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eddis-not-eeddis · 1 month ago

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i made it through the two toughest weeks of this year so far

praise the LORD

#it wouldn't have been so hard if i had been spiritually fed #but i avoided reading the bible and fell into all sorts of bad habits because of it #and skipped out on bible study #and boy oh boy does it make a difference #and yeah #all the work and study sucked #and some of the weird family stuff happening didn't help #but it would have been easier if i had been smart and done what I SHOULD HAVE DONE RIGHT FROM THE VERY START #and been praying and reading the bible #don't mind me #i'm just over here learning the SAME lesson over AGAIN for about the six millionth time

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cubbihue · 2 months ago

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Since Peri has problems with flight does irep also have them or is he fine

Irep's a talented flyer actually! While Peri's wings feels heavy for him to use, Irep's are light as a feather. He's an expert at navigating the air, and can outdo even a Pixie in flight!!

This has made him all sorts of popular and unpopular among jock-like fairies.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

#fairly oddparents #fop #fop a new wish #fop irep #irep #asks #itty bitties fop au #it certainly helps that irep studied aerodynamics when building all his lil machineries and weapons as a baby #he's really good at controlling his wing span and movement to increase drag and speed!#this anti fairy can fly backwards even!! that's one of the most difficult moves a pixie can do!!#irep was both popular and unpopular during p.e in school #everybody wants him on their team for Snip the Tail #but he's. the WORST teammate to have. that man hogs glory AND will sacrifice his own mates to win #so he's usually either omitted entirely or has to be nerf'd #honestly sports is one of the very few things irep can excel at #as its also the 1 thing peri sucks absolute ass at haha #although somehow irep's never able to maintain popularity over it. everyone always gushes at peri when he manages 1 score in #but never when irep carries his team #haha funny how that works

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ohno-the-sun · 10 months ago

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Sol

#I’m just gonna put these here so I can rant about all the issues I see in the #so like I as an idiot was like let’s see if I can do a style study on qwille using my favorite boy right #but qwille a brain works in mysterious ways cause like I’m trying to hard to firgure out how they know where to put stuff #and of course the rendering is like that in between fully rendered and that more soft vague #which is gorge #but my brain when I do it is like you need to fix you need to fix this looks bad you suck blahblah #not to even mention the anatomy #which is completely fucked here #I can’t do shoulders to save my life #and he looks so dumb sitting on that box #like what’s wrong with his shoe #I know something’s wrong #I think I need to take a moment #I’m caught in one of those logic loops rn #blahhhhhh

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spaghett-onaplate · 6 months ago

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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xpastelsweetsx · 11 months ago

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Okay for me the most emotional thing about FHJY is that I’m a high school Junior rn and the MINUTE I finished Sophomore year everything EVERYTHING went so entirely downhill- and its really kept doing that tbh- its been a long, stressful, emotionally difficult year and I’m only halfway through, with FHJY starting when I return from winter break and ending about a week before I finish Jr year so in full honesty I’m really excited and terrified for these characters I love so much. i’ve been like emotionally dumped(?) thrice, lost a lot of big opportunities, classes are hard, testing is stressful, I have to think about college and community service and social lives and all of this crap while having like no friends and no sleep and it’s exhausting. I’m so excited to experience Junior year with them, but I feel so bad cause I know Junior year right now and it SUCKS- praying for all these characters, myself, all high school juniors and anyone in school rn period. I’m excited to have the rest of my senior year with the bad kids but also know im gonna break down lol

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lord-squiggletits · 16 days ago

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Wanted to send an ask as well to hopefully provide some distraction from…recent events.

Are there any parts of world building in the TF IDW universe that you wish were explored/expanded upon more? Or that you want to explore in your writing? Like certain aspects of pre-war Cybertron, cybertronian culture, post-war Cybertron, etc?

Okay this is actually perfectly timed for a rant I wanted to go on about the way mnemosurgery is written in IDW1 because I hate how JRO basically made it an ontologically evil field of medicine both intrinsically and in terms of the average person who does it, like

First of all I want to preface this by saying I'm not accusing JRO of having any particular beliefs, this is just my commentary on how things came off and how his writing style contributes to both virtues and flaws in his writing. So I might say "he's basically saying this" but in the sense of "unfortunate implications, accidental or purposeful, in his writing."

But like... it makes me so mad because the worldbuilding around mnemosurgery kind of makes no sense to me? It seems like a really fucking wasted opportunity to cast basically every mnemosurgeon in the continuity as evil and to make it so that even just doing mnemosurgery is basically a toxic, destructive act that will literally kill you? Honestly, I don't think JRO even came up with mnemosurgery as like, "here's a thing that exists in this world and how it works" so much as, he took a character-first approach to writing (as he always does) and wrote mnemosurgery to work whatever way would work best for Chromedome and other character-related conflicts and plot points.

