#also I like how anya didn't want to leave him

[soopertiddies]

Curly was wrong for not doing more for Anya, yes.

But at the same time wtf was he supposed to do with Jimmy? Jimmy was unhinged, Curly knew that. The only place he could lock him up is the med bay where Anya worked? What was to stop Jimmy from hurting Anya even more, because he definitely would if he knew he'd been caught

Yeah, Curly was wrong but holy shit what a difficult position to be in, and Anya definitely understood that. She was constantly at his side after the wreck, except for when she knew he would be in pain.

[linkcharacter]

Oh I have so many thoughts on aroace Curly, I think it brings so much on the table when analyzing the game's story.

Amanormativity ties in with the reoccurring mentions of the nuclear family, from Wrong Organ making 1950s mock advert posters, to Swansea talking about how getting a wife and kids didn't bring him any fulfillment in life.

In the cake cutting nightmare sequence, where Jimmy talks with Dream Curly about the mediocre cake, Dream Curly begins to talk about how sometimes you can only get the subpar stuff in live. Sometimes he'll get promoted, buy a house, fall in love. But other times he'll just have some awful fucking cake with his friend.

I think there is that subtle implication that Jimmy does buy into Amanormativity, with him projecting his beliefs on Dream Curly that a platonic relationship is lesser then a romantic one. But we never see Curly suggesting that he wants such a thing in the pre-crash.

With Jimmy thinking that Curly has everything in life, except for the desire (although I think Jimmy would view it as Curly not having the skills for it) to get a romantic partner, he would heavily lean into getting the one thing that Curly couldn't get in life to one up him.

THATS EXACTLY WHAT IM THINKING!!! AMATONORMATIVITY BE DAMNED!!!!

Looking at Mouthwashing through an aroace lens is interesting

"Jimmy thinking that Curly has everything in life, except for the desire", well said, well said! And references to the nuclear family fit in very cleanly thematically for Mouthwashing.

Jimmy leaning into amatonormativity is a smart observation. Jim internalizes all the social norms and standards on what you have to do to have a normal and desirable life, who sees everything Curly has and what Jimmy wishes he had, and is offended that Curly isn't satisfied, that he has the "audacity" to be unhappy. Curly meanwhile only wishes for his life to be something he doesn't have to run from, because by all means, he has already reached a point where he should feel accomplished, but isn't. Curly doesn't want to be a freighter captain his whole life, he doesn't want to settle with his sustainable position, he just wants to be happy. Like Swansea who has reached the "ideal" outcome of his life, having a wife, kids and a good career, it will never feel as good as embracing all what society deems undesirable yet right for you.

Jimmy does imply to seeing himself as lesser as a friend, "fall in love" being a goal and a "cake with a friend" being something he "has to settle for", it's all in the subtleties with underlying themes of "what you're "supposed to want" by society's expectations" against "what feels right for you". Jimmy is frustrated that Curly is going to "leave the dirt behind him", when in actuality, letting the crew and him go is the last thing Curly wants. Curly wants to be with his friends, he deeply cares about his crew, and about his close friend.

Mouthwashing as a whole reads to me as platonic through and through. Swansea and Daisuke having such a meaningful familial bond, Curly and Anya being sweet, playful and caring without romance, Anya and Daisuke having something of a siblings dynamic are dear to me. Also it's really rare to get to see representations of "toxic friendship" in media. Its always toxic romance this, toxic yaoi that, toxic family there, however in reality, friendships aren't excluded from being as rotten and abusive as the others, yet they're often overlooked. Jim and Curly are especially unique in this way. It's very impressive how they managed to showcase Jimmy's mistreatment of Curly in such a platonic way (at least that how I read it). Jim too, like Curly, in general avoids hints at romance and attraction explicitly related to him during his gameplay, not with Curly, nor with Anya (dear god thanks for that at least). It's all spite, annoyance and parasitizing off of these two. (That man's dry and lowkey hates everyone and everything) No attraction attached, no desires except hoping it hurts.

Curly to me is very much aroace, or at least on the spectrum. Like, the trivia fact that one of Curly's fondest memories is that of his friends putting in effort to make a shitty awful cake, tells us all we need to know on how dear his friends are to him. Platonic relationships mean so much to Curly, even when it's Jimmy fucking Mouthwashing, the worst friend ever imaginable.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Part 4 - Part 5

You heard footsteps approaching, which made you wake up immediately, but when you felt hands on your shoulders, that's when you opened your eyes.

When you saw Jimmy sitting on your bed with his hands on your shoulders, you were surprised, although he also looked surprised to see you awake.

Jimmy: "Captain... I need to tell you something."

"...Is it so important that you had to wake me up in the middle of the nigth?..."

You sat down and turned on the light to see his face clearly, you didn't feel comfortable at all in this situation.

Jimmy: "I was thinking if we open the cargo, maybe we can find something useful there or gain access to some part of the ship that could help us-"

"Couldn't that really wait until morning? Did you have to come into my room?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out, he just took your hands and bowed his head, avoiding your gaze.

Jimmy: "I want to be helpful..."

You pulled your hands away from his and patted his head a couple of times.

"Alright, but let's wait until tomorrow, go get some rest, it's not good for you to be awake at this hours."

He nodded with his head still down and got up to leave your room, but you stopped him at the door.

"How... Is Curly doing?"

Jimmy: "Haven't you asked Anya?"

"She always tells me the same thing... I need to know his condition, I don't want to cling to false hope."

Jimmy: "Of course, she's going to tell you it's fine... Do you want the truth?"

You nodded at his question, preparing for the worst.

Jimmy: "I don't think he can hold on much longer, he's agonizing in the state he's in, his body is useless, he can't move, he can't speak, he can't even open his mouth on his own and can barely swallow. It's a dying dog waiting to be euthanized."

You covered your mouth upon hearing that, the harsh reality your husband was suffering.

You jumped out of bed and grabbed him by his uniform.

"You know the code, you can go see him. Take me there now!"

Jimmy: "I can't, the captain hasn't authorized it yet."

"He can't speak! Can't move! With that logic, I'll never be able to see him! It's an order!"

The man looked at you in silence and with seriousness, soon you let go of his uniform and ran your hands through your hair.

Jimmy: "Just imagine that he's already dead, maybe that way you can work with a cool head, captain."

Those were his last words before leaving your room.

You looked at your empty bed for a few seconds before sitting on it.

"He... is dead... like the cat of Schrödinger..."

You sighed and turned off the lights, trying to go back to sleep, too tired to keep thinking or to notice the unbuttoned buttons on your shirt.

Swansea: "No way, they told us to stay away from the cargo, it's completely forbidden."

"Do those rules really matter right now? Maybe we'll find something there."

Anya: "Maybe there are meds... We are running low..."

Daisuke: "It's not going to kill us to take a look!"

"Here we go"

You sighed as you headed to the cargo hold, the entire crew following you. You entered the code to open the door, and it slowly opened, revealing its contents.

You ventured into it, ignoring the boxes scattered around, more interested in finding something useful to bring you back to Earth while the others checked the cargo.

A light caught your attention, and you could see that there was a screen showing the ship's trajectory; there was a warning alert because they were moving away from the delivery zone. 

You looked closely and tried to figure out where they were going, your face lit up for a moment when you realized they were heading to one of the Pony Express stations.

You did the calculations to figure out how much they would reach.

That place was like a service station, where they could stop if they had any issues with the crew or the ship, but normally it was much faster to make the delivery than to go to one of these, which were too far from the delivery points.

"Maybe the asteroid changed our route and brought us closer to the station before the delivery point... Making the autopilot take us directly there... three months! In three months, we'll be there!"

You gave a small jump, excited about what you had discovered, soon going to the others to be able to inform them.

But just as you were about to reach them, there was a collapse of boxes in the aisle you were passing through.

You could hear their screams and how they called you, you felt a great weight on your body and it was extremely painful, your chest was crushed and you couldn't breathe.

