#also hanging out with friends but ya know

[chosove]

Like a Friend | g.s

synopsis. Gojo fell in love with Utahime’s stepsister the second he saw her. Unfortunately for him, you were taken. You were also about 3 years older than him. It wasn’t fairing well for Gojo since you’d always see him as the awkward kid you grew up with.

warnings. Literally none LOL I think this is cute but let me know😼 I think some parts are suggestive but other than that I fink it’s good?!

an. Um this is my first time writing like a proper fic…bare with me🥲 let me know if u like it…if not don’t tell me dawg. if this is liked I will make more parts

wc. 2k-ish

Satoru still remembers the first time he saw you.

Or rather, the first time you saw him.

He was standing on your front lawn with Utahime in front of him, a hand of his reaching behind her head to slip her hair from the accessory she held it in. He’d just arrived home after his first day of junior high school, deciding to blow off some steam upon seeing his favorite upperclassman.

“Give it back, Gojo!” Utahime shrieked, one hand gripping the hair now hanging down her shoulders after being freed from the bow she’d tied it into.

Satoru smirked as he continued to bounce the accessory above the older girl's head, laughing at her attempts to reach the ribbon.

“Aw c’mon ‘hime, ya gonna cry?” He taunted, delighting in the cherry red color her cheeks were painted with, her face contorting into pure rage.

“This is not how you treat those who are older than you!” Utahime shouted at him, now lunging towards his neck with her arms stretched out as he held her back with a hand on her forehead.

Before he could come up with a quick retort, he heard a voice speak behind him.

“Hmmm? And what would you know about respect, Utahime?”

Gojo lost focus when he turned towards the source of the sweet sound, heat rising to his cheeks as he made eye contact with the girl he identified as Utahime’s new stepsister (like really new. like, ‘6 months ago’ new. not that he kept tabs on Utahime- he’d just remember if he saw a pretty girl). Using his state of awe to her advantage, Utahime kicked at Satoru’s knees, knocking him to the ground before landing on him with a grunt and pulling her ribbon from his hands.

“First of all, you’re only like a year older than me. Second, do NOT group me in with him.“ she grimaced as she spoke the last word, a disgusted nudge of her chin towards the man on the ground.

You scoffed at her remark, finally looking towards the eyes that were burning a hole into you. “whatever you say ‘hime.“

Gojo blushed fiercely as you continued to make eye contact with him while saying the same things he did. “Doesn't really seem like you two hate each other right now…I’d go as far as saying I see a spark.”

Realizing the position he was in, he quickly shoved Utahime off of his body, ignoring the grunt that left her as she fell onto her back.

“Ew!” Gojo shouted, turning to you once he’d gotten up. “S-she wishes she were my type, as if.”

Did he just stutter?

Sure, he was a loser that loved digimon and unexplained physics problems, but usually he was the one to make people stutter. Even if he used too much axe body spray and had the odd pimple or ten- he was undeniably beautiful.

You smirked at his shy demeanor, a drastic change from the boy who had just been tormenting your younger sister in a way you thought only yourself capable of.

You turned once again towards Utahime. “You coming for dinner or you just gonna play with your boyfriend all night?” your voice teased, giggling at the anger emanating from your younger sister.

Glancing away after seeing her nod, you made eye contact with the young man in front of you- his intense gaze scanning all your features as if to memorize them.

“You’re really good at getting on her nerves y’know. She talks about how much she hates you like, all the time.”

You leaned in towards his ear before continuing. “Don't worry, I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Before he could emphasize that they really were just friends (even if Utahime says the opposite), you were skipping off to the door of your house.

It was that day he fell for you.

-

It wasn’t until about…eight years later Satoru realized he was not gonna get over you. He also realized after all these years, that maybe he wasn’t that normal about his crushes. Not in the “I’m sooo crazy, I found her moms facebook!” way- no, it was much worse.

“Listen Satoru, y’know I’m gonna support your weird shit like you do mine” Suguru sighed, shaking his head in disapproval as they continued walking deeper into the Victoria’s Secret you worked at. “But isn’t this kinda…too much? How do you even know she’s working today? Or wait, how do you even know she works here?”

Satoru rolled his eyes as if his best friend had just asked the most obvious question. “I looked at her schedule? Duh?” he scoffed, pausing to look at a matching set he just knew you’d look perfect in. Did you own anything from here? Were you required to wear this kinda stuff since it was your job? Your whole wardrobe was probably filled with lacy sets that would just be so easy to rip-

“Dude,” Suguru spoke while waving his hand in front of Satoru’s face. “I’m gonna ignore the borderline stalker shit you just said, plus the fact you’re gonna cream your pants while touching some discount thongs, but why would she even talk to the creepy guys from her neighborhood?”

Suguru had endured every awkward stage Satoru went through- mostly because he was right next to him for it all. From their secret obsession with soap operas and cheesy rom-coms, all the way to those nights of stealing their parents alcohol which would end with Satoru crying as he wondered why you wouldn’t like him back- Suguru stayed.

Unfortunately for Satoru, the boyish charm of this crush wore off when Satoru started doing lowkey scary shit like finding out where and when you worked, for example.

Gently setting down the lingerie he had made a mental note to buy as a first date gift for you (he wasn’t getting ahead of himself, you were gonna be head over heels in no time), he shook his head at his best friend.

“Suguru, Suguru, Suguru” he sighed, placing his hands on his friends shoulders in exasperation. “Obviously you know nothing about love- first of all” Satoru began, puffing his chest out to signal he had no shame over his crush-turned-obsession. “Girls love surprises and grand gestures. This is like, two in one. Second, I didn’t STALK. I mean sure, I did beg Utahime to use the washroom since I ‘conveniently lost my key’ just to get into their house…but thats like, cute.”

Satoru was glad to finally put an end to Suguru’s disapproval when he saw his friend's mouth agape, proud of his actions which were 100% reasonable to him. It wasn’t until he felt a soft hand snake around his shoulders that he realized Suguru still thought he was psycho, it was just the person he was psycho about that made Suguru’s jaw drop.

“Moving this fast with our little ‘hime, hm?”

Snapping back, Satoru flushed deeply at your implication, also wondering how much you’d just heard.

“N-no way!” Gojo nearly shouted, hands desperately waving in front of him to indicate that the only person he’d ever consider in Utahime’s family was you.

