#also fun fact: i used none other than myself for reference

[titaniumions]

it's timekeeper time

[silverthornwitchery]

Starting With Wicca: A primer

(This is a repost of a community post I made over on my main blog @wolfgirlcoven)

This is a repost from a post I made on TherianGuide as a response to someone inquiring about getting started with Wicca. I have been a witch for 13 years, and really started delving fully into NeoWicca around 2021/2022-ish, and am in the process of crafting my own NeoWiccan tradition which draws influence from Stregheria, Heathenry, Druidry, and American Folkloric Witchcraft's non-oathbound materials.

Wicca tends to come in two forms: Traditional Wicca, and NeoWicca. Traditional Wicca is an initiatory mystery tradition, whereas NeoWicca is built off of the available materials that Traditional Wiccans have made public.

Traditional Wicca: Traditional Wicca has many different traditions, but the most well known are Gardnerian and Alexandrian. Alexandrian being an offshoot of Gardnerian. There's other traditions such as Blue Star, Corellian, Seax-Wica, and so on. (Fun Fact, Seax-Wica is actually self-initiatory, and does not require a coven structure like other traditions do. It's inspired by Anglo-Saxon paganism, but is still strictly Wiccan and not reconstructionist Heathenry.) With Trad Wicca, especially British Traditional Wicca (which I will refer to as BTW from here on), you will most often find that they operate in a coven based structure, and the covens can trace back their lineages to BTW in most cases. These covens will more often than not have an age requirement, as many practice skyclad (aka nude). In all honesty, I'd steer away from any coven that DOESNT have an age requirement.

NeoWicca - NeoWicca is what most people know as Wicca. Unnfortunately NeoWicca gets a bad reputation due to the 90s witch craze and new age boom blending the two, and certainly misinformed witchtokers do not help. True NeoWicca (and not NewAge Fluff repackaged) is heavily influcenced by authors such as Raymond Buckland, Scott Cunningham, Vivianne Crowley, etc. Silver Ravenwolf, as controversial as she is, also is responsible for the growth of solitary neo-wicca. (Unpopular opinion but I do think her books have merit if you read them from a standpoint of acknowledging it as HER tradition and not the end-all/be-all of Wicca, like many do. I'm quite fond of her book Solitary witch, even if I don't personally agree with everything in it. I certainly would NOT start with her though, and not use her work for a path-foundation.)

Core Aspects of Wicca: Both Neo and Traditonal Wicca will have some shared core aspects.

1. Belief in the God and Goddess. The God and Goddess are the gods of Wicca. How one approaches them may vary, but it's common to take the approach of what I like to call Pluriform Duotheism(this is the approach I take myself). This is the belief that the gods and goddesses seen in the many cultures and mythologies around the world are various manifestations of the God and Goddess. All gods are one god, all goddesses are one goddess. This is controversial as many take this to mean you can call whoever you want for whatever you want. I would disagree. Names are energetic calling cards/titles that people have bestowed upon the divine. For example, if you were to worship Diana and Pan as your Goddess and God, you would indeed want to look into how they were worshipped in the cultures that gave them those names. Studying the mythos and cultural beliefs around the forms of the gods you worship can help you deepen your understanding of them. It's also good to study various deific archetypes, such as the Queen of Heaven, Earth Mother, Sky Father, Horned God, Triple Goddess, etc. There is no right or wrong way to worship the gods in Wicca so long as you are worshipping them in good faith.

2. The Wiccan Rede. The Wiccan Rede serves as a code of conduct to live by. The word Rede means advice, not commandment. Many people take the "an it harm none, do what you will" part of the Rede to mean no baneful magick ever. This is ahistorical to traditional Wicca. While it is certainly good to strive to harm none, if someone hurts you, is abusive, etc. it is ok to use magick to strike back and defend yourself. Think of it as not throwing the first punch, or as a firearm used in self-defense. The Rede itself may not be used in all forms of Wicca, ironically enough, but today it is very commonly seen. I think of "An it harm none, do as ye will" as moreso "if it isn't hurting anyone, let em be".

Of course, nowdays Wicca is a bit of a loaded word. You've likely seen a lot of anti-wicca posts in the witchcraft community. This is mostly because people are ill-informed on the religion, and only know Wicca from the 90s-2000s New Ager stuff dubbed "Wicca". So, below, let's play mythbusters and bust some myths:

1. Wicca is Built off of Appropriation - wrong. Wicca, at its conception, is an attempt to reconstruct the Witch-Cult as theorized by Margaret Murray. Though the idea of a pan-european witch cult is basically debunked, at the time of Wicca's founding, it was indeed believed. Wicca also incorporates a lot from various Western Esoteric traditions, which were part of the backbone of the occult movement. There's nothing wrong with practicing wicca, and there is indeed merit in the concepts of the god and goddess of the hunt & fertility being the oldest gods worshipped, as those were essential to the survival of early humans. Cultural appropriation in Wicca comes from the New Age boom of the 90s and 2000s throwing everything non-christian under the wicca label to get money.

2. Wicca is gender essentialist - somewhat true, as it does indeed focus on Male and Female as a creative dual force in the universe. Wiccans today are aware of this, but the idea of Masculine & Feminine being the forces of creation DOESN'T have to exclude queer. It's not mutually exclusive. When we look at the Goddess Inanna, the Queen of Heaven herself, she describes herself as both male and female, and was known to turn men into women, and women into men. Though some Wiccan covens may still hold antiquated ideas of gender and sexuality, most don't. In my personal Wiccan path, I view The God and Goddess as simply being the polar ends of the gender spectrum, and the universe as a whole (which is joining of the god and goddess/the all) as the divine androgyne, existent beyond gender. Anyone who falls betwixt, between, or outside of the spectrum are all equally divine, as the divine is in everything.

3. Gerald Gardner was a creep/homophobe/etc. therefore Wicca is bad - Gerald Gardner was a man born in the 1800s. Obviously, he is going to be a product of the time. Whether you love him, hate him, or don't really care too much about him, we would not have modern paganism and witchcraft if not for him. You cannot believe everything you hear on witchtok, because people will say things that are blatantly untrue. Yes, Gardner was not a good man by today's standards, because no one is perfect. Even Gardnerians will acknowledge this.

Ok with that out of the way, we're onto resources for Wicca. I'll start with books.

WICCA SPECIFIC: Wicca, a guide for the Solitary Practitioner - Scott Cunningham Raymond Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft- Raymond Buckland Wicca for One - Raymond Buckland The Craft - Dorothy Morrison The Witches Bible - Janet and Stewart Farrar Wicca: a comprehensive guide to the old religion in the modern world - Vivianne Crowley The Truth About Witchcraft - Scott Cunningham The Book of Shadows - Gerald Gardner Witchcraft Today - Gerald Gardner

THE GODS OF WICCA: The Witches God & The Witches Goddess - Janet and Stewart Farrar (two separate books, i put em together for the sake of ease) Queen of all Witcheries - Jack Chanek The Horned God of the Witches - Jason Mankey

WICCA-ADJACENT: Italian Witchcraft - Raven Grimassi The Spiral Dance - Starhawk Druidcraft - Phillip Carr Gomm Triumph of the Moon - Ronald Hutton

PROTO-WICCA: (aka Wicca draws a lot from this) Aradia, Gospel of the Witches - Charles Godfrey Leland

There's a LOT more books out there about Witchcraft and Paganism, so this is only a little sample platter lol.

Next up, let's delver further into the gods of Wicca:

When getting into Wicca, you will quickly learn that the names of the God and Goddess used in Traditional Wicca are often Oathbound, as in you cannot know them unless you are initiated into a coven. Different Covens may use different names for the God and Goddess. When talking with a good friend of mine (idk if eir on this site yet but shoutout to em) we have come to a theory as to why the names are oathbound: From a meta standpoint, knowing the oathbound/coven names of the gods marks you as an insider. Like it or not, insider vs outsider type mentality has always been a key part of humanity's survival.

