#alina starkov series

[heliads]

just a short time chapter three: my hand was the one you reached for

Y/N L/N and Nikolai Lantsov have already fallen in love. They have yet to meet. Their stories are over and done. There is far more to the world than just one series.

this time: Alina Starkov is somewhat of an enigma. No one quite knows where she came from nor how she was found by Aleksander. Mal would know, but she cannot reach him no matter how hard she tries.

this chapter's song: the great war

chapter two / series masterlist / chapter four

Alina Starkov is not very sure of anything that she is going to do with her life, but in all fairness, she’s hardly started. The truths of her apparent innocence are everywhere she looks. The doorman at her shiny new apartment, the one her label bought for her, still calls her ‘kid’ with that same guilty tone under his breath, like even he regrets the role he has in bringing her closer to the sort of life that can only pull you down. Alina doesn’t scare easily, but she doesn’t like it when others do. Not here. 

Alina does not have much of a sense for the temperaments of big city residents, but from what she can gather, they range from colorful to fiercely independent to devastatingly sorrowful. She wonders what they’ll paint her as later, when they stop seeing her eyes as just wide and hopelessly naïve. Maybe she’ll be a martyr, maybe a temptress, maybe a ruination. All three seem equally impossible.

So too does the fact that she’s even here at all. Alina was fully prepared to live and die in a small country town, and never come all the way to the flashiest city this side of the True Sea. Keramzin is a smudge on a map, hardly labeled unless by orphan cartographers in need of proof that they came from anywhere but the dust and ashes of everyone else. Alina has always been fond of maps. Even when you’re far from home, you can trace your ink-stained finger back over the worn paper and let your soul slip back to familiar territory if your body cannot.

She’s truly far from home now. Gone are her acres of gardens, her back roads leading nowhere, her former life. The only sign that Alina hasn’t gone and left the planet altogether is the fact that she can still look up and see the sun and moon dangled in the heavens every morning and night. Even those familiar sights are changed, though; the endless light in a city that never sleeps means that Alina catalogs her days under starless skies. The only constellations she’ll get are the flickerings of lights left on in towering skyscrapers, and even those must go out on occasion.

Alina supposes that she’s meant to be more grateful about all of this. Most people would sell their soul to leave Keramzin, and the fact that she’s already been accepted by such a prominent record label is nothing short of stunning. Aleksander is well known for his power, his influence. As long as he’s in her court, she can surely have nothing to fear.

Yet Alina’s still hunting for some sign that she could ever return home. She misses her old life, that much is true. She misses it more than anything, but not more than him. There’s a boy waiting for her at home, if he hasn’t already moved on. His name is Mal Oretsev, and he’s the reason that Alina will never truly be satisfied here. The gaudiest cities could feel like home so long as he was there with her. Even when Alina had no home, no family, she had him.

Thus the loneliness cuts like a blade. Separation has never been Alina’s best friend, and it’s her cruelest enemy right now. She tries to throw herself into her work, hoping that the anguish of wanting someone with you like a phantom limb means she’ll have more inspiration for her songs, but it doesn’t work, not really.

The disappointment only ever belongs to Alina, apparently. She’s unsatisfied with her debut album, seeing only half efforts and incomplete goals, but to the general public, it’s the work of saints. Copies fly off the shelves, and people are streaming her music like it’s pure sunlight, all they need to get through a day with a smile on their face. Alina smiles and accepts their praise, but all she can think is that this means they’ll need her here for longer, that her departure date is pushed off again, if it ever existed at all.

Throughout it all, Alina keeps writing home. Mal should have her address, she made sure to give it to him before she left, but her mailbox is empty of letters bearing his name. She writes damn near constantly, keeping him up to date on everything from the thrills of guitar practice to the pitfalls of having to negotiate with record label execs, but nary a response ever returns to her. Alina counts the days since she’s left until they grow far too great in number, but even then, she still harbors a secret hope that he might come back. She just has to get through this, that’s all. At some point, it will end. It has to.