You giggled at his wide eyes as you shoved his shoulder, the melody of your laughter becoming his new favourite sound. “I’m kidding ‘toru,”

Oh.

Oh God.

He really was gonna cream his pants- would it be weird if he called you a nickname too? He had so many he wanted to try out, plus he had the practice to back it up- he spent so many nights trying out the different pet names he could call you while he thought of caressing your body, the sound of your voice crying toru toru toru ringing in his ears as he-

“I’m assuming you’re here for a girl though, yeah?” you questioned, watching as the boy behind him shoved Gojo forward. He got so lost in his thoughts that he forgot the main topic of all his wet dreams was right in front of him.

Awaiting his nod of confirmation, you reached across him to grab a light blue pair of lingerie, body pressed against his while you dug through the bins of lace behind him.

He’d be more excited over the color and the fact it matched his eyes if it weren’t for the fact he could feel your tits pressed right against him.

Would it be wrong if he took a peak? Maybe he could pretend to fall and ‘accidentally’ land face first into your chest.

“This one’s my boyfriend's favorite.” you sighed dreamily, fingers running against the frilly edges while you reminisced on what he assumed to be very mediocre nights with your boyfriend.

Huh.

“Looks good on, but even better off” you spoke, outlining the pretty floral details detailing the set. You leaned in to speak in his ear, “plus, it’s super easy to remove, if you get what I mean.” finishing with a wink.

He gulped and nodded at your (far too extensive in his opinion) knowledge.

“S-sounds good, can you ring me up?” Satoru asked, grabbing the set from your hands and racing to the register.

You and Suguru both stared at his broad back nearly falling on his way to the checkout, a curious smirk forming on your lips before you strolled over to the counter. It felt weird seeing the little kids next door grow into…men. Of course Satoru was buying lingerie- he’d grown so handsomely into his lanky feature, now filling out the shirts that you swore were baggy on him just a few years ago.

You carefully scanned the set, folding it oh so prettily before placing it in the sleek black bag, finishing the purchase with a hot pink tissue paper to cushion the bag. Satoru watched your hands methodically do this process as his mind went a hundred miles a minute.

No, Satoru didn’t know what size it was.

Yes, he was devastated at the fact you had some sleazy, lowlife boyfriend (who wasn’t him).

Yes, he was painfully hard from your proximity and suggestive language.

As far as priorities go for him, his goal right now was to successfully make it out of here without you seeing the heartbreak on his face or the fact he got a boner after being near you for like 5 minutes.

It felt like years before you finally passed him the card machine, beginning to speak but quickly being cut off as a beep! rang out and the bag was ripped from your hands. “Did you need a recei-“

“NO THANKS GOTTA GO SEEYOULATERMAYBETHANKSBYETHANKS” Satoru shouted, crumpling the package in his hands and speeding out the doors to his car, Suguru on his tail.

It wasn’t until he was out of the mall that he finally took a breath, the realization that fuck, he actually didn’t have a chance with you? really hitting him.

Yeah, he was a creep who sometimes stared with his mouth open for a bit too long when you would ask him something. And okay sure you saw his awkward phase with braces, then the lisp he had from retainers, then braces again because he didn’t wear his retainers- but still, he was attractive enough right?

Preparing for a scolding from Suguru for almost leaving him behind, Satoru didn’t hide the heartbreak written across his face.

“Hey, I’m sorry man…There’s so many girls who’d die to get a chance with you, don’t worry” Suguru comforted, patting his friends back as he rested his head on the steering wheel.

mumbling something to the floor of the car, Satoru groaned loudly before finally picking his head up. “Not worried. just annoyed. Gonna be harder now.” Satoru whined, closing his eyes as he recalled the way you bit your lip and squeezed his arms. Was he imagining it or did you need him just as bad?

Hearing no clever retort from his friend, Satoru turned his head to find Suguru with pure confusion etched on his features.

“Fuck it. Never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband, right?” Satoru spoke, key turning in the ignition as he was filled with a new dedication.

One way or another, Satoru was going to make you see how good you two would be together.

Preferably an easy way where you confessed your love to him first so he didn’t have to fold, but somehow nonetheless.

[ozzgin]

Hii omg it's me again I finished reading Clover and I loved it sm ty for recommending it, u recommended it a while back but after that um post u made for the types of delinquent boyfriends I got the motivation to finish reading it!! My fav is probably Kira and Sanada :3 which isn't shocking since I love kawachi tesshou.....

Me when I see a blonde delinquent:

Oh, I'm so glad! At last, someone who knows about this gem. Similar to Takahashi sensei's works, Clover has a very robust and simplistic art in the beginning, but you can see how much it improves in the second half. The style is quite unique in my opinion, and also very detailed; my man is very much into motorcycles.

I probably would've included Kira in the post if it wasn't for the fact that his arc is very short and you only get a glimpse into his personality. Like, sure, he's a stubbornly loyal leader of a biker gang, but what else?

Sanada is my personal favorite, too. For whatever reason, he reminds me a lot of Mitsumasa; they're both very casual, flexible, easygoing. You just know they'd make great boyfriends. I can imagine Erina becoming a huge fan of yours and following you around because she finds you cool. "Oi, you better not mess up with (Y/N), ya hear?!", she'll loudly scold her brother in front of everyone. "They're gonna be my sibling-in-law!"

I also like to imagine Reader as Misaki's best friend, so the boys often get into catfights because of it. Misaki being terribly upset that someone is stealing his friend (who is he going to hang out with now?!), and Sanada grunting with a pout whenever he learns Misaki just shows up at your place whenever he feels like it, or complaining whenever the menace third wheels your dates.

"You can't just do that, man," he argues in despair, looking at Kikuchi for support.

"Ugh, I've been doing it way before you two started dating, so mind your business," Misaki barks. "Besides, why do you care so much? Why're you so adamant to be alone with (Y/N), huh? I'm watching you. Don't try anything funny."

[celtigxr]

THE PINK DREAD - CH. 35 (Masterlist)

Chapter Summary: The youth are at it again. Word Count: 5312 CHAPTER WARNINGS: 18+, MDNI. Some of the mature content involves a sixteen year old, just fyi.

Series tags: Aemond x Plus size!OfC, Aegon x Plus size!OfC, Celtigar!ofc, Plot with Smut, mdni 18+, Aemond End Game, Angst, Comedy, The Dragons Don't Dance, slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers.