Many people will say that the reason the names are oathbound is because they are the true names of the gods, but i personally disagree. My reasoning for disagreement is as follows: if the gods only had one set of true names, they wouldn't be responding to the prayers of non-initiated wiccans, neowiccans, etc. Worry less about names of the gods, and focus more on building a relationship with them. ALL names are true names, so long as you approach the god and goddess genuinely and with respect. Use the names and imagery of the divine that resonates with your soul. If it's Zeus and Hera, Cernunnos and Aradia, Lucifer and Diana, Ba'al and Astarte, etc. it doesn't matter, use what calls your soul. And be aware that the names you use for the gods may change over time, or you may even use multiple names for them, and that's ok.

I know some of the names listed may be scary, especially to those who were raised christian like me, and that's ok too. The main thing is to unlearn christian teachings and biases. Lucifer is originally a roman personification of the morning star, and an Italian god of the sun & light, akin to Apollo. Ba'al is a title that simply means "Lord" and was used to refer to a good number of near-eastern gods such as Hadad (who can be equated to Zeus and Thor), Hammon (who can be equated to Jupiter-Amun, as well as Saturn), and so forth. This is why studying the names of the gods is important, as it helps you unlearn that which you were taught to fear.

I'll link some videos that go into detail on understanding just who the God and Goddess are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTbnsIcYvc8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bInWOUyMLQI

both of these videos I really enjoy! The first video I absolutely adore as it's simple and straight to the point, (also the altar Icons he uses are just GORGEOUS)

there will also be talk of the Goddess as Maiden-Mother-Crone, as this is one of the primary ways many see the Goddess, though many may not use the triple goddess archetype in their path, and that's ok! I personally experience the triple goddess as Crescent, Full, and Dark moons, as well as Earth, Sea, and Sky, rather than Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

Starting Out:

In all honesty, the best way to start your Wiccan path is to reach out to the Lady and Lord themselves, you don't need to use specific names for them, you can simply call them by any of their titles, or even just God/Goddess, or Lord/Lady, etc. Speak to them, ask them to guide you on your journey, give an offering if you can - even just pouring out some water is good enough. So long as what you offer is done in genuine faith, it will suffice.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

Now that your body has reverted to 10 years old again, does this mean your brain has also reverted but you retained your memories?

For example, do you find yourself more emotional than before and using your emotions rather than logic? Or your motor skills have dropped significantly?

You seem intelligent, so I will happily answer your question despite the crisis it causes me. Crisises.

The short answer is yes!

The long answer, I've found myself experiencing childish urges, emotional spikes and fears ever since what I will refer to as The Incident, italicized for dramatic effect. This is most likely a result of what you've stated; the brain reverting while memories are retained.

As for physical "symptoms", you're correct about the motor skills (remind me to re-learn cursive, please.) As well as several other changes that I've found.. frustrating.

The most frustrating I can name off the top of my head, though there is a myriad, the sudden bursts of energy I've been experiencing at entirely random moments of the day. Just an hour ago I spun around for five minutes and made myself sick! Then did it again for some reason when Mabel told me it looked fun-- but now isn't the time for that.

I've learned that engaging in an act known as "stimming", as I professionally demonstrated above, is the most efficient way to let off said energy while also preserving as much maturity as possible. While that isn't much I've begun to accept it. (Or biting. Biting helps. I bit Stanley yesterday.)

Before I end this answer, I will leave whoever happens to read this with the reminder that I am, in fact, a sixty year old man and none of this means anything. I am not a child.

(ooc: ran out of things to write lmao)

[ourtalechara]

OKAY NEATH! FANS LISTEN UP

(analysis of Mr. Pages verse of the MV that I spent a while creating coming up)

I just showed Down Here In London to my singing teacher and luckily for us she a) has a bigger monitor than the phone screen I usually watch Neath! on and b) is heckin' smart, and instantly figured out "pridesolated" as pride + isolated. Which totally checks out! Byron is infact both of those things!

"Promtscivious" is a bit of a difficult one. I didn't ask my teacher what she saw in this one, but she studied it for a moment, and based on her reaction, and my own analysis I assumed she found either promiscuous or prostitution - either of which could be there, but I believe that promiscuous is much more likely. Mischievous is also definitely in there. What I'm uncertain about is to whether there are two words, or three. It's not quite spelled like promiscuous + mischievous, and while that could just be a spelling error (intentional or otherwise) it could also be another word nestled in there.

"Posthumorous" is clearly posthumous + humorous. I'm not quite so sure what this is saying. Posthumous refers to the fact that Harry is dead, and humorous... I'm not quite sure. I mean, I know what the word means, but I don't see why it would apply to specifically Harry moreso than any of the others...

As for what the heck "maudlimiquitous" means, we're still totally lost.

But there's more we can learn from the music video!!

For one, according to the census forms, the ministry representative is named "Stuart Pendium"

Which is really fun!

The full census form cannot be read in any shot, but from what we can read, it looks like this (text in brackets is inferred, while ellipsis indicate the presence of unknown words):

The very top reads "[MINI]STRY OF ACCOUNTING & RECOUNTING", directly under that is a box with big letters that say "[C]ENSUS FORM"

From what we can read, the text directly under that says

"...[E]NUMERATING AND CHRONOCUMENTATIONS OF LONDON'S ... [T]HEIR WHIMS, FANCIES, AND INTRIGUERIES. BY ORDER [OF THE MASTERS] OF THE BAZAAR.

...[T]O THE OFFICE OF MR. PAGES WITH ALL DUE EXPEDIATION"

To the right of all of this is a seal of the ministry of accounting and recounting.

Underneath that the questions begin, the first box holding "MINISTRY REPRESENTATIVE", "BADGE NO.", "CITIZENIZEN", and "ADDRESIDENCE". On all forms, the ministry representative is Stuart Pendium, and the badge number is 19910508.

The questions underneath read "Q1: How many people live in this establishmentation?", "Q2: Is anyone in this establishment enam...rificated o...", and "Q3: How would one define their occupatory pursuits?"

All of the questions are answered as such:

[CITIZENIZEN: R]obert "Honest Bob" Rackett

[ADRESIDENCE:] The Singing Mandrake, Veilgarden

Q1: ...[i]nformal lodger at the Si[nging Mandrake] in Veilgarden. A tenant of C[assie] Haversham and fellow propriet[or]... was unavailable for comment.

Q2: "I should like to find myself ... and a heart with which to share ... no such fortune in such ende[avors]

The only thing I was able to make out for the third question was "absolutely legal"

[CITIZENIZEN: Byron Bri]mstone

[ADRESIDENCE: The Bra]ss Embassy, Ladybones Road

Q1: ... do not count in s...bers as ... end"

Q2: ...[s] and desires abound here; but w[a]... they of yours?"

Q3: "Our duties pertain to planes beyond your limited understanding."

CITIZENIZEN: Cassie Haversham

ADRESIDENCE: The Singing Mandrake, V[eilgarden]

Q1: A residence of the... lady Cassandra Hav[ersham] ... prietor ... [Haversham] [u]na[cc]ounted for? ... [lod]ger Ro[bert [R]ackett]

Q2: ...ons indul... [w]hich to...

Q3: ...er... led ... [i]ng. .. - dan[c]e[d]

While other forms can be seen, none of them are readable.

Additionally, many things on the table are connected via red string. Cassie is the one with the most connections (two strings pass by the pin on her picture, as opposed to the one that everyone else has). By the string connecting Harry and Bob is a scrap of paper with the words "Met with" written on it (likely meaning that the two have met each other at some time). Due to the positioning, one could read it as adding onto Honest Bob's word, making it "Met with Maudlimiquitous" (likely unintentional, but not entirely impossible). In between Byron and Cassie is a scrap of paper with "Fell impassionated with" written on it. There is a pin stuck in it, and the Cassie - Byron string passes through it. There is also another scrap of paper, which isn't attached to any string, and isn't near anyone in particular, but can be found above Byron's head. It seems to say "Regrets mee[ting]..."

There's more stuff I could mention, but this is already long and stuff and I'm tired.