Alina Starkov is half sure that she’s already achieved all she could, and the world must agree, because in their eyes, she’s already over. Alina had spent quite a good bit of time looking for reasons to hate the agency, the label, everyone there for taking her away from her former life, but it turns out she wasn’t wrong to doubt Aleksander and his treacherous kindness. He had a way of keeping secrets that didn’t agree with her, especially when those secrets involved him using her and manipulating her contract to get what he wanted.

Alina doesn’t like being a pawn. Few people do. So, when Alina saw the chance to leave, she took it and ran for the hills. In a perfect world, this is the part where she’d be hiding away from it all with Mal, but nothing here is good, so she’s on her own. It wouldn’t be the first time. She doubts it’ll be the last.

She doesn’t have much to do, but that’s alright by her. Alina doesn’t have to do anything but survive. She has enough money and resources built up through the brief stint that she was under Aleksander’s influence that she could live on forever so long as she was careful about it. Alina doesn’t want to be anything but careful again.

She can still vividly picture that last day in her head. It had felt good, storming out, but she had taken one look over her shoulder at the friends she was leaving behind and the sweet taste of victory on her tongue started to sour. They would be proud of her for getting out, she thinks, but Saints, if she doesn’t wish they could get out as well.

Maybe that will be her fate until the end of days, to sit back in relative safety and regret it. This has been her great war, her fight without reason, but this sense of betrayal permeates her quiet haze, making Alina wonder if the surrender ever really came at all. Aleksander is still out there, still weaving his sickly web around more songbirds with stars in their eyes as of yet unsnuffed.

She’s already been replaced, or so she’s heard. There’s a new young thing in town. Her smile is brighter, her naivete is greater. Rumor has it Aleksander is swearing to all the papers in town that this stand-in is better than anyone he’s ever heard before. Alina could hate her if she tried, but instead, she just feels pity. Silently, Alina screams out a warning to the girl currently in over her head:  Y/N L/N, wherever you are, run.

No one will hear her, of course. Alina is as of yet undetectable by rivals and friends alike. She had a brief hope that, after leaving Aleksander, she would hear back from Mal, like he would know that it was alright to come out of hiding, but still nothing. She has yet to leave the city, maybe that’s what did it. One day Alina will return to rolling hills and open skies, but until then, her hand will stay empty of anyone brave enough to hold it.

Still, she misses him. As if she could do anything else. Some days she hates him for never trying to find her, and other days she vows not to cry anymore only to follow up her oaths with sobs mere moments later. Alina can justify anything in her head, but not him. Not when he was always too good for any half-effort excuses.

Alina has taken to wandering for an afternoon down to a local tea shop. It reminds her of one she used to frequent with Mal back when they were both nobodies from Keramzin. That one was different:  a little brighter, a little better, but of course that could just be the gilded glow bestowed to anyone’s favorite memories. It was called The Meadow, and to them, it was everything. Alina can remember about a thousand different mornings and evenings spent huddled together in their favorite booth, light streaming in through the window to cast the air in warm gold.

She’d run there to hide one time when she finally learned she was going to have to move to the big city for Aleksander’s record label. Alina had dropped a teacup ‘by accident’ and cut her hand pretty badly. She had hoped that the scar would ruin the expectation of prettiness no doubt required by such an important label, but no. It didn’t work, not for long. Nothing in this world ever does, but maybe that’s just the pessimism of too many harried years speaking from inside her dusty, brittle ribs.

The past whispers to her, screams from its crypt, that she will never truly be able to leave it behind. Perhaps she won’t. Alina isn’t sure that she has a choice. To distract herself, Alina clicks on the news, and hears all about how she’ll soon become an archaic relic that no one would ever remember. It almost puts a smile on her face to hear how quickly she’ll be forgotten. Anonymity would be nice, but never hers, not really. Not ever.

Alina Starkov still has one more story to tell, and of everyone to be surprised by that, she must be the most affected. The means of continuing on showed up at her doorstep, first a boy and then a girl. Nikolai Lantsov was not meant to be hers, that’s why Alina didn’t take his abrupt arrival and departure all that much to heart. Sure, it was fun to pretend for a while, but he wasn’t Mal and she wasn’t Y/N, and that made everything much more pathetic.

