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kendrixtermina · 4 years ago

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Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.

#enneagram #enneagram type 5 #feelings #enneagram 5w4 #5w4

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coolkoalameditation · 1 year ago

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10 Tips to Help Kids Fall Asleep with Anxiety

Separation anxiety at bedtime

Separation anxiety at bedtime is a common problem for children, especially between the ages of 2 and 4. It can be caused by a number of factors, such as a new sibling, a move to a new home, or starting daycare.

If your child is experiencing separation anxiety at bedtime, here are 10 tips to help kids fall asleep with anxiety:

Set a consistent bedtime and wake-up time. This will help to regulate your child's body clock and make it easier for them to fall asleep and wake up at the same time each day.

Create a relaxing bedtime routine. This could include taking a bath, reading a story, or listening to calming music. Avoid watching TV or using electronic devices in the hour before bed, as the blue light emitted from these devices can interfere with sleep.

Make sure your child's bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool. Darkness helps to promote the production of melatonin, a hormone that helps to regulate sleep. Noise and light can disrupt sleep, so make sure your child's bedroom is as quiet and dark as possible. A cool temperature is also ideal for sleep.

Avoid caffeine and sugar before bed. These substances can make it harder for your child to fall asleep.

Get your child regular exercise/ bedtime meditations. Exercise can help to improve sleep quality, but avoid exercising too close to bedtime.

Help your child to identify and manage their anxiety. If your child is experiencing anxiety, talk to them about it and help them to develop coping mechanisms. There are also a number of relaxation techniques that can be helpful, such as deep breathing, meditation, and visualization.

Make sure your child is getting enough sleep. Most children need around 10-12 hours of sleep per night. If your child is not getting enough sleep, they may be more likely to experience anxiety.

Be patient and understanding. It may take some time for your child to learn to fall asleep with anxiety. Be patient and understanding, and offer your support.

Seek professional help if necessary. If your child's anxiety is severe or is interfering with their daily life, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help your child to develop coping mechanisms and manage their anxiety.

Remember that you are not alone. Many children experience anxiety, and there are resources available to help you and your child. Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional if you have any concerns.

I hope these tips to fall asleep with anxiety for kids will help your kid feel calm and motivated.

If your child's separation anxiety is severe or is interfering with their daily life, you may want to seek professional help. A therapist or Cool Koala’s Kids Bedtime Meditation can help your child to develop coping mechanisms and manage their anxiety in several ways.

Check out related post: Meditation and Childhood Anxiety

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#Kids Bedtime Meditation #Bedtime Meditation For Kids #Guided Sleep Meditation For Kids #Meditations For Kids #Night Time Meditation For Sleep #Guided Bedtime Meditation For Kids #Alexa Sleep Meditation #Bedtime Meditation For Anxiety #sleep and relaxation kids #Meditation For Kids With Adhd #Alexa Kids Meditations #Alexa Sleep Music

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overweightexcheerleader · 4 years ago

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THE POWER OF MEDITATION

I decided to post this sweet message today all on a whim. I felt that it was important that I maintain the same amount of transparency that I reflected upon you upon my creation of this page. My entire life, I have been beating the energizer bunny in the the races. What races? I am not quite sure. From doing my makeup, to cooking breakfast, to my full time job, to working my business, to reading, to walking to the bathroom, through it all, I have felt this urge and necessity to rush. This has only done me harm more than it has done me good. I know that anxiety runs in my family and I always thought that I had it under control, but reality has truly started to set in throughout this entire time in which I have been quarantined, I still am. I have noticed that me rushing everything in life has brought me to the point where my anxiety has been so difficult to control that I feel almost as if my health is deteriorating. That is not ok. I look at my daughter daily and I worry for her. I listen to the words of my husband as he says "you are going to die of a heart attack" and what to him may have been a joke, to me it brought fear. Not fear of death rather, fear of leaving my child on this planet motherless. That ladies and gentlemen, is the scariest thing I can ever think of. I had always heard of meditation, yoga, self-care, self-healing, I thought it was nothing but bs, but something had to change. That in mind, I tried it out, mediation. I started to realize that on days when I did it, I found comfort, I found peace, I found that I went through my day feeling light as a feather and not so stiff as that board. I still was not completely sold; however, because I am stubborn, still have yet to find the cure for that, I permitted my work and my daily tasks to take charge yet again and did not meditate for a few days. In again came the insomnia, my mind running rampant in the middle of the night, getting up ‪at 3am‬ to see if I have gotten any emails for my company, checking IG, who does that? I do.

Yesterday I had one of the craziest of days and ‪this morning‬ I got up at the same time Alexa did, ‪6:30am‬. I said "let me start working" but my mind, my body, said "STOP. This is your time. Enjoy this moment and this peace." I grabbed my mat, turned the lights off and got back to my meditation exercises. Outcome, I feel as if I am at a complete peace again. As I lay there with my back pressed upon the mat, performed some yoga stretches, took my deep breathes in and deep breathes out, turned my head in circular motions, let myself go, let's just say what was supposed to be a 5 minute exercise turned into a 13 minute one.

I do apologize for this long post but I have to just let you know how much I recommend meditation. This is the perfect way to start and end your day, at peace. We are all very well-deserving of OUR moment. Away from the stresses of life, away from work, away from our kids, away from our spouses, away from it all. You deserve YOU time. Take that moment and enjoy it. Following my exercise, I walked to make my tea, I took my time to make it, I got to posting instead of jumping into work straight out of bed, I took my breathes. I know it is hard, but try. Feel the rewards that I am feeling.

Moral of the Story: Self-Meditate DO NOT Self-Medicate.

Happy Tuesday and I appreciate you for allowing me to share.

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avengerscompound · 6 years ago

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The Tower - Chapter 28

The Tower: An Avengers Fanfic

Chapter 28

Series Masterlist

Chapters: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen / twenty / twenty-one / twenty-two / twenty-three / twenty-four / twenty-five / twenty-six / twenty-seven / twenty-eight

Word Count: 6000

Warnings: smut (Bisexual orgy. There’s a bunch of stuff that happens. There’s like 10 people involved).