You knew very well that those boxes were strategically placed to avoid damage, so you were sure that someone intervened to make them fall that way.

You let out a sigh, immediately spitting blood, trying to pull your hand out from between the boxes and the mouthwashes on you.

Until you were left with your hand raised and your eyes closed.

.

.

.

.

.

You jumped up with your breath quickened and clutched your stomach as you felt a sharp pain.

"I'm going to kill him"

You didn't take another second to get out of bed, clutching your stomach feeling the pain, but your anger was bigger.

When you were about to leave the nurseary, you heard a groan.

You slowly turned to see that man, or what was left of him, lying on that table.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

I recently rewatched Mouthwashing (thanks to CoryxKenshin being back like the king he is) and going through the tag again and I think everyone's missing like, one big thing with Anya. Specifically due to people not realizing just how long they were all stuck there.

tw under the cut for... everything that happens to Anya in this game.

More specifically, TW: sexual assault, pregnancy, abortion, miscarriage, suicide.

Anya was not still pregnant when she died.

I kinda figured this was common knowledge but I keep seeing people like... assume she was dying while still pregnant, and the thing is. It doesn't track at all.

When Anya asks Curly how much longer they'll be in space, and she depressedly realizes it will be eight months, that's cause she already knows she's pregnant by that point. Human pregnancy is roughly nine months, if you weren't aware, and women tend to realize they're pregnant at about 2-3 months. AKA: she's realizing she has no chance of an abortion. Clearly they don't have the medical tools for a safe one on the ship, and they're not going to leave the ship for eight months. By that time, the kid will be born. Even if miraculously she's still pregnant by the time they land and she can get a late-late-term abortion, even if she gives the kid up for adoption, she still has to be pregnant, on a ship that barely has the tools for the survival of five healthy people, with her rapist's baby, for eight months. And again, that's not going to happen; she's already 2-3 months along at that point, the kid would probably be born in the med bay.

I think that's also part of why Jimmy freaked out. The "taking responsibility" could be seen as him having to take responsibility for a kid, but the way I always read it, it was that once they landed, there would be zero chance that Jimmy could deny he'd slept with Anya. DNA tests are accurate now, I'm sure in our far future where we can space-travel it's gotten even better. His best case scenario would be her not pressing charges or claiming it was consensual and then he'd have to either help raise the kid or pay child support when he clearly can't even afford to take care of himself AND he just lost his job. But that's again, the best case. What I think he knew would be more likely to happen would be that she would admit what had happened to her, the baby would serve as proof, and whether Curly backed him up or not, Swansea and Daisuke were less fond of him and less loyal to him respectively. If they testified that they didn't see any consensual relationship going on, or if they testified about him harassing her or worse, that'd be three-against-two, and that's assuming Curly would back him up on the basis of them being friends. Curly claimed to Jimmy that he was going to figure it out for them, and his efforts to appease Jimmy over protecting Anya are what caused this shitstorm to happen, but he's also a professional who isn't very inclined to dishonesty from what we've seen of him.

Jimmy, I think, knew that. He knew that "taking responsibility" wasn't just "for the kid you brought into the world," it would be "for the crime you committed." If the MouthwashingVerse society is similar enough to ours, he would be arrested and charged, probably jailed, and put on a sex offender registry, which would severely limit his job prospects once he got out of incarceration. If the society is better than ours, he might get longer jail time and worse punishments then we see for rapists in our world. And if it's worse, there's still physical proof that Jimmy created a kid and he'd be expected to take care of it. But I think the former options are the more likely, and why Jimmy was so willing to die rather than take responsibility. It wasn't "I would rather die than be a father," it was "I would rather die than face consequences for my crimes." Let's also not forget that in storytelling, babies are basic metaphors for the future. Jimmy does not want to face his future, so he kills it for everyone.

But with the crash, back to my main point: Anya would've been 2-3 months pregnant by the time of the crash. They survive five months on the asteroid before everyone dies. I know this game is low-poly, but does Anya look 7-8 months pregnant to you? The game has enough polygons to make Swansea plus-sized, so you'd think it wouldn't be that hard to make an alternate Anya model. But she not only doesn't look pregnant, not a single other character mentions a pregnancy in their laundry list of current problems. It's not exactly easy to hide when you're seven months pregnant.

It's most likely that Anya miscarried early on in the crash. If the crash itself didn't do it– which it probably did– the next five months of limited food, high-stress, and no medication would do it.

Why am I bringing this up? I keep seeing people assume that Anya's suicide was then in her last-ditch effort to not have to birth her rapist's baby. An attempt to take control back of her own body. But there isn't a baby by then. Anya hasn't been pregnant for a while. I think it's a little scary for people to try turning her suicide into her triumphing over Jimmy, when part of the horror of the story is how everyone's deaths were tragic and avoidable. Anya did not kill herself to avoid being pregnant, she killed herself because she was traumatized and suicidal and didn't see a future for her or anyone on the ship.

[butuhaventseenmyman]

Girl dad Curly but like you were on the original crew but you had to go on maternity leave so u got replaced by Daisuke and then when they all get back (everythings fine alright the crash never happened) and he gets to see his baby girl and it's just cute fluffy yk? It's been on my brain for the past like 5 days dude

ohhh i LOVE Curly being a girl dadddd

my first sfw writing lmao

(btw i always envision Grant & reader + babies living in Montana- his birth state- since he loves winter sports and winter is his fav season canonically)

Curly missed you. So, so bad.

he was so happy that he could have you on the ship for most of your pregnancy, but the two of you knew it would be best for you if you left right before giving birth. as much as Curly wanted to be there, he knew it would be the safest at home, where you felt comfortable. the Tulpar was no place for giving birth.

so, another person was brought in to replace you- Daisuke. you'd met him before the crew left, let him feel your bump. he was really sweet, and you were glad your captain was in good hands.

Curly, unfortunately, couldn't make it to the birth because he was stuck at work for the next 3-month haul (he was lucky it was short).

you, of course, gave birth in the hospital to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. Curly was so sad he couldn't be with you, and he also had no idea how you were doing or if the birth even went well.

he tried to distract himself by being busy on the ship. you were also grateful that the baby was so needy, because it helped you forget about your postpartum depression and missing your husband- at least, for a little bit.

you rocked her and showed her pictures of her daddy, played pre-recorded videos of him singing and playing guitar as she fell asleep. he would cry in his quarters every few nights when the homesickness got too much, and Anya, Daisuke, and Swansea would take turns talking to him and making him feel better.

in this case, 3 months was a really long time.

but finally, that day came where the crew completed their delivery and were able to come home. you bundled your baby girl up and put her in her car seat, making sure her stroller was secure in the trunk before making the drive to the landing site.

Curly's mom came with you, just to make sure you were okay. you took turns driving, and she did most of it to let you rest.

thankfully, it was only a few hours away, so you weren't too tired by the time you got there. you buttoned up your jacket and the two of you made the walk to the waiting area a safe distance away.

that was where you met Daisuke's parents and Swansea's wife and one of his sons. you showed them your baby and introduced yourself as the captain's wife and, fuck if that didn't turn you on just saying it.

the seven of you watched the ship land together. actually, you didn't watch much of it- you were more focused on the look of pure wonder in your baby's eyes. even if she didn't remember it when she was older, she was about to meet her father for the first time.

people helped the tired crew adjust as they exited the ship. Curly always let his crew go first- you bit your lip at the suspense that caused the three of you.

and when he finally emerged...you remembered what you had been waiting for all your life.

he didn't even glance at the assistants as he ran towards you, his eyes on his beautiful baby. he embraced you first, kissing you passionately and wrapping his arms around you. you were both teary as he assessed you and your body. "how was the birth? no complications? she's alright?"

he kissed you again before hugging his mother, sobbing like the child he used to be in her presence. he broke down and she comforted him like only his mother could.

once he had calmed down a little, Grant took a look at the pride and joy he had helped to create with you. she had your eyes with a few tiny wisps of curly hair. he fell to his knees and pressed his lips to her delicate, tiny little forehead.

he went around and showed her to everyone- his crew and his crew's family. Anya, Daisuke, and Swansea loved her almost as much as you two did. you all talked about her and your lives for a while before it started to get closer to sunset.

everyone said goodbye, a farewell until the next haul, and headed home. Grant's mom offered to get the car started and allow you two a moment alone.

he bounced the new love of his life and tickled her, watching her toothless giggle.

and as he embraced you and his beautiful new daughter, he knew he'd always strive to protect the two things in his life most worth fighting for- and you also knew that you'd be your strongest when you had the man that was the most worth waiting for.

a/n: so sorry chat (and especially you Sage my love <3) i had this in the drafts for a while and just finished it up tonight- hope you like it!!!

