#also I didn't proof read

[technically-human]

Hi i'm absolutely in love with the reverse au!!

I want to know, in this verse does edwin still confesses to charles? if so how is it different? i feel if he did he would end it by apologizing, you know, religious guilt and all

There’s a train that goes through Hell.

Its journey starts in Wrath, and it departs already full of souls. It took Charles far too many years to realize that there were separate, more spacious wagons that demons could board. Not that he could understand why anyone, hellborn or not, would want to get into the damned thing. He certainly hadn’t.

Actually, Charles couldn’t recall ever boarding the train. As far as he could tell, he just appeared there one day, and had spent the next tortuous decades trying to get out. It was part of the torture. Getting out was entirely possible. More than that, it was necessary.

The train had no regular schedule that he could discern (not at first, though he had always been good at finding patterns, and was eventually able to crack it) but it would make quite a few stops before finally returning to the Wrath ring. Souls inside the train were already angry and far too close to each other (close, so close not even air could squeeze in) but when they got really violent was when the train made a stop.

Getting out didn’t mean you were free, no matter where you managed it, be it Sloth or Gluttony, Pride or Lust. No, as soon as the train finished its journey, you would appear back inside, in Wrath where you belonged, suffocating once again, getting ready to claw your way out for the millionth time.

Because if you didn’t get out, The Conductor would get you.

If he thought about it calmly, Charles could probably say that he got out of the train more times than not. Still, being caught by The Conductor once was bad enough, as there was no coal in Hell, and something had to serve as combustible. Souls could not burn to death, and the whole journey always felt longer than eternity when he was caught. Once it was over, he would be inside again, and fight with more desperation than before, not caring who stayed inside so long as it wasn’t him.

He couldn’t understand why anyone, hellborn or not, would want to get into the damned thing. He certainly hadn’t. But as the souls pushed and bit and clawed and punched their way out, Edwin boarded the train. And that wasn’t even the most groundbreaking revelation Charles had that day.

ko-fi

[dykedvonte]

wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment

Thank you and this is what I want to get across.

A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.

I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.

He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.

He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.

Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?

Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.

[necrotic-nephilim]

this is an invitation to ramble about slade/batboy ships: sladick, sladejay, sladetim, sladedami, and other batfam member/villain ships, especially jayroman and ra'stim :)

AAAAAA this is so delightful oh my god thank you. adding a read more just because this one is going to get Long to cover all the ships and all my opinions. because my god do i love Slade.

firstly, the original Robin/villain ship, SlaDick. Slade Wilson, literally created to be a Teen Titans villains, with the original Robin he cannot be normal about ever. i'm so sad there's not much interest in Slade aside from making him a generic Evil Guy who canonically likes teenagers because i think to just boil down his complex with Dick to 'weird attraction' robs them of SUCH nuance. Slade *trusts* Dick, he trusts Dick enough to ask Dick to train his own daughter Rose. and initially Slade's complex over Dick isn't sexual, it's seeing Dick as a replacement for his dead son, Grant. that's messy as hell and i love them for it. i don't think there's a single villain that has the respect for Dick that Slade has. i'm always of the opinion Dick's attraction to Slade is rooted in daddy issues and Slade's attraction to Dick is rooted in dead son issues. do i think they could end up as an old married couple? yes but only in a world where Dick is completely broken and feels alone. my favorite SlaDick flavor is post-Jason's death. Dick and Bruce are arguably at their worst during that era to begin with so Dick is pretty isolated and emotionally unstable. and Slade would take such advantage of that, swooping in to offer Dick emotional stability and fucked up sex to get out pent up emotions. (i'm big a big fan of Dick fucking out his feelings tbh) and Slade is just. this sort of bad habit Dick will kick for a year or two then come crawling back to. you can directly track how well Bruce and Dick are getting along based on how many times Dick has slept with Slade recently. and that's the prize, for Slade. knowing Dick will come back to him, eventually. it's all about patience. and if something really extreme happened to Dick (like Bruce's fake death) i think they'd even date briefly. it's not entirely impossible for Dick to date someone he disagrees with morally (see: his flings with Helena) and i think Dick would keep trying to 'save' Slade, using the upper hand he has of filling in this role of Slade's dead son to try to domesticate him. would it work? who knows but if anyone is going to try over and over, it's going to be Dick. it's practically self-harm for Dick yet the only thing keeping him sane. i love them.

SladeJay is... an interesting one for me. because i like the *potential*. but they have no significant interactions pre-Flashpoint. and while usually i can forgive New-52 and Rebirth for their grievances if it has ship fodder i just... can't do that for Jason. Judd Winick's Jason is the only Jason that exists to me so even Slade and Jason's canon interactions matter little to me because it's not the version of Jason i care for. the upside of that though, is it's more of a sandbox to explore what they could be and there are no limitations. i can just run wild. which is fun bc. you're telling me Slade wouldn't be so drawn in by the idea of a dead Robin who's come back and is now the antithesis of Bruce's morality? i think at some point Slade would want to poke the bear, really see what Red Hood is made of. do i see them working long-term? no but i do think Jason would have zero qualms working with Slade if he got something out of it. and if he could fuck with Bruce or Dick by having a short, fucked up relationship with Slade? that's even better. i don't think Slade could ever truly respect Jason, at the end of the day the Dick Grayson standard is too high and Slade would sneer at the idea of a legacy who fucked it up so bad he got blown up. but, he'd see that as Bruce's failure more than Jason's. and for Jason to have someone look him in the eye and say that Bruce *failed* him? i think that'd just *do* something to Jason. and Slade has lost a son, he knows what that loss feels like, how you feel you failed as a father. would he have interest in being fatherly to Jason? no but i think he'd have fun momentarily manipulating Jason and seeing what reactions he gets out of what jeers. Jason's been calling himself a failure this whole time, so to have someone else say it is no real big deal, but to have someone else say it's Bruce's fault and voice Jason's feelings? they'd have the most fucked up sex with the most unhealthy dirty talk that's both gentle and degrading. i don't think Jason would ever let himself get too close, he's far too emotionally guarded. but for a second, i think he'd fantasize about having even *half* the amount of attention that Slade gives Dick. bc what has Jason always been, but in Dick's shadow.

SladeTim. my two blorbos. in one place. somewhere in my drafts i have a half-started longfic about SladeTim that's one half really fucked up porn and one half slowburn feelings. arguably Tim and Slade don't have many canon interactions, but it's fun to me that when they do, Slade always seems sort of startled by how well Tim fights back and Tim's willingness to fight dirty in a way even Dick doesn't. and to me, that's the crux of this ship. as far as Robins go, Tim should sort of slip under the radar for Slade. he's not the dead one turned villain, he's not the grandson of Ra's al Ghul, hell he's not even the child of a second-rate villain like Steph, he's not *the* Dick Grayson, he's just... the other one. grew up pretty rich and normal and fell for all of Bruce's wax poetic nonsense. so when Tim puts himself on the map as a hero, makes himself a worthy opponent against Slade that's interesting. even to Tim, Slade isn't a particularly remarkable villain since Slade cares to stay more on Dick's radar. so when they cross paths there's a lot of unexpected. neither of them have thought about the other too hard. so there's this interest and intrigue about it i love. i'm a big fan of the idea Tim is a massive masochist, both physically and emotionally and Slade is The Sadist Ever so. i like them falling into bed together and having the most fucked up sex. like Tim just being a Weird Little Freak so fucked up even Slade raises an eyebrow. because this isn't what you *expect* of a kid like Tim, who's had a pretty easy life before tangling with vigilantes. he should be like a fish out of water, but instead he's matching Slade's energy in ways even Dick doesn't. and of course, how smart he is, that's an asset. it takes a special kind of kid to have the audacity to poison Lady Shiva with hotel chocolates and pull it *off* no less. it earns a begrudging respect, and it's rare to get Slade to respect someone. i really like the idea of Tim seeking Slade out only for fucked up sex and somehow Slade falls for this weird little freak who's cold and clinical outside of sex and keeps him guessing.