Synopsis: The group return home and the healing begins. Elly makes a new friend. Goodbyes are said

Author’s Note: Co-written with @fanficwriter013

Chapter 28 - Home

So much happened over the next few months. Alexa was sent to the Raft awaiting trial for her long list of crimes. The cancer took her before it ever happened. The rest of the people who were working for Medusa were processed. Many were sent to prison for varying sentences. I had to testify to the things I saw. As did everyone else.

Scott went back to LA as soon as the debrief was finished. He missed his daughter too much, which was understandable. Hill and Rhodey both stuck around to help with the sorting out of the tower and working out who we could trust and who we couldn’t. Coulson’s team even stopped in every once in a while to help day to day operations when they weren’t busy with other things.

It took Wanda about a month to recover from her injuries. She was very needy the entire time. It was to be expected and all of us were happy to spend time with her. Truthfully, we all were to different extents. When she was being confined to medbay there was always at least one person with her. We ended up pushing a second hospital bed up with hers. In the end, she was pretty much constantly snuggled up with one of us. When she was allowed out of bed, she still wasn’t allowed to work for a while, but she was much happier. Emotionally she seemed to bounce back pretty quickly really. Or maybe this was just a struggle she’d gotten used to and she’d just returned to the woman I knew who was already dealing with being hurt by HYDRA.

Clint was generally pretty okay. They’d taken him to try and get Wanda and Bucky to comply but he can take a beating better than most and they’d ended up giving up and leaving him alone. He was also quite needy though. He was never not with someone else. Usually Nat but it was quite common to find him snuggling in the hospital bed with Wanda too.

Bucky physically recovered very quickly but he did have quite the emotional backslide. He didn’t talk a lot and he flinched when anyone other than Steve or Sam went too close to him. His nightmares returned too. He and I were both referred to Wanda’s therapist. He was actually a full agent and the head of the whole department and organized therapists and psychologists for everyone in the whole tower. Because he was Wanda’s we knew he was one of the good guys because she’d gotten to see right into his mind on a weekly basis. His name was Jax and he was a miracle worker. After a week of seeing Jax every day Bucky started to seek other people out. He gradually started trusting them to touch him again, even though you couldn’t do it unless he asked to begin with. After a month he was back to liking to sit and have his hair played with. Two months and his nightmares were lessened to the point that as long as Steve was there he was okay having other people in bed with them.

With me, Jax was just perfect. I can’t even begin to tell you how good I was feeling about myself after each session. He had me journalling. He helped me with meditation techniques and coping mechanisms related to my past, the kidnapping and this recent incident. He pinpointed key problems with my behavior and the behavior of the others that was causing me problems. There was just so much he got about me and the situation I was in. Even after what happened I was feeling better about myself than I had in a long time. Since ever really.

Also, it was because of him I met my best platonic friend in the whole world. Her name was Clarke and she and Jax had been living with each other since before the fall of SHIELD. It was a pure accident we met. I was in his waiting room with a woman. I had seen her around the building, she was not exactly easy to miss. She was slight, with strawberry blonde hair and violet eyes, a result of a condition known as Alexandra Genesis. When I first sat down I was a little confused as to why she was there and when I said hello to ask her if I’d made a mistake about my appointment time she nearly bit my head off.

“What do you want?” She hissed at me.

“Uh… to see my therapist?” I said as a question more than a statement.

She shook her head. “Sorry. I just…” She waved her hands around. “I have trust issues. People are always…”

“Because of the eyes?” I asked. “They want to collect you right?”

She narrowed her eyes at me and looked me up and down. “Something like that.” She said relaxing. “You’re dating Tony Stark right?”

“Yep, and that’s why people want to collect me.” I half-joked.

She laughed. “And you work in the labs too. I’ve seen you in there with Doctor Banner.”

I nodded. “Yeah. I’m a biologist. You’re an agent?”

“Yep. But I also am a bit of a lab squirrel too. I.T. though. I helped fix the code in FRIDAY.” She answered.

“Oh my god! Thank you! I missed her so much.” I said. We then just started getting nerdier and nerdier as we talked. I completely forgot I was waiting for Jax and he came out and looked at both of us with the biggest smile on his face. He then organized to have her sign an NDA and have Wanda clear her. All of a sudden, I had this friend that I not only just loved being around, but I could tell anything I wanted to. She was so chill about me being poly. She and Jax were open, so she totally got it. She made jokes about me being superhero catnip and she’d rank them in how much she wanted to sleep with them. Which I know sounds awful, but I loved it. She got me and she didn’t treat me like something precious, or suck up to me. She gave me shit and got me out of my head. She was exactly what I needed to make me finally be completely okay with the relationship. Because the thing is, not being able to tell anyone about your relationship is hard. I had struggled with it despite understanding why it was the way it was.

During the few months we were getting ourselves back together as a group we were fairly unwilling to ever leave each other alone. At night the sofa bed in the common room was pulled out a lot because we all just wanted to sleep in big puppy piles. If it wasn’t the sofa bed it was in my apartment where the bed was big enough to fit everyone. It wasn’t even sex. In fact, there wasn’t a lot of that in the first month back in the tower at all compared to before. It still happened but not everyone was emotionally there yet. We just needed each other to be near.

So out of a joke Clint and I made, Tony added a shared bedroom, bathroom, and closet to the common floor. The idea being that if we needed each other we had a place to go. The end result was finished within about a month and a half. He had people working like crazy on it. I can’t imagine the NDA’s the contractors had to sign because what it turned out like was nothing short of screaming; we all sleep together.

What we had when it was done was nothing short of amazing. The closet was massive. Basically a full room of clothes that fit each of us and were in all our styles. There were also clothes for guests if there ever were any. Just a random selection of things in various sizes. Even though I had opted to be closed poly, not everyone else was that way. The bathroom had this huge spa. It wouldn’t fit all of us (there was a hot tub on the roof and one in the pool that would) but I think at least half, maybe more depending on super soldiers and gods being involved. The shower was its own room. How Tony had managed to get the design so it wasn’t like a gym communal shower was beyond me. But he did it. There were all these amazing heads, including a large waterfall that ran down one end of the room. There were benches you could sit or lie on made of wood. There was plant life in the room. It was just amazing.

Finally, the bedroom had a huge round bed in a sunken pit in the floor. It easily fit us all. It was easy to escape and so comfortable. It ended up getting used every night. Not by all of us all the time, but there was always at least two people in there.

