#almost wanted to title this “which character deserves to finally get a proper break and take a dirt nap FOREVER”

[mrwinterr]

Over & Over

Pairing: Pornstar!Bucky Barnes AU x Pornstar!Female Reader

Summary: You’re an up-and-coming adult film star secretly eager to work with the popular Bucky Barnes, and with just the right connections, your paths cross much sooner than later.

Warnings: Adult themes. Smut 18+ (unprotected sex, vaginal penetration and instructional fingering, oral [male & female receiving], size kink, spit & cum play, a smudge of male dominance), dirty talk and language.

Disclaimer: I don’t know how the porn industry works; this was just written for fun.

Title Inspiration: “Over & Over” by Smallpools

A/N: After doping up on strong painkillers wasn’t enough, I thought releasing endorphins would help ease my headache, so once again watching porn inspired another fic. Idk. I’m a mess. Enjoy!

Slipping on your oversized sunglasses, you walk along the rectangular outline of the hotel’s lavish pool, to one of the vacant lounge chairs next to the redheaded goddess, whose wings you were taken under and could gratefully call a close friend. You hadn’t known a single soul when you packed up and moved west to Los Angeles at 18, but you knew you were destined for more than what your humdrum life back at home could offer.

The porn industry wasn’t your first choice at a career in entertainment, but the starving profession wasn’t paying the bills fast enough. You weren’t going to survive in L.A. another year juggling to pay for tuition and stay enrolled in acting school from the income of working menial jobs and booking small gigs. However, one minor role as an extra in a one-night stand sex scene of a TV show, you catch the eye of the multitalented adult film actress Natasha Romanoff.

It was pure coincidence she was also casted, playing a bigger role, of the same episode, but she saw more in you in your less than 15 seconds of fame than most casting agents did before offering you a chance to shadow her. You knew she looked familiar and you were no stranger to watching porn, but when you’re as down on your luck as you were, you went all in and soon enough countless scenes now under your belt within a year, you’re porn’s best female newcomer.

“There’s this year’s Best New Starlet!” Natasha proclaims loudly for almost everyone around to hear.

Lucky for you, the shades conceal the roll of your eyes at her comment as you kick off your flip-flops and remove the thin cover up to reveal your skimpy bikini. You dare look over at her in time to catch her mocking reaction, jaw dropped from your attitude.

“After all I’ve done for you,” she says, placing a hand to her heart, feigning hurt.

The pair of you laugh at your nonsense and after she helps you with applying the appropriate amount of sun care protection, you recline in your seats and attempt to soak up some sun. It was a much-needed break with the long stressful week of the award show now behind everyone. Your hard work had paid off and after all you did learn from the best.

Your predecessor before you, Natasha was also a former Best New Starlet, and now is a household name in pornography. She didn’t welcome a lot of people into her inner circle, but she had plans to one day direct and knew she had to find the next big thing before anyone else to take her place.

“Hello, ladies,” comes from the voice of this year’s Director of the Year and other close friend Wanda Maximoff.

“Hey Wanda,” you greet her by sitting up to give her a proper hug.

You met her through her twin brother, Pietro, who happened to be your first co-star and was very welcoming and caring to you. The twins took care of you during your first few months starting out. Much like Natasha did for you, you help her administer the same amount of sunscreen on her body.

“Congrats on your achievement,” she says wholeheartedly, looking over her shoulder at you as you finish up on her back, and even under the heat of the sun, she could still see the blush creep up on your face.

“She’s a natural, isn’t she?” Natasha comments casually, to which Wanda nods enthusiastically, only speeding up the process of the rose tints on your cheeks to spread all over your face. They were your biggest fans and supporters; you were so happy you could make them proud.

“I owe it all to the queen herself,” you say, downplaying your achievement and turning the attention to your mentor in Natasha. She scoffs at that and teases you about just taking the damn compliment. You put in the work; it was all you.

“Seriously, you deserved it,” Wanda says honestly, and you finally accept the praise.

“So, what’s next for miss Director of the Year?” Natasha asks leaning on a propped elbow, body facing towards you and Wanda.

“Well, I managed to finally book Bucky Barnes in an upcoming project…” she starts out, but the moment you heard his name slip from her lips, the rest almost didn’t matter.

Bucky Barnes was somewhat of a legend. There wasn’t a model or director that didn’t want to work with him. The man was downright gifted in every aspect and his work speaks for itself. Before you broke onto the scene, you’d gotten off to his videos, and only dreamed of one day starring in a scene with him, but you were still new to this world.

As a promising star, you had a long way to go and tons of plots, positions and people to still experience, so landing a role with someone like Bucky Barnes wasn’t entirely written in your plans any time soon. Then again, your first girl-on-girl scene was with your mentor herself, so anything could happen, right?

“I just haven’t found my girl yet,” was the next thing you pick up Wanda say the moment your head comes back from the clouds, “...I have all this momentum now that I want this to blow everyone away, especially Stark.”

Tony Stark was her rival. It was a friendly competition amongst friends. You hadn’t gotten the chance to work for him yet. He was a playful character and had directed some of the best adult films out there, Wanda just happened to be the better of the two this year…

“Sorry, I’m retired,” Natasha reminds her and repositions herself on her back.

“Fuck you,” Wanda says playfully to which Natasha responds with a finger in the air before she clarifies, “I was hinting at this year’s Best New Starlet…” and slyly looking in your directly.

“Me?” You ask incredulously. Your head can’t even start processing that you’re finally getting the opportunity to work with Bucky.

Wanda rolls her eyes at your obliviousness, “no, last year’s Best New Starlet. Hell no! Of course, you!” You respond in the same manner as your mentor, who is more than amused at you also following her lead, and flip Wanda off. Wanda snatches your hand to bring it away from her face, “I’m serious!”

“I-I don’t know, Wan,” a part of you is a little scared that you’re not going to be able to keep up with someone as established and with the star power as Bucky, “...like you said, you have all this momentum behind you. I don’t want to fuck this scene up because I don’t have a lot of experience.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Natasha pipes up on the other side of you. “This is the perfect role for you!” She sees the questionable look on your face and sighs before explaining. “You’re a fresh face and rising star! People are lining up to book you, Stark included.”

“Nat is right. You’re a hot commodity now! I need someone who is a little inexperienced to mix with someone that is,” Wanda further explains her premise, “let him take the lead, but at your pace. I need it to be raw and passionate. People love that shit!” They were right, he had all the experience, and you were a fresh loveable face. It was the perfect combination.

You remain quiet for several seconds before Natasha rats you out, “and don’t even try to act like you don’t want to work with Barnes. This is your fantasy come to life.” Way to throw you under the bus like that…

There’s no denying your goal to work with him. He’d been in this business much longer than you had, you didn’t think your paths would ever cross on a set, but the opportunity couldn’t have presented itself in a more perfect point in your career.

The room is very pristine. White walls with a king size bed, also adorned in white sheets, fluffy pillows scattered at the top, minimal furniture around to make it look realistic, and the lighting was just right. Wanda had received a hefty budget after her recognition that’s for sure.

“Alright, girly, let’s get you on the bed!” Wanda happily directs.

You nod silently, remove your footwear and plop down on the center of the large mattress. You decide to leave your legs sprawled on one side of your body, settling on a bashful position. It’s not hard for you because although you agreed to do this and have done several scenes, internally, you’re freaking the fuck out. Unbeknownst to you, it’s all part of your charm; the innocence you somehow still radiated was an all too endearing quality and actually sexy.

Even your attire was pretty modest, opting for a more casual look with black leggings and a tight long sleeve that accentuates your figure and shows off the right amount of cleavage. It was something that you could easily wear out in public, which again was a part of your brand in being as natural as possible, but come the right circumstances, when it was time to roll you could turn on the right switch.

“We’ll start off like a typical casting interview before we bring Bucky in and then we’ll go from there. Sounds good?” She runs down the plan with you, fixing a few strands of flyaway hairs on your head before back away from the bed. With a thumbs up and a smile from you, she starts recording.

“Welcome, Best New Starlet of the Year!” Wanda greets from behind the camera.

“Hi,” you politely reply with your signature sweet smile and a wave to the screen.

These scenes start off with a small interview recounting your tale into the porn industry leading up to your recent achievement and even delving a bit into your personal life before the topic changes to your co-star.

“So, how excited are you to work with Bucky today?”

No matter how hard you practiced at keeping a straight poker face, that was something you were unable to master from Natasha, and the blush couldn’t be contained.

Fidgeting at the hem of your top, you open and close your mouth, trying to find the right words. You’re overly flustered at the thought of Bucky and he wasn’t even in front of you yet. You don’t want to sound like a fool and ruin the atmosphere. Wanda mouths words of advice from where she sat in the director’s chair, “be honest.”

“Um, I’m...nervous,” you say truthfully.

“Nervous?” She questions, urging you to elaborate.

“Yeah, he’s Bucky Barnes! He’s hot and he’s got so much experience. I’m kind of scared I’ll be boring,” you finish explaining and hope to God that Natasha doesn’t kill you afterwards, or with that answer let Wanda down, but the smile on her face sends you a wave of assurance.

Maybe you could do this...

Earlier that day, Bucky had already recorded his little opening scene. Wanda had called him to report on set before you were scheduled to arrive.

On the contrary, Bucky was also a tab bit anxious to work with you. He’d seen some of your work and more so heard about your talent from his own best friend, Steve Rogers.

He didn’t deny it, he was very much attracted to you and he wanted a chance to work with you too. Bucky wasn’t a jealous person, which made working in the porn industry easy for him, but when he had to hear Steve recount his scenes with you, he couldn’t help but want to sock his own childhood friend. He didn’t of course, but the rage was evident and his other friend, Sam Wilson, took some sick pleasure in teasing him over it. In fact, the eccentric personality of the trio of friends, decided to tag along with Bucky to introduce himself to you and get under his skin a little more.

“What’s going on in that nasty head of yours?” Sam poked at Bucky as they made their way over to Wanda, who was by the camera setup going over a script with another stagehand. When Bucky doesn’t respond, it provokes Sam even more, “no way, you’re nervous!”

Bucky sighs fed up with dealing with the anxiety brewing ever since he found out he was going to star in this film with you. “Shut the fuck up, will you? Of course, I’m nervous,” he says, trying to remain calm.

“Dude, you’ve slept with some of the hottest people in the world and millions of people have seen you naked. Why is one girl any different?” Sam wonders.

“I don’t know, ok. She just seems so down-to-earth and normal?” Bucky attempts to explain. You were real. His work was just that, it was a work, and he was afraid that it would be different with you. He could say he was almost intimidated by you.

“Yeah, as if I don’t have to hear that enough from Rogers…” Sam chimed in. Steve had nothing but high praise for your performance. In fact, his testimony helped expose you a little further. He was an honorable performer and a respected one, so they took his word on you. “Maybe, I’ll be her next co-star,” and just like that Sam ruined a moment.

“God, I hate you,” was the last thing exchanged between the two friends as they finally reached Wanda. She warned Sam to behave and gave Bucky a quick rundown before instructing him to hop on the bed.

Bucky’s interview starts a little differently than yours. Having already been a more established performer than yourself, no one needed his background story. The only thing Wanda wanted out of him was his plans and opinion on you.

“Well, I don’t know too much about her, personally speaking...but everyone seems to love her,” Bucky’s answer was a bit bland for Wanda.

“She’s a great person to work with,” she comments and that’s a tactic most directors used to get talent to keep talking.

“That’s what Steve keeps saying,” he says with somewhat of an awkward light laugh. He could see Sam facepalming next to Wanda at that lame answer.

“Yeah, you don’t win best female newcomer for nothing,” Wanda points out. If anyone was the lucky one here, it was Bucky. He was climbing up in age and you were the next big thing. You were the real star of this film not Bucky. She was counting more on you to deliver than him.

“That’s right. She’s a very talented performer,” Bucky says, and this small comment opens up a can of worms for Wanda to build up on.

“Oh, so you’ve seen some of her work?” Bam! He was caught.

Bucky’s mouth starts twitching slightly and Wanda and Sam are smirking from their spots as they watch the gears in Bucky’s mind start turning faster trying to think of something. The only piece of advice Wanda gives is “be honest.”

He sighs, the jig was up. Smooth Bucky Barnes was caught red-handed, “yeah, I’ve watched some scenes. I’ve seen her in person a few times too…”

“Wait,” Wanda interrupts him abruptly. She knew you were attracted to Bucky, but never knew of any encounters between you two, “when did you meet her?”

“I haven’t,” Bucky starts, which causes a look of mass confusion on Wanda’s face before he follows up, “formally. I haven’t met her formally, but I’ve seen her at a few parties and at the award show...I was just nervous to walk up to her,” the words just kept flowing out of his mouth and he inwardly cringed at how awkward he might’ve sounded.

Sam was amused by his embarrassment, but Wanda was pleased with this result. Bucky was good at what he did and that included him trying to play it cool, which he did well on screen, sometimes.

“You know she was actually thrilled to find out she would be working with you,” Wanda said, stretching the truth. The truth was, you hadn’t verbally confessed that, at least not yet.

“Really?” Bucky asks all too hopeful, his mood noticeably perking up.

“Yup! Ever since she won Best New Starlet of the Year, people have been lining up to book her, but she chose this project. You were the deal breaker, Barnes,” she fabricated and hoped this all worked out for you two in the end.

“Wow, who would’ve thought this has-been still had it in him?” He jokes at himself. His humility would get the best of him in every situation.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself! You didn’t win Best Male Performer of the Year again for nothing!” Wanda says and then steers the interview to a close.

After wrapping up Bucky’s scene, he’s allowed to stay in another room with a monitor. At first, he thinks it’s to help him prep for the scene, but to his surprise it’s a live feed of your interview and he starts clinging onto your every word. Enthralled by your journey, work ethic and he gets flustered all over again hearing you talk about your equal eagerness to work with him.

“You know, if anyone is the lucky one in this situation, it’s Barnes,” Wanda reminds as your interview comes to an end.

“Right,” you sarcastically remark.

“Are you ready for us to bring Bucky in?” She asks.

“It’s now or never,” you reply. 

You watch the doorknob twist and the door open to slowly reveal Bucky. Where do you even start with him? He just looked like the total package. His gaze immediately on yours. As he makes his way towards the bed you’re still sitting on, when his knee comes in contact to the edge, you maneuver your body in his direction, sit up on your knees to meet him halfway and welcome him in a hug.

“Hi, it’s nice to finally meet you,” he says when you pull apart. The both of you don’t break away completely. Your arms are still wrapped around his neck, his hands placed just above your waist, you can feel his fingers that slipped under the fabric rub your skin.

“It’s nice to meet you,” you respond, giving him a genuine smile and can’t help but stare at his pretty face. You had to remind yourself he’s just another guy, except he wasn’t. You didn’t know how he felt, but you wanted this, wanted him. You also don’t know if you’ll ever work him again after today, so he was going to get the real you.

A small, subtle clearing of someone’s throat shatters the staring contest between you and Bucky causing you both to sheepishly break away from the other, not realizing you’d both allowed dreaded dead airtime to pass by. You scoot over to make room for him next to you on the bed. After he pulls his footwear off, he sits cross legged in front of you, you have one leg tucked in and the other extended in front.

Bucky’s not entirely oblivious. He not only witnessed you backstage reveal you were actually nervous to work with him, he could feel it, so at an attempt to help ease both your nerves, he places a hand on your shin and absentmindedly run his hand up and down the fabric, fingers sometimes stopping to mess with the cuff of your leggings and at the skin of your ankle, while he listened to you speak.

He congratulated you on your achievement as you did with him, both a blushing mess before diving into different topics like traveling and other interests.

Wanda stood proudly behind the camera watching the scene unfold. Everything was so candid and real between you and Bucky, the chemistry was clearly evident, she didn’t foresee there would be much directing on her part today, which was going to make her job easy.

“Wanda said you were excited to work with me,” Bucky teases, wanting to see if what you said was just for the cameras or if it was really true, but also, he found out he liked to see you get all hot and bothered in more than one way.

Your jaw drops and you look directly into the camera, breaking the fourth wall, calling out to Wanda. You playfully chastise and curse at her for revealing your secret. She tells you it was going to come out anyways, and while that was true, you’d hoped it was later and much after you’ve slept with him, hoping it doesn’t ruin the shoot, but Bucky assures you that it’s actually a flattering to hear or in his words, “assuring” for someone like him.

“Are you kidding?” You say, lightly shoving him back, “you’re like a legend! Of course, I was excited! I’m surprised you agreed to work with a rookie like me!” Now that the cat was out of the bag, you might as well own up to your secret.

“Everyone wants to work with you,” he makes clear, leaning in closer. Fuck, he didn’t even need to initiate foreplay because with the way he was looking at you right now, you could come swear you’d come undone for him in an instant.

“Oh really?” You challenge, your body gravitating like a magnet towards his.

“Yup, Steve wouldn’t shut up about you and even Sam said he can’t wait to someday work with you,” he said, voice slowly dropping in decibels and his hands sliding up your thighs.

“Did he?” You ask, but you don’t really care about Sam as your eyes look dead into Bucky’s blue ones, swirling into a darker shade full of deep want and desire.

“Yeah, but let’s see if he still wants to try to outdo me after I’m done with you,” he whispers, finally closing the gap between your lips in a sweet kiss. It was about as sweet as it could last because after just one taste of your lips, he was a starved man, hungry for more. You tried your best to match his pace and the kiss turned sloppy very quick.

You moaned at the pressure of his lips pressed roughly against yours, and you do your best to keep up, but you’re already finding yourself short of breath. However, the more you try to pull back to regain some oxygen, the more he’s unwilling to part as he grasps your face in both hands to keep you still, so you lightly squeeze at his biceps as a warning in hope he gets the message.

Lucky for you, he does and lets up. He’s also noticeably breathless, his warm breath fanning against your kiss-swollen lips, his forehead resting against yours. Bucky’s hands are still on your face.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, and you let out a small chuckle at the sincerity. He was cute.

You take his hands in yours and bring them back down to begin undressing him starting by helping him slip his shirt over his head, the fashionable dog tags around his neck clank as it slaps against his toned chest, you let him keep them on though.

Bucky sits up on his knees as he watches you settle on your stomach, propped up by your elbows, hands getting ready to work on his lower half. He patiently watches as you unbuckle his belt, pop the button of his jeans off, and drag the zipper down.

With his pants hanging loose off his hips, you begin to plant soft kisses along his navel down the defined lines that lead to his cock. Each contact of your lips sends a ghostly tingle and the blood to rush even quicker down his lower region. The imprint of his endowed member doesn’t leave much to your imagination, you can already see the stain where the tip is through his tight boxer briefs. It gives you a little boost of confidence knowing you’d caused this and would get to take care of it.

You hook your fingers into the undergarment and tug them down his muscular thighs. His cock springs out, almost hitting you in the face causing you to jolt back a little and a smile to spread across Bucky’s.

Your clumsiness was also a part of your charm. It wasn’t on purpose, you were still learning after all, and that’s what made it so unique and fun to work with you. Your partners just felt a real, genuine connection, citing it felt less choreographed and of a porno with you.

A little embarrassed about that move, you’d watched what he can do with that cock, but nothing could’ve prepared you for it face-to-face. You don’t waste any time on getting your hands on him and wrap your fingers around his half-hard cock and start pumping him sensually.

He’s hot and soft in your hands before getting gradually heavy. The look in your eyes grows more predatory as you watch him grow and feel him getting harder with each pump causing more and more pre-cum to ooze out. You spread it all over the head of his cock with your thumb then daring to look up at him, hoping he was indeed enjoying your work, before you pucker your lips and kiss at the crown. Bucky curses when he sees your lips shining, coated in his pre-cum, with a string connecting you to his cock.

You gather the fluid up in your hand before spreading it all over his length, when it’s not enough you start not only pumping him faster, but also licking up and down, from the base to the tip, hoping to effectively slick him up. The way your tongue scrapes along over Bucky’s sensitive flesh stirs him up. Your other hand joins in to fondle with his neglected balls, massaging and pulling at them in the right moments, sometimes you travel a little south and take them in your mouth. It all but drives Bucky wild and it’s confirmed with each swear that leaves his mouth.

Bucky wants nothing more than to lodge himself deep in your throat, but he remembers he needs to go at your pace, and once you’re broken in a little more, you could follow his, so he’ll bide his time for now and watch you work.

When you’re ready to take him in, you regain his attention and he watches you slowly take in his inches down your mouth, stopping halfway before your wide-open mouth hollows out. Your full mouth immediately waters around him and it doesn’t take long before you’re a drooling mess all over his cock. You pull back torturously slow, looking back down watching his cock reappear and loving the way it disappears back in, and especially how it feels when it drags through your mouth, taking note of the veins and unique ridges.

“Don’t be like that, doll,” he says, wiping some of the hair away from your face, “come on and show me why they don’t stop talking about you,” he coaxes, now gathering some of your locks in his hand to completely give you both a clear view. He tries his best to not take the lead, but you don’t disappoint as your mouth works faster on him. The gagging and sucking, mixed with Bucky’s moans of pleasure soon become the soundtrack.

You’d gradually take him more and more in, close to deep throating him, and you’re just ready to let up, but he can’t help it and before your last round, he holds your head in place.

“Don’t quit now, baby,” he encourages you, placing his other hand on the back of your head, keeping you still and carefully starts to thrust his hips, urging you to take him all the way, “...that’s it, you can do it, you can take it,” he releases a big sigh feeling the tip of your nose bump his lower abdomen. The moisture builds up in the inner corner of your eyes and you do your best to mind your breathing and not choke.

“Fuck!” He can’t help but shout when he feels your throat contract around him. You just looked so divine, mouth full of his cock. He keeps you there for a few seconds, before releasing his hold, and you immediately pull back, drool dribbles down your chin, and you’re desperate for oxygen to return back into your system. He grabs your face by your chin forcing you to look up at him.

He uses his fingers to scoop up some of the mixed fluids of his arousal and your saliva at your chin before presenting it in front of you. You easily read his mind, look up at him with big, watery eyes, and take his coated digits in your abused mouth sucking the juices clean off him. 

He growls and commends you, “...such a good girl.” When he slips his fingers out of your mouth, a small pop could faintly be heard, he gently yanks at your hair, craning your head back further, it’s almost painful but you don’t care, “do it again,” he demands.

You bite your lip and reposition yourself. Bucky settles in a more comfortable position on his back, completely rid of his pants and underwear, his legs spread open for you to lie between them. Before you get back to the job, you slip your tight top off, all-natural breasts spilling out and on display for him. His cock twitches at the sight and he lets his head fall back when he’s once more fully encased in the warm, wet cavern of your mouth.

When he finally starts begging you to let up, you pull back slowly pumping him and watch his every move, the rise of his chest as it heaves from the activity, the way he runs his hands over his face. He’s absolutely stunned by your performance so far.

“On your back,” he says, and you do as he commands, and forget who is supposed to really be in charge. He yanks your leggings and panties all the way down, chucking them behind him somewhere in the corner of the room.

“You’re so sexy,” he compliments, eyes taking in every inch of your naked body, hands getting their fill. His body dips, lips latching onto your breasts, kissing at the skin and sucking on each nipple before they make their way up the juncture of your neck and claim your lips again.

You feel his tongue run along your bottom lip, and they part to grant him full access. You barely notice how he takes a hold of one of your hands, he pulls his face away to bring the hand in his grasp up to your face, using your fingers to trace the outline of your lips. You see him inaudibly instruct you to open your mouth, you do as you’re told.

“That’s right get those fingers nice and wet,” he coaxes you to suck on your own digits until he deems you ready for the next move. When he finally does pull your fingers out from your mouth, he extends your arm, ghosting them just over your pussy.

“Play with that clit,” he tells you and you don’t need to be told twice. Your pussy was begging for any kind of attention. You let your wet fingers roll over the bundle of nerves, puffs of breath escape your body as you’re finally attending to your own needs.

Bucky sits back and watches you intently, fascinated by your every move. He instructs you to close your eyes and listen to his voice, instructing you to go slow at first, “does that feel good?” the only reply he gets is a fast nod, “yeah? Make yourself feel good...that’s it,” his words only encourage your fingers to soon work faster, “let me hear how good it feels,” he demands, and you moan and whine like the true pornstar you are, your circular motions speed up, the lewd noises egg him on and soon enough he wants a taste.

“Let me help you out,” and you feel the bed shift a bit, “spread those wet lips for me,” he requests. You use both hands to invite him into your wet, glistening hole. You pick your head up to see his face buried between your thighs, you watch just long enough until each broad lick up and down your pussy sends you close to the edge.

He no longer needs the support of your hands, and they find purchase in his dark, fluffy hair as he starts sucking on your clit and tonguing your folds. At first, you’re doing a good job keeping your legs apart to accommodate him, but it gets harder and harder for them to not clamp around his head, with every nudge the tip of his nose makes at your clit and it doesn’t help your case when he inserts a finger inside you. With a good curl, his finger scratches dangerously close to your sweet spot, causing your legs to start quivering.

The sudden hitch in your breathing catches his attention, and Bucky tests the waters more by digging in deeper and curling in further. He notices the increasing agitation and knows he’s found the trigger.

“Bucky,” you whine, hoping he doesn’t push you over just yet. You want to last longer, and so you reluctantly attempt to scoot back further away, but the sudden strong grip  he has around your leg locks you in place. You pick your head back up and find Bucky’s eyes trained on you. You see the stoic look in his eyes laced with determination. Oh no, he wanted you to come now. You feel a hum from his full mouth, only pushing you further.  

“Don’t hold back,” he says against your pussy, “let go,” and the gruff in his voice, vibrating against you, his thick digits still curled deep inside you, you can’t hold back the floodgates from bursting any longer.

He laps up your arousal as you desperately try to regain composure. He really pulled one out of you, proving he was as every bit good as he put out and you’re not even close to the end of this scene.  

“Come here,” he says, getting back on his knees and pulling you up by your arms so you’re in an up-right sitting position once again, but with Bucky still towering over you, “open up.”

You comply and open your mouth wide, tongue out, not understanding his motive, and you’re met with full surprise when he spits in your mouth, a firm grip on your face, he holds you still.

“Don’t swallow,” he gravely warns. You feel and probably look stupid not knowing what he wants you to do with your mouth open wide and full of his spit mingling with your arousal, just trying to keep it all contained. Bucky was testing your patience and obedience and you passed every test so far. You were just the right amount of submissive, absolutely perfect.

You can feel his hard cock pressing up against your sensitive pussy, it slides up between your folds and the base rests on top of your mound. “Drool it out...on my cock,” he instructs. Oh. He guides your gaze down between your bodies, you purse your lips, and both watch as the liquid cascades down onto his erect member. He uses it to lube himself up before he pushes you down to lie flat on your back.

Bucky slowly but easily slips inside your wet channel but notices your slight struggle. He was big, and he gets it. The way your eyes are tightly shut, hands pulling at the sheets, you struggle to breath and your walls cruelly grip him tight. Normally, he’d just pound away until his partner got used to him, but he didn’t want to do that with you. He wanted you to enjoy feeling him.

He tries to help you relax by rubbing your thighs a little with soothing motions, when they fall limp on either side, he leans down, you feel the cool metal of his dog tags against your heated skin, his weight sort of comforting on yours, and arms entrapping your head. He lovingly calls out your name, and your eyes flutter open, your attention refocusing on him.

“We’ll go at your pace, alright?” he assures you. You curse yourself for allowing your heart to swell at his concern, but you nod giving him permission to move slowly. Your whimpers soon transition into pleasurable moans, the more your body begins to adjust to his.

“Damn, you’re so tight. You’ve never been stretched out like this by anyone before have you?” he dares ask, once he sees it’s a safe playing field once more, his hips moving slow, his cock sliding in and out of you. You attempt at a laugh between your ragged breathing and the intense sensation coursing through you.

“No,” you respond and kiss at his chin, the light stubble pricking your soft lips, “you’re so big.” You feel his cock twitch inside and you want to curse yourself again at the comment that unintentionally riles him up because he was nestled close to your spot again. Fuck, he could reach just the right depth in you.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you don’t want to go slow anymore. Fuck Wanda and this movie, you wanted all of Bucky now, “please fuck me,” you resort to begging. He inwardly growls and his hips start snapping forward, thrusts growing hard and uncalculated. You just lie there and allow him to use your pussy for his pleasure.

Bucky’s movements falter a bit in this position, so he steers both your bodies on their sides, still facing each other, he slings your leg high up over his hips, and resumes his task. His cock glides right back in your pussy and the new angle causes you to yelp and walls to clench around him.

“You feel so good,” his voice riddled with so much lust as he brings your body closer to his with a hand behind, full of your plushest asset. Your head rests on the bicep of his other arm that was underneath it.

Bucky’s expressive eyes ask you if you're close, and the more your walls continue to grip him, he starts begging for you to come with him. “I’m gonna cum,” he warns, giving up and letting you take the rest of the lead.

“Yeah?” you huff out, your fingers digging into the side of his hips, “you want to cum inside me?” You know he does; you can feel and see it written all over him, but you want to just poke at him like he had with you, “I want you to...I want all your cum inside me, Bucky,” and you wanted him to cum hard, deep inside, “fill my tight pussy up, please,” you plead.

With one more jab of his hips, your back arches and head is thrown back, you can’t help but let out a scream as your orgasm rips right through you like it’s never before. Bucky’s body on the other hand caves into yours, feeling almost paralyzed as your tight walls hold him in place and all he can do is bury his face into the sweaty skin of your neck.

His mouth hangs open, a plethora of profanities coming out of him, and he waits for his cock to finish spewing ropes of his hot, thick cum into you. Your walls can’t help but to involuntarily contract in small aftershocks, especially when he’s still coming.

Bucky continues to moan as he does as you hoped, he came hard and deep inside you. When you’ve both finally come down from the high, it’s silent, and even though you’d both long forgotten you were on a set with multiple people watching you two, they were also quiet, completely taken back by the performance.

Incoherent cries come out of each of you, when Bucky agonizingly pulls his cock out. For the most part you’re able to keep him inside, but he’d proven to come so much some of it seeps out and runs down in streak fashion along your thigh, staining the bed sheets.

In your last act, as your gazes meet each other again, your fingers dip inside your soaked cunt and coat them. Hypnotized by you, Bucky watches as you greedily suck off his essence from your digits, and you evoke a small hum in his favor at the taste bursting in your mouth.  

Bucky bites at his bottom lip, trying to not lose it again. When your hand disappears, he tenderly wipes the matted hair away from your face, smoothing your hair back before pulling your body close again, swooping your lips for a deep kiss.

“Shit, you’re good,” he admits, when he pulls away, effectively breaking the blissful silence. You bust out in a fit of giggles beside him and it’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen. He’s not sure what he’s feeling, but it’s not something you’re supposed to feel towards your co-star, especially in the porn industry.    

He smiles at you, basking in your afterglow and all he knows is that he wants to feel this high with you over and over, so he decides to risk it all, “I hope this doesn’t ruin the moment, but can I take you out some time?”

You try your best to read him, wondering if he was just still in the heat of the moment. Either he’s really good or he’s being sincere, you can’t tell and you’re hoping you’re not overthinking it, but his eyes, this whole time, were what gave him away. He performed with them and he definitely spoke through them.

Before you could accept and give him a definite answer, you’re both brought back to reality, “we’re still rolling here!” Wanda reminds.

A/N: Thank the pain meds for this. I think I effectively used up my vacation days the right way, won’t you agree? Likes, reblogs and comments/emojis are appreciated! 

[hobidreams]

june 1868.

but trust is a fickle, fragile thing.

pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader genre: angst words: 1.2k contains: historical au, character death. historical context: “mama” is the korean equivalent of “your highness” & the proper address for a queen. a/n: this drabble is sponsored by a donation to Black Lives Matter.

moonlit throne index. this is drabble five. start from the beginning?

In the long decade since the night you swore utter allegiance to the crown prince, you have done everything within your grasp to uphold the heart of the commitment you’ve made. Even as the prince becomes a king, even as beloved companions submit to the passage of time, and even as the adolescent declaration of obedience itself matures into instead a steady, affectionate support, you keep your word on all but one occasion. But it is this exact decision, this single withheld secret, that shifts both your worlds irrevocably.

“You must tell my son that it is a common illness. A simple recovery, and nothing more,” the queen had commanded you on a somber day in winter the year before as you knelt beside her bed, wiping blood from the corner of her pale lips.

“Daebi-mama.” Your voice broke on the last beat. “How long have you been hiding this?”

“Please.” Though her elegant fingers were weak, she covered your hands with a warm, pleading palm. “He doesn’t need any more distractions. Not now. Especially not ones that don’t have… simple solutions.” She squeezed then, with what strength she could muster, silencing all your protests. “If you want him to succeed - don’t tell him.”

And so, you hadn’t.

But while you agreed with the queen’s intentions, you continued to fight against the inevitability in a way that only you could. The last six months have been a frenzied haze. You blistered your feet scouring the markets, begging foreign traders for rare or sometimes strange ingredients that you could incorporate into draughts. You sought documents written in symbols you did not recognize, paying translators to parse out a phrase or even a glimmer that could help. You can’t even remember all the nights that you spent brewing, steaming, straining until the sun came over the horizon. But with each subsequent draft you secretly delivered to her bed, the queen only grew weaker.

All of this, you kept hidden from man you cared for most, justifying the guilt to yourself whenever he inquired after his mother.

But now. Now, when the king is staring with unblinking eyes at the pure white cloth draped over his mother’s body, you find that you don’t know a damn thing about what’s right anymore.

You feel splinters in your chest as he takes one unsteady step towards the bed that you stand beside, hands folded in an act of repentance. His mouth opens, then closes, not a single noise passing between them for a century-long minute. All of your instincts urge you to turn away and allow him private space to grieve, but that’s your own cowardice at being faced with his sorrow, manifested in the quiver of his lip. You must put him first. You must be his witness, his pillar, even when your own heart tightens with grief.

“Mama.”

He stumbles forward, feet clamoring over each other until he’s close enough to draw back the cloth, just enough to expose her face. His short, forcibly-suppressed exhale hits the wall. Yoongi jerks his hand away as if scorched, lets it hang numbly at his side. It’s with an indescribable expression that he takes in the familiar, softly wrinkled eyes. The pink lips that were so often curved in a warm smile. The arms that were generous enough to encompass an entire nation, but never neglected the ones closest. “Mama,” he says, voice still so tight as he takes another unsteady step, as if he needs to be closer. He’d seen her just last night. He had left her alone, and now—

It’s when his knee knocks against the hard wood, when he can truly go no further, that he plummets to the stark floor and a lonely sob rips straight from his throat. Goosebumps shoot up your arms at the noise, the visceral howl and all you can do is watch as Yoongi breaks with a shuddering gasp, “Mom.”

In this moment, it’s not a king that kneels before you, but a son. Someone’s precious child, with no one to stay strong for any longer and so he throws the entire mask away. Lets the tears finally overflow, staining the bedsheets with salt and heartache before he crumples them in a weak fist. Yoongi cries like he has never done, not since he was old enough to learn how much the word responsibility weighed on his head and how many millions of lives his body, not him, is worth. A stray tear falls on the queen’s cheek and his red-rimmed eyes follow how it rolls down her face as if she weeps at the thought of leaving him too, and he cries. He just cries, with the delicate perfume of plum blossoms fast fading around him.

