#agh i have to go work again for a few more hours

[theninjamouse]

Gremlin shore is fun

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Watched all of Rubius’ r/place videos while pounding a bottle of wine I’ve been trying to get rid of for ages and MAN. MANNNN. I really love Rubius. r/place was such an incredible experience, and watching his videos reminded me of just how hype and fun the r/place phenomenon was

[asterias-record-shop]

╭════• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •═══╮

— come over

╰════• ೋ•✧๑♡๑✧•ೋ •═══╯

𓆩[main masterlist]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪

Ethan’s such a virgin, he gets a boner every time he sees you.

**made up colors for the school, also, this was supposed to be short but now it’s a whole thing-

You weren’t like those other cheerleaders, you were smart and everyone knew it. With every tube top and every mini skirt you wore, there was ten times the knowledge anyone else had on quite literally anything else in the world.

He liked to study on the bleachers when you practiced your routine, the pretty red and white fabric of your cheerleading uniform. You would pause the music, bending down and showing off those pretty red shorts that were under your skirt. “Girls!” You scolded, groaning. “We’re not even close to being done! Or ready! You don’t know how to pop your hip, you don’t know how to do the splits, you- agh!”

You yelled out in frustration as Tara slowly came down the sidewalk, laughing. “Calm down, Y/N, you’re going insane.”

You turned, gasping. “Tara! Honey, you’re here!”

“Not for practice,” she dismissed quickly making you whine. “I think your stalker is here.”

You turned, Ethan quickly looking down at his notebook and fixing it over his lap to hide his hard on. “Oh, no! Ethan’s going to help me study when I’m done with practice, he’s harmless, you know that.”

Tara sighed. “Are you sure? I just… I don’t want you to be alone with him, I can come with you? And Chad?”

You shook your head. “No, I want to be alone with him,” you say with a smile. “I want to see what I can get out of him. See if I can find out if he knows anything about that new psycho.”

Tara rose a brow. “How are you going to do that? Hm?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”

“He’s infatuated with you, you know,” she says, raising a brow. “I’m sure you can take that a little… farther, if you’d like.”

Your face scrunched as you looked back at Ethan, who again looked back down at his notebook. “I didn’t think I was his type. I don’t know if I’m someone he actually likes, y’know?”

Tara laughed. “Oh he likes you, alright,” she looks at Ethan who’s eyes flicked up before going back down. “Think he likes you more than you think.”

Two hours later, you still weren’t done with practice. It was getting dark, and the only reason why you ended practice was because you didn’t want any girl to go home with a psychopath on the loose. “If you girls don’t work on this, I swear I’ll put you all to work from dusk till… a few minutes before dawn! Go, get home safe! I want everyone in groups! And texts when you get home!”

The girls yelled out okays and good byes as you gather your stuff, Ethan quickly disappearing from the bleachers making you sigh. When you stand, you could feel someone way too close to you making you rush to turn around, gasping. “Oh! Ethan, you scared me!”

He jumped back, gasping. “Oh, I’m s-so sorry, I just-”

You giggled. “Oh, don’t worry,” you say with a smile. “Do you mind walking me home? I don’t know if we’ll be able to study tonight, but you can stop by early tomorrow and we can have breakfast and review! Sounds good?”

Ethan nods automatically, head bobbing up and down. Any moment spent with you was worth it. “Yeah, that sounds good, I-I just… nothing, is your apartment far?”

You giggled, shaking your head. “It’s just off campus. I promise, it’s not a long walk. And it’s not too far from your apartment, either, so you’re not walking alone.���

He tilts his head slightly, confused. “How do you know that?”

You giggle. “I see you walking home some days,” you explained, offering your hand. “Walk me home?”

He nods immediately, fixing his bag and slowly taking your hand. He fixes it to cover his lower waist, his hand slightly sweaty in yours as you squeezed slightly. “I-I uhm… I wanted to ask if you would like to… h-have breakfast with me in the morning?”

You look over, confused. “That’s what I invited you over for, Ethan.”

“What do you sleep in?” It came out quick, his hand covering his mouth. “I didn’t- that wasn’t what I was-”

“It depends on the night,” you hummed, your hand squeezing his as you look up at him. “If it’s super hot, I don’t sleep in anything. If it’s not, it’s shorts and a tank top, sometimes one is missing.”

Ethan hides his smile. As smart as you were academically, he loved how oblivious — maybe stupid — you were in things like this.

The rest of the time was silent, Ethan’s hand warm and not sweaty as he stood in front of your apartment. “I uhm… I hope you have a good night.”

You smile, nodding. “Thank you, honey, I appreciate it,” you giggle, fixing your skirt. “Well uhm… I’ll see you in the morning!”

Ethan nods, hand holding yours tightly. “W-Wait. We should… if you don’t mind, can I have y-your number?”

You nod. “Right! Here, call me when you get home, alright?”

He nods. “Yes, y-yeah I will.”

You smiled, giggling. “Goodnight, Ethan.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

He all but ran home, quickly saying hi to Chad before calling you. It took you a few rings to pick up, your groggy voice saying you had just woken up. “Hello?”

“Y/N? It’s Ethan.”

You smiled, turning as you pull the blanket closer to your bare body. “Hey E, did you get home okay? Can I call you that?”

He was already pushing down his pants and underwear, grunting as he laid down. “Y-Yeah, of course, you can call me whatever you want.”

You giggled as he starts pumping himself, fast and hard making his eyes roll back. “Whatever I want?”

He whimpers out a hum, nodding. “Y-Yes. Yes, whatever you want.”

You couldn’t hear him as you hummed, falling into sleep. He was pumping himself, no need for lube with how much precum was leaking out of his tip. “Y-Y/N,” he moaned out, your eyes slowly fluttering open.

“Hm? Sorry, I was falling asleep.”

“N-No, don’t… I-I want to hear your voice. Can you keep talking, please?” His voice was high pitched, whiny as you giggle, not noticing the difference in his voice.

“Oh… well, what do you want to hear?”

“A-Anything,” he whines, inhaling sharply. He swiped his thumb over his tip, head tilting back. “Anything.”

“Well… I think I’m going to change up some of the routine. The girls aren’t getting it and the game is soon,” you exhaled, humming. “But I was having a lot of fun with it.”

Just the thought of you dropping down to the ground, legs spread as you threw your head back, quickly being helped up by two other girls to take your position as captain and jump up, tits bouncing made him hold back a whimper, hand pumping fast. “I could see that, Y-Y/N. You w-were doing really good, looked like you were having fun.”

You giggle, smiling as you fixed yourself on the bed. “I was having a lot of fun, but the girls couldn’t keep up.”

“Th-They don’t deserve you,” he says, grunting. Your voice at night was so gritty, full of tiredness, the epitome of what he thought you’d sound like after he fucked you so hard and made the mascara run down your pretty face. “N-None of them do.”

They didn’t, you were his. He didn’t deserve you either, but he needed you like a person needed food and water, just the sound of your voice made him hold back cumming. He would call you every night from now on just to get off to your voice.

“Oh, Ethan,” you groaned, laughing. His eyes rolled back, his teeth digging into his bottom lip so hard to hold back moans. “You’re so sweet, honey.”

“D-Did you take off your makeup?” If he was fucking you right now, would your lipstick be smeared? Would your mascara be running down your cheeks, would your eyeshadow be all fucked up?

“Oh yeah,” you smiled. It was sweet that he cared. “I take it off every night, even if I’m tired. Don’t want to break out.”

He groaned, head thrown back. He loved seeing you with or without makeup, as long as you felt pretty, he didn’t care. He was going to make you sob either way from how much he’d fuck you. “A-And what are you wearing?”

“Hm? Oh, nothing,” you shrugged, sighing. “It’s really hot.”

Nothing. Oh the thought made him cum just by your words, choking making your brows ruffle in concern.

“Ethan? You okay?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m good,” he groaned. He was so good, cock twitching as he continued to pump himself. “J-Just don’t feel good.”

“Do you want to come over? Come over, I have medicine,” you start to stand, inhaling deeply. “Please? I want to make sure you’re okay.”

He groaned, nodding. Pass up an opportunity to go to your house? Hell no.

“Okay. I’m on my way.”

part 2

Regular taglist:

𓆩[@lem0ns77]𓆪   𓆩[@cecepop15]𓆪   𓆩[@memeorydotcom]𓆪   𓆩[@your-favorite-god]𓆪   𓆩[@xyzstar]𓆪   𓆩[@wenvierismycomfort]𓆪

i do not consent to the publication, translation, or distribution of my work at any point in time on any platform.

© asterias-record-shop

[forgetmaenott]

Experimentation - SHOWTIME

SUMMARY: Pomni isn't sure if Caine knows what he feels towards her, so she experiments a little bit. She's just curious. Nothing else. Nothing at all.

a/n: Title is also a double meaning for me, as this fic was written more so as practice for the sillies more than anything else. So apologies If it's a bit all over the place. I wasn't going to upload but Showtime fans are deprived of content so I will give you what you need 🙏

Pomni was far from oblivious to the things that Caine did to impress her.

Initially, it had been small attempts at making her happy--no doubt as a result of her first few adventures being particularly unpleasant. Caine didn't seem to understand most things about human responses, but it was of Pomni's understanding that it was in his programming to make everyone happy. And Pomni, from day one, had made it exceedingly clear just how unhappy she was. If anything, she was a challenge to Caine's coding, just begging to be fixed. Why wouldn't he put in a slight more effort for one of his superstars?

With time, though, his check-ins and side quests for her grew into...something else. Lingering touches on her hand or shoulder, seeking opportunities to show her, and only her, a preview of an upcoming adventure. Sometimes she caught his lingering gazes, his artificial eyes searching for validation of his work, and it made her wish to shrink away. He'd move his thumb lightly across her hand experimentally, sending a rush of nerves through Pomni's system. Or he'd fly around excitedly--often at the expense of Pomni's stomach--to show her something new he had coded into the circus. Or he'd show up in her room under the guise of a check-in, only to stay and talk with her for nearly an hour. He hung onto her every word, and Pomni had to admit to herself, she rather enjoyed his presence in those times. Getting to explain bits of her real life memories to his fascinated gaze; as she regained the pieces of what real life had been like, he was just beginning to understand it.

Just a day ago, she had found herself mindlessly recounting vague details of reality that she had once adored--the flickering of stars in a quiet night, the humming of crickets, the feeling of a slight breeze, the slight running of water nearby. She didn't know where that memory originated from, but she could still feel it. It was strange, not remembering facts but remembering feelings.

And now, she found herself recounting these thoughts as she waited for Caine on a "special adventure", staring at the way the digital stars twinkled in the night sky, and how her wisps of hair gently brushed across her face in the breeze.

His favoritism wasn't subtle, but Pomni had always tried to deny it to her friends. But now, standing here and seeing the ripples on the digital lake, she couldn't help but wonder. Was it really so bad? Wasn't it almost endearing that Caine had found himself so enamored with her? That he was falli--

"Good evening, my dear!"

Pomni stiffened at the sound of her ringmaster's enthusiastic voice, jumping out of her thoughts and flushing at the realization of what she had been considering. "AGH--Caine! How many times have I told you--"

"Ah, apologies, my dear. I just can't help but be over-the-moon about your private adventure!" Caine winked at his not-so-subtle play on words, zipping around excitedly above her.

Pomni rubbed her head. "Uh...okay...that's great," she said quietly.

"Isn't it?? I stayed up ALL night working on this just for you! Not that I need to sleep, of course," he chuckled before lowering to her level, carefully grabbing her hand in both of his, "But I did it! Just for you, dear."

"Just for me?" she repeated mindlessly. Her mind screamed the same words: AI, Program, NOT REAL, but she couldn't help but gaze again at the flickering stars and wonder--

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"O-oh." There it was. His favoritism showing itself once again, his devotion to her and her alone. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles, gazing down at her hand as though he wished to memorize each detail. This was crazy. She couldn't let him be so foolish as to be interested in her, she couldn't let this go any further. "Caine--"

"Ah, ah, ah! This adventure is about you. I have SO much to show you!" His gentleness faded instantaneously from the excitement, the pressure on her hands growing tighter as he pulled her in. Before she could even process the closeness or the fluster, he grabbed her waist and graciously flew her above the lake. He set her down on a digital cloud, which she was able to step on as though it were a solid surface. She avoided looking down, tensing as she looked around her. "As your ringmaster, it is my sole purpose to make YOU and all of your co-stars happy," he exclaimed, pointing an exaggerated finger at her, "and I couldn't help but notice how your mannerisms changed when you told me about your world. My dear...I cannot return you to your world. But perhaps, I can bring your world here."