Now I know what you’re waiting for. You want to hear about Thor. The thing is, when Clint said that he comes down and there’s a line, he wasn’t kidding. He is such a warm and gentle man despite his size and strength, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and even Bruce all gravitated to him. Even at Bucky’s worst, you could find him sitting between Steve and Thor making himself small like he needed them to take the eyes off him.

When he wasn’t with one of those four, which was most of the time, he had the others waiting for their alone time. He wasn’t going to be here for long, and even though they were okay with him being gone, they missed him when he was. Whereas I didn’t know him at all and with everything else, I just didn’t care. I had too many other things to process to worry about Thor. I enjoyed talking to him. Occasionally, if I was able to sit next to him, he’d put his arm around my shoulder or his large hand on my thigh. I would lean into him and he’d hold me. It was nice. He was warm and comforting. I could see what the others liked about him, and part of me envied it a little, but it was a small part because I knew if I wanted to, I could just say something. I just didn’t have the energy or desire to take him from them.

As the tower returned to normal and we started relaxing again Thor started to prepare for his return to Asgard. He started to seek me out a little more. Apologizing for the lack of time we had together. He’d ask to kiss me and when I agreed his hands would travel, sometimes up under my shirt teasing my breasts. Kissing Thor was kind of amazing. I guess he’s had a lot of practice. He knows when to use tongue and how much. He uses just the right amount of pressure. A kiss from Thor is also accompanied by a static charge that makes your lips tingle. Kissing Thor leaves you wanting much much more.

But that was it. The kissing and slight feeling up. Nothing more than that.

Tony held a farewell party the night before Thor’s leaving. It was a public event and there were a lot of people there, so I was on Tony’s arm. I noticed there seemed to be a lot of whispering and looking at the Avengers, but I’d never been to a party with all of them before so I had no idea what was normal or not. People started leaving around eleven. At midnight we were just us. Just my family.

We ended up sitting on these couches in the penthouse, drinks nearby and just talking. Messing around with each other. Things got more touchy and snuggly between people.

Rhodey stood shaking his head. “Come on, Hill, Vis, let’s leave these deviates to say goodbye to Thor before we get dragged into something.”

Hill laughed. “See it kind of sounds like fun, but maybe another night.” She teased getting up.

Vision followed after them and we wished them all a good night before they disappeared into the elevator.

Thor smiled broadly at the group. “I have missed this.” He said loudly. “And now with a new member of the family.”

I was sitting on the same couch as Thor but Tony was sitting between us. Thor leaned over Tony and one of his large hands went to my jaw as he leaned in to kiss me. As we kissed his other hand ran up the inner seam of Tony’s pants. Tony made a strangled moan and cleared his throat. “How about we go down to the common floor?”

General sounds of agreement were made in the room and everyone got up. Thor, Tony and I were last. Thor didn’t break his kiss with me until I’d started to grow lightheaded from it and I sat blinking for a moment when he pulled away abruptly and got up.

“Come on,” Tony said, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet. We all crammed into the elevator. People were already kissing. Steve was kissing Sam’s throat. Bucky had lifted Wanda from the floor and her legs were wrapped around his waist as their tongues danced together. Natasha had backed Clint up so he was pressed against Bucky as they kissed and her hands ran up under his shirt. Bruce pulled Tony to him as he entered and Thor looked down at me with a smile. The doors closed as his hands slid around my back and to my thighs. He lifted me up and we started kissing each other with a desperate need.

When the elevator stopped he carried me through the living area to the bedroom and tossed me onto the bed. I squealed with delight as I bounced on the mattress. The others had all followed us in and everyone started undressing. For a second I forgot myself and just watched. As much as I have been with all these people, we had never done anything like this while I have been with them. I realized too, that this wasn’t just a big deal for me. Tony had never been included in this before either and Bruce had never been brave enough to join in. So much had changed since I joined their family. Not just for me, but for them too. This, what was happening right now, was important. It wasn’t just us doing something dirty or taboo. This was us showing we loved each other and connecting with each other. Saying goodbye to a man they loved and reconnecting with the rest because we’d been hurt.

Clint noticed me watching as he dropped his pants to the floor. He laughed and stretched like he was about to go for a run. “What are you doing, El?” He asked.

“Shit,” I cursed and started stripping my own clothes off, tossing them away from the bed. Natasha dropped to the bed and started crawling towards me. When I was down to my panties, she grabbed them and pulled them off. The others had all started getting into the bed.

“Relax, Mishka,” Natasha said as she kissed her way up my legs and I looked around me. Steve and Tony were sitting face-to-face exploring each other like they were discovering each other for the first time in years. Which might not be far from the truth. Clint had straddled Bruce and had his hands pinned over his head as he kissed his way down his chest. Thor had lifted Wanda on his shoulders and lapping at her cunt as she tugged at her hair. Yellow and red sparks were flying from the two of them. Bucky and Sam were pressed together, Sam stroking both their cocks in his hand. By the time Natasha’s tongue flicked over my clit I was soaking for her.

Natasha sucked and kissed my pussy as I writhed under her. I didn’t know where I wanted my hands to go. I tangled them in her hair. I gripped the bed covers. Her fingers worked expertly inside of me, bringing me to the edge. Just as I was about to come, Clint came up to me I reached over to him and drew him near to me, taking his cock into my mouth. “Mm… that’s it, princess.” He hummed.

The others had shifted around us. Steve, Sam, and Bucky were now together. Steve crouched between Sam’s legs, sucking his cock as Sam leaned back into Bucky kissing him graphically. Bruce was lying on his back with Tony between his legs. They were pressed tightly together as Tony fucked him. Thor was sitting lotus style with Wanda in his lap. I moaned loudly around Clint’s cock the sound joining the others that filled the room. I arched up, under Natasha and came.

Natasha hummed between my legs stroking me through it before coming up to kiss me. She moved over to Thor and I rolled on my hands and knees facing Clint as I resumed sucking his cock. I was aware of them moving around me again, but now I was focused mostly on Clint. I gently teased my fingers over his skin while I massaged his shaft with my tongue, bobbing my head up and down.

His hands grazed down my back and around to my breasts, flicking over my nipples. A second set of hands were on me, followed by lips as Tony kissed his way up my spine. “You ready for little Tony, darling?”

