#the way we’re taught to not show kindness or respect to people that don’t precisely embody the idea of an ordinary peer is just awful

[engekihaikyuu]

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - The View from the Top 2

What’s In Tokyo Interview Translation with Daigo Kotarou, Akana Ryuunosuke, and Kiyama Ryuu

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“The View from the Top 2” will be the closing chapter in Engeki Haikyuu’s five-and-a-half-year history. As the performance draws nearer and nearer, what is your current state of mind?   Daigo: Since this will be the final production for Engeki Haikyuu, we’re definitely more enthusiastic than usual, and I’m so excited I’m thinking, “Can we get started already?”   Akana: We’re working very hard at rehearsals and really putting everyone’s strengths together to show people this incredible climax for Engeki Haikyuu. We want to deliver the best show we can. Ryuu: I haven’t been back since “Fly High,” when I made my appearance as a representative at the national youth training camp. This will be the first show to feature Kamomedai High School and the first to feature a match of ours. When I think that this will also be the last time, I get a little sad. I don’t want to have any regrets, so right now I’m just exhausting myself giving it my all everyday at rehearsals.

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Full interview and more photos under the Read More! Please do not repost my translations

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Daigo: Ryuu-kun hasn’t been with us for about a year and a half, but just like the last time we were in a show together, he is a kind senpai who looks after me and speaks to me very candidly. When I mess around and drop honorifics like, “Hey, Ryuu!” he’ll just mess around right back and say, “I’m your senpai, you know!” (laughs)   Ryuu: It’s already a running gag now. (laughs)  

Daigo: Ryuu-kun has always had such a welcoming aura ever since we first met, so it doesn’t really feel like there’s any distance between us. I can ask him for advice about anything. But this time we have the Kamomedai High cast in addition to Ryuu-kun, and so I keep carefully probing around to see when it might be good to talk to them (wry smile). But Ryuu-kun always bridges the gap, and I’m very grateful for how attentive he is. Also, Ryuu-kun's movements and dancing are really clean and precise. I kind of want to mimic him, so I’ve actually been observing him in secret for research. He hides such amazing potential! I’m talking about all this because this is an interview... but I don’t actually want to admit all this. (laughs) Ryuu: Kota doesn’t praise me like this at rehearsals so I’m really happy to hear that! Man, interviews are great. (big grin) Everyone: (laughs)

Since starting rehearsals, what’s the teamwork on Kamomedai been like? Ryuu: We haven’t yet managed to gather everyone in the cast yet. But when it comes to the cast members who are at rehearsals right now, we’ve been trying to define our individual roles little by little, and gradually in response we’ve been getting more coordinated as a team.  

Kiyama-san, do you have a specific image in mind of what kind of team you want to create? Ryuu: I talked about it with our director, Worry Kinoshita-san, and with the elements we aim to show on-stage, we'll be a team that’s a sort of hybrid between Shiratorizawa and Aoba Johsai. This the Spring High National Tournament quarterfinals, and we’re the powerhouse team that stands in Karasuno’s way. So the image we’re aiming for is, “When they’re strong, they’re strong, and when they’re excellent, they’re excellent.” And I want to really get into that aspect.  

From your previous experience, do you have any particular advice for your teammates?   Ryuu: The parts that you create as a team make up a huge portion of Engeki Haikyuu, and the way we craft this play is very different from other plays. At the very beginning, I did tell them, “It’s going to be tough, but it’s important that you get used to the Engeki Haikyuu method first. Let’s work hard!”  

Daigo-san, Akana-san, this will be your 4th time with this production, so how has the Karasuno Team powered up compared to before? Akana: We’ve become a really solid unit! Things like, “Right now, we should have this,” or “Now is the time when we have to do that.” Any one of us can just give a little comment like that, or judge the atmosphere, and we get to work. We don’t even have to talk, we’ve gotten to a point of incredible mutual understanding.   Daigo: We’ve spent so much time together, so now we don’t even have to talk to be in unison on counts or with timing, so rehearsals proceed really smoothly. Of course we discuss the acting portions with Worry-san, and I hope that we can have a nice friendly rivalry with everyone on Kamomedai as we work to create this play.  

I feel like this will unfold into a really speedy match that keeps us on the edges of our seats, but how are you personally thinking of crafting all this? Daigo: Rather than a series of scenes with really hectic matches, we want to draw focus to individual emotional moments... In particular with Karasuno Ace, Azumane-san, but each individual player’s emotional journey too, and Hinata and Hoshiumi’s “Battle of the little giants.” We’re going to show our relationships with all of our past rivals even more we did before. It’s going to be a little bit different from how we’ve presented things up to now where it’s felt like a festival no matter where you look around on-stage. We’re paying more attention to the drama of it, and I feel like this is turning into a production with an appropriately dramatic ending.   Akana: From last spring’s “The Strongest Challengers,” we’ve been steadily progressing with all of the Spring High matches. Even if it’s a really tough match, in their hearts, the players are having fun just playing volleyball. That’s the image we’ve portrayed, and for those of us on that stage, we’re also feeling the exact same and having fun. So I just want to look the Kamomedai cast in the eye and together enjoy the fun of volleyball.

What about you, Kiyama-san? Ryuu: As a team, we’re being very conscious of becoming one cohesive unit, and for me as Hoshiumi Kourai, I’m thinking about how much influence Hinata and Kageyama will have on me and how best to show that. I also personally want to be able to push Nosuke and Kota with my acting. As an actor, the biggest aim is to master the role and see how much you can move people’s emotions, and this is of course essential for Engeki Haikyuu as well. So that’s what I really want to focus on.  

Now I know that Engeki Haikyuu rehearsals can be particularly rigorous, but do you also add on additional voluntary practices and training? Daigo: I do 100 shuttle runs every time we finish rehearsals. I sweat it out, go home, eat, take a bath, prep for the next day, and then go straight to sleep! It’s basically exactly the life of an athlete on a team. (laughs) Akana: Everyday after we finish rehearsals, I go with Yamamoto Ryousuke (Tsukishima Kei’s actor) for extra weight training. Normally I do a bit of weight training on my own even during rehearsals, but in order to make my body even bigger than before, I haven’t skipped a single session. I’ve also been very conscious about my protein and carb intake.   Daigo: It’s crazy how much he can eat. On Nosuke’s desk at rehearsals, there’s basically a mountain of rice balls.   Akana: Yeah. Even if I feel like I’m gonna throw up, I make sure to eat every bite. (laughs) Ryuu: After “Fly High,” I actually started training with a parkour instructor in order to prepare for our match against Karasuno. Akana: Ehh?! That’s insane! Daigo: That’s why all your movements are so clean!!   Ryuu: Parkour is a sport where you eliminate all unnecessary movements, so adding my parkour training, I now have more variation and range in what I can do for this show. All of the ways in which I can express myself have expanded thanks to other shows as well, so I would like to keep on this track.  

And now I’d like to ask about your memories from past tours. Can you tell us about a particular scene or a particular line that left an impression on you? Daigo: For me the tour that left the biggest impression on me was our most recent one, The Battle of the Trash Heap. It was so fun to be in a play together with Nekoma’s Takato-kun (Kozume Kenma’s actor). Even after the tour, we continue to contact each other in our spare time, and I’m really happy that our relationship has progressed to that point. He motivated me so much, and because of him I now aspire to become someone who can also influence everyone around me the way he did. It’s not an exaggeration to say that Takato-kun is an inspiration to me.  

Do you have any motivational or supportive words from that beloved senpai then? Daigo: I was honestly so happy that Takato-kun, whom I admire and respect, said to me, “I love Kota’s acting.” And I’m sure that he’ll come to see this tour as well, and I don’t want to disappoint him, so I’m really keeping his words close to my heart (laughs). I want to face this play with complete sincerity and with all my heart.  

Akana-san, do you have any scenes you can’t forget? Any lines that are precious to you? Akana: This isn’t a specific scene, but what’s precious to me is Engeki Haikyuu itself, because it really taught me how precious it is to see something through to the end together with your teammates. We move around so much it’s absolutely exhausting, but the sense of accomplishment you feel when you safely accomplish a tour is incredible. And it makes me happy because every time I can also really feel how much I myself have grown and improved. I feel like this production hasn’t just helped me establish the baseline for my acting career, it’s taught me important things for just life in general.  .

And for you, Kiyama-san? Ryuu: The tour that left an impression on me is “Fly High.” For “Fly High,” I was part of the youth camp and even with just that, I was like, “I have this much stuff to do?!” So it was rough, but the Karasuno cast had about double the amount we had to do, and even so everyone was just at heart having fun with volleyball. That left an impression on me. I can pound my chest and say that we made a really fun show! The fact that we pulled it off and met our goal is a source of pride and confidence for me.  

Kiyama-san, what’s the most important thing you’ve received from your time with Engeki Haikyuu? Ryuu: “Don’t leave people behind.” In any sequence, if even one person loses count, everything comes to a halt. And when that happens, there are people who will get appropriately upset with you. It might feel like they’re being strict and unforgiving of your mistakes, but it’s because they think of you as an equal, and so they have expectations of you and love for you. And that is why I’m able to get a grip and never give up, no matter how rough it gets.   Daigo: I feel like if you go through the Engeki Haikyuu experience, it really improves your social skills and thoughtfulness. “Even if it’s hard, don’t run away.” “What should I do to best foster my relationships with these people?” These are things above and beyond what an actor normally thinks about. But if you hold back for even a moment and slip up, people get hurt. We have acrobatic routines that are that precarious, so it's really important to be constantly communicating with each other and to never let up our focus. I feel that through Engeki Haikyuu, and of course other shows too, I've really taken to heart that this level of consideration is necessary for everyday life too.

And lastly, please give us something that those of us who are looking forward to the show should keep an eye out for.   Ryuu: This work is going to cram in a huge amount of content, so it may be difficult to grasp everything on one watch, but there is a very important them eat the center of all of that. I think that it’ll be a production that fans of the manga will enjoy, of course fans of Engeki Haikyuu, and even people who may be watching for the first time. We’re in the midst of putting all of our effort into making sure of that. Please come to see our gallant figures one final time.   Akana: The focus will be on Hinata and Hoshiumi’s “Battle of the Little Giants,” on the bond between Hinata and Kageyama, and the relationships between Karasuno High and all of the rival schools that we’ve defeated to get here. As Ryuu-kun said, this production is going to have a lot of things to keep an eye out for. Engeki Haikyuu is about Passion, Courage, and deep Emotion, so I hope that people will come to see us at the theater and take that all in. Daigo: In the manga, there’s a famous line that Coach Ukai says during the Shiratorizawa match: “Volleyball is a sport where you’re always looking up.” We hope we’re able to convey all of the emotion behind those words to the audience, especially given the current circumstances. We’ll try with all of our might to do so through this play. Engeki Haikyuu began about five-and-a-half-years ago, and the time that our generation has spent running with this baton is about two years. Engeki Haikyuu is popular around the world, and this production is one where I can pound my chest and say, “It’s fun! It’s interesting and great!” I think I will be able to convey that to many many people.   I would love for you to see that with your own eyes until the moment that the final curtain falls. Please look forward to it!

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You can read the original Japanese interview here: (x)

Please do not repost my translations!  This includes screenshots of bits and pieces taken out of context, especially if they don’t link back to this full post. If you appreciate the work I do for this blog and want to support my translation efforts please consider donating a ko-fi! (x)

[flufflepuffle296]

Heathers au: Beautiful Songfic

This is more centred around Veronica/Marinette so not really any mentions of Heather/Heather/Heather. Sorry if someone’s done this before I apologise I just got into Heathers like two days ago. Also I changed some lyrics and took others out to make it more “realistic”. Sorry I suck at endings, it’s 5:30am rn and this is my first fic so be nice please! (I’m on mobile so I can’t add the keep reading tag so sorry if you don’t like this) xxx

I brushed down my dress: I couldn’t give them anything to criticise me over. Everything had to be perfect. I had to be perfect. Chloé sat next to me, my beautiful fiancée, slipping on her kitten heels. She may be 3 months pregnant but no Bourgeois woman would be seen wearing flats. I was in a red floor length a line dress — I grew out of my childish pink years ago, before it even went out of fashion! My hair was twisted into two plaits that were knotted together into a stylish bun at the back. Chloé meanwhile had stuck to her white and gold aesthetic, currently in a slim fitting white dress, showing off her small baby bump, decorated with gold jewellery. I rummaged through my drawers, trying to find a lipstick, when a thin book toppled out. I picked it up, and laughed fondly when I saw what it was.

My old Collège and Lycée diary.

I flipped through it, landing on the page that stuck most clearly in my mind. It was the day my class reminded me of my current reality at that time, shocking me out of a bubble that had surrounded me during the summer holidays that year.

September 1st, 1989.

Dear Diary: I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of senior year!

And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

I bit my lip. What happened? I knew darn well what happened. Lila Rossi. She came in, flaunting her friendships and connections, a new disability every other week to cry about, another rumour about me coming out every 3 days.

Alya ended our friendship, Adrien continued to cry about Lila’s feelings. Lila just kept doing what she did best. The class gave up on changing my mind and instead decided that calling me names would be better. Because logic?!

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Burnout!” “Bug-eyes!” “Poser!” “Lard-ass!” Were the insults they liked to yell daily. Yeah, they weren’t the most creative...

We were so tiny, happy and shiny. Playing tag and getting chased. Singing and clapping, laughing and napping. Baking cookies, eating paste.

Nino and Kim used to come over to the bakery when we were kids, where we’d gorge ourselves on sweets, before celebrating our sugar rushes by chasing each other in the park and then crashing on my sofa, cuddled in blankets and laying on top of each other.

Then we got bigger, that was the trigger. Like the Huns invading Rome. Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school: This is the Thunderdome. Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon. College will be paradise, if I'm not dead by June!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray for a better way. If we changed back then, we could change again. We can be beautiful...Just not today.

I scoffed at my optimism back then. Them changing? They never did, I don’t know why I bothered trying at that point. I should’ve moved on but hey! We all make mistakes. It’s just that sometimes you make 11 friendships worth of mistakes.

“Freak!” “Slut!” “Cripple!” “Homo!” “Homo!” “Homo!”

I cringed as I read their old “insults”. They would write homophobic messages across my locker, getting Alix to spray paint a few slurs across my work after I came out as bisexual.

Things will get better soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. Wake from this coma, take my diploma. Then I can blow this town. Dream of ivy-covered walls, no smoky French cafés. Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

I had purposefully sent out applications to universities far away from these people, from Paris. All three schools accepted me, something I can’t say about my classmates, most of whom were rejected for essays on false information (sourced by Lila) and a quick scan over the Ladyblog meant not a single newspaper would even consider my ex-best friend. Gabriel Agreste, as I later found out through my internship in America, had to bribe several schools with double tuition to get even one to accept Adrien, after he got exposed as sexual harasser and disgraced hero “Chat Noir”. I turned back to my diary, having to peel off rock hard gum from the page that someone had smeared in “revenge”.

Le Chiên Kim. Third year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick.

“What did you say to me, skank?” He would yell, his fist raised in the hallway.

“Aah, nothing!” I then cowered. I may be Ladybug, but he was 150lbs of pure rage. No one can compete with that!

But I know, I know... Life can be beautiful. I pray, I pray, For a better way. We can be beautiful...

“Marinette! Wide load! Honnnnnk!”

He was the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

“Hey! Pick that up! Right now!”

“I’m sorry, are you actually talking to me?” He used to snarl, his hands covered in sauce from knocking my tray.

I stood my ground, I had been practising for this moment. “Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on me. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant.”

Kim then smirked, crouching down to eye level and pressing a finger to my forehead. “You have a zit right there...” he pointed out, causing the cafeteria to laugh at my expense.

I used to ask myself “Why... Why do they hate me?”

And hear Adrien whisper “Why don't I fight back?”

Watch as Max Googled “Why do I act like such a creep?”

Listen in on Lila stamping her feet in the bathroom asking “Why won't he date me?” Clearly frustrated.

Kim panicking as he wondered “Why did I hit him?”

And Chloé sob down the phone “Why do I cry myself to sleep?”

I would stay up late, screaming, begging. At my lowest points I would cry out “Somebody hug me! Somebody fix me! Somebody save me! Send me a sign, God! Give me some hope, here! Something to live for!”

I remember when I first met my real friends. The famed trio had gone into the bathroom and I followed after them, clearly my throat.

“Who are you?”

“Uh... Marinette Dupain Cheng. I crave a boon”

“What boon?” Chloé asked, filing her nails.

“Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. If our class think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...”

Chloé threw her nail file out and began circling around me, running her hands through my hair, commenting that “For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure!” Before coming to a conclusion.

“And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be beautiful. Mascara, maybe some lip gloss, and we're on our way. Get this girl some blush; and Kagami, I need your brush. Let's make her beautiful.” Sabrina and Kagami, chimed in, echoing her words.

“Let's make her beautiful...”

“Let’s make her beautiful...”

“Make her beautiful...Okay?” Chloé ordered, dragging me out with Kagami and Sabrina, driving me to her hotel. They sat me down, taking my hair out of its bunches and brushing it out. Kagami painted my nails a deep navy with surprising precision, manning my cuticles. Sabrina twirled my hair into a high bun, leaving a few pieces at the front to frame my face. Chloé came back from her wardrobe, throwing a blue blazer and grey skirt at me. I changed into my outfit for them, to which they clapped their hands in glee. They dragged me back to school, taking in everyone’s reactions to the new and improved me. This became my new daily outfit for the rest of the year — the class couldn’t find anything bad about it, and even if they did Chloé would threaten them with her father’s power.

I was happy with my squad. Kagami taught us Japanese and Chloé taught us American English that she’d picked up from her mother. I taught them self defence, under the guise of learning it from my mum, unknowingly training them for the day I would rip Chat Noir’s miraculous from him, before slamming it into Kagami’s palm. I needed help that day, so thrust them bee and the fox miraculous at Chloé and Sabrina respectively. They became permanent heroes, Kagami under the name “Noirette”, Chloé under the new guise of “Buttercup” and Sabrina “Renard Rouge”. Akuma attacks have never lasted more than 15 minutes since we got rid of that alley cat, and we’ve been closing in on Hawkmoth recently.

I shook my head, snapping the crude book shut, throwing the diary in the bin. Today was going to be the day I made peace with all that happened, our 10 year school reunion. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna make up with anyone, just that I will finally leave everything behind. I found my lipstick and smeared on the crimson lip, smacking my lips together. I grabbed my clutch and helped Chloé stand up, though she wobbled a little in her heels. I slid her miraculous into her updo, blowing a kiss at her as to not ruin her makeup.

We met up with Kagami and Sabrina in the hallway, Kagami in a wine red suit with gold jewellery, and Sabrina was in emerald green to compliment her red hair. We stepped into the limo awaiting us outside and set off, arriving at the school 10 minutes later. We walked up the steps, hitching up our dresses and arrived in the courtyard. It had been lit up with fairy lights, with stands of food and drinks scattered around the court. Our old classmates were huddled in small groups, whilst Mlle. Mendeleiev’s was in a large group, enjoying each other’s company after 10 years apart.

