#also for martha wayne you totally get it

[starry-bi-sky]

just wanted to say that your thomas wayne au is making me swoon - baby bruce is the most adorable baby ever and they love each other so much 😭

(I saw you mentioned them meeting canon dc and I think everyone of the batfam would be unwillingly won over by this adorable baby and their grandad (and adult bruce would either be paralysed by emotion or start crying or both)) (and maybe there is no martha wayne, simply thomas and alfred raising the cutest and most troublesome baby 😏)

Aaaaahhh I'm so glad you like it 🥺 i love making aus that have the emotional effect of a gut punch on the Bats 🥰 its why 'Danny being a variant of Jason' is such a fun little au I have that I haven't shared here since its pretty convoluted imo.

And i absolutely agree you have it down pat that the canon DC Batfam would be unwillingly won over by Baby Bruce and Danny/Thomas frfr. Danny is so protective and affectionate with his little guy, and I have a personal headcanon that he teaches Bruce how to play piano after discovering an interest in it once he's adopted by the Waynes. (OH and when Bruce is older Danny sits him out in the gardens or on the roofs and shows him how to find constellations)

Danny finds out that the bruce in this world grew up without his parents and starts side-eyeing him HARD bc he wants to be affectionate to this version of His Boy but he doesnt want Bruce to react negatively to it

I'll also tell you a secret: the day Danny and Bruce are transported into the canon universe was the day Danny and Bruce were meant to end up in crime alley :) they were just about to leave the manor.

[radiance1]

Witch au but Sam looks far too much like Martha Wayne than a lot of people are comfortable with.

I hear you ask, "but Sam is younger than her in this au" and I tell you that Martha Wayne had the genetic trait of looking younger than she actually was, a trait that was in her family for generations.

Thus, we have Sam who resembles Martha Wayne far too much, the philosopher's stone that makes her immortal, and a genetic trait that has Martha looking younger than she actually is and you get misunderstandings.

So, Sam was just minding her business trying to figure out what exactly for her castle to be anywhere that wasn't Amity Park when someone stepped onto her property and, getting a feel for them she realized that they don't seem to be magical in nature.

Also, scratch that, it was more than one person.

So, she decided to give them a... 'warm' welcome.

A group of people who believed in the supernatural decided to get together one day to explore the castle that spawned randomly one day in Gotham for shits and giggles. So there they were, stepping through the fog, barely able to see the ground let alone each other.

They had to solve a puzzle for the door to the castle to open in those conditions, which was weird but it was also the fun kind of weird so they weren't complaining about it. When they opened the door it was very dark, which made them second guess themselves for a second and then they decided to step in anyway.

They live in Gotham what's the chances of this castle being worse than what they go through weekly?

The door slammed shut behind them as soon as the last person stepped inside, leaving them in total darkness for a moment before candles lit themselves up and they saw the inside of the castle in its full glory.

It looked, very, very beautiful.

So beautiful in fact, that they almost missed the woman stood at the top of the stairs. She looked very, very beautiful and was wearing a dress that looked very expensive (think Blue Diamond from Steven Universe but black) with a red gem right in the middle of her chest.

The lady welcomed them into her castle, and suddenly they found their vision going back as the woman's sinister chuckle echoed all around them and they found themselves in separate rooms of the house.

Fun fact, this group of people were also streamers and streaming everything up to the point of Sam's entrance and then her magicking them all in different rooms. They also had a pretty good following, so safe to say the chats were going crazy over what just happened.

So, the various live streamers investigate the castle to find a way to escape before their assumed death, they solve various puzzles both with their own wit and the help of their chat that were magical in nature. The various puzzles and traps were, genuinely, very fun to solve, both for the chat and the streamers doing them.

All the streamers manage to meet up again, and boy are they genuinely thankful for the fact that-so far at least, this doesn't seem to actually be anything life threatening and just seemed to be a grand time all around.

Then they all headed down a hall together, and the chat just went absolutely ballistic when they saw a large portrait of the witch and another man standing together and smiling.

The chat never got a good look at her before the streamers got teleported to different rooms, but that painting?

It changed everything.

Because the woman standing in that picture-as pointed out by a chat member, looked an awful lot like Martha Wayne, and the man standing next to her? Thoms Wayne.

The streamers, obviously, think they've hit the jack pot because their viewer count is just going up and up because of this new information and also think they've hit some sort of scandal because, wasn't Martha Wayne dead?

Eventually, the find themselves sitting at the dining table with said woman who was silently drinking tea with a bunch of food sitting on the table in front of them. The woman smirked as she placed down her cup, asking if they enjoyed the various puzzles she laid out for them.

Everyone agrees, and the chat is exploding for them to ask if she's actually Martha Wayne.

She doesn't answer save for a cheeky smile and then suddenly they were standing outside of her castle and couldn't get back in.

Safe to say, reporters were flocking to ask various questions.

[mzminola]

On the one hand yeah, Tim faking a temporary disability to get Vicki Vale off his back as she tries to prove he’s Red Robin is ethically dubious. But like... vision impairments are a disability, which means in continuities where the glasses don’t block out his excessive sensory input and he’s not claiming they’re a fashion statement, Superman is faking a disability every time he goes out as Clark Kent. So if we’re gonna be all “Tim wtf” we should also go “Clark wtf”.

On the much more interesting hand, asplenia is also a disability, which the writers canonically gave Tim. While he totally can be a vigilante with it, he needs to take more precautions than he would otherwise, and it wouldn’t be too hard to convince the general Gotham public that actually no, Tim Drake-Wayne being asplenic means he’s definitely not Red Robin, Vicki, what are you smoking, don’t you know how often the vigilantes get tossed in Gotham Harbor? Do you know what’s in that water?

Which means that now I want an AU in which instead of faking getting shot, Tim just has Wayne Enterprises launch an Asplenia Awareness campaign in conjunction with the Martha Wayne Foundation starting a program to get other asplenic Gothamites their antibiotics, throws a bunch of fundraisers for it, and stares Vicki Vale dead in the eyes while taking his new meds on camera.

[ijustthinkhesneat]

I feel compelled to expand upon the previous fae/folklore! Batboys headcanons:

-Bruce is just a straight up normal human. I think this provides a great opportunity for angst because unlike his immortal? children Bruce does age and it terrifies them. And Bruce is young he’s in his early 30s but like his knees will crack a little or his back is slightly stiff after a bad patrol and it just sends them into a spiral because they cannot fathom their dad not being around forever. I can definitely imagine them trying to strong arm Bruce into becoming some flavor of unaging. You could go super dark or just more generally emotional angst but damn the possibilities.

-Cass is giving me shadow person. Very cryptid of her. I’m not sure that I have a clear backstory for her worked out yet. Either magic gone wrong or she’s another flavor of undead like Jason and Tim. I like to imagine she just hovers over people at night to be creepy.

-Originally I wanted to say Duke was a Will-o-the-wisp. But I’m not really sure it fits, especially since he’s primarily active during the day. Then it hit me. Mothman. My lamplight boy is a moth creature. I like the idea of him hiding his little antenna under a beany and wearing sunglasses. The wings would be difficult. But my boy is creative.

- I think Steph and Barbara are also human like Bruce they just are extra bad ass.

-Coming back to life as a magical creature warps peoples memories and emotions from both the trauma and changing into something not human. Tim is significantly less effected than Jason, at least outwardly, because he was only a toddler when he died so he didn’t have many memories or experiences to draw from, but Jason was super volatile. His memories surrounding Willis became even more dark while his memories of his mother sort of glossed over her absentee parenting and drug use. Jason can’t help but struggle with associating the negative learned experience he had with his first paternal figure with Bruce. Jason ends up going to live with Talia for a while because he doesn’t want to feel that way about his dad anymore.

-Basically I think Jason, at least mentally, is the most human of Bruce’s kids besides Damian because he actually lived a life as a human, where as Tim changed so young that he doesn’t really know how to be anything but his extremely disturbing self.

-I think Gotham just has major ‘I do not see it’ energy. Like The Batfamily? Demons from hell. The Wayne’s? Hot neurodivergent people. Did you see Dick Grayson unhinge his jaw like a fucking snake at a gala? No you didn’t he just has a really big smile. Jason Todd??? Has scales??? Nope actually he just developed early onset Eczema and he’s really self conscious about it how dare you! Tim Drake sucking the blood of the himbo blonde boy? Everyone knows Tim and Bernard are total freaks. Cassandra Cain is your sleep paralysis demon? Honestly fair.

-It’s totally a coincidence that strange misfortune befalls anyone who threatens the Wayne’s!

-Clark is Bruce’s favorite man to sleep on so he gets a pass. I don’t know why but a midwestern spin on the story of princess kaguya lives in my head rent free. Like Martha Kent is just shucking corn and then boom baby in the corn. We call that children of the corn. I still love to imagine him being like so perfect that it’s high key alien, but his little sharp nails and fangies! Maybe even slightly pointy ears. And like Clark fully thinks he is human, like his parents don’t tell him humans can’t fly until he’s in kindergarten, and even then they just tell him he is special and learned super fast and shouldn’t embarrass the other kids and Clark is such a Good BoyTM that he just never uses his powers in public cause he doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. Like bro doesn’t learn he is adopted until he is about to go to college, he is just straight up clueless.

-Clark learns Dick is a Fae creature when Batman brings Robin to the Watchtower cause he couldn’t get a baby sitter and Alfred doing some spooky shit like dusting the mausoleum. Like Batman just slinking around but there is this super colorful child with him. And then Dick turns and smiles and it’s just so wrong, like his mouth just stretching his face like some horror movie shit. Clark almost shots himself cause like what the fuck. Bruce told Dick to just ‘be himself’ so like he just thinks he’s being friendly. Despite being creepy as all hell Clark kinda thinks Dick is super adorable. Like was he spider crawling around the floor with all his limbs bent the wrong way while Bruce and Clark were talking? Yeah but then he just tugged on Bruce’s cape to ask for a juice box, like that’s a baby.

-Jason freaked him out in a different way. Since Jason is undead he doesn’t have a heartbeat and doesn’t need to breath so when he isn’t moving he makes literally zero noise. When he first met Clark he was just watching him from around corners and behind stair banisters and Clark was convinced he was losing his mind and hallucinating the kid from the Grudge. Then Bruce is just like “Oh you met Jason! He’s so sweet, just a little shy. He’s my second oldest! I think he likes you though.” And then a little grey blue slightly webbed hand just reaches around the corner to give a little wave and boom Clark would kill for him.

-Tim is similar in that Clark has trouble pinpointing his location because of a lack of normal bodily functions, but Tim has no idea what a boundary is. So like at first he’s a shy little toddler and then that night he’s crawling all over Clark and pranking him nonstop.

-Damian is a baby but like Clark looked in his eyes and just felt like this infant could see his past present and future and was judging him heavily. Clark was relieved cause at least he had a heartbeat.