I laughed, releasing Clint’s cock. “Yes, you nerd,” I said.

“That’s not very nice.” Tony teased, running the head of his cock up and down my folds.

“Watch it, Tones. The lady had a job to do.” Clint joked. I hit him on the hip before taking his cock back into my mouth. He yelped before moaning. Tony pushed inside of me and I hummed around Clint’s cock.

As Tony started fucking into me Clint reached over and ran his hand down Tony’s chest. Tony hesitated for a moment before leaning in and kissing him. It started slow and soon became frantic and passionate. I moaned as I watched them. I moved faster on Clint and sucked harder, all-the-while feeling like my blood was boiling inside me.

Clint’s hands started opening and closing, one in my hair, one in Tony’s. He moaned loudly and his hips snapped forward and he came with a groan. I swallowed it down and flicked my tongue over his length until it stilled. I pushed myself up against Tony. His hands went to my throat, holding me in place as he kept fucking into me from behind. Clint kissed me. “Love you, princess.” He whispered before moving to Bucky. Bucky pulled him close and they started kissing and grinding against each other.

The group dynamics had changed again. Natasha was with Bruce, riding him as she pinned his hands over his head. Sam was taking Thor from behind, sweat dripped from both men’s brows. Steve was on his knees between Wanda’s legs as the red glow of her powers covered him and she arched under him.

I slipped off Tony’s cock and turned to face him, pushing him onto his back. “Oh it’s gonna be like that is it?” He smirked.

“You know it is,” I said, straddling his lap and guiding him back inside of me. I leaned down and started kissing at the pulse point just under his ear. “El. I need you to know. I - I love you.” He whispered.

I propped myself up on his chest and looked him in the eye. “I do know. And same.” I said. He pulled me into a hard kiss as I rocked against him. His fingers went to my clit and he started drawing tight circles on it.

An orgasm neared again and when I came I collapsed down on top of Tony. He continued to slowly thrust up into me until it had passed.

Sam called my name and I looked over at him. Tony slapped my ass. “Off you go, this is an orgy after all.” He teased.

Sam was leaning back as Wanda crouched between his legs. Her head bobbing up and down on his cock. “Come join us, princess.” He said, his voice low and husky. I crawled over kissing up Wanda’s spine.

Wanda and I kissed over Sam’s cock before Sam guided us both up to kiss him. First Wanda and then me. Sam grabbed my hips and flipped me onto my back, I wrapped my legs around his waist and drew him into me. He teased the head of his cock up and down once before sinking into me. I moaned and ran my hand up his arm before reaching out to Wanda. “Come here, beautiful,” I said.

Wanda smiled at me and leaned in and kissed me softly, her tongue brushing against my bottom lip. She twisted her hands, and two red glowing orbs danced over her fingers. She placed them on my skin sending it out over my skin, making my hair stand on end. I hummed clenching my core muscles around Sam’s cock. Wanda straddled my face and I put my hands on her hips and started to lick. Her fluids coated my tongue, salty and sweet. Mixed with the fluids of others she had been with and sweat. Her kinetic energy swirled over my already sensitive clit. We were both sensitive it seemed. Each nip or flick of my tongue made her moan.

She and Sam kissed over me. I was barely aware of it. My attention was taken by their hands, the taste of her pussy, the feeling of his cock filling me, drilling into me, and the constant buzz on my skin.

I came again, writhing under Sam and Wanda. I never stopped sucking and licking Wanda’s cunt. I could feel her walls starting to tighten, and her legs started to tremble. She came and I lapped up everything. Drinking down her fluids hungrily.

She climbed off me and for a moment we just lay side by side panting. We started to kiss as Sam moved his body tighter in against me, rolling his hips more with each thrust. The base of his cock dragging over my clit. Wanda squealed and was suddenly dragged away from me. I looked back to see her giggling as Clint and Natasha started kissing their way up her body.

I turned back to Sam and we started to kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rolled my hips with him. He rolled us over but we stayed pressed tightly together, kissing and moving together. More hands touched my back and a large body pressed against me. “Hey, sweetheart,” Steve whispered in my ear. “You think we can take both of us?”

I broke the kiss with Sam and nodded. “Uh-huh.”

Steve pressed his cock against my entrance and slowly eased into me. Sam moaned loudly. “Oh fuck, cap.” Sam moaned, his head falling back. The three of us started to move together. Our hands running over each other. Another climax approached but as it neared Bucky approached us. Sam reached out to him and drew him over. He kissed Steve, ghosting his lips down his neck before he moved to me.

“Hey, doll.” He purred.

“Hey, Buck,” I whisper, our lips meeting. We kissed and he pinched and teased my nipples with his metal fingers. I came again, the sound of my cries muffled by Bucky’s mouth.

Sam groaned and his abs tightened. “Fuck, I’m close.”

Steve slowed down his movements, making Sam whine needily. We drew Bucky closer and he straightened up. Sam and I started sucking his cock in tandem, kissing over his shaft and swirling our tongues around the head of his cock.

Steve picked up his pace again. A sheen of sweat clung to me. There were hands everywhere, stroking me, touching me. Another orgasm hit and I trembled with it, completely unable to hold myself up. Sam groaned and jerked up into me, his cock pulsing as he spilled in waves. Steve’s hips snapped forward and he came as Sam’s cock still pulsed inside me

The three of us collapsed down for a moment and Bucky looked down at me, running his hands up my legs. “How’re ya doin’ there, doll?” He asked.

I nodded and held my arms out to him. “Pretty good, Buck.”

He moved between my legs, and slowly eased inside of me. My cunt was swollen and sensitive and yet he felt so good and I needed him so badly. He moved slowly and I touched all of him that I could reach. He practically purred against me as we moved as one. We kissed and let our mouths trail over each other’s necks and jaws. Bruce approached and lay beside us. We each turned to him and we took turns kissing from one to the other. I could see the flecks of green in Bruce’s eyes letting me know the Big Guy was with us too, but he kept quiet and allowed Bruce to just be gentle with the two of us. Bucky and I continued to move as Bruce teased his hands over us. He slipped one between us and began rolling his thumb over my clit while he ran his fingers over Buck’s balls and the base of his cock.