Pomni's heart skipped a beat at the gesture, which she tried to ignore. This wasn't the same Caine from her bad dreams when she'd first arrived. This was...different. Entirely different. "For...all of us?" she asked slowly.

His demeanor broke for a moment. "Ah--yes, yes. Of course! My role is to assure everyone at the circus is happy," He paused in thought for a moment before he flew down by her side and cautiously approached her, "but admittedly, you've been quite the challenge for me since you've arrived here. You're a bit stubborn, you know."

"Is that a bad thing?" Pomni cracked a smile.

"Not exactly, dear. It's one of my favorite traits of yours. It's what keeps me coming back to you," Caine said with what she assumed was a smile.

Pomni felt a light blush dust her pale face. "I don't think you know what you're saying."

Caine titled his head curiously at her. "Why is that?"

Pomni blinked. He really didn't know what he was saying, did he? Did he even know what he was feeling? Could he even feel anything?

She glanced sidelong at the flickering stars, the lake below her, the way the clouds swirled up and floated around them--enough to give her the courage to test the waters. Before she could listen to the voices in her mind screaming at her, she grabbed his gloved hand in hers. "So...you like that I'm a challenge to your purpose? Or is it something else?" she asked experimentally, hoping the quiver in her voice wasn't too obvious.

Caine's eyes widened at the sudden contact, too afraid to move his hand an inch at the risk that she would let go. Not that Pomni could see his reaction, as she was too busy looking at her red and blue shoes to avoid meeting his gaze with her flushed one. "Something...else? What would that be?"

She lightly traced her index finger along the edge of his hand. Oh, God. She didn't even know what she was doing. How does she even answer a question like that to an AI? "Well...what do you, uh, feel?" She sealed the gap between their fingers, interlacing them together carefully.

If Caine could breathe, his breath would have easily caught in his non-existent throat. "I feel that I want you to be happy."

"Because of your programming? Or...something else?" Pomni said before she could cringe at her own words. She was just asking because she was curious, that was all. She just wanted to know if he knew what romantic feelings even were, nothing more. Or so she told herself.

"Well, I want you to be happy all the time. Because of me. That is my purpose, isn't it?"

Pomni smiled half-heartedly. Intentional or not, he was making this extra difficult for her. "Yeah..." she agreed quietly, a strange pit settling in her stomach. Maybe he was just coded to be this way. Maybe she was just being extra difficult. Before she could think of anything else to say, the sudden sensation of his smooth teeth against her hand sent shockwaves up from her hand and into her digital heart. She stilled at the sensation, gaining the courage to meet his gaze as he lifted his teeth from her hand, a cartoonish flush appearing on his lower jaw.

"But, I do find myself feeling more...drawn to your happiness, dear," he admitted, looking to the side sheepishly. He brushed his thumb against her knuckles where he had left a kiss, causing Pomni to shiver. "My dear? Did I do something wrong?"

Pomni squeezed her pinwheel eues shut, tensing her shoulders. "No, no--Caine you--" she stuttered, "I..." God, what happened to her composure? She had never been like this around him before. But suddenly every movement against his hand sent chills across her body, every thing he'd done to make her happy felt significant, and--oh, God. She couldn't possibly be--

"Darling," Caine said, so quietly Pomni almost couldn't believe it was him. His hand trailed up to the curve of her chin, gazing at her so softly she felt dizzy, "you don't need to worry around me. You've taught me so much about your world, about how the human mind works. So dear...don't be afraid to teach me more."

Pomni couldn't tear her eyes away from his gaze, tongue tied by his intense adoration in his eyes. "What is it you want to know?" she asked quietly, her lips seeming to move before her mind could catch up.

"Anything you have to show me."

There was certianly no way he understood what he was implying.

And there was even less of a chance she was actively considering all the things she could show him. She blushed at the thought.

"Caine?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I love this. All of this. Everything you've added to the grounds for me. It's sweet of you, and...it really feels a bit more like home. I-I just thought you'd want to know that it...you made me happy. Thank you."

Caine's eyes glistened cartoonishly, unable to tear his eyes from her. "Pomni," he sighed, saying her name for the first time all night somehow felt more intimate than any contact they'd had, "why is it that I feel this way?"

Pomni flushed. "What way?"

"I have made you happy, my very purpose as your ringmaster. But now, I don't want to stop making you happy. I..." he tightened his grip on her hand, "I've never been close like this to anyone before. Truly. Would it be so bold as to call you a friend?"

Pomni struggled to contain an incredulous laugh--he really didn't understand what he felt, did he? "I...think you're becoming a friend to me, as well," she admitted, staring down at their hands still clasped together. He had moved the hand on her face down to hold the top of her hand, gently rubbing circles against it. In the back of her mind, she still felt the imprint of his teeth against her hand, her heart speeding up at the thought. "Caine?"

"Mm?"

"Is it...well, um...would it be okay if...I taught you, one more thing?"

"Why Pomni, I'd love nothing more than that!"

Pomni smiled. "Okay, it's just..." she hesitated, allowing herself to get caught up in the way the stars twinkled around them before tracing her hands up to his chest, then his shoulder, then below his lower jaw. She could see him gazing at her curiously, stiffening at the way her hands slid up him. Before she could regret it or think twice, she moved closer and tilted his teeth to her right before planting a quick, firm kiss to the left side of his lower jaw.

Time stilled for Caine, pupils dilating and jaw frozen slack in place as she pulled away. The stars he had created just for her reflected in his eyes, her touch lingering everywhere they made contact. He didn't even realize he had placed his hand on his lower jaw until he saw her flushed face pulling away. His tongue tied, breath stolen from his metaphorical lungs, he could do nothing but stare at the woman before him that somehow seemed more beautiful than ever under his starlight.

Pomni's heart raced at the way he was looking at her. This was all too much. Why had she even done that? What was going on with her tonight? When he stared at her, frozen in time, her face burned more and she twiddled her thumbs. "U-uh, can you put me down, now?"

It took Caine a moment to register her words. "Y-yes. Of course, darling."

He didn't even have it in him to carry her down with him. No, she had left his code too starstruck with the gesture that mystified him. He simply snapped and the two of them were by the digital lake. She walked towards it and experimentally dipped her gloved finger into the waters, relishing in the sensations around her digits.

She looked back at him with a small smile, his code seeming to thrum excitedly at seeing her joy because of him.

Her taking the next step of intimacy left him confused, to say the least. There was far less about human emotion and mind that he understood, and if anything, the static-like feelings in his chest were nothing short of a mystery to him. Perhaps he'd have to check himself for a bug later.

No matter. He shook the thoughts from his head, the feeling still lingering as her floated by her side, unable to stop smiling at her quiet demeanor. She took in every detail he had added just for her, smiling to herself.

She'd have time to regret her forwardness later. Or scream into her pillow about developing a crush on an AI. For now, there was only this moment.

"Thank you, Caine."

"Anything for you, my dear."

And he meant it.

[linos-luna]

My Plaything ❣️

Sub!Changbin x Fem!Reader

* not proofread

Warnings: SMUT, Degradation, Pet Play?, masterbation, hand job, slapping.

__________________________________________

It was only a few hours ago when Changbin admitted that he had a degradation kink. You had a sneaking suspicion but it was surprising to actually hear him admit it. In fact, it was interesting in general. Changbin, the buff strong hardheaded man, wanting to be your toy. Wanting you to dominate him.

“I wanna be your toy. Your stupid puppy. I like it… when you call me names and… pull my hair…” he quietly admitted with a deep red blush. “Please can I be your plaything?”

So you obliged. And it came so natural. You couldn’t help finding him so adorable with his collar, on his knees in front of you as you held onto the leash.

“Dirty boy… you know not to taunt me when I’m working.” You said lowly while sitting on the bed. “Just so needy for me.”

“Y-yes, Mistress. I wanted you to pay attention to me.” He pouted before you pulled the leash, not too hard but just enough for him to feel it.

“So you admit that you’re a little attention whore?.”

“Mmhm yes.” He nodded desperately. “I need you. I want your touch!” He said while reaching up your leg, towards your inner thigh.

“Did I give you permission to touch?!” You snapped before gently pushing him back with your foot.

“No. Are you gonna do something? Are you gonna punish me?”

It took you by surprise just how defiant he was being. He really wanted you to punish the brat out of him.

“Perhaps I will…” you said with a pause. “Is that the kinda stuff you like?”

He didn’t respond, only grinning slightly while looking down.

“Hey! Hello?!” You snapped your fingers to get his attention. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

“Or what?” He taunted while looking directly at you while running his hand under your skirt, lightly tugging at the bottom of your panties.

“Hey!” You said, suddenly slapping him. He only looked down and smiled, glad that he was getting the attention that he wanted.

“Oh what? You like that shit?” You scoffed. “Are you serious?.”

“Am I?” He replied in a whisper with a small attitude.

You gently kicked him backwards, making him land on his ass. “Taunting me?”

“Hm….”

You got on your knees then sat a little below his lap, looking down at his hard on. “You want help here?” You gave a teasing pout while rubbing him over his pants. “You want me to play with your poor poor cock~?”

Changbin whimpered a bit while nodding, his cheeks flushed.

It was an adorable sight. You couldn’t help letting out a small giggle as while pulling his pants down then boxers. He twitched a bit as the cold air hit him.

“Poor thing.” You teased while gently taking hold of his throbbing cock. “Is this all you think about?”

“Y-yes mistress!” He groaned as you started moving your hand. “Mmhm!”

“Just me touching you~?” You teased at as you continued your rubbing, rubbing your thumb over his tip, loving how he made such adorable whimpers and moans. You moved your hand a little faster while making a humming noise. “Hm? What’s that?”

“A-agh—! Y/n!” He whined as you suddenly let go.”

“What?” You chuckled.

“W-why’d you stop?!” He whined.

“Oh…. Because I just wanna have fun with you, Binnie~” you said while leaning over him, having his sensitive length ever so slightly rub along your inner thigh. Truthfully, you were just as desperate as him. Your panties were soaked but you couldn’t let him know that.

Changbin groaned, reaching down take hold of his length, wanting more friction.

“Hey!” You snapped at him, slapping his hand away. Making him whine.

“You’re so impatient.” You shook your head and ran your fingers down his hips, getting close to his cock again. You then slowly pulled your underwear off before taking his cock and sitting behind it. It was driving him insane. His hard sensitive cock stayed between your legs, feeling the heat of your wetness. You moved ever so slightly, causing friction without giving him what he wanted.

“M-mistress—”

“Want something?”

“Y-yes! I-I—! Mmhm!” He stumbled, unable to form the sentence.

You couldn’t help giggling at his reaction before getting over then sinking onto his cock, making him gasp out loud.

It took a moment to adjust, he was just so big and even though you were super wet with arousal, it was still a tight fit.

Moaning softly to yourself, you closed your eyes and slowly moved. “F-fuck…”

He was about to grab your hips before you grabbed his wrists. “No Binnie.” You replied breathlessly.

Slapping noises filled the room as you rode him faster, bouncing and letting out small gasps. It was hard to stay composed as your eyes rolled back but every time you went down, his length went deep and hit that bundle of nerves. You were close and so was he. But of course, you weren’t just gonna let him have it.

You could feel him switching and just as he reached the edge, you paused before letting yourself off.

“Y/n!!” He cried out. “N-no why?! No!”

“Aw.” You chuckled. “Binnie… did you really think that you deserved to cum?”

“Y-yes—! No—! But-but—!” He stumbled as his high was leaving, making him frustrated.

“But-but what?” You mocked.

Changbin panted, looking defeated as you sat next to him, spreading your legs and starting feelings around your center.

“Y/n!” He whined while hungrily.

You didn’t say anything, only running your fingers along your sensitive bottom lips,practically he laid there, desperately wanting to touch you.

“Now Binnie… don’t be pouty.” You teased. “You’ll get your turn soon~”’



[pasta-in-the-pudding]

can I req yandere Ben x reader moodboard and headcanons? I feel like he watches you through your computer camera

-🦇 anon

Summary: Yandere Ben drowned x reader hcs

Genre: Angsty-ish?? nothing too bad though

Warnings: Yandere themes, so stalking, murder, obsession, etc.

