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djarinsphere · 2 years ago

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The help of a stranger | Din Djarin

Din Djarin x female!reader

Summary: When you need it the most, a stranger is willing to help you out. The stranger becomes someone you love, but could he ever feel the same?

Warnings: mention of abuse (workplace related), canon-typical violence, angst, only partially proof-read

Words: 4.2k

A/N: This took me a while to write, but I hope all of you enjoy it. I love Din in this and I hope you do too! Lemme know what you think :)

Request | Masterlist

The Mandalorian was used to travelling alone. He wasn’t only used to it, he actually preferred it a lot. Whenever someone else was on his ship with him, it was usually a bounty and most of them were dead as soon as they entered his ship.

But things had been different for quite a while. Since he met the little child next to him, to be precise. Grogu had turned his life around in more ways than one but even simple things like travel had become quite different. He now had a child on board with him at all times and had to care for it while also doing his job to make sure they had enough credits to get through the days.

It would be a lie if he said he didn’t have any problems arising through this new situation. It was hard to navigate everything at the same time and still be able to do everything just as efficiently as before. That’s why he decided to finally get some help on the front of the kid at least. It was just hard to find someone suitable for that job. Someone that wasn’t going to rob him first chance they got.

Din didn’t even know where to start with this. He wasn’t going to put an advertisement out that would say “Seeking Nanny for green child”. The thought alone made his cheeks turn red.

It was a rather lucky incident that eventually lead him to finally find someone that would be able to care for Grogu.

After securing another bounty on a remote jungle planet, he decided that all the canned and warmed-up food in the Razor Crest wasn’t anything they should eat today. Besides, Grogu seemed to be a lot hungrier these days, so he would allow himself and his little companion to eat something better than whatever he stored on his ship.

The small cantina was filled with all kinds of people. Din could spot pilots from the New Republic, workers and a few people that kept their faces hidden with cloaks and masks. If he had to guess, he would have guessed that they were smugglers or bounty hunters. But smugglers was more likely.

“You’ll behave this time,” he told the green child that he carried with him. “I don’t want to cause a scene again like last time. You aren’t supposed to eat all the insects you can find.” While he had gotten rather used to Grogu’s strange eating habits, all the people around them didn’t know that the small kid could eat basically anything and that was normal. But Din found himself looking away every now and then when Grogu would put a particularly disgusting insect into his mouth.

A waitress welcomed them shortly after they stepped through the door. She led them to a table in the back and brought a high chair for Grogu. As soon as the waitress had turned around again, hurrying off towards another table, Grogu grabbed the small salt shaker on the table and started pouring its contents into his mouth.

Din was looking away in that moment, eyeing a table in the back where a card game was being played, but pistols were laying on the table, clearly ready to be used.

You were tired of working in this cantina. Your boss was just ordering you around all day, making you do even more work since the droid he had used before broke down. The work wasn’t the only problem though. It was the constant delay of your payment, the customers that were always treating you like something inferior to them and you could not stand the horrible sanitary conditions in the kitchen. And there wasn’t much possibility to change anything since your boss was always monitoring everyone and if things weren’t done the right way, or the way he wanted them, hell would be let loose.

Today, you were serving a Mandalorian warrior and a child that looked rather strange. You had never seen his species before, but you adored his huge green ears and his adorable eyes. After bringing them a high chair, you went back behind the counter to get a datapad ready that would display the menu. With the sleeve of your shirt, you brushed off some dust from the device’s screen, letting out a small sigh. These also needed to be overhauled. It was an old edition and you already had to explain to your boss that some of the datapads didn’t even work properly at this point. A few of them couldn’t be turned on anymore either.

When you made your way back to their table, you saw the Mandalorian looking away from his child that was emptying the salt shaker right into his mouth. “Uh-“ you started, unsure if you would be allowed to do or say something about it, but you doubted that consuming so much salt could be healthy – for anyone.

You gently tried to take the shaker from the little kid which made his ears drop almost immediately. He looked sad, frustrated and you instantly felt bad.

By the time you placed the salt back onto the table, the Mandalorian was looking at you. A shiver ran down your spine, in fear. You could feel your throat drying up. This cantina had seen a lot of Mandalorians already and a lot of them had been looking for trouble, oftentimes not even stopping at the staff. It was always a challenge for you to be face to face with masked Mandalorians. Or masked people in general. How were you supposed to tell if they were upset or not? How were you supposed to prevent bigger mishaps?

“I’m sorry, I-“ you started, trying to explain yourself. Maybe it had been an issue that you stopped the child from emptying the entire shaker. What did you know about little green children with huge ears?

“No, I’m sorry. He has to learn not to touch and eat literally everything,” the stranger interrupted you, taking the salt and pepper shakers further away from the baby.

Relief washed over you. You weren’t just happy that you didn’t upset him, but also that you didn’t cause a scene and your boss would have another reason to come after you. You were pretty sure that you were on the verge of being fired and while this place was awful, you didn’t really have anywhere else to go and finding work these days was pretty hard. Most people earned their money by hunting bounties for guilds or the New Republic, but you weren’t very skilled with any weapons. You knew how to defend yourself with a blaster in a worst case scenario, but that was about it.

You cleared your throat eventually, handing the Mandalorian the datapad. “You can find our menu on here. I will be back soon to take your orders,” you smiled friendly, trying to get back to the safety behind the counter. The Mandalorian simply nodded, before you turned away and made your way back to the counter. You checked the window to the kitchen quickly, not seeing any new meals that needed to be carried to the tables, so you took the time to refill the bottles of blue milk. Lots of them had gone empty since your boss didn’t keep an eye on it and you were busy tending to the customers.

You were about to close the second refilled bottle when your boss came around the corner, already an angry expression on his face. “Sir-“ you started, but he was quick to interrupt you. “Did I tell you to refill these?” His voice was loud, booming through the cantina as usual. You flinched visibly, immediately placing the bottle down on the counter again. “No, but I figured they might have to be refilled like usual,” you tried to explain yourself, heart beating wildly against your chest. You were frightened, again. You wanted nothing more than to get rid of this job.

“But I didn’t tell you to do that now!” His voice just got louder. You could feel everyone’s stares on you already, all of that making your hands shake immediately. “I’m sorry, I-“ Your words weren’t more than nervous stammers.

“This isn’t the first time you keep messing up. It’s always you that’s causing trouble.” All you had ever done here was try to get everything right. So many employees had already left but you didn’t and now this is what you got for all of it. Not that you could have afforded to leave. But during your time here, you still didn’t want to mess up.

“Maybe I should finally get rid of you. This is your last shift.”

You knew the shock was written on your face. An uncomfortable silence spread in the room that had been so loud just a few minutes earlier. Your heart threatened to stop as well. Where were you supposed to go? How were you supposed to survive? You didn’t have many savings, your rent was incredibly high and you had no idea where to find a new job.

You were left standing in shock when your boss turned around and went back into the kitchen. You gulped, the world around you spinning for a second. Your hand found the counter to support you somehow, trying to prevent your fall. This was horrible. All of this was horrible.

You made sure to pack everything that belonged to you into your bag when the cantina closed later that evening. It wasn’t much. You had just kept a mug around to fill yourself a drink every now and then. And had left a jacket in the kitchen in case it would get colder than usual. Of course, you wouldn’t miss this place, but you would miss the money you received. How were you supposed to pay the bills now?

Your only hope might be a cleaning job in one of the New Republic office facilities. But you had to get off this planet for that first.

Your thoughts were interrupted though when you saw the Mandalorian standing outside the building, seemingly waiting for you. Was he waiting for you?

He approached pretty quickly then and you could hear a small sigh leave his lips. “I saw what happened earlier.” Of course he did. Everyone did probably.

“I think everyone did,” you replied, visibly frustrated at the memory. You didn’t only get fired, you got fired in front of so many people.

“Probably,” the Mandalorian added, looking around for a moment. He seemed kind of nervous for some reason, putting one of his hands on his hip. “Do you already have an idea of where to go? Job-wise?”

It was a strange question. From a stranger specifically. Yet you decided to answer it truthfully. “No. I have honestly no idea what I will do now.” Tears were making their way into your eyes, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. How could this get even more embarrassing? You were now even crying in front of a stranger.

The Mandalorian seemed to be a bit overwhelmed by your reaction, looking around helplessly and almost avoiding your gaze. He seemed to think for an awful long time, a time where you could feel more and more shivers rising up in your body.

Eventually, he spoke again. “I think I have a job for you. If you want.”

Looking back, it might have been a bit foolish to just follow a bounty hunter you barely knew through the galaxy. But Din Djarin, as you had found out, never mistreated you even once. “The Job” you had been offered consisted of looking after the small child. It wasn’t the easiest job, especially since both Din and Grogu had a habit of getting into trouble quite often and you were the one that had to stick around and stitch them back together or make sure that Grogu didn’t get into too much danger.

Almost a year had passed since you had left your old home behind and started to find a new one within the Razor Crest. Travelling the galaxy was intriguing and you got to see so many new places. Desert planets, jungle planets… things you couldn’t even imagine before. You had met new species, talked to more people than you probably had your entire life and tried so many new foods that you could barely keep track of them anymore.

Din was a quiet travel companion but you noticed that with each passing month, he started to open up a bit more. First, your conversations consisted mostly of small talk and what mischief Grogu had been up to again. But then, he slowly started to tell you about some bounties he had done in the past, about planets he had visited and worries he had about your next destination.

You also dared to open up more, especially about your time as a waitress, about everything that came before he gave you the chance to escape your miserable life back home. Din was a great listener. With time, your conversations got longer, the topics more meaningful and you sound found yourself talking about your biggest fears. Din was open with you about the fact that he was constantly worried about Grogu, that he had no idea how finding a Jedi was going to work out for him. You were honest with him about the fact that you didn’t really have anything but him, the child and your travels together.

During all these talks, often happening late at night or while the stars were rushing by in hyperspace, you could feel yourself growing more and more fond of the Mandalorian. One night he told you about how he invented a rock game with other foundlings when he was a child, laughter making their way past his helmet. And every laugh left more butterflies in your stomach. Soon enough, you were filled with them, just like the smile was not able to leave your lips anymore. These conversations made you happy, let you feel safe and his voice started to become the most beautiful sound you could hear. And every time he retreated back to his bunk for the night, leaving you on your pile of blankets and pillows, you felt a sting in your chest, like something you loved dearly was gone again.

With time, it became harder and harder for you to hide your feelings. You knew Din might be oblivious to some advances made by others – you had witnessed that yourself – but he would surely notice that your behaviour changed. Seeing each other every day, it would be inevitable. But you were determined to try your best at hiding whatever was going on inside you.

Maybe it led to less late night talks, less meals spent together, but you were trying to save yourself from more hurt coming towards you. Not being able to act on your feelings was one thing, but being openly rejected would be another. At least you would be able to have the fantasies in your head.

Today, you were sitting on the ramp of the Razor Crest, Grogu next to you, playing with his favourite toy – a ball. You watched him with a smile on your face. Din was out buying supplies and you decided to stay back and watch over Grogu here. It was like that a lot of the time. And sometimes Din would come back from a fight, armour dirty and sometimes even mildly injured.

That was also one of the reasons why you didn’t dare to tell him about you how felt. He was a warrior, strong, brave and able to stand his ground. He had a presence, a strength, you could never match. You weren’t even able to hold your blaster properly sometimes.

In your head, you imagined Din would like to have a partner, a riduur, that would be able to fight. Mandalorians were warriors and you were neither of these. Getting Din to open up had taken a long time, but learning how to fight for him would take even longer.

You could only dream about being with him.

Din was carrying a large bag with supplies when he came back to the Razor Crest. He already saw the two of you from afar and something about the way you played with Grogu, eventually picking him up and placing him in your lap, made his chest feel warm. His entire body started to feel warm, cheeks included. If he wasn’t wearing the helmet, the blush in his face would have betrayed all that was going on inside him.

You were simply wonderful in his eyes. There was also a certain calmness he felt whenever he saw you with Grogu. You were like a mother to the little green child, but you had also become his calm in a storm. The Razor Crest had never felt like home as much as it did with you in it.

But how could he ever explain all of this to you?

A few more weeks passed and as did the stars in hyperspace. They were rushing past you on your way to a new planet, a new location, where Din had located a bounty he was after. You were sitting next to him in the cockpit, watching the different screens and buttons. One day you would finally at least get the courage to ask Din to show you the basics of flying. For now, you didn’t want to seem annoying. Not that he had ever given you the impression that he could be annoyed by you.

It was just your own doubts. And the fact that you were probably not anything like an ideal travelling companion or partner for him. Other people surely knew how to navigate a ship, get rid of pirates and care for a child.

“Do you already know what to expect?” You asked eventually, breaking the silence. Din turned his head towards you. You always wondered what eyes were hidden behind that helmet. Behind that dark visor that you couldn’t see past.

“A bunch of smugglers that settled down in the woods. I’m supposed to bring their leader back to the client,” he explained, hand coming up to fix the armour on his shoulder. There was an urge in your fingertips to help him, but you held back.

After months of living together, travelling together, you had learned to hold back, even though you wanted nothing more but to finally touch him. Just somehow. Somewhere.

“Then I will already wish you good luck. I can wait here with Grogu again, if you want.” It was always easier for him to do his job without having Grogu, and now you, around. Not having to watch after a little kid while fighting was definitely a blessing you could get behind. So whenever it worked, you just stayed back on the ship with the little green one.

Din walked off into the forest as soon as you had landed. You left the ramp open again, but sat down on some tree stumps, letting Grogu play around in the grass. He was surely putting a few bugs into his mouth but as you had learned, it wasn’t harmful to him and he was never not hungry.

You still kept an eye on him. Din had told you about how important Grogu seemed to be to some people, for his abilities, and that they wouldn’t shy away from getting to him at all costs. You never let him out of your sight at all.

It seemed to take Din forever. The sun had gone down already, but he hadn’t returned yet and slowly, worries were starting to spread inside you. What if something happened to him? What if he was bleeding out somewhere and couldn’t make it back to the ship? What if he had gotten lost in the woods? So many questions, unanswered.

With every passing minute, your worries just grew. The worst scenarios started to form in your head. You could almost see Din’s armour in front of you, the shiny beskar covered in blood and dirt. His painful groans echoed in your head without actually being there. Panic was rising inside you. He had never been gone for that long.

You started to pace around, Grogu sensing your discomfort and sitting on a stump, watching you without much movement. You weren’t sure if you were confident enough in your skills to go looking for him. It had been hours since he had disappeared between the trees and there was no way you would be able to find your own way in those woods. You had no experience navigating anything beside a busy cantina.

Hope rose inside you as you spotted a figure in the shadows though. Same height as Din, almost the same built. Almost. This person as a lot broader, face covered as well, but with a mask of a different kind. A hood was pulled into their face and your heart almost stopped. This wasn’t Din. Without standing around much longer, you grabbed Grogu, pressed him against your chest and wanted to make a run for the Razor Crest.

But someone was also standing behind you, blocking the entry into your ship. You gulped, panic filling your body completely. What were you supposed to do? Your hands turned sweaty, but you knew you had to find a solution or else you and Grogu would be damned. You needed to make a move now. The man in front of you just kept coming closer and closer. With every step, he sent another shiver of fear through your body.

Then you could feel your limbs again and everything in your head was screaming Run!. So you did. You ran into the woods, hearing fast steps behind you, but you were good at running at least. Grogu was hiding his face in your top, the little child shivering as you carried him through the unknown forest. Branches scratched against the exposed skin of your arms, leaving it bloody and red.

It seemed like an eternity, running and running, and slowly, your lungs were starting to give in. You stumbled, again and again, until you met the hard ground, stone pushing into your hands, sending pain through your arm. Your knees hurt, scrapped open, your legs weak from the running while you were still desperately trying to breathe.

Then there was the cold metal of a blaster against your head, tears streaming from your eyes. You were really going to die here. And you weren’t able to protect Grogu at all. He would be taken away, Din would come back and find you both gone. If he was still alive.

“Please-” you started, already expecting the laser to hit you, but it never did. The pain never came, the sound never filled your ears.

Instead, you heard a dull sound and the cold feeling on your head left. You turned around, looking at the Mandalorian.

“Din,” you breathed out, more tears coming from your eyes. Relief. You were overcome with relief, the feeling taking control of your entire body. Grogu sat down on the ground as you leaned against a stone, trying to get your breathing even again. But your eyes never left the man in front of you.

The person that had attacked you laid on the ground, motionless. But Din was staring at you, through the dark visor once more. “Are you alright?” He asked. The trembling of his voice could not be hidden. He was worried, worried sick.

“Are you alright?” He asked again, sinking down in front of you. His gloved hands cupped your head, the rough leather moving over your cheeks.

Even though you couldn’t see his face, his body language betrayed him. He was shivering slightly, his breath faster than usual and all calm had left him completely.

“I’m alright. Just a few scratches,” you nodded, a hand finding its way on top of his. You gave his hand a slight squeeze and for a moment, he seemed to become even more tense. Until he wasn’t anymore.

A weight fell off his shoulders and his arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him. His armour was hard against you, but you could hear the beating of his heart and for a moment, the pain in your limbs didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered.

“I was so afraid to lose you. I-” He kept you in his arms, even as he spoke. “I have come to care for you a great deal. There are some feelings I can’t really put into words.”

He didn’t have to say more. You understood. It filled you with warmth, head to toe, with butterflies in your stomach and a smile on your lips. The pain was something from the past for now. Knowing that Din seemed to feel the same about you was all you had wanted for so long.

“I was worried about you too. You were gone for so long and… I also don’t want to see you hurt. Ever. I don’t want to walk the galaxy without you.”

Din let out a sigh, his gloved hand moving soothingly over your hair.

“You will never have to go anywhere without me, cyar’ika. I’m here to protect you.”

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happy-beeeps · 1 year ago

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Day 5: Cold

Summary: you and din get stuck in a freezing cave on Hoth, what better time to start unpacking some trauma!

Warnings: discussions of lost, past trauma, pulling away. Hurt/comfort but ultimately fluff!

