#agh. complicated! it's complicated!
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I guess what bothers me about a lot of disability justice approaches to healthcare -- the "doctors must trust that patients are the experts of own bodies" approach -- is that this is the perspective of people with high health literacy written for audiences of people who also have high health literacy, most of whom I think truly do not grasp just how many people have extremely poor health literacy, especially those from groups who for reasons of race, class, ethnicity, immigration status, gender, and/or often a combination of these factors are less likely to have access to accurate health information and culturally competent, trustworthy healthcare providers. When it comes to health and wellness, quite a number of people in our society don't know jack about shit! Even more hold a number of factually inaccurate folk beliefs that range from unhelpful to dangerous. (Hell, even if you have a high degree of health literacy, you probably hold some unexamined false beliefs too, because that's how culture works!) It's true that people are the experts on symptoms as they feel them, but most people are not experts on what those symptoms mean in a medical sense or what can be done about them.
It's a massive blind spot and a symptom of the larger problem of Disability So Educated -- that the vast majority of disability/chronic illness advocates/activists are heard ARE experts on their bodies, because they've had to become experts, but they were able to do so because they are a) literate in English, b) medically literate, c) information literate, and d) have access to and understanding of how to navigate the internet, whereas your average person, particularly your average disabled person, is not. And if you want to create a radical healthcare system that is truly equitable and just -- as opposed to an oligarchy of the educated, i.e. what we have now -- that proposed system has to account for both EDS/MCAS/POTS patients who come in with a 4" three-ring binder of medical literature AND patients who firmly believe that ivermectin cures COVID, vaccines cause autism, co-sleeping with infants is safe, there's no difference between a rescue inhaler and preventative medication, and having an average blood sugar of 600 is perfectly healthy as long as you feel fine.
#health is complicated! the various factors and motivations that go into health behaviors are complicated!#but it often feels like disability justice folks get VERY wedded to the patient-is-always-right narrative#(and as a disabled person you encounter many doctors ranging from dismissive to malicious to incompetent to well-meaning but ignorant)#and ignore everyone and everything that might challenge or complicate that narrative which is... most disabled people#and most abled people!#we've gone from (doctors) the patient is NEVER an expert to (disability justice folks) the patient is ALWAYS the expert#from experience the truth is on average somewhere in the middle#but I get very defensive of all the acutely and chronically ill and disabled patients I work with who disability justice advocates...#...use as rhetorical props without seeming to have much interest in or understanding of their actual lives or personhood#(and don't even get me started on the rampant ageism in many disability advocacy circles predominated by younger people)#agh. complicated! it's complicated!#health care#disability#adventures in nursing#politics#chronic illness
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gaddison my beloved...
#botw#zora#gaddison#loz#totk#laflat#link#the last image is from a comic about bazz's shameful backstory#and she is just making sure her friend's secrets remain secret yknow#also for the record she is probably one of the smartest characters in my complicated zora canon#she -perceives- things#draws the correct conclusion (usually)#and then does not use this knowledge to solve the problem because punching it is just more fun and usually as effective#also i like this top drawing of her so much agh#and yes it totally is about her being Bazz's borderline henchwoman when it comes to exerting some necessary physical violence#wouldn't be a good look for him#and she already has the Reputation(tm) anyway
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Dallas 'What is love but something they teach you so you hold still for the gun shot" Winston
Johnny "What is love? Where is it? Can I hold it? Can you hold me?" Cade
Soda "am I giving enough that you can love me now? if I let you hold my heart is it enough? Will you give it back?" Curtis
Steve "a boy laughed at you so I sunk my teeth into him, so I broke my knuckles on his jaw, so I tore out his throat. does that prove it? that I love you?" Randle
Two-Bit "i'll be anything you like. I'll make you laugh. i'll keep your eyes squeezed shut at the joke, can you love me then?" Mathews
Darry "it's not like them, it's never like them. it's not enough. no one ever taught me how to say it. i'm scared to. can you love me? when I don't know how to say it?" Curtis
Ponyboy "i love so much it hurts. it's a pretty poem. it's a sunset. It's not real enough. everyone I love leaves me. everyone I love dies. can I put this love down here? can you promise to stay?" Curtis
#AGH!#thinking my thoughts#i think about these mostly in terms of familial love#but they can be interpreted a thousand ways#i love these boys#n their complicated relationships with love#EUGH#sigh#the outsiders#ponyboy curtis#sodapop curtis#darry curtis#dallas winston#johnny cade#two bit mathews#steve randle#the outsiders 1983#the outsiders musical
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I would like to be allowed to be horny in an asexual way please thank you
#im dying out there#like plz dont make fun of me for having a complicated relationship with my own desire 😭 ive never learned about this#i genuinely dont have the words for what im feeling#i hateeeeeee feeling so far behind compared to others 🫡 im sorry#AGH#anyways.