-Cass lives to fuck with Clark. She’s Jason’s age but not only has no heartbeat and doesn’t breath, when she is in shadow form he can’t see her with X-ray vision. She can literally make herself undetectable to Superman. He learns this one night sleeping in a guest room at the manor. He gets the feeling he is being watched but can’t find anyone. Then right when he relaxes her arm shoots out from the darkness under his bed and grabs his leg. Clark screams so loud it cracks the window. And then just nearly silent muffled laughter as the arm retreats into the darkness. He X-Ray visions but nothing is there. He demands to stay in Bruce’s room after that. Bruce is just like “Oh that was just Cass. She likes playing practical jokes, she is my little princess!”

[gothamnewsnetwork-official]

Bernard Dowd cheating on Timothy Drake-Wayne and Astra Jordan-Queen with Red Robin?

https://www.tumblr.com/actuallyredrobin/759452099200303104/hi-im-just-here-to-say-im-a-big-fan-of-yours-and?source=share

Just look at the tags, this has happened more than once. and the reblogs..

Trouble in Paradise; Wayne’s finally in their breakup era?

Tonight we bring you not, but two stories of failed romances in the Wayne Family. Our first story up being the potential cheating occurring in the relationships of Wayne Enterprises (see related articles) newest (and youngest) CEO.

Earlier yesterday evening we were made aware of yet another potential scandal in the Wayne family’s love lives; the third Wayne son and current CEO of Wayne Enterprises, Timothy Drake-Wayne ( @timblrdrake ) (see related articles), may be getting cheated on.

The alleged cheater, Bernard Down ( @officialbernarddowd ) (see related articles), has been accused of two-timing both Mr. Drake-Wayne and their partner, Astra Hal-El ( @totally-not-soupernova ) (see related articles), with none other than one of our beloved city’s very own vigilantes.

Who is this masked home wrecker? None other than Red Robin ( @actuallyredrobin ) (see related articles), himself.

The alleged affair between Mr. Dowd and Red Robin has been going on for several weeks now, the earliest mention of it that we were able to find dating back to July this year.

This, however, is not unexpected given Mr. Dowd’s penchant for saying one thing yet doing another. The most recent example of this being his dramatic turn from priesthood in the Children of Dionysus (see related articles) to moonlighting as a Talon (see related articles) for the Court of Owls ( @court--of--owls ) (see related articles), seemingly without either parties prior knowledge.

Though Red Robin is adamantly denying this connection, Mr. Dowd has been unable to comment, neither have either of his partners, Mr. Drake-Wayne and Ms. Hal-El. We only hope that the young throuple are able to resolve this as soon as possible.

Our second story tonight comes from Mr. Bruce Thomas Wayne ( @officialbruciewayne ) (see related articles) himself, and his alleged split with this on-again off-again partner; Selina Kyle ( @selinakyl-ee ) (see related articles).

Their relationship has been known for many years, though when asked neither Mr. Wayne or Ms. Kyle could pinpoint an exact date, not even remembering at what time they met.

This however, is not the focus of our story. As of only a few days ago, the two have been rumoured to have called it quits. The split is, to the public, relatively sudden given their amicability whenever seen in public or asked of one another (see related articles). We sent an intern to interview Mr. Wayne on the matter, his response was greatly illuminating.

When asked on the nature of the split, Mr. Wayne stressed the fact that the breakup was mutual and that the two are still close. That being said he also found it prudent to mention that it was no fault of Ms. Kyle’s, stating directly -

“ It ended because she deserved more than I had to offer. ”

This comes after many a rumour that Mr. Wayne may be on the aromantic (see related articles) and/or asexual spectrum (see related articles). When asked, he responded that these were untrue, citing is many public relationships with both men and women (see related posts) as a counter.

Unfortunately, this rabbit hole of attempting to figure out the meaning of Mr. Wayne’s words has gotten us nothing but speculation, theories ranging from the tame to the ludicrous and bizarre (see related articles).

As all eyes are on the Wayne’s, we urge all readers to consider tuning in to the live broadcast of the Charity Gala being hosted by the family at the end of this month and consider donating to one of the many causes that will be presented, such as the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation where you can donate via website or at their email (donations@thomasmarthawaynefoundation.com).

Let us know your thoughts on the topic (here)

Gotham Reports is certified in unbiased, reliable, and fair journalism.

[themurderofcrowscollective]

Bruce tends to have depression days, both minor and major. Everyone knows by now that he hardly opens up and shows the weakest side of him, making sure that his duty and his job help others before helping himself. Yeah he goes to therapy, he tries to keep himself going with the support of others and tries his damned hardest but even the dark knight can't do everything continuously without breaking every once in a while. Yes he has his family, his employees at Wayne Industries and the Justice League but he needs to wind down and stay in bed all day once in a while. And who comes to his aid by hearing him softly say he just needs him? Yep, Clark Kent. Alfred is already used to hearing the familiar knocking on the door so he even gave Clark a copy of the key to the manor whenever he's called by Bruce. Once he gets to the bedroom, Clark already knows that Bruce just needs a good long week of him and Clark only. No one else, just him and Clark. Day one is just Clark arriving with a bag full of a week's worth of clothes and necessities, plopping down onto the bed with Bruce and snuggling him all day. They are total opposites; Bruce's a night owl and Clark's a morning person, one's grumpy in the morning and the other's happy and cheerful, but on a week like this? They're perfect for each other. Day two is spent with the two being Lazy Dads, Clark's kids visiting and also staying over with the batkids while Bruce and Clark take naps together or watch movies/shows on Netflix together. Day three consists mostly of sleep, possible fun times (if you get what I mean *wiggles eyebrows*) and no one else being in the manor. Cause y'know. Yeah you know. Day four and five consists of them cuddling more, napping more and having small talks together. Day six is reading in the garden, going out to eat and sleeping in the library. Day seven is mostly the day Bruce hates the most, cause Clark's leaving but Bruce is feeling better and not so stuck in a rut. He and Clark spend the day together, they eat out and have more possible fun times (*more eyebrow wiggling*) before things go back to normal. Had this week not happen, Bruce would be listening to Lana Del Rey's sad songs while drinking wine and being melodramatic to fit the mood. Cause he's a Wayne and I personally believe every Wayne is dramatic (like Martha and Thomas)

[rubydubydoo122]

What characterisation do Thomas and Martha Wayne have (in your opinion. canon is all over the place again)? And how would they interact with the Batkids?

I am a personal fan of Girlboss Martha Wayne, and Kind-soft Thomas Wayne.

The Kanes are a millitary family, so it just makes sense to me that Martha is tougher and all that. And Thomas followed the Hippocratic oath no matter what the circumstance was, so in my brain it makes sense that he was a lot softer.

Though, I don't think Canon Bruce would know Martha's tough side, because she was probably a total boy-mom, and coddled Bruce //pos, but as he grew older, she was definitely the tough love kind of mom. Pretty strict. Made him finish Med school.

idk why, but I feel like they would treat Dick more as their son, because Bruce started parenting him at a young age. Like, if Bruce said yes to Dick, but Martha said no, it was a No. If Dick really wanted something he knew Martha and Bruce would say no to, he would got to Thomas, and yeah.

With Jason, they definitely are more Grandparent-y with him-- at least Thomas is in full on Grandpa mode by the time Jason rolls up, but also, we know Jason's mommy issues. We know he would totally suck-up to Martha. So she would fill in that mother role, but more often than not, she would give Jason what he wanted If Bruce said No to something, Jason would ask Martha, and she'd say yes, and it drives both Bruce and Dick up a wall because Where was this leniancy when they were growing up? (Basically, what I'm saying Bruce is their oldest child, Dick is their middle, and Jason is their youngest-- but Jason is still more Bruce's child, just with more parenting help)

Cass is their little angel. They watch her ballets, and spoil her, and youngest daughter type beat. She's Grandpa's and Daddy's girl. And Martha would love finally having another girl in the family.

Idk if Jason dies in this world or not but either way, I think Martha and Thomas would treat Tim like the kid next door, just to put a bit of emotional distance, or they would treat him more like a grandchild. Though, I do feel like they would play off of Tim's unspoken bounderies.

Steph is the family-friend girlfriend. If yk what I mean. She's the one Martha's rooting for to eventually get with one of her children/grandchildren, and any person Tim, or Cass bring home will most likely never hold the place in Martha's heart reserved for Steph. (this also technically applies to Jason, but Jason never brings anyone home so ya)

Duke would be treated similarly to Tim, they would play off of his bounderies. Be Grandparent-y if he was accepting of that. I mean, Duke's parents are alive, just jokerized, so....

Damian gets the crazy stories from their youth Grandparents. I'm not gonna explain. He's their youngest grandchild. He gets the crazy stories that Blows Dick's mind because "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE CONNECTIONS TO THE MOB, BUBBE???!!!"

Thomas would be against getting any and all of the animals Damian asks for, but then spends more time with Ace and Titus, and Alfred (the cat) and Batcow, and GOLIATH than he does with any of his kids/grandkids. His excuse--"You all moved out! What else am I 'posed to do?"

I also feel like Thomas would play a different sport with each of the kids. Tim taught him how to skateboard, and now he's the coolest grandpa at the skatepark.

[dickheadcanons]

Your brain is literally gynormous. Do you think Damian's and Dick's relationship is paternal? Because, as someone who has actually had to raise their sibling (do not recommend) it looks more like a guy that had too much in his plate trying to be the best caregiver he could, but not really being a parent, if that makes sense. I feel like the idea of him wanting to adopt him feels like kind of a retcon, couldn't really see it in the og run. But of course, it could be because it's not exactly the same as my experience (abusive father, incapable mother, yknow the drill). What do you think? All your posts are so good.

Also while you're at it, what do you think of Dick as a parent? Some elseworlds have played with the concept, and main continuity did something too with Olivia but T*m Tayl*r fucked that up too. I also wonder how Damian would be as a dad, but I don't think I've ever seen any stories with it.

omg anon thank you and thank you for asking!! this is literally one of my favorite topics!! i was thinking about making a post on this and now you gave me the excuse for it!!

Long story short, I don't think that “parental” is a binary thing. I mean, I know several bio-parents who are just guys with too much on their plates, trying to be the best they can, you know? And people can see parent figures in all kinds of relationships that aren’t blood or traditional moms/dads, especially with people who didn't know each other from birth. There are a million ways to be parented, and a million ways to act as a parent.

The way I think about it is, is Dick Damain's John Grayson? No, I don't think so.

But is Dick Damian's Bruce Wayne? Yes. Totally. Absolutely.

More under the cut bc I have a lot of thoughts.

I think to talk about Dick and Damian, we have to start with Dick and Bruce. So much about Dick and Damian is a reflection of the original Dynamic Duo, and I think that's very much the case with this element as well. From the start of their very long comic history, Dick and Bruce have been dancing around their relationship. We get early comics that say they're "like" father and son, we have Bruce saying he couldn't care about Dick more than if he was Bruce's son, but we also have places where they call each other their best friends, where they act more like brothers, etc etc.