Credits: Lace Banner by V6que pearl divider by Pommecita

Notes: NEW LOOK! This was supposed to be done at chapter 30, but ya girl is LAZY. Anyway, it works out, because after this chapter, things shift a bit dramatically.

Valeana cradled her head in her palms as she sat in the centre of her bed, her knees propped up as she folded herself up. She had left the supper early, just after she stepped in between Daemon and Aemond, not knowing if she would be the only one to leave early, or if they would continue their skirmish after she left. The only thing Valeana knew was that no one followed her when went out the door. 

Her head was heavy with the weight of the evening; it felt like a storm cloud was hanging above her, drilling rain and hail down upon her. There was a moment that evening that she believed peace was being achieved, even when the Valyrian Dinner was as tense as she expected, especially but not exclusively due to her own predicament. The ongoing family feud between Rhaenyra and Alicent was so well known, the Seven Kingdoms had already taken sides, which would effectively sever the Realm in half. 

Valeana abhorred the idea of war, and now that she danced precariously on the line between Black and Green, she hated it even more. If Viserys died and peace was not established prior, sides would be taken and the Throne would be usurped. Her father would likely side with the Blacks, given his long-standing relationship with them and their proximity, but if Valeana were to wed Aemond or Aegon? She would make her family a natural enemy. Or force them to turn their back on their neighbours and friends and make them and Claw Isle a large target, a sitting duck in a pond full of crocodiles.

It felt like a tease at dinner, where that moment of hope that peace could be achieved. From Viserys’ speech, to the tributes that followed, to the official announcement of Jace and Helaena’s betrothal. Though all of that was shattered by the dysfunctional duo of Aegon and Aemond Targaryen. Not only did Valeana feel like she was a toy that was being tugged between two possessive hounds, but they were the sole cause of the return of the tension. 

Suddenly, for the first time since she arrived, Valeana was overcome with what the future would look like for her. She had not once looked that far ahead of herself, always too focused on her present predicament, but now that the cloud of consequence loomed heavily above her head, it was difficult to ignore the smell of rain. 

A life with Aegon would certainly never be dull, but his chaotic nature can only be endearing for so long. She also didn’t know if Aegon had any ambition or felt entitled to the crown at all. And if that were the case… being his wife would make her a target, as would their future children. Plus there were other factors… would Aegon remain loyal? Would he still frequent brothels and keep lovers when Valena grows old? Or, if she gains weight again from pregnancies, and he is reminded of the piglet girl she used to be, would he regret his decision of marrying her?

Then, there was Aemond. She knew he would be loyal to her, and no doubt would continue his pursuit in proving he is worthy of her. Her life with Aemond wouldn’t be unpredictable, but it would be just as chaotic as Aegon’s for different reasons entirely. Aemond would strive for confrontation regardless of the state of the Crown; his ambition has always been the Throne, a fact of which Valeana had always known, but never thought so closely on it given that Aemond was so low on the totem of succession. However, if Aegon relinquishes his claims, and a civil war amongst kin happens, Aemond would be next in line, and she knew without a doubt, he would take that opportunity with fire and blood. 

Valeana was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard the sound of stones scraping against each other. For the briefest moment her pulse rate quickened, but when she turned to the source of the sound and saw that it was the shelf that concealed the hidden entrance, she relaxed. Right, Aegon said he was going to come see her before everything had gone down.

Val sat up expectedly as Aegon peaked around the corner, looking like an apprehensive cat treading through unfamiliar territory. When he sees her, he lets out the breath he had been holding. 

“Thank the gods,” Aegon tucked through the short portal and entered the bedquarters. “For a moment I thought I was going to walk in on your sister changing or something equally as horrifying.” 

Valeana looked down as she fiddled with the fabric of her vermillion dress, “My family left the party?” She asked, only slightly curious, since she hadn’t heard them return, and if they had, someone would’ve came up and checked on her. 

“‘Dunno,” Aegon shrugged as he came up to the bed and perched himself at its edge. “I left before our fathers returned. Wanted to get out of the line of fire as soon as possible.” 

“I’m surprised,” she responded with a small, albeit rueful smirk. “I would think you’d love to watch the drama unfold.”

“Normally, yes, but… If I stayed, my mother or grandsire would’ve grabbed me by my ear and hauled me and Aemond off to some tower dungeon.”

At the mention of Aemond, Valeana ran her teeth over her bottom lip. “Did Aemond stay behind?” She asked, already knowing the answer. 

“No, he… he left shortly after you did,” there was a beat of silence as the two of them let their thoughts wander, but that was soon cut short when Aegon shifted closer to her. He opened his mouth mutely, debating what he was going to say. His hand hovered over hers for a moment before it finally rested atop, then he gently folded his fingers underneath her palm.

 “Crab Cake…” He began tentatively, his eyes glued to their hands. “I understand that what happened wasn’t the most positive experience; family quarrels are often upsetting for everyone, but…” Finally, Aegon looks up at her, his eyebrows creased in his confusion. “You kind of… overreacted.” 

Valeana immediately felt herself get defensive. Her shoulders began to square up, but before she could say anything, Aegon was quick to continue. 

“What happened between Aemond, my nephews and I had nothing to do with you.”

“Aegon,” she sounded stressed when she pinched her nose. “When the children of the King fight amongst each other, it involves everyone.”

“I don’t agree,” he dismissed that notion with a wave of his hand. “King Jaehaerys’ children fought constantly, and nothing came of it.”

Valeana’s eyebrows raised to her hairline, “A lot came out of it, Aegon.” Her hands swiped over her eyes and nose as she felt herself grow frustrated with his dismissive attitude. “You want to know why I’m upset? I’m being pulled around, being asked for my forgiveness left and right; being asked to forget the past, to let it go, to move on by the very people who refuse to do the very same with their own past.”

Aegon sighed, his hand reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose, the other lifting up almost placatingly, “Valeana, the situation is…quite different.”

“Oh, it quite is. Because what was done to me was far more horrendous than a little boy with a knife in self defence, and sibling jealousy.”

That seemed to upset him, the way his brow furrowed and his lip curled, but Aegon also appeared to struggle to articulate words while trying to not make this into a full confrontation. “Valeana–it’s– you’re–” He groaned into his palm, eyes shut as he tried to mull through his thoughts. She stared at him with narrowed eyes, wondering if he was going to say something stupid like how her losing her foot wasn’t as bad as the grudges him and his brothers held. When he finally spoke, his tone was carefully controlled. 

