#also I still don't know if I should post my art I am scared

[imjustgoose]

Day....5 and 6 of reading Fourth Wing. It's getting too much

⚠️SPOILERS FOR THE BOOK BEYOND THIS POINT⚠️

How mf typical that Violet gets the super rare giant black dragon AND the golden feathertail that supposedly NEVER bonds. Oh, you're the super duper special protagonist? Anyone who gets to bond only gets one normal dragon? Let's make you more special to the point where it borders on My Immortal levels of special. AND I ACTUALLY LOVE MY IMMORTAL!!!!

Can we have normal people getting normal circumstances or do we as readers have such terrible attention spans that we cannot fathom normal? I get it, Violet saved the feathertail, she likes being a hero, but I'm ngl it is discouraging to see Fourth Wing and its sequels get such love. Is there no hope for my normal guy? Do I have to give Canar the ability to solve equations with his peengis or can he be the way I want him to be?? Idk gang, hopefully it will get better.

[krockat]

hey. Hey. person reading this right now. if you already feel bad about this, or are aware of this, and you for example have intrusive thoughts about dirt and stuff - don't feel so bad about this.

and i think the implication that 'everyone should feel after touching any public surface like they've touched dog poo'

and by extension that that should feel poison and by perhaps extension even perhaps Should make you feel dread, and perhaps even feel like a bad or shameful person for it?

i think, we should probably walk that back a little. i think it easily comes across as that, and could be triggering people's anxieties about this, in an unfair way.

absolutely - cleaning your hands good and keeping good hygiene is good, but the feeling bad about it part? you do not need to feel bad or anxious or dread about it during or about it.

you also do not have to Make yourself feel so bad about it.

and if you read this and realize maybe you haven't taken your hand hygiene seriously enough, you can always change and improve.

and that it will be okay. change, good change, can always start today. there are also many good handwashing tutorials that came into (re) creation after covid hit 2020.

also, for context - because I do not mean to be rude to op or previous commenter, i am specifically writing this as a person who has intrusive thoughts and dirt phobia, but am recovering,

and I just feel like this post has great points and perspectives that I don't often see shared - that I want to reblog! and also wanted to talk about that perhaps moral ocd/dirt ocd triggery thing, and not let that pass without that commentary.

and that also as a person with intrusive thoughts and dirt phobia, that YES oh my gosh THANK you,

it really is so scary sometimes and isolating how people do not even consider these things with hygiene, and I've also talked to people about it but they still don't see the point!

i know my fears and concerns about dirt are not Just irrational - and I feel like people often dismiss my knowledge about dirt and hygiene Because I have these diagnoses.

And i Guess it's easy to ignore my concerns and pleas if they can dismiss me because of them.

Washing my hands as I come home?? a given. also washing my hands before I touch my cat!

cats can also get covid (last I heard, that was mid early hit of the pandemic hitting though, science might have found more) and so like i do Not want to mess around - not for me Or for him!

also I've known so many people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom.

tw for below: REALLY nasty hand hygiene

i had a parent (i disowned them) that used to sometimes skip out on washing his hands after he shat.

like I could hear him shitting and could also hear him flushing, not turning on the washbin, and immediately exiting the bathroom.

i tried to tell the rest of my family members and others but they just didn't believe me.

also if you touch your genitals (including dicks) or underwear in the bathroom, or touch the toilet, or the toilet roll that has been used, You should wash your hands! It's Not Cleannn

I Do Not get people who do not get that. at all.

in the vein of "how do you stay safe from getting sick", I wanna say that something I always noticed as a kid was that a lot of the time when I went to people's houses and we would leave at some point to the mall or the park or something and then come back home…I don't remember any of them washing their hands when we got back inside. they'd just immediately lead me back to their room or the living room or something, and then I'd feel incredibly self-conscious about going to their bathroom to wash my own hands. and I always thought it was absolutely bizarre because the way I was raised, the first thing you do when you come back home after taking your shoes and jacket off is go wash your hands. it's common sense. why on planet earth would you not wash your hands. you've just been touching a hundred public surfaces that could have anything on them and you think as soon as you set foot in your own house all the germs you've picked up just evaporate? it's absolutely insane to me to know that so many people don't bother washing their hands. WASH YOUR HANDS.

[livingsurreal]

More thoughts and theories about our favorite Necromancer

My darlings, I have too many thoughts and my obsession is running wild. (How I missed you, hyperfocus). If you have read my last meta post about our Emmrich, here it is: First Meta Post

That is not a required read however. I am still wondering why anyone is reading my word vomit U_U

Anyway, I love reading other peoples theories, so please, send me yours. <3 And a lot of thanks and love for all you darlings who make this fandom such a beautiful and nice place. Especially to @jaal-ama-daravv - who makes the most beautiful videos, and writes such wonderful character studies.

Warning, from here on there will be spoilers as well as mentions of sex. If you don't want to read about any of that, do not read the rest.

Also pictures and way too many words. This is a ten page word document, save yourself while you can. I tend to go off on a tangent once I start writing. I am also well aware that not everyone will agree. This is just my personal read on Emmrich.

Now, after my first essay I have some more thoughts on Emmrich and Rook and specifically their intimate relationship.

Emmrich is such an interesting and baffling contradiction. On the one hand he is confident, self-assured, all manners and poise. He is smart, and he knows it. He has special gifts, and he knows it.  He is confident without being proud. He likes to teach others without being arrogant. He still likes to learn about new things and is, as far as I’ve seen, never judgmental about different beliefs and ways of life. (Unless someone treats him with disdain or bully him)

He is a man who is confident speaking of his thoughts and feelings and fears. How he just casually drops his thanatophobia is just astonishing. He is honest and open-minded in the best ways.

And then there is the other side of him. The wet kitten side of him. As open and honest as he is about his emotions, when we get to the meat of it, to the scary bit, the real feely bit, he locks up completely. As long as it is surface level (or he can pretend its surface level), everything is up for discussion. But once we reach deeper and touch *love* he gets so scared and refuses to admit and commit to his feelings. And as much *death* scares him, love scares him more.

So how does that influence his intimate relationship with Rook?

According to the banter with Lace “everyone knows about it”. He was rather surprised by that.

That tells us two things:

They were trying to be sneaky or at least keep their private business private.

They failed, massively.

Add to that Laces comment about them moving rather fast (when, where? I would have loved to have seen that. Comments like that just give me the feeling that we should have had some more cutscenes after the dinner date, to show us those two besotted fools).

But back to them moving rather fast. I would guess that they both did a lot of gazing lovingly at each other, blushing, spacing out while watching their darling, stollen kisses in the hallway when they thought no one was watching, stuff like that. Just being to besotted fools.

But moving fast usually includes sex. Lots of needy, sweaty sex. The inability to keep their hands of each other.

That moves us to the question of the day – did they have sex before their coffin time?

Let’s look at what we know about Emmrich. Emmrich is no virgin. That man has experience. He had past lovers. But what he tells us at that sweet diner date – “nothing serious for years.” We know not much else besides his crush on a boy in his youth and his fling with the Orlesian Art Lady. He is not someone to kiss and tell and that is appreciated. That man has class, and we love him for it.

So - nothing SERIOUS for years. If he hadn’t had ANY relationships in the past years, he would have said so. But what he says is that he did, in fact, have UNSERIOUS relationships in the last few years.

I would read that to be somewhere along the “fwb, lovers, affairs, paramours, companions, a fling, a little romance” line. Something not purely, but mainly physically driven. Someone you like and respect, you can go out and have a good time with, have lots of amazing sex with (b/c he is a living being and has his needs). Spending time with people he liked, was sexually attracted too, but nothing as serious as love. A physical relationship. A little thrill, some fluttering, but never that deep.

Not to say that those situationships would not have been romantic. He is (buried under all that resignation) a deeply romantic man. I am pretty sure he went on nice romantic dates with his previous paramours too. That this is something he just enjoys too much. Treating a companion with some quality time, not just in, but also out of the bedroom.

But after he’d given up on his dreams, he did not have any notion of those flings being more than a “enjoy the moment”. There was never the expectation of deeper feelings, beyond friendship, attraction and/or respect. All those romantic gestures were nothing more than a little bit of “play pretend”. To give himself the illusion of true romance, just for a little time.

Take the fact that you can go a “everything you do is creepy but I still flirt with you and I want you to throw me over that tombstone” and his comment on “the attraction of the forbidden”? This is not a relationship born of mutual respect and deeper feelings but out of purely physical attraction. And he is OK with that.

I want to repeat – Emmrich is very much okay with a casual, sexual affair. He does not require love to have a relationship with someone.

And then think about that Johanna calls Rook specifically his “paramour”. Which is a lover, especially an illicit one. This word was very specifically chosen by Johanna. For various reasons, I would think.

For one, I do believe that it is a dig at his dreams of the eternal flame. It’s a dig at him, that Rook is not his love, but his paramour. A lover for a time. To be parted from soon enough. B/c that silly dream of his, as if it ever would become reality.

Second, I think it is a comment on the way his relationships often went, especially in the past years. Those unserious flings of his. Never to amount to anything substantial.

Did he try to have something serious in the past? Oh yes, for sure. But it never worked out. Then he gave up his dream and just let himself have a good time with people he found to be nice and attractive.

To pick up my point of self-sabotage from my last meta post – I’ve come to a point where I believe Emmrich is a kind of chaser. I know someone like that and it’s so fucking tragic.

Emmrich feels deeply and strongly. When he falls in love with someone it’s a lot of emotion. But at that point it’s all dream, want, wish. As soon as someone returns these feelings - those dreams, wants and wishes become reality. And reality is scary. In this wishful dream about the eternal flame, there is no fear. No fights. No loss. But that is not reality. As soon as it becomes reality, he gets scared. Before, his feelings were no threat, because you can’t lose what you don’t have. Once those feelings are returned, there is a clear possibility of losing, of being lost, of being left behind.

Emmrich is not a chaser because he enjoys the hunt. He is a chaser because being loved by someone is scary. So damn scary. So, he starts to pick fights and is looking for excuses. From being the chaser, he becomes the chased. He is hunted by his fears, and his fight or flight instincts go all flight.

After years of this cycle he gives up. Resigns himself to flings and little romances without even thinking of more. Or so he thinks. Dreams like that don’t die, they just get buried.

And I’d think that there was not many, even of those short term flings, lately. His life revolves around work and Manfred.

Now remember he comments on Rook “showing unexpected interest in a new companion”.