No one noticed us, until Rose pointed at me and whispered “Who’s that with Chloé?” The group turned to stare at us, trying to place my face. Adrien looked up from talking to Lila, who seemed to be flaunting a rather tacky Gabriel engagement ring, and whispered,

“Marinette?!”

The class began gossiping amongst themselves, “Marinette? Marinette? Marinette?!”

I ignored them, their childish ways were behind me, and walked up to Aurore and Mireille, fawning over their relationship. They turned Kagami, asking her about her life and squealing over her Olympic medal for fencing. I grinned as I watched my old class, happy that they had moved on from each other — well apart from Alya and Adrien, who were still hooked on Lila. I was finally, content! I thought back on my diary, one particular paragraph standing out to me at this time.

And you know, you know, you know, life can be beautiful. You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! Ask me how it feels, lookin' like hell on wheels...My God, it's beautiful! I feel so beautiful... And when you're beautiful...It's a beautiful frickin' day!

Chloé boasted my achievements, my business, my awards, and the entire of Mendeleiev’s class started chanting “Marinette! Marinette! Marinette!”, much to my embarrassment. I boasted her’s in return, Sabrina revealed how far she’d come as a lawyer, Kagami swung her prized sword from side to side as she listened to us all catching up, laughing at the memories.

It really was a beautiful day.

[padfootagain]

Always

Next trope for my winter event will be one bed, with our favourite Jedi, Obi-Wan!

I hope you all like it, it's just fluff!!

Do I know anything about the climate on Alderaan in winter? Absolutely not, but I don't exactly care.

Gif not mine

Word Count: 3097

There was snow outside, and a loud wind blowing. Sky grey with clouds that didn't seem willing to move away, and speeders hurrying back and forth through the main street. The town went on for miles all around you, and yet it was merely a little city for the planet's standard. The complicated and elegant architecture, showing the wealth and skill of the people of Alderaan, made every building magical, and the white snow that had settled on the crevasses of the sculpted façades made it all the more beautiful.

However, you were not on Alderaan to enjoy the magic of the wintery season. You were there on a mission for the Jedi Order.

Your friend Obi-Wan was accompanying you to retrieve and bring back to the Senate a valuable copy of the decree stating the partnership between Alderaan and a nearby planet of their system. It wasn't exactly the most excited mission you had been on, or so you had thought. That was before your contact on the planet was found dead.

And now, you and Obi-Wan were on the run.

You had left the capital for this little town, and hoped to find a way off the planet as fast as you could. However, the magical weather seemed to play against you, and all the transports were stuck on the ground until further notice.

You had no choice but to hope for a better weather the next day, along with a safe passage off the planet.

Your hand came to nonchalantly rest upon your chest, touching the decree safely hidden in your long brown robes.

The sun was setting already, the season shortening the days, and the question of finding a shelter for the night started to seriously worry you.

"I think there is a hotel of some sort, straight ahead. Do you see it? Up the street," Obi-Wan told you, as if reading your mind.

You hated it when he acted this way. When he answered your question before you could ask it. You had no doubt that it wasn't a mind trick, your own defences were way too powerful to allow anyone into your thoughts, talented Jedi or not. He just knew you that well. After years and years of friendship, training together as Padawans, now both of you Masters, you knew each other better than you knew yourselves. And sometimes, you hated the fact that he simply knew you too well.

"I'm freezing," you admitted, tightening your robes around your shivering frame. "We have to find shelter for the night.

"We will."

Ha, that overconfident tone of his. You hated that as well about him, it was driving you up the walls.

Which he clearly felt, as he turned to you with an amused smile, and that made you even madder.

Although, you weren't angry, just mad. There was a difference between the two when it came to Obi-Wan: he was annoying you to no end, and yet you could never be tired of his presence by your side.

You chose to ignore his glance, and hurried up the busy street instead. Up ahead, a speeder was stuck under a deep layer of snow, and five people were struggling to get it out. Had you not been under such danger yourself, you would have gladly used the force to help them. But you couldn't take the risk to draw too much attention to yourself. You reckoned your Jedi clothes were doing a good enough job for that already. Which brought you to your next worry.

"We should change our clothes tonight," you told Obi-Wan. "Our robes are kind of… not mingling well with the scenery."

"You're right," he agreed with a nod.

"We should find some new clothes before going to that hotel."

"Where to?"

You looked on both sides of the street, and spotted a shop a few meters further. Obi-Wan silently followed you there.

It was a strange thing to be on a mission with him again. You hadn't since the beginning of the war. He was always off somewhere playing the General, while you were more on spying missions than pure military. Your skills for reckon missions were of value as well, and you seldom found yourself in big battles Obi-Wan had grown used to handle. You were surprised by the Council's decision to send the two of you to Alderaan, especially with Anakin and Ahsoka off fighting a battle on the other side of the Galaxy. But who were you to question the Council's orders. As Obi-Wan kept on reminding you, if you had wanted to change their minds, then you shouldn't have refused the seat that was offered to you.

However, you were aware that politics were far from your forte. You were a woman of actions first. Obi-Wan was 'the Negociator', he was the one in your team with good words and manners who was able to sort any situation – or most of them at least – by talking his way through it. You were more of a lightsaber sort of Jedi.

Maybe that was the reason why the two of you worked so well as a team. If Obi-Wan was more diplomatic than you, you were also quicker at taking decisions and weighing risks. Besides, you were both gifted with a strong bond to the Force and great skills in combat.

Oh, and you loved flying still, unlike him.

You bought some warmer clothes and hid your lightsabers well under your coats, along with the decree. Your own clothes were hidden in a backpack you bought. You were thus wearing some brown leather pants, large boots perfect against the cold, and had bought a new brown coat designed against the dropping temperatures. Obi-Wan had settled for some classic beige pants and a long coat as well. You were now better equipped to walk through the city unnoticed. And well, the way he looked in these clothes didn't make things easier for you, but you tried to push the thought in the darkest corner of your mind and walked on.

You weren't aware of the fact that Obi-Wan was thinking the exact same thing about your civilian clothes, but he did. He would never confess some thoughts to you though.

The snow fell even more heavily than before, by now, it was almost impossible to see more than a few meters ahead. The speeders had all stopped, and the wind blew stronger. With that kind of weather, you would probably stay stuck on Alderaan longer than a night. You pushed the thought away though. No need to darken a future so uncertain, you forced yourself to focus on the issue near at hand. You reminded yourself of the old lessons your master had told you, about focusing on the present. You didn't always respect the lessons you had once been taught though. By your side, Obi-Wan's beard was covered with white snowflakes by now, and the sight brought an amused smile to your lips.

You walked inside the hotel a few minutes later, and asked for two rooms at the reception.

Waiting for the employee to check the rooms available, you couldn't help but eavesdrop the conversation between two men behind you in the hall.

"They're Jedi, they won't be hard to spot! Long cloak and lightsaber at their belt, and it's done!"

You and Obi-Wan exchanged a silent glance.

"The reward is huge, there'll be a lot of people on the bait!" the other thug replied.

"We're the first to know about it, we are one step ahead! Come on, let's look for them! We'll check the spaceport first."

You gave Obi-Wan a look that meant 'I told you so' while the two bandits exited the building, and the Master by your side gave you an approbative nod. You had been right to change clothes. And not only because Obi-Wan looked very handsome in these ones…

The employee of the hotel came back, but there was only one bedroom left. You couldn't take the risk to remain out in the open, and you both knew it. So, you took the key with a nod as a thanks, and went off looking for the right room.

In the elevator, Obi-Wan heaved a sigh, and brushed the snowflakes off his beard.

"Looks like we're not the only one stuck here for the night," you pointed out in a conversational tone.

"Indeed." Obi-Wan nodded, still stroking his beard.

"It also means that the men after our… package are still here as well."

"You heard the two geniuses in the hall. They're just the beginning of our trouble."

"We should call Anakin and Ahsoka in reinforcement. They could be an entire army for all we know."

But Obi-Wan shook his head.

"They're busy enough with their own assignment. Besides, if we can't fly off the planet, then they can't fly to the planet either."

"That… is a valid point. But maybe they can reach someone who can help here."

"Or we can handle the situation ourselves. Since when do you think twice about fighting?"

"I don't fight battles I cannot win. Then I avoid them your way."

"Negociating?"

"Running away."

"Ha… very funny…"

He was looking for an ironical tone, but ended up chuckling.

"Besides, with Anakin as a Padawan, falling back is sometimes the only way to avoid having him doing something stupid and ridiculously dangerous," he went on, but you shook your head with amusement.

"Excuses, excuses…"

The door of the elevator opened, leaving you to a sight of a richly decorated corridor, although it seemed a little old-fashioned. You found your room easily, and were not surprised to discover the only bed there.

"I'll take the ground," Obi-Wan spontaneously proposed, but you merely rolled your eyes in answer.

"Don't be ridiculous. For how long have we known each other?"

"Far too long to answer that question."

"With the weather outside, it will get colder in too. You'll freeze without a decent blanket. Don't be ridiculous."

"I was simply being… polite."

You rolled your eyes again, but there was a playful smile on his lips that made you wait for his next tease.

"I heard that you didn't like sharing a room with Master Windu…"

"He snores!" you replied.

"So if I do snore…"

"I will throw you out. Yes. Precisely."

You both held each other's gaze for a moment, serious, but it only lasted an instant. Before long, you both broke into laughter.

"I will wake you up if you snore though," you warned him more seriously, and he merely doubled with laughter.

You didn't like the way his laugh made your heart warm in your chest, as if it turned into a burning star. You didn't like how happy it made you to be near him now. You didn't like how much you trusted him. You felt guilty for it all, and at the same time, not guilty at all. You couldn't see how your feelings for him could be a bad thing, they felt so… right.

You dropped your guilt to the ground, and smiled at him instead. After all, these feelings were far from new. It seemed they had always been with you, for as long as you had known him. And you knew he felt this way as well.

The knowledge that he felt the same came piercing your heart in every happy and painful ways possible. Because the man you loved shared your feelings, but you couldn't be together.

A Jedi's life was a lonely one.

"Right or left side?" Obi-Wan asked, throwing his coat onto the chair and nodding at the bed, tearing you out of your thoughts.

"Right, if you don't mind."

"I don't mind."

You both got ready for bed, and soon, you were both under the warm blanket, lying in the dim light coming through the curtains. The yellowish glimmer of the street lampposts and the houses all around gave a strange atmosphere to the room, soothing and warm and familiar. Obi-Wan could feel the way your weight shaped the mattress, the way it yielded under you, caving in to embrace your shape. He could feel how the blanket wrapped itself around you as well. He wished he could hold you the way the bed embraced you. But he couldn't.

There was a whisper coming from the street, from the humming of the speeders and the distant conversations. It was soothing, so much so that it was already lulling you to sleep. And Obi-Wan could feel it, by the way you rested on the bed, by how your breathing became deeper and deeper. It wasn't very surprising that you would be exhausted, the mission was intense and dangerous. You must have been just as exhausted as he was.

He could feel your hand close to his, just a few centimetres away, and yet unreachable. But at least, you were here.

Obi-Wan relaxed, after being vigilant for so long. He couldn't help it, not while he was lying by your side. Your presence was too soothing for him to stay as tense as he was before. You had always had this way to soothe him, calm him down, which he didn't like at all, because it was terribly unproductive for his work. He needed a certain level of tension through his body to be as aware of his environment as the situation required. But then, you came along, and he was doomed to fail.

He closed his eyes, and focused not on the soft sounds of the street but on your breathing, on the rhythm with which you inhaled and exhaled, and he pictured the air passing your lips in one direction or the other while all tensions left him. The sound was more reassuring than any other sound in the universe. Except for your laughter, perhaps.

He was about to surrender to sleep when your rhythm changed. Becoming a little more erratic, breaths held longer. You let out a little groan.

And then, you snored.

Not too loudly, but enough to be called a snore, and Obi-Wan's awareness focused again, as he smiled at the sound. He forced his stingy eyes to open and he looked at you.

Lips slightly parted, and hair already a mess, you looked so peaceful then. He couldn't stop his mind from thinking beautiful too, and he hated himself for it. He wasn't supposed to feel the way he did for you, the Order held strict rules against it all. And yet, how could his love for you be wrong when it felt so… right.

You snored again, more loudly this time, and after a few minutes, Obi-Wan knew he wouldn't be able to sleep if you kept on snoring all night long.

So, he gently rubbed your shoulder, until the sounds disappeared and your eyes opened.

"Som'ing wrong?" you mumbled with tiredness and sleep distorting your words.

"No, we're safe. You're just snoring."

You rubbed your eyes, chasing sleep away, and frowned.

"Me? Snoring?"

"I bet it was worse than Master Windu…"

"Ha… very funny," you replied in a yawn.

"Sorry to wake you, but…"

"No, no. You did well. Sorry."

You turned to your side, hoping that the change of position would solve the problem. You were facing Obi-Wan, who had turned to his side with you.

You kept on staring at each other for a while, none of you noticing your smiles. It just felt so right to be this close, staring at each other, studying the other to carve their features in your mind so you would never forget them.

A thousand words could have never expressed the way you felt for each other. There was something that ran deep into you that was entirely his, and there was a part of him he treasured that belonged to none but you. It was ineffable, the way you felt for each other, and there was no more certain truth than the knowledge that you would both forever feel this way.

And the words could never be openly spoken, you could never confess your feelings for him, and he could never speak out loud how much he loved you. None of it mattered though. You didn't need to say it all, your eyes spoke better than your tongues then. Or sometimes, some innocent words held more meaning than their mere definition.

"Obi-Wan?"

Your voice wasn't even a whisper, it was just a breath leaving your lungs, delicate and fragile that could have been destroyed by a mere breeze. But in the quiet room, it was more than enough for him to hear.

"Yes, Y/N?" he answered, his tone as soft as yours.

"I just meant to say…"

That I love you more than anything, that I'll never stop loving you. No matter if we are separated by galaxies or death or mere inches, I'll always love you just as ardently and my heart will always be yours.

"It's good to work with you again," was all that passed your smiling lips.

He answered your sad smile by one of his own.

"I just…" you went on, stuttering under his intense blue eyes. "Of all the Jedi in the order, you're the one I trust the most. I know… I know you'll be here for me if I need you."

Your hand rested on the sheet between the two of you, barely inches away from his fingers. And a thousand times before, he had stopped himself from reaching you, and he knew he would stop himself a thousand times more in his lifetime.

But not this time.

This time, his fingers crossed the unreachable distance, to rest upon yours, and you held hands, trying to carry all your love and care for each other through the tender gesture.

But his eyes spoke better, and when he answered, his words meant so much more than what they were supposed to mean.

I love you, Y/N. I always have, and I always will. No matter if we can be together or not, my heart will forever be yours.

It did not matter that he couldn't actually speak his mind nor act the way he longed to, though. It had never mattered, and would never matter. Your love was more than kisses and touches, it was a feeling transcending rules and time and space.

You loved each other, and it was all that mattered. And when he spoke, the promise was meant for him being there for you, but for so much more as well. You knew it, and it was enough.

"Always, Y/N. Always."

 ************************************************************************* 

Tag list : @ponycake27​ @horsesreign​ @xinyourdreamsx​ @jbluevelvet​ @notkeppeki @daynigt-dreamer-stuff @fudgeflyss​ @stuckupstucky​ @snek-shit​ @suchatinyinfinity​ @i-padfootblack-things​  @buckybsarmy @heyohheyitsgabi​@jigsawlover10 @emyyjemyy​ @addictedtofictionalcharacters​ @wangmangagavroche​ @yana-versio​ @goldenor5​

[wangxiandecoded]

Episode 7 (& Wangxian Meta)

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(Spoilers for the whole show ahead!)

The Chosen Ones

Lan Zhan, if this scene foreshadows anything, it’s that he’s certainly going to become a part of your domestic affair.

There is something powerful about the first and only female Lan clan leader giving them her blessing and saying it was destiny that they found their way to her just as she’s about to fade into oblivion. Wangxian are the archetypal Chosen Ones who have been entrusted with keeping the Yin Iron safe. And if this was yet another straight adventure story that delivers poetic justice, we would expect it to conclude with these two people ending up together - and that’s what The Untamed does in a roundabout way with our heroes.

Nothing to see here. Just two guys tripping over each other because the sacred string of fate pulled them towards each other.

Lan Zhan, I’ll Be Your Secret Keeper!

This episode is full of instances where Wei Ying refuses to tell other characters what really happened in the cave, then turns around to look at Lan Zhan with a proud look that screams, “I’m so good at keeping secrets, aren’t I? We are soulmates! Come on, validate me, Lan Zhan!”

The expression on Lan Qiren’s face when Wei Ying calls Lan Zhan his confidant/soulmate. No words are needed. 

The Yin Iron Secret™ is obviously bringing them closer and they begin to share loaded glances that convey everything they wish to say without actually having to. Thus begins the process of everyone third wheeling Wangxian.

Jiang Cheng thinks Wei Ying should move into the Cloud Recesses since he’s hanging out with Lan Zhan all the time. Lan Zhan hears that and appears to be a tad bit disappointed Wei Ying might never actually do that since their lifestyles are leagues apart. It’s tough being Wei Wuxian sometimes.

The Lantern That Started Everything

We are here, folks! The moment that started it all, the scene that defined Wangxian’s story. Once again, Wangxian are framed in contrast with the two straight couples. 

Lan Zhan and Wei Ying are standing together and look at each other while making their wish, just like Yanli x Jin Zixuan, and Jiang Cheng x Wen Qing.

Lan Zhan says he is used to doing it alone and Wei Ying comments old habits can be changed, which just points to the latter’s impact on the former’s life.

Wei Ying has another accomplishment to cross off his list : Finally made Lan Zhan smile today!

Mian Mian asks Yanli why she didn’t make the lantern together with Jin Zixuan, as praying together is a custom followed by couples that are to be married. And that tells you everything you need to know about Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s relationship.   

The first of many times that Lan Zhan rushes in to hold Wei Ying back.

Lan Zhan for a second believed Wei Ying finally learnt his lessons and crossed over to the lawful good side.. but come on, you love him precisely because he would never do that. And those ants are cute.

Jiang Fengmian proposes to cancel the troth between the clans to marry Yanli and Jin Zixuan. It is worth mentioning that Jiang clan’s approach to marriage is to never force their kids into a lifelong relationship they are not sure they want as they believe in “following one’s nature”. When even straight relationships are progressive and value happiness above all else, what is to stop the show from selling us a central gay romance that ends happily? Absolutely nothing.

We’ve now seen both the protagonists reject the romantic idea of spending their life with a woman. 

Missing Lan Zhan Hours Now Open

Wei Ying pouting like.. What do you mean we have to leave already? Lan Zhan literally just started acknowledging me as his soulmate. 

Oh no, Lan Zhan.. Why aren’t you including your soulmate on the super secret plan™?!

Wei Ying’s reason for wanting to say goodbye to only Lan Zhan out of all the disciples is, “Why can’t I admire his talents? You’re all losers who can’t fight me and he is my Match (Made In Heaven), I desire for an equivalence (and a meaningful union between souls.)”