“I am not saying what you endured is less or worse, Valeana. And I do not think everyone would fault you for never forgiving a single person that put you through that, but…” Aegon ran his hand through his hair, not looking at her as his frustration started to build. Frustrated at what, she wondered? At being wrong, at her for ‘overreacting’, or his incompetence of explaining himself? “You just need to believe me when I say that our House is incredibly complicated. It-it goes beyond Aemond, Helaena, Daeron, and I… It is not easy to simply move on.”

He was right, of course, but Valeana was not willing to accept that, not when her future hung in the balance. When she rubbed her fingers over her eyes and down her cheeks, she gave off a soft, albeit frustrated sigh through her lips. “I—I understand that, Aegon, I do… But, I just… hoped that tonight peace would be found and this would all just end, finally. I do not want to be a part of a war.” 

Aegon tilted his head at her, his brow knitting as he shook his head. He moved closer to her along the edge of the bed, his hand reaching out to grasp her hand, “There will be no war, Valeana. And if there is…” He shook his head again, this time a bit dismissively, “You will be nowhere near it.”

He sounded so sure of it, almost like he had already thought it through, but he couldn’t know that, of course, and he was wrong. She would be near it, regardless of which way her pendulum swings. 

 “Aegon, I will,” She insisted, her hand squeezing his. “If I marry either you or Aemond, I am aligning myself with the Greens. My family will align with the Blacks; it will make my family my enemy. And… if I do not choose either of you, then it will make me your enemy. Either way, Aegon, it is not a position I wish to be in.” 

It was clear that Aegon wanted to argue, but also he craved to end this conversation as soon as possible. He was looking down at her hand squeezing his own, the muscles in his jaw taut with tension, and his brow furrowed as he digested her words. Finally, after what felt like forever, he clasped his other hand over hers, holding it with both of his. 

“I understand your worries,” he started, in that painfully controlled tone of his. It sounded like he didn’t actually understand, or he did, he just did not find her worries valid enough to warrant his own concern. “But, you needn’t think about it too much now, Valeana. Not to mention,” and he continued a bit grudgingly. “With Jace’s betrothal to Helaena, the prospect of a war amongst my kin is dim. I doubt my mother will want to risk her only daughter’s life… Not to mention, she’s getting what she wanted– one of her children on the throne.” 

Valeana opened her mouth again, a million and one things on her tongue to argue against that, but Aegon lifted his finger up to silence her. 

“Valeana,” he stressed her name. “Dwelling on it right now is not helping anyone. Please, just… relax?” He shifted on the bed until he was finally at her side, his hands moving from her hands, up her arms before resting on her shoulders. “You’re tense, Crab Cake. Here, let me help…”

Valeana was tense and she wanted to continue to be tense and bothered, but Aegon was doing a good job at redirecting her wants and needs. With gentle coercion and guidance, he maneuvered their bodies so he was seated against the headboard and she was nestled between his spread legs, her back facing him.

Aegon’s thumbs dug into the meat of the top of her spine, his other fingers kneading the junction between her shoulders. Despite her previous mood, Valeana felt herself sigh and close her eyes at the sensation. She could feel his breath waft on the back of her neck, warm and smelling a lot like wine, but not overpoweringly so. Her thoughts still weighed on her mind heavily, and she felt like she wasn’t sufficiently calmed over her anxieties over the problem. But, perhaps Aegon was right; now wasn’t the best time to dwell on it too much, and, frankly, if she were going to dwell on it, perhaps Aegon wasn’t the best person to discuss this with in earnest. 

Valeana gave a deep sigh, letting herself get lost in Aegon’s massage. She shouldn’t be too surprised how good he was at it, if there was one thing Aegon excelled at, it was working flesh with his hands. Though, now that she thought about it, she hasn’t… really experienced that for herself. Until now. 

Aegon shifted himself behind her until she could feel his nose graze the back of her head. His breathing tickled her hair there, making her hum from the contact. “Do you feel better?” He asked in a soft voice, his fingers moving over the curve of her shoulders. Then he dipped his head so he was hovering above the junction between her right shoulder and neck, his lips a hair's breadth away, his breath warming the skin there. 

Valeana dropped her head down to her clavicle and sighed as she reluctantly conceded, “Yes…” 

Aegon smiled at her answer, very pleased that he managed to derail the argument. He did not come sneaking through the walls of Maegor’s Holdfast to argue with her about hypotheticals. His fingers diligently kept their ministrations, moving down her spine until he hit the hemline of lace on her back. Aegon leaned in and planted a kiss on the top of her spine, then followed along the ridges of her shoulders. 

His fingers started to dig along her ribs through the fabric of her dress. “I believe this is my favourite dress you’ve worn so far, Crab Cake,” he murmured against her skin. 

With eyes still closed and chin bowed against her clavicle, Valeana smirked at his statement. “More than the one that reminded you of your mother?” Her smirk widened into a full grown grin when she felt Aegon sigh heavily against her back. 

“I should not have to ask this of you, but Valeana, could you not bring up my mother when I am trying to seduce you?” 

Val couldn’t stop herself from laughing, her hand reaching up to clasp over her mouth to contain the noise. And of course, she couldn’t help herself when she added: “It certainly feels like you don’t mind– AH!” She was cut off when Aegon wrapped his arms around her middle and tickled her stomach. 

“You’re unbelievable, darling. You know what you do to me, and yet you tease me so cruelly,” as he said this, he continued to tickle her, making Valeana fold into her body. She was making soft squealing sounds as she tried to bite her tongue to prevent her from gasping and giggling loudly. If her family had returned, she did not want to give them a reason to come upstairs and check up on her if they heard sounds coming from her room. “A-A-Aegon, st-st-stop,” she gasped, trying to worm her way out of his grasp by rolling on her side, but he was practically latching onto her, pressing his chest against his back. 

“Oh, I don’t know, Crab Cake. I quite like this position,” His top teeth sank into his lips as he coiled his arms around her middle more, trying to grab and tickle as many rolls and curves he could find. His shoulders shake in a silent laugh when he hears her groan at his teasing. After a few moments, Aegon frees her from the tickling, but he still remains nestled against her like a large spoon. 

Valeana is trying to catch her breath as her body limply slumps on the mattress, “Sev-Seven hells, Egg. Don’t do that again. I couldn’t breathe.”