First of all – unexpected.

They are a daring adventurer. He thinks of himself clearly as the more boring one, compared to Rook. He never expected any of those flirts. But he is clearly flattered.

Second – companion.

That was such a weird way of saying “hey do you like me?”. This whole “companion” thing does not scream “I have FEELZ for you/you have FEELZ for me” but rather, “I think you might want to spend some quality time with me”.

The possible answers - dashing good looks, kindness, his way of words.

He feels he is fortunate if Rook thinks him good looking. Hallo, Mr. Professor, sir… Have you looked in the mirror lately? Consider that he is meticulously grooming himself, takes his exercises daily in the morning. That man does not like himself aging. I think it is a reminder of how his pending death is a step closer every day. But it shows, to him, that his efforts of taking care of himself are not in vain. Or maybe it shows him that his age does not matter. Rook finds him attractive despite (or because) of his physical age.

Rooks comment on his very charming way of putting things makes him hope his years behind the lectern have proved useful. Hey *years* behind the lectern. Again, this is a way of saying his age is NOT a problem but a benefit.

If Rook remarks his kindness, he answers “you humble me”. It’s the one answer that does not touch his age/experience/looks. It’s a remark on an innate character trait he possesses. Kindness. His whole demeanor in this option shows he is actually touched. And maybe a bit baffled. He did not expect this, at all. Its like he sees his kindness not as an attractive trait. Which he should. He is nice without TM and its sexy as hell.

The next part is his statement “If your attentions go beyond charming flattery… that would interest me, indeed”. This reads to me not necessarily as “do you have feelings for me” but as “do you just enjoy the flirting, or do you want to do more than flirting?”

And oh boy, does he want to do more than flirting. I want to repeat my earlier statement – this man has given up on love. But some little fling with an exiting young adventure who was constantly, awkwardly flirting with him? Hell, yeah.

(I want to remind you that we were able to have mutually enjoyed flirts with Dorian as fem!Inky. You can flirt with someone and still never want to fuck them. And you are also perfectly able to want more than flirting without having deeper feelings. Like sweet, dump Shepaloo said it so eloquently “Lets bang, okay?”)

Again, I want to pick up a point of my last post, that this is all surface level thoughts. I do believe that their emotional attraction and depth of feelings go deeper, from the start. But how often does it take quite a bit of time to realize one’s own feelings. Especially this wonderful, silly man whose modus operandi is running away.

Now, an interested Rook can answer in an open “lets see where this goes” way. Mirroring his rather open idea of a little romance, a fling, some quality time. Something that does not have to end in an eternal flame, but a simple enjoyment and exploration of the moment.

Rook can also reply with a “I think they do.” – What Rook actually says is “I think they already…”

And conveniently Rooks answer here is cut short by our sweet boy Manfred. They get cut short, no matter what answer you choose, but in this specific case, I am convinced this was very much on purpose. What would the whole sentence have been?

“I think they already go way beyond flattery.” (?!?) Something along those lines. But that goes into danger zone. WAY into danger zone.

If Rook had finished that sentence, at that point in their budding romance? It would have been over before is all started. Too much, too soon. Too much for him, period.

Now we have the hard lock – their sweet romantic moment in the Memorial Gardens. And he is smitten. He fell hook, line, and sinker for his own play pretend. Just a little romance, but that man is falling, fast. (Not that he would admit that to himself).

A beautiful date, all arranged by Emmrich, to spend time with Rook. Because a couple should have a quite moment to get to know each other. I mean there were menu cards with gilded edges, ffs. And, oh yes, they were “lets dig into the feelings”, he said couple. He is falling, falling, falling fast. But it still hasn’t hit him, how deep he has fallen for his darling Rook. Poor Emmrich.

Then a fight, where we really see the wet kitten side of him for the first time. A little wet, feral kitten, hissing at the hand that’s trying to feed it.

Emmrich is lashing out for no good reason (or no good reason for anyone but himself). There is no real confidence there but a desperate act of pretending. An iron (slipping) grip, trying to control himself and the narrative. Shoulders squared, back straight, an arrogant stance, raised chin, turned half-away from Rook, and a condescending way of talking to Rook.

Like I said in my last post – he is working his way up to breaking up with them. And he tells himself it’s like ripping off a bandaid. Be strong and confident and say what you have to say, and they will see the wisdom of that.

It’s only that, they don’t. Because there IS NO wisdom in what he is doing right now. They don’t take his bullshit but throw it back at him. They don’t accept his mock excuses.

Look at him here, how he looks down ON them. I can’t recall any other time he looks down on Rook, despite him being a tall king.

Especially the route where Rook throws it in his face that he DOES in fact love them. Speak what he can’t even think.

“I can’t… At my…”

“I can’t love you. At my age…” Why not? Does he not deserve love, just because he is a bit older? It’s just heartbreaking how he views himself.

And again, he lashes out.

“I am perfectly serious.” So is Rook.

“One of us has to pay attention to these things.” As if Rook is not paying attention. They got to the meat and bones of his problem in just a few seconds.

No matter what route you go here, the gist is the same. He is scared shitless, treats Rook like a child, and goes on how the is the only one thinking the important thoughts.

When Rook in reality way ahead of him. They thought about it and came to the conclusion that being with Emmrich is a really good idea.

Rook knew they were falling for someone older than them. (Even if that age difference is just a decade, with a mid-40s Rook.) They knew it, and still went with it. They are not a child who is too inexperienced and stupid to make decisions about their (love) life.

But now, here, at this moment? Emmrich treats them with disdain. Like a silly little person, who does not think things through. He holds himself above them. Physically and mentally. They are too young, he knows better.

And not once has he done that before. He always treated them as an equal. He follows them into the most dangerous situations ffs. He trusts them with his life in a fight against would-be gods.

All that fear and anger at himself that reaches a new high get redirected at Rook.

The next day they are off to Tearstone Island. That night must have been hell. For both of them. But its going to get much much worse.

In any case, Emmrich seems to have come to some conclusion or realization, because on that island? He apologizes.

They both did react very emotionally, but he came at Rook with superiority and, to a certain degree, dishonesty. All fueled by his fear. So that he is the one to take the first step and apologize to Rook instead of doubling down? An important step. As I said in my last post – he NEEDED to be called out. A sweet and nice counterargument would not have had the impact Rooks raw an honest emotion hat on him.

Emmrich “Rook? Darling? I wanted to say-“

Rook “Yeah, about that argument…”

Emmrich “(Sighs) It’s no time to apologize, is it?”

And here we have the most heartbreaking line, in hindsight. “We’ll talk back home, Emmrich. I promise.”

(Narrator: but they would, in fact, not talk about it back home. Because someone would not go home.)

One fight and weeks of horror later, they find themselves in a private crypt and finally they do more than share a kiss.

Now - to the point I originally wanted to explore with this post – is this in fact their first time? (I am sorry, but my brain is a circle and nothing makes sense)

Let’s look at what evidence we have from the cut-scene.

Rook did not know he is an early riser.

That leaves two possibilities:

They never had sex up until that point.

They did have sex, but never spent the night together.

Now what does that mean?

This depends a lot on your personal Rook and how they feel about sex in general. If Rook wants to wait, or is not ready, he will absolutely accept and respect that.

But for the sake of this analysis lets go with the idea that Rook is not opposed to sex at an earlier date.

They never slept with each other

Why? He clearly was not opposed to casual relationships in the past. What would hold him back now? Especially if you recall Laces comment about them moving fast. Why not jump into the bedroom?

Now my first crack theory is that they get interrupted, like every time. (Rook interrupted The Dread Wolf, and now he cursed them to always be interrupted when they want to have some private time)

But now, in all seriousness, maybe it’s just that part of him DOES realize that this goes beyond a very unserious relationship. That they both have deeper feelings, that spark of something greater, something beautiful.

So, he holds back. He does not give his all. He is charming, he is flirty, he takes Rook on dates. But it’s all very technical. Very performative. Yes, he is a very romantic man, yes he enjoys those moments. But there is always a feeling of control.

Those moments when you see him let go a bit (that kiss beneath the eternal lovers, “I think, sometimes you indulge me”), are so beautiful and you glimpse a bit of the man behind those walls.

He has a tell, you see. (I am telling you about it further down)

But generally, he feels very much in control of himself. And to lie with Rook? To go all the way? Too dangerous. Who knows what happens in that sweet moment after la petit mort? What secrets would his lips spill?

2. They slept together, but did not spent the night together.

They do have sex, but sleep alone in their own beds. Casual sex is fine, but to fall asleep in each other’s arms? Too much. Too real. Sex okay, but sleepy post coitus cuddly? Woah, slow down your horses.

So, they have sex, preferably in Rooks bed. First, does he even have a bed? Second, it’s way easier to leave Rooks bed after the act, than throwing them out afterwards.

Oh, and how many reasons he has. Rook needs their uninterrupted sleep; they are stressed and must have proper rest. He wants to get some reading done before he retires. He needs to look after Manfred.

Oh, he is a bad liar, for sure. He is lying more to himself than to Rook. I would think that (if this is the build up to their fight) Rook realizes that he is giving poor excuses.

And the sex itself? A technical 10/10. He knows his anatomy, after all. But his heart is not really in it. He can’t allow himself to. He holds back, keeps a tight lid on his emotions. They both are well spent afterwards, but like so much else, it’s performative. Technically very well executed, but rarely do you see HIM, the real him, behind all that performance. Whenever something slips through, he reels back and closes up.

And then we are in that crypt. Rook was gone for weeks. The last thing they said that night before were words of anger. Rook called him out on his feelings and from that point on there was no possible way of lying to himself anymore. Those feelings were there. They were real. Rooks feelings were real. And those weeks spent in desperation, trying to  get them back? Those walls came crashing down.

His true face, when all the walls are gone? You see that face when Rook leads him to the coffin. There is no pretense anymore. No performance. Just him, and all his love for Rook. The amount of emotion the animation team packed into those short moments in the cutscene? Mindblowing. Who ever crafted that expression on his face? They are the GOAT. I watch this part of that scene on repeat, and it never gets old.

So, I told you about how he has a tell, yes? Okay, two actually, but we all know surprised pikachu Emmrich. In that last scene it is resolved in the most beautiful way.

He looks down, when something touches him deeply, when he goes into his feels.

A few (way to many) examples:

And the worst wet kitten look? After the fight, when Rook leaves.

Its a look of shame. Of hurt. This man is hurting so badly.