A/n: 🦇 is no longer here, so if you wanna take this anon name feel free to do so! Also AGH I LOVE WRITING YANDERE STUFF

Credits: Ben drowned- Creepypasta, Divider- benkeibear, Drawing of Ben- shatteredankles (instagram), Other pictures- Pinterest

Yandere Ben drowned hcs

The thing with Ben is, he's so nonchalant with everything he does, it takes a lot to get him to show any emotion

So when he gets obsessed, he gets OBSESSED

He has a knack for finding people, switching between random people's webcams trying to find a specific person for a mission

But as he mindlessly clicks through different lists of different people, pulling up any names that intrigue him, he finds you

Immediately he is drawn to you, he doesn't know why, but he is

And when he sees your face, so focused on the task at hand, he knows he needs you

He doesn't know how he needs you, or how he even thinks he's going to go about acquiring you, but something about you entrances him

After his death he's so used to feeling numb and disconnected from the world, both physically and emotionally

But seeing you there, it makes him feel things again, as if he were alive again

And he doesn't want to stop this feeling

So he stares and watches you through your webcam for hours, his prior mission being totally forgotten

That is, until you suddenly yawn, stretch, and turn your computer off

He jumps a little at the sudden blank screen, and quickly rushes to see if you have your phone on

Frantically typing and clicking, he breathes a sigh of relief he didn't even know he was holding when he finally finds your phone and looks through it's camera

Even though its screen isn't on, the phone itself is, so he can still see you

That is, until you plug it in and set it on the nightstand beside you

Then all he sees is the ceiling

He sighs and rubs his eyes before putting your phone's window on another monitor and going back to the task at hand

Once done, he begins to research you a little more (making sure to have windows open for any cameras you may have in your house)

He learns your home address, where you go to work, your full legal name, social security number, interests, hobbies, etc

By the time you wake up and begin getting ready for the day, he feels like he has known you for years instead of just a few hours

When he sees your phone camera start to move he gets so excited, hurrying to bring the window over to his main monitor and watch you as you go about your morning routine

He watches you nonstop for weeks straight, only stopping when you go to sleep and he can no longer see you, but even then, he fills that time with researching you or scrolling your socials

It is only when Jeff is in his room a week later that he even thinks of the possibility of being something with you

Jeff is annoyed by the fact that all Ben's been doing for a solid month now is obsessing over you, so with a big groan he says "If you like them so much, go get em! What're they gonna do, say no? You're a ghost man!"

Only then does Ben realize that he is actually dead, and can basically have you all he wants

He doesn't have to watch you through cameras, because he can make himself invisible and spy on you that way instead

If you got scared, it's not like you could hurt him in any way, because you'd phase right through him

And best of all, if anyone tries to interfere with you and him, he could easily scare them off

So with this new knowledge, he sets off in search of you

Which of course, isn't far considering he already knows exactly where you live

And every day for months, he follows you around everywhere you go, never more than a foot away from you

Your friends have picked up on something strange, and are very uncomfortable being around you now

Whenever they're around you, they get a weird feeling in their gut telling them that something isn't right, oftentimes your hair randomly just starts floating as if someone is playing with it, and your apartment is always just so cold....

This being said, you are now very isolated and lonely

Ben sees his chance in this, and begins leaving you little gifts, things he knows you'd like

Once you get accustomed to the gifts, he begins leaving letters, slowly revealing who he is, and his love for you

At first you are just happy to have someone that likes you despite how uncomfortable everyone seems to be around you

Then it evolves into curiosity over the identity of this strange person

And then, you begin to feel the beginnings of a romantic interest starting to bloom for this stranger

It is only once you are obsessed with figuring out who he is, sometimes coming home and just begging into the air for them to reveal themselves, because you know they're with you somewhere, does he dare reveal himself

You are on your hands and knees, begging and pleading for him to just give you a hint as to who he is "I won't tell anyone" you promise

It is then that you feel the familiar cold chill go up your spine, and you know he is near

You don't speak or move, scared you'll upset him into silence in some way

You then hear a voice by your ear whisper "Cross your heart and hope to die?"

You gasp at the new information you have: a voice

"Yes" You whisper back

A hand begins to fade into view, and it comes to cover your mouth to stop you from screaming

You then feel a body form behind you, his other hand coming to rest on your hip, pulling you into his body

He's as cold as death and slightly translucent, and as you turn to look into a reflective surface, hoping to catch a glimpse of his face, you are stopped when you feel him begin to nibble on your ear

"You'll get to see me soon, princess/prince. All you have to do is keep true to that promise"

And with that he fades away, as if he was never there

[extrashotodepresso]

Bakugo X Reader

*Found Out*

This is an excerpt from a ridiculously long fic I made purely for my own entertainment. If you enjoy it let me know, if you don’t… *shrugs* reblogs are welcome , please do not share on other sites 💕

The title of the entire fic is actually “Quarantine with Benefits” but this is a stand alone snippet so I named it differently.

NSFW - DNI if under 18 - yes bish it has smuuut you’ve been warned.

Warnings: some violence, cringy as hell, unprotected sex (if I miss any let me know I guess)

Category: BakugoXFem!Reader , smut , angst , dumb feelings , KirishimaXFem!Reader mentioned but was never an actual thing , Kirishima is a pervert and a little crazy

When Kirishima got home that day and heard the primal moans coming from his roommates bedroom, he had smirked and even chuckled a little. His best friend Bakugo had been in a terrible mood for months, maybe he would lighten up a little after this. It was hardly an inconvenience to Kirishima in any case—Bakugo never brought girls back home and it was such a rare occurrence he was more curious than irritated at the explosive sounds of passion echoing through the apartment.

He had planned on just putting away the groceries he had brought home and then leaving for a few hours to go to the gym so Bakugo and his... visitor would have plenty of privacy. That plan quickly went to shit.

As he walked down the hall to sneak into his bedroom and grab his gym bag he halted when he heard what seemed like a very familiar female voice ringing out in pure euphoria. His earlier curiosity at who this visitor could possibly be began to overwhelm him. Was it a mutual friend? Or maybe some pro hero he knew?

“Right there- Katsu- mmhmmm!” He couldn’t deny the twitch he felt in his shorts at the luscious sounds - gods, he could hear everything so clearly - and despite himself, he turned from his own doorway to look toward Bakugo’s room.

The door was open ever so slightly, as if whoever had entered had attempted to close it but was too distracted. Kirishima was ashamed at the heat he could feel building in his core, almost disgusted by the increasing arousal he was feeling. He knew- knew - that he should just leave right then, but something in him couldn’t bear the thought.

“That’s right— agh, fuck — tell me what you want (Y/N)—“ Bakugo’s voice was strained, broken. Kirishima’s heart stopped.

Surely he heard wrong.

There was no way.

Bakugo knew how Kirishima felt about you. It would be completely against the bro code to go after you after Kirishima had pined over you for years. He wouldn’t just take you for himself, right? He wouldn’t betray him like this... would he?

His feet moved without him really registering what was happening. Years of hero work had provided him with stealthily quiet steps- even if you weren’t so...distracted you wouldn’t have noticed his presence. Kirishima peered through the crack in the door, at war with himself. His brain was screaming for him to look away, just leave... but his falling heart won and continued to urge him forward almost against his own will. He peered through the crack in the door, holding his breath as best as he could.

For a moment, he couldn’t see just who his friend was hooking up with; all he could see was the muscular expanse of Bakugo’s back, two long, shapely legs wrapped around his waist while he pounded into the woman’s soft, bruising flesh. He watched as Bakugo lowered his head, heard the demented gasps and pants and then the wet sounds of what seemed to be an incredibly passionate kiss.

Feminine arms wrapped up and around his neck, pulling him closer, dainty hands clawing down his back when he complied.

“(Y/N)—“ Bakugo moaned your name again, and Kirishima could practically hear his own heart shattering.

Having been best friends since high school, Kirishima had heard (and unfortunately walked in on) his friend in a few lewd situations before, but he knew immediately this was different. He noticed the way Bakugo caressed your thigh gently as he slowed his pace, melting into your chest and swallowing your moans with his mouth like they were honey.

This wasn’t just a hook up. Not to Bakugo.

Kirishima was becoming overwhelmed with emotion as he flipped around, unable to watch anymore. He slumped into the wall, though this was unbearable he had apparently become a glutton for punishment and couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Katsuki— please, faster... I’m— mmmph! I’m so c-close!”

“No. Not until you admit it.” Bakugo growled like some sort of feral beast, but Kiri could hear the undertone of need in his voice. He was begging you for something. What? What more could he possibly want from you?

“Katsu— you know I can’t- I - I can’t.”

“Then maybe I should just stop.”

“God, no! Don’t stop- please, please don’t stop!”

“Then say it.” Bakugo paused. “Say it, damn it!” His voice rang out almost violently- the pathetic whimper from you almost sprung Kirishima into action. If Bakugo was hurting you he swore he would—

“Y-you’re the only one for me Katsuki...” The words were yours. Quiet, but definitely yours.

“Louder.” The slapping sound of sweaty flesh increased in pace suddenly.

“You’re the only one!” You yelled out, voice raw with desire.

“Fuck— again.” Bakugo’s thrusts sounded even more desperate now, like he was trying with everything he had not to come undone.

“Fu- I —- hah—- I’m yours, Katsuki Bakugo— I’m all y-your-fuuuuck— God I fucking love you!”

The two of you moaned as you came together and Kirishima remained standing outside of the door , simply empty and stunned. He knew he needed to leave. His legs felt like lead, he felt the sting of tears threatening to leave his eyes.

He was completely destroyed.

A long silence lapsed as Kirishima tried to collect enough air in his lungs- had it always been this hard to breathe?

“Did you mean it?” He heard a muffled Bakugo, speaking to you. His tone was softer and sweeter than Kirishima had ever heard, fragile, like his entire world’s existence depended on your answer to his question.

There was a long pause from you, then what sounded like a kiss.

“Katsu... I... it’s complicated. You know we can’t-“

“I didn’t ask if we can, idiot. I asked if you love me.” Another pause, another sweet kiss.

“Yes.” You replied this time without restraint. “Yes, I love you.”

That was it. The last straw. Kirishima’s body moved before he could even think, heading to the front door and slamming it as hard as he could behind him.

***

“What the fuck was that?” You asked, shooting up from your place underneath Bakugo. He reflexively rolled off of you, also alarmed by the sudden slamming sound.

“It’s probably Kirishima.” His face blanched, his voice thick with what sounded like dread.

“Fuck do you think he-“ You began but couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence.

“I don’t know. Hold on.” Bakugo stood and shuffled on his discarded sweatpants before leaving the room. He was trying to look casual, you could tell, but the tension in his shoulders spoke volumes. You sat there for a moment, covering yourself in his sheets protectively, waiting for him obediently. Finally he returned.

“He’s gone now. But he was definitely here.”

“Do you think-“

“He heard us? Fuck yeah I do. You weren’t exactly quiet, princess.” Bakugo spoke with a mild smirk, but his tone made his concern evident.

“Shit.” You collapsed onto the bed for a moment, silence filling the room at your declaration.

How had you gone from insanely happy to pure panic in a manner of moments? The maelstrom of emotion began to overtake you. You needed to leave.

Rolling out of the bed clumsily you searched for your jeans- pulling them on quickly before beginning your search for your other clothes.

“What are you doing?” Bakugo asked, gruffly. You didn’t answer, your heart racing as guilt began to flood through you. Finding your shirt you yanked it on. “Yo. Brat. I asked you a question.”

You still didn’t want to answer, at any possible moment the dam could burst and you didn’t want to cry in front of Bakugo. Not now, not ever. As you began storming towards the door he grabbed your arm.

“(Y/N). Talk to me.” His voice was strained.

“I can’t right now Bakugo.” You shoved his arm off. “This is all... it’s just too much. I can’t do this.” Without looking at him you stormed out as quickly as you could.

For months now you had denied your feelings for Bakugo because you knew it was wrong on so many levels. He was best friends with Kirishima. Your Kirishima. You cursed yourself for being such a fickle woman. Not long ago you thought you wanted Kiri. Then you go and fuck his best friend. Worse than that; you had fallen in love with Bakugo even though your feelings for Kirishima remained unresolved.

You felt weak. Cruel. Dirty.

You hated yourself.

***

What the hell?

Bakugo was dumbstruck. Finally, you had admitted what he had known for a while— you had finally told him you loved him too. He was the happiest man in the world for exactly ten seconds.

And then fucking Kirishima happened.

Did you still have feelings for that asshole? Was that the problem? And what about Kirishima? How much did he know now?

Bakugo tried to take his mind off of it, going through a few beers while he zoned out to whatever was on the TV. He couldn’t pay attention, his mind was racing. Should he have chased after you? No, whatever you were going through right now would probably be better figured out without him. But what if he lost you and his best friend in the same day? He didn’t think he would ever be able to recover.