Uselessly, you wish you could do something.

You wish you could have found a cure, a miracle or anything that could have bought him more time, even if it was only for a season more, or a single day. Really, it’s your own failure. You remain so fucking inexperienced, even after all these years. You should have told him. You should have tried harder. And it’s this shame that makes you reach out for him before you can think better of it, wanting nothing more than to hold him to offer a whisper of comfort and to say he’s not alone.

But when you touch him, he startles. Shifts back. Shifts away from you and you think he gathers the pieces of his crown and stitches them back together before you even have time to blink.

“Jeonha—”

“Su-uinyeo-nim.” He cuts you off with the deliberate use of your full, formal title. He’s never called you such before, preferring your name during the weekly reports you made to him. The words feel sluggish on his tongue as if he thinks, as if he knows, you don’t deserve the role too. You find the strength to meet his watery, but no less intense stare, and hear him carefully ask— “Did you know?”

He doesn’t need to elaborate. Your fingers, lingering just an inch away from him, freeze and falter. Crumple into themselves, because you can’t give him the answer his darkening eyes say he hopes for. Or maybe that’s just you thinking too highly of yourself in his heart.

“Did you know?” He presses again, tone a little higher, voice a little more desperate.

But language is your next failure, and he is left to take your silence for the admission of guilt it is.

“Get out.” He stands, hovers protectively over the bed as if you are the danger, the outsider. “Your services—and you—are no longer required for her. You’ve done more than enough.”

Your legs shiver as you sink into a bow, quick. “Y-Yes, jeonha.”

Then your slippers are slapping against the hard floor, feet aching from the pace with which you flee from the suffocating room. Your chest burns with the want to scream that you loved her too. That you wanted to tell him so many times, almost did with a slip of a tongue, but wanted to spare his already overtaxed mind. That you tried your damned best but you just couldn’t save her, and so you lost her. And from that last glimpse of him through the closing door, hunched over alone and silently breaking, you know that you’ve lost him too.

[damienthepious]

owo please have a fic comprised of 90% tender touching

Less Like A Deadly Weapon

[ao3]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Sir Damien, Rilla, Lord Arum

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Established Relationship, Early Relationship, Post-Episode: s02e36-41 Second Citadel - The Battle at World's End, Facial Shaving, Trust, (lots of tender touching tbqh)

Summary: Sir Damien asks for a little bit of help with his grooming, now that he is no longer too busy charging through the wilds on a desperate rescue mission to bother with something as mundane as shaving.

Notes:my work life has continued to be trouble, but i've wanted to get this one out for a while now! hope y'all enjoy, kiss a lizard, et cetera, i love you! title from the song Sword by IAN SWEET.

~

There are not all that many mirrored surfaces within Lord Arum's Keep. The lizard is a proud creature, certainly, but he is apparently not afflicted with that particular breed of vanity. They've been recuperating for a few days already (the first two tucked safe in a hidden outpost in the swamp, the latter inside Lord Arum's enormous, living home) before Damien happens to finally notice, leaning over a cupped leaf of water that the Keep has provided as a washbasin, that he looks-

Not terrible, really. Rilla has taken great care to treat his injuries, and the Keep has within it a fascinating system of running water with which to bathe, and Damien has slept more soundly these last few days than he has in... months, perhaps? He thinks he may have lost track, somewhere in the darkness of his pursuit. He does not look terrible.

He does look somewhat unkempt.

He thinks he lost the tie for his hair... possibly while stuck upon that impostor slug? No great loss, he supposes, and his hair is clean now even if it hangs in loose waves, tucked behind his ears. The shadows beneath his eyes have mostly faded, scratches and bruises softened by Rilla's careful treatment and a little bit of time. But his face- well, he has gone rather a bit beyond stubble, at this point.

He hasn't shaved, by his estimations, since the morning the Festival of the Three began.

On the proverbial (literal?) warpath while traveling with Sir Angelo and the others in turn, he hadn't had a mind for much beyond finding Rilla. He hadn't a mind for anything, really, and taking care of his appearance was certainly not among his priorities, beyond splashing his face when his fury heated his cheeks, or when he needed to wash away some fresh tears or lakeside muck or specks of ash. His straight razor remained packed away for the entire journey.

(He remembered it, once or twice, along the way, in those too-brief moments of rest. He remembered, but he did not reach for it. He did not want to take the blade into his hand, truthfully. It is not shaped at all like anything made for combat, but still the edge sang and resounded through Damien's memory, he couldn't take the shaft into his hand, could hardly look at it without hearing that hissing voice in his mind, couldn't bear the echo of like a butcher, little knight, treat it with some respect-)

(That particular memory feels somewhat different, now, than it did then. Warmer, perhaps.)

Well. He supposes he should take care of the situation, now that he may finally slow down enough to do so.

His arm is an issue, of course. That pig managed to break his dominant limb, whether in luck or in strategy Damien dare not guess. He could attempt the task with his off hand, but-

Rilla has instructed him rather fiercely not to overexert himself, while they nurse their wounds together.

And, frankly, Damien needs little excuse to request his flower's soothing hands upon him. It certainly wouldn't be the first time that Rilla has assisted him after such an injury, after all.

She agrees with a grin the instant he broaches the subject, one of her hands teasingly on his lower back as she all but shoves him towards the washroom.

"Oh, Saints, yes. C'mon, I miss that pretty face of yours," she says brightly, and Damien feels himself flush as she lovingly manhandles him to sit by the washbasin. "I wanna see it again."

She nudges him to sit back, drapes a warm damp cloth over the bottom half of his face and then presses a kiss to his temple for good measure, making his eyelids flutter closed in pleasure. She plays with his hair for a minute or so after that, chattering enthusiastically about the understanding of the Keep's aqueduct structures that she's managed to glean so far, and then she starts working up the lather as she speaks instead. Damien tries not to mourn the lack of her hands upon him; he knows they'll return soon enough, after all.

Arum finds them when Rilla is nearly done working the foam into his softened beard, his expression wary and uncertain as Rilla greets him with a cheery wave.

He eyes Damien with curiosity, and from his position leaning back in his seat with Rilla's hand pressing to his clavicle, Arum's attention makes Damien feel more than a little exposed.

"Dare I even ask?" the lizard murmurs, his tone a perfect mixture of amusement, irritation, and confusion as he gestures at- well, at the entire scene laid out before him, Damien supposes.

"Damien needs a trim," Rilla says warmly as she finishes swirling the lather below his jaw on one side, and then she tilts his face the other way to finish up. "And he decided to be a good boy about it and actually ask for help instead of trying to muddle through on his own with just his non-dominant arm."

"Is that why you look so- so smug about it, then?" Arum asks, arching his brow imperiously even as his eyes draw over the brush and the razor and the bottles of oils and creams and balms with inquisitive attention.

"I like when Damien lets me take care of him a little bit," she croons, and Damien makes a small, warbling noise of protest, looking up at her with pleading eyes. She meets his gaze with a grin, though, utterly unfazed. "It means he's not overexerting himself. Plus, he just deserves to feel pampered now and then, don't you think?"

She shoots her sharp eyes towards Arum, and the lizard looks vaguely startled for a moment before he glances towards Damien again, a light growl rumbling in his chest.

Damien swallows automatically as he locks eyes with Arum, and then the monster's expression softens, and he steps closer, his curiosity clearly getting the better of him.

"Of course he does," Arum agrees in a murmur, and then he tilts his head. "I should mention, however... what I am gathering, here, is that you lot can, in fact, take off your hair."

Rilla pauses as she sets the brush back into the cup of lather, and then she scowls at the monster while Damien blinks in confusion.

"Okay," she drawls, "technically, sure, in the same way that you can trim back your claws and have them grow back eventually, but it's still not the same as just taking off your damn cape and washing it when someone playfully gets antifungal spray on it-"

"I feel as if I may be missing some context," Damien murmurs, and Rilla rolls her eyes as Arum chuckles low.

"Not important," she says, waving a hand absently through the air before she settles beside Damien again and lifts the razor into her hands. She angles his jaw with her other hand, then presses her fingers beside his ear as she angles the blade, and a few feet away Arum makes a small, confused noise.

Damien blinks, and Rilla pauses to glance towards Arum as well. His eyes narrow at the attention, but his frill still flutters uncertainly by his neck as he watches the pair of them with clear confusion.

"Part of your grooming routine involves scraping a blade against your skin, now?" he asks, dubious, a flash of alarm in the violet of his eyes, and Damien feels affection thrum hot in his lungs as Rilla gives a gentle laugh at the lizard's expense.

"Very, very carefully," Rilla amends. "But... yeah? Pretty much. We could just trim it back, but Damien wants a proper shave, so."

"Hrm," the monster says, obviously unconvinced as his eyes narrow further.

"Do you wanna help out?" Rilla asks, drawing her hands and the razor back away from Damien's skin altogether, and Arum blinks, the dubiousness in his expression instantly replaced with a flustered sort of panic.

"Ah- well, I- certainly I should- should leave it in your hands, I think, Amaryllis, I don't-"

"It's not that hard," Rilla says, her tone casual and easy. "I know you're good with a blade."

His frill swoops, half-flaring out before it sinks to flutter by his neck, almost distracting from the way Arum's face twists into a wince. "Not in this particular context, Amaryllis," he says quickly. "I- I am not adept in using a blade to do anything except to draw blood, I-"

Rilla leans towards him, taking his wrist gently in her free hand and rubbing her thumb soothingly across the scales over his pulse. He makes a small noise at that, a gentle whirring at the back of his throat as the tension in his shoulders eases just a little, and then Rilla presses the handle of the razor into Arum's hand, her mouth curling into a smile. "C'mon. You'll be fine, I promise."

"Amaryllis-"

"It's alright," Damien says gently, his face feeling rather hot beneath the lather. "You- if you are uncomfortable, clearly you need not... you should not feel that we are forcing you. I would-"

"You are not forcing anything, honeysuckle, it is only-" Arum snaps his mouth shut, then glances down at the razor in his hand suspiciously, as if it might misbehave. "I don't... it is only that it seems... a rather large degree of... of..."

"Trust?" Rilla finishes after a moment, her tone surprisingly gentle, and Arum jerks his eyes up towards her, his expression going entirely still.

Damien's ribcage feels too small, his heart wreathed in heat as he recognizes the nervous tension curling the corners of Arum's mouth. Trust-

Of course it is rather a large choice, to press a blade into the hands of a monster, to close his eyes and bare his throat and simply trust.

It is as large a choice as a monster tossing his own blades aside into the mud, hoping that the human in front of him will choose to stay.

"Rilla can show you," Damien says, keeping his volume low so as to prevent his voice from shaking. "I have seen your clever fingers work, Lord Arum. I know that you are more than capable of the task, if you would be so kind as to offer your assistance."

He glances towards Rilla, and she flashes a warm sort of grin in agreement and nods quickly. "You can just watch, if you're really, actually not comfortable. I know I can be pushy, but Damien's right. I wouldn't want to-"

"If- if you think that I..." Arum trails off, then exhales a vague hiss. "If you- trust that I can. That I won't- won't..."

"I trust that I can teach you what to do," Rilla says with a shrug and a smirk, but her eyes are fond and warm as Arum gives her a look that Damien would describe as a pout.

"I trust you," Damien offers, smiling very slightly and lifting a hand to brush his fingers down the scales of Arum's forearm. "I know you'll be careful."

"I have cut you before, honeysuckle," Arum reminds, his voice soft enough that Damien cannot quite pluck out the feeling beneath the words.

Damien smiles, curling his fingers around Arum's wrist and drawing it closer. "Once," he says, his voice quite low. "Only once, and I know that you would never willingly do so again."

Arum's eyes flick between his own, vivid and soft, and then he exhales with a hesitant sort of smile, his chest rumbling with that low, inhuman purr that Damien is growing very quickly to adore.

"Ridiculous," Arum murmurs, unconvincing and fond, and then he sighs and raises his eyes towards Rilla again. "Very well. Show me, then."

Rilla grins again, something of the fox in the curve of it, and she guides Arum's hands to gently angle Damien's head.

She instructs him firmly and carefully, her hand curled around his own scaled one and guiding for the first few strokes, showing the lizard the proper way to hold the blade, the correct angle, the slow downward stroke, and Damien-

Both of their attention so keen upon him feels like too much altogether, the intensity of their eyes making his heart hammer fast in his chest, and after the first stroke of the razor he allows his eyes to slip closed. Rilla's fingers tilt his face gently where she needs, and then Arum's cooler, more delicate touch supplements her own intermittently.

Rilla guides Arum more directly to outline the shape of Damien's goatee, and then again when they tilt his head back to draw the razor down beneath his jaw, her low monologue of instruction both methodical and gentle. Arum, for his part, remains mostly silent with the exception of small noises of acknowledgment, accompanied beneath by his subtle rumbling purr as his uncertainty fades.

Damien blinks his eyes open when Rilla maneuvers him forward to rinse his face after the first pass, and then she shows Arum how to lather him for the second, meticulously explaining each step as they go.

Damien watches Arum's face this time, utterly enthralled by the depth of the focus readily apparent in his expression as he draws the blade so utterly careful against Damien's skin.

Arum only notices his gaze just as he is about to finish, and the monster exhales with a worried flick of the tongue before he glances towards Rilla, a silent inquiry that makes her smirk, and then she reaches to grip his wrist again to help him with the finishing touches.

Arum leans him forward this time to rinse his face ("Cold water for this one," Rilla chirps helpfully), and then Rilla gently pats the balm into his cheeks, leaning close enough to place a playful kiss on the tip of his nose, making both himself and Arum laugh in tandem.

Arum helps him to his feet, then, and he reaches up carefully, ghosting his hands over Damien's newly bare cheeks without quite touching him, his expression utterly focused, utterly enraptured.

"There you are, honeysuckle," Arum murmurs, and then he brushes his thumb gently down the stripe of hair left on Damien's chin. He repeats the motion with a subtle smile, and this time Damien kisses the pad of his thumb, and the monster exhales in surprise. "Ah-"

"Thank you for the assistance, Lord Arum," Damien whispers against Arum's scales, and the lizard flicks his tongue before he slips his hand further up, cupping Damien's cheek properly.

"Yeah, no kidding," Rilla says with a grin, clearly enjoying the way that Arum's frill flares with his embarrassment. "Thankyou."

Arum wrinkles his snout, but his expression softens again when Damien lifts a hand to cradle Arum's own against his cheek. "I... yes, I- I suppose it wasn't all that difficult, after all. With proper instruction."

"Told you," Rilla chimes, still smiling, and then she leans to press a tender sort of kiss to Damien's other cheek, humming lightly.

"And... you didn't mind, honeysuckle?"

"Mind?" Damien repeats, and Arum ducks his head, his frill fluttering again.

"Rather- it doesn't- it isn't a bother to have me- to have us-"

Damien laughs helplessly, utterly baffled that Arum might think he would find his and Rilla's assistance a bother, and then he pulls Arum's hand down, so he can cradle it in both of his own and press it over his heart instead.

"Oh," he says, trying to sound less breathless than he feels. "You- oh, Arum-"

Arum makes another flustered noise, glancing away with the folds of his frill flushing a darker purple. "Honeysuckle-"

"My only concern is how completely overwhelmed I feel to have the attention and hands of yourself and Rilla both so intently upon me, all while I cannot even speak my heart for fear of impeding your delicate care, my darling monster, oh-"

Rilla laughs fondly at his rambling, and Arum blinks for a moment before his frill settles again, his expression going pleased and embarrassed both.

"Well..." he says slowly, and then he presses his palm more firmly over Damien's heart. "That explains this racing, here, I suppose, if our attention... overwhelms you. I was concerned that you- that you- were afraid I would- cut you."

Rilla snorts incredulously as Damien exhales a pained noise, and then he leans forward, still holding Arum's hand to his chest as he presses his face into Arum's neck.

"Oh-" he feels his throat going tight, and he shakes his head lightly against Arum's scales to fight the feeling back. "Rilla is right, you are completely absurd, Arum- I-"

"We trust you, Arum." She folds her arms over her chest, giving Arum a fond, exasperated smile. "I thought that was pretty obvious by now? Saints but you're dense sometimes. I know you trust us, or we wouldn't be here in the Keep, so why wouldn't it be mutual?"

Arum growls, glaring at Rilla over Damien's head, and then he sighs, lowering his face so he may press his own cheek against Damien's, flicking his tongue out beside his ear before he murmurs. "Old habits, I suppose. It is... hard to believe my good fortune, at times, with the pair of you."

Damien tilts his head to the side, kissing Arum's jaw, and then his cheek when the lizard exhales a pleased little breath.

"Well," Rilla says warmly, "maybe you'll be used to it by the next time Damien needs help shaving, yeah?"

Arum raises his head again with a laugh, and Damien feels Rilla's hand drift down his back as she leans to kiss Arum over his shoulder.

Arum lifts his hands to Damien's face, then, tilting his chin up so he may grace Damien with a kiss as well, the thin scaled line of his mouth pressing against Damien's lips with delicate care before he meets Damien's eyes with an affectionate smile.

And with Arum's cool palms cupping his tender cheeks, with Rilla's warm hand on the small of his back, Damien knows with utter certainty that he has entrusted his heart to the most worthy care in the world.

~

End Notes:  bless wikihow articles i have never shaved a face in my goddamn life, let alone with a straight razor

[kevindayscrown]

Why Kevin Day is the most in-depth character in the All For the Game series

An essay by a Kevin stan, so you know it's at least 70% biased

Hello, hello everyone, welcome to another session of me, brainwashing you about the amazingness of Kevin Day. In this short essay, I'll discuss how our number Queen asshole striker is, in fact, not just a whiney bitch, but one of the most key characters in the AFTG series. I'll also discuss how Nora pretty much did him dirty and how much I appreciate the fandom for doing him better.

I've decided that it will be much easier to take things chronologically, so I can delve deeper into what makes Kevin the character whose stans won't shut up about.

Unlike the rest of the characters in the series, Kevin started off in a somewhat stable family condition. He was brought up by his mother, Kayleigh, but still probably had to live with the title 'Son of Exy' from the moment he was born. We've all witnessed what being on the spotlight from a young age has done to child stars. Kevin, upon growing up, would start feeling the burden of a whole legacy created by his mother. Because Exy, despite being a bastard sport, has a large fanbase around the US, and possibly further - since it's mentioned that it's also an Olympic sport.

It wouldn't be a surprise that Kevin more than likely looked up to his mother and wanted to play Exy for her. Suddenly though, Keyleigh died in a car accident (if it was even a car accident; knowing the Moriyamas, it could had been done on purpose) and left Kevin in the care of Tetsuji Moriyama, the head of one of the yakuza's branches, and his now adoptive brother Riko.

Let's be honest, both of them were just kids. They only had each other, so it was really easy to get attached. Kevin has lost his mother at this point and Tetsuji is not exactly a proper father figure, so Kevin had to cling on Riko. Despite us seeing him in the main timeline being an asshole who snaps at everyone, his willingness to submit into the position of 'number 2' even if he's better than Riko, shows how much he depends emotionally on people. Riko and Kevin had to meet certain expectations, had fans from a very young age, and Neil even mentions that he literally witnessed Kevin grow up from media outlets and coverages. Kevin had to stick close to the only other person who's going through the same thing.

As a result, it was easy for Kevin to focus on what he's taught to believe; he should aim for the stars, he should be good, great, but never the best. Because Riko is the best. Kevin accepts that.

I hate how people call him a spineless coward just because someone mentions it once in the book. Kevin isn't like Neil. Neil was given a chance to escape. Kevin could never escape Evermore. Even if he did consider it his home, he was still abused on a daily basis. Riko mentions in Raven King, when he's about to torture Neil, that Neil is basically in the same position as Kevin once had been:

People forget that, Kevin probably had to live through what Neil did ever since Riko turned into his fucked up self. Which literally means years of physical and mental abuse, with no hope of escape but the bright future he had ahead of him. So what did Kevin do? He focused on playing.

Stop making Kevin all about being an Exy freak or an alcoholic. Kevin was so obsessed with Exy because it's the only thing he has ever known. He probably couldn't even drink before he escaped Evermore.

Imagine being torn between loving and clinging on the boy you once called brother because it's the only family you've known, and being hurt by him, again and again at a later age, having him shatter all you think you are good at. Riko didn't just break Kevin's hand. He almost took away from him all he thought he had left, and possibly the only way Kevin had of feeling close to his mother.

Kevin loses all he's ever known, and he blames himself for it at first because he thinks it's his fault that he even dared to show he could be better than Riko. He's in pieces and the only thing he does is to cling yet on another person. Aka Andrew. And somehow like this, we come back to the point about Kevin not only being far from an emotionless asshole, but actually being the most emotionally attached character in the series.

Entering the timeline of the books, Kevin appears as the epitome of a narcissistic asshole. It's fair for someone (as a reader) to not like him at first, when we don't know all that much about him. But as the story unravels, a clear distinction is made:

Kevin is not a narcissist. He's egocentric.

Kevin knows and truly believes he's the center of attention. Because, admittedly, he is. The books could had easily had Kevin as the protagonist. Like mentioned before, being raised on the spotlight, has had a tremendous impact on how he sees himself. He's obsessed with what image he's presenting to the public. I don't think he said 'being heterosexual is easier' without a reason. Kevin has led a life full of suppression. He can flash a 'press smile' for the cameras, he can snap and be cold at the Foxes, when in reality, he's suffering from severe PTSD, with panic attacks that he's handling in the worst way possible:

Alcohol. Why? Because the Foxes are all assholes and hypocrites. Don't get me wrong, I love them. But the fact that they just ignored Kevin everytime he had a panic attack and simply thrusted a bottle of vodka his way and called it a day? Inexcusable. Kevin needed a lot more than that.

Oh jeez, I wonder why he didn't tell Wymack he was his father all along.

If I see another person saying that Kevin was an ass for not telling Wymack straight up, I might slap a bitch. Do you think that Kevin would have been able to handle another rejection, another loss of a parental figure? All he did, was in self defense. Yes, it was selfish, but it was probably the only time in his life he could really make a choice on his own.

But you know what? Kevin overcame all this. Maybe and most probably not completely, he will never be able to wash away some stains, but he became more confident and emotionally independent. He detached himself both from Riko and from Andrew, and became the best striker in the history of Exy.

One of the reasons why I love Neil and Kevin - especially Kevin - is because their healing journeys are more fleshed out than Andrew's. But in this case, Kevin's was not really given the attention it deserved, it happened on the side lines and he had to do it alone. Neil had the foxes, had Wymack and Andrew. Kevin had no one, because the foxes, despite being assholes themselves, kept dismissing him and his problems. I really do believe that, in the first drafts when Kandreil was canon, Nora had potentially explored his character more. I wish we had gotten that instead of this sloppy attempt to squeeze in his ark along with Neil's.

I'll end this with some highlights that also showcase how badass Kevin is. He's a mess, but he does grow some spine when he finally becomes his own person:

Oof, if you actually read through this, thank you for tolerating my probably incoherent thoughts. I actually barely scratched the surface of my thoughts on Kevin's character but for now, this will do.

[ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr]

WandaVision Episode 8 spoilers

Ok I heard this episode is sad so I’m prepared to cry and ruin my eyeliner.

I’m just emotionally preparing myself rq before I start I’m assuming a lots gonna go down cause the second episode is the finale.

I’m still not ready 2 minutes later lmao wait.

Okay hmm the title is called Previously On so we’re going back in time to her childhood based on the summary.

I think we’re gonna get more insight on her and Visions relationship and how it formed and hopefully get to see her relationship with her brother I’m starting now.

Ugh my TV is glitching

Okay we’re starting out in witch trials so it’s Agathas backstory the lady staring at her looks familiar. Oh it’s her mom

Her powers are blue here she’s into dark magic and the book in her basement is the stolen book from Doctor Strange im assuming she began learning dark magic from it l.

As they started to drain her. Her powers became blue and she starting to drain them back. I’m assuming the witches shared power and it was blue and now that it’s dark magic it’s purple.

Wow she killed her whole coven my draining them of their life and magic. Then she took her mother’s amulet so that’s the amulet she’s always wearing from the comics is. 

She admitted her thoughts weren’t available and she was never under control.

Her accent is back because she’s angry because of her children being missing.

She possessed the fake Pietro from another universe she didn’t say he was from another universe she just said she couldn’t get to his body so she had to do possession instead of necromancy.

She picked up the fly now she’s chanting in Latin

She’s mind controlling and talking about how thousands of people can be under your control and all interact with each other with complex storylines which makes me think she wants Wanda power because she’s jealous she can do everything like transformation and mind control without having to study all the spells

“Magic on autopilot,” Dhe wants to know how she did this and she wouldn’t tell her and now she’s manipulating her with her own loneliness. She took a piece of her hair so now she has her DNA 

Real reruns aka memories so she can look into them to see how she did it.

Her kids are crying out for in the basement so she’s gonna go with Agatha to save them I honestly don’t think the cries were her own.

OHHH MY GOD

All the movies her parents were going to sell were the decades and movies she did projected.

When Wanda walked into the memory she turned into her younger self,

The Dick Van Dick show is in the TV shape of the one Darcy used on the first episode so we know where she got her inspo for that one.

Everything outside makes me think this is the scene where her parents die.

The Stark bomb just hit and she’s looking around and can’t find her family yeah the Stark industry label is in front of her and she’s reverted back to Sokovian because she’s young and not the best at English yet I’m assuming.

The TV I’d still on and playing the show “At the end of the episode you realize it was all a bad dream,” I’m not sure why she said that part in English maybe because she’s referring to the show and movie nights are for English? 

Agatha is asking if she used a probability hex to stop the bomb because Wanda reached her hand out towards it and that’s how she uses her powers.

Maybe Agatha is hinting towards Wanda being a natural born witch?

“So what I see here a baby witch obsessed with sitcoms and years of therapy ahead of her. Doesn’t explain your recent hijinks,”

Wanda used her powers subconsciously there and she’s probably using her powers subconsciously to keep Westview running and she used them subconsciously to get it started. 

“The only way forward is back,”

She’s referring to Wanda not wanting to go back to Hydra I haven’t seen the scene yet but I’m assuming it’s because the testing was painful and because she now knows who hydra is and what it stands for.

“Don’t be scared you already lived it once,”

They have Loki’s sceptor of course im assuming they got it from SHIELD since they are SHIELD.

She didn’t have to touch the sample it just came to her on its own further proving she’s a witch but I don’t think she knows she moved it,

She touched the tesseract making the mine stone she then absorbed all its energy and passed out.

In isolation she’s watching another sitcom I just can’t figure out which it is.

I’m sure the episode on the TV is important “she hasn’t got any feeling,” maybe it’s about the Westview citizens or maybe it’s about vision being a doll or like a puppet and the brother is like “she hasn’t got any feelings” just like when Pietro or Fietro called Vision a popsicle an inanimate object 

“So little orphan Wanda got up close and personal with an infinity stone that amplified what otherwise would’ve died on the vine. The broken pieces of you are adding up buttercup I have a theory but I need more,” This is probably talking about how if you don’t use your powers or learn to control them you stop having them but the infinity stone just made the powers she already had stronger. The name Scarlett Witch is starting to make sense now. 

Another door another memory that I’d her watching Malcom in the middle.

She said the Avengers compound was the first home she had ever shared with Vision and with her family and country gone she felt alone so I’m assuming she’s with Vision cause he cured her loneliness.

Vision walking through the walls again she asking him to watch the sitcom with her. The sitcoms are important to her and she’s sharing them with him.

“So it is funny because of the grievous injury that man just suffered?” Vision

“No he’s not really injured,” Wanda

“How Can you be sure?”

“It’s not that kind of show,”

I think this is sort of related to the fact that nothing bad ever happens in Westview permanently like in Malcolm in the middle where the roof structure fell on the dad sure he got hurt but it wasn’t a detrimental injury.

He wants to comfort to her “The only thing that would bring me comfort is seeing him again,” Wanda about Pietro she felt the same with Vision hence why Westview is happening and why he’s back.

“I’m so tired, It’s just like this wave washing over me again and again it knocks me down and when I try stand up it just comes for me again and I can’t- it’s just gonna drown me,” How she explains her grief and depression we’re getting a glismpe of how she copes with death in her actual reality.

Vision says he’s always been alone he never experienced loss because he never had a loved one to lose.

“What is grief if not love preserving,” Okay damn Vision getting all deep.

Aww they just had a moment and now he’s laughing over the show how sweet. The awkward smile they did at eachother. How cute

Vision was dead and she wanted him back now we get to see how she stole Visions body back from her perspective.

All the news on the TV playing might not be revelant but it’s related to tamiles being reunited after the blip. So this is very shortly after the blip and some people might be right thinking it was almost directly after Tony’s funeral.

“He deserves a funeral at least I deserve it,”

They’re letting her take him probably to be able to paint her as a villain which is why Hayward cut out the first part of the footage.

She’s being shown him take apart and sawed she’s in pain seeing him practically dying again. Hayward called vision a weapon and Wanda is saying he’s not a weapon because he wasn’t and he didn’t want to be a weapon Hayward is hiding his true intentions of bringing him back to be his own weapon

“I just want to bury him. That’s all I want,”

She said she can’t do that she truly believes she can’t.

He won’t let her take $3 billion of vibranium to put in the ground she just wanted him to have a proper burial but Hayward provoked her and set her off.

She can’t feel him. A nod to how Vision said “I only feel you,” When he asked Wanda to kill him there is nothing left. She hot in the car and went to Westview she left and when she left she didn’t have Visions body.

She’s pulled up to place where she planned to grow old in with Vision and it’s been demolished this is the scene where she breaks down crying over it. And when she grieved she lets it get the best of her which is how she put the house back together without realizing she was doing it. Then that spread over the whole town and she is projected her own version of Vision. But I’m unsure if this is really Vision or not because then she’d be way more powerful than I ever believe to be able to create people own her own.

Oh wow she’s showing all the lights and it’s like she’s own set so she’s back to where Agatha had this all set up and she was the audience.

Agatha is choking the twins “I know what you are. You have no idea how dangerous you are. You’re supposed to be a myth. A being capable of spontaneous creation. and here you are using it to make breakfast for dinner.” Maybe Wanda was a prophecy before hand and she just never learned how powerful she really was and now Agatha is trying to feed off her powers I’m assuming she’s going to try to get Wanda to push her powers into her so she can drain her.

“Let go of my children,” Wanda with her accent coming back.

“Oh, yes your children and Vision and this whole little life you’ve made, this is Chaos magic Wanda. That makes you the Scarlett Witch,” Ugh yes one of those moments where they say a name of the movie or a character that’s basically it’s own movie I love it.

I’m gonna research Chaos magic and then I’ll reblog this again after I research some other things too.

End credits time. “Team is ready for launch,” They’re going to use Wanda own power to attack her using Visions actual corpse. He’s been brought back as the one thing he didn’t want to be. A weapon. I’m not sure who that was who powered it up but was it Monica’s contact?

Also doesn’t Agatha have Monica now if she was possessing Fietro? I have a lot of questions that I can’t get out right now

[viroro-kun]

My Review of the Pokémon Sun & Moon Anime (2019)

[The following post is a repost of a thread originally published on Reddit in November 17th, 2019, titled “My final review of the Pokémon Sun & Moon Anime”, which I’m sharing here again for archival purposes. I may eventually do a new one and this post is meant to only reflect my thoughts at the time. It will also not be updated with later information to keep it consistent with the original] About two weeks ago, the Sun & Moon series of the Pokémon Anime concluded after a run of three years, ending up as what's probably one of the most controversial entries of the show, with fans either loving it as a fresh take on the series or disliking it for several issues that cropped up over time. Now, after reviewing the series for the length of the aforementioned three years and at the eve of the beginning of the newer series, I'd like to pass my personal, final judgement of the Alolan series. Now, first of all, I think a preamble is necessary: all of what I will explain is my opinion and nothing else, and this isn't meant to be senseless bashing of the Sun & Moon series, either. I treasure striving to be objective and analytical above all else, and while I of course can't claim mine will be an absolutely perfect and objectively correct review, I will do my best to share my thoughts on the matter, while explaining why I feel this specific way.Secondly, I'd like to address an argument I've occasionally seen brought up, that due to Sun & Moon's seeming focus on comedy and slice of life it's not possible to compare it to previous seasons. And while that may apply for some specific choices it made, I don't believe that's the case: it was still set in a new region of the Pokémon world, still had Ash undertake the local region-wide challenge, still had a structure involving unimportant self-contained episodes (which we could call 'filler' in an useful but technically inaccurate definition) surrounding the plot-based ones, and still ended up with a League at a climax for it all. Therefore, at least on a structural and plot standpoint, there are enough commonalities to make a comparison possible, and that's where I plan to dig in particular to explain my stance.

Before I move to the meat of it, however, I want to spend some words of praise for some things I feel this series did right or at least deserves some compliments for, overall. First of all, I think that Sun & Moon does great in mantaining a chill, comfy atmosphere which to a degree makes it stand out from previous seasons, and I understand why this was appealing for some previous fans of the series. Most of the cast is pretty likable on the whole with particular props to Ash's Alolan Pokémon team managing to mantain lots of expressivity in all situations, and the series has a decent willingness to explore some concepts previous seasons only lightly touched on. The show also foregoes a lot typical Team Rocket shenanigans for different kinds of plots, making it great for people who find their usage stale and played out by now, and the simplified art style allowed for some pretty good sequences both in battle and out. At its best, the series can produce some of the best moments of this Anime as a whole, and it was at least the first series to let go of some limitations that were just weighting the show down at this point. While I think several of these pros also have indirect cons attached to them (especially in terms of tone and character usage), these are all things I feel need to be pointed out in positive for the series.With that said, I'd like to begin my proper dissection of the Pokémon Sun & Moon Anime.

Pokémon Sun & Moon - A Pokémon Anime in an Identity Crisis

1. Plot Pacing and Development: The Problem of the Stationary Setting and the "Happy Bubble"

Everyone who has heard of the Sun & Moon Anime is probably aware of its biggest break from tradition: rather than being an adventure series, this entry in the long-running Pokémon series decided to take place in a single location with occasional detours by having Ash enroll in the Pokémon School, shifting the general tone of the series towards a more slice of life approach. This had a significant effect on how the story developed, but in my opinion, if there's a fundamental issue of the Sun & Moon series, it's probably this one. Because rather than committing to the change, the writers appeared to want to have their cake and eat it too.

Specifically, adventure series and slice of life have radically opposed mission statements: for the first, progression and rising action are an important, consistent story engine moving the plot forward; the second is instead far more laidback, focused more on enjoying the moment and offering low stakes and drama more often than not, especially Sun & Moon's chosen brand of it that's closer to a sit-com than a proper slice of life. Pretty much, adventure series have a degree of development in them, while slice of life is defined by the lack of said development.