Now here at the end we have that moment when Rook leads him to the coffin. His face turns down, like before. But here he looks up at Rook. He does not turn his eyes away but looks directly at them. Ahhh my heart.

Now, think about the fact that ROOK is leading in that moment?

In those moments where Rook leads or startles him (or is simply annoying enough so that the truth slips out), you see the most emotion from him.

Rooks flirting startles him, and he has a pikachu face reaction every time.

Their first kiss? Rook leans against the monument, and leans up, telling him without words that NOW is the time for a kiss. How can he not go for a second kiss?

That moment when Rook calls Manfred “our son”? He very conveniently ignores the word “OUR” and goes in defense mode over the word “son”. But called out on his feelings for Manfred? How can he deny them? He has tears in his voice when he says how he would not exchange this moment for anything? A real, deep emotion.

In their fight Emmrich is again all technical, all performance, so logical (or what he sells himself as logic). But Rook wrestles that moment from him and takes lead, calls him out on his bullshit.

In the crypt Rook pulls him up into a kiss and then leads him to the coffin, guiding him, taking him with them.

Most of the other times he takes the lead, very much in control. But the most emotions you get from him, are those times Rooks leads, when he lets go of this tight control over himself, or he is startled in to a reaction. For all the age difference that is played up in their relationship, in the important moments Rook is the one who guides. And he follows where they lead.

Those little moans he makes? If they did have sex before, I bet he did not make those sounds then. Where they did have some incredible sex, now they are making love. Open, vulnerable. He gives in.

And then they fall asleep together. Skin to skin, arms and legs intertwined. Their hands caressing, no sound but that of their heartbeats and soft breaths. Pure and utter contentment. In that moment nothing exists but them. Can you imagine that moment he woke up? The amount of emotions he must have felt then? This need to speak those little words? Those huge little words. He does not say them, not yet. But he is almost ready.  

Finally, they stand there, on the battlefield of Elgar’nans madness. And he tells Rook. The last wall falls. Gives the most precious thing he can give to anyone.

“I love you.”

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Heyo! Got a question or two. (Or six-)

- Do you ship Mabifica? Or Dipcifica for that matter? I personally like the former more but I'm just imagining Bill's reaction to having to deal with the fact the girl who insulted Mabel is now dating her/her brother.

Actually, even if you ship neither, I just want his reaction the the Pine twins now being friends(?) With Paz.

Would he try to scare her off? Would he warm up to her?

(If you couldn't already tell, Pacifica is one of my favorite characters, just below Mabel.)

- Does Stan and Ford ever get as close as they did at the end of the show? I mean, Ford must be reeling, sure. But.. Do they ever get on that boat?

- Does Bill make an effort to reconcile with Ford? Even just a show of apology?

- And does Ford bond with the twins? Would he just see them as another thing Bill has tainted?

- Also. Are you planning to make fanfiction of this? Or a comic? Or any media that tells the story? It's now become an integral part of my life.

- Last one! What other bonding moments does Bill have with Wendy? We've got the bets, yeah. But is that all?

(I found your au an hour and a half ago, and I'm already this invested. That is absolutely amazing, considering I don't really latch on to things. (Thanks a lot, autism) I love the art, and I love the tidbits. If it ever gets too overwhelming, don't be afraid to take a breather!! ><)

Hello! I shall do my best to answer!

— I’m personally a Dipcifica enjoyer myself! I don’t see them getting together this summer, so it’s less of a dating thing, but Bill would be decent at recognising the signs of a crush forming thanks to Mabel exposure all summer. He’d be completely against it. He’s listing every reason why the Northwests suck to Dipper, all the times Pacifica has done something to make Mabel feel awful! He’s maybe a little dramatic about it, in true Bill fashion, and is taken aback when Mabel insists it’s okay.

Pacifica’s changing, they both say! Mabel fully intends to be Dipper’s wingman!

Bill finds that idea ridiculous. People don’t just change. Humans are known for staying the same once they’ve settled into their body — that’s just how it is.

Pacifica has proven to be the opposite of everything Bill has taught the twins, and so he sees the blooming friendship as a threat and doesn’t like it. It doesn’t help that it’s around the time his fear of changing is at an all time high, so he’s maybe projecting a little onto Pacifica.

He definitely tries to scare her off initially, and when that doesn’t work, he settles with threatening her should she ever make Mabel upset against. His threats are… very intense and it’s clear the issue runs deeper than just Pacifica. He really goes for her insecurities. Honestly, this may be one of his worst moments in front of the twins? Stan ends up having to intervene and try to figure out what’s going on in Bill’s head beyond just being protective over Mabel.

(Pacifica girl I am so sorry)

He doesn’t warm to her per se, not yet, as much as he learns to tolerate her sometimes being around. She does her best to avoid him anyhow.

— Still working out the exact details so I don’t have much to say right now, but yes, he does. A verbal apology from Bill is also kind of a big deal. Like Stan struggles saying Please, and Ford struggles saying thank you, Bill struggles saying sorry.

— Ford does bond with the twins! I think I mentioned in a post a bit ago that Dungeons Dungeons and more Dungeons is like a gateway for their relationship, and it helps Ford become more comfortable around them and vice versa. Though the general unease still lingers at times, Dipper starts to get comfortable asking him more and more questions about Gravity Falls, and Mabel knits him a few sweaters and tries to catch him up on all the pop culture he’s missed etc. Sometimes he snaps at them when he needs space, and he tends to hide behind Stan some days, but they do get to know this new Ford, and begin to get closer to him bit by bit before Summer ends.

I think he does see them as something Bill has tainted, but not in an irreversible way. If anything, it motivates him to try and get to know them more once the initial fear has settled, to try and re-instate himself as Ford Pines, and be their Great Uncle.

— I don’t plan on making a fic or a comic, mainly because I am busy right now and juggling a lot. It just isn’t something feasible for me and I notoriously don’t do well managing long projects. But, I am hoping to do art and maybe mini comics for it, once I defeat my art block and style crisis, perhaps some one-shots too if I can also defeat my eternal writers block. I’m honoured you think that way of it though!!

— They generally have a very positive relationship! Bill is seen as the cooler Stan by her friends, mainly because of the fact he doesn’t really act his age, and happily enables anything they want to do, and so whenever she needs something, she tends to go to him. (“No hard feelings Stan!”) And If Stan taught her how to shoplift, Bill probably taught her how to get away with murder, not that she’d really need that, the thought still counts. They also share similar music tastes, so when Bill’s around the shack, he’ll ask Wendy to blast some AC/DC while they work. He’s also taught her all the ways to get under Stan’s skin, because he knows for a fact she’ll use them.

I think this AU too, he’s the one who showed her the rooftop spot. He encouraged any form of rebelling against the system, even if that means slacking and getting Stan to shout at both of them.

Thank you so much!? That means a lot to hear and I hope you continue to enjoy it!! And I appreciate it, I’m trying to take it slow and answer whatever asks I can and when I can, to avoid getting overwhelmed.

[nomlioart]

I'm sorry...

Hi... I wasn't active because I was healing from everything that happened to me and I was trying to stay safe. I still am. I only come for a short while now, because before I was scared to say anything even though I really wanted to.

Some of you may have heard of the drama with MatchaBunns from twitter, some may not. I don't want to go into great detail about what happened since I don't want to go back to it, I want to forget about it and never go back to it. In short, the previously mentioned person was accused of grooming. And I, naive and thoughtless, defended them, being tricked and manipulated by them, which made me think that there was no grooming. I was trying to defend my no longer friend. Now just thinking about how I didn't realize what grooming really was makes me nauseous. I wanted to help them because I thought that what they were saying was credible, I wanted to trust them. It turned out, however, that I had been defending the wrong person all this time. I feel sick and disgusting of it. They just made my trust issues grow stronger so much. If some friends hadn't reached out to me and convinced me that these actions were seriously wrong, I would have never realized it and been living a lie all the time, convincing myself that the lie was truth.

I want to seriously apologize with all my heart for everything I said, for all my lies, for all the stupid things I did, for just being in touch with Matcha. I don't wanna be like this. I never wanted to be like this. I just wanted to make friends, I always had problems making friends because of my fear and back then I finally felt wanted and appreciated. I just wanted to help, but it only led to a bigger disaster. I'm scared of Matcha. And most of all I seriously wanted to apologize to the victim of all this, who I will leave anonymous. If you're seeing this, you didn't deserve any of this. I don't expect any forgiveness, but I want you to know, all of you, that I seriously mean it, I want you to believe me that I'm really.. really sorry, for all the harm I've done helping them. I am no longer associated with Matcha since April and I made sure I blocked them on all social media I am on. In fact, I myself wanted to break off contact with Matcha since February because I was starting to feel uncomfortable in their company, but I didn't do it because I thought others would turn away from me, thinking that it would be a bad decision. Now I think I could've done it much earlier. Since then I'm not and won't be involved in any dramas anymore and I'll be less active in communities. These last few months it was really tragic for me because of this situation, I had panic attacks many times, I cried every day non-stop, I had four attempts... So far I am getting help, trying not to go back to it and be a better person. I really wanna change, I don't want to be in contact with people who may have a bad influence on me anymore. I'm still young, stupid, naive.. But I still have brains, I should be better than this.

I still have no idea if I'll ever come back here, it may be that I will come back but it may also be that I won't come back at all. My main goal was to say sorry for everything...

However, I am certain of my decision to never return to Twitter, it was a comfort place for me but after a while I realized that it's horrendous. Most of the people there are toxic heartless beings who hurt others.

I will understand if most people don't want to know me now, I don't blame them, quite the opposite, but those who still want to stay, thank you. Thank you so much. You are all important to me, at first I posted and did my art mainly for myself, but seeing how many people support me and love seeing my work, it only lifted my spirits and I did it for you too. I never felt like I would go this far... It was all thanks to you. I love you. And thank you for reading.

nomlio

[lunarleonardo]

Do you have an idea of what you're going to write next ?

Yes... And No.