The camera moves from the Yunmeng siblings squabbling to Lan Zhan observing them from a distance. Zewu Jun joins him and comments that after Wei Ying’s departure, Yun Shen will be silent once more. Lan Zhan’s face falls a little, understandably because he was getting more than used to Wei Ying’s chaotic presence in his life.

Zewu Jun is worried if Lan Zhan will be alright on his journey alone and raises the idea if he should tell Wei Ying about his quest. But Lan Zhan, our beloved idiot, still needs that extra push to come to terms with his feelings and realize Wei Ying will instantly drop everything for a lifetime by his side if he were to only say the word.

Rabbits Symbolise The Chinese Gay God

Even before the fandom taught me that the Chinese god of homosexuality is literally The Rabbit God, so the inclusion of rabbits is gloriously queer subtext, I could gather that they symbolised Wangxian’s feelings for each other. They both talk to the rabbits when the other is not there, Wei Ying paints a rabbit lantern for them to wish together, Lan Zhan raised Ah Yuan among these rabbits because they reminded him of Wei Ying and after 16 years, Lan Zhan drunkenly admits he likes rabbits (the equivalent of saying he’s always liked Wei Ying), they buy the rabbit lantern together and finally come back to find these rabbits in Cloud Recesses. The rabbits are a part of the Wangxian family.

The reappearance of the rabbits when Lan Zhan and Wei Ying’s dynamics have changed 16 years later is very telling. Their relationship by then has survived death and the miraculous return from death; it’s gone through the whole cycle of the promise of love, the pain of loss, the joy of redemption. The rabbits bring their life full circle to denote the certainty and comfort in the fact that they have each other after the trials and tribulations their romance has withstood. Wei Ying even says he isn’t scared of what happens anymore in that scene. There is nothing that can separate our heroes after this, they just have to brave whatever comes together.

And then there’s this promo picture and scene from a later episode where two rabbits are kissing.

This is how The Untamed screamed gay rights : “We’re not saying the heroes are gay, but the Yunshen rabbits are definitely gay and no one can do anything about it!” Only, the rabbits are such a huge part of this love story. 

Wangxian’s Promise of Love and Honor

When they make the wish together, Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying with a kind of awe and reverence like, how did I not recognize him from the moment we met? He eyes the pouch containing the Yin metal and realizes they are both more alike than he thought, that this guy is possibly and most definitely his soulmate. This is an important stage in their relationship.

When he hears Wei Ying wish that he wants to eliminate evil and protect the weak in exchange for a life without anything weighing down their hearts - I think it is at this point he begins to see him as more of a life partner with whom he can share everything, than just a friend. Because Wei Ying’s impact on Lan Zhan’s life is so profound it alters his being, tilts his axis and expands his perspective. Wei Ying brought with him a free-spirited, flexible measurement of morality and an ardent quest for truth that no 3000 rules of the Lan clan had ever laid down. He realizes the rules he grew up on are right but Wei Ying, with all his moral complexity, can also be right. Wei Ying’s companionship introduced Lan Zhan to a fluid perception of right and wrong that he found perfectly acceptable. This shows Lan Zhan and Wei Ying belong to the new generation that is here to reform the broken system built by their ancestors. In this moment, by choosing to view him as his unequivocal soulmate, by acknowledging their paths are to be forever intertwined, Lan Zhan liberates his mind from the monochromatic perception of life he was brought up on. By making this wish together, Lan Zhan trusts Wei Ying to always do the right thing from now on and trusts the both of them to lead a life that they are proud of.

He doesn’t know right now that staying committed to this wish is going to demand everything from them in the future, but he does know that Wei Ying is the greatest person he has ever met and the first one who is so compatible with him. And that is a revelation to Lan Zhan because there are easily a million things that set them apart. All the same, he sees his own core values reflected in his soulmate. He decides it couldn’t be the worst thing in this world to stand by Wei Ying’s side especially when he’s doing the most honorable thing they both know to be true. This common ground means something to Lan Zhan, even if we don’t hear him admit that. Because here is Wei Ying telling him he doesn’t need to be alone anymore even though he’s used to it. That he doesn’t have to go through any of it alone as long as he is there: fight for justice, vanquish evil, or even simply go through everyday life. Lan Zhan’s face in this scene is understandably the face of a man who is falling in love.

The promise they make to each other on this cliff was in a way, a promise to follow their own path that ended up operating above the constraints of and reinvented the cultivation world’s jurisdiction. There are going to be many forces trying to convince them it's not the right way, but the path they share, which is both the literal path of justice and their love for each other (they are synonymous, after all) is the one they courageously forge and painfully commit to when their world is unable to go on existing with the faulty principles it was founded on. That is why their romance survives every obstacle in the end. It is founded on a love that runs so deep it recognizes and respects the other in the many lifetimes spent serving their just cause. Their love, and the extents it goes to in order to thrive, is the answer to all the troubles that ail their world. And it all began with this lantern. 

This is why The Untamed is the gay drama and Wangxian are the gay warriors the universe has been waiting for. It staged gay romance in a realm ruled by gentry and the supernatural, giving us equal parts of gore as there is swashbuckling, gut-wrenching drama. Literally never been done before.

In conclusion, Episode 7 deepens the bond between our heroes and sets up the main struggle in their romance as we wait to see what will become of the wish they made together. But one thing is clear : They are bound together forever, not just by their love for each other but also by their common cause. That is why the road they walk on can never be different. It will forever be the single plank road they will always find their way back to.

[marmarparadoxa]

Concerning the Warriors - Reiner, Annie, Bertholdt

“You were still ignorant children...and all of that was beaten into you by ignorant adults. You were just a child. What could you have done to fight that? Your environment. Your history.”

Nowadays, we’re assisting at the global mass-genocide that is exterminating every living being on the planet. This genocide has been determined and chosen by Eren, a single man, out of his personal, adamant convinction that that is the only practicable path.

However, this is not the first time that we’re assisted at something like that. Right from the very start, the Colossus and the Armor Titan, opening a breach in the most external ring of walls in Paradis, led Pure Titans to enters the walls, which resulted in the slaughtering of tons of people living in Wall Maria area. After that, Paradis people faced a severe food crisis, resulting in a further thinning of their population. In other words, what Reiner, Bertolt and Annie have committed, in their mission to retaking the Founder Titan, could easily be described as a partial genocide of Paradis inhabitants. 

However, they were just children (precisely, they were about 11-12 y.o.). Even after discovering the truth about their identity, I don’t truly realized it until their mission was showed from Reiner pov, showing us Marcel’s death, and how they managed to reach the walls from the coast where they have been left by Marley’s army. 

Right from their childhood, they were raised in an oppressive environment, taught about the crimes of the past Eldian empire, led to hate the devils of the island, told that they were nothing like them.

They were trained to be perfect warriors, capable of perpetuating mass murder actions, not only against the devils of Paradis, but also against any other nations with whom Marley had the pleasure of going to war. And they did everything that they were asked to do. They attacked other nations, subdued their populations, increasing the power of Marley empire.

They were still ignorant children, raised and educated by ignorant adults. How could they have done otherwise, in such environmental conditions, given their history? And anyway, they were raised in such conditions, which would have prevented a full understanding of the meaning of their actions, of the cruelty of all the death they brought, right? How could they fight that?

The environment that surrounds you in your life, the “nurture” would affect who you’ll be. No one can escape that, we’re all subjected to this kind of influences, this is just the normalcy for every person. Moreover, that kind of influences is even stronger in your infancy, years when the environmental stimuli have a major impact of human subjects, both in cognitive, both in emotional terms. However, I think that speaking about a deterministic impact, one that would affect you leaving no room for personal thoughts, feelings and resistance, is grossly simplistic. And if we’re speaking about killing people, all in the name of your motherland, there’s no way one can simply cut things like that.

How could the warriors, even if still that young, agree to slaughter mass of people without giving it a thought, just because someone has told them that they’re devils, or that they are their enemies of war? How could someone do something like that without even try to oppose to that, or worse, thinking that all of that is right?

By choosing to become Warriors, and then managing to become one of them, they were allowed to lead a privileged life in Marley’s nation, they were able to improve their own social position and that of their families. We don’t know much about Bertoldt, but Reiner’s case shows us fully the self-serving range of the motivations that he had to do what he did. He never thought about improving the social standing of Eldian people to the eyes of the rest of the world, he has never had great aims in mind. He just wanted to bring happiness to his lonely mother, to live in an happy family. Mostly, he wanted to “save the world”, to be a hero, because he just wanted people to respect him.

And his mother did nothing but encouraged him in pursuing his mission, the mission that Marley has assigned to him. She always encouraged him to become a warrior, strongly believing in Marley’s ideology, and she cried with emotion and pride seeing his sons finally parading on the carriage with the other warriors, ready to go on a mission of genocide of their own contrymen devils on the other side of the sea. What a touching family scene.

And a similar thing has happened to Annie. Her adoptive father raised her forcing her to undergo a rigorous combat training, because he wanted for her to become a warrior, to improve their life conditions. However, he eventually changed his mind. Differently from Reiner’s mother, he recognized that he just wanted from his daughter to return back, and that nor being a warrior and the honors that ensued that, none of it mattered, but Annie coming back alive.

Hence, contrary to Reiner, she doesn’t disguised her motivation under the appearance of noble aspirations, like “becoming a hero” and “saving the world” from the devils.

“They’re all liars, every one of them!! They only ever think about themselves!! And I’m the same!! I need to get back alive!”

She didn’t give a shit about that stuff, she simply admitted the selfishness of her motives. When faced with their mission, she just did all of what was necessary in order to stay alive. She simply went with the flow, without trying to oppose herself against external forces.

Speaking to Marlowe, she also affirms that acting in that way is just what regular people do.

Therefore, she asks Marlowe to think of her just as human.

And then Bertholdt. He has never been the leader of the group, he has never taken the initiative. He has never given the impression of being convinced of the rightfulness of what they were doing, nevertheless, he still opened a breach in the wall, not only once, but twice, in Wall Maria and in Wall Rose. 

However, in RtS arc, these were his last thoughts before turning himself again into the Colossus titan:

“No one’s at fault here...Nothing could have made a difference. Not in a world that is this cruel.” 

So, they could have done nothing to avoid what they have done. They were forced to do all of that, by a so cruel world. There was no way to things to have been different, so no there’s no one to blame.

So, is that true? Is it reasonable to say that Reiner, Bertoldt and Annie acted just as regular people? They didn’t have the possibility to make a difference? Was it only environment and history, and their compelling forces, that obliged them to do what they did?

Of course, there’s no definitive, simple answer. They were actually just children, abandoned on an unknown island, just three kids with an incredible mission. They were raised in an envirnoment which led them to believe that the inhabitants of Paradis were devils, and no one ever contradicted this statement. However, they came to know that island, to know their inhabitants, still, they continued in their mission. In order to rule his sense of guilt, Reiner developed a dissociative disorder, splitting his personality and his memories. In that way, he manages to persevere in their mission, while still continuing to behave like a soldier.  Bertholdt and Annie, on the other hand, had to endure their sense of guilt, and somehow they continued to carry out their duty as warrior. They suffered as well. They had to go against their feelings, causing Marco’s death, in order to keep their secret.

Could they have done otherwise? Wasn’t it just environment and history in play?

I don’t think so. They chose every action that they did. They chose to kill Marco in order to preserve their lives, they chose to open a breach in the walls, causing the death of so many people, and they chose to betray their friends.  Whatever effect does your environment exerts on you, whatever flow tries to drag you, humans have still the possibility to choose (at least, this is what everyone who believes in free will thinks. Otherwise, we’re not more than deterministic machines). This is what defines the human nature, the possibility to choose according to your own judgement, and the responsibility that ensue. Hence, certainly the history, the environment determined the circumstances, but eventually it was just them, and their choices, along with their awful consequences.

Now, they’re fighting together with the Alliance. They have chosen to oppose to Eren, to the mass genocide that he’s perpetuating. It seems that there’s no possibility to fight him, that there’s no possibility to overcome such overwhelming power (according to Eren, the power of a predetermined history). But they have still chosen the most difficult path, the one of opposing to him, and they’re doing that by joining their forces with their prior enemies. They’re not forgetting their precedent sins, and there’s no way to atone for all of what they did. But now they are choosing what to fight for on their own. Now they’re going against history and environment.

[cowandcalf]

10.11. – Review and some musing

Since yesterday I'm thinking about how to start this review. I guess it'll end up being an ode to McDanno. Because let's be honest…still after such a long time, years of being in love, my love for the boys is a blazing fire. They make me sit on the edge of the couch, smiling stupidly, happy with what I witness what's happening between them. They make me sweat and grin and cry and gasp for air.

So, I start with the boys. Honestly, I've never expected season 10 to be so freaking full of McDanno moments. Gosh, I'm still a bit beside myself. For example, the scene in Steve's office. Danny…Danny. This handsome man (and the haircut! This freaking hot Mohawk, gah!!!) gets me twisted in knots because I try to find out what's he's up to. Danny doesn't normally admit to Steve his inner secrets. The way he confessed so openly why he has made up the mold story? Uh-huh. Intense. He shows feelings. Shows how much he was worried about Steve without being ironic and ranting and cutting the air to pieces with his hands. Intense. That what it was. And Steve? Steve takes Danny's confession in stride, kind of shifts on his seat and says he was touched. Steve doesn't really know what he should do with this piece of information even though he’s known it the whole time. It's kind of a load of emotions getting dumped on Steve only to grow in intensity a second later.

The bonsai comment? So not Danny-like, at least, not to the Danny I'm used to. He admits just openly that he's started that hobby for therapeutic reasons, telling there that he's not okay, that he's needed some support, some help from the shrink-corner and that's new. Did he visit a therapist? A psychologist? Does he still have sessions? Steve didn't ask any of this but the questions hang in the air. Danny, being just Danny, tells him of course, he doesn't normally inform everyone that he has a bonsai but he's just said it to Steve. So, he wants Steve to know and he even takes his miniature tree to Steve's house where he’s gong to trim this little precious tree with the special clipper doing this with a steaming cup of coffee beside him on Steve’s table only dressed in a flimsy shirt and old boxer shorts and Steve forgets how to breathe and decides to wear only sweat pants made of heavy cotton farbric. Not so easy to stretch. So, many hidden signs.

And what's with the burst pipe full of sewage? Yak, that's something traumatic when that happens, meaning Danny’s house was flooded with that stuff, ugh. At least, the bathroom and normally Danny would freak out, ranting, complaining, telling everyone how he's drawn the short straw from life. But none of this is happening. Danny smiles when he explains how the shit-smell has chased him out of his own home and he seeks refuge…at Steve's house. I'm sure he just made that story up, too and Steve knows this but still. Six to eight weeks! That's a long time and they haven't even mentioned where Danny would sleep. Maybe with Grace gone and Charlie growing older Danny feels lonesome and needs company.

But I can't get over Danny's sweet smile. The smile where he's asking Steve to let him crash at his place. It's a smile where one couldn't hide effectively enough the crush, they have one the one person that stands right in front of them. It's a sweet, tender, meaningful smile, uncommonly in Danny's repertoire to make faces. It's a gentle, genuine smile and it's connected to the stay at Steve's place. And normally Danny is the one who's annoyed and not Steve. Somehow the tables have turned and Danny tries to coax Steve into doing something Steve's not so fond of just for the fun of teasing Danny. Steve plays the annoyed one very well and all he can come up with are used towels. Ha!

Danny pushes boundaries twice in a short amount of time. He barges in Steve's door the first time without telling or calling or asking if it's okay with Steve. Now, just the same. He packs his bags and even takes his bonsai with him, stores his luggage in the office for Steve to see because Danny knows already Steve won't say no. So, what has Danny in mind? Living together for about two months? Jesus! I love this scene. It reveals Danny's softer side, an unexpected side. He wants to be with Steve that's a fact. And Steve lets him. I'm really curious about what's going on. Guys!!!! Ahhhh!

And the helicopter scene! That's another great McDanno moment. First, Danny jokes about animals although he loves animals. But he teases Steve about the gooses. And Steve comes up with the helicopter ride and doesn't even ask Danny if he's okay with it. He knows very well that Danny hates to fly with him. And oh, surprise! Danny goes! He jokes about the wild goose chase and Tani rolls her eyes at the boys! But Danny doesn’t scream and digs his heels in the ground just for the reason to show how much he doesn't want to be with Steve in a freaking helicopter, in the air!! Nope, he just went after Steve again with this mysterious smile.

As for the record, I…god…I loved seeing them paired up again, chasing bad guys, like in the old days. Time changes things, I get that but it was a great moment. And guess what. Steve is super correct and knows all the rules and is the pilot of the helicopter and yet he lets Danny use his cell although is highly prohibited and against the rules. But he lets Danny be. And Danny gives two shits about rules because they're in a no-fly zone because of gooses so no rules. And that's heavily teasing and an odd flirting with Steve. He dares him and Steve goes with it as always.

And I love that Steve still trusts Danny with all he's got. The Adam case bothers him and he leaves it to Danny to get through to his rogue team member. But Steve can't deny himself the comment if Danny can manage secrecy and Danny only lifts an eyebrow, tilting his head and quips a nice answer in return. Not offended in the slightest. That's really new and I freaking love it. Danny is much more relaxed and that rises my interest.

The guys going to live together for a longer time. That's going to be interesting and my heart whispers already poems of love…mm-hmm.

The half-season finale was just as good, as fantastic as every episode from season 10. I'm so in love. There's something thrilling about this season. It's heavy on the feels. The unexpected McDanno moments throw me. It's overwhelming. The cases are interesting and I never forget that it just a show and things might be bent a bit until they fit. Yes, they mess up timelines and don't follow up often on loose ends. I don't really dwell on those moments. I take what I get and I tend to extract the best moments for me. These 42 minutes and something always fills me with a giddy joy. I'm still enjoying every moment. It's still a wild ride and every episode leaves me with a lot to think about.

Lou is surprisingly fun. He's the one I struggle with the most. He's often over the top but so far, his scenes are filled with quip, pulling faces while discussing important leads, adding a lot of solid ohana-feelings and deep-rooted devotion to the team. This season Lou kind of grows on me. He's good people when he's not losing himself in some stupid, senseless explanation about how to dip malasadas in coffee or how to be a respected young man, or some stories about the good ol' days in Chicago.

The team has grown together. Tani fills her shoes and she walks tall. She's badass, proud, unwavering and would make Kono proud. She's full of admiration for Steve with the needed respect. But she's also the one who kind of sees the private person behind Steve the boss-man. She's caring and she's not afraid to show it. She loves Steve deeply, like a sister. She also breeches with ease Steve's professional persona. She expresses feelings and thoughts that have Steve gulp because it's so honest and straightforward and I love that.

Junior… man, this guy captured my heart. He's great. He's Earth where Steve's Air. They match as perfect Brothers. I'm always calm knowing Steve's not totally detached from his former, very important life as a SEAL. Junior watches out for him. Always, everywhere. He's grown a fantastic backbone and I'll never get tired of watching him morphing into a SEAL. He becomes a brother and a teammate for Steve. My heart still skips a few beats remembering the scene where they freed Joe White and Steve ordered him to stay behind, to not get entangled with the danger. And Junior's answer came sharply and precisely like a shot. "Today I'm a Seal and you're not my boss. We're a team and I'm coming with you." He said it with such confidence it blew me away. And it took Steve one second to recognize Junior as his brother. Junior is Steve's younger brother and he's always all in or nothing. I love his courage and the tender, shy side he always shows together with Tani. I love this boy and he's a good company for Steve. Keeps him sane.

