#also god yoga is so good for my mental health

[pynkhues]

Guys, I successfully did the koundinyasana pose in yoga for the first time this morning 😭 That’s this pose:

I could only hold it for about four seconds, and only on my right side (my left side was like ‘absolutely not, and frankly I’m offended you’d even ask’ lmao), but! It’s so exciting!

[bunniekittiee]

Bi-Han x Fem. Reader (as well as general headcanons)

Alright alright the Bi-Han headcanons was a success so ykw I’ll bless you all again. Also this is my depiction of Bi-Han so if you think I can tweak it and make it better then by all means let me know!

CW: mentions of eating problems, anxiety, illness, chronic illness, a little nsfw, nothing too crazy

Hair combing is an intimate ordeal.

He does not let anyone else touch his hair besides himself and you. He trusts you completely to comb his hair and even put it up for him.

He thinks you do it better than him, but he can manage it himself if needed.

He sighs with relief when his hair is let down, feeling his s/o’s fingers gently massage his aching scalp. It feels so good to him, he loves it.

Bi-Han does like the quietness. Especially after a long day of Grandmaster duties and irritation.

So if it is quiet during this time, he can close his eyes and almost fall asleep as you caress his hair and take care of him.

Sometimes he has fallen asleep when you are doing this.

If you were to ask Bi-Han to bathe together, he would silently go insane for a second and then agree.

Despite seeing you naked more than often, it still gives him butterflies in different scenarios that isn’t inherently sexual. Such as bathing.

He thinks you are beautiful, do not ever be negative about yourself around Bi-Han because he will immediately worry.

If you are worried about gaining weight, he is already overthinking that you will stop eating.

So instead, Bi-Han gently encourages you to train with the other Lin Kuei if you feel that you want to lose weight or prevent yourself from gaining weight.

No, he does not think you are fat at all, do not twist his words.

But Bi-Han is the type of man to give you solutions to help you but not in a rude way.

He just tries to encourage and give you options.

He will also suggest yoga with Kuai Liang. Kuai Liang usually meditates, but he will divulge himself in yoga for you if you are interested.

He does not like to see you sad or upset about your self image. It makes him feel helpless.

Bi-Han can handle a physical threat because he can eliminate it, but when it is a mental threat such as self image issues, depression, etc., Bi-Han finds himself unable to see straight.

Out of his brothers, I see Bi-Han struggling with some anxiety.

Like I said in my previous headcanons, Bi-Han worries for his s/o because she is his weakness. If anyone were to take her away from him, he would practically engulf everything in a blizzard.

I see Bi-Han having anxiety about his brothers as well, whether they are safe or going to be okay.

As much as Bi-Han shuns Smoke, he still worries for him. Smoke is the ‘baby’ of them all, and if he were to see him in any form of pain, he is already wanting to murder the person who inflicted it upon him.

That being said, if you have any sort of health issues that will literally send Bi-Han over the edge.

He is constantly having the medics check you over and he will be riddled with so much anxiety he will stop eating and sleeping well.

God forbid you have a chronic illness or anything at all, at that point Bi-Han will just have an aneurysm.

As tough as his exterior is, Bi-Han can be sensitive.

Please do not call him names, he doesn’t even do that to you and it will hurt his feelings.

He will distance himself and feel melancholy until you apologize. He doesn’t like it when you are rude or mean to him.

As I mentioned in my other previous headcanons, he does get snappy himself so he knows that he is a bit of a hypocrite.

If you were to communicate your feelings to him, whether it is your frustrations, sadness, or anger, he will understand and try his best to relax you and make you feel better.

You do the same for him, so it’s time that he repays that favor.

Bi-Han can be extremely busy with his duties and he knows you hate being cooped up for so long.

So he will allow Smoke and Kuai Liang to take you out, whether that’s for a walk or to Madame Bo’s, Bi-Han just wants to make sure you are happy.

I don’t know where people got the “jealous of my brothers being around my s/o” belief from, but Bi-Han trusts his brothers completely.

He has to, they go into battle and on quests together, they have to deeply trust each other and have a strong bond with one another.

So he lets his brothers take you out, he does not get jealous of that. They would never do anything to you, and Bi-Han knows it is completely out of character for them to do anything in the first place.

So yes, he lets you go out with his brothers and enjoy your time together when he is busy.

Again, he knows you get cooped up and he wants you to have some freedom.

His brothers love that you have somewhat changed Bi-Han but in a good way.

He is somewhat nicer to Smoke and refrains from telling him he is not part of their family. Last time he did, you gave him the absolute worst glare that even Kuai Liang felt his stomach turn.

Bi-Han is gentle as possible with you. His hands have killed and hurt many, he would hate to inflict the same pain on you.

You are like a flower to him, a delicate and precious lively being.

You have softened Bi-Han in many ways, and many appreciate what you have done.

[cherry-pop-elf]

Weasley Siblings Helping You Lose Weight

AN: I suffer a binge eating disorder, inflected from my mother. I also suffer with medical issues and medication that genuinely have made things so difficult. My mom refuses to help, so sometimes you just gotta be your own cheerleader. Call me crazy, but imagining George Weasley supporting me is what keeps me going sometimes. Maybe this can helps others in my shoes to. It’s scary, and isolating, but hey. I’m your cheerleader to!

Warnings: Binge eating disorder, weight loss, sensitive topic matter with food, diet culture, it’s just a trigger warning of weight topics in general

William ‘Bill’

As the eldest sibling he’s had to try and be the best influence. He’s had to try and make sure his younger siblings ate and stayed health. Third parent syndrome. So he knows that this will be a journey, but one he’s happy to help with. Given his curse breaking job he often needs to keep himself in a very healthy mental space. So he would be more than happy to drag you in with yoga, tai chi, and simple mental work outs like that. It’s simple, but easy on the joints. A important part of weight loss is doing things that are enjoyable. Makes you want to do them more. His focus on mental health is very important, and often ignored when weight loss is involved. So this important step is going to make the journey so much easier. Slower? Maybe. But slower means it’ll STAY off easier. His focus on mental health is going to be a god send

Charlie

Since he works with dragons he knows how important it is to keep healthy. He’s constantly doing Manuel labor, and eats a pretty heavy diet of protein. This also means he’s going to be a great cheerleader to help you. Knowing all kinds of great work outs to help you, and finding useful tasks for you to do at the sanctuary. Not to mention he knows how to cook, and is more than happy to show you how as well. He is also a nice reminder that you can still be healthy will looking chubby. He’s made of heavy muscle. Muscle isn’t tense twenty four seven. That squishy is deadly. It’ll make losing weight a bit scary though. You’ll be developing muscle as you lose weight, so the number on the scale won’t really move. Don’t worry. Muscle burns a lot since you need a lot of calories to keep it. You are in safe hands. You need to trust the process. It takes time. You’ll do it! Charlie knows it!