He cursed himself for being so goddamn weak. He knew the first time he had ever touched you it wouldn’t end well. Fuck, he knew the first day he saw you that you would destroy him.

Before you, he would have resolved this emptiness he was feeling by punching something, by going out and beating some poor asshole half to death. Old Bakugo would be flipping his shit now, but he reminded himself old Bakugo wouldn’t deserve you.

He needed to keep it the fuck together. Or he would definitely lose you.

He frowned into his beer, pretending to watch whatever was on. By the time Kirishima got back, he wouldn’t have been able to tell anything was wrong. Bakugo was completely casual, strung over the couch lazily and barely looking up when the front door opened.

“Hey bro!” Kirishima sounded as chipper as ever.

“Sup.” Bakugo returned the greeting. “You’re home late.”

“Gym.”

“Ah.”

“So—“ Bakugo looked over his shoulder, watching Kiri reach into the fridge and grab his own beer before walking back to the couch. “Had some company today, huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows dramatically. Bakugo raised a brow.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh come on— I came home for a bit earlier.” Kirishima smirked into his beer, but there was a glint in his eye that was making Bakugo uneasy.

“So?”

“Sheesh. I thought you might be in a better mood after what I heard.” He laughed, almost menacingly. “Guess she wasn’t that good, huh?” Bakugo clenched his jaw, feeling the anger bubbling inside but he tried to ignore it. He thought he could sense something in his friends tone, but if he was wrong... well he owed it to you to try not to start a fight over nothing.

“Oof, that bad, huh?” Kirishima snickered again.

“Shut the fuck up.” Bakugo stood up and walked away, chugging the remainder of his beer before aggressively throwing the emptied bottle into the recycling bin. He was just going to head back to his room but Kirishima had already blocked his path by the time he turned around.

“Oh, did I strike a nerve? So what, is she like, your girlfriend or something?”

“None of your fucking business.” Bakugo scoffed, trying again to walk around Kirishima. The stubborn redhead wouldn’t quit, moving to block him off again.

“Now that definitely hit a nerve. Come on, Bakubro, let’s have a chat.” Okay. Bakugo definitely wasn’t imagining it. Kirishima was acting strange. “Answer the question. She your girlfriend?” Bakugo simply scowled, searching his friend’s eyes for clues on what the fuck he was thinking. “I’m guessing not based off of that reaction... so what, huh? She’s just some easy fuck?”

That was it. Bakugo lunged towards Kirishima, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him into a wall.

“Don’t ever fucking talk about her like that or I will fucking end you.” He growled through his teeth, his free palm already crackling in suspense.

“I know.” Kirishima spat. “I know it was (Y/N). You fucking asshole!” Kirishima had used his quirk to harden his arm, landing an immediate uppercut to Bakugo which he hadn’t anticipated. Bakugo stumbled back, adjusting quickly into his fighting stance.

“Don’t make me kick your ass, shitty hair.”

“I can’t fucking believe you!” Kirishima ignored him, swinging again and trying to land another hit onto Bakugo’s face. Bakugo quickly dodged and Kirishima’s fist collided into the kitchen island instead, blowing a chunk of marble off, broken pieces littering the floor. “You fucking know how I feel about her! You asshole!” He tried to swing again with his opposite arm but Bakugo dodged again.

Kirishima was in a blind rage, desperate to land just one more blow. Despite beginning this fight, Bakugo focused on defense, reminding himself that you wouldn’t be happy to know he fucked up your precious ‘Kiri’.

“How could you do this to me, man?” Kirishima was panting heavily, hunched over, fists clenched like he still wanted to fight but his anger had turned into something softer. Something sadder.

“I-“ Bakugo struggled to speak. He had deliberately stepped aside the very first night he saw you and Kirishima meet. It was to this day his biggest regret. He wanted to explain everything— he wanted to convince Kirishima that he had made the only reasonable choice, that the first day he had seen you, a piece of him had been stitched into that moment— he had never been quite as whole as when he was with you. He wanted to explain that you were everything he didn’t know he needed but now he couldn’t live without, no matter the cost. Kirishima would understand if he could just feel what Bakugo felt. This wasn’t some crush, you were his weakness. His soul.

Of course, despite the recent influence you’d had on him, at the end of the day he was still Bakugo so he couldn’t actually bring himself to say any of that.

“Just… shut the fuck up, man.” Was all he could manage to say.

Even still, there must have been something in his voice or face that caused Kirishima to freeze. They stood for a moment, simply staring at each other. Neither could bring themselves to speak for a while.

“Fuck, dude. You have to be kidding me.” Kirishima uttered and stepped back for a minute, betrayal and shock written on his face. “Does she know?”

Bakugo’s heart sunk.

“You know what? I don’t have to fucking explain myself to you.” Bakugo’s sadness had turned back into his cool cover of resentment. “Fuck you. I’m leaving.” He stormed out, leaving Kirishima standing amongst a pile of rubble.

What a mess you all had created.

***

Your apartment buzzer went off, you moved to the door and checked the camera to see Bakugo standing there, hands shoved into his pockets.

“Go away Bakugo. I don’t want to see you.”

“Let me the fuck up, (Y/N). He knows.”

Your heart sank and with moderate hesitation you buzzed him up. You paced in front of your door, ripping it open as soon as you heard his footsteps in the hallway.

His eyes widened in surprise. He had lifted his hand to knock, apparently not expecting you to be so eager to talk. You grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him into your apartment before checking the hall in front of your door in a very paranoid fashion.

“Jesus, 007, calm the fuck down.” Bakugo snickered, despite himself.

“Shut up. Sit down. Tell me everything.”

“You’re pretty sexy when you’re being bossy, have I ever told you that?” He was leaning on the back of your couch, arms crossed as he admired you with an amused expression. You simply glared.

He exhaled sharply, walking around the couch before sinking into it.

“He was there. He knew it was you. He confronted me about it. Was pissed.”

“Oh god I hoped this wouldn’t happen.” You groaned.

“Embarrassed that someone knows you’re fucking me?”

“Yes, Bakugo. Because everything is always about you.” You rolled your eyes as you paced back and forth, chewing on your fingernail.

“What does it even fucking matter anyway, huh?” He said after a few moments of your anxious silence. At this you brought your head up to face him. “If he came here, right now. Said he wanted to be with you, what would you do? Huh? What the fuck would you do? Hours ago you’re creaming all over my cock saying you love me. You came to me, (Y/N). Not him. Me. You begged me to let you in, to make it all better. And I did. Because when it comes to you I do really stupid shit because I -“ It all came out in a tumble of words, the closest thing to confessing his tormented feelings he had ever gotten and would likely ever get but he couldn’t quite continue the last sentence. Your eyes widened, your throat dry and head spinning at the barrage of questions and lewd language.

“You still waiting for him to come around?” He kept going when you made no move to say anything and he could collect himself. “If he showed up right here, right fucking now, would I not be good enough? Is that fucking it?”

“Katsuki- no- I-“

“Well then I need to fucking know what the fuck I mean to you. It’s time, (Y/N).” He stood up, now. “I-“ another deep breath as he walked over to you. “Despite the fact that you’re a complete fucking idiot I love you more than I ever thought I could love another person. I want you. In every way. If that’s not for you, or you want him, this ends here. Now. I’m not-“ he swallowed, now unable to look at you at all. “I’m not coming after you anymore. You decide. I’m done.”

He walked to the door, closing it softly behind him while you were left to stand staring at the empty space he had occupied, tears beginning to spill down your cheeks in the silence.

[lovelynim]

2 centimeters

Squealing Santa 2023 Genshin Impact - Kaeya & Diluc

A/N: Merry Christmas, Mango-anon! That's right, I'm your @squealing-santa this year!

Heheh, isn't it funny that we changed the roles? After getting a gift from you in last year's SS, I tried to come up with something just as special - hopefully I made it up to your expectations!

Also, I couldn't find any canon info about the characters' height, so let's just go along with this one, yeah?

I just want to wish you a happy holiday season and thank @hypahticklish for hosting the event again!

Summary: When you are decorating the place, 2 cm can make a lot of difference.

Word count: 1338 words

“I think I remember this one, brother,” Kaeya chirped happily as he gently pulled another decoration from inside that old chest. Pinching the string that was attached to the toy to hold it up to his line of sight, Kaeya admired the golden, star-shaped object as it brought him some old memories from his childhood. “Hah, last time I saw this one, we still-”

“Care to do something other than reminiscing?” Diluc interrupted, with a frown on his face. Letting out an audible grunt, the redheaded dropped another box on top of the counter - also full of decorations.

By the end of the year, the people of Mondstadt had the tradition of decorating their houses to celebrate the arrival of winter and to cherish the moments they had together throughout that year. At least, most of the people did it.

Diluc wasn’t sure when it was the last time he had bothered to do something like this. He was even more clueless about why he decided to do it this time. Maybe his change of heart had something to do with the traveler or the latest events? Maybe after spending so much time with that spoiled bard was, at last, affecting him? Maybe was he sick? Diluc didn’t know - and did it really matter at this point? He looked to the side, spotting Kaeya’s smug, amused glance at him. Diluc rolled his eyes.

“My, of course, brother. I just couldn’t help myself… All the sweet memories coming back to my mind,” Kaeya mused poetically - mostly to annoy his brother even further. “I’m sure the winery will look just as lovely when we are done decorating it.”

Kaeya quickly got back to his feet, starting to hang a few garlands near the entrance, adding the ones that resembled small berries and snow flakes to enhance the composition even further. The captain smiled, proud of his work. “What do you think, Diluc?” Kaeya sighed proudly, placing his hands over his hips as he admired the results of his efforts.

However, as more seconds passed by and there was no sign of answers from his dear brother, Kaeya repeated himself, this time also looking back. “Diluc? What do you… think…”

“Just- agh, just a second,” Diluc grunted, gritting his teeth and stretching his arm as high as he could. Standing on the tip of his toes and leaning against the shelves, Diluc tried to place a bright, golden star on top of a tree - a spot that was clearly out of his reach.

Kaeya scoffed quietly, surprised that his brother would find such difficulties in such a simple task. “Do you need a hand? I could lift you if you want-”

“Shut it,” Diluc groaned, planting his heels back into the ground - and if looks could kill, Kaeya would’ve been sent to Celestia right at that moment. Diluc, already having his patience running short, looked at Kaeya’s work.

His eyes, despite all the charming decorations, focused on a garland that hung right in the middle of the composition. Diluc did the math inside his head and that thing was standing almost as high as the tip of the tree and, with no stairs or chairs around, it seemed that Kaeya managed to reach that spot effortlessly. Diluc felt that sight leaving a scratch on his ego. “Yeah, it’s decent I think,” Diluc huffed.

“Decent? Well, it’s still a compliment from you, I suppose, so I’ll assume I did a good job,” Kaeya crossed his arms, with a smug look on his face. The captain looked around and, after a few hours of work, they were almost done with the winery’s decoration: all that was left was the golden star in Diluc’s hand. “Let me finish that for you, brother.”

“What?” Diluc arched his eyebrow, turning his attention back to Kaeya.

“I said: let me finish that for you,” Kaeya repeated while approaching Diluc, reaching out his hand, waiting for the star to be handed to him.

“There is no need, I can do it myself,” Diluc narrowed his eyes and Kaeya chuckled. “What’s so funny?” The winery’s master muttered, getting back on the tip of his toes as he tried to reach the top of the tree.

“How tall are you?”

“W-what?” Diluc gasped, feeling a faint heat taking place in his hands. “What’s with this all of the sudden?” The reddish tones began to take a brighter shade around the tip of Diluc’s ears, almost matching his hairtone.

“Just curiosity,” Kaeya giggled, standing by Diluc’s side. Kaeya placed a hand over the top of his own head and moved it, hovering it just a couple of centimeters above Diluc’s. “Oh, I’m taller, indeed. I never noticed you were the smaller one…”

“S-so?” Diluc sighed annoyed, getting even angrier when he saw the way Kaeya looked at him. “It’s just… what? 2 centimeters? It’s not that much of a difference, it might even be thanks to the heels of your boots.”

“Well, brother, you see, 2 centimeters can make a lot of difference,” Kaeya teased, looking up to the tip of the tree. “Come on, let me help you ~”

“I don’t need your help,” Diluc insisted, determined to shut his brother by placing that damned star on top of the tree.

“Suit yourself.”

Kaeya watched carefully as Diluc tried to reach that spot again, holding the golden star with the tip of his fingers, barely keeping a hold on it. Almost there… so close… 

“G-gah!” Diluc squeaked when he felt a pair of hands holding him by his waist. He felt another electric shock spread across his body when fingers dug into the spot - with just enough pressure so they could get a grip on his body.