Adam…Adam. Yeah, there's a lot going on. The way he laid down his gun and the badge was dramatic. I'm not sure yet what to think of that. I have always liked Adam. He fits into the team although he has never undergone any police training. He's born and bred Yakuza got taught from his father, a big name in that world. He should have had the courage to just tell Steve that things went wrong and he has to quit the team. That would have been the right thing to do.

The way he did hide information to safe his girlfriend was okay for me. Steve would have done the same, Lou and also Danny were already in such a situation and they just did what had to be done without informing anyone. But with Adam things went sideways and he went rogue, also emotionally and friendship-wise. After everything was settled he should have gone to Steve and get things out of the way. Steve would have understood. There, I don’t get Adam’s intentions.

Quitting the team like that? The worst imaginable way for Steve. You don't just quit the team and that's an emotional blow for Steve just because Steve cares for every single member on his team. But as I see it, Adam's world shifted when he lost Kono. Being an important member of the Yakuza makes you a slave, for a lifetime. You never can get out. So, they say. No freaking chance. Adam's history proves that. He killed his brother. He tried to be an honest businessman only to realize his past bites him in the ass. He ran away and tried to start a new life with Kono only to lose Kono to her obsession with a case that grew out of hand. Adam loves with all he's got. He has found new love with an old friend, unsurprisingly a daughter of a Yakuza boss. Adam grew up with all those people and now he's back in this energy. He knows the game. He's found a new woman and he loves again. For a man like Adam, he will do everything in his power to protect his woman. He won't lose again a woman he loves.

And his move to quit the team is about the woman he now loves. He has to stay close, by her side. Maybe he realized he only can really play one tune, only be fully immersed in one game, being on the Yakuza team. He betrays Five-O but as it seems Adam has reached a crossroad and his decision is made when he sits down at the head of a big table with other members of Tamiko's family and members of her father's clan.

Quinn…she wasn't in the episode and with some shame I have to admit I didn't even realize it. Not until someone pointed out that Quinn was missing. God, that's so horrible of me. She's a great team member but I seem to have a blind spot for her on the team. She doesn't leave an imprint. I can't tell you why. It's just…she's there and it's really good and she isn't and I don't miss her.

And the cliffhanger! Wo Fat is back. His name at least and seeing Steve's face when he spits his name revealed how much it pains him to just spell it. I think Steve might still have nightmares over what he had to undergo getting tortured, getting to hear dark, poisonous secrets his mother designed and everything came back to haunt Steve never to be really free of that massive emotional trauma. And now his nemesis is back in the form of Wo Fat's former wife. Just as cruel, brutal and cold-hearted as her husband. A killer seeking revenge with the deep wish to get to Steve.

Wow!

Season 10…ten points out of ten!

[sparklyjojos]

THE SAIMON FAMILY CASE recaps [6/13]

In which we finally talk about the case and meet the rest of the giant family.

--

After the evening show, Ajiro and Kirigirisu join the staff in the restricted area. Tensui spots them, gives them a warning look—not where others can hear—and nods towards his beautiful assistant to attend to them for now. The assistant is still in her Koyomi costume and make-up, and even her smile is the same as on-stage, apparently genuine rather than faked. Her beauty gives off a mysterious impression among the darkness filled with snow. Ajiro introduces her: she’s Tensui’s wife, Saimon Miku. Although Kirigirisu has already been told Tensui was married, he hasn’t even considered that this woman in her late twenties could be the 50-year-old magician’s wife. Miku asks them to wait for Tensui in their trailer house.

The trailer house is surprisingly spacious and well-furnished: a table by a comfortable couch, a small kitchen, a couple doors that probably lead to a bathroom and some sort of a closet. Two cups of freshly brewed, delicious hot coffee are already waiting for them on the table. Who prepared them is yet another mystery, seeing as Ajiro and Kirigirisu seem to be the only people inside and didn’t spot anyone leaving.

“Magicians love playing jokes on their guests,” Ajiro explains. “They can pull any stunt as long as it gives others the sense of surprise and wonder. You know, most people eventually get fed up with constant surprises, but it looks like you still feel mostly awe and respect. Though a spectator, you already have the makings of a splendid magician. All the greats of the magical world have to be crying from joy right now.”

Kirigirisu is lost deep in thought. Maybe being easily surprised by everything isn’t so bad after all. Clueless about the world after losing all his memories, Kirigirisu has always seemed to himself and others like a naive child in an adult’s body, but maybe it is precisely this naivety—or rather, this innocence? genuinity?—that makes him inclined towards magic.

They talk about Miku and Tensui. Miku really is a strikingly beautiful woman, in a much different way than the gentle, kind Kano will always be beautiful for Kirigirisu.

“Unlike Tensui, Gensui is a bachelor,” Ajiro states, which makes Kirigirisu a bit confused for a second; he got so used to thinking that Gensui is also Soga Tensui that he almost forgot the actual Tensui is his own person.

“Uh… so is the man we’ve just seen outside Tensui or Gensui?”

“I don’t know. That’s how perfect their act is. It seems even Miku wouldn’t be able to differentiate between them at a glance, though you can tell which brother you’re facing once he says something. That’s why the magician Soga Tensui never speaks in front of others.”

Kirigirisu looks through the window at where the performers are still gathered discussing something. Tensui really is keeping silent at all times. Close to him, still in her little Koyomi costume, a young girl is standing—and staring back directly at Kirigirisu. Well, obviously the bright window of the trailer house would catch anyone’s attention in the dark evening… but for some reason the girl’s intense stare makes Kirigirisu startle, and her smile leaves a deep impression.

Kirigirisu breaks this strange moment to answer Ajiro’s question about whether he figured out the show’s many secrets. He shares his theories. Though he can’t even start to explain some of the illusions, and several of his musings are likely absurd, Ajiro listens to everything with the same seriousness. It feels just like all those times they exchanged theories about a particularly difficult case. In the end, it seems like Ajiro came up with very similar observations as Kirigirisu. 

“I myself can’t be sure whether these theories are right,” Ajiro says. “Unlike many widely exposed tricks, the original illusions created by the Circus aren’t taught to outsiders. All we have are unconfirmed theories. However, I am still sure that if we eliminate all the impossible options, whatever remains must be the truth.”

Kirigirisu can’t help but be surprised that even Ajiro isn’t able to figure out everything about the show; he has always seemed an unstoppable titan of intellect, he can figure out so many illusions on his own...

“It’s not the difference in our reasoning abilities that matters here, Kirigirisu. I simply know a few more methods used in magic. No matter how smart a detective is, he still won’t figure out an illusion if he doesn’t know the principles behind it. When Tensui and Gensui go all out, not even I can unravel their methods. Isn’t that right, Gensui?”

Kirigirisu freezes, then whips his head around, trying to spot anyone. Then—

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” comes Gensui’s voice as he emerges from behind the closet door right next to the couch, making Kirigirisu scream. “Aw, you really are one awful man, Souji. You knew I was here and still didn’t tell him.”

“Y-you knew?” Kirigirisu looks between them in shock.

“There were two cups of freshly brewed coffee waiting for us when we came in,” Ajiro points out. “That mystery really could only have one solution.”

“But usually not even a promising magician like Kirigirisu would think of it immediately,” Gensui counters. “If all the spectators were like you, Souji, we’d be out of a job. Kirigirisu, I’m sorry for surprising you once more. As for my eavesdropping, I don’t intend to make excuses. The truth is, I wished to hear your honest thoughts about the show.”

“And you were counting on me to pull everything out of him?” Ajiro smiles.

“I have full trust in you, Souji. I knew you would never betray my expectations. Kirigirisu, the theories you devised were quite correct. You’ve successfully proven your talent both as a detective and as a magician.”

Kirigirisu stumbles over words trying to express gratitude, only to be stunned into silence when Miku enters the trailer house followed by another person.

Elegantly swept-back hair, a thin Kaiser moustache, the imposing dignity of an emperor even in a black diving suit with a warm robe thrown on top—the real Soga Tensui is here.

--

“We’re sorry to have kept you waiting,” Miku says.

Tensui only gives them a quiet nod. Even now he’s keeping silent, his expression completely serious in contrast to his brother’s smile.

“My name is Kirigirisu Tarou,” Kirigirisu introduces himself nervously. “It is so nice to meet you…”

“Why are you saying nice to meet you?” Gensui interrupts. “You’ve already met the magician Soga Tensui before, haven’t you?”

“Oh… oh, right. I’m sorry. I will be more careful in the future.”

The plan is that Gensui will tell them the details about the case while Miku is getting them back home. Ajiro is a bit concerned about her being too tired after the show to drive, but she assures them it’s fine; it’s just an hour drive from Yamaguchi to Tsuwano. As an aside, it seems that when talking about the brothers in front of other people, Miku uses the name “Tensui” towards Gensui, and talks about the actual Tensui as of her “husband”. This little trick keeps the secret safe while still letting those in the know differentiate which brother she means.

“Usually we let a staff member drive,” Gensui says. “My brother and I have countless methods of hiding from them. However, it’s best not to involve the staff in any discussions about the case. We’ll be taking our leave before the rest of the troupe.”

Miku starts to drive home with Tensui in the passenger seat. Gensui brings out a small basket of sandwiches that Miku prepared earlier.

“I can’t guarantee they will taste good, but please, help yourselves,” Gensui says pouring them more coffee. It seems like he’s just performing the typical Japanese humility act where you put down your own family to come off as more humble… but as soon as Kirigirisu bites into a sandwich, he realizes Gensui’s line was a honest warning. It’s not that the food tastes bad or good, it’s just… strange. Unbalanced? Something. Is Miku simply a bad cook? For some reason, Kirigirisu thinks that it’s a strange flaw for her to have. Doesn’t fit her image at all. Very strange, he continues to marvel as he wolfs the sandwiches down.

The conversation finally shifts to the case.

Three mysterious deaths have taken place so far. The first to pass away was Saimon Tamako, who seems to have died of old age on September 19th—the day of her 99th birthday—during the great celebration that about a hundred people attended, Ajiro and his wife among them. The doctor who confirmed Tamako’s death didn’t notice anything unusual, especially considering that her health had already been worsening for about three months at that point. What’s remarkable is that around the moment of Tamako’s death all the lights went out, and once they turned back on, the previously red-and-white decorative curtain was now black-and-white, as if announcing the death.

A month later, on October 19th, Tamako’s daughter Akiko (65) suddenly collapsed while sewing props for a ball juggling routine. Still conscious, she called the rest of the family for help and was taken to the hospital, where a CT scan revealed a five-centimeter-long needle stuck in her chest. Her heart stopped on the way to another hospital. The death was ruled an unlucky accident; Akiko must have accidentally worn a piece of clothing that had the needle left inside, and some sudden move or impact forced it into her chest from the side. Perhaps she attempted to juggle the material balls she was sewing, which were found scattered on the scene of the accident.

The third death was the most mystifying. On November 18th, Saimon Yuuta (21) told the rest of the family: “Let’s all go together to the Tottori Sand Dunes tomorrow, I’ve got something interesting to show you”. He disappeared soon afterwards. The family had a bad feeling that a third tragedy in a row could occur on the 19th day of the month, so they headed to the Tottori Sand Dunes, about 200 kilometers away from Tsuwano, and spent the entire night searching for Yuuta. The next day rope was found sticking out of the famous horse-back dune, Umanose. When two strong tourists pulled on it, they unearthed what looked like a giant playing card—four of diamonds—and Yuuta’s body tied to it. Further digging revealed an equally giant empty card deck box connected to the card with the rope.

Everyone’s immediate thought was that Yuuta had been murdered, but his death was tentatively ruled as a bizarre accident or suicide. A young couple who visited the dunes at around 2 AM claimed they had witnessed a man, most likely Yuuta, digging out a hole and putting a big rectangular thing inside. There was no one else around at the moment. Seeing a strange man doing something suspicious the couple ran away in fear.

One theory is that Yuuta was trying to set up an illusion where he would pull out the giant card from the deck, but he fell (jumped?) into the hole he himself had dug out, causing the rope to get tangled around his neck and hang him. The fact that no Yoshikawa lines were found on the body (i.e. the victim didn’t seem to claw at his neck) may point to suicide, but the situation is still unclear and a murder might have taken place.

“And you want us to check if all those deaths aren’t actually murders,” Ajiro sums up.

“Exactly. I have questions I want you to answer.“

“If I may ask…” Kirigirisu interrupts. “Do you mean you are the client requesting our help, Gensui? Or… are you speaking as Soga Tensui right now?”

“The request comes from both me and my brother. Which means that when you’re talking about it in front of outsiders, your client is the one and only Soga Tensui. Back to the point… the questions that concern me pertain to the curtain change and Yuuta’s movements. Kirigirisu, in order for you to understand what problem I have with that first point, I need to tell you the method behind a similar curtain change in the show.”

Gensui produces a red-and-white piece of silk out of thin air (or rather, as Kirigirisu now understands, from where he had it palmed). It looks normal enough, but when Gensui strokes it expertly, the red color changes to black. The secret is so simple that even Kirigirisu can guess it once he gets the silk handed to him: what seems like a handkerchief is actually a reversible little bag. Turning it inside-out changes the colors displayed on the surface. A spectator won’t be able to guess the secret as long as the magician’s hand covers the bag’s opening.

“The curtain in the show doesn’t work the exact same way, but it’s similar enough,” Gensui explains. “It’s like a ring made of two curtains in different colors, connected on the top and the bottom, one side displayed to the audience and one hidden behind. Which side is visible can be changed by pulling on the material. It would take too long to change it manually, so in the show we use a system of dropping weights attached to the curtain with ropes. The thing is… when I checked the decorated stage the night before that birthday celebration, the curtain was just a normal piece of red-and-white fabric. Someone must have taken the show curtain out of our storage and switched it before the event. Both the storage and the stage were locked during the night, although anyone from our family could have accessed the keys, or perhaps an outsider picked the locks.”

“I don’t think anyone from the family or close friends would do it,” Ajiro says. “Everyone was sitting in the audience during the celebration, so they wouldn’t be able to turn off the lights, drop the curtain weights and turn the lights back on. Unless they had help from outside, that is.”

“That’s where my confusion comes from. There must be someone who switched the curtains and I want you to find them. My other question has to do with how Yuuta was able to get to Tottori Sand Dunes. It’s possible to get there by a train, but not a single station employee saw him. Besides, Yuuta disappeared around 10 PM. He wouldn’t be able to get to Tottori by 2 AM, which was when the witnesses saw a man digging.”

“It takes six hours to travel between Tsuwano and Tottori by train,” Ajiro adds. “He could have made it in time if he used a car, perhaps one of the trailer houses.”

“But none of our cars were moved, the last bus had long departed at the time, no taxi driver has seen Yuuta, and it would be hard to hitchhike in the middle of the night. The only explanation possible is that someone either borrowed him their car or gave him a ride to Tottori.”

“Again with that mysterious someone,” Ajiro mutters. “Someone whose identity and motives we will have to investigate in order to decide if the case really is serial murder.”

Nihon Tantei Club has never before seen such a mystifying case, that is for sure.

“Ah, we’re almost there,” Gensui notices looking out the window.

“Won’t it be bad if someone sees you two through the window?” Kirigirisu worries.

“Thank you for your concern, but I don’t see a problem. I’m the only Soga Tensui around.”

Kirigirisu glances towards the passenger seat and realizes it’s empty. Tensui must have hidden somewhere when they were busy talking.

--

The Saimon residence is located in the heart of Tsuwano, near a small church at the end of the famous Tonomachi street filled with traditional samurai residences. Miku leads the detectives through a small bridge over a canal and through the main gate, which is decorated for the wake. The house is a splendid mansion with the ceilings set low. It was renovated many times since its establishment back in the Kamakura period.

Ajiro's wife Mizuki arrived before them, so they head to meet her in the parlor. Mizuki as always is kind; Kirigirisu can feel that calm and warm familiarity emanating from her. She’s already wearing her mourning clothes and asks them to change too. She’s not just here because of their friendship with the Saimons; before she married, Mizuki worked in her family’s funeral home, and even now helps their affiliate organize the wake.

About a hundred people gather to attend the wake. The family members approach the coffin in small groups in order to offer incense. Ajiro tells Kirigirisu to just observe everyone for now, so he can explain who they all are later.

[Better bring out your copy of the Saimon Family Tree to prepare for that, everyone. We’ll be going through a lot of people in a very short time.]

The family members look as follows:

— A marriage in their forties accompanied by a bawling teenage girl. Yuuta’s parents and sister. Kirigirisu recognizes the sister as one of the three girls he saw performing with a smile just hours ago.

— A quiet man who seems to be Yuuta’s uncle, along with his wife and two crying teenage daughters. These two mourning girls are the rest of the show’s happy energetic trio.

— Tensui and Miku, together with two identical twin boys that have to be their children. One of the twins played Kotensui in the show, but they are so similar Kirigirisu isn’t able to tell which one it was. They look even smaller without Kotensui’s costume on; they can’t be older than Ajiro’s son Souya, and it’s hard to believe one (both?) of them could perform acrobatics. [If I counted correctly, they’ve just barely turned four last month. Talk about starting young.] When looking at their faces, Kirigirisu for some reason feels a little faint. These two look almost too pretty in a way, like little angels, probably having inherited Miku’s mysterious charm.

— A short old man around seventy years of age, his eyes sharp, his entire demeanor suggesting he’s not just some random ordinary person. In that way he reminds Kirigirisu of Ajiro’s grandfather Soujin.

 — In a stark contrast to the old man, a pair of a middle-aged father and adult son who are solidly built and nearly two meters tall, bringing to mind two walking mountains.

— Another man, a bit smaller than the walking mountain, but still built like a tree trunk. He’s followed by a woman of enchanting beauty; if Miku’s looks can be described as “mysterious”, this woman would be “dangerous”. The pair is accompanied by their college-aged son who looks like a miniature of his father.

 — A woman in her early thirties with a supermodel figure. Judging by the order in which they appeared, she, the walking mountain man, and the tree trunk man are probably all children of that important old man from earlier. The women is followed by her two kids: a teenage son and the girl who played Koyomi.

— Next, a woman who for some reason seems familiar to Kirigirisu (was she playing someone in the show?), and her high school age daughter.

— A man with glasses looking like your typical bank worker, along with his high-strung grade schooler son.

— A seemingly unemotional hunchbacked man in his forties together with his younger wife, who looks so astonishingly similar to Mizuki that Kirigirisu has to make sure Ajiro’s wife is still sitting next to him. The two could very well be twins. The mysterious woman is holding hands with a 3- or 4-year-old girl, while the man holds another baby daughter in his arms.

— The last member of the family: a man in his late twenties whose eyes still have that boyish gleam in them, who simultaneously seems to radiate peace and safety.