Now, I'm not saying Pokémon characters were always amazing examples of character development, or that every series prior was well-written. But the structure itself was sound, as you had Ash embarked in a defined goal of winning the League as part of his vague dream to become a Pokémon Master, having filler adventures on the way, but always undertaking rising action from the first to last Gym and occasional rivals, until the climax of the journey at the League (and in Kalos' case, the Team Flare arc). We see Ash, and occasionally his friends, actively train, fight or improve on the path to their goals, while the narration itself always reminds us of what the current major objective is. Even when the episode doesn't actually contribute to the larger story, the viewer always has a reassurance that the next objective will be reached eventually.

The structure of Sun & Moon, by comparison, is inherently more passive more often than not, as you have Ash and the others waiting for the plot to happen to them. Instead of having Ash actively seek a new challenge, you see him sitting down and wait for something specific to make him go and progress, and so does everyone else, with only rare exceptions. The characters are effectively static until the plot decides to move them, and while this could superficially resemble the previous structure (as both have a progression that could be defined as arbitrary), the Sun & Moon series barely, if ever, reassured the viewer to still remember the goals it set up, or even what the next one to come is.

Now, inherently, the characters being passive recipients of plot isn't a bad thing, it's just how slice of life stories tend to work. The problem of Sun & Moon, however, was that beyond the vague and SoL-friendly concept of Ash at the Pokémon School they still had Ash pursue the Island Trials (and in fact, he's impressed by the concept of mastering Z-Moves before he even enrolls in the school), which gave the show a problem: it wanted to be a chill story focusing more on small time hijinks than big adventures, while still taking on a structure that demanded to follow the rules of an adventure series, creating an inherent contradiction.

What I mean is that, since the Island Trials were still part of Ash's stay in Alola, the show was still supposed to abide to the rising action leading to a climax, giving the show a direction that it had to fulfill by its end rather than have an open premise with occasional plotlines (example: GeGeGe no Kitaro, where the open premise is 'Kitaro deals with evil Yokai' with every other longer plotline spinning from there). It's something that pretty much prevents the viewer from fully enjoying the more quiet romps, because in the mind of a viewer expecting progression, these are just a diversion over the more important goal Ash has in the region. Now, in fairness to Sun & Moon, the show seemed aware of the tension and made sure to tie each Trial Ash did into either school trips or wanting to get specific Crystals, but beyond making it seem like Ash didn't care much for something he claimed he wasn't interested in (especially with wanderlust being a previously estabilished character trait of his), this ran into another big issue of Sun & Moon: rather than a sense of rising action, pretty much every Island Trial Ash did was narratively unrelated to each other, especially once it was revealed that Ash didn't need to complete any of them to access the Alola League, in contrast with how every badge was important and necessary in previous regions.

This specific issue wasn't however unique to Ash, but rather a persistent problem in pretty much every element and story arc of the series: be it Ash's quest, Guzma's struggles, Rowlet's rivalry with Hau's Dartrix/Decidueye, Lycanroc's rage issues, Lillie's goal to be able to touch every Pokémon again, the Necrozma and Aether arcs to even the Alola League and anything in between, almost all of them had only the bare minimum of buildup and either ended as soon as they got teased or happened to be sidelined for a large amount of episodes before they got their due focus, if not both at once. While some of these arcs ranged from alright to pretty great (Litten's pre-capture arc dealing with Stoutland's passing, or the Guzma-related segments of the Alola League), there are quire a few (chiefly Necrozma) that were ruined by a combination of lacking setup work and the feeling that, simply put, nothing mattered that much. Sure, the arcs could be mentioned here and there, and some can set up things for the future (like how Aether leads to the Ultra Guardians), but on the whole, the arcs are effectively done-in-one in terms of lasting impact. Unlike how in previous shows you could've had stuff like Ash's and Dawn's intertwined journeys, here you have Stoutland lose relevance in terms of influence to Litten as soon as he dies, where save for Stoutland brief cameo as a spirit on Poni Island his storyline got shifted in the unrelated rivalry with Kukui's Incineroar.

This last example, in particular, brings up another of the big issues of Sun & Moon, one that can be divided in three parts: plot pacing, plot segregation, and the "happy bubble".

In regards to plot pacing, one of the most notorious problems brought up for this series is the fact that, to put it simply, each plotpoint will only progress when the show decided they have to, which led to things like Lillie going almost an entire real time year between getting her Z-Crystal and then her Z-Ring, or Ash doing absolutely nothing about his Lycanroc's raging issues for getting dirty for close to thirty episodes before they happened again in the Ula'Ula arc, during which neither character gave any hints of even thinking about these lingering elements in any way even if it was clear setup to be followed on. This, coupled with the aforementioned lack of a constant reminder of the next destination, just made for a frustrating waiting game in terms of the next major point of progression.

A related issue is the plot segregation, or specifically, how each major arc is effectively removed from the others, from Kiawe and Sophocles' occasional focus episodes to more important stuff like Lillie's Pokémon phobia, her and Gladion's later interest in finding their father, Lana's desire to create a balloon to explore the ocean with, Ash's Island Trials, and so on. It made these characters feel like they exist in their own separate paths, never to intersect, something the evolution episode in the Poni Island arc somewhat exemplifies since Sophocles' and Lana's efforts happen on completely distinct plotlines and locations. As I explained above this also happens with major arcs, like how the Necrozma arc's only contribution to the wider narrative was sending Poipole home (and given its later offscreen evolution and power up, one could make a case the arc had a negative impact on the series). The segregation also had the effect of having the plot act like something flat out doesn’t exist unless it has been directly showcased, leading to such goofiness as Kukui's best friend Molayne not being invited at his wedding in spite of being Sophocles' cousin, or how absolutely no one was in Poni Island during the Manalo Festival buildup. A good example of the difference, I feel, is this: in previous series, we could've had Serena relate to Ash with her Master Class loss at a significant point of his character arc during the Winding Woods episode; in this one, Mallow only revealed her mother issues after Lillie's entire arc revolving around her mother was resolved, with the two never comparing notes. The closest we get is Ash relating to Lana for his problems with Lycanroc using Continental Crush in Ida's first episode and Lillie trying to help out Ash during his fallout with Rotom, both of which refer to things that happened to them either mostly offscreen or entirely there.

The plot segregation was, in particular, noticeable with the decision to associate three of Ash's Alolan Pokémon (Torracat, Dusk Lycanroc and Rowlet) to specific characters as rivals, with the Pokémon driving the rivalry rather than Ash himself (who had otherwise rather civil, mostly friendly interactions with Kukui, Gladion and Hau). On paper, this should've guaranteed that every Pokémon had their moment to shine, but effectively, it meant that each of them were restricted to mostly their specific rival in terms of focus post-Aether. Lycanroc got Olivia's Grand Trial, the Ula'Ula arc to itself and then the rivalry with Gladion's Midnight Lycanroc, but no other significant usages; Rowlet got roles in the first two Grand Trials, but then spent almost one hundred episodes before its second focus episode, and beyond his friendship with Meltan it only got Hau's battle and a part against Kukui to itself; Torracat was the one absolutely done dirty here, as beyond the Stoutland appearence in Poni Island and the Totem Lurantis battle pre-Aether, all his following focus moments rely on the rivalry with Kukui's Incineroar, with only occasional minor scuffles to its name and a bit of the Guzma battle to its name. That would already be bad enough, but the fact that until the League there's no battle that requires Ash to involve more than two Pokémon (with most of them requiring him only one), Ash's team never actually gets to act as a team until the very final battle of the series, furthering the lacking sense of cohesiveness. Year two of the series was particularly bad in this sense, as most major battles were fought with either Pikachu or Lycanroc while Torracat and Rowlet barely did much.

And lastly, one persistent result of both the plot pacing and the plot segregation was a phenomenon I like to refer to as the "happy bubble," or the tendency of the Sun & Moon series to confine major conflicts and bad moments for the characters only to their specific focus episodes. In previous shows, you could have moments of self-doubt or worry linger even outside dedicated episodes (Dawn's depression for her losing streak, Ash's rivalry with Paul affecting him, and his increasing worries in the latter part of XY being clear examples), but due to Sun & Moon's commitment to fun times before everything else, it means the characters aren't allowed to have any conflict or moments of darkness to later conquer unless they're the focus, and even then resolving them quickly. See how bubbly Lillie is even when she's scared of Pokémon unless the episode is specifically about her, how she never even thought about her father until Gladion reminded her, how Ash's confidence and his relationship with Lycanroc are only focused on in Ula'Ula and then never again, and most noticeably the fact Mallow's dead mother was treated as something that tore her for years but it was only ever directly dealt with in one episode, to the point she's the only family member on Bulbapedia listed under characters of the day. The problem of this bubble is that it pretty much makes it hard to invest in the emotional struggles of these characters because they end up feeling like throwaway moments which are then functionally forgotten, with no sense of constant growth. Characters get their moments, the audience gets invested, and then it's forgotten, with only few and far-in-between moments of exception, and that's another thing making each conflict feel segregated from each other.

If I could sum up everything in one sentence, I'd say this: Sun & Moon is composed by a myriad of pieces, some excellent, some average, some awful and everything in between, that all exist mostly in a vacuum. I'll return to this topic in a bit, as there's another important aspect to touch first.

2. Characters and Their Development: Too Many, Too Little, Too Late

Another aspect of Sun & Moon that's often brought up is the decision to have a main cast of six counting Ash, with the game Trial Captains Mallow, Lana, Kiawe and Sophocles alongside plot-important character Lillie turned into Ash's classmates. These characters have been as much a point of praise as they were of criticism, with some fans absolutely loving this group while others couldn't absolutely stand them. I feel the best way to tackle this is to first list how I feel each character was handled in terms of planning and development, before going into their relationships and the rest of the cast, starting with the humans and then going through Ash's Pokémon before closing on Ash himself. I will say to start with, however, that none of these characters is inherently unlikable the way they started as, and most of their later issues came solely from their handling down the line or flaws in how they were approached.

2.1) The companions

Among the companions, Sophocles was probably the one that made the poorer first impressions, as beyond sharing the same type specialty, his game background as an inventor and his Anime presentation as a programmer that sometimes built things gave him a number of unfair comparisons with Clemont, not helped at all by an introduction episode that ranks among the worst ones of this group. That said, I feel by the end he actually ended up being one of the best characters of the group in spite of heavily scattered focus, for one major reason: he's one of the few characters of this group to have a consistent character growth that plays in his dream and that's easily noticeable as the story unfolds. Early on, he starts as the timid, insecure kid that gets easily scared of the dark and needs people and Pokémon's support over everything, but between his first few episodes and the later clarification of his interest in space, it's clear that his development was actually aimed towards him growing into a more independent and confident person and trainer. He goes from being unable to tell his friends that he's not actually leaving Alola after a misunderstanding and only getting his second Pokémon as a gift from Ash to slowly take an interest in rising Charjabug, first with a race and then by evolving it, then deciding to gain a Z-Crystal and a Z-Ring, learning to use it, and ultimately take part in the League in spite of knowing to not be on the same level of his friends, yet still putting his all, with a nice interlude where he takes things into his own hands during the Celesteela mission, and with the race he does to gain his Z-Crystal leading him to confront and surpass his fear of the dark. While still pretty scattered and sidelined, I feel he's a character that's been developed well-enough and that in his post-series aim is actively working towards his dream in a new but productive way by visiting Mossdeep City's Space Center, and definitely my favorite of the Alolan kids as he clearly developed into a better person by the end through a straightforward, traceable progression.

Lana is probably up there with Sophocles in terms of being one of the best characters of this group, and I'd go as far as saying she's probably the best non-Coordinator/Performer Pokégirl out there. While Sophocles ranks high due to getting good personal development, Lana ranks high because, while on paper her dream of creating a big balloon to explore the ocean with is simple and a tad silly, it is something she puts clear effort into and that she never loses track of through the whole series, even with a fairly noticeable void of attention in the mid-series stretch. Between being the first of the non-Kiawe classmates to get a Z-Ring and a Z-Crystal, learning how to use Hydro Vortex, then evolving Popplio to Brionne and then Primarina (while dealing with a Kyogre along the way) while also getting Oceanic Operetta, she's consistently focused on her improvement, and always the best female battler of the bunch. The only thing that really penalizes her is that while her dream is technically achieved, she ultimately gets Oceanic Operetta with offscreen training and they never make a point to highlight that as a big moment, and while her skill development is solid, she remains exactly the same character throughout the series from the first and last episode. An entertaining character for sure, but one that just gets stronger and not much else. Still, she's easily one of the best female leads this series ever had, and a good example of how to make a non-Coordinator-esque female character work well after the pitfalls Misty and Iris fell into.

Kiawe is not far from them, with a pretty solid run slightly marred by a few issues. Specifically, he's probably the best battler of this group that isn't Ash, but he's distinctly characterized as having two "modes" as a character: either the serious, spiritual follower of Alolan traditions, or the one that started popping out more often later in the series where he's an overreacting ham to rival Cilan. I personally feel Kiawe's better moments tends to come from the first mode, not only because he stands out better in a funny sense by being the straight-laced guy in a cast of wacky people, but also because he's the best character to explore the more spiritual angle of Alola, the element that truly makes the region stand out compared to previous ones featured in the series. Unfortunately, beyond the fact the slice of life romps tended to favor his wacky angle more than the serious one, Kiawe is penalized by not quite having a true arc to develop through: he wants to become a stronger trainer and claims so, but all his episodes ultimately end up involving unrelated matters: he catches his Marowak, learns to use a Z-Move with him later on, and ends up getting his Charizard back into working shape after he undertakes Fini's trial to save Ash, but while each of these are overall good showings and he's probably got the best League run of the cast in terms of prowess and skill, they tend to remain isolated instances. It also doesn't help that while his hot-blooded rivalry with Ash can be fairly entertaining and it's teased from episode 2, it ultimately culminates into an underwhelming showdown in the penultimate episode that barely feels like an afterthought. I'd hardly call him a bad character and he still does pretty well even with his issues, but one that could've been handled better on the whole.

A far different story is Lillie, a character that, I feel, suffered from several different issues all at once. To address the elephant in the living room first, let it be said that while they share traits, Anime Lillie and Game Lillie end up being fairly different characters by the end, and while I think Game Lillie is probably one of the best creations of GameFreak, my opinion on her Anime self couldn't be more different, and it's not due to straight comparisons between each other. Now, Lillie doesn't actually start badly: the fact that she has a phobia of touching Pokémon from an unknown source at first actually gave her a nice direction as a character in a way similar yet different from Lana, but it didn't take long for Lillie's major issue to show itself: things happen to her rather than her working towards stuff proactively, and the majority of the time her struggles are resolved by feeling sad or believing really hard with extremely few exceptions. This started already before the Aether arc, where while her episodes were good, they all relied on the exact same formula of Lillie unable to touch Pokémon, being unable to do so and feeling sad about it until she can in a spur-of-the-moment situation, which started to make her episodes feel stale.

The Aether arc seemed to finally change things as it heavily revolved around Lillie, but to anticipate some things I'll delve into more detail later, the changed circumstances ended up weakening both the conflict and her character, making her come across as too unlikable. But beyond that issue, the problem of the Aether arc is that it ensured that Lillie was completely healed of her phobia due to the actions of others rather than herself, which killed off all her character potential and left her with nothing to do for the rest of the series (while the conflict with her mother was completely brushed under the rug after this arc introduced and hastily attempted to resolve it). Sure, she 'grew stronger', and got a Z-Ring and Z-Crystal, but the majority of important things of the Mohn arc were actually dealt with by Gladion, while her own help ended up amounting to still, once more, feeling really hard rather than active work. But the biggest problem of her character is that all of her major achievements derived from either someone else (Silvally healing her phobia by saving her, Gladion actually defeating Totem Kommo-o, her Z-Ring being borrowed from her father, Gladion finding Mohn's Zoroark) or facilitated by outside assistance (her one victory in the League's Battle Royale coming from effectively killstealing a Salamence Kiawe weakened, her battle with Tyranitar having the assistance of a Totem Sandshrew) which made it hard to think she earned her development or truly grow stronger when she ultimately always ended up relying on someone else, especially given her tendency to never act unless prodded (see how she seemed perfectly fine not touching Pokémon for years until Mallow and Ash actively tried to get her to do it, nor try to learn why she has the phobia in the first place, nor thinking about where her father may be). This, alongside the tendency of the series to play up game moments like the Lillie and Solgaleo moment or her change in dress and hairstyle to show her resolve while sapping all the meaning they had in the source material and the habit of the characters to praise Lillie for anything she does no matter how minor or trivial, ultimately made her a character that was borderline insufferable to follow, especially for the classmate pushed as the most important beyond Ash.

The worst of all main characters, however, is without a doubt Mallow. While I have several issues with Lillie's handling as a character, at least her faults come with how the show decided to approach her, while I feel by contrast Mallow was only allowed breadcrumbs of just about anything, something already shown by how she had to wait until episode 18 for her first true focus episode. Back in the earliest episodes I thought her interest in making Aina the most popular restaurant in Alola could've given her a drive as a character similar to the one Lana and at the time Lillie had, only for the story to be content with leaving her where she is. Between the fact her Bounsweet evolved twice in ways that were respectively too sudden and rather unrelated to her and the habit of her focus episodes past her first to focus away from her more than on her (having to share screentime with her brother 'Ulu and Oranguru, specifically), it felt like she was added to the cast because they had to, and while the last year of Sun & Moon tried to put a patch on the problem by giving her emotional moments with her mother and her League match with Lana, said patches had the effect of not feeling very genuine since her mother, as I mentioned above, only really figured in one episode, while Mallow suddenly being afraid of Tsareena getting hurt when she fought in Ultra Space and in other instances just fine just feels like an awkward attempt at giving her an emotional moment that doesn't gel with her characterization too well. If we add onto it that she only mastered her Z-Move during the League itself, her Z-Crystal was gained just by making a burger, and the Shaymin she cared for after meeting her mother effectively did nothing afterwards until its deal was resolved at the last possible second during the final credits of the series because 'Ulu found some Gracidea with no input from Mallow proper, Mallow ended up feeling like the most mishandled characters of this crew, whose character and development felt more like isolated moments than anything cohesive.

The Pokémon of the cast outside of the major ones don't really warrant much talk, the best of the bunch being Kiawe's Marowak for his vibrant personality and good feats, while everyone else ranges from pretty much not too focused on (Turtonator, Charizard, Tsareena, Togedemaru), useful for development but otherwise kinda dull more often than not (Primarina, Vikavolt, Snowy), cute but pointless in spite of heavy buildup (Sandy), and pretty much useless (Shaymin, Magearna outside of being a McGuffin), mostly getting occasional cute moments than anything substantial or productive for their trainers.

2.2) Ash's Pokémon

Beyond the classmates, there's the matter of Ash's Pokémon as well, and I'd like to spend a few words on the Rotomdex. On the whole, he was never the most important character, but I'd say the best way to describe him is that he's a likable character that happened to star in some rather poor episodes: while his overreactions could get annoying sometimes, for the most part he was likable enough, and his existence ensured that Ash would lose his oft-criticized trait to scan Pokémon he already saw that made him come across as dumb, and some of his moments and hobbies made him pretty endearing. His only real problem is that his focus episodes usually tended to focus on rather stupid plots aimed only to comedy, and while three of them are at least arguable, his last true focus episode happened to be one of the worst episodes of the series due to how out-of-character Ash acted under the possibility of Rotom leaving. None of the issues of these episodes were Rotom's fault, but as a minor character, it was somewhat unfortunate for him to receive such a short end of the stick focus-wise.

Going back to Ash's actual Pokémon, beyond the eternal Pikachu, I'd say the one most worth of consideration overall is Torracat (or Incineroar, but he never fought under the form), both in terms of praise and criticism. I say so because, before his capture, Litten seemed to be given unusually large focus, including being the first of Ash's Alolan Pokémon to debut and appearing for several episodes even between his major pre-capture arc, which being among the most tragic and involved capture circumstances seemed to point towards Torracat being the 'ace Pokémon' of the region, only for things to change once Lycanroc entered the picture. To put it simply, Torracat has some rather solid episodes and a personality that very much matches Ash's own, but he often feels like he's only given breadcrumbs of focus. Between only taking part in one minor trial and no Grand Trials, not getting his own associated Z-Crystal until right before the League and having it used only twice counting the test run of it, and his rivalry battle being the only one in the Alola League to happen in the middle of a match rather than at the end of it (which lead to a rather goofy division of him getting declared winner and then fainting after evolving just so it couldn't technically be considered a tie even if it functionally was to preserve his triumph), it feels like the poor Pokémon is never given enough of his due, and while I enjoy his drive to surpass Kukui's Incineroar and especially the way the plotline was figuratively used throughout the Ash VS Kukui battle, it just seems like Torracat is always last in priority in terms of Ash's Pokémon, which makes even his good moments feel like afterthought even with nice bits like his relationship with Lycanroc, especially with how, as touching and well-executed as it was, Stoutland's effect on Torracat is forgotten as soon as it happens, between Fire Fang being mastered exactly one episode later and Stoutland himself only being brought back twice, once as a thought by Ash and only in the second with Stoutland meeting Torracat again in Poni Island, mostly for the purpose of teaching him another move. So, in my opinion, Torracat is a case of a conceptually solid-enough character, that's however penalized both by how little the narrative gave him focus, and the fact that his arc with Stoutland and his later rivalry with Incineroar are pretty much unrelated (for why I consider this a flaw, consider that fellow Fire starter Infernape was able to have a memorably tragic backstory that did dovetail into his major rivalry perfectly, so just asking for a degree of connection isn't outside the realm of what this show can do).

And then there's Lycanroc, the Pokémon that the series wants us to consider the regional ace, which had several issues associated with him. To put this simply, I feel like he was a much better character as a Rockruff than he was after his evolution, mostly for being the perfect mix of adorable, focused, and having actually pronounced rage issues that occasionally popped up but were treated completely seriously, alongside having a pretty good showing in the Olivia battle as a rare final bout to completely not involve Z-Moves in a period where their usage was starting to become excessive. However, after the evolution (which is treated as a rare, one-of-a-kind event due to Rockruff evolving during a rare green flash yet is never actually remarked on beyond very occasional comments that he looks odd that are never treated as much), his handling changes for the worst, specifically for two of his rather ace-worthy moments: its rage form arc, and the way his rivalry with Gladion's Dusk Lycanroc was handled. The first is overall the biggest issue, because it's also symbolic of Sun & Moon's tonal issues since his major challenge to overcome as a Pokémon is the fact that, whenever his fur gets dirty, he goes on murderous rampages, always after acting goofily shocked in a way intended to be humorous, creating a whiplash effect that doesn't make clear how the viewer should find the scene given it first asks us to laugh at Lycanroc and then to be scared of him. This is also only introduced once in the middle of the Aether arc and then never revisited until the Ula'Ula arc, where it's ultimately solved by Ash bringing back memories of how Rockruff used to act about getting dirty that happened completely offscreen, only for the writers to then milk the drama some more two episodes later by now handling the rage mode completely seriously in terms of reactions and using actual rage as the trigger instead of just specifically the fur, in an episode that ultimately relied on Ash not trusting his Pokémon (when he was already somewhat out-of-character by being scared by Lycanroc's rampage after he was willing to hug his blazing Chimchar to calm him down back in Sinnoh). It's all handled in an extremely brief arc and then never again, feeling like an arc that takes elements from both the Infernape and Ash-Greninja arcs while missing the slow buildup and non-regressive development that made those two arcs work (and I'll elaborate more on it in a bit). Beyond this, his rivalry with Gladion's Lycanroc suffers of being extremely sidelined in spite of being the 'major' rivalry of the series: while the two Pokémon did fight three times, the first time was interrupted by Team Rocket (something they stopped doing for major rival battles for quite a while beforehand), the second relying on some very weird resilience by Midnight Lycanroc by not only tanking completely Dusk Lycanroc's Splintered Stormshards to seemingly no damage but also snapping out of confusion to deliver a finishing Z-Move of his own, and the third relying on a battle that was overall not too bad, but felt more like a mid-series squabble than Ash's victory at the Alola League (which is then completely outclassed in spectacle by Ash VS Kukui). Dusk Lycanroc's rivalry isn't actually too bad, but considering how Gladion's Lycanroc is the only major opponent Ash's ace got to fight post-evolution outside the Ula'Ula arc, Kukui's Pokémon (none of which he defeated) and occasional training bout, it did restrict a lot of his feats and ended up with him feeling more like an okay Pokémon than the powerhouse the writing wanted him to seem like. Coupled with a lackluster personal arc, this makes him closer to the Krookodile tier of 'possible aces' than one of the major ones like Charizard or Infernape.

And then we get to Rowlet, the last of the major Alolan four counting Pikachu, and probably the most problematic of the bunch. Much like Torracat and Lycanroc, Rowlet isn't inherently a bad Pokémon, with the first episodes neatly estabilishing two things: yes, he is dopey and loves to sleep a bit too much, but he's also a serious and competent fighter in battle that never fails to impress, making sure that neither side ultimately hurt or diminished the other. His problem is ultimately revolving around two things: he's spent a long time out of focus, and his later focus didn't exactly paint him in a good light. The first is probably the major issue at hand: while both Rowlet and Torracat were heavily sidelined midway into the series, Torracat did at least get a few token episodes to himself, while Rowlet's first real focus episode after his capture one only really comes almost one hundred episodes later. While in the early series this was mitigated by having Rowlet take part in two minor trials and two Grand Trials, this focus is all but forgotten by the second year of the series, with Rowlet reduced to solely a gag Pokémon whose greatest achievement ended up being learning Razor Leaf by sitting on a magical tree. This had the adverse effect of making his gag tries, which previously only showed either in minor matches or not during serious parts of battle, to slowly become more and more prominent. The other issue is that Rowlet had without a doubt the weakest rivalry set up and buildup of the three major Pokémon Ash obtained in Alola, as Hau and his Dartrix only appear in one episode before the League and two of the three battles Ash had with Hau involved major, non-strategy related writing contrivancies to reach the desired outcome (Ash slipping his Grassium-Z and getting distracted to fetch it for Rowlet to lose for the first one; Rowlet's Decidueye hoodie tanking a Z-Move, the overturned loss, and the sudden learning of a Feather Dance that doesn't act like the one Rowlet was trying to master for Rowlet to win in the final one). The way Rowlet acted in the Ash VS Hau battle is kinda emblematic of this, as the oft-debated overturned loss moment involved him falling asleep in the middle a match he was supposedly fired up for just for the sake of a joke and nothing else; regardless of how one wants to justify it, it doesn't change that such a thing never happened before in the series, and it ultimately involved Rowlet betraying the trust Ash put in him just for a scene the writers deemed funny, in what was supposed to be his finest hour (while Rowlet fell asleep in the Hala Grand Trial, it was only after his part of the match ended). Considering also that two of the moves Rowlet learned required the help of his adoptive flock without as much input from Ash and he ultimately ate an Everstone just for a variation of Seed Bomb that turned out to be more a liability than asset throughout the series, not even a cute relationship with Meltan and the fact that he won his last important matches of the series makes up for some of the worst excesses of tonal imbalance and inability to let jokes go in a context that absolutely have no space for his brand of incompetence-based humor.

With the major Alola captures gone, there's just the other two latecomer to discuss, and I'd like to start with Poipole/Naganadel, specifically because he's probably one of the worst handled Pokémon Ash ever owned. While the second year of Sun & Moon had several issues, none are as glaring as Poipole being the major Pokémon of the period, only to not actually do much of actually important. Starting with the fact that Ash only bonds with Poipole by proxy to begin with since Poipole interacts with and loves Pikachu before Ash even actually enters the picture, Poipole's biggest contributions to the series afterwards are acting silly for the majority of episodes and never actually getting involved in serious fights beyond one small bout with the Team Skull trio (which is estabilished as even more pathetic than the Team Rocket trio), making the fact that Ash captured him feel like a waste, especially when his focus episodes dealing more with his emotional side end up being just two, and ultimately not doing much of helpful during the Necrozma arc except leaving at the end in what at the time felt like a rather permanent farewell (as he was stuck in another dimension rather than somewhere Ash can readily access). Now, if Poipole's story ended there, he would've been odd but not too bad all things considered, but the problem comes from the fact that Poipole eventually returned right at the end of the series for no adequately explained in-universe reason during an unrelated Guzzlord attack, not only evolved but also presented as a competent and useful battler in spite of the fact none of it happened either onscreen or by Ash's efforts (unlike how Gliscor and Goodra, Pokémon in similar situations, did prove their worth onscreen before being put aside for a time), making this turn come across as an undeserved boost for Ash just so he could have six Pokémon, alongside removing the beauty of the permanent farewell Ash had with Poipole because the sheer coincidence of Naganadel's arrival and then his departure means that they may as well see each other again in the future. Among Ash's Pokémon in Alola, Naganadel is probably the crowning example of the series wanting its cake and eat it too in terms of wanting to be cute and fun and then rushing to make battles matter without the required buildup.

Meltan shares a lot of issues with Poipole, but overall to a lesser degree, mostly because his biggest problem is just coming way too late in the series and, much like Poipole, he only really bonds with Ash by proxy due to starting to like Rowlet first. Much like Lycanroc, his existence is supposedly important as a new discovery but this trait of his is barely called to attention, and coming too late in the series he only gets a few battles to his name with his contributions mostly amounting to gags rather than skill and serious fighting, alongside having the dubious honor of being the only Pokémon of Ash's Alola team to never use Z-Moves in spite of Ash fetching a Steelium-Z as a result of his final Grand Trial for no other reason than the out-of-universe one that Melmetal has never been in a game where you could use Z-Moves. Adding to the fact that Meltan only evolved right before the League finals for reasons outside Ash's guidance or influence conveniently before the last match for the victory, only to give indirect help at best and then winning a battle against a Pokémon with no feats, it's hard to consider Meltan's power boost earned and even harder to tell if he even had a significant power boost to begin with considering how little feats we have for both him in particular and Alola battles in general. All in all, a Pokémon that's been more shortserved by how late he came than actually any inherent issues.

2.3) Ash, Pikachu, and the Team Rocket trio

And with all those characters breached, we have to move on to the Sun & Moon take on Ash himself, which is, to put it simply, rather complicated to discuss. Another one of Sun & Moon's biggest talking points was the decision to amp up Ash's typical childishness to higher degrees than usual, with even his voice actress Rica Matsumoto confirming in an interview for the next series that she was explicitly instructed to play Ash as younger than usual for the Alolan series. Now, yet again, Ash having a goofier and more relaxed personality is neither unprecedented (as he was always silly to a degree, even in XY) nor inherently bad, and the problems mostly came from how the series decided to handle him later. One good thing at the start was that the take this series seemed to go for was Ash being a battle shonen-esque hero stuck in the wrong genre, with his typical behavior clashing with the more relaxed nature of the setting, which actually worked well in ensuring he didn't feel reset while fitting the new mission statement of the series. The problems really came up with how, ultimately, Ash became the series' biggest target of butt monkey-related humor (with the rest of the cast either being treated far more seriously or only occasionally being given the same treatment) and his initial competence in battling lead the way to an overabundance of 'silly regular kid'-related humor with even battles treated as mostly laughing matters, something later battles and important matches overturned to a degree that started to make Ash's handling feel arbitrary.

And arbitrary is the best way to describe Ash in this series: he can either be as good a trainer and master planner as he always was (Ash VS Olivia, Ash VS Misty, Ash VS Kukui), a heroic young man willing to go to good lengths for people he cares for (Tapu Koko rematch, most of the Guzzlord arc) while being scared and intimidated by his own Pokémon (Ula'Ula arc), a regular kid screwing up on daily tasks and willing to cheat his homework (Sophocles' early focus eps, the open school episode), a whiny little kid (the Stoutland treasure hunt episode, the Rotom farewell episode), a surprisingly thoughtful and serious boy (Stoutland's death episode, Minior episode) and everything in between, with the changes being so jarring that it feels less like this show is attempting a nuanced take on Ash and more like the show is simply not caring to stick to any portrayal depending on what the episode requires, especially when as I said above the entire premise of the show hinges on Ash not falling for his typical wanderlust (which is the inability to sit still for long and explore the world, so 'school and daily life adventures' doesn't cut it) without ever adequately explaining how, and seeming strangely uninterested in looking for new chances to grow stronger unless they happen to come his way. Arbitrary is also a great way to describe his impact on both his friends and the region, where in spite of appearing in every single episode, it often feels like Ash is irrelevant to his own show: he has nothing to do with either of Lillie's family deals, nor Sophocles' growing independency beyond occasional sidelines support and kickstarting it indirectly with the Charjabug gift, he barely did anything to support Lana's achievements beyond being there when they happened, his rivalry with Kiawe was nice but ultimately wasn't given his due, and Mallow and him barely got to have significant interactions throughout the story. Most of his rivalries in the region were carried more by his Pokémon than himself as he only shared amicable relationships with all of his supposed rivals with no real competitivity at their core (aside from Kiawe, which as mentioned was done dirty), and even when he got to be a hero it was either as part of an effort by everyone (Necrozma arc, both Guzzlord instances, technically most Ultra Guardians episodes), relying on questionably justified plot devices (Aether arc, and once again the Necrozma arc), or ultimately moving the focus away from him and his influence when you'd think the story would do the opposite (Guzma's parts in the Alola League). Adding onto that that the amount of times his Pokémon gained moves in the heat of the moment without training (a series staple that previous series tried to downplay with more onscreen training) and how his Pokémon ended up learning moves more for the actions of someone other than him than because he helped them, and Ash's handling in this region really adds up to strangely inconsequential, which is particularly bad considering how the League tried to go the other way, making his eventual achievement at the end feel hollow in the face of lacking buildup in the region and the several boosts and narrative aids he got to get there.

There's also the elephant in the living room that is Ash's development. Early in Sun & Moon I've seen people claim this series was more about Ash developing as a human being than as a trainer, which would be true... if not for the fact stuff like Ash doing chores was also alluded to and shown in previous series like AG and DP, and that during the Alola League (which should be the culmination of the series) none of it is actually remotely involved except for Ash talking of his love for the region during the final attack, while it never actually showed in previous matches (even against Guzma, which should be where this should come up given Ash's declaration at the start of it, the narrative wants us to stay in Guzma's head instead). The 'love for the region' thing also seems weird to bring up to me considering he actually spent less time exploring the region and more being holed up in one city with very occasional detours, with most of the plots ensuing around him being the sort of thing you'd see in "filler" episodes (like taking part in some competitions, taking part in a play, etc). It feels more like the series wants us to pretend the typical filler hijinks now are part of character growth rather than being just small adventures for fun. If we consider that learning to love the region, then Ash didn't really do much of different from previous series beyond sitting still this time around. And ultimately, the fact that Ash is back to adventuring now in a similar way to previous series means that if Ash ends up winning a League again in the future (which is not unlikely now that the ceiling was broken through), none of the reasons given to make his stay in Alola significant would really age well. The only arc that I feel actively tried to develop Ash as a trainer was Ula'Ula, and that still relied on some very significant moments of out-of-character behavior from Ash.