i'll be honest i've only considered SladeDami in the context of seeing antis say 'omg Slade has been predatory toward Damian ewww' and going 'no the fuck he hasn't but if you want that so bad i'll ship it just to spite you all' but their canon interactions do fascinate me. a lot of how they interact is predicated on Slade as a father, even more so than SlaDick. like Slade will fight Damian and then be like 'hey be good to your old man fathers need their sons' and fucking dip. and then with the whole Respawn thing and Shadow War? that was extra crunchy. for a brief moment Slade had a son who was a brother to Damian and then he goes and *dies*? talk about the complex that would give him with Damian, the spitting image of Respawn. Make Slade Weird About Batkids That Remind Him of His Son 2024. Damian holds an utter contempt for Slade that is simply unmatched. so Slade not leaving that kid alone because of his weird issues, making sure that Bruce doesn't screw up with Damian the way he screwed up with Respawn is very fun. and Damian slowly building up a tolerance to Slade's annoying antics could be fun. Damian is, at his core, still just a kid who needs the approval of something father-shaped and he will Take What He Can Get. are they ever healthy or long lasting? no but i do think Damian would cling to Slade during his teen years for something incredibly fucked up and codependent until either Slade dumped him or he forced himself to get over it.

JayRoman. i will not lie love these two but i don't think i've read many Black Mask comics when he's not interacting with Jason. which is funny because my entire conception of Roman is him just getting humiliated by Jason and really what more is there to know about the man. Jason is so unserious in how he handles Roman and the best part is you can tell it's truly because he doesn't see Roman as a threat. Roman's just a pawn in the game of getting Bruce's attention and sure, Jason is aiming to kill Roman by the end of it, but he'll always have bigger fish to fry. and that's so *infuriating* for Roman. this new guy who's *clearly* a fucking teenager shows up, owns you so badly it shatters your empire, and then you only live bc he seems to have gotten bored of you. JayRoman is my particular favorite ship for the flavor of 'the sub in bed is in control of every other aspect of their relationship and their submission is a gift that can be revoked at any time' which we don't get enough. fucked up power dynamics always have the sub being the one lacking control. and whilst i enjoy when Roman is able to absolutely control and manipulate Jason through various means, i think in canon, it makes far more sense he's pathetic and begging Jason for even a *chance*. and Jason very specifically picking who he subs for based on someone who he could kill or destroy at the drop of the hat if he needed to is a very Jason thing to do. there will never be trust between these two. they will fuck nasty and Roman will be in love with Jason. but they are both carrying a gun during sex. the gun is probably involved during the sex.

Ra'sTim. my everything. Red Robin (2009) you will always be famous to me. what *don't* they have. forced proximity. enemies to lovers. forced partnership. one-sided obsession. ridiculously large age gap. deep unforgivable betrayal. i will never evacuate these two from my brain dear god. Ra's is another one of those villains who gets painted with one broad stroke of being cartoonishly evil with no exploration of his interesting nuance. making him nothing but a villain is boring. where is the Ra's who loves so deeply and fully and has to lose his loved ones over and over and will not let that happen to Tim. he wants to consume Tim in a 'cannibalism as a metaphor for love but also probably literal cannibalism' way. the amount of trust put in Ra's in order for Tim to be able to betray him as spectacularly as he did? that's glorious. Tim had full unfiltered access to Ra's' computers even when he was advised against trusting Tim so much. and then Tim wins against Ra's and willingly lets Ra's kill him. (obviously Dick saves him, but I'm of the opinion Tim was just committed to dying in that moment and he was Okay With That) 'i will betray you if it's the last thing i do' as an act of love. Tim is to Ra's what Dick is to Slade. you will never convince me Tim and Ra's didn't hatefuck at least once during RR (2009) with a questionable level of consent. i'm so serious i will never shut up about them. the way Tim talks about working with Ra's as if he's making a deal with the devil and Ra's talks about Tim like he's the precious, once in a life time thing, one of the only people worthy to produce an heir for Ra's. how's that not gay. what other ship involved one of them literally trying to have the other's baby to raise as an heir. Ra's would probably carry the baby himself if he could. memes aside they're just so. they're so it. i love when Tim is forced into a Situation where he has to work with Ra's and confronts the darker aspects of himself that Ra's wants to bring out but Tim wants to squash. it is The corruption kink. whether Ra's succeeds or not in corrupting Tim doesn't even matter because the real crux of this ship is the chase. it's the way the heart pounds when they reach out for each other and you don't know if it's for a kiss or a killing blow. it's very Hannigram to me, in that i don't even need or want them to kiss to know they're in love. love to them is not true love's kiss, it's the thoughtful place they decide to stab the other in. be the sheath to my dagger type ship. hold all this bloody violence i know you're capable of inside of you. let me cut the violence out of you ship. what more can you ask for from a ship. Ra's would tie Tim down and torture him both as foreplay and as a love language and Tim would be too fucked up and self-sacrificial to stop him. always playing the dangerous game of how far will the other let them go until someone tries to die or kill. listen i think i lost the plot here but my point is they're unwell about each other. Tim will make Ra's regret the day he met Tim Drake not just for the betrayal but because Ra's can never go back to a time Before Tim. before knowing what the chase felt like. they're so. them.

[mx24]

NOELLE CHRIST MASTERPOST

taken straight from a reblog i made, here are various things and imagery in and out of game that displays Noelle Holiday's correlation to Jesus Christ.

CW: Weird Route and Christianity.

to start, just off of her personality, Noelle very much has a martyr complex. constantly giving her own comfort up for other's.

she abides her mother's wishes and cannot say no, she gives herself over to Queen willingly to save Berdly, she pushes her own feelings down and hides them to keep other's from worrying.

much of the characters in Deltarune do this kind of stuff too, however, Noelle's also got a lot of other things that lends directly to her Christ theme.

like her name.

Noelle is the feminine form of Noel, which translates to Christmas. the birthday of Jesus Christ, n all that. Holiday also fits.

also, her appearance.

she's got golden hair, which is a relatively common, yet incorrect portrayal of Jesus.

her antlers have an intentional shape, too; they resemble crosses.

her robes in the Dark World are plain and white. people often attribute this to it being a "snow angel" joke, which it is, but miss out on how it also resembles the stereotypical white robes Jesus is oft depicted in.

near the end of the Normal Route too, we also see Noelle posed exactly in a crucifix position. (the blue hand may as well be alluding to the Weird Route.)

so. as for the Weird Route.

the route itself, the way it plays is suspiciously similar to Jesus' final moments before his own crucifixion, but i'm going to gloss over that mostly in favor of directly visible canonical info. of which is this.

the Thorn Ring, or as Spamton phrases it, "[Ring] of [Thorns]" is a word for word parallel to the Crown of Thorns. the crown was an object of mockery created by the Romans and placed upon Christ's head right before his crucifixion.

... i know i said i wasn't gonna talk about it, but i think it's fair to mention how Kris, a trusted friend of Noelle's, is the one to "betray" her and "sell her out" (Dark Dollars for the ring) in the same way Judas Iscariot, trusted disciple of Christ, sells him out in trade for silver. they are also possessed by the Player, which in one of the Gospels it is said Judas was possessed by the Devil.

now for canonical information outside of the game.

in the Spamton Sweepstakes, particularly Icepalace-Glaceir, the room of which she explores in Dragon Blazers is icy, and more importantly, cross-shaped.

it being an ice area and shaped like that is, i would say, an intentional detail.

ehhhh alright. this is all i can think of off the top of my head, but this girl is a certified Christ Figure.

[cryptidcorners]

Wilderness — Mike Schmidt x GN!Reader

Description: Mike had only took this job for a few reasons: To watch his sister in some cheap, rural camp in the middle of nowhere and to repay the dollars he spent; even if the money was low.