When it comes to who our parents are, I think there is the responsibility, and the result. Certain people have the responsibility, the duty, to be our parents, and sometimes (because death or illness or being shitty people), they aren't able to meet those responsibilities. That never removes the responsibility; they don't stop being the parent. But they aren't able to create the result of us becoming good stable adults. That's where other people can step in, where the parental figure appears, and those are the people that we actually point to when we say "they made me the person I am today."

In fandom, we see a lot of Dick not wanting Bruce to replace his father, of him asking not to be adopted. I think this is a fine characterization that works with who Dick is, but Bruce is actually the one to say that he is not going to replace Dick's father. He says it completely unprompted, too. This is withholding the responsibility of being Dick's parent from Bruce, keeping him at a distance and reserving it as an honor for someone who can't hold it anymore, even as Bruce demands responsibility for literally everything else about Dick.

And I think that it's very telling of what Bruce's idea of a father is. The thing about having a dead parent at a young age is that the person of your parents is still tangled in the role of parent in your life; Mom is mom, not Martha, and because she's dead, the image of both Martha and "mom" is frozen. For Bruce, the relationship of father and son is frozen in the relationship of specifically his father and him. Of course Bruce is not Dick's father; Bruce himself is so different from what his conception of a father is. And as a fellow son, for Bruce, someone who just got back from 7 years abroad studying to be Batman, for whom the nearly 20 year old wound is still fresh, the idea of even wanting another father doesn't make sense, particularly for a boy that Bruce identifies with so hard that he becomes the third person ever to know who Batman is.

This looming memory is even worse when it's Dick's turn to be Batman. While Bruce looks at Dick and sees the memory of his own loss, the shadow of his own grief, Dick is looking at Damian and seeing Bruce. Dick knows very well who Damian lost; Dick is grieving what Damian lost more than Damian is. Bruce couldn't conceive of replacing a father, but Dick is struggling to imagining himself replacing Bruce at his job, much less who he was in his personal relationships.

But even if Damian isn't Dick's responsibility, Dick doesn't hesitate to care about Damian's future. "Who's going to save him if we don't?" At the start of the DickBats era, Dick isn't looking at Damian as a family member, really. He's looking at Damian as a victim, abet a very involved, very dangerous one. It's how Bruce looked at Dick too, before he had any reason to know that this kid would become something more to him. But, like Bruce, what Dick does to save Damian is bring him into the thing that is most precious to him; Batman. The mission. Saving people. A way to live in the world.

I know saying someone is the Batman to their Robin is like, a joke at this point. Something unbelievably cheesy. But you google "iconic duos" and Batman and Robin are one of the first responses. There's a reason for the joke. So imagine you are Robin, and your Batman is dead. And you have to go and find a new partner. Dick making Damian his Robin is heavy, just as heavy to me as adoption papers. Bruce made Dick his partner without any idea of what that meant. Dick, and the audience, had 70 years of expectation on what Dick and Damian could be. Dick making Damian Robin was a very specific claim, far stronger imo than just claiming him as a son would have been.

Because, to be honest (and speak to your other question), I don't think Dick thinks a lot about being a parent. I don't really think it's that important to him. Dick is a leader, a mentor, he deals with a ton of teenagers and kids through his vigilante work, he goes to Tim's sidekick parent's meetings and takes Jason skiing and more than that, he's also young. He's in his 20s. He should be at the club. I think he probably thinks he'll have kids in an abstract way, but it's not something he's looking for, consciously or unconsciously. He's not searching for connection, or to fix his mistakes or his past, the things that lead Bruce to adopting sidekicks. He'd be a great dad, and I think we see him being pretty good with his Elseworlds kids, but Dick is a very practical person, and him taking a kid in (vs finding somewhere else they can go) is not really the practical choice.

Except for one kid. There's just been one kid with legitimately no where else to go, where Dick is truly the only option, because going home meant only bad things for him. Dick made Damian part of his family in the ways that mattered to them both in that moment. With their lives, adoption doesn't really make a huge material difference on custody (if Damian wanted to leave, Dick couldn't have stopped him; Damian has access to basically unlimited money and can feed and clothe and wash himself. and possibly already has a phd.), and Dick wanted Damian to choose, anyway. If I recall correctly, Dick says he didn't think about taking Damian with him until Bruce comes back. He thought about taking Damian with him, thought that Damian might be better with Dick (his partner!!!!) than even with Bruce, his dad, the person Dick loves so much, only in the face of them being separated.

Meanwhile Damian, for all his blustering about how Dick needs to "earn" his respect, warms up to Dick startlingly quickly. For Damian, who had never known a father, who in his initial run hadn't even known his mother for more than two years, whose other male family is Ra’s al Ghul, his father is Batman. Even in Tomasi's kinder depiction of Damian's childhood, Damian only knows the Bat. And when he meets Bruce, the first thing he expresses is disappointment. Bruce the man is underwhelming and then goes and dies. So much for the mythic hero!

And then he meets Dick. Who manages to teach Damian something, who doesn't discount his skills even when he's wrong. Who proves that he is better at being Batman than Damian, and shows that he wants Damian around. And, even more importantly, who doesn't die. Dick is stable in a world constantly in flux. Damian screws up a lot in that run, and he leaves for long stretches of it, but Dick is always there when he gets back. There's no blame here, but the truth is that Dick is the one who stays.

Bruce was Damian's father, but what does that mean to someone whose never met a father at all? Bruce might have tried to connect with Damian before he died, but he doesn’t do it in a way that works. He doesn’t give Damian trust, he doesn’t encourage him in the ways Damian finds important…the first person to do that is Dick. Dick gives Damian responsibility, makes him part of the team. It could be argued that Damian didn’t deserve it, but we’re not talking about deserving. We’re talking about what worked. It sounds like as good an idea as making a tiny 8 year old acrobat a sidekick, but it undeniably worked for both Damian and Dick. Does that mean that either of these relationships were parental in the way that we think of it in the real world, in the way that a child psychologist would say is good and healthy? I have no idea. But they are the most parental in the absence of any other parents, and I think that means a lot.

Unfortunately, we don't get to actually see the dissolution of Dick and Damian's partnership. DC conveniently skips over showing us Bruce coming back and Dick becoming Nightwing again; preNew 52, Dick is still Batman with Damian even when Bruce returns, and in the New 52, he's been Batman "Before" and we don't really see the end, just a vague aftermath. But if it did take that kind of change to make them realize their relationship had a flavor of "parent and child", had the makings of something like a father and son, well, they'd just be following in the original Batman's footprints.

[tacagen]

rating thawne's deaths on a 10 point scale

snapped neck: 6/10. ok. not good, not bad, well-deserved, timeless, impactful. i love the way thawne is still complaining about that one though.

flashpoint: 9/10. imagine becoming a living paradox and proceeding to rant about how your speedster nemesis cant hurt you now (very normal way to put it btw.) only to be pierced by a fucking sword. dumb and classic, all good here.

the button: 100/10 THE DUMBEST DEATH OF THEM ALL AND MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. also a classic, imagine being told multiple times that youre going to die and fucking carry on like youre the Smartest here and nothing could ever happen to you and actually ima adopt you barry. thawne's character at its finest.

running scared: 8/10. not bad. ironic last words and 'on my life i swear' about the promise he intended to break all along. once again, dead because he couldnt shut the fuck up and look around him. iris, my beautiful tired of thawne's shit queen, I STAN.

the flash cw season 1: 5/10. dont remember it much asides from being totally pointless as it has 0 effect on thawne's existence further and our beloved Genius of Time Travel, who can Calculate Every Single Timeline Consequence To His Actions revealing his fucking name to his ancestor and bullying him into murder by suicide.

legends of tomorrow season 2: 10/10. love this one. top 10 reverse-flash moments. my dude got together like 15 other versions of himself for each to do practically fucking nothing other than to group pose and die. an honorable mention: poor black flash who got called a monster just for trying to do his timeline protection job and who endured all of thawne's shit only for it to turn out completely pointless as well. then again if you think about it, everything that happens in cw is pointless.

the flash cw season 6: 2/10. does that even count as a death. makes zero fucking sense. 2 points only for thawne being a total loser and resembling negaduck's 'crisis on infinite darkwings' death.

suicude squad: hell to pay: 10/10. i gave this 10 points already just for his last words 'fuck my life'. again, DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP WHICH GETS HIM KILLED. thawne believing in the afterlife in the first place feels out of character to me though.

finish line: 0/10. it was very hard to waste a character like that without even realizing it AFTER WRITING HIM WITH SUCH A DEEP UNDERSTANDING BEFORE but you've done it, williamson ⭐

legends of tomorrow season 7: 7/10. very balanced death, little bit of thawne having zero fucking braincells, little bit of meaning. not even complaining about the concept, silly little domesticated rat doing his silly little job of preserving the timeline. i approve.

jurassic league: 10/10. first i suggest we just stop and think for a moment about the fact that we got a DINOSAUR THAWNE in a list of deaths. second THIS PREHISTORIC DUMPLING GOT FUCKING EATEN. third insert an extinction pun. perfect understanding of thawne being a fucking joke of a character and meme potential.

flashpoint beyond: 12/10. did NOTHING in the plot. meant NOTHING for the plot. just spawned as a corpse and looked pretty in the morgue (10 points already purely for The Page) and i respect that. 1 more point for the button encore and another to martha wayne. thank you for your service queen, we'll never forget your impact on this one.

knight terrors: the flash: 8/10. this mf lasted exactly 3 pages. neat but a bit sad if you think about it. not only got killed unprovokedly but his precious museum he just tried to protect got damaged as well. didnt even get to finish neither the tour or his point about barry not being able to wake up (again, only tried to help in a way by that?). also i like the way he's once again a creation of barry's subconsciousness acting suspiciously fruity.

[starry-bi-sky]

Miscellaneous things from my “Danny Fenton is Thomas Wayne” au (a better au name to follow)

When Bruce was younger/learning to talk, he couldn’t pronounce his name correctly. When Danny was teaching him his name, he’d say “Booce” so Danny started call him “Boo” as a nickname. Danny still calls him “Boo” as his main nickname as Bruce gets older.

When Bruce was a little older, Danny would take him out to the balcony or sneak him up to the rooftop so that they could look at the stars together. Danny told Bruce that if he ever felt alone and Danny wasn’t there to be with him, just look at the stars, Danny will always be with him.

Danny likes making things. He’s a tech whizz like Tucker and the two of them love to create ideas together and try and make them. After he gets adopted, Danny has a lot more access to making gadgets and gizmos. He doesn’t really sell them unless he thinks they’ll help the world be better, or because its harmless.