When my orgasm hit this time, it was more of a slow-rolling wave through me that brought Bucky along with me.

Bucky kissed me softly before rolling off. I straddled Bruce and lowered myself down onto his cock. “Hey, B,” I said, swirling my hips in a figure of eight.

Bruce ran his hands up my stomach and started kneading my breasts. “Hey, L.” He replied, looking up at me. His pupils were blown and his eyes were tinged with green.

All around us people had started to slow down or stop. Thor had Steve on his knees in front of him, moving slowly but fucking him deeply as his hands roamed over Steve’s chest. Tony sat leaning against Natasha, his eyes flicking between Steve and Thor and Bruce and I. Natasha was slowly stroking his cock with her chin resting on his shoulder. Wanda was curled up between Clint and Sam like a cat, while the two men just sat back, each drinking from bottles of water.

I looked back down at Bruce continuing to just roll my hips and rock on his cock. I ran my hands down his chest and flicked my fingernails over his nipples. A low rumble escaped from his slightly parted lips and he propped himself up and started sucking and biting my breasts.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and we moved together. I was starting to feel high from the number of endorphins in my system. I carded my fingers through Bruce’s hair and just closed my eyes and felt him.

With a sudden growl, Bruce flipped us both. He held me down and just started fucking me hard. I looked into his eyes and more green had crept in, but it was him. I was still with Bruce. I dragged my nails down his back and gave myself to him, letting him take what he needed. I was so sensitive and so overstimulated, everything felt good. Heat pressed down in my core and I came again arching back violently. Bruce held me in place and sucked a nipple into his mouth, dragging my orgasm out.

Thor came up behind Bruce, his hand ran over his ass and licked a stripe up his spine. That’s all it took for Bruce to lose control completely. He bucked hard into me and came, his fluids adding to everyone else’s. I moaned loudly and held him close to me until his cock had stilled.

Bruce slipped from me and collapsed down beside me panting. I leaned in and kissed him before looking up at Thor. He was a god in every sense. His body was firm and heavily muscled. His cock, large and standing hard in front of him. He smiled down at me. Somehow that smile was both warm and hungry.

“Lady Elise, are you up for one last round, I’ve been saving myself for you.” He said.

I got up on my knees and moved closer to him. “One last one.” I agreed. He sat back with his legs crossed and I climbed into his lap wrapping my legs around his waist. As I lowered myself down, he guided his thick cock into my swollen cunt.

I became lost in him. We rocked together and I moved up and down, up and down on his dick. Lightening leaked from his eyes and danced over our skin. It made me prickle but it felt cool. My nipples hardened to the point they were painful, but I couldn’t stop.

I was alone with him, yet connected to everyone here. We were on earth, yet spread out through the universe. I was here and I was everywhere. “Do you feel that?” I asked him, my voice breathy and far off.

He chuckled. The sound was warm and inviting. “I do.” He said simply. “Give yourself to it.”

I closed my eyes and could feel all the others in the room on me. I came apart. My orgasm tore through me. I screamed out with it and every muscle in my body clenched. Thor kept moving with me. He held me tightly against his body as I sagged into him and with a few more thrusts he came, groaning and letting his head fall back.

I slithered off his lap and just collapsed where I lay. Steve moved over to me and gathered me up, tucking me properly into bed as Sam cleaned me up and Natasha offered me some water.

I snuggled in against Tony who pulled me in close to him letting me rest my head on his stomach. The others all gathered in close to us. Nobody really slept that night for a long time. We would doze in and out but mostly everyone just talked. We were all together and safe. It felt good.

Epilogue

Things returned to normal after that night. We had months of peace. There were scattered missions here and there, but they were routine and over with easily. Life in the Tower was weird, but I was happy. The others seemed happy too. Content with the way things were and how we all were together.

Rumors had started to spread though. The problem was that because Alexa had had access to so much she knew about us. Which meant HYDRA knew. Which now meant that with the leaking of documents other people were finding out. It had started off as something most people blew off, so they’d ignored it.

Slowly the rumors grew traction. Every time that any of them were photographed in public together the way they stood or looked at each other was scrutinized. ‘Cap was standing very close to Hawkeye and look at the body language, they’re totally fucking.’ ‘Why is Black Widow looking at The Winter Soldier like she wants to devour him if they’re not together?’

Most of that was just stupid speculation. They knew how to behave with each other in public, and usually, they were working anyway. So they were professional. I, however, was a weak, weak link. Aside from Bruce, they didn’t work with me and honestly, Bruce and I were not the most professional all the time when we were in the lab together anyway. When we were out together it was because we were out together and they’d forget themselves. It started with just being seen out with Wanda and Natasha. Natasha still did the ‘respectable distance thing’. People still questioned why Tony Stark’s latest bimbo was out with Black Widow. Wanda and I held hands though. That was it. We just held hands while we went shopping. It made the internet lose their minds. The rumors of the group all being poly had to be true because otherwise what would this nobody be doing walking around holding hands with the Scarlet Witch? Why would Hawkeye have slung his arm over her shoulder? Why would Falcon be nudging her like that?

Steve had decided regardless it was best to ignore it. Making a statement meant it was something worth making a statement about. Unfortunately, public pressure started to build up. The right didn’t like Steve wearing the flag if he was a deviant. Stocks in Stark Industries were fluctuating wildly.

Tony ended up calling a press conference. It was the first time I met his ex. She was nice. I wasn’t expecting that. I guess you always expect the ex to be some kind of evil harpy, don’t you? She was smart and pretty and she asked me if I loved him. I said I did. She asked me if he’d ever said the same to me. I said yes. She looked really sad and I said that he’d also said he’d loved her once too. She gave me a sad smile and told me she just wished she could have heard it. That in the end, it didn’t matter though, he was never meant for monogamy and she’d really known that all along.

We all sat on seats behind a podium. I felt out of place and my heart was hammering. Tony and I had done the odd public appearance here and there but it was always parties. Or things where I stood backstage and wasn’t actually in the limelight. I was sitting there in front of a room full of press. Tony was beside me on one side holding my hand, which felt wet and clammy and Natasha was on the other side of me looking like she could happily murder anyone in the room.

Pepper finished talking and said Tony’s name. He squeezed my hand and kissed me on top of the head before getting up and walking to the podium.