You were acquainted as a partnering counselor, much to your dismay — he didn't take his job seriously unless his sister was involved and you questioned his methods of responsibility; until you both get lost and he brings himself to help you despite everything.

# No Request

# A.N: finally completed this wooo!! enjoy

Media: FNaF [Movie]

Character: Mike Schmidt

Tags: Counselors, Headcanons/Imagines Mixed In, Grumpy Mike, Fluff, Cute Stuff, Bantering/Flirting, Comfort, Friends/Slight Rivals to ? ? ?, Slight Romantic Implications [ Reader is a little Love Sick] , Slow Burn (?) + Reader is GN! Warnings: Slight Blood/Injury

TOS. Mike Schmidt Masterlist

⫸ Mike had only gotten this job because his little sister would be in the same camp. He had struggled to scrape up enough money to get a decent place to spend her vacation and he didn't trust her being alone in the middle of nowhere. Additionally, he also needed work to pay back his spendings.

⫸ He wasn't even that experienced, especially with kids; which was why he was paired with you who had spent about three summers in this dump of a camp.

⫸ As dull as Mike was, he wasn't too shabby in teaching or guiding some of the campers. Sure, he picked favorites (his sister) but he wasn't the worst counselor you had seen. Mike just wanted to get this over with and you could understand that — it was unbearable once you stayed long enough.

⫸ He was stubborn though. Mike was introverted, yes, but he was also really snarky and a little disrespectful at times. You knew he didn't mean anything cruel, he was just blunt; but you couldn't handle it. Just because he was your co-worker didn't stop you two from being frenemies.

Pink sun spots slowly rustled across the grass as the wind whistled through the branches. The clouds were red with the dying sun, slowly falling behind the light horizon; the sky rich with a kaleidoscopic display of luminous colors and gentle breezes.

You would have been enjoying the simplicity of a sunset if Mike hadn't fumbled with the map tightly gripped between his hands and throwing you both off track.

Of course, he had assured he knew the way back but you had been walking in circles for ages. You stopped walking, legs already growing sore. "Look, your trail obviously isn't working." Your arms fell to your sides, your eyes fell to a jagged stone. ". . . And I've seen that rock at least two times."

Mike whipped his head towards your landmark and blinked. "No, that's not—" his face flushed at the realization that maybe, just maybe, he had seen the rock too. Still, he stammered "It's a completely different rock," and waved the page around, trying to make a point. "Don't bullshit." You protested.

You walked over and snatched the map from his hands. Mike didn't pull up much of a fight, only mumbling and releasing a weak: "Fine." Mike didn't like feeling stupid, but he wanted to get back to camp and forget this whole day happened.

You matched forward with a slightly commanding: "This way," which he reluctantly obeyed. For the whole walk, Mike was silently poking his eyes on a stained piece of paper; anytime he was fixated on something, he did it — no time for chit chat or breaks. You ignited some conversation, "Why'd you come to a camp if you hate it so much?"

You were surprised that he answered. "My sister was begging me to go. So I spent months saving, but this was the only affordable camp I could get." He sighed, "I didn't trust her being in the forest with strangers."

You were fond of his compassion, "That's nice of you."

"Yeah, but it's still torture. My body feels like it's on fire. How do you handle this?" He swatted the air, trying to fend off a consistent buzzing. "I'm never doing this again that's for sure."

"Money is a pretty big motive. Also I like nature in general, it's better than something boring." You pulled through a bush that snagged your skin, you grunted as you kicked away from the thorns. "Shit, anyway. Yeah, it's a pain but it's fun too."

"We're night and day." He humored lightly, then his eyes flickered rapidly. Gritting through his teeth, Mike grabbed your shoulder. "Dude, your leg."

"What? Oh — Oh, God." Scarlet dripped down leg, pouring from an open cut. It must have been from the bush. "It's fine."

"What? It can get infected, we're almost at camp aren't we?" You didn't understand why he was so concerned, you two were barely friends. It was just a cut, nothing you hadn't suffered from before. He continued, "I can patch you up if you want."

"It's nothing, Like." You assured. Though, it was starting to hurt but you didn't need any help.

Mike awkwardly extended his hand, "You helped us back, it's the least I could do." he frowned at your silence. "At least let me help you walk back, I don't want to see you limp the whole time."

Reluctantly, you let him. Walking on a cut like that wouldn't end up well and besides you found it oddly endearing how soft he was. His face flushed, "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Had you been staring at him? "Sorry." You could hear him giggle, "It's fine."

There was something boyish about him and you wondered if he was the same man you had met the first week.

Entering the infirmary, he set you down. You didn't argue with letting him help, wrapping a cut wouldn't be the end of the world and he looked like he knew what he was doing. You pursed your lips lightly, "Thanks for the help by the way."

The sting of alcohol rubbing against the blood oozed a veil of light pain through your body. Then his hands grew busy wrapping your leg, "It's nothing. Besides, you helped us get back. I know I'm stubborn sometimes and everything, so I'm sorry for being a bit of a dick."

You tilted your head, "Looks like you had a change of heart." he scratched the back of his neck. You trailed on, "I kinda like seeing this side of you, I mean, I didn't expect you to be . . . Well, nice."

Mike dropped his head, eyes cupped with guilt. "I'm just not good with meeting new people."

"That's fair." You leaned back, muscles relaxing. You studied the rural interior of the infirmary, checkered with aging wood and relics starting to rot with age. Cobwebs edged the corners and you could inhale enough dust to send you into a coughing fit, not the best place to get patched in that's for sure.

Your eyes flickered to his longing gaze, "Something wrong?"

"No, sorry. I got lost in my thoughts," he declared. "Can you stand?"

You slid off the stool and applied pressure which prompted you to stumble. Luckily you caught and dug into his arm. "Still hurts a little bit."

"We can wait here." He suggested shyly. "I mean, I can go."

You folded your arms. "No, I want you to stay."

"Really?"

"You seem fun."

He fumbled with his hands before chuckling lightly, you could get used to this sunny side of him.

[deservedgrace]

Further conversation on that "how do you feel about people saying 'I'll pray for you'" poll I reblogged a bit ago:

A part of big reason I'm so uncomfortable with it is that at my church it was frequently used as a way to shut people up. Sometimes it was genuine, but a lot of times it was not said to mean "I'm thinking about you" or other sentiments like that. It was used as a way to weasel out of any kind of emotional support and to get you to stop talking while also showing off how ~holy~ and ~righteous~ they are.

"I'll pray for you" is the end of the conversation and can be implemented at nearly any point for that purpose. Because if you're anything but oh so grateful that someone will take the time and effort to pray for you, it raises eyebrows about if you're really a true Christian that trusts God and believes in the transformative power of prayer. It's a way for the person offering prayers to subtly (sometimes) brag about how pious they are, how connect to God they are, how good of a Christian they are, and the way the person responds indicates how good of a Christian they are, and they know it. Wanting human emotional support over God's? Suspicious at best.

And after doing all that, after shutting people down, not offering emotional support, subtly (or not so subtly) showing off how pious and committed to God they are, a lot of people don't even actually do it. I don't believe that prayer does anything, but many of the people that do believe prayer is effective and can help you and shut you down for the purpose of it don't even fucking pray for you. That sounds like I'm assuming what people are or aren't doing in their private time, but it was enough of an issue in my old church that we talked about it and had sermons about it.

If the context of someone saying "I'll pray for you" is after them providing emotional support and demonstrating that they actually care, I can't lie, it does sour the interaction for me, but I'm generally able to let it slide even if it makes me uncomfortable. But so often the context is people trying to use "I'll pray for you" in the place of actual emotional support instead of supplementing it, and those are very different things.

