#all i ever was was worthless all i ever will be is worthless what the fuck do i have left to lose

[uraveragelonelysapphic]

Gentle Love

Pairing: Rio Vidal x Fem!Reader

Summary: She may be Lady Death, but to you, she is your sweet love.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of depression, panic attacks, just a lot of hurt/comfort

a/n: surprise! another fic! i know a lot of people have been wanting just rio fics, so here you go! a little hurt/comfort! the goal was to make a mental health fic where it isn't romanticized, so here's hoping i did that! enjoy!!!

Your relationship with Lady Death wasn’t one that had a spontaneous start. She didn’t save you from a painful demise, or help you realize life was worth living.

She had met you on her day off. (Yes, Lady Death gets days off. She’s not the only one working the underworld, you know.) She was wandering through a wooded area when she came across you. You were sitting under a willow tree, humming to yourself as you wove a crown of daisies.

Her heart had practically melted at the sight of you, and she found herself gravitating towards you. Before she knew it, she was introducing herself to you and you were inviting her to join you beneath the willow.

The two of you were pretty much inseparable after that. You spent countless days getting to know every part of each other; mind, body, and soul. Soon enough, you were deeply in love with Rio Vidal: Lady Death. And she could say the same about you.

You both had grown exponentially by being in each other’s presence. But a romantic relationship doesn’t mean the absence of all problems.

Rio struggled deeply with guilt. She hated that she had been bound to this calling, that she had been chosen to wear a face she found hideous and escort living creatures to a world beyond life. It pained her to take children from their mothers, sisters from their brothers, soulmates from their lovers. 

But you were so soft with her. Soft as you kissed her in her Death form, soft as you held her while she shook with guilt and self-hatred, soft as you assured her that she was doing the right thing. That you loved her always.

As for you, mental illness was something you had dealt with from a young age. After all, being a witch who was chased from countless villages and hunted endlessly, all for possessing a magical ability she never asked for…well, it tends to have some lasting negative effects on one’s mental well being.

You were proud to say you knew how to handle it, but you had your weak moments. Moments like now. And you hated them.

As you woke up, you felt a familiar heaviness in your bones. Your heart felt heavy but was racing all the same, your head ached, and your stomach churned with dread and anxiety.

You turned to the other side of the bed, reaching for your comfort, your person, only to find it empty. Your eyes filled with tears as you took a deep breath. 

You wondered if you should call her. You hated that the thought even crossed your mind. You could handle this alone.

“But you don’t have to,” your lover’s words echoed through your mind as you pondered what to do.

You and Rio had created a system for times like this. If ever you were feeling like the walls were closing in, like you couldn’t breathe, like you could barely function. All you had to do was think of a color and a name. Her name.

Yellow meant you were struggling, but could handle it alone if need be. Red meant you needed her.

You rarely tended to use red. You loved Rio, and you knew full well that her presence helped to calm you in times of discomfort and anxiety, but you couldn’t pull yourself out of your need to be independent and not rely on anyone for help. You hated admitting the need for help.

Even now, as you laid in bed, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to breathe, you refused to admit defeat. But you knew you owed it to both her and yourself to say something.

Yellow. Rio. Yellow, you thought as you brought your hands to your face, willing your breathing to calm down.

It was no use. All you could think of was how useless you were, how helpless, worthless, weak.

You choked out a sob as the room seemed to get smaller and smaller.

Until you felt gentle hands on your wrists, tenderly pulling them from your face.

“Hey there, sweet girl. Let’s sit you up, yeah?” Rio said softly.

You followed her instructions, allowing the witch to help you to a sitting position.

You met her eyes, expecting to see disappointment and disgust, but instead being met with nothing but love pooling in her brown eyes. 

Her hands moved from your wrists, gently intertwining her hands with yours. 

“There’s my girl. Let’s try and get that breathing to slow down. Wanna get some more air in those beautiful lungs of yours, yeah?” She cooed, her eyes encouraging.