“Q-quit squirming, you’re kind of heavy, you know?” Kaeya grunted, nearly getting hit by a flailing limb. With some effort, Kaeya managed to lift Diluc, getting him high enough so he could reach the top of the tree. “Hurry up..!”

“I- agh, aham tr-tryihihing!” Diluc choked on a laugh, struggling to reach out and place the star when all the nerves on his body were telling him to press his arms down his body. His brother being Kaeya, Diluc couldn’t be sure if that… feeling was a mere accident or something planned. “S-stohop squeehezing me lihihike t-that, you- ahah- ack!!”

“H-hoh?” Kaeya gasped, still managing to pull a tease in a situation like this. Diluc’s squirming was making it harder to keep him high up, but Kaeya would rather have them both falling to the ground than lose a chance to provoke Diluc like this. “H-how can you be… heh, this ticklish being this… short?”

“I’m nohot!” Diluc groaned, hitting Kaeya’s leg with his heel (mostly because of how his leg flailed than because he wanted to). 

“You’re not what? Short or ticklish? Because it looks like you’re both” Kaeya squeezed Diluc’s waist again and a strangled laugh escaped his brother’s lips. Kaeya smirked. “J-just put the star over there, my arms are getting tired.”

“If you- ahah, f-fine!” Diluc groaned in defeat, grabbing the tree with one hand and pulling it closer. Finding it more difficult than it should be, at last, Diluc managed to place the golden star in place, quickly tapping his brother’s hand. “D-done! Put me down! Puhuhut me down!”

“As you wish, brother,” Kaeya said, lowering his brother back down until he could place his feet on the ground - safe and sound. “See? It wasn’t that hard, was it?”

Diluc breathed deeply, telling himself mentally this wasn’t the time to call Kaeya names and deciding that, just this once, he would let it slide… that, of course, under one condition. “One word about it…,” he threatened Kaeya - so brotherly-like of him.

“Huh? Or what?” Kaeya provoked him again, poking Diluc’s side and making him jerk away with a sharp gasp. “Come on, asking your big brother for help it’s nothing to be ashamed of…”

“Kaeya, no.” Diluc warned, wrapping his arms around his torso, “I’m serious. Kaeya, nohOHOH!! KahAHAHayea!”

[milky-aeons]

[4] — PLAYING WITH STARFIRE

warnings: depression, suicidal ideation, poor eating habits, sexual content allusions, violence, suggestive themes, fem!reader, class differences, social hierarchy, misogyny, w.c 7.5k

౨ৎ . . . chapter FOUR of CROWNS OF STARDUST

"The future will be gorgeous and reckless, and words, those luminous charms, will set us free again."

— Carole Maso

Even though the Prince was left in the most dramatic of fashions, he wasn't alone for long. Inside the the archway appeared the owner of the room he was using — an owner that looked less than impressed; his golden brow raised and teeth poking in a snarl.

"How many times have I told you, Dazai, not to use my Study for your unsavoury pastimes?"

Brown eyes twinkled when Dazai smiled at the Secretary to his Father's Throne. His smile quickly turned into an exaggerated drawl. "Hah, why is it that you sound more and more like my Father each day, Kunikida-kun~?"

A grumble was all the Prince was offered. Kunikida Doppo, even though he was speaking harshly to the Future King of the Throne he oversaw, didn't hesitate to scold him regardless. They shared too much history together. First-name basis instead of titles was normal between them at this point.

Kunikida, with a tempered glare, walked into his Study and over to the desk. "I happened to pass a particular Lady-in-Waiting on my way here," He ventured. 

"Oh?"

"She had tears streaked down her face."

"Heh, is that so?"

Kunikida wasn't at all surprised. If anything, the secretary was more surprised that Dazai had allowed the "relationship" with Rosette Smith to go on as long as it did. The moment he bumped into the red-headed woman on his way back to his Study Kunikida had let out a ragged sigh. Because not only was his Prince slacking off his duty and using his workroom to do so, but he was breaking women's hearts also. In that cold, detached way he always had.

A particular stack of papers on his table made Kunikida do a double-take. At least two inches worth of correspondence letters due to be sent out today. Kunikida knew exactly of their contents, seeming as though he spent a sleepless night writing them. And with that knowledge came the fact that he had also asked a particular useless First Prince to sign off on them, only a few hours prior.

And what was his monarch deciding to do instead?

Without warning, Kunikida took one of the heavier letters meant for the Ko Kingdom and thwacked it right off of the Prince's head.

"Ah!"

"You good for nothing monarch!" He hissed. Composure was a special thing to a Court Secretary, and yet Dazai always had a unique way to make his break right down. "I asked only for your signatures! Your signatures, First Prince of my Kingdom, and you could not even do that!"

Whining, Dazai rubbed at the spot he had been struck. "Agh, Kunikida-kun. Do you think it wise to strike your future King...?"

     As if he heard none of it, Kunikida raised the paper again with gritted teeth. He wasn't one bit afraid of this man — friend, debatably — and Dazai wasn't serious in his threat. Although he was quick to dodge another swing directed his way. 

"How could you—" Whoosh, paper slicing through air. "Be a King—" Whoosh. Dazai took refuge behind a table. "Of a Kingdom." Whoosh. "If you won't even complete your respectable duties!" Whoosh, whoosh.

"Respectable duties are boring, Kunikida-ah!" Blindsided by his anger, the livid Secretary had knocked his chair onto the floor and narrowly missed Dazai by the curls of his hair. There was no weaponry letter on him anymore. Kunikida was really going for his Prince with long, strangling fingers. "Kunikida-kun! Why not have some sympathy for me?"

A growl, akin to a feral animal, was the all the sympathy Prince Dazai was going to receive.

Dazai dove across the table purposely, knocking over ink pots and correspondence pages until they existed only as a black-splattered mess against the floorboards. At that, Kunikida froze, staring at his hours of work from last night exist as nothing but saturated ink parchments on the floor.

Slowly he looked up to Dazai. This demonic waster of his sleeping hours.

He had a rueful smirk on his face. 

"Ah. Ink is difficult to get out of the floorboard. Will I call a Maid, Kunikida-kun?"

"You—!"

"But luckily, because I'm a great liege, I saved what I could." In his white-gloved hand, Dazai produced a small booklet that Kunikida kept secured on him like a holy scripture. Unbeknownst to Kunikida the Prince had secret, sly ways of swiping from his pockets when he wasn't looking. Or, in this case, a blinding fit of rage. "You still make a habit of carrying this around, hmm?"

The Secretary balked, and just as quickly did he move when he saw his Notebook in his hand. 

"Hand that over—"

"Let's see, what has dear Kunikida-kun have to do today? Wooing lovely Court Women? Ah! It says here you wish to embezzle my Father's funds."

"I have no such plans in there!"

"Guard-san~!" Dazai hollered loudly. "Ready a message for The King! Tell him his trusted Secretary is being untruthful with his accounts—!"

Two strong, furious hands balled into the Prince's white frock and he was slammed against the wall beside the open door. Air knocked from his chest with a grunt, and when he focused his eyes he was met with the terrifying wrath of an irritated Throne Secretary. It made amusement brew in his chest, for Kunikida Doppo was always an easy man to rile up.

"Shut up," Kunikida hissed. "If you're good for anything you'll shut up."

Dazai's lips curved. With a raised brow, he couldn't help but push on his buttons just a little further.

"My, my, Kunikida-kun. I'm beginning to think your work is keeping you from women for too long." He dropped his voice to a teasing whisper. "What'll the Guard who's scurrying here think if you have me pinned up against a wall?"

An unnatural talent the First Prince had; anything he noticed, even if it was quiet sounds or slight changes in surroundings, always told him way more than what a normal human would pinpoint. So Kunikida took him on his word. As if he was a branded iron, the secretary released his Prince right at the moment a Guard came bustling through the door. 

"Y-Your Highness!" He exclaimed when he saw the dishevelled hair and clothes of the Prince. "What—?"

"Never mind, I am quite alright." Dazai waved him off, although the way he reached up to rub at his chest made the Guard hesitate. Laughing in a slight wheeze, he said, "You are asked to leave."

The confused Guard knew better than to disobey direct orders. With a small, unsure nod did he turn out of the room and return to his original post. 

The confused Guard knew better than to disobey direct orders. With a small, unsure nod did he turn out of the room and return to his original post. When they were certain they were alone once more and allowed to speak comfortably, Kunikida redirected his glare onto the First Prince.

"My Notebook. Give it here."

"Is your deepest, darkest desires documented in here and that's why you're so protective over it? Detailed plans on what you would like to do in a private bedroom—?"

One quick thrust of his hand and Kunikida swiped his Notebook back. "Even if I did, I hardly think you would take any interest in it."

"Hmm? Of course I would~ You're my future Right Hand, after all."

"And you are the Prince who decides to drown himself in women than complete anything expected from his position in this Kingdom."

An exaggerated whine. "You never hold back, do you Kunikida-kun?"

"As Secretary, it would be unlawful for me to hold back. Especially when it comes to wasteful Princes such as yourself." Daggers of grey that made Guards, Officials, even some Diplomats of neighbouring Kingdoms falter drilled into the brunet's head. Of course, because he was Prince Dazai, he didn't even flinch. If anything — it made him grin.

Another curious question flitted into Dazai's mind. A whisper in the halls paired with the group of maids he had waved at today. "If I'm not mistaken, you have just chosen the new recruiting Maids today, have you not?"

Kunikida's jaw tightened, released with a sigh. He took a moment to pick up a soiled parchment quietly before muttering; "You are not mistaken."

"Heh? Why does it sound like you have not overseen Maids, but a bunch of stubborn-minded Page-boys?"

"Stubborn-minded Page-boy," At his Prince's description, Kunikida couldn't help the dry chuckle that came over him. A particular strong-willed, blue-eyed Maid who dubbed their Castle one of Thieves came to mind. Now how would she react, if she heard anyone call her a name that suited her personality so well?

"She's probably burn the Castle down..." Kunikida said without realising.

Dazai's eyebrow raised. "Who?"

"Ah—nothing. My thoughts spoke without permission. Forget it."

"Oh, no! Do tell, I don't think I've heard to speak of a woman before!"

Kunikida grumbled. He had attracted the attention of his meddlesome First Prince, there was no escaping it now. Placing the parchments back down, he took a breath. 

"There are some Maids," Some, because if he named her, his Prince will decide it his business to use her to mess with him. "Who have more pride than manners in the new recruitments."

The First Yo Prince had another trait about him that made him equal parts useful and terrifying. Especially when it came to interrogating enemies of the Province. No one can deceive him. Lying to this man was as fruitless as it was dangerous. In this case, if Dazai knew his future Secretary was lying to him, he did not show it. All his expression showed was subtle amusement; lips curved and hand coming up to tap his cheek.

"Now, your schedules surely can't take that, can it? What'll you do?"

"There is nothing to do, yet. Perhaps working in a stressful environment where she's expected to constantly be mannerly will solve any current problems."

Secretary Kunikida Doppo was a sharp and intelligent man, but he was far from the most acute in the room. He had just exposed the real truth; that it was not a group of maids that had more will than manners, but a single maid. Kunikida hadn't realised his slip-up, but Dazai had. The cunning Prince decided to keep his silence, internally mulling over a potentially curious situation unfolding in front of him.

A woman who could shake his constantly up-strung Secretary?

Now, wouldn't she be an interesting lady to meet?

"What are you spacing out like that for, useless Prince?"

The Prince gave none of his thinking away. Instead, he smiled at his future Secretary. That constructed Princely smile that was as much of a mask as everything else he fixed his expression into.

"No reason~"

The walls of grey continued to bore him with their obnoxious golden embellishments and lavish paintings of Royalty as he strode down them. Many of the oil masterpieces were of his Father King Dietrich, although there were also a generous few of him. Back when he was younger and a lot more sheltered under the watchful eyes of Court Officials — his eyes an unapologetic emotionless stare, mouth a consistent straight line. 

Prince Dazai at fifteen years of age was only coming to realise the emptiness in his soul. It would take him a few more years to learn how to shield it from prying Officials under false smiles and pretences.

"Director~!"

The Prince flickered his attention from the walls to the Guard standing still in front of him, greeting him fondly. Tasked with one of the most important roles in the Yo Palace; the Captain of their Cavalry was the lone trusted individual to guard his room. Although Dazai took a liking to calling him the strange nickname Director, unlike Captain or General. His Guard never once complained about the oddly respected title he was given by his Prince.