[feuqueerfire]

The Categories of Final Hallucinations

I noticed 2 types of visions that the characters had in the last episode, specifically in regards to Non

Non was front and center and the visions are about him

Phee: He kept continually seeing Non die in different ways, including some which were new and unseen ways. He's grieving Non's death and also feels guilty for what he's said (the "Get lost and die"). Phee was also the only person who understood that these were visions and Non wasn't real. Even in the 2 years later part (which may or may not be real - tbh I'm thinking of it as a continuation of the hallucinations in the courtyard), Phee sees Non walking into the water.

Tee: Non asks Tee to kill him with a knife on the rooftop because he’s so trapped while working for Tee’s uncle. Tee has been feeling guilty about his actions bringing Non into this world and ultimately being unable to get him out of the mess, so this manifests as a horrific way to help Non, though of course he ends up stabbing White in reality :’(

Tan: Non thanks him, then hangs himself, then thanks him again. Tan just wanted to be a good brother and in these hallucinations, after he has avenged Non, he finally is. His last vision is Non thanking him and walking into the light.

Non may or may not be there but it's mostly about their own situations/consequences/fears rather than Non

Fluke: Non is hardly there except at the end, Fluke's mostly being chased by a cop because he's deathly afraid of ruining his reputation and not getting to become a doctor. Aside: I loved that Fluke gouged his own eyes out, the eyes with which he was constantly witnessing the misbehavior against Non (Top breaking the camera, Jin taking the video) but keeping silent about

Top: He was just being chased by Non through the woods, very little depth because we hardly knew anything about him

White: he never knew Non and so his visions are about his relationship with Tee instead

Jin: I don't think Non even appeared in this but I'd have to double check. It was mostly about what if what Jin did to Non happened to Jin himself with him seeing people taking videos of him in compromising situations, including with Keng

For me, Tee's was the most shocking and horrifying because I was expecting death for Tee (especially after episode 11) but there was the vibe that maybe White is the final girl who will survive. Instead, my mouth fell open as soon as I realized what they were hinting at and I lost my mind as the sequence went on. One of the most unpredictable aspects of this whole show for me and it really is tearing me up, esp after ep 11.

Tan's and Phee's are the most tragic. I didn't cry at all during this show but for a second there, during Tan's visions, I became misty-eyed. (also I've been typing Tan as Non and having to correct... I think NewTan would like that tbh)

I think Jin's was the most disappointing to me because although he knows his actions to release that video were wrong and likely feels guilty, I was hoping Non would at least make an appearance? When Jin apologized to Non the day Non disappeared, Non didn't know what he was apologizing for and said Jin didn't have to apologize. I wanted Jin to apologize to Non while admitting to his wrongdoings, even if it's in hallucinations. Instead, it's Jin being paranoid about what he did to Non being done to him.

[Edited because the Tee/White scene did a whole number on me so I got a bit confused about their visions when I first posted this right after watching the ep]

[xysible]

Swap!Eccentrics' Origin cards!

[ s!War Era lore below cut <3 (keep in mind i haven't read Altered or the original stories, so this is all based off of Element & the few anime episodes)]

Ex Fine: > Tatsumi, Himeru, Mao, Rei

5 Eccentrics > Nagisa, Rinne, Mayoi, Leo, Sora

Bystanders (they're important i swear) > Tsumugi, Arashi

= = = = =

Trigger/Content Warnings: - Mentions of violence - Suicidal thoughts; mentioned/implied suicide attempt

= = = = =

In the beginning, the need of a reform in the school was both Himeru and Tatsumi's idea. Tatsumi was the one to actually attempt to do much about it though, roping Himeru, and later Mao and Rei into it. He ends up as leader of ex fine and the one to draft up the idea of the Eccentrics. Both Himeru and Mao were somewhat involved in that, like how c!Tsumugi was. The original 3 were supposed to be Nagisa, Rinne, and Leo.

Himeru was the one to suggest Sora.

Sora was... a bit of an outcast. He came into his first year and was pretty quickly alienated and was bullied by a lot of the students. He's found by Hinata later on. The two quickly become best friends and Hinata gets people to back off on bullying Sora. They form Ra*bits, one of the few units from the school at the time.

Sora was known to be good at what he does, just a little odd. Himeru chose him for that reason, although he wasn't aware of the bullying the kid had to deal with.

Mao suggests Mayoi, after accidentally finding the Secret Room.

Mayoi spent a lot of time in that room and Mao didn't even know he existed until then. He used the room as his little corner and it was full to the brim with stuff he made, particularly, outfits and dioramas. Mao was impressed, and he felt that Mayoi could probably be a good candidate.

= = =

The first Eccentrics meeting went... interesting. Rinne and Leo fought, Nagisa tried to mediate while trying to help the rather scared Sora and Mayoi. The two didn't stop bickering until they realized they made Sora cry and were like "oh shit."

They eventually warmed up to each other, though, becoming a bit of a family.

Most of them were unaware that they were about to be vilified by fine.

= = =

The first to go down was Sora. Well... technically Hinata.

As the student body got more hostile against the Eccentrics, they decided to target the person they were kind of already targeting before this whole thing. They saw the fact that pretty much no one was doing anything as confirmation that this was okay.

The Ra*bits duo were attacked in the hallways one day. Hinata was injured the most, Sora being pulled away by some of the other Eccentrics as they tried to stop the fighting. They succeeded, but too late. Hinata is later hospitalized and the Eccentrics learn he's in a coma.

Sora is distraught and basically pulls a Shu. He starts talking in 3rd person around here, as a way to distance "himself" from the person who was unable to save his best friend from the people who were after "him" originally.

= = =

Himeru and Rei are furious at Tatsumi for not stepping in before things go that bad. Himeru shouts at Tatsumi and breaking off their friendship. He blamed Tatsumi for being both the indirect cause of Hinata's hospitalization and the person encouraging the students to be this violent.

= = =

Mayoi is desperate to fix all of this and stop the harassment they're getting. He feels this whole thing is unjust. He pulls a Natsume, basically, as well as disappearing soon after Sora.

= = =

One of the people watching this whole thing unfold changes their opinions on the Eccentrics and Fine. Tsumugi, who had overheard Himeru and Tatsumi's argument, reaches out to the Eccentrics a little after the Incident, offering to help them.

Nagisa, figured out what Tatsumi was doing, tells Tsumugi it. At this point, the other Eccentrics are unaware, although Rinne and Leo are sort of suspicious about what Nagisa knows. Tsumugi ends up helping Sora and Mayoi as the chaos in the school gets worse around them.

= = =

The final battle against the Eccentrics and Fine happens, and Leo is chosen to be the one who fights against Fine. Nagisa tells him a week before all of this happens. Leo agrees to loose on purpose despite Rinne's protests. Mayoi shows up for the live, but Sora doesn't.

= = =

Going back to the beginning, Mao was originally intrigued when he learned about the three original Eccentrics. He brought up how he wasn't sure they would get along.

Nagisa was known to be a "god" of sorts and was highly respected. People knew about his connection to the Godfather and all.

Rinne was known as a clown, a person who was painted as "the eccentric outsider" when he first came to the school and have just been acting how people expect him to be.

Leo was known to be a genius composer and he was someone Mao admired a lot. Mao wasn't super sure about how this whole thing was going to go down, and he wasn't sure how he would feel about seeing Leo defeated. He didn't want to hurt him, but he felt like Leo could handle it, so he let it happen.

This leads up to the last live. Rei and Himeru are well ready to leave, but Mao is unsure. He's.. unaware he's being dismissed after that live. Leo gives Mao a little talk and enough confidence to get through that live.

Leo and his partner, Tsukasa, loose, and the War ends.

= = =

After the last live, Tatsumi is distraught. He pushed away Mao out of fear, feeling like what Himeru and Rei said were right and he doesn't feel deserving of a "hero" title some of the students have given him. He doesn't feel deserving of being student council leader. He doesn't feel deserving of being an idol.

He would've ended it all on that rooftop if Arashi hadn't been on there at the time and stopped him.