2.4) Relationships, and Everyone Else

I think at this point one recurring issue has cropped up: specifically, there are so many supposedly important characters that none of them truly got their due in terms of focus, either having to be satisfied with a number of focus episodes that barely amount to an arc or with their involvement into things reduced to just their specific deals and barely little else, especially with how this was the first series to not have all of Ash's friends necessarily involved in every episode. I feel this had a pretty adverse effect on the series' dynamics, as the already diluted interactions between the cast due to the large group ended up being even less focused on given that not all the characters were always there. As a result, we barely know stuff like Mallow's or Sophocles' relationship, or Lillie's and Kiawe's, and so on, with their own relationships to each other mostly falling into basic friendship (the ones with Ash in particular mostly falling into respect, friendliness and occasional snark at his expense), with only a few like Kiawe's competitiveness with Ash or Lana and Mallow being revealed halfway in as childhood friends having particular focus, otherwise being content with splitting the cast into 'the boys' group' and 'the girls' group' whenever they needed focused attention, and the rare occasions where the characters had some interactions. For the most part, perhaps emblematically of this series, characters mostly shared moments rather than actual relationships.

All that's left to discuss in this area is the rest of the cast, and let it be said... for a series supposedly about exploring the people of Alola, the majority of the non-main cast ranges from forgettable to rather dull, especially once we move to the lesser recurring characters. Lusamine's reduction to an overworked mother who only gets involved in matters explicitly tied to her children and occasionally the Ultra Guardians missions was a rather noticeable waste of an interesting game character, and while Kukui does have a nice presence and good usage throughout the series, the same can't quite be said of his wife Burnet, who beyond some good presence in the Aether arc and minor bits of exposition when dealing with Ultra Beasts (and in particular Necrozma) is effectively sidelined in housewife position for most of the series as Ash's 'second mother' (a position that, unlike Kukui who actively acts the part, mostly seems to come from cooking for him and being married post-Aether) with most of her funny moments coming from being a Royal Mask fangirl. Wicke has very little going for her, while Faba is probably one of Sun & Moon's worst misfires in that, after making his villainy far worse than his game self, the story acts like he should be forgiven while never actually learning his lesson, in spite of the show telling us he caused trauma to Lillie for years and how most of his contributions to anything end up boiling to minor help at best, and attempting to cheat his way to what he wants (the League) at worst. It's a horrible lessons for kids to have, and I'm not sure what the writers had in mind with this aside from keeping him around because the games' more snively and heinous Faba (even accounting for his more evil USUM iteration) also did.

Then we have the Kahuna, which are for the most part okay bit characters (even if Olivia's take was pretty weird, coming from her game self), with Nanu as the obvious standout even between the issues of the Ula'Ula arc as a jerk trainer with a point that doesn't really get 'taught his place', close enough to his game characterization, and Hapu having a decent track to development in the Poni arc (even if much like Olivia, it sacrificed her game characterization along the way). The other Trial Captains not part of the main cast run the gamut between nice to see but not particularly deep (Acerola, to a degree Ilima) and pretty much borderline pointless (Mina). Ash's rivals are a similar deal, with Hau being nice but having not too much to himself with how late he enters the series, while Gladion is an alright character whose rivalry with Ash mostly suffers of being a tad vanilla: they're on friendly terms, are strong, and like to battle each other, but beyond that Ash doesn't have much of a reason to be a rival (something even Alain had by being interested in facing Ash even if he was as separate otherwise), like the student-teacher relationship Sawyer had, or the foil status Paul shared with him, or simply being an old friend he wanted to surpass the way Gary was. Their lack of connection alongside the fact that Gladion would barely think about him unless the plot required him to only contributed to them feeling a tad distant from each other, and why their final bout at the League felt for many viewers just 'okay' rather than the earned culmination of their relationship.

And then there are the lower tier recurring characters, ostensibly Sun & Moon's selling point as, unlike previous series, only rarely did the series happen to introduce 'characters of the day' that never came back afterwards. The biggest problem is that, ultimately, all of these lower tier characters are still as flat as the characters of the day of yesteryear: in spite of appearing several times, all we know of Anela the old lady is that she used to be a dancer and likes Litten/Torracat a lot, Ulu is pretty much an even more flanderized Brock that seldom pops up, Anna the reporter mostly stuck to that role, most of the parents and relative of the classmates that weren't Lillie's remained minor characters with little of note to themselves, and so on. The only noticeable recurring guys among the bunch are probably the Skull trio (which mostly acted as a second rate Team Rocket while was even less recurring than they were in this region) and Viren as a recurring antagonist, mostly for being the kind of villain you usually saw punished at the end of the series in previous series (like Dolan the Pokémon merchant) except made recurring in spite of being arrested in his previous appearence, with no real explanation beyond 'kids' show logic'. Even supposedly important characters like Ida and Horatio mostly remain rather regular mentors and rivals with not much else to them, and are unlikely to stick to anyone but the most diehard fans. There are of course some good characters among this bunch, especially the borderline characters of the day like two-episode-wonders Dia and the Kanto weaboos in the Malie City arc, but overall, if Alola truly wanted to make this a lived in and more developed region than previous series, its inhabitants didn't give this aim any real favors, in my opinion.

3. A Dissection of the Series: What Went Wrong, How, and Why

With the biggest parts of important elements of the series analyzed, I'd like to use this final part of the review for some extra analysis of how the series went down and why, in my opinion, it ended up changing for the worse as it went along, since there's one important thing to point out: Sun & Moon, conceptually and fundamentally, wasn't a bad series. But what it does have is, beyond some big flaws, several small ones that continously added up.

Now, let's start to dissect everything, dividing everything by their year of airing.

3.1) Year One: Beginnings, Akala Island, Aether Foundation

When I say that, I have to start with saying that my opinion of Sun & Moon wasn't initially this negative, and in fact, the first twenty-to-forty episodes were actually pretty nice: while the setup is slightly different than usual and humor is definitely prevalent (in particular the oft-mentioned 'funny faces', which would go on to become one of the defining elements of this iteration, far more than any prior series), there's a steady influx of plot-important episodes, development and setup for the future to help making the series a breezy watch, with each slice of life romp feeling either productive or simply fun diversions. Among the good things estabilished here that stand out as good even at the end of the series there's definitely the spiritual angle of Alola, an angle that whenever explored truly does make the region feel different than previous ones and like Ash is effectively experiencing something he never did before, and with stuff like the first trial and Grand Trial alongside Litten's capture arc and Gladion's introduction help keeping ther pace going even in the absence of a more overarching goal in the League. Now, this stretch is hardly perfect, considering that it already shows several cracks that later expanded: Ash only decides to move to the Island Challenge when he happens to remember about it in episode 9; a lot of battles end way too quick and barely get focus except for Trial and Grand Trial (which still have a somewhat lethargic pace); Gladion's decent rival setup is ruined by an unnecessary Team Rocket attack; some Idiot Plots and empty episodes that are just dull to watch happen; certain setups and developments are rushed to the finish way too fast; and, most importantly, the removal of Trial Captains from the lore and Team Skull as a consistent presence beyond occasional moments ended up removing tentpole parts of Alola's nature in the games that the show barely fills adequately, and it opens the door to call anything the show wants a trial, no matter how unrelated to battling it is, giving a feeling that the Island Challenge is hapzardly put together. But, during these early episodes, the problems are negligible or made up for, and even nowadays, I'd heartily reccomend everything up to Stoutland's death as legitimately good.

The first crack, overall, comes from the Akala arc. At the time of its airing, it looked to be a breath of fresh air as it finally moved away from Melemele Island after a rather noticeable dip in plot important events for more filler-y hijinks, and due to prior experience with the series, it was easy to assume the cast would've remained there for a while. However, that didn't end up happening, the arc ending mere episodes after it began, after rushing through equivalents of the three in-game trials (with Ash only effectively taking part in the Grass Trial from the games while Kiawe and Lana ended up gaining his Marowak and her Z-Ring and Waterium-Z instead) until it culminated in Olivia's Grand Trial, with one extra episode dealing with evolution-related issues for Lycanroc culminating into Dusk Lycanroc. This arc already started on a bad note by only allowing Ash one of the in-game trials for a Z-Crystal, which while to a degree understandable on the reasoning of wanting him to only have Z-Crystals he'd effectively use and the seeming decision at the time to not have overlapping Z-Crystals among the main cast, ended up solidifying the 'whatever counts' feeling of the Anime Island Challenge, and a first proper episode that seemed to relish into making Ash into an even larger butt monkey than usual, including him crying like a baby upon losing in a way that would've been immature for his OS self. Kiawe's episode was the standout of this batch, as it focused on him confronting an opponent he couldn't beat and with Ash giving him support into improving, estabilishing a good challenge to overcome in a way that had become rare for the series and was good to see again. Lana's own Trial wasn't bad either, but suffered of having more challenge put into it during the fishing part than the battling part, and Ash's Grass Trial being a battle that suffered of both misplaced comedy (an example of tone imbalance I'll address more later) and an opponent that barely even moved in Totem Lurantis. Olivia's Grand Trial was also probably one of the best battles to come out of Sun & Moon, putting a focus on strategy even in an extremely slow battle and with a more-than-decent finish, with the only blemish being that Rockruff's signs of evolving only really come one episode before they develop further into him evolving, and the already-mentioned problem of Dusk Lycanroc being supposedly a new discovery that nobody paid much attention to, after which we moved back to Melemele to resume the rhythm of seeming slice of life (with at least three episodes of good importance and one nominally important).

After another brief stretch, we moved briefly to Kanto for an arc that was ultimately just nostalgic fluff for old fans bringing back Misty and Brock, which was nice even if transparently OS-pandering (to the point Misty's Azurill and even Tracey were not even as much as mentioned during the episodes), with the only really important contributions to the series beyond two cool fights in the second episode was the first mention of the Alola Pokémon League (with Kukui being reminded he'll need badges, something he seemed to not pay much attention to later) and Misty and Brock getting a promise of a visit to Alola that didn't really do much for the series beyond further fluff. After this, however, we finally moved to one of the first truly major arcs of the series: the Aether Foundation arc, or, in my opinion, where the series really started to fall apart.

At first, the arrival of the Aether arc seemed to be rather promising, seemingly keeping the slice of life nature of the series but starting to delve into the elements of the games for what people presumed to be a slow burn to a payoff loosely covering the game events. Except... that's not really what happened. Instead, this entire arc turned into about a dozen of episodes harshly abridging the entire villain arc of the games and cutting everything they couldn't fit, while seemingly following the conflicting mission statements of making the arc as loosely close to the games as possible while trying to be as different from them as possible, and this was clear from the very beginning, with the introduction of Lusamine as an overbearing mother with none of the deviousness of her game counterpart. This, however, isn't necessarily a problem as the Anime has often rewritten game characters before, but what the problem is is the fact they changed the conflict of Lillie dealing with the emotional abuse Lusamine inflicted upon her into Lillie simply being annoyed at being treated as a child and, most importantly, being annoyed at how her mother evolved her own Clefairy, something Clefairy itself didn't have a problem with, that makes her come across as a spoiled brat and losing most sympathy (especially when no one but maybe Burnet reprimand her for her callous behavior), especially when Lusamine is treated as legitimately loving her and just being too busy rather than having any malice. The problem is also that, throughout the arc, the only one blaming Lusamine for never wondering how did Lillie develop her phobia of Pokémon is Gladion, while true to form Lillie doesn't seem to hold her mother accountable for it, and in fact, only wants to uncover the truth after Nebby teleports her near Type: Null by sheer coincidence, reverting her development from her focus episodes. Nebby is another big issue, as its ownership moved from Lillie to Ash for no reason other than giving him a reason to be involved in what would've otherwise been 'the Aether family show', yet the episode wants to still play into the game by implying Lillie and Nebby have a special relationship when they share their moment.

What I feel was the biggest issue of this specific arc, however, was shuffling the actively villainous role of the plot towards Faba, where he actually manages to be menacing for a brief while before the show decides to fully portray him as a silly villain hard to take seriously (including a magical girl routine to activate an Ultra Wormhole-creating machine) even as he's responsible for Lillie's trauma in his attempt to make Lusamine happy and finding an Ultra Beast for her and tried to wipe out Lillie's memories when she seemed to be able to reveal what happened. In the midst of a sea of confusing plot holes by adaptation (why was Type: Null fitted with the mask when as Silvally he did exactly what he was asked to do and Lusamine seems unaware it even exists? Where did the RKS System ROMs come from? Why the heck did a random Solgaleo and Lunala entrust their child to Ash to begin with?), the biggest problem of this arc comes from how, in Faba's aborted attempt to wipe out Lillie's memories, Silvally's attempt to save her reminds her of what really happened when she developed her phobia (a mere two episodes after it was revealed what caused it), giving her back the ability to touch all Pokémon again, making her previous attempts to do so feel retroactively pointless and only there to milk viewer sympathy for when she lost the ability to again, alongside ensuring to keep her development path directionless after this episode barely one third of the way into the series.

The biggest problem after this, however, comes from Faba's subsequent plan that ends up with Lusamine defending her children from a Nihilego and ending up dragged into Ultra Space due to her act of selflessness, with Lillie, Gladion, and subsequently everyone else moving on to Poni Island to rescue her. Along the way, Lillie changes into what the games called her 'Z-Powered Form', which in the games symbolized her moving away from her mother's shadow, while here it means... pretty much nothing, voiding it of its significance and making it come across as either a game-pandering move or something just done because the source material did it. Another significant issue of this stretch is Ash's upgrade of his Z-Ring into a Z-Power Ring, under the absolutely important reasoning of his Solgalium-Z not fitting in his regular Z-Ring. Meaning that Ash needed a magical, seemingly important ritual to obtain something whose usefulness boils down to borderline cosmetic reasons, especially as we later see Z-Power Rings doled out regularly like they're nothing important (including one to Team Rocket and Gladion's regular Z-Ring turning into a Z-Power Ring with no one remarking about it), which is probably one of the most blatant cases of marketing dictating plot flow in the history of this series.

We then moved on to the final battle, which was admittedly decent enough beyond some strange issues of power creep (like Sophocles one-shotting Lusamine's Milotic) and some occasional bits of tonal imbalance (Teether Dance hula in the middle of a serious mission by Sophocles, Mallow and Lana), but was marred by two issues of significance: one was the decision of having Lillie's big moment with her mother possessed by Nihilego involve her giving a speech of how she hates her and how she allowed herself to be possessed by an Ultra Beast for how self-absorbed she is, which while definitely meant to come across as "the mother I respect would never fall for it" has the problem of Lillie and Lusamine never getting a softer reconciliation before this moment (with said softer reconciliation seemingly happening offscreen after everything was over, which we never heard of until almost episode one hundred), which just further makes Lillie unlikable. The other problem is the grand debut of 10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt, a move that was only used three times that was either poorly explained or never actually received an explanation depending on how you interpret the part where it's employed in the very last major battle of the series, completely out of nowhere except for perhaps Ash's Electrium-Z shining briefly a lot of episodes ago, which was never fully explained, as is the fact Ash's Pikashunium-Z reverted after use.

And thus, after a wedding between the four-times-dated Kukui and Burnet and with Nebby deciding to leave for no adequately explained reason, with Lusamine estabilishing a task force for Ultra Beasts which involves the classmates and Lillie in the closest thing this series gave them to an onscreen reconciliation, after an arc where Lillie supposedly grew... things returned to be for the most part exactly like they were in previous episodes, almost like this arc never happened, including Lillie reverting to her regular clothes. Pretty much, this supposedly character-focused arc ended up coming across as ultimately not so important, especially when Lillie's personality remained roughly the same with the only real problems she developed from being the ones this arc itself introduced, except for now being able to touch every Pokémon.

Things seemed to just return to normal, even if this was just a prelude towards the structure of the series completely collapsing on itself.

3.2) Year Two: Ultra Guardians, Ula'Ula Island, Necrozma

Year two is the one to which I, personally, trace most of the problems of the Sun & Moon series, as the major focus of the series throughout this period ended up being the 'Ultra Guardians', a Sentai-esque team formed by the main cast under Aether Foundation supervision tasked with dealing with Ultra Beasts, and the biggest problem of this arc is that it really wasn't an arc so much as it was a loose connection of monster of the weeks plots that occasionally was brought up outside of them, but was otherwise completely separate from everything not just in terms of structure, but also in tone, as a parody Sentai with barely threatening monsters clashed heavily both with wanting to be a chill slice of life Anime and with wanting to be a battle-based Pokémon Anime. It's an arc that never fully gelled with everything else (the only I'd save being Celesteela, a good Sophocles episode and a rare character-driven Ultra Guardians romp) and ultimately ended on a pitiful note with a rather dull episode with no real oomph to it, but ended up taking the 'main arc' position and leaving the rest of the series pretty much directionless, with several major arcs stalled and, beyond Lillie obtaining her Icium-Z and an Ice Stone that then disappeared completely, Torracat and Steenee evolving, and the Ula'Ula arc for Lycanroc, and Poipole leading to Necrozma, pretty much little of major happened. Teams remained frozen, and development seemed to hit a dead end, beyond officially introducing the Masked Royal.

Between the Ilima episodes (which felt like a waste considering his main purpose at the League ended up being effectively jobbing to Guzma) and the beginning of the Ula'Ula arc proper, the viewers and the students were properly acquainted with the idea of Alola soon getting a Pokémon League, with both Ash and Kiawe expressing interest in it. This didn't send any weird looks yet, as Kiawe was estabilished as the other major battler and to have taken the trials, but this was in hindsight an important omen of things to come. In the meantime, however, Ash departed for Ula'Ula in what turned out to be a solo arc, and one that started up promising only to run into big issues along the way.

I already mentioned part of it when talking of Lycanroc, but the problem of the Ula'Ula arc is that it works on the assumption that Ash would be scared of Lycanroc's rage issues to the point of not acting, with Tapu Bulu's training giving them a moment to surpass those issues that, even with Rowlet suddenly learning Razor Leaf by sitting on a magical tree, could've even worked if it wasn't for the fact that to calm down Lycanroc and reaffirm his trust in him Ash ended up involving a flashback to Rockruff that we never saw before, making the whole affair come across as insincere. After an interlude where Ash undertook a 'Trial' that was technically the in-game Ghost one but was effectively a phony one involving Team Rocket (just furthering the 'whatever goes' sense of the Anime Island Challenge) that resulted in no Z-Crystal, the debut Electroweb, and a strange appearence of 10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt again in spite of the whole thing being a relatively down to earth affair even with Team Rocket about to win with Mimikyu's Z-Move, this arc reached its conclusion with Ash VS Nanu, a battle that's been in equal part praised and mocked, and which I had a friend describe in the most accurate way as a well-written and interesting battle... for anyone but Ash Ketchum.

Seeing a battle taking on a more psychological bent with Nanu toying with Ash and trying to force him to give in to Lycanroc's rage mode is an admitedly interesting choice and Nanu is absolutely the best part of this battle for it, but the problem is that this requires the assumption that Ash would unconsciously not trust his Pokémon after they put the rage mode under control with trust to begin with, alongside the battle being rather visually boring and with a 1 VS 3 set up that makes it more seem like Nanu is weak than Ash being strong (especially with Tapu Bulu tossing in a Sitrus Berry mid-match). This is supposed to be Ash's big development moment as a trainer in Alola, but it requires Ash to have a regressive mindset that doesn't fit how far he's come (something Sun & Moon does in quite a few things big and small, like completely forgetting Jennies and Joys are families of clones after the Kanto episodes) and, much like the Aether arc before it, begins and ends in the few episodes it takes to happen, I already covered Poipole's issue in his character dissection, so I'd like to move on to the most important part of this year: the Necrozma arc, which among the major arcs of the Sun & Moon series it's probably the most irrelevant. Coming in after only minimal foreshadowing (including a fairly interesting hint of a connection between Nanu and Giovanni that the show never really dealt with adequately), this arc was effectively as standalone as it gets, involving events that were only briefly mentioned after it (Rotom depositing the data of Necrozma in the Stufful episode, Naganadel's return, the stadium where the League was held being called Manalo Stadium), and that tried to make a big dangerous deal without actually having much happening: beyond the biggest damage of the episode being adults feeling comedically down as a result of absorbed energy, the introduction of an Elite squad of Team Rocket led by Giovanni's secretary Matori (here revamped as a Team Rocket trio hater in spite of originally being the one reccomending them to Giovanni in DP's last episode) that ultimately did nothing significant except maybe causing injuries to Nebby that wasn't clear if they happened or not with how stiff the animation was, the baffling and unexplained return of Nebby alongside an out-of-nowhere Lunala, and a general sense of big deal where nothing much of dangerous for the cast happened (and that bafflingly replaced the Ultra Recon Squad and Ultra Megalopolis with a talking Naganadel and a generic quarry that achieved effectively the same purpose), this arc ended up feeling like a snoozefest that only resulted in Poipole staying behind in his now healed world in an overall beautifully permanent-feeling farewell, except that, in the light of future events, this choice felt like one that effectively harmed the show in the long run. Also, with Matsui being the headwriter, one might think resolving the arc with everyone sharing their energy borders on self-plagiarism considering she was also the headwriter of Dragon Ball GT, which had a similar climax (itself inherited from Dragon Ball Z).

Thankfully, even if this year was really not the greatest, the following one brought as much improvements as it did other problems to deal with.

3.3) Year Three: Poni Island, Hints of Mohn, Alola Pokémon League

The third year of Sun & Moon did not start on a good note, as after the Necrozma arc the show ended up on a shortage of things to look forward to, with several arcs still stalled and only the still no show Guzma and the League left to check out. During this period, perhaps to lead into Let's Go marketing, we started getting some shorts at the end of each episode dealing with an Eevee getting to Alola, which everyone assumed would eventually go to Ash, only to unexpectedly go to Lana in a move that made some fans sour. Sandy didn't end up doing much else but being cute and possibly allowing Lana's arc to resume by giving her another cute Pokémon to hold in Popplio's stead, but that was it for a while alongside Hau's debut as a character, in an episode infamous for being at the same time an okay rival introduction where Ash lost a fight by fetching his Z-Crystal and getting distracted to take it back, and where Rowlet ate an Everstone for a move that turned out to be more trouble than it was worth.

Beyond Misty and Brock visiting an Alola (which involved an episode where Brock's womanizing gag was blown even further than ever before) and an actually pretty decent arc starring Ash tossed into a post-apocalyptic alternate Alola to deal with Guzzlord in a rare instance of an Ultra Beast being presented as an actual force of destruction, the show finally started to move again with the Poni arc, or as some people called it 'the ultimate development arc', as the focus of this arc seemed to be the opposite of Ula'Ula being an Ash solo act by putting the focus back on the neglected companions, giving them either a new character direction, Z-Crystals evolutions, new Pokémon or in Ash's case his final Grand Trial, all tied together by Hapu opening up to the crew after starting standoffish and distant. Overall, Poni isn't on paper a bad arc, and there are quite a few episodes that are actually pretty good (Kiawe's trial among them for sure), but cramming all this development on the same island one after the other only had the effect of feeling jarring (unlike how Akala was not only still early enough, but only gave significant new things to Ash, Kiawe and Lana), most noticeably by cramming two completely separate evolution plots in the same episode in a move that slightly hurt both of them (Sophocles' feeling a tad impersonal, while Lana's lost the actual training part of it), Shaymin was effectively even more irrelevant than Sandy in the series, the Mohn arc estabilished here had some problems I'll get into soon, and the Hapu Grand Trial ending up as one of the worst 'Gym battles'-like matches Ash ever fought by utilizing the same strategy to victory as the extremely derided Brock battle by dousing Mudsdale and using an Electric attack on it, only adding the patch that 'it was just like Soak' even if no Pikachu can access that move. Ultimately, a well-intentioned arc that felt a bit too little, too late, and came at the expense of Ash's own focus before his final Grand Trial (to the point unlike the previous islands he didn't even do any unofficial trials before this one).

Following this, the next major episode (excluding a two-parter introducing Ash's Meltan that arguably ran one episode too long) was one that was both long awaited and caused some issues and improvements for the series going forward: Guzma's debut episode, alongside the formal announcement to the world of the Alola Pokémon League... and more specifically, the fact that it would be open to everyone with no requirements whatsoever, on the justification that it's not important who wins. Now, I've seen way too many debates on the topic, so I'll put it simply: regardless of if you think an open League is a good idea or not, it does mean that the various trials and Grand Trials Ash took on lost a lot of their meaning since they became self-sustained achievements that don't mean much outside their bubble if Ash didn't need to do any of them to enter the League, and this structure did cause several problems that lowered the general quality of the Alola League for a decent part of its length. When Guzma is being painted as the bad guy for considering the League just a schoolyard fight between weaklings, the viewers shouldn't be inclined to agree with him.

Another big issue of this decision is that, otherwise, it caused the structure of the series to come under scrutiny: before, and usually, since Ash is the only character taking part in the League, it's only his growth in skill that is under scrutiny, and everyone else is free to be as strong or as weak as necessary, but opening the door to everyone to join in also meant that everyone in the series came under scrutiny, and to put it simply characters like Mallow just weren't made to be involved in it even under the guise of a League for fun, something that showed in the actual execution of the Alola League and that I'll get to in a bit.

The episode after this one started the further estabilishment of the Mohn arc, and let me just say... this arc is, on the whole, probably the most disappointing of the various arcs of Sun & Moon, and that's saying something after everything I explained so far. Specifically, the biggest purpose of this arc was for the Aether family to find out about the whereabouts of the seemingly dead patriarch of the family, and supposedly show Lillie as being 'strong' after the events of the Aether arc, but in actual concept, it was just a convenient way for her to get a Z-Ring after conveniently ignoring the possibility for almost one real life year, getting it 'on loan' for almost getting a Z-Move to work in spite of everyone else requiring to pass a real trial to get theirs, and with her contributions effectively ending up still needing Gladion's help and amounting, once more, mostly to feeling sad to catch audience sympathy, while Gladion gets a Zoroark to be only used in one round of the League. But the worst part of all is that this arc, to put it simply, doesn't end. After Magearna finally wakes up and we get the not explained reveal that it knows where Mohn is, the Aether family embarks on a journey to find him... only for the series to end at that point. After spending six months teasing this storyline, just leaving it hanging like this is poor storytelling, and even with the justification that Pokémon 2019's world-hopping premise would mean the new show can end it for Sun & Moon, the series shouldn't have to rely on another one to resolve its own plots, especially one on which supposedly significant moments of the late series hinged on.

The rest of the series, however, does gain something from the open League premise, and that something is a consistent direction by having everyone get boosts in preparation for the League, which at the very least leads to some alright moments for Sophocles that play nicely in his arc and the technical resolution of Lana's arc, among a sea of strangely persistent legendary appearences that only got more and more contrived as the series went on considering they were entirely separate from each other, even the ones that led to ultimately good episodes (like the one where a Celebi led to Ash and Torracat meeting a young Professor Kukui), since it felt like a move to ensure attention that was wholly unnecessary to the story being told. But over time, everything came to a close with the start of the Alola Pokémon League, probably the most talked about arc of Sun & Moon, for good or ill.

The Alola League is unique in several aspects, both in terms of the Sun & Moon series and the Anime as a whole: for the former, it's a battle-focused arc in a region that didn't want battling to be the focus as the climax of it; for the latter, it's the longest League arc in the series' history. clocking at roughly sixteen episodes. Being a tournament arc, you'd think such a good length would benefit it, but the way the series decided to execute things left a lot to be desired, most specifically because Sun & Moon has a very mixed track record in terms of battles and for the decision to show every battle of the tournament even if just partially. There is a lot that could be said about this arc, but I'll try to aim for the big ones first: for starters, beginning the League by reducing the contestants to just sixteen using a Battle Royale was a rather poor choice, as not only that's a format that allows characters to reach high positions by just surviving rather than being strong (as seen by how James got to the Top 16 even if he explicitly didn't face anyone), but confining it to just one episode meant that pretty much every battle of it was reduced to just a series of one-hit KOs from every major characters, with all of them ultimately surviving. After that, another problem was how a lot of the early rounds of the arc ended up averaging between okay to poor battles, with the dubious honor of having Ash's first battle being completely for laughs against Faba, the only character beyond Jessie and James to get one in this League in spite of being the eventual winner. I already mentioned the specifics of Mallow's attempt to quit her match coming out of nowhere from a character standpoint and the issues of Ash VS Hau, so I'll just say that Lillie's battle against Gladion was okay but done dirty for what was supposed to be a huge moment for her in terms of development, and that Sophocles', Lana's (sans Mallow's) and Kiawe's battles ended up being okay to great on the whole. However, the fact that the first two rounds of the League only used one Pokémon each didn't help the sense of escalation at all, nor the sense of Guzma being correct in describing this League as 'a schoolyard fight between weaklings'.

From the Semifinals onward, the League improves in quality due to only good battlers remaining, though it does run into problems of a different sort: Guzma, which was built up as the major threat of the League with Ash vowing to stop him due to what Alola did to him, is not only dealt with in the penultimate round rather than in the finals, but in a battle that makes that statement ring a tad hollow since the perspective we follow during the fight isn't Ash's, but rather Guzma's, shedding some light into his confidence issues and his Golisopod's habit to use Emergency Exit whenever scared (which beyond being only halfway foreshadowed, also ends up with the bad side-effect of giving Ash a free win through Torracat, turning Ash VS Guzma into a 2 VS 1 in Ash's favor), but effectively making Ash interchangeable as a result. It's a good fight with some nice moments, but it just makes his build up as possibly ruining the League for everyone ring hollow when his presence didn't seem to ruin the League for anyone in any way, and the threat wasn't even considered worthy of the finals. Kiawe VS Gladion, by contrast, is mostly a good fight with not much else to it. However, one thing that starts to be noticeable in this part of the League is the sheer reluctance of the show to start any matches before the halfway mark or close to it, padding the airtime as much as possible with not always necessary scenes and stretching the battles along two episodes even when not necessary.

The finals having three Pokémon each meant that Ash VS Gladion ended up having a bit more meat to it in terms of battling, but Ash once again ended up getting another boost in the form of Meltan's evolution into a supposedly powerful mythical Pokémon, which would already be bad since he shouldn't be getting these kinds of boosts at the very final stage of this story (and yes, just to be clear, Kingler's deal was poor writing back in OS as well) but also comes after a gag battle rigged in his favor, a battle that required several contrivancies on his side to be won with Rowlet, and another battle with a facilitated victory in Guzma, making it feel like Ash ended up getting into each of these matches with the writing rigged on his side. The Gladion battle has some fairly good moments both from a character and battling perspective, but between the unearned evolution right before it and just the way they built up to things, Ash's victory here ended up not really feeling as impressive as you'd think this first League Conference victory should be, all things considered. A battle that just ends up as 'okay' rather than the amazing it should've been.

However, after a somewhat dull interlude involving a Guzzlord attack that's probably comprised of more stock footage than action just so Naganadel can come in to make number, we moved on to Ash VS Kukui, probably one of the best battles of this series. That said, while it is pretty good and better written than the majority of them, especially in terms of how Torracat is handling for its first three episodes, it is knocked down by being an exhibition match, meaning that beyond 'fun' and offering a good fight, Ash doesn't need to win this battle (unlike how every other major battle at this stage usually comes with adequate stakes), and most importantly how Tapu Koko forced his way in in place of Kukui's last Pokémon (after Kukui allowed Naganadel in on the pretense of being part of the family, ignoring that three-to-four of Kukui's Pokémon in this match were never seen before and his supposed Pelipper was completely excluded just because the local deity wanted some fighting), which given how Koko wasn't part of this particular equation comes across as scrunching two battles to save time. It also doesn't help that then Tapu Koko interrupts the match again just to allow Kukui and Ash to use Z-Moves again, with Ash ending up using 10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt for the final time while praising the region, which while making for a cool finisher it ultimately makes Ash's supposed aim to master Z-Moves to defeat Tapu Koko resolved in a poor way when he only won using the Z-Crystal he never actually trained to use and that only conveniently showed up whenever it needed. Accounting for yet another boost in the form of Naganadel's return, this battle is ultimately marred once again like most of the League by the writing apparently wanting him to win at all costs and look good while doing so, strategy and skill be damned along the way.

After this followed two episodes of closure, that had some good moments (especially in regards to the Team Rocket trio) but ultimately involved a lot of contrived instances (like an Ultra Wormhole for Naganadel to return home coming just above Kukui's house) or poorly executed moments, most importantly the completely offscreen adventure of Ash and Nebby in Ultra Space, the way Mimikyu decided to let go of his killer instinct towards Pikachu, and most importantly the fact that Ash decided to leave his Alolan team behind for reasons the viewer wasn't made privy to, and which ended up having negative implications for either the Alolan team or the previous Pokémon depending on how you read it.

And that's ultimately how Sun & Moon ended up feeling for me, with several small issues that kept adding up, until the show just couldn't handle them anymore.

3.4) The Problem of Themes and Other Technical Issues

Before to move on the closing statement, I'd like to quickly address something I've often seen brought up in Sun & Moon's defense, generally its themes justifying a lot of what it does alongside exploring the region of Alola by having Ash live there. Usually, the biggest themes I see brought up about this is that Sun & Moon is about family and meeting a world and learning from it... but while the first might have some merit, the second is very much what the show has always been about, arguably moreso than Sun & Moon has been since Ash actively travelled to meet said world rather than wait until the world came knocking at his door, and there were a lot of family-oriented moments in previous series, be they siblings or relatives. I'm sure there are other, different themes that one could bring up here, perhaps some that are indeed unique to the Sun & Moon series, but there's something important to say about themes: no matter how good the message you want to spread or explore is, if the narrative has issues, you can't excuse them on the pretense of themes, especially if it starts to be applied to every single imperfection one finds in a story. Themes are embellishments that make stories better, not substitutes for good writing.

And in terms of narrative issues, Sun & Moon has, in my opinion, quite a few of them, not just the ones I explained in the first paragraph but also some important ones involving both the way episodes are written, and how battles were handled, including the way the generational gimmicks were used. In regards the way the episodes are written, there's the fact that several of them end up involving a strange structure where the plot doesn't actually begin until the halfway mark, and while this may perhaps help with a slow pace and relaxed atmosphere, it does have the side effect of making quite a few of them feel dull to watch, especially older fans used to the rhythms of the series before this iteration.

Bigger, and most pressing, are the problems of battle writing this season ran into, which go deeper than just the absolute downgrade in battle presentation, but go straight into how the battles were written. One noticeable thing that feeds into how slow the battles ended up being is the fact that commentary became just as commonplace as it used to be in the earliest series, constantly breaking the action on a regular basis rather than letting the scenes flow more often than not. Beyond that, the biggest problem is that, more often than not, the battles aren't decided by skill or strategy (though there are occasional skill-based bouts), but rather who feels a bigger drive to win or happens to fire their Z-Move last, which coupled with the removal of most of the minor battles that could go either way to mostly focus on the big ones that have to absolutely be resolved a certain way, leading to such gems as the already mentioned battle with Hau where an otherwise good Ash ended up slipping his Z-Crystal just so he could be distracted and lose due to it, or one where Gladion managed to completely tank a Z-Move only to reply by his own, out of nowhere new Dragon-type Z-Move. It made battles dull to follow more often than not, especially with battles often falling more on shows of strength or exchanges of moves with no real rhyme and reason rather than giving the impression that the trainers had any real plan behind their orders (Ash constantly falling back on relying on an incompletely learned move in Ash VS Hau being a particularly blatant case of it showing).