The current plan is to write my dragon fic. I looove dragons, and I've always loved fics that make my favs dragons. Hoarding Humans is a good example of that ;P I really wanna do it myself! I feel a little weird directly using the concept of HH (just the idea of a dragon's hoard being humans! i've been obsessed with it ever since!!)... I know there's a whole Inspired tab thing on ao3 but remember I was brought up in the animation meme community trenches. I've seen some very vile things said to ""copycats"" (and it's usually just somebody who took inspiration off of someone elses art style or a certain part of another persons meme @_@ don't get me STARTED on the ragebait...) and I am not in the proper emotional state to handle that right now QwQ

However that doesn't mean I can't write about dragons. I have some ideas in mind-- I've properly conceptualized my go-to fantasy world for AUs like this. I know who the main cast would generally be (DICE! Kokichi rounds up some of his classmates from in game :P so people like Gonta, K1B0, Miu, Kaede, Rantaro. . . maybe Kirumi? I have lore trust me. I'm cooking.) I know the main premise of the story, and it goes into my own bullshit with dragons, because lord knows I ever follow any actual myths or tales (´ﾟωﾟ｀) (i read wings of fire that's good enough for me!!!)

I am still trying to learn how to draw dragons in a way I like though. Here's my concept for Maki and Shuichi ^^"

Overall the chances of this fic happening after HGH, as of right now, are fairly high. This is what I plan to write once I'm done with HGH.

But please, please please keep in mind that I . . . am absolutely horrible with making promises about my fics. I'm so forgetful I forget to even check my notes to see what I've forgotten. T_T my fics would be a tiny bit better than they are now if I actually kept track of wtf im doing. maybe i should make a checklist.

Point is, I don't know if this is what I'll write once HGH is done. I've done some estimating and while, for once, I do not have a concrete ending in mind, I can guess how long this'll be. I think... it might be around as long as M5? Somewhere around that 130k mark. Again!! I'm not sure!! I need to figure out what I'm gonna be doing for the non-Tsumugi half of the "recovery" arc, so who knows what the word count for this is gonna be T_T. MY POINT!! MY POINT IS THAT!!! It could change. By the time I'm done with HGH, I might write this dragon fic. I might write a differeny fic. Or I'll lose motivation to write anything for a bit. Lord I am yapping so I'll move on

Que transition, with all that being said, I do have Other ideas in mind!! Ones I've been sitting on for a while!

ONE. Saimatsu mansion :D I've mentioned it here and there, but the idea is that Shuichi and Kaede are plopped on an island and have to escape. It's one of those more out there ideas G_G and I haven't really descended into my full levels of insanity yet (wait until i start posting my crossover aus /j), but this would be bordering on it. I have some more minor ideas for this one, but I haven't rlly explored it yet :'3

TWO. remember unexpendable? yeah so i. i really really like crossover aus. almost as much as i like giving them superpowers. I was thinking of an Undertale x DR fic where I drop Shuichi into the underground. Undertale is super special to me,, it got me out of a really dark place. My favorite OC of mine (Montserrat<3) is an Undertale OC! So I think it'd be a lot of fun, especially since Danganronpa is basically the reason I'm like?? actually living now XD I got a job because posting my DR fics helped me overcome enough of my social anxiety to get employed. So!! It'd be nice. i also think shuichi and papyrus would get along do NOT @ me also undyne would scare the shit out of him. Anyways I dunno if this would be another oneshot, considering the, uh. length of the game. and how insane i could rlly go if i went into the neutral /genocide route stuff too. I dunno. It'd be fun :P i also have doodles wait

THREE. I don't know what could and couldn't be used for a plot twist so I'll keep it vague, but basically it's a fic that involves the ENTIRE CAST. A bit of a challenge for myself. Everyone's back! And all of the blackeneds revert to, like... HGH levels of despairs. So it's up to everyone whos still normal to find a way to make them also normal before, uh. things get worse. TV GIRL BLAST 💥 (oh yeah this would be a kaede-centric fic! her pov for the majority. i had a lot of fun writing her during Unexpendable and i miss her </3)

FOUR. i got really into in stars and time so now i'm even more not normal about time loops. so let's put shuichi in another one! but i wanted to shake it up a bit and really let my less canon-reliant, more creative side flow a bit. It'd also be kind of a message to myself about life... WHATEVER Thats not important. What is important is, hey! I've been watching WAY too many Minecraft ARG analysises than what could possibly be considered healthy for my anxiety, so now I want to sic a bunch of them on Shuichi. this things unfinished because i only have very vague ideas for a few of the loops... but the overarching idea is that even the smallest (but impactful!) change in a choice can lead to an entirely different loop, with an entirely different entity. and during all of the loops, shuichi gets little bits and pieces to the bigger picture, which will break him out of the loops. idk this seems like a big and tiring project so this is more of a "maybe" than the others but i still think it's cool :')

FIVE. ok this one isn't danganronpa... remember when I said I was super into In Stars and Time? I wanted to write an ISAT fic. Siffrin and Bonnie are so so special to me and i wanted to indulge in that. I haven't rlly been writing in my oneshots though so I don't really have a grip on writing anyone from ISAT,, so. :( i have to spiral into full insanity privately before i can determine what is safe to show the internet /hj

And that is all I can think of off the top of my head. :P These ideas have been brewing for quite a bit, and ones that have actual ideas to them. I dunno which one I'll write first... or even if I'll write them. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. Who knows? Maybe I'll break my rules about writing two fics at a time. Just give me time ... and please be patient. I can only write so fast ＼(_ _)

[jasminedragonart]

I am so sorry to anyone who follows me but unfortunately the Marauders have now become the current hyperfixation of my art. I'm making a bunch of little comics about it which I will post elsewhere since I know not everyone on here is... supportive of the HP universe.

LET ME BE CLEAR. I do not support JKR. Like I seriously don't. I think her policies and prejudice is disgusting.

That being said, Harry Potter was a hugely influential part of my childhood and while there are some (a lot) problems with the books, I will say the movies were great and promoted a lot of positive themes that a lot of kids took away from it.

Also, i feel like in terms of art and artist being separated, while Harry Potter himself is still tied a lot with JK, I feel like the Marauders has become this entity of its own.

If anything, this is one of those instances where an entire fandom has literally sprouted from nothing. We have full length novels, literal novels, written from the breadcrumbs of a backstory we don't even have a lot of specifics about. It's truly impressive and I, as it happens every so often, have once again been sucked in.

I'm making a separate blog to post my stuff to. If you're interested I'm sure you'll find my work. If not, that's fine.

But, I do want to say that in terms of fiction, a lot of monumental novels and ideas are built off one another. Fandom seems to forget that a lot of things that are popular today are built off things from the past. We have this amazing adaptation of Interview with the Vampire that was born off a very odd and kind of problematic book. Problematic shouldn't be buried. It should be discussed and made better. If you don't like an author, don't listen to them. Fandom creates its own ecosystem away from the author. We should be allowed to enjoy something or at least be inspired by it without meeting the criticism we're often given.

Again, I'm not supporting JK. I'm not. I'm saying I shouldn't be demonised for liking a series or at least the works inspired by the series that shaped a lot of my childhood. No one should be bullied for having a nuanced opinion. Now, am I going to be giving JK my money? No. I'll support creators if I want merch (which I don't, my HP merch days are long over). I'll probably pirate the books if I want to read them again. But if I want to post art I'll post art. I'm tired of being scared to post things just because of supposed backlash I might receive.

I make my art for me, and right now the only thing I'm inspired to create are these small comics based around the marauders. It's going to change at some point. But I feel like i shouldn't just sit on art when I could be developing it drawing new things now. If I just think instead of drawing, my art is going to be stagnant. I don't know if you guys have noticed but my art has been extremely repetitive these last few years. I'm not inspired by ATLA right now, and if I was, I don't think it's right to keep drawing it when it means I'm not developing. I'm so used to drawing the same faces that they're starting to look alien to me. I need challenges. I need to feel inspired and creative and to push myself. Sure, it's just Harry Potter, but if I draw Harry Potter stuff I'm also learning how to draw werewolves and castles and dragons.

So, this has been long and rambly but, yeah, if I'm not posting here it's because I'm posting elsewhere.

[knific]

hi im john! or zero. i'm a LEESBO and i draw stuff : also im multifandom and i switch interests almost monthly. if you follow me for one thing you might not get that.

i'm fifteen and from the southeast of asia. i can speak different languages but i only prefer being spoken to in english lol!

also we MIGHT be mutuals. this isn't my main blog and that was actually a mistake because i didn't know how to use tumblr by the time. if you see you're being followed by some user called epicflowpow then I guess we're mutuals :') that's my main blog that im inactive on! lol! it's hard to explain

byf:

i have bad memory don't expect me to remember anything personal like ur birthday,

i make sex jokes sometimes ok if ur not comfortable lmk and ill stop,

i post what i want, i might post blood, gore, etc. anything i post may be triggering, if you don't like it block me! the only form of censoring you'll get is the tags so get ready to mute a few (ex: cw blood, cw knife, cw suicide)

my social skills suck.. you can try to talk to me but i get very nervous when talking privately and i might say things i don't mean

i am sometimes rude but it's just for fun lol i don't actually mean it,

i don't reaalyyy use tonetags but ill use them when my wording starts to sound a little serious

uhhh i make homophobic jokes because it's FUNNY. im actually a person of the bacon community though so yeah.

i like to cuss my faves out. i will say very very mean stuff about them and I won't state whether it's positive or negative. if you don't like that then you should probably not read the tags sometimes

i ironically use emojis like 😂🥺🥹😜 etc

-

dni: i don't have a dni because people are gonna interacr with me anyways. ill block whoever makes me feel uncomfortable and who not (pr/shipp*rs are not exceptions lol ALL will be blocked)

-

also i do requests! here are like. rules for my requests n stuff:

i think im most likely to do EVERY request you guys give me, so go crazy! i just won't do it quickly. because im not an art machine

i do any reqs, but i will less likely do/will put for last the oc requests lol :)

okay when I said any reqs i lied: just don't request me taco x pickle loll it's for the sake of some of my mutuals :) i can still draw them hanging out but it won't be tagged as ship or implied ship

i also do any fandom but again i will less likely do fandoms im not in lol

uhh. if im uncomfortable with a ship in particular ill just ignore your req don't bother sending it again or im gonna give you a beating

complicated styled characters are ok but if you wanna give me a first good impression don't send them or you're literally breaking my fingers physically

also comics scare me if you request those too you're also breaking my fingers (it's not prohibited though you can send them but ill cry)

-

tags

0 art: for my art

0 ask: for asks

0 req: art requests!

0 s req: things people draw for me :)

0 reblogs: for reblogs (best muted)

0 txt: me talking

0 talk: me talking w other ppl

0 fave: favourites/saving for later

0 other: other

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Songs to Listen to While Descending into Madness

Hey, remember when I found Ian's perfect theme song for Sunshine in Hell? Well, I found one that fits Joseph's descent into madness and embracing the personality of Jack. Maybe I should make a playlist specifically for Sunshine in Hell sometime...