It’s not hard to notice that many members of the Saimon family are strangely, almost unnaturally beautiful, to the point that Kirigiru’s head is spinning. Has he accidentally walked in on a Miss Funeral contest or what? The strange beauty doesn’t pertain just to women; even the unemotional or stern looking men are still handsome, and just remembering those two twin boys is enough to give him goosebumps.

--

Afterwards, Mizuki has to go help with other preparations, so the two detectives head to their designated room, where Ajiro explains the family’s long history.

Seven hundred years ago, in the Kamakura period, Yoshimi Yoriyuki established the Tsuwano Castle and the castle town. The Saimon family started by Saimon Genki has lived there ever since, even serving as chief ministers, which resulted in them accruing significant wealth and influence. During the Meiji period, the Saimons established deep relations with two families—Tsukumo and Tousen—who had a zaibatsu (a business conglomerate) controlling newly created silver mines. In order to show their friendship, three representatives of the families changed their names to feature the same kanji of tai: Saimon Taishin, Tsukumo Taigen, and Tousen Taikun. Those three rich men each married one of the three Tamakos, women with mysterious pasts who had been travelling all over Japan with a performance group. Soon, the Soga Tenju troupe was established.

From this moment Ajiro’s story switches to include quite lot of names, to the point that Kirigirisu has to get his notebook and write things down.

The three families kept their close connections, often intermarrying to the point they could well be defined as one giant family nowadays. Each Tamako gave birth to a daughter in the same year 1912: Tsukumo Haruko, Tousen Natsuko, Saimon Akiko.

Note that Tsukumo Tamako had two more children (Gentarou and Shougen) with Tsukumo Taigen, then married Saimon Hisayoshi (Saimon Taishin’s younger brother) and had one more child, Mitama. It’d be awkward to refer to two different women as Saimon Tamako, so everyone kept calling her Lady Tsukumo.

Akiko and Gentarou married, had three sons—Taishi, Akio and Takayoshi—and the “main family” was descended from them, now consisting of eight living members.

Taishi and his wife Yurine (who was born Tousen) are the grieving parents who we saw at their son Yuuta’s wake. Their teenage daughter is called Akiko, which is pronounced the same as her grandmother’s name, but written a bit differently. It’s hard to recognize him without makeup, but Taishi, the grief-struck father, is the very same mohawk clown that performed comedic magic for the audience’s amusement just hours ago.

The afro clown was played by Taishi’s younger brother Akio, that quiet contemplative man. Perhaps this natural peace seeped into his role a bit, making the afro clown less dramatic than his companion. His wife Chinami (born Tousen) played one of the Courtisanes, Nami Dayuu. Their two daughters, Chiaki and Chisato, were two thirds of the girl trio.

The last son of Akiko and Gentarou, Takayoshi, didn’t show up at the wake. Apparently he left home long time ago after a conflict with Taishi and now travels all around Japan performing street magic for a living. No one has been able to get in touch with him for a long while.

That was the entire main part of the family, which means that Tensui’s immediate relatives are all a part of the branch family. This includes Gensui (Suigetsu), Tensui (Ryuusui), Tensui’s wife Miku, and those mysterious twin boys, Juku and Joukei. [I know Juku’s name should be romanized as Juuku for consistency’s sake, but I’m just too used to calling him Juku at this point. Sorry.]

The family actually has two big residences. The one we’re in right now is called Kami-Saimon (“upper Saimon”) and only the main part of the family lives in it. The rest of the family and relatives occupies a house further down the river, Shimo-Saimon (“lower Saimon”), where all the prop storages and the like are located.

...or at least that’s how it all looked like until recently. The (no longer alive) head of the main family Saimon Tamako seemed to favoritize Tensui a lot, which resulted in him and his closest ones also being able to live in Kami-Saimon. Needless to say, Taishi detested not being chosen as the leader of the troupe despite being from the main family. They’re still in a conflict with Tensui over that.

To explain where the branch family came from, let’s move back to explaining the giant family tree. Late Tamako’s husband, Saimon Taishin, had a younger brother called Takezou. Takezou fathered two children, Juuzou (Tensui’s father) and Kyuuzou. Kyuuzou married the boss of the yakuza family Fujita, took on her name, and became the boss himself (though he has retired since). Kyuuzou was that short old man at the wake, and it’s now clear why he carried himself like the most important person around.

The two men who brought to mind walking mountains were Kyuuzou’s son Daisen and grandson Daisetsu. Daisen is a widower and works in a “respectable occupation” (i.e. is not a gangster).

The man big like a tree trunk is Kyuuzou’s second son, Hyousen. Hyousen is the current boss of Fujita-gumi, and his wife Shima (that dangerous-looking woman) is also involved in it. Their college-age son is called Hyousai.

The last of Kyuuzou’s three children is the tall woman with supermodel figure, Maki. She was once married to Tousen Yomi, who unfortunately died very young, leaving behind their two children: an intelligent teenage boy Matoki and a younger girl Yomiko. As it turns out, “Koyomi” is simply an anagram of the girl’s actual name.

Now let us back up a bit, because we haven’t talked about Tsukumo Tamako’s other kids. Her second child, Tsukumo Shougen, had a son Genya. Genya married Karan (born Tousen) and had a daughter Seika with her. Karan plays one of the Courtisanes, Hana Dayuu, and while her daughter didn’t show up in today’s show, she had performed quite a few times before.

Tsukumo Tamako’s last child, the one she had in her second marriage with Saimon Hisayoshi, is a daughter called Mitama. Mitama went on to marry Tsukumo Gensui—not to be confused with the Gensui we know; this one is Tsukumo Taigen’s younger brother. It was this Gensui, stage name Soga Tengen, who lead the troupe after Saimon Tamako, but an accident left him bedridden for the rest of his life. Tsukumo Mitama didn’t attend the wake because she had to take care of her husband and elderly mother.

Tengen and Mitama have four children, in order of birth:

— Tsukumo Tsushima, the bank teller looking man. His nervous son is Touji.

— Tsukumo Souma, the hunchbacked emotionless man. His wife that looks similar to Mizuki is called Yumeji (born Tousen). The couple has two small daughters, older Emu and younger Nemu.

— Tsukumo Ranma, the man in his twenties whose eyes are still filled with sincerity of a child. He’s the only unmarried person among the four siblings.

— Saimon Miku, Tensui’s wife.

Finally, we should mention that Tousen Natsuko also didn’t attend the wake, as she was taking care of her mother Tousen Tamako.

To sum up, there are 36 members of the family still alive: 13 Saimons, 12 Tsukumos, 5 Tousens and 6 Fujitas.

Unsurprisingly, it takes Kirigirisu a LONG time of re-reading his notes to make sense of the entire family structure.

“When you consider everything I just told you,” Ajiro says, “there are only three people who weren’t sitting in the auditorium during the birthday celebration and who could bring Yuuta to Tottori without others noticing their absence. One is Saimon Takayoshi, who left home long ago. Two is an unknown helper from outside, following orders of someone from the family. And three...”

Ajiro falls completely quiet in mid-sentence. Kirigirisu slowly finishes the thought. 

“Three… is Soga Tensui.”

--

[>>>NEXT PART>>>]

[teamoliv-archive]

Story Scene

Team OLIV: The Red Arena Part 1: Atlas Academy Episode 3: Celebration

Previous Scene << CURRENT >> Next Scene

“Woah!” The sights of the upper ends of Atlas were a bit overwhelming to Violet. She’d seen the kingdom, of course, going to and from the academy from her home in Mantle, but seeing the districts that made up the wealthier parts were something else entirely. It came as a shock to both her and Lapis that their team leader, who up until this point had felt largely transactional in his social dealings, had put up the costs of their celebration.

Lapis was less sure about Cheshire’s surprise generosity. It could be he was trying to buy their goodwill for the coming time they were going to be forced to spend at the academy- but that wasn’t going to make Lapis respect his team leader any more than he already did, which was little. If anything this made it worse. Still, he couldn’t help but eye the occasional flashing lights and signs for movies and flashy products- things he’d never even come close to experiencing back home.

“Relax, you guys!” Ivory reassures, staying at the rear of the group. She was the only one who insisted on bringing her weapon with her and wore it folded up at her hip openly. The massive ax/rifle combo still went down past her knee even when compacted. “Onyx already said we’re taking care of today. Between you and me, I think he’s just trying to show off. Come on, what do we want to do first?”

Violet only looked more nervous about the prospect of the day being entirely on her team leader’s dime, regardless of how wealthy he was. She was only growing more anxious and began stopping more often and spinning her head one way or the other. “Th-This might be too much. I don’t think I’d be... comfortable, accepting that. Can we maybe go to a different area? I know Mantle pretty well. We can look around there.”

Onyx gave his team a sneer and rolled his eyes dismissively. “Mantle is a foregone shadow with little to offer. If you’re going to be part of my team I refuse to let our celebrations be second-rate. I already said I was paying, please, don’t worry yourself over that. It’s honestly a little insulting to turn down this level of generosity, wouldn’t you say?”

Violet stopped walking and glared back at Onyx for his comments. It was exactly that kind of snobbish, self-important attitude that kept the people who literally lived in Atlas’s shadow in squalor. It was something she knew all too well. She felt her stomach churn in hunger and clenched her teeth tightly. She had long since taught herself to ignore it. The academy doctor had insisted that was why she was so small, but she didn’t care right now.

Ivory turned to face Violet when her audible hunger broke the tension. “Are you alright?” She asks, starting to glance around for nearby restaurants.

“I’ll be okay,” Violet insisted. She wasn’t about to give in to Onyx’s taunting now that he had drawn his line about what was ‘acceptable’ to visit as a team. If she had to skip dinner to make her point, she was more than willing to. Then she saw the shadow of her team partner start to loom. She looked up in confusion. “Uh.... Lapis?” Lapis’s usual stony and distant demeanor was showing cracks of concern. It reminded her frustratingly of the look her older brother would give her when they were younger.

“No.” He says in a softer tone than usual. “If you two are drawing lines, then so am I. No one’s starving themselves to make a point. Cheshire, where’s the nearest place to eat?” Unlike the rest of the team, Lapis had taken to using the military formal last-name-basis to refer to his teammates. It was something Onyx had been teasing him with by only referring to Lapis by his last name as well since their trip up to Atlas started.

“I’m glad someone’s in agreement. Most places here would require a reservation. I took the liberty of securing one a while ago but they aren’t expecting us for another two hours. I had expected that we would-”

“Then cancel it and let’s go somewhere else.” Lapis interrupted. “There has to be one of those walk in, walk out food in five minutes places around here, right?”

“You mean fast food.” Ivory corrects, “How about this? We go get something quick for now, then figure out what to do later. We’ll save room for the actual meal later.”

“I’d really rather not be here. Somewhere else. Anywhere else.” Violet protests, “Besides, don’t we need supplies, too?”

“Oh very well.... We will eat first and get supplies.” Onyx relents, twisting his face in disappointment. He puts his hands behind his head, adjusts his hat, and leads them out of the rich part of the kingdom toward the nearest vendor of greasy cheap food available. He would need a palate cleanser after this.

After eating, Ivory walks up beside Onyx, who was still sulking about the less than decent meal they just had. “Oh come on, Onyx, it wasn’t that bad. It’s not any worse than what the academy serves at mess time.”

“It is the principle of the matter, Ivory.” Onyx says, “I offer my graces and hospitality and they throw it back in my face. It’s not my fault that Mantle is run down and has barely a decent business to its name. Besides, it’s little more than factories and apartments. There’s no culture or real life to be had.”

“I wouldn’t repeat that within earshot of our teammates...” Ivory warns. “Listen, I was looking forward to a good dinner, too, but we can save it for another time. Right now, let’s just see about those supplies. We still need things to maintain our weapons after all.”

“And that I refuse to budge on.” Onyx examines his own weapon. Jabberwocky was an intricate set of tiny reels, gears, and threading beneath the gold and black-colored plates of his gauntlets. It took no less than precise watchmaker’s tools to keep maintained and he knew Ivory’s bullets for her gun were custom made. “We’ll go to the usual place.” His eyes leveled to the multi-colored abomination of Lapis’s rifle, seemingly bashed together from multiple sources of parts. “Hamelin, we need to talk.”

“What?” Lapis replies coldly, “Are you too good for quick food? You won’t have that luxury out in the field. You’d better get used to-”

“Let me finish, damn you. What in the name of the gods is that weapon of yours?”

“What of it?”

“It looks like it’s one hard blow away from falling apart. Please tell me you didn’t make it out of scrap.”

Lapis’s expression darkened. “You wouldn’t understand. You don’t even know what you’re fighting for last I checked.”

“And that’s wonderful for you that you’ve figured it out for yourself- but if you insist on fighting with that, you’re only going to get yourself killed. Here, we are going to a weapon shop for supplies.” He pulls out a plastic card and hands it out. “Get that thing fixed.”

“I’m not going to respect you just because you’re throwing money at us, Cheshire. I’ll be glad when I’m off this team.”

Onyx tosses the card on the ground and turns away from Lapis. “Do what you will, then, but at this rate you will be off this team when we’re dragging your corpse back to wherever you came from. People are rarely buried with pride.”

Ivory heard a curse then a shout just in time to catch Lapis’s attempt at a swing toward Onyx. “That’s enough!” He was a lot stronger than he looked and she had a real hard time holding onto him. He wound up breaking free, but thankfully didn’t pursue his aggression any further. “We’re supposed to be celebrating our first mission, not fighting in the middle of the street!”

Violet picks up the discarded card and holds it in her hand while watching the simmering showdown. She had to think of something to make sure that didn’t keep happening. She needed to find some common ground for all of them.

“I got it!” She shouts suddenly, “ Follow me once we’re done getting our supplies!” She shows off the card Onyx had tossed to the ground. “Here.”

Onyx stared at the card before his smirk returned to his face. “Hold onto it for now, I want to see what idea of yours just came into your head.”

The weapon shopping went quick and mercifully without incident. With a few backs of parts and material, the team had followed Violet down the street. She stopped in front of a brightly-colored storefront.

“Here we are!” She says, opening the door to the candy store. “Everyone likes candy, right?” Come on, we can finish off the celebration the right way!” The team filed in and started to separate, browsing tentatively. She walks up to Onyx with a more serious look on her face.

“Hey... I know you’re trying to make a good impression, or at least make Lapis not hate you, but... take this back. Please.” She hands the card back over to him, “Just relax and let everyone do their own thing. Just because you’re our team leader doesn’t mean you have to act like a dad with an allowance, even if you have the money. If anyone really needs it, we’ll ask but, try to keep a lid on it, okay?”

“You’re from Mantle and Hamelin is vaguely from ‘outside the kingdoms’ as he puts it, why should I allow you to count your pennies when I can make that a non-issue? Wouldn’t that only make Ivory and I look selfish by comparison?”

“Just trust me.” Violet turns to see Lapis actually looking at the candy rather than scoffing and standing around. Ivory was of course looking through the expensive chocolates in a way that Violet could only be jealous of, but she had to force that back. She knew what she could spend even if it wasn’t much. “Just pick something for yourself, okay? I promise, this’ll work.”

Once all four had situated themselves and picked out a bag of candy, the team stood outside the building looking more content and, at least for now, at peace. No one was arguing or bickering or trying to take charge of where to go or what to do.

“This was a good idea!” Ivory compliments Violet, “Maybe we should make this a regular thing?”

“We will have to go on regular supply runs, so maybe we should! It can be good time for us to get to know each other, too! Maybe we’ll split up and go in pairs? Just a nice long walk just the two of us, spending the day together...”

“Who is she talking about...?” Lapis asks quietly and with a small note of worry.

“Uh, Violet?” Ivory asks, trying to get the smaller girl’s attention.

“And then I’ll tell him, I go this way with my teammates all the time. It’s a tradition. And then he’ll say ‘But this is more special.’ and then we hold each other watching the sunset...”

“Goodfellow!” Lapis barks like a sergeant calling for attention. “Head back on the ground. We’re leaving.” If that was going to be a regular thing with her, he’d have to keep both a close eye and a safe distance.

“Uh... Oh, yeah! Right! Sorry!” She shrinks down as much as she could, realizing she had been caught daydreaming instead of planning. “Let’s go home everyone.”

“Fine.” Lapis stuffs his hands in his pockets and marches ahead, still following behind Violet to make sure he was going the right way back to the academy.

“Hey... Lapis?”

“What?”

“Thanks for looking out for me. You know, about insisting we ate. My big brother used to do the same thing.”

Lapis pauses for a moment, letting his stiff posture loosen for a moment. “I have a little sister, too. I’m used to it.”

“I wouldn’t really call the barracks ‘home’...” Onyx says, trailing behind Lapis and Violet.

“I don’t know...” Ivory counters, walking up beside Onyx, “I kind of like the idea. Think about it, no family expectations, no social pressures to impress, no worrying about embarrassing our parents- we’re just like everyone else now.”

Onyx swallowed and felt a sting of pain hit his head. The old gnarled scar on the ear under his hat was something that never entirely went away. He would have to slip in and out of a pharmacy at some point to deal with it. “That...” He mutters, “is exactly what I don’t want to happen...”

[zorrxchicle]

Angela Davis ond Feminism Abolition and the Gender Binary

from Dream Defenders – “Sunday School: Unlock Us, Abolition in Our Lifetime” (June 14, 2020) 

The kind of feminism im referring to does not respect the binary structure of gender and recognizing the contribution of non-binary communities is so important, not only in terms of pointing out the concrete issues we need to address, and of course many of us already know that black trans women constitute the target of racist violence more consistently than any other community - we’re talking about state violence, individual violence, stranger violence, intimate violence - so if we want to develop an intersectional perspective, the trans community is showing us the way. 

And we need to point to cases such as the murder of Tony McDade for example, but we need to go beyond that and recognize that we support the trans community precisely  because this community has taught us to challenge that what is totally accepted as normal. And I don’t think we would be where we are today, encouraging ever larger numbers of people to think within an abolitionist frame, had not the trans community taught us that is possible to effectively challenge that what is considered the very foundation of our sense of normalcy.

So if it’s possible to challenge the gender binary then we can certainly effectively resist prisons, jails and police.

[secretlyatargaryen]

I've talked before about how the books (and especially the show) emphasize the moralizing of the "good" North where people's lives are simple vs the "evil and decadent" South, and how that also is rather obviously and unfairly gendered.

I've also talked before about how Tyrion is aligned with the feminine South because he's disabled and thus not a "real" man. Tyrion when he's in the North is constantly miserable, he complains about the cold, he is looked down on when he accepts furs to protect himself, he has to walk with a cane because his legs don't work as well in such extreme cold.

And I think about what Jon says about King's Landing in season 7, "why would anyone want to live that way?" Tyrion in that scene is the representative of King's Landing and Jon represents the North, and we're clearly supposed to be agreeing at least a little with Jon here. King's Landing is crowded, dirty, overpopulated, and full of corruption.

I think the books imply that Tyrion spent a lot of time in King's Landing pre-series and he probably preferred it to Casterly Rock. Initially I thought this was because he wanted to get away from his father as a young man, but a city like King's Landing would be a better place for Tyrion precisely because of the reasons Jon looks down on it. More people in one place means more diversity, a higher likelihood that people there would have seen a person with dwarfism and thus Tyrion would not be so isolated by his disability. More people means more knowledge and resources and more accommodations for disabled people, less of a need to travel long distances under harsh conditions to get what you need. Contrast that with Tywin actively forbidding dwarfs from going near Casterly Rock.