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here have some sketches i did of adam stanheight because personally i think he’s babygirl
(i might colour this properly at some point)
#AGH sorry if it looks off or inaccurate it was my first time drawing him lolz#i also hate side profiles#eeergh if yu think it looks weird just like ignore it and like it anyway#its complicated#saw 2004#adam faulkner stanheight#adam stanheight#teehee#digital art#saw posting#art#parker’s art
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RAPH & SLASH | 3.15 CLASH OF THE MUTANIMALS requested by @robins-treasure
#agh... all the time i think about the complicated feelings raph probably has about slash#because he loves slash. but he loved spike too.#and i can't help but wonder if raph ever wishes he was still spike. yknow.#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt 2012#2012 tmnt#tmnt 2k12#2k12 tmnt#tmnt raph#raph tmnt#slash tmnt#tmnt slash#may makes#2012
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why are all my friends so bad at texting back girl we r making time sensitive plans
#i can be very slow to respond to a lot of things#but not when im making plans!! and especially not when I'm making complicated and potentially expensive plans!!#agh. perils of knowing people who are TOO offline i guess#txt
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If you also like Pearlrose or Rose we can talk about the unhealthier aspects of Pearl and Rose's relationship and we can have an absolute blast analyzing them but if you come into my house being extremely bad faith about Rose or trying to tell me Rose is abusive I am going to ignore you. Get off my lawn boy.
#i genuinely do not trust non rose enjoyers with the complicated parts of pearlrose. im sorry.#like. i know its not that deep but AGH.#steven universe#pearlrose
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fanart is so hard to draw. stupid characters having stupid details that are out of my stupid comfort zone AAAAAGH
#ITS A STRUGGLE#at least pretty much everything is stuff i already wanted to learn but had just been putting off for whatever reason (procrastination) but#first cotl making me draw furries. and then animal crossing making them more complicated (tom nook's nose confused me)#then gravity falls making me draw old people. and now in dbh i am facing the struggle of Markus's subtle facial hair because i cant get away#with just doing a gradient that goes halfway up the face like i did with gravity falls. because it wouldn't look right trust me ive already#tried out of sheer desperation it was horrible#AGH#and then theres the whole thing of translating other styles into yours. especially when thise styles have vastly different levels of detail#compared to yours so you have to decide what kind of details to add and what kind of details to get rid of and AAAAGHHGHHH#also dbh characters having no bangs. most of them anyway#PLEASE bangs are the only thing that can hide how bad i am at hairlines!!!!!!!!#but at least that part is easy to learn. i can draw connor. hes the easiest dbh character to draw probably#hank seems like he'll have easier facial hair than Markus considering hes got an actual beard and also the fact that i will be a lot less#scared if making him look old because well. he is old#i mean hes only the same age as my dad but like..#he looks old. all his hair is gray. unlike my dad. only half my dads hair is gray#anyways point is im grateful for how much drawing characters that are Not Mine has improved my art but its so difficult#i need to draw my ocs...... and then I'll get back to Markus#i say that as if i haven't been drawimg my ocs all day anyways#rambling in the tags#artist
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Boy King Seb :D
#thank you to Grace for the idea of making his chivarly collar red bull instead <33333#he was gonna have both collars but then making that one made me suffer so no not today#this was a lot of fun but also made me suffer. but i keep looking at it and being like AAAHHHHH BABY!!! BABY BOY!!!!!!!#can you believe i tried to do this in one night? i cant#i stopped and came back to it and was like 'no way you could do this in one sitting at 1 am'#this is kinda the ascended form of that very first sketch i made for this au! concentrated boy king sebby!!!#i say to myself i need to take a break from drawing complicated things but youll prob see a nando version of this in less than a week ;;;#okay about the drawing(i wrote good tags and then tumblr deleted them so these are a bit inferior AGH):#this is typical pouty seb but is also referenced off a specific pic from AD 2009(beloved)#its very important to me how emotionally open Seb is. im not sure the specific context of this. maybe after a triumph?