WC: 1.1k

A/N: heyyyy this is a day late because I worked all my jobs yesterday, it was going to be smut as a “sorry” but then trauma and hurt comfort so I was like hm this feels like a weird place for smut SO just keep your eyes peeled later ;)

You’re not sure exactly when you knew this would be a disaster, but you were kicking yourself for not saying anything earlier.

Din was in one of his moods—had been all morning. In fact, during the cold, biting trek across Hoth he had been even more stoic and quiet than normal. As if it was even possible. He’d been like this; reserved, determined, bitter, since the Jedi had left with Grogu. That had been two weeks ago. Two weeks of aimless wandering, without his foundling, without his creed.

He hadn’t hardly touched you since, save for a small brush of his hand on your skin or a sharp tug when you almost wandered into something sharp. You were reeling from the loss too but, admittedly, he had felt it more.

And so you ended up in moments like this. Stuck in a shallow ice cave on some random spot on Hoth, teeth chattering against the bitter cold, while Din tried to start some sort of fire. All the way, the puck blinked red, on and off. Close enough to pick up on transmission but far enough that you had decided to camp for the night.

“C’mere,” his voice cuts out through the cold air, and he moves just minimally from his spot, opening your view up to the small fire he’s started. “Anyone would be crazy to go out in this blizzard, figure we’re fine to rest here for the night.”

“Crazy like us, right?” You tease, moving to sit near him. When he doesn’t give you the half laugh he’s been giving the last few days you look up, concerned.

His head is in his hands, his shoulders slumped. You almost move to check his pulse if it weren’t for the heavy, ragged breath coming through the modulator. “I’m sorry I’ve done this to us.”

“Din, done what?”

“I’ve put us in danger, put you in danger. I should’ve known the blizzard would’ve been too much, we could’ve found an outpost or something.”

“This is nothing, we’ve got our packs, we’ll be fine, remember when we first started traveling together, and I started gambling with that guy on Kijimi-“

“This is nothing like Kijimi.”

Your eyebrows cock up and you move to put a hand on his shoulder, “how is this not like Kijimi?”

“Because I was able to protect you, to protect our family, on Kijimi.”

Ah. There it is. The words he hasn’t spoken for weeks are finally slipping through, and all you can do is hold his back and press your head to his shoulder. “Grogu leaving us has nothing to do with you not being able to protect him.”

“But he wouldn’t have fallen into Gideon’s ship in the first place if I had.”

“And the Jedi would have found him anyways. Din, you’ve lost so much. You can’t let all of this fall on you.”

It’s his turn now to attempt to joke and he sighs, lifting up his helmet and discarding it on the ground. “Watch me.” He’s smirking, but the joke doesn’t make it to his eyes, heavy with an emotion akin to sadness.

“There you are,” you move, cupping his cheeks with your hands. You’re envious of the thin layer of sweat that’s on his face, remembering how warm his helmet has been the few times you’ve had it on. “You can’t keep holding this all by yourself. Your family is bigger than Grogu.”

“It’s also the covert,” he starts and you move up on your knees to press a kiss to his forehead. He closes his eyes at your touch immediately.

“It’s also me.”

The two of you sit in a comfortable silence after that for a while, not wanting to break the bubble of peace you’ve found for a brief moment. It works, Din relaxes a bit against your touch, his breathing finding its way to your neck and his lips pressing themselves against the juncture of your jaw. “Don’t deserve you sweet girl.”

You shake your head softly, fidgeting against his arms to face him, “you deserve all the softness and sweetness this world can give you. And then some.”

The kiss he responds with is gentle, longing, and you lap it up instantly. He’s warm and soft against your lips, and the two of you take turns breathing life back into one another. He nips at your bottom lip for a moment, then settles on pulling back and just sitting there for a moment, breath softly fanning across your cheeks. You don’t move to initiate more. He’ll come back fully in his own time. For now you just breathe him in, feel the taste of his lips on yours, and just exist.

He pulls back after another moment, and moves towards the pack he’s been carrying. You’re bundled up in your (and his) thickest winter gear, so while you’re bitterly cold, you don’t think you’re at risk of losing a limb. You hope Din would be able to at least sense that. You watch as he pulls a blanket from the pack, laying it down against the snow covered ground, near enough to fire for warmth but not quite close enough that you’d be at risk of hurting yourself, as you are want to do.

He fishes another, thicker blanket from the bag and motions you towards the pile, opening his arms to you. You move to happily claim your spot tucked in his side right below his neck, but he pauses, reaches and passes you his helmet.

“It’ll keep you warm.”

Your mouth opens and closes like a fish in response, and he rolls his eyes before unceremoniously plopping it on your head.

“Lose heat fastest through your head and your feet.”

“But… it’s your helmet.” Your voice comes through modulated and even, it hides the small cracks from the sheer sentiment of the gesture.

“I don’t think I can be made an apostate twice.” Again, the joking smile returns, and again does not make its way up to his eyes.

You relent, and spend the rest of the night against his arm, tucked in warm thanks to the helmet and the blankets. You drift off into an easy sleep, filled with dreams of the two of you, the Razor Crest, and a little green baby.

When you awake the next morning, his helmet is back on, and the light is blinding off the ice walls of the cave. You’ve both survived (limbs in tact) and the whole world seems brighter. Perhaps Din notices it to, as he helps you up and holds you for just a moment longer. You look straight past the dark T of his visor as if to look in his eyes, and press a hand to his cheek. You can’t see his eyes close against your touch but you know they do, the two of you united as you step out into the bright, cold air.

#star wars #the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin imagine #the mandalorian x reader #sw imagine #dincember 2023

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notmykirk · 1 year ago

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Concordia

Description: You scrunch up into a ball as the boar collides with you, its tusks bouncing off your beskar with a terrifying scrape, metalic on metal. You cry out and are thrown across the ground. Your head is spinning as the boar rounds on you again. Mandalorian!Reader, prequel to Nar Shaddaa. Fandom: Star Wars Pairing: Gen Word Count: 2.4k+ Warning(s): Violence.

At the edge of Mandalorian space, a war rages amongst the stars.

You are reminded of this occasionally, when Mandalore and its sun dip below the broken mountain peaks of the Bladeback Palisades. The stars of so many distant worlds, for those few precious minutes that they exist in yours, blink down at you, and suddenly you are reminded of the vastness of the galaxy and all its fears and strife and tragedy.

In a single hour, however, Concordia’s brief night fades and with it, the stars blur, then disappear altogether once twilight returns. All that exists after that witching hour is the ground beneath your feet, the smell of raw beskar, and the distant threat of New Mandalore as it rises once more over the horizon.

And life goes on--mundane on the grand scale of Kad Ha’rangir’s palm.

***

Concordia is a harsh mix of barren cliffs, evidence of the brazen strip mining that had once taken place on the moon, and dense forests of dry, coniferous trees. The ground cover is bare, but growing back, and every creature that roams the surface steps lightly. The life on this moon is tough, and like a Mandalorian, it fights to survive. Every year you are one step closer to your ancestral homeland as the moon recovers its ecosystem bit by bit.

This is all thanks to the conservation efforts pushed forward by Pre Vizsla and Duchess Satine. They are stewards--and this type of change, you welcome with open arms. This is one thing all Mandalorians can agree on: wars are synonymous with the destruction of planets.

You barely notice the weight of the ballistic rifle in your hands as you steady it, elbows braced on the ground as you lay at the edge of the cliff beside your Alor. Your gloved thumb ghosts over the engraved metal without complex thought as you peer down the scope, searching the endless landscape for movement.

The vegetation in the valleys below is a dark grey-green under the soft light reflecting off the face of Mandalore. Rarely does Concordia receive direct sunlight, and so the moon is blanketed with this quiet, everlasting twilight that visitors are so enchanted by, but you’ve grown used to.

There is no shade, nowhere to hide. The light is flat, almost wraps around objects so their shadows are soft and thin, and it is silent except for the faint breeze carding through the shrubs and twisted trees. You lay flat on the ground, back bent at an angle due to the thickness of your breastplate. Beside you, your Alor shifts on her stomach, pulls her hands back to wipe a smudge off her binoculars, then returns to her original position and stills.

Another five minutes pass in silence. Your nose itches inside your helmet, and you scrunch your face, then bite your tongue, struggling to ignore that annoyance.

In that moment of distraction, your Alor exhales sharply, and your focus is immediately honed back to the edge of a knife. “There, five klicks out, two towards the ridgeline, by the tree with the broken top.”

You blink, then pan your rifle to the right and catch the target in your sights--a family of Bladeback boars. You feel for the knob on the side of the scope, then zoom in close enough so you see the tan of their fur, the black tusks protruding from their snouts and the grey of their eyes. Some have the pale markings of adolescence, others are older and more refined. You follow a piglet with your scope as it struts after its mother, bumping into her legs.

They are huddled around a dingy puddle, bowing their heads and sticking their long tongues out to drink the muddy water. You frown. That water is probably poisoned. Any runoff in this area is soiled by the mining operation on the mountains above.

Your Alor pushes herself up with a grunt that betrays her age. “Do you have a clear shot?”

“For which one?”

“The largest.”

You pan your rifle over the group in search of a decent target, then pull the trigger easily in answer to her question. The pop of your rifle is deafening, and the sound rolls down the canyon walls and shakes the trees so a group of black birds take to the skies in fright.

The weapon is ancient and traditional, and its ballistic nature sends it slamming back into your shoulder in recoil. You grunt when the scope of your rifle knocks against the face of your helmet, and flinch, embarrassment hot across your face at the blunder, then regard the target through your scope, bucking and running from you, with the tracking bullet lodged in its shoulder. A ribbon of blood spills from the wound.

She gives you a hard stare, then says plainly, “Well done.” Though you find it difficult to swallow down your anxiety, you grip the rifle and nod. The sudden tilt of her helmet suggests she wants to say more when she is interrupted by the distant roar of a sublight engine entering the atmosphere.

You can’t help but wonder if it’s yet another government official from Mandalore Prime coming to step on Concordia’s toes. Governor Visla does a good job keeping the new government at bay, using politics to push Condordia’s agenda without inviting the tourism upper-class Mandalorians seem so convinced they are entitled to, but there are always a few beetles who fall through the cracks.

You see the ship now as it jets overhead and frown. It is definitely from Mandalore.

Those Mandalorians wealthy enough to make it off-world don’t appreciate land for what it is, something that you belong to more than it could ever be useful or beautiful. They come to poke around your nature reserves, to admire the flora without knowing their names and to prove themselves ignorant of the life that inhabits the valleys and mountains kept watch over by House Viszla’s halls.

Mandalore is destroyed. It is barren and empty except for their massive city cubes. Those from Mandalore Prime did that to themselves, and once they finished destroying their planet, they tried to tear Concordia down from its sky alongside it--and they are still trying, whispering that Concordia’s massive and sprawling mines should not remain cold--as if they have any need for Beskar when they no longer wear armor.

No, Mandalore is weak. It is cursed along with anyone who steps foot on it. It is a ghost above your head, a grim reminder of the past and present and its future as well. It is wreckage and ruin and trying its best to spread its wasting disease to your home.

Your Alor sighs heavily, and you both turn back to regard the boars. They are gone from sight, though the tracking beacon on your Alor’s hip hints at their direction. The two of you stand and descend the cliff.

***

The digital interface of your helmet handles the dark easily, automatically adjusting its shading to your preferred light and contrast levels. Branches scrape across the dome of your helmet as you begin to pick your way across the forest floor. The ground here is treacherously soft, needles forming a springy carpet around jagged boulders and rocks–discarded from various mining operations, then washed down from the mountains during the month of rain.

You follow your Alor across the rough terrain as she leads you through the dark, nervousness beginning to eat at your stomach and numb the tips of your fingers. You do not pay attention to where you are being led, and instead stare at the ground and count your footsteps in pairs of two.

Slowly, your Alor draws to a standstill and kneels behind the trunk of a sickly tree. You freeze and crouch behind her.

She reaches a hand up to brush a branch out of the way, and sure enough, there is the boar you shot with the tracker, its shoulder wet and stained black, though no longer bleeding as badly as it had been when you last saw it.

On level ground you can truly realize the size of Bladeback Boars–they are larger than you or even your Alor by at least a foot, though this one does not have as much meat as it should. Its bones are like a tanning rack and its patchy hide hangs loosely off them.

You watch silently, your stomach twisting in knots, as your Alor pulls the folded spear from behind her jetpack, then expands it with a flick of her wrist, the beskar ringing dully–the sharpened tip glowing in the twilight.

The boars head flicks towards the two of you, its small, red eyes instantly suspicious and scanning the treeline.

When your Alor turns and holds the spear out for you to take, you trade it in silently for the rifle on your back, then force yourself with all the confidence you possess to stand and approach the boar in the open.

You were, in theory, prepared for what comes next.

The electric crackle of the tracking bullet shocking the boar–the hoarse squeals and subsequent furious red glare–these are all things you’ve seen before, just never with the spear in your own hands.

The beast’s eyes are beady, furious, not those of an animal meant to be hunted. It huffs out heavy lungfuls of steam, scraping the ground with its front toes. Its three, long tusks sway dangerously, their points almost glint in the light, sharper than the spear’s.

You tighten your grip on your weapon and stand your ground. This is what it is to be Mandalorian, because to fight is to be alive. Through struggle you can embrace life.

Another cruel shock is delivered by your alor from her vambrance, and the Boar squeals with rage, then charges you. Concordia all but melts away.

Something rushes over you, takes away your agency. You no longer have a name or identity, a body of your own. You are solely an instrument with a task, with The Way, and your heart beats in time with the hoof beats of the boar as it charges.

The first parry makes your stomach drop. You underestimated the strength of the boar–its shaggy appearance by no means matching its strength. The tip of one of the boar’s tusks scrapes across your chestplate, chipping the paint down to sparking metal, shoving you backwards. It shakes your confidence, and that sudden cold shock of fear clears the calm fog in your head.

***

New Mandalore is a pale yellow-white disc in the sky, shrouded in Concordia’s twilight and they have forsaken Kad Ha’rangir and they have forsaken their foreclans–everything that those ancestors learned and achieved in the hopes that those who follow might one day lead Mandalore towards the future. They have shed their armor and with it their past. They have no Way, no Truth, no Honor or Vision–

Even without the open secret of Concordia’s involvment with Death Watch and Pre Viszla’s hand in guiding those true Mandalorians still left back to The Way, you still despise that disc in the sky and–

***

You are hit on the floor. The spear rolls out of reach. The boar charges.

“Buir!” you squeak. “Mom, help me!”

“Stand your ground.” An order is barked.

You scrunch up into a ball as the boar collides with you, its tusks bouncing off your beskar with a terrifying scrape, metalic on metal. You cry out and are thrown across the ground. Your head is spinning as the boar rounds on you again.

Fear drains like color from your face; hot and cold and debilitating.

There are no thoughts left in your head.

You push yourself up to your feet. The spear is still too far away. The boar charges once more and its tusks nearly graze your chestpiece, then you quickly sidestep and squeeze your fist so the vibroblade hidden in your vambrace ignites into angry, solid plasma.

You plant your foot, then carry your momentum through with a quick jab into the boar’s side. The followthrough of your strike is so vicious that your fist itself collides with the boar’s tough hide.

With another piercing squeal, the boar’s momentum carries it another couple steps before it tips over and collapses onto the forest floor, needles and dust sent flying through the air at the impact.

You stare at the dead animal, shivering so badly your knees give out and you collapse onto the ground, unable to unclench the fist igniting your hidden vibroblade. You bury your hands into the soft groundcover, and the acrid smell of burning vegetation makes its way through your helmet’s air filters as you continue to shake. Steam lifts from the forest floor as the blade burns a hole into the ground.

“Ad’ika,” your mother rumbles, “you did well.”

She approaches the boar, pressing her palm to its fatal wound, then she moves to kneel in front of you. She glances down at your shaking hands, then cups the concave cheek of your helmet and lowers her forehead to yours in a kedalbe.

You squeeze your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath, thankful that she cannot see your tears. You bow your head, though danger still runs through your veins, and attempt to speak.

“Thank you.” you croak, voice cracked and hoarse.

The moment is broken when a number of ships lift off from over the cliff where the Kantorek Mine sits just behind you, abandoned at face value, known to those on Concordia as the comfortable staging area of Death Watch.

There is an explosion, blaster bolts are sent flying into the sky, and then the final ship takes off. The boar is still bleeding just feet from where you are knelt.

You and your Alor share a look before she stands, her armor illuminated with the blue glow of a dozen ships’ sublight engines. They rapidly ascend from the atmosphere, Death Watch leaving Concordia without warning.

Something has happened.

“Come,” your Alor says, her voice cutting clear through your muddied head.

You pry your fingers from their fist, your vibroblade retracting into your vambrace, then push yourself up onto your feet.

New Mandalore is still a pale disc above your head, watching with a vacant, hollow glare.

You can feel it, all around you, just at the edges of Mandalorian space the Clone Wars rage. Concordia is a weed that grows through a crack in a courtyard, but you can’t help but wonder if once more, New Mandalore has brought ruin to your doorstep.

Masterlist | Posting Schedule

#sw #tcw #sw imagine #tcw imagine #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #captain rex imagine #rex imagine #tcw x reader #sw x reader #star wars

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temaranthis · 2 months ago

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yknow how Obi-wan and Quinlan are really close friends and that probably means Aayla and Anakin have a weird sibling/cousin relationship. and that make way for some really funny stuff.

for example, the jedi got to pick battalion colors at the beginning of the war, and Aayla's blue right? so she's like, "hm, it'd be fun if i matched with my men right?", and she goes the next morning and find out that Anakin, the little shit, has already taken blue. He doesn't even like blue.

and thats my little headcanon about how the 501st ended up being painted blue.

#im not saying anakin's the annoying baby sibling but im not not saying it either #just imagine all the shit they get up to #and aaylas master was quinlan theres no way shes sane #clone wars #star wars #star wars headcanons #the 501st #aayla secura #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #quinlan vos #star wars the clone wars #the clone wars #the clones #attack of the clones #sw tcw

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uncharted-constellations · 2 months ago

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Back to our originally scheduled programming, Minish Cap!