He plants an open-mouthed kiss on the back of her neck again, and she could practically feel his smirk when he does, “Left you breathless, have I? I could think of other ways to achieve that, that are more pleasurable for both of us.” To emphasize his point, his hips roll into her behind, enough for her to feel his bulge even more than she had felt before. 

This traitorous body of hers was responding so eagerly to Aegon’s. The remnants of her dream last night lingered in the back of her mind too, and it wasn’t lost on her that Aegon was in this very p

osition as well; pressed against her back, his cock prodding her rear. Her eyes fluttered closed at the memory, which is what it felt like – a memory. The dream was so vivid that she somehow had physical memories of it, and now with the real Aegon prodding her from behind, it triggered the onslaught of feelings. 

“Ae-Aegon…” His name came out as a sigh, hoarse with desire, and the sound made Aegon freeze for a moment. There was an unmistakable shift in the air; from the heated argument, to the playful tickles, to stomach-fluttering sexual tension.

This is exactly the place that Aegon hoped to be when he came to her that evening. With the freedom of privacy, the excitement of being right under the nose of her father, and the knowledge that she was… free from Mother’s curse, Aegon would have been a fool if he hadn’t taken advantage of this prime opportunity. It felt too much like a gift from the gods, and all the devils in the hells knew that isn’t something that happened for Aegon Targaryen. Hearing his name coming from her mouth like a desperate plea was all he needed to move forward. She wanted him, that much was clear to Aegon. 

“Valeana,” He moaned into her ear, the deep timbre of his voice making the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. 

She could hear how his breathing became laboured, the moist warmth of it wafting on the exposed skin of her neck and back, the aroma of wine far more prominent now than it was before. Her own breath caught in her throat when she felt his hands grasp the fabric of her skirts desperately, bunching it up to her hips. The touch of the air on her exposed legs gave her goosebumps, making her instinctively press her thighs together from being exposed. 

“I’m going to make you feel so good, Valeana,” Aegon’s heady voice sounded so desperate, and with his chest pressed against her back, she could actually feel his rapid heart beat through the layers of his doublet. 

When she felt his hands on her inner thighs, prying them open so he had access to the laces of her smallclothes, Valeana suddenly felt a little panicked. It was as if he had just breached the threshold that separated from fantasy to reality, and the reality of her venturing to places where there was no going back started to sink in. Yet despite her uncertainty, the words ‘wait’ or ‘stop’ were wiped from her vocabulary the moment when she felt Aegon’s hand cup her sex. 

Valeana sharply inhaled at the feeling of someone else’s hand making contact with her most intimate area. She could practically feel her own pulse in her core as all the blood pumped down to her loins. Aegon groaned into her neck at the same time, and she could feel his fingers twitch in anticipation against her inner lips. 

“Fuck, you’re so damn warm…” He inhaled the scent of her hair deeply as he cantered his hips into her again. With his hand grasping her core, he was able to keep her still so he could grind against her properly. 

Her heart was pounding in her chest, not just from arousal and anticipation, but from nerves. Her anxiety was mixing with the conflicting emotions, and that little voice of apprehension started to grow louder in the back of her head. Did she really want to do this? Did she really want to go this far with Aegon?

But before she could answer that question even internally, before Aegon could even plunge his eager fingers into her, the choice was made for her. In the form of her father’s voice, loud and filled with the most outrage she’s ever heard. 

“YOU DARE DEFILE MY DAUGHTER UNDER MY VERY ROOF?!” 

Daeron the Daring did not gain this moniker from being sensible and boring. He was a young man full of hubris, and had lived 16 years of no consequences for his impulsive actions. Nothing ever went wrong for Daeron; every dangerous stunt he pulled has always gone his way. From jousting men twice his size or age, to hunting boars and fully grown stags with just a bow and a dagger. Or rather just simply the flights and performances he pulls on Tessarion. Many have warned him no to be so reckless, that soon his luck would run out, but Daeron would ignore this, because he truly believed he was the Seven’s favorite prince. 

So when he was warned about Shyla Celtigar – and many did warn him – Daeron dismissed their claims completely. Particularly since it was primarily his grandsire who had been adamant on him not associating himself with a Celtigar, least of all, Shyla.. 

But then again, there was the issue of the fourth storm he also was juggling. Daeron did care about Floris Baratheon, their correspondence together was a great moment in his life that he cherished. However, the person she presented in her letters greatly differed to the person she actually was. Floris wasn’t unpleasant by any means, she was exceptionally beautiful and swee, but she was a lot more… boring and quiet than she let on in her letters. And Daeron was a man of adventure… which is why he was drawn to Shyla Celtigar.

Where Shyla lacked in looks in comparison to Floris, she made up for in her extrovertedness. Shyla loved asking him questions and hearing his stories. He basked in her praise and attention, and not to mention she encouraged his impulsive side, so unlike anyone else in his life. Actually, she did more than encourage it, she took part in it some of the time. That much was evident at the Maiden’s Day Ball near the tail end of the evening when Shyla took his hand after their dance and discreetly left the premises. They slipped into the garden and got lost in a maze of hedges. There, where the only thing that could see them were the stars and the sliver of the waning crescent moon, Daeron and Shyla entangled themselves in a risky romp in the grass. 

They did not have full penetrative sex, but they did many other things. Alas, come the next day, Daeron was approached by Boros Baratheon and Otto, their intent was very obvious by the way they discussed Floris and the relationship between the Reach and the Stormlands. It was bluntly obvious that Daeron had no choice in the matter – he was going to marry Floris Baratheon whether he chose to or not. It didn’t upset him in the slightest that he would be married to her, despite her being a bore; Floris would make a pretty bride and an agreeable wife. He was more so upset that the decision was made for him without much discussion. Though, in reality, he would have chosen Floris anyway, because he was smart enough to recognize the political advantages, but also he was more encouraged at the prospect of having a young and beautiful bride. Her shyness and reservedness was tolerable, and something he could live with at least. 

It was just… There was something about Shyla Celtigar that drew him in, and Daeron the Daring wasn’t one to resist temptation. Even if the signs were obvious that in this dynamic they shared, he was the moth and she was the flame. A giant forest fire, more like.