And relatedly, another major issue of the series overall is the way it choose to handle Z-Moves. Compared to Mega Evolution being a fairly consistent 'have the stones + have the bond = Mega Evolution' in the previous show, Z-Moves depend on several factors, from getting the pose right to having a correct amount of focus and bond with the Pokémon to if the Pokémon used them before, and as a result, the entire idea of mastering Z-Moves feels wholly inconsistent: sometimes you can have characters with perfect relationships with their Pokémon completely failing at using their Z-Moves, sometimes characters like Mallow that first chided others for not getting the Grassium-Z pose right and then ended up unable to master Bloom Doom well until the League match, sometimes you can have characters that get Z-Moves right with Pokémon they never even saw before, and everything in between. It feels extremely arbitrary, and makes 'mastering Z-Moves' feel less down to the characters' agency and more down to whether the writers feel like having them master them or not.

But, if I may say, the real biggest problem of the series is that, simply put, it often raises questions it never manages to answer satisfactorily, just creating a situations were things are left so vague everyone has to either remain confused at what happened or supplant it with their own headcanons. Counting just some of the important questions: Why did Ash choose to go to school instead of a typical journey? Why was Tapu Koko so interested in Ash? Why did Ash receive Nebby from that Solgaleo and Lunala? Why did Nebby leave at the end of his arc? Why do Giovanni and Nanu know each other so personally? Where did that Lunala come from? What's the deal with Dusk Lycanroc and Meltan? Why does the Pikashunium-Z manifest? Why did Naganadel return? Why does Magearna know Mohn's location?

I have no clue. And frankly, I'm not sure if Sun & Moon knows, either.

4. Conclusions

And with this, I reached the end of this long dissection. It probably got pretty ranty, and it may sound excessive considering this is all the result of overanalyzing what's ultimately a kids' show, but I think I covered most of everything I wanted to. So, in the end, with so much said, what are my final impressions of Sun & Moon? Well, I'd say the amount of fun you'll have with it will depend exactly from what you want of it.

In spite of all my critiques, I'm fairly aware of how people just looking for a good time to cheer themselves up with occasionally emotional moments will find definitely stuff to like. Less critical-minded viewers will also definitely find something for everyone in there, and perhaps enjoy what the series has to offer. My personal opinion is that, ultimately, at its best Sun & Moon can be one of the best entries of the Pokémon Anime, while at its worst, it can be even worse than entries like the Best Wishes series. And as someone who likes consistency in terms of what a series has to offer, I found Sun & Moon a quite irritating watch to do, and probably my second least favorite entry of the series even with its good moments.

Overall regardless of which opinion you will have ended this read in, I hope you found my thoughts interesting to read about, and whatever opinion you hold of the Sun & Moon series, I respect it, and, in case you enjoyed it more than I did, I'm glad you did.

As for me, I officially consider the Gen VII Anime a closed book. With the new series starting soon enough, I'm optimistic that things will only look up from there. Not just for me, but for every other watcher as well.

So, regardless of what the future may hold for this show, I'm looking forward to continue my journey reviewing it with all of you, hoping in better stories to be told.

[chaosqueery]

Title: The Great Train Escape

Rating: G

Word Count: 1,765

Characters/Ships: Louise Belcher/ Rudolph “Regular Sized Rudy” Steiblitz

Description:  When Louise hears that Rudy's father is still making him spend his Saturdays in the Juice Caboose, she decides to do something about it.

Alternative Links: (AO3)

A/N:  This idea came to me after watching both 'My Girl' and 'Bridge to Terabithia' within a relatively short time of each other. But don't worry. Both make it out alive just fine in this.

Rudy sat on the hard floor of his Saturday morning cell, the juice caboose, lonely and without any proper stimulation. Every week, he tried to put a positive spin on it. At least he got all the juice he could possibly want, right? Plus, it was a nice time to get his weekend homework done, while nearly all the other kids in his class waited until Sunday night and had to rush to finish. So, yeah. He could still manage a smile and maintain his politeness when boarding the train.

At the moment, however, he couldn’t be any more bored.

Rudy emptied the last bit of grape juice from its box and threw it at the wastebasket. When he missed, he let out a small groan, walked the few steps it took to grab the empty box, returned to his spot, and tried again. He repeated it a few more times, never making a basket until he saw something fly past the corner of his eye.

Interest peaked, he turned to investigate and found a paper airplane had landed on the floor. He was almost too excited for the break-in his monotonous trek around the lake, he hurried toward the plane, and unfolded it. A hastily written message was scrawled out on the page reading: ‘Prison break! Go to the window. -LB’

His breathing labored a bit with excitement, so after taking a puff off his inhaler he rushed over to the open window and saw his best friend, Louise, riding her bike alongside the train.

“Louise!” He called out happily. “What are you doing?”

“Ugh! Didn’t you read the note? I am busting you out of there!”

“But I don’t have anything to climb down with.”

“I got you covered, buddy.” She takes one hand off the handlebars of her bike and shrugs off her backpack. “Move your head away from the window!” Louise ordered, preparing to throw the bag.

Rudy did as he was told and a moment later the backpack flew in through the window on her first try. Damn. Her aim was most certainly better than his. He opened the bag and wound up pulling out a long rope ladder.

“You got it?” He heard Louise yell.

“Yeah!”

“Then hook it on the bottom of the window and climb down!”

Rudy was about to follow her instructions when something suddenly occurred to him. “Hold on a minute!” Rudy rushed out of the bathroom and grabbed his own backpack. He then ripped out a clean sheet of paper from one of his notebooks, wrote a quick note, then placed it on the floor where it could easily be found.

Ready to go, Rudy went back over to the window, hooked the metal part of the ladder over the bottom edge, and threw the rest of it over to dangle outside. He then gripped tightly onto the rope and climbed out of the window. He tried to take one step at a time as gracefully as he could, but the swaying of the ladder made it hard. Thankfully he managed to finally make it to the bottom and stepped off.

“So you can climb down a ladder out of a moving train, but can’t climb off a bunk bed without breaking your arm?” Louise asked when she stopped her bike next to him and planted her feet on the ground.

“Yeah, well…” He scratched the back of his head, not really having an explanation for it.

“What took you so long anyway?”

“I had to leave a note for Ethan saying I was okay and that I’d be back.”

“Oh, crap.”Louise face-palmed. “I don’t know how I forgot about him. Will he get you in trouble?”

“No, I don’t think so. He’s been super nice to me ever since the last time you were here. I think he feels a lot of remorse for what he did to Bean Bag.” Rudy frowned at the thought of his poor old friend who was torn apart. “What made you want to come to bust me out anyway?”

Louise shrugged casually. Really, she felt bad when he told her the other day that his father still dragged him on these wine train trips and had to spend a significant amount of his Saturday alone with nothing to do. She wouldn’t care if it were anyone else. But Rudy was always so nice about everything and rarely ever complained. His weekends should be better than this. Louise, however, was not about to reveal the soft spot she had for him. “Today was one of the few Saturdays I have off from working at the restaurant while Tina and Gene don’t. I got bored, thought I’d spring ya. No big deal.”

“Well, thanks for thinking of me! I don’t know how many more times I can go around Lake Waste Water without losing it.” He said gratefully.

Louise got off her bike and grabbed Rudy by the wrist to look at his watch. “Looks like we have about two and a half hours to get you back. What do you want to do?”

“Anything! I’m up for just about anything.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, Louise! Look what I can do!” Rudy called for his friend’s attention from a low branch of the tree they were climbing. When she directed her attention to the boy about 15 feet closer to the ground than her, she saw him shift his weight and fall backward, dangling from the branch by his legs.

“Neat.” She commented, not really that impressed. Dangling was the easy part. “Just don’t crack your head open.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” He sounded a little less sure of himself now that he didn’t quite know how to pull himself back up. “But everything looks pretty cool upside-down. You should try it!”

“It’s cooler up here, Rudy. You should focus on getting right-side-up again and get up here.”

“Uh, yeah. Okay.” He swung back and forth, trying to gather enough momentum to pull himself back up. Try as he might, however, he couldn’t manage it. “Uhhhh, Louise?”

She let out a groan. “You’re stuck, aren’t you?”

“Maybe a little bit.”

Louise groaned again, this time longer and more frustrated. Partly because he needed help, but mostly because she found herself willing to give it. “Fine. Just hang tight.”

“I’m hanging on as tightly as I can!”

The strain in his voice urged Louise to move faster as she descended down the tree, fearing he would  fall and seriously injure himself. That’s all that kid needed. Thankfully she had climbed enough trees to be sure-footed going down. When she eventually reached the branch he was hanging on, she extended her hand to grab one of his and hoisted him back up.

“Woah, head rush.” he breathed out as he wiggled on the branch to right himself. “Thanks, pal.”

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get gross on me.” She said, rejecting the idea of a moment too mushy for her liking. It wasn’t much of anything, but she had a badass reputation to protect here! With how sweet she knows Rudy can be, she had to stop it before it started. “Now come on. We gotta get to the top.”

Rudy looked up the trunk of the tree and realized there is quite a far way yet to go. “Uh-well… okay, I guess.” His voice sounded a little unsure.

“Just stick close by. I’ll even slow down for you.” She stuck true to her word, stopping at every branch to wait for him to catch up. She even held in a groan when he needed to take a break for another puff on his inhaler. Slowly and surely, they finally climbed their way to the top.

Rudy pushed back some of the smaller branches in their way. When he caught sight of all that was around them, his mouth dropped open. It wasn’t that marvelous a sight, Louise thought. She could see the expanse of treetops that surrounded them, the lake, The Warf- nothing you couldn’t see from the top of the Ferris Wheel. There weren’t any people on the ground she could get excited to be towering over and mock. Really, all she appreciated was the accomplishment. She knew that Rudy did too, which is what made her so determined to make sure he did it. Her friend deserved more experiences like this. So when she saw the look of joyous wonder on his face, Louise had to turn her head to hide a smile.

They sat there for a while, Rudy excitedly pointing to all the cool things he could see, but eventually, Louise realized it had been a while since they left the train. Quickly, she grabbed Rudy’s wrist again to check the time. “Crap! We need to go now if you are going to make it back in time.”

“Aw, really?”

“Yes, really! You took too long climbing.” She grumbled, already starting to make her way back down.

~*~*~*~*~

“That was fun, but I’m sorry for being such a slowpoke.” Rudy apologized when they made it back to the train tracks.

“Stop being such a push-over, Rudes. It’s not like I was expecting Spiderman anyway.”

He gave a chuckle and shrugged. “I suppose you wouldn’t.”

“It was still a good time,” Louise assured him, nonchalantly. Then she gave him a punch on the arm that was meant to be friendly but wound up being a little too hard. Thankfully, he knew her and where it was coming from. “Maybe next time we can build a fort or something instead.”

“Next time?” The hopefulness to his voice was unmistakable.

“Uh-yeah. Sure. If I am confronted with another boring-ass day, I could make it out again.” Louise took a few extra seconds getting situated on her bike, afraid to see a look of disappointment on his face over her lack of enthusiasm. She couldn’t let herself show that she was honestly excited about the idea of more of these adventures. Not unless she was willing to reveal the fact that she enjoyed her time with more than she did with most people (the only exceptions being her family). When she finally looked at him, however, he looked as pleased as ever.

Her heart melted -just a tiny itsy bit- and she kind of hated him for it. Her hand was twitching to slap him across the face, but she didn’t. Instead, Louise brushed it off as much as she could and turned the conversation toward the train starting to pass.

“Alright, here’s your ride. You think you can grab hold of the ladder?”

Rudy put up his hands and shifted his weight from foot to foot, readying himself. “I got this!” They waited while each compartment passed, and when the Juice Caboose neared, he started to count off. “One, for the money. Two, for the show. Three, to-”’

“RUDY JUST JUMP!” Louise yelled, cutting him off before he missed it.

He did as he was told and leaped with all his might toward the back of the train and landed with an ‘oomf!’ on the small platform. After a short breath of relief, he moved to grab the ladder and climbed it as awkwardly as he had climbed down. But he was alive-at least he was alive. ‘I’d like to see Spiderman do that’

“Yes! You did it!” He heard Louise cheer.

Once he was able to crawl back into the train, he grabbed her backpack and returned to the window so he could roll up the ladder and stuff it back into her bag. He then tossed it out to her, and she brought her bike to a halt to pick it up.

“Thanks for breaking me out! See you at school!” He called out with a wave.

“Yeah, see ya, buddy!” She waved back as watched him ride off ahead of her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N:  I am CONSIDERING making this into a series. But, as always, I can't promise anything.

Anyway, any like, reblogs, or comments are greatly appreciated!!!

[yourdeepestfathoms]

in aeternum, little lamb

(Read Anne as Courtney!Anne)

Word count: 4756

Prompt: “Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

———————

It was raining. Again.

Usually a rainstorm was serene and peaceful, normal for London, but there was a certain sticky humidity in the air that made going outside a chore. It was cold, yet uncomfortably warm at the same time with no wind blowing to ease the mild heat that has settled its oppressive, sultry murk over the city. It spilled into every street, every alleyway, every house that dared to open the window, thinking that it would help with the clamminess that fogged their home, but to no avail.

This, of course, brought upon complete and utter dreariness that coated every person making their rounds through their daily lives.

Anne’s forehead was dotted with beads of sweat by the time she arrived at the theater, only then really regretting her decision to walk to work. She hadn’t been expecting the humidity to be that bad, but here she was, feeling like she was leaking steam from every pore.

“God, this weather is miserable,” Jane was grumbling in her dressing room when Anne peeked in. She was currently attempting to tame her wild blonde hair (and losing the battle), which had a small (read as: large, high, anything but small) tendency to frizz up in high vaporous atmospheres like the one drenching London on that day.

“You look great, Jane.” Anne laughed, leaning on the doorframe. She gets a piercing grey glower shot in her direction, but isn’t phased by it. The coldness of the stare almost eased her internal temperature.

“Why is it so damn humid?” Jane finally exclaimed. “We live in London! Not Florida or whatever the fuck it’s called—”

Anne bit both lips, trying to hold back her laughter at the proper fit the queen before her was throwing.

“It’s supposed to be rainy and cold. Not rainy and a LITERAL SAUNA!”

Kitty, who was sitting nearby at her own makeup table, giggled softly. She got up and picked up a brush to help with her mother’s wild hair, which was definitely puffing up as if she were an angry cat or a distressed Studio Ghibli character.

“I don’t know, Jane,” Anne laughed slightly. “Well, I’m going to go get a cup of coffee. You two need anything?”

“Yeah,” Jane said. “A word with Mother Nature.”

Anne laughed again, waved a hand, and walked off to the break room.

Well- it wasn’t really a break room, per se. Theaters didn’t really have those. It was just an extra dressing room that nobody used and had a microwave, mini fridge, and coffee machine inside. In some way or another, a round bar table, small couch, and two beanbags ended up inside- Anne couldn’t really remember how they got there, but they were there and, thus, the room became a nice place to chat and relax when nothing was going on. Kitty had once even hid under the twin beanbags during a game of hide-and-seek (which was also her idea).

Upon stepping inside the break room, the scent of coffee bombarded Anne’s nose. The coffee machine was still on, but little was left in the pot. She walks over to it, thinking it was enough to sate her- she didn’t really like coffee, but she needed the extra rush to help her combat the dreariness the weather was inflicting upon her.

“Sorry,” A voice from behind suddenly said. “If I had known you wanted some, I would have made more.”

Anne actually jumped and she whirled around to see none other than the music director sitting in one of the beanbags. She jumped, too, and straightened up, nearly spilling the mug she had placed beside her pillowy seat.

“Sorry!” She said again. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Anne placed a hand over her racing heart and waved the other dismissively, laughing.

“It’s alright!” She assured the girl. “I didn’t see you at all!”

Joan smiled slightly, humoring her comment, then slumped back over to continue reading the book she had in her lap.

Anne studies her for a moment- as everyone said, Joan wasn’t much for conversation, despite always lurking on the edges of a group discussion. It was like she wanted to join in or just talk to someone, but didn’t have the courage to do so. Perhaps she was worried about being ignored or rejected, so, instead, she just watched in silence.

Maybe that’s why a few younger stagehands who were working there for college credit started calling her the “Theater Ghost.” Anne couldn’t really deny that that title wasn’t accurate- her not noticing the girl at all just proved that it was.

“Did you drink all of this?” She asked, trying to strike up a conversation to make things less awkward. Tenseness was as thick as the humidity outside in that room.

“It’s not that big of a pot...” Joan sort of mumbled.

So, yes. She did.

Anne frowned slightly. She vaguely knew of Joan’s caffeine addiction, but never really saw it first hand. She just knew that the girl drank more coffee than everyone working on the show combined.

“I see,” Anne chuckled. “Well, alright.”

She turned around while waiting for the pot to fill to see that Joan was looking at her. However, when she noticed, Joan snapped her head back down to her book. Anne furrowed her eyebrows.

“What are you reading?”

“Huh?” Joan seemed...surprised that Anne was asking her something. “Oh, it’s just- it’s just some silly book.” She kicked her leg anxiously against the beanbag, seemingly trying to hype herself up for something. “It’s, umm- it’s called Wings of Fire.”

She brandishes the book, keeping one finger inside the pages to mark her spot. On the cover was a flying gold and black dragon with four insect wings, spines along the back, and funny little glasses on the snout (something about dragons having eyesight care and possibly dragon eye doctors stood out as silly to Anne).

“It looks good,” Anne said after inspecting the picture.

“Oh, it is!” Joan said, perking up slightly. “It’s about these ten dragon tribes and five baby dragons were supposed to be born on The Brightest Night and be the Dragonets of Destiny to stop the war between three Sandwings fighting to be queen. So they’re kept underground, but their caretakers are kinda abusive and mean. Probably because the Skywing egg was destroyed so they had to replace it with a Rainwing egg, which are supposed to be the laziest tribe and that makes Kestrel- the really mean guardian- mad. So she’s kinda a jerk to the five dragonets. But then they break out of their cave before they’re supposed to leave when they’re six, because they have to wait until they’re seven, only to be captured by the Skywing queen! And they’re forced to fight to the death and they’re almost killed because this one character, Peril, can burn everything she touches! But then it’s revealed that Clay, he’s the Mudwing, has fireproof scales! And Glory, she’s the Rainwing I was talking about, can spit venom!! Then they escape and go to the Seawing kingdom and Tsunami- the Seawing- is actually the missing Seawing princess and a statue was killing all the other eggs. Then they go to the rainforest and Glory becomes queen and Starflight goes blind in the fourth book and the end of the war happens in the fifth!!” She’s babbling about a hundred miles per minute- Anne can barely keep up. “We should- we should read it together! If you’re interested. Like a book club! Except I’m on the twelfth book right now and I don’t know how fast you can read and I just basically spoiled the entire series, hahaha...but only for the first five!! But the next arc isn’t that good if you ask me. It completely throws everything that has happened out the window and just puts new characters in a school? Which they barely even stay at! So why even make the school, Tui? And my favorite character in that segment is in a coma for, like, three of the five books in that arc!! Arc three is pretty cool, though. I like the new tribes. And Sundew is supposed to be a lesbian! With an actual girlfriend! And it’s a main plot point!!” She’s beaming now. “I just—I think you would really, really like it and, I dunno...it would be fun! I can read it aloud? N-not because I think you can’t read or anything, I just—like talking. To someone. And to make sure you don’t doze off and miss any of the really good parts! Because there are SO MANY even though Tui doesn’t seem to remember any of her world building half of the time, but—”

“Joan?”

“Yeah?”

“Breathe.”

Joan’s face flashed deep crimson. She hunched her shoulders around her neck and ducked her head, almost using her book as a shield to hide herself. It seems she just realized that she had been talking the green queen’s ear off.

“Sorry,” She whispered. “I-I just thought that you wanted to...” She shook her head. Her hands clench around the sides of her book. “Nevermind.”

“Joan-”

“Your coffee is gonna get cold.”

Anne looked at the full coffee pot, then back to the girl, and then walked over to get herself a cup. She can hear Joan shifting anxiously in the beanbag behind her.

Honestly, she found the girl’s deep interest in what she was reading quite endearing, she just didn’t know how to reply to her monologue in a way that showed that she actually was interested in what she was saying.

“Maybe send me the link to the book sometime?” Anne offered while heading for the door. “Or if you have a physical copy...”

“Yeah,” Joan smiles thinly- weakly. “I have some at home. I’ll give them to you tomorrow.”

“Sounds great.”

“Oh, and— Anne?”

Anne stopped right as she was walking out.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

Joan looked down shyly, shifting her legs.

“For talking to me.”

———

“She thanked me. For standing there while she was ranting about a book!”

The other queens looked rather amused by the story they were given during dinner. It wasn’t exactly the reactions Anne was hoping for- was nobody else concerned by the oddity of the situation?!

“Joan’s a...quirky kid.” Jane merely said. “She’s always been a little strange, Anne. I’m almost positive she was raised by literal street rats, so that might have something to do with it. Rats aren’t exactly much for conversation.”

Anne looked at her in shock. Of everyone to say such a thing, she hadn’t expected it to come from Jane “Protective and Loving Mom Friend” Seymour.

“Did you just—”

“Anne,” Jane sighed. “You know what I’m talking about. She worked for you! She’s just a weird kid. Kids are weird!”

“‘Weird’ is when a kid likes to watch snails go over salt and get burned, Jane. Thanking someone for listening to them talk about a book is concerning.” Anne argued.

“Cathy does it all the time.”

“Cathy doesn’t thank us!”

Anne was really getting worked up over this and she wasn’t exactly sure why. She really only got this way for Kitty or Maggie- she theorized it was those maternal instincts kicking in or just a natural protectiveness for an ex-maid in waiting.

Whatever it was, it sure seemed to be amusing to the others.

“Okay, calm down, Anne.” Cleves said, laughing slightly. “We get it, you think it’s worrying. No need to start a food fight over it.”

“I’m not going to-” Anne broke off into agitated grumbling, which caused even more giggles in reaction.

“I said thank you to Catherine when I read to her yesterday,” Cathy said.

“That’s because you were asking her opinion on a chapter you wrote!” Anne struck back. “It is NOT the same thing!”

Cathy shrugged and took a bite out of her pork chop.

“It’s nothing you should stress about, Annie.” Kitty said. “Maybe some people are just meant to be alone!”

Anne gave her a look of disbelief.

“Like Henry.” Cleves put in helpfully.

“Like Henry, yeah!”

Now, don’t get Anne wrong, she loved her little found family with the queens very much, but, at that moment, she wanted to hit all of them with the salad bowl at the center of the table as hard as she could.

Maybe not Aragon, though (unfortunately). The woman hadn’t told Anne to forget about the situation or just move on- she was thoughtfully silent, eating her dinner in reserved peace. Whatever her opinion on the argument was, she didn’t say it.

Anne sighed, putting her head in one hand as she picked at her dinner until Aragon finally spoke up to tell her to get her elbow off the table. She begrudgingly obeys.

Like that, the conversation is dropped and something new, something Anne really didn’t care about was talked about.

After dinner, Anne decided to do some snooping on her laptop. First, she looked up historical information on Joan, only to find nothing. Every website was just the same thing over and over again- literally. It was just copied and pasted from the extremely short and vague Wikipedia page on the girl. The names of her parents weren’t even recorded, nor was any childhood information. There was barely even anything on her time as a lady in waiting, which only covered her work under Jane and not either of the cousins.

She had a son named Hercules, though. If that meant anything.

Next, Anne went to Joan’s Instagram page. It had several hundred followers, mainly from the fans who insisted on following everyone associated with the show, and was filled with the normal posts the actors usually had- although there were very few compared to the queen’s and other ladies in waiting’s accounts. Most of the photos were of her work or her playing the songs on her piano or of selfies of her in the band costume.

In almost all of them, she was completely alone.

Anne searched for something- she didn’t know what exactly, just something- in the seventh-five posts on the account, then went to the photos Joan was tagged in. There weren’t many- just group photos and a few good shots of her from a MegaSix and a single appreciation post (she vaguely remembered Joan telling them about it and how giddy it had made her...nobody had really listened to the babbling at the time).

And then Anne found a certain photo- the first one she was ever tagged in: it was a photo of her costume laid out on a table with the caption, “Here’s the lady in waiting costume! I’ll be posting about SIX more on my other account, so follow if you’re interested!”

The name of the account was @force-be-with-ewe.

Anne clicked on it.

force-be-with-ewe

i just really like drawing sheep

Johanna-She/her-Asexual lesbian-Musician and artist

That’s the first thing Anne saw when she clicked on the account, along with an adorable profile picture of a sheep playing a piano, then the whopping twelve followers (most of which were ghosts or bots) and three hundred and nine posts.

It took Anne just a moment to realize that this was Joan’s personal account.

And she went through all of it.

The profile was a mishmash of drawings and piano videos and sheep. The latest post was actually a photo of a bird with a caption talking about how the little guy had been visiting Joan’s bedroom window every morning and “giving her a reason to get up because she had someone looking forward to seeing her.” She maturely and proudly dubbed the bird “Minecraft.”

After that were drawings of dragons with #wingsoffire and #wof in the descriptions, leading Anne to believe that they were characters from the book she had been told about earlier that day.

And they just kept going.

Among videos of Joan playing the theater keyboard when presumably nobody was around, were drawings of sheep playing various instruments and sleeping and being adorable, drawings of more dragons, drawings of a few Pokémon (mainly Snom, Wooloo, and Sobble). There were stunning drawings of giant creatures from a game called “Subnautica” and beautiful drawings of castles and scenery. There were even drawings of the queens!

Usually fans would tag them in art, but it appeared that Joan was too shy to do that. So, instead, she just left them floating in her profile with no ways to see the masterpieces, since there weren’t any hashtags on those.

Anne was genuinely amazed by the attention to detail in the sketches of her and her fellow queens and even more amazed by the drawings with watercolors. She swore the painting’s eyes had more color than her own and the costume was as vibrant as the actual one in real life.

It was beautiful. They were all beautiful.

Why didn’t Joan want anyone seeing these?

Anne kept scrolling and eventually came upon rather...concerning posts.

The first was of a messy, but haunting colored pencil sketch of a pitch black ram with inky, bleeding red eyes that seemed to stare through the screen and directly into Anne’s soul. The caption simply said, “Black Philip.”

Another was a drawing of a blonde girl, presumably Joan, leaking coffee from every single orifice on her face and was drawn with such detail that it would easily make an emetophobic’s stoamch churn with nausea.

And then there were a few of an ice dragon, slightly similar to one of the dragon tribes from the book, but this one notably had more icicle spikes, frayed scales, and jagged wings. It was moon silver in color with ice blue hues and eyes like a raging blizzard.

All the drawings done with this beast, which was apparently named “Killer Frost” (and has no ties to the Flash character of the same name), were normal- just it laying around, flying, standing atop icebergs menacingly or breathing a freezing death breath. But there were a few that stood out to Anne as worrying.

The first was of Kitty, actually. She was wearing her show costume and her eyes were closed with a peaceful expression on her face. And then there was the glittering paw of the ice dragon reaching down from the top of the image and cupping one of her cheeks with its serrated, barbed claws. The caption read, “The Chosen One.”

The second and much more concerning drawing was captioned, “Envy truly is a deadly sin.”

It was a drawing of Killer Frost crouched in a feral position, staring forward with blazing eyes, jaw hanging open and teeth bared, absolutely soaked in blood.

There was just blood everywhere. Blood on the body, blood on the claws, blood dripping in horrifying realistic threads from the mouth, blood all over the blank, white floor beneath the beast, blood squirting from the remains of the carcasses that had presumably been gored.

The image left Anne with so many questions- What did this represent? Who were those corpses? Was Joan jealous? And if yes, who was she jealous of?

One thing was certain, though- Joan was startlingly good at drawing gore. A sketch of Killer Frost holding its own gooey, bloody esophagus and larynx in another photo just proved that. There was even one of the dragon ripping its own throat out while the faint outline of what appeared to be three ghosts encouraged it.

It was strange to see such mishmashes of horror shoved in between adorable sketches of sleeping baby lambs and fluffy Wooloos. It also left Anne with growing worry for the artist.

When she finally finished going through the profile, Anne decided the follow the account and became the thirteenth follower.

This time, thirteen would not be an unlucky number.

———

Five books were left on Anne’s dressing room table the next day, all with a colorful dragon on the cover, and a note that read, “I didn’t know if you only wanted one book or all of them, so I just left the first arc. Let me know what you think! :) -Joan”

“Fan mail?” Cleves asked, peeking over to the table from where she was getting ready.

“Nah,” Anne replied. “Just some books.”

“Sounds very cool,” Cleves chuckled before returning to dousing her hair with hairspray.

“Extremely.” Anne said, then set out to find and talk to Joan before the show. She could get her hair and makeup done later!

Except she couldn’t find the girl anywhere. She asked around, but nobody knew where she went. And she was definitely there because Anne saw her onstage right before the performance, but, by then, it was too late to speak to her. Anne just decided to see her afterwards, which was easier said than done because, once again, Joan was nowhere in sight.

Anne was about to give up, since it was almost time to leave, but then she spotted the girl in the break room playing a card game by herself at the round bar table. She considered charging in and barking at her about where she’s been, but she didn’t want to freak her out, so she just walked in calmly.

“Hey, Joan,” She said cooly, noticing the way the music director’s hand froze as she was setting down a card. She grabbed a water bottle from the mini fridge and sat down at the chair across from Joan. “Whatcha doing?”

“Just...playing a card game my brother taught me.” The girl replied meekly.

Joan had a brother? The articles on her said nothing about him...

“You had cards back then?” Anne asked, as if she hadn’t been born in the same time period.

“No, we used strips of wood we would tear off from people’s houses and carved symbols on them with knives.”

Anne blinked.

“...Oh. That’s...”

“Concerning?” Joan finally glanced up from her deck of cards to look at Anne. A ghost of a smile graced her lips for a moment before she tilted her head back down with a light laugh. “I know.”

“Mind if I play?”

She’s glanced at again- scanned, as if Joan was expecting her to pull something and make a joke out of her. But then she gave in and began collecting the cards from how they’re laid out on the table.

“This game is too complicated to explain,” She said. “But we can play Speed?”

After a quick rundown of the rules, Anne agreed and the game began.

And honestly? It was great. Joan genuinely laughed and smiled as they playfully bickered and argued over the card game. She almost looked like a happy little lamb frolicking in a field of flowers.

On their third round, Kitty peeks into the break room.

“There you are, Annie!” She said. “I was looking for you!”

“Oh, hey, Kit!” Anne said. Out of the corner of her eye, she definitely saw Joan clench her jaw. The drawing of Kitty and Killer Frost’s claws and then the bloody sketch briefly flashed in her mind. “What’s up?”

“We’re leaving,” Kitty informed. “We had dinner plans tonight, remember?”

Joan sighed softly and began to pick up the cards. Anne gently pressed her hand down.

“I think I’m going to pass tonight, Kit.”

Both blondes looked shocked- Joan more than Kitty from the way her head whipped up fast enough to give her whiplash.

“How come?” Kitty asked, clearly confused. “I thought you really wanted to go to this pub...”

“I know, but I’m hanging out with Joan right now.” Anne said. “Just bring me home something if you can!”

Kitty blinked several times, glanced at Joan, then nodded and walked out.

“You didn’t have to stay,” Joan whispered.

“I wanted to, though.” Anne assured her. She gently took the deck of cards from Joan’s clenched hands and began dealing them out. “Wanna keep playing Speed or try War? I’ve played with Aragon before. I swear, she ALMOST broke my nose in anger!”

“You followed me last night.”

Anne blinked.

“Yeah, of course,” She said. “I had no idea you could draw so well. You’re very talented.”

A hot pink blush dusts Joan’s cheeks and she looked away. She anxiously plays with the corner of an ace of spades. The slight drizzle that had been tapping on the window starts to pick up.

“I-”

She’s embarrassed, Anne realized. Embarrassed and horrified because she knows Anne saw the gruesome drawings she had made.

She believes that Anne thinks she’s sick. Or a freak. Or a monster.

Anne would admit that they’re a little weird, but a lot of artists liked to make horrific art. Nothing wrong with that, especially if they were vents.

“Joan-”

“Why are you doing this?” Joan asked quietly. She looked up and centuries worth of loneliness and neglect and pain reflect in her stormy grey eyes. “What do you want?”

Finally, Anne understood.

“Look,” Anne said. “I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

Joan froze. She just stared at Anne in shock for a long time before tears fill her eyes and start to run down her cheeks. She tries to stop them, but it’s clear she’s been bottling this all up for a long time and won’t be able to hold it back any longer.

“Y-you want to be my friend?” Joan whispered.

“Yes, Joan.” Anne answered her honestly, not missing a beat. “You deserve someone who cares about you.”

The most heartbreaking whimper Anne has ever heard strangled itself out of Joan’s throat. The tears start to come down faster.

“N-nobody— Nobody has ever w-wanted to—”

“Oh, Joan...”

Anne quickly got out of her chair and walked around to Joan’s side of the table. She wrapped her arms around the girl and she immediately slumped into her embrace, clinging back like Anne was her life line.

“Oh, Joan,” Anne said again. “Oh, you poor, sweet little thing...”

Joan began to openly sob against her shoulder. Her hands claw at the back of Anne’s shirt, desperate for a good hold.

“I’ve- I’ve been alone f-for so long—” She wept.

“Shh, shh,” Anne hushed her. She began to rub her back soothingly. “I’ve got you now, honey. I’ve got you. I won’t let you go.”

That elicits a sharp whimper from Joan, who burrows herself even closer to the queen’s warmth. And she stays like that, half slid out of her stool, clutching onto Anne Boleyn like her life depended on it until she was able to choke back the rest of her tears.

“Feeling any better?” Anne asked. She was still rubbing Joan’s back, as the girl had yet to pull back from the embrace.

Joan shrugged weakly. “A-little.” She croaked. “N-not...not good. But better. B-because you’re here.”

Anne’s heart simultaneously broke and melted.

“You sweet girl,” She said lovingly. “I want to be here for you from now on. Is that alright?”

Joan nodded. “Please...”

“Alright,” Anne said. She gently pressed Joan back and gave her her water bottle, which she never actually opened. “Drink something for me, sweetheart.”

Joan obeyed and took a few small sips of the water. It soothed her dry throat, which was weak from the outpour of emotions.

“Good girl,” Anne said encouragingly. “Hey, here’s an idea! Why don’t we go back to my house and watch a movie? I know there’s a tray of lasagna we could heat up! If you want to, that is.”

“N-no, that’s-” Joan sniffled. “I would really, really like that...”

Anne smiled warmly at her.

“Wonderful.”

———

When the other queens came home later that evening, none of them were expecting to see Anne sitting on the couch with the music director’s head in her lap, but that’s the sight they were greeted to.

They both looked content, Anne with a loving smile on her lips and Joan with a peaceful expression settled on her face as she slept. One of Anne’s hands was stroking through Joan’s hair and the other was holding a book, which she looked up from when the front door opened.

“Hey, ladies,” She said, momentarily setting down Wings of Fire- The Dragonet Prophecy. “How was dinner?”