[spiteful-studios]

PLEASE- I just wanted to get some love from these two boiz- and all I got was a target on mah bootiful forehead-

HOW DARE YOU-

I'm just kidding, what is the lore of this? What made you target our foreheads? 😊

if it makes you feel any better, i happen to be the CEO of having a massive dome so you're in great company—

anyways explanation under the cut !!

the reason we decided to go with something as innocuous as your forehead to pick on you for is for a.) inclusivity and b.) time appropriate discrimination. its important to remember that the game takes place in the seventies in the united states. the social environment for the school would be a lot different than the social environment that we would see in a more modern high school; namely, one of the things we discussed pretty early on in our discussion of worldbuilding for our dating sim was how we were going to tackle the discrimination that one would probably experience in a high school at this time. i know we do have some players who may not be as familiar with united states politics around this time, but the civil rights act, which banned segregation in public spaces, was passed in the mid-sixties ( be nice to me its been like ten years since ive studied american history ) so depending on when we think glass hearts takes place in the seventies, we might be fresh off segregation. and there are other factors to consider, such as how racism looks in southern states versus northern states and how that would translate to an academic setting, nevermind the sexism you may face if you're afab or visibly queer. so that brought the question: do we ignore period appropriate discrimination?

if i can get personal for a second— im bipoc and i love the sixties and seventies for their aesthetic, the vernacular, it just so happens that i really like it. but im someone who grew up with a lot of discrimination around videogames. its frustrating, for example, to play a game with an all-white cast where the self-insert main character is a little petite white girl when i am, in fact, a plus-sized black woman. Or playing games in which the only people of color i see are complete stereotypes rather than actual characters. i was pretty upfront with my partner that i didnt want to us to create a game that isolated people of color the way that i felt isolated growing up. so, blatantly putting anything discriminatory against anyone was not on the table for either of us. it would have been period appropriate, sure, but it wouldnt have been a fun experience no matter what avenue we went down with it. but i also felt like it was . . . weird not to have any reference to the discriminatory nature of a school environment at that time ?? i kind of struggle to put it into words necessarily, but it feels reductive to just not include anything about the discriminatory nature of schools at that time for people in vulnerable populations ?? like, for example, homophobia is not so insignificant that i can just write it out of a time period and we are none the wiser. while i would love to live in a world where homophobia doesnt exist it is just unrealistic, and writing around it diminishes opportunities to show characters growing from prejudice views, or explain struggles that some audiences ( like myself and my partner, for example ) can really resonate with. so that brings us back to the main question: how do we write discrimination without actively discriminating against anyone ??

the forehead bit.

it was kind of a joke that meg and i spitballed when we were in the early phases of writing the script ( specifically lou tenant making that forehead joke early in the game. the way meg read that out had me dying laughing when we were in the early stages ) that just stuck, but it really worked out to accomplish what we were trying to accomplish !! because the forehead bit is annoying. we can write it in ways that make it easy to play it off for laughs and make it something that we can all giggle about, but the constant repetition gives this impression that certain characters are judging you off a character that the main character cannot control or change, or that they're poking fun of a feature that is unique to you. if you want to read into it in a more serious light like meg and i are more prone to do with the media that we consume, then the forehead joke can be seen as a microaggression and expanded upon. but for people who are not interested in that, they can just laugh, groan, or roll their eyes and move on with the story. its also such a specific insult that there's minimal risk of retraumatizing anyone with that comment, and it still harkens back to the microaggressions you may face based on your sexuality, ethnicity, race, etc. we didnt want to isolate any particular audience by making anything more specific than that— anyone can have a big forehead regardless of gender, sexuality, ethnicity, etc.

so, in short because i rambled a lot in this response, it basically serves as environmental storytelling to write discrimination without writing discrimination. whether we were successful is entirely at the digression of the audience; i just know that meg and i have been trying to make a game that we would enjoy playing, and that was what we decided would be the most effective avenue to tackle that issue.

[featherwingfox]

Beautiful, I am so proud- I look at this and think, "I drew her!" And she's beautiful! It's the eyes I tell ya! I'm so happy!!!! 😊

I didn't make any mistakes this time! She has none! I didn't really mess with the design because well, it's Alex, Minecraft Alex. The one in Steve Saga specifically, she's so nice.

👍🙂👍

So her clothing design was simple. As for everything else, it was easy! But not the braids, I'll get to that last. I wanted her eyes to be the prettiest part. I don't know how, but I unconsciously drew her eyes to resemble the shape of emeralds. When I was done drawing them I looked at the page and just paused, noticing how great they turned out but I somehow wasn't thinking while doing that. Well, by far my favorite part of the drawing. And despite what I said in the past post, she isn't evil. I know, I know, I said villains wear green. But she isn't wearing THAT much green. It's only evil green if it takes up most of your appearance. This amount of green is innocent green, good green! While the eyes are amazing and fun to draw, the braids look amazing and were a pain to draw. Not too much but enough to set it down, look for references, repeat the process of drawing them and erasing them, and then I finally got this! A long time ago I could draw braids a little easier, of course there are those days when the art isn't ARTING but I'm sure I've gotten back into the passing of things, I'm satisfied and proud of these braids. They needed to curve more since it was over her shoulder but the biggest problem was just looking stiff. It might still be the case here but it looks way better than what I had before! And then there was the look of a braid itself, the braiding design. I tried hearts and squiggly lines, I tried the zigzag thing, it wasn't working for me. I found that just drawing ovals was the best method. For me, if y'all want to try it out take my advice on finding what works for you. Not everyone can draw the same thing in the same way, as long as you get there it is worth figuring out. The hands weren't a problem, it was a good day to draw hands... Or a hand. The other is out of the picture but I promise, it wasn't because I needed a way to cover it up this time! Sometimes I just draw too far to the side of the page, you can't see her boots either! Oh, one other thing. As I've said in previous posts, I tend to mess up lighter skin tones. Now in her face I did, but I managed to erase most of it and fix it. Draw lightly with the brighter orange color pencil and lightly with a light pink. Adjust and blend with either color if you need more. I need to remember this myself as I keep trying to use the tan colored pencil when it has never worked well for me!

So, Alex has a lot of backstory and her travels with Sabre in the later parts of the OG series were fun. In this fan rewrite I have edited some things. I understand she went through a lot and deep down was just trying to be helpful or at least live peacefully, but there were some scenes of her losing it, mostly the one where she gets overwhelmed with pressure and stress so she lost control, and it she decided that... Destroying everything was the solution? I mean, once again considering her past experiences and the time building up to that moment, it was rough, in fact rough is an understatement. As much as I can see why that could happen, my interpretation of her character herself felt too strong and conflicted with this scene. At first she just wanted to live peacefully, she'd be lucky if she found a nice village that accepted her. Then, after meeting Sabre, I'm pretty sure she just wanted to help and it was a strong feeling. Now her losing control is still going to happen, resulting in the plot moving forward and yada yada, but she doesn't just suddenly want to destroy everything. That's the logic a villain would have, I BLAME THE GREEN!!!

ahem

Alex is a good person. She has her flaws, she has her moments, she struggles and she fails, she also does well, overcoming problems, and finds a way, but most of all she is true to herself and does what she thinks is best when she is in the right mindset, even in her times of panic and breaking down, she wouldn't want to destroy everything as that ruins her whole purpose on trying to help in the first place. And she learns to rely on her new friends. Sabre and the others are there for her, but she can't be helped if she doesn't let them help her, and she realizes this. I have fleshed out her character a little more by these little changes and one I want to show you right now is that Alex loves this world too much to think she needs to destroy it. The only reason why she'd do so is if she unintentionally does this, is being controlled, or loses control of her powers. Willingly she wouldn't. In this fan rewrite she is taught the lesson that not everything is perfect, and that is perfect. It is okay, whether win or lose, succeeded or failed, in the end it is okay.

My brain is a little fried from all this thinking and deep wisdom, I might need to wear this. 🎃 See you tomorrow with another design!

Story: Steve Saga (Fan Rewrite)

Character: Alex

Abilities: Um......... Goddess powers....??? 🤷‍���️ The power of creation and stuff. I dunno...

Personality: friendly, smart, nice cool, curious, and powerful.

By the way y'all, my mom said she looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo and I can't help but agree now... 😭👍

[imagitory]

So! Disney Parks has released a full ride POV of Tiana's Bayou Adventure, formerly Splash Mountain, at Walt Disney World. I will just let you all watch it first, before delving into my personal thoughts. Unless you want spoilers, at which point, go on -- dig a little deeper!