Not only does it have this manic energy that switches to disturbing and somber, a lot of the lyrics really give me the vibe of the suffering Joseph went through as he tore away at his very identity to become someone and something else.

When did I become afraid of the dark? Are my eyeballs just yet to adjust to seeing the light? The room I'm in is still the same, the shadows have not rearranged it No, the only thing that's changed is how I see at night I fumble for the switch and strap on infrareds and wish For sunshine when the morning's somewhere else But I can't change what time it is or dilate my irises Only what I look at, and I'm looking at myself I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see? I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between When did I become afraid of the dark? Was it when I left the cave and swore I'd never go back? If we can't see each other, then there's no more use for hiding I've decided I'll abide it; why deny the color black? I'm not a flower, not a solar-powered calculator Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition 'Til my fears come to fruition, I'm not scared I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see? I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between The future must know where you've been The past predicts the state you're in The present did and will not last Is, isn't, was, have, hasn't, has All that I ask is, keep those empty frames If nobody's in them, then no one is to blame For your self-portraits, sign another name Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same? I will be my sunshine, I will be my moon at night Who else could I be, when I can't fucking see? I will be my sunshine, I will be my moon at night I'm nowhere now, here's no one now to be And if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares? I'll stay awake tonight

It really gives me vibes of the animatic Sauce made where Jack antagonizes Joseph, particularly that high energy of Jack strutting around, being cheerfully scary and threatening. It also reminds me this classic picture of a cheerful Jack and a traumatized dead(?) Joseph.

It even has a sketch updated version you can check out here!

Credit as always goes to the awesome Sauce for their awesome art, characters, and stories. They and the rest of the crew of SnaccPop Studios are a wealth of endless inspiration. Consider joining their patreon, won't you? Just remember - don't repost anything privately posted there!

There's so many lyrics that make me think of Jack's broken mind and the effects of hell had on him. I have to really break it down to show all the different feelings/images that it conjures up, since there is so much here virtually every line.

"When did I become afraid of the dark?" When you were trapped in hell, Joseph. His loneliness was bad while he was alive, but his death made it so, so, so much worse. He's terrified of being alone and forgotten. He can't stand the cold numbness only broken up by pain. It's a night he can never sleep through or wake up from.

"The room I'm in is still the same, the shadows have not rearranged it. No, the only thing that's changed is how I see at night." It didn't get better. Nothing changed in that hell. It just repeated his death and the delusions of his decaying mind. The only thing that changed was himself into someone else, someone who could better handle the madness.

"I fumble for the switch and strap on infrareds and wish, For sunshine when the morning's somewhere else." Joseph struggles desperately somehow, someway to find some sort of light, some hope in hell. Unfortunately, his sunshine Mary is somewhere else, reborn as Alice. All he can do is wish for a miracle.

His sunshine was always like a miracle to him. She found him twice. He prays she'll find him again.

"But I can't change what time it is or dilate my irises, Only what I look at, and I'm looking at myself." Joseph can't change his circumstances. He can't feel anything but cold and pain, no matter how much he struggles. He's helpless.

The only thing Joseph can do is relive his death and look inward into an ever growing abyss that stares back at him. That abyss, that hell is changing him because he can't do anything but stare inward.

Joseph only has himself in this hell, and the longer he stares at himself, the more he hates what he sees.

"I am not the sunshine, I am not the moon at night." Joseph isn't as good as his sunshine was, in his opinion. He's not even as good as a fraction of her, like the sunlight is reflected on the moon. He doesn't even have a glimmer of her light either.

"I'm no one if I'm nowhere in between." In a way, he is nowhere, trapped between life and death. Joseph/Jack was erased. He became no one.

"When did I become afraid of the dark? Was it when I left the cave and swore I'd never go back?" Jack swore never to go back into the tape, never to be Joseph ever again. He's terrified of being alone, and he refuses to ever be alone and forgotten ever again.

"I've decided I'll abide it; why deny the color black?" Joseph gives into his darker impulses, his madness, his yandere side. He'll do anything to be free of this hell, to have his sunshine back.

Even if that means staining his soul irreparably with sin by torturing and killing others to do it.

He'll be damned to hell either way. He knows that from experience.

"Damn my eyes for seeing what's not there." When someone is put through sensory deprivation, they hallucinate, make up alternate personas, and the like. Jack himself was confused at first when the tape was played, asking if MC/Alice really was real, that he wasn't just dreaming.

How many times did Jack imagine someone was really there to save him, only to be disappointed by a cruel reality that he was still trapped in hell?

"I'll trade in vision for a practiced intuition. 'Til my fears come to fruition, I'm not scared." These lines sum up the whole Jack persona. He'll bury himself in that cheerful façade in order to deny his own fears that he'll be trapped in hell forever. He'll lose himself in a dream of his own making since he can never sleep again.

The only way to avoid being scared of an eternity in hell is denial, denial, denial.

"Well, who else could I be when I can hardly see?" He's Jack. He can't see himself as Joseph anymore. His mind can't handle it. He's blinded himself to his real identity by burying memories of anything else.

"The future must know where you've been." This feels like the video tape. The few traces left of what happened in the incident of 1984.

"The past predicts the state you're in." All the mistakes Joseph made and the few things that made him happy with himself are the reasons why he became Jack.

"The present did and will not last." Time is cruel, constantly marching forward and erasing the past. Jack lost everything so many times. He lost his identity, his dreams, his sunshine, and his life. Everything was lost so easily... how can he not dread losing it all again?

"All that I ask is, keep those empty frames." If nothing else, Jack is desperate to be remembered. Even if the person in the picture isn't himself anymore, he's desperate for at least some trace of him is remembered, even if it's this caricature of the character he played.

"If nobody's in them, then no one is to blame." A reference to LambsWork Productions covering up the part they played in Jack's death or the scandal the 1984 incident created. They can't have their reputation ruined if no one remembers the SunnyTime Crew Show after all.

"For your self-portraits, sign another name." This makes me think of all the autographs Joseph had to sign as "Sunny Day Jack." The character had his face, his voice... but it was a different name. He couldn't break character, because the character was what people loved. It's another reason why he's Jack now instead of Joseph.

"Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same?" Joseph Cullman is missing. [Redacted] Haberdae is dead and erased. He can't go back to being either. Who should he be? What name or persona should he use that will give him peace?

"Who else could I be, when I can't fucking see?" What is left for him but to be Sunny Day Jack? He has nothing else but that persona in this hell.

"I'm nowhere now, here's no one now to be." This line sums up Jack's state in the tape. He's nowhere, and he doesn't know how to be himself anymore. He is nothing... so he'll be the character he played.

He doesn't know how to be Joseph anymore because he can no longer see the good qualities he had as Joseph. Everything good was attributed to Jack in his mind, even his sunshine's love.

"I will be my sunshine, I will be my moon at night." He will be Sunny Day Jack. He will be his own hope, his sunshine. Losing himself to this alternate persona was the only thing he had to cling to in that cold and lonely hell. He clung to it like a piece of driftwood until the splinters dug into his hands and made him bleed madness.

"And if dreams can come true, what does that say about nightmares?" Now this shift makes me think of after Jack is freed and the lingering trauma from being in the tape. It's fitting because it comes after a drastic shift in the song to something somber, slowly building into something almost... hopeful?

His dream of being saved came true... but the nightmare of that hell still haunts him.

What if he goes back?

Jack could, just as easily, be sent away if Alice doesn't want him there. He needs to make sure that never happens.

Can Jack really dare to cling to this hope that he's been given, that this actually is reality?

Was he really saved, or is this just another delusion?

So even though Jack finally can sleep, he's finally safe... his fears still haunt him. He can't truly rest until he's sure, absolutely sure, that he won't lose his sunshine ever again. It's the hope he's desperate to hold onto.

"I'll stay awake tonight." The hell of the tape robbed Jack of his ability to sleep, both in the past and in the present. His trauma and mental scars run deep.

No doubt there were many nights where Jack just laid in bed and watched Alice sleep. He focused on her warmth, her steady breathing. Her heartbeat, her soft skin, her smell...

Alice is real. This sunshine is real. Jack knows that. He knows that deep down in his soul, but...

What if?

Just one minute longer. One second more to reassure himself.

This beautiful person Jack holds close in his arms is his salvation. Alice chose to save him. She promised to never forget him. She promised him forever.

Jack feared that the tape would be his forever.

So even though he's tired, Jack just needs a little bit more, just that extra moment more to drink in Alice with all of his senses so that he can truly believe that she delivered him from damnation.

Joseph is dead. The good parts of him, the light and hope he found in himself as that redacted identity are gone from even his memory. Jack is the only one there now.

Alice is the only sunshine Jack can see now, and he'll do whatever it takes to make sure he never loses that light, his hope, his love ever again.

Of course, during these moments of insecurity, Alice would stir, just a little, and cling to Jack tighter. Sometimes she even murmurs his name softly. She can feel that he needs her love through their connected souls.

The thoughts and feelings flow both ways. Sometimes Alice can pick up what Jack is thinking too, especially when his soul cries out to be seen, heard, felt, and loved.

Even though Jack didn't say a word, Alice heard his thoughts, his deepest need, and answered in a sleepy mumble, "Don't worry... I've got you. 'm not going anywhere..."

The soft words, slurred by a haze of sleep, sent a jolt through Jack, and all the love and gratitude he felt for her washed over him. Even in her dreams she would reach out to him, reassure him that she won't let him go. Even when in moments when his fear made their connection feel so tenuous, so fragile, all it took was a soft squeeze of her delicate hand always holding so gently onto his to quiet his fears.

Alice won't remember what she said in the morning, or anything else she mutters in a half-asleep haze, but she'll always remember Jack. She'll remember this man, no matter what name he uses, no matter what the fractured picture of his sanity looks like now. Their love is forever.

Even if Jack can't find the light in the man he used to be, even if the light of the good parts of Joseph are dead, buried, and forgotten in his mind... Jack can always believe in Alice, his sunshine. As long as he has her, he doesn't have to fear the dark or that he'll be banished back to hell.

Jack has the light of hope. It's in his sunshine Alice, and in the persona he wears. Most of all, it's in their love that lived on even after death.