She did visit Y/N once, right before the news of Alina’s breakup with Nikolai went public. Alina couldn’t stay away anymore. Call it morbid curiosity, call it fascination, say what you will. Alina met her second incarnation, but she was still happy she left Aleksander’s label behind. That must be growth, or at least some sort of appeasement of ghosts long since dead.

Y/N’s a good kid, even if she gets lost in her head a little too much. Alina wants to reach out and shake her, tell her that the opinions of the public will always be there, will always be bad, but she knows Y/N has to figure that out for herself. When Y/N comes around a few weeks later and asks for her help, though, Alina isn’t about to refuse. Especially not when it involves sending Aleksander’s career to the grave once and for all.

Especially not when she hears who Nikolai got to help out in their whole battle. It has been years since Alina saw Malyen Oretsev, but she swears he’s only gotten better in that time. She opened the door to Y/N’s apartment and there he was on the threshold, ready to step inside. Alina was ready to curse him out, to fly at him in fury, but he looked up at her with that same cautious half-smile, that gaze with honor and truth, and that was it; she called off the troops, all was well.

They did technically work that day, but most of their time was spent huddled together on Y/N’s couch, talking in whispered voices about everything they’d lost. Even afterwards, Alina took him to her favorite tea shop. Mal took one step inside and absentmindedly remarked that it reminded him of the Meadow. Alina had to stare at the menu with great fixation lest she burst into tears.

It was good, though. All was healed. She was half afraid that she’d be speaking to a stranger, but no. This is Mal, she could never truly lose him. They both shared similar stories about trying to reach out to each other but never getting a response, and that’s when Alina realized that Aleksander had placed another layer of subterfuge and torment on her without her even knowing.

Forgiveness was quick after that. They missed each other, and any moment filled with misguided anger was worthless. Alina whispered a quick promise under her breath, a vow that they would never fight anymore, and even as the syllables left her tongue, she knew they would stay true until the very end. Mal sets his cup down and reaches for her hand. They are quiet, blissfully so, and Alina reads the words in between their space:  the worst is over, at last. The war is over.

series tag list: @neelia-ficrecs

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @thatfangirl42, @amortensie, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggiesolovey

[sugaredquillink]

y’all i kinda gave up on this maybe i’ll finish it someday who knows

[jeanthebeagle]

Grishaverse/Ketterdam dashboard simulator

🪙 Barrelrat1877 follow

just spilled my drink on a Fierdan's boots and now he's threatening to duel me. Should I call the stadwatch??? I'm lowkey scared.

#guys please help me

10 notes

🐦 Dregsconfessionsofficial follow

SUBMISSION: Last night I was walking around the barrel and I saw dirtyhands petting a dog. Like I'm not even joking, no gloves and all. And it was one of those crusty white ones.

#submission #omg I hope he washes his hands??? # those dogs are so crusty

10,350 notes

🌊 tidesofthecanals follow

Final results from 672 votes

♠️ kvasandass follow

Razorgulls stop sending anon hate to op over a poll challenge, level impossible, no glue no borax.

#i hope they get caught for tax fraud

380 notes

🐝 thislittlelife follow

A drawing my talented daughter made of Sankta Alina. We pray to her each night 🙏🙏🙏

🐾 magic-tricks follow

46.244.29.14

🍄 thekingofravkaishot follow

hello??? Omg. Why would you dox someone just like that??? This is literally putting them in danger. It's just a sweet mother with her child, who posted a drawing. What is wrong with you.

🏵️ krugebythedozen follow

Op admitted to lying like a year ago about how they don't actually have a kid, but took the post down. It's probably a dime lion trying to troll us like they did in mass when sankta alina died. Also, respectfully, shut up. You posts thirst traps and long drawn out texts on how the king of ravka is "babygirl”. Go get help.

47 notes

🤝 theholyhandofghezenofficial follow

To the citizen who spread a highly damaging rumor that we were hosting a petting zoo inside the church, please come to talk to us. You are not in danger, but words will be exchanged. Lots of trouble was caused due to careless behavior.