All right, so right off the bat, I have to say this --

I have no nostalgia for the original Splash Mountain. Like, none. At all. I'm much more into Disney parks "classic" rides like Haunted Mansion or Pirates of the Caribbean or story-centric rides like Alice in Wonderland than I am Disney's thrill rides like Space Mountain or Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. Splash Mountain was really only fun for me when it was hot enough outside that getting soaked was refreshing, at which point it had such a long line that Single Rider was the only way to not wait in a long line, and I'm the sort to more enjoy thrill rides with other people than by myself, so I really just never indulged in it that much. (In fact, the most prominent time I remember going on it, our boat got stuck on the ramp going up toward the big drop and I had to listen to the vultures right over me crowing about how I was going to die for a solid fifteen minutes.) To top it all off, the Song of the South theming quite frankly made me uncomfortable -- yes, the ride was only ever focused on the animated segments of the film, but it remains the only Disney ride (past or present) that I can think of where the less you know about the ride's characters, origin, and themes, the better. And considering that Tiana is my favorite Disney princess and her movie is only just now starting to get the attention and love it should've had all the way along, I was frankly delighted to hear about this new refurbishment.

So yeah, I'm honestly the sort of Disney fan who was going in with a very sunny outlook about this refurbishment. The animatronics' footage released earlier this year looked great, they got Anika Noni Rose back to sing the ride's new original song...I was hyped. But now that I've seen this...yeah, I won't lie, I am a bit disappointed.

The whole reason you're supposedly on this ride is to help Tiana search the bayou for a band for this big party being hosted in New Orleans. I don't mean to be rude, but...why are we looking in the bayou? Yeah, sure, Louis is from the bayou and he plays the trumpet, but he was the odd one out, remember? He wanted to play jazz with talented human performers, but ended up getting chased off the boat when he first tried. If there were a lot of other animals in the bayou who played jazz, then why would Louis have wanted to become human so much in the first film, before realizing that people could love him as the jazz-playing alligator he was? Not to mention that New Orleans is full to the brim with talented musicians already. If this celebration was maybe being arranged by Louis, that could explain why bayou critters are more involved here, but even that seems a little shaky.

Another thing I really didn't like is how Tiana's husband Naveen is barely in it. Tiana and Naveen as a pair is one of my all-time favorite Disney couples, and I would've loved to hear him and Tiana actually sing a duet here, since they only really ever sang in one song in their original movie together, and that was before the two got together! Tiana's best friend Charlotte is also barely in it despite being one of my favorites, but I thoroughly expected that -- the entire time Tiana and Louis were looking around, I really wanted Naveen there, when the original film really accented how well these three (and Ray) worked as a group. It also could've given us a chance to rewrite/reference "When We're Human," the first time these three performed as a trio.

There was also a good amount of "filler space" in this ride. I mean, at one point, Mama Odie feels the need to shrink us out of nowhere, I guess just to accent that the frogs and the fireflies also like to perform...but well, Tiana was a frog once, and Louis was able to enjoy Ray and the fireflies' music in the original movie without shrinking down. And really, in between the few fully depicted scenes (which don't feature a lot of action or storytelling outside of animals playing music), there are a lot of gaps where nothing's really going on and all we can do is just look at the random plants in a garden or at the various bayou locations. There aren't even any clever story elements slipped into those locations either, like the macabre details about Constance's dead husbands in the Haunted Mansion or Splash Mountain's references to Brer Rabbit, Brer Bear, and Brer Fox's houses and how their appearances and sizes reflect each character.

But my biggest problem with this new ride is its lack of teeth or stakes. If you're going to have this ride with a BIG DROP at the end, that drop has gotta mean something. There should be some real anticipation -- not necessarily fear, but the climb should get your blood pumping, waiting on the edge of your seat. And as much as I wasn't a huge fan of the original Splash Mountain, it did that! Remember, this ride isn't The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Undersea Adventure or Snow White's Enchanted Kiss -- this is a ride with a height requirement: in other words, it's geared toward older children and adults. Even Radiator Springs Racers -- another kid-centric thrill ride based on an animated movie -- has you race around in the dark, almost crash, get stopped by the Sheriff for speeding, and get chased by the biggest of those cow tractor things (sorry, I'm not a Cars fan, I don't really care). The child guests who'd be riding Tiana's Bayou Adventure could withstand a little more edge in this ride's story line, even just a little -- and the adults I daresay would've loved to see some reference to the Friends on the Other Side in the mix! (I would've! Dr. Facilier is the best Disney villain from the entire Disney Revival, if you ask me.) It would've allowed the ride to use more music from the film, reuse some of the dark ambience from the original Splash Mountain on that climb, and given us that stronger relief upon reaching the party safely. It also could've better explained us getting shrunk against our will! Maybe while looking for a band for Louis's surprise party with Tiana and Naveen, the Friends decide to corner us and try to keep us from leaving the bayou because they want to devour our shadows or some whatever, and it's ultimately thanks to Mama Odie and Louis that we're able to escape the Friends by taking a "leap of faith" which transports us back to New Orleans with the new band we found at the party Charlotte was helping us plan. Or they could've just based the ride on the bloody movie -- that would've been fun too.

I'm not going to act like this ride is terrible -- I mean, as I said, the animatronics are great, and the overall aesthetic is pretty...and of course, if you're a thrill ride nut, you'll like the drops. But the finished result still feels a little lackluster, compared to other "rethemings" we've been given in the past, like the Incredicoaster, Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission BREAKOUT!, and (if you want to go back further for a smaller budget example) Monster's Inc: Mike and Sulley to the Rescue.

So yeah, um...hopefully people like Tiana's Bayou Adventure better than I do just watching this ride-through, but if even they don't, the Disney parks could always refurbish this baby with some more magic down the road. Until then, though...

"Maybe next time."

[lefluoritesys]

Can't find a DNI so. Uh. Delete this if we're on it I guess??

One of your posts talks about the anxiety of leaving the front. I don't know that I'd say I'm afraid of losing my life, more...afraid in general? I tend to overthink things (haha I was in denial for like two years before accepting my head people) but I do want to reach a place where I can switch in or out.

Do you have any tips for it? Any advice or tricks you learned along the way? Right now our switches feel...co-conscious, I think is the word for it? Memories get hazy because it's like there's the Front that's remembering everything, and then we (the People) switch in or out of it - many of us don't even fully remember what goes on while we're not in the front. The others seem to be getting better about it which gives me hope for progress, but I'm not great at it myself ^^"

Hm... I can't really say I have universal solutions for it, simply because there are none. And that shouldn't discourage you or make you feel scared, nor is it bad. It's just another thing that makes DID/OSDD/DDNOS/having people in your head unique to every single person.

I can, however, say, that the way we did it was by figuring out what exactly makes me so afraid. I dug into it for a long time, it took a while for me to come to terms with. The reason I couldn't let go, as I found out, was that I was afraid of others destroying the life I built for us. I got stuck in front for 3 years and basically dragged us from the depths of hell. You know the saying, "did you fall from Heaven?" "No, I crawled from hell, and said, 'finally separated from my partnets'." That. I didn't exactly separate, but as others refer to it now, "you saw the fire and made barbecue." I was scared that if I let go, our life would go to shit again. Also that I won't see my partner in front ever again. But all of it was solved via simple communication and baby steps. Explaining to others our schedules and what I do to keep our life afloat. Slowly but surely, I can let go when I want to. I can even sleep in the inner world, which is basically almost turning off your consciousness; and that is huge.

Your solutions should come from the core of the issue. What are you specifically afraid of? That is a tough question, and I know that. But it is necessary. And with memories and switching out... a fun fact about DID is, the better the communication, the lower the amnesia walls. I know that is not exactly what you have, however, the logic may still apply. It took us some time to start seeing the inner world, and remembering stuff from it; and that lack of memories and sight also related to same anxiety. And our gatekeepers, the bitches (/aff, I love you, gatekeepers). I don't think I have any tips there, but it did get better with lowered anxiety and acceptance of, "well. This is our life now."

It is already absolutely awesome that you are already making some progress, even if it's just certain individuals. Perhaps, they may be doing something different than the rest of you! And even if not, that is already a road to recovery and functionality, no matter how slow.