You nodded, and she took one of your hands, placing it on her stomach as she took exaggerated breaths as an example.

You began to copy her, your eyes not leaving hers, feeling safe as you lost yourself in her.

She squeezed your hands softly. ���Look at you go. Breathing all by yourself. I’m so proud of you, mi vida,” she whispered as you found yourself finally able to breathe steadily.

You both sat there for a few more minutes, her allowing you the space to feel whatever you may be feeling as you came back to your senses.

You opened your mouth to speak, struggling to find words to express your needs. As if she had read your mind, Rio let go of your hands to reposition herself against the headboard of the bed and opened her arms to you.

You smiled at her in gratitude, moving to sit in between her legs, laying your back against her front as she held you.

You both sat in silence for a few moments, just soaking in each other’s presence; Rio running her fingers through your hair with one hand and softly caressing your leg with the other.

Eventually, she spoke.

“I’m so proud of you.”

You shrugged against her and she shook her head.

“I’m serious, my love. I’m proud of you for calling for me.”

“Feel weak,” you mumbled as you hung your head.

Rio furrowed her brows, turning you to face her. “Quite the contrary, love. You are the bravest person I know. You can handle these things on your own. I know you can. But you knew it wasn’t what was best for you, so you called for me. And I’m so grateful to be in love with such a strong, beautiful girl who knows how to help herself,” she said, her voice full of adoration that brought tears to your eyes.

“I love you, Rio,” you choked out, your hands finding her cheeks, thumbs brushing against the skin softly.

She placed her hands on your waist, allowing you to initiate the kiss.

You brought her face to yours, kissing her with all the love you had. She kissed you back, softly, always softly, pecking your lips softly as you pulled away.

“I love you most, my precious girl,” she said, laughing as you rolled your eyes at her need to turn everything into a competition.

She kissed the tip of your nose, relishing in the way you wrinkled it at the sensation.

“Alright, I prescribe you a glass of water, some chocolate chip pancakes, and cuddles with your hot girlfriend,” she said as she got up, smirking at you.

She beamed in triumph as you giggled. “Well if that’s what the doctor herself ordered, who am I to disagree?” you teased.

“My thoughts exactly. I’ll be right back, my brave girl. I love you,” she said, her eyes softening again.

“I love you, Rio Vidal,” you said with a smile, and she blew you a kiss before exiting your bedroom.

Yes, she was Lady Death, but to you, Rio Vidal would always be your gentle love.

[samcaarter]

so i've been thinking about this for the past 24 hours and i have one (1) thought (sorry for rambling and for hijacking the post, i'd have left this in the tags but there's a picture i wanted to include)

like we know that part (most?) of his journey is accepting that he's more, really accepting it. but right this moment he is terrified. he did kinda fuck up. he can only offer his company and he has no idea if it's what the player wants, he is bracing for the worst because that's all that's ever happened

but i want to mention the other path, the one that leads to his fears being CONFIRMED that what he can freely offer to the player without hurting himself is NOT enough. when the player confirms that they wanted to just have some fun and not deal with his issues and trauma

"yes, i suppose there's not much point to me if i won't have sex. my only talent, i'm fully aware"

he hopes

when he lays it all out in the open he hopes, he wants so desperately to be proven wrong. that everyone and everything that hurt him before and told him he's nothing, he's worthless, he's a tool, a means to an end, an object to be consumed and spat out and discarded, that they were wrong. that it's not true. that he's wrong to have ever believed it (and oh it's so hard not to believe it even if rationally you know it can't be true, it mustn't be true, right?)

that the first person who seems different IS different

and then, with the good path, tav validates his hope. he's not out of the dark woods, not yet, by far, but now he has a lantern and a hand to hold

(and it just all reminded me of this quote i came across here ages ago and can't find again)

How absolutely terrified Astarion looks when he says "... not fall for you."