#but instead of being that typical stoic serious detached kind of ruler; i like him being openly emotional(think AD 2010)#its important as well for his dichotomy with nando and how they choose to portray themselves#seb is very assured in himself and his rule vs. nando who is more insecure and bitter about his#so nando takes strides to portray himself in that more stoic calculating way bcs he feels like it helps him legitimize himself better#whereas seb has absolutely no care for outward public image and shows how he feels and is loved for it(nando hates it but loves it)#not that nando cant be fun and whimsical!! but to me he always seems a bit more mysterious; like i can never tell his true thoughts tbh#anyways i feel like ill finish 10 more drawings before i end up posting the lore pt 2 LMAO#its just a lot harder to organize and layout compared to part 1 which was just an explanation#pt2 would be a mix of more world building/characterization/anecdotes ive talked about with mutuals(LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)#i have a *lot* of ideas (gotta whip out my notes app every once in a while to write down stuff abt it) just hard to put into a coherent pos#sebastian vettel#f1#formula 1#f1 art#formula 1 art#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#catie.art.#*ill prob make a process post later if anyone is curious!! its fun to write abt my process and influences and such#boy king au
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「30歳で片思いを拗らせると魔法使いになれるらしい」 1 — english translation
#cherry magic#my translation#should i make a tag for translations i wonder....#anyways um. i tried?? stuffs probably wrong???? listen i did my best pls#[wants to explode the japanese language w my brain but i get exploded instead]#the title agh. i wanted it to be like the official name but it doesnt work that much i think.. wizardsawa premise is too complicated#if anyone has corrections for me tho Please send them over ill be grateful#next part ?? soon?????? i dont know tbh akjdskf maybe if ppl want more i can try again
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translating for fanta is all fun and games until you get to sotas parts and it becomes full paragraphs instead of two word answers
#fantastics from exile tribe#nakajima sota#this chatty boy!!!!!!!#i was like agh finally im almost done im on the last member!!!!#and its like triple the amount of all the others lmao#and hes so smart and talks in complicated ways so i get confused lol#i havent translated in so long my brain forgot how orz#sotasota pls ilysm but i am so Stupid
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oh yeah, it's all coming together-
EDIT: Here's the finished version! :)
#wip#completed#apparently capcut only exports gifs as 240p so i had to convert this from mp4#this was the easy part cause i followed some references#the hair and clothes (so everything else) is what's gonna get me OTL#and i have to line this too agh-#line art my beloathed/beloved i dunno it's complicated#he looks like he's shrugging but he's not lol
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It's alright if you don't want to answer this- I know I'm late- but I don't mind the rambling. You aren't self-centered for wanting to unload all those weights that must be holding you down.
It's alright, Holly.
Thanks. I only just saw this today afg agg I'm currently having another crisis of wanting to bite myself so ooughhg the circle of life lol.
Uhm. I do really appreciate it!!! Im probably not going to be super stable in the next few days? Probably on and off emotions so apologies in advance :(
! I'm drawing some stanley parable anf then I'm gonna draw Question for a bit prolly! Then back to rainworld and Hollow knight :]
#holly answers#original character chaos#sorry i am! struggling with my paranoia. bad. like.. bad bad right now.#its.. complicated agh#i do want to say! dont worry about me actually hurtibg myself or anything! i promise i wont.#i have. learned restraint and other techniques for ! that !#also i am turning you ibto a slugcat. prepare
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i need to make another werewolf au just so i can draw more dogboy spiderduck without feeling like i’m encroaching on my au co-owner’s turf. unfortunately i did waste all my good ideas on the first one, so, rip
#like yes it’s my au and i can do what i want but also. it kind of isn’t anymore?#it’s complicated#so. i Can do what i want. and Will do what i want. but also i feel weirdly guilty doing it now so agh!!!
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[takes a hammer to my wips folder] WHY IS EVERYTHING HERE SO EMOTIONALLY DELICATE
#i KNOW WHY but AGH#sb and l rambles#sb and l is writing#fic: you've come to shake my hand#idk if that fic has a tag yet but sure yeah the title's been pretty firm for months now#why do i continue to write fics about complicated topics#i could be writing a modern au of star wars right now!!!!!!!!!!!!#but i have to do something silly like ENJOY WRITING EMOTIONALLY COMPLICATED CONVERSATIONS#EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD AND I ALSO HATE IT#[hades_hair_smooth.gif] i'm fine everything is fine i'm gonna go try to be delicate about astrid pickford again
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