You got this!💜

[bellascarousel]

So, there's a fic idea that's been rattling around in my head for a while. It essentially consists of plopping the Bridgertons into Valdemar. Yesterday, my brain spent most of the day mentally plotting and writing this thing. And then... I ordered myself a copy of the Valdemar Companion as reference material. So, apparently I'm really gonna do this. So! Now I'm gonna tell you guys all about this idea I have. Below the Read More so as not to spam anyone who doesn't care about my fanfiction.

So, let me start off by explaining a bit of the setting for those of you that aren't familiar with the Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey. It's a fantasy setting, first of all. So, magic is real and all of that. The kingdom of Valdemar was founded by a man named Baron Valdemar (I have not read the prequel that tells his story, so I don't know his first name) who was fleeing from a place we only ever know as the Eastern Empire. When he and his people finally found a place to settle down, the people decided to make him their king, and they named the kingdom after him. Well, having seen first hand how power can corrupt people, our newly minted King was worried about the long term future of his kingdom. So, he prayed to every God he could think of for a way to keep his descendants from ever turning Valdemar into a place like the Eastern Empire. His prayers were answered in the form of magical beings called Companions that took the form of horses. The Companions could, for lack of a better explanation, see inside people's souls. And each Companion would Choose one person to bond with. The people Chosen by Companions became known as Heralds, and it was made law that the Monarch and the Heir had to also be Heralds. They had to have a Companion vouching for them that they were good people.

As time went on, eventually Companions started being conceived and born like normal horses (it eventually is learned that they are in fact reincarnated Heralds) instead of just magically appearing fully grown in the Grove where the first Companions appeared - with one exception. The Gods, taking the adage "heavy is the head that wears the crown" to heart, decided that there needed to be a special Herald. One that could be the monarch's confidant and chief advisor. That Herald was chosen by the Gods themselves by being Chosen by a special Companion - a stallion that magically appears in the Grove rather than being born. That herald was called the Monarch's Own, and there are a lot of rights and responsibilities that go with that title. (And I am totally going to have to reread the Arrows trilogy where all of this is explained to Talia, because I'm a bit fuzzy on most of it.)

Which brings us to the plot of my fic. Anthony is the king. Violet had been Edmund's Monarch's Own, and was now Anthony's. Which... is not actually working out so well. Violet's Companion dies (not sure how, but since that's backstory I'll deal with it later). Everyone expects the new Grove-born to Choose her, again (except Benedict who can see how strained Anthony's and Violet's relationship is and thinks it might be him who is Chosen instead. (Yes, a grove-born CAN Choose someone who is already a Herald. I don't know what happens to their first Companion in those cases. It doesn't matter for my story.)) Instead, Newton goes on Search and comes back with none other than Kate Sharma. Kate, for her part, assumes the Companion is there for Edwina and is quite surprised when he Chooses her, instead.

I'm really looking forward to exploring all the family and relationship dynamics as they play out in this setting. I think it's going to be quite interesting.

Now I get to decide what everybody's Gifts are. And decide who among the spouses and other characters we know are Heralds, and what they do if they are not. This is going to be fun.

[maymeowmoo]

Felt like writing about my OCs a bit so yeah~

As you probably noticed I tend to use one of my two OCs to represent myself. The actual character for drawing myself (ig?) is this purple little ghost thingy! I uhh never gave ‘em a official name but they do represent me so idk naming them differently than what I name myself would be kinda odd >.<

The other two are original characters that are supposed to represent a certain aspect of me~ As seen in my first post, Maroon is the representation of my intrusive thoughts while Noble is the ahem ‘Cringe' part of me.

Maroon was actually created wayyy before this blog. Their original purpose was to be a villain in a really edgy Pokémon fanfiction I wanted to make. I never really got around to writing it (for the better tbh). Later on I always cast them as the villain in any made up story I created since well… I needed one and Maroon fit the role. After awhile I realized Maroon was created specifically to satisfy my intrusive thoughts and scenarios, and here we are now ^v^ The whole reason this blog was created are those thoughts so yeah.

Cringeness was created specifically for this blog~ After I decided ‘Yeah you’re right inner thoughts I will allow myself to be cringe!’ I made this blog and along with it Noble. Personally when I refer to myself as ‘cringe’ I see it more as a reclaim of the word I guess? Or something like ‘yeah I can be consider cringe by some and that is perfectly fine’. I guess Cringeness is a character that is basically ‘accepting the part of me that can be considered odd by some’. Fun fact: I was also gonna use them as a Villain for an AU originally but decided against it =u= OH! + Their name is a mix of Cringe & Empress UvU/

Design wise I decided to make Cringeness the exact opposite of Maroon. They are rounder and more feminine unlike Maroon who is more masculine and sharper. Oh! I also wanna add how I intentionally made Maroons eyes have long eyelashes while Cringeness basically has none =o=/ Whenever I draw ‘em I always make sure to draw this part correctly!

Uhm… That is it for now, maybe I’ll make another post in the distant future about my OCs that is more comprehensible /ᐠ｡ꞈ｡ᐟ\ Ty if u read this, idk if what I wrote made any sense whatsoever but I hope it did. I know I can write a bit chaotically at times XD

[zot3-flopped]

It’s been interesting reading some of the posts about how fans got into Larry or 1 Direction or Harry and commenting on how silly the Larry stuff looks for certain people. I have a different sort of journey – I',m 62 and was in a car accident about 4 months ago and have been in a rehab facility for a leg/hip injury. I’m fine, it’s just really boring, I’m lucky I wasn’t hurt worse and lucky I have access to good care. My kids started sending me videos of things I would enjoy and one of my daughters sent me the video of Harry/Lizzo at Coachella. I loved it and started looking through other links and really found myself enjoying Harry’s music. I did not really know much about Harry or 1 Direction other than my 3 daughters were crazy for them back in the day – and they all still really love Harry. They saw him in Chicago last year in fact. Anyway, with lots and lots of time on my hands, I have gone all the way down the crazy rabbit hole. I’ve read proofs and debunks, and I even listened to the “Shit Larries Say” podcasts.

I can’t even believe the level of delusion that some of these fans have – and it does seem to frequently be linked to some type of mental illness, or just an emptiness in their lives. I had 2 teenage boys as well, and yes – they acted just like that sometimes. It’s standard behavior. And it seems like all the band members engaged it in at times. So much of all of this seems to be people ignoring the simplest explanation, and reaching for the most convoluted option.

I’ve also had some relatives get caught in the Trump/QAnon cult and it’s very similar. There is NOTHING you can say to change their minds. Everything you bring up is just twisted into PROOF. Reading some of the Larry comments on Twitter yesterday after Louis tweets sounded exactly like that.

I can’t say I have an interest in the other band members – I enjoy some of the One Direction music, but none of them really hold much interest for me. As I said, my daughters all still really like Harry, and it’s been fun to talk to them about it and how much they used to love One Direction. None of them really follow the other guys much - all 3 of them said that Louis was their least favorite at the time. They had all heard about Larry, but never really believed it. It seems for them, their enjoyment of Harry has really moved past One Direction, and they really appreciate his solo career now. They are 26 - 31 now and I think Harry has been able to mature with his audience, as opposed to just servicing teenage girls forever. My youngest did tell me that when I get home to go look in the closet of her old bedroom – she’s pretty sure there’s a One D shrine in there! Haha! I am getting out in a week thank goodness – but I’ll still be listening to Harry’s music and looking forward to his next recording very much. Anyway, I’ve enjoyed your blog and posts very much and wanted to say thanks!

I'm so glad that Harry (and this blog) added some cheer to your time recovering from your accident. So much painful physio needed after a broken leg and hip. My mum broke her arm and shoulder a year ago and still doesn't have much movement.

Your point about your teenage children made me realise that I should have clarified that the majority of the 'big Larries' inventing the theories were nearly all women without kids so their only reference point was their own childhoods in the No Homo 1980s.

[regretevator-sysfessions]

Get to know us!!

Good day once again! We decided to make a small post so you guys know what to expect of us! Just the ones of us listed in this blog's intro post will be here.

Let's go!

👾 || Gradient

Pronouns: it/its

Any typing quirks?: It writes Zs instead of Ss!