Percy

He’s not a jock. He doesn’t work out like crazy. Especially not like his siblings. But he does know how to cook. Every Weasley does. Eating healthier and cleaner is exteremly important. Most of weight loss relies on being under a calorie number. That’s, unfortunately, the harder parts to. So Percy will be more than happy to do a bunch of reading on the topic. To do his best to figure out the best meals for the day. To help trade out snacks for healthier alternatives. It’ll also give him a good excuse to try and repair the bond with his family. Practicing and learning family recipes. That’s so nice

Fred & George

They run a joke shop full of candy, sweets, and pastries. Needless to say it’s a binge eaters worst nightmare. That’s going to cause so many trials and tribulation. The smells and scents, the new recipes, it’s just hell. They want to help so much, but they are shop owners. Not like they just take it all off the shelves. It’s truly going to be a test that you will fail, many times, but they will be there to pick up the pieces. They’ll be there for every crying session you have after you finish off so much that you feel inhuman. They’ll even use this as an excuse to try and invent new sweets that can be healthier. Children deserve to eat healthier too. Some kids are victims of obesity and need help. Diet culture makes them think they are bigger than they actually are. So to have healthier sweet alternatives helps everyone. Your struggles will be what help kids feel better. They’ll be more than happy to find alternatives to help. You won’t be treated as ‘different’ for needing to diet. You won’t feel like a burden because you need to eat different. Being a kid is being happy and whimsical. And by god they will help you make eating fun again! And help you through that toxic relationship with it!

Ron

He can be the one person that understands the relationship dynamic of food. Sure he has a high metabolism, and is constantly working out, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t know how eating can just make everything feel better. Food can feel good, but it can also feel so damn bad. He knows that feeling. He knows that pain. He knows that horrible dance. He gets it, and knows it’s not as easy as just ‘eating less’ as everyone says. It’s not that easy. He knows. He knows you are trying your damn best, and he’s going to remind you that you have made successful steps. That because you relapse doesn’t make you any less of a person. Everyone falls down. The fact you get up again is what matters. He gets it, and will help you. You two can do it. TOGETHER

Ginny

As the youngest she’s seen her siblings trial and tribulations. As the saying goes ‘the oldest does everything the youngest shouldn’t’ and learns not to do that. She also over all has more life experience than people give her credit for. She understands that you are struggling, and is more than happy to help. Have you train with her before her quidditch seasons, and just try and make things fun. Just like her siblings ya gotta make it fun. She’s got that high energy spirit that will help you stay active. Morning runs, yoga, dancing, she has an energetic lifestyle that will help you be more active. Even if you both stay home all day. Her energy is infectious, and it’ll help motivate you to move more. She’s got your back, and has so many health programs to let you use. She’s a professional quidditch player. Everyone needs a specific diet plan for their needs. Especially since everyone works a different part. A seeker needs a different diet compared to a beater. She’s gonna help you, and her quidditch team has your back all the same. You won’t face this alone

[girlbloggercher]

how to become your best version

i already have a post on becoming your best self, but i wanted to go a little more in depth.

1. visualize

visualize what your best version looks like. when i say this, i don't mean what their nose looks like. how long their nails are, etc. i mean their fashion, their routine, and their life.

2. get closer to your god

this is optional, of course. if you're an atheist, good for you. but if you're not, get more in touch with your spirituality. study whatever your religious book is. learn the sins. etc.

3. cut out all negativity from your life

cut off toxic friends. stop giving in to people who just want to see you fall. block accounts that make you feel bad. don't text your ex, because they're your ex for a reason. don't consume media that romanticizes bad things (sh, mental illness, abuse, etc.). also, [kinda NSFT] stop watching porn. i understand you might need to "get off". but if you can't control it, atleast make sure it's not torture or degrading porn.

4. educate yourself

read articles. study subjects that you know your teacher will cover soon. read. watch documentaries. because at the end of the day, attractiveness can only get you so far. but intelligence can get you farther.

5. focus on your health

make sure you eat healthier, more nutritious foods. workout. even if it's calm. like pilates or yoga. a lot or people don't mention this, but take care of your mental health too. this comes from someone who gets terribly depressed atleast once a week. go to therapy. but if it's too expensive (because it's definitely not cheap!), there are alternatives: meditating, journaling, and doing other different exercises for your mental health(especially if you deal with things like grief).

6. have pamper days

i know that atleast 60% of my posts talk about self-care and what not, but its so beneficial and important! self-care and pampering don't consist of anything specific. whatever makes you feel good. though it does exclude smoking, heavy drinking, and anything else that makes you feel good, but is actually dangerous.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent / medical

So I saw the back specialist today. After being scared shitless all last night, writing out my meticulous timeline of events that injured my back, and crying, and not sleeping well. I got questioned, but not questioned as much as I was prepared for. I got prodded, but not as badly as I was expecting.

The result? It's nothing operable, so that's good news. But the bad news? It's probably my fibromyalgia (with a dash of my arthritis). Lmao. I know it's a whole-ass medical condition, but being told that, felt like being told I'm just being a pussy and not steeling myself against the pain well enough. You'd think I would understand by now, considering I've been diagnosed for like 18/19 years, but it still feels insulting to be told like, "You have pain. That's all."

Also, the doctor: "You don't need to see me! Yay!"

Felt like a whole waste of time.

I'm also really upset because no medication I've ever taken has helped my fibromyalgia except painkillers. And that's an extremely hard medication to get a doctor to prescribe long-term, despite the fact that I have never abused them. (It was easier before like 2017ish).

As of January 2024, I had spent the past 5 years of my life suffering on every type of anti-depressants for my depression, and none of them helped. Anti-depressants are what doctors use to treat fibromyalgia. Like, literally the only recommended medication treatment. And I legit felt SO MUCH WORSE both in terms of mental health and pain while I was on anti-depressants. It was constant brain fog and pain and inability to function and fatigue, spending money irresponsibly and binge eating. As soon as I quit taking anti-depressants (during a different health disaster, going thru anti-depressant withdrawals during the hardest endometriosis flare up of my life), I started feeling a lot better and a lot more lucid and present in my life. I was able to start exercising again and being more productive. I started drawing again after like 5 years of a mental block preventing me from doing so. It was like anti-depressants gave me a Debuff and I just completely stalled while on them, and once I stopped I was able to go again.

So. I'm fucking pissed. Like, I'm glad I don't need surgery. But this means I have to live with my inability to walk normally and inability to stand for a reasonable amount of time. Like, how the fuck am I supposed to do anything at all???? I have suffered and basically been completely out of commission this whole year since the first injury started in MAY. AND IT'S NOW DECEMBER.

God, I don't know what I'm gonna do. I fucking hate getting hot-potatoed around by doctors. No one wants to treat me because my body doesn't respond the way it's supposed to, and I feel like my fibromyalgia is just being used as a scapegoat. I still can't walk and move the way I used to, and sitting in a car is unbearable on my back. I've never had this happen since getting diagnosed with fibro at age 12/13.

((Actually... now that I think about it, I was on crutches for fibro twice during high school with my knee problems. But I don't think it lasted this long before. Fuck. Maybe it really is fibro. But I already had a tooth problem dismissed as fibro, and 2 years later now I was right that the tooth DID have a problem that's finally showing now, and I'm gonna need tooth surgery now to fix it soon. So idk. Maybe 2 years from now my back problem will finally show something mechanically wrong on the xray and I can say, 'I told you so.' Maybe it'll get better in a few more months. Idk.))