⚖️ ketterdamfails follow

Womp womp

9,789 notes

🎀 justapigeon follow

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't been able to update my Pekka Rollins x Jan van eck fanfic. I've been searching for my mom for almost a week since she ran away after hearing that you had to get a vaccine for Firepox after the last outbreak. (She believes in praying to the saints.)

248 notes

🍪 eatthemerchs follow

I hate all of you. Why is this website making Kaz Brekker a soft boy when he literally MURDERS PEOPLE. No, he won't cry if you hug him. No he doesn't want to pet your dog. He'll take your eye out.

Stop romanticizing crime, all of you are sick.

(I am TIRED of the dog memes. Brekker is a crime boss. Why would any of you think he'd even care about your dog.)

🐾 magic-tricks follow

Your border collie is nice. But your chihuahua barks too much.

15,370 notes

🦂 northerstaverner follow

literally just saw some tall ass guy with a huge gun, a revolver and the brightest outfit l've ever seen, trot past my window??? In broad daylight??? Like oh my god. It felt like looking at a stork who made a wish he was human. His clothes were purple and green. Who wears that. Like, iconic. But still.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome

🦂 northerstaverner follow

He was built like a stork.

🐰 jeepsteristhebestshot follow

But was he handsome???

🦂 northerstaverner follow

I'm not answering that... who is this.

🧁sugarandredribbons follow

Op answer

☁️ theweststavesucksass follow

Op we all want to know

🫵 isthisbarrelbossproblematic follow

OP THIS IS AN URGENT MATTER

🫀dmitrithekerchman follow

OPPPPP

4,750 notes

[peraltuki]

Oh Lord ‼️‼️‼️‼️

[ekbelsher]

Alina and Mal get attacked by volcra, and her Sun Summoner powers finally show up (for the Litjoy Shadow and Bone box set)

[cutterpillow92]

Shadow and Bone, S01E02: We’re All Someone’s Monster (2021)

@giftober 2024 | day 12: Hidden

[thebisexualmedievalman]

[siriuslyobsessedwithfiction]

Alina Starkov - the most inconsistent main character. A tragedy of not wanting to have an identity.

The main character in Shadow and Bone trilogy, a prime example of "she deserved better". A.k.a. soldier, Sun Summoner, Sun Saint. In reality, a false saint and a false hero, who has less personality, goals, spine and consistency than her three love interests. How did this happen? Short answer - bad writing. Long answer? Here we go.

Her character at the beginning - a blank slate.

Physically small and weak, sickly, fragile, with a sour face and sourer attitude. Grew up in an orphanage funded by a Duke, who they were taught to basically worship while looking down on religion and beliefs in saints. Children in the orphanage were beaten if they misbehaved or didn't do chores, but were given education and fine food, which means they were faring better than peasants and farmers. Alina had not many, but several options in her life. She could learn a trade that would not require physical labour, like sewing. Or, she could marry and hope her husband was gracious enough to buy a donkey instead of making her carry heavy sacks of salt on her back, as we see a random man do to his wife. But Alina had no hobbies, interests, aspirations or ambitions in her life. Except her childhood friend Mal. Mal gets a mandatory draft in the First Army, and of course Alina follows, and settles for being a mediocre cartographer. Mal thrives in the army, showing off muscles and hooking up with women, while Alina dutifully waits for him saints know why. She doesn't have other genuine friends, she doesn't like people, she doesn't like anything. This is not a bad start in a sense that there is much room for growth and improvement.

Refusing to belong

Alina discovers she's a long awaited sun summoner, who can vanquish the Fold and unite Ravka. She doesn't want to be special, but not for the reasons you might think. Instead of fearing the burden of such an important task or genuinely becoming paranoid of being assassinated (she gets over those in five minutes), she just...doesn't want the responsibility of actually being useful for something. She'd rather not have powers at all, and go back to being in a constantly sickly state. She'd rather be tailing Mal like a mouse. Which doesn't make any sense for following reasons:

Alina's insecurities in SaB:

Not being pretty and talented

2. Not being as pretty and talented as Grisha

3. Being an orphan, being unwanted.

Being a Grisha actually solves all those problems for her. She gets prettier and healthier once she stops repressing her powers, has a unique cool power, and a community that cares for her. Plus, the support from important figures in Ravka. In time, she could have a family.