"My Prince." Fukuzawa Yukichi inclined his head.

"Anything interesting happen while I was away?" 

"There is nothing to report." 

Dazai pouted, sighing in that over-grandiose way of his. "Such a shame."

Fukuzawa made no other move to engage the Prince in conversation. Perhaps if he was off duty he would enjoy speaking to his Highness, because it was no small secret that his wicked mind could produce the most fascinating of conversations. But now, the Captain was still on duty until the last ray of sunset. Letting his guard down while protecting the future King of Yo is something a respectable Knight simply did not do. 

Despite knowing such, Dazai lingered at the doorway. His main Guard always had a keen way to entertain him in the walls of his grey Palace, after all. But being the man Director was, his duty came before his personal relationships, so with a small laugh did Dazai push the doors of his bedroom open and step inside.

Into the four walls of his bedroom. One with his untouched bed and barely eaten food he received four times a day. Everything and everyone treated him as the worthy, respected Prince he was meant to be, and yet. And yet—

"A woman who has more pride than manners," The Prince chose to ask instead. To the ghosts that resided in his room. "Could Kunikida-kun finally have met his match, hmm?"

His answer was received by the gentle breeze that tossed the zephyr-like cashmere curtains and teased the crystals of the chandelier. Dulcet tinkles carried through the expansive area. An area that his Father drowned out in wealth befitting of a Prince.

One that made his thoughts so very loud.

Dazai dropped his hands from where he outstretched them to his sides. "Well, why do I believe a chandelier could answer me, anyway?" It was a whisper through his unreadable, vague simper. If anybody listening to him as a man with a man's voice, they would undoubtedly shiver at the empty, hollow tone around his words. But if they heard them from the Prince's mouth with the Prince's voice, they would think it a joke. The Prince of the Yo Kingdom was naturally charismatic and charming individual to his people.

No Kingdom would be at peace if the people came to know that their Prince was truly a cynical, pessimistic individual who saw life as nothing more but a means to and end.

"Perhaps that is why Father drapes me in wealth," His shoes echoed as he walked aimlessly towards his window. "It makes me appear not as I seem—"

Something snapped his attention from his monologue.

Oh, well what have we got here?

Situated near his window was a gift offered to him by the one man he ever truly called his friend. The only man who allowed him to be himself, and talk of the thoughts that ceased to exist in his mind without the shield of a respectable Kingdom monarch. Gorgeously ornate and handcrafted, the chessboard he received before leaving Ko after his time there did not appear in the way he left it.

A pawn.

One single pawn of the white side had been moved. Not obscurely, but a mere tile above where it should be. A common first move in a game of chess. With a raising brow did Prince Dazai come closer to the board. He knew he would have never moved the piece, not of this chessboard. Dazai had not touched this gift in four long years, for a private reason of his own.

"Director?" He called, loud enough to permeate through the door.

It opened in an impressive heartbeat.

"My Prince?" Fukuzawa's strong voice.

Keeping his eyes trained on the pawn, he asked; "I assume you have not taken a sudden liking to the idea of chess?"

At his strange question, the greying Captain hesitated ever so slightly. "I am familiar with the rules, but I doubt I would last against you."

"Have some faith in yourself, Director. You've never played me~"

"Why are you asking, My Prince?"

Dazai was about to ask him who had been in his room prior to him, decided to dismiss it instead. "It is nothing. Merely curious. You may return to your duty."

Fukuzawa wasted no time in returning to his outpost. When Dazai heard the doors click closed, he moved around the chess table to the other side.

"Is that you, Odasaku? Are you missing our games of chess so much?" He asked the empty chair. It was followed by a chuckle and small shake of his head. "No, I believe this is a different phantom."

Perhaps it was because this particular month he had been feeling more bleaker than usual, that the walls were loosing more colour or that his pastimes did not serve their purposes anymore. Dazai had promised himself he would never touch this chessboard again, not after that. But here he was, lured into the game of catching this phantom. The person who dared touch a gift no one in the Castle was permitted to touch.

Long, white-gloved fingers reached out and picked up the top of an opposing black pawn and the Prince of Yo made the second move of the match against the phantom.

"[Name]!"

It was the second day of your housemaid duties and first morning in the Palace. Stopping abruptly in the hallway flooding with other women getting ready for work, you spun around. Naomi was rushing towards you with her skirt in one hand and pencil in the other.

"What is it?" You asked as she stumbled closer.

Naomi said no words. Instead, she simply reached into your apron pocket and pulled out your notebook.

"Hey!" You complained, trying to keep the bucket steady in your hands. "What are you—?"

"Hush." The younger woman chastised. She did so with her eyes downcast and pencil scribbling widely against the notepad. "Mind you, it is only sunrise and many are still asleep."

"But you have just stolen my notebook."

One soft shutting sound and Naomi straightened to stuff said notebook back into your apron pocket.

"And now, I am giving it back to you." Her grey eyes hardened in that typical, Naomi-wrath-like way that said you were about to be scolded. "Do keep your attention on the bell. It will be me who get's to you first before Miss Yosano if you are late again."

You rolled your eyes, albeit playfully, and turned to walk away. "I will. It was a mistake."

"The Palace does not tolerate mistakes!" 

This time, your second eyeroll wasn't at all playful. "Yes, I'm sure they don't." You grumbled to yourself while walking down the same expansive hall as yesterday.

Although your friend was being the same, stern woman she always was, you had every intention of heeding her warning. For all it was worth, you had no intentions of being late again. And not because the Royals did not tolerate tardiness, but because Miss Yosano did not tolerate tardiness.

"Oh? You didn't hear the bell, did you not?" A slow, bone-chilling smile that made every bone in your body freeze. Head Maid Yosano was as beautiful as she was terrifying. "No matter. The East Wing is rather far from the Maid Quarters. Perhaps take care of that room first and work backwards. That way, you won't be late tomorrow, hmm?"

You gritted your teeth at the shiver coming down your spine. Yosano Akiko was different to most Court Officials. She didn't demand respect and manners from her subordinates, she was just another one of the Palace who seemed to receive it. A particular Guard with a shock of silver hair and an alias of Wolf had a similar aura about them. It was not that you liked them, but they were definitely more tolerable than other Royal Officials with air in their head and money in their pockets.

Speaking of Royal Officials and one Guard Wolf . . .

You had turned down to the East Palace Wing lined with the same pompous Guards and one foreign Guard just like yesterday. Today, you had decided to take Yosano up on her suggestion with tending to this room first and working the list backwards. As you came closer to the doors lined with obnoxious gold, you noticed the Guard Wolf was taking shift again. 

Does he not sleep? You wondered, taking in how he stood like a statue. I wonder if he even breathes.

"What business do you have here?" Was the question he asked when you stopped before him.

You resisted the urge to raise a brow. "The same business as yesterday."

Guard Wolf didn't lift his closed eyes. Not a silver hair on his head budged when he repeated, "That does not answer my question, Maid."

Your eyelashes fluttered in rapid succession. You had hopes that this Guard was different; but your opinion of him was taking a steep dive indeed and he was doing nothing to stop it. "I'm here to tend to this room." You responded tightly.

"As early as this?"

"I was advised to by Miss Yosano."

At that, he said nothing, although he must have deemed your reasoning plausible because he took one step to the side and allowed your through. You felt something akin to disappointment bubble in your gut.

Surely it would not matter to a Guard, but you wanted strangely to let him know he had upset you. That stupid habit you had promised Naomi you would not give into, yet here you were.

"Thank you," You whispered, and just before entering the room added, "My Lord."

Maybe you also closed the door a little too hard, but didn't hold yourself accountable. You never did when Court Officials came into the picture. Or more specifically; Court Officials who you believed were not like all other Court Officials. 

"Why do I give them the benefit of the doubt...?" You grumbled while setting down the bucket. When you straightened the first thing you did was dig around for the notebook Naomi had written in before getting started on work.

A smile lightened your spirit upon reading what the girl had written.

𝒫𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔. 𝐼 𝓈𝒶𝓌 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓇𝒶𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓀𝓃𝓊𝒸𝓀𝓁𝑒𝓈 𝓌𝑒𝓇𝑒, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐼'𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒷𝑒𝒻𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝓅𝑜𝓁𝒾𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒶𝑔𝒶𝒾𝓃. 𝒮𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝓌𝑜𝓂𝒶𝓃. 𝒟𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒹𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒷𝑒 𝓁𝒶𝓉𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒, 𝑒𝒾𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇!

"Thank you, Miss Naomi." You said with a small laugh. You couldn't dispute her, because you had been wastefully washing twice and polishing wrongly. How the woman found that out will remain a mystery. But you could accept and appreciate the sentiment wrapped in scolding words.

And off you, the training housemaid, went. You disliked this room the most, if it wasn't at all obvious by your first visit. Even being in it a second time and your fury hadn't subsided one bit — less so, when you saw that whatever Guest stayed in here had barely touched his breakfast again. 

What was with that wasteful habit? You asked yourself with a snarl when the food — some of which was still warm — had to be dumped in a bucket for the horses outside. 

Another wonder came as you straightened the bedsheets that were only tossed and not slept in; where was that wasteful guest? At this hour of the morning? You were half expecting him or her to still be in here when you came, for it was sunrise, the hour of Maids and Guards alone. 

No matter, you dismissed while checking the mirrors and other meticulous necessities, they don't sleep and refuse food. Perhaps they're a vampire? For the remainder of the stay, you were wrapped up in the funny thought inspired by your favourite childhood story. You were was serving a vampire, an amusing ponder. A vampire who shares nothing in common with you but a game of chess.

When you were finished and the room of gold and diamonds looked even more immaculate when cleaned — did you succumb to the secret wish to admire said chessboard again and walked towards it. Due to the bell yesterday and Guard Wolf's interruption, you hadn't taken the time to actually marvel at the expensive crystal pieces. Of course, you preferred Grandfather's crafted ones, but could appreciate the feel and weight of ones owned by a noble.

You were jarred suddenly when coming to a stop just before the board.

. . . Oh, God.

Your wide eyes were fixated on the piece you had been admiring yesterday. A crystal pawn that got its colour from the cloudy white inside. You noticed suddenly the mistake you had made, the foolishness of your lack of one final check. Because if you had done that, you would have realised that you did not return the pawn to the place you had found it!

In haste surely, because Guard Wolf would have caught you if you hadn't turned around — you must have placed it wrongly. The tile before it. 

Oh, stupid woman! You grimaced, wondering what would happen now. Surely to anyone, it was just a piece of a chess game. Silly was your sudden distress. But this was a heavily guarded Nobleman's Room, and this was a highly expensive and previously untouched chessboard of said Nobleman.

The sheets you had fixed had been warm, the food had been wasted but pushed around in a bored, dismissive fashion. Whoever resided in here had been here before you, and something so beautiful like this chessboard was a centre piece of the room. He or she had to have noticed it. 

You felt dread creep up your spine. It wasn't worry for you, because you couldn't give a damn about Royals and their accusations, but for the other Maids in your group. Playing with ornate things in a Nobleman's room is simply not done. One would be brandished a thief, or the whole of the Maids would be punished for the actions of one. You couldn't let that happen, you said, doing the only thing you thought right and attempting to put the piece back, you would not allow others to be whipped. You, a thief? Allow them to punish you over something so ludicrous. You hadn't even taken the piece in the first—

The asymmetry of the opposite side of the board, however, made your hand freeze.

What . . . ?

A black pawn had been moved. Third in from the left, mirroring yours that had been moved from the right. You blinked, then blinked a little harder to rid the sleep from your mind. You, after all, had trouble sleeping in the Palace on your first night away from home. Surely, you were seeing things—

You were not.

With a gape, you realised that not only was your curiosity being reprimanded by a Lord wishing to know who dared touch their stuff. Instead, you had been copied. Your accidental move being challenged by one from the opposing side. It threatened to make your dread morph into startled laughter, because what in the world type of Diplomat responded to the mistakes of maids by copying them?

With your hand still hovering over the white pawn, you entertained the thought that perhaps it wasn't copying, but a silent invitation. 

An invitation to play based on your mistake?

"The Castle does not tolerate mistakes!" Naomi's sharp words in your mind.

"Yes, that's right. These people don't tolerate mistakes," Your fingers closed around the beautiful pawn with the intent to reverse your mistake. "An invitation? Hah, not to a Maid it is not."

Some small, insignificant force made you hesitate.

And another one that was dangerous, reckless and so like you made you bite your lip and look back to the door. They were quiet. You were the only one in the room. And was currently allowing herself to play with fire.

You could be whipped.

This could be a well thought out trap.

Remember your promise to Naomi!