“There has been a lot of rumors and speculation going around about the nature of the relationship between myself and the other Avengers,” Tony said getting in front of the mic and reading from the statement that we had all had a hand in writing. “That it’s not enough that we have formed close friendships based on the nature of our work. Work that requires we trust each other completely. Work that puts our lives in danger almost every day. That makes us targets. All to protect the people of not just America, but Earth.”

He paused a moment and looked back at us before moving to the other side of the podium. “Words have been tossed around. Polyamory. Deviants. I get it. People spend a lot of time together. Why wouldn’t we all be… well, you know.” He said raising his eyebrows. Soft laughter ran through the room.

“My girlfriend has been dragged into it. Because god forbid a woman that not only lives in the same building and works in the labs there could possibly be friends with the other Avengers. She has to be some toy we all use right?” Tony ranted. He looked back at me and I gave him a tight smile. This just felt so wrong. I got it. I understood keeping the relationship secret. There was a lot at stake. But it hurt. It hurt to not be acknowledged. It hurt they had to hide their own feelings. Plus the lying just felt wrong.

“Well, the truth is…” He said still looking at me. “The truth is…”

Steve’s hand went to his face. “Oh shit.” He muttered.

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saleousucre · 5 years ago

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COVID is upon us and like many of you, I’m home for the next 3 weeks with Scott and the kids (3 kids are 5 years and under). I was thinking this morning about blogging about our experience. About a week ago, Scott had a fever and then a cough started. We didn’t think much about it as we hadn’t been away or in contact with a known COVID patient. I subsequently caught a cough and our son started having a fever and cough. Normal for this time of year however, in light of all the news, we started thinking it’s possible it’s COVID. Now, I’m not one to run to the doctor for just anything as I respect that our healthcare system is taxed at the best of times. I do find comfort in knowing that our healthcare system is there when we really need it and I truly hope that continues to be the case during this pandemic, though I believe that will take cooperation between our healthcare system and us, the public. So, I called our doctor’s office and asked what to do in our situation. Reception told me to go to the after hours clinic as my doctor is away. I took our son and off we went to the clinic, donning masks. We declared we had coughs, he had a fever and no travel or known contact with COVID. They looked at us like aliens from another planet and everyone seemed very concerned about our presence there which I found surprising as it’s all over the news but there are no clear instructions about what to do if you’re sick. After they asked the doctor how to handle us, they put us in a room alone and the doctor came in. The urgent care facility was eerily quiet to begin with. I guess most of us are not going to medical buildings for non urgent issues and they don’t welcome those of us concerned about COVID so that’s most people going to walk ins right now. The doctor said in the best case scenario, he’d test us, but there aren’t enough tests available at present so go home and self isolate until symptoms resolve. Not enough tests? As of today, almost EVERYTHING has closed including schools and here we are with fever and coughs (and I mean nasty coughs) and there’s no test? He said assessment clinics would open in several days so I guess we’ll wait it out. I cancelled my work appointments and hunkered down at home.

Without many medical options to fight this chest cold, I started thinking about all the home remedies we could use so I thought I’d share my list with you in case you find yourself in a similar predicament at some point because there’s a lot of news about how to avoid getting sick but not a lot of tips about what to do when you actually get sick.

Step 1 - Healthy Home

I have a sage diffuser in the main area of our home and also in our bedroom. I’m usually diffusing several oils like lavender, immune, goddess or liquid sunshine (sage brand). We try to keep our bedroom dust free and uncluttered ... think this step is really important. The environment of our home makes a real difference when we’re recovering from anything. I open windows (just a crack as it’s cold out) but allow the fresh air in and the sick energy to make its way outside. Burning beeswax candles enhances the aroma and sense of wellness in our home every day. Also, music! We play our favourite music in the kitchen (love Alexa or Google Home for ease of playing anything we feel like listening to).

Step 2 - Soup & Tea

Homemade soup and anything else you enjoy cooking. The aroma of sautéed onions, garlic, ginger and whatever vegetables we have in the fridge fills my soul with grounded wellbeing. When we aren’t sick, we always try to share some soup with friends or neighbours. There’s something very connected to Mother Earth for me about cooking and sharing soup. Also, muffins or any warm home cooking! Here’s a fun little tip... I left some of the onion on the counter as I remember reading that onion can absorb germs. It makes me feel good when I look at it and I imagine it sucking up the bacteria and viruses in our home - who knows but I’m sure it doesn’t hurt!

Step 3 - Be Prepared

Make sure you stock up on the following:

Tylenol for adults and kids if applicable

Laundry detergent (so much laundry when we’re sick)

Lysol wipes (so easy to wipe surfaces and door knobs for quick disinfecting)

Lots of hand soap - we are going through this way faster than toilet paper. Lol

Teas - my favourites are David’s Tea Cold 911, Mother’s Little Helper & Just Peachy

Not an overwhelming supply but enough food in the pantry like soups, pastas, sauces, etc... also some treats because we can still have fun in quarantine. We got fruit loops, ice cream and some chocolate eggs and it makes it feel like a little vacation some days.

Thermometer (we use a digital ear thermometer and it was one of the best purchases we made for our family for a fast and reliable temperature reading)

Crystals (more about this later but for now at least one for your bedside table that makes you smile)

Step 4 - Healthy Mind & Spirit

Sleep, sleep, sleep. As much as possible. Sleep is a hot commodity in our home especially when kids are sick but whenever possible, I try to give myself permission to sleep. This morning, one of my sons and I slept until 11am. Yay!

Smudge with Sage or Paolo Santo. I’ve read in several places that sage is a disinfectant but I can’t speak to the science of that. I can share from experience that it really does clear out the energy and provides a clean slate for our entire home. I meditate or simply imagine inviting wellness into our home after a smudge cleansing. This could go under step 1 for healthy home but it’s also great to do after the illness passes to clear the home of all that energy and start fresh.

Don’t forget the simple things in life like warmth. One of the first teachers I met at Waldorf taught me about keeping children warm in the spring when the ground is still cold. I try to encourage socks always even indoors this time of year, warm pants and use lots of wool or natural fibres in the clothes we make available to the kids. When our bodies are warm, our energy can more effectively be used to get well or stay well by boosting our immune system.