If Bran were able to travel at the beginning of AGoT it actually might have benefitted him to go to King's Landing, where he and his family might have had access to resources that would improve his quality of life.

The North is very much coded as male and able bodied and values physicality and endurance, which is also why the show contrasted Sansa's more Southern political style with Jon's in season 7 and made that a source of conflict between them even when it didn't make much sense.

King's Landing is feminine and the Lannisters are often associated with an effeminate kind of evil, especially when contrasted with the Starks, although I would also say that Casterly Rock and the Westerlands are masculine-coded. Casterly Rock is a vast impenetrable stone fortress and I think about Tyrion being kept away from other people, hidden literally beneath the earth as a baby with no mother to take care of him, I think about Cersei being slowly strangled inside that Rock and surrounded by her male relatives who all taught her to hate her femininity at the same time that they objectified her.

I also think Sansa is really interesting as the most feminine-coded Stark, the one whose direwolf was gentle and delicate, and I'm reminded of the Chinese concepts of Yin and Yang, the feminine and masculine qualities each containing a little of the other inside themselves, reminding us that such binaries are never fixed. Seeing Sansa in the show dressed like Ned but representing feminine power is really cool in that respect.

[itsclydebitches]

Dragon Ball. Dragon Ball Z Dragon Ball Super. Which is your favorite?

Oh, anon. You poor soul. You’ve activated my current obsession. Okay. I preface this by saying that DBZ, imo, is the CLASSIC. Frieza, Cell, and Buu? Iconic. DBZ is what I think of as the core of the DB franchise and I adore it accordingly. That being said… I’m really, really loving Dragon Ball Super. 

(And I’m totally gonna tell you why because you made the mistake of starting this conversation in the first place :D)

I’m just? A sucker for lore filled with fallible gods?? This is my long-lived love of Greek mythology rearing its head. Even back in DBZ the Supreme Kai was instantly a favorite of mine. Yeah, yeah, the whole fandom rags on him for supposedly being “useless,” but that’s precisely why I love him? He starts out as this mysterious, incredibly powerful figure–powerful enough to scare the crap out of Piccolo–and then very quickly falls off that pedestal, making him relatable and humanized. Shin clearly has a shit ton of trauma from, you know, watching Buu kill and/or absorb his entire family. He’s been forced to take on a job meant for five and he definitely hasn’t been trained (or at least fully trained) for this particular position. He comes to Earth expecting to use mortals as a tool, as one would expect from a high-ranking god, and is just totally blindsided by how powerful they are. It’s an instant double-edged sword. On the one hand hell yeah defeating Buu just got a whole lot more likely. On the other hand, existential crisis much? Who am I–who are all the gods–if we’re not intrinsically more powerful, knowledgeable, or spiritually sturdier than the mortals we watch over? Goku, Vegeta, and especially Gohan upset the presumed hierarchy. It’s why we get such a good dichotomy between Shin and Kibito. Shin rolls with this new information and embraces it fully. Okay. Mortals are stronger than us in so many ways, how wonderful! We can learn from them and rely on them, forming equal partnerships to achieve our goals. Kibito is stuck in his assumptions. How dare you set foot on this world? How dare you think you can pull out the Z Sword? How dare you think yourself equal to a god? 

It’s a familiar theme for DB: humanizing the latest, all-powerful entity. And each new introduction becomes more extreme.

Kami was our original god… who got some awkward moments. Then King Kai is the top guy…who loves lame jokes and lets Goku tear up his sacred planet in the name of training. Then Shin, Supreme Kai of the whole damn universe… who is also an anxious bean Just Trying His Best. It’s a theme I love because it upholds humanity (or in this case Saiyans adopted by humanity) as beings of endless potential. DB is all about pushing past your limits, but that doesn’t just apply to physical power. It also ties into upending the status quo; showing those who think themselves arrogantly better–in this case the gods–that no, we all have worth here. When the chips fall it’s mortals who consistently manage what the gods cannot, reaching a point where, ki-wise at least, they’re indistinguishable from gods, raising the question of why they were ever above them in the first place. They’re not. We’re all on equal footing once those assumptions are acknowledged and done away with. Ancient Kais can like dirty magazines. Supreme Kais can have panic attacks. Destroyers can love pizza as much as the next, average anime watcher.

Indeed, we see in the Tournament of Power that these rules now apply to Goku in his god state. He might have reached incredible power that everyone else thought impossible… but that doesn’t make the rest of the cast “below” him. It’s only because of his friends–presumably “useless” friends like Krillin and Tien–that allow him to enter the tournament and get as far as he did. It’s his old mentors who he has far outpaced that remind him he still has much to learn and who help Goku tap into Ultra Instinct in the first place. It’s a simple android we haven’t seen in years who manages to win the whole damn thing. The story consistently applies that same message of equality and worth to everyone, including our original paragon who has now reached the status of the very beings he’s worked to outpace. Rather than turning Goku into the hypocrite, DB keeps reminding him that no amount of power is going to change his or anyone else’s worth. He’s still BFFs with Krillin. Still married to Chi-Chi. Still needs other “weak” people like Bulma to help him when things get tough. No time machine, money, or strategic smarts? Sorry, no win.

In short, Dragon Ball Super takes that fantastic message and dials it up to 11. Now suddenly we’ve got a scary Destroyer God… who is easily swayed by tasty Earth food and a good nap spot. Angels who are equally humanized in their humor and love of mortal creations. An omnipotent ruler who is recognizably child-like. It both makes Zeno lovable and downright terrifying. He’s human enough to form friendships and use his power inappropriately. Zeno has the capacity to fall in love with a simple handshake as well as destroy an entire universe with the same detachment that we might, say, walk through an ant hill. Why did I do it? Because I could and no one has taught me yet that this might be something I shouldn’t do. Everyone has the capacity for growth.

And it’s so goddamn funny? Literally this scene is everything to me because it slams godly assumptions together with simplistic, mortal friendships, then lets that contrast play out. The most powerful being ever, creator of it all, the god that makes every other god shake in their boots wants… a friend? Okay! Our equally intimidating Grand Priest cracking up at this development? Whis losing his shit in the background? Shin straight up fainting? Goku pressing his shiny new god button because who DOESN’T press a button when you’re suddenly presented with one? All of it slays me. Forget stories where you endlessly bow before your supposed betters, knowing that you will never be able to even fathom their power. I want more stories like this, where the hero introduces enough kindness and brazen communication that it upends everyones’ expectations and fun, crazy new relationships form. Goku moved from utter shock at learning the Supreme Kai even existed to hoisting him over his shoulder like a drunk friend who is still refusing to head home. I love this weird-ass family.

All of which of course introduces the opposite as well. What if we’re given Zamasu, a fallible god whose imperfections don’t result in him becoming another quirky family member, but lead him down a path that endangers the entire multiverse? Though Super hasn’t commented on it explicitly yet, we’re also starting to toy with the idea of exactly how “human” the top gods are and how much growth they are capable of. For example, I’m fascinated by the Grand Priest. The anime makes him out to be far darker than he is in the manga, and I know there’s a disconnect between the two, so I’m not currently inclined to think that he’s the end Big Bad. Rather, he seems to actually have a stronger moral sense than Zeno–he comments on how awful it is that mortals riot and kill one another after learning about the Tournament–but as Zeno’s subordinate, and being well aware of how easy it can be to displease him, he’s not in a good position to sway him. We see him introducing tiny bits of logic to the Zenos (like stopping the fight between Goku and Toppo in the anime), but that’s a far safer thing to suggest then, say, “How about we don’t erase a ton of universes at once, hmm?”

Like his angel children, the Grand Priest ultimately exists to serve his Lord… but Goku and his friends are in no such position. Not as overtly, anyway. Created through evolution and developing their own ideals, they have the freedom to challenge and ultimately teach all those high-level gods, including Zeno. He says it himself in that clip: “No one will try. You can do what no one else can do!” Goku, both as a mortal and a very straight forward one, has the capacity to charge past those expectations and hit on something grand.

However, we see with Whis that, wow… maybe angels really are so far removed from us that they don’t care in any meaningful way. Whis seems like a friend, but when push came to shove he wasn’t very upset about his entire universe–and a Destroyer he’s known for who knows how many thousands of years–getting destroyed. We can attribute this apathy to him assuming it will all turn out alright (if anyone would realize that whoever wins can just use their wish to revert everything back to normal, it’s Whis), but even if he actually doesn’t care much right now… he’s learning too. Whis went from shrugging about Beerus destroying the Earth (at least he has his leftovers!) to telling Trunks and Mai how to break more time rules–rules Whis originally thought were more important than anything else–just so they could get a happy ending. We’ve seen him form a legitimate friendship with Bulma. He does little things like waving a Universe 7 flag and having them hold hands that demonstrate care, outside of practicalities (like delivering Bulla so Vegeta can fight). He seems more invested in challenging the status quo than his brother and even his brother, notably, slips up and uses “Father” instead of “Grand Priest,” demonstrating a certain level of familial love that can sometimes override pure duty.

Vados copies Whis and sits with the Universe 7 team, shrugging off the other gods’ disgust. Whis then shows legit pride in Goku managing Ultra Instinct. It’s GREAT watching these beings move from seeing mortals as inconsequential specs in the multiverse to individuals worthy of their time, attention, and respect. We’re seeing that development with Whis most of all, slowly but surely.

And it helps that our protagonist is really worthy of that respect this arc. Beyond his innate capacity for kindness, Goku is wonderfully smart in Super. I myself have mentioned that being naive and battle obsessed to the point of endangering others is kind of his thing, but Super hits a wonderful middle ground. Goku is the one who thinks to use the future Zeno to destroy Zamasu. He figures out a good portion of Zamasu’s plan. He thought up the idea of using dead warriors in the Tournament of Power and instantly has a way of negating the danger Frieza would pose: let’s use Baba so he can only come back for 24 hours. The anime (strangely…) emphasizes how the Tournament is supposedly Goku’s fault, but Vados reminds everyone that Zeno planned to erase the universes regardless. Though he didn’t intend the outcome, Goku’s suggestion of a tournament gave all universes a fighting chance. Much more importantly, it introduced the reward that would ultimately save them all. Goku’s got a good head on his shoulders this time around and the story emphasizes that it’s his capacity to care that saves far more than his brute power. Sparing enemies leads to them turning over a new leaf. Cultivating a diverse family results in a team with the strength and strategy to win. The ability to look at anyone–even Zeno–and smile as you shake their hand results in allies who can save the day when your own strength fails. IT’S ABOUT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP AND I’M A WEAK GOODY-GOODY.

I just… fucking love DBS. It takes all of the best underdog themes of the DB franchise–Can a low-class warrior become the best? Can a normal human woman gain the love of a prince? Can mortals ever stand side-by-side with gods?–and homes in on those questions, emphasizing them to an almost meta extent. I could give you another hundred reasons of exactly how much I’ve enjoyed these new stories… but I should stop now lol

Last note though Ultra Instinct is AWESOME

[im-the-king-of-the-ocean]

That Time of the Year

(or The Meaning of Family)

So, after this, if I write anything holiday-themed, it will definitely be lighter in tone (and probably about Hanukkah).  With this story, I wanted to recognize that it can be hard to navigate extended family relationships when you’re queer and it’s this time of year when there’s a lot of emphasis on familial love/being together/etc.

Content Note for transphobia (the character who is transphobic is Jim’s grandmother.  She doesn’t appear in the story at all but the narrative focuses on how Jim is affected by her past actions).

Overall, I tried to give it a good ending, though.

(song is “I Want To Break Free” by Queen)

I want to break free

I want to break free

I want to break free from your lies

You're so self satisfied I don't need you

I've got to break free

God knows, God knows I want to break free

Jim listens to his mom’s singing carry through the house.  She never sings.  Not unless she’s in a particularly good mood.

Jim groans and burrows deeper under his blankets.  Guilt twists his gut up into knots.  Mom is happy, for once.  He shouldn’t take that away from her.  But, he has no choice.  Not really.

He shifts around so he’d facing his desk, and the opened letter there.  Its edges are still crumpled up from when he balled it in his fists, even though he attempted to smooth it out again.  It’s a stupid letter from a stupid person who doesn’t even like him.  He shouldn’t care.  He doesn’t care.  He.  Doesn’t.  Care.

But Mom will.

What kind of son gets his mother disinvited from the big, yearly family get-together?

A part of Jim truly doesn’t care.  His relatives didn’t exactly accept him two years ago when he came out.  They paid lip service to respecting his trans identity last year, but mainly when Mom was there to glare at them.

He honestly hadn’t been looking forward to being around them anyway.  For all their talk of how important family was, they never seemed get the importance of not calling him by his dead name or using the wrong pronouns for him.  But he’d endure them, he decided, because they were Mom’s family too and she deserved to get to be with them if she wanted.

This year though, a week ago, Jim found a letter in the mail from his grandmother.  He knew he shouldn’t have opened it—it was addressed to Mom—but its presence caused a sinking feeling in his stomach.  So, he’d torn it open and skimmed it.

Until Barbara stopped humoring her child’s deviance, neither she nor Jim were welcome at any event hosted by their extended family, his grandmother had written.  Jim set a bad example for his younger cousins.  His presence would ruin things.  Quite frankly, Jim’s grandmother was concerned about Barbara’s parenting abilities.  She was sure she’d taught her better than this.

She’s just an old, bigoted lady who’s stuck in her ways, Jim told himself and still tells himself.  What she thinks of him shouldn’t matter.  Yet.  It hurts.  It’s stupid, but it hurts.  Family are the people who are supposed to be there for you first and foremost, no matter what.  Through thick and thin and all that.  

They aren’t supposed to reject you because they don’t understand you.  Sure, he doesn’t know his extended family very well (and never has).  They live on the other side of the country, after all, and their visits are seldom.  But, at the same time, a part of him—a really stupid part of him—still wants them to like him.  Wants them to think of him as one of them.

Now, his grandmother, his mom’s mother, thinks he’s…

Jim groans into his pillow.

He.  Doesn’t.  Care.

He can’t just stop being trans.  He doesn’t want to.  For the first time in his life, something actually feels right.  He’s never hated himself, at least not precisely for those reasons (that was more the territory of his anxiety and long-lived self doubts), but he’s never felt good about gender either.  Not until now.  Not until he started to transition.

Why should he change himself just to fit the image of what they want to see him as anyway?  He doesn’t owe them anything.  Especially not warping himself like that.  He doesn’t need them.  He’s fine without them.

But what about Mom?

The thought lingers.  Sure, she loves him.  Sure, she’s defended both him and his identity.  Sure, he’s her son and she’s his mom.  But, will she still choose him over them?  Will she give up the entire rest of her family for him?

Jim wants to think she will.  She’s Mom.  But, at the same time, she has a mom too, and that mom currently hates him.

Jim turns to face the wall again.  He closes his eyes in the hopes that he’ll fall asleep and not have to think anymore, but that doesn’t work.

He doesn’t hear his bedroom door move nor does he hear his mom’s approaching footsteps, but he does hear Barbara say, “Fucking dammit,” under her breath.

Jim jerks up.  Self doubt and worries aside, he’s still a teen who just heard his parent, who makes a point of correcting him whenever he curses, curse.  “Mom?”  He questions her.

“Sorry, kiddo.”  Barbara sits on the end of his bed.  Jim notes the letter is now in her hand.  “I was hoping she wouldn’t try to send something like this and that, if she did, you wouldn’t see it.”  She sighs.  “How long have you had it?”

“A week,” Jim mumbles, and hates how the words come out.  He sounds so childish.

“And you didn’t tell me?  Jim, we talked about this.”  Barbara looks at him, and then down at the letter.  “No.  I’m sorry.  If you’ve had this a week…honey, how are you doing?”

Jim shrugs.  “Yeah, um, if I say I’m fine, will you believe me?”

“Oh, come here, kiddo.”  Barbara opens her arms to him.  When he moves over to her, she pulls him fully into her lap.  She wraps her arms around him.  “You know I love you?”

“More than them?”

“Yup.”  Barbara strokes his hair.  She lets out a breath.  “You’re my son and I love you.  Sure, it wasn’t always exactly like this, but we’re family.  No matter what.  And the person who wrote that letter.”  She turns his head up so he’s looking at her.  “Isn’t welcome in our family.  Alright?”

“Yeah,” Jim whispers.  “Yeah okay.”  He lets her comfort him a moment longer before asking, “So, what now?”

“How would you like to spend the rest of the day in Trollmarket?  Apparently since the trolls were stowed away on the Mayflower, they have traditions of their own to celebrate the occasion of them coming to find the new Heartstone.  I called Blinky earlier and he said we’d be more than welcome to join them.”

“That sounds nice.”

And it was.

Particularly when Blinky gave him a four-armed hug.  And Draal “joked” that they should give his transphobic family members a trollish “surprise” that involved battle axes.  And Arrrgh!!! went out of his way to make him feel better by doing goofy things.

And Jim realized that maybe family can be your gay troll dads, your sort of brotherly ex-nemesis, the old goat of a community elder who just isn’t necessarily opposed to taking the role of crotchety grandpa, and the three half-drunk changelings who showed up the crash the party midway through but were welcome anyway.

[moonprincess92]

To the stars

the titanic au 

1, 2, 3, 4, 5 

Read on AO3 

Chapter 6: The confrontation 

If K-2SO hadn’t said anything to them, then Cassian never would have guessed that something was very, very wrong with the ship.

Charging through the corridors, absolutely nothing seemed amiss. No rumbling, grumbling or shaking. Nightlife carried on, the three of them ducking around clumps of drunken gamblers outside the entrance to the casino. Everything still worked as it should, and quite honestly Jyn was starting to wonder whether her mind was actually just losing it after all.

No, people only really started noticing when the engines suddenly cut out. 

They had been hurriedly climbing a staircase when they realised, pausing as they tried to figure out what was suddenly so different. It took a moment to grasp that the sound of the engines, that were always constantly humming in the background, had just… stopped. The lights stayed on, doors still opened, they apparently still had power, but a quick dash to the nearest viewport showed that they were no longer moving. Stars were the only things that interrupted the endless sea of black space beyond them. 

No asteroids. But then again, this was a large ship and they were currently on the portside. 

“What’s happening?” Jyn murmured. 

“First instinct for you humans in a crisis is to cease all activity. Everything has to have a kill switch somewhere,” K-2 mentioned with only a hint of derision before turning and training his gaze directly on her. “You clearly didn’t hit yours.” 

Well, apparently all the hits were being taken tonight. 

“All right, have it out,” she said, stepping forward. “Clearly you have something to say.”

“I still maintain that it was a bad idea to have sexual intercourse!” K-2 burst out, apparently unable to keep it in any longer. “Cassian, I apologise, I understand that we are on a mission but that is precisely my point. We shouldn’t be facing any of this on a mission! I thought you were better than–”

“I didn’t ask for this,” Cassian said, turning from the viewport.