It took a moment of furious thinking on what to do. How to handle a situation that looked like a coax to entertain whatever Lord you were cleaning the room of. And then, your habit kicked up. One that did not allow you to be told what to do by these people, to permit your status to have anything to do with it.

So you held your breath and made one of the most reckless moves of your entire life.

A slow, almost impressed smile came over The First Prince's face that night when he came back to his chambers. Not surprisingly, the first thing his attention zoned in on was the chessboard sitting surrounded by soft flowing curtains of white. His new, hopeful distraction from it all.

He was immensely satisfied that whatever curious soul he was entertaining had not disappointed him.

"So," He murmured, walking over to the opposite side of the board. Facing the opposing white side, the commander of which had chosen to take a daring second move. Prince Dazai picked up a black piece. "You've chosen to play, have you Phantom-san?"

You idiot! You absolute reckless, suicidal lunatic! How could you do such a thing by mistake, and then purposely the second time? What'll Miss Yosano say? What will your Grandfather say?

You could almost hear Naomi's high, panicked voice the moment she found out what you had done. Which was why you had decided not to tell her. To save her a possible heart-attack, and definitely not because you knew full well the recklessness of your decision.

Currently, said reckless maid was making her way down the hallway at a slow pace to the Maid's Quarters. Thanks to Miss Yosano's advice, you had managed to get all your chores finished up in a reasonable time and was already walking back when the bell had resounded. Although every task you had done after tending to the first Lord's Guestroom had been with your eyes spaced-out and moves automatic. Quite frankly, you were unsure you had done everything properly. You mind had been left in the room where you made the decision to play with starfire.

A moment of prideful enthusiasm, was what you were naming it. Not your habit of getting yourself into trouble by standing up to those higher than you.

Although you just couldn't help the thought, purely because of the love you had for the game;

I wonder... what move they will make—?

"Oh!"

"Ah!"

You had been so wrapped up in thinking that you had not seen another person standing right in front of you — and collided into them. CRASH, your empty bucket was sent ricocheting off of the floor followed swiftly by your behind. By the sounds of it, the other person had been thrown in the opposite direction and stumbled over her own two feet, too.

You threw your hair coming free from the bow to look at the damage caused. Foolish, foolish me! "Forgive me...!" You said breathlessly upon realising it was another Maid you had collided with. One whose face hid behind a sheet of gorgeous blonde. The lady gave a good shake and lifted her head to look your way.

Wide, searching eyes of unnaturally deep crimson collided with yours. "No, it—it was me. I was the one who didn't see you coming."

"Please, let me take the blame. My mind—" You gave a small laugh. "It wasn't focused on where I was going."

The blonde Maid shook her head and reached to pick up your thankfully empty bucket. What a right mess this would be if you hadn't emptied it with the spare time you had. "Let's settle on us both being at fault," She assured in a quiet, gentle voice. When she stood up she offered a fair hand. "My name is Higuchi."

Higuchi. Such a beautiful name. Befitting of her pale skin and unique eyes. "[Name]." You said while pulling yourself up and taking the bucket. "From the Willows family."

"I see." Was all Higuchi said. You frowned ever-so slightly. It was rather odd, that Higuchi didn't disclose the name of her family after you had. That was basic social etiquette. 

"Higuchi of... which family?"

"Oh," The woman bristled, both now walking side by side. "I forgot myself. Isayama. I'm of the Isayama family."

"Isayama?" You tilted your head. "I'm afraid I don't know them."

"I'm not from here, you see."

"Ah, that explains it." Suddenly very interested in the now foreign lady to these lands, you shifted to look at her properly. With her exotic red eyes and blonde hair, you could see now that her familial roots were not of the Yo Kingdom. Many here had naturally dark hair and eyes, with the exception of some. "Excuse me for saying this, Higuchi, but you're very beautiful."

Higuchi's shoulders stiffened in an unprecedented action. It was one you didn't expect and hadn't meant to illicit; you had just called this woman beautiful, yet it looked more like you'd slapped her right across the face.

Although the reaction was gone with a heavy sigh and a smile on Higuchi's part. It looked terribly forced, you noticed.

"You're very kind, [Name]." Was all she said.

You didn't like the tone in Higuchi's voice, not one bit. It was a soft husky whisper, which was her natural voice that sounded like you could drift off to sleep to it peacefully. But there was something else there too. A strange, ancient stiffness that you just couldn't place a name too.

Although that would have to wait, because now you had arrived at the Servants Quarters and were about to head to dinner.

"Would you like to sit with me?" You asked the blonde. A woman you didn't really want to leave alone, and wished to get to the bottom of why such a compliment could make her react like a frightened animal. Naomi surely would make the woman warm up, for her radiance could melt the walls of an ice Palace.

The woman hesitated. Then, fixed her expression into one of gratitude. "I would . . . like that. Thank you."

A spoon clattered into the soup bowl; a warm, grateful meal on the menu for housemaids today. Naomi's eyes were saucer-wide, staring at Higuchi across from her in shock. "The Hama Kingdom!? That is where you're from?"

"Yes," Higuchi answered calmly. "I am."

You and Naomi exchanged glances. This was news to both of you.

"You made a long journey to come here," You observed while bringing a water cup to your mouth. You raised a brow when adding, "For Maid's work."

"I suppose. I am from a large family, many of which are scholars and educational-people. There is no work for a woman such as myself in a large capital esteemed for men's work. So, I came here. I'm afraid frivolous womanly duties are not for me."

You shrugged one shoulder. "Well, I can agree with you there."

"Oh, but do tell me how it is to live in our largest Kingdom!" Naomi was buzzing in her seat. She was warranted the excitement to some extent, for it was rare to talk directly to visitors from your Capital. They were usually seen and tended to by King Dietrich himself. "Is it as beautiful as the stories say? That the rivers run with gold and the Ladies dresses sparkle with magic glitter?"

Higuchi looked a little lost for what to say; blinking and averting her eyes from the bubbly girl. You could understand it, feeling a little sympathetic for the blonde. Of course, the river didn't run with gold and dresses were not made of star-stuff, but to shoot Naomi down would be akin to stabbing a gentle puppy.

"Well . . . " Higuchi began.

BANG!

Every head in the room, including a watchful Yosano Akiko, snapped up to the jarring sound that had many spoons hitting the floor. The door of the Servants Quarters had been completely thrown open by one single man; short, dressed in an obnoxious display of green, golden shoulder embellishments that told of his high standing and a comical lime cap. The man looked every bit hilarious as he did childish. Although, that was only your opinion.

"Yosano-san!" His voice called. It was high for a man, and rather demanding. All the way he walked he had his eyes curved shut. 

"Ranpo-san." The lady greeted calmly. And, dare you think it, but was there respect in her voice? In Miss Yosano's voice? For a man who talked to her like a child?

"Who is that?" You whispered.

"I . . . have no idea." Was Naomi's equally confused murmur.

"What brings you to my Quarters?" Yosano asked the man. Standing beside her and scanning the crowd with an annoyed mumble, this Ranpo man was a lot short than your average male. Perhaps that's why he wears such a large hat, the smirk was back on your face. 

"A feeling." Ranpo said, and then zeroed his attention in on the desk you, Naomi and Higuchi sat at. When he wouldn't move his face away did your smirk gradually fall from your face. Because why the hell was he—

You had no time to question it. In a heartbeat, the short man came striding right over to you three until he was a few centimetres away from Higuchi. Who, you noticed, was staying oddly silent. What in the world was going on? Your mind raced, now feeling oddly defensive that every single pair of eyes were zoned in on your table. Naomi's hand felt for yours under the table and you clasped it tightly, attempting to offer her some comfort as she shook under the attention of a Court Representative.

Although this was what your bad habit was good for.

"May we help you, My Lord?" You asked the man. 

Him and his eyes he kept closed, it rubbed you the wrong way. All Royal Officials rubbed you the damned wrong way, but this one cocked a dark brow at you and frowned.

"Lord?" He asked in an accusing voice. Then, he pointed at you. "You mustn't address me as a Lord. I'm an Investigator. Isn't that obvious by my state of dress, or have you half the braincells of a normal Maid?"

You had never had so much disrespect thrown at you from one person. Royal Official or slum-rats alike! 

"Excuse me?" You asked, ignoring how Naomi's nails were digging holes into your hand. You could hear her desperate string of thoughts; please, [Name], I beg you to behave. You promised! But hell if you would keep tight lipped when a big-headed Investigator degraded you in front of a hall of people. You promised to mannerly, you did not promise not to defend your pride. 

This Investigator tilted his head. "Ah, Yosano-san, this Maid is faulty. You'll have to throw her away, I'm afraid."

There was no going back now. Strain, tear, snap. Your mouth opened before you could stop it. 

"I'd rather be a faulty Maid, as you say, than a pig-headed Royal Investigator who believes himself above everybody just because of a title."

Silence befell over the entire eating hall. It was a heavy silence, pregnant and hard to breathe in. That was, for everyone else that was not you. You were too busy glaring icy daggers at the shorter man in green. No expression but one of mild surprise was on his face, which did its job at making you even more agitated. You felt like an aggressive teenager again underneath his unflinching stare; how an unamused adult would look at a temperamental child.

These bloody Royal Officials — you were about to stand and give him a good scolding. You were knee deep in it already, better go all the way if it meant you'd be given the same punishment. Naomi was now holding onto your wrist with two hands, as if reading your mind, and keeping you seated. Just barely.

But then, the Investigator did say something.

"Hmm?" And all of a sudden, he lifted his eyes and really looked at you. Jarred, suddenly taken aback by the intense colour of them. Like the finest green fields, or purest emerald gems. They sparkled with such deep intelligence. "So it's you, then?"

You quickly recovered from your shock to double over in confusion at what he just said. It's me? It's me . . . what? "I—"

"No! That's enough from you. You're voice irritates me." The man said. It was like he was baiting you to lunge at his throat. The only thing keeping this red-faced trainee maid from committing the highest offense in a Palace was poor Naomi, who was keeping her hands locked around your arm in a vice-grip, begging you to calm down. 

"My feeling is not for you, any way," Ranpo went on. He had long since closed his impressive eyes, but still they managed to turn to a reserved Higuchi across from them. He reached out to poke her shoulder. "It's for you, Higuchi of the Hama Kingdom."

Higuchi didn't turn around and face the upstanding Court Official that was calling her, to everyone's surprise. Instead she took a moment to clear her throat. "And what is this feeling for, Royal Investigator?"

Investigator Ranpo leaned down to whisper the words so low only the table participants could hear, "I fear your papers have a mistake on them." 

At the cryptically put words, Higuchi sighed. It was minute and didn't give away anything she was feeling. "Forgive me, I'm not educated enough. Unlike a Royal Investigator. Do you wish for me to come with you?"

"It's tiresome, but yes. I have a meeting with the Secretary himself scheduled for you."

"How generous of you."

You — now that the anger had subsided at least somewhat — couldn't help but shake the feeling that there was something else happening in this conversation. The words were spoken artfully and some sounded more a threat than a polite command. Like they were in on an inside joke no one else knew. You searched for Higuchi's eyes for an explanation, or perhaps a short call for help, but the blonde kept her respectable crimson gaze downcast. Gracefully, she rose from the bench and followed the shorter man all the way to the door. While, of course, withstanding the weight of everyone's stares.

The woman didn't even flinch.

You may not be well read on Court business, but knew enough to understand that being summoned by a Royal Investigator and then a Throne Secretary received at least some suspicion. And although you didn't want to believe something sinister could be at work surrounding the beautiful woman of blonde, you couldn't help the nagging doubt.

Another unnecessary BANG! disturbed the air, and then after; silence. It was startled at first, but then quickly bled into pregnant, once more. Because now that Higuchi had left, there was another elephant in the room. [Name] Willows; a maid insane enough to throw unmannerly insults at a Court Official and expect to get by unscathed.

And by the narrowed, sharp magenta eyes of her Overseer; Yosano Akiko, you wondered of how unscathed that would be. If you would even get out of it alive at all.

ʚɞ . . . 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

ʚɞ . . . 𝐌𝐘 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄

[laurelslegacy]

Rebel’s shorts:

Will it turn into a whole story? Oh likely, most likely a lemon chap.

Just been moving and not really able to work on anything at all sans packing.

Way too hot:

“AGH!” It was accompanied by the crunch of yet ANOTHER datapad being destroyed,the string of curses in a wide range of languages accompanying it.