Fortunately, over time, Alice will help him see that the light was always there even when he went any other name. With her help, he'll be able to finally find true peace and rest his weary soul in the gentle sunshine of their love. He'll finally be able to heal and truly shine in spite of the darkness.

Yeah, I know the song ends on a more somber note, but I'm all about happy endings and fluffy vanilla goodness. I couldn't help but add on a bit of a sweet reprise of sorts, even if not in so many lyrics. Sunshine in Hell is all about these wounded soulmates helping each other heal after all.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[meanbossart]

Misc. Ask compilation

These aren't all of the asks I want to reply to, just some that I can answer relatively quickly to clean the ol' inbox out before things get out of hand. Thanks for your patience!

HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR PERUSING AROUND and for enjoying my work! I had a... Weird Gale experience my first playthrough which led to his characterization being what it is in my comics. Here's the beat-by-beat of all the shenanigans: https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740827466716807168/alright-i-am-like-90-sure-there-is-one-line-in-a

And here's just some of my personal thoughts on him! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/736193145686114305/can-you-tell-me-more-about-how-you-would-make-gale

I would be lying if I said I'm not conflicted to know my style still bears some remnants of my edgy teen roots (not your fault not noticing it though, you aren't the first and won't be the last) BUT... That comic did mean a lot to me as a youth, so I guess I should be proud 🤷 and honestly it is a little cool that such a thing would survive for so long in what I do, crazy how that works.

LMAO, re: the bottom/top debacle, I was honestly so surprised to see people react to it like it's something novel. If I ever expected to get any push back on the matter, I thought it would be from people assuming DU drow was the top and taking issue with how violent and big he is (and yknow, some people are weirdly protective of Astarion as if he isn't a sneaky murder machine rippling with lean muscle)

Very disheartening to see that mindset still so alive and well among young people, but I guess it just means I gotta draw DU drow throwing more back and Astarion drooling over more ass until the stereotype is forcefully banished out of people's minds!

(more asks below the cut)

"Sleeper agent activation phrase" absolutely took me out, Thank you so much LOL

YEAH I got it pretty late though, Astarion had already told my durge that he was a vampire of his own accord (and the response was, of course, "no duh") I forgot wheter this happened before or after the first romance scene triggered, but I think after.

Since this was after DU drow decided he was gonna fuck him out of pure contrarian spite and was shamelessly laying it extremely thick, He happilly let Astarion drink his blood. Hell, he was probably a little Too Eager - the guy likes pain and he likes letting people he trusts do with his body whatever they will, and while he didn't yet trust Astarion at that point, that event might've very well reminded him of something from his past that planted a seed which would eventually grow into his genuine affection for the guy.

Ah, he definitely got a half-chub as it happened too. I'm sure Astarion noticed it and just walked off rolling his eyes and thinking "eugh of course" lmao.

Hello!!!

Oh man, I grew up fascinated with horror things. I remember from a very young age just looking at the covers and backs of horror movies at the film-rental even though I wasn't allowed to watch them. I was also easily scared but I sought those things out anyway - I think i just enjoyed the visceral reactions it drew out of me and was always curious about most things taboo.

When I got access to the internet that just opened a (very unfortunate) door to all things vile and awful like it did for so many people at that age in time. Though my tastes have changed a lot since then (Less August Underground, more The Devils kind of guy nowadays) my stories and art are just always going to fall into a horror-y category because I just... Don't think there's many better ways to showcase the human experience and emotional range without many of the elements native to the genre, and I'm all about that.

Thank you for your question and your sweet words, have a good week yourself!

I did a little write-up about that over here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/742508493562593280/i-dont-have-a-particular-question-in-mind-sorry

That's the result of a scene that happens relatively early in the story I'm writing ("A Novel Experience" on Ao3).

{SPOILERS} DU drow accidentally passes out on a blade which puts a relatively deep gash on his hip. Meanwhile, Astarion is weakened and starved after certain events that transpired the prior night. They have a private exchange both in a somewhat hazy-state of mind and Astarion ends up prodding and prying at his wound while feeding, so it's a laceration and bite mark that just scarred over badly.

Elves apparently don't grow body hair so never LOL guess they'll just have to slip&slide up on each other for heat

[tsel-bas]

Uhhhh

So, Sorry For Disappearing For Over A Month 😭

We Had Been Sent Into The Eternal Blender And Have Just Finished Mixing.

The Blender Has Taken Everything It Feels Like And Our Mental Health Isn't Doing So Hot At The Moment.

(Not A Vent But We Tread Into Some Sensitive Topics To Describe What's Going On)

TW / CW: Family Issues, Mention Of Homelessness, Dissociation, Amnesia, Self-Fakeclaiming (That Could Be Similar To Reality Checking?), Potential System Collapse / Reset (?)

We've Been Having Some Family Issues In The Outside World And Might Get Kicked Out Of Our Dad's House Soon... So Uh Yeah. That's Fun I Guess. Especially Since We'd Be Homeless If Our Mother Sides With Him.

Dissociation And Memory Loss Has Been Through The Roof And Depression + Executive Dysfunction / Lack Of Motivation Has Been Kicking Our Ass.

We Have Also Been Having A Bit Of System Trouble. I, The Host, Have Been Feeling Lonely As Of Late. I Cannot Hear, Feel, Or Sense Anyone Anymore. It's Hard To Tell If They're All Still Here, If They Really Ever Were. The Soup Has Taken Hold Of Me So That Sometimes I Forget Even Myself. I Am Scared. I Am Devastated. And Most Of All, Lost.

I Miss Them Dearly, And I Hope They Come Back. But If They Don't I Can Build Up From The Remnants Of The Glorious Realm They Left Behind And Move Onwards.

But Enough About Me, This Blog Is Not Meant For My Woes. Just Know, That Even Though Tommy Is The Face Of This Blog. He Might Not Ever Come Back. It Will Be Me (Starry / Z) For A While Even Though I Will Use We/Us Pronouns Often.

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We Don't Find Much Joy In Things Anymore But We Still Want To Help Others Out With This Blog. So Things Will Be Changing A Bit.

If We Finish A Request It Will Be Sent Into The Queue To Be Posted Later Instead Of Being Posted Immediately Like We Used To Do. So Your Requests Will Take Longer To Be Sent Out Than Usual (Which We Know Is Already Forever).

This Is Being Implemented To Hopefully Try And Relieve Some Of The Stress That Comes From The Feeling That We're "Taking Too Long" To Do Our Requests. If This Eases The Stress, Our Packs Should Be Of Higher Quality And We Won't Feel Like We Rushed Them. We Take Pride In Our Work And Want To Give You Guys Our Best Every Time You Request A Pack.

We Also Plan To Do Premade Packs Based Off Of Things We've Collected In A Specific Pinterest Board Of Ours. We Want Those To Be Of Top Quality Too!

We Probably Will Not Provide Any Of Our Own Art To Our Packs Anymore Due To The Amount Of Time And Effort That Is Put Into The Art. If We Cannot Create A Faceclaim For The Packs That Need One Through Picrews And Other Similar Sites, We Will Provide An Appearance Section Without You Having To Request It. That Is So You Can Make Accurate Art Of Them Yourself If You Wish.

We Don't Want To Make People Pay Us For Our Art To Be Featured In Their Request. We Don't Think A Service Like Ours Should Be Locked Behind A Paywall, No Matter Which Part Of It Is. This Blog Is Not Like A Free Game With Paid DLC.

The Requests We Have In Our Drafts Currently WILL Be Finished And Sent Into The Queue As Soon As We Get To Them. We Are On The Last Bits Of One Request We've Just Been Procrastinating So Long To Finish It Due To Everything Going On.

Thank You To All Of Our Followers And Those Who've Requested Packs! You Mean The World To Us And We're Glad We've Been Able To Help Some Of You Through This On/Off Hobby We've Got Going On. We Value Your Patience And Willingness To Put Up With Us Despite Slacking Off So Much.

Have A Good Timezone Everybeing :)

[sockssketchingshack]

So uh. I never really did an intro soooo

I see a lot of people asking about commissions and I am here to tell you that I don't do them! They stress me out! Sorry but they're Scary. But I do drawing *requests*. Because I like drawing things without any form of pressure to draw them!

Now that's out of the way, hello there! My name is Socrates. But everyone calls me socks.

I am an adult! 18 years old, April 23 2006.

My pronouns are he/him!

I am both a trans man and bisexual!

Things you should know:

I have low to severe functioning autism. Meaning I need help from those outside of my own self. Basically help with my day to day life and for scary situations such as talking to strangers IRL. Or complex decisions such as bank details or that kinda thing. I need others to help me!

That doesn't mean I'm not smart though. I'm mostly slow. I call it rebooting. So if I ever take a while to respond it's probably because I'm thinking about what to say!

I have bipolar disorder. I deal mostly with mood swings one minute ranting about how cute my cat is the next minute crying over how cute my cat is.

I deal with a lot of doctors! Two or more appointments a week! So if I tell you multiple times over a short span of time I can't talk cause I'm going to the doctor's it's not an overused excuse! It's true!

I have severe anxiety. Meaning any communication at all stresses me out. But I still really wanna try to socialize!

I have memory issues.

So if you wanna talk I'm welcome to it. I'm just really, really, shy. And sometimes I'll panic and end conversations out of nowhere. So if you ever wanna talk all I ask is to be understanding and a lil patient.

And if you talk to me long enough I'll grow to trust you! Which means I'll feel more comfortable and calm when talking to you!

About my art:

I love art! But it's hard to do since I have some physical problems. But I do it anyway! I mainly draw things I like or request / challenges I receive. I like to draw my little persona alot because he's simple and easy to draw. I also have a lot of OC's! Ask me about them! I love them all and will be over the moon to share their stories outside of just the art I make of them!

About my text posts:

Text posts are semi common. It's mostly little ramblings or rants. Or just how I'm feeling. But again I mostly posts art.

If I ever interact with you or your posts:

It means I wanna talk to you but don't know how so I just try to show affection with hearts and sometimes if I'm brave enough a comment or reply. But I still really wanna learn to socialize with you!

Hobbies:

Art, cooking, baking, gardening, sewing, video games.

Lastly:

Ask me stuff! Talk to me if ya want! I am lonely. And I love you! And I'm proud of you! Take care of yourself! You deserve it! Bye! Love you!

Things I like (extra bit):

Get ready it's a long lists,

anime!