Jyn blinked a little at the snap in his voice. She still didn’t really know all that much about the relationship between Cassian and his droid, but it was clear to her so far that it was a close one. They had a rapport, a way of expressing that Cassian had K-2′s back as much as K-2 had his without ever having to use words. As annoying as the droid was, she had almost appreciated his presence on the ship. She had never expected a fall out over this, but apparently Cassian was reaching a kind of breaking point alongside his droid. 

“You of all people should know that,” Cassian carried on without holding back. “You know I don’t do this, you know that I wouldn’t want this to happen, but I met her and it did, what did you want me to do?”

“Repress your feelings and remain as professional as possible,” K-2 shrugged in the most duh-like tone he had ever heard from a droid.

“Wow,” Jyn muttered.

“I tried that. Didn’t work.”

“You didn’t try hard enough!”

“Do I get to say anything here?” Jyn stuck in.

“YOU have caused enough problems!” K-2 declared.

But she had had enough as well. No, this wasn’t the right time for it, but apparently they needed to hash this out before they could get literally anything else done and K-2 wasn’t accepting any moment other than the present. Fine. She hadn’t wanted this either, but when she was in front of Cassian, she somehow couldn’t seem to look past him. It was like he filled up all the space, covered every crack, and if she could go back and make that choice to kiss him at the bow, she would do it again every time. She honestly hadn’t even had time to process everything that had happened, how she had pressed his body into the mattress with her own, how they had been silent until they got confident enough to coax the tentative moans out of each other, how she had made him dig his fingers into her back and his heart to splutter and choke…

She glanced up at him. Silhouetted by the viewport behind him, she ached to reach out, to perhaps push him up against the glass a little. Instead, she simply brushed her hand over his and knew he understood.

“I’m not sorry for how I feel,” she said, throwing a hard look at K-2. “We’re not bloody droids.”

“Are you–” K-2 seemed to be thrown a little. “You imply that I do not experience emotions. I am programmed to feel a variety, including loyalty, apprehension, and irritation. Droids can feel.”

“Well, I will respect your feelings when you fucking respect ours, then!”

Without facial expressions, it was hard to tell what was whirring through K-2SO’s processers in that moment. Cassian stared at Jyn in awe, although she kept her gaze firmly on K-2, kind of fearing his reaction. Had she gone too far? But eventually, K-2 let out a soft whir which she thought might be a sigh as he hung his head.

“I concede your point, Jyn Erso,” he said. “I apologise.”

“Thank you.”

“Just please refrain from kissing in front of me?” K-2 mentioned. “I have the capability to feel all basic human emotions, and disgust is one of them.”

“We make no promises,” Cassian quickly put in, staring only at her.

Before they could act on the words, however, that was when loud voices that had been slowly approaching from a corridor beyond theirs reached a crescendo. They turned to watch several crew members practically running as they hurried past them, their words rushed and panicked.

“Did you get a hold of Lightholler yet?”

“Nothing’s going through – what the hell is happening down there?” 

“Communications is probably down, hurry up, come on!” 

The three of them exchanged looks.

“We need to keep moving,” Cassian said. 

Officer Kyra Landon had been sleeping at her station when she’d first gotten the call.

Now, she was forced to frantically field calls left right and centre. It was one of their pilots (bloody Rohn) who had been the one to first call and explain what was happening, and she hadn’t exactly been amused.

“Tell me you’re fucking joking,” she had deadpanned.

“I’M NOT,” Rohn had practically yelled down the comm. “We hit a kriffing asteroid and there's a fuckton of damage! You’re gonna be ordered to send out an official distress call, you have our co-ordinates, right–?”

“I always have them,” Kyra had heaved herself upright out of her creaky chair, rubbing her eyes. “but are you sure you’re not fucking with me? Last time was seriously the last time I fall for one of your idiotic pranks.”

“DO I SOUND LIKE I’M JOKING?” 

“Blimey, FINE,” Kyra had huffed out. In all her time running communications on this ship alongside the pilot, she had never heard him sound quite so panicked before. She didn’t get what the fuss was about! They’d sustained damage before and they’d always managed to pull through without having to inform the passengers, no harm, no public statement. A distress call was something different. That was…

Beep, beep, beep. 

Something dangerous.

“Oh, shit,” she had said, glancing up at her screen. “The captain’s calling me.”

“See!” Rohn had yelled. “I told you!”

She had believed him. Captain Smyth was quick to inform her about the collision, about how dozens of staff had already been trapped in sealed off areas, and she had felt the ice slide down into her stomach. The calls had been quick to come flooding in after that. She finally ended up ignoring all of them (all fifteen flashing red as urgent, urgent, urgent) in order to send out their own distress signal. 

“MAYDAY, MAYDAY, MAYDAY!” she called. “This is Titanic! This is Titanic! We’ve been hit, is there anybody out there? MAYDAY!” 

In the few minutes it took to reach Krennic’s suite, the amount of people in the hallways seemed to double. Other first-class passengers were rousing from bed, confused and in demand of answers about why the engines seemed to have apparently stopped.

“I have an important meeting to make in two days’ time!” one officer was yelling.

“No one said this was happening, I demand to see your schedule!” a woman in a satin robe complained.

“I want to speak to your commanding officer!” another insisted to who was clearly already the commanding officer for that deck.

“Everything is fine, Ma’am,” Jyn overheard him saying loudly. “I assure you this is just a routine engine check, everyone please return to your rooms!”

Thankfully they were still able to blend into the first-class crowds that were slowly forming. They paused before turning the corner to Krennic’s suite, allowing K-2 time to scan for lifeforms inside. 

Jyn eyed the droid with some trepidation, but apparently (and thankfully) they were genuinely moving on from the earlier spat at the viewport. Honestly, she didn’t know where that had all come from. She understood K-2′s side clearly, but as for herself... she reached back a hand, blindly grasping Cassian's for a moment as they watched for signs of movement. 

“Is he still in there?” Cassian whispered.

“No, the entire suite is empty,” K-2 answered. “I would assume that Krennic has left like all these others to go and find out what is happening.”

“It’s now or never,” he said, reluctantly. Jyn knew he had to hate going in like this, with a hastily changed plan that none of them had revised. He was apparently never anything less than prepared but in this case, they had no choice but to go when they could. He turned to exchange a glance with Jyn and she saw the anxieties sketched on his face.

“I know,” she said.

Getting in was easy considering Jyn had access. They stole inside with no one the wiser, K-2 acting as their look out from the corridor. Getting access to the plans was another matter entirely. The safe they were being kept in sat inside the nightstand next to Krennic’s bed and Jyn had self-taught herself to slice her way into things but the largest thing she’d ever managed to hack into was Krennic’s personal device whenever she had been bored. She’d never even come close to getting into the data system that had housed all of his research and she had certainly never cracked a safe before. Cassian pulled out a scramble key and offered it, but she shook her head.

“I can’t – I’ve never–”

“Whatever your skill set, you’ll be better than me,” he insisted. “Quickly.”

She knew he had to be anxious. As much as he believed her, she knew that his entire career was on the line here as well as his life, and at this point he could afford to worry about the former. She swore spectacularly when she thankfully connected the scramble key successfully, but ran into the snag they both knew had been coming.

“We can’t slice in without the safe warning Krennic that someone is trying to access it without authority.”

“We already predicted that,” Cassia said. “Don’t give in, come on–” 

“What if we get these plans, but it’s not what you want?” Jyn said. “Not what your Rebel Alliance wants–”

“We have come too far for you to freak out now,” Cassian insisted fiercely. “Jyn, in the end I don’t fucking care what’s in that safe. If it’s what the council wants to hear or not, I couldn’t care less, they aren’t the most important thing in the galaxy anymore–”

He cut himself off, staring at her as if he was just realising the magnitude of what he’d just said. The Rebel Alliance was no longer the most important thing in the rebel spy’s life. Implying that she was… sent her tail-spinning almost as if the scramble key was plugged into her brain instead of the safe. She didn’t deserve this. She spent her whole life aiding the man who had built a weapon of mass destruction, played nice to keep herself safe, she shouldn’t be important to anyone except her dead father. But here was this man crouched in front of her, eyes wide and apparently choked on his own words.

She didn’t know him at all a few weeks ago. She still didn’t really know him now. But she knew enough to trust him with her life and maybe that could be enough.

“Abort, Abort!” She could hear K-2’s voice suddenly blearing into Cassian’s ear all the way from where she was. “I’ve just finished scanning the corridor and Krennic has set security to notify him whenever someone enters the room–”

“What?” Jyn straightened. No cameras on her, that was a rule insisted on by her father and that had been respected her entire life up until now. Krennic didn’t like it, but he needed to keep Galen happy to work, and so she hadn’t ever had to worry about someone watching her – 

“He surely knows you ran away again,” Cassian said quickly. “He would have it on so he’ll know if you came back–”

“No, you don’t understand, I’ve never had cameras on me before, something is wrong–”

The bedroom doors slid open. Before she could say much else, one of her familiar bodyguards had already grabbed her by the back of her vest and dragged her out into the living room of the suite. She only managed to catch a glimpse of LJ’s severely pissed off face before she was hitting the floor. Cassian was similarly thrown down next to her, keeping his hands up as Director Krennic moved to stand over them. Jyn’s heart pounded as he watched them with cold calculation. She rarely saw that face. If she was ever around him as a child, it was usually because she was with her father, and Krennic usually kept a reasonable, forced-friendly expression with him. For about two seconds she was certain that they were both done for.

Then Krennic turned and scowled at his bodyguards. “What do you think you’re doing being so rough with her? My dear, you must have gone through hell!” and he reached out a hand to help her up off the floor. She loathed to take it, but did when she felt Cassian subtly squeezing her calve from where they sat together. She allowed herself to get pulled to her feet and protectively into Krennic’s side. 

“Did he do anything to you? Are you hurt?” Krennic asked.

She closed her eyes. This was their chance.

“I’m fine,” she said, shortly.

“I knew he was rebel scum from the moment he introduced himself,” Krennic stared down his nose at Cassian still kneeling on the floor. His eyes she knew had probably already swept the entire room, looking to weak points, ways out. She was doing it too. 

A) Use the blasters hidden in their clothes and kill them all

A fight would cause attention and bodies and potential injuries that they couldn’t afford to have.

B) Manipulate Krennic into opening the safe somehow, get the plans

And where to from there? Too many variables, no concrete way. 

C) Pray that K-2 could get them out of this

Might help Cassian, probably wouldn’t help her.

So far their best bet seemed to be the second option while waiting for the third and using the first only as a last resort. Jyn closed her eyes, breathing out slowly, before turning her well-trained pampered look on Krennic and saying,

“He used me, Sir,” She threw the dirtiest look she could manage at Cassian on the floor. “Flattered me and got to know me and used me for his own gain. He wanted me to open the safe, get the Death Star plans. Joke’s on him, I couldn’t open it.”

“Of course you couldn’t, like I would allow you access,” Krennic said as if she were stupid to not realise. “You manipulated the wrong person, Sward. Or whatever your actual name is.”

 “Captain Cassian Andor, Rebel Intelligence,” Cassian spat.

“Well, Captain Andor,” Krennic’s hand, she noticed, didn’t loosen its grip at all from when it had tugged her elbow into his side. “I’m not surprised you managed to get this one under your control – she’s been weak ever since her father passed – but what I’m more curious to know,” He stepped forward, dragging Jyn with him and snapping his fingers so that his bodyguards did the same. “is how the hell you knew that I would be transporting the plans on this vessel in the first place.”

For a split second, Cassian’s eyes flickered in uncertainty, a small moment of oh fuck, we’re done for. He wouldn’t betray her, she knew that, but even she couldn’t figure out another solid explanation that didn’t jeopardise her in some way. In the end, he apparently went with the vague truth.

“Guess your men aren’t as loyal as you think.”

“You’re saying that I have a spy?”

Cassian just shrugged.

Krennic clearly looked rattled by this, but he shook it off fairly quickly. “No matter,” he said. “I already have the most powerful weapon in the entire galaxy, there’s nothing even the best spy could do about it. Just you wait until the power of the Death Star is unleashed,” he dropped the smirk, anger coating his features now as he slammed a boot into Cassian’s ribs. He didn’t make a sound, but dropped to the ground immediately, Jyn’s jaw practically locked from clenching her teeth so hard.

“I think the first to go will be your precious rebellion.”

It seemed that Krennic was going to kick Cassian again, and Jyn was all but two seconds from blowing the entire thing and punching him in the face when an emergency siren suddenly sounded. It made her jump a little, even LJ twitching as it swung between high and low pitches, piercing and broken up every now and then by a voice announcing,

Please advance to the assembly point using your nearest exit!

“It seems that Titanic is in a bit of trouble,” Krennic added quickly then, snapping at the bodyguards. They both stormed forward and hauled Cassian to his feet. Jyn didn’t dare meet his eyes. He had to know she was acting, that this was their best way out of this, that she didn’t actually think he’d been manipulating her the entire time. They would get out of this, they would –

“You know what order I give for rebels,” Krennic snapped at the bodyguards. “But we’re apparently evacuating, everything will be locked down to prevent a hull breach. If his body is discovered there will be an investigation and I can’t risk having security snooping around. Just lock him up somewhere, if this ship is really going down then space will take care of him.”

Don’t make a sound. Don’t make a sound. Jyn bit her lip until it bled to force herself to stay silent while watching Cassian get dragged out of the room. All of this for nothing, they were going to beat him up and leave him for dead somewhere and if it was going to be at all worth it, then it was all up to her now. The siren that was still blaring was making her head ring but she had to concentrate – if she could just get Krennic to open the damn safe –

“Oh, thank the Force!” she declared, pulling away from Krennic the second Cassian was out of sight. “If you hadn’t come in I don’t know what I would have done.”

“He probably would have killed you, my dear,” Krennic said, sympathetically. “You’re lucky I arrived when I did, although this wouldn’t have been an issue if you just stayed in your room like you’re supposed to.”

Jyn laughed weakly, as she always did when accused of running. “Can you blame me for wanting to get out?”

“This is a serious matter, Jyn.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

His face evened out. “Oh, I know my dear. I’m just glad that you’re ok.”

Like hell he was. He was livid, seconds from losing it, but putting on a face because he thought he could still get to her.  Keep her under his control. Jyn refrained from lashing out and instead, pointed back to the safe.

“He nearly got in. You might want to check that it’s still secure.”

And Krennic started… laughing.

Honestly, it was not the reaction that she was expecting, although perhaps she should have. A second later, he slapped her across the face so hard that she staggered and nearly fell to the floor. She felt the inside of her cheek cut on her teeth, her eyes stinging as he laughed at her.

“You really thought I had no idea that you were the one who betrayed me?”

She glanced back up at Krennic, face throbbing. He stared her down, no longer the man who had cared for her since she was eight. This was the man who had murdered her father right in front of her, the one who didn’t care for appearances. She’d fucked up, oh Force had she fucked up somewhere.

“You can encrypt a holo all you like, but it’s still being sent out on my servers,” Krennic snarled at her. “I didn’t know who or what at first but I suspected. I’ve trained you well, but you were always too much of a daddy’s girl. As soon as he was gone I figured that it wouldn’t take long for you to rebel, but still I hated to have to kill you too so I kept you around in hopes that you might see sense. Apparently, you didn’t. You told the Alliance how to find you, about the Death Star plans, about everything.”

All pretences dropped, Jyn spat in his face.

“I’d rather be a dead rebel than work for you.”

He pulled his blaster on her.

“Get on your knees.”

Slowly, she sank down. He stooped forward to pat her down and found the blaster that Cassian had given her in her jacket. He threw it across the room before training his own blaster directly at her forehead.

“You can’t risk leaving a body, remember?” she pointed out.

“I might make an exception for you. I suppose I’ve always had a bit of a weakness for the Erso family, after all.”

She braced herself to spring. She was going to die here, but she wasn’t going to die without a fight. Krennic would have to shoot her ten times over before she eventually gave in. However, before she could leap for the ornate coffee table and use it as a shield, before Krennic could squeeze the trigger, the doors to the suite suddenly slid open once again.

Krennic whirled around. It took K-2SO less than two seconds to slam his fist on top of his head and send him into a heap on the pristine floor.

“Honestly,” K-2 complained. “I have to do all the work around here.”

[tumblueberry]

Okay guys buckle up because I forgot to update Serena’s adventures last week and this one’s game has been amazing too. It’s three pages in word worth of text, you’ve been warned.

Last week:

We got to the nearest town in our way north to a Baroness' lands. Royce the human warlock knows her and apparently has some kind of deal (and respect to a point) this woman. The plan is to go there so they can do their business, tell her about the giants and dragons we saw and then continuing our quest to recovering his and our cleric's lost years of youth.

We arrive, a guard from a prominent order greets us and points us to the two inns in town. After chatting a bit about how things are here, we go to the good inn. There, we find our new bard YAAASS. His name is Justin Keis. Read it again. Yes. It's a pun. I love him already. Justin was talking to the bartender and she was being racist, so Nayah the human paladin stood up for him, and then the rest of the party just came down to the woman. Justin is a tiefling, btw! So, we obviously decided she didn't deserve our money! We went to the bad inn instead xD It smelled bad, everything was sticky and the bartender was an asshole, but at least he was like that to everybody and not just the weirdly colored, horned ones. There, we find our other new companion. His name is Elarel and he's a sea elf? Or something like that? An elf but like... green xD

Somehow we end up telling the man about what happened, he runs outta the place and we're left there with our super awful stews while we hear how people are freaking out. Of course, the boss of the previous guard enters the inn shortly after and we tell him again about the giants in the sky. Bit of time passes, we go to the small market and learn about ships not being able to go fishing because of the pirates. They have to buy food from nearby towns and everyone is misserable. I bought and stiletto though B) and Molk the lizzardfolk bought a big fish just to use the bone. Uro, his caracal companion, had a feast xD Then Royce bought some new clothes for the visit to the Baroness and I can't remember what else.

Anyway, we then go the beach and of course it turned into an anime beach episode. But like, with nudity and obscenity. First of, we made a little fire and Justin started playing his lute. Alana the half-elf clerid took off her clothes and ran into the water after a bit of meditation. Royce took off his clothes, swam and then started running after Uro with no success. But just imagine a 60 year old man, naked, running after a fucking caracal in a beach xDDD Meanwhile Molk was enjying some scuba diving and seeing THINGS, but we don't know what. Nayah joined us later in the water and Alana used thunderwave to create huge waves! It was cool, Serena swam along with the big wave and then did the little mermaid with her hair, looking just like one. I'm very proud of that. I also used shape water to create penises and boobs in the air with water xDDD After that I ran out of the water and rolled over the sand until I reached Justin and joined him with my flute. It was all very chill then. Last thing we did was making our own stew with potatoes and fish, not very good but better than the inn's lol. Then went to said inn, drank a bit, saw Royce having a fight with a random dude and then basically going to bed!