When Danny was adopted, he didn’t tell his friends until the Waynes asked what he wanted to do to ‘debut’ himself. (They figured that the world and press would find out about him eventually, might as well make an impression) And Danny thought, regrettably, that some sort of party would be best for him to make connections. So the Waynes taught Danny etiquette and other stuff that would help him, and then sent the invitations out.

He asked them to invite the Mansons, so they did. Then texted Sam about it and asked her to attend, and possibly bring Tucker if she could. Safe to say the day of the party, when Danny got introduced, he could feel Sam glaring holes into his head. It was totally worth it. (Bruce was being taken care of back home, which Danny fretted about the entire time. He kept having to convince himself not to leave early.) He was sorely tempted to invite Vlad to see his face.

Speaking of Vlad, he has no idea that Danny changed his name. He didn’t think Danny would do that, he just thought he ran away or left town. And its not like any of his friends would tell Vlad. He doesn’t know that Danny’s changed his name until the headlines about the new Wayne Heir come out.

After Danny was adopted, he started self-teaching himself business and other stuff that would help him learn how to run Wayne Industries. He did it in secret so that he could surprise his new parents.

Also about Martha — I’m not making Sam the Martha Wayne equivalent. Amethyst Ocean really isn’t my thing, so Martha Wayne is either going to be a separate character that Danny genuinely falls in love with. OR Danny’s just gonna remain a single dad.

Danny has somewhat retired ‘Phantom’ / his ghost form. Or at least he doesn’t transform into a ghost quite as often. Mainly because there’s no reason to, and also because Gotham doesn’t have nearly enough ambient ectoplasm to sustain Danny like in Amity. The only times he transforms is to have late night flights.

Sam and Tucker don’t call Danny by ‘Danny’, they call him Thomas or Tom. Tucker sometimes jokingly calls him Tommy.

More miscellaneous stuff to come lmfao

Taglist(?)

@blankliferain idk if this is what you meant by tag you but you didn’t specify if you wanted to be tagged for a fic or a post so I figured it wouldn’t hurt

@storm-and-fire same as above it might not be a fic but its a more info on the au?

[vee-crytraps]

Damian: Son of Batman

im healing my younger self my reading stuff on my list but I'm not known for keeping my thoughts to myself!!! This comic was meh BUT we had some good times I guess?

Damian calling Tim ugly buT ALL OF YOU LOOK THE FUCKIN' SAME SO??

Also?? I never would have guessed the origins of Alfred the cat being that Alfred literally dies in front of it, and then Damian starts to hear the cat talk to him in Alfred's voice??? and last but not least

Talia Al Ghul's Long Skirt Girlie debut It feels like this comic STARTS with a lot of context missing, because it's not a standalone, and it a part of a larger universe like many lil runs are. BUT SPARKNOTES: Bruce and Damian are investigating the scene of a murder, several human corpses lay among a pile of dead joker fish. Bruce, looking for clues, accidentally triggers a bomb- which kills him. Damian goes to his mom and grandaddy for help avenging his father, they both tell him to fuck off. They tell him he's chosen to be Bruce's lil baby and now he has to suck it up and be Batman. Damian continues to be Robin with no Batman (Dick is dead in this universe), but abandons his no-killing rule. He immediately starts murdering anyone who takes credit for the death of Batman. Some undetermined amount of time later, Bruce rocks up to the bat cave as Damian is going out to do more murder and decides to beat his ass. No one stays dead in comics, unless you're Uncle Ben. Or Martha and Thomas Wayne. Damian stabs Bruce almost fatally, and he gets put into a coma. Damian dons his trench coat batman fit (Batman 666 type beat) and decides to obey his father's rule. He gets pretty fucked up in a fight with Mr. Pyg, and Alfred dies from the exertion of dragging a wounded Damian to the med bay. This cat that's been vibing in the bat cave stats talking to Damian in Alfred's voice and convinces Damian to go to Bruce for help looking for the Joker. The "Joker" (someone who admits to not being the real Joker as he's retired) has kidnapped the wounded Bruce, drawing Damian into a trap where a ton of villains start...you guessed it, beating his ass. Damian is able to turn the tide of the fight and free his father after ripping open the "Joker's" chest. It doesn't kill him, but then the real Joker rocks up with a gun and shoots the imposter in the head. If all of this sounds boing, it totally was! The coloring of this comic was lovely though. I'm a sucker for that pale watercolor art-nouveau shit!!!

Ultimately, this will not be considered for the Girliepop Batman Universe. Even with Talia's TikTok ass fit

[hedgiwithapen]

Hot'n'Fresh take on Flashpoint

(flashpoint as a concept, this is not a comic or movie review ok so like first if you know me you know that I fundamentally think the way Flashpoint Exists is Bad. It's just. Bad! It's just mean. even if unkilling nora doesn't make the timeline EXACTLY like it was in the Pre-killedNora timeline, the changes should still be localized. Central city, maybe state wide. but there's no reason 1 random woman's death in a totally different state should mean that Martha wayne goes batshit[pun intended] or that wonderwoman and aquaman suddenly lack all sense of morality and half of europe's underwater. that's stupid as fuck. SO. I propose 2 potential options. 1 is that Nora /always/ died that night. heart attack, slipped on the stairs, something mundane. then I can see /saving/ her entirely, not just changing the manner of death, as an acceptable reason for wider changes. I don't love it, but I can tolerate it. the second is. uh. in the OG, no murder timeline, things. uh. sucked. slightly to the left but like. all the flashpoint things? still a thing. Bruce dead. Aquaman and Wonder Woman doing their whole War Means Fuck King Brion and Also Western Europe bullshit. Kal El having the worst day ever repeatedly in government custody. all of it. there's still, like... some ok things? but over all it's not great! and then the reverse flash kills Nora--to be clear, 100% because he's a dick and wants to hurt the flash, nothing altruistic here--and suddenly the timeline's... nice. like, again, not perfect, but europe's intact, and Gotham's...marginally better off by a percent of a percent. (why? how? because fuck you that's why. real flashpoint never explained so i don't have to either) of course no one knows about this until /after/ flashpoint happens and Nora gets re-murdered and then somehow--probably a hero who can see past timelines-- brigs it up and oh that makes the whole JL real uncomfy real quick. Barry imediately decides if he has to live with this trauma he's going to fucking weaponize it. "Barry, it's your turn to have Monitor Duty" says Diana "will you do it?" "no." "even though my mom's dead, which is apparently the only thing between you and trying to wipe out a continent?" "....I will change the duty roster." "Flash, you need to do something about your Rogues," says Batman. "do I? hey, remind me, in the timeline where my mom's alive, is captain cold a serial murderer, or is that your mom?" "...noted."

[deancodedinthewater]

I posted 9,024 times in 2022

That's 5,486 more posts than 2021!

34 posts created (0%)

8,990 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mediocrechickenfriedsteak

@bi-bellona

@angrygoomba

@fandomfishbish

@gilbirda

I tagged 518 of my posts in 2022

#danny phantom - 8 posts

#supernatural - 6 posts

#michael - 5 posts

#dnd - 4 posts

#spn - 4 posts

#lakeavalonschampions - 4 posts

#kickstarter - 4 posts

#lils howells - 4 posts

#batpham - 3 posts

#omg - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#it could've been a little bit jason choosing the name because he misses how things uaed to be and a little bit him calling himself a demon

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

GChapters: 5/? Fandom: Batman: Wayne Family Adventures (Webcomic), Danny Phantom Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Tim Drake, Alfred Pennyworth, Danny Fenton, Danielle "Dani" Phantom, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas Additional Tags: Halfa | Half-Ghosts (Danny Phantom), Blood Blossoms (Danny Phantom), Found Family, jason adopted dani Summary:

Jason gets exposed to Blood Blossoms by accident and the batfam discover some things about him, his adopted daughter Dani and her 'cousin' Danny.

@ocearnawrites and @gilbirda the new chapter includes the backstory

53 notes - Posted June 18, 2022

#4

Anyone ever think about how ghost King danny and fire lord zuko have a lot in common?

Both are teenagers trying to repair their kingdom after the reign of terror from their predecessor(s). Both are ill equipped to deal with that pressure alone and both have s network of friends that help them deal with it.

81 notes - Posted May 9, 2022

#3

Here is the final piece for #batphamsummersendoff2022

Sam

"Timmy's bringing a plus one," Jason said as he slid up next to Dick. They were at a Martha Wayne Foundation charitable gala and both of them were dressed to the nines - though Jason had also snuck in at least two weapons and he wasn't telling anyone which or where.

"That girl he's been talking about?" Dick asked, half turning to his brother. "What was her name? Sam?"

Read the rest on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/41337861

86 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#2

Totally not late on this 😅

“Jason,” Tim said, lying on his back on the floor. “Jason please take you firey-ness too somewhere else.”

“I don’t see why you all have a problem,” Jason responded. “It’s not that hot.”

“Tell me that again after you go look in the freezer and see your daughter is fast asleep in there,” Dick told him, his voice was weary and he was also on the floor. He was face down and as he spoke he had lifted a hand, waving it weakly in the direction of the kitchen.

Read the rest on ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41316180

116 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

This fic is for the batpham server event! Enjoy:

Dani dragged Jason along the promenade by his wrist. She let him pretend that he could easily pull away, though she was actually the stronger of the two of them. He still had very limited ghost powers. His invisibility had developed some, it was almost true invisibility now, as had his flight, he’d managed to levitate the other day. Dani snickered to herself, pushing through the crowd with a little sneaky intangibility, as she remembered that Jason has started to have accidental bouts of that same power. He dropped his favourite mug just that morning.

“If you are thinking about what I think you’re thinking about you are grounded,” Jason growled. Dani laughed harder. That growl was a very different sound to how he talked to criminals, the voice modulator of course accentuated the difference, this was the sound of a tired Dad and she loved that she had one now.

Read the rest on ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/41293875

170 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[britcision]

So we have all come a long way but this is very important to me:

You can’t fingerprint ID someone from a kidnapped baby. For many reasons not limited to:

1) no one registers baby fingerprints??? They’re too tiny and what crimes is a baby gonna commit??? (Is this why Tallia didn’t tell Bruce about Damian as a baby)

2) their finger tips are deadass too small you will not get helpful or identifiable details

3) fingerprint identification is sketch af and much less unique than the shape of your ear. THIS is gonna be the good one

Also: Bruce Wayne’s kids are kidnapped every third Tuesday

Danny’s prints are misread as *pick your favourite boy Robin*, who has been kidnapped Yet Again and is actively being held hostage elsewhere in the city

Bruce gets the call from the cops while *miscellaneous vigilantes* are closing in on their sibling and just… well, either they assume their lad has gotten out on his own, or Brucie has to go see what’s up while the kids do the rescue

Brucie swings by to see what’s going on, playing dumb, and about 30 seconds in decides the case against Danny is BS, let’s get him out of here and send him on his way…

Danny “Commit To The Bit” Fenton plays along after Bruce tips him a quick wink (and maybe wonders just how dumb he is)

They’re about to part ways when Bruce notices… Danny’s ears are practically identical to Thomas Wayne’s

He’s got Martha’s nose (which coincidentally is a similar shape to Maddie Fenton’s), he’s got Thomas’s jawline, and maaaaybe another feature from your Bruce ship of choice, we’re playing “Danny the test tube baby”

The Fentons did so well cloning Wonder Woman for their Jazzy pants, and Jack’s already built like Batman! So he’s the logical “donor” for a son!