———

A day later, Anne got a notification on her phone saying that @force-be-with-ewe had posted. When she checks it, she sees a digital drawing of Killer Frost being nuzzled lovingly by a large, emerald green dragon.

The caption simply reads, “Thank you for giving me a chance”

[higuchimon]

[fanfic] Uninvited Guests

From the outside nothing really looked that different. But in the royal kitchens and along the corridors and in the areas where the servants gathered to whisper among themselves, the word went out. Haou-sama had chosen the last of his closest advisors – the ones known as the Death Duelists. While there would not be a true celebration, not the sort of thing that most of those who lived and worked in his castle had only heard vague stories about, it was subtly decided that a slightly finer feast than usual should be held to welcome Guardian Baou as the last of the chosen ones.

No one knew the criteria that Haou-sama used to choose those particular ones. It could be presumed that the drive for cruelty, ambition, and a carelessness for the lives of others were high on the list of desirable qualities. Guardian Baou, Skull Bishop, Chaos Sorcerer, Skilled Black Magician, and Skilled White Magician all held those qualities in the highest of amounts.

There were a few others that also held them and they were considered not quite as high in the ranks but very close. Snoww the Magician of Dark World stood among them – she who had been the first of the survivors of Dark World to kneel to the one who defeated Brron. Snoww also knew all of the gossip of the castle and passed it on to Haou-sama, should she deem it worthy of his attention.

Which she seldom did. She knew what he desired to know most of all and that could not be found out from kitchen gossip. But it remained interesting or her to know regardless. Knowledge was power, and power of any kind could be of great use.

If Haou noticed anything about the splendor of this night’s dinner, it did not reflect in his cold golden eye or the unamused tilt of his lips. He simply sat at the head of the table, waiting and watching as the servants brought the food around. Seated beneath him were his Death Duelists, all of them quietly chatting among themselves, Guardian Baou being instructed by Chaos Sorcerer on how matters were conducted here.

Snoww sipped a cup of well-aged wine, nibbling at tiny pieces of well-braised meat. She approved of this; it proved that the local farmers and herders accepted Haou-sama as their liege, as they sent the proper tithes to the castle. Haou-sama’s reign remained well-begun.

Course by course elegantly prepared food graced the table. Only those of a certain rank were allowed there – the Death Duelists, Snoww herself, two of her assistants, and a small handful of others who strove daily to prove their worth. Most of those were demons or dark spellcasters of some kind or another. One of them was an angel – she wasn’t certain of his name, but the expression on his face and the tilt of his wings told her that he was as cold and cruel as any of the fiends.

Her intentions were to ghost among the attendants after dinner, learn who the ones she didn’t know were, and pass any interesting information on to Haou-sama. For several reasons, her plans didn’t work out the way she expected.

Servants brought out the final course – a delicious dessert made of fruit and nuts. According to protocol, Haou-sama was the last served, and his portion was also the largest. As the highest in rank there, he deserved nothing less.

He’d said nothing throughout dinner but that wasn’t a surprise. He normally only spoke when he chose to give an order. Those who served him learned what he wanted from the gaze of his eyes and the flicker of expressions across his impassive face. It really wasn’t that hard, since all that he truly seemed to want was for everyone who didn’t directly serve him to die.

Snoww did wonder about that. But it wasn’t her place to question.

As Haou-sama prepared to take a bite of his dessert, there was a sensation of movement from one of the shadows near the table. It wasn’t something anyone there expected, not even Haou-sama. He stared at the creature that darted out of the darkness, some of the first surprise that she’d ever seen on his face.

“Demon Beaver,” Guardian Baou said, breaking the startled silence. “I haven’t seen one of those in years. What’s it doing here?”

He stood up and reached for the creature where it sat on the table, tiny bat wings flared, and horn pointing defensively at whoever drew nearer. Its tail stretched out over the plates, a tiny fork at the end, and before Baou could get a grip on it, Demon Beaver leaped forward to where Haou-sama’s dessert lay on his plate, and jerked it up into his mouth.

By all rights, it shouldn’t have been able to take the whole dessert in. The nuts were large and so were several portions of the fruit. But all of it vanished down the creature’s throat. For a few seconds its stomach bloated, then it was all gone.

It chirped a noise unlike any Snoww had ever heard before, then leaped back into the darkness that had spawned it. The whole event had taken less than a minute. Baou stopped in his tracks, staring at where it had been.

Haou rose up, eyes colder than usual. “What was that?” He spoke, biting off each word with more relish than he had the meal he’d just had.

“Demon Beaver,” Guardian Baou repeated himself. “Like I said, I haven’t seen one around here before. There was a little colony of them near where I grew up.” He eyed Haou, then the other Death Duelists, and picked up his own untouched dessert. “Here, Haou-sama. You’re welcome to mine.”

He started to hand it over, freezing when Haou gave him a disdainful look. Their liege lord rose up to his feet and stalked out of the room, last words floating behind him.

“If the creature turns up again, I want it destroyed. Bring me its hide, horn, and wings to prove what you’ve done and I will reward you.”

One eyebrow of Snoww’s flicked upward at that. Had he really wanted the dessert that much or was he simply displeased by the fact such a tiny creature interrupted their dinner? Even for her, it could be difficult to determine the truth behind his words.

“What an interesting ending to the meal,” an unfamiliar voice spoke from behind her. She turned, hand tightening on her staff, to look into the face of that angel she’d seen earlier. She nodded a silent greeting.

“So it was. Will you seek the creature’s life?” Snoww wondered. The other shrugged, the motion liquid and beautiful.

“Perhaps. It’s difficult to determine when I don’t know what the reward is. What would Haou-sama grant to someone who isn’t one of his precious Death Duelists?” The angel’s lips quirked into a smile that wasn’t sweet at all but perhaps wished to pretend to be.

Snoww allowed herself a little bit of a smile, a trifle warmer than the other’s. “You could ask him if it means that much to you.” She tilted her head to one side, eyes raking him up and down. “I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure of an introduction.”

“Why, so we haven’t.” He bent forward, wings spreading wide. “I am Fallen Angel Lucifer. And you are, I believe, Snoww, Magician of Dark World.”

Snoww nodded in return. “I’ve heard of the Fallen Angels. Your people live far from here, don’t they?”

“Very far. I came to this area to conduct negotiations with Brron before his demise.” Lucifer’s wings pulled back as he straightened up. “Seeing what Haou-sama has done makes me far more interested in allying with him, though.”

Snoww’s lips thinned in amusement. “Is that so?”

“It is indeed. Do you think that he would be interested in an alliance? We have several resource that he may wish to make use of.” Lucifer raised his arm and tapped on the duel disk there. “I am not the least of duelists in my family. We could provide many warriors to serve his cause.”

“Perhaps.” Snoww shrugged casually. “That is for Haou-sama to decide. But perhaps if you capture that Demon Beaver and bring it to Haou-sama, dead or alive, he might look favorably upon your offer. Though in truth, I can’t actually say for sure. He makes his own decisions.”

Lucifer nodded, a thoughtful tilt to his lips and the ends of his wings flicking casually. “It is an avenue worth pursuing, I’m certain.” His gaze shifted back to the Death Duelists, who stood in a small circle talking among themselves, and some of the servants who looked terrified as they whispered together.

Snoww wasn’t surprised by that. Many of them had followed Haou-sama from Brron’s castle and they were quite used to his temper and rages. If Demon Beaver had stolen from Brron, then everyone who’d even looked at the food would have been executed in the most horrible ways possible. Haou-sama’s orders were almost benign in comparison.

It made her wonder what he would do if someone brought the creature to him alive. Somehow, she doubted it would be made a tame pet of.

Lucifer retired to his chambers and settled down there quietly, reading over a book he’d brought with him. He said nothing, did nothing but quietly turn the pages of his book, until a quiet trill wafted through the air. He still didn’t look up.

“Well?” He said only the single word. Again the trill sounded and now his eyes narrowed. “I’m certain it was delicious. But that’s not what I want to know. You shouldn’t have even showed yourself.”

If he’d raised his head and turned it, he would have seen Demon Beaver in one corner of the chamber, right where the shadows hung the thickest. His room wasn’t very large; he could have reached out and touched the creature if he chose. But he didn’t; Demon Beaver could move faster than he could and would be away in the darkness before he could so much as touch the creature’s horn.

“Have you found out anything else? Anything useful?” Lucifer wanted to know. The edges of his wings twitched and wiggled. He wasn’t very good at missions like this; he didn’t have the temperament or the patience for it. He’d meant to fly in here and raze it all to the ground. Brron had insulted the Fallen Angels one time too many and now it was his task to avenge the slight.

Only before he could do that, some – some human from another world appeared and did Brron in. Technically Lucifer could have just returned home and called the matter even. But the existence of Haou intrigued him. He wanted to know where this strange human came from and how he gained all of his power.

Demon Beaver would help with that. The creature could smell power as easily as it could smell a delicious treat, and so far it had managed to inform him that Haou-sama did have a power that was – well, it didn’t know what the power was, only that it was more than human and other than that of a spirit.

Lucifer drummed his fingers on the table before him, thinking. “Stay out of sight. If you get found, you’re going to get skinned, de-horned, and your wings ripped off, and that makes you useless to me.”

Another trill and a noise that made Lucifer snort. “I don’t care if you wouldn’t like it either. I hired you to find information for me, not become someone’s wall decoration. Get back there and find out something.” This time he turned towards Demon Beaver, eyes flashing with rage. “Or I’ll turn you into a wall decoration myself.”

Demon Beaver chittered at him, then faded away into the shadows, tail twitching out of sight the last. Lucifer kept the words that he wanted to say behind his teeth. It would be far better if he did nothing that could bring Haou’s attention to himself.

The idea of killing Haou certainly appealed to him. It would mean that his realm would extend to this area. The Fallen Angels and the monsters of Dark World warred against each other for longer than even he could remember. By some standards, since Brron died and they lived, then the Fallen Angels had won the feud. And yet there were still those of Dark World who lived.

It didn’t seem that Snoww realized exactly who he was. Perhaps she’d not heard of the feud – which truly seemed impossible to him. He’d spent his entire life knowing of it and knowing that Brron’s people would kill him if they could. It was his duty to kill them first.

Perhaps it didn’t matter. Perhaps this would give him the chance to kill Haou, or the remaining survivors of Dark World, or both. Then all of this land would belong to him and to his people.

Lucifer thought that would be a very pleasant way to end this feud – and the very best way.

Guardian Baou grew up on the borderlands between the realm of the Dark World monsters and the Fallen Angels. He’d spent plenty of time in his youth guarding their village, watching for the slightest sign of attack. Frequently when the attack came, he gave the word, and from the time he could run about unaided, he assisted the defenders of the village. When he grew old enough to fight himself, he joined them.

Before then, he wandered the thick woods and mountains that filled the borders. He saw many animals, monsters, and spirits there, among them Demon Beavers and Evil Rats. All of them had the trick of jumping into the darkness to get away from someone trying to trap them.

He made several traps in that long-ago time to try and get hold of one, just to be able to turn the hide into something useful. Trapping was one of the professions that the locals excelled in. Unfortunately, it wasn’t something that he in particular excelled at.

It was one of the reasons he gave up on trying and focused on learning how to fight. He almost wished he’d chosen differently, one day when he returned from his lessons to find that the creatures had chewed holes in their palisade, and an army in service to the Fallen Angels swept in, laying waste to all in there.

Ever since then, he hated all of those tiny creatures and gone out of his way to destroy them wherever they cropped up. Now, at least decades after he’d last seen one of those, he knew that he still carried those glowing coals of hatred.

How did one even get here? They shouldn’t be here. That bothered him. Haou-sama’s castle sat near volcanic mountains, nowhere near the lush and fertile area that he’d grown up in. Normally Demon Beaver and the like lived in places with a great deal of trees and foliage to gnaw through.

Someone had to have brought it there, he decided. Exactly who he couldn’t – no. Wait. He did know. He’d seen the culprit at dinner for several days now.

Fallen Angel Lucifer. He’d never seen the angel even from a distance before. But he knew the name. It hadn’t meant anything to him before; he’d not thought much about the Fallen Angels since leaving the ruins of his homeland, seeking a strong master to offer his duel disk and his weapons to. He knew that there had been a feud between those of Dark World and the Fallen Angels but it hadn’t seemed to matter that much.

Now what did this creature want with Haou-sama? Guardian Baou refused to allow something to happen to his master.

Not that he thought anyone like Lucifer could actually hurt Haou-sama. But his liege didn’t need to waste his time on such a lowly adversary.

He considered carefully his course of action, then headed down to the kitchen to give some orders.

Three waxing and waning of the comet’s light – three days and three nights, by the metrics of some worlds. Demon Beaver popped up at any meal that had something sweet, gobbling it all, giving a quick look around, and then vanishing. Haou-sama hadn’t said anything more about the matter than he had the first night. A reward for the one who brought him proof of Demon Beaver’s demise and nothing more.

On the fourth dinner after that first encounter, the same dessert from that original encounter was brought out. Haou didn’t react – though those close to him might have caught a glimpse of thinning lips and a flicker of tension. Almost any who did would have merely written it off as expecting the annoying creature to come back.

Just as Haou-sama reached for a slice of fruit, Demon Beaver tumbled out of the thick shadows, and squealed at the sight of the dessert, an even greater serving than the one before. It darted swiftly forward, tiny hands reaching for the largest nut available.

In the heartbeat before it touched, Haou’s armored hand landed on Demon Beaver’s horn, driving it forward into the stone table, while his other hand pinched the bat-like wings together even as they attempted to beat to get away. Nothing the creature did could get it away from that relentless grip as Haou hefted it off of the table, wrenching the horn out as he did.

He raised it up to stare at it. “Whose servant are you?” His voice hadn't changed. Cold and crisp and without a shred of true emotion, the voice of a king.

Tiny squeaks were emitted from the creature. Haou-sama’s eyes narrowed before he turned to glance at a patch of empty air – that wasn’t empty a moment later. A fluffy Hane Kuriboh fluttered there, squeaking at Demon Beaver, who squeaked back. Then Hane Kuriboh turned to Haou-sama and said something that no one else could understand.

Slowly Haou-sama turned his head, golden gaze scraping across those seated below the Death Duelists. “Fallen Angel Lucifer.”

The angel stiffened, hands tightening into fists. “Yes, Haou-sama?” He kept his voice as cool as possible.

Guardian Baou grinned wickedly. “I knew it was you. Who else would send one of those things around to bother people?”

Haou-sama gestured him to silence as he rose to his feet. “It seems there is a feud between your lands and those of Brron, which I now rule.”

“That was my original intent,” Lucifer said, his wings sweeping back and forth. “But not at the moment. I only wished to – learn about you.”

Guardian Baou didn’t wait for an order. Nor did the other Death Duelists. The five of them encircled Lucifer, Chaos Sorcerer with his sword out, the others wielding their own weapons or magical energies. But Haou shook his head.

“And what have you learned?” He didn’t sound even remotely amused. But he never did.

“That you are a mighty warrior and king and it is in the best interests of the Fallen Angels to call an end to the old feud and ” Lucifer hesitated over his words only for a few seconds. “Request an alliance with you, great lord.”

Haou regarded him with those unsettling golden eyes. “And your purpose in letting this creature roam here?”

“I only wanted to learn and Demon Beaver has served my family for ages. I gave it no orders to steal anything of yours.” Lucifer promised, wings wiggling even more. “In fact, if you choose to skin the beast, I have no objections at all.”

Again Haou’s eyebrows quirked the faintest bit. Then he tossed it back to Lucifer. “You are a duelist?”

“Yes, Haou-sama,” Lucifer nodded, catching the little creature and setting it on the table. Demon Beaver grumbled and wriggled, and Lucifer rested a hand on its head. It wasn't quite calming, but it at least quieted down.

“Then you will duel someone of my choosing. If you win, then your Fallen Angels will become my servants. If you lose – I will destroy your entire realm and add it to my own.”

Lucifer’s hands tightened on Demon Beaver. “And if I choose not to duel?”

The smile held not a scrap of joy to it. “Then I will destroy your realm and add it to my own – and you will aid me in doing so.”

At once Lucifer shook his head. “There’s nothing you can do which would make me do that.”

Snoww laughed at his denial. “You’re unaware of the depths of Haou-sama’s power, I see. If he chooses to shatter your will and make you his slave, then so will you be. You have the chance to bend your knee to him freely – I would suggest that you take it.”

Lucifer’s eyes darted all around, briefly landing on Guardian Baou, who smirked back at him wickedly. “Then I will duel Guardian Baou.”

“I said that you’ll duel someone of my choosing.” Haou nodded towards the guards, who moved forward to seize Lucifer by the arms and wings. “Take him to his quarters. Ensure that no one approaches him until I command otherwise.”

Lucifer wriggled and struggled, but the guards that Haou-sama chose were too strong, supported by his magic, and they carried him away, Demon Beaver with him. Guardian Baou turned to his master as the great door closed behind them.

“Haou-sama,” Guardian Baou dropped down to one knee. “Please, I beg of you – allow me to defeat that foul upstart. He cannot be trusted – none of those Fallen Angels can be. Please, let me wipe their name from the world.”

“No.” Haou replied without hesitation. “You need not worry about him. I have someone else in mind already.

Guardian Baou looked as if he were about to protest. The words died on his lips the moment that Haou stared down at him. He dropped his head in submission.

“As you wish, Haou-sama. May I ask who your champion will be?”

“No.” And with that, Haou stalked out of the room, with a casual flick of his cape.

Dinner had been absolutely forgotten in the wake of events. Now everyone scattered, thinning out into tiny clumps of people who gabbled back and forth with one another, trying to figure out who would fight for Haou-sama’s honor. Perhaps it would be Haou-sama himself? Would he give the Fallen Angel that much honor? Or perhaps it would be a prisoner. There were a few who hadn’t yet met their end still held in the dungeon.

A few whispered of some of the rebels who gathered together in hidden corners of the land. No one wanted to speak of them to Haou, but rumors ran rampant of an odd pair, one in black, the other in white. Rumors bounded but no one knew their names or even if they existed. Only whispered accounts from distant viewings had even a hint of their reality.

Guardian Baou tried not to pout very much. He wanted above all else to slay the Fallen Angel, to end the memories that had lasted all this time. But if Haou-sama chose to give this honor to someone else, then so be it.

“Perhaps it will be my sister,” Chaos Sorcerer mused. “Chaos Hunter is an extremely skilled duelist and warrior. I would be pleased to see her fight for Haou’s cause.”

Skilled Black Magician shrugged. “We have a cousin who could also do well – Skilled Blue Magician. But I can’t say if he’s even in the area. He’s been traveling a long time.”

No one could come to any kind of decision and they finally dispersed altogether, returning to whatever work or pleasures that this most unusual dinner hour interrupted.

Guardian Baou. Lucifer’s lip curled at the thought of that fool. He vaguely recalled that there had been a village on the border many years earlier that he’d hired Evil Rats and Demon Beavers to gnaw into so the mercenary army he’d collected could clean it out. Apparently there had been a survivor. That hadn’t meant much to him then. All it meant now was that it had interrupted his delicate scheming.

He would have to duel. He didn’t know yet who his opponent would be, but it didn’t matter. Whoever it was, he would quickly end them. He wasn’t interested in submitting to Haou but if it kept him and his people alive long enough to find a way to dispose of Haou, then it would be worth it.

Besides, he rather liked the idea of killing someone. It had been far too long since he’d done that. He didn’t want to lose the knack.

Lucifer remained imprisoned in his room for three more turns of the comet. Demon Beaver stayed with him, whether the creature wished to or not. Whenever it tried to get through the shadows, it simply reappeared elsewhere in the room. Clearly the work of Haou’s spellcasters.

At last the guards returned and this time they didn’t bring food. This time he was escorted out to where Haou and his Death Duelists awaited. Haou spoke as soon as he entered the arena.

“I have chosen your opponent.” With a flick of his hand, another person was escorted into the arena. Lucifer stared at who it was, his throat drying in fear.

“Desire?” He murmured, seeing his younger brother there. Desire stared back at him.

“Lucifer. I thought-” Desire whipped around to stare up at Haou, shaking his head. “You told me that I was fighting for my people!’

“And so you are.” Haou said with that endless calm. “Fallen Angel Lucifer, if you win this duel, then your people serve me and your realm becomes a part of mine. If you lose this duel, then I will destroy your people and leave nothing but memories.” He turned his attention to Desire. “Fallen Angel Desire. “The same holds true for you – victory brings servitude and survival. Loss means death for all of yours.”

Both started to shake their heads. Snoww politely cleared her throat from where she stood. “Do remember – if you fail to battle as Haou-sama wishes, then your lands and people are also forfeit – as is your free will. If you value that, then battle as warriors unafraid.”

Desire and Lucifer turned back to one another. Lucifer squared up his shoulders and flipped his wings out, preparing for what might be the final battle of his entire life. Desire followed suit.

“If that’s the way that it is, then I will miss you, my brother.”

Desire held out his arm and his duel disk appeared on it. “I Fear those are the words that I should speak to you, brother. Have you any words for me to give to Asmodeus when I return home?”

“To do what is proper,” Lucifer advised him. Desire nodded, clearly not happy about the order, but he would obey. Asmodeus was Lucifer’s heir, as he had no children of his own yet. If he did end up falling, Asmodeus would be the one to assume his throne.

And he would be the one to seek vengeance against the one who forced Desire to slay his own kin. Haou-sama might be a powerful human, but he was nothing more than human. His power could not stand to that of the Fallen Angels, and he would learn that in the most painful of ways.

He did so hope that he would be there to see that happen. Perhaps he would even be there to teach the lesson himself.

He raised up his duel disk. All of the Fallen Angels sparred most carefully against one another and watched as they dueled others. He knew Desire’s moves as Desire knew his. It was possible to tell who might win this battle. Perhaps in the end, it didn’t matter. The true enemy would be Haou – and someday, there would be revenge. Until then, if nothing else, it would be the grandest fight of his life.

The same word fell from his lips and Desire’s in the same moment.

“Duel!”

The End

Notes: Picking just one thing for this prompt wasn't easy. There's just so much I would love to see more of! But I decided on this: more of Juudai's time ruling Dark World. As well as Dark World politics and how various factions interact.

[comeallyelost]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3x12 Thoughts

This episode honestly left such a bad taste in my mouth that part of me doesn’t even feel like reviewing it.

It’s like the little hope I had left for enjoying the remainder of the season all went to shit.

1. June/Eleanor/Commander Lawrence

Up until now, my biggest issue with the “get the kids out” storyline was its believability. That June singlehandedly orchestrated all of this out of some misplaced grief for Hannah and regret for what she did to Natalie. Like it had never occurred to anyone else in the complex network of the resistance to try to get kids out? A resistance, mind you, which we have yet to understand and was painted as super complicated in S2 when Nick organized June’s first escape and he had barely any info throughout the entire thing.

But now. NOW. June is so dead set on her mission that she let Eleanor OD and commit suicide?! It barely makes any sense at all. Because Lawrence’s WHOLE reason for helping June was for the sole purpose of getting Eleanor out and getting her proper treatment. At the expense of his freedom. Because despite his ambiguous alliances, his love for his wife went above all of that.

I hate this version of June. And the backbone for her “development” is so frail and stupid. I mentioned it in an earlier episode review that I got the same Mad Queen Dany vibes from Game of Thrones. 

I really felt for Lawrence this ep. If this season did one thing well, it was his character. I’m guessing based on the last scene that he knows June let this happen. My question is why is he still going through with the escape if his wife is gone? He seems to have no one else and all that will be waiting for him outside of Gilead is prison. I know he can help with intel to the Americans, but does he even want to? Maybe he feels like he owes it to Eleanor? Idk.

And Eleanor. They did her character such an injustice. She really was sweet and kind and lovely. And also, I think with her illness, she embodied a lot Gilead’s failures. Proof that this society takes a toll on people. Proof that mental illness is no  joke. That it requires proper treatment. And that people cannot survive in a society like this. Like Lawrence mentioned, Gilead failed to account for mental illness. She deserved better.

2. On Serena:

Yo so this bish for real sold out her husband for some time with the baby? I’m still not certain how that is supposed to work. Is she going to have like permanent visits with her or something? 

Serena is a WAR CRIMINAL. She helped build Gilead too. Just because she turned one in doesn’t automatically giver her a free pass. That logic does not work. I can see Commander Lawrence’s logic--he brings in 52 kids and some intel so maybe he gets a pardon or a limited sentence. Maybe Nick does the same--proves he’s part of the resistance and gives endless intel if he turns himself in. But Serena is doing none of that. She’s turning Fred in. But Fred’s not gonna talk, he’s just on trial. And Serena has no plans on talking either. She just wants the baby. 

If the show highlighted how this is white feminism/white privilege at its finest, then maybe I’d believe it and get on board with whatever the story brings. But it’s not acknowledging it whatsoever.

This episode also felt like one of those instances where June and Serena are both treated as the leads of the series. Especially because of the episode title, “Sacrifice”. June sacrifices Eleanor, Serena sacrifices Fred. Both do it for their own selfish “causes”. As if Serena has had it so hard. Her desperation to be with the baby is getting to be a bit much, I think. 

I’m getting mad vibes from Tuello. I’m honestly intrigued, but who tf knows if anything is gonna come of that storyline given the awful job they’ve done with exploring plot lines.

Moira is da best. A+ 

3. On the trajectory of June’s character:

So Fred at one point tells Luke that June is no longer the person she was before Gilead and, yes, I think we can all agree since we have seen her change and grow(?) in her fight to survive. But did they really need to take it so far that she is now like...drunk on some pseudo power she thinks she has because she convinced a few people to shuffle some kids around and she killed a Commander? 

Honestly, this is the same version of June we saw when she was driving Natalie to madness. Her energy is just being harnessed elsewhere. Which, if that IS the case, then she hasn’t changed for the better at all. She hasn’t changed period.

Why are writers trying to make our favorite heroines/protagonists into shitty people? We watch because we’re rooting for them. You can make them interesting without rewiring their moral compass, their intentions, their inner being. UGH. I’m just so annoyed.

I miss the June that was sassy and witty. The June that never relinquished her power to others despite her social standing. She was fierce and intelligent and learned how to navigate situations. OF COURSE I’m expecting her to change and adapt over time. We’ve seen her struggle with her coping mechanisms constantly. But ultimately we want to see her triumph. We don’t want her to go mad with power or become a villain. I’m tired of this Breaking Bad approach to main characters. A lot of TV shows are suffering from it and tbh it’s shit. And it’s an easy out for the “complex character” argument.

4. Predictions for the finale/ Thoughts on this season:

I can already tell there are going to be so many unanswered questions and I just...give up. I’ve held on this season because of how much I adored the first two. But there’s been way too much left unexplored and for no good reason because there have been countless filler episodes.

We’ve seen NOTHING of Emily’s readjustment in Canada. Nothing of Luke and Moira raising the baby. Or Luke coping after June’s tape for that matter. 

The political situation in Gilead remains super ambiguous despite all those mentions of Chicago at the beginning of the season and all the extradition issues with the baby.

Speaking of Chicago, don’t even get me started on Nick’s absence and all of THAT wasted potential. We could have learned SO much about the resistance and about what was going on at the front. The writers found a way to keep the Waterfords relevant even when they were not directly connected to June anymore. They could have just as easily have done it for Nick’s character too. Wtf. He was IMPORTANT. He’s not merely a love interest here. He fell victim to Gilead too and that storyline would have been awesome to explore. And also WTF HAPPENED TO THE SWISS?!

And where are the other handmaids? Alma and Janine were supposed to help too! 

Looking back at the trajectory of this season, there really was a HUGE disconnect after the DC episode (3x06). The first half of the season set us up for a lot of things and almost none of them were explored/ expanded on.

You know what it kind of reminds me of? Like when you set up a really good argument for a paper you’re writing, but then it’s barely held together by the end because you procrastinated too much and have to submit it. 

[popculturebuffet]

Analysis of X: X-Men 2k19 #1: Little Scotty, Happy at Last

Dawn of X Begins with an average day for Grand Captain of Krakoa, Scott Summers: Racist Science Gorillas, sexual tension with his former arch enemy’s daughter, and family dinner where his former insane god emperor brother burns the steak while his dad’s space family drops in to his house on the moon. We’ve all been there. Join me under the cut, it’s bang zoom straight to the moon. 

I’ve been a huge X-Men fan since my teens, gobbling up various books, enjoying the hell out of them, and genuinely loving this team, the love only growing with each book I read. Some better than others, we’ll get there, but I have a huge amount of love for the team and i’ts offshoots, so marvel basically taking a bat to the franchise’s nuts for the last 5 years or so, the final embarrassment being the filler stories used to buy time for House and Powers of X. But said series have lifted the clouds: Writers are finally allowed to actually write again, the landscape has shifted and the x-men are truly interesting again. I waited feverishly for House of X #1 to come out. It did not disapoint and while i’ll certainly dive into that series at some point, i’d rather catch the dawn of x as it comes, and thus being a week behind, we come to X-Men # 1. For those of you who didn’t keep up with hosue and powers... Previously on... 

While humans slept, the world change. Professor Xavier and Magneto founded Krakoa, an island soley for mutants, though humans can visit it’s various embassys. in exchange for Nationhood and Amnesty for it’s less desirable members, mutantkind sells them flowers from Krakoa, the island that walked like a man and is fully sentient, that can cure all manner of diseases. The nationhood is approved by the end of the series and mutants at last have a safe paradise to enjoy life in. 

It turns out this power play was in part thanks to Moira Mactaggert, longtime X-Men ally.. and as the series reveals secret mutant who lives a new life every time she dies.. and after 9 failures decides to break the wheel, tell xavier and magneto they always loose and set up a long game. After setbacks due to charles optimism and Erik turning against her, she suceeds.  Said longgame turns out to not only be the nation but using 5 mutants in concert to cheat death. Just about every notable mutant that we’re aware of is alive and well. Death is no consequence for mutants.. as proven when an assault on anti-mutant groups Orichis, made up of agents from various secret agencies across Marvel past and present, big satiltie head results in the whole team dying but the mission being accomplished.. but at the cost of a ton of humans, and with a sacrifice from Erasamus, wife of top scientist Dr. Gregor

Good. With that in hand, let’s start the showwww. We open on...

Sadly, it’s not Garnet but Charles Xavier, urging a young Cyclops to open his eyes. As it will turn out he’s given Scott his first pair of ruby quartz sunglasses, the red peepers that allow Scotty to open his eyes without killing everything he sees, but Scott is scared to open them, afraid of hurting him. Charles gently tells Scott that he understands Scott not wanting to hurt someone, but keeping his eyes shut because of fear? That’s what they do. And he doesn’t have to go through life stumbling around afraid like humanity is of mutantkind. He can be better. So scott opens his eyes, opens his eyes. 

They work, and Charles closes out this great opener promising “Oh the things i’ll show you.”. You know god like aliens that look like your grandpa, far more aliens than you’d expect for a comic about mutants, whatever the fuck vanisher’s wearing, a weirdo calling himsel fthe living monolith that turns into a giant man, and whatever the hell a demi-man is. Seriously look at him. 

What IS that? I truly don’t know. And that’s just before you turn 18. With that and the title for our issue, “Pax Krakoa” and Hickman’s standard cast chart thing out of the way we get into the story proper. Our heroes have been busy since the rager at the end of House of X and once the island’s hangover wore off, set to work dismantling Orichis, something I like as sometimes the X-Men tend to sit on their hands a while with these genocidal assholes. Well it’s a new day and Cyclops and storm are tearing shit up, though Storm almost misses a sentinel because she’s tired.

Scott, at least it’s human sized. You’ve missed far bigger targets. 

I wonder if they knew it was Christmas Time at all? Or maybe simply having a wonderful Christmas Time for a sentinel is roasting mutants over an open fire. 

Regardless, Scott soon figures the fact their stupidly trying to hold the omega level mutant and experinced trained badass off means their hiding something and have Magneto literally tear the roof off this place, before he has his daughter Polaris clears the humans away. 

Cyke clears off the lock and Magneto gently tells him to step aside so he can finish it off, showing clear respect for Scott, something that makes perfect sense to me. He’s fought beside him in two teams, trained his time lost younger self whose memories scott has, and even fighting against him always respected Scott’s strength and conviction. It’s a subtle touch but it’s there and shows that, hickman really gets these two and why they’ve been one of the strongest parts of  his run. Some panicked Orichis Scientests decide the datacore, and whatever their guarding, is too important and decide to stab themselves with science.. and the result.. is sublimely ridiculous. 

I fucking love this book and Hickman’s wilingnesss to remind you “yeah the marvel universe is fucking weird and I love it that way. “ me too man, me too. And it somehow gets weirder. But Mags agrees to hold them off while Cyke goes after whatever they were guarding.. which turns out to be stasis tubes full of mutant children. Cyclopes and Lorna prepare to open them the fuck up while Storm makes a gateway back to Krakoa. only one of the tubes.. dosen’t contain a mutant but something diffrent...

A post-human who’s desyched with time and quickly vanishes, who storm hypotheises is from the Vault, which I don’t know enough about to go into at this time, and she soon vanishes. Magneto and daughter want to peruse her like a hunted animal but Scott, having some empathy, declares they have more important things to do and he’ll track her down if the Council asks. But for now...

This is what I love of HIckman’s Scott Summers: He’s a nice blend of past and future. He has the badass dedication of Claremont, the snark of Whedon and the leadership qualities he’s always had, without falling into being a massive dick as he would sometimes due to poor writing post decimation. He’s no longer the man who has to make the hard choices to survivie or fight against his own friends because they still blame him for a death he was hopped up on unstable emotinally enhancing space god during, he’s a man who wants to keep his people safe, enjoy his life, as we’ll see, and fight as hard as he has to for the innocent wether their his species or not. This is peak Scott Summers and after years of mistreatment i’m sure i’ll get to eventually, this is a GLORIOUS change. 

Our heroes return to Krakoa where Dr. Ceilia Reyes is looking after the rescued children. Since she’s kind of a minor character, Celia is a doctor that can create force fields and never really WANTED to be an X-Man but was essentially fired for being a mutant and had nowhere else to go. She was one of three additions to the X-Men at the time and the only one I really liked the other two being Maggot (who’s power is gross but throughly intresting but whose personality at the time is throughly obnoxious and stereotypical) and Marrow, who at least in her intial apperances is just gross, agressive and annoying. Ceilia was a victim of circumstance, engaging and i’m happy to see her back. Dr. Reyes assures, as seen above, that the kids are fine and that Krakoa is more than equiped to help them. IT’s part of what sells this as a mutant refuge: traumatized Mutants are no longer forced to stew in their trauma but have decent help and genetics to help with the worse aspects of their powers. We then get a nice character bit with storm as she decides to stay with two of the young mutants, a pair of silent blue and gold mutants radiating energy. 

Speaking of returns to form. Ororo is back from being a plot ping pong ball for various writers and is once again the soul of the X-Men and this is a reminder why: She will never stop fighting for her people but she’ll take equal time caring for them and was likely an excellent queen as rushed as that relationship is and as messy as her reconciliation with t’challa is likely to be now she’s living in a country opposed to his. Yet another of the 80 or so intriguing plot threads this era has set up for other books, X or Not , to pickup. We then get a sight that clearly unsettles Scott. 