[yumeka-sxf]

Seems like this chapter just about wrapped up the Mole Hunt arc. I decided to analyze a bit more than I usually do with my chapter reviews since there was a lot to talk about on the Twiyor front!

When Fiona questioned Twilight about not killing Yuri, he gave his official "for the mission" reason, but slipped up by calling Yor "Yor-san" instead of "Yor Briar." This made it obvious to Fiona (who already knows about him softening) that he's trying desperately hard to cover up those feelings. Even though this would have been a good opportunity for her to imply that she's a better fit for the wife role, she doesn't even try because she knows Twilight would defend "Yor-san" in every subtle way he could.

When he gets home and finds out that Yor doesn't actually have gripes with him, he's relieved of that last load of stress and is finally able to relax, causing him to collapse (similar to the very first chapter when he collapsed after Anya passed the Eden entrance exam). After he realizes how utterly exhausted he is, he can't help but ask Yor to help out with his housework.

Her reply is what really makes everything sink in for him - despite all his attempts to be a flawless spy, she doesn't want him to be that way. She's happy when she can be useful to him and thinks it's bad if he pushes himself to be perfect all the time.

And yet, that's exactly what he has to be in order to survive as a spy. The fact that he had to ask someone for help with simple housework, plus someone telling him that he doesn't have to be perfect, made him recall the feeling he had when he looked into Wheeler's eyes...that he lives in a world where you have to be perfect in order to survive, and having any kind of weakness just won't due.

While Twilight continues to be clueless about Fiona's feelings for him among other things, what he does realize at the end of this arc is his own feelings - that he does have a weakness. He's beginning to understand more than ever that a spy can't afford to be anything but perfect. And yet, his refusal to kill Yuri, which is a result of him caring about Yor (even though he gave Fiona his usual "for the mission" reason, she saw right through it) is conflicting him even more.

I also have to point out how considerate Yor was of Loid's exhaustion - she completely pushed Yuri away, even after noticing he was injured. She didn't even invite him to stay and have tea with them!

What Twilight was about to say to Yor (in his mind) before Yuri interrupted is debatable, but going by his previous line of thought, it was probably something bittersweet like "which is why...once Operation Strix is over, I'll have to leave the Forgers" or possibly something more immediate, where he now realizes how compromised he truly is and so might reconsider the stipulations of Operation Strix even before it's over. Though I think it's more of the former since his thoughts in the shower in the next scene make it seem like he's not ready to do anything drastic yet, but the idea is still gnawing at him.

Fiona had noticed his leaking emotions way back when she was first introduced, but this is the first time Twilight himself is realizing it and not denying it. Whether anything major will change in his actions from now on is yet to be seen. Will there be another aftermath chapter or two with Twilight still being jostled by this realization? Or will things go back to normal now and he'll brush those feelings aside for another day? It seems like Yuri has been totally thrown off the scent, so his identity should be safe for the time being. Will Anya get to read his mind the next morning and finally find out everything that happened? The next new chapter won't be out for another 4 weeks, so brace yourself for a grueling wait!

[zriasstuff]

First impressions—Lorenzo Berkshire x reader

Lorenzo Berkshire behaves like the perfect gentleman towards you, but what’s underneath that perfect facade? First impressions don’t last forever…

go to pt.2—> Second chances?

“Look, this one’s sooo pretty!”, your friend Jenny on your right hand side squealed excitedly.

“Oh my god, I have to get this dress”, Anya, your other friend, gushed while already holding five different ones in her hands.

You were also roaming through the countless racks, searching for a new and mature looking dress. In Hogsmeade, a new boutique had just opened and soon enough all the girls stormed inside to get the most beautiful pieces.

Inside the boutique everything was laced with delicacy, elegance and maturity. Three things you wanted more than anything to be a part of yourself. It was about time that you changed your appearance and became a young woman. After all, you were in your fifth year at Hogwarts already.

Not being able to decide between all the gorgeous clothing pieces you picked up, you took all ten of them to try on. Ten was definitely too many though, so some would have to be eliminated. The trying on process sadly didn’t do much for you, you still loved every single piece. Eventually, you come out of the fitting room, upset due to your inability to decide.

“Just buy all of them then”, Anya encourages you, “if you don’t they’ll be sold out and you will never get to try them on again”

That was easy for her to say. She was born into generational wealth and could buy all the clothes, or anything at all, that she fancied. On the other hand, you couldn’t just take home whatever you pleased. Still, you felt lucky that you had the money to buy one or two, so you eyed each piece you grabbed carefully.

“Ugh, they all would look so beautiful on me”, you groan, not wanting to give up even one of them.

When you turn around again to get your friends’ advice, they are nowhere to be seen.

Scanning the area for them, you unexpectedly make eye contact with someone who seemed to have been eying you. You stop looking for your friends, and take a moment to glance into this mysterious persons piercing blue eyes, perhaps for a little too long. He, whoever he was, appears to have taken an interest and started inching towards you.

Suddenly, after not having been able to place him, you recognize who he was. He was one of the guys who always hung around Draco Malfoy, who was a year above you. Even though you were in the same house, you have barely even made contact.

“You’re right”, he approaches you, looking you up and down.

“About what?”, you ask, finding it strange why one would approach you in this way. And as a guy, why would he be in this particular boutique. Was he perhaps shopping for his girlfriend or sister, you wonder.

“They would all indeed look very beautiful on you”, he compliments you charmingly, towering over you, a warm smile on his face as he said that. Sounds like he overheard your little dilemma. Surprised that he was so straight forward, you feel your cheeks heating up a little. While you’re smiling nervously, you manage to mumble out a thank you.

“It would be such a shame, if you had to leave them here”, this guy, whose name didn't even come to your mind, continued the sudden conversation. This guy surely had something planned, with the way he was leading it.

“Yeah, sometimes I wish I could just go shopping limitlessly”, you truthfully admit.

“So what’s your name, darling?”

“Y/n”, you answer while a thousand thoughts circled your mind. Such as how you managed to have caught the attention of this gorgeous, older guy— he surely must’ve approached you because he found you pretty right? And he just called you “darling” in such a heartwarming tone.

You didn’t like where your mind was wandering. All those thoughts, simply because a guy paid you the slightest amount of attention.

How long has it been since a guy had shown the slightest interest in you again? As if the exact time mattered, it had been too long anyway. You start doubting that you were maybe reading too much into his behavior—that your feelings were the ones of a silly little girl who just received some candy. So he called you darling, that doesn’t have to mean anything.

“Pretty”, he notes, “I’m Lorenzo by the way, but you can call me Enzo”.

Alright, you rethink, surely you weren’t reading too much into it. He just complimented you again, the second time within five minutes.

“May I?”, he gently asks, disrupting your small talk. Before you could even respond, he takes the clothes out of your hands. You weren’t sure what to make of this, so you threw him a questioning look. “Let me”, he says, afterwards smoothly grabbing your hand. “Let me what?”, you try to understand his behavior as you’re being led by him.

“Let me spoil you with what you deserve”, he responds so genuinely, but also as if it was the most natural thing in the world. You couldn’t even believe it. He had to be an angel fallen from heaven, with the way he was treating you.

This Enzo, whom you just properly met, was willing to spoil you like a literal princess. This is what teenage romance that your favorite authors write about must feel like.