Like, mnemosurgery can view/alter memories from a living person but from a dead person it can only get moments from right before death. Makes sense. Mnemosurgery slowly kills you every time you do it??? Uh... honestly that comes off more as a handwave to make it so that any time the LL needs information they can't just needle it straight out of whoever's mind they need bc of course Chromedome can only do it when it's really important after all. Mnemosurgery... is only ever used for brainwashing people? Like, literally every mnemosurgeon except Chromedome is evil (and cartoonishly so, for Trepan and Sunder, like literally unredeemable monsters in every way) and any time they actually enjoy their field of medicine it's bc they're a sadist that likes to manipulate and oppress people? Kind of... uncreative.

Mnemosurgery is ADDICTIVE?? You're addicted to needling people's brains because mnemosurgery is ontologically evil and then it literally kills you? Okay like... do I even need to explain how tone-deaf it is to incorporate addiction of all things into the worldbuilding here? "You're an addict which makes you dangerous to society. The good ones stop doing the addictive thing because they're morally strong/care about others/aren't hedonists, but the bad ones who only care about doing their drug of choice are evil because the fact that they don't quit shows that they don't care about other people and OF COURSE the main/only fate that awaits addicts is their inevitable death by their own addiction!" Like, we get enough of that shit in real life, JRO. Did you really have to take an already heavily stigmatized condition like ADDICTION and slap it onto your ontologically evil mnemosurgery where the evil ones are evil because they love abusing/manipulating people and don't care enough about dying to stop being addicted to mnemosurgery? Come the fuck on.

Like, I understand that "the science of studying/altering memories" is heavily laden with nightmare fuel as is, and I don't have a problem with that (and stuff like the Institute) because the mind/memories are an intrinsic part of personhood, so any scientific field around it (or any government that wants to sponsor it) will abuse that knowledge just like with any other field of medicine. But to use human examples, why the fuck does mnemosurgery have to be inherently evil? What about stuff like Alzheimer's that degrades ppl's memories to the point of not even remembering a few seconds ago? Wouldn't it be beautiful if mnemosurgery could help with that? What about psychological issues where maybe people with intense PTSD/trauma/etc could have their worst memories be removed/dulled so that they become mentally stable enough for psychiatric/therapeutic interventions to become effective? What if someone has a TBI and wants help recovering the memories they lost?

What about non-scary, non-medicinal applications of mnemosurgery? What if someone just really treasures the memory of a particular day with their best friend and visits a mnemosurgery every couple years so that information creep doesn't slowly alter their memories of that precious day? What if it was possible for mnemosurgeons to intensify memories, so that maybe someone could have a happy memory intensified and think of it any time they're sad, struggling, having mental health struggles, etc? What if mnemosurgeons could take/copy memories from people's brains and convert them to video format in a way that other people could watch it? Imagine the sheer potential present in that when it comes to preserving history through literal firsthand testimonials of what happened! What if a mnemosurgeon could transfer memories from one person to another-- what kinds of breakthroughs in empathy, communication, and understanding others could happen if you could LITERALLY see a conflict from another person's perspective? In those ways, mnemosurgeons would basically be able to act as a hybrid of doctor, psychologist, diplomat, mediator, and archivist all in one!

But no... instead we just got "Mnemosurgery is evil and pretty much only used for brainwashing, 99.8% of all mnemosurgeons are evil creeps, oh by the way it's also addicting and will literally kill you if you do it too much." SMFH.

#squiggle answers #meta #idk if my contempt for the addiction part comes off strongly enough. like #as it is addiction is already spun as a moral failing by ppl who only care about getting high and not about hurting themselves/others #so like. why would you take addiction and apply it as an element of worldbuilding where indulging that addiction literally makes you evil #(or rather where the only ppl who continuously indulge their addiction are evil and just like doing it)#you wanna know something? IRL more addicts get sober than die of overdoses. ODing and being addicted forever is THE MINORITY #BEING AN ADDICT DOESN'T DOOM YOU TO DYING BY YOUR OWN SUPPOSED VICES AND LACK OF SELF CONTROL #getting clean is THE NORM and not the exception! so why in the hell would you write it into your fictional story #and make it so that not only are most of these addicts evil people but they'll also all inevitably die bc of their addiction???#this sort of worldbuilding literally propagates the idea that addicts are doomed to die in the majority of cases (patently untrue)#and like frames the ppl who are addicted as basically being evil and choosing to continue needling people #that's not how real life addiction works. like at all. irl addicts don't destroy their health w drugs bc they love doing it #but yeah in general JRO kind of has this issue with black and white morality. you see it pop up everywhere in his writing #his depiction of mnemosurgery comes off as one of those trademark JRO #'here is your sign that this character is evil and unredeemable bc they do this thing that's inherently evil'#kind of things. and as someone recently getting into studying addiction as a social issue it sucks ass