= = =

Arashi, another neutral bystander like Tsumugi was, had seen the whole thing unfold. She, originally, was against Fine after seeing what they let the student body do to Hinata. She later learns that, despite the rumors of the argument between Himeru and Tatsumi, it wasn't planned. They didn't want to do that, but Tatsumi was afraid that if he stopped them from doing whatever, the revolution wouldn't be successful.

She forgives Tatsumi for what he did and convinces him that he's worth something, still.

= = = = =

Other stuff:

Leo and Mao later find each other and start up Ryusetai

Arashi and Tatsumi are the original members of new Fine. Shu and Hajime join later on

Yuuta comes in the next year, posed at Hinata. Sora catches on almost instantly but they promised to make it work. Ra*bits is revived and gain two new members, Aira and Tori.

Because of Rei having been through the War, he's able to do more effective damage control when the Reimei revolt happens.

Himeru leaves to Reimei as well, later forming 2wink with Kaname

A bunch of the ages have been changed for this, uhhh I'm not really sure on many of them though lmao

if you wanna see more of this au, go check out @enswap :3

[melancholic-pigeon]

Okay this is the *actual* last comment, for real, but I just found out Spider is now smearing me as a convert and accusing me of being involved with drama I was not involved with because he mistakenly attributed my apologies for his public temper tantrum as being about something unrelated.

THIS IS A FALSE ACCUSATION and I do not appreciate having yet another bit of fake malicious intent falsely ascribed to my actions and* attributing a completely unrelated attack to me.

Also, it's very sad and disappointing whenever a Jew gets mad at a convert because something else is going on in the Jew's life and the convert happens to be in the splash zone and the Jew falls over backwards to smear the convert and invalidate her faith.

Just....the childish aggression is making me so, so sad and disappointed, from someone I used to think very highly of, who is now lying about me and publicly smearing me with false accusations based on a conflict he started because he misinterpreted something I said and I went out of my way to give him the benefit of the doubt when trying to clear up the mistake HE MADE that led him to decide bullying and attacking me for three fucking days was appropriate and okay and that I'm the bad guy for saying it's wildly unprofessional to behave like this in public to a former customer face.

Sorry, but facts, reality, linear time and the truth of what I actually said and did are on my side here, and I will not stand for being smeared and attacked and shat all over because I had the gall to try to kindly resolve his uncalled for, unjustified temper tantrum.

I am also not sorry that I left a side note in the tags that it was also unacceptable for HIM to drag his daughter into a stupid internet slapfight based on his own reading comprehension failure. Because it was and is unacceptable, and she needs to hear that message from someone.

End of story. Keep digging that hole as long as you like, Spider. It's not helping your case and is continuing to make you look progressively worse and more unreasonable, and the only person you have to blame is yourself.

*revised for clarity

[goldenpinof]

wait what even counts as a demon phannie anymore? Bc it used to be the tinhatters who truly believed they were together but now that they've made it...you know...pretty obvious they are, I'm not sure what's considered "demon" behavior anymore

idk, people who ask dnp personal questions about their relationship directly? maybe that's a line i'd draw today, mostly because it's just annoying. like, it's not a crime, but just... why.

since dnp are together, the whole old definition doesn't make sense. but i guess, what people do with the fact that dnp are together still can divide us into groups?

fyi, i don't consider pointing out "they are touching" a demon behaviour. i saw someone trying to claim that it was (during gamingmas or spooky week). and whoever it was, fuck you. dnp know what they are doing. we're all collectively just having fun. phannies should be studied. if you think about what we post and how we phrase things for too long, you're gonna go mental. there's so much sarcasm and jokes in it. and some people are trying to weaponise it against us. sad, but honestly? i don't really care.

[sysig]

You’re gonna die if you keep that up (Patreon)

[indigo-flightly-falls]

It's a Quarter After One, I'm All Alone and I Need Someone

My gift to @staringamassivemistakeintheface for the MCYT Valentines Day Exchange :D (@mcyt-valentines)

---------------

Characters: Ren & Skizz

Ships: renskizz (focus), poly dogwarts (background)

Summary: (Newsies AU) The night after the failed protest and subsequent beating the newsies took, Ren confronts Skizz on a fire escape and they talk about stuff.

Trigger warnings: mentioned/discussed period typical homophobia (in the context of Ren's family pressuring him into marrying a girl), brief mentions of police brutality (talking about a past event), smoking.

Ao3 link: It's a Quarter After One, I'm all Alone and I Need Someone - Stars_In_Our_Paws - 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series [Archive of Our Own]

--------

"Alright, Sparrow, can you move your leg?"

Ren and Racetrack were currently helping Sparrow figuring out how bad his leg had gotten hurt during the raid.

"King, I walked back to here, I think I can move my leg." Sparrow sassed, his tongue sticking out to distract himself from the pain.

"That doesn't mean you can currently move it." Ren pointed out, raising his eyebrow. "Move it now, or I'll tell Bumlets that you're making your leg worse."

"Threats aren't fair." Sparrow grumbled, but he complied. He was able to move his leg a bit, but it clearly was hurting him. "Fuck this." He hissed, leaning back into Racetrack's arms. "I'm not listening to you."

"Alright, I'm not helping you if you won't listen." Ren threw his hands up, knowing Sparrow would rather listen to Racetrack anyways.

Ren stood up, stretching by reaching his hands to the sky. The lodging house was bustling, but it was quieter then normal. The beating they'd taken had been a blow, and even worse was Crutchie being taken and Jack unable to be found.

He took a small walk towards the windows leading up to Jack's 'penthouse', which was what he called the top of the fire escape.

Ren noticed a figure on the lower fire escape, almost thinking for a second it was Racetrack due to the smoke trails, before realizing with a shock that it was Skizz. And then he felt a bit silly because he could hear Racetrack berating Sparrow for stressing his bad leg.

Skizz had never smoked before. Ren wanted to figure out what was up.

Ren climbed out the window, taking a breath of the air, tinted with smoke. Skizz had his back to Ren, staring out at the city below.

"Hey, come here much?"

Skizz turned his head towards Ren, before looking back out at the city's lights.

"King, you know the answer." Skizz answered, not smiling like he usually did. He took another drag of the cigar, probably stolen from Racetrack.

"Drop the title please, you know I'm Ren to you guys." Ren walked over to lean on the railing next to Skizz, looking at the smoke trails.

"Yeah, but you're the king of the five of us."

Ren pulled Skizz into a side hug, leaning his head onto his boyfriend's.

"I like being just Ren around you guys."

Skizz huffed a laugh, rolling his eyes. "You picked the nickname King, you dug your own grave."

Ren gently punched him in the side for that, before the two of them drifted into quiet.

It was nice, after the day they'd had. Skizz had new bruises on his face, and Ren had bloodstained bandages on his wrist. It was the price they paid.

"How's Etho?" Skizz broke the silence, looking worried for his partner. Ren just sighed.

"You know how they are. They pretend not to care, but they care deeply 'bout everybody in this lodging house. Crutchie getting taken's shattered their confidence."

"Should I go check on them?"

Ren shook his head, exhaling. "Hand and B are with them."

Skizz nodded, still looking worried. "I'm glad they're not alone. Is everybody else okay?"

Ren made a so-so motion with his hand. "We're all bruised up, Les's arm is bothering him and Sparrow's leg flared up again, but we got away pretty good considering it was the bulls."

"I suppose it's better then it could be."

"Yeah." Ren agreed.

Once again the two drifted off into a easy quiet, knowing neither of them had much to say. They just watched the city together, as Skizz periodically exhaled a bit of smoke.

Ren used the time to reflect on his choices in the day, trying to figure out if he could've stopped Crutchie from getting taken.

"You know," Skizz started suddenly, "It's kinda funny how many formerly middle class or wealthy people are here."

When Ren raised his eyebrow, Skizz continued to explain.