“Are you kidding?”, you ask in utter disbelief. Not that you were complaining, but it simply felt too unreal, that someone would do this for you without even knowing you.

At the counter, you finally catch your friends, who have become victims of a giggle attack. They kept pointing their fingers at Enzo, maybe demanding some sort of explanation, but you yourself didn’t even know what to make of this.

All you knew was that within the next five minutes, he had paid for all ten pieces you picked out and was carrying the bags for you, like a true gentleman.

“I don’t even know how to thank you for this”, you tell him at the exit of the store, hoping he wouldn’t regret what he just did. What if he demanded you to reimburse him? No, he wouldn’t do that right?

“You wearing one of those would be enough of a thank you.” You can’t help but blush at his words, not believing your luck, that you met a guy this sweet. He was truly everything a girl could ask for.

Generous, handsome, tall, and caring—the whole package.

You saw your friends waving you over to them, so you excuse yourself. As he hands you the bags, his hand lingers on yours for a moment, before you let go and go over to your friends.

On your way you hear Enzo’s voice, causing you to turn around briefly.

“Meet me after dinner tonight, yeah?”

“Of course”, you happily obliged. You couldn’t wait to tell your friends about this perfect guy, and they couldn’t wait to hear the story either.

…

During dinner you kept turning your head to the right, hoping to catch a few glimpses of Enzo, who was sitting only a few seats away from you. You became rather disappointed when he didn’t notice you. Instead, he was laughing with all his friends.

“Y/n, what do you think?”, you hear all of a sudden, pulling you out of your admiration for Enzo. Totally in and out of your head, you try to remember what your friend asked you about. You also wondered whether Enzo had told all his friends about you yet, hopefully in a positive manner.

“Are you so in love with this guy you met four hours ago, that you can’t even focus on your real friends anymore”, she jokes, totally calling you out in your lovestruck behavior. The way you were infatuated with him, one could believe that he snuck you a love potion. But no, he was the first guy that you had ever felt this enchanted by.

In the last remaining minutes of dinner, you were mentally counting down the minutes. Only a little longer, you told yourself, then you could meet with him. Talk with him. Get to know him further. And eventually you would both lean in for a kiss and then…

“Dinner is finished, please go back to your respective common rooms”, Dumbledore's voice echoes through the dining hall, interrupting your daydream. As you’re getting up slowly, you tell your friends to go ahead. When everyone walked out, you saw Enzo separating from his friends to make his way to you. You could barely wait, having anticipated talking with him throughout the entire dinner.

“Hey”, he says, coming up to you.

You say nothing, replying with a simple smile. Deep down you were kind of scared of sounding overly excited, which could possibly scare him off.

“How’s it going?”

“Pretty good, how about you?”, you play your feelings down. You were better than “pretty good”, you were floating on cloud nine. If paradise existed, you were pretty sure that you were there already.

“I see you’re wearing a new dress, you look stunning”, Enzo says while looking you up and down, yet again. Your heart skipped a beat, overjoyed that he took notice. He really did pay attention to you.

“I’m glad.” Little did you know, and he did too, that you only wore this for him to see. It made you happy to know that your efforts weren’t in vain.

“Listen, how about we meet in my dorm?”, he suggested, “have us a little quiet place.” You instantly agreed, but told him that you would come by a little later because you wanted to refresh yourself in your own dorm first.

After all, you wanted everything to be perfect for your first date— wait, you stop your train of thought. Was it even a proper date? You weren’t sure, you’ve never been on one. Either way, you hurriedly skipped off to your dorm, informing all your girlfriends on your meeting.

Being the supportive girlfriends they were, they help you and give you pointers on your hair and makeup.

“I cannot believe that you’re going to be Enzo’s girlfriend”

“I’m so jealous, I wish an older guy would ask me out too”, they rave over your incredible luck.

“Well, I don’t even know if I’m really going to be his girlfriend”, you confess. He did seem interested, but after all you two were on completely different levels. What gave you comfort was that he seemed to be one of the nicer guys.

After one more glance in the mirror, you take off and ask everyone to wish you luck. You tried to be as quick as possible, not wanting to miss out on moments that you could’ve spent with Enzo.

Carefully, you sneak over to the boys’s dorms and you realize that you didn’t know which one Enzo slept in. So, you wander door to door, abruptly stopping when you recognize Enzo’s voice. His dorm door was open by a slit, so you lean in a little to listen. You knew it was sneaky, but you just couldn’t fight off your curiosity…

At first you couldn’t make out their indistinct words, but suddenly Enzo got a little louder. He sounded completely different from when you talked with him earlier.

“Fuck no!”, he scoffed loudly. You didn’t know what he rejected so angrily, but it only piqued your curiosity. You guessed that he was in the process of kicking his friends out to spend some time with you.

“Do you honestly think I care about her?” Enzo threw the question around. Upon hearing that you felt your heart standing still. Who was he talking about?

“Ok but if you don’t actually like her, then why go through the effort of chasing her down in that boutique”, Draco’s voice hollered all the way to you. After hearing that, even the tiniest hope—that he didn’t mean you, diminished within seconds.

“Yeah, you could literally have any girl you want, without spending a coin”, Blaise stated so painfully blatantly.

“You guys don’t get it”, Enzo defended his questionable, and apparently exaggerated, efforts to get you.

“My purchase barely cost me anything in terms of money, I have enough of that. But in return, I get a young, stupid and attractive girl who’ll do anything for me, because subconsciously she thinks she owes me”

Never in your entire life have you heard such a disgusting thing. For him you turned out to just be eye candy. A mere investment if you were being completely cynical.

Without wanting to hear more of what he had to say, you ran off back to your own dorm. His words rung in your head, stinging harder than you could have imagined. Back at your dorm, you barge in and burst into tears in front of all your friends. You’ve been holding them in ever since you heard his hurtful words.

After jumping on your bed, you instantly sink your head into a pillow. The darkness helped a little in blocking out everything. How could he have been so manipulative, and how stupid were you to have actually fallen for that?

His words may have been disgusting, but what was worse, was that they were true. Perhaps you would’ve really done anything he asked for in his dorm, had you not overheard their conversation.

With your makeup ruined and mascara running down your cheeks, you finally look up to answer to your friends’ concerns. All of them huddled around you, already comforting you even though they didn’t even know what happened. As you’re retelling what you overheard, you’re barely able to look them in their eyes. That’s how embarrassed you were.

When you were done, none of them could believe how sick and twisted Lorenzo Berkshire really was. Under that nice guy facade, hid a ugly and cunning playboy. At least Draco was open in showing what an asshole he was, this way he couldn’t really surprise you. But with Enzo, his first impressions were deceitful, which was way worse.

But under all your anger for Enzo, you were scared. Scared of the fact that Enzo was the first guy you’ve ever had real feelings for. Of course you only felt that way because he schemed and you fell right into his trap.

Still, a little part of your heart shattered upon the cruel reality. You didn’t want to believe it. A tiny guilt feeling part of you wanted so badly to walk up to his dorm again and to pretend nothing happened. It’d be easier than accepting his true intentions.

A sharp knock suddenly catches all of your attention. You must’ve been bawling out your eyes for a while now. You realize that Enzo had no idea about what happened and was still waiting for you.

“Can I come in”, you all hear him say from the other side of the door.

“FUCK Y-”, Anya begins yelling, before you immediately cover her mouth with your hand. You know she only meant the best, but you did it for a reason.

Everyone looked at you confused, trying to make out what you were thinking.

“Don’t let him know yet”, you whisper decisively, hoping he couldn’t hear you through the door.

They all ask why not, and truthfully you also weren’t too sure. But it felt more secure at the moment to not reveal your cards yet. Who knew how you could utilize the information you had. Ironically you learned that from Enzo in the past ten minutes.

“Is everything okay?”, he asks through the door, unsure of what was happening. What an amazing actor, pretending to genuinely care. How could one be so shamelessly two faced.