In the aftermath of the chaos that was the Valyrian dinner, Daeron was left displaced and out of the loop, given his long separation from his siblings. He did not share the struggles they endured and there he was left standing, trying to understand fully what had happened. As he stood idly in the din of it all, Shyla took his hand and gave him a conspiratorial grin before sneaking him out before anyone noticed their presence. 

“Where are you taking me?” He asked with a sly grin, already knowing the answer. 

Shyla turned to him with that innocent little smile of hers. “Nowhere special,” The slight curve of her lips turned into a grin as she pulled him into an alcove before pulling the drapes that framed it tightly closed . 

Before Daeron could react or make a move, Shyla’s hands were gripping his doublet, and practically yanking his body flushed against hers. Her lips found his in that frenzied, hungered dance of teeth and tongue that he loved so much. God, it felt so good to feel her utterly so desperate for him. 

He knew that eventually he would have to end things with her, with his betrothal to Floris being processed very soon. But, that could wait… for now, he intended to enjoy every ounce of attention she was willing to give him. 

Their heavy petting got very eager, to the point where she had her legs wrapped around his waist and he had her pinned against the wall. Daeron’s face was nuzzled into her neck, planting soft kisses and nips while she combed through his hair with her greedy fingers and grinded against his hips with her own. 

Daeron’s arousal was immediately reactive to her movements. With her dress hitched up to her hips, his hands cannily gripped onto the supple flesh of her thighs. Yes, Daeron wasn’t a virgin nor was he lacking many notches in his belt, but he was still a young man easily spurred by the basic desires of his sex. It clouded his judgement, making him forget the world outside of Shyla’s thighs. Had he been thinking with his brain and not his cock, then perhaps he would’ve said no to Shyla’s suggestion. 

“I want you, Daeron,” Shyla’s breath was hot and heavy against his ear. Her hands had found the sides of his face, guiding him to look at her. Their noses bumped into each other, forcing Daeron to gaze into her eyes, which were dark and full of lust, obsession ���all for him. He couldn’t help but let go of his honour entirely. 

He had resisted taking her like an animal in heat these last few days for the sake of propriety. Daeron wasn’t going to take her as his wife and he wasn’t going to ruin her just so he could get his dick wet… Until now, that was. Now all that mattered was that he needed to fuck Shyla Celtigar at least once before he is shackled to Floris Baratheon. 

Daeron was fully prepared to take her right then and there, but she stopped him before he could undo the laces of his breeches. 

“Not here; we might get caught,” she braced herself against the wall as she unlaced her legs from around his waist. 

Daeron gave a low grumble but relented, his one remaining brain cell at least acknowledged the logic in her words, but that is about the extent of it. He doesn’t even question the absurdity of Shyla’s alternative spot as she led him into the presumingly empty solar of her family’s apartments. 

The solar was dark when they entered, with only a few sconces lit and the dying embers of the hearth to guide their way. Once the door closed behind him, they were immediately tangled with each other, bumping into furniture as he battled with her tongue in each other's mouths. Soon he had her on the chaise lounger, hovering over her body, nestled between her slender legs.

No, Daeron was not thinking at all when he unlaced her corset and freed her breasts. Nor did he allow himself to register the muffled murmurs and giggles that came from one of the bedchambers upstairs. He was far too busy thinking about how Shyla would taste on his tongue, if she was as sweet as her honeyed words and as addicting as her eyes of devotion were… And if he would feel the snap of her maidenhead when his cock punched through the thin barrier. 

Shyla was the one to make the move to unlace his breeches, doing so with such speed and ease, that if Daeron had the brain capacity at present, he might’ve wondered if she did this before. Though what remained of his wits were now concentrating on pushing her skirt up to her waist so he could unlace the threads that kept her small clothes shut. Before Daeron could properly marvel at Shyla’s exposed sex in the dim lighting of the solar, she already had him floored in awe when she had grasped his cock. She’s done this before with him, and yet it never ceased to render him sputtering. Her palm felt like warm silk and her fingers seemed to know exactly where to press and massage. 

“Oh, hells,” Daeron shudders to her touch, his muscles trembling as he tries to keep himself hovering above her. “Shyla– Shyla, I need you, fuck, please–” He practically falls on top of her, incapable of holding the weight of both his body and his desires up any longer. 

Shyla did not mind, if anything she used it as an excuse to wrap her limbs around him and bring him closer until the tip of his cock was up against her core. Daeron gave a soft moan at the feeling, at the anticipation of finally pushing through, to be enveloped completely by her all-encompassing warmth. 

He was not the one guiding himself in, it was all Shyla, who grasped him and moved the blunt tip along her folds, rubbing it over her pearl and down to gather as much of her essence as possible. Daeron’s fingers curled into the chair, his nails biting into the threads and causing them to fray. He gave off a shuddered moan, his impatience growing more and more with his need to be buried inside of her. It was almost like she was doing this on purpose, like she was trying to prolong it as much as possible. Only for Daeron, that felt like torture. He needed to be inside her, like he never needed anything before. 

Then, after what felt like fucking forever, she started to guide him into the mouth of her sex and Daeron could not hold back any longer. Reduced to an animal in rut, he surged forward with his hips, sheathing himself into her down to the hilt. Shyla arched against him, a sharp gasp-like groan came out of her the same time he made a noise similar to it. His muscles twitched as he felt her around him, and he stayed still for a moment before reaching down to grab her hip and position one of her legs to go over his shoulder. Then, Daeron jackrabbit-ed into her over and over again. 

Daeron had just reached his blissful peak when the hells descended upon them. As his body convulsed, and emptied inside of her, his euphoria quickly turned into despair when the front door to the apartments swung open. There was a sharp intake of breath, followed by the booming voice of the Lord of Claw Isle:

“YOU DARE DEFILE MY DAUGHTER UNDER MY VERY ROOF?!” 

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX SNEAK PEEK: “We may as well buy extra fabric, Mother. For a second wedding dress.” Valeana paused midway with a spoonful of porridge, the utensil hovering just above her tongue. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as everyone looked at her with equal parts surprise and mortification.  Floris gave a loud scoff, “Not Valeana. Me.”

Notes: Oh Daeron... Daeron the Dumbass. Daeron the Delusioned. Daeron the Dick-Minded. God these Targaryen Princes just have 2 braincells between the three of them, don't they. Anyway, in case you missed it, I made the first round of the cast list, here! I will eventually post the rest; it just takes a while because my pc hates when I run photoshop, it suddenly turns into a grandma, even for the simplest things.