Instead, she refuses to acknowledge she's one of them, doesn't train properly, preferring to cling to her prejudices and make digs at Grisha. She'd rather complain that they're prettier, confident and pampered than acknowledge they are serfs, nothing but glorified servants with no basic human rights. Instead of her superstitions and prejudices being shattered when she starts living with them and realizing what Grisha have to go through, becoming rightfully enraged that her people are being treated this way, she still doesn't feel any empathy. In fact, she still doesn't see the General as a HUMAN BEING WHO MIGHT HAVE FEELINGS, even though he makes time in his busy schedule of running an army to make sure she's comfortable, jokes along with her, listens to her fears and reassures her, etc. Why would he go through the trouble if he was heartless? He's the General of the Second Army, by the King's law, she's his soldier. She is obligated to obey him regardless.

The narrative supports her delusions.

I get missing her friend, I get struggling to adjust, but it's more than that. Alina is getting dragged along from a plot point to a plot point kicking and screaming, as if she has anything better to do. She doesn't have a life, why is she so against of getting one? Once she finally somewhat adjusts to her life in the Little Palace, it turns out Darkling has had malicious intents towards her powers all along! Aha, you were right to be prejudiced, Alina! Now abandon your people, your country, and run!

“He … he said that Darklings are born without souls. That only something truly evil could have created the Shadow Fold.”

Imagine telling a person who saved your life that he was a soulless abomination, even though you do not know him, and he is still kind to you and reveals as much about him as he can. There is no grooming and manipulation here, it's just called not being a bitch. Darkling tells Alina he's over 120 years old, Alina is an adult, and the damned kiss was consensual. Of course he didn't tell her everything. Even regular people don't reveal their life-long ambitions and deepest childhood trauma to their crush after several conversations. It took Alina months to stop being in denial about being a Grisha, still didn't like being one, you're telling me if Darkling set her down and explained the complex political situation and his plan to overthrow the corrupt monarchy and bring an end to the war, Alina wouldn't jump out of the window?

Alina running away, not confronting the problem, and straight up deciding Darkling was evil incarnate with no evidence snowballed into Darkling deciding she couldn't be trusted and taking more drastic measures. Liberation of his people was on the line and one pesky girl screwed up a carefully planned coup because she couldn't handle her feelings.

False badassery

Throughout the whole three books, every time Alina makes a decision, it's immediately followed by self-doubt, shame and scorn. But no actual objective criticism. We often see variations of "It was foolish, but I didn't care", "I knew it was reckless but I couldn't bring myself to care", but never her actually analyzing why, or deciding not to do something like that again. Her small victories are immediately followed by thoughts on how would others feel about it, even though the person in question isn't even there and couldn't give less of a shit: "Never is it to be said that Ana Kuya didn't teach us manners", "A cheap trick, but a good one. Nikolai would be proud". Ana Kuya was an abusive mother figure, Nikolai was using Alina's status to get the throne. Sure, it's good that Alina is capable of learning useful things from every kinds of people, but she doesn't think "That was smart of me. I learnt that. I'm proud of myself for an accomplishment". She thinks "Is it good? Would they like it? They like things like that, right?". She attaches herself to people that fit her view of "deserving" and helps them, even though it might not be for the best. Extreme lack of self-worth, combined with entitlement.

When Alina hears a rumour Darkling ordered his heartrenders to sew a traitor's mouth shut, she's horrified. Even though that's hardly the worst punishment for a traitor in an army. But when some pilgrims insult Genya, she orders to have their tongues cut out after they're given only one warning. When Alina commits violence at slightest provocation, it's baddass. But when Darkling commits a controlled necessary military act to stop enemies from overrunning the country, it's madness and is falsely labeled genocide. Look up the definition, genocide is what was happening to Grisha.

The Darkling never kidnapped children and put them in the war zone. He only lied to Alina that he did, a clever strategy with no bloodshed. Meanwhile, Alina let her cult fight for her, whose members were brainwashed children, some only twelve years old.