Full introduction sheet:

Extra: he is mostly nonverbal, and tends to speak rather monotonously if he isn't! It enjoys brainrot content, and has watched part of skibidi toilet, unfortunately... and documented it. He's pretty chill, overall, and completely safe to interact with, but be gentle at times, especially when it comes to tone, it can misunderstand it easily and take it as a personal attack. He won't retort, though.

🛹 || Kasper

Pronouns: he/him

Any typing quirks?: He uses leetspeak to write, but will gladly provide translation in case someone can't read. In fact, we will always provide a translation when he posts, just in case anyone isn't able to read leet. We understand it's hard!

Full introduction sheet:

Sheet translation:

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ ɪɴꜰᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ

❀ kasper! ༄ [he/him]

❀ dunnoo... (This is outdated! He's 17 ^^)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ꜱʏꜱᴛᴇᴍ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛᴇᴅ

➤ S; regretevator

➤ Sourcetalk? yes!

➤ R; dunnoo...

➤ Sourcemates? sure >w<

➤ Doubles? mhmmm :3

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ʙᴏᴜɴᴅᴀʀɪᴇꜱ

✦ Interaction? yes! fun!

✦ Flirting? sure xD

✦ Touch? YEAH!!!!

✦ Nicknames? mhm :3

✦ Teasing? i'll tease back

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ ᴇxᴛʀᴀ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ

「i cri everytim :( ALSO!! TYPING QUIRK!! will translate if asked :3 might also say triggering stuff, in that case just tell me off!」

Extra: he's mostly safe to interact with, but do so with caution, he's prone to spiraling a lot. We try to keep him in check as much as possible, of course, so nothing bad happens

💡|| Köttbullar/Lampert

Pronouns: it/he

Any typing quirks?: No, but he will refuse to speak English

Full introduction sheet:

Extra: he can understand English, but simply refuses to speak it. Of course, a translation will always be provided by the next fronter. Just like Gradient, he's extremely monotonous in his speech, but he's completely verbal unless heavily distressed. It's safe to interact with it, but it can be very blunt at times. Keep in mind, it means no harm at all. Oh, also, it likes meatballs. He wants that to be very clear

🪵 || Mark

Pronouns: he/him

Any typing quirks?: Not really! He just uses proper grammar and stereotypical southern speech

Full introduction sheet:

Extra: he's a nice guy, trust me on that! He's really sociable and will give a hand to those in need if asked. He's also kind of a moron and almost completely unserious in normal, everyday situations, but we love him anyway

🪶 || NULL

Pronouns: it/he

Any typing quirks?: Proper grammar, spaces between punctuation

Full introduction sheet:

Extra: he uses the pronoun "we" when referring to itself! In case he posts, though, he WILL specify whether it means itself or our system. It's usually extremely straightforward, and doesn't display much emotion, but I can assure everyone that he's safe to interact with and VERY useful. It started helping us a lot basically right as soon as it formed

🎉 || Poob

Pronouns: he/they

Any typing quirks?: None!

Full introduction sheet:

Extra: doesn't come by a lot, but they're almost hyperactive, in a way... probably the nicest guy you'll ever meet! Often makes typos... don't let their intro sheet fool you

🧱 || Wallter

Pronouns: he/him

Any typing quirks?: Proper grammar

Full introduction sheet:

Extra: hey, it's me! I don't really know what to say about myself... I try my best to be as kindhearted as I can. I enjoy interaction lots, too, and I'll help as much as I can if needed :) I'm just... here, mostly, not much to say about me, haha!

Also, have the reveal of every Regretevator fictive we have!

We're pretty sure all the other mannequins that aren't Mark, Jimmy or Glevil aren't active anymore, since they likely split off the former after he went through a very stressful time period.

Fleshy isn't included in the blog, because it can't speak anything other than nonsense, just as in source.

Pilby only came by when they formed, and never really fronted, only lurked in co-front or co-consciousness.

PC, TV, Zachary, and Zee are the guys that want to be included but are uncertain because they source from a specific Regretevator fanfic,, again, one day they'll decide if they actually want to be involved or not, we'll leave them all the time they want!!

Another thing, which is very important!

Though most of our boundaries state that we're comfortable with flirting, please do not make any move on us! We have a partner system we love very much, and the flirting info we put in our SP/PK introduction sheet are mainly meant to let THEM know! Thank you in advance :)

[occult-roommates]

Rudi turns 27 today!

Another birthday post, and the penultimate one. This time it's the alt werewolf of San Mysh (nobody has ever called them like that), Rudi. Yippee. Fun fact times idk.

Their full legal name is Rudder Ezra Marron Lopez. The Lopez part is actually from their step-dad, rather than their biological father, and this is because they changed it for their step-dad's name in exchange for him paying the name change...Especially since it was their second name change after going as Luna for a while, but when they realized they're nonbinary instead of a trans woman, they didn't liked it. They got Rudder cause like it's a random word it's not used for men or women, but they liked that it was kinda provocative to go as Rudi in day to day life since it's a boy name, and Ezra is also a masculine name, but neither are like obviously super masc like I don't know...Michael. Rudi and Ezra are also four letters long like Luna and their deadname...which I'm not telling you what it was, it's none of your business.

Also, since they're a native speaker of German and Spanish, not English, they don't really use neutral pronouns in those languages. In German, they go exclusively with the feminine words and in Spanish, they alternate between masculine and feminine one. I know there's some attempt at making neutral pronouns for people in those languages (especially German since neuter form for objects already exist), but being consistent is for coward.

They have a very large wardrobe, unironically I don't know how it fits in the apartment with the clothes of all the other roommates, but they don't spent that much money on it. Like 80% of it is thrifted and the other 20% they do it themselves...by which I mean Daniele does most of the work because he knows how to sew, while Rudi tells him what to do. Also this aspect of their character is pretty much cause I enjoy using them like a little pixel fashion doll. A sort of 3.5 bonus facts, the other reason why I've switched up their outfits so much throughout the story is because since season 1, they have gained like a fuckton of weight and there is no way that realistically they could fit into their season 1 clothes. Yes it's a Sims it doesn't have to be realistic in that regard but I don't care. It's not like I put in any effort to keep them skinny or make them thin again and I'm not gonna manually change it back. If they're fat now well they're fat now (insert the shrugging emoji here). This is what happen when you move from Germany to the US I guess.

Well, these are super long and detailed compared to the others. That is a subtle reference to the fact since I'm working on this blog again and now feel motivated to write, I brainstormed the fun facts in advance instead of forcing myself to come up with them on the spot while making the post. Yes, there are actual posts in the queue scheduled for this week. What, it's only been since...November of 2023...Oof. Also Rudi might be my favorite roommates which is why I rambled to much.

All of this to say, Happy Birthday Rudi 🥳

[lforlola]

Two Posts About Two Women (2)

The second woman I want to acknowledge is my عمتى نرمين. I want to document in this post few words about my paternal aunt. Firstly, I started spending more time with my aunt after her husband passed away when her kids where no older than primary 4 and 6 and our families started spending more time together (mama w baba w ana, and then when my sister was added to the family, along with my aunt, sara, and amira). Family dynamics, all cliches, and all small details aside it was very easy to observe that my aunt and I genuinely connected as a woman and a young girl. She truly loves me, and she has a general but genuine soft spot for me since forever. I will mention two situations that are of specific importance to me in reference to the latter statement.

The first situation: One time we were all visiting another family member and my aunt and her children were going to stay over at their place and my parents were coming over to take me back home. When it was time for me to leave, sara w amira went all like ehna hanbat w enty la HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it is funny now and back then I forgot as soon as I went home l rkhama dy (Y) bs eday2t sa3tha gdan walahy brdo. Anyway, my parents and I went back to our home and two hours or something after the door rang (it was around 1:00 or 2:00 AM) It was my aunt, sara, and Amira. It was a genuine surprise for various reasons, a happy surprise because I liked having them around and I will never forget my aunt telling me "Ehna gena 3shan rakhmo 3aleky" ❤️❤️ she was saying the truth.