No no nothing THAT bad. No what he gets... is this. 

Magneto, his old arch enemy, being treated like a celebrity and hero among the children. Their Tom Hanks if you will, another great character scene as Magneto, being seated as hero and savior of his kind as he always felt he should be. 

Naturally Scott is unnerved by this but for the sake of diplomacy keeps his mouth shut and instead makes time with Magneto’s daughter, inviting her back with him for family dinner. While he does mention her ex and his brother Alex will be there.. it’s subtly hinted there may be more here. And I like it and her refusal as she needs time for the past to be the past and for her to adjust, feels like Lorna when previously she’d been a rather out of character obdient daughter, something I hope Hickman explores and is not just a sudden change for the free spirited, strong willed, snarky daughter of the big M. Also as you can tell i’m not a huge fan of Scott’s brother alex who is barely in this. He’s just never been utilized well and she deserves better.  When asked his thoughts, Scott gives a nice speech about how scared he was having his son and the horrors his son would face.. and given his son was infected with a virus, shunted to the future, became mother fucking cable, and has died twice and has now been replaced by his teenage self who murdered him, yeah, he was right to be scared. but now his son is in a place of peace, and he feels he’s finally achived his dreams and all the fighting and bloodshed has been worth something.

But family dinner will have to wait and we get back to Orichis meeting their leader, Director Devo, who tells them to whip it .. whip it good. Okay obligatory joke aside, we do see a funeral for the soldiers that were killed during House of X. 

Devo and Karima talk over the disaster, how while their location around the sun, in the solar satlite thing reed richards and tony star built, and before you assume the worst they were both thought dead at the time it was stolen, is good for keeping humans from raiding them, it’s not really enough to stop MUTANTS, and Devo wishes he’d been there to stop the slaughter. Really nothing of HUGE consequence, just some plot movement and huminzation of the racist malitia.. which works. While their still not necearily good people: Karima took up with the very kind of people who turned her into what she is, and they kidnapped children just for being diffrent, they are still more than carboard cutout characteratures of racist. These are scared, frightned people wanting to halt what should be inevitible. However it also, like some of mutantkind’s shakier actions recently, dosen’t excuse it either: their still plotting genocide to save themselves instead of trying to find a peaceful solution, and while yes the X-Men strongarmed their way to peace, it was after a good decade and a half of racist  slaughter and trying to be a good example while mankind did hardly anything to help. The mutants, at least to me, end up coming off as more sympathetic simply because they’ve suffered while mankind, even the superhumans, did nothing. While Orichis is more understandable than most anti-mutant militia’s they are NOT heroes. While some of the krakoans may not qualify either and some are outright monsters, Orichis are trying to do a genocide out of fear instead of doing what the X-Men did for years: find peace even though it’s not the easy option. Show you DESERVE to live side by side instead of shunning them so much their forced to make their own home and keep you out this time. Their taking the easy  way out, as did so many other superheroes in turning away, as did so many civliains in giving into fear, and that’s why their the bad guys. Krakoa is far from perfect, but Orichis is not even close. 

One diatribe later, we find ourselves at Scott Summer’s house....

On the fucking moon! As scott says above, he figured why settle and always loving space as a kid, and having lived there in one of his two teen lives, he figured why not. It also explains how Krakoa can be there: while humans can’t live on Krakoa, they can visit the embassies, and given my rant above, you can see why maybe their being a bit paranoid. But yes scott’s pirate dad is visiting. Which is awkard given that his son who killed him is currently grilling steaks int he kitchen. 

Yeah for those of you only casually aware of X-Men, or even just recent fans who wisely skipped Deadly Genisis, he might take some explaning: This is Gabriel Summers. He was born from his dying mother and made a slave, got back to earth, and then charles foolishly used him as the dry run for the all new all diffrent x-men, who all got killed by Krakoa. Double awkard given he now lives in part of him. Two surivived, the other being Darwin who went on to great things in Peter David’s X-Factor and I hope comes back here, and Gabriel later came back pissed as hell, killed a lot of people and became emperor of the shiar then died saving the universe after going crazy town banana pants. Oh and he also killed empress lilandra, Xavier’s long time lady love and empress of the shiar. 

I shoudln’t of been able to make that joke twice, but the X-Men are insanely complicated and Gabe wasn’t a favorite of mine due to being a one dimensional psychopath and making Charles into kinda  huge dick for getting some people killed and then never telling the rest of the X-Men. But here.. he’s fucking hilarious, going on long rants about fire and generally coming off as an entertaining nutjob. Other family activities include kid cable, another character I wasn’t crazy about, trading guns with Corsair’s buddy Raza. Just treating him like a normal teen made him instantly more likable than he has been as a know it all dickhead what killed the original vastly more likable Cable, and giving him a chance at a happy child and adulthood instead of years of misery and war. In one issue Hickman actually made me like two characters I previously couldn't stand... props to him and his hard work. We also get a touching scene where Scott gives his dad a krakoan flower to plant on the Starjammer, his ship, so he can visit anytime, a really touching gesture and a really nice moment. Now that’s out of the way, as the summers have dinner and gabe presumibly rants about fire off screen... it’s time for the elephant in the room. 

If you look closely.. you’ll notice Scott, Jean and Logan all have interconnected rooms. No one has shut up about this since the comic was released and understandably so, as it means that their either both in a relationship with jean or, and I doubt this is true but I can hope, all three are dating each other. Me.. I like it especially if it’s the latter. After all the romantic bullshit i’ve had to deal with, it’s nice to have either possible polyamory, treated as safe and normal, or more likely an open relationship treated the same without it being a farce. Logan finally gets a shot with Jean, Scott still gets her but is free to explore other avenues given he’s been in only two relationships in his lifetime, but still be together and raise their son together. I like it a lot and i’m sure future X-Men issues will fill this out a bit. I also wouldn’t mind a Scott/Logan relationship, as it relay woudln’t hurt to have two of marvel’s biggest heroes be either bi or pansexual.  With dinner finished Corsair offers to help Scott with dishes, only for him to only turn him down because Krakoa uses goo to both wash and dry.. and this was a COMPROMISE over edible plates that just.. no. No thank you. Corsair takes this chance to have a heart to heart over his misgivings at mutantkind’s new mission, especially as a human, and we get one of the best scenes of the issue, if not the best. 

And we see how Hickman, rather than just paper over Scott’s shadier moments over the last decade, instead has Scott evolve past them. He’s done trying to just survive. He wants more than that. Without the terrifying brain computer that sometimes comes with that, but he wants to enjoy his life. He’ll never stop having to fight.. but instead of focusing on the fight every day.. he’s focusing on those he loves and cares about. And we see now WHY he belivies in Krakoa. he may have his doubts, his misgivings.. but after about 15 years of fighting just to make it out alive.. he gets to live. To have fun, to have somewhere where he can be safe, where he dosen’t have to worry about some psychotic jackass sending robots to blow up the kids in his care in the middle of the night. He’ll still give mutantkind every ounce of fight he has, but he can switch it off now... he’s letting himself be happy and it’s just wonderful to see. But of course, this wouldn’t make much of an ending that entices the reader to buy next issue would it... so we check back in on Orichis one last time. 

Devo checks in on Dr.Gregor, finding she wasn’t at the funeral and while he’s fine with rage fueling her work, he’s not so crazy about her using it to sublimate her grief. In truth she knows they didn't have enough to bury.. and more importantly... it may be moot for you see....

And just in case you missed it like I did, said crystal with his memory... looks just like Nimrod’s.. aka the badly named turbo sentinel that has always been key in snuffing out mutant kind. Ruh-Roh. 

Final Thoughts:  This issue kept the momentum and story from Powers and House going, but rooted it more in character, continuing Hickman’s cleanup job on Scott Summers, while doing some on his family, and creating a truly great start to the new era. My only complaint is sometimes Yu’s art looks a bit off when it comes to faces and as with his previous teamup with hickman on avengers, sometimes takes me out of the story.. but the story is so riviting and the better moments of art so stunning that it can’t bring this book down. The future continues to be bright for the x-men.  If you liked this review, reblog or follow, feel free to request an issue for me to review for 3 bucks a pop, or vote in the poll I have going for what dawn of x related issue i’m going to review that closes this friday. And until next time, farewell my x-people. 

[fantasyfandommaiden]

ML Counsellor AU: Tikki’s session

The first thing Tikki did when Plagg told her about how he spoke with a human that wasn’t a Miraculous wielder, she gave him a proper scolding. She reminded him about how they were suppose to remain hidden, there were rules for this reason. However when he kept insisting that she should talk to this Counsellor, especially with the anniversary of Joan’s passing coming closer, she begins to wonder if talking to someone outside of the whole situation wouldn’t be a terrible idea....

Sequel to Plagg’s Session

Tikki glared at Plagg as he continued to look at her with a coy expression. It was ten o’clock at night, and both of their chosen’s were asleep in bed.

Tikki was about to go to sleep, try and forget what day it was, when Plagg phased through the walls of Marinette’s home, in hushed whispers telling her to come with him, and no, don’t wake Marinette she’ll just slow them down and they don’t need her.

They had flown onto the balcony when Plagg told her where he was going to take her. She was not pleased.

“You spoke to Mlle Regal?! And she saw you?!” She almost yelled but stopped herself for fear of waking Marinette. “We agreed to wait and see what she would do! We don’t know for sure if she even knows who Ladybug and Chat Noir ARE!”

“Oh, trust me Sugar Cube, she knows-“

“Yes, NOW she does because you revealed yourself because you got over protective! There are rules we have to follow Plagg!” She insisted to him.

“Hey! Relax. She isn’t going to talk.” He insisted “I have a feeling she has known for awhile.” He said placing his small nubs on Tikki’s shoulders “If anything she kind of reminds me of one of Trixx’s old chosen’s, what his name, the Pie guy?”

Tikki blinked, looking at her counterpart with a confused expression on her face as she thought it over “... the Pie guy?”

“Yeah, the German dude? From Hamlen or something?”

Her eyes widen noticeably “... do you mean The Pied Piper?!”

“Yeah! Him! With how he took the orphans out of that awful place to protect them, and took all the abused children as well.” He said “After that mean mayor refused to pay him for getting the rats out of the village.”

“... Plagg, the Pied Piper made illusions of rats so he could get paid. Yes it was noble of him to rescue the children, but don’t just omit facts like that.” Tikki said, but Plagg just shrugged.

“Still, she’s a protector. She won’t turn on your bug or my kitten. Anyways, that’s besides the point!” He said “You should talk to her, about, you know...” he trailed off, clearly hesitant to continue talking but spoke none the less. “... Joan.”

If Tikki could turn more red, she would as she felt rage build up in her “I don’t need to talk to anyone Plagg! I am fine! I have moved on and had many amazing and extraordinary bugs since than!”

“... so she wasn’t extraordinary?” He asked evenly.

She glared at him “Of course she was! Joan was amazing! And kind! And so loyal, and a believer, and she didn’t deserve what happened, and, and...” the kwami of creation didn’t notice she was crying until she had to blink away the tears that began to form in her eyes.

“... I have to go back to Marinette... good night Plagg.” She turned around and began to fly back before giving a small surprised yelp as she felt Plagg grab her by her small tail and began to drag her through the sky.

“Nope! Your coming with me! Ladybug will be fine for an hour without you watching her sleep!”

“PLAAAAAAAGG!”

~~~~~~~

Tikki continued to glare at Plagg as the floated outside the window of Mlle Regal’s apartment.

Plagg was still grinning widely in his mischievous manner “Come on Sugar Cube! Look she’s even still awake!” He said gesturing to the woman sitting at the table, with a book open in front of her. Tikki also noticed how there we’re two small cushions, perfect for someone of her size to fit on, and small doll tea cups, which looked comical next to the woman’s extremely large mug.

“... Master Fu is going to be so upset with you!” Tikki insisted, not moving from her spot.

Plagg simply shrugged “Only if you tell him, now come on! I smell Camembert!” He said, quickly phasing through the window before Tikki could stop him. She witnessed the kwami of destruction fly straight to the woman, giving a small greeting before promptly attacking the cheese platter. The woman gave a small smile, giving a small greeting in return as she closed the book, turning it around to face Plagg, and he stopped eating his cheese mid-bite, dropping the piece on the platter.

Tikki’s eyes widened at that, and she quickly raced inside, looking down at the book that Plagg was completely transfixed on. It looked like a simple book, the kind that are printed just for the sake of printing and not for money.

The title was in English, and read ‘The Village Cat, the story of Brielle.’ Tikki was confused and looked at Plagg but noticed his eyes becoming misty “... s...someone wrote... about my kitten?” He asked, looking up at Mlle Regal.

The woman shook her head “Not quite. It was actually a diary they found, that was in surprisingly good condition. I have a friend who does investigations about different news related things, and I briefly remember him talking about this a few years ago.” She said gently “I don’t know if it’s the same Brielle... but I figured you would want to read it.”

Plagg opened the book without a word, facing away from Mlle Regal and Tikki, silently reading the book.

Mlle Regal looked at Tikki with a soft smile “... I take it your Tikki.” She said softly, taking a sip of her tea. Tikki recognized the scent as an earl grey blend, and noted that the tea pot was beside the woman “Would you like some tea?” She asked smiling.

Tikki slowly sat down on the cushion, looking up at the woman in front of her. Being the Kwami of life and creation, she could sense a few things about humans. She couldn’t see through lies like Trixx and Duusu, but she was a fairly decent judge of character.

When she looked at Mlle Regal, she felt warm, yet mysterious. Like the first day break hidden behind mist. She didn’t feel that she was in danger, and she could feel the woman’s eyes looking at her, with a patient gaze.

“... yes I am Tikki.” She said “And I would love some tea, thank you.”

The woman poured the tea into the small doll tea cup with practiced ease, Tikki taking a small sip of the contents. Her blend almost rivaled that of Master Fu, almost that is.

“... did Plagg tell you why he insisted I talk to you?” Tikki asked, looking at the woman before her. Mlle Regal shook her head, taking another sip of her tea.

“No, but I can make an educated guess that this is about your previous chosen’s.” She said softly, glancing at Plagg, who was totally enraptured in the book before him. Tikki glanced at him too, before looking back up at the woman with a surprised expression on her face.

“He told you about Brielle?” She asked in shock. Out of all of the Kwami’s that Tikki knew, Plagg was almost always the last to talk about his past chosen’s in length. This wasn’t because he wasn’t proud of them, but because he liked to keep those feelings close to himself.

Mlle Regal nodded “We we’re discussing cheese than one thing lead to another and before you know it we stayed up til 6:30 talking about his past chosen’s... he’s had quite a few.” She looked at Tikki with a kind, sympathetic expression “... I imagine you have had many as well.”

Tikki looked down at her tea cup, feeling the tears forming in her eyes again. Maybe Plagg was right... she needed to talk about it.

“... one of mine... she died today a little over 600 years ago. Today is the anniversary of that day.” She looked up at Mlle Regal, a sad smile on her face as tears threatened to fall from her eyes “She was a very brave bug. So loyal, and kind. My sweet Joan...”

Mlle Regal’s eyes widened at the name, her mouth agape “Y-you mean...?”

Tikki nodded, still smiling sadly “Yes. The one and the same. Joan was an amazing Ladybug, although she didn’t use that name.” Tikki said softly “... when she was to be out to trial, she gave up the Miraculous, she didn’t want them to fall into the wrong hands, to be used for evil... she didn’t want me to see what would happen to her...” Tikki let out a small hiccup as the tears finally began to fall. “She was only 19... she wasn’t my youngest chosen ever, but still she had so much to live for! She did so much for France, and she was betrayed and called a traitor!”

Tikki was rambling now but she didn’t care, she put the tea cup down, perhaps a bit more forcefully than necessary, but continued to speak “She was called a traitor, and it wasn’t until 23 years later she was deemed innocent, but what good does that do?! She died! For a stupid reason, and-and-“ the tears continued to fall as she let out a painful sob “and she died all alone... I-i couldn’t even be there for her in her final moments...” she cried, her small form shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. “I couldn’t do anything to help her... I am the Kwami of Life and Creation, and I, who is suppose to be as powerful as a god, could do nothing to help her.”

Mlle Regal looked at Tikki with a sympathetic expression on her face, brining out a small box of Kleenex, to which the kwami gladly took it. Plagg finally had dragged his eyes away from the book as he heard Tikki’s sobs, looking at his counterpart with a sympathetic expression that only someone who went through the same pain would understand.

“Miss. Tikki...” Mlle Regal began, but Tikki shook her head. “Just a Tikki...”

“Than please call me Carmine.” The woman said softly, looking at Tikki “Have you ever said these thoughts out loud?” Tikki let out another soft sob, shaking her head. Plagg floated over and placed a comforting numb on her shoulder as she shook slightly. “And how do you feel now that you’ve said it?”

Tikki took a deep breath, forcing the sadness away for a moment, really thinking about how she felt. She still felt the sadness, and the guilt, and the self-loathing for what happened to Joan, but at the same time... she felt, lighter. Like a small weight had been lifted, not enough for the sadness to disappear, but enough that it was just a bit more bearable.

“A bit better...” Tikki voiced softly “... it still hurts.”

Carmine gave her a small, sad smile “The pain never truly goes away Tikki, it will dull, and not hurt as much, but it will always be there.” She explained softly “It’s our way of remembering them once they have past. I find that for some, talking about them, remembering the fond times and not focusing on the negative, works well to help people move on.” She explained softly.

Tikki nodded, taking another deep breath as she used the Kleenex to dry her eyes, taking a deep breath before speaking again, focusing on the positive memories of Joan “... she was very brave, and liked the fact she was helping her nation, and she was so curious when she first received her Miraculous....”

~~~~~~~~

They ended up speaking the whole night, once again til 6:30 in the morning, Plagg reading away at the book of his chosen. Carmine let him take the book with him back home, and Carmine told both of them they were welcome to see her any time.

Tikki had a feeling she would again soon.

[jrobert1698-blog]

The Mandalorian Season One Review

The Mandalorian is a Disney+ original television show starring Pedro Pascal and created by Jon Favreau.  In addition to featuring a supporting cast of Gina Carano, Carl Weathers, and Giancarlo Esposito, the show also created a legend of our time: Baby Yoda.  Logging just eight episodes in its debut season, the show follows a conflicted bounty hunter as he attempts to honor the creed of his people, the customs of his profession, and his heart’s desire.  If you haven’t seen the show yet, I highly suggest you check it out.  Some spoilers lie ahead if you wish to turn back now; otherwise, “this is the way.”

I’ll be honest: I’m a really big Star Wars fan.  I should qualify that by saying I haven’t consumed every bit of the Star Wars canon, and I’m not extremely familiar with the Expanded Universe.  I know this qualifies me as scum; force choke me if you must.  Nonetheless, it is one of my favorite franchises dating all the way back to my early childhood.  This makes it somewhat difficult to review anything Star Wars related because I’m always subconsciously rooting for it to be good.  I allowed this to get the better of me with The Last Jedi, and I defended that film for far too long.  In short, I tried to approach The Mandalorian with an open mind but without letting my inner fanboy take over my sensibilities.  I’d like to believe that this review is as neutral as possible but if I do sound overexcited please forgive me. 

Before I get into The Mandalorian in detail I want to take a brief step back to 2015.  Before The Force Awakens cam out, everybody was excited to see Star Wars again.  Despite box office success, some people dismissed Episode VII as too derivative of A New Hope.  Others were just happy to have new characters, a diverse cast, and a competent director in J.J. Abrams.  I will go to the grave believing that the single biggest mistake Disney made since purchasing Star Wars was hiring Rian Johnson to direct The Last Jedi. While he is clearly capable of creating a great film in his own right, his vision clashed significantly with Abrams’ and the end result was a very divisive movie that split up the Star Wars fan base.  It made at least half the fandom bitter and jaded towards anything Star Wars that Disney produced.  People desperately needed something to unify them and make them remember why they love Star Wars again.  I’m happy to report that season one of The Mandalorian is exactly what the fans, and Disney, needed. 

I feel as though its only proper to begin a review of The Mandalorian by discussing Din Djarin himself as portrayed by Pedro Pascal.  I liked him in Game of Thrones and I like him even more here.  Some people might assume that having a mask cover your entire face makes acting easier.  To some extent this is true.  Not having to express emotions with one’s eyes and mouth alleviates some of the burden.  However, its also a unique acting challenge to make people get invested in a character whose face they can’t see.  The fact that so many love this character is a testament to good screenwriting and Pascal’s acting ability.  The audience actually roots for Mando to keep his mask on because the writers made it a crucial part of his identity.  Additionally, Pascal has to express emotion through the intonation of his voice, the speed at which he turns his helmet, and his deliberate pace when he walks.  This is far more difficult than people realize, and Pascal deserves a lot of credit for making this season the success that it was.

The character of the Mandalorian also stands out to me because in many ways he exemplifies the qualities of a good action hero.  Again, good screenwriting.  He comes off as a believable bad ass from the minute he slices a guy in half with a door in Episode 1.  However, unlike other Star Wars protagonists of late, he never feels overpowered either.  Audiences need to feel like their hero is in danger of getting hurt or dying in order for excitement to register.  There are many moments in this season where Mando gets his ass kicked.  He gets electrocuted by Jawas, gored by a Mudhorn, pinned down by Bounty Hunters and almost blown up several times.  However, like any good action hero, he always manages to bounce back and lives to fight another day.  This is why audiences truly respect this character who, at the end of the day, is just a human being like all of us. 

Another great, and perhaps underrated, aspect of this show is the amazing score by Ludwig Goransson.  I really liked his work on Black Panther as well and I’m looking forward to any future projects he works on.  This is the first time I can remember that anyone other than John Williams has made an original and memorable Star Wars score.  The main title is freakin’ awesome.  It’s the perfect blend of tribal mysticism and the military marches we’ve come to know and love.  Fortunately, this space opera comes with some great overtures to highlight it.

Before I sound like a total fanboy, let’s talk about a few issues I have with the show.  There are certainly issues you can nitpick from a canon perspective but that isn’t my main concern.  My biggest complaint would be the sometimes haphazard nature of the show.  Episode 5 in particular felt like a sizable departure from the main story.  Episode 6, while more entertaining, similarly broke from the overarching narrative to give us a little bit of Mando’s backstory.  I don’t necessarily have a problem with this video game mission approach to the show, but I do hope that some of these side quests get paid off more significantly in future episodes.  I also would have liked a more consistent emphasis on the supporting cast members like Carano’s Cara Dune and Weathers’ Greef Carga.  Even Kuill could have used more screen time if for no other purpose than to make us more attached to him before his untimely death.

My complaints, in the long run, are relatively minor.  Compared to my overall respect and enjoyment of this show, they pale in comparison.  One major reason why is that Disney spared no expense in making this show the best it could possibly be.  The visual effects, where I feared they might skimp, were better than a lot of feature films.  The show felt cinematic, like Game of Thrones did at its best.  The cinematography was mostly great as well.  I particularly liked Taika Waititi’s direction in the season finale.  That shot of Mando finally using a jetpack to latch onto Moff Gideon’s TIE Fighter deserves to be on a poster.  I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the closing shot of Gideon holding the fucking Darksaber.  I can’t wait to see Giancarlo Esposito in an expanded role in Season 2 and hopefully beyond.  If he can play half the villain he did in Breaking Bad it will be a success.

And, of course, I had to save the single best part of this show, by far, for last. Baby. Fucking. Yoda.  This is one of the most well-concealed plot twists in recent memory.  Disney, somehow, did a fantastic job of keeping Baby Yoda out of marketing materials and trailers in the pre-release process.  When I first saw that adorable green face for the first time I somehow screamed, laughed and cried out in excitement at once.  This character is great for so many reasons besides obviously being the cutest thing to come out of 2019.  The Child makes Mando extremely conflicted and puts him in the most difficult quandary of his life: honor his code as a Bounty Hunter or follow his instincts and protect this child in need?  Baby Yoda also kicks a lot of ass for a one-foot-tall fifty year old.  His obviously strong connection to the force presents a myriad of options for his future: will he train as a Jedi, be a powerful vigilante, or turn to the dark side?  I’m kidding, but I’m also serious; he did force choke Cara Dune after all.  And he’s grown up among a series of explosions, laser beams, and punchy storm troopers.  That’s a pretty traumatic childhood.  Clearly, Baby Yoda has turned into a phenomenon and sparked an infinite number of memes, songs, and art.  I think it’s well deserved and I can’t wait to see more adventures in baby sitting with our little green friend. 

My thoughts on The Mandalorian can be expressed very simply: it’s fucking awesome. There is a whole lot to like about where this story is going and what Favreau and the slew of directors have done so far.  They’ve managed to inject genuine excitement into the fan base for what feels like the first time in a very, very long time. Additionally, Disney needed to knock one out of the park in order to salvage their reputation and preserve fan interest in one of their most valuable franchises.  Despite a few minor missteps, season one of The Mandalorian is a fantastic and I eagerly anticipate season two whenever it comes out.  If you haven’t seen it yet, go check it out.  Baby Yoda alone makes it worth it.  I have spoken.

Rating: 9/10

[spn-meanttobe]

Spn Meant To Be Masterlist -2011

RPS

Title: Once Upon a Breakup Author: anyothergirl415 Artist: favoritedarknes Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jensen/OMC Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26K Warnings: AU, minor violence, extreme schmoop, background character deaths, an abudance of Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter references. Prompt: Getting Rid of Bradley Lucy Savage is finally getting rid of Bradley—and his hideous green recliner. Bradley is out of her life for good. Or so she thinks. Turns out Officer Zack Warren wants to arrest the very same Bradley for embezzlement and figures the lovely Lucy can lead him straight to his target. Good thing there's a cop around. Because someone shoots at Lucy and then blows up her car. Zack insists she needs twenty-four-hour protection. What does he think her three dogs and attack cat are for? Still, he insists on moving right in to Lucy's house. Now there's danger lurking outside and in her own kitchen, bathroom—and bedroom. Or maybe Zack is just what Lucy needs.… Summary: Jensen would consider his life pretty magical, buried in fantasy and cookie dough, and free of the ex that was really no good for him. Everything was on the right track, which was probably why he suddenly had a Detective in his shop, guns waving in his face, and a whole mess of trouble he didn’t sign up for. Bloody Hell. Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: That a Broken Bone in Your Pocket, Or You Just Happy to See Me? Author: dugindeep Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26.5K Warnings: language, sex Prompt: Here I Am: Born into a real-estate dynasty, Brandt Wainwright chose football over the family business, and now he's a Super Bowl MVP. That streak of good fortune runs out the day Brandt crashes his SUV into a tree. During the long recuperation, the fun-loving quarterback becomes cranky and sullen—until private nurse Ciara Dennison shows up for duty. Ciara has zero interest in sports, or in tall, blond jocks with overblown egos. She's dated a man in the public eye before, and she's not repeating that mistake. Somehow Brandt keeps breaking down all her defenses, seeing through her facade to the sexy free spirit underneath. But once his recovery is complete, will he return to the celebrity life he knew—or choose the woman who can fulfill his dreams? Summary: Jensen Ackles is a physical therapist who couldn't give less of a crap when he's assigned to help Chicago's hottest basketball player recover from a wrecked knee. As an NBA All Star, Jared Padalecki's crass and smug as all hell, but he's also persistent and committed to this thing they've got going on. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Love Burns Author: dante_s_hell Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26K Warnings: minor character death Prompt: Wild Fire. Battling a fire at a friend's house turns into a nightmare when firefighter Shelby Fox becomes the only witness to a murder. Unfortunately, a bad fall at the killer's hands leaves Shelby with traumatic amnesia and plunges her life into danger. Assigning himself as Shelby's personal protector is Detective Clay Jessup, her best friend and someone she always counted on. But as they work to find the murderer, a fierce desire begins to replace the simple friendship they once saw in each other's eyes.After all these years, could there finally be something more between them, or are they just flirting with danger? Summary: Jensen is a firefighter with a close knit group of friends. One night, he's called to fight a fire at a friend's house and he witnesses a murder. Only he doesn't remember. His best friend, Detective Jared Padalecki, decides Jensen needs his protection. Over the course of the investigation, Jared and Jensen realize their feelings for each other have changed. They are growing closer, but will a murderer intent on killing Jensen halt their burgeoning relationship in its tracks? Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: Some Things Stay the Same Author: peggy_lane Pairing: Jared/Jensen, background Misha/Sebastian Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 24K Warnings: none Prompt: Ramona and the Renegade Deputy Joe Lone Wolf never would've guessed that helping someone at the side of the road in a thunderstorm would throw his carefully controlled world into a tailspin. But that's exactly what happens when he realizes the sexy "stranger" is his childhood best friend, Ramona. He's spent years convincing himself that she deserves more than a former rebel with a scarred past. But all it takes is one stormy night in a deserted cabin with Ramona to make the fierce lawman change his mind. Falling for Joe is a risk veterinarian Ramona Santiago knows she shouldn't take. Everyone she's trusted has let her down and left her alone…except him. Can she possibly hope that she and Joe were always meant to be more than friends? Summary: It just feels like more bad luck when Jared's car breaks down in the middle of a thunderstorm. But when the Good Samaritan who brings him in from the rain turns out to be Jensen, his best friend from childhood, things start to look up. For Jensen, seeing Jared again after so many years could be the best chance he's had yet to get everything he's ever wanted. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: One Small Step Author: sandymg Artist: apieceofcake Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 38K Warnings: Jared/Jensen, Jensen/Tom, Jensen/OMC Prompt: For Business … Or Marriage: She'd always been in love with her boss. Secretly. And it had almost killed Abby Morrison each time magnificent multimillionaire Cade Stone began dating another woman. And now ... he wanted her to plan his wedding! Abby knew Cade was making a mistake -- marrying for business reasons a woman equally uninterested in love. For too long she'd been the mousy little secretary. But now she refused to keep quiet. So she had one month to plan Cade's wedding? That gave her one month to change his mind. Summary: Jared has had a secret crush for months. But it’s not like publishing genius and gay activist Jensen Ackles is going to notice the tall, weird guy pushing the mail cart. So when Jared’s best friend and Jensen’s assistant, Sandy, tells him that Jensen is getting married in one month to a fellow activist -- something about being the first gay couple to get married in the state -- Jared knows some things just aren't meant to be. And now Sandy is insisting that Jared help her plan the wedding. She thinks it’s a good idea. Jared thinks she’s nuts. Because the only thing this could lead to is heartbreak. Right? Link to fic: on Ao3 Link to art: on LiveJournal Title: Home Is Where the Hurt Is Author: tebtosca Artist: fiercelynormal Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 15K Warnings: Total schmoop Prompt: My Favorite Cowboy  Rugged, rough and rowdy, Jarred Riddell is everything a cowboy should be. That's the problem. 'Cause Jarred has set his sights on a pretty lil' socialite who has no use for his unrefined ways. Luckily, he has a plan: get the local librarian to whip him into charm-school shape and that city gal will fall right into his gentlemanly arms. But co-conspirator Serena Higgens has more on her mind than proper manners. She's pined for years after the sweet, hardworking rancher who lacks a bit of polish. To earn some much-needed cash, she'll put her feelings aside and give Jarred a crash course in respectability. Besides, throwing out mud-caked boots and correcting double negatives should help Serena get over her crush. It's the perfect situation…until Jarred adds kissing to the lesson plan! Summary: Librarian Jensen Ackles has been secretly in love with cattle rancher Jared Padalecki since high school, but Jared's been pining after the Big Oil socialite that got away. When said socialite returns to their small town newly single, Jared decides to finally woo her by having Jensen teach him how to be a proper gentleman. Jensen never could say no to those stupid dimples. Link to fic: on Ao3 Link to art: on LiveJournal Title: Deception Bay Author: zubeneschamali Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 15K Warnings: none listed Prompt: A Caribbean island...a honeymoon suite...sexy lingerie. Emily Wright has everything for the perfect honeymoon—except a husband! Although her nuptials are off, Emily takes her honeymoon, hoping for peace and quiet. Instead, chaos erupts when a stranger crashes into her suite and tackles her to the ground, protecting her from flying bullets. His chiseled physique sets off a wild desire in Emily.Delta Force Commando Tyler Matheson wasn't planning on a gorgeous civilian to come between him and the assailant he's chasing. Now he needs her help even though it means jeopardizing her life. Neither of them counts on the very real danger their sizzling chemistry provokes....Summary: While trying to enjoy his honeymoon-turned-solo-vacation, Jensen's party for one is literally crashed by a handsome, mysterious stranger who saves his life. Before he knows it, he's thrown into a world of danger…and passion like he's never dreamed. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: How a Writer Survives His Sister’s Wedding Author: matalinolukaret Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 18.5K Warnings: None Prompt: The Rogue Wedding GuestHannah couldn't wait to get back home for her sister's wedding. But it's hardly a holiday—to research a new TV show, her boss has decided to come with her! Hannah doesn't want the roguish Bradley Knight with her as her wedding date! How can she act professional with karaoke as the wedding entertainment? She's harbored a secret crush on Bradley since she started her job—so spending the weekend with him is a little too close for comfort. Especially when she finds out he's booked the penthouse suite for them both to share.Summary: Jared’s ready to go back home to celebrate his sister’s wedding. But that all changes when his crush/somewhat boss joins him on the trip to Texas. It’s going to be an interesting week, that���s for sure. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Making Opportunities Author: raeschae Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 21K Warnings: None listed Prompt: The Bikini Car Wash: After Andrea Wolkowicz abandons corporate life to help care for her sister, she quickly wears out the want ads in their rust-belt hometown. Time to be her own boss. Every mogul knows the best idea is an old idea with a new twist. So Andi proudly revives her father's business: an old-fashioned car wash…staffed entirely by bikini-clad women. That ought to get traffic—and blood—flowing on Grosvenor Street! This gutsy gimmick soon has the whole town in a lather, and not necessarily in a good way. Scandalized citizens are howling, neighboring businesses are worried. But straitlaced grocery-store owner Pete Guthrie is definitely intrigued. He knows it's hard to run a small business in a big-box world. To him, Andi's brains and bravery are as alluring as the bikini she calls business attire. Summary: LA event planner Jared doesn't take many trips back to his small, Midwestern hometown these days, but when his first crush, Jensen, is in need of his services, Jared can't resist the urge to drop everything and drive half way across the country. Now he has one week to raise thousands of dollars, save a youth center, and show Jensen exactly what he missed out on all those years ago. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Shadows of the Past Author: myficjournal and saklani2 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 26K Warnings: violence, some hurt!Jared, almost undoubtedly some mistakes in regards to police procedure Prompt: Rogue Stallion: "I don't want kindness—or your kind of woman."Sterling McCallum gave the plain, hard warning to Jessica Larson. The brooding rogue cop had a stone in place of a heart and a past as mysterious as the case that had brought them together. But this time Jessica couldn't back off. Something compelled her to stand her ground and brave the emotions this man had long aroused. Suddenly, their darkest secrets, their deepest desires, shimmered to the surface…about to explode.Summary: Detective Jensen Ackles was betrayed by his former partner and lover. Ever since, he has driven away all his partners and been alone. But new partner, Jared Padalecki, and the murder of a man tied to his past will force him to change everything. Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: I see great things in baseball Author: withdiamonds Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 8K Warnings: None Prompt: In Bed with the BossFor three years, Kalera has been a model secretary to Duncan Royal, with only one hiccup in their otherwise perfect relationship: a one-night stand that should never have happened, and which both have tried to forget. Or so Kalera thought.  But Duncan is haunted by their one night of unbelievable passion, and secretly longs for their relationship to develop after office hours. As a rule, he can have any woman he wants—so he's furious when Kalera announces her engagement to another man! Whatever it takes, Duncan intends to entice Kalera into his bed once more—and this time it will be forever.Summary: For the five years that Jared Padalecki has owned the Albuquerque Isotopes, Jensen Ackles has been his perfect assistant. Two years ago, they had a one-night stand. It was awesome, but they decided business and pleasure really didn't mix and agreed to forget it ever happened. Jared has no clue that he harbors real feelings for Jensen. He merely thinks that he thinks Jensen is hot, but when Jensen announces his intention to marry another man, Jared realizes he's actually in love with Jensen. Now he has to figure out how to convince Jensen that he feels the same. Link to fic: on Ao3 Title: The Long Way Home Author: jesseofthenorth Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R (language) PG-13 (Action) Word Count: 11k Warnings: none Prompt: Texas is a long way from Oregon, but Amanda Allen isn't planning to make her stay in Brody's Crossing permanent. All she wants is to meet the brothers she only recently discovered she had and head back out—mission accomplished. But what to do about Leo Casale? The tempting Texan is doing his level best to make her feel right at home. Leo is completely captivated by the stranger with secret! written all over her. He wants to help her, but Amanda refuses to confide in him. Does she have to be so stubborn and independent? Things are happening way too fast. Suddenly, Amanda has a whole new family to get to know, including a certain irresistible charmer who's making her believe that she belongs here too! Summary: That, mostly. Except more gay. And told from Jared's point of view. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: It's so easy loving you Author: the_milky_way Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 15K Warnings: None Prompt: Her Best Friend's WeddingWhen did Sadie Beecham get those curves? She'd always been the geek next door, his baby sister Meg's brainy best friend. Smart, sure. But hot? He never would have imagined it…before. Now, Trey Kincaid's imagining all sorts of things. And none of them has to do with Sadie's gifted mind. A mind, he discovers, she's clearly lost. Because she thinks she's in love with Meg's fiancé. And that's an obsession he's determined to put an end to—one way or the other.Summary: Jensen looks up then and stares. Open mouthed and all that. He must look quite idiotic, sitting on the stairs with a kitten hanging from his little finger, mouth open and eyes wide. Because, holy hell, is that really Jared Padalecki standing there? Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: The Tampa Connection Author: tcs1121 Pairing: Jared/Jensen, past Jared/JDM Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 17K Warnings: Harlequin Romance. (Please read in the spirit it was written.) GuySex. Some Hurt/Comfort eventually. Prompt: Summary: On paper, Jared Padalecki Morgan had a lifestyle most people would envy. Only he knows what a sham his marriage really was. So when his politician husband is killed in a hit and run accident, he moves to Florida and takes a job as a personal assistant to Jensen Ackles, a powerful CEO with an intimidating reputation. Jared's intelligence and social grace prove invaluable to Jensen, and on a business trip to South Carolina's lush Low Country, their business relationship takes a sensual detour. But when threatening letters arrive at Jensen's office, Jared realizes that his husband's death was no accident—and that he will meet a similar fate unless they can uncover the scandalous truth together... Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: Let the sun rain down on me Author: trinipedia Artist: theblackrose16 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: R Word Count: 15K Warnings: language Prompt: The Angel and the OutlawHe wants her as his bride, but the law wants him! No one asks the dark, brooding stranger about his past. People gossip, but daren't question. He and his young daughter live alone--and that's the way Stuart Taylor wants...needs it to stay. When the spirited new schoolteacher, Rachel Houston, is touched by Stuart's shy little girl, who's never uttered a word, everything starts to change. Stuart's surly manner doesn't worry Rachel--she can see the vulnerability hidden in the depths of his blue eyes. She's convinced there's more to the rugged, handsome stranger's story. But when the truth comes out, has Rachel the courage to stand by her man?Summary: Jensen Ackles is a moody petty-thief who marries his parole officer's nephew, believing that he can use the honeymoon to escape to Canada. Jared Padalecki is the sweetest guy you can ever hope to meet. He truly believes that Niagara Falls will change Jensen for the better and won't let anything stop the honeymoon...not even his own death. The story of a marriage that truly is forever, based on the movie "Camille".Link to fic: on Ao3 (art embedded in fic) Title: Quite So, Sir and Other Code Words Author: forelyse Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: PG-13 Word Count: 9K Warnings: None Prompt: What's a Housekeeper to Do?Being housekeeper to crime writer Cameron Travers should be a pretty simple, safe job—just what Lally Douglas wants. Once burned, forever shy Lally wants to blend into the background. Cameron Travers is attractive, intelligent, fun and very charming! Soon Lally wants to wear all colors of the rainbow and embrace life. Most of all she wants Cameron to notice her, in that way.Summary: Being housekeeper to novelist Jensen Ackles should be a simple, safe job—just what Jared needs. Once burned, Jared wants to lead a pleasant but otherwise generic life. Jensen is attractive, intelligent, thoughtful and very charming! Soon Jared wants to wear all colors of the rainbow just to get Jensen to notice him, especially in that way. Link to fic: on LiveJournal Title: ho'ololi (transform) Author: topaz119 Pairing: Jared/Jensen Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 8K Warnings: None Prompt: #31 Pleasure in HawaiiGene Malloy is finally ready to get on with his life. And he just may have found the perfect woman to share it with him. From the moment Gene rescues Sloane Hepburn from a rogue wave on the beach, she makes his most passionate fantasies come true. With her sultry beauty and lively spirit, Sloane is turning the divorced Maui B and B owner's life upside down—and he's loving every minute of it….Relocating to Hawaii is a big step for the overextended career woman. But with hunky, seductive Gene Malloy romancing her under a tropical island sky, how can a woman keep from falling? Now he just has to make her see that their love is here to stay. And that the pleasure is just beginning…Summary: They were good together, in bed and out, but Jensen didn’t know if that was only because they really weren’t together all that often. Link to fic: on Ao3 Supernatural Title: Cover Art Artist: gold_bluepoint Pairing: Sam/Dean Rating: PG-13 Word Count: N/A Warnings: None Prompt: "Responding to a 911 call, Whitehorse Deputy Halley Robinson is stunned to find herself face-to-face with her teenage crush, Colton Chisholm. The schoolboy who had teased her is now a strong and sexy man—and he's on a mission to solve a case! But if he plans on unmasking a killer, he's going to need her help. Colton can no longer run from the truth…someone in his small town has gotten away with murder. Now it's up to him to bring the killer to justice—with the help of local authorities, which, to his surprise, include Halley. The girl who had once idolized him is now a woman he must fight to resist. But as they work on the case, the attraction between them only grows stronger. Their rocky past may lead to a future together…unless the killer parts them forever." Summary: Interning at a local police department while at Stanford, Sam is stunned to find himself face-to-face with his older brother, Dean. The overbearing sibling who had teased Sam is now a strong and sexy man - and he's on a mission to solve a case! But if Dean plans on hunting the killer, he's going to need Sam's help. Dean Winchester can no longer run from the truth... a violent creature is taking victims in the San Fransisco Bay Area. Now it's up to him to find the killer - with the unwitting help of local authorities, which, to his surprise, include Sam. The boy who had once idolized him is now a young man he must fight to resist. But as they work on the case, the attraction between them only grows stronger. Their rocky past may lead to a future together... unless the killer parts them forever. Link to art: on LiveJournal (art is no longer visible)