"Try yoga and swimming." THOSE ARE NOT COVERED BY INSURANCE, AND EVEN IF THOSE WERE COVERED IT WOULD NOT BE COVERED IN MY TOWN. I didn't even get to explain how I was forcing myself to exercise through the pain every day, up until the 3rd time I injured the same spot. The exercise did not help the pain. And I was genuinely exercising, full workouts, just at an extremely slow pace. It never stopped being painful, even as I built muscle.

I still have physical therapy, but like, physical therapy isn't a cure. It might be helping, but I'm still in extreme pain, and I still can't touch one spot on my back.

Fuck my life, man. I need to fucking cry, but I'm all crude out.

[becomingawifey]

Becoming a Wife: Chapter 1

Self-care

One of the most important pillars that every woman must learn to nurture and protect is her own self-care. Self-care involves cultivating oneself both inside and out.

In every woman’s life, as magical beings that we are, we must take care of our health: physical, emotional, and spiritual.

Physical Health: Considering that throughout a woman’s life, we go through hormonal and physical changes, it is important to stay in shape, as our body is connected to both our mind and spirit. When it comes to physical health, being in shape will consequently reflect in our mental and emotional well-being as well: improved mood, self-esteem, better digestive health, vitality, and enhanced focus.

How I will do: The way I will cultivate this is through strength exercises, stretching, and Pilates (once a week).

Emotional Health: This one is prettyyy obvious. Every woman wants a healthy emotional balance and peace of mind. (At least me, almost most of the time.)

-Self-awareness and acceptance: Take time to understand your emotions and accept both your strengths and vulnerabilities. Self-acceptance is key to a healthy emotional life.

-Stress management: Practice relaxation techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or yoga. These help reduce anxiety and maintain a calm mind.

-Healthy relationships: Surround yourself with people who support you, understand you, and make you feel good. Building quality relationships based on respect and communication is essential for emotional well-being.

How I will do: I’ll start with a gratitude journal. I am willing to write daily about my thoughts and what I am grateful for everyday.

Spiritual Health: (in my case Catholic)

Spiritual health also involves trusting in God at all times, especially in difficult moments. Learning to surrender and accept His will brings you serenity and a deep sense of peace.

In summary, cultivating your Catholic spiritual health is an ongoing process that involves prayer, reading the Scriptures, the sacraments, and living according to Christian values. As you strengthen your relationship with God and others, your spirit will grow, and you will find more peace and purpose in your life.

How I will do: In my case, my religion is Catholic. I am starting again and reconnecting with God after a period where I felt distant from Him, and as a result, I didn’t feel the same peace in my life as before—whether due to the daily stress, anxiety, or my mental struggles that only lead to living in an automatic routine, leaving no space for the daily well-being I so long for. Therefore, once again, I seek to connect with God's faith on my journey to becoming a future wife.

Thank you for reading. 🤍

[misseviehyde]

BITCHI-YOGA

College girl Mia knew it was unhealthy to be so overweight and unfit, but she had a very slow metabolism and couldn’t seem to drop weight whatever she tried. She wanted to shed some pounds, not because of the bullies at school - but for her own health benefit and peace of mind. Despite the difficulty she was experiencing, she was a very determined person and she refused to give up.

Mia had tried various gyms, fitness classes and diets - but nothing seemed to work. Then one day she was looking through the exercise section at the local library when she found a book on “Bitchi-Yoga,” a very rare form of Yoga that claimed to allow complete body and mind control for the user.

Mia took the book home and began to read it, the information was fascinating and almost drew her in hypnotically:

New Practitioner. Soon you will achieve total control of your life and become the person you need to be. To achieve the desired effects - you must undergo both a mental and a physical change. The exercises and positions shown in this book unlock powerful mystical energies that flood the body with energy that can be directed to make you a new person. This energy will be controlled by your new persona and you will become a Bitchi-Yoga master.

Mia frowned. She wasn’t sure she wanted a new persona, she just wanted to lose some weight. Still it couldn’t hurt to read on a little.

Visualise the woman you hate and dislike the most. The woman that possesses the attributes and skills so unlike your own that you are jealous and envious of her. Think of the hottest, most desired, most powerful woman you know.

Mia’s mind immediately jumped to her principle bully Summer. The rich and spoiled princess bitch who was the most popular girl at college and constantly mocked and teased Mia for being fat and overweight. With her stupid designer outfits and party girl life style - she was everything that Mia hated. She was also super skinny and flexible, apparently she was amazing at sex too. She had everything that Mia didn’t.

Think of her and imagine her in your mind. Know now that this is the woman you really want to be. Through Bitchi-Yoga you can become like this woman. You must embrace your jealousy and let it corrupt you, adopting the persona of this woman in order to become better. You must become like her and eventually be better than her. It will feel so good.

“Noooooo, wait,” groaned Mia as her head span. “That isn’t what I want. I don’t want to be like Summer.” She tried to look away from the book but her eyes seemed magnetically drawn to the page and she couldn’t look away.

“Oh my God, why can’t I stop thinking about that bitch?”

As you fall deeper into the first stages of Bitchi-Yoga, you will begin to accept your corruption. Think of how good it would feel to be like the woman you most hate. You are probably jealous of her popularity, her looks and her sex appeal. You now want to be like her, you want to talk and dress and fuck like her. Soon you will be just like her. Bitchi-Yoga will allow you to corrupt yourself and make yourself into the perfect bitch that you now long to be.

Mia moaned. Her head was suddenly full of thoughts of being like Summer. Of having every eye on her, of being beautiful; of having guys want her and being an all powerful bitch.

“Ohhh fuck, yes; I want to be like Summer,” she moaned helplessly as the delicious thought of becoming an evil slut overwhelmed her innocent mind.

“No, what’s wrong with me? Uuuuuhhh I have to stop;” but Mia couldn’t. She was too far under the control of the evil book now and there was a growing excitement inside her own mind at corrupting herself into a bad girl.

Begin to perform the positions shown in the book. As you stretch and exercise you will begin to transform. Your old body and mind will be destroyed and you will become a new person - a better person. Let go of your innocence and embrace the corruption that will make you a Goddess.

Mia placed the book down carefully and her eyes still on the pages started to stretch as indicated. She moaned as she felt a build up of evil energy crackling around her fat body and her skin began to ripple and tighten.

“OHHHHH fuck - it’s transforming me, I’m ahhhhh becoming a bitch - OHHHH FUCK!”

Bones snapped and popped and fat shed away as Mia groaned in ecstasy and her old fat body began to transform into something far more delicious.

“Uuuuh, ohhhh yesssss! Get rid of that fucking fat and make me into a skinny bitch,” she giggled madly as her voice rose into a bitchy whine and her limbs became thinner and more elegant. Her rib-cage was now visible on her toned torso as her cheekbones rose to give her a haughty bitchy appearance and her flabby clothes magically transformed to match her new body - tightening sexily around her.

Mia moaned as she contorted her body into position after position, each one accelerating her transformation and corrupting her mind. She began to understand that all that mattered was looking beautiful and being popular. Having the power to break boys hearts and get whatever she wanted was all she needed.

“YES, make me into a fucking bad bitch, I LOVE IT,” she purred, her new tight pussy dripping wet as she completed the instructions on the page and her transformation into a skinny manipulative blonde was complete.