“You know what Enzo, I’m feeling a little sick”, you lie, trying to sound composed and calm. You couldn’t face him just yet.

“I'm sorry to hear that, I could-”

“I think it’s best if we just talk tomorrow”, you stop him before he could go on with more of his bullshit. In all honesty, talking to him was the last thing you wanted, but you had to sound believably fine.

“If you say so. Good night then”, and with that you heard his leaving footsteps.

“What are you doing?” Jenny asks you with a puzzled expression.

You explain to all of them that you need some peace right now to deal with your emotions and thoughts. The whole Enzo thing needed some time to be dealt with.

Since you were obviously in a bad headspace, they understand and leave you alone.

When lying in bed and processing your emotions from before, all the sadness, anger, embarrassment and fear—you suddenly feel something else too. You deeply wanted him to feel as foolish as you did too. You wanted him to regret his stupid little plan forever. You seeked for more than simply forgiving and forgetting, you wanted revenge.

[dekulakization]

Not to be a nerd on main but I've got some shit to say about Curly mouthwashing.

Initial injuries:

How did Curly end up a tetralateral amputee. Why were the amputations PERFORMED for that matter. His injuries apparently reached all four limbs in equal spots. The right eye being covered implies either that the blast was stronger on the right side (AKA that he was turned so that the blast faced the right side of his body) or that he received additional injuries (perhaps shrapnel or an injury as he was thrown backwards by the force of the blast). IF he was turned to the blast with his right side of the body, wouldn't the injuries be more severe there? More damaged tissue, more unsalvageable tissue. If this was the case I feel like his amputations would be up to the hip/shoulder. I've heard the idea that he was perhaps stuck in foam but that doesn't clear anything up for me. Were his arms and legs both equally inside of the foam so that when the blast struck his joints (elbows/knees) were all injured beyond repair?

Even if that's the case, they didn't have the supplies for an amputation (let alone 4) by ANY means. There was no trained medical personnel on board (Anya only finished the company course) and amputation is a dangerous procedure just as any other surgery is. I feel like attempting to perform a botched amputation would be far more dangerous than leaving the tissue be. Though that poses the risk of necrosis. More on necrosis later.

Infection, cardiovascular concerns, blood loss and thermoregulation:

How did the crew stop the initial bleeding? How did they remove whatever they used to stop the initial bleeding? Blood loss had to be severe, and I feel like the crew would get to him far too late to stop him bleeding out completely. And for my second statement, things stick. Tissue paper sticks, cloth sticks, it sticks to tissue. Anything would cause further damage of the tissue.

Is ALL of his skin gone? All of it burned off? Is there still patches of it in tact? Either way, he lost ANY methods of thermoregulation since most of it (that being, the skin) is gone and the crew don't even bother to try and maybe, I don't know, stop him from going hypothermic. Give him a blanket. None of that. He's in a gown and some bandages. How did he not die of hypothermia?

Directly tied to the lack of thermoregulation, the bleeding and the pain, how did his heart not give out from the initial shock and later on psychophysical strain? I genuinely find it so hard to believe that after all of that his heart would still be holding out. It's a muscle that can overstrain itself just like any other.

Why and how in the world did he NOT get anything infected??? Jesus Christ? As far as we're aware he hasn't changed that gown nor those bandages in months. There is no disinfectant on the ship and even if there was using it on him would damage tissue further. Your skin protects the tissue underneath from infection and that's why it's easy for wounds to get infected, because they're breaks in the skin. It should be necrotic. What the hell. Also how's he not blind how didn't his eye dry out he can't blink

The purpose of keeping him alive: torturers tending to injuries

It's clear that the crew can recognise when a mercy killing is necessary (such as shown on the example of Daisuke). So why in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD is Curly left alive? Is it punishment because they think he crashed the ship? Why give him painkillers then? Why are you easing his pain? To stop his heart from giving out, to keep him alive longer?

IIRC Anya DID want to kill Curly but Jimmy was against it. This would not only completely out Jimmy as a sadist but it makes me wonder why is his word valued above the word of someone who has more medical experience than him, even if it was just a company course. Was she scared of what he'd do if she didn't listen to him?? Also why is this not a matter the entire crew is supposed to discuss??? And this leads into my NEXT point:

Why is nobody attempting to establish some sort of communication method with Curly? Hello?? He's clearly conscious and present within the moment, able to see and process the things around him. He literally cannot do anything. The least you could do, if you truly want to ease pain, is to try to stimulate him intellectually. To talk to him like a man to a man. His humanity was stripped from him by his surroundings rather than the crash itself. Letting him stare at a white ceiling with his only stimulation being pills forced down his throat is genuinely inhumane. Nobody is asking him whether HE wants to live or to die. Nobody is taking into consideration that he still has thoughts.

Perhaps I'm taking the entirety of his character too literally. Don't get me wrong, I love this game. I haven't played it myself, I could only bring myself to watch analysis videos, so some of the things I say might be straight up wrong, and I'm willing to take any criticism and discussion that starts. This was just me nerding out about medicine

[son-of-crows-and-rats]

I've rambled about this game before in tags and while I have a lot of complex thoughts on Curly as a character and what he should have done and how fandom responses and discussions have had good and bad takes (and it's all complicated and has layers which is a core point of the game!) one take I've never seen explicitly said for "Curly should have xyz" which I'm surprised to not see is "Curly should have asked Anya what she wanted". We don't know how much he would have listened or if her plan would make sense, but I think it says a lot about how the game's POVs (and some of the fandom) show Anya with little agency and someone who things happen to not someone who does things, and the men on board as the ones who make decisions and decide the course of the narrative for better or worse. I've seen people saying Anya should have been able to get angry and kill Jimmy, and people saying not all victims want violence and it's okay if she just wants to escape and move on. There's also arguments saying Curly should have reported Jimmy, shot him, put him in cryostasis, etc. and arguments saying Curly wasn't being malicious and that he was worried about things like their pay being docked, being locked with that conflict for months, not understanding the situation, etc. And it is complicated! But part of that male-centric view the game critiques (and fandom is against but accidentally perpetuates at times) is saying that it should have been Curly's choice at all. We don't know if Anya would have wanted to have shift scheduling and where she stayed and who spoke to Jimmy changed so he's kept away from her and to leave it at that. We don't know if she would have wanted to report him directly to the company's HR. We only see her when she's at her breaking point and even then her goal is to defend herself and prevent Jimmy from harming anyone. Anything past that is speculation. Obviously certain plans like a murder suicide or something like that would make sense for Curly to be against, but he never bothered to check. He said he would do anything, but didn't ask what that "anything" should be. Not all victims are the same, and not everybody has the same priorities. Part of getting rid of that male-centric toxic rape culture is letting women and victims have their own voices and decide their own paths, and framing the ideal situation as "the man in charge should have decided to protect the woman in xyz way because that's what she needed" instead of "the man in charge should have asked the woman what she needed and protected her that way" is still ultimately one man having control of everything. And we know from the game that doesn't work, even if he's a "good man that means well" and thinks he's inferring what's best. The only way to make sure victims get the support they need is to ask

[adamaramma]

Hear me out, guys, this is going to be kind of a long post, but I’m about to start cooking right now.

(spoilers for the manga btw sorry)

Okay, so we all know how Loid/ Twilight looks. If you scroll down, I’ve included some pictures of him (yes, I edited them).

Notice how he’s almost always drawn with angular features such as his jawline. (as seen by the red lines)

This is effective in showcasing his age and his experiences. Those angular features aren’t just for show—they subtly hint at his overall sharp personality and demeanour.

I mean, when is he NOT drawn with that iconic chiselled jawline?

But I do want to draw your attention to something.

We all (manga readers) know the story of [REDACTED].

And we all know that iconic heart-breaking panel of him crying once he realises his childhood friends survived the attack on his home town.

But look at this...

These three panels were all taken from his backstory arc, and notice how instead of his face being very angular and sharp, it is now rounded and softer than his usual jawline.

He almost looks like a child in these drawings, especially the first one where his face is considerably shorter.