How he looks like he had given up preemptively when he says "No matter how much I'd like to." because why would you want him after all of this. He fully expects you to walk away and end things. He both came clean about what he did and told you - from his point of view - that he has nothing to offer you. He knows he fucked up very bad, is about to lose the only light in his life, and for the last 200 years fucking up meant immense pain was soon to follow. He's bracing for the blow.

Then you hug him. And you prove him wrong against all odds. He may start counting down the hours until the end later, but for now he gets swept up in it all.

"I know that this... this is nice. :)" said without any charlatan undertones. His voice is relaxed, deeper, calm, happy, relieved, safe.

[heretherebedork]

I need to see Jack work for their relationship. I want to see him have to find Joke, to be the one to make the first move towards forgiveness, to have to put in the same amount of relationship work that Joke did to earn forgiveness in the first place.

Joke took the time to get to know Jack, to understand him, to be able to make an apology and to show him that he meant it, every word of it, and that Jack was more important to him.

Jack keeps showing, again and again, that he doesn't trust Joke and that he doesn't know Joke. He makes assumptions and acts on them and he judges him every time.

Why did he rush into the hospital and not try to comfort Joke? That's their daughter in surgery!? Why did Joke have to confess his betrayal to Jack's back and not in his arms? If Jack wants to get married, something Joke hasn't ever dreamed of, then why isn't his first thought to be comforting the man he loves?

I want Joke to leave. I want the pain to be too much and I want him to be gone and I want Jack to regret it, to need to comfort to him, to need to find him, to fight for their relationship.

I want this to be equal on both sides. I want them both to have fought for this, to have to learn what they missed about the man they love and fight for more.

(I just want Joke's trauma to be taken as seriously as Jack's. I want his pain to be as important, for his own struggles with dreaming and his own feelings of worthlessness to be faced together, to be held by the man he loves and who loves him with the same seriousness that he faced all of Jack's issues.)

[activesplooger]

Lucifer comforting reader? Self image and body harm comfort, fluff (IF YOUR NOT COMFORTABLE DOING THIS ONE YOU DONT HAVE TO HUN GRAH)

-lovely 🫐

you got it!! bit of a short one tho, hope you enjoy :]

Tears roll down your cheeks as you stare at your reflection. You're not disappointed or upset by what you see anymore, just numb. Scars scatter your body, further blemishing your imperfect skin. A scowl etches on your features. Of course, you have to look like this. It's your fault. It's your fault for feeling this way. And you just had to make it worse by tearing up your skin.

You're overcome by a feeling of frustration, staring at yourself blankly in the mirror. Words plague your mind the longer you stare - useless, dumb, ugly, unloveable. That last word struck a chord with you. You start to sob, sliding your back against the wall until you fully sit. Hugging your knees, your body starts to shake as you sit helplessly on the ground.

Disgusting

Worthless

Pathetic

Defeated-

You snap out of your thoughts as you feel a familiar slender hand grasp your shoulder gently. Lifting your head up, you see Lucifer crouched down beside you with a soft expression on his face. "Hey, love. What are you doing down here?" he asks quietly. You shrug and look off to the side, avoiding his gaze. "Hey, look at me," Lucifer grabs your chin and gently guides you to look at him, "tell me what's wrong.". "I just feel... worthless. I-I can't help but hate myself... My body- My face- My fucking scars that I caused-!".

Lucifer notices you getting worked up the more you talk, "Shh, calm down my dear, it's okay... I'm sorry you feel worthless, my love, but you're not, I promise. If it weren't for you, I don't know where I'd be.". He smiles at you, almost a lovestruck grin, "And you're beautiful to me. You're Everything.". He softly pries your arm away from your knees and gently traces your scars, "These are a testament to your pain... to what you've been through, they don't make you ugly, they're proof that you're strong. The strongest person I've ever known.".

"No," you interrupt, "I'm weak, I can't just live life normally like other people...". "Oh, my love," he lifts your arm to his lips and kisses up and down it. He speaks between each kiss, each word a praise

"Beautiful"

"Precious"

"Strong"

"Mine"

His words comfort you, you weren't cured of your insecurities of course, but it helped a ton. He always made sure you knew how highly he thinks of you, and it never failed to help you. You lean into his touch, unfurling yourself of your closed-off position.