Standing up Mia stroked her thin, flexible body in delight. She was a new woman at last and there wasn’t even a stretch mark in sight. The evil yoga had completely corrupted her. She looked even hotter than Summer now and she felt so evil and wicked. There was a small part of her mind that was trying to fight the new bitch she had become, but it was so small and pathetic the new Mia was easily able to repress it.

I’m in charge now you stupid fat bitch, you’re me now and you love it. Give in and enjoy being a tight horny bitch.

Mia giggled as she felt her breasts and pussy, she couldn’t wait to try them out, she was a slut now and it felt soooooo good.

“Ahhh, I’ve never felt so alive. Being bad definitely suits me.”

Picking up the book, Mia continued to read avidly. She wanted to learn if she could become even more powerful and slutty somehow - she had a hunger and a lust for sex and power that needed to be filled.

The book didn’t disapoint.

Your first session of Bitchi-Yoga is complete. You will now be able to follow the more advanced sessions in order to master controlling others and making them do whatever you want. Through Bitchi-Yoga you will eventually have complete control over your own life and everyone else’s. Section two deals with using sexual positions to dominate another person. For this you will need a male partner of your choice.

Mia giggled - dominating boys sounded pretty fun. This body was still a virgins body, but she could soon see to that. In fact she had an idea of exactly what to do next.

Summer’s hot boyfriend Morgan lived a few doors down he was sure to be easy prey to her new body and mind.

Stopping off at the fitness store to buy some new clothes, trainers and a portable fitness mat, Mia walked over and knocked on his door. Morgan’s eyes lit up as he opened the door to see the incredible hottie on his door-step.

“Uhhh, can I help you?”

“Ohhhh like hi! I’m Mia and I’m giving out like free Yoga lessons and demonstrations to promote my Personal Trainer business. Would you be like interested in a demo?”

Morgan grinned, damn right he’d be interested in a demo.

“Sure, come in. Mia huh? Cute name - there’s some fat bitch lives up the street called Mia, but she’s nothing like you. You’re the hottest girl I ever saw... ummm except for my girlfriend Summer of course.”

Laying down her mat, Mia smiled. Morgan was clearly enraptured with her. He still had some loyalty to Summer, but once she began the positions the Bitchi-Yoga book had taught her, that wouldn’t matter.

The positions shown here allow you to seduce any man and enslave him to your pussy. Once he fucks you, he will become your obsessed lover and do anything for you. He will shower you with money, gifts and clothes & worship the ground you walk on. Use them to make any man you want yours

Mia grinned. Making Morgan into her boyfriend would be a just payback for all the years of bullying Summer had subjected her to. Besides, he was hot, rich and had a big cock - perfect boyfriend material.

“Just relax and watch me,” purred Mia soothingly as she began to perform her Bitchi-Yoga poses. As she stretched and positioned her lithe blonde body, Morgan’s dick began to get hard. A horny haze overcame him and he began to feel a desire to fuck Mia grow and grow. He had never wanted to fuck a slut as much as this sexy bitch and the thought of cheating on Summer and banging this incredible sexpot was suddenly overwhelming.

“I call this position, the ‘blowjob’ position,” giggled Mia as she went to her knees and opened her wet pink mouth. “Why don’t you join in and help me with these poses; I think we know you want to.”

Morgan stood up and Mia helped slide his pants down. His dick sprang out and with a moan he slid it between her lips. She slurped eagerly on his cock. She had never sucked cock before, but her new body was saturated with sluttiness and it came naturally to her.

“Mmmmmmhhhh, your cock tastes so good and it’s soooooo big,” moaned Mia as she worshiped his dick.

“You have the perfect equipment to help me with the next pose - downwards doggy-fuck. Are you ready baby?”

Mia moaned as she positioned herself appropriately and slid down her leggings to give access to her glistening slit. Morgan grabbed her hips and impatiently slid his big dick into her tight wet pussy. He needed to be inside her so badly. Mia gasped as he went deeper and deeper, taking her virginity at last. It hurt a little at first, but as he started to fuck her it began to feel really good. She was finally becoming a slut and she loved it.

“Damn, you’re a virgin your pussy is so tight, I think I’m in love with you,” groaned Morgan as he fell deeper and deeper under Mia’s spell.

"Yes Morgan, fuck me I love it,” giggled Mia as her lover fucked her good and she fully embraced her role as a teasing, tempting homewrecker. No man would be safe from her now she had this body and the Bitchi-Yoga techniques to steal any man she wanted.

Soon Mia was riding on top of Morgan as he helplessly bucked and moaned beneath her, completely under the control of her pussy and perfect sexual techniques. As she orgasmed repeatedly and bounced on his dick, Mia was already wondering what other wicked secrets the book could teach her. She was determined to fully master every element of Bitchi-Yoga and become a total slut - the next few weeks were going to be lots of fun and no one was going to stand in her way.

Mia was fit now... and she was never looking back.

[bonesandthebees]

ive been both really busy and also not? hahah but ive been good!! i've been mostly working. today was crazy actually, someone walked into the vet with a bearded lizard?? that they found ?? at the local park?? someone had just abandoned their lizard there ig which was really sad but im glad someone found it and was able to help it!! also the person who found it was a vet tech themselves who used to have bearded lizards so that's good hahahah they were v prepared

our doctor unfortunately doesn't take any exotics so we had to send them to a diff vet but it was cool to see the lizard, he was very sweet and friendly EUEUUEUE

but yeah other than work? mostly just been writing which has been super nice. this is the first year im properly tackling whumptober!! normally i just. pick and choose my fav prompts LMAOO but this year im actually writing for each prompt every day and i've done all 7 days so far!! im super proud of myself rahshshs

i went to my first social dance a couple weekends ago!! that was super funn

i cannot remember if i told you, but i started doing west coast swing lessons!!! since i took a gap year of school while waiting to apply for the vet tech program, i was like "welp i need some sort of hobby that gets me out of the house" so i didnt stew in bad mental health n stuff and i decided to try dance! i'd seen vids of it on my youtube shorts a lot and it always looked so... freeing. and i thought doing something that involved physical activity would be a good idea too since exercise is good for mental health!!

and woww i love it way more than i was expecting HAHHAHASDKFJJK it's so so fun and it really does feel like flying (when you do it with an experienced lead lol, so not always but the times where it's happened i cherish v much <3) and the people?? are all so nice???? like wow i was a bit nervous when i first started but everyone is so welcoming and understanding and super fun to talk to and it's a very accepting environment of queer ppl and i just RAHSHS ITS SOOO LOVELY BEE OH MY GOSHH

but yeah!! so ive been doing that sinceee march but i had yet to go to an actual dance, i'd only done lessons bc i was really nervous lol but also bc its on the weekends and thats when i go visit my mom so its hard to find time. but i finally decided to go no matter what last time (which yeah. almost canceled bc i ended up having two other meetups that day?? it was busy) and im really glad i went it was super fun.

just hoping i can convince one of my friends to go with me one day lol

oh no I'm so sad that someone abandoned their beardie :((( thank god someone found it though and wanted to make sure it was okay. so many people would just leave it so that little guy got lucky with that at least. I love bearded dragons, one of my teachers in high school had one she named Mushu and she would let him just run around the room during class sometimes. he was adorable.