Edit: Redid Zelda because she was bothering me

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malacandrax · 7 months ago

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Sex worker/Charity worker Halstarion AU ---

AU TAG To read them in order: [Part 1- Meeting] [Part 2-Embellish] [Part 3-Theory] [Part 4- Number] [Part 5- Bruise] [Part 6- Scenic] [Part 7- Nice Things (that's this one!)] [Part 8-Pizza]

#halstarion sw au #halstarion #bloodbear #halsin #astarion #listen #would he be alone on the street apart from one guy?probably not #but I do not want to draw more people #imagine some more of cazadors swers hanging about #also if astarion is chatting to halsin to this extent its because cazador is elsewhere that night #halsin does not know how bad it is yet #thats why he's not pushing much #my art

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stars4ani · 9 months ago

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♡ nsfw 18+

︎ ♡ ੈ✩‧₊ being pushed into a small storage closet was not foreign to you, in fact, it had become routine. after every mission, you had waited for anakin with open arms, only to be shoved into the nearest room. his roughness would depend on the outcome of the mission. if it didn’t go as well as he hoped? you’d be gagging on him, he’d be merciless.

“shit… fuck” anakin skywalker’s words shoot straight to your core. looking up at him helplessly, your weak hands aimlessly claw at his back. another pained moan escapes your lips as his thrusts deepen, tip brushing against your cervix.

“please anakin p-please” you beg, unsure what exactly it is you’re begging for.

“just..” he trails off, and his large hands are suddenly clamped over your mouth. “just shush for a while, yeah? had a hard day, you don’t wanna make it harder on me do you?”

#♡anakin #i kinda hate this #but first post here yay #anakin skywalker smut #anakin x reader #anakin smut #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker #anakin x you #anakin drabble #anakin skywalker drabble #anakin fanfiction #sw anakin #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x reader

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swedenis-h · 1 year ago

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When did it happen?

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xzaddyzanakinx · 4 months ago

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Not That Kind of Guy

Part Eighteen: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink(Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, public/semi-public, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, bondage/blindfolds, biting/slapping/ spanking/cutting, rape kink, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, blood, knife, GEN. SMUT, period sex, brief mention of cannibalism/maggots[All possible tags listed, all may not apply] warning: suicidal ideation

Info: Anakinnnn your misogyny is showing, he’s insanely manipulative like so much more than normal[diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread.MDNI 18+

September 16th 4:00ish am

Anakin returned from the shower quickly, his dark hair being ruffled up with his towel as he walked into the bedroom where you waited for him, tucked in on your side of the bed with the tv still playing softly in the background.

“Ready to talk?” Anakin gave you a lopsided smile, crawling up on the bed and joining you under the covers. He leaned back against the headboard and pulled you close, up under his arm.

“Ready.” You nodded quietly, unsure of where this conversation was headed and if you even wanted to find out.

“You look a little green around the gills sweetheart, you okay?” He asked, petting your cheek with the back of his hand.

“I’m okay Ani, I’m just… anxious I guess.” You said softly, trying to reassure him with a small smile but only making him worry more by your reaction.

“Hey, don’t stress.” He said, kissing the top of your head, nuzzling into your hair. “It’s nothing scary.”

“Look, I know I should’ve told you this a long time ago.” He whispered, holding your hand and running his thumb over your knuckles. “I love you and I promise I’ll understand if you get upset after hearing this. You’ve every right to punch me in the face.”

“I’m not gonna punch you in the face.” You breathed a little laugh.

“That’s yet to be decided.” He sighed, squeezing you against his chest with his free arm. “So, you remember how my mom was all odd about stuff when you met her?”

“I wouldn’t say she was ‘odd’ about stuff.” You shook your head and opened your mouth to speak again, but you were interrupted.

“She was much more odd when she called me over for a side bar.” He chuckled, using his forefinger and thumb to tilt your face up by your chin. “She was pissed off that I hadn’t told you that I take a few daily meds.

“Anakin! What if something had happened and I didn’t know, you could-“

“I’m not a closet diabetic or anything, it’s nothing too serious, I won’t die without it.” He stopped you by rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. “Cute that you thought of that though.”

“It’s cute that I worried my boyfriend could’ve died?” You huffed.

“From my point of view yeah.” He smiled, his dimple making an appearance.

“Back to the seriousness though, princess.” He said softly. “I take a mood stabilizer, I ran out and I have to go see my doctor to get the prescription refilled. I’ll have to start seeing them every month again.” He sighed, almost wincing in preparation for your response.

“That’s it?” You asked with eyebrows in a low confused swoop. “That’s what you’re worried I’d punch you in the face for? Anakin that’s not even worth a flick to the forehead.” You snorted.

“You’re not mad?” He asked, surprised.

“I’m annoyed, irritated.” You admitted, pulling your lips into a sideways frown. “You could’ve just told me. I wouldn’t have judged you for it. That’s silly.”

“You’re not mad, like at all?” He repeated himself as though he expected this to be an argument.

“No I’m not mad.” You shook your head. “Disappointed that you didn’t think you could tell me… yes.”

“Oh sweetheart it’s not that I-“ he groaned, pressing his hands over his eyes. “I wish I would’ve told you to begin with. It’s just that I’ve had some negative reactions before and I guess I wanted to make sure you were in it for the long haul… you know?”

“I just didn’t expect that I’d be having to tell you because I’ve been a fucking asshole.” He said apologetically. “I think that’s why I’m so surprised. Baby, I’ve not been myself but I promise I’ll be right back to where I should be after my appointment okay?”

“Do you want me to come with you?” You asked, trying to offer him support.

“What? Why would you want to-“

“Because you’re my boyfriend and I care about you?” You said a bit more sharply than intended, your hand on his chest.

“I… well,” he swallowed as though he were more nervous now than he was to begin with. “It’s just that I’ll have to you know; talk about stuff with my doctor.”

“Mhm, yeah that’s what you do at a doctors appointment.” You nodded with a smirk.

“Smartass.” He huffed. “Anyway, I suppose you’re owed at least that aren’t you? After not having known about it.”

“Anakin that’s ridiculous you don’t ‘owe’ me anything because of this.” You laughed tiredly. “If you don’t want me to go I won’t, I just wanted to offer support.

“You’re an Angel you know that?” He grinned, pulling you into his chest and wiggling around until he was laying on his back with your head tucked under his chin. “You can come with me. If you don’t mind sitting in the waiting room.”

“Are you kidding? I love waiting rooms, seven year old magazines, weird little old lady asleep in the corner, secretary who plays solitaire instead of working…” You grinned.

“Man you’re making me wanna trade places.” He clicked his tongue with a chuckle.

“So, what’s your diagnosis?” You asked after a silent moment, changing the subject back to the serious side of the topic.

“What?” He stiffened, shifting to look over at you, his chin tucked against his shoulder.

“Well you’re on a mood stabilizer, what’s your diagnosis? It’s not a big deal, my sister’s husband has bipolar.” You shrugged, noticing the way his energy grew colder.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your b-“ he started, stopping to breathe through his nose. “Sorry.”

“I just hate labeling stuff like that you know? There’s such a stigma around mental health. It’s a chemical imbalance in my brain, not a fucking mind controlling parasite or something scary like that.” He grumbled, lips in a thin line while he clenched his teeth.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset or-“

“I’m not upset!” He snapped and let out a burst of air from his nostrils. “I’m not- not upset. I just don’t want this to be a thing you know?”

“A thing?” You questioned.

“Yeah. A thing, an issue, a problem.” He clarified, rolling his eyes. “It’s always been something that everyone blames shit on. I wake up grumpy ‘Anakin did you take your medicine?’. I complain about standing in a line at the fucking coffee shop ‘Ani, sweetie, are you doing okay?’. I don’t answer the phone on the first ring ‘Ani! I was so worried. Do you need me to come visit? Take care of things?’. It’s just all a matter of time before-“

“Oh no sir.” You stopped him, a scowl on your face. “Absolutely not. Don’t you dare tell me I’m gonna start nagging you like I’m your mother.”

“That’s not what-“

“No, that’s stupid okay? Listen I know it sucks to be questioned like that but she’s only doing it cause she cares about you.” You said, propping yourself up on your elbow. “Now that I know… I trust you’ll tell me if there’s anything going on I should know about.”

“You don’t answer to your mother anymore and if she or anyone else has questions they can talk to me.” You said sternly. Anakin stared at you, lips parted slightly. Even in the dark you could see his pupils dilate a little more.

“That was hot.” He said, smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “When did you get so bossy?”

“You are the company you keep.” You shrugged, a light smile on your face.

“Callin’ me bossy? Rude.” He chuckled.

“Maybe, maybe not.” You huffed out a little laugh.

”You know…” He whispered, breath warm as it fanned across your cheek, “I could be really bossy if you want.” His voice deep and rumbling in his chest, the vibrations resounding in your own, pressed against his.

”You did so good for me earlier, let me pay you back babydoll.” His husky words stoking the flame in your womb. He shifted, pressing his cock against your hip and grinding, one hand trailing down your back, over your ass and gripping the back of your thigh to pull over him, manhandling you until you perched over his throbbing member. You could feel the heat emanating from it even through your clothes, making your mouth water.

”Ani, it’s so late.” You whispered, nibbling the skin on your lower lip as you prepared to turn him down… again. “I can suck you off if you want.” You offered as an alternative.

“Are you fucking serious? ‘If i want’? You make it sound like a chore.” He groaned frustratedly, gently shoving you off his lap. “You know what? Never mind.”

”I’ll just do it my damn self, like I have been since you came back.” He snapped at you, getting up from the bed and slamming the bedroom door shut as he left the room.

He was much angrier about the denial than you expected, so angry that he was feeling spiteful. Stomping over to the couch he sat himself down and fumed for a moment before deciding a course of action. Looking down at his phone, the album of your many homemade pornos calling his name. He wanted to screen mirror it to the TV, curious if you’d recognize your own moans and sloshing pussy and come running.

He licked his top row of teeth, The devious thought now at the forefront of his mind and there was no stopping him. He grabbed the remote and screen mirrored his phone to the TV, something he’d done a shameful nuimber of times to these very videos without your knowledge. He turned up the sound enough that you could hear it, but the poor neighbors sharing his living room wall would be spared.

He selected one of his favorites and exited the album to prepare the rest of his plan before steeping into action. Anakin tugged at his boxers and spit in the palm of his hand, slicking up his painfully neglected dick, shivering at the feeling of the well deserved friction that you had denied him. Hitting play he watched as Ghost shoved you to your knees on your bedroom floor, wasting no time at all in shoving his cock down your pretty throat and brutalizing your delicate mouth.

He loved the view, being able to see himself doing such things to you. It was as close to an out of body experience he’d ever gotten. He firmly gripped his shaft, spreading his precum over his cockhead with his thumb. Groaning at the feeling of the calloused skin on such a soft, silky, sensitive part of himself. The beautiful noises you made, choking and gagging as you tried to breathe through your nose, it was like he was transported right back to that moment, seeing it in real time all over again.

This part was for him, just a warm up, just enough to get himself more needy than he already was. He wanted to look as pitiful as he felt when you came barreling out of the bedroom to confront him. He edged himself until he was sick of it, until he was so sensitive that his tip leaked, his balls tightened with every few strokes and he felt as though if he didn’t cum he might throw up.

He flicked over to the next video, another favorite, one he watched so often that if it were on DVD the damn thing wouldn’t play anymore. The one time Ghost stripped himself naked for you, let you feel the warmth of his skin against yours. It was dirty, sensual, dare he even say… romantic? He could feel the connection you shared through the screen each and every time he saw it. Imagining what was going on in that stupid little brain of yours when he hears the first gasp, your realization he was baring himself to you. He wondered if you were nervous, if the idea of it scared you, if it made it all the more real for you like it did for him. That barrier of fabric removed, nothing restricting your soft skin from touching his, he wondered if that’s the moment it set in for you that Ghost was more than a fantasy. He was flesh and blood just like you.

——————————————————————————

You sat in bed where Anakin had left you, unable to comprehend his reaction. You stared at the door, expecting him to come back in a moment after he’d cooled off. He’d apologize, you’d forgive him, everything would be fine. After all, you understood the awful mood swings now. This wasn’t entirely your fault. You were just that catalyst.

Though he didn’t come back. You checked your phone in hopes you’d see a message that maybe he was on the fireescape smoking and he’d be right back after his cigarette, ready to hold you as you fell asleep. That’s all you wanted, some comfort. On top of everything else that had happened this past week, you’d started your period. It was no wonder you’d been extra emotional, overly worried and over thinking every minuscule aspect of the goings on in your life. The hands of fate had decided you needed one more punch to the face in the form of blood and pain.

Poetic justice for the blood you’d spilt? Not likely, but it was in close enough in probability for it to have made you laugh the day before yesterday when you’d spotted in your favorite pair of panties.

You had almost calmed yourself from the stress of you current situation when you heard low grunting from the living room, paired with a lewd gagging noise. Porn. He was watching porn rather than taking you up on your offer of oral pleasure. Not only was it a slap to the face, it was a backhanded one at that, realizing it was too loud to be played on his phone. He was replacing you with a pornstar on the hi-def flatscreen in the living room, a perfect picture of a perfect girl that could never be you.

You had half a mind to go in there and ask him what the hell he was thinking, how could he be so cruel… but you stopped yourself. He was fully in his right to watch porn whenever he wanted. Who were you to tell him he couldn’t satisfy himself? That would be insane, it’d be a breach of privacy and a horrible misuse of trust. How awful would you be to tell him to stop when you’ve been fucking around behind his back for the entirety of your relationship?

So you sat and stewed, torturing yourself with images of him touching himself. His large hands, the ripple of muscle in his arm when he stroked his shaft, the noises he made, the way his pretty blue eyes would flutter shut as his head fell back, plump lips being bitten to keep quiet. It was all you could do not to burst into tears. Your couldn’t imagine someone else giving him that kind of pleasure. It made you sick. Even if it was only a woman on screen it felt like betrayal, even more so because he chose her over you.

“You’re a horrible, awful human being” You whispered to yourself, sucking in a breath as the crushing weight of all your transgressions impacted your fragile mind state.

The thought of him feeling this way was more than enough to break your heart. You had no right to cry, not after everything you’ve done. These weren’t your tears threatening to spill. These were Anakin’s. This awful stomach churning, head busting, throat closing pain; was Anakin’s, not yours. This is what he’d feel if he ever discovered what you’d been doing.

He would see the same images you did, only his torturous slideshow would be starring you. Your face scrunching up in pleasure, your mewls and whines as another man fills the sweet pussy he thought belonged only to him. He’d see the flushed face and embarrassed giggle you make when he stares so deeply into your eyes he feels his head swim… then it would be ruined by the thought of someone else doing the very same. Someone else making you cry out for more, someone else making you shake, someone else kissing away the salty tears he so loved to see stain your cheeks after he’d made a mess of you. Tainted, irreparably destroyed and desecrated in a way that could never be forgiven.

He wouldn’t be able to see anything else but your betrayal when he set his eyes on you.

Just as you were coming to terms with that fact, another hit you hard in the gut. Bile rising up in your throat and burning yout nostrils as you forced yourself to swallow it back down. What about Ghost? Is this how he has felt throughout it all? The room spun with the idea that you could’ve been causing him such agonizing pain for so long. He’d seen it all. He had been looking after you long before Anakin entered the picture. He had to watch from the shadows as you fell in love with someone else. He was subjected to the very things you’d just played through in your mind.

He had been watching another man touch the woman he loved. The woman he loved so much that he was willing to do anything and everything on earth to see you, keep you, hold you. The woman he treated like royalty in his own way, unconventional to most but… when he called you a goddess you felt like one. How else would you have been lucky enough to be loved by a man like him and to be loved by a man like Anakin at the same time? How horribly fitting.

A perfect example of the tragedies of old. Hubris of the gods always causing chaos for the weaker beings on the earth below. You’d been watching from a chaise in the clouds, peering down at the two heroes fighting for your affections. Only one having knowledge of the competition, a champion as they’re often called; a fighter who has the favor of a deity. A mortal with no knowledge of the battle they’re in… will most certainly befall a gruesome death at the hands of the devine’s champion.

You held your head in your hands, taking calming breaths. This is exactly the kind of thing you were reprimanding yourself for earlier. Overthinking. Over analyzing. Putting yourself and others in it, in a scrutinizing environment that would only lead to a downward spiral.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Nothing is going to happen. Everything always works out in the end.” You promised yourself.

You shook yourself from the self inflicted suffering, thinking maybe a drink of cool water and possibly a retch over the toilet might help stop the icepick hacking away at your brain, pressure building behind your eyes to from the world’s worst headache. As you stood, you slowly became aware of the change in sound coming from the living room. It had went quiet a few minutes ago, but now it seemed…

”Are you fuckin-“ Anakin was watching another video. You’d wrongfully assumed the break in sex noises meant that he was finished and would come back to bed, though it seemed he had plans to stay busy for the next little bit.

You huffed, reminding yourself that its fine, everything is fine. Just take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, and-

“What the hell was that?” You thought, ears tuning into something intimately familiar as your hand hovered over the door knob.

There is no way. No possible way that Anakin could’ve gotten his hands on that footage of his own accord… right? This was it, this was the end of it all, the beginning of the fall of the greatest era of your life. Ghost had done it, he’d sent him the videos. How stupid could you have been to believe he didn’t have cameras here too? Did you really believe he wasn’t going to monitor the other man in your life?

He’d heard the argument. He’d seen Anakin storm off, watched as he… touched himself. Then used your own actions against you; this wasn’t a coincidence that the very night you searched for Ghostface porn, research purposes or not, that an explicit video of you with not your boyfriend ends up on the tv where said boyfriend is jacking off.

Surely you’re imagining it right? You’ve just worked yourself up into a tizzy and now you’re hearing things because of your overwhelming guilt. Yes, that’s it. It’s all in your head. You’ve heard Ghost speak so many times that it’d be silly of you not to be able to conjure up an exact replica of his voice and exact words you’d heard from behind his mask before. You know what your own moans sound like, of course you do. Doesn’t everyone?

You grab the door knob and twist it open, pushing open with more force than necessary and bracing yourself for the possibility that Anakin may be on the other side of it ready to kick you out and never let you come back. But the sounds you heard on the other side of the door didn’t sound like you and Ghost. It didn’t sound like porn of any kind. It sounded like… Dale Gribble?