(Bruce calling another leaguer OR SUPERMAN SUPERBAT IS THE FUCKED UP VERSION OF THIS TIMELINE HOLY SHIT

“HEY CLARK I KNOW YOU LOVE CLONES SO MUCH GUESS WHAT SOME SCIENTISTS IN BUMFUCK INDIANA CLONED YOU AND ALSO ME CONNER HAS A BROTHER WE HAVE A SOOOOOOON”)

Just.

Danny getting outta jail on a totally coincidental fingerprint mix up (Clockwork whistles innocently in the background) and finding his bio donors?

Yes

Incredible

Personally I’m a fan of Dick being Danny’s weird fingerprint match if only because Tim gets kidnapped so often it really is someone else’s turn

Bruce being The Biggest mother hen to his new clone baby once he realises Danny has no fucking clue who he is (it’s not even a good cover to get close to him, who the fuck would believe you hadn’t heard of Bruce Wayne)

When he first brings Danny back to the manor the others joke about his adoption issues but he runs DNA on Danny’s dinner cutlery and yup that’s his son with Clark and he’s just…

Blatantly ratting on the people who grew him at every opportunity

And none of it has to do with a Batman plot? There’s nothing about replacing him or even any respect for The Bat, Greatest Detective? It’s so unbelievable it takes Bruce a hot second and the continued revelations Are Not Helping

(Damian is so fucking offended he has a surprise older blood sibling who Was Not Even Specially Bred Or Raised They Just Thought Batman Looked “close enough”)

Dc x dp idea 113

Danny was falsely arrested. How dare the store. He may look homeless being on the run from his parents and all.

But really.

All he did was stuff the item in his pocket so he could help someone grab an item.

They didn’t even give him the chance to explain. He had the money. Sam insisted on giving him cash before he ran.

When they took his fingerprints he really didn’t mind. He was running from his parents not the government. As soon as he was left alone he’d high tail it out of Gotham.

To bad he wouldn’t be left alone. Being Bruce Wayne’s kidnapped son was not on his bingo card.

Now Bruce Wayne billionaire had never expected to have his son be found. Never for him to be found stealing food and obviously homeless.

[incorrectbatfam]

I know you don't do much angst but can you do bruce and Jason angst?

Jason's fear gas nightmare is dying + Batman watching and reminding him that he was a criminal—a cold-blooded killer. And it's not the soft niceties that keep him grounded, but rather Bruce telling him the truth. Which is, yes, Jason's done some messed-up things, but he's growing and they're healing together

Alfred taught Jason how to crochet. Jason made a tiny version of every batfam member except B. For Batman, he made two: one for himself, which he keeps in his room, and one for Thomas and Martha.

He also put a curly-haired Robin on his old grave. The Robin disappeared the next night, which Jason was rightfully bitter about, but he assumed it was just an obsessed fan or an animal. Truth is, it's sitting on Bruce's nightstand on top of a copy of Pride and Prejudice

Little Jason had a habit of disappearing when he made a mistake—he used to always avoid Willis until the man forgot what he even did. That carried over to the Manor, when he slipped outside because he broke a glass

When Bruce finally figured it out, it'd been three hours and it was starting to get cold. He found Jason hiding in the flower bushes. It took some time, but he eventually coaxed Jason out and told him he doesn't have to hide anymore, because as his father, it's Bruce's job to guide him through mistakes rather than punish him

Jason has a problem with fires that he didn't start (his logic: if you start it, you're in control of how it grows and it's your own fault if you blow yourself up). Bruce gives under-the-table pointers for "strategically managing infrastructural burnings" so if a fire occurs, Jason can feel like he has a better sense of control

Surprisingly (or maybe not) Jason is an introvert. Bruce is also an introvert, but he dials up the Brucie Wayne charm so people don't bother Jason at galas and press conferences

In the early Robin days, every Thursday night at the end of patrol Jason would say, "Hey B, let's go on an adventure" and they'd do something mundane like go on a walk or grab hot chocolate. That fell out of tradition after Jason's death, resurrection, the tensions between Batman and Red Hood, and winding journey of making amends. If Jason was being honest, he totally forgot about that until one Thursday night, when Bruce gently nudged him and said, "Let's go on an adventure"

Neither of them are morning people nor do they get along very well at the start of the day—Jason's alarm is too loud for Bruce's liking and Bruce grunts like a rhino until he gets his coffee. They avoid conversations until they're fully awake because neither of them wanna start the day with a pointless argument

One time, Bruce was working late on a case report when Jason sauntered in, plopped a bag of Chinese takeout on the counter, and said, "Eat." When Bruce declined, Jason said, "That wasn't a question" and left the room. Begrudgingly, Bruce started going through the boxes. In the last rice box, rather than food, he found a remake of the first Father's Day card Jason gave him

Jason was too short to keep up with Dick and the other basketball players, so Bruce recruited a bunch of other short kids who didn't make the team and invited them to the Manor for a scrimmage

Remember the crochet Robin? Bruce snuck it into one of the boxes when Jason moved to a new safehouse

Jason at least stops to think twice when Bruce tells him something is dangerous, even if he does it anyway

Jason's first fight with Roy happened in front of Bruce when the Bats and Arrows went on a camping trip. Roy stayed where he was while Jason stormed off to clear his head

Except when he came back, he walked with a bit of a limp and that's how they found out he stepped on some broken bottles left by hikers. After patching him up, Bruce and Oliver talked to each other's kid and convinced them to make up

Even if Bruce and Jason are mad at each other, they still make time to watch the sunset from the balcony. And usually, the reminder that daylight only lasts so long pushes them to apologize

When they're apart, Jason sends postcards to let Bruce know he's okay, but he usually picks the worst ones. Like if he's in Vegas, he'll pick one with strippers and cocaine. Bruce just laughs and says, "Never change, Jaylad"

The Wayne family heirloom that Jason receives is Martha's music box, which plays a lullaby that she sang to Bruce and Bruce sang to the batkids. Jason winds it up on nights when he's all alone

We all know Bruce would comfort his kids when they can't sleep, but what about the other way around? When Bruce's racing thoughts won't let him sleep, he focuses on Jason reading out loud in the other room. Jason swears he does it on accident, but that doesn't explain why he scoots his chair closer to the wall

Bruce likes when something happens that makes Jason burst out laughing. He always slows down and takes a mental picture

Lian Harper is a lot like Jason when he was younger, and Jason occasionally looks after her when Roy isn't around. Bruce gives pointers and it doesn't take long to figure out that they were things Bruce did for Jason, like keeping a utility belt full of snacks and providing a safe outlet to express emotions

Jason had an unfinished children's story from before he died. In summary, it was about a baby dragon that got adopted by a farmer and kept growing beyond the barn's capacity, and left off with the farmer rushing to build more and expand it. Bruce found it in a box years later, so he scanned a copy and finished it with the farmer letting the dragon go to explore the world with the promise that he'll always make room on his farm if and when the dragon chooses to come home

Jason doesn't save Bruce's contact as his name, Batman, or dad on any of his phone. His reason is he doesn't want Bruce's information to fall into the wrong hands if someone got to them

It sounds dumb, but the thing that reminds Jason he's Bruce's son is the casual hair ruffles between the load of tasks on their plates

Bruce once had a dream where he had Jason from infanthood and it was so detailed��down to the pattern in Jason's irises—that it prompted Bruce to investigate. When he did, everything from the dream—from how Jason looked to the things he did—clicked perfectly with the evidence he found. Hal calls it a coincidence, Diana calls it divine intervention, and his kids don't know. Bruce likes to think it's the universe's way of telling him that he's on the right track and isn't the bad father he feared he was

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Sister of the Bat

[Masterlist]

I love siblings!Brucinette, especially Marinette being the older sibling. (Maybe I am projecting as the eldest child and enjoy bullying younger brothers in general.)

So hear me out.

Marinette is adopted by the Waynes when Bruce is like 9 or so.

She is older by like 2 years and her parents died. Bruce's parents took pity on her and took her in.

Gina takes Marinette with her as she travels around after Tom and Sabine dies in an accident and one of their stops is the Wayne Manor because Gina is good friends with Alfred.

Thomas and Martha offer to adopt Marinette to give her a stable home life and Gina accepts.

Bruce acts very much like Damian and demands her to get out of the mansion and insists that she is not family, much to his parents' dismay. He refuses to acknowledge her as a sister.

Marinette at least tries to be nice and be friends with him but her wellspring of patience can dry up and she later starts to call him 'demon brat.'

Marinette was there the night outside the cinema. The two siblings got a little closer after it and at least, stopped fighting each other on a daily basis. Alfred wishes it didn't take Thomas's and Martha's death for the two to get along.

Deep down, Marinette blames herself for what happened that night because how else can you explain why everyone she sees as a parental figure dies. Bruce doesn't blame her though.

So fast forward to when Marinette is 14 and she goes on an exchange program to Paris to visit her hometown. It took a lot to convince Bruce to let her leave Gotham and promises to come home for the holidays.

Hawkmoth happens. Bruce figures out that she's Ladybug when she refuses to come home for the holidays and investigate why.

He comes to Paris to help. Alfred follows to keep an eye on the two and also wants to know what the situation is since he used to be a miraculous holder.

Alfred had a 'talk' with Fu about putting responsibilities of a city on the shoulders of one of his wards. He also nearly got akumatized when Marinette was made Guardian and had more responsibilities on her young shoulders but managed to calm down.

Hilarious scene I thought of. Alfred cocks his shotgun, threatening to shoot Su-Han when he shows up and fires a warning shot to make a point.

They stayed in Paris for 2 years. Moving into Marinette's old house when the exchange program ended.

Bruce gets tempted to use the earrings and ring to bring his parents back but ultimately doesn't upon finding out about the consequences.

Of course Bruce is going to get a miraculous. I was thinking the rooster or the dog. And the weapon is a boomerang. Oh wait, how about the horse. It sorta works?

Hawkmoth gets defeated. Gabriel goes to jail. Adrien gets his mother back. The Wayne siblings and Alfred move back to good old Gotham.

(I realized that this got longer than I expected.)

Time skip to a few years later, when Marinette goes to Tibet to be trained as a Guardian and Bruce follows her not long after to learn how to fight and figured the Temple was a good place to start.

After she finishes her Guardian training, they both travel around, sometimes going their separate ways and meeting up again once a few months. Marinette only sometimes trains with some of the masters Bruce was learning under, she mainly goes around looking for lost Miraculous and righting the balance in places.