Kinda like a squishy version of Loid.

When 'Loid' was reunited with his friends, it took him back. Back to a time when he didn't have to worry about the war, only playing pretend. For a moment, he was [REDACTED] again. For a moment, everything was ok.

And when he was drafted for W.I.S.E, (middle picture), he was finally able to leave the battleground, but he looks noticeably tired and young.

It only makes sense. His entire childhood was stolen from him. He became an orphan at presumably Anyas age, forced to raise himself from the ground up before joining the war at only 16 years.

His brain may have aged, but his body sure didn't. He's basically a 30 yo trapped in a body years too young for him.

Now, I expected people to say, "Well, of course, he looks younger. He's only 17/18 years old compared to his age in the main story."

Then take a look at these.

Both of these scenes happened before the previous ones, proving that it is not his physical age that contributes to the change in his face, but his mental age.

and to further prove my point i photoshopped squishy loids face on [redacted] to show how childlike he looks

like, you CANNOT tell me that isnt a literal child be so fr

(also expect like two more posts about loids backstory arc bc i have wayyyyy too many thoughts hahahha)

[ellestra]

Beyond the Wasteland of Vengeance

I just watched Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga and I loved it. It was hard at times as this is a harsh world and the rule of prequels tells us who has to die. But it was so worth it. We already know this is story of hope in the end. We know how Furiosa's Fury Road ends. It's starts with the same unrelenting determination (like the way she makes sure no one could tell of her home).

The cast is great (even if Chris Hemsworth fake face is somewhat distracting) but I think the most impressive was Alyla Browne who is Furiosa much longer than I expected for a film marketing Anya Taylor-Joy so heavily. She has some of the most badass parts (if you thought you hated Immortan Joe's sons before... well, thinking of their deaths is even more satisfying now). She is also made look so alike Anya that I initially missed the moment they switched.

But Immortan Joe and his band of monsters are just background creeps showing the decay of the world in general. The main villain is the one who took everything she loved from Furiosa. And didn't even remember half of it because he destroyed so many lives hers was nothing special. The one who set her on this path.

There is something sad about Dementus. You can almost feel, not compassion, but at least pity. You can see glimpses of a person he used to be before children died and you see how the end of the world destroyed him. It's like the voiceovers at the beginning describe what happened to his mind and soul when everything fell apart.

He's embodiment of that rot (and him going through white to red to black phases makes it even more clear). And he destroys everything he touches. At least the lords of Citadel, Bullet Farm and Gas Town built something. Something horrible and cruel but something. He can only destroy. He thinks finding Abundance will save him but he will only destroy that too. As I said, allegory.

Furiosa is his opposite because she doesn't let the cruelty of the world destroy her like this. She doesn't let the rot take hold of her and use her to spread. She never trusts the monsters surrounding her and she doesn't believe any of their promises. There is no safety in just letting them do that one thing. The cruelty will not end and will not be just that one thing.

I loved how she never stopped fighting. Not during her kidnapping. Not during her imprisonment. And then she found a way to escape one into another and then escape that one too. Using the very way those men wanted to poses her to plan her escape. Even when she loses her way home (figuratively and literally) to have her revenge it doesn't last. Even if she needed help in to follow her dream.

It's hard to trust in this world because a single act of kindness may cost you everything. But not everyone is evil. Even in Wasteland she finds someone who actually gives her help she needs. Someone she wishes to share her goal with. This films actually did "not all men" and it was great because it was earned but also because it helped explain why she would trust Max eventually. She already knew there are ones you can trust.

I tried to be pretty generic so far but behind this cut are SPOILERS for the very end (even though I don't say what it actually is - you can watch it yourself).

That ending was perfect both as foreshadowing who she will become but also as a callback to the beginning of the movie. Dementus tried to make her his daughter and use her to replace his children but she rejected him completely. Even if that was just swapping one monster for a bunch of even worse ones. And here at the ends he gloats about turning her into his daughter anyway. One in spirit anyway.

That like him she becomes creature of revenge and cruelty that nothing will ever satiate. Someone so obsessed with vengeance she will never stop even when the other side just want to leave (the mirroring of all the time he chased his prey and her chasing him was pretty nice). He thinks his death would just seal the deal because his suffering will never be great enough to soothe her pain.

You know, your standard - you will become like me spiel a villain does in moment like these. And lesser movies have heroes let villain go to prove them wrong (and then he tries to kill the hero anyway so the hero can have “my life was in danger” excuse to kill them anyway).

And she does lets him live but she doesn’t let him win. Once again she rejects him just like she did as a child. She remakes him into a symbol of her new purpose. She creates life out of a rotten man who did nothing but destroy lives of those around him. She makes him suffer for all the suffering he caused but that suffering is to build something new. And to create hope and future for those who have been abused by men like him.

And just like he asked she made it epic but as one last “fuck you” to him trying to control her story no one knows (well, almost no one). It’s epic and it’s a secret.

There is also something poetic that Furiosa eventually took over the Citadel - something he wanted so badly and never achieved. It retroactively made ending of Mad Max: Fury Road even better. And since it only took few days of them being gone he’s probably still there as she remakes it into the new Green Place.

[lpham2525]

Misunderstanding: Part II

[YOR is waiting up for LOID one night when both he and FRANKY come into the flat. LOID has a limp so severe that FRANKY has to help him through the door.] 

YOR: Loid! Franky! What happened?! 

FRANKY: Easy, easy. Let him sit down first.  

YOR: Should I call for an ambulance? 

TWILIGHT: No, no. It’s not that bad. I’m just...sore. That's all.  

TWILIGHT (grunts as he sits on the couch): Ah, much better. 

YOR: Loid, what’s going on? What happened to you?

TWILIGHT (sighing): Yor, there's something I need to tell you.  

YOR: W-what is it?  

TWILIGHT: Well, I’ve been pulling a lot of late nights recently, and I think I should let you know that... 

FRANKY (impatient): Your husband’s fucking Twilight.  

YOR: T-TWILIGHT?! Th-the Westalian spy?! 

TWILIGHT: ... 

TWILIGHT: Franky, can you give us a moment alone?  

FRANKY: And miss this?! No way!  

TWILIGHT: *gives him the Twilight Glare*

TWILIGHT: Franky... 

FRANKY: Okay, okay. I’ m going. I’ll see ya later...if you survive this.  

[After FRANKY leaves, TWILIGHT turns back to YOR.] 

TWILIGHT: Yes...it’s true.  

YOR (in shock): If that’s true, then...that’s why he never developed romantic feelings for me! My husband’s...gay! How could I have not seen it?! The signs were all there!  

YOR: So your first wife... 

TWILIGHT: Never existed.  

YOR: And Anya? 

TWILIGHT: Adopted.  

YOR: Does, erm, does Anya know about Twilight?  

TWLIGHT: No. I made sure to keep it well hidden from her.  

YOR: Hmmm....maybe because Anya might tell someone at school? I can’t imagine a traditional school like Eden would be welcoming to a gay father. Well, regardless... 

YOR: Loid, I want you to know that I support you.  

LOID: You...you DO?!  

YOR: Yes, I don’t think it’s shameful at all, and it’s sad we live in a society where you can’t express that part of yourself.  

LOID: I don’t think that it’s shameful, but...I also have no desire to express that part of myself. It would make my life—and my job—so much harder if people knew. My identity must remain secret. 

YOR: Well, I can understand about your job. Some people might not trust a doctor if they knew of...other things he dabbled in. And I also understand that kind of...alternative lifestyle requires secrecy. People are tortured and killed for these kinds of things after all. 

LOID: I’m glad you understand. I'll be honest, though, I am bowled over by your support. This was not the reaction I expected.  

YOR: What did you expect?  

LOID: Crying. Screaming. Cursing. Slapping me. Reporting me.  

YOR: Oh no, Loid. I would never report something like this. I mean, for a while, I suspected my brother of the same thing, but I would never report him for being who he is so...why would I do that with you?  