THE NEXT DAY aka today's game:

We wake up, take our horses and head out of this town promising to our dear Nayah we'll come back to help with the pirates. We also heard there were some trouble with missing people and attacks in the road we had to take up north, so we tell her we'll investigate. Later that day we set camp and look around for clues on big animals or something that could be attacking travelers... turns out, a fucking undead demon thing shows up. I don't know the name of the creature, but it was like a skelleton dog with fire instead of meat or furr. He saw Nayah, so we had to fight. During the fight we got lucky and the thing didn't touch us. We could destroy it and see how the palading precisely got the HDYWDT and it was awesome, she sank her axe into the creature's skull, it broke in half and then the entire thing turned into ashes. From them, we found a medallion with the symbol of the Lord of the Hells or something like that. Royce wanted to keep it but Nayah talked him into not wearing the symbol of a forbidden and perverted faith that was based in hurting others. So, we decide to not tell this to anyone, unlike the giant-dragons thingy in the previous town, and maybe only tell the mayor/person in power in the next place. We agree to shut our mouths and go to sleep.

Next day, we take our things and horses and ride to the next town, a happier, richer place. Less inhabitants but many farming lands. A guard stops us to say hello and ask our business and we're told they only had problems with outlaws. And something about the mayor but I didn't really get what's the deal with that woman :/ Anyway, the guard kindly points us towards the two taverns in town and we go to the less expensive one. Still kinda expensive for our little money looool. There, Royce tries to pick a fight with another random man but the owner of the inn was there and threw a dagger to the table where they were almost getting into the fight. They stop, obviously, and we go talk to the woman. She was an adventurer too once, and she sees us as adventurers to be. The woman asks us what we want, we talk about drinks and rooms, and then Royce asks for rumors. Justin said he wanted to play in the little scenario so I told the woman we would perform the greatest show she's ever seen! So, while Royce and Alana kinda exchange rumors with the owner, I start thinking about what the hell I will do. Now, I'm very sorry for myself, Serena and you guys, because I was NOT paying attention to them talking. My anxiety went over the roof and all I could do was trying to plan a good show by myself. The thing is, Justin's player was trying to get wifi from a plaza outdoors because he doesn't have it nstalled in his new students' rooms yet! So we could only communicate during his turns very briefly and through text, that made it more difficult to share info and plan shit. WELL, I can only remember that at some point Nayah and Royce were talking about the Baroness and gods and being a good person?? Oh, and that this woman apparently may have deals with pirates, yes, that's why Nayah was kinda angry and wanted to really talk to the Baroness. If this woman has a lot of farming land, produces a lot of food, and then has deals with pirates to prevent other towns from fishing aka getting their own food and way of living... they'll depend or her and her product, thus making her more rich sinc they have to buy food from her lands.

That's all I can gather :/ I may ask in private another day...

After that, more people arrive to drink after the day’s work, including the mayor and some friends of the innkeeper!

When they all had their talk time, the DM gave us bards the chance to describe what we do. And here goes our performance, I'm very proud of it, I had ideas and the dice really blessed us tonight :__) First, Justin starts playing the lute from the bar where we were drinking. I follow him for a few steps and then rise my voice so I'm heard “Ladies, gentlemen, dear audience here in our beloved Chatty Troll (the tavern lol)! Tonight you'll be witnesses of a very peculiar performance from the hands of the most singular Justin Keis – give the man an applause!- and yours truly, Serena of Shalesteps!” /applauds to herself as well. The people were responding but not too interested yet. “Look closely, and don't miss a thing... WATCH THIS!”. I start tapping the scenario at the rythm of Justin's lute, clapping to encourage the audience to do te same. When I'm sure I have their attention I grab my two daggers and brand new stiletto, I play with them, throw them in the air, juggling while tapping the floor. Justin's music gets more intense, and so I conjure and illusion of an extra dagger right in the air. The tavern was IMPRESSED, people started cheering and clapping on their own. Justin made the music go more and more intense, and reaching the climax I put the blades away, put out my flute with some accrobatic moves and start playing with my companion. Then, I cast cloud of daggers and the audience GASPS, everyone surprised, applauding, going crazy for us! A kid tried to touch the daggers but I stepped in front of them and just started walking around the area to prevent any other curious hands that would probably be chopped off :) Justin decides to stop the intense music, so I puff away the daggers and let him do his more peaceful, quieter melody now. He starts playing something soft and beautiful, singing along, then I accompany the melody with my own flute. We play a bit more and when he signs me with his head, we both stop at the same time and bow.

EVERYONE WAS GOING CRAZY ABOUT IT. We had such good luck with the dice, dudes, some nat20s, some beautiful high rolls, we were LIT SHIT this evening. The people at the inn threw us money to the scenario, we got asked things, the innkeeper invited us to drinks and we could stay there for free, FREE! Yassss I'm so proud of us :__) This is a fucking dream, you guys.

The best part is, Serena saw two kids trying to play with knives and she went there and taught them things, just like when she was a little rascal of a girl and some circus guy taught her about throwing daggers ;__;

After that, Royce got into a fight, lost, we drank aaaaand end of the game! Most of us got drunk and woke up with a hangover, but that's a problem for next Tuesday. Aaaah I'm so hyped I can't sleep xD We had a BLAST! Bar fighting, performance, an undead demon dog thing from hell!

Best party ever, guys, I'm thrilled.

More next week! Sorry it's such a long read lol. Love you guys <3

[ganymedesclock]

I think a while ago you talked about how Pidge would be a Beast Tamer in a fantasy setting and Keith seems to often get compared to a knight in the show (shield&sword for bayard, assigned the knight pieces in the comic, etc) and we all know Allura's a (fairy) princess. So, based on the common troupes/character traits with certain fantasy roles, what do you think Shiro, Lance, Hunk and Coran would be?

Honestly I’d argue that Keith’s not really what I’d put as a knight in a pure high fantasy setting, so, I’m just going to go with a lot of my sensibilities/rough abilities that I sorted them into in Hallowed AU:

Pidge: Rogue (Beast master)

Not much to say here. Pidge offsets her own relative lack of staying power, reach, etc. with stealth, maneuverability, and tricky properties. It’s very popular to make her a wizard, but I’ve always thought it’d be interesting, rather than giving Pidge a massive font of magical power, for her to have a few very limited little magics, things she hasn’t had enough time to study or the materials to perfect since she’s on the road and on a mission, but a lot of experimentation and little flash grenades and glamours and sharp daggers. And probably poisons, too, considering her canon affinity for plant life coupled with, in this continuity, a fondness for cute little guys that just might be a little bitey if you aren’t her friend.

But of course, her bag of tricks is limited by necessity- she herself is small, slight, and not really kitted out for direct engagements. In this sense, the kind of creatures she’s liable to befriend fit nicely- she usually goes for the small ones, with the exception of Green- and even she’s small, nimble, and stealthy compared to her brethren. Just imagine Pidge fitting her faithful companion and steed with a set of saddlebags to carry all kinds of equipment and reagents without fear of them falling out if they run into trouble suddenly and need to launch evasive maneuvers.

Keith: Spellsword (Dark sorcerer)

What’s the point of having a long lost bloodline if it doesn’t give you spooky magic, right? Also, in a high fantasy setting, Keith is just set out to be a wizard. Boy’s a glass cannon, through and through.

My personal favorite spin on this is the idea of Keith’s capabilities being overwhelmingly self-taught, framing him as both kind of a prodigy, and in an awkward position since his particular brand of magic is really not socially acceptable or in fact, usually practiced by good people. Which, again, as a self-taught vagrant in the middle of nowhere puts him in just a bit of a pickle to explain himself to well-meaning local law enforcement.

No, if anybody’s a knight in here, it’s....

Shiro: Paladin (Mounted warrior)

Give him a hand-and-a-half sword, a shield with a royal crest, and some spiffy armor and just watch this guy sit straighter and carry himself as befitting a Defender Of The Realm, Ally of Justice, basically a faux-medieval superhero. While I like to reimagine the Lions in a fantasy setting as steeds, I can imagine Shiro and Black having a unique bond where they’re the most likely to actively wield proper cavalry tactics and fight more together than apart. Not that the others don’t fight together, but Shiro having like... actual training and an education in battlefield tactics and why you don’t leap over your allies’ shield wall when your enemies all have spears and you don’t wear armor, Keith.

The thing about knights is more than just Some Guy With A Sword, there’s a pretty big deal in most high fantasy about honor. “Chivalry” literally comes from the same root as cavalry, and while all of the team arguably fights for a higher, more noble cause, Shiro’s the kind of guy who I can see pursuing a career that lets him really dedicate his life to that higher cause, because frankly, whether or not he had a liege to serve and a sword in his hand, he’d be making a stand against injustice anyway. That’s just the kind of guy he is, and when we have an obvious liege that would look favorably on that sort of thing, it’s pretty clear what the result is.

Lance: Bard (Longbow fighter)

Not only is Lance a quintessential support class- he very naturally and easily falls back to let other people shine and picks off enemies with rather fearsome precision from a cozy distance- he’s someone who loves people, and, frankly, has a rather effective way with them. No, he’s not the casanova he sort of pretends he is, but he’s an actor, a charmer, a showman, and specific to Hallowed AU, he might just have a pinch of supernatural assistance in that regard.

My first reflex as weapon of choice would be a crossbow, since it has a lovely silhouette very similar to canon Lance’s rifle, but the longbow spoke to me, because the thing about Lance, is he’s very not a prodigy. This is a major point of contrast between him and Keith- and yet on several occasions in canon, we’re shown that people who are hard to impress (Commander Iverson, and the Red Lion) find Lance worthy of standing where Keith, the actual prodigy, once stood. This tells us that Lance is a hard worker. 

The longbow is a very difficult weapon- they say to train a longbowman, you start with his grandfather. That saying, for me, makes me want to put one in Lance’s hands in a fantasy setting for what it implies- about him, about his family. That he started young, that he likely hails from a family of, perhaps even generations of, archers. And of course he’s not going to say that, acknowledge training until his fingers bleed, or anything like that- he’ll goof off and show off- but there’s a certain obvious respect just him having that weapon and using it effectively and when he notches an arrow, draws that fairly heavy bow back, and fires with deadly accuracy.

Hunk: Fighter (Alchemist)

Hunk seems commonly sorted as a cleric and while I can appreciate that, I think personally Hunk doesn’t have the kind of patience to pursue a skill set where he can’t barge up to the thing chewing on his friends, who he is trying to keep healthy, thank you very much, and crack ‘em solidly in the teeth. He certainly has the muscle of a frontline fighter, and I can see Hunk wielding a simple, but sturdy crooked staff.

The real danger comes in the fact that while Pidge has a foot in the magical and the alchemical, higher education likely pointing to a more aristocratic background- I can see Hunk being someone of humble roots who, out of a combination of necessity and curiosity, learned how to fix, stitch, patch, scratch, and brew, just about everything.

Hunk who smugly goes “Yeah, well, I’m no wizard, but if all you need to knock a wall down,” lights the fuse on a homemade tied-off little packet and lobs it to a satisfyingly sized explosion, or who heard you were picking a fight and brewed up a batch of greek fire for the occasion. He’d probably leave the poisons to Pidge, though- someone who takes as much pride in the culinary arts as he does isn’t going to sully his cooking with anything if he can help it.

Allura: Mage Knight (multiple weapons)

Allura’s handiness with the bladed whip makes a lot of sense as athletic royalty who has the time and leisure to acquire unusual weapons and train with them heavily, though supplementing her more eclectic decision with something as ubiquitous and versatile as a pikestaff means that even caught unarmed, she only needs to lay hands on the nearest broom, or whatever other straight, sturdy piece of wood is around to be seized.

Her being a sacred princess possessing a grand holy power able to work miracles with the right setup frankly needs absolutely no modification for a high fantasy setting except more practice and proficiency in it given it’s more common and ubiquitous in this sort of world. As a personal addition for fun in this setting, the mice are full-tilt shapeshifters able to reconfigure themselves into different forms for Allura’s needs- able to be anything from horses to handmaidens to small but aggressive dragons.

Coran: Spymaster (swordsman)

I sort of like the idea of largely nonmagical Coran, following in the wake of magic using Alfor and Allura, and yet in a context where Allura would be surrounded by a proper royal court and a lot more attendants and advisers, I’d make changes to make sure Coran properly stands out himself- because really, he’s the royal family’s steadfast blade in the dark. If there is anything they need, he’s the kind of person they can trust absolutely.

And absolutely nobody is going to suspect the older, foppish nobleman loudly recounting the time he got peas stuck up his nose to a vaguely disquieted audience is an obstacle to an assassination plot until he very politely rests a blade against their jugular and informs them that they’re going to have a friendly little talk, over there, in the room full of surly guards, about trying to drop unapproved things in the princess’s drink.

Because frankly having quick reflexes, a keen eye, and a couple of shortswords hidden up your sleeves is a very fast route to being plenty dangerous. 

[bibleteachingbyolga]

When it comes to making important decisions or working through difficult, complex, and painful issues, experience has taught me two lessons about myself. First, if I wisely seek counsel — meaning I really attempt to inform myself with the necessary information and perspectives — the outcome is always better than if I don’t. Second, I frequently don’t want to do this.

Now, in light of the first, why do I struggle with the second? It seems foolish, and it is. For Scripture says,

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,  ��   but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)

The truth is, thanks to my remaining sin nature, I have an inner foolish part of me that believes I don’t need advice, or that seeking it will expose me in ways I don’t want others to see. Which means pride, fear, and shame can play roles in why I’m tempted to avoid seeking counsel.

My experience has also taught me that this is more or less true of everyone. We all need help in recognizing when our inner fool is influencing us to take a destructive course of action. Given my limited space here, I’ll save the issues of fear and shame for the future and focus on how pride can distort how we listen to advice. Let’s consider how the kind of foolishness we’re all prone to led one man to disaster.

Learning from a Bad Example

In 2 Chronicles 10, King Solomon has just died, and his son, Rehoboam, is preparing to assume Israel’s throne. All the people of Israel had gathered for his coronation. But before pledging their allegiance to him, the people present him with this request: that Rehoboam relieve the burdensome load of forced labor they had endured under Solomon. If he would grant this, they pledged, “We will serve you” (2 Chronicles 10:4). Before Rehoboam gives his answer to the people, he seeks out counsel first. By all appearances, this seems wise.

This is a defining moment for the heir to the throne. Rehoboam is about to illustrate the truth of Proverbs 12:15, but not in a flattering way.

First, he gathers the older men who had advised his father, men whose knowledge is surely seasoned with years of hard-earned experience, and he asks their advice. They offer this recommendation: “If you will be good to this people and please them and speak good words to them, then they will be your servants forever” (2 Chronicles 10:7).

What we’re told next, however, should set off our “wisdom level low” warning lights: Rehoboam “abandoned the counsel that the old men gave him, and took counsel with the young men who had grown up with him and stood before him” (2 Chronicles 10:8). Abandoned? Already?

The younger advisors give Rehoboam different advice: what he really needs to do is flex his regal muscle and subdue the people with brutal force (2 Chronicles 10:11). This is precisely what he does, and it results in a royal disaster. When he announces to the people his intention to be harder on them than his father was, most of Israel’s tribes renounce all allegiance to Rehoboam and choose their own king, splitting the nation in two.

Now, we should want to learn from Rehoboam’s disastrous example, since we have the same sinful pride dwelling inside us. We’ve all at times played the fool, believing we were right in our own eyes. I believe this story shows us three all-too-common ways our sinful pride can tempt us to foolishly turn away from listening to sound advice (Proverbs 12:15) and destroy the joyful deliverance and benefits God promises to those who walk in wisdom (Proverbs 28:26).

1. We underestimate our ignorance.

First, pride can tempt us to underestimate our ignorance. It’s amazing how much unfounded confidence we can place in the very little we know. We see this in Rehoboam. Regardless of how many decades the older men had in actual governing experience and their urgent sense of the people’s deteriorating trust in his father’s administration, the new king and his peers believed they knew better.

Their foolishness is clear when we read this story, but have we not also made poor decisions and errant plans, having ignored or neglected to even seek counsel, all because our uninformed perspective appeared right in our own eyes at the time? That’s what makes this manifestation of pride so dangerous: we often don’t perceive our error till it’s too late. Therefore, the wise man listens to advice even (and especially) when he thinks he knows what’s best.

2. We avoid appearing weak.

Second, pride can tempt us to avoid appearing weak. In the ancient Near East, the most respected, successful kings were typically strong and ruthless (and projected that image loud and clear). Rulers didn’t allow subjects to set the terms. What message would Rehoboam send domestically and internationally if he capitulated to his people’s demands?

Fear was likely at play too, since weak kings were targets for coups. And then there was that long shadow cast by his strong, famous father to escape. Therefore, Rehoboam’s decision was made not with faith in God’s power, nor with his people’s good in mind, but with his desired reputation primarily in view.

We, like Rehoboam, tend to be inordinately influenced by how our peers and cultures define strength and weakness. Our prideful reluctance to be viewed as weak can easily distort our decisions and plans. Therefore, the wise man seeks out and listens to advice that helps him to fear the Lord more than he fears appearing weak (Proverbs 1:7), and to love people more than he loves his reputation.

3. We predetermine the counsel we’ll accept.

Third, pride can tempt us to predetermine the counsel we’ll accept. We can see indicators in Rehoboam’s story that he already had determined what he wanted to do before seeking any counsel. It’s hard to imagine him carefully listening to both advisor groups, taking into consideration their relative experience, judiciously weighing each piece of advice in the context of his people’s condition, and reaching the conclusion he did.

His foolishness can’t even be chocked up to youthful naivete, since Rehoboam was 41 years old by that time (1 Kings 14:21). He already knew his young counselors’ perspective because they “stood before him” (2 Chronicles 10:8) — they were his team of advisors. And since we all know how power dynamics work, it’s likely these advisors were feeding Rehoboam what they already knew he wanted to hear. He wasn’t really looking for advice; he was looking for official validation of his predetermined plan.

This symptom of pride is subtly deceptive, both for us and for our counselors. We are prone not only to seek advisors who already agree with our perspective, but we can also frame an issue to more objective advisors in ways that invite the advice we desire. In other words, we can appear wise, while foolishly pursuing what’s right in our own eyes. Therefore, the wise man does not pack the jury or skew the evidence, but listens to advice offered by honest advisors from multiple perspectives who have heard all the relevant information.

Joyful Promise of Wisdom

Another proverb that puts a slightly different twist on the lessons from Rehoboam’s failures is this:

Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool,      but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26)

This proverb contains a precious promise for us if we’ll choose not to underestimate our ignorance, avoid appearing weak, or predetermine what counsel we’ll accept: deliverance from disastrous decisions. Rehoboam’s example illustrates the kind of devastating consequences that result from walking in foolish pride — pride we all recognize in ourselves and are tempted by.

The challenge of walking in wisdom, of seeking out wise counselors and listening carefully to their advice, is that on the front end it usually feels challenging and humbling. We’re told things we don’t want to hear. And yet, if we’ll walk this path of wisdom, it will, like “all the [faithful and loving] paths of the Lord” (Psalm 25:10), lead to joy and deliver us from self-inflicted disaster. Jesus says, “The way is hard that leads to life” (Matthew 7:14), and “Whoever would save his life will lose it” (Matthew 16:25). The path to joy is often through self-denial, while the path to misery is often through self-indulgence.

That’s why, when it comes to important decisions and plans, only a fool will trust his own mind, but the wise man will listen to good counsel.