ooooo I hope you're having fun with whumptober!!! you're stronger than me I've never attempted to do all the prompts for something like that. I struggle so much already with keeping things short and I also don't do great with prompts but I admire everyone who can dedicate themselves to that. it's such good writing practice as well

oh that class sounds lovely. tbh it really shows you have a LOT of self awareness to recognize that not only do you need something to get you out of the house, but taking the steps to sign up for a class with physical activity for your mental health. that's really great and you're going to thank yourself later for putting yourself out there like that. and that sounds so much fun!!! manifesting you get one of your friends to join you one day

(also this reminds me I really need to get back in the habit of going to my yoga and other exercise classes. I fell out of it after I got back from my europe trip this summer so I need to get my ass in gear again)

[watch-my-cosmic-death]

This sounds very cheesy, but starting to go running really changed my life. Like, sure, my mental health and physical health aren’t great still and arguably I have an idea of why that is, but in other aspects. When I first started running, I would cry every single night for weeks, it helps regulate my emotions by releasing them when I can’t do that, I still struggle mentally with them but my body doesn’t hold them for me anymore. Sleeping, oh my godddddd, not only do I sleep every night but it’s good fucking sleep. I got into yoga from running, stretching feels great and is really good for recovery and I got my first injury a week ago- I couldn’t run and was going insane because of it, I started yoga and fell in love with connecting softly with my body. Body connection too! I’ve had dissociation issues since I was little, and although this doesn’t make it go away, it sure as fuck helps me realise I have a body. I haven’t had back or knee pains since running and yoga, which is so beautiful because thank god! It makes me proud of myself, because I do it for me, at the end of a run I’m like damn “tell me a year ago I’d be outside running in shorts and I’d laugh in your face” but also just the proud feeling I get from being physically exhausted and dripping in sweat. There are so many other ways running has helped me, just moving my body in general, all this to say, I went on my first nature run today! I ran through the fields and a small forest walk (my favourite walk near me) and I ran up a fucking hill (r.i.p) I did that! Me! And I fucking loved it. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, spring in full effect, everything was fucking perfect. It’s also the longest run I’ve done so far because I didn’t realise how long I went for lmfao

[mindfullofyoga]

The story of Hanuman is the story of ourselves

The word Bhakti means devotion. It is the path of the heart. Svaha Yoga is actually a really ‘Bhaktified’ yoga community I would say. Practises that are part of the Bhakti path are; chanting kirtan and puja (offering) but we can also express Bhakti in dynamic practical ways such as showing kindness to others, caring for the environment and its inhabitants. By caring and trying to see all as sacred we empty ourselves of judgement and meet all as no different, no less, no more than ourselves. 

The monkey-god Hanuman is known as “the Greatest Bhakta’’.  Hanuman teaches us about the transformative power of love. When we love others, we step outside of our isolated selves and into a deeper relationship with those around us. As we love – we discover a part in ourselves that is connected, courageous, and capable of far more than we ever thought possible. So therefore Hanuman is also associated of power and courage. 

Hanuman is not a monkey for nothing. The monkey is a symbol for the ‘monkey mind’: The mind that is restless and uncontrollable. But through training, the mind can be tamed. Through spiritual practise and effort - We align thoughts, words and actions with a higher purpose. We become more attracted to the idea of contributing to the welfare of others and living a life of  kindness and service on our own path to freedom.  

The mind that worries, stresses and thinks in loops takes up a lot of our energy. It’s just constantly distracted, going here and there. Our collective addiction to our mobile phones can be seen as an extension of that distracted mind. Have you ever felt depleted after a day off physically not doing anything? It’s that mental depletion lots of us are familiar with. There is a saying: ‘’Where  attention goes energy flows’’. So when all attention goes to those worries and thoughts, it takes up so much energy. By quieting and steadying the mind through the practise of Yoga, we can start to actually feel and sense the body. Energy can start to move through the whole system, to nourish and heal the body. That is the first shift that can be felt through the practise of Yoga: a sense of quietness in the mind and health in the body. When this energy is freed up and the body returns back to its natural state of health and balance, this movement of energy can even take us back to its’ original source and we can rest in deeper states of stillness.

Hanuman is one of the greatest heroes in yogic mythology and you can read about him in the Ramayana. The Ramayana can be red through many lenses. You might read it as a beautiful story or as an inspiration in terms of virtue and good conduct. But, same with the Bible or the Koran or other holy scriptures, we can also read it through a different lens. We can read it as a mirror of our psychological and spiritual development. For me, then all a sudden it becomes a living truth that I can sense in my own system, my own body, happening right now at this very moment. So here it comes:

‘Ra’ means light, ‘Ma’ means within me, in my heart. So, Rama means the light within me. Rama was born to Dasharath & Kousalya. Dasharath means the ‘Ten Chariots’. The ‘Ten Chariots’ symbolize the five senses (seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, smelling) & five organs of action (hands, feet, speech, excretory and reproductive organs). Kousalya means ‘Skill’. So, the skillfull rider of the ten chariots can give birth to Ram. Or, when my senses are controlled and my actions purified, radiance is born within me. Rama was born in Ayodhya. Ayodhya means ‘a place where no war can happen’. When there is no conflict in my mind, then radiance can down. 

And let’s go on a little bit more: The soul is Rama, The mind is Sita, The breath or life-force (Prana) is Hanuman, the awareness is Laxman (the brother of Ram) and the ego is Ravana (the demon king that abducts Sita). Now here it comes: When my mind (Sita),is stolen by my ego (Ravana), then the soul (Rama) gets restless and longs for union with my mind and my mind longs for union with the soul. Now the soul (Rama) cannot reach my mind (Sita) on its own. It has to take the help of the breath — Prana (Hanuman). With the help of the breath (Hanuman) & awareness (Laxman), my mind (Sita) gets reunited with the soul (Rama) and my ego (Ravana) surrenders.

Still following? We can view the Ramayana as an eternal phenomenon happening all the time, in our own system! Now if we do so, how can we practically apply that in our day to day life? 

I was watching a very intimate talk on the meaning of hanuman to our western society by Ram Dass. When he was already very ill, not long before he died. And he mentioned something so beautiful: 

‘’If the world is full of blackness and you feel the strong urge to do something about it. ‘Stop there for a moment’. Delve into your being, make contact with the breath and with your heart. First be and then do. Being is ‘Ram’ inside of us. When we connect with being we can radiate love, compassion, peace and joy. Just radiate. Rub off your connection with that inner being. That ís helping society. Lighten up the space around you. That light is spiritual light. Become a mirror to others to let them recognise being within them. First be, then do.’’

We encounter so many people and situations every day. And every time life asks of us that shift of perception that Ram Dass describes. That slowing down, that meeting situations in our life with openness, instead of through the lens of our own narrowed view. It’s seems to me that life is not so much about what comes to us, but about how we are with what comes to us. So next time you are in an argument with your lover or your boss or your child or whomever. Are you able to widen your perspective? Can you step into the others shoes and shift back to your own, even be in all the shoes at the same time? Can you take a breath, quiet the mind, open the heart and let action happen from that place of openness.

When Rama asks Hanuman, “How do you look upon me?” hanuman replies: “When I believe I am the body, then I am your faithful servant. When I know I am the soul, I know myself to be a spark of your eternal Light. And when I have the vision of truth, you and I, my Lord, are one and the same.”