”Ani?” You asked quietly, poking your head around the corner, your eyes adjusting to the different lighting to reveal him curled up in the corner of the sofa, wrapped in a blanket.

“Huh?” He sniffled. He’d been crying?

You’d imagined it. He hadn’t done anything at all. He’s been sitting in here, alone, sobbing over his bong and an empty beer bottle while watching Comedy Central. The poor boy had tried to take his mind off the subject of his weirdly behaving girlfriend by watching King of the Hill. You’d never seen someone close to rock bottom before, but Anakin looked like he had just booked an express ticket for the earliest train.

”Sorry, I uh… what are you doing?” You asked cautiously approaching him, your gaze flickering to the TV suspiciously.

”I’m just… moping.” He cleared his throat, hiding his burning hot face in the crook of his arm. “I’m sorry doll, I feel stupid getting so upset over this. It’s not fair to you.”

“Anakin, are you okay?” You asked as you sat down next to him, your hand on his chest to feel his rapid heartbeat and heaving lungs.

“Sweetheart, is there something you’re not telling me?” Anakin asked and your heart bounced out of your chest.

”What? I don-“

”It’s just… I can’t help but feel a bit insecure.” His voice soft and hurt. “You won’t give me a straight answer as to why you won’t let me touch you. I miss you baby.”

”Ani it’s got nothing to do with you I promise.” You whispered, wanting him to lay his eyes on you, but he kept them downturned.

”But its… It’s been since before your trip, I just worry. Are you sure I didn’t do something?” He asked, finally looking over at you with big watery eyes, the salty tears spilling over into a stream down his hot cheeks.

“Anakin, let’s not rehash this again.” You pleaded, taking his trembling hand in yours. “Yes I was upset when I came back from my trip, that made me less inclined to want to be… intimate.”

“So, so what’s wrong n-now?” He sniffled, swiping the heel of his palm over his cheeks.

“I’m not upset Ani, I just… I’m on my period and I just don’t fe-“ He sat up slightly and cupped your cheek.

”Babydoll, Why didn’t you just say so?” Anakin asked in a pained tone, like he was deeply perturbed you kept that detail to yourself. “I’ve been beating myself up thinking I’d done something to upset you or-or make me less attractive to you.”

”Oh, no don’t say that, no. You’re so handsome, hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile. “I will never not be attracted to you.”

”I’ve just been so emotional and I’ve been cramping and everything hurts, I’m tired and period sex is so messy Ani.” You said as nicely as possible so you wouldn’t set him off again.

”Darlin’ you know I don’t mind a little blood,” he chuckled, sucking in a breath through his nose. “I’ve helped you with your cramps before, let me help now.” He said softly, rubbing your cheek bone with his thumb.

”Feel me sweetheart… it hurts me.” He whined, taking your hand to place it over his cock.

So hot, throbbing and covered in precum that you could feel the sticky wet patch where his cockhead rested against the fabric of his boxers. He felt so stiff that you knew immediately he hadn’t cum, maybe he hadn’t even attempted to take care of the issue hisself like you assumed.

“Anakin, I thought you… you know?” You asked quietly, eyebrows pinched in concern.

“I tried.” He sniffed, looking away with an air of embarrassment surrounding him. “Couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?” Your voice soft and warm, an attempt to soothe him.

“C-cause you were right there n’ all I could th-think about was y-you not wantin’ me.” He whimpered, his bottom lip in a pout as he frowned, taking in a choppy breath.

“Aw Ani, I’m sorry.” You whispered, reaching over to touch his face. “Let me see, let me help you.”

“It’s okay babydoll, I-I’ll just wait for it to go down.” He bit his lip, taking a throw pillow from the couch beside him to put over his lap, hiding his raging erection.

“No,” You shook your head, feeling awful for how you’d denied him for such silly reasons, you should’ve known better. “I want to. Please let me?”

“Y-you really do?” He asked with a pitifully hopeful tone that nearly knotted your stomach.

“Of course I do.” You said softly, nodding your head for his reassurance. “Just uh, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick to take out my tampon.” You said, almost bashfully.

“You’re gonna let me?” He asked with knitted eyebrows, his face twisted in a sense of surprise and maybe disbelief. “You’re gonna let me make love to you?”

“If that’s what you want.” You nodded, folding your lips behind your teeth before letting them roll back out.

“Please.” He nodded, nearly falling over as he scooped you up and took you to the bedroom. “Thank you baby, thank you.” He whispered repeatedly as if he couldn’t express his gratitude enough.

“Wait I gotta-“ You let out a little giggle at his eagerness despite being the cause of it.

“Don’t care. I’ll get it.” His voice came out low and raspy as he lay you down with your legs hanging over the end of the bed. You tried scooting yourself upright and he stopped you, a gentle hand placed on your stomach to keep you were he wanted.

“Ani, please, let me go to the bathroom.” You whined, unsure about how you’d handle being so vulnerable with him. It’s one thing to be intimate while on your period but an entirely different matter when it comes to another person, even one you trust, to remove your tampon.

“I’ll be careful.” He whispered, tugging off your shorts and panties in one go, reaching behind him to pull over his small bedroom trash can that he kept near the closet.

Gently, carefully he very slowly parted your folds, giving him full access to your most intimate place. He licked his thumb, running it back and forth over your clit with his other hand poised to take action.

“Ready? I promise I’ll be so careful.” His tone made it seem less of a question and more of a finality. He was going to remove it regardless of your answer. He confirmed that prediction by tugging carefully on the string at your opening.

“So fuckin’ sexy.” He whispered into the plushness of your inner thigh as he placed soft kisses there to soothe you while removing it carefully as promised.

With it tossed in the trash, Anakin jumped into one of his very favorite things to do; feast on your pussy. His tongue snaked it’s way from your weeping hole all the way up to your clit. Letting out a low, wanton moan he buried his tongue as deeply as possible into your cunt, slurping and teasing your entrance before plunging back inside, repeating the process over and over again until he had you squirming.

“Pussy’s so sweet.” He mumbled, humming contentedly like he was prepared to do that for the rest of all time and throughly enjoy every sinful second.

His hands found your hips, elbows bent to keep your legs open for him. His thumbs gently pressing down in massaging circles meant to help relieve your muscles from cramps. You can’t deny that it does help, you’ve almost forgotten the real reason you’d been fending off his advances, almost angry at Ghost- yourself for being the reason you had denied yourself this pain relief.

“Relax pretty girl, you’re so tense.” He whispered pulling back to look up at you, “gotta enjoy this while you can… I can wait much longer.” He smiled apologetically, he hated not being able to take his time, but you understood.

“It’s okay Ani,” you panted, lacing your fingers through his hair to draw him back to where you needed him most. “y-you can-“

“Really? Thanks sweetheart.” He chirped, hopping up from his kneeling position and pulling you toward him as he stood at the foot of his bed.

He didn’t wait for you to finish speaking, he didn’t listen to your nonverbal cue, he simply ripped off his shirt and boxers; revealing his horribly red and irritated cock. The tip covered in precum, shiny and dripping a fresh bead that glistened in the lamp light. He really wasn’t kidding when he said it hurt, you almost felt a sympathy pain for him at the sight of it.

“Oh Anakin, oh I’m so sorry.” You whispered, propping yourself up on your elbows to take off your shirt that he’d left on in his rush. “I didn’t realize…”

“Shh, shh.” He hushed you, cleaning the bloody slick from his chin, running his palm across his skin to smear it on his chest. “S’okay. S’fine.” He shook his head.

Running the heated tip through your dampness, nudging your clit before pushing inside slowly as he shivered. The simple act of being enveloped by your warm, welcoming walls had him biting down on his whitened knuckles to keep himself from bursting then and there.

“So good.” He whined, rutting into you with shallow thrusts, bringing the crook of your knees to rest over his shoulders. “So damn good, wet n’ sloppy for me. S-so pretty, such a pretty red.” He whimpered, pulling out completely to stroke himself just once, gathering up the bloody mixture to lick from his hand with a disgusting fervidity.

“Ani.” You chided, a slight grimace on your face. You didn’t necessarily find it gross, but it was definitely embarrassing.

“I love you, every part of you.” He said, his voice needy and squeaky. “Even this.”

“Don’t stop me from doing what I love.” He said, gripping your thighs against his chest, leaning forward slightly to speed up his pace.

Anakin’s breathing was shallow and choppy, like he was having trouble remembering to breathe, as if the only thing his brain was capable of was keeping up with how hard and fast he was pounding into you.

“Ah-s-slow please.” You hiccuped, being jostled up and down from the roughness, bracing yourself by gripping the edge of the bed.

“Can’t.” He shook his head frantically, his bottom lip quivering as he bit down to hide it from you.

“You okay Ani?” You asked with concern through halted speech.

“Mhm.” He nodded, his face growing pink as he squeezed his eyes shut. Anakin was trying so hard not to cry. Cry from the overwhelming need to cum, the overstimulation he’d forced on himself, and from how his thousandth declaration of love seemed to fail at chipping away your defenses once again.

He wasn’t trying to please you in this moment, this was completely for his benefit. The release he so desperately needed was just within his reach and nothing and no one could stop him from claiming it. He’d waited too long, been uncomfortably suffering since he stormed out of the bedroom and now that he was back, he didn’t think you’d mind being a little… used.

“S-sorry doll, sorry.” He hiccuped, hearing you mewl and feeling your nails dig into his shoulders as you took the beat he so lovingly doled out. “Can’t help it, m’sorry.”

He dropped your legs to hang at his sides, sliding both his arms beneath you to press you against himself in a tight squeeze, one hand on your shoulder and the other on your hip, both gripped firmly in his strong hands, fully securing you in his arms.

“I wanna be close to you.” He whispered, nuzzling into your neck as his cock slid smoothly in and all the way out of your soaked pussy, just to repeat the movement again at an inhumane speed and depth. The tip not just kissing your cervix, but most certainly bruising it from the bullying motion. “Need to be close to you, s’not enough.”

“Can’t get any closer than this Ani.” You breathed out a light laugh after taking in a sharp gasp.

“Wish I could.” He sniffled, his hips stuttering as his stomach tightened and he was no longer able to hold his tears at bay.

“I love you.” He whispered, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and dropping in small puddles across your shoulder and collar bone. He tried to silence himself by kissing your neck, nipping lovingly but he was so shaky it was no use in trying to conceal his emotions so he let himself sob.

“I love you, I just want you to love me.” Anakin sobbed, loud and exhausted, his chest heaving against yours, sticky with sweat from his efforts. “I want you to love me, why don’t you love me?”

His pleas were pitiful, so raw and vulnerable. He was once again baring his soul to you and you had no idea how to respond. The first instinct is to say it back, say it and soothe him, help him reign in his tears. But you hesitate, knowing it wasn’t exactly right; even if it is true.

“Please.” Whimpering softly, audibly sniffing back snot after letting his heart bleed through his lips. “Please just love me, let yourself love me like I love you.”

“C-can’t.” He whined, hips snapping against yours as he reached between you to put pressure on your clit, the simple touch fogging your brain. “I can’t cum.” He hiccuped.

It was awful, seeing him so close, so wild and frenzied to climb to a summit he just couldn’t get to, the poor boy had been so frustrated for so long and now that he finally had you again it was practically torture to be within those satiny walls he would kill to live in.

“Anakin.” You said softly, shifting and wriggling in his tight embrace to gain use of one arm to gently push his chin up, making him look at you. He looked as piteous as he sounded, red faced and splotchy, luscious eyelashes heavy with salty tears.

“Anakin I do… I do love you I-“

“Goddamnit.” He choked out, his movements completely stilling save for the twitching of his cock and the rapid beat of his heart, he even stopped breathing. The halted air eeking out in a groaning squeak while he pumped you so full of cum that you could feel it overflow, leaking out without him even moving.

“I do love you Ani. I just wasn’t ready to say it and I was scared.” You said quietly, letting him collapse into a quietly weeping heap atop you, his hips rolling against you ever so slowly.

“Say it again.” He asked, so sorrowfully that you could deny it if you tried.

“I love you.” Your hand finding his head, holding him against your damp chest as you gently scratched his scalp. It was bittersweet to say it aloud. You’d kept it bottled up for months and it was a relief to finally admit it, but it also twisted that proverbial knife in your gut. You can’t truly love a man while another has a piece of your heart as well.

“Let me kiss my princess.” He whispered, leaning back to wipe at his mess of a face before coming back to meet your lips with his own. “I love you baby, I love you.” His voice soft and sweet, a light lilt that made your heart feel just a bit lighter.

Anakin started to thrust slow and deep, reaching every part of you with equal intensity. With one hand he pushed your right leg back against the bed, his other coming to run across your abdomen, caressing the skin until he reached the beautiful valley and hills of your breasts. He was taking his time now, but you knew it wouldn’t be long until you unraveled.

“I love you too.” You said, swallowing down the lump in your throat and giving him a soft, warm smile, blinking quickly to bat away the tears forming. You weren’t entirely sure why your eyes got watery but you knew for certain it wasn’t solely because of your confession.

Enveloping one of your nipples into his mouth twisting and pinching the other between his saliva covered fingers, Anakin stayed true to his promise that he’d make love to you. Everything he did now was focused entirely on you and your needs. He watched every twitch, every breath, every heart beat to stay intuitive to what you desired of him.

“Like that.” You nodded quickly as he angled his hips upward to put extra pressure on your sweet spot -only he could reach.-

“You like it sweetheart?” He rasped, looking down at you with lust blown pupils.

“Love it.” Mewling as you arched into his hand that snuck between your thighs.

“That’s what I wanna hear babydoll.” Anakin licked his bottom lip, carefully working you up to orgasm with his skillful touch and perfectly fitted cock.

“Gods… what a pretty pink.” He mumbled, looking down where your bodies met with a hunger that seemed insatiable.

Anakin didn’t want to stop his consistent and steady pace he’d set with his thumb. But, he just could not resist the temptation to taste the creamy pink blend of your slick, his cum and your sweet, sweet blood. Gathering up a dollop, he brought it to his mouth, sucking his finger clean with a ferocity you’d never expected. His knees buckled and his cock twitched; suddenly he was cumming again, powering through his unsteady thrusts to attempt to keep his pace for you.

“Fuckin’ hell doe-oll, doll, my babydoll.” He corrected himself, hoping you wouldn’t think anything of it.

You didn’t. You couldn’t think at all. You could hardly hear a single syllable from his plump lips, focusing all your attention and energy on reminding yourself to breathe as you clenched around his thickness. The sudden and unexpected sensation of him coating your gummy walls, simply from such a disgustingly delicious taste was enough to send you into an equally spontaneous orgasm. Your legs shook, a high-pitched whine escaped your chest and you squirmed beneath him while gripping the blanket beneath you so tightly you felt sure that you’d ripped a bit of the stitching.

“There’s my girl, my sweet girl.” He muttered, seeing your eyes fluttering back open as though you were regaining consciousness. In a way, you were.

“Mmhmm.” You nodded tiredly, your arms wrapping around his neck as he nuzzled against your throat, peppering kisses across your flushed skin. “Your girl.”

“I know.” He chuckled, tilting your head back to capture you in a gentle, sensually slow kiss. His tongue barely grazing your lip, just enough to leave you breathless before he pulled back and flashed you a smile you hadn’t seen for a few days. A real one.

Diary Entry: September 17th

I should be ashamed of myself, I’m aware. I just can’t be bothered to conjure up that emotion.

I’m taking this and fucking sprinting with it, I’ll hit Mach 10 before NASA does. You told me you loved me. Me. Anakin.

Yeah it might’ve been… coerced. Just a tiny little bit of course, you said it if your own accord. I simply pushed you in the right direction. Now. Don’t go thinking those tears were a sham. I swear they weren’t.

That embarrassing display was entirely real and justified in my opinion, though that doesn’t make it any easier to acknowledge that this was not the first time and won’t be the last time that I cry while balls deep in your heavenly body.

Insane isn’t it? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it every single opportunity that arises: it’s just further proof that you truly are a goddess. How else would it be possible to cause a grown man to fucking cry like that?

Date: September 16th 12:38

You stretched, yawning and groaning as your body adjusted to being awake. You’d slept late, as late as you possibly could because of how long you’d stayed up last night. You were still tired, not nearly as exhausted as expected but still sleepy enough that if you were to close your eyes for too long they’d stay shut for another few hours.

You sniffed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, rolling over to your phone and seeing Anakin had texted you not too long ago. He was out getting groceries for the two of you and he’d promised to bring home your favorite icecream, knowing you’d gnawed through the very last of it and you desperately needed more. After sending a quick message to let him know you were finally awake, you rolled over again and stretched out like I starfish, enjoying the cooler temperature of the sheets on Anakin’s side of the bed.

Even going so far as to scooch yourself over and snuggle up to his pillow to breathe in his scent. A cold, hard object touched your cheek and startled you, the item making a slightly metallic sound in the dark room. You grabbed your phone and held the screen over the pillow, nearly choking on air when you recognized the offending object. You grabbed it, turning it over in your hands with a most confused expression on your face.

Ghost. He’s brought your hair pin over here, placed it on Anakin’s pillow for you to find. But why? He never did things without a purpose, so what on earth could he have aimed to do by leaving you this? Bolting upright you went straight to the light switch and flicked it on, blinking and shielding your eyes from the sudden brightness as you frantically looked around the room in search of anything out of place.

Once you were certain the bedroom was safe, you searched the rest of Anakin’s apartment and found that all was well in each corner of his home. So it must mean Ghost has left something for you at your own home. Or maybe he’s just trying to fuck with you? He’s been so confusing and it’s been so awful… maybe he’s just hoping to upset you. Even so, you found yourself walking across the threshold of your apartment just moments later.

Ghost has been here. He’s been here while you were away at Anakin’s and you’re not entirely sure what the point of his visit was. The cat food bowl was full, your floor had been vacuumed and your bedroom door was open.

Half expecting to find him in there, you walked in and surveyed the room. Disappointment flooding you when you realized he wasn’t there like you’d hoped. Though remnants of him were. Spread neatly across the top of your dresser were all the little things that you’d kept in your jewelry box. Trinkets and notes, along with a few other things. The tiny cameras. He’d taken them all down and laid them in a row for you to see.