"Well there's you, Sparrow, Nipper, Racetrack, Etho, Martyn, and probably at least one other." Skizz counted off on his hand. Ren just chuckled in amusement, with the smallest amount of bitterness mixed in.

"Yeah, and of course I'm the only one who gets badgered to come back home."

"Got another letter this morning?" Skizz questioned, evidently remember how downcast and angry Ren had been as they walked out of the lodging house.

"Yep." Ren said, stressing the 'p'. "They said they had a 'nice perfect girl' picked out for me, and if I went home and married her, they'd forget about my 'transgressions'." He growled the last word out, making fists with his hands.

"Ah, that's what got you upset?" Skizz asked, leaning against the wall.

Ren nodded, leaning onto his left hand while his right hung over the balcony.

"That sucks. They really are just pushing you to get married to a girl, aren't they?" Skizz asked, knowing exactly where Ren came from and what was at stake.

"I get caught in the Bowery once, and they all take it as a hint I'm gay." Ren held his finger up, shaking it. He then sighed.

"You are, though." Skizz said with a knowing smile.

"Yeah, but I don't want them to know that." Ren said, hanging his head.

"People are stupid." Skizz commented staring off into space.

"Yeah." Ren laughed in agreement, smiling at Skizz. "I'm glad this place is at least open-minded enough to let us be together quietly."

"I mean, nobody talks about it, but there's the five of us, Racetrack and Sparrow have something going on, same with Blink and Mush. Crutchie has eyes for Jack, both Etho and Cosmo have been accepted as, quote, 'not a girl, not a boy, but space', and Racetrack's been pretty open about being born a girl, so..." Ren continued, listing off the many queer people in the lodging house.

"I don't know how this specific group of newsies is so gay." Skizz laughed, finally putting the cigar down.

"Yeah, but I guess if I have to die because of who I am, I'm glad I'll be dyin' with youes." Ren told him with a smile, showing off his pointed teeth.

"Don't say that!" Skizz cried playfully, pushing Ren to the side. "We're gonna live for years together!"

"I know, I know!" Ren laughed, just glad he had gotten Skizz's spirit up again.

The two of them fell into the same silence they always seemed to, just enjoying the night and each other. They linked their hands, watching the stars twinkle in the sky and tried to ignore how they should've been hearing the sound of two bodies above them.

Ren looked into Skizz's eyes, finding the exact same thing he was thinking.

'I'm so glad I met you'

Ren leaned into his side, feeling Skizz press a quick kiss onto his forehead.

This was nice.

[edgydroned]

drabble + oil

send drabble + a word and i'll write something

what a confusing week. from the eldritch j horror show starring 'dead parents' to finding out your classmate has a body count, to finding out she can move things at the wave of her hand. it was a lot to process to say the least. she felt something of a relief when her dad was finally willing to give her some answers on her mom and her past; CAMP 98.7. it was a lead, something that would hopefully give more details about her mom, or this absolute solver, or whatever the hell doll was up to.

she was making preparations for the trip, only packing the essentials ( which isn't much.) only a flashlight, some batteries, and audio entertainment.

her purple eyes in her visor squint unsurely, turning around to give her bedroom one last look around for anything that could be of use. nothing immediately pops out to her at first, until something highlights in her systems. laid out on her desk, doll's 048 bracelet, with her house key attached. there's hesitance in her steps, reaching out for it for... some reason. she holds it in her hand, running her smooth digits along the grooves of the jewelry all the way down to the key.

something was telling her to go back. an unseen force (perhaps curiosity ?) beckoning her to return to the oily, horrific scene of dismembered drones. she'd say it was of her own FREE WILL, that she's choosing to go back for more clues. ignoring the fact her and the others nearly tore the place apart hoping to find something; wouldn't hurt to check again, right ?

the door swipes open, dragging her feet as she walks warily through, careful not to step on any stray roaches they may linger. naturally, her attention is drawn to the CORPES parents, hollowed eyes stare at them before shaking away; making an effort to avoid their hollow gazes for the time being. she draws near the kitchen, hand rests on the frame of the room as she cranes her neck around the corner. she slowly scans the room, once again taking in the carnage left by her classmate.

again, something was calling to her.

⚠︎ 𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶: 𝙷𝙸𝙶𝙷 𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙿 ⚠︎

the system warning blinds her vision, feeling a sudden building in temperature rise within her entire body. she keels over, wincing in pain as she clutches her face and chest; groaning in agony whilst trying not to completely collapse to the ground. she clenched herself securely, smoking emitting from her as it seemed the growing temperature was only getting worse. she had to get rid of it. make it stop. stop. STOP.

crashing to her hands and knees, heaving as she uses all her strength to look around for something to make it stop. she crawls... she doesn't know where to.... she's simply listening to what her body is asking of her.

as metallic limbs scrape along the floor, the system warning minimizes from her screen briefly, finally giving her something of her vision back. when it returns, she's sat in a pool of spilled oil. what happens next, is once again, her simply listening to her own body. for a moment, there's quiet. her body seeming to calm down at the mere sight of the oil if only for a few seconds.

she stares down at her oil stained hands, processing for a moment much like she did that night. and much like before, there is even little resistance to the idea, as she feels her body temperature rising once more. wincing again, she has little time to consider to moral wrongs of all this. before she could let any GUILTY weigh on her, she begins engorging on the pool spilled before her.

...

her body temp normalizes, the bizarre pain that etched inside her subsided. it was over.

no. no it wasn't. she could still feel it inside her. something inside her CRAVED more. it wasn't as dire as a few minutes ago, but she knew it would return. drenched in an inky black mess, she finally stands.

purple hues scan the room, highlighting dismembered arms and legs that were coated in oil. blinking down at her hands again, then to those that belong to the DEAD. she can't risk being immobilized at the camp, they needed answers. she needs answers. what's the harm in taking a few for the road ?

[starfish-sonnyangel]

!! major aurora's end spoilers !!

this might just be peak delusion but in auri's flashback thingy with her sister in the echo, she says callie looks like she’s around her mid-thirties which would be the age she was in 2177, the year fin/scar/zila time travel to in aurora's end (i’m assuming she was around 15/16 when auri left for octavia in 2160, making callie in her early 30s in 2177). that could be why fin/scar/zila were sent back in time to such a specific date, because that eshavren crystal that transported them there was mentally connected w auri OK THE MORE IM EXPLAINING IT THE LESS ITS MAKING SENSE but ur catching my drift right. OR the reason auri mentally went to a time where callie was such a specific age was bc of scar/fin/zila’s time travel. i cant decide which is the dependent variable and which is the independent but i feel like there’s smth here.

[happyminyards]

Titanic Myths and Misconceptions, pt2.

[part 1, feat.  "not enough lifeboats", "untrained crew", "no lifeboat drills" and "speeding & ignoring ice warnings", here]

"The Titanic lowered lifeboats half filled"

Now this is true! Here's a breakdown of which lifeboats went down when and with how many people in them (approximately, since we’re not sure on some and the last two literally washed off the deck). However, this is often framed in two ways: Titanic's officers were inexperienced and thus couldn't load the boats fully in time (we already covered this) or Titanic's officers were stopping men and third class passengers from entering.

Reality is once again more complicated than that. To make one thing clear, yes, Officer Lightoller was specifically not allowing men in via the boat deck, apart from crew members who were needed to work the boats. 

This stems from him interpreting Smith's "put the women and children in and lower away" order as "women and children only", while Murdoch interpreted it as "women and children first". Since the Birkenhead Drill was not a law but rather chivalric code that got implemented in different ways (or sometimes not at all), no interpretation can really be deemed as "wrong".

Now, Lightoller also indicated that he didn't consider loading the boats full before they were in the water as safe, mainly worrying about the strain on the construction. While Titanic's lifeboats were actually tested completely filled during her drills and Lightoller was aware of them, he was basically pulling on his years of experience at sea where lowering fully loaded lifeboats often resulted in tragedy. We don't know if Murdoch, who was in charge of the lifeboats on the other side of the ship, had the same reservations since he (probably, it's debated whether it was him or Wilde) shot himself before the ship went down.