So much is said in this one sentence. This one sentence, I would argue, describes our whole development through the practise of yoga. It reminds me of the eightfold path of Patanjali. First there is the effort towards good conduct. It’s an effort, an active practise to prepare the system (Yama, Niyama; Asana, Pranayama, Pratyahara, Dharana). Then there is the getting familiar with the tasting of stillness, absorption states, tastings of the divine within ourselves (Dyana) and lastly there is the full merging, the resting in the ocean of divinity, there is no more separation (Samadhi).

Hanuman, the great monkey God of the Ramayana is a symbol of the mind that has become disciplined and filled with devotion. Hanuman is the evolved state of our unruly mind that constantly jumps from thought to thought. This mind is fully focused on the presence of the divine within all and acts from that knowing. Hanuman ís the embodiment of the expression ‘Love all, serve all’’. 

And the story of Hanuman is the story of ourselves.

Ida Stuij, teacher at SvahaYoga, psycholigist 

[deborahotero]

My shadow exploring Gros Morne National Park, Fall 2018.

Freeform Friday | Divine Timing

"Before you call you are answered, for the supply precedes the demand." - Florence Scovel Shinn

Florence and I are a little late, I know, I'm sorry - but better late than never, right? Divine timing in all affairs.

Although it is passed midnight by now, (so technically, it's Saturday) I've got a warm Bustelo from my local Dominican spot the on this desk beside my laptop - so I am up. It is still Friday, October 18th, 2024 as far as I'm concerned.

Yesterday I thought, "Oh tomorrow is Friday, I better get ready to write because I done told everyone I would post a weekly writing entry" so here goes - as promised. The power of accountability.

"I did anticipate this quiet moment with myself though, I really need it."

So let's see, where do I begin? I guess I can start with sharing what is top of mind, which is what I did today. I had a much more productive day off today than I usually have. It could be that this super full moon in Aries has something to do with it, ( I always feel like cleaning and organizing during full moons, ::pulls out my witch broom::) but I bet it's mainly because I went to bed at 10pm last night - a total miracle of God.

I actually woke up early enough to meditate, do a little at home yoga AND do my laundry - another miraculous event. My skin looked extra glowy, I didn't drag myself out of bed or snooze a million times - I wasn't at all hungover (who am I?) and just felt really good. The echinacea drops I took in the morning (my friend made me a tincture for immunity this season) also really helped my mood as an unexpected added bonus. I looked it up and although echinacea does not contain any caffeine, it is known to help calm anxiety.

My Thursday nights are my "Friday nights" because I am off the next day so it's usually my night to go out, to drink, to dance, to social butter-fly around town (as I do so effortlessly.) Last night though, and most nights as of late, I just wanted to cozy up under my comforter and watch YouTube on my ipad (i have not owned a television by choice for years now - would much rather read or watch educational, inspirational content. Call me a weirdo, a non-conformist, hipster - whatever you want. This decision has been so beneficial for my mental health that it's 100% worth not ever being a part of the most "binge-watched" show references at work - even though sometimes people really think I must live under a rock. I am so far out of the pop-culture loop.

It's ok, I'll be fine under here.

This past week my selections included talks by Jordan Peterson on relationships, Yuval Noah Harari (author of Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind) on the future of AI (I am officially terrified for the human race) and Elon Musk interviews sprinkled in. My super femme rebellious, smart and hilarious, The Slumflower Hour podcast and Earl Nightingale's magical audio, "The Strangest Secret" are usually on the list as well.

I am often told by elders that I am "wise beyond my years" and although that probably has a lot to do with my parents having me later in life, (my mom was 40 and my dad was 50 something - literally have siblings in their 50s and 60s - I am 38 and am a great auntie, Doña Debora) I think the "wisdom" they are picking up on has everything to do with the self-development content I consume daily.

Not having a TV also makes me get out of the house more.

After wrapping up my morning routine, I grabbed a carrot, orange, pineapple, lemon, ginger juice (my go-to) at the deli and hit my beloved Fort Tryon Park. I posted a few pictures of the view from there today - it was so sunny, clear and gorgeous. The leaves are changing color and everything is picturesque. Found a nice bench, read my 1% Leadership book for a bit while I soaked up a few rays and did some calming breath work. Trying to soak up every moment of the warmer weather this week before we plummet into the depths of freezing cold wintery temperatures.

I took the A downtown to see the Elephants in Migration exhibition in Meatpacking (posted a few shots, they are super cool), had the best Kale Cesar at RH Rooftop and hit up my friend's N Between Bar at Chelsea Market which was a dope intimate, speakeasy, retro vibe. Good music, cocktail list and service - would definitely recommend. Tempted to stop into the seafood spot - The Lobster Place for some oysters (SO good) but I need to save my coins,

Learning to perceive the 24 hours I am given each day as gifts that should be cherished doing what I love whenever possible. No rush, no strict rules, no company needed. Just a mind and body willing to be, willing to intuitively explore and experience all that life offers while intuitively trusting in divine timing.

With Gratitude,

Debs

[aghostwithnoname]

TLDR: It's OK to take meds if you need them.

TW: Much discussion of struggles with mental and physical health, suicidal ideation, ableism, etc.

Unsure if this is relevant to anyone BUT I was thinking a lot about how lately I've noticed an uptick in songs, posts, blogs, etc. criticizing the use of medicine to treat mental disorders. Related to this, I also used to think 'alternative medicine' was just some harmless BS to shill useless and unethically sourced rocks -- now I feel like MOST of it is some scary cult shit that prevents people from getting actual fucking help and needs to be interrogated and regulated.

As someone who has struggled with my mental and physical health for decades, this trend against so-called "traditional medicine" is concerning to me for several reasons. DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying meditation, tai chi, yoga, etc. are at fault. These are cultural and spiritual practices developed by communities of colour that have a long history that should be respected, and they can certainly help some folks! I'm more concerned about the predominantly White people selling crystals to "cure your depression" or who say "cutting cords is going to free you from your PTSD", etc.

For so many years, I had been scared off of seeking out medical therapy because other people had told me "It's just about reframing your thinking," or "Big Pharma is just trying to sell you on drugs that will make you worse!" or "Your mental disorder is actually what empowers you/makes you creative/etc. and the meds will destroy that!" This sort of toxic "positivity" and misinformed distrust of medical science was even said in supposedly disabled-inclusive spaces and was incredibly damaging. I also worried that any time I considered the possibility of taking meds, this would be considered "drug-seeking" behavior, and doctors would deny me regardless. But here's the thing:

If you need to take meds or ask for meds, you can. It's not a bad thing. You are not denying "your true self" or whatever. You are not "lazy" or a bad person for "relying" on medication to feel better.

I get it that meds don't work for everyone, can make people feel worse, etc. Sometimes, it's a very long struggle to finding out what works for you -- and there's a lot of disappointment along the way when something doesn't work out. We all are different in how we respond to certain therapies and drugs. That's really what the term "neurodivergence" is meant to capture -- that everyone's brain chemistry and mental makeup is different -- and not all of it deserves to be pathologised. And I do agree, not all pharmaceutical companies are ethical in how they approach the creation and distribution of medicine -- look no further than the opioid crisis for evidence of that.