When Alina faces a dilemma or a tense military situation, her go-to strategy is suicide. That is not martyrdom, nor it is badass.

Darkling became a bad person out of good intentions and desperation, Alina is just a bad selfish person.

Desperate people are the ones capable of the worst acts. Darkling didn't go nearly as crazy as he could, and frankly had a right to on behalf of his people.

"Aleksander had marched south with the king’s soldiers, and when they’d faced the Shu in the field, he’d unleashed darkness upon their opponents, blinding them where they stood. Ravka’s forces had won the day. But when Yevgeni had offered Aleksander his reward, he had refused the king’s gold. “There are others like me, Grisha, living in hiding. Give me leave to offer them sanctuary here and I will build you an army the likes of which the world has never seen.”

It doesn't matter how much genocide, prejudice, abuse and dehumanization the Grisha suffered through for centuries all around the world, Alina never bothers to look at the big picture. Her help is only for those who she deems worthy of it.

She attaches herself to people who fit her narrow-minded view of "worthy". She immediately believes Baghra's rather flimsy expose of Darkling, even though the old woman has been nothing but unhelpful to her, only insulting her and beating her. But Alina associates her with her only mother figure, Ana Kuya, another old hag she had a toxic relationship with. And even though Baghra is an immensely powerful Grisha who refuses to help or even lift a finger, or just spit out vital information, Alina coddles her and provides protection. Instead of telling her to fess up the useful information and save her unhelpful comments, Alina looks up to her as a mentor.

When Genya tells her story, Alina feels bad for her, but not bad enough to see things her perspective. She only becomes protective of Genya once she gets mutilated, out of pity. If it was genuine compassion, she would've forgiven and understood her from the start.

Every Grisha has been hunted and shamed for merely existing, almost every Grisha has lost a loved one to war. But Alina pointedly ignores it, because she doesn't personally know and care for those people. Therefore, she doesn't feel empathetic. Because if she feels empathetic, she might start feeling guilty about how she runs away from her responsibilities at every given opportunity. Just look at this passage:

“You know what he plans to do, Ivan.” “He plans to bring us peace.” “At what price?” I asked desperately. “You know this is madness.” “Did you know I had two brothers?” Ivan asked abruptly. The familiar smirk was gone from his handsome face. “Of course not. They weren’t born Grisha. They were soldiers, and they both died fighting the King’s wars. So did my father. So did my uncle.” “I’m sorry.” “Yes, everyone is sorry. The King is sorry. The Queen is sorry. I’m sorry. But only the Darkling will do something about it.”

The Darkling never wanted power for selfish reasons. He didn't want to take over other countries or lift Grisha above regular people. He wanted his kind to have basic human rights. Centuries of diplomacy and servitude only gave him enough power to make a school for Grisha children and save adults from slavery and getting slaughtered by serving nobles. He wanted to use the Fold as a border, to stop enemies from invading whenever they pleased, so he would have the time to save Ravka from collapsing. What has Alina done? Started a civil war, destroyed the Second army and helped put a morally dubious man with no claim on the throne to continue an outdated absolute monarchy tradition.

Alina Starkov was meant to be the sun, but turned out to be a trick of the light.

Every time it felt like Alina was emerging from her cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, embracing her true self, she went back to the toxic situationship and the toxic mindset. The narrative also always struck her down. Every book begins and ends with her being sickly, fragile, missing an essential part of herself. It would be good if it was written differently and showed themes of being disabled or having a chronic illness accurately, but it's not. It started out well. Alina was removed from an abusive environment, found a purpose in life, started loving her newfound powers, outgrew the stupid crush who she was way too dependent on, but it all went downhill from there. And then some. This constant vicious cycle does not fit the theme of growth and improvement, and neither does the ending, where Alina loses her powers and goes back to the orphanage. Once again, she's frail and strange, servants (who she now employs) don't respect her, sneer and make fun of her, while her now husband Mal turns a blind eye. Everything is back to the way it was: Mal thrives, Alina is...there. The ending is supposed to be bittersweet, a couple who survived a war building a new life together, but I don't see the sweet part.

Trick of the light - definition: something appearing different from what actually is as a result of the quality of light.