LOID: You suspected your brother of being Twilight?  

YOR: Oh no, I didn't suspect him of being Twilight, but of having the same sexual inclinations that you do. And who was I to judge? I love my brother and I support him, the same way I support you and whatever you want to do with your life. 

LOID: The same sexual inclinations? I don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I had times when I slept with other women only because I needed to— 

YOR: Blend in. I know. It’s okay.  

LOID: She knows I needed to blend in for my honey traps! She really is the sharpest person I’ve ever met! 

LOID: But it was never anything personal. 

YOR: I understand. I’m sure they do too.  [beat]

LOID: So your brother has also... 

YOR: It's possible. Likely, even. 

LOID: I didn't know the SSS did that kind of thing. Or maybe he had to honey trap someone for an assignment? Or could he be a spy? Maybe he's a mole like Wheeler! A spy for some agency but posing as SSS? Wait, I had Franky check his background. Maybe we missed something somewhere... 

LOID: Yor, while I appreciate your support, I’d like you to keep this a secret. Don’t tell anyone. Especially your brother.  

YOR (putting her hand over her heart): I promise to not tell anyone. Oh, and Loid?  

LOID: Hmm? 

YOR: The next time you have to “work late”, you don’t have to hide it from me. I know what you’re doing now and again, I support you.  

YOR: *fidgeting* 

YOR: I do have a question, though. 

LOID: Yes? 

YOR: Is Twilight always so... 

YOR: *gestures to Loid’s limp leg* 

YOR: Rough? 

LOID (chuckling): Not always. Some nights are just...more intense than others, let’s put it that way.  

YOR: Okay, but please be careful. I don’t want you hurt. 

LOID: I’ll be careful. I promise. 

LOID: I can’t believe I have such a supportive wife! It doesn’t make much sense, but I’m not complaining! 

YOR: I can’t believe I have a gay husband! Everything makes so much sense now!

[dykedvonte]

RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.

I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.

With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.

I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.

A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.

I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.

But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.

Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Previous - Part 9 - Next

You banged on the door of the room where that man was locked up, waking him up abruptly.

"Let's talk"

Jimmy: "I thought visiting hours were over."

He complained, turning around to turn his back to the door.

"Don't try to be funny with me, Jimmy. What the hell did we do to deserve so much hate from you?"

Jimmy: "Don't play innocent, you know very well what you did!"

"Honestly, I have no idea! That's why I'm asking you!"

Jimmy: "Of course, because I was always the shadow of your dear husband. You never turned to look at me again after you got with him, you never smiled at me like you did with him, you didn't even speak to me. It was as if I were invisible to you!"

"Oh, of course I was looking at you!"

Jimmy: "Then why didn't you ever tell me anything?!"

He shouted that, getting up from his bed to head towards the glass that separated them, watching your face to see you when you replied.

"BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!"

You screamed with all your lungs, to the point of making your throat hurt.

"You always brought trouble to Curly! He was always so naive, a sucker for approval, of being the good guy in the story, of not letting anyone down! That's why he never abandoned you! I knew better that's why i stopped talking with you! Because you were and are a piece of shit!" 

Jimmy: "Oh, but you talk as if I were the only fucked up one in the story."

"Yes! I admit it! I was also a mess when I met Curly, but I did something, I was able to see beyond that mess I was, he showed me that I could improve, he gave me opportunities that I knew how to take advantage of and become a better person! In someone who could make his mother proud instead of making her cry because she didn't know if he was coming home or not!"

There was a silence when you finished saying that, until you saw him smirk, that reaction you didn't like at all.

Jimmy: "You're right, Curly loves to please, you should know that very well."

"Ugh, for the love of God, I don't know why I try to reason with you, it's impossible."

Jimmy: "But you were the only one who refused to give in to make me happy."

You opened your eyes wide upon hearing that, turning again to the man who still wore that smug smile.

Jimmy: "Just as beautiful and messed up as I am, I thought you would understand me, but then you became a good girl, yet I still hoped you would look at me..."

"Shut up-"

Jimmy: "Oh, and the damn way Curly talked about you, how incredible you are, so kind, hardworking, so beautiful."

"I tell you to shut up-"

Jimmy: "Those lovely moles in the center of your chest that look like a constellation"

"He wouldn't talk about those things with you!"

Jimmy: "I saw it myself"

You felt like you were going to puke at that moment, you didn't want to believe that he had really done something like that to you while you were unconscious, you didn't want your suspicions to be confirmed, you refused to believe it.

"Liar. Anya wouldn't leave me alone, she would lock the nursery door-" 

Jimmy: "Yes, yes, she did that, it was a pain in the ass. Every night when she went to sleep, she locked the nursery with that code that only Curly and she knew... But that place wasn't closed while someone was inside."

"She wouldn't let you get close to me!"

Jimmy: "They were so sweet, Anya staying by your side saying she had to make sure all your signs were okay, and when she left, she would ask Swansea if he could keep an eye on you. But he was so depressed that he didn't dare to stay with you for long, so... I took his place to make sure you were okay."

"In front of Curly..."

You murmured at having to imagine the scene your husband had to witness without being able to do anything about it other than watch.

Jimmy: "That was the funniest thing"

You hugged tightly, feeling a horrible tingling all over your body, as if you were dirty.

Jimmy: "Swansea had no idea about anything, Anya didn't want to talk about it with anyone else. Thanks to her silence, I was able to finally look at that body that you always hide from me, thanks to Swansea's stupidity and feeling sad for his little captain, feeling all guilty and shit."

Swansea: "What did he just say..." 

You turned to see Swansea at the end of the hallway, carrying Jimmy's rations, holding an axe firmly in the other hand; he had managed to hear everything.

"Swansea-"

Swansea: "Open the door, captain"

"Listen - it's not worth it, do you have any idea what they'll do to you if they find out you hurt someone from the crew? Please, I don't want them to lock you up." 

You said immediately, positioning yourself in front of him, trying to get him to see you, but his eyes were glued to the door where he could see Jimmy's face.

Swansea: "How are they going to know? Let's say it was an accident. Open the door!"

You wanted to keep reasoning with him, but you couldn't deny that you also wished he would face consequences for his actions.

You took the axe from his hands, making him look at you annoyed.

"I won't take the risk of you killing him."

Those were your last words before opening the door, Swansea didn't take much more than a few seconds to fully open the door, step inside, and throw himself at Jimmy.

You could hear the sound of the blows, the insults, and the screams.

You stood at the door wide open, axe in hand, watching as the blood spread across the floor with each blow Swansea dealt.

You watched Jimmy and tilted your head, waiting for him to defend himself.

You wouldn't hesitate to cut off his hands if he touched Swansea.

[dreamingunderacloudysky]

What's your opinion on all the Jimmy enjoyers and fetish content out there?

Whew, ok, I felt like I was going to get asked this, but not THIS soon.

Ok. I'm totally fine with people liking Jimmy, he's a well written character with a complex array of issues and instincts which drive him forward as well as mysterious background for what really drove him to be in that crew. Most Jimmy enjoyers I meet are actually pretty chill for the most part. Do I like him?

Well...

Not exactly. I do believe in creative choice. People can write whatever they want, even if a lot of it I find disturbing. Jimmy's character made me actually feel upset at multiple points in the game, but thays a sign of just how humanly fucked up he's depicted. He's so human and does messed up but very human things, which makes it all feel real on an unsettling level.

The people I generally do not interact with are the people who FETISHIZE Jimmy's assault of Anya and say stuff like "She probably liked it ngl" like actually that is super gross and I really wasn't planning on bringing it up here, but years ago I myself was taken advantage of by another woman so for my case yes I cannot fathom the type of stuff people say or write with Jimmy. If someone is attracted to Jimmy, stop telling them to see a therapist (I mean, I think we all should after having played this game good lord the game messed with my psyche) while I dont agree with it and I don't understand how people can be attracted to him, it's also not my brain. They may be cringe, but they are free unless they're saying the type of comments I said earlier because they actually get off the internet.