Of course, Marinette gets on the first plane to Nanda Parbat to knock some sense into her dumb brother, the moment she found out that Bruce was training with the League of Assassins.

"Okay, I left you alone for a week and the next thing I know you are in the League of Assassins. THE LEAGUE OF ASSASSINS LED BY RA'S AL GHUL. What the hell were you thinking, Bruce?! Does Alfred know about this?"

"Well, it is the League of Assassins. Assassins, Mari. I need to know every form of fighting so I can be Batman."

"I am sorry. Bat-what?"

"Batman. The identity I created so I can fight in my crusade against crime."

"Right.... That totally makes sense. But why a bat? I thought you were scared of those. I literally hung pictures of bats in my room so you would stay out. I even made a bat plushie named Terry. You remember Terry, right?"

"Yes and I hated him. The point is, I chose a bat as a sign of overcoming my fear and using it as a symbol to strike fear in the hearts of my enemies and as a symbol of hope for the innocent."

"Did- Did you just.. have an answer ready for when people ask you why you are dressed as a bat furry?"

She stuck around to pester Bruce into quitting the league and simultaneously mess with Ra's at the same time.

She used magic to keep herself hidden and succeeded to stay that way until Bruce left.

She's also the reason why Bruce hates magic.

Marinette went back to Gotham first and set up a fashion empire.

Bruce comes back and starts being Batman.

Marinette at first tries very hard to respect Bruce's decision to do this mostly on his own. Until an incident where he got stabbed and instead of resting, he goes out.

So tired older sister Marinette puts on a black kelver suit with bits of red as a homage to her time as Ladybug, a domino mask with white lenses and a cape with a red hood (Hawkmoth had ruined cowls and she later changed it into a kelver jacket with a hood because despite the dramatic effect it brings, she was not great at jumping around rooftops with a cape which made Bruce takes great pride in showing off how great his cape is any chance he gets)

She went out to make sure Bruce doesn't get killed. (No miraculous because she doesn't want people coming to already crime-filled Gotham for them)

People called her 'Red Hood'. (Joker uses that alias because he wants to taunt the Bat after hearing rumours that 'Red Hood' was dead. Jason took it because it's the name of the one person who pisses Bruce off and gets under his skin more than anyone.)

Batman has that deep and gruff voice to disguise his voice while Red Hood uses magic to distort her voice enough that it was still understandable but drove shivers down people’s spines.

She was there first hand and managed to record a lot of failed or dramatic moments Batman has. Blackmail...

Bruce is stubborn. He tells her that he has everything handled while getting his ass kicked. Mostly he gets the villain of the week tied up in an hour and Marinette leaves to go deal with something else in another neighbourhood.

Not very often there are cases where Bruce is obviously very tired and needs help but is too stubborn to ask for it. Marinette asks if he needs help and he says no. She lets the fight go on for like 15 minutes, casually leaning against the railing or wall and in one case, eating chips and sharing it with a barely conscious henchman before asking him again. And joining the fight whether he said no or not.

-------

The nature of their relationship is questioned as they are seen together often enough.

That came to light when Penguin was dangling Red Hood above a death trap and threatened Batman that he was going to kill his girlfriend unless he met the demands.

“Ew…” “What the-. No!” “Gross. I would rather die, thank you very much.” “She’s my sister.” “My standards are way higher than that.”

“Oh. My apologies. But still the same sentiment. Do it or she dies.”

“No.” Batman answered.

“Kwamis, if this is about the cookies, I said I was sorry, Baby Brother.”

“The sign clearly said ‘Do not Touch.’”

The two clearly adult, usually serious and fearsome vigilante bicker like children.

Penguin cleared his throat after being frustrated at being ignored, “Hello, still here by the way. And I thought he was the older one.”

“He wishes.” Red Hood snorted, already freed and ready to kick some Penguin’s ass.

“Oh no.”

------

Joker thinks he is Batman’s arch nemesis. And for the longest time, was the only Gotham Rouge who has never faced Red Hood. (Marinette knows about the Joker but due to the circumstances and dislike for the man’s fashion choices, has never met the ‘Clown prince’ in person.)

But Joker doesn’t pay attention to frivolous gossip of the Gotham underworld much. So as far as he knows, there was only one vigilante in town and that was the Batman who is his equal and vice versa or so he thought.

That illusion was shattered, the moment another figure appeared from the shadows while Batman was busy trying to deactivate the bombs on the hostages.

“Yo, Demon-Brat, Need help?”

“No.”

“Who is this, Batsy? Your sidekick?”

Red Hood looked offended, “I find that very offensive.”

Batman sighed, “The bane of my existence.”

It was Joker’s turn to be offended. He puts on a hurt face, “But I thought I was your arch nemesis, Batsy. What about all those fun times we had?”

“Sorry, Jester. But me and Bats have a longer history.”

“It’s the Joker. You nitwit.”

“Nitwit? Come up with better insults, you second-grade clown. I have seen birthday clowns scarier than you. And it’s the green wire that you need to cut.”

“Who are you anyway?”

Red Hood took a bow. “The name’s Hood. Red Hood. I am here to make sure the Demon-Brat over there doesn’t get killed, dressed as a bat furry. Now, any last words?” She aimed her guns at the Joker.

“Oh. I think I will like you.”

[Fight scene as Batman frees the hostages and then, they fight the Joker together.]

As Joker is led into the car that will take him to Arkham Asylum, “I don’t like you.” He said as he glared at Red Hood.

------(Time skip to so many years and after Marinette had left Gotham due to being unable to deal with Bruce's bullshit anymore)

Batman is working on his latest case in front of the Batcomputer when his phone rang from a number he wished never called.

He answered it.

“Hey, Bruce, I am going to be in town for the next few days. This is a heads-up, in case we ever ran into each other.”

“Understood. Is anyone new going to show up during your stay?”

“Maybe. That remains to be seen.”

“Tell me when it happens.”

A small laugh at the other end. “Same old Brucie.”

Alfred enters. “Is that Miss Marinette?”

“Hello, Alfred. Nice to know that you are well.”

“Miss Marinette, it would be nicer if you come by the manor. It’s rather empty without you.”

“I would love to, Alfred but my schedule is rather packed and I am pretty sure the manor is full of strays that Demon brat had brought home over the years.”

“They are not strays. They needed someone to train them properly and they agreed to be adopted.” Bruce still hasn’t figured out how he has so many kids. One day, it was just him and Dick and the next thing, kids come and go from his house. But he wasn’t going to let her know that.

“Sureee…”

“Miss Marinette, it’s been so long since we last saw you. I am confident that you and Master Bruce can remain civil for a few hours. Please come by.”

A short silence.

“Do it for me. Please.” Alfred added.

“For you Alfred, I will come over sometime in the afternoon tomorrow but I cannot promise anything else. Goodbye.”

“Good Day, Miss Marinette.”

---

The next morning, Bruce wasn’t in a good mood and the kids tried to figure out why. Bets on Jason or Damian.

Alfred on the other hand looked almost giddy with excitement, cleaning up the manor with a vigour.

When he was asked, he answered “Miss Marinette is back in Gotham. She’s coming over for a visit today.”

Dick and Jason seemed to understand what Alfred meant.

“Wait, she’s back. Does Bruce know she’s going to be here?”

“He and the Miss have agreed to be civil towards each other.”

“Well, I am going to the kitchen to make some popcorn. This is going to be good.” Jason said, gleefully rubbing his hands together as he walked away.

All the other kids looked confused. “Who’s Marinette?”

Dick answered,“She’s well...if there was anyone in the entire world who can drive Bruce mad, it’s her. I swear he came close to breaking the no-kill rule every time she visits. Last I heard she was in Australia.”

“Why does Father dislike her that much?” Damian asked.

“She was the original Red Hood.”

“I thought Jason stole that name from the Joker.” Tim scratched his head.

“Well, the Joker stole it from her to taunt B. When B started off, Batman had...um...a partner. This was way before my time. Her methods were a little conventional. She prioritizes the innocents but she broke the no-kill rule a few too many times. Nearly killed the Joker once.”

“So what happened?”

“They argued a lot. Fought nearly all the time. By the time B had Jason for like what? a year?, she moved out of Gotham and rarely came back. The last time was Jason’s fifteenth birthday before he died and we never heard back from her again, except for a few birthday presents”

“Why isn’t there any picture of her? Why have we never heard of her before?”

“Bruce likes to pretend that she doesn’t exist because...well... you’ll see.”

------

Jason to Dick later. “You didn’t tell them?”

“No. Would you tell them about her and Bruce?”

“I see your point. This is going to be epic. We are totally recording, right?”

“Way ahead of you. Cameras in nearly every angle of each room, plus hidden microphones for audio. Babs is making sure they are all in working order. Thank Bruce paranoia at times like this.”

Doorbell rings. “And Action.” Jason said as he and Dick took out their phones to get some first hand footage. Extra blackmail is always handy to have.

Alfred opens the door to reveal a woman in red, wearing sunglasses. Outside, a red and black motorbike was parked. Her hair was dark and hung loose down her back. She takes off her glasses to reveal bluebell eyes that held the same steely glint as Bruce but they softened at the sight of the old butler.

“Hey Alfred. Long time no see.” She warmly said as she hugged him.

“Miss Marinette. I must say that I miss having your charm around the manor.”

Seeing Dick and Jason in the hallway. “Boys, look at you. You have grown so much. Dick, I see you finally got rid of the mullet.(It wasn’t that bad, Dick said under his breath) Jason, see, I told you that you will get bigger than me one day.”

“Hey, M / Aunt Mari” They hug her.

“Jason.” Her tone changed and he froze, she sounded pissed. “You name stealer.”

“I wanted to make you proud. I was very mad at B back then and I thought why not use the name that pisses him off the most. And you were my favourite auntie.” He tried to explain himself. Maybe he should have asked her first before using her name.

Marinette thought about it for an antagonizing long time watching him squirm, “Hmm….Valid. In that case, you can be my successor.”

“Always knew I was your favourite nephew.”

“Hush, that’s our secret. Now where are all the other strays Brucie has.”

The other bat kids had appeared from where they were.

“Oh… are these the new strays that Brucie brought home over the years?”

“I am no stray. I am Father’s blood son and his heir. You will treat me as such, woman.”

Marinette mutters under her breath, “No doubt about it, you are Bruce’s son. Can’t believe that Demon brat actually got a kid with his DNA. I thought for sure that he was going to keep adopting kids with some resemblance to him.” Jason laughs.

“I am Tim. And the Demon spawn over there,” He gestured towards said kid, “is Damian.” At the nickname, she raised an eyebrow and looked at Dick. He nodded. She chuckled.

The excited blond woman hugged her next, “Hi, I am Stephanie, unlike the others, I came in and never got adopted.”

“Smart girl.”

Stephanie pointed towards Cass, “and this is Cass. She doesn’t talk much.” Cass settles for a wave.

“I am Duke. The family’s newest addition.”