Darkling wanted her to be a strong Grisha, his equal and balance. Grisha wanted her to be a capable leader, Bataar twins wanted a living saint they could worship, Nikolai wanted a wife interested in Ravka and politics. Alina tried to be all of that, but never really wanted to be any of those, so she half-assed it. Mal wanted the version of Alina who was small and insignificant, because anything more made him insecure, and he got his wish.

Illusion, mirage, spectre.

No matter how much the author tries to tell us that Alina's every problem is Darkling's fault, her thought process and actions paint a different picture. Alina was never mentally healthy and she never addressed or resolved her problems. Growing up in a controlled and abusive environment affected her more than anyone, including herself, wants to admit. I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so I will refrain from officially diagnosing Alina, even though she's a fictional character. I am NOT saying I know for certain that Alina has these, if any, mental problems, but she does have some alarming symptoms. It seems like depersonalization. While her symptoms don't fit into one particular mental disorder, I am reminded of psychiatric infantilism, but it is not a mental illness with symptoms. Psychiatric infantilism doesn't necessarily mean the person acts outwardly childishly. To explain very roughly and simply, it means the psych is not as developed as it should be (even if the person is very smart and clever). It shows in avoiding responsibility or not feeling it at all, problems with social connections, not seeing the big picture and taking it seriously, etc. When Harshaw tells the story of his brother getting brutally murdered by people who hate Grisha, even brash Zoya is appalled and expresses her condolences. While all Alina thinks about is that Harshaw might base his hope of having a better life on her now.

Alina also might have Dependent Personality Disorder, but it's hard to say, since we are never shown her being on her own long enough to see whether or not she can take actually care of herself. But her relationship with Mal, Darkling and Baghra (after she no longer objectively needs them) is weird, to say the least.

She never gains the sense of self or an identity, she refuses to become something, then delivers an inner monologue of accepting her fate and five minutes later goes back on her words. Her willingness to sacrifice her life is never out of thinking of the greater good and future, justice, or patriotism. She just doesn't want to live, especially without Mal, who has been doing nothing but shitting on her. Her titles are slapped on her, and she peels them off. Her personality never really changes. Everything she went through feels like a really bad exchange program she was in for a year, and from which she has learnt nothing.

P.S. I don't hate Alina's character, I just mourn her lost potential.

If you have made it to the end, I salute you, congratulations and thank you. 😊 🙏 ❤️

[adriiivna]

Alina and the Morozova Stag

[1asbrightasthestars3]

"maybe in another universe I just get to be a kid and not trying to save everyone."

The other universe:

[karinagiada]

Sankta Alina ✨

[serpentthecrow]

Sleepy time with the grishaverse characters

A/n: I... Don't even... Sorry about that. My executive dysfunction did its magic. But here you have this as a peace offering since you guys liked the crows one. I can't even believe how long it's been. I'm probably not going to keep writing too many fics, if any at all. But this one's mandatory. And short.

Summary: headcannons on the sleeping habits of (some of) the grishaverse characters.

Alina Starkov

Hear me out

The girl's out like a light

Exactly the type of person to roll around the bed, end up in peculiar positions, and mainly, accidentally slap you or kick you in her sleep

Isn't picky, but if she COULD choose- only the softest mattress, duvet and pillows

She's petty like that

Has absolutely no night routine. Like. NONE.

Owns no pajamas. Just normal clothes passing as sleep clothes.

Gonna use her sun summoner powers when getting up in the middle of the night to fetch water etc., only to curse profusely because ✨light sensitivity✨

Midnight snacks. No elaboration is needed.

Definitely owns a stag plushie. Cause poor thing.

Mal Oretsev

Sleeps like he's in a coffin

No honestly. Like, on his back, straight as a plank. Psychopath.

The nightmares tho.

The biggest duvet stealer

Never actually uses the duvet tho. Kicks it away every time

Can barely be bothered to change

Absolutely cannot be bothered to make the bed

Hasn't got a single idea how to put on a bedsheet

Red flag: eats in bed too often

Occasionally has a dream about Nikolai throwing him overboard Volkvolny and grinning down at him, saints know why.