He wasn’t kidding when he’d said he didn’t need them anymore. He was finished watching you, instead of relief you felt a painful sense of loss, like you were missing something intangible but feeling it physically. Anakin’s ring. The bullet. They were both lying there at the end of the dresser, the bullet laid inside the metal centipede. Odd. Odd enough to note it for further reflection if needed, but not odd enough to capture your full attention.

No. Your sights were set on a cardboard box lying atop your bed. You rushed to rip the lid off, seeing something unexpected inside. Underwear. A whole handful of panties, your panties. Pairs you’d long since assumed had been eaten by the shitty laundromat washers. Beneath them were a set of identical sheets to the ones on your bed at that very moment, you even lifted the edge of the comforter to confirm it.

The items only continued to grow stranger. Some things you didn’t even recognize until closer inspection, like reciepts, bookmarks, random odds and ends of things you’d lost or thrown out… things you didn’t understand why he would’ve wanted to keep. That was until you stumbled across one slip of paper tucked away inside the large ziploc bag of other crinkled papers. A phone number.

The yoga instructor. His phone number, all this time you’d believed you’d simply lost it. The truth dawned on you slowly as you spread out all those little scraps of your life, realizing some of them were yours and some were his. Theater tickets, restaurant coasters, stupid little things that held no meaning for you until now. He’d followed you far and wide, that much you already knew. You just didn’t realize how closely he was following.

He’d attended movies with you, he could’ve sat directly behind you and watched you instead of the screen and you wouldn’t have ever known. Your favorite coffee place, there were some of your receipts along with a slew of what must be his, considering you never ordered smoothies from there. Time stamped minutes before or after your reciepts were. You’d drank coffee, stood in line… never noticing him.

You wracked each corner of your mind in hopes of finding a familiar face sticking out in the recesses. Willing yourself to dig deep and fish out a common denominator. Was there a man who could possibly fit his physique amongst the crowds in your memories? Try as you might, there weren’t any faces coming up on your register that seemed suspicious or even slightly familiar.

Pictures. Close to a hundred pictures of you from all moments of life. Shopping at the grocery store, getting into your car, browsing the shelves of the library, chatting with your friends, or simply of you inside your home from outside your livingroom window. Even more unsettling were the photos without you in them. Photos of Luke’s apartment, your sister’s house, The Bluebird diner, your car.

Then at the very bottom was your copy of The Silmarillion, the one you’d been so horribly disappointed to lose. Not that it made you feel any better to have it back, not now. Not after everything. You opened it up and saw a sticky note inside with Ghost’s handwriting adorning it.

‘Sent with all my love, Ghost.’

That’s it? That’s all he had to say after dropping this bombshell off on you? You were so simply exasperated by the entire situation that you shoved everything back down into the box, then making a big sweep of your arm across your dresser to knock all the other pieces of Ghost into the box and shove it angrily under your bed. What is it exactly that he was trying to do?

Diary Entry: September 21st

I’m assuming you were unhappy with Ghost’s display. Was it not clear that I was trying to physically show you everything I’ve done for you? Was it not obvious that I love you more than life itself?

Or are you just terrified by that very fact I was trying to get across? Now that you’ve told me you love me, are you leaving Ghost? I suppose I should be respectful of the fact you’ve begun to ignore me. It seems you’ve made up your mind.

I thought you’d be happy with the lengthened leash I’d put you on. No more cameras to watch your every move, I have your phone to listen in when I feel the need to, that’s enough for me now that I’m graced with your beautiful face as often as I’d like to be. I get to see you through my own eyes, no longer forced only to see you through filtered lenses of my mask. Why bother with looking through the lens of a camera anymore either? It’s no where near as satisfying as being able to reach out and touch the flesh I’d yearned to feel for so long.

Diary Entry: September 22nd

There’s not many things I’m scared of, but this appointment is rightfully terrifying. I simply can’t imagine how you’d react if you happened to overhear any of the sensitive information I’ll be forced to share. I know that patient confidentiality and HIPPA are extremely important and very much required, but what if the walls are not thick enough? Will they have a white noise machine outside the door?

September 25th

You had been standing on the platform outside Luke’s apartment for almost ten minutes when his neighbor stepped outside onto the concrete platform, sitting himself down in a faded green lawn chair with a cigarillo pinched between his teeth. He regarded you with a slow nod and an uncomfortable head to toe scan, are middle aged men so completely unaware of themselves that they don’t grasp that they’re being creepy? Or do they just not care?

You gave him the obligatory ‘smile so you don’t ask me to’ half-assed toothless smile.

‘Ur creep neighbors out here again.’ You shot off the text to Luke, the fourth message you’d sent him in between loud knocking and shouting.

Luke was never late. He was always the earliest person to any gathering, he was always the most prepared, so unlike you. You’d gotten here three minutes past the time you’d promised to be at his door. You fully expected him to be waiting, tapping his foot with that disapproving frown he loves to grace you with.

“He’s not home.” A gritty, decades-long smoker’s voice crawled into your ear from behind.

“D-do you know when he left?” You asked awkwardly.

“Yeah.” He nodded, taking a long drag from his cigarillo that made him sputter and hack up smoker’s sludge that he spat over the railing. You hoped no one was unlucky enough to be walking past at that time in the parking lot below.

“Do you think you could tell me?” You huffed impatiently.

“Got yer knickers in a twist?” He snorted at your brusque tone.

“Y’know what. Nevermind.” You scoffed, turning away and making a quick exit for the concrete steps and onto the sidewalk below.

With a cautionary glance over your shoulder, you picked up the pace to reach your car. There’s no chance that man could catch up to you, but you wouldn’t put it past him to try his hand at it. You heard a sharp, song-like whistle from behind you and felt your stomach churn.

A familiar, clean voice rang out through the parking lot, shouting out your name. Snapping your head around, your body took a second to follow. It was Luke, finally. Finally he was here and although you were relieved to see him, it also enraged you.

“Where the hell were you? You need to answer your fucking phone!” You shouted, quick walking over to him to shove his shoulder.

“Jesus I’m sorry!” He squeaked, shaking his head in bewilderment at your frantic speech. “I was at the overpass and I saw-“

“Your disgusting neighbor was… he was being disgusting.” You whisper shouted, following Luke up the steps and hoping the guy was back inside.

“Mhm, yes that is usually what he does.” Luke nodded in agreement although sarcastically.

“Where were you?” You repeated yourself as Luke unlocked the door.

“Well I was trying to tell you.” He scoffed. “But you talked over me. You know I hate it when you do that it-“

“I’m sorry! Just-“ you paused, raising your eyebrows as Luke scowled at you. “Right. Interrupting.” You cleared your throat and kicked off your shoes while he locked the door behind you both.

“As I was saying, I was on the overpass and I saw the tiniest little kitten up there.” He said, holding one hand over the other to replicate the size of the kitten. “I felt bad so I got out and scooped him up.”

“You parked your car and got out on the overpass?” You said in a shocked tone. It was always horribly busy and crowded, entirely too terrifying for you to have done that… maybe you might be persuaded by a situation like this.

“I didn’t want the little guy to get squashed.” Luke retorted.

“I don’t want you to get squashed.” You laughed, surprised.

“I’m fine and so is my new buddy.” Luke said proudly.

“You’re keeping him? Oh my god Luke did you leave him in the car?” You gasped, looking down at his empty hands before turning to walk to the door.

“No! No you idiot.” He huffed, smacking your shoulder. “I’m not that oblivious. I dropped him off at the vet’s office. You remember Jalen?” He asked.

“Sure, why?” You asked, pulling a face. Jalen was Luke’s shortest and worst crush from his player stint.

“He works there at the clinic now!” He explained, going to the sink to wash his hands, then trudging off to his room to change clothes. “I told him I was in a rush so he emailed me the registration papers and went ahead and put the kitten in one of those wall cages.”

“Wall cages?” You asked, standing in his doorway, facing the opposite direction so he could have a bit of privacy.

“Yeah, you know, the little kennel things.” He said quickly. “Anyway, I figured I’d fill it out once I got home so give me a minute or two and then we’ll chat m’kay?”

“Does Han know you’re bringing home a baby?” You asked teasingly.

“Yes of course. He’s practically my husband of course he knows.” He scoffed, tapping your shoulder to make you move. He plopped himself down on the couch and patted the spot next to him for you to do the same.

Luke mumbled to himself as he filled out the online registration, it was quick considering he had zero prior information about the little kitty. “Hey, would it be stupid to put ‘pitiful and abandoned’ in the Reason For Visit section?”

“Was he pitiful?” You asked.

“Yes.” Luke nodded, pursing his lips. “Before you ask, yes he was also abandoned. You’re so right. Perfect. Mm, also crusty goopy eyes.”

“Yeah, I’d probably put crusty, goopy eyes first.” You said, crossing your feet at the ankles and resting them on the coffee table.

“Too late.” He shrugged, hitting send and almost immediately getting a confirmation email from Jalen.

“Did you mention that you are in a very committed relationship?” You asked, finding the quick response a tad odd.

“No. Why would I do that? It was quicker and my new friend got into the safety of the little cage before the ugly old scrungly pug that came in right before us did.” He snorted. “I have pretty privilege, Han will understand.”

“You’re awful.” You laughed, covering your mouth as you snorted loudly. “What if you made that scrungly pug late for his very important appointment?”

“Appointment for what? Cremation?” Luke clicked his tongue, hiding a smirk and holding in a giggle at his own joke.

“Shut up.” You snickered, taking a deep breath as you dropped your hands into your lap. “Anyway. I needed to t-“

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m naming it?” He cut you off, looking offended.

You sighed, rolling your eyes and clasping your hands. “Luke. What are you naming your kitten?” You chirped.

“Art the second.” He said with a small smile.

“Nuh-uh.” You grinned, remembering the old scruffy cat he’d begged his parents to let him keep.

The poor old elderly tomcat had wound up on their front porch during a rainstorm and he was almost mistaken for a lump of wet newspaper. Once he got dry, he looked ten pounds heavier from all the fuzz and knots. He lived out the rest of his years being pampered better than the Queen of England.

“I miss Art.” You sighed, smiling fondly at the memory. He was a grumpy old boy but he was the first cat you’d met that you actually meshed well with. You’d joked that you wanted split custody in the event y+ou and Luke ever had a falling out.

“I miss Art too.” He nodded, laying down on the couch and shuffling until he’d laid his head on your thigh. “But Art the Second will live a long happy life. The life Art the First should’ve had.”

“Don’t get sappy please. You know how I feel about that stupid cat.” You huffed, letting out the air with puffed cheeks. It was the first pet death you and Luke had experienced, you thought you may never recover. Obviously it was still a touchy subject.

“Fine, I’ll cry about it later.” He sighed, waving it off before tucking his hands beneath his arms. “Alright, what did you desperately need to talk to me about?” He asked.

“Okay, please promise you won’t yell at me.” You whispered, petting his hair comfortingly while you pulled out your phone and turned it off. This conversation absolutely could not be monitored by Ghost. Your new paranoia making you survey the area to see if he’d somehow placed cameras in Luke’s house as well.

“Wow, I love it when you start a conversation so ominously. I can’t wait to yell at you.” Luke quipped, snorting softly as you glared down at him.

”I’m serious!” You huffed exhaustedly, already tired just from thinking of how too begin your story without revealing too much. “So you remember when uh, someone followed me home from-“

”Please don’t.” Luke sighed, reaching up to squeeze your upper arm. “Babe, I thought you moved past that.”

”Would you shut up and just listen to me?” You grumbled a bit louder than intended, though it seemed to startle Luke into obeying. “Someone did follow me home. I promise. I swear I’m not crazy.” You said almost pleadingly.

”It’s not… not as bad as it sounds okay? Just hear me out.” You looked down and saw Luke was obviously conflicted. Part of him wanted to stop you right there and call Anakin to come get you and the other really wanted to trust you on this.

”I’m listening.” He agreed begrudgingly, nodding for you to continue your tale.

“I lied.” You whispered, hoping, praying, that this lie would come to as naturally as all the others you’d told since then. “I lied and I’ve been lying ever since.”

”So there wasn’t someone following you?” Luke asked confusedly, his eyebrows furrowed and lips parted.

”There was but I… I knew him.” You said, looking away but reminding yourself that Luke of all people would know if you were lying simply by watching your mannerisms. “I lied cause I knew him and things were going- are going so well with Anakin.”

”I told Anakin I loved him.” You said in a softer but no less anxious.

”What? Oh my god that’s great news! Oh god I owe Lauren so much money.” Luke’s words started off strong but ended in a bit of an astonished dissatisfaction.

”Please would you stop betting on my love life?!” You scoffed smacking his shoulder before grabbing it and holding him in place. “I’m serious okay? But you shouldn’t be so happy. Not until you hear everything.” You sighed, rubbing your face.

”I need you to hep me Lukey. Please?” You asked, leaning forward to implore him. “I’ve messed up so bad.”

”You’ve been cheating on Anakin? Haven’t you?” He asked, standing up abruptly to putting one hand on his hip and the other in a fist on his forehead. “ What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked quietly.

”A lot.” You whispered, ‘if only you knew.’ You thought.

”S-so what do you need my help with, huh? Covering for you?” Luke asked in exhaustion, looking at you with an expression you’d never seen before. You’d seen him angry, you’d seen him disappointed, but this was much different.

”No, no not at all.” You whispered, swallowing and looking away from his glaring eyes. “No, I’d never ask you to do something like that I was-“

”Good. Because I like Anakin. He’s good to you, he makes you happy. He loves you. This is the only boyfriend you’ve ever had that I have thought highly of and I will not lie to him.” Luke said sternly, his tone so sharp and serious that it caused you to jump in surprise, readjusting your seated position.

”So you need my help telling him about your adulterous behavior then?” He continued, his lips pursed as he looked down his nose at you.

”No. I need you to tell me how to get rid of the other guy. Just… delicately, he’s very uh, touchy?” You said in an unsure manner, unable to convert the meaning you wanted to without using much stronger, more terrifying descriptor.

“Oh really?” Luke huffed. “He’s touchy? What about Anakin, huh?”

”I-I know Luke! I know that!” You stood up and started pacing nervously.

“You think he won’t fucking kill this guy over you? Cause he will. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Luke said in a low tone, walking over to you with a purpose. “Drop this other guy. Obviously he’s so unimportant that I have never even heard of him until you needed my help for damage control!”

“Luke, no it’s…” You whispered, shaking out your hands anxiously. Luke had never ever yelled at you like this and he was surprisingly intimidating. “It’s complicated and I… I’m so sorry.”

”You’re sorry? You’re saying sorry to me?” Luke laughed in contempt. “I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to.”

”Lukey I’m trying okay? I’m trying to fix this.” You said, nearly in tears. You hadn’t expected this kind of reaction at all. It was not at all as easy to take this side of the conversation as it was to dole it out during Luke’s fuckboy days.

”I love you. I care about you, I want the best for you and the very first time you’re close to making the right decisions… you’ve fucked it up.” Luke scoffed, shaking his head.

”I came to you because you are my best friend and I trust you.” You yelled back. “I’ve been there for you when you were in my position-“

”Don’t remind me okay?” Luke said, his voice falling flat. “I understand, of course I do. But I found Han and I am never going back to that because he is my person. Isn’t Anakin meant to be your person?”

”Yes.” You nodded sadly, feeling a sense of shame that ran so deeply within your soul that it was nearly suffocating.

”So do what you’re supposed to do.” Luke said sharply, pointing you toward the door. “Don’t come back until you have proof you’ve driven this asshat off the bridge.”

September 28th

Anakin nervously paced the waiting room for what felt like the hundredth time since you’d arrived; he’d sit, stand, stretch, walk, repeat. You wondered if he was like this at every appointment or if it was because you were present at such a sensitive one, even if you were only going to wait outside.

”Ani, please come sit.” You sighed, patting the stiff and uncomfortable chair beside yours.

”I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.” He said, refusing to sit but at least returning to your side to stand in front of you, holding both your hands and rocking from the ball of his feet to his heel.

”It’s alright, just take a breath. You already know your doctor, so it shouldn’t be much different from all the other times, right?” You said, trying to reassure him.

”I know, I know.” He nodded, finally deciding to plop himself down beside you, sinking low in his chair to slump and lean his head back against the wall with his hands folded on his stomach.

“Skywalker?” A feminine voice rang out through the waiting room, a younger woman had appeared in the doorway that lead back to the various offices of the therapists and psychiatrists.

”You’re not my doctor.” Anakin said, standing up and shooting you a panicked look.

”No, I’m here to do your intake.” She gave a polite smile and waved him forward. “You’ll be back with Dr. Richardson for your next appointment. It’s policy to go through an intake when a client has taken a hiatus from treatment.”

”You’re a psychiatrist?” Anakin looked her over suspiciously, giving you another worried uptick of his eyebrows after he’d assessed her. “I don’t- I don’t want a lady doctor.” He said quietly to you.

“It’s just for one appointment Ani, it’ll be alright.” You said as you gave him a light squeeze to his hand. “I’m sure she’s great.”

”No, you don’t understand I-“ Anakin was cut off by the woman calling for him again, looking at him with a bit of confusion as she tried to determine why he was acting so oddly.

”Is there a problem?” She asked when Anakin finally complied and began following her down the hallway, leaving you with once last look over his shoulder as the door shut behind him.

”Isn’t there anyone else to do my intake?” He asked, fiddling with the chunky rings on his fingers.

”No, it’s just me.” She responded, pushing open her office door and letting Anakin walk through first. “I’m Dr. Amidala, but you can call me Padmé If you prefer.”

Anakin scoffed, taking in the scenery of her office. She was very clearly the type of woman who thought highly of herself, exactly why Anakin did not trust her in the slightest to provide him with proper care for his condition, perhaps not even just to take the notes she’d be taking to hand over to Dr. Richardson. She had a picture of herself in front of her college framed in a shadow box along with her diploma, the room was decorated in ugly neutral colors, the occasional splash of green from a potted plant, and an essential oil diffuser that Anakin knew would leave him with a headache by the end of the session.

”How long have you been practicing?” Anakin asked, sitting down in the large squishy leather chair designated for clients while she took her place behind her desk and computer.

“Two years.” She responded, presumably pulling up Anakin’s previous medical history, which Anakin believed to be a bit unprofessional. She should’ve already read up on him before the appointment.