“The only ones not here are Babara, Harper, Colin and Kate.”

“Kate as in Kate Kane?”

“The one and only.”

“Oh. I have to meet up with her at some point.”

“Come on now. Let’s not loiter in the hallway. I am sure Miss Marinette would like some tea. And remember your promise.”

“I promise my best.”

“I hope your best is enough. Master Bruce is currently in the study.”

“Great. I don’t have to deal with his annoying face.”

They moved to the living room. Marinette, Jason and Dick catch up on what happened over the years. Mostly on Jason’s and Dick’s part.

Bruce finally comes down the stairs and the room falls silent. The atmosphere suddenly felt thick and hard to breathe, the moment the two made eye contact with each other.

“Marinette. You are still here.”

“Disappointed, Demon Brat?”

Everyone looked shocked, except for Dick and Jason who had started recording on their phone the moment Bruce showed up.

Marinette stood up with folded arms and a murderous glare on her face when she saw what Bruce was wearing. Bruce on the other hand smirked, wearing clothes that clashed terribly and was an absolute eyesore, especially to a fashion designer’s eye.

WTF was happening???? Was running through most of the bat kids’ heads.

“You are doing this on purpose. You are trying to piss me off.”

“You started it by not leaving the moment the amount of time warranted for a visit has passed.”

“I didn’t come here to see you. I came here for Alfred and stayed for them.” She pointed her thumb in the kids’ direction. “You should have stayed in your little man cave, Bats.”

“How about you scurry back to Europe where you belong, Bug, before I eat you.”

“Aw...Look at the cute baby bat, baring his non-existent fangs.”

“I am a full-grown man. You onesie wearing imposter.”

“I was thirteen year old! Thirteen! If we are going to rip each other’s first suits, then let’s talk about that fashion disaster you wore when you first started out. That cape was a walking hazard, much less be used to run around rooftops. It’s a miracle that you can still walk after that accident. And the ears. You looked like a fucking Rabbit.”

“You are one to talk. That cloak incident in the winter gala of- .”

“That doesn’t count. I only fell down because you stepped on it. If memory serves, you embarrassed yourself in front of Miss Kyle by falling face first into the fountain and ran away from the gala, that same day.”

The insults and jabs went on and on. Stories full of blackmail were exchanged.

Jason and Dick are delighted at the blackmail material and grinning like maniacs.

The rest were still in shock at Bruce’s behaviour. This is way different from the Brucie Wayne persona and a far cry from the stoic Batman.

“Face it, Baby brother. You can’t just admit that I am wayyy better than you.”

‘Baby Brother’, Tim mouthed. He looked at the two eldest for answers but were of no help as they try to capture the best angle for their video.

He vaguely remembers the name Red Hood appearing in the news along with Batman and Robin and there being a second Wayne when he was younger.

He thought that they would be exes or something that worked together but the sibling rivalry in front of him made so much sense now.

“I can beat you in a fight any day, Brucie.”

“Well, I am Batman.”

“And I have been doing this hero shtick since I was 13. So weapons or no weapons?”

“No weapons. Alfred won’t appreciate new scratches in the living room. Freestyle, all out brawl, first one pinned or knocked out loses. right here, right now. No hitting the face or between the legs.” He said, taking off his silver glittery suit jacket.

“I like the sound of that.” She said as she took off her red coat and got into a fighting stance. “Give me all you got, demon brat.”

Dick and Jason made sure to clear out the room and continued filming from the stairs.

“She’s like our aunt?” Tim asked.

“Adopted. Like us.” Jason grinned, as Marinette got cornered and did a flip to get out “I like to think that the adoption genes from Thomas and Martha were passed down to B and doubled to explain why there are so many of us.”

“Why has Father never mentioned her to us before?”

“Would you talk about us to your pets if we were living far and far away?” Dick asked.

“You and maybe Cass and Thomas. The rest of you. No. I wouldn’t. You make a good point, Richard.”

The two siblings downstairs had abandoned fighting the proper way and were wrestling on the ground like five years old.

“Master Bruce. Miss Marinette. I expected better from both of you. You are supposed to set a good example for the children.” Alfred had arrived.

They both stopped and broke apart, looking sheepish under Alfred’s disappointed gaze.

“Sorry Alfred.” They both apologised and glared at each other.

“I guess I miss you,” Marinette said first, “Demon Brat.”

“You weren’t miss as much, Imposter.”

Alfred cleared his throat. The two siblings sighed.

“I am sorry for calling you an Imposter and that was very rude of me.” Bruce ‘apologised’ like he had recited that particular sentence too many times.

“I am sorry too for calling you a Demon Brat despite the accuracy of the statement and I endeavour to do less of it in the future, Bruce.”

“Well since dinner is nearly ready, both of you clean up the mess and come to the dining room.”

“Alfred, I really can’t stay-” Marinette started.

“You are staying, Miss Marinette. It has been years since you were here.”

“Fine, because I love your cooking nothing else and Brucie better change his clothes.”

“No.” Bruce replied childishly.

------

At the dinner table,

“So Aunty M, can I call you that?” Tim asked.

“It’s fine. What do you want to ask?”

“I heard you and Bruce talking about magical butterflies in Paris and you starting your um hero career when you were 13 because of it.”

“Oh.” Marinette’s hand on her fork tensed a little. “Wasn’t expecting that but I can see why you are curious.”

“Now that I thought about it, you never told Jason and me the entire story about it.” Dick said.

“You are right. It’s more of the entire incident left too heavy of a mark for me to talk freely about it.”

Bruce looked her with worry in his eyes, “M, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

Marinette took a bite first while she gathered her thoughts first. “When I was 13 years old, I went on a student exchange program to Paris so I can learn more about my home town….”

She told them about Hawkmoth and the magical earrings she received. The responsibility of the entire city that came with it.

“You don’t sound happy about having magic powers.”

“Well, it happens when you are a just kid with already enough trauma on her plate from four parents dying in front of her. Then, you get chosen to be a hero by some old man just because you decided to be a decent human being and help him cross the street. I repeat, chosen, no training, no information on what exactly was going on. Dropped some magic earrings. which the bad guy clearly wants, into the hands of a child and pushed her out the door to fight in a long tiring war. He got amnesia halfway through the entire thing and left for London. I was young back then but didn’t know any better. At first, it was really fun. Then... If Bruce wasn’t so stubborn and stayed in Gotham like I wanted him to, I might have came out of it way worse.” Her voice was soft as she seemed lost in some painful memories.

“I already lost my parents. I didn’t want to lose another family.” Bruce said.

Marinette smiled, “Yeah. I am thankful for your help. I couldn’t keep you out of superheroing if I tried and Alfred and I tried a lot.”

A few of the Batkids sent smirks towards Bruce to remind him of how they got adopted.

“So how did Bruce help you out?”

“Well, he was more of the Oracle in the situation, tracking down Hawkmoth. Alfred and me kept him from going out, no matter how much he wanted to join the fights. But…” Marinette smirked and Bruce stiffened as he realized what she was going to do.

Marinette moved forward and ‘whispered’, “You should know that you kids aren’t the only ones who parkoured around rooftops in brightly coloured bird-themed suits in your preteens.”

“No way...The Batman was like your Robin?!”

Bruce dropped his face into his hands. “Mari, stop.” He hissed.

“What? I am simply enlightening the children on their heritage.”

Alfred comes in to take away the plates, “I also recall the young Master sneaking out many times to accompany you on your night patrols.”

“Alfred!”

“Nearly forgot about that. There are times where he followed me in his pjamas and a table cloth as a cape when he can’t find where I hid the Miraculouses. Can’t keep him down even when he got sick and was loopy from the medication.”

“Is this the same Mr. Lecture-us-for-not-wearing-our-proper-uniform-when-we-patrol and sneaking out to patrol?”

“One time, I got sick so Bruce wore the earrings to be Ladybug and he had this entire speech prepared for when he take down an akuma that he did in front of the mirror.”

“I thought that you were asleep.” Bruce mumbled in embarrassment.

“You aren’t as quiet and sneaky as you thought you were. Also Chat showed me the video of you taking the akuma down and how he found you when you were practicing the yo-yo.”

“He what?!”

“I also told him to sent it to Alya.”

“No!” Bruce stood up and hurried towards the Batcave. “How did I know about this?”

“Who’s Alya?”

“My reporter friend. Back in the day, she ran the Ladyblog, where she posted information and videos about akuma attacks.”

“So you are saying that there is a video of a tiny Bruce in a red with black polka dot suit, running around Paris on the Internet.”

“I think there are a few featuring him in his Chick-lad suit too. It was the cutest thing ever. Wanna see?”

“Aren’t you worried about him deleting the blog off the internet?” Tim asked as Marinette looked through her phone.

“My brother may be good at hacking but he can’t reach the level of Max Kante who made an AI at fourteen and coded the Ladyblog. Besides, Alya has back-ups and I have back-ups too. Mostly footages of Chick-lad in action.”

“Show us.” they all demanded.

------

In the next JL meeting,

“So regarding the problem in the-” Batman was saying as the presentation screen blacked out.

“On it.” Cyborg said as he got up to make it work again but the screen flickered back on before he can do anything.

‘Batman.’ A voice that suspiciously sounded like Nightwing narrated as clips of Batman fighting on the streets of Gotham, driving the Batmobile, facing off many Gotham Rouges and posing with the other Justice League members played. ‘The Dark Knight of Gotham. The Caped Crusader. Thought to be smartest and most dangerous member of the Justice League.’

‘But all heroes made their start somewhere...’

A news clip played showing Paris being wrecked by an akuma and Nadja reporting the scene. English subtitles are inserted for those who don’t understand French. Most of the members are confused as Batman felt horror beginning to set in. He might not be able to show his face to the other heroes again after this stunt his children had pulled.

The camera zoomed in on the girl in red and black fighting the orange-skinned person with a rope weapon of some sort. Wonder Woman gasped as she recognised a Ladybug user. Then, a younger boy with yellow and red feather designs, slammed into the akuma. The video paused right before the boy made impact with his mouth wide open. A circle is drawn around the boy dressed as a rooster? and an arrow pointed towards him with the words ‘Batman, aged 11’ next to it. ‘Former alias: Chick-lad’ was under it.

Red Hood’s voice was soon heard. ‘This is the infamous Dark Knight in his humble beginning. Before Gotham, there was Paris. The city of Love had dark days upon it. The young boy took up the mantle of Chick-lad and fought the demons that plagued the cities in a rather startling bright yellow. He fought alongside Ladybug who is most known for being the leader of the team that lead the charge. But we are not focusing on her right now. We are going to show you the brave chicken who had feathers on his suit.’

“No. No. No.” Bruce said as he desperately tries to turn the documentary or whatever it was off. Green Arrow and Green Lantern had began recording on their phones. Superman tried not to laugh at his friend. Cyborg looked like he can’t comprehend the boy on the screen was the same dark, not as intimidating anymore, figure in front of him.