Tag: @queen-of-elves, @keylin1730, @anakilusmos, @weepingfashionwritingplaid, @sugutoad, @desireangel, @t0biasparabatai

( if you wish to be tagged for this story, just give me a reply! )

Please do not re post, redistribute or plagiarize my work. The only other place this story is posted on is ao3 under the same username.

[bunstoybox]

Happy valentines day everybody! Really happy I got this done in time <33

[ohmigoshiloveu]

Okay so like. I still haven't managed to get myself to finish episode 9, so I don't fully know how Theo's glow up finishes, but regardless I fucking love relistening to Emizel's section of episode 1 and like. Fuck man Theo does a lot of growing. Like he's a little bit pathetic at the beginning of the series. He's so, so brave during the alleyway fight, but he sounds shaky and scared and like a sopping wet pathetic baby the entire time. Charlie specifically describes him as not very alert, not a great fighter, and gives him this little moment where it takes him a second to manage to crush a soda can. He botches the check to beat Emizel in Smash Bros so there's a chance he sucks at the related skills (dexterity and computers I think?), but also after he loses Charlie specifically has him sound super frustrated and conclude that he should've 'stayed in his lane'. When Emizel says 'We'll do what we do best,' and Theo immediately responds with 'drink soda?' so fast that the other players notice it. Charlie might've had that as a predetermined character thing. Theo drinks soda. There's not much else to him.

Which creates this interesting dynamic between him and Emizel, because Emizel is so much better at him at all of these skills that the people around them (a FUCKING GANG) value. Emizel's perceptive, and agile, and strong, and a great fucking fighter irl and in videogames AND he always sounds badass. He's the top dog, the apex predator in their social circle. And I think that colors their relationship a lot? Like Theo has to look up to Emizel. I bet that Theo's looked up to Emizel since they first met, maybe Emizel came crashing into his life doing something epic and Theo thought it was the greatest shit ever.

On the flip side, I was getting a few hints of resentment? Hear me out! It's that 'should have just stayed in my lane' line. He's painfully aware how great Emizel is, compared to how much he's (from his perspective!) just a one trick pony. He's here to drink soda and say funny things, that's all most people want from him and he fucks up whenever he tries to do anything else!

And later in the segment Theo snarkily brings up a medicine check that Emizel had just fucked up in like this super backhanded, super passive aggressive way. That could be him wanting to rub Emizel's one singular fuck up in his face (especially because Theo was having a Moment about how he feels like people only see him as the soda guy, so any feelings of inadequacy would've been dialed up to eleven, so if there was any time for him to resent Emizel it'd be then), but it could also be that he was frustrated with Emizel being an ass (Emizel had just guessed that Theo's dream was to be a nurse, which was flat out wrong, and that's literally what set up the backhanded comment. Theo was saying something like 'thank fuck you don't wanna be a nurse cuz you sure fucked up with nursing that guy earlier.' It could also be that Emizel literally almost forgot Theo's name. Theo literally gave him the 'th' sound, it might've just been a bit Charlie was doing or it could've been Theo being AWARE that Emizel almost forgot his name. Or! It could be that in this moment, where Theo was confiding in Emizel about feeling like being the soda guy was all anyone ever saw in him, Emizel said something to the affect of 'well yeah Soda's the fun one.' Emizel doesn't think before he speaks and literally has a 1 in empathy. Just because he loves Theo doesn't mean he's not gonna blunder into being a complete and utter asshole to him. I'd hazard to say Emizel accidentally being an ass to people he cares about is a running theme).

But also all of that might come down to Charlie still getting the character down. Or, because I've theorized before that Theo might not've been supposed to survive the first Gabriel fight, the little hints of bitterness might've been intentional (even if they were completely improvved and Charlie didn't mean to add that to Theo's character) because Charlie was trying to shove as much character into this character before he was gone, but once it became clear that Theo was going to stick around longer he dropped it. As far as I remember, that bitterness is completely gone in all later interactions we see with Theo. OR! It could be that the bitterness drops because they've both got bigger fish to fry from that point onward, what with Theo's Shilo Incident TM, Emizel's vampirism, the Weylin twins. He doesn't have time to be bitter, he's too busy worrying about losing a cornerstone of his identity or helping his best friend adjust to being a fucking vampire now. And then after he learns to live without soda that basically negates his feelings of inadequacy- like, getting over the idea that he's nothing if he's not the soda guy would be required for him to give up on being the soda guy. And then Emizel would drift back into JUST being a guy to aspire to instead of also being a reminder of Theo's short comings, and then drift even further down into being 'guy who is actually going through it and has to overcome his own demons just like I had to overcome mine'. Like, I think we got to watch Theo slowly start to take Emizel off this pedestal in real time (he still definitely thinks Emizel's hot shit tho. Emizel's his boy, after all.)

Regardless, even if Theo did resent Emizel a little in the beginning, it's so fucking clearly overshadowed by how much he fucking loved him. And like, how could he not? Imagine you're Theo, critically low self esteem, and the literal coolest guy you know fucking LOVES you. Like, Emizel keeps consistently going out of his way to pull Theo up to his level and to treat him as an equal (mostly. Sometimes protectiveness bleeds through, like in his hypothetical fang scenario in ep 1 where he predicts there being five Fangs to fight and he says he can take three and Theo can take two (which in itself is still incredibly kind to Theo. Like, boy, you thought Theo was gonna be able to take out two whole guys? Hell no.) But that could also be chalked up to Emizel just being a cocky ass who wants to show off). Like dude, c'mon. Emizel might be a reminder of everything that Theo's not, but he's also probably Theo's biggest cheerleader. He wholeheartedly thought he was being supportive when he said he thought Theo'd make a great nurse! In all seriousness, though, even if it ultimately discourages him, Theo playing that Smash game against Emizel was at least a little bit of proof of him decidedly not 'staying in his lane,' and Emizel seems to inspire that! Later in that segment he challenges Theo to see which of them can break one of the Fangs kneecaps first! I bet Emizel challenged him to stupid competitions a lot, and that got Theo fired up and competitive in return!

And even when Emizel's not building Theo up, he's still giving Theo special attention, or readily receiving any attention Theo gives him. If nothing else, even at his lowest points that might've made Theo feel cool by association.