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ataykiri · 1 year ago

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Our stay on this earth is so so short, we’re in such a dream state that we keep forgetting this truth

#there’s this girl in my area who died two days ago just like that #collapsed due to the heat and then had a heart attack and died #الله يرحمها #she’s like 19/20 #people our age are dying right next to us #yet we think we’re safe and still have time to improve to change to repent #what great regret it’ll be if we don’t die in the state of true sincere repentance but in one of ghaflah and self deception and sin #being consumed by your nafs by this world and sucked into it #اللهم اني اسالك حسن الخاتمة #we’re so lost in our worldly struggles and ideas and desires that we forget what we’re here for #you can live on this earth and engage with people and enjoy your stay even if you always keep your heart in check and your deeds aligned #with what Allah swt wants #you can turn all your actions into worship by having the right intention #eating sleeping -> to gain strength for worship and be of benefit for people #studying working -> learn about the beauty and intricacy that Allah has put into His creation #work to achieve what Allah has written for you #that’s true life connecting everything to the Creator the One who gave us life #everything else is just deception and will go to waste #and cannot be called a true life

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ezekiel13 · 3 months ago

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I hated poetry until I was 13

Do you know what made me stop?

I sat next to this girl in English. We did not get along. She threatened to kill me a few times, standard stuff.

She hated it when I recited the poems we learnt. So I started memorising them. (We did not have to. We had to know quotes for our GCSEs)

And in memorising some of the poems to annoy this girl I hated, I gained an affection for them and started to understand them

And then when I was 15 and in my English GCSE I:

1) Did much better than I thought possible because of how much effort I put in, all of which stemmed from a petty hate

2) OMG FUCKING HELL THIS POEM IS SO GOOD SEAMUS HEANEY HOT DAMN (unseen poetry)

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arnold-layne · 6 months ago

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im such a loser it hurts. i’ve gained a lot of weight over the last year and it makes me hate my body. my job sucks and pays so little i feel ashamed just thinking about it. my grades are bad and my writing is mediocre and devoid of meaning. why do i even exist

#hate hate hate hate myself #when did it all go wrong #though i guess it was never right in the first place #my whole life ive been pulling through by the skin of my teeth. and of course it doesnt look this way #with the impressive list of high ranking schools i studied in and good grades and aced exams #but it never brought me happiness. it was just something i had to do. was supposed to do because i was good enough #and i never enjoyed studying there. it has been a constant nightmare #and now im working the job which is not bad. but being there makes me feel like im actively dying #and yeah. the salary. it Sucks with a capital s #and all my attempts to find a better paying job so far resulted in nothing #i have a good life. i have a nice apartment with a short commute. a loving partner. enough money to live comfortably #so i feel like i shouldnt complain #but the horrors persist through it all #its just been a constant struggle. and whatever i do it doesnt go away #sorry. im upset and tired and my heas hurts #will probably delete this tomorrow #arnold’s laments

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meteortrails · 2 days ago

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power napping before pathophys and then it’s back to the fucking Grind of getting my presentation abstract done, getting my ochem hw that’s already 2 days late done, AND getting my corn profile paper back on track since I missed the last like. three checkpoints. which were graded too :( AND I have that fucking inorganic exam on Friday too goddamnit…

#I can’t pull 3 all nighters in a row I’ve done it before and that shit sucks so bad!!!#so I’ll have to actually get my stuff done before going to bed tonight. then tomorrow: paper before my 1 class. study after until bed.#doable!!! just ignore the part where it’s all the work I’ve been putting off for literally a month I got this!!!!!

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citysimp · 3 months ago

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Helo 🕊️🕊️🕊️

#tumbler? i hardly know her #grrr summer is endingg schooool ugh im blindeeeed ‼️‼️#i used to love school but like now my class suck i have a consuming academic validation problem AND ITS THE LAST YEAR GRRR #like yay last year but brrr last year meaning bac meaning im scared #i have to “lock in” for this year but also substain a healthy diet and sleep schedule and somewhat find the best way to learn and memorise #things which has been impossible for me for #ever #but we're officially starting at the end of the month anyways #now all we're doing is cram school went to my first science session 2day #i also put earlier locking in into brackets cuz ive been working my ass off the last three years #those in my class who thinks its at the last year that they'll start working gonna need a miracle #the teachers are gonna expect you to KNOW and have STUDIED the subjet they are not gonna wait #sighh venting after a month of disapearing this is a personal blog anyways hiii i hope anyone that sees this has a great dayy #im also trying to decorate the blog but nothing's clicking i gave up #yipe yap

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opens-up-4-nobody · 7 months ago

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...

