sixtysomethingtenyearold

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

Connor ("the admin" as we sometimes call him) is taking a break from Tumblr, and therefore asks will not be answered for a while. You're free to send them and interact as you would normally, responses will come some other time.

Time in the ask blog is now Frozen! Nothing will happen from now until my return.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

So, Grauntie Mabel and Grunkle Dipper, any first impressions? What bodily pains are you experiencing right now? Is the weight of responsibilities and taxes crushing you?

Also, Stanley and Stanford, how does it feel to be the niblings now? To be carefree and not have to worry about the all existential question of "What are we gonna prepare for dinner?" ? (Although I suppose you have a bedtime so I guess you win some you lose some...)

(I feel like this is gonna be a great opportunity to learn about being in each other's shoes, or if not, at least it'll be family bonding...)

I.. I..

My bones hurt..

I shouldn't have complained about being ten..

Today has been filled with nothing but joy and mirth for Stanley and I! Mostly mirth directed toward our- pfft- Grauntie and- HAH- our Grauntie and Grunkle!

HAHAHA!! Oh, that is good! You're old and we're young! I feel so fucking jovial!

Hey, no swearing. Did I just- did I just tell you off for swearing!? Oh, god, that's an adult thing to do! SOMEONE HELP!!

AAAAA! We're screaming again, right?

I GUESS SO!

Heh, they're not going to survive adulthood.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

(deep in thought) We need more adults around here! Mabel and Dipper are now grunkle age for a few asks lol.

Dipper and Mabel are now Old!

...

[SCREAM]

Dipper! My face! Is it bad!?

You're so wrinkly!

You look like Grunkle Ford!

AAA!!

WAAAAUGH!!!

Heheh. Old.

Haha.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

hi :( it’s me :( jellybean pipebomb anon :( I feel bad, Ford can have his jellybeans now :(

also give them a blanket and hot coco, extra marshmallows, and turn on lord of the rings or whatever :( I’m sorry stans :(

..oh! This is a lot better than a pipe bomb!

...

GIVE ME THOSE JELLYBEANS!!!

NOW THAT YOU CAN HAVE THEM I WANT THEM

WELL-

[Blanket dropping noise]

[Demon children instantly mellow out in the presence of warmth]

..Share the jellybeans?

Share the jellybeans.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

whoa so anons can do anything I hear??? Uhhh I throw two bags of jelly beans (one regular assorted, one all coffee flavored) directly at Stanley’s head and forbid Ford from having any. Or else pipe bomb.

(who am I Kidding Ford would totally explode himself for jellybeans. hmm..) pipebomb for STAN. >:))

hahaha SUFFER CHILDREN

[SMACK]

ow- what the heck was that for!? ..Ooh, jellybeans!

Jellybeans!? I want- oh. Pipe bomb.

HAH! Guess I get these all to myse- WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GET BLOWN UP!? Ford's the one who likes these, you're just being a jerk! ..I mean, I was gonna eat some just to be a jerk but I was gonna give him some!

Why are Anonymous Users so cruel!?

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

HAHAHAHHAAA MAN IT WAS WORTH A SHOT

YOU’RE ALREADY LOSING CUSTODY OF THE KIDS SOON I WREAKED ENOUGH HAVOC I’M OUT FOR THE DAY

— Chaos Anon

I really don't like you. You fucking suck.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

I was told this is a funny number. Haha. Sixty nine. That is one less than seventy.

I don't get it.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

wow what a sane family we got here! we got the anxious mess, sparkly walking disaster, mad scientist and con man. I swear the only reason you guys are alive is because of plot armor.

Haha, yes, pretty much.

Anon's got a point.

Oh, definitely.

Our lives are a nightmare.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

hows the minification?? (to... mostly everyone but mainly stanley :D) are you guys having fun or are you in distress? or both???

I mean, the house ain't exploded yet.. and I'm startin' to forget what constant joint pain feels like! Never gonna fully forget that shit but I'll take what I can get!

Plus, this time around Ford isn't too busy studying to play. 'Til we remembered Dipper and Mabel exist we were running around doing dumb shit all day. So, uh, only distress on my end is the fact that we've got responsibility. Dipper's kinda got this thousand yard stare goin' on, though..

Day two of the Kidpocalypse. No end in sight. I saw ten year old Toby Determined today.. [shudder]

Dipper's being dramatic, this is fun! Grenda and Candy and I did his makeup!

Everyone is enduring the same torment as me, I personally am absolutely manic! Suffer! Suffer like me! Heheh- ahaha- HAH!! [Eye twitch]

They should have kept me in therapy.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

hm..I wonder if their are ways to get their maturity to kick in gear..*Idea* Im gonna blow the shack up with the kids inside! Im an anon you know I can do it.

(not really just want to be evil and see their reactions)

WHAT!?

You can't- you can't just do that!

Can't they!? One of them cursed the entire town in the first place!

HOW!?