Media and device cleanses : It can be so addictive to check our phone or device constantly for social media and news updates but I try to turn off my phone and news for a while. I find spending present time with my family, reading a good book, working on something for my job vs watching all the news calms my nervious system and helps me feel more grounded during uncertain times.

There’s so much we can do for ourselves while we ride out COVID and other viruses. My hope is that you stay healthy but if you do catch something during this time, be prepared and ask for help. We are all in this together and here for each other.

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survivethriveandfeelalive · 5 years ago

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Rest

How long is your to-do list? Mine is never-ending. There’s the physical – grocery shop, pick up prescription, drive kids to gymnastics, buy and send a birthday card. All of these are self-inflicted, loving gestures that I willingly attend to for my family and friends. Then there’s my emotional to-do list – pray for patience, conference with another educator about a troubled student, build up my own kids with positive praise, try to plan the best lesson to engage my disengaged students, leave a note to show my husband and little girls how much I love them. All of these are self-inflicted, loving gestures that I willingly embrace for others and for myself. My mind is constantly racing with “What’s next?” This question looms in the corners of my brain and my heart. So, here’s my biggest challenge, the most difficult, but most desirable to-do list item – rest!

I’m like most, I can’t wait for the end of the workweek and the exhilarating elixir of Friday afternoon. The weighted fog of the daily grind lessens, if just for a few hours, and I can’t wait to breathe a little easier. Next step? Make plans. What’s for dinner? Are we hanging out with friends tonight? What laundry needs to get done? Who’s taking the girls to their friend’s birthday party? It’s never-ending. Don’t get me wrong, I love to crush a few adult beverages with my friends and watch the joy on my kids’ faces as they run around during a play date, but where is the rest? The silence? The ease of just living?

Last week, in typical fashion, I left work frazzled after dealing with a particularly rambunctious class and thought I’d run a few errands before picking up my kids from the bus and daycare. With my mind still reeling from my students, I made it in and out of two stores, only to pull out of my parking space and completely demolish the front bumper of the car parked next to me. I lost it! I bawled like a baby. I was overwhelmed and my brain wasn’t in a clear place, so what happened? An accident. A careless accident. I’m thankful the woman whose car I hit was very understanding, but I couldn’t help but feel awful as I began to write the next to-list in my head. Who do I need to call? How much will this cost? How will I get to work next week? If I can _________ then maybe the kids can still go to _____________? My scattered brain and heart were now tied up in even more chaos. Not only did I complicate this woman’s life, but also mine. I just made my to-do list even longer!

Rest. The answer is rest.

Silence. Space without distractions. Quiet time. Peace. Meditation. Prayer. Ease.

I don’t need to run three different errands in less than hour before picking up my kids. I don’t need to attend every friend gathering. Fear of missing out – FOMO – can just take a hike! I don’t need to get to “zero inbox” in my work email. I don’t need to try and save every student who walks into my classroom.

Because…if I just rest, the world of will continue to turn. If I just rest, others will step into my space and the to-do list will get done because our collective energy will converge into something powerful and strong. If I just rest, I will be able to clear my mind and approach life with ease and greater understanding.

Take time to rest in God, in the Universe…or just on your couch! Turn down the volume. Turn down “Alexa” and her “reminders” about your to-do list. Find space for your brain and your heart to rest. Make it a priority. I’m trying my best to do just that.

#rest #mindfulness #momlife #teacherlife #destress #to do list

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urbanskylinephase2 · 2 years ago

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3 BHK, 4 BHK.& 5 BHK Flat for sale in Ravet are available for booking

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Smart Luxury features inside the home include a solar water heating system, R.O. water purifier, Alexa-enabled spaces, and air purifier. Common areas of Urban Skyline 2 feature motion sensor lighting for lobbies and passages, Hi-speed wifi in common areas, designated security offices, anti-mosquito machines, and a disinfectant U.V. light system. There are car charging areas, car washing areas, air pump stations, and safety signs wherever required. Also, the project offers eco-friendly amenities to reduce carbon footprints. Rainwater harvesting, a dedicated sewage treatment plant, and an organic waste converter contribute to green living. You can check out 4 BHK flats for sale in Ravet

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amourfae · 2 years ago

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what did you dream about? 🤓🤓

…

idk how to explain it but i basically had a lucid dream abt me lucid dreaming and in the dream i dreamt more dreams … if that makes any sense 🤧 i just remember me feeling very in control / secure the whole time as if i was aware

1st dream: okay so like i don’t exactly remember much abt the start but i was in like this random school / house with other children , almost like a daycare facility & ig i was a spy or smtg of the sort bc i was pretending to be someone else (but it was me?) … i didn’t know any of the kids (they knew me though) who went there but i had to pretend that i did & and so basically all of a sudden the teacher (he’s like a chef of some sort) comes in and says he knew it wasn’t me 😧 and then i fall asleep … 2nd dream: but it transitions somehow to my family living in the same house / building and i’m meditating in the living room for some reason but i can’t focus because it’s so loud ,, 3rd dream: then all of a sudden it feels like i’m floating and i’m still in the house but now in the kitchen & ik that i’m dreaming 😕 so like the me that was meditating is lucid dreaming now and that dream has me in the kitchen … and since ik that i’m lucid dreaming i start doing random things that i wouldn’t have probably done irl … and then all of a sudden (still in the lucid dream) my dad says i need to head to school bc i signed up for a volunteering opportunity … so i go to school & it looks really huge , cartoonish and just seems very high tech … but i end up being early (like 3 hrs to spare) so i start touring the school and i’m just in awe bc it’s so school & im slowly becoming aware of the fact that there are other people in my school too … so while walking around the really big library , i end up getting lost and coming across a group of boys that all look freakishly similar (but not exactly) to this other guy i once liked … it’s very disturbing so i remember feeling confused ,, but then one of my irl friends gets my attention and decided that we should go around the school tgt … somewhere along the line , she just disappears and i’m stuck in the entrance to this like 5 story office section of the library with a weird rock wall … then i hear voices coming from behind me and it’s these girls named “shoi” and “alexa” (idk where my brain came up with these but for some reason , my brain gave subtitles whenever they spoke which is how i knew their names) so basically the girls recognized me and say we should walk tgt bc they know where to go … the three of us end up in some creepy hallway where the teachers’ offices are housed & another girl says “hi” to us and then disappears (well actually she ignored me but wtv) the three of us again somehow are stuck in the strange hallway and decide to know on the door for help … this weird geometric looking shape thing answers the door & turns out to be our teacher 💀 she then asks us for help and takes us to the teacher’s room where i see jungwon asking my dad questions abt the printer 😭😭 (idk how my dad appeared all of a sudden) and then i remember making this joke & won laughed which made me remember that this was a dream … then i woke up 🤧🤧

idk if this makes any sense but it was funny to remember 😭😭 there were a bunch of other random things that happened during this dream that i didn’t add just bc they were so random 😳 like i remember at one point , my voice sounded exactly like sunoo’s for no reason …