”Great.” He sighed, new psychiatrists always seemed so intimidated by him and his diagnosis and it was already uncomfortable enough for him considering this pretentious lady wasn’t his doctor.

“Feeling anxious?” SHe asked him, looking away from her computer screen for a moment. “I understand that, it can be int-“

”I’m not intimidated by you. I’m irritated because no one thought to mention this little change in policy.” Anakin cut her off and it seemed to startle the woman slightly, due to the abrasive nature of his tone.

”Right, well I appreciate your honesty.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Let me tell you a bit about myself, perhaps it’ll make you a bit more comfortable.” She offered.

”I’m only seeing you once, right?” Anakin asked, crossing his arms and sinking down into his seat.

”Yes that’s correct.” She nodded, typing on her keyboard as she spoke.

”Then I don’t need to know anything about you.” Anakin said plainly, receiving a curious ‘hmm’ in response.

”Well lets jump right into the meat of it then,” She sai, spinning in her chair and taking the keyboard with her to type while being able to glance up at Anakin when she needed to. “Why did you decide to stop attending your appointments with Dr. Richardson?”

”Because I didn’t feel like I needed to keep going. I don’t need therapy, I just need my medicine.” He sighed.

”Well, that brings me to my next question then.” She stated, opening her mouth to speak again.

”I didn’t pick up my meds because I was out of town at the time and I had forgotten to call ahead.” He interrupted as he anticipated her next inquiry. “CVS put my meds back up because I didn’t get there to pick it up in time and then I kind of just decided maybe I’d be fine without it, but I’m not.”

”What makes you think that?” She asked, eyebrows furrowed.

”I’ve been quick to irritation and anger, having arguments with my girlfriends over stupid shit. Not her fault though, mine.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “I just need my pills and I’ll be back to my normal self.” He added.

”WHy did you wait so long before calling for an appointment when you know it’s legally mandated for you to keep up with these treatments?” She asked, typing rapidly.

”My girl didn’t know I took any meds, she didn’t know I saw a shrink.” He said, quickly speaking again before Padmé had the opportunity to pose a follow up question. “She didn’t know because it’s not something she should be concerned about, my diagnosis has never affected our relationship up till now so it didn’t seem like I needed to mention it until I was ready to.”

”Your girlfriend, is she in the waiting room?” She asked, getting a simple nod in response. “Why didn’t she come back with us?”

“Because it’s private information and not anything she needs to hear.” He snapped, obviously feeling defensive of where this lady doctor was going with this line of questioning. “She’s sensitive and I don’t believe my past is appropriate for us to discuss.”

“Is that why you were hesitant to speak with-“

”With you? Yes, I don’t think women should be in this field of work.” He said firmly, sitting up a bit straighter in his seat. “Other patients with my kind of history can be volatile. It’s not safe.”

”You say ‘your kind of history’ and ‘other patients’. What do you mean by that?” She asked, quickly typing as Anakin spoke over her.

”My kind of history as in criminal history.” He said, rolling his eyes. “Did you not read my file? There’s a reason this shit is court mandated. I might be reformed but that doesn’t mean that everyone who keeps up with their treatments are.”

”I see, so you are ‘reformed’? In your opinion?” SHe asked skeptically.

”You really didn’t read up on me did you?” He scoffed. “I am reformed. I’m a productive member of society, I have a stable job, I have a stable relationship with a woman I love, I have a friend group, I have my own place, I’m in control of my finances. I’m doing better than most regular people.”

“Not to mention I haven’t had a single run in with police or law enforcement of any kind since before my time at the state school.” He added proudly.

”No run-ins? Does that mean you’ve still been committing petty crimes, just not-“

”No absolutely not. Don’t twist my words.” He snipped at her, cutting her off before she could finish the offending question.

”I’d appreciate if you’d allow me to finish speaking from now on.” She said politely even though she was off-put by his behavior and agrees I’ve speech.

”I’d appreciate if you’d not judge me based on other’s behavior. Like I said, I’ve been reformed. I just need my prescription.” He sighed, trying to reign in his attitude. He’d noticed the way she was furiously typing and it worried him.

”Then lets finish this quickly, yes?” She said plainly. “I assume you’re well versed in the mandatory questions.”

”Yes.” Anakin nodded, clasping his hands in his lap. “My sleep schedule remains unchanged, I’m a bartender so I get to bed late but I get plenty of sleep. Little to no anxiety when I’m regularly taking my pills, no suicidal thoughts so long as I’m taking my meds either.” He continued listing off his memorized answers to the same damn monotonous questions he’d come to expect and when he finished, he stood as though ready to leave her office.

”I’m sorry, just a few more things Anakin.” She said, not looking up from her typing. “It’s concerning to me that’s you’ve failed to share your past to it’s full extent with your partner. Don’t you think it could cause future problems if you continue to hid this from her?”

”I don’t think that’s any of your business. If I decide to tell her anything, it’ll be on my own time, not because some bi-“ He took a deep breath and stopped himself before saying something he couldn’t retract. “I will share it with her when I’m ready. She will handle it well I’m sure, considering she’s taken this with grace so far.”

”How long have you been in this stable relationship and is this your first serious commitment?” SHe asked, still typing before she switched over to her mouse and scrolled. “I’m not seeing any mention of former partners.”

”Unoffically we’ve been together almost a year.” He said with a slight hint of a smile, “But officially its just been close to six months or something.” He said before adding: “Yes she is my first real girlfriend, I’m fully committed. I plan on marrying her.”

“Well congrats then.” She said with a small smile, happy to see that at least one thing seemed to consistently bring him joy. Even if it was slightly concerning. “I assume you live together?”

”No, but basically. I’m her neighbor. We live in the same apartment complex, I’m right across the hall from her. That’s how we met.” He nodded, his mood lifting considerably and she made a point to note that.

”Have you put any thought into why this is your first committed relationship?” She asked.

”I was waiting for the right person and I found her.” He said simply with a firm nod and smile.

“If in the event this relationship doesn’t pan out the way you believe it will, what would you do?” She asked, fingers poised to type.

”That’s not going to happen.” Anakin said sharply, gripping the arms of his chair tightly. “This isn’t a therapy appointment, you’re meant to focus on my life currently and my medicine management. You’re not my doctor and you’re certainly not entitled to ask these types of questions.”

”I understand, perhaps I should’ve explained. I’m asking simply because it’s important to see how you react to inavasive questions while you’re unmedicated. Dr. Richardson mentioned you seem very defensive and-“

”And what? You couldn’t have asked me that question directly?” Anakin asked, annoyedly.

”Well in most other cases I would, but it’s been noted that you are a chronic liar.” She stated plainly, turning her computer screen toward him and highlighting the note previously made by Dr. Richardson.

”I want a copy of my full medical history.” Anakin said with clear irritation at the fact he’d been called out so efficiently. “Notes, previous prescriptions, all of it.”

”You’ll have to sign a release of information form.” She said, pulling out a stapled packet from a filling cabinet and handing it over to him with a pen and clipboard. He quickly signed and slapped the clipboard back onto her desk before she handed him another one. “I assume you meant full history as in your records from your time in the state school as well, That requires a serperate form if you’d like for us to collect those files for you as well.”

”Fine, whatever.” He huffed, scribbling in the designated spots that had been pre-highlighted. He tossed the pen down when he was finished and was relieved to see the doctor stand and collect the freshly signed paperwork.

”Follow me please, I’ll drop these off with the receptionist.” She said, ushering him through the door and back down the hallway to the waiting room. She stopped, handing over the paperwork and watching as it was faxed and filed as it should be. “Your patient file for your treatment here will be ready by the end of the day, I’ll send in the script for your meds immediately, the pharmacy should call within a few hours. Dr. Richardson will contact you with the information for your next appointment.”

She skirted around Anakin and approached you with her hand out, standing up, you met her halfway and shook her hand, introducing yourself.

”I always like to get in a few questions with the family if I’m able, would you be willing to come back to my office with me?” SHe asked, her voice friendly and sweet.

”Oh I don’t mind it’s just-“ You started but Anakin stepped in, putting a gentle hand on the small of your back.

”You don’t have to, it’s not mandatory right?” He asked.

”No of course not, it’s just beneficial to get opinions from all involved.” She smiled reassuringly. “It’s common practice in the mental health field.”

”I’m not comfortable with her going back to your office alone, if you’ve got questions for her, I want to be there.” Anakin said firmly, looking down at you in hopes you’d agree with him.

”I usually like to take family back alone for privacy reasons.” She said apologetically.

”Well, if Anakin’s uncomfortable and its not mandatory then I-I’d rather not, if that’s alright.” You said, giving Anakin a small smile to show you were on his side. It was his appointment after all.

”Of course, it’s no problem.” She smiled, bidding you both goodbye before she turned on her heel and click-clacked her way back to her office.

”What was that all about?” You whispered as Anakin opened the door and led you out into the parking lot.

”Hell if I know. I didn’t like the bitch and I’m glad I’ll never have to see her again. Fuckin’ ridiculous.” He huffed, helping you into your side of his car and shutting the door for you. “I sent in a records request for all my notes n’ shit. I didn’t like the way she was looking at me when she was talking and typing. Dr. Richardson never typed that much during our appointments.” He muttered, starting up the car and backing out.

”You wanna get some lunch? Before we go shopping?” You asked, trying to take his mind off what was clearly a stressful appointment for him.

“Absolutely princess, I’m fucking starved.” He said, reaching over to squeeze the back of your neck gently while he kept his other hand on the wheel.

Diary Entry: September 28th

I’ve been livid and trying my very best to suppress it. That fucking bitch and what she wrote about me was ridiculous. I don’t give a flying fuck if she thinks any of it is true.

Dr. Richardson is a truthworthy guy. I’ve seen him for years and I’m pissed off he’s went and ruined my day by letting this idiot do my intake. Why the hell would I need to do an intake anyway considering I’ve been a patient of his since I graduated? What new information could he have possibly needed? Stupid. It’s fucking stupid.

After we left she continued with her notes, even knowing I would be reading them very, very soon because you bet your ass I went and picked that shit up the moment I got the call it was waiting for me. The audacity she had was staggering. Calling me controlling and aggressive? I’m sorry? In what way was I controlling? Where’d she get the gall to say that about me? I don’t control you.

She’s just not used to a man telling her what to do and how things are gonna be. She’s not like you. She’s exactly the type of woman that needs someone to knock her down a few notches.

I just can’t imagine how she’s kept her job this long, or how she even fucking graduated. I even looked up her college and through the class list for her major and it’s honestly shocking someone so stupid could keep a high enough GPA to graduate. She had to have been fucking several of her professors.

No wonder she was so unprofessional, she doesn’t even have a fucking profession. She’s got a useless piece of paper and a shit attitude that she thinks makes her better than me. This is exactly why I hate seeing women as a doctor. All of them. Mental health or the fucking dentist, I don’t care.

I mean, I’d prefer you not work at all. But at least you have a job meant for ladies. You’re a waitress, that’s perfect for you. Your sweetness, the pretty smile, the cute caretaker instincts you’ve got.

This girl though? Someone ought to shove her behind the desk to replace the receptionist. She’s in no way capable of doing her job accurately. She was too busy thinking about shit that didn’t even matter. I just needed my fucking medicine. I didn’t need her to tell me I’m a chronic liar. How dare she? So what if it’s true? Or at least used to be. I don’t technically lie very much anymore I just omit the truth. No harm done.

If I wasn’t so opposed to killing women I might just find her house and snap her neck. But that would be unfair, I’m stronger, bigger. She’d have no chance. At least with men I’m sometimes, rarely, occasionally: equally matched. If they’re not as fit as me it’s not my problem, it’s theirs for not being able to perform a basic masculine task.

So I’ll just visualize it over and over again until I get tired of hearing that imaginary crunch and squeak.

October 4th

After the intital miffed attitude from his upset at the doctors office, he had slowly calmed after getting some much needed food in his belly. Almost like a cranky toddler, sometimes he just needed a yummy snack and a smooch to get him back on track or at least back to his ‘normal’ unregulated behavior. Though you skipped your trip to the mall for your shopping trip, rescheduling for later in the week after he had time to readjust. Halloween was a month away after all, costumes could wait.

His records were printed much quicker than you expected, especially after seeing the size of the stack. You knew he saw a therapist as a child so you assumed it was his complete history, including regular doctors as well, not just mental health files. It had to have been almost two inches thick and held together by three large binder clips. Atop the stack was a blank sheet of paper, save for his name, presumably for privacy reasons. Unfortunately for you that meant you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of it before he shoved it into the dash of his car and locked it away.

It seems the doctor was good for getting his prescription filled in an expedited manner, considering it only took two hours when you expected it would be late afternoon before the pharmacy called. You couldn’t help but wonder about what had happened behind those doors, what he’d said, what she had said; to make him so agitated. You assumed whatever was said had caused her to put a rush on his prescription refill.

The very moment he was handed the bag through the drive through window he shoved it into his door pocket to avoid you seeing the medicine’s names and doses. It made you feel like he might not trust you fully, considering how oddly he was acting about it. What kind of pill did he take that he’d assume you didn’t need to know about? It was all very frustrating though you tried your best to support him through the ordeal in the hopes that he’d share more when he was back on his medication.

He hadn’t yet, despite the quick turnaround. It’s been a week and his mood has finally stabilized and he’s back to his doting, loving, caring and helpful self. You didn’t realize how much he’d truly changed during the short period of time he was unmedicated, but after witnessing his improvement it was quite clear. You though often over those days about the conversation you’d had with his mother all that time ago. The look she’d given you, thinking it was so strange of her to have acted that way when thinking back on Anakin’s childhood… but now you began to understand he must’ve been more than a handful during his younger years. Piling on the stress of growing up, school, friends, it must’ve been nerve wracking to raise him.

His teasing comments and sly looks had returned with fervor, his touchy, wandering hands felt you as often as they could, his lips met yours during every lull in conversation, every quiet moment and tender embrace. Your boyfriend had returned to you and you wanted to make sure he never, ever went away again. Not for your benefit, but for his. Yes of course you’d prefer him to be this way, but seeing him suffer like he had been was just awful. Pulling on your heartstrings in the worst way, even as he was getting used to the medication again. He’d complain of headaches and being tired, needing extra comfort and love that you happily handed over without a qualm at all.

Now you sat in a heap on his lap, his hands in your hair and his lips gracing your bare shoulder with soft occasional kisses, resting his cheek there in between them. He’d been glued to you for hours now, like he had been touch starved or perhaps finally realizing just how distant the two of you had been recently. It was a wonderful feeling to be back in the swing of things, back to your normal, happy time together.

“What do you wanna watch next?” He asked quietly, twisting a lock of your hair between his forefinger and thumb, brushing the end across your cheek to grab your attention. “Movie’s almost over.”

“How do you know?” You asked, turning to look at him and scoot more comfortably to nestle yourself between his legs that were propped up on the footrest of the couch, a pillow behind your back to cushion you against the armrest.

“I’ve watched this movie a billion times.” He grinned, sighing as he moved to rub his arm and pull up his short short sleeve to point out a tattoo that you’d seen so many times but never really thought much about. “It’s from the movie.” He chuckled, watching you trace the words ‘Run Rabbit’ in his ink. “You didn’t notice?”

“No I guess I didn’t really connect the dots.” You admitted with a small, bashful smile at your lack of awareness. “You really like this movie that much?” You laughed.

“Hell yeah I do. Love Rob Zombie, I wish he’d make some more movies honestly.” He said with a nod, pointing to the screen and hushing you playfully. “Watch.” He grinned.

You did just that, turning your attention to the screen as Baby repeatedly stabbed one of the poor girls in the movie, over and over again until she finally sputtered and fell silent. As if it couldn’t get gross enough, Baby licked the knife clean.

“Oh nasty.” You laughed, making a gagging noise even as you remembered doing the very same for Ghost, it wasn’t gross then, certainly not gross now… it made you- no. He’s not speaking to you. You don’t miss him.

“You know, that’s his wife in real life.” Anakin said matter of factly as he gestured to the character.

“Who’s wife? Rob Zombie?” You asked to clarify.

“Yep, Baby’s his wife.” Anakin nodded, reaching over to grab the neck of his beer bottle and chug the remain few gulps before sitting it back down with a clunk. “I suppose you could say she’s his muse.” He added, for a moment you thought you saw his lip curve up.

“That’s… kind of sweet I guess.” You said with a slight laugh, grabbing a few chips but returning them to the bag as you caught a glimpse of a half eaten body on screen.

“Squeamish?” He teased, nipping your neck and poking you in the ribs to make you giggle.

“I’m sorry, I can’t munch on my salty snack while watching a man being devoured.” You snorted.

“Well I can, hand ‘em over.” He laughed, making grabby-hands toward the chip bag just out of his reach. He crunched them loudly on purpose just to try and annoy you, but it honestly wasn’t so bad considering the horrid stench you imagined would be suffocating the girl on screen as she waded through maggot infested sludge.

“You never answered my question sweetheart.” He reminded you, feeding you a chip.

“I don’t care, you pick.” You said with a shrug, chewing with your hand covering your mouth.

“Paranormal, slasher, thriller, monsters… what? At least give me that.” He chuckled wiping his hands off on a paper towel he’d stashed on the side table.

“Slasher.” You said without much thought, taking the chip bag back and rolling it up to set it aside.

“Let’s go with a classic.” He hummed, grabbing the remote as the credits rolled. “Been a while since I’ve seen Scream.”

Part Nineteen

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weixuldo · 2 years ago

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Unconditionally// Ch 17

Anakin x Reader

(A/N: this ch may b triggering, just read the warnings. but omg the angst is coming full on guys… i love writing this shit haha)

something snaps and everything becomes unclear

Warnings: cursing, depiction of injury, verbal degradation, argument, name calling, low-key slut shaming

____________________________________

Rain slowly tapped on the glass window panes of the room; you, Ben, and Anakin had come back to see if the new adjustments to the legs would work for him. The prosthetist wore them down so they weren't so tight on Anakin’s stumps and added some cushioning to the inside.

Currently you were waiting outside the room as the prosthetist checked some things. Ever since the teacher meeting, things between you and Anakin had been abnormally cordial.