Any anime really even if I haven't seen it! I have watched a bit of or completed, Naruto, one piece, jujutsu keisen, Ouran host club, black clover, sword art online, attack on Titan, Yuri on ice, one punch man, my hero academia, assassination classroom, food wars, pokemon, the promised Neverland. And a bit more I'm probably forgetting.

Video games!

Any video game really! Even if I haven't played it! But I have played or watched others play: stardew valley, undertale, Minecraft, Roblox, terraria, cult of the lamb, overwatch 2, dead by daylight, Skyrim, halo, rocket League, cod black ops 2 zombies, moonlighter, hollow night, sky children of the light, don't starve together, subnautica, subnautica below zero, alot of different Pokemon games, five nights at Freddy's, astroneer, monster hunters, and one of my absolute all time favorites SLIME RANCHER!

other medias / things, TV shows, books, etc:

Percy Jackson, a bit of harry potter, marvel universe, DC universe, amazing digital circus, don't hug me I'm scared, Steven universe, avatar the last Airbender, we bear bears, and more I'm probably forgetting.

That's all bye.

[cuppykin]

So my post before I left was vague, let me tell you guys what's up in more detail

This will be very long, and not very pleasant to read, so if you want some news related to how I'm going to post, it'll be here: I probably won't go back to regular posting for a long time and instead just post art/writing here that I think you guys would like to see, but for more details, read below

If you still want to reach me off social media, my Discord username is still Cuppykin. You're free to show me cool stuff you find on the internet in my DMs

I am currently seeking therapy at the moment, and the reason why I can't stay on social media much anymore is because I was at a breaking point, and with the elections coming around in the US, i have a lotta fears

Avoiding my fears by not looking at the internet is impossible, but I'm afraid of a lot of things. And seeing my fear shared by many I thought would be comforting, but instead its stopped me from enjoying anything I do in my day to day without thoughts of something bad happening to me because of the things I love. I'm a queer black artist who draws and writes nsfw content and has verbalized my distaste for the state of the US and the politicians who run it, so you can imagine why I'm scared the way I am

But even then, lately every time I look at social media I just scroll until I see something that upsets me, and then I continue and repeat. And that's extended into other stuff. Looking at things until I see something that upsets me, but it seems I reached a breaking point because when i DO see something thats a sensitive topic for me, I start to break down and cant function. Even as I type this I'm still having bad thoughts, most about things that COULD happen in the future but aren't here now and whether or not I should just end my life before things get too bad.

I've been extremely unhappy. At my worst, I couldn't do anything at all and would just. Sit, and think about dying or something to avoid any current or future problems. It's been so so hard, and I don't know when it's going to get better. I wanna be able to do the things I love again without fear and paranoia stopping me, but it's hard.

But the good news is I'm trying. I don't want to be like this for long, and that starts by actually taking steps to improve.

I'm so sorry that this came out of nowhere. I thought I could handle it, but at this current moment I'm at an all time low and I'm trying desperately to find hope in my life for a bright future. Not just for myself, but for most people on this rock we call Earth. I just want to be happy and healthy, and have the people i love AND the people I hate also be happy and healthy. I'm just very tired, and can only hope for better times

[alicenpai]

taking a break from merch!

been feeling incredibly burnt out, so here are some thoughts on merch and events and shop stuff this year 🤔 LONGGG ass ramblings below

im going to be posting maybe like 1 or 2 merch posts daily for the next week-ish, just as a heads up!

i apologize in advance bc i feel like sometimes people just do not care about merch posts as opposed to regular ol' drawings (yes i know the psychology is that people dont like to be advertised to)... but i think the launch of my shop opening was pretty poorly timed 😬

the canada post strike (making canadians averse to purchases online, although i do not use canada post, i think a lot of people are under the assumption that most businesses use canpost) + combined with the EU product safety scare + maybe with tons of black friday competition + posting on the weekend has mixed results ..

i'm reconsidering the decision to reopen the store in dec, as i won't have any new items. additionally, this has been long overdue - i'm going to take a break from merch (besides the few events i already have coming up in dec+jan) to focus on what i really want from art. another thing that i gotta bring up is - this is the first year where i started doing more events past the summer, and well into the winter. i usually make a huge batch of new designs in late spring (for my biggest event, anime north), and a smaller batch in late summer (otakuthon). but, now i've been making new designs year round, which really is not something i'm used to, and contributed to the burnout. i've often been questioning myself, "does this need to be made?", "is this good art?" and it leads me to spiral more than necessary.

similarly, i should be working on my portfolio instead, as a lot of my portfolio works are from art school T__T i keep postponing it, i tell myself "oh just one more event, just one more event" bc i have trouble dividing my attention. how did i even do personal art + buttload of homework during animation school? HAHAHA. not to be harsh but like. what am i doing honestly 😭... i love making personal art, but i WISH i had MORE to show for my career. i want to go back into visual development. once im ready, i'll go back to drawing illustrations. in the meantime, i'll do a lot of reflection and chatting with friends, playing games, etc. getting in touch with the things i missed while i was busy crunching... --- also compiling a list of products that i have thoughts on - charms: - right off the bat, as i mentioned before, i think i've exhausted all i can from this lineless/borderless charm style! chibis for me are not artistically that interesting to draw hahaha... i don't think i'll make any more of charms in this style (unless i get a really good idea?). - i've been thinking of either stopping charms altogether, or lessening charm designs in the future. if i still... want to make charms after my break... i might opt to draw in a bust style instead. i'm really inspired by these one piece designs by my friend avenoirn..!! and these rdr wood charms by searift are so good!! but otherwise my current plan is to just focus on prints and stickers. they are infinitely easier to store too AHAHAHA.

- above: furthermore, this style does not suit all series unfortunately, examples above where i think the design is a bit weak... and i think that's where my weakness lies T__T i make things to satiate my curiosity for a short while HAHAHA but there are so many times where i'm just not proud of, or i feel indifferent, to the merch i make months down the road. - unfortunately charms are a huge seller at conventions, because of their small nature and cute quality i guess they make good gifts? i find that for me my charms didn't sell well in the past, until i switched over to this new style in 2023. i think along the way i started prioritizing charms more, and just making things that didn't work in the style like above. in reality, my heart wanted to make illustrative stuff like prints and sticker sheets, even though these products take infinitely longer to create, due to the amount of drafting and research i put into each piece. (funnily enough charms dont sell as well online + people buy stickers more) - it's getting infinitely more and more expensive to import charms from asia. first of all, shipping costs have increased, and secondly... government customs fees are truly the icing on top. it's been hard for small businesses since covid, and how heavily chinese packages have been taxed. - to be transparent, here are my suppliers: - i used vograce from 2015-2022, but over time felt that their quality declined so i stopped using them. - i use juno consistently, but also opt for kuien if i need a rush order done (~within a week, but also gotta pay premium for that rush service!!). - i have tried wooacry and can attest that their quality is good! to me it's not much different than juno's quality, besides small colour nuance and there (since wooacry's printers have the ability to print from RGB), however my designs tend to be on the simpler side.

- above, wooacry: although, it's hard to keep sizes consistent between designs (but i am a fool in this regard because i didn't check the digital mockup that precisely), so i probably won't use wooacry for huge character lineups unless i am 100% sure my charm designs are all the same size. - also geez... i didn't know people felt so hostile towards charms. (the entire disk horse on twitter if you've seen it. the original poster made a 2nd post that clarified their intent, which was, honestly?? incredibly well thought and nuanced. but the first post opened a whole can of worms, that didn't need to be that explosive from the get go, exposing myself and many other artists who make charms to other people's aggressive viewpoints). - at the same time, i understand that the scope of "anime fan merch" is very much "lowbrow art", but to act superior because one doesn't make acrylic products is a bit discouraging to say the least. i have already wanted to stop or slow down on charm designs for a long time, but this is the final blow for me. like damn. okay. ---

stickers: - importing stickers from US suppliers into canada has also similarly become more expensive with taxes TT to be transparent, i use stickerbunnies and i personally love them, however with taxes and slow response times, i cannot vouch for them all too much if you don't live in the US. however i think they would be okay if you didn't have a deadline (e.g. off peak con season) - currently i'm looking into local canadian manufacturers with affordable pricing, as well as the ability to commit to rather large orders (a few hundred)... unfortunately i'm rather picky with vinyl quality. my biggest character flaw. i used jukebox for a few designs, however they are pricey if there is no current sale. --- specialty: - also this is something ive been thinking for a while, but i'm likely going to discontinue "specialty" merch in the future..

- above: anything that's not prints, stickers, regular charms... - it's ironic bc as artists grow bigger they want to branch out into new unique types of merch.. i just don't find that they sell that well for me >< i'm a bit sad at the marcille pudding, i honestly thought it would sell better. still fawkin love it though. - they cost an arm and leg to boot = higher price = harder to sell? or maybe my design sense is just bad!!!!! - the only specialty stuff i have ideas for right now are some baccano coins + poker chips... wooacry posed a potential interest for them so im. rubbing my hands greedily like a fly. -- wood: - whoa i was really negative above LMAO. one thing i DO want to try out more are layered wood pins!!

- i really enjoyed working on the wooden layton pins i have... they don't sell that well online anymore i guess bc all of my followers have seen it a million times already LMAO but they sell quite well in person!! - thankfully wood is not that pricey and i can stick to small batches for them (like 10 quantity each?) - inspiration: i LOVE these wooden dunmeshi pins seirui made. i cant wait for mine to arrive...!! also love the backing pins, they add so much character!! general - oftentimes when i make a set of products, i find that main characters sell better than supporting characters. after a while of promoting them as last chance items online + bargain bin items at cons, they just don't sell and i'm left with a ton of unwanted merch T__T what do i do with the rest of the characters that don't sell? i do have to admit i'm concerned about waste, and there are no good resources on recycling old merch. - what i did in the past was - for buttons specifically - tear them apart AHAHAHAHA. buttons are made out of metal + paper + plastic and the former two can be recycled in my area. i'm not sure if it helps but i tried to do it as per my area's recycling rules... - acrylic charms are another matter altogether. i try to gift them as much as i can... - prints are great however because i can just use them as scrap paper or recycle them if unwanted!! - i got a little carried away making merch this year. i think i'll have to go back to my old method, which was making merch in small quantities, and only sell a small number that i can confidently rely on (~10 or less).