Would fall asleep under any circumstance. Light, loud sounds, anything. Bang two pans repeatedly next to his head, and the guy will still fall asleep if he's sure he can afford to.

Has a phoenix plushie. Pun intended.

Aleksander Morozova

does this guy even sleep? Questionable.

But in case he does:

A side sleeper

Surprisingly heavy sleeper

Rarely sleeps in bed when unsupervised tho. Not uncommon for him to fall asleep in a chair.

Black silk sheets only.

Talks in his sleep

Seriously.

If someone walked in on him sleeping, he'd be long since executed for treason.

Absolutely unaffected by caffeine

Produces a whole lotta shadows before going to sleep, roused by the slightest amount of light.

The extensive night routine is canon.

Doesn't have a plushie. The only one in this hc series btw.

Nikolai Lantsov

my favorite sailor bo- anyway

(Let's ignore Volkralai for the purpose of these hc's)

A stomach sleeper. We stan.

A pillow hugger. We stan.

Mostly blue bedding, especially in the palace or the spinning wheel, since we all know he misses the sea.

Another one with a whole-ass night routine.

Reduced amount of clothes when sleeping- usually just pants

They're pajama pants tho

Has some trouble falling asleep on land, he's used to the rocking of the ship

nap king, especially as Sturmhond

Reads a LOT before bed

A night owl- has to be reminded to got to sleep

Sometimes starts to rant about some invention of his

C A N N O T fall asleep without cuddles. Like, he's physically unable

The biggest manchild about waking up early.

Has a fox plushie. A fact.

Genya Safin

babygirl has nightmares, okay? Gotta start with that.

lowkey got accustomed to some level of luxury in Os Alta

not the biggest fan of cuddling. For understandable reasons

a warm beverage before bed

fuzzy socks

tries to maintain an exact time to go to sleep but ultimately fails because she's got trouble falling asleep

probably improves on her sleeping habits once she becomes a part of the triumvirateonly cause she has to tho

overthinking before sleep queen

does she have a plushie? Does David count? You tell me.

[sugaredquillink]

*drops this and runs*

[geekgirl531]

The Grishaverse OTP Candy Salad Pt 2

Nina: Well, after that cheery display, it’s my turn.

*flips hair and dramatically produces gummy bears from cleavage*

Nina: My boyfriend was trained as a living weapon to hunt my people, and he tried to choke me when I broke him out of jail. He also dreamt about killing me, and his pet name for me was Corpse Witch. Oh, and he’s dead too.

*dumps candy in and hurries off to Inej before anyone can tell she’s about to cry*

Inej: Hi, I’m the Wraith-

Leoni: Cut! Can she say that?

Kaz: My Wraith can say whatever she wants.

*glares at Leoni with “the stare”*

Inej: Hi, I’m the Wraith, and Kaz called me his investment. I brought watermelon Sour Patch.

*cut to Nina shaking her head at a red-faced Bastard of the Barrel*

*special outtake*

Inej, whispering: Are they gone?

Nina: Yep. They’re getting Jesper more candy. He ate all of his.

Inej: Good. Turn on the camera.

Nina: Aye aye, Captain Ghafa.

*turns camera on *

Inej: Hello there. My name is Inej Ghafa, and I may be Kaz’s investment, but the real love of my life is Nina Zenik.

*Nina blushes, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear meekly and touches Inej’s hand softly*

Nina: I don’t have candy, but my love for you, Inej, is priceless.

Jesper: WHAT???

*Inej freezes, Nina is unfazed*

Nina, flipping her hair: You heard her loud and clear, Fahey. I’m the love of her life. Jealous?

Kaz, walking in: Nice to know.

Nina: Oh, please. We all know you’re in love with kruge, Brekker.

Kaz, reaching for the camera: Okay, we’re done here.

[aesthetic--mood]

Shadow and bone Aesthetic

[queen-aelin-of-terrasen]

Nina: in a world where it is cook or be cooked, I choose to bake

Jesper: *applauds*

Kaz: what the fu—

Inej: INSPIRATIONAL

Kaz: yes. that.