You hadn’t spent a night at his place in about a week because he didn’t seem to want you there. You ignored it the best you could, you knew he was deeply upset after what the kids’ teacher did.

Ben had gone down to the parking lot to get the kids from Ahsoka; since you were with Anakin, Ahsoka picked up the kids from school and brought them to the hospital.

Soon the prosthetist walked out of the room, he nodded to you before continuing on to the elevator. You waited a moment before going in, you wanted to give Anakin a moment to get himself together.

When you entered the hospital room you saw Anakin attempting to balance on his new legs by the side of the bed. You knew he was an impatient guy, but he really should have at least waited for someone to help him.

He tried to take a step and faltered, he collapsed on the floor with a heavy thud.

“Anakin!” you shouted, rushing to his side.

He was struggling to sit himself back up so you carefully placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Get off!” he yelled.

“Anakin I’m just trying to help yo-”

“Stop it.”

“You could have hurt yourself”

He snapped his head towards you, “Just because everyone leaves you, doesn't mean you can run into my life and play fucking house with me”

What? He hadn’t ever said anything like that to you.

“Ani, I’m-”

“Can you just leave” he seethed as he turned his pained face away

“Anakin, I need to make sure you’re ok first, I jus-”

“You are not my wife!” he spat.

That hurt, he never compared you to her, never. He loved you separately from her.

He loved you for…

you.

“I’m not trying to be, I’m simply-”

“No, You're just a slutty whore who had to go and sleep with her employer, that's all you are” he was shaking now.

What?

“And when I had my accident you took it as an opportunity to weasel your way into my life!”

His hair was sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat, he was panting, and wincing with every little movement. You tried to ignore his words, though the tears brimmed at the corners of your eyes.

“Anakin, please…. I love you”

“Well I don’t” he spat as he tried to brace himself against the bed.

You could physically feel your heart hurting. You tried to remind yourself he was just stressed and in a bad place, you tried.

“Please… Just let me help” you said, struggling to keep yourself together.

“Get the fuck out!” he basically screamed.

He made a jerky movement with one of his mechanical arms, attempting to smack you across the face before you dodged it. Your eyes widened and you backed away from him as the tears began to fall. You covered your mouth because if you didn't you surely would have let out your sobs.

He never made you cry like this before, he had never been violent with you. You Shook your head as you backed away from him.

Almost immediately as he saw your tears fall did he realize what he had done.

“Fuck, I’m s-sory, F/N, I’m-”

He tried to reach towards you but instead winced at the motion.

All he could do was plead,

“Please”.

You shook your head and tried your best to keep your voice level, “I-I’m gonna go get B-Ben '' you said quickly leaving the room.

“wait-“ he called out as you shut the door behind you.

Luckily for you Ben was just coming back with some coffees, he set them down immediately and rushed to you.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

You couldn’t stop crying, “Just….can you go in there”, you choked out.

“Is he alright?!” Ben questioned.

You nodded and he led you towards the room. You shook your head, “Ben I-I can’t”.

He gave you a puzzled look, “Why?”

“He called me a whore”.

Ben’s expression twisted into a perplexed frown, “What? Why?”

“I don’t know, He fell and I f-found him. I was just trying to help” you cried.

He sighed, “Y/N, he had no right to say that, but you have to take it with a grain of salt, he's in a lot of p-”

“He tried to hit me”

Ben’s face changed, he shot his head towards the door and immediately went into the room.

You looked pathetic right now, you had to take a walk. You went further into the hallway and the twins saw you.

“F/N! Are you ok?” Leia asked.

You feigned a smile and wiped at your eyes, “Yeah, I, um I was just, It’s just allergies”.

She continued to study your face.. You sniffled once more and wiped your tears.

“I’m ok”, you assured her.

Now Luke was concerned, he came up to you and tugged on your shirt.

“Is dad alright?”

You nodded, ‘yes, he’s still kind of hurting from his new legs…. Why don't we go down to the gift shop? Didn't you want to get him a card or something?” you offered, trying to get their minds off of the reason you were falling apart in the hallway.

That seemed to capture Luke's attention and he grabbed your right hand, while Leia trailed behind holding your left. She kept looking at you, she could tell something was going on.

_____________________________________

Ben burst into the room ready to confront Anakin, but when he saw his friend weakly struggling to pull himself off of the floor he rushed to assist him.

Anakin winced as Ben helped him back onto the bed. Ben shook his head and put the oxygen tube under Anakin’s nose.

“You shouldn’t have tried to do that alone, Anakin,” Ben scolded, taking Anakin’s legs off.

A sigh escaped Anakin’s lips, “I know”.

Ben rubbed his temples before he resumed his original agenda.

“Now what the fuck did you do to Y/N?”

Anakin knew he screwed up big time, but the fact that his actions were eliciting profanity from Ben was another level of screw up. Shit.

“I-I don’t know” Anakin was embarrassed about what he had done, he was just overwhelmed.

“You don’t know?” Ben raised a brow and crossed his arms, “Then tell me why she came out of this room crying so hard she could barely breathe”.

Anakin’s eyes darted to Ben’s, “Is she alright?”.

Ben sighed, “She will be… but Anakin, this has got to stop. You can’t just speak without thinking; actions have consequences.”

Anakin laid back on the pillow behind him and let out a shaky breath, his punctured lung was healed now but he still had respiratory issues when he overexerted himself.

“I didn’t mean what I said, I didn’t mean to…” he trailed off.

Ben knew exactly what he was referring to, “You really shouldn't have said those things to F/N, but you did and now you must face the repercussions of your actions '' Ben stopped to make sure Anakin was looking at him.

Anakin’s brows furrowed, “I know.”

“I don’t know if she’ll forgive me…” he trailed off.

“I don’t know what I would do if she left…”

Ben interrupted his thoughts, “Don’t think about that, instead think about how to make it up to her. Anakin, she really cares for you. You can’t expect to keep her if you continue to push her away. That girl loves you and God knows you need that.”

Anakin screwed his blue eyes shut, “I know.”

Ben nodded and placed the prosthetics against the furthest wall, just to make sure Anakin wouldn’t try to pull that stunt again.

“I’ll go get a nurse” and with that Ben left.

Anakin tried to keep the stinging in his eyes down so he didn’t cry in front of the nurse, but against his wishes the tears fell anyway. How did he fuck everything up in such a short amount of time?

***

(A/N: just an update abt the story, I really love writing this one and i have a few more scenes I desperately need to write (they r just so hnng) so as of rn, I don’t have an estimated ch count. Hopefully you enjoy the story and continue, but i understand if its too much. Also if it’s easier to read it on AO3, I do have a link in my masterlist :) Thank you all!)

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#anakin x y/n #anakin x fem reader #anakin x you #anakin x reader #anakin needs a hug #sw anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker x female reader #anakin skywalker x reader #star wars anakin #starwars #star wars x reader #star wars angst #anakin angst #angst #sw imagine #sw x reader #unconditionally #obi wan and anakin

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imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 2 years ago

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Haunted

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Prompt - ‘You and I walk a fragile line, I have known it all this time, never ever thought I'd see it break. Never thought I'd see it.’

For years both you and Anakin had known you walked a fragile line, at first it wasn’t too obvious, how could it have been when the two of you were just children? The years spent growing up together, side by side were filled with the best of memories but what you didn’t know was the Jedi Council was always watching the blossoming friendship, always weary of how far it would grow.

It wasn’t until you were years older that you realised the scrutiny you were under, even if nobody outright acknowledged it, everybody knew. There were whispers in the halls of you and Anakin, ones that neither of you helped with considering how your friendship grew stronger and stronger each day. You and Anakin were inseparable, you did everything together, you trained together, you ran off together to explore the city, you went on missions together.

The Jedi Council could see the attachment that was growing but just as they were about to put a stop to it, to put some plan into place that would force you and Anakin apart, the Clone Wars began and not even the Jedi Council, much as they wished they could, could deny the fact that you and Anakin were a force to be reckoned with when you fought together.

So whilst they didn't trust this growing attachment they couldn’t do anything but send the two of you off to fight alongside each other, knowing that the risk of your attachment growing was outweighed by the war hanging over them.

The Clone Wars saw you and Anakin somehow spending even more time at each other’s side, fighting back to back for months on end. It wasn’t a surprise to either of you when you both finally caved, it had been a bad mission from the get-go, one that saw you and Rex taken and tortured for days before Anakin and the rest of the 501st could get to you.

Anakin had carried you onto the ship after slaughtering anybody who had stood in his way of getting to you, uncaring of the fact he knew he’d have to answer to the Council later for going against their direct orders to come and rescue you but their plan would have left you with the Pyke’s for days longer and he refused to do that.

He didn’t leave your side as Kix worked to patch up the injuries you’d received and Anakin barely held his anger in check, the ones who had hurt you were dead and you needed him more now. By the time you were blinking awake Anakin had managed to calm himself, smiling at you and assuring you everything was fine even as his heart raced and he remembered the fear that coursed through him each day you were gone.

When Kix finally gave you the all clear Anakin wrapped his arm around you despite your, admittedly weak protests that you were fine. You felt much better but you were never going to push Anakin’s touch away. You let Anakin lead you to his quarters on the ship, both of you needing to be close to one another after the past few days.

It wasn’t until you were in bed together, nothing unusual especially since the Clone Wars began, you and Anakin had often shared a sleeping space. Anakin had you in his arms, finally calm as he listened to you breathe evenly against his chest. He pressed his lips to your head and murmured soft words against your hair, telling you how scared he had been, how he couldn’t lose you.

It was only when you turned your head to look up at him, your expression so full of understanding, of shared fear of what could happen during the War, of love. Anakin could hardly have stopped himself, he’d been so good keeping to himself, knew the kind of scrutiny you were under at the Temple, but here on the ship it was just the two of you, no need to pretend that there were no feelings between the two of you.

That night was spent trading lazy kisses and smiles full of so much happiness, years of feelings finally allowed to be felt.

Of course neither of you were foolish, you knew the risks of a secret relationship, knew it was a dangerous game to play. Away from Coruscant it was easier to manage and whilst you weren’t foolish, you weren’t always all too good at keeping away from each other. Thankfully the Clones were capable of keeping secrets they learnt out on the field a secret from those back home, something you and Anakin were immensely grateful for after being caught locked at the lips by more than one trooper.

Being back in Coruscant was challenging, especially when you were there for longer stretches of time which was becoming few and far between as the war stretched on. It seemed like since the Clone Wars began everyone was keeping an even closer eye on you each time you returned home. The sneaking around and all the risks that came with being together were worth it, especially when you got to spend your nights together.

The two of you talked about everything but the topic you liked most was what you would do when the Clone Wars were won. If Anakin had asked you months ago, before the Clone Wars began, you would have left the Order to be with him, of that you had no doubt. Now both of you were a part of a fight, one neither of you would walk away from until it was finished, but it didn’t stop you dreaming of a life together far, far away.

So many different ideas got tossed around but the one you liked most was a quiet life together, just you and Anakin, a little house that was just yours, away from the questioning eyes of the Council, away from people judging if your feelings for Anakin were wrong. Both you and Anakin had made such promises and plans for the future, neither one of you believing that your relationship could break, there was so much love there that the thought was impossible.

And the thought only became more and more unthinkable as years passed, both of you had grown a lot in the years of the Clone Wars. You really had no choice but to adapt, to toughen your emotions but it only made you and Anakin lean on each other even more, the longer the war lasted the more you tried to hold on hope of the future you whispered about in the early hours of the morning.

But there was a shift in the Force that had you on edge, had you feeling like you couldn’t trust anybody. Anakin felt it too, you know he did but he refused to talk about it with you. You didn’t think too much of it at first, the war was dragging everybody down but Anakin was still angry and lost with the loss of Ahsoka, the shift in the Force only making his mood worse.

Each day passed and you could feel the power of the Dark Side growing more and more, leaving you feeling cold and hopeless for the future of the war. Anakin was going off more and more these days, something that had you raising an eyebrow since the two of you were practically always together, now it felt like you hardly saw him.

When you did finally see him again it was to greet Ahsoka, the young ex-Padawan looking so much more grown up than she had only a few short years ago. Somehow it felt like this war had been going on for much longer than three years, it felt like it was all you’d ever known. Anakin had looked tired and only gave you the bare minimum of responses but when Ahsoka finally arrived his whole face lit up and you couldn’t help the sad smile that pulled at your lips, you really couldn’t wait for this war to be over.

It wasn’t much later than that when Ahsoka was leaving with Rex and half of the 501st that Anakin excused himself after glancing down at his comm, murmuring something about meeting with the Chancellor. You barely suppressed an eyeroll, something about the man had always set you on edge but you’d never been able to figure out why. Anakin had always told you what a great man he was, wise and willing to teach him, but you never bought into the kind, grandfather act.

You let your thoughts wander until Cody came to alert you that Obi-Wan had received a message asking for you and him to meet with the Council, Anakin already there before you arrived with news to share. Hearing him say that the Jedi finally had their chance with Grievous had you feeling a spark of hope, one you hadn’t felt for a while, Ahsoka was on her way to attempt to capture Darth Maul and if the Jedi were successful then this war could be over.

“The Chancellor has requested that I lead the campaign to capture Grievous.” Anakin said and you frowned slightly, looking around the room and seeing the immediate disagreement, quietly sighing knowing it wouldn’t go over well with Anakin.

“No,” Master Windu said, not wasting time, “the Chancellor does not get to decide on these matters.”

“Agree, I do.” Master Yoda said and you watched Anakin’s face shift into a cold, emotionless look. “A master, we shall send.”

It wasn’t even a conversation that needed happening, one Master said Obi-Wan was the Jedi for the job and everybody agreed.

“Skywalker, your mission is to…observe the Chancellor, he won’t suspect anything amiss since he trusts you.” Master Windu said and you watched Anakin frown.

“Suspect? You want me to spy on the Chancellor? What reason do you have for this request?” Anakin exclaimed and you couldn’t help the quiet sigh that escaped you.

“Nothing concrete yet, nothing that you need to concern yourself with, just watch the Chancellor.” Master Windu commanded before turning to you. “Y/L/N, you will accompany Master Kenobi to Utapau and assist with the takedown of General Grievous.”

“And now you’re not even letting me and Y/N work together? You only wished to send a Master to Utapau and now you’re letting her go.” Anakin interrupted but both you and Master Windu ignored him. “Send me to Utapau instead, there is no need to spy on the Chancellor!”

“Of course, Master Windu.” You agreed and Anakin turned to look at you in disbelief, you could all see he was gearing up to say something but you spoke before he could. “If me and Anakin could be dismissed, I’d like to talk to him before our missions?”

“Of course Y/N,” Obi-Wan said softly, a tired smile pulling at his lips. “I’ll have Cody prepare the ship, join us as soon as possible.”

With that you nodded towards the Master’s before gesturing for Anakin to follow you out of the room who did so with a small huff. You lead him to an empty room, making sure the door closed behind you before you went to talk but before you could Anakin beat you to it.

“Can you believe this?” He huffed again, pacing the room with his arms crossed. “They suspect the Chancellor is a part of something, it’s ridiculous I’ve known the man since I was a child, he just wants to help. Not only that but they want to tear us apart, I won’t let them do it, Y/N!”

“Anakin,” You said slowly, taking a step back towards the door, there was anger coming from Anakin you had never felt before, he was practically radiating burning rage and it felt like it was trying to wrap around you, consume you, to the point where it was almost overwhelming. “I can’t speak for the Council’s decision to observe the Chancellor but for them to think it necessary then something must have happened-”

“Nothing happened, Y/N! Can’t you see, this is just another plan to keep us apart.” You couldn’t help but frown at the words, Anakin kept repeating them, convinced the Council had finally decided to put a stop to yours and Anakin’s bond.

“Anakin, we’re fighting a war! The Council couldn’t care less what we get up to in our free time, not right now. Can’t you feel it Anakin, the war is coming to an end,” You told him desperately trying to dispel some of his anger, stepping forward and wrapping your hands around his crossed arms, “after that what they have to say won’t matter. We’ll have done our part, we’ve fought this war for so long but soon it’ll be done and we can pick one of the thousand lives we’ve wished for and make it our own.”

“They’ll never allow us to do that, you have to see they want to take you away from me.” You had never understood why the Jedi forbid relationships, in the whole time you had known Anakin, in the time you’d had with him you had never felt anything bad from your bond but right here with him you could see why the Jedi forbid attachments. There was something unsettling about the possessive, almost dark look in Anakin’s eyes, the way his pupils widened until you could barely see the colour surrounding it. “Why else would they send you with Obi-Wan?”

“They’re sending me with Obi-Wan because he’s preparing to take on Grievous, he’ll need backup. If I suddenly showed up at the Chancellor's office don’t you think he’d get suspicious?” You said, keeping your voice clear and calm even though you felt anything but.

“Do you want to be with me, Y/N?” Anakin asked suddenly and you couldn’t help but frown.

“Don’t ask stupid questions, Anakin. You know I love you more dearly than anything.” You told him honestly, even with this dark cloud that seemed to hang over him, you hoped it was just because the end of the war was approaching and that once it was won everything would go back to normal.

“Stay with me then. Obi-Wan has the 212th, they’ll be his backup.” Anakin pleaded but you were already shaking your head.

Before you could say anything though you comm went off and Anakin’s face darkened as Obi-Wan’s voice filled the room.

“Y/N, we’re ready on the ship.” He told you, “Do be quick, I’d like to capture Grievous quickly without giving him a chance to escape again.”

“Don’t go with him, he wants to keep us apart.” Anakin told you but you shook your head again.

“I’ll be right there, Master Kenobi.” You said softly into your comm and suddenly Anakin’s hand was around your wrist, holding tightly to him. “Anakin, let go of me.”

Anakin didn’t say anything, just stared at you with a dark look on his face. You held his gaze until he released your arm with a sigh and you didn’t waste any time before leaving the room, not looking back as you made your way to the hangar bay where Obi-Wan waited with the 212th.

“Ready to end a war, Y/N?” Obi-Wan asked as you joined him on the ship, the warm smile on his face such a sharp contrast to the fiery, dark look on Anakin’s.