Cue clips of Chick-lad in action and dramatically saying a lot of cheesy one-liners and puns as he try to take down akumas by himself with his bow and arrows, much to Ladybug’s visible frustration. Some horrible attempts at trick shots with the bow.

Videos of Ladybug scolding a self-satisfied but bloody Chick-lad on irresponsibly using his powers to tie up citizens for simple crimes like littering.

------

An amused Ladybug filming herelf,

“Hi, Ladybug here, on the 17th June of 19**, Robin Hood over there decided that he was going to see how many cars he can carry.” (LB calls Chick-lad Robin Hood as a nickname in the suits because of the bow.)

Camera switches to said hero under a bus and 5 cars, struggling to hold it up.

“On a good day, he can’t lift 100lbs for two minutes. But with the added Miraculous strength we can lift more than a ton for over an hour. Let’s add more and see what the limit is, shall we?”

“Ladybug, no. Help me. I can’t carry it anymore.”

“No..*Laughs* oh shit. Wait. Hang on. I am coming. Don’t you dare drop that. The Miraculous Ladybug is not for fixing the things you broke.”

Scene Cut.

A masked boy in a black cat suit was filming this time. “Bonjour, beautiful City of Lights, Chat Noir here, LB is taking medical leave due to her illness but her replacement is filling in the meantime and unfortunately, he’s not..the best with the yo-yo.”

The camera move to show Chick-lad in a red and black form-fitting suit with some armour. He was suspended in mid-life, tangled up with strings and hanging from what looks like the structure of the Eiffel Tower like a bug trapped in a spider web. He was furiously trying to get free but gets more tangled up in the strings.

“Paris is doomed.” Chat Noir deadpanned before asking, “Should I be getting LB, little chick?”

“No. Do not get my sister. I told her that I can handle Paris while she is incacipated and I will....once I get out of these stupid things.”

“Don’t diss the yo-yo. It did nothing to you.”

“It’s a horrible choice for a weapon. Bows and arrows are way better.”

-----

Green Arrow laughed, “I have to get a recording of that.”

Batman had given up trying to turn the thing off (he cursed his decision to make the screen battery-powered so it didn’t turn off when he pulled the plug) and was face-down on the table with sympathetic pats from Wonder Woman while she fan-girled in the moments when Ladybug is on screen.

Flash had gone and gotten popcorn for everyone.

-----

Someone filming Chick-lad as he taunts the akuma and evading its attacks until a yo-yo wrapped around him and pulled him out of the akuma’s range. The camera followed his trajectory. There was a pissed Ladybug on a nearby rooftop, now holding Chick-lad by the back of his suit.

“CHICKEN-LAD FOGHORN LEGHORN THOMAS WA- BUG. You are in so much trouble.”

“There was an akuma.” He weakly said

“You were grounded by Al and I can handle the akuma.”

“Well, Ladybug.” The akuma said, “Prepare to be-”

“Shut it. Can’t you see that I am talking to this little superhero here who is supposed to be at home because he is grounded?” The akuma obeyed and awkwardly stood around.

“Al was worried when you disappeared. Stop being so reckless, you piece of drumsticks.”

“This is rich coming from the girl who lets herself get eaten by a T-Rex.”

“It was part of the plan and you mister are going home right now.”

“No.”

“Do it or you ain’t getting any of Al’s snickerdoodles.”

“Fine.”

-----

“Hey, Robin Hood! Whatcha thinking about?”

Chick-lad was in a familiar pose of Batman when he is in his brooding mood.

He didn’t look up, ignoring his sister. Ladybug placed an egg under him as the camera shakes from suppressed giggles.

“Are you brooding again? I swear it’s hard to...no way.” Ladybug said in faux surprise.

This got Chick-lad’s attention. “What?”

“There’s an egg under you. How is there an egg up here?!”

The tiny hero stood up, “Har Har, no way I am falling for that... Holy shit, that’s an egg. How is it here?”

“Unless…”

Chick-lad looked horrified. “No…I mean there is no feasible way that I..”

“You laid an egg!”

“No no no no….nuh uh...I did not lay an egg.”

“I mean you brood all the time and the pro-long use of the Miraculous does give certain characteristics to our human bodies.”

“Your weird craving of aphids is a way different territory than me laying an egg. I laid an egg, Ladybug! I can’t do that. I am a healthy male Rooster.”

“That’s your own child you are talking about.”

“I am not ready to be a father.” (The caption ‘said the man who proceeds to adopt a gazillion children’ appeared under Chick-lad.)

“Well, what do we do with it?” Chick-lad asked as he tentatively picked the egg up.

“We could eat it. Omelet for breakfast sounds good.” Ladybug suggested.

Chick-lad caressed the egg like it was a precious baby, “Help me hide it from Alfred. I will do anything.”

“No. We are not going to eat my kid.”

“So you decided to be a responsible father, then, little brother.”

“Deal.”

Screen cut to a dark screen like a camera was hidden inside a bag.

“-ONE WEEK! THAT’S SEVEN DAYS, 168 HOURS, 10080 MINUTES OR 604800 SECONDS!”

Someone was laughing very hard.

“THAT’S HOW LONG YOU WATCHED ME BABY THAT FAKE EGG AND MADE ME THINK I WAS THE FATHER. FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK, YOU WATCHED ME SING LULLUBIES AND TELL STORIES TO IT.”

“Fatherhood suited you.”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT YOU EVEN GOT ALFRED IN ON IT!!! ALFRED!”

“He thought this might make you learn to be more responsible. And hush you don’t want to wake up little Eggbert.”

“You are the worst.”

Ladybug cackles, “I know.”

------

The compilation lasted 20 minutes before it ended with a side-by-side comparisons of the various poses by Chick-lad, next to a Batkid trying to recreate it.

Batman stood up with every shred of dignity he still had left, “None of you will breathe a word about what happened today.” and walked out of the room.

“How is it after being embarrassed like that he manages to still scare me?”

There are a few inside jokes made from that ‘presentation’. Phrases like ‘the chicken grew up to be a bat’ baffled other members’ who didn’t see it. Until Oliver and Hal did a movie night and showed them the video that Oracle emailed them.

Ollie got a recording of a young Bruce saying “Bow and arrows are better.” in French on his phone. It’s one of the phrases in French that he knows. He says it everytime Batman has a disagreement with him. (Bruce once took out a custom bat-bow and arrows in a meeting and did an awesome archery trick that narrowly missed Green Arrow by a millimetre and proceeds to say that his skills are ‘rusty’.)

Later, he would tell newbie heroes that Batman once said, “C'est un choix d'armes horrible. L'arc et les flèches sont meilleurs.” and that means, “It’s a horrible choice of weapons. Bow and arrows are better.” in French. Bruce walked by once and told the newbie that it was taken out of context and that the horrible weapon in question was a yo-yo.

Wonder Woman passed her number to Batman to give it to Ladybug in front of everyone.

“Hey, Supes, who’s that?”

“It’s Batman’s sister, apparently. Used to be a superheroine with some magic earrings about twenty years ago. And those earrings used to belong to Diana’s mother.”

“Batman has a sister? And there’s two of them?”

-----

Stephenie had tried to fight crime with a yo-yo. It went horribly for everyone involved.

Damian asked to spar with Marinette before she left. She beats him with a custom yo-yo since she rarely uses the Miraculous nowadays. She left it for Damian as a very late or early birthday present.

Damian had trained himself to use it as a weapon since if his aunt can do it, so can he and carries it around because it has benefits like ‘it’s a toy, Father. It’s to entertain myself in that boring prison they call school.’

He also learned how to do tricks with it. He took down some would-be kidnappers with the yo-yo as Damian Wayne. (Stephanie was jealous of how good Damian was and asked him to teach her.)

------

Marinette and Bruce finally made up (skipping over the angst plot) and there were more visits from Aunty M. She does turn down being a vigilante again, choosing to focus on her new role as co-CEO of Wayne Enterprise to lighten the load but made a special appearance on a very busy night.

“Eddie! How are you? I see you are still doing purple on green.”

That voice. Whoever said that Batman was scarier one was wrong. The OG Red Hood was the one who plagues his nightmares to this day.

The Riddler turned around, hoping he was wrong. The rumours said that she was dead. But dying meant nothing to the Bats since the second Robin came back to life and was the current Red Hood.

There was a chilling sound of metal against concrete walls. “Eddie…”

“You can’t be real. You can’t.” His men were looking at him like he had gone mad. They had never seen their boss this terrified before. A few older ones from the early days dropped their weapons and run off.

Out of the shadows, a figure in red stepped out and the metal of her gun glinted under fluorescent light.

“I left Gotham for a nice vacation and what do I see after 5 years of absence? Idiots like you who still pairs green with purple.”

Riddler gets on his knees and began begging for mercy. Riddler’s goons get knocked out by the other bats as OG Red Hood tore into his fashion choices.

-----

“I mean I don’t get why people is getting so worked up over this new Red Hood.” A newbie henchman said.

“There’s another one? Did the current up and one die again?” Penguin asked.

“No. I think they are sharing the name. The old one is still around but there’s another one with the same name. She’s the one without a helmet and wears an actual red hood. I heard rumours that she has a voice of a demon, literally. They also say that Riddler surrendered himself when she showed up on the scene. You okay, boss?” he asked a very pale Penguin.

“She’s back. I thought she left for good. Batman probably welcomed her back with open arms if she is back on the streets catching the likes of us. Pack your bags, boys. We are moving out of Gotham.”

“Why? And where to, boss?”

“Anywhere but here.”

“Come on, Boss. She’s just another Bat. More work for us but we can handle her.”

“You fools. That woman is the Red Hood. The Original before there were any Robins working for Batman. When the name Batman was nothing more than a myth, a bogeyman for criminals, she was Bloody Mary story. Say her name three times and she will show up to hunt you down. The Red Hood you know now is great at catching criminals yes but she is the predator and we are the prey. She will stop at nothing, I repeat nothing to catch us. With Batman, he will let us get away to save the innocents. With her, I once left her with a ticking time bomb stuck to several hostages and got on a train to Chicago. Do you know who I saw when the train pulled into the station? She was standing on the platform, with that red hood over her head, waiting for me.”

“Aren’t you a little old for campfire stories, Oswald?” The voice asked with amusement from behind him. The same voice that had Riddler screaming for the hills. Penguin turned very pale.

“You are not getting me this time.” Penguin snarled as he called for his men and activated the bomb under his club.

“None of that now.” She grabbed the remote and de-activated the bomb. She then grabbed his collar and put a gun to his head.

“You remember what happened to the old Black Mask the last time I was here, right? When Batman was less tolerant of people breaking his no-kill rule. I will make you join him if you don’t call off your men and give me the information I came here for. I will even spare you from paying for your medical bills if you cooperate nicely and turn yourself back into Arkham.”

Penguin agreed, begging for his life.