The second situation: Another time I was an early teen, and we were having my aunt and my cousins over; we were sitting just chilling, I looked at my aunt only to find her looking at me like I am the most beautiful thing she has ever laid eyes upon. It was one of the early moments I experienced the positive feeling of having someone who is not you look at you with your eyes. Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I was a very beautiful girl. My aunt loving act reminded me in the present of the moment of something I genuinely believed to be true about myself and I am still beyond thankful for this moment and for her beyond measure. I will be a 70-year-old woman, and I will be thankful my aunt looked at me like I am the most beautiful girl ever back when I was an early teen.

All in all, for this point having 3amty Nermin around was very useful to the family mix I had around me growing up. My father did a good job being family for my cousins as well with the support of my loving mother. And I know for a fact that my cousin sara is always saying 5alo khaled this and 5alo khaled that in her random conversations the same way I always talk well about my aunt 😂😂😂. Also, when sara and amira were teens, it could easily be perceived how positively influenced they were by my mum. For them she was cool tante Abeer and they genuinely liked her; up until now on various occasions we would be sitting, and I observe a situation or anything and I just know that this is my own mother's influence on those girls :D. (Fun fact: both my cousins are geminis like my mum)

Back to my beautiful aunt, I state in this acknowledgment what would be very stupid to argue against fact that 3amty Nermin is a human of true faith, a beautiful woman, a wonderful mum, and an adorable paternal aunt. She put a little bit of her personality and a lot of soul in her communication with me and in that sense, it always feels like I know her like the back of my hand, and she feels the same way about me as well which is hilarious because none of us really know the other that well. Finally, I think in a perfect world a woman like the beautiful Nermin Abbass Abdelmagid deserved nothing less than a successful happy marriage. A marriage life where her husband would be head over heels for her intellect, feminine essence, and everything else. A husband that would always be inspired by her being herself and always strive to be a better person only to be a better man for her and her kids. And a husband who is a real man that always provided a safe space for her to be completely herself and grow more as a woman.

[caffeinated-beveraged]

Since I’m posting here again, I thought might as well post my old art. And by post, I mean roast because this whole thing is rawer than a freshly butchered chicken 💀 Roast under cut

Context: this comic was for a culminating art project. The theme for the culminating was mythology. I spent a majority of time given floundering around between options before settling on the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. No reason for choosing them in particular, they were just the first myth I thought of when thinking of classic Greek myths. Also I just reworded the myth from some random site, so I have no idea if my comic has inaccuracies.

The only real hurdle I had to face for this project was drawing humans. I had little experience with humans prior to this project. All the other projects we did for that art class were mainly still lifes and drawing buildings with respect to perspective. For projects that were more open in terms of the subject matter, I tried my hardest to avoid drawing a person. So with this project I was starting from square 1. Now, a person with a modicum of common sense would logically start this project a week before the deadline so they don’t submit the equivalent of a stick figure. Unfortunately I am not one with common sense. Instead I decided to start the project the Sunday evening before the due date 💀 Completely avoidable pain and torture that could had been averted had it not been my inability to keep a consistent schedule.

Anyways, let’s analyze the panels themselves. Here we have panel 1. Right off the bat, literally none of the words in the caption match what’s being depicted. What do you mean conscious objects??? There is literally nothing there!!! Just an ugly ass rainbow (with no colours I might add) in the background with Orpheus playing a few notes. This guy has nothing: no colour, no mystical beings, no conscious objects, no neck. This is just the consequence of running out of time. The only real improvement I’d make here is add more to the background. Not just with characters but also colour. Now not everything has to be in colour to look good. I think a majority of the panels are fine without colour as it is consistently used for the most part. But I did add some colour to the emotionally intensive scenes so it just makes this panel (which should be showing Orpheus’ extraordinary talent) look odd and out of place.

Oh boy panel 2. We get introduced to Eurydice and my god does she look awful. That hair just looks weird, it looks like I just scratched a few lines and called it a day. Also that typo is killing me…

Skipping the 3rd panel as I don’t have much to say. Anyways panel 4, Aristaeus being murder happy. Fun fact: I actually used a reference for Aristaeus so it doesn’t look too shabby. I honestly forget to use references for poses, not because I think I’m better than them, I often have a specific pose in mind and have a tough time finding a pose online that matches what I have in mind. For this one, I used a reference of myself which turned out nicely.

Eurydice cringefail moment. Imagine dying to a snakebite couldn’t be me. I like the aforementioned use of colour, just wish it was more saturated. I also like the blood stains. That’s all I have to say for these panels. … ok fine let’s address the elephant in the room. Eurydice has four toes. For some reason during this time period I could only draw rubberhouse style hands with 4 fingers. Which looks fine on a cartoony style but looks strange on the semi-realistic style I was going for. I guess that translated in the toes as well. Phalange are phalange I guess.

I’m just gathering all 3 of these panels and putting my thoughts on them together since this post is getting quite long. The 1st panel looks kind of bland, hardly any emphasis on Orpheus’ loss. Just some rain and a flat rectangle which is supposed to be the gravestone I guess. 2nd panel honestly looks pretty great, with out of doubt my favourite panel. The scratchy cross-hatching with the pen looks great. I also like Orpheus’ lyre attached to back (have no idea how it’s attached) And finally the 3rd panel! Oh lord… It kind of speaks for itself. I think the weirdly defined knuckles just make the hands look short and sausage-y. Also Hades hand’s actually have five fingers on them 🎉🎉 The pinkie is shoved awkwardly to the side but it’s still there so I take it as a victory

Skipped the weird chibi looking panel for post length sake. Consistency has utterly left the room this time. I was literally finishing this comic in the last ten minutes of art class 💀 also we do not talk about what’s going on with Orpheus’ and Eurydice’s hands

95% of the budget (and my pen ink) went into drawing Orpheus’ curls. Would ancient Greeks even have this hair phenotype I have no clue I am losing my mind. Also where did Orpheus’ lyre go. Consistency is my arch nemesis apparently. Honestly these panels are not too bad. Orpheus is looking a bit cross eyes in that 1st panel but otherwise it looks fine

Overall this comic is fine, nothing to write home about though. For a first real go at drawing humans it’s great. But the real thing that brings this comic down is just the lack of consistency and overall messiness. You can see on some of the panels I forgot to erase the pencil underneath. Mainly this is due to my lack of forward planning. I mean I got a passing grade and got the credit for this course so it’s a win I guess. I’m really interested in revamping this comic for fun one day, just to see how I’ve improved. Definitely on digital though. Stay tuned in for that in the unforeseen future👀

[wopersonal]

Let me tell you about that thing that happened a few weeks ago and that I promised some nice people on the internet I would write down in more detail than Twitter permits.

Since none of us was there for all of this, I’ve put the following together from the memories of three people.

Once again, my partner (F) and I were traveling with a very good friend (referred to as a Long Streak of Nothing – LSN) in the somewhat amusing constellation of being friends but also having them as our boss and client, and us being paid for stepping in if they’re about to do something ill-advised and making sure they’re getting through the weekend in one piece and, ideally, not coming out any worse for wear at the other end.

This particular situation vaguely started as we were doing our first day in the event, which was going reasonably smoothly for us while LSN had some fun trolling a buddy of theirs (not really my problem, if they’re saying he’ll be fine with it then I’m going to believe that until and unless proven differently). Among the event-typical issues that are barely avoidable, one thing stood out repeatedly: One of the other guests (G) didn’t seem to get along great with his assistant.

That’s where things are starting to get difficult for me as I have to keep reminding myself – not my circus…

Now, usually, we’re booked to provide the Pas (personal assistants) for the entire event and I’m located somewhere between team management and team lead – and in any case in a place where my job would include going over and asking if things are quite alright or if we need to swap PAs around in this that sort of situation. I’ve certainly done that in the past with other people.

In this case, we’re not part of the event operation as such, but ONLY LSN’s privately hired PAs, brought along because they have reasons to have little trust in the staff provided by the promoter. So a.) this is none of my business and b.) interfering with a running event as an outsider generally is NOT a great idea.