ASK THEM! We have to get the kids out of there- shit.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

No longer playing the "Look at me I'm so mature as a 10-year-old because I'm actually 60" game now that your brother is also a kid again with you 'ey Stanford?

..Nope! We slept in a box last night! And meowed at a cat! And fed a dead mouse to it! And- holy shit we have children to take care of. We have to get home now.

wha..? I thought we were gonna go to the par- THE KIDS THEY HAVEN'T HAD BREAKFAST OR DINNER OR PROBABLY WENT TO BED FORD WE'RE GONNA LOSE CUSTODY IF WE KEEP THIS UP

OH MY STARS WE'RE GOING TO LOSE CUSTODY WEHAVETOLEAVENOWGOODBYE

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

Stanley. Ensure your brother isn't around to hear this one. I need you to go downstairs to the basement, alright? Down there is a pretty little snowglobe. I need you to break it. There's someone trapped inside who can help you.

-- Chaos Anon

Damnit! I thought you actually meant that! Hey- hey Connor!

haha fourth wall break what's up

Can you blow this guy up?

nah they're on anon

..Could you if they weren't?

i mean bombs are expensive man it's not in the budget

You know exactly who you're saying that to. I've blown things up for under fifty bucks.

fair point but like i cant just explode random internet people

[Sigh.] Alright, alright, fine, I'll do it the coward way. HOW DUMB DO YOU THINK I AM!? I AM NOT DOING THAT!!

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

...Hold on, how's Pacifica doing? Is she coping well? (...I can't imagine her parents at that age-)

Oh, and Candy and Grenda?? Maybe the girls should take advantage of the situation to have the best & longest sleepover ever! Or cause other types of mischief, I'm all for it.

My parents? They've just been running around trying to find someone to fix them. I guess my mom's worried about not looking like a wax figure anymore..? She didn't even look bad when she was ten. Just like she hadn't had plastic surgery yet.

And my Dad is going nuts. But, you know, he's ten, so I've just letting the butlers take care of it. I think I'm gonna get a ride to the shack and see how Dipper and Mabel are doing.

..Ugh, everyone's ten, who am I gonna get a ride from!? I am not walking on that dirt road!

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

WHAT EVERYONES SMALL??? (I swear I don’t check this blog for a DAY and fords found himself in a new batch of shit.) Though this does seem like a marked improvement for him now that Stan’s tiny to. As someone who has been wanting more chaos ten year old Stan twin shenanigans since day one I see this as an absolute win

go out spread whimsy and terrorize the town my favorite little shits, here’s ten bucks and a snickers from my pocket- …….

good children, good. Keep that up.

Oh, boy, ten bucks! Gimmegimmegimme!

Stanley, we don't need money, we've been living like it's the purge.

You didn't say that when I pocketed that lady's wallet.

Well- that's because of the thrill of the hunt! This is just being given to us.

You can have the Snickers bar.

You've convinced me, but we're splitting the money.

What!? I never agreed t-

Too late! [MUNCH]

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

*To Stan and Ford probably*

Hi guys ! So uh, I heared you are ten years old ? It's funny, cause I'm almost the same age. I'm pretty mature tho, I mean, I'm ten and a half so... Anyways, I heared you two enjoyed mistery ? Would you like to uh- hang out ? I mean, I'm the coolest ten year old and a half you'll find around, a-and even in the whole world ! I'm like peta cool.

So ?

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Ford reaches out to take their hand, but his arm falls just short and drops to his side. Closest thing you're getting to a handshake from this traumatized muppet.

Stan, on the other hand, slaps theirs in a high-five and shoots them a finger gun.

Hey, fellow ten year old! This is the best.. how's it hangin'? uh.. bein' small, huh? Crazy. Ford it's been a while since I've been ten what do I do.

Do you think I know? Just talk to them like a normal person.

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

Stan and Ford don't forget about your duties as parents the kids have not seen you all day. Dippers even worried at least let them know!

Stan and Ford aren't here right now.

[Jovial giggling]

But if Stanford was here, he'd say that there's lasagna in the fridge and the stepstool is tall enough for them to reach the microwave.

Shh. We're sleeping outside tonight. Don't tell anyone.

Because we can! I ain't even gonna wake up with a backache! ..maybe you should tell the kids about the lasagna, though.

Mhm, the lasagna. We had cosmic brownies for dinner.

We stole 'em.

[More giggling. These little shits]

[sixtysomethingtenyearold]

Welp the towns most likely gonna blow up in a few minutes lol

Uh, not really, no. For context, guys- this ask was hours ago. Mabel and I took a walk around town, it looks like everyone's.. used to it? They're just going about their days like nothing happened, I even watched officer Blubs (I think? It's hard to tell who everyone is now) try to arrest someone.

What's weird is that I haven't seen Stan and Ford anywhere pretty much all day. They're probably fine, it's not like it's the apocalypse out there or anything, I just.. I don't know, they're usually home by now. I'm a little scared.

Maybe being ten has something to do with it. Yawn.. I'm going to bed.

6/10