There was no time to think about that now though, Obi-Wan was right, it was time to end a war. General Grievous was so close, if today went well the war would be over, peace would spread across the galaxy and you would happily leave the Order behind to start a new life with Anakin.

“Let’s do it, Master.” You grinned at him, pushing all thoughts of Anakin out of your head for the moment.

Everything would work out just fine.

It wasn’t the longest battle you had ever fought but it was tiring, thankfully the exhaustion was beat out by the excitement, knowing that you were so close to the end gave you all the energy you needed.

Just as Grievous threw you aside, the air leaving your lungs as you crashed into the wall, you lifted your head up, watching as Obi-Wan clung to the ledge. You watched as he used the Force, drawing a blaster into his fist before he took the shot at Grievous with no hesitation.

You could only stare wide eyed as Obi-Wan kept shooting until there was nothing left but useless remains of Grievous, a breath of relief, of disbelief leaving you. That was it, that was what was needed, the war was won.

“So uncivilised.” Obi-Wan said as he threw the gun causing you to laugh and he immediately walked past Grievous' remains and held a hand out for you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder once you were up and wincing.

“Congratulations, Obi-Wan, you just won a war.” You grinned at him, both of you beaming happily, waiting for years for this moment and it was finally here.

“I couldn’t have done it without your help, young one.” Obi-Wan chuckled, “come, let us go and assist Cody and the others.”

Obi-Wan and you quickly made your way over to Cody, letting him know the news and prepared to make quick work of the rest of the battle so you could return to Coruscant together. As you and Obi-Wan made your way up towards the higher levels you were stopped by blasts directed at you, the fall and then the shock of the water startling you.

“Obi-Wan!” You yelled as you re-emerged from the water, coughing as you looked around. Obi-Wan came up for air seconds later, yelling at you to follow him and he tossed you an aquata breather.

“Come on, we must get to a ship and find out what’s happening.” Obi-Wan whispered once the two of you were a safe enough distance away, Obi-Wan climbing out of the water first, beginning the climb up the wall, holding a hand out to help you up too.

It didn’t take you long to get back to the surface, you and Obi-Wan sharing a glance once you realised it was the Clones that were targeting you. Obi-Wan put a finger to his mouth, gesturing for you to stay quiet before motioning for you to follow him.

It wasn’t long before the two of you got to a ship, both of you climbing in and Obi-Wan didn’t waste any time getting the two of you off of Utapau. You were breathing heavily by the time Obi-Wan had the ship off the planet, the Master immediately taking control of the situation in a way only he knew how to do, sending out an emergency code in a clear and calm voice, the complete opposite to your shaky hands and panting breaths.

Listening to Senator Organa tell you that it wasn’t just the 212th that had turned against the Jedi but it seemed to be every Battalion sent an ache through your heart. For years the Jedi had fought side by side with these troopers, they had become family and to have them turn on you all, it was like you could feel each loss.

The journey to Master Yoda was a silent one, both you and Obi-Wan lost in your heads, thoughts racing a mile a minute. How had things gone so wrong in the span of a few hours, this battle on Utapau was meant to win you the war, it was supposed to be cause for celebration, not whatever this was.

“Good to see you, it is, Master Kenobi, Young Y/N.” Yoda greeted as you and Obi-Wan boarded the ship.

“Master Yoda, thank the Force you’re alright.” You said as you made your way over to him and the Senator, leaning into Bail’s touch as he set a steadying hand on your shoulder.

“How many other Jedi survived?” Obi-Wan asked as Master Yoda gestured for you all to follow him.

“Heard from no one, have we.” Master Yoda told you both and Bail told you of the attack on the Temple and on Coruscant, thousands of troopers attacking and killing any Jedi inside, killing the younglings without a shred of mercy. You stopped walking suddenly causing Obi-Wan to walk into the back of you and call your name but you were staring down at Master Yoda with wide, watery eyes, shaking your head.

“What about Anakin?” You choked out around the sudden lump in your throat. “You’ve heard from Anakin right?”

“Only hope, can we, remains safe, young Skywalker does.” Master Yoda said, suddenly sounding older and more tired than you had ever heard him before.

You stumbled backwards into Obi-Wan’s chest, the man’s hands coming up to your arms to steady you and you immediately turned and buried your head into his chest, sobs wracking your body as he held you close.

“It doesn’t make sense, we know the troopers, we’ve fought at their side for years! Why would they suddenly turn on us?” You cried into his chest and Obi-Wan shushed you, his hand rubbing up and down your back as he looked down at Master Yoda.

“Have we heard anything from the Temple?” He asked, trying to stay strong, stay composed because right now he needed to be a Jedi Master, he could fall apart later.

You listened to the rest of the conversation, hearing the others tell Obi-Wan that all Jedi have been requested back to the Temple, shaking your head into his chest. You heard Obi-Wan say you must go back and stop others from walking into a trap, the two Jedi agreeing that dismantling the code was the only course of action.

You didn’t care about any of that though, all you could do was close your eyes and reach out with the Force. There was far too much distance between you and Anakin but it didn’t stop you from trying to find him, from pleading with him to meet you halfway through your connection and just show you he was alive.

The answering silence sent a wave of fear crashing through you, Anakin couldn’t be dead…he just couldn’t be.

You let yourself be guided into a seat at the front of the ship, only half aware of the plan to sneak into the Jedi Temple whilst Palpatine held a meeting with the Senate. There was an overwhelming amount of anxiety coursing through you on the journey to Coruscant, knowing that if Anakin wasn’t there then the troopers must have gotten to him first. You knew Anakin was a skilled fighter, one of the best Jedi you’d ever met, but even he would be caught off guard by the Clones suddenly attacking.

When you were landed you were forced to snap back to reality, the Temple was guarded by Clones and every one you took down sent an ache through you, especially when you saw their helmets telling you it was the 501st you were fighting, but eventually you were inside the Temple, following closely behind Obi-Wan and Master Yoda as you walked the halls, trying not to look down at the younglings, not until Master Yoda announced they had been killed by a lightsaber.

The security codes were taken care of by Obi-Wan, whilst he and Master Yoda spoke quietly together you couldn’t help but wander over to the displays. Glancing around to see them occupied, you pressed some buttons to access the security recordings, using Obi-Wan’s password to see them.

All you had to do was press play and you would see who had done this, see if you could see any traces of Anakin and prayed to the Force he had managed to escape.

You held your breath as you started the footage, forwarding through the holo recording before stopping, letting it play at normal speed. Tears filled your eyes, a choked gasp escaping you as you stumbled back, like somehow putting distance between you and the recording would make it less real.

It couldn’t be real, Anakin wasn’t capable of that. You believed that with your whole being and yet the proof was playing out before you. You couldn’t stop the sob that left you, knees buckling and you would have fallen to the floor if Obi-Wan had been there to catch you and keep you up right.

Obi-Wan finally turned the footage off when Anakin was pronounced as Lord Vader, shaking his head and pulling you closer to him.

“Destroy the Sith, we must.” Master Yoda said and you pulled away from Obi-Wan, tears staining your cheeks.

“You can’t kill Anakin!” You protested just as Obi-Wan told the other Jedi he couldn’t kill his old Padawan but Master Yoda gave neither of you a choice in the matter, saying it was too late for Anakin, he was gone and only this new Dark version remained.

You couldn’t believe it, you refused to believe it. Not when you knew Anakin better than you knew yourself, not when you had been there when the war became too much and held him against your chest as he cried for all those who had fallen under his command. Not when you had seen his whole face lit up as he snuck the two of you out of the Temple, not when you had felt him hold you so gently, whispering sweet nothings into your hair, so soft and sweet with you.

He couldn’t be gone.

Of course you had known something had changed in the past few months, especially more over the last few days but surely you couldn’t have missed so much that Anakin had fallen to the Dark Side. No, you couldn’t believe that. Master Yoda might have been so ready to give up on Anakin but you weren’t, you knew there had to be some light left in him, Anakin always seemed to shine so brightly, the Darkness couldn’t engulf it all.

“Young Y/N,” Master Yoda said as he turned to leave, “gone is the man you knew. From your attempts to bring him back, only pain and death and suffering will come. What you know is right, do, for the galaxy.”

You didn’t say anything and he walked away without expecting a reply, leaving you and Obi-Wan alone with your memories of a bright boy you both loved deeply, neither of you ready to believe what you had seen.

You let Obi-Wan take the lead, waiting alone for him to tell you he had found Anakin and when he did he gave you a choice.

“I understand if you do not wish to come,” He said softly, you following him out to the ship and trying not to cry again. “I would hardly blame you for wishing to stay away but you may just be the one who is able to bring Anakin back.”

It wasn’t a difficult choice and you boarded the ship alongside Obi-Wan, not bothering to ask where you were going. You were silent for a long time, thoughts running wild before you spoke.

“What did you mean, I might be the one to bring Anakin back?” You asked quietly, turning to look at Obi-Wan, the man keeping his gaze out the window.

“Please do have some respect for my intelligence, Y/N.” Obi-Wan said softly, a small smile that didn’t meet his eyes pulling at his lips as he turned to look at you. “Do you really believe you and Anakin have been so discreet that I haven’t noticed? Of course I know the two of you are together. I know that he would have left the Order for you had you asked and I know you’d have done the same for him.”

“You never said anything.” You said after a few moments of silence, of course Obi-Wan knew and of course he had never given you away to the Council.

“I care deeply for you both, I only wanted you both to be happy.” Was Obi-Wan’s reply before the ship filled with silence again, a planet could be seen in the distance and you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever awaited you on the fiery planet.

“There he is.” Obi-Wan said once you landed, watching a hooded figure leaving the building and you stood first, stopping Obi-Wan before he could stand.

“Let me talk to him first, please Obi-Wan.” You begged him, eyes wide and watery and Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment, eyes darting out of the window before settling back on you.

“Fine but if anything goes wrong I want you to leave me to deal with it, you get back on the ship.” Obi-Wan said, his tone leaving no room for disagreement and you nodded, not wanting to hurt Anakin.

If it came to it you didn’t envy what Obi-Wan would have to do.

“Good luck, Y/N.” Obi-Wan murmured as he opened the hatch and you made your way off the ship, meeting Anakin as he came down the stairs.

“Y/N!” He called, marching over to you and engulfing you in his arms.

Despite everything you had seen, despite the proof so clearly shown to you, you couldn’t help but sink into his arms, gripping his robes between your fingers and crying silently into his chest. Anakin hushed you, feeling your shoulders shaking against him as he tucked you under his chin, his lips pressed to your head.

“I’m so glad you’re safe.” He whispered into your hair and you shook your head, allowing yourself one more moment, one more moment to memorise the way his arms felt around you, the way he felt so strong and steady and desperately hoped this worked out, that you could have this moment again.

“Anakin, what are you doing here?” You cried as you stepped out of his arms, Anakin’s hands not leaving you as they settled on your forearms. “Tell me none of it is true and I’ll believe you.”

“None of what is true?” He asked, his tone deep and cold, sending a shudder through you.

Deep down you knew all of it to be true but until you heard it from Anakin you could let yourself hope.

“Tell me you didn’t fall to the Dark Side, tell me the death and destruction, the killing of the younglings, tell me none of it was you. Tell me you are not this Darth Vader.” You pleaded with him, watching his eyes go cold as his expression hardened. “Please Anakin, please I’m begging you, tell me it isn’t true.”

“I did this for you, Y/N!” Anakin told you, tightening his grip on you. “Don’t you see that, all of this was for us, for you. The Jedi, they are not to be trusted anymore, now the galaxy belongs to us, Y/N! There’s nothing the Council can do anymore, they can’t take you away from me.”

Your blood turned cold and it felt like your heart had stopped. It was all true, you had known it, but now you couldn’t deny it, couldn’t hope that there was some misunderstanding, some deception. It was all true.

“Anakin,” you sobbed, taking a step back and forcing his hands to drop from your arms. “I don’t want this, I don’t want the galaxy. I just want you, Anakin, that is all I ever wanted.”

“And we can have that. With the Jedi gone we are free, don’t you see it? They were going to take you from me, force us apart but now they can’t.” Anakin told you, trying to make you see reason like you were the one who was being unreasonable. “You’re mine, Y/N! I’d kill anyone that tried to take you from me. I won’t lose you.”

“Whatever the Chancellor has told you, whatever he has filled your head with, it’s all lies!” You told him, desperate to break through, to find that small sliver of Light you hoped to be buried within him somewhere. “It’s all lies, nobody was going to take you away from me, I promise. We had a plan, remember, fight the war side by side and then we would do what we wanted with the rest of our lives. We had victory in our fingertips, Anakin, Grievous is dead, we could have gone anywhere, left the Order behind peacefully.”

“They wouldn’t have let that happen!” Anakin protested and you forced yourself closer to him, cupping his cheek and bringing his forehead down to rest of yours, Anakin’s hands automatically wrapping around your waist.

“Of course they would, Ahsoka left and they let her. We were so close, Anakin, none of this destruction was needed. We could have left.” You told him brokenly, tears still sliding down your face. “Stop this now, stop this madness and we can leave together, just take a ship and leave together, we’ll find our own corner of the galaxy, we don’t need it all.”

Anakin was silent for a moment before he looked behind you and you cursed silently when you heard him mutter Obi-Wan’s name.

“I knew it! They want to tear us apart!” Anakin roared and you took a step closer to him.

Anakin-”

“Don’t, you’re a liar! You would just let them take you from me!” He cried out and you moved back when you felt his anger and rage in the Force, the strength of it almost knocking you down.

“Anakin, I love you, I love you more dearly than anything else. Stop this, please, just stop this. We can leave together, Obi-Wan can tell them you won’t be a problem anymore, all of it can be forgotten.” You knew even as you spoke that your words were a lie, the image of Anakin slaughtering your fellow Jedi, slaughtering dozens of younglings, without a shred of mercy was seared into your head.

It seemed Anakin knew your words were a lie too.

“I did this for you, Y/N! You’re all I wanted, all I ever wanted, I couldn’t let them take you.” He told you again, shaking his head like he couldn’t believe you couldn’t see it.

“Don’t put your actions on my head, Anakin. Don’t force me to blame myself for the death of the Jedi, the destruction of the galaxy.” You told him, tone firm but soft. “I never asked for this. I wanted us to fight the Clone Wars, to fight alongside our troops and restore peace in the galaxy and then I wanted to just leave the Order behind us. Nobody would have stopped us. Everything could have been different, Anakin. Why would you walk away from everything we had, from everything we ever spoke and dreamt of?”

“Y/N, I know of their plans, they were never going to let us see each other after the war. I saw it! Just the visions alone were enough to drive me mad, to actually live it, to not have you at my side-”

“Don’t you see, Anakin, none of it was real. The Chancellor, Darth Sidious, whatever he calls himself, he was manipulating you, using any means necessary to get you where he wanted you. Surely you can see it?” You pleaded with him to see sense but knew realistically he was too far gone. “He knows of our love and he is using it for his own gain. Don’t let all those words we said become nothing. I meant everything, did you?”

“You dare question my love for you?” Anakin snarled, one hand raised and suddenly you were in the air with the breath snatched from you.

Obi-Wan finally stepped off the runway, heart breaking at the scene before him. He truly had believed and desperately hoped that you could bring Anakin back but the Anakin he knew would sooner hurt himself than hurt you.

“Admit it, Obi-Wan, you want to take her from me!” Anakin shouted. “I won’t let you.”

“Anakin, don't be foolish. If you truly believe I haven’t known about you and Y/N for years now then I have done my job too well. If I were so against this I have had plenty of opportunities to tell the Council.” Obi-Wan said and that gave Anakin pause but whatever bit of doubt he had quickly left as he shook his head, the Chancellor’s manipulations running too deep.

Your eyes darted to Obi-Wan, panicked and scared, but the other man just gave you a small nod. You desperately hoped Obi-Wan could get you both out of this alive, though with Anakin’s madness, the way the Dark Side seemed to be eating him up, you weren’t particularly enthusiastic about your survival rates.

“Anakin, come with me. All three of us can return to Coruscant, we can fix this. Don’t do something you’ll live to regret here.” Obi-Wan said calmly but it seemed to only anger Anakin.

“You think I’d fall for such a trap, Master?” Anakin spat, the word like venom coming from his tongue and you watched as Obi-Wan let out a small wince, unable to hide it. “I know what fate awaits me if we go with you.”

“Anakin, please listen to him!” You managed to choke out but Anakin only tightened his Force grip on your neck and your fingers scratched at the phantom pressure, your vision dancing with black dots.

“You claim to love her and yet you’re killing her, Anakin!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, lighting his lightsaber and taking a step towards Anakin.

“You truly think you can beat me, Obi-Wan? I have powers you couldn’t even begin to understand. Soon I shall take my rule in my new Empire and Y/N will stand by my side.”

“No, Anakin, she won’t.” The words sent a fresh wave of anger through Anakin and his fist closed tightly.

You felt your airways completely close, lungs burning as you choked, pain spreading throughout your body. It wasn’t until Anakin threw your body aside, painfully hitting the ship that you were left struggling for air, slumping down on the ground and letting your head hit the floor, the sounds of lightsabers hitting against each other the last thing you heard before darkness took over.

You don’t know how much time passed but at some point you felt your body being moved, your eyes flew open and you pushed away from the hands on you, scared Anakin had won. There was no need for it though as Obi-Wan crouched down in front of you, hands raised and you let out a shaky breath.

You let Obi-Wan help you up onto unsteady feet but a groaning from your right had you turning your head, even as Obi-Wan tried to pull your gaze away. You gasped, knees buckling and sobs escaping you as you saw Anakin’s body aflame, broken groans and screams leaving him as he shouted after Obi-Wan, after he saw you standing.

“I’m sorry.” Obi-Wan murmured sadly, tears in his eyes as he pulled you into his arms and led you back towards the ship.

Once you were sat in the seat your eyes immediately found Anakin, the picture before you would forever haunt your waking days as well as your dreams, it would be one that stayed with you forever.

You didn’t know what you were supposed to do now, everything seemed so dark and hopeless. So much of your future had always involved Anakin but now Anakin was dead, left to burn on a fiery planet and you knew the pain would never leave you. You had never thought that what you and Anakin had would break, truly never thought you’d live to see the day, and yet here you were, flying away from him, heart broken so painfully for a future that was so close and lost just like that.

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