And before people start vilifying Lightoller, he and the rest of the crew were actually planning on loading the lifeboats from the gangways down below. Besides seemingly being safer, this would avoid crowding on the boat deck and give folks who were down below a fighting chance. The crew thought the boat was going down in about an hour, that would not be enough time for all the 2nd and 3rd class passengers who largely occupied the lower decks to find their way up. Lightoller specifically sent down crew men to open the doors (which did happen almost everywhere, though the crew probably drowned or got trapped while doing so). We also have Boxhall saying that Smith was ordering boats to come back and load from the gangways during the sinking, which is also backed up by survivors. Now, this didn't happen. Why? Some boats were scared of being swamped (even after the ship went down), some thought they needed to get away quickly to avoid being sucked under water when the Titanic actually went down or being damaged by another boat. This actually almost happened, lifeboat 13 almost had lifeboat 15 lowered on their head when they had to row to the side to avoid water being released by a condenser exhaust.

But the crew were always planning on filling the boats up fully to their best ability, and as safely as possibly.

There's also the issue that especially at the start of the sinking no one wanted to get into the goddamn boats. Titanic's impact wasn't super dramatic, the damage she received was actually ridiculously small, only around 12-13 square feet/1.1-1.2 square meters. It took them awhile to figure out whether Titanic was actually sinking, since they needed to go down and see exactly where the damage was located (see the green lines here). 

The only reason she sank is that the damage was spread over six watertight compartments. Freak bad luck.

But this also meant that Titanic sank very evenly and calmly for almost two hours. People frankly just did not think she was going down, and were understandably reluctant to get into tiny boats to be lowered into the ice cold, pitch black ocean when the big liner seemed so much safer. Some even went up to the boat deck, saw the boats, and decided to go back down to their cabins. 

Additionally, people were reluctant to be separated from their families, which is understandable enough. The officers however, as I said, thought she was going down in about an hour and would probably capsize violently (that was Thomas Andrews', the chief designer's, estimate), so lowering the boats quickly was their priority, even if they were not filled. 

Better to lower two boats quickly than to spend half an hour convincing people to get into one, because boats in the water could at least pick people up or load them from the gangways or water, while boats still chained on deck would go down with the ship (and they really had no time to spare, they didn’t even manage to launch the last two boats).

"Titanic's third class passengers were locked down below"

Now the third class passengers being locked down below is a combination of issues. For one, there were waist-high gates that locked off third class. These were there due to US immigration regulations. We also know that a lot of them were opened once the ship started going down (see testimonies linked below), though of course there is the possibility that they didn't get to all of them in time. 

The testimony most often cited (and probably also used by Cameron as inspiration) is that of Daniel Buckley. He woke up due to "a terrible noise", immediately stepped into water, and decided that this was Not Good (which not everyone did, so good for him). His cabin is in the bow, so one of the first to be flooded. 

He goes outside, encounters two sailors that shout "All up on deck! Unless you want to get drowned!". He also testifies that he went up on deck, then back down, and back up again before being given a lifejacket by a first class passenger.

When further asked, he does say that guys he thinks were sailors "tried to keep us down at first on our steerage deck. They did not want us to go up to the first class place at all". When asked whether there "was any effort made on part of the officers or crew to hold the steerage passengers in the steerage?" he says that "[he does] not think so".

Little bit of a contradiction at first glance.

However, there's a pretty logical explanation: the stewards and sailors wanted them to go up, but they wanted them to go up quickly and safely. Having passengers stream into the first class areas would not be beneficial, they did not know their way around and would most likely get lost, Titanic was a maze. We have examples like Minnie Coutts stating that she got lost and couldn’t find her way until a sailor guided her up. 

The stewards were most likely trying to get the third class passengers to their own deck space, from where they could just walk up to the boat deck. This would also have the added benefit of having them go towards the stern, away from the flooding. 

However, there's panic and confusion around (more in Third Class then elsewhere, since their compartments actually started to flood early) and a lot of the third class doesn't speak English. There were also only around 50 third class stewards for hundreds of passengers, and a handful of them were ordered to help out on the boat deck to launch the lifeboats early on. 

So it's understandable that some situations may have arisen where Third Class passengers were held back from going through the first class spaces, not out of malicious intent, but actually in an attempt to get them up safely. 

Not a lot of the third class stewards survived, so we obviously can't be sure, but we know that John Edward Hart took "his" passengers up personally for exactly those reasons, as did Albert Pearcy. They also both testify that the Chief Steward of the Third Class, James Kieran, ordered them to collect passengers and take them up. 

We also have other third class passengers stating that to their knowledge, no passengers in steerage were prevented from going on (Berck Pickard, Olaus Abelseth). 

There’s also often the idea that the rich passengers on board were given priority at the lifeboats. That is not the case, pretty much the sole factor up there was gender. It’s all over the inquiries, they’ll always mention how a crew men told them to get in, or how there were no women around at all. Dickinson H Bishop, Henry Blank and others were accused of dressing up as women to get into the boats or otherwise bribing their way in. If you were a man and had the audacity to survive, you better have a damn good reason for it. 

We also have multiple very, very rich people dying. John Jacob Astor (at that point one of the richest men in the world with a net worth of over 2 billion), Isidore and Ida Straus (she refused to leave the ship without him), Benjamin Guggenheim, Archibald Butt (who was a close friend to president Taft) and his supposed boyfriend/partner/”[his] artist friend who lives with [him]” Francis Davis Millet. If there was priority given to the First Class/rich passengers, they were doing a bad job. 

"They didn't see the ice berg because of the missing binoculars"

The famous missing binoculars. Remember officer David Blair, who was assigned elsewhere last minute since Wilde was pulled over from the Olympic? The story is that in his haste to leave Titanic, he accidentally took the keys for the locker that housed the binoculars intended for the lookouts with him. Fleet and Lee, the lookouts at the time of the collision, thus were unable to see the iceberg in time.

Now, there's actually quite a few oddities in this story. The whole idea that Blair took the key with him mostly originates from the testimony of another lookout, George Hogg, who said that "Mr. Blair was in the crow's-nest and gave me his glasses, and told me to lock them up in his cabin and to return him the keys." and that then there were "none [in the crow's nest] when we left Southampton.". 

We then have George Symons, yet another lookout (Titanic had six who covered shifts in pairs), testifying that after they left Southampton, he went and asked Lightoller for binoculars, who told him that "there are none", which Lightoller backs up here.

Blair was supposed to be the second officer, replaced by Lightoller (who got bumped down from first). However, we know that Lightoller had access to binoculars. Meaning that even if Blair took his keys with him, Lightoller either had his own key or managed to procure a replacement. 

We also know that there were multiple pairs on board, "A pair for each Senior Officer and the Commander, and one pair for the Bridge, commonly termed pilot glasses". Meaning if the lookouts seriously needed some, they could have been loaned some, especially since there'd only be one senior officer "on watch" at any given time. 

This also makes it clear that there were no dedicated binoculars for the lookouts, a fact that is backed up by both the Marine Superintendent of the White Star line here when describing the contents of the box in the crow's nests. We also have multiple captains testifying on whether they consider binoculars essential, which might explain why they weren't usually supplied:

No, I do not. - Captain Richard Jones I never heard of it until I read it in the paper the other day. We have never had them - I never have. - Captain Frederick Passow My Lord, I do not believe in any look-out man having glasses at all. I only believe in the Officer using them, and then only when something has been reported in a certain quarter or certain place on the bow. - Sir Ernest Shackelton, Artic Explorer

Now, why is that the case? Binoculars were considered to be useful in identifying an object once they were spotted, and as Lightoller puts it: "[The lookout] might be able to identify it, but we do not wish him to identify it. All we want him to do is to strike the bells.” 