But when medicine is scientifically proven to be effective, is necessary, and *does* work for you -- gods, it's indescribable. For me, it really was a new lease on life. I finally was able to be wholly myself -- after living more than half my life in a dark, horrifying place -- though to everyone around me, I seemed to be doing fucking awesome. After meds, I finally was able to look in the mirror and tell myself I was good, deserving, intelligent, and caring without it being a blatant lie. I no longer thought about death constantly, or obsessed about my abuse and trauma.

Until then, I had forgotten how much my joy was just as much a part of me as my pain was. I think back to that endlessly scared, suicidal little kid and how much life they missed out on because they felt ashamed for seeking medicine that they desperately needed.

It's not that I wasn't trying hard enough to "redirect thoughts" or accept my brain for "what it was". I toughed it out until I couldn't. I punished myself for so many years seeking help in all the wrong places. I pushed myself until life broke me again -- and I could not put myself back together on my own.

There was so much guilt attached to me finally seeking out a prescription, until I reframed the conversation. "Hey, ghost, you also have a chronic illness that you need to take meds for -- so why are you so afraid of taking meds for your mental disorder when it would help? This is an option for a better quality of life that is accessible to you -- why the hell are you punishing yourself for wanting to use it?" The answer: Internalised ableism, baby! I mistakenly thought I was beyond that kind of thinking -- I wasn't.

I then thought back to all the time doctors and medical staff had failed to listen to my concerns when I was suffering from my chronic physical illness even AFTER I was positively diagnosed. One doctor had even purposefully set my dosage too low to actually address my condition and proceeded to "compliment" me on my unplanned weight loss. I didn't find out until years later from an actually good and empathetic doctor that I needed a dose 5x higher. 5x higher, people! That's not a mistake -- that's negligence and medical abuse outright.

When confronted with your physical and/or mental disability, for some weird reason, people will try to force you not to seek medical help and keep you suffering. That's fucking horrifying, especially when it's the people you are trying to seek help from.

Despite all this, I'm glad I fought the healthcare system, societal perceptions, and my own internalised ableism to advocate for what I needed. Even though it was scary, tiring, and years in the making, I finally found a good PCP and psychologist. I relied a lot on family and friends who understood my conditions for support. Now, thanks entirely to being on the RIGHT meds and correct dosage for both my physical and mental illnesses, it's like I'm a new person -- it sounds so cliché but it's true.

Does the dark side of my mind still come out some times? Sure. But I can turn away from it now and focus on the present and the people and things I cherish. I'm finally back to the person I was before the world tried to crush me. I can look at life again with the happiness and hope I had as a child, like I'm reaching back in time and holding their hand as they excitedly show me all the parts of myself I've been missing out on for the past twenty years.

This is why medical therapy should be accessible to EVERYONE, and people should not be shamed by their community or their healthcare providers for seeking out that option when it is available to them. FULL STOP.

Either way, if you're Going Through It, to quote my fav girl Karlach, thanks for listening, for existing. Love you.

[vulpine111]

Holy Spirit,

Thank you for what is going alright with my health. I'm tired of getting sick so much, but maybe my immune system will work better by the time I am back in college.

I love being able to walk. I love my legs and all the beautiful places they carry me, and I want to do more yoga exercises to honor them. I also love every single one of my organs that are still functional. I'm even finding peace with my unquiet mind.

Speaking of college, thank you for the fact I have ways to pay for that when I'm ready. I am really excited to go back and have an outlet for my creativity, etc. I'm shocked to be approved for so much funding.

I love being able to cook and eat my own meals. I love how I can make what I want pretty much whenever I want it as long as it's in my budget. Thank you for the beautiful apartment you've blessed me with in general. The kitchen is my favorite room here.

Thank you for my sweet therapy cat. He is a wonderful companion.

I look forward to whatever therapist agrees to work with me next. I will begin my search for more mental help sometime today.

Thank you for everything, God.

You are so good to me.

[daydreamingnightscreaming]

the first step, be clear about what your best version would look like. questions to ask yourself.

what would my best version look like? Happy, healthy, energetic.

what habits would i have? Waking up early every morning, drinking more tea, journaling, having crafting time.

what would my life be like? it would be more peaceful, more quality time together, more doing things together/

what would be my morning and evening routine? Waking up early, drinking coffee/tea, morning reading/journaling, maybe a little yoga, enough time for breakfast, taking care of the kids, going to work, coming home on time, more journaling/reading, some crafting, taking care of the kids again, more quality time with them and Curtis.

what thoughts would i have? More positive ones. Blissful ones. No so scared ones.

what would i focus on? My overall health and being a bad boss bitch.

what thoughts and habits should i leave behind? The overwhelming ones of "i can't do this", hopefully smoking but lord knows, over sleeping/under sleeping.

how would i like to feel? honestly? simply good. not as sick all the time. not in pain.

and lastly…

what can i start doing to connect with this version of me? I think i've already started with taking my vitamins for my hashimotos, even going and getting diagnosed was a big step and even doing this to kind of get me in a good mind set, also! i need to cleanse and clean the office. i need a safe space for this.

you can also add your own questions if they resonate with you, the important thing about this exercise is that you connect a little bit more with that better version of yourself.

from my experience, it is important to focus and work on these three areas of our life at the same time so that none of these areas are out of balance and we can flow to that version more easily.

it is important because i have realized from my own experience and from other people who send me questions that they only focus on one area, in most cases, the habits, and forget others, then when something happens or we go through a bad moment we feel lost and it seems that everything is "wrong" but if we work on these areas at the same time and we nurture them day by day we will have more control of our emotions and thoughts, then we will not stagnate in "bad times". remember, we can always go through bad times but these always bring us a learning experience.

✨ physical

daily movement, create an exercise routine

eating healthy food, for the sake and perfect functioning of our body.

create a daily routine that will help us reach our goals.

healthy habits

hobbies that help us connect with our best self.

focus on the well-being of our body

✨ mental and emotional

read about personal growth, psychology, and topics that will help us to improve our personal best.

journaling

keep a daily record of our emotions, as well as our habits.

focus on what we do want rather than what we don't want

detect what our negative thought patterns are and change them for - more positive ones according to how we want to think and feel from now on.

affirm positively

work on those areas of our life that we need to improve or are damaged

✨ spiritual

healing and balancing both your feminine and masculine energies

develop your intuition

have faith in yourself and in the process of creation (god, universe, energy…)

read about spirituality

meditate day and night

doing energetic cleansing

connect with your spiritual side

love yourself for who you are now

forgive the people who hurt us and forget the past

practice gratitude

practice compassion and tolerance towards yourself and others

connect with nature

this is what i believe brings us closer to becoming our best version, as i am always learning new things about the subject and evolving both personally and spiritually so i will continue to share this in future posts.

as always all questions related to the topic are welcome and if you have any doubts you can also ask.