On Emizel's part, I think he's like, possibly completely oblivious to any turmoil Theo's going through? Like he thinks Theo's the shit and genuinely sees him as an equal. I'm 99% sure that Theo being his right hand man happened because Theo would've put himself into the role (in episode one before he gets all of his character development he's pretty much always looking to Emizel for what to do, and still more or less does whatever he says up to where I'm at in the series, with refusing to leave the alleyway being the only exception I remember). I think if Theo'd had higher self esteem or been less eager to defer to Emizel, Emizel would've happily gone about his business slotting Theo into more of a partner role. He tells Theo to run from that alleyway because Theo'd taken a fucking devastating hit and Emizel was sure he could handle himself, not because he knows Theo sucks at fighting. He tries to turn Theo into a cool vampire. He convinces Shilo that Theo'll be a valuable asset to raiding the Weylin warehouse and they take Theo with them instead of having him stay behind with the car like Grefgore, despite Theo being the one who actually knows how to drive. He tells Theo about being a vampire even though he keeps it a secret from everyone else, confides in Theo that 'yeah he might absolutely be susceptible to going into a frenzy like Shilo did.'

When you get down to it, Emizel pretty much tells Theo everything he would think is relevant, with two notable exceptions. Maybe three if you count him not telling Theo he has nine lives like a cat but tbh I think he might've just forgot. Or maybe he gets to it later, or maybe he did tell him and I forgot! idk man! But! Those other two things. First off, he like. Pointedly does not tell Theo that he's a prince. Like when they were doing the recap on the way to the Weylin warehouse, there's like. Charlie gives Condi an opening to say it, a little 'is there anything else?' and Emizel just. Doesn't. And the second one is that (at least where I'm at) Emizel never comes clean about bloodbonding Theo. Maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but still. It fits a pattern of Emizel not wanting to admit something that makes him, like, ABOVE Theo somehow. He sees Theo as an equal, and a precious one at that, he doesn't want things to get weird between them because he's literal royalty, and he doesn't want Theo's life to literally revolve around him like it would under a level three blood bond- and doesn't want to admit that he even considered it, even if he did it without really understanding what it was.

And Emizel backing off from ghoulifying Theo after Arthur explains what it actually entails kinda leads into a far more headcanon-y relationship analysis thing so um. Feel free to skip the next paragraph.

So! Like. Why the fuck was Emizel so attached to Theo being Soda. Like he gets over it decently quick, cuz that's his buddy and it's what Theo wants, so like. Whatever. But like, if I'm right about Theo always looking up to Emizel from the moment they met, there might've been some wiggle room between when they first became friends and when Theo became Soda. And like, before Theo became Soda, being Emizel's buddy would probably be the only thing he'd feel he had going for him? Which would've made it even harder for Emizel to get them both on equal footing, and I think that's just... really unappealing to him. Like! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Emizel loves having people kiss up to him and respect him and blah blah blah, I just think Theo being his boy and Emizel treating him like a partner go hand in hand. Either they weren't best friends yet or Emizel was just. Kind of uncomfortable and eager to push Theo into growing into something more than a hypeman. And then the soda incident occurs, and it gives Theo SOMETHING to define himself by, something people like him and know him for that's got nothing to do with Emizel, and maybe the initial soda incident was bad, but having that sense of identity and falling into what kind've feels like a class clown kinda role might've helped get Theo over his self esteem issues long enough for Emizel to go 'oh you're actually super cool. sweet.' and then blah blah blah they get super close like they are in canon. And then whenever Theo seems like he's backsliding into what he was before the soda incident, Emizel tries to course correct not because he doesn't think Theo's any fun without soda, but because he's made the mental connection that Soda without soda turns into less of a best friend and more of a follower, which as stated before he probably really doesn't want from Theo specifically. but idk. pure conjecture here.

Anyways, above all else, Theo's important to Emizel. I really, really like the idea that Theo was supposed to be like a brother to him (which. Again pointing at my 'Theo was supposed to die in episode 1' theory, can you IMAGINE the angst Emizel could've had about that? Lose one brother and then someone else claiming to be your brother shows up? It would've felt like some hellish, not-worth-it trade. Like a betrayal, like accepting Shilo might mean replacing Theo, and how could he ever?)

And Emizel's important to Theo! But unlike Emizel (who I'm 99% sure is gonna have some kinda moment with Theo but I genuinely cannot see him loving Theo in any other way than the way he does now), Theo has the bonus of having his view of Emizel have a clear trajectory to evolve over the course of the campaign. Like I said, he seems to be getting more confidence in himself and like, not gonna get into the stuff I've had spoiled beyond episode 9 but it seems like Theo's gonna get a lot more comfortable being a proper leader and not just a number two. He's gonna have an easier time seeing Emizel as an equal, and I think that's fucking awesome!

I could be completely off base, but if I never watch another episode then I'll never be proven wrong. So. Ya know.

[ohno-the-sun]

Blah more back burner stuff cause I haven’t had time to draw this week

Had an idea for a Luca type au where like they are mermaids but can look human on land and blah blah blah

Self indulgence abound

Lol supposed to go along with these

Merm designs

Baby sun

the fic (don't read the tags if you don't want spoilers)

[vv-ispy]

Ships that could have worked out if it wasn't for one (1) thing

[moonstruckhaze]

during work yesterday I had the thought that Satoko is the more likely sibling to want kids, and then the image of early-to-mid 20s Sasaki hanging out with said kid would not leave my mind...

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[neige-leblanche]

i honestly think the stress of my job is bad for my health tbh

[foxgloveinspace]

I mean this in the nicest way possible: I wish I was a better friend.

[midnight-mismanagement]

Sometimes I wonder over Thomas Barrow’s extreme job insecurity and paranoia in season 4 and then I remember that the only reason he has a job by this point is because of soap and cricket.

[bangcakes]

.

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

..

[rosicheeks]

😔

[catdemontraphouse]

Girl why am I getting depressed because of a possible but possibly not slight by a work buddy like… it ain’t that deep who cares😞I’m better than this man. I have a great family and great friends who tolerate and appreciate me for who I am and they know I’m loud and weird and it’s okay. Idk now I’m just worried this person I’m close with at work like what if they actually don’t like me…that’s awkward cuz we have to interact like daily. I don’t ever like to feel like I’m forcing myself on people idk.

Oh well who gives a shit that’s work nobody likes it and nobody has a choice lol! U can’t pick u coworkers at least I’m not an arsehole 😽