#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

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ravidrws · 1 year ago

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screenshot redraw!!:

#genshin impact #fanart #genshin fanart #Klee #klee fanart #Shes sososo cute #ravidraws #I redrew this over a screenshot bc summer sucked all the motivation out of me #This was really fun tho #now it's time for my usual diary entries sorry about that lol #back when school was taking all of my time I hoped I could finally work on some projects in the summer #Now I have time but no motivation #Well I technically have no time either bc I have only a week left to choose something to study and a uni to do it #And to somehow pass an entrance exam I haven't prepared for #and all I'm doing is trying not to think about it #I've been hiding behind thai dramas Omori's let's plays and Momo's fancams on yt while everything around me is on fire for over a week now

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stormyrainyday · 5 months ago

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this entire year has been flop after flop why am i losing so bad your honor i am literally just some guy

#im yapping u can move on if u dont wanna hear my life story #first i get nuked by stomach pains when i go to visit my friends #something that had been ongoing for years but #my best friend convinces me to see a doctor that year #my condition deteriorates no matter what meds they put me on #i finally get a more invasive exam that shows my intestines were inflamed #i get put on fucking steroids that fuck me up physically and emotionally #i go through multiple med school exams after spending months in crippling pain #pain so bad id be bedridden for hours #got 6 weeks of migraines near daily #sometimes multiple in a day #stressed out of my mind by the time my finals came around to the point that i could no longer bring myself to care #bc i was sure id fail no matter how hard i studied #visit my friends again bc somehow its already winter again #am a nervous wreck all the time and retreat into my phone #but also hate myself for not spending what little time i had fully present #constantly worn out and exhausted bc my meds are barely working #and id found out i was allergic to a lot of things so i was cutting a lot of things out of my diet #lmfao it was so bad my weight still hasnt recovered but yeah i come back i start 3rd year #the toll the last year had taken on my mental health finally registers #i become too depressed to study for my hardest module yet #UGH THATS SO CRINGE JUST SIT DOWN AND STUDY??#but nothing was sticking on god #anyway im sure ive failed #and la salud mental no es bien or soemthing idk i havent taken spanish in 3 years #anyway deep sigh i just stay losing #i cant believe im in like four fucking research projects and classes and trying to work on myself this shit sucks balls #and clinical rotations...#lord just strike me down

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crandberrysaucewithpulp · 24 days ago

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we should all be done with trying to smear our distinctive qualities into the dent of societal normalcy. i am going to seek every weirdo freak and nerd and assemble them into a union to rival insecure conformists, and then convert them into their own authenticity

#i think this is how our race will heal #and so many miss out on deep friendships and relationships w others bc we’re all afraid of being seen #but it’s a wonderful thing to be known and to grow with people and have them understand you #and then you fill some of each others craters with your own habits or interests and such #and u learn from each other and relate to each other better and just become even better individuals #and idk why i’m thinking about this a lot today. but it’s saddening to know that all this value is sucked out of our world today #like people can’t stand to love things that are different #and avoid unorthodoxy while being unwilling to know more about it #so stuck in routine without the things that help celebrate living #obviously ppl have attraction and comfort in work and studies #but also personal enjoyment stretches into infinite forms #and we’re so obsessed with acting like a person that we forget that we were humans first #and to me there is a difference #people are obedient and civil. humans are adventurous curious and fascinated with the mere acknowledgement of being alive #there’s so much substance in being a human and we were never meant to live with minimized focuses #we are explorers and critical thinkers and we never stop learning from and enjoying being alive #and we’re meant to bond together even if our only similarity is our species #and people now are so strict on what and who they interact with that finding interest in someone that’s different #sounds like something that they need to overcome before investing in #which is sick #the way we’re taught to not show kindness or respect to people that don’t precisely embody the idea of an ordinary peer is just awful #we should all let ourselves be weird we should all find interest in specific topics and talk bout them we should all dress in #whatever feels right we should all recognize that our humor is different whether bizarre or bland #i call out of work for one day and start a transcribed podcast in tumblr tags :|#ready to commence the revolution

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orcelito · 1 month ago

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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement

It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao

#speculation nation #i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno #also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol #but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication #like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol #but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them #and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr #but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.

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