[symmrtry]

TW ED/ Per weight convo: harm reduction is multi faceted. In the choice between “lose weight” or “don’t lose weight” I would like to pose this for you to consider: what stress/pain is easier to tolerate or compartmentalize? I was 200+lbs for many years with an eating disorder (not a binge eating disorder which may be surprising) and I found myself in a similar predicament- I needed to either be okay with being fat or fight it. At that point in my life I found it was easier/more holistic on my mental health to try to learn to be ok with being fat. My intuition knew that the way society interfaces fat people is not too dissimilar from any other marginalized or “less savory” group of people- you mentioned skinny people may actually just be better people but would you make that argument around racism? That because white people get treated better black people and other POC may actually just be worse people? I’m hoping you don’t/wouldn’t feel that way, but if you do agree with the latter statement then maybe addressing your beliefs is the first step before making any changes. Internalized fat phobia is as real as internalized racism, misogyny, etc. Long story longer, I focused on changing my brain. I actively rejected the opinions of people that were anything less than loving and supportive and. As exhausting as it was, I began laying the ground work for not needing external validation. My brain said I couldn’t wear something because I was fat? I wore it anyway. I actively stared at myself in the mirror and said only nice things, when a hurtful thing came out of my mouth I would correct myself out loud to myself and apologize. I only followed HAPPY and shameless fat people on social media, I unfollowed anybody that triggered my desire to be skinny. I went to the Emily Program and got lots of therapy too. I focused on making my internal brain space the safest and most loving place so that when the inevitable bullshit of people came knocking at the door, I didn’t automatically believe them. This is HARD work (and a continuous practice!) but it’s also so rewarding because not only do other people’s opinions stop mattering but the self’s opinion of self improves and matters the most. The craziest thing is I lost weight naturally over this process. I started eating more intuitively, I found ways to enjoy working out my body (Yoga with Adrienne is free on YOUTUBE and she’s amazing!) and in general all my focus was on feeling peace and loving myself- REGARDLESS OF HOW MY BODY LOOKED. the more those practices were practiced and took root the more my body seemed to settle into itself. I’m by no means skinny now, and honestly I LOVE the extra pudge on the bottom of my belly or under my arms, they make me soft like a cuddly bunny, nor is the moral of the story to love yourself so you can lose weight, but the point is there is roots to this struggle and pain: the shame, the insecurity, taking on other peoples opinions, eugenics based trauma (fat phobia impetus in many ways, along with racism) maladaptive coping skills, lack of boundaries, lack of discipline, etc. I also learned so much about the American food system- are you American? There are so many Americans that go abroad and eat more and STILL LOSE WEIGHT while traveling. Our processed food in the states is not our ally.

The point is do the thing that feels like it would empower you: would taking on a weight loss journey be more empowering for you or would detaching from societal paradigms be more empowering? Can you blend the two together and get creative to better support yourself- hell maybe exposure therapy and get fatter? There is no right answer, I would meditate and journal on this for yourself and trust your heart and soul- are you a spiritual person? While I say fuck the church, don’t abandon God if that would be a helpful addition to your self care. what you deserve is to have your own brain on your team. You’re brilliant and more than good enough whether you’re obese or underweight. You’re a blessing. Don’t let yourself be brainwashed further you can fight back and you can find peace and love with your body/ yourself. And only subconsciously or consciously insecure people ever say less than supportive of loving things. If you have loved ones saying things like you shouldn’t wear certain types of clothes, consider setting boundaries or even cutting these people out if they can’t speak kindly. Criticism has a time and a place but good criticism also understands that it is SUBJECTIVE and it sounds like you’re surrounded by a bunch of judgmental dinguses!! I understand how this can make it harder to be kind to yourself but then RUN! Save yourself! Protect yourself! Love yourself! Your body is doing it’s best and it needs your love compassion and support to do or be better. Kicking a misbehaving dog is just abuse. I love you, there is nothing for you to be ashamed about you are a gift you just are in the process of learning to see that and value that in yourself <3

this is very sweet i appreciate u. i more meant that skinny people are treated better and such so its more desirable to be skinny. but most ppl can change how much they weigh, no one can really change their skin color. so no i dont think poc are “worse”, nor are fat ppl. being prejudice is of course bad. everyone is worthy

i just think that actually changing my body might bring me more joy in the long run. but its a mix of it all. the physical and the mental. maybe plastic surgery too? #loveyouself

[cesium-sheep]

chapter 12 is a mixed bag.

it starts with a somewhat solid section about mental health, with a minor degree of potentially toxic positivity and an assumption of significant emotional labor on the patient's part, but also support of boundaries, self-care, and pruning shitty unsupportive relationships. although I personally believe that holding people to account that were just doing their best as they were taught and failing hundreds of people along the way is entirely reasonable and healthy and will not be "letting go" thank you.

the short section on preparedness (as a balm for anxiety) also seems pretty solid, although the travel subsection only discusses air travel.

the trigger assessment list is kinda mixed, with stuff like "is it unaesthetically pleasing?" and a lot of "consider more natural options" but for people who are not used to doing systemic or hunt-and-eliminate searches for triggers I imagine it may be helpful.

obviously the section on detoxification is stupid. the section on exercise is pretty solid though, and strongly encourages holding off until after a stable baseline is established and setting goals in relation to where the patient is already at with intentional accommodation for bad days, although a couple of the quacks do briefly poke their heads in. (even the bit about yoga is quite even-handed!) it's interesting to me that the recommended example breathing exercise is a 3 count cycle instead of the absolutely nuts fucking 8 count I was taught that I hate and just makes me feel worse instantly even though I've got singer lungs. (both of these are in-hold-out for x count. personally I prefer an in-out 4 count that's counted to my heart rate.)

the quackery gets more obvious in the "neuropsychological treatment options" section when it's suggested that oh mcas might actually be due to a trauma association with the trigger no shut up fuck you. there's some dumb shit in the mindset section too, like that's a surprise.

the emotional healing exercises section on the other hand is like. remarkably good? god knows most people fuck up those types of recommendations, but honestly she does a really good job with a wide net for what counts as self care and an awareness of the barriers in place especially for sick folks. even the mindfulness suggestions are not just not irritating but sometimes actively good. there's a very strong emphasis when talking about outreach that if it's adding to stress or burdens it's a bad choice and you gotta loop back to the self care part. and then we get the joy vs happiness ennobling through suffering wankery right after of course.

also interesting that apparently the woo-woo naturopaths define grounding entirely differently from the field of psychology. she means literally touching the physical earth ground. (which, to be fair, is also quite grounding in the more common sense as well. altho of course that's not why it's being suggested. it's some more bullshit about emfs. with one study cited saying it was connected to improvements in aging lmao)

the rest of it is fine, good that financial and accessibility considerations are addressed directly as well as the other times they've been mentioned/acknowledged. although it does feel a little dodgy how often she hammers on about not wrapping up your whole identity in the disease. like, getting a little "person with a disability" there babe. indicates a strong disconnect with the disabled community yknow. we do love to see that the "fantastic blog resource that discusses the connection between autism spectrum disorders and mcas" is now a dead link tho. rest in pieces I bet you were allistic anyway. (that's why I even checked, cuz. yknow. have yet to see an autistic person acknowledged as a human with thoughts yet.)

so, a chapter that takes some significant pruning, but overall still Actually Useful. and now it's done and I can put it away for the move.

(also apparently she was working on this book for 2 years, which. it's a big dense book with a lot of research but like, you'd think maybe it would be more cohesive or refined? maybe properly editing would've taken a third year.)