#need to go answer the rest of my asks later but i’m feeling really tired rn 😪#will answer them tmrw!!#fae’s mail! ♡

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vveakfish · 2 years ago

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OK so, Road trips are very special and important to me for many reasons. This last weekend i spent not a small amount of time alone with just me, my car & the highway. The whole time i just could not stop thinking about how Bruce and Clark would act on a road trip together…

I might do this with a batfam/superfam later but that is not what this post is about.

for the sake of our headcanon exploration, this road trip takes at least a whole day. like, wake up at the ass crack of dawn, dont arrive at your location until the witching hour type of road trip. our boys are driving nonstop — taking shifts of course, but they’re never not driving.

I feel like Clark would jump at the opportunity to take the first shift. he likes watching the world wake up — seeing the sky shift from blue gray into spectacular orange as the sun rises. He’d enjoy that there are not very many people on the road so he can just enjoy the sights. plus i think he likes watching Bruce sleep in the passenger seat.

I think Bruce would also be one to sprawl out in the back of the car to sleep, especially for that first shift he’s like “I’m going to bed” so he just takes up the backseat and sleeps so weirdly. like it doesnt look comfortable At All, but you know what? it’s restful, more restful than his normal nights sleep because he knows Clark is driving. Bruce doesn’t have to worry about anything. so despite it being the most uncomfortable position you could possibly imagine, he is relaxed enough to sleep soundly. it makes Clark all happy bc he knows hes the reason bruce feels like he can let his guard down like that at all.

Clark is very considerate of his passenger, he doesn’t play music until Bruce has fully woken up (since he would most likely be exhausted from what ever vigilante related shenanigans he and his kids had been up to the night before). But, once Bruce does wake up it’s either nonstop talking, or music. 80s music? Country music? Rock music? I don’t know I have to headcanon what his music taste is

the talking isnt about anything specific though, its a lot of just pointing out things on the road and being like “Bruce look! look, look, look!! isn’t that cool!?” and Bruce is just like “Hn.” (but on the inside we know brucie is actually so endeared because Clark is cute and like an excited puppy he’s literally just going squirrel, but it’s for billboards or logs on the side of the road.)

I would like to think that Clark looks at road trips as a bonding experience. Ma, Pa and him used to go on trips like this, mostly for farm reasons. they would get in the car and drive for a few hours to go pedal their wares. He enjoyed spending that time with them, so when he gets the chance to share a similar experience with other people he loves, he tries to make it as special for them as his parents always made it for him.

Now, Clark as a passenger is a different beast. When he was little and he’d take these trips he kind of pavlov’d himself into falling asleep in the car during them? like, the rumble of the tires over the road, the perpetual movement and the feeling of air blowing through the windows — its like tryptophan in his system; immediately makes him knock out.

so for a lot of the time that Bruce is driving Clark is just, gone to the world sleeping like a fucking baby in the passenger seat.

bruce is a quiet driver. like, it’s not that he doesn’t want to talk, it’s just that, I feel like for him, driving would be meditative. like yeah, when he’s driving around Gotham he’s like alexa play vroom vroom by charlie xcx, but that’s because he’s on a mission! he’s going somewhere! he’s got a reason to run the red light! but now I’m assuming this is like, a leisure road trip right? like they’ve gotten time off for some reason, and he doesn’t have to worry about anything, he can drive where he needs to without feeling like he needs to rush there. so yeah we don’t get breaking traffic laws!bruce. Clarks asleep almost the whole time, so bruce doesn’t need to talk if he doesn’t want to, but sometimes Clark will be awake and Bruce will be cordial. not chatty necessarily, but he will like, respond when necessary, hes not outwardly enthusiastic about it, but he just likes hearing clark talk.

but when Clark does go to sleep Bruce just like puts his headphones on. I’m thinking he’s old-school and still uses wired over the ear headphones, but he wears them like one ear covered and the other one not bc I think that’s funny.

i dont think he listens to music tho, like, driving is meditative sure, but he still needs something to keep brain occupied. but I feel like Bruce is a podcast guy? or like at least talk radio I don’t know what kind of things he would listen to when I was thinking about this saturday in my drunken haze my brain said the McElroy Brothers podcast and I don’t think it fits his character but I did think it was very funny

Bruces favorite time to drive is, no surprise, the night. he likes driving in the dark for a lot of the same reasons Clark likes driving in the morning. like he likes dusk, likes it when the sky is not completely black but it’s not like the blinding sunset either. He loves that weird purple and blue sky when the stars are just starting to peek out. I have in my head that Bruce loves looking at stars, simply just enamored by them. Hes like a little kid when he’s out in the countryside and gets to see them from earth.

he sees them all the time from the watchtower — but that’s different, hes already in space, its not the same as watching them slowly start to populate the night sky while you lay on your back in a feild. He can never get over just how many of them there are or how clear the moon is . So He always tries to drive that shift, he wants to be driving just after the sun sets and you know watch as dusk turns to night yada yada, but he also likes that there’s not many cars on the road so he doesn’t have to deal with people being stupid. he can just drive and do his thing since he’s essentially nocturnal anyway. I’m thinking like during the day he listens to his talk radio or whatever, but at night he just like turns it off and rolls down the windows and listens to Clark breathe, enjoys the nighttime air that is so much cleaner than gothams

been driving for the last few hours and all i could think abt was what if superbat road trip?

#𓆟 #fishfic #i wrote this while speeding down the highway using voice to speech #editing it was hard #i say like so much when im speaking #superbat #batman #bruce wayne #superman #clark kent #superbat fanfiction #ficlet #long post

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