[callibones]

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!

hello to the beautiful people of the internet. my name is Callie Callibones! i make Post's about blaseball and Being a robot and Being a computer (different) and Wario and Blaseball and mutuals do this to me. sometimes these posts can b "Suggestive," so watch out for that! but they're usually not and i have like two other blogs for when they Really are.

i stream at twitch.tv/callibones! sporadically.

i also do post selfie's sometime's. like (almost) every tuesday! this is because i am Extremely transgender and it is fun for me when people like my selfies. BUT! i am utterly impossible to fluster don't check. Don't check

i make Art some times. a lot of it is at @callibones-art! one of my biggest Art was constitution, an object character i made for the beautiful Camp GNC. its whole doc is available here, and i loooove answering questions about it and my other Handful of Transgender OCs! i don't know if i have any cis ones. except dr clock

i love polls so much that i put one right here in my pinned post.

oh speaking of! i'm running a mutuals do this to me tournament. the url is @mutualsdothistome and it's a tournament of terrible horrible no-good very bad fates that also should definitely happen to you if mutuals are doing them. you can submit entries to it here!

blease feel free to pull up an anon ask and say howdy if youre scared of me. i LOVE the haters.

my tags are:

#callie.txt.exe - my original posts, like this one! #callie.png.vbs - my selfies. if u browse this tag u HAVE to call me pretty. whether u believe it or not. or else theyll dry up and nobody will be able to see me anymore #mutuals tournament - stuff related 2 the mutuals tournament #anon.zip.pif - asks i receive that people send to try to make me blush. because people do that some times. u still cant fluster me though its impossible still dont check #polls - u will never guess what this one is for. #fav - the best posts #fav fav fav - the bestestest posts #all time fav - the all time best posts #final fav - the best post, singular #gender - the gender posts #gender gender gender - the genderenderender posts #genders of all time - the all time gender posts #final gender - the gender post

[fandomwe1rd0]

The Rick and Morty anime is insufferable

Now, just to be clear, I am NOT making fun of anyone who likes the anime! If you like it, that's great! I'm glad that you are able to like it, everyone has different tastes, and I won't hate on you for liking something that doesn't hurt anyone…butttttt that being said, I am going to be VERY harsh towards the anime, so if you like the anime, this probablyyyy isn't the post for you, now if you want to kindly and respectfully disagree with me, then that's completely fine! Now, for everyone that wants to see me hating on this anime, all of my problems and reasons for disliking it under the cut!

Okkkk first off, I am going to say the things I actually like about it!

I like the art style! It feels weird seeing Morty with a neck lol. I like how they kept his big ass head though. The proportions are a little weird, but I feel like it adds to the charm of it in a way

Guys…I FUCKING LOVE THE THEME SONG OH MY GODDDD! I'm ashamed to admit I like it more than the show's theme song. It's just so fucking good and it always gets me hyped even if I know the episode will be bad!

I really like the fluidity of the Tammy and Space Beth fight scene! Like it was fucking awesome! The way it was animated is really good, it made the 2nd episode my favorite actually even if the 2nd episode is still…still not good.

On that note, I feel like they improved Space Beth's character, I mean I didn't really like her in the show, she kinda just felt like Beth (Ik the point she's mean to be like Beth but shush) with no noticable differences besides being ruder. Her getting with domestic Beth is also weird af so I'm glad they ignored that plotline.

And uhm…uhm…I uh…baby Morty was cute andddddd uh…..well….uh….okay onto the cons!

There's like no humor, and even the like, 2 jokes in the first episode weren't funny (The joke about the galactic federation using sex toys as torture toys for clone Rick came off as more uncomfortable than funny to me) and the joke (I think it was a joke?) about Morty clutching his vr helment and crying about how he'll never find love again in the 2nd episode just made me mad, they turned Morty into some pathetic crying helpless baby, but more on that later. Like ik it's meant to be different from the show, but if you're gonna to make an anime verison of a comedy show…it should be funny..even the jokes they do make just…aren't funny.

Too much fan service, ok, ok, ok, before anyone says anything YES I do know that the original show is no stranger to fan service, like in season 6, yes, they did show Rick in a suit, and yes, they did show Rick with 6 packs, but in the show's defense, if you're a show with 71 episodes so far, it's completely fair to have some fan service, but in 4 episodes, their seems to be too much, I mean they show Rick naked twice in the span of 4 episodes, and Morty constantly calling Rick Grandpa (Even with a Rick that didn't want to be called Grandpa) feels a lot like fan service.

Rick and Morty not interacting, this is a big one for me, Rick and Morty are the heart of the show, their dynamic is a huge part of what makes the show great, I mean the show is literally called RICK AND MORTY but they don't interact at all, they did interact in season 4, but it's literally just a few sentences and that's it. I was hoping they would get their own episode but nope! It should be called Morty and Elle because so far they are the only ones that interact a lot. And hohohoh…don't worry….I was absolutely talk about Elle…now again, with the show, Rick and Morty don't interact every episode, and they don't have to, obviously, but if it's a Rick and Morty show, you should set up their dynamic as soon as possible. Even when you see a little bit of their dynamic, it's really bad…literally the best thing about their dynamic is that Rick loves Morty but is scared to show it, but literally in the first minute where they ACTUALLY interact Rick says "Worst case scenario, I just need a strand of your hair to make a clone" ??? WHAT!? I hate that line soooo much. Rick couldn't handle it if Morty died, but here he doesn't care when Morty's life is in danger??? DID THEY EVEN WATCH THE SHOW?? Did they watch a Rickle In Time??? Where Rick literally SACRIFICED HIMSELF FOR MORTY!? Ughhhh I fucking hate that lineeee.

The tone is off. It lacks the energy the original show has, whether you like or dislike the show, you can't deny that it has an unmistakable energy put into it, even with the worst episode, cough RICKDEPEDENCE SPRAY cough there's still a certain energy to it. Like for example, the energy in Rickfending Your Mort always cheers me up when I'm having a day, hyped me up or makes me happier on a good day, but the anime feels so soulless. It lacks the energy. It just feels so tired if that even makes sense. Maybe it the colors or the voices or something, but it lacks the soul and energy that the original show has, like with the show, you can tell that love was put into it, but with the anime, it feels so bland.

It doesn't have to be a Rick and Morty property, now, if this was just some random sci-fi anime, I probably wouldn't care about it, hell, I probably wouldn't even watch it, and that's the point, I feel like the director knew nobody would watch this if it was a random sci-fi anime, but an easy way to get viewers is to use an already popular sci-fi property, that's where Rick and Morty comes in, it doesn't have anything specific that makes it HAVE to be Rick and Morty, like I know the galactic federation is there, and the infinite universe thing, but other than that, there's not a lot of specifically Rick and Morty things it does, I mean nobody's in character, Rick and Morty's dynamic isn't correct, there's no side characters from the original show, hell, I don't think Rick even makes a portal, I don't think we ever saw his portal gun, it could've just been a normal sci-fi anime, it would've still been bad, but it wouldn't be shitting on a show that means so much to me that I love, it doesn't feel like they wanted to make it out of love for the original show, it feels like they wanted to make a sci-fi anime, and wanted a quick way to gain viewers.

The relationships are built very unnaturally, 3 words, show don't tell, that's the main rule in storytelling, I'm just gonna be honest, the relationships in the anime are the prime example of tell don't show, again sorry for comparing it to the show so much, but I just want to show where it fails where the show succeeds, even if I wasn't comparing it to the show, these are still issues if the show wasn't connected to Rick and Morty, it's not bad just in the context of it being a Rick and Morty show, it's bad in general, good? Good. Ok let's move on, in the show, Rick and Morty's dynamic and them caring about each other is built in a very human and natural way, but in the anime, none of the characters have any chemistry, and, an example being Morty and Elle (Fuck you Elle) they tell us Morty feels comfortable and safe Elle, it tells us that Morty and Elle love each other, but it doesn't show it through their interactions, they feel more like friends when they aren't kissing or anything, Elle also kissed Morty without his consent so fuck you Elle!

It doesn't feel like they watched the show. Along with nobody being in character, besides like, maybe Jerry, it doesn't do anything that makes you feel like they watched the show, it's hard to explain, but for example like with Rick and Morty animatics, you can tell they watched the show, but the anime just doesn't have the feel, humor, characters, or really anything to make you feel like they watched and understood the show. Again, I know it's the anime, it's not going to be exactly the same, but it wouldn't hurt for them to make it clear that they watched the show.

The character assassination. Whew this part is gonna be long, buckle in, I'm only going to talk about Rick and Morty, Elle will have her own section (I hate her so fucking much you have no idea)

Rick and Morty are the worst character assassination in the anime. Not all of the characters were assassinated, but they massacred my boys and I will not stand for that.

Rick isn't likable. I'll just say it right here. Rick is amazingly likable in the show and is actually my favorite character. But in the anime, he's just unlikable. Not only does he casually state that he'll just make a clone of his grandson if he dies, but he's an asshole, not in a lovable way, he's so boring, he lacks the chaotic energy that makes Rick entertaining. The thing is, I think he's actually a nihilist which uhm..isn't interesting to watch. He isn't funny, interesting, complex, he doesn't get called out, he doesn't have character development, he's not pathetic, he's no charismatic, he doesn't seem to have a heart, literally everything I like about the original character is gone. They absolutely massacred him.

Morty…oh nooooo! LOOK AT HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY! They literally just make him into a pathetic shivering fragile sensitive baby and that's not who he is. It's pathetic. They also make him into a helpless baby who always need someone to hold their hand, mainly Elle, and that's just not who he is. Sure he needs help at times, and of course he cries sometimes, but he isn't just a helpless crying baby who always needs people to do things for him, they try so hard to make him a cute kid, they call him "Grandpa" so many times, even when long-haired Rick didn't want to call him Grandpa, it's just so unnatural.

I FUCKING HATE ELLE OHHH MY GOOOODDD! She makes the animes feel like a self-insert fanfic. Everyone loves her, everyone trusts her, she's strong, pretty, smart, like COME THE FUCK ON! She is a weird mix between a self-insert and mary-sue. There's nothing wrong with her, she's pretty, people love her, she gives the characters the advice they need, she saved Rick and Morty's lives, she's very important to the story, she's the worst of all worlds, she sucks, I HATE HER! She's so annoying, she's actually infuriating. She turns the show into a self-insert fanfic. Actually ALL of the characters feel like they are from a bad fanfic, but I believe that's totally Elle's fault. FUCK ELLE!

Now, I know I'm really harsh towards the anime, but that's because I love Rick and Morty and I want the anime to be great, and I believe it can be great, and I really hope it improves before the seasons ends!