Lucifer lights up as he sees you open up. Without hesitation, you wrap your arms around him bury your face into his chest, and sob. "Shh, I'm here," he coos, arms tightening around you, "I've got you.".

Slowly and carefully, he lifts you off the ground and carries you to the bedroom. Once you arrive, he sets you down and kneels before you, taking off your shoes. He kicks off his own boots and lays beside you, patting his chest to signal you to lie there. Your tears slow down as you lay against him, the soothing rhythm of his heartbeat calming you down. "I love you, I'm so sorry you feel this way. I wish you saw yourself the way I see you," he whispers.

"I love you too, Lucifer. Just- hold me..."

"Of course, it'd be my pleasure," Lucifer holds you tightly against him, raking his fingers through your hair and softly massaging your head. He hums a melody softly, his angelic voice vibrating against his chest.

The two of you stayed in this embrace until you felt comfortable enough to get out, Lucifer staying by your side each step of the way. He made you all your favorite foods and listened to all your insecurities, making sure you felt heard and valid in your problems.

The End <3

[ikamigami]

Y'all know what?

I shouldn't be too hursh towards Lunar when he killed Eclipse.. but I just don't think that he should kill him - y'all can disagree..

I think that killing is wrong.. but I understand how Lunar felt.. it wasn't only that Eclipse was abusing him but that he didn't care about him..

I'm not surprised why Lunar is so depressed because his lack of self-care is a clear sign of depression alongside with not being able to show emotions or even not feeling them at all at times..

Lunar probably feels like he's worthless cause let's not forget that he still feels the attachment to Eclipse.. he said that himself that he can't fully let go of Eclipse..

And I think that what frustrates Lunar and also why he distances himself from others is the fact that no one seems to get it..

I think that it's a bit different with Sun because Lunar looks up to him and I think that because he's so used to seeing Sun being able to pull through pretty much every awful thing that happened to them.. he was surprised that this time Sun can't do anything..

And surprise isn't the best word cause I think that Lunar was genuinely shocked.. he didn't expect to see Sun ever be like that cause Sun never was like that when he was around..

Lunar was still dead when Sun was in awful state with hallucinations and all that stuff..

Lunar didn't see the worst.. for him Sun always was invincible..

I understand why it might be upsetting to others how Lunar is acting.. but I'm not surprised..

And I feel bad about Lunar..

I wish that he'd talk with Sun heart to heart..

They have a lot to talk about tbh..

Imagine you're Lunar, and you see your "abuser" of a brother being docile and kind to other people while you got a whole different person from him

The hurt I would feel would be tremendous 🥲 Like was I the problem from the start?

[folkloregirlfriend]

i hate feeling ambitionless aimless the future is so bleak

[prachelley]

Based on yugioh, can you draw Joey and Seto in a roleswap au please? I imagine Seto as a poor boy while Joey became wealthy and powerful. Like a teen idol or yakuza. What do you think?

Teen idol Jounouchi, the star of the family, versus the somewhat familiar guy who hungers for victory

This was super fun to do! thank you!

[wonder-worker]

people really do not know what they're talking about when it comes to Elizabeth Woodville's social status, huh?

[widevibratobitch]

omg you hate nozze??? you hate mozart???? this is literally the first time im hearing this opinion of yours that literally no one ever asked for should we tell everybody should we throw a party

[ironmanstan]

I am coming to the realization i have been slowly killing myself with work i think oops

[ardentpoop]

‘it gets better’ and other lies we tell ourselves to cope with the crushing hopelessness of living in a world that makes us earn the right to stay alive title of my autobiography

[ziracona]

I have been thinking about this scene a lot

[miamicommune]

one more monetary setback and i am just going to kill myself

[orbmanson7]

:(

Very bad grade in therapy today

[separatismor]

.

[kateis-cakeis]

people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh

(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)