It seems like binoculars were sometimes issued on White Star Line ships (Hogg testified that he had used them on the White Star Line’s Adriatic, but no other ship), but that it "[was] a matter of opinion for the officer on watch."

We also have multiple lookouts testifying that binoculars would, by their best judgment, not have helped Fleet and Lee spot it earlier since binoculars were not used for that:

Not much of a help to pick anything up; but to make it out afterwards, they were. - Thomas Jones "Do you mean you believe in your own eyesight better than you do in the glasses? Yes - George Hogg Yes. You use your own eyes as regards the picking up anything, but you want the glasses then to make certain of that object. - George Symons

"A fire weakend Titanic's hulls, which caused it to fail"

This old chestnut. I say old, but it's a "theory" originating in the 1990s. The idea is that there was a raging coal fire that heavily damaged the Titanic, proven by black smudges on a handful of pictures. 

Now, it is true that there was a coal fire on the Titanic. This was fairly common in ocean liners at the time, due to the ridiculous amount of coal on board occasionally spontaneously combusting (fun) and there were procedures in place to deal with it.

The coal was stored in bunkers within the boiler rooms, see here, specifically to separate them out a bit. The boiler rooms (and other parts of the ships) were separated into watertight compartments divided by watertight bulkheads and doors. 

The bulkheads were made of fairly thick steel and able to hold hundreds of tons of water. The coal bunkers themselves were made out of thinner steel, since they only needed to hold the coal itself, not water.

The fire on the Titanic happened in bunker Y in boiler room 6, presumably right when she left port. We know this because men were shoveling out coal both out of bunker Y and bunker W, the adjoining bunker on the other side of the watertight bulkhead in boiler room 5. 

Ironically enough, that specific bunker was the last one that just got nicked by the iceberg, dooming the ship (if it had stayed intact Titanic probably would have floated along). The bunkers, as I said, were not made watertight. So when bunker W was flooded, the steel eventually failed and flooded boiler room 6 completely.  

We can glean this both from recreations of the damage and the testimony of chief fireman Frederick Barrett, who was actually in boiler room 6 when it started flooding.

The "fire theory" states that the fire warped the bulkheads, which caused them to fail. To warp the bulkheads seriously, the fire would have had to burn at over 1000 degrees Fahrenheit/537 degrees celsius, probably hotter, which would then cause the rivets used to fasten the steel together to fail. 

Directly above the fire was the First Class Swimming Pool, which would have heated up considerably if it sat above a raging inferno. One might find it hard to believe that a boiling pool would have been described as "heated to a refreshing temperature" and that "in no swimming bath had [he] ever enjoyed such a pleasure before" by Archibald Gracie. 

Now we do know that there was a small "ding" in the bulkhead, according to Barrett, but that was small enough to just be painted over and investigated by the chief engineer, who deemed it to be no issue. And as previously stated, we can be pretty certain that the coal bunker burst, not the watertight bulkhead. 

There's also the very simple fact that the smudge in the photograph is actually located above a bunch of third class cabins and a good fifty feet away from the coal bunkers & boilers, but oh well.

[themickey]

task: reflect on a memory in the great room as a teenager

the year is 1996, mickey is 17 years old

mickey has always felt out of place in the woodrow house; at first it was because she didn't speak english like the rest of the wards, but as she got older and could communicate with everyone, that feeling never quite went away. there was always something off about her. she tried to be like her pseud siblings, she tried to fit in and copy her sisters. she'd wear the nice clothes mrs. tristian would wash and hang in her room, she'd brush her long brown hair and pin it back out of her face, she'd try to be like natalia and alison. but something always felt wrong.

the only time she felt like she didn't have to pretend was when she was reece and meera. sure, she knew at times they probably just kept her around to take the fall for them when they got into trouble, but she didn't mind, she liked being included.

it wasn't until she was around 15 when she started to understand why she was so different from the others.

mickey started noticing how she didn't have crushes on boys- not any in the house or on any of her extra curricular teams. she didn't even have crushes on celebrity boys like her siblings who couldn't stop talking about jonathan taylor thomas' hair. mickey would rather do literally anything else to get out of talking about boys with the other girls in the house. instead, she noticed the way her mind would drift off when she thought about women. her heart would race when she stepped into fencing practice and she saw her coach, a 30-something butch woman who mickey was strangely fascinated by.

she was scared by these feelings, scared of what her family would think, scared of what that said about her. she didn't want to tell anyone. she didn't want to disappoint richard.

she kept it a secret for a long time, until one night when she and reece were drinking in her room and it just came out.

"i think i might like girls, the way i'm supposed to like boys," mickey said, cheek pressed against the half open window where she was blowing cigarette smoke out of.

"shit, really?" reece asked

"yeah."

and that was that, mickey had come out to her best friend, and reece didn't even care. in fact, she shared those feelings, even if reece said she did like boys. as time went on, reece became her confidant for those feelings. and blame it on the close proximity or teenage hormones, at times they would even "practice" with each other. at least that was how mickey tries to frame it now that she's older and seeing everyone as her siblings. it was just practice, right? it was practice when they would kiss in their rooms and then go about their days like it didn't happen. it was practice when she started having feelings for the girl. it was practice when mickey broke it off because it started getting too real for her and she didn't want things to get weird between them because mickey started seeing everyone as her siblings and not just classmates who lived together.

she started dressing differently after that. sometimes, she would sneak into angus' room after he had gone to college and take his clothes and wear them. mrs. tristian was furious. she lectured her for so long about how things are supposed to be, how girls aren't supposed to wear boys clothes, how mickey needed to stop acting out and be the "good girl she knows she is."

mickey was so ashamed. that is until richard found out and told her that it was okay, that she didn't need to conform to society and if she felt more comfortable in boys clothes, then he would allow her to shop in the men's department.

it was when she was 17 that she took the next step to feel more like herself.

mickey and reece had gone to see bound in theaters when it first came out. mickey was scared to tell anyone what they were seeing, but she was filled with buzzing excitement when they two of them sat in the back of the movie theater with a bucket of popcorn sat between them.

seeing gina gershon in that dirty tank top and leather jacket changed something in her. that was what she wanted to look like, what she wanted to be like. it was the first time she saw someone like her on screen and it felt so good.

"i think i want to cut my hair," mickey had said as they walked out of the movie theater.

and that was how they ended up in mickey's on suite bathroom and reece standing over her with scissors in her hand. as clumps of long hair started falling off her shoulders, mickey couldn't stop smiling.

admittedly, it was not a good hair cut, it was choppy and uneven, but mickey didn't care. for the first time in her lift, she felt like herself when she looked in the mirror.

of course, once she left her room, that confidence left her. she knew mrs. tristian would lecture her again, maybe even the other wards would judge her or look at her differently. but there was one person she knew wouldn't.

she found richard in the great room with a book in his hands. mickey cleared her throat to get his attention and as he looked up, she could see the shock on his face for a split second before he controlled his features.

"oh wow," he said, setting the book down on his lap. richard stops and thinks for a moment that felt like eternity to mickey who was waiting, hoping, for him to approve. "are you happy with it?" he asks instead. mickey nods shyly. "well that is all that matters. you know that i will never stop you from expressing yourself, michèle." he smiled at her and mickey felt like she could breath again.

"thank you, richard," she said.

"although," he started with a soft chuckle. "maybe next time i can take you to the barber shop so it doesn't look so-"

"is it bad?" she cuts him off, a hand going up to her freshly cut hair.

"no, no it's just... different." she could tell he was trying to be nice. "though i think a professional would do a better job. which of your housemates helped you?"

"reece," she admitted.

"ah of course, you two," he says, shaking his head but there is a smile on his lips as if he wouldn't expect anything else. "well make sure to clean up so mrs. tristian doesn't get upset and i will have a talk with her about your new hair cut."

"okay, i will. and... thank you."

"of course, mickey," he smiles before going back to his book.