[thefanficmistress]

Because, I Love You: Requested ☆

Requested by @deepestfirefun - I love you soooooo damn much. My soul sister across the pond.  Requested: You have broken up with your fiancé because you found out he was a total womanizer and it was quite the nasty break up too. You left your apartment, only took what you needed without looking back. Richard, your good friend heard about it while he was filming the Ocean´s 8 and without a second thought took you under his wings. You were an utter mess emotionally but spending time with Richard started to heal your wounded heart although you didn´t feel like trusting men ever again, except for Richard. He was furious to your ex-fiancé when he learned what had happened, he had been always very caring and protective of you. And while Richard did everything to make you feel better, you started to wonder if it had been Richard all along who you should have started a relationship with.

Warnings: Fluff, Swearing, Smut Pairing: Richard Armitage x Reader, Richard Armitage x Female Character, Richard Armitage x OC Context © me _______________ TAG LIST: @deepestfirefun​ @shikin83​ @catthefearless​ @patanghill17​ @aelinninielelain​ @xxbyimm​ @nowiloveandwilllove​ @nellindreams​ @hails270105​ @armitages-gisborne​ @jassy2101​ @abiwim​ @anemiechen​ @nelswp​ @vaneaustation @fizzyxcustard @purplerain85 @armitageadoration @princecami @princess-of-erebor1992 @leah-halliwell92 @vaneaustin @nelswp @nellindreams @raindrops-on-roses142  Please let me know if you would like to be tagged. 

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Current Requests: JANUARY - Closed @purplerain85 ( A Kiss in the Wild ) - RA Request : Release 1/6/2019 @deepestfirefun ( Because I love you ) - RA Request - Release date : 1/13/2019 @nowiloveandwilllove ( My Friend, My Beloved ) - RA Request - Release date: 1/20/2019 @deepestfirefun  ( WORKING TITLE ) RA Request - Release Date :1/27/2019

Current Requests: FEBRUARY - OPEN

2/3/2019  - @purplerain85 (  WORKING TITLE ) - RA Request 2/10/2019 - @deepestfirefun  ( WORKING TITLE ) - RA Request 2/17/2019 - Open 2/24/2019 - Open

Message me if you would like a FanFic Sunday Request. ________________ “What did you just say?” You questioned, almost dropping your phone in your lap. “Move in with me. At least until you get back on your feet.” He proposed. “I can’t ask you to do that. Not for me!” You exclaimed. “Yes you can! I’m offering. Happily, might I add.” Richard cooed on the other side of the phone, with a hint of a smile in his tone.  Sitting in your car, with your hand on the steering wheel, you thumbed your thumb against the leather coating. You thought about his offer. He lived only a few minutes from your office, near central park, and the best thing was, he would be there. He was currently out of town but assured you that he would be back in a few days to continue filming Ocean’s 8 and he would make sure to take you out to get your mind off of things. After a break up, it’s best to be around family and friends. Richard was definitely a great friend to be around. He’s kind, and generous, a bit of goofball, but he always found a way to make things up to you or put a smile on your face.  “I haven’t seen you in months, and I hate to tell you this, but I’m not taking no for an answer.” He added. “Richard, I honestly can’t do this. I need to be by myself.” “I’m not going to let that happen. I’m rather vexed at the entire matter, and if he shows up, I will have him thrown out or arrested.” His voice went very deep. A side of him you hadn’t heard before. Was that protection and anger in his voice? He wasn’t lying. Since you started dating Ethan, Richard and you had a hard time seeing each other. He was always out of town or too busy to actually spend proper time; he did however meet you for those 1-2 hr lunches before leaving or sent presents to you loft to apologize for not being able to make it. Also, to make matters worse, despite the fact that Richard was always so kind, and polite to your fiancée, Ethan didn’t like Richard. It showed in how possessive he was, not allowing Richard to be alone with you, be next to you, or even on the phone with you for a long period of time. Maybe Ethan could sense that under your guise as a friend, you did have feelings for Richard. You at one point convinced yourself that you were in love with him, and you needed to tell him. But with his schedule, you saw how difficult it was, and then realized it’s you. Richard wouldn’t be into you when he had many women around him. You had to back off in order to try to make the new relationship work. So, you put a lid on your feelings and said nothing. You were friends. Just friends. Ethan on the other hand… “Where are you right now?” He asked. “Siting in my car outside of The Hyatt.” You replied looking around at your surroundings. The Hyatt was a stunningly. Beautiful hotel in New York, and you were outside at the valet parking deciding on if you should go in or not. The streets were still busy for 3am, but it was The Big Apple, and this place never sleeps. It had rained earlier, and the streets glistened with the glow and flickering of the traffic lights. Restaurants and bars still open along the strip, and people gathered hand in hand walking and laughing. You wish you could laugh, but Ethan stole that from you months ago, and now you sit here alone, in your car in your flat shoes, and night gown. You had to pack a bag with enough clothes to last you a few days. Ethan was leaving for Hong Kong for work, and that would be the best time to get your belongings, and never see him again.  “Please don’t sleep there, just go to my penthouse, we will figure out the rest.” He insisted. You knew that doing this, moving in with Richard, no matter how long you would be there, would piss Ethan off. And you honestly wanted to hurt him. Maybe not the same way he hurt you, but still hurt him nonetheless. “Are you sure about this?” “Very.” “Okay!” You conceded, “Thank you.” “Anything for you dove.” “Anything?” You sang sweetly, with hit of a smile on your face. “Absolutely anything.” He gushed over the phone.  You pulled at a piece of thread on your nightgown, and blushed hard. Even from thousands of miles away, he knew how to make you swoon with just his voice and words. If he was in front of you and said that, it would have taken the force of an army to hold you back from kissing him. The way those words came out of his mouth stirred something inside of you that hadn’t been touched in months, but you could focus on that right now. You needed to get out of this car.  “Head on over, I’ll call ahead, and make sure everything is taken care of.” “Thank you again, Richard.” “No need to thank me. I need you safe, and sound in our flat. I’ll see you in a few days, yeh?” He stated. “Yea ok. You said your goodbyes and headed over to his flat. After pulling into the Richards visitor spot under his flat building, you gather your things, and end upstairs to the 21st floor. Once you exit the elevator you are thrown off by the very large gift basket sitting in front of the door. You put your bag down and kneel to read the note left on top.  *** To: The most beautiful woman in the world. From: The luckiest man in the world to have you in his life <3 Get some rest and enjoy the basket. You deserve it, and if I have to, I will send you more to keep a smile on your face until I get there. Yours always, Richard *** You smiled so hard, and pulled the note to your chest for a moment, as if you wanted to absorb the words into your very heart. You see another little baggy with the keycode to get into his flat, and you make your way in taking the bag and basket inside. 

You flick on the light upon entering the foyer, a grand entertaining gallery opens into a living room and formal dining room with raised ceilings, accentuated by a dramatic glass skylight. You decided to look around the penthouse to get used to the surroundings. The room has been decorated to the highest standards with custom doors, wood-work cabinetry, and beveled glass to enhance the breathtaking views. A custom-carved stairway, wood-paneled elevator, beautifully-appointed powder room, and spacious closets are located just off the gallery. Adjacent to the formal dining room and located along Central Park is a tastefully designed eat-in kitchen with top-of-the-line appliances.

The 21st floor featured a luxurious master suite with a fireplace, terrace, and large sitting room. A magnificent master bathroom with bookmarked slabs of marble, two showers, two private water closets and two separate vanity sinks complete this space. The suite also included multiple fitted closets and a whimsical loggia with a wet bar along the terrace. Two additional south-facing bedrooms, two redesigned en-suite baths, an elegant study with terrace access and an automated Crestron system for lighting, shades and music. The 21st floor included a service entrance which you came in through seeing that Richard had the key to the main entrance elevator.  “No wonder he doesn’t go out. He has everything he needs here.” You said to yourself, as you made your way back to the door to gather your things. You walked into the master bedroom and placed the basket on the bed. You finally opened the clear wrapping and started to pull out each item. Bath bombs, candles, wine, scented lotions, and oils. There was a silken pink night gown, with matching sleeping mask. Then a box of assorted chocolates, and your favorite box of perfume.  A little while later, after a hot shower, and two glasses of wine, you climb into Richards bed, and cover yourself with the thick black blanket. Your phone buzzed, and you picked it up to see that Richard sent you a photo and text. he sent you a gif of his face smiling, and blowing you a kiss, then saying goodnight. You send him a text back saying goodnight and thanking him again before you placed it back on the nightstand. As you fell asleep your mind thought of pleasant things. Such as now being able to start your life over without Ethan. Perhaps with someone great. Someone like Richard.  “Why am I not with you?” Was the last words that slipped from your lips before passing out. _____ See, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. You were supposed to find a guy, fall in love, get married, have children and live out your lives together. Old, holding hands and maybe, just maybe dying together in your sleep. But your life didn’t work out so luck that way. Time after time you had to fight for what you wanted, and when you thought you had it, life kicked you down again. Here you sat on the cold tile floor in the bathroom, in the dark holding your fiancés phone.  The painful reality that he wasn’t who you thought. Your jaw clinched, the burning in your eyes began, and you turned the phone on. You had to know. You read every single one of the texts that he sent them. Every detail about what he wanted to do to them, and what he wanted them to do to him. How he couldn’t stop thinking of them, and how they were the only thing he ever wanted. He even said I love you to a few of them. They begged for him to dump you, and he said that he would, but he was waiting for the right time. He couldn’t even bother changing up his texts, they were the same lines, repeatedly. The same dick pics and fantasy. The only thing that seemed to change was the location to meet them for dinner, or the hotel room he would rent out for the day for his “Client Meetings”   You turned the phone off and gripped your chest, right at your heart. You dug your nails into your skin until it hurt, but it would never compare to the pain you felt that spread through your body like a raging fire. It scorched every nerve in your body, and you began to shake. Your eyes burned and when you could hold on no longer you let out a scream that could have cracked glass, and you threw his phone against the wall. It shattered.  Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. You bent forward, pressed your palms to the floor, you began to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours.

You heard footsteps running up to the door.

“(y/n) are you ok? What was that noise?” A male voice said on the other side. “Just go away” you said, the words slipping from your lips so softly that only you could have heard it, but you secretly wish he did. You continued to cry, your fingers digging into the black cloth of the bathmat. You felt sick to your stomach. The ache in your heart was too much to bare. “(y/n) answer me!! What is going on? I am beginning to worry!” The voice said again, wiggling the door knob a few times. “Go the fuck away!” You managed to raise your head up and yelled. “Just leave, get out! I don’t want you here anymore!” You turned your body to the toilet now, lifting the lid, and prepared yourself for what was about to come up. “(y/n) What?! What are you talking about? “He yelled back, banging on the door.  “Open up! What happened?” he pressed again, his voice very concerned and urgently searching for a reason why you would react this way. “I hate you.” You said softly into the toilet. You shook your head because you knew you had to throw up, and the rage that was building in your gut was making its way to your chest. The kind of rage that was instant and all you needed was the final push. The door knob started to shake violently, and then the door started to bang as if something was being pushed against it. With a loud BANG the door was forcefully opened, and Ethan came stumbling in, the wall across from the door catching him. He looked around the bathroom and saw his phone on the ground, and then looked up at you. “What is going on? It’s 4 o’clock in the morning, and you’re screaming.” He said as he bent down and picked up his phone examining the broken pieces. “I had work and clients on here, and you break it?” “Right! Work and clients “You quoted with your fingers. “I am sure your clients needed a picture of your fucking dick for their legal troubles. I guess you’re a full-service kind of lawyer. “you proclaimed, as you rose to your feet. You took a few steps closer to him. His face went completely white and he swallowed hard. His eyes shifted over to the right of you unable to look in your eyes and there it was. The shame or was it guilt. Either way he knew that this was it for him. “(Y/N)” He started, but you cut him off. “Who is Emily?” You shoved him back “Rhonda?” You shoved him again. “Dianna?” You asked pushing him one last time, this time harder and he was backed into the corner and could see his jaw tighten. “Oh, and my favorite, your fucking secretary Bridgette.” You smiled and shook your head. “I knew it. I knew it.” You stressed, your voice starting to shake with the buildup of anger, and more tears. “They mean nothing to me. Not like you. “Ethan said calmly to you. His eye contact making his words seem sincere. Was he telling the truth?  Maybe, but it was too late. That trust had already been destroyed. “You’re a fucking liar.”  You walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom you shared. You walked to the other side of the room to get away from him. It was too much. You always had a feeling that something was right about him, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. You grabbed your bag from the closet, and started throwing clothes in them, cussing and yelling as you stuffed many items in it. You weren’t even sure what it all was, but the more that you put in that bag was the more you were close to getting out of there. Ethan tried to grab you to talk things out. Grabbing your arm, you pulled it away, he grabbed both of your wrists to calm you and to pull you into his chest, but you pushed him away repeatedly You took a shirt and hit him with it and he held his hands up grabbing the fabric in the air, twisting it around his hand and yanked you close to him. “Please calm down, we can talk about this.” He held you firmly to him, looking at you dead in your eyes, not even blinking. Was he terrified of losing you? Was he scared of what his life would be like without you? You fought more against his grip. “Would you stop! He yelled, “and fucking listen to me! They mean nothing to me! I want to marry you and be with you!” You looked closer into his eyes and saw that they were glazing over. Was he about to cry? Was he actually upset that he hurt you? For a brief moment, you settled down, and lowered your guard for a moment.

“I love you.” He said, releasing the grip on your wrist since he must have felt your nerves calm. “There is nothing to freak out about. My heart belongs to only you.” He said, leaning in closer to your face. “I want to kiss only you…” Ba-dum

The sound of your heart echoed in your ears as he spoke those words… “ I want to marry only you..”

Ba -dum But it wasn’t the words you wanted to hear. It was the wrong words. “I am going to marry you (Y/N).” he whispered right before his lips touched yours. Those were the wrong words…. “The hell you are!” You yelled as you pushed him back, but he still held one of your wrists.  “What makes you think that I would even marry you?” You questioned as you finally yanked yourself free from his grasp. You turn and walk to the other side of the bed, snatching up your phone. Your fingers unlocked it and you started to search through it. You started muttering to yourself. “Great! I guess you’re going to call him now. Complain about me?” He gestured with his arms, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. “Call who?” You questioned, going through your contacts. Richards name slowly scrolled down, and your thumb landed on his name, but Ethan had caught your attention and you looked up from the phone. “Who do you think? Richard for fuck sake. You can’t seem to just let him the fuck go can you!” Ethan said, yanking up a shirt from the side chair, and putting it on, followed by a pair of mint green pants. You always hated those pants. “He has nothing to do with this. You did this! “You proclaimed. Snatching up your keys and walking over to the night stand to grab a few more things, shoving them into the bag. “Whatever you need to tell yourself (y/n) You’re probably acting like this because you slept with him, and now you are turning a tiny indiscretion of mine into this mountain of guilt.” He gestured with is hands and body movement. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Are you trying to turn this around on me? You gestured pointing to yourself.

“I’m just stating the facts. You couldn’t have him, so you had to get me. You were too weak to tell him how you felt, and he didn’t care enough about you to notice you. Why would he want you? He’s famous now and can have any woman he wants and you —“ SMASH! The vase you threw at his head shattered near him. He guarded his face and moved aside and looked at you. “WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Have you lost your mind?” He yelled as he moved around the broken pieces by his feet to a clearer spot. Then you looked down to continue to pack, grabbing everything that could fit into this large duffle bag. After stuffing what you could in it, you make your way to the door. “I had to settle for a piece of shit like you.” You added onto his statement, your voice was so calm, still, but the tears filled your eyes and burned as you looked at him without blinking. “I had to lower my standards to a pathetic man child who had to feed on someone else’s insecurities to make himself feel better.” “(Y/n) wait, I didn’t mean…” he said starting to walk towards you but when he saw that you straightened your back and took a more dominate stance, he paused. “You meant every word. And I shouldn’t have said yes to marrying you when in my heart I really didn’t want to. But my family, and your family pressured me. Especially when…” You paused for a moment and looked around the room and then back at him. “When I knew I would never love you the way I love him.” Those words flew from your mouth so fast. You never thought that you would think it, let alone say it out loud. You knew instantly from the look in his eyes that they’d hit their mark. In that instant your relationship shattered into glassy shards. Nothing would ever be the same again. “We’re over!” You completed as you walked out of the door. ______ The next day you remained in the protection of your dear friend penthouse. You closed the blinds, and the curtains. You brewed some coffee, with cream, and added some caramel into the mixture as you lazily walked back to his room. You hadn’t slept so well after dreaming about the fight you had with Ethan. It was so fresh in your heart and mind. You placed the mug on the night stand and crawled back into bed. Tucking yourself into the big red and white pillows and pulled the black duck down comforter over yourself. You leaned back against the pillowed backboard, reached for the remote, twitched on the TV and flipped through the channels until you landed on the TV show FRIENDS. Tossing the remote beside you, you tried to focus on the screen before you, but your phone went off again. You struggled with the decision to pick it up. Looking from the TV back to the phone, and then back to the TV again. Then back at the phone when it went off. You reached over and picked it up. You fingered through the unlock and brought up your phone log. 14 MISSED CALLS – Ethan Hawthorne Then you saw the notifications on your iMessages. You opened it. _______________________________ ETHAN {Please pick up the phone….. } ETHAN {We need to talk!!!} ETHAN {I’m not giving up on us! I don’t care how many times I have to call you or text you! } ETHAN {Why are you acting like this? Can we just please talk?! } ________________________________ You took a deep breath and hovered your finger over delete. For a moment you thought how freeing it would be to clear these, and never reply to him, but then again, what if you did reply. What if you told him to never call or message you again? Is saying nothing, really louder than saying anything at all? Without a second thought you deleted it. You closed your eyes, and put the phone on the nightstand, but before you could fully come to terms with what you just did, you heard a knock on the door. You were expecting anyone, but when you walked to the door, you looked through the hole, and saw a bouquet of flowers. You pulled back and took a step back from the door. Maybe you shouldn’t open it, maybe you should. Ethan was smart, sending you flowers so early. You bit your bottom lip, and then another knock came to the door.  “Who is it?” You shouted. “I have a delivery for a Miss (Y/N).” the man said. “Can you leave it by the door?” You asked, walking closer to the door, and placed your hands on the wood. “I was instructed to hand it directly to her. You know….my job.” He replied. “Ok.” You sigh and open the door. As you open it, the bouquet was in full bloom in front of you. Bright red roses petals, with lush green stems. It was so large it covered the delivery guys face.  “Do I need to sign for it or something?” you ask waiting with your arms crossed in front of you. “Not really, but if you would like to pay in the form of a hug. I wouldn’t object.” He said, as his American accent changed over to the floating melody of a British purr, and as the flowers came down, it revealed the most beautiful man you had ever seen. Richard stood before you with a big smile on his face. His eyes were sparkling, and his cheeks were flushed. He was so excited to see you. You weren’t sure what came over you when you lunged forward and flung your arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace. He chuckled and leaned down to hug you back. He squeezed you and buried he face in your hair. You heard him take a deep breath, and you could have sworn you felt the thumping of his heart against your chest. It was racing. Or was it yours? At the moment you couldn’t tell, all you knew it he was here with you. You pulled back, but held onto his shirt, while he in return placed his hand on your cheek. You leaned into the warmth of his hand smiling. Your faith in men had left you, but you knew that Richard would heal it. Someone how. Starting by showing up earlier than he said, and now pulling this stun, in his own penthouse.  “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you are here.” You stated excitedly. “But where are my manners, please come in.” you walked back over the threshold, and moved a side so that he could come in.  “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you, and in my penthouse no less.” He chimed back. Richard walked into the kitchen and placed the vase of roses on the counter top. He turned to look at you and removed his black coat and tossed it on the back of the counter. He looked around the room and shook his head. “What?” “Why is it so dark in here?” “I didn’t want any daylight in here.” “Why? A little daylight would be good for you (Y/N).” he stated as he walked across the room and to the window, he tossed the curtains opened, and the living room was flooded with golden light. He could have pushed the button that does it for him, but he was always the kind of guy to do things himself. You blocked your eyes for a moment, and then put your hands down to see Richard standing before the window with a halo of light around his head. The light caught in his beard, and he turned to look at you with glowing blue eyes. He wore a plaid shirt and dark blue jeans. A trimmed beard, and his hair combed over to one side. He looked good. Gorgeous. “Is that why you’re here? To open my blinds? You turn to Richard and hold up a cup. “Want some?” He walked over to the counter and sat down on the stool. He leaned forward and closed his hands together. 

“Are you going to tell me what happened, or am I going to have to guess?” he sounded irritated, so his voice became a bit deeper. “Richard….” you sighed as you put the first mug into place on the Keurig, you put the K-Cup in the machine, and pulled the lever down, and hit BREW. You turned, and leaned back on the counter, with your hands on both sides of you along the counter top. “Don’t make me.” “What do you want me to say? He cheated. Cheated, a lot, and I was the dumb one who fell for his shit.” You said. The buzzer went off and you turned to remove the first cup, put another in its place, and a new K-Cup, and hit BREW again. You gently placed the cup in front of Richard, and reached over to hand him sugar, and creamer. “You’re not dumb, don’t say that. He cheated, yes, but that isn’t your fault.” Richard said has he put both hands on the sides of the cup. “Not my fault!?” You chuckle just saying those words. But you always thought that it was. Maybe it was in a way. You never really fully expressed yourself or showed that you were completely into the planning of your wedding, or him even. You were just there, going through the motions, while he was there, with other women. To be honest, he wasn’t the one you wanted. You lowered your head and started to cry. You heard the stool shift across the floor and in an instant Richards hands were on you, turning you. He crouched a bit to look at you, and tilted your head up to look at him, and when you did, he straightened himself. “Open your eyes.” he said softly. His hands cupped both sides of your face, his thumbs wiping away the tears from your face. “Look at me (Y/N).” he kindly stressed.  So you did, and he was looking at you with such hope, and longing that it killed you. How can he be so calm at a time like this. How had you been so clam the past night? “I can’t do this anymore.” You weeped.  “Do what?” “Love anyone again. How an I supposed to trust someone after this?” You asked, gripping his shirt.  “It’s not going to be easy dove, but I’m here to show you that you can.”  You looked up at him, and then to his lips. You always wondered what it would be like to kiss him. You lean in close to him, and place your forehead to his chin. He lowers his head to place a kiss on it.    You didn’t want to bottle up your emotions. Sadness, obsessing, and full-blown crying fits was your way to deal with emotional upheaval, and pretending you were fine when you were not will have the same effect as a pressure cooker. So, you called out of work for the next few days, to let all your pent-up feelings loose, whether it was on your own with Celine Dion on full blast, with a box of tissues or with your best friend after two bottles of wine. And your best friend was here now, so here came the tears, and wine.

Sometime later, Richard gently rouses you from a deep slumber after you pasted out in his bed. Richard had to pick you up from the couch after the first bottle of wine. You drank the majority and like a gentlemen he let you. He tucked you in, and he settled in next to you, arm around you, and he just let you cry and cry. You complained about everything under the sun when it came to Ethan. The stupid pants he wore, to his cologne, how he said certain words, and how horrible he treated Richard.  He sat at the edge of the bed, gently stroking your hair, and shaking you awake. As you woke, it felt as though your spirit returned to your body, and you felt heavy again, but warm under the blankets. You opened your eyes to see Richard sitting there, smiling down at you. “Good morning.” He said softly, as to not shock you with his presence. “Richard?” You said, as you slowly moved the blanket from your face rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “Yes, It’s me, you’re not dreaming.” He joked, rubbing your arm. “You’re here!” you cooed sleepily. “Yes, I live here. Did you drink so much you forgot?”  “I know that.” Richard smiled and looked at you for a moment. His hand moved from your arm, to move a few strands of hair from your face. His index finger grazed your cheek, and you smiled. He tilted his head a bit and studied your face. “I jumped on the first flight I could.” You moved the blanket down, and stretched your arms wide, awaiting a hug you desperately needed. He smiled and leaned in to hug you. His arms slipped under you, and he pulled you into his arms. Practically pulling you up from the bed. You buried your face in his neck, and he squeezed you in return. You relaxed in his arms, and didn’t plan on letting him go, but you wanted to reveal in his warmth and scent. You take in a deep breath and then release it slowly. “I’m just happy you’re here.” “Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” He asked, as one of his hands stroked your back. “Because of your job.” “(Y/N)? Do you really think that would keep me away from you?” he asks, as he releases you and cups your face. “You know what I mean.” You say sweetly, placing your hands on his own. “Your friends break up doesn’t fall on the important spectrum when it comes to your career.” He chuckles and lets go of your face and stands up. “It’s not my career that makes all the decisions, but my heart. Time with you is all I always want, like air to a dying man.” He says, as he heads towards the bedroom door. “Which is to say that nothing would keep me from you. As selfish as that may sound.” “Richard…” you started, but he interrupts. “Now out of bed. You need to eat.” He walks out of the door. “I kind of like it here! Your bed is amazing!” You shout after him. “Then I guess I’ll bring your breakfast to you! He shouts back. You laugh to yourself and fall back into the large pillows. Your arms stretched out at your sides. The sound of breakfast for dinner sounded exciting to you. You remembered Richard’s cooking it for you whenever you both would get drunk, it was always delicious, and he always ate with you. You closed your eyes and several minutes later, you could smell the aroma coming from the kitchen. An hour later, Richard brought you the works. Freshly squeezed juice, toast with grape jam, eggs, bacon, and a bowl of grapes and honey dew. He placed it on his bed, with a giant tray, and there was enough for two people. You turned the TV on just for background noise while you both spoke, He told you the story about how after he got your call, he called his assistant and requested the next flight out of Los Angeles to New York that there was. He called ahead to the front desk and requested that you be let in, but it would have to be the servant’s entrance as he had locked the elevator to his floor. He called his other assistant in New York to find the best relaxation basket he could, and to make sure there was a sweet message from him for you. He wanted you to know that he would take care of you. When it was time for him to leave, he didn’t even pack any clothes. He grabbed his keys, phone, and wallet, and left. He didn’t have time to think, his instincts told him that you needed him, and you needed him now. On the plane he was anxious to see you, and he couldn’t wait to get out of the airport, and into the taxi to get home to you. “You didn’t have to do all of that. Did you even get any sleep?” You asked as you held the toast in your hand, looked at him.  He looked at you and reached over to wipe a piece of jam from your lips. “No. I’d been up for about 24 hrs, I believe? There was no time to think about myself. I was worried about you.” He said as he went back to eating. You sat there staring at him and you lowered the toast to your lap. Your eyes started to burn and glaze over. “Why would you do that for me? Why do anything of it?” Your voice started to shake, and you honestly tried to hold back the tears. You hated crying in front of him, and you didn’t want him to think you were a cry baby, but damn it. He was always so sweet and kind to you. Why couldn’t you be with someone like him? Why couldn’t you have been the one in this bed for years, waiting for him to come home to you. You knew that you loved him, but just the thought of him flying across country, not sleeping until you were taken care of, and happy before taking care of himself hit you hard. Richard put his food down, cleaned his mouth, and swallowed the remaining food. He looks down for a moment nodding slightly to himself, as if he was talking to himself. Like the moment you get when you are building yourself up to finally say something.  “Do you really have to ask?” He said, still looking down at nothing in particular.  “After all this.” He looks at you. “I did it because….I love you, (Y/N).” You new that it would take time, but with those words you felt the break in your heart start to heal.  END.