So the only thing to do is pull myself together – though in particular in light of the fact that G. is dealing with a body rendered widely uncooperative by a stroke suffered in the past and, for particular reasons had some more than usual difficulties controlling his own wheelchair that weekend, meaning that he had to doubly rely on his “PA”’s cooperation, there were a few moments where I was rather close to getting up and asking some questions after all. That’s the sort of situation where you just NEED a good fit – and when it’s my job to make sure that everyone has a PA by their side that they are comfortable with, that’d be the sort of situation I would have an extra-close eye on. As it is, I make myself stay put and remind myself G. is all grown up and likely perfectly well able to handle the situation. And anyway, most likely he’s bringing his own staff just as LSN does, and quite honestly, the way we interact with them isn’t always the most professional when viewed from the outside. We’ve been chastised by promoter’s staff for our way of talking to them before, too (needlessly so, but of course the promoter did not have any way of knowing that we’re not just hired staff but rather bordering on found-family-adopted siblings… which, yes, causes our interaction to be a good deal less professional than it would be with someone who’s “just” a client.)

From the beginning, our plan had been spending the night out in a pub with LSN’s previously-trolled buddy (B) and at least one of his local friends (Basti), with the latter choosing the pub. B’s extended the idea that – “the more the merrier” - we should use the big dinner to ask around and see who else might like to join us. Alright then.

The event closes for the day and we have the option of either going to hunt our own food or to joint the big pre-organized dinner for all staff. That’s where we go with B, sitting at a table with some of B’s colleagues who immediately agree to come along to the pub later. At one point, G. and his “PA” come in. They sit at a small table off to the side where they’re on their own. The three of us exchange some looks. It seems weird, but … circus and all of that. Surely he’ll speak up if he doesn’t want to do it that way, right?

At one point, B. loudly asks if anyone else would like to join us. Apart from his colleagues, there’s one other couple raising their hands – and so is G. His “PA” immediately starts gesturing “no” at him. Still not our circus. We nod his way, briefly go through the relevant items mentally: are we going to need an additional car due to greater space requirement, where to park for getting in, B., can you text Basti and ask if the pub is properly accessible, and if it isn’t to find another one? Thanks.

As the dinner is drawing to a close and everyone’s just sitting there chatting anymore, we decide it’s about time for us to get going. In 20 minutes, maybe? At this point, G. is sitting at his table all on his own. F. goes over to tell him we’re about to get ready to leave. He comes back to tell us that G. says he’s not coming but “it felt off”. Could one of us go over and ask (F.’s English is fine but he’s not a native speaker and he’s not always very confident in his language skills).

LSN gets up and goes over, half-expecting G. to simply be completely done in after a day of working the event – but he isn’t. If anything, he’s amused by the degree of exhaustion that bit of event is causing in several of the “Young People”. LSN asks if G. isn’t feeling like hanging out with us “Young People” then. G. says no of course that wouldn’t be a problem. LSN promises to shut up and leave if told to, but expresses some confusion about the change of decision, if G. isn’t tired and doesn’t mind the company. G. gives him a look and points out that “well, USUALLY the idea is that people ask [him] but it’s tacitly understood that [he] will decline so as to avoid giving anyone the feeling they’re excluding [him] on purpose and still not being in the way.” And that, yeah, he shouldn’t have said “yes” before.

LSN beckons us over, shares that. We make clear that if we’re inviting “free for all” then we MEAN “free for all” and G. is more than welcome to join. I say, maybe a bit impatiently, that really all I need to know is whether to park the car out front (little time to get in) or around the back (plenty of time to get in). G. looks back and forth between us with a sort of “Let’s see how you’ll wriggle out of this one” look and says: “Around the back.”

It’s sometime between 7:30 and 8 PM at this point, by the way.

People pack up. B. and I go to get the cars.

In the meantime, G’s “PA” returns, finds out that there has been a “change of plan” and goes OFF: No, there is NO WAY G. can come along with us, what an outrageous idea on his side (and ours) and ANYWAY if he’s done eating she’s going to take him to his room and put him to bed now. (All of that loudly in front of everyone still present.)

Erm.

LSN sends F. to go and tell B. and me that it’ll take a while. F., knowing me, tells me that I might want to come back in. B. joins us. We return to LSN and one Tom demonstratively blocking the path to the other door, while G. is trying to argue with his “PA”, who keeps cutting him off (talking is fine; talking *fast* is difficult).

She looks around, looks at ME – maybe because she thinks I look like I might be on her side or maybe because I’m the only other person in the group she thinks she can identify as female, who knows – and says: “Say something!”

There is exactly one thing I have to say in that situation, and I’ll gladly say that loud and clearly: You don’t send an adult person to bed at eight against their will and wish just because it’s convenient for you. Period.

LSN gives me a broad grin and notes that he’s happy to have seen me angry for once.

I inform him that the “escalator” has barely moved yet.

The “PA” points out that *she* wants her well-deserved evening off.

B. tells her in the most annoyed tone that she’s free to do that since she’s neither invited nor needed.

G. points out that she’s actually needed because he’s going to need help with a fuckton of things and won’t be able to get into bed without help later.

Brief coordination leads to the general consensus that we have plenty of people who can help out if he’s comfortable enough with having a total stranger help him. If not, that is, of course, understandable.

G. notes that most of the people present are far less of strangers to him than the lady is since HIS usual assistant had been unable to join him this weekend and this “PA” had been provided by the promoter, apparently hired from some local care agency. (And that explains more than it doesn’t about why things had seemed off – she didn’t have the first idea of *our* sort of job and very little interest in doing *hers* properly). G’s conclusion: Can’t be worse any worse than the last two days, let’s try this.

The ”PA” goes off again, claiming he’s her responsibility, and she couldn’t possibly NOT come along etc. etc.

This gets her exactly the same lecture I would give our own staff in this sort of moment – except that in that case I would have asked them to step outside before laying into them.

While she has a rare speechless moment, B. adds: Stay or come as you like, but *we* are going now.

=> Fast Forward, Pub.

Basti is waiting for us, we quickly explain why we’d taken that long. The “PA” has actually come along and does her best to be in the way.

The first attempt of placing orders is cut short because the waiter at our table clearly has issues with serving a visibly disabled guest. The entirely impossible “What’s he going to have” ends with switch of waiters to someone who is actually willing to do their job properly. (I have very little patience for this sort of thing, and the preceding part of that evening had not helped). Like most of the others, G. is ordering a glass of whiskey. The “PA” immediately cuts him off again, insisting that that’s entirely impossible and of course he can’t have any alcohol! LSN and F. had things to say about my facial expression there afterwards. I look at G., who waves his hand at me and says “Go on!” (at this point it’s clear that I am far harder to cut off or talk over than he is even if the other party is not cooperating).

I ask the “PA” if she’d like to step outside with me quickly.

She all but screams at me that she would certainly not do that, and suspects that I might not want everyone else to hear what I’m going to say to her.

Apart from the fact that they all know exactly what I’m going to say (or at least have a very good idea of it), that was meant to be one last bit of consideration for her rather than tearing her a new one in front of everyone. But I am happy to oblige. [Insert lecture on assistant’s job, decision-making rights of mature adults, limits of assistant’s competencies and a helping of ‘you may get some leeway in terms of enforcing promoter’s rules against your charge’s wishes WITHIN the event but this is not within the event, which means that the only person deciding what G. is doing or not is G. himself – and G’s assistant will either assist or get out of the way. The poor waiter, who was still standing there, may have caught a strongly worded reminder that the things to be served were to be the things ordered by the people who are going to drink them. That one may not have been necessary. Sorry for that. And yes, that is entirely irrespective of my own thoughts about the necessity of alcoholic beverages.] (Also, this was G.’s last day of the event, so the risk of him having to suffer for it the day after was non-existent. Had that been differently, a more diplomatic approach surely would have been in order.)

“PA” leaves, slamming the door behind her. Half an hour later she’s back with one of the promoter’s people who tried to tear into ME … and in return got a detailed breakdown of things going on and being asked if he actually meant to tell us it was fine to impose an 8-PM-curfew on someone or telling them what to order/drink, etc. (G. once again pointed out that he’d already told her that she could have her night off, he’d manage, and that she wasn’t in any manner required to hang out with us here). At that point, the promoter’s rep pulled her outside for a talk and then apparently left, while she came back and sat at a different table, casting dark glances at us for the rest of the night.

The thing I find the most shocking about the entire evening is G. saying at one point that that was the first time in a decade or so that he was just spending a night out in the pub with people for other than work reasons.

(There were some more bits following that, but that’s another story, to be told another day).