This Fandom is very weird, and I'll admit me writing NSFW for it loops me in somewhat in a taboo spot, but I'm sorry Wrong Organ you made well written kissable polygons.

Before I get asked this next, WHY do I not write for Jimmy?

Just reread what I said earlier on how his involvement in the story, along with how Anya's played in part which hurt me in my soul and you'll understand that I personally cannot write for him without stirring up some unpleasant concepts of my past and just the general overall summary of his actions.

I'll be honest, I really don't want to write Curly either. As someone who worked in a leadership role for 8 years and take classes for my job to continue to do that Curly was a terrible leader 🙃 and made me want to bite chunks off of my keyboard like a Kit Kat. He is barely the lesser evil of Curly, and as a famous statement, I firmly believe

"Bad things happen when good people stand by"

But I will write Curly because why the hell not! I'm personally not attracted to him (first of all I'm a girl kisser, second of all we didn't see get to see him oerate pre-crash aside from playing AS him) But he's a good way to flex my writing muscles and give the masses some of my take on Curly. All the characters would be pretty fun to write for

So Jimmy enjoyers, sorry that you get harassed, but the weirdos, including the non Jimmy, fans need to keep their weird ass comments off of normal posts and not justify SA.

While I'm on this of yall want me to point out some stuff I don't like that is done with the character I'll leave a small list.

Jimmy fans... do i need to elaborate on what the weird ones do?

Some people make post SA Anya like she's a non functional human being and incapable of living and just an actual extremely dependent ball of constant sadness. Don't let her SA define her character just how SA victims aren't defined by their perpetrators. Don't romanticize abuse period

Daisuke I hear people complain about him being infantalized, but you have a bubbly character in any Fandom and they're going to babygirlify them I'm sorry it sucks for his fans but I hope I'm not writing hi that way he's just a silly man in my writing.

Swansea... I don't have much to say on it, a little strange to me that people hunger for a married man, but he's fictional so while I don't feel comfortable writing him romantically Swansea lovers can pop off hope you homies have fun!

Curly. Just the people saying he did nothing wrong. That's just cringe and honestly these are all strange pixel crushes we shouldn't be having but have them anyways so pop off to you homies too.

If anyone has comments or disagreements that's totally valid, feel free to leave them in the comments and I promise I won't bite if you don't. ☁️☁️☁️☁️

[cameoliob]

i'm the kallus jovan anon again, never apologize for writing what is basically an entire angsty fic, it was an amazing raed. can i ask you more stuff about these two? like how did it go from kallus pov? tell me more about his youth in the underbelly of corruscant? why doesn't he have a family :( and what does he think about jovans parents and all of their lifestyles?

HI I'M ANSWERING YOUR ASKS OUT OF ORDER BUT WE BALL (also i love you thank you so much for letting me yap)

Okay, so Kallus' upbringing is so interesting to me and I have ALOT of thoughts about it

I have a another post thats kind of about this (but it's specifically about his sister, Anya (that I made up) so you can find that here, BUT i want to get into the nitty gritty of his upbringing anyways so HERE WE GO

Kallus' father passed away in a work related accident shortly before he was born, and his mother, unable to bear the stress of a dead husband, a newborn, and Coruscanti housing prices, prompty fucks off. Kallus' older sister, Anya, who is 16 at the time, takes it upon herself to raise her baby brother.

They had lived in the mid-levels for a number of years (all of which Kallus was too young to remember), thanks to Anya taking up a ton of different jobs, but the Coruscanti housing prices rise like NOBODYS buissness and eventually they end up in the lower levels.

Although they were dirt poor (except there was no dirt because it's Coruscant) they were as happy as they could have been. Kallus was, by nature, an energetic, gritty little kid with undeniable ambition and drive, and Anya-- who at this point is more mom than sister-- worked hard so that she could give him to opprotunities he deserved.

Anya was a strong believer in getting a good education and she managed to get Kallus into the mid-level middle/high school that she had gone to (and graduated early from!) in her teen years.

Coruscanti housing prices are still rising.

Kallus gets his first job when he's 12 (they dont gaf about child labor laws) as a dishwasher at one of the diners his sister works at because the owner had a real soft spot for "the sweet girl and her skinny kid." (Eventually he gets promoted to server but that's really besides the point) ANYWAYS

So basically, teenage Kallus, who is fighting tooth and nail to get THE HEELLLLL out of the lower levels via education, has a daily schedule that looks like:

4:15 AM - Wake up

4:30 - leave the house

4:45-6:45 - take the lift up to school (do homework on the way)

7:15 - 3:00 - School

3:30 - 5:30 - take the lift down (do homework on the way)

6:00 - 11:30 - work

12:15- go to bed

Dont get it twisted though, bro had HOBBIES (which included, but were not limited to, fixing broken droids, bad graphiti, pickpocketing, going clubbing, and just kind of running around with whimsy) (All of which he would do on his singular day off per week)

So basically this man has NEVER known rest in his entire life

It's after Kallus turns 18 and graduates that his sister passes away at 33. The lower levels are polluted, the air so smogged up and toxic that nearly everyone deeper than level 2000 gets sick at some point. Anya had lived the average length of a lower-level citizen, but that didn't console Kallus whatsoever.

Landlords are assholes, and the 2 year lease on his shoebox apartments name was under ANYAs name, not his, so landlord decides that he should kick this greiving 18 year old kid to the curb so that he can bump up rent for the next person.

Kallus, as any person would, spirals. He's couch hopping, he may or may not be partaking in mind-altering substances that may or may not be considered illegal, he is losing his goddamned mind. This is his rock bottom. And he realizes that he'd better get his shit together or else he'll be stuck in the lower levels swimming in alchohol and greif for the rest of his life (which would not be long).

And then news finally gets down to the lower levels (a month after the fact) that the Republic is gone, and that the Empire has taken its place. And the Empire doesn't want a clone army anymore, no, they want people to enlist. And do you know what enlisting means???

Free room and board

So Kallus hops THE FUUUCCKKK on this opprotunity, because who wouldnt????

And when he goes to enlist, he finds out that since he went to a school in the mid-levels he's elligable to test-in to the academy. Which he does, and succeeds at.

So now he's at the academy after the most insane and miserable month of his life, and there are all these rich ASSHOLES, who have just been living up here??? In the sun??? With money??? This whole time???

So he, of course, hates them all

But then Jovan shows up.

The only real kindness Kallus had ever known had been from Anya, his sister (mom?) who devoted her entire life to ensuring that he had a better one. Other than her, everyone Kallus had ever met was after something, weather that be money, a favor, ect. So when Jovan shows up, all smiles and niceness and whatever, Kallus doesn't trust him. Eventually, though, he realizes that Jovan is kind just for the hell of it. He's kind because he can be.

So he accepts Jovans friendship.

And Jovan teaches him how to fit in. How to dress, how to talk, how to act, ect ect. It's all a bit overwelming, of course, but Kallus is glad, because at least people arent looking at him all weird in the hallways anymore.

At the end of the year he finally properly meets Jovans parents after Jovan offers to bring him on their family vacation. And goddamnit, so wonder their son is so sweet, they are too.

Jovans mom takes him shopping for new clothes to wear on vacation, she buys him lunch, and when they come back she shows him all the embarassing baby-photos of Jovan that she had stashed away.

And when they go on vacation (on Naboo, ive decided) Jovans dad tries to teach Kallus how to fish, even though Jovans dad is not good at fishing, and really just wanted to wear a fun hat and sit by the lake for a few hours. (Kallus discovers that catching fish with his bare-hands actually has a higher success rate than when he tried with the pole)

Yeah, theyre rich upper-level-ers with soft hands, and they have no idea how bad things can get down in the lower-levels (and probably never will), but they're just so goddamned sweet. They're not like the kids in his classes at the academy who made fun of his unkempt hair, or his perpetual sunburn, or the way his accent was a bit off, theyre kind.

And Jovan is kind.

It's kind of a no-brainer that Kallus fell for the guy