Kallus took a slow deep breath “What is wrong Garazeb?” clearly the use for the full name paired with the lack of compassionate tone was telling to his lack of care. Then again there was FEW creatures that could handle this heat, humans least of all but all furred beings had been relived and yet there was Garazeb, one moment BOASTING how Lasat were from a desert planet and now unable to handle the heat of Yavin 4. Having collapsed three times from heat exhaustion and included at least two hours of IV hydration its was quite clear Zeb was not handling the heat. They had not taken into account the thickness and the weight of the wet heat felt.

Kallus was as sympathetic as he could be. His furred lover had to hate this place, yet never quite expressed it. On the Glimmer Kallus did his best to keep it cool but that required fuel…

He found that Zeb more often than naught had a few frozen packs with him. Happy to snuggle in close so long as he had the pack with him.

But there was the “incident” after many arguments and lectures-

Teeth bared and the desk thrown with inhuman power, Zeb snarled.

“Back down” was the Green Twi’lek’s command. Hera Sendulla had her eyes squarely on Zeb, nearly half his size but her command was not wavering.

Zeb’s nostrils flared, he growled but backed down.

“Go see Kallus.” was her only command. There was a growl, deep, dark.”Go see Kallus.” she reiterated and with a snort Zeb relinquished.

The story was told by Sabine later, Garazeb had returned with a water soaked blanket in and Dropped it on the Twi’lek yelling “that’s what it’s like!”

And the response, well she had suspended Zeb for a week on the Glimmer.

“Some of us still have work.” Kallus rose naked from the shared bed, ice packs scattered about like confetti to keep the two cooler. Zeb grumbles “and I expect supper to be ready.”

“ I ain’t yer maid.” The grumbled sounds of an already panting and heated Lasat came from the bed.

“Actually “ Kallus paused to pull up a foot and adjust his blaster straps “ as you are kicked off the Ghost, you are.” It earned him a gutheral growl Kallus only chuckled at.

[the-starry-lycan]

Doggie Dinner Time

"Aephorul, listen to me."

"No."

"I said-"

"No."

Resh'an's hands balled into fists. This man was such an immature paramecium sometimes.

"You've been shirking your food again."

The flesh-alchemist looked up from his book, something about the different types of transmutation runes and circles He tilted his head in a way that was likely meant to look innocent, but gave rather the look of a psychopath with a propensity to kill people. "Ludicrous and impossible to prove."

The chronomancer narrowed his eyes at the fleshmancer.

"Okay." He materialized a horizontal portal out of thin air, just in front of Aephorul, and let something drop out of it - what looked roughly like a slimy, half-digested pile of vegetables and rice. "Explain this, then."

"Did you teleport that out of my stomach?" Aephorul peered at the pile. "Any one of them?"

"That's what your dog puked up under my desk an hour ago."

"And you kept it? Goodness, Resh'an, you're more deranged than I thought-"

"Stop feeding her human food!" The chronomancer snapped, clapping his hands together with a burst of wind to silence his-.. he would say partner, but they weren't anymore. Not by a long shot. He was, in all honesty, on better terms with Romaya than with Aephorul.

"Why? She gets on just fine."

"The spices are making her sick. She has an upset tummy, and worse, you could kill her if you feed her certain things."

Aephorul stood, crossing his arms. "I have checked each that I feed her - no onions, grapes, chocolate, or mushrooms. I feed her what she needs, these being grains, meat, vegetables - canines need an omnivorous, balanced diet. High-calorie in the case of young pups. And you know that I find meat revolting."

"How ironic."

"Try working with flesh-alchemy for centuries and you'll see why."

"Just.." Resh'an sighed, putting his head in his hand. "..Please. Don't kill her on accident."

"I am not going to kill her."

"Do you even know where she is?" Resh'an looked around the Archives. There was no sign of anything, save for a faint ripping noise-

Ripping noise?!

"Agh! No, no no no NO!" Resh'an scrambled to the sound, trying to save the assaulted book from the maw of what he knew was a teething puppy. "Aephorul!!"

With a loud yap! the puppy responded to Aephorul's name and bounded to him.

She's.. smart for a pup..

"See?" Aephorul put down his book to lift up the pup carefully in his clawed hands - he'd foregone using tentacles with her, said that doing so was 'bad during the developmental stages of her mind'. "I knew just what Rairi'Laël was doing."

"Evil.." Resh'an muttered a few curses under his breath and brought the mangled tome to his desk. Third time this week. The alchemist could swear that Aephorul was teaching his little demon-pup to attack his things specifically - she never bit on any of Aephorul's books!

Turning back, watching Aephorul dote on his puppy.. Resh'an was glad for it. At least, if he was spending his energy on raising this pup.. that was less energy spent towards the destruction of worlds. Which gave Resh'an time to find a way for containing him that wasn't death or stasis or shattering his soul to bits and scattering them across worlds.

His time-flow and chronological transmutation experiments were going rather well..

..As much as it disappointed him, then, Resh'an left Aephorul be. He wasn't hurting anyone, and as long as that was the case.. Resh'an was fine.

All he needed now.. was a little more time.

______________________________________________________________

Uploaded HERE at last!! I have an AO3 collection for my Doggo Deal AU, but I'll post my AU fanfics here too for easy access - and to follow the plot more easily! :3

[shootingstarrfish]

HOW DO YOU DRAW SO QUICKLY AGH

I swear every time I turn around you’ve posted another masterpiece I’m jealous you can draw so fast it takes me like 3 days at least for a piece lol

AHH i keep being asked this and im flattered yall think this?? ill take a bit to explain the choices that help with my speed and circumstantial stuff that helps a lot

obligatory YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THINGS FAST taking your time is good!! i just get bored easily so i like being done with things and moving on, but i'm very aware of the fact that social media rewards this and punishes inconsistency so i get it lol

long ass ramble under the cut lol

okay so things i deliberately do to draw fast-

i specifically have 2 distinct styles because i constantly have too many ideas, and most of them don't need to be several hour long illustrations so i try to pick my battles and go for a simpler more expressive style for shitposts/memes/etc and reserve my more detailed style for ideas that actually benefit from having that extra time and effort. ofc this won't work for everyone but i tend to have 50 styles at any given moment anyway so giving myself the freedom to switch between them has been really nice

not necessarily deliberate??? but theres no perfectionism in this house, which helps a lot so i don't spend ages fussing over minute details (im a perfectionist at heart but a lazy one LOL)

giving myself time deadlines is also really helpful, like "i have to finish the lineart im the next half an hour" has been really good for getting me to focus and get things done, even if i don't make the 'deadline'. i think generally being conscious of how i use my time is good

okay so circumstantial (?) things-

ALSO USE REFERENCES they help a lot!!! stumbling around trying to figure things out on your own is time consuming, don't be scared of using references!

this isn't a speed thing but i think it's important to note that i spend like ALL my free time drawing, probably to a ridiculous degree. i draw during my work break, i draw after work, on the weekend, speed is nothing in the face of time lol. im usually tired after work but im also stubborn so i try to push through and draw anyway (50/50 chance it works and i get something done or i just sit there in a daze wishing i was asleep LOL)

im also a dumbass who takes on way too much, i have a whole buncha zines and commissions constantly at all times cause i can never say no so i kinda just HAVE to be fast to keep up with everything. i don't recommend it but it's a thing ashdjfj

i also used to be on tiktok and for some god forsaken reason i spent like a solid few months consistently posting 3 times per day which burnt me out SO fast and i absolutely don't recommend but it definitely required speed lol

i will also say that as i draw more and feel more comfortable in my art it comes to me a lot more naturally, and i'm able to make decisions on the fly a lot easier

also okay so starr lore my dad used to be really against me drawing so i would have to sneak onto the computer when he was out of the house hahaha, this gave me anywhere from 30 mins to 2 hours per day to do whatever i wanted, so i had to quickly adapt to that and be super fast if i ever wanted to get anything done

again speed isnt the be all end all of anything, tbh most of this is just my brain working in weird ways that prefers the quicker pace so please don't compare yourself!!

okay long ass ramble over thanks for reading <3333

[thecollectionsof]

i'm doing this late because i pinky promised myself that i wasn't allowed to do this until my work for the week was done. but now it is !!!!! i'm free !!!!!! thank you lovely @rialitysworld and @sweetlikesunflowersandhoney for tagging me i love you :)

💖A WLW ship that's your go to for when you need to read some shameless smut

goodecox!! between predictable and beloved @aqpippin and the literary masterpieces she creates it is definitely The Ship to me :)

❤️ Tropes in WLW fics/media that give you life

i love and adore the mutual pining/idiots to lovers/friends to lovers sweetness that i think crygi fics encapsulate so well but also. soulmate aus. hanahaki aus. any fun interesting concept like that is always super fun :)

🧡 A song that heals your feels about that angsty WLW ship of yours

okay i'm cheating becuse it's not a song but every time i reread mar's hanahaki au i have to go watch lemyanka videos or at least go through their tag so i'm not sad anymore. but i have to read it so much it's so GOOD

💛 A WLW writer that deserves their time in the sun (author spotlight)

showing the judges versatility i'm not gonna only say loml @gggoode even though we know that is always and forever my answer. i can and will tell you anything and everything about every fic posted because AGH. and also AHHHHHH <3

@sexynetra - i know y'all know rawnsyf BUT if you haven't read the crygi olympics au it's SO cute they're SO in love. and the amandawn??? incredible you gotta read it

@sweetlikesunflowersandhoney - the way she writes makes me fall in love with the world and i mean that. like her writing makes me want to love the world and love myself more, i swear it's her superpower. she has magical words :)

💚 A picture of one of your fave WLW ships in nature, or in their natural habitat

🩵 Recommend a WLW fic that you think more people should read

okay has everyone read the uk2 gbbo au by @junosjukebox because i saw a uk2 video the other day and was gripped by the sudden and Very Strong need to read it again and it's currently waiting for me as one of my tabs for when i have reading fics hours later :) it's incredible and actually got me to watch uk2 you NEED to read it (it's a must)

💙 Three colours that remind you of your WLW OTP

orange, purple, and pink! (for crygi <3)

💜 Thoughts on soulmates in fiction

good ones. great ones. i can definitely see how it could make me uncomfy if it isn't written well, but the soulmate aus i've read here are lovely and amazing and make it seem so beautiful <3

a few examples of the incredible soulmate aus here: (mar's halldoll) (til forever falls apart) (this gottlux) (crygi where it's also smut) (the florist crystal famous nicky model gigi one that makes me want to scream in the best way possible)

okay i'm gonna tag @sexynetra @aqpippin @adoordelano @myhusbandharryhamilton and @lemyankajuiced :)

[knizmokat]

Life Update !!

this is so overdue but i've been crazy busy with college stuff (agh)

okay so you guys (probably) know that i'm in college getting a bachelors in social care and this whole semester (plus my second semester of third year) is work experience/placement.

for the americans and anyone else who doesn't know what that is: work experience is when students get a part-time or full-time job during the semester and shadow staff or professionals to get experience in their field.

my course has two work experience blocks, so i'm on placement for my entire first semester of second year (which is right now) and then also the entire second semester of third year, so i don't have any classes or lectures until January. we have to log 400 hours by the 6th of December so it's roughly 30 or 35 hours a week, for twelve weeks.

i started on the 9th of September and i'm working at a day service (or centre) for people with intellectual disabilities and mental health struggles (mostly the former). and it's actually pretty chill! my schedule is below

Mon to Thurs: 8.30 - 4.30

Wednesday: 8.30 - 12.30

Friday: 8.30 - 3.00

the place where i work always gives students a half-day so they can get more time for college work and lemme tell you, i was so hyped when i found this out because i thought it would be nine to five, monday to friday.

so like i said, it's been really chill, but adjusting to the new work routine has been really difficult because i finish at 4.30 but i don't actually get home until 5.00 and then i have to change and do stuff and it's been a little messy—but we're settling !!

the place is really chill, the service users (that's what the official term is for people who are involved with the social care sector) are all pretty nice. the majority of them are much older than me though, which is a little weird sometimes because i'm essentially in this position of leadership and 'authority' and telling a man who is a few decades older than me to go have his lunch 💀💀

the adjustment, again, has been a struggle because i've never had to create a work/life balance for myself? like when i'm at work i have to be present and focused, so i was on social media wayyy less and literally didn't message some of my friends for days outside of sending Instagram reels 💀 but like i said, i'm finally settling and finding some balance

my supervisor is also really cool, she's very flexible when it comes to missing days and says that i can make the hours whenever, like if i see an opportunity then i take it (if you don't have 400 hours logged by december, you fail placement) and she's always making sure that i'm comfortable and stuff because they haven't had a transgender student working for them before lol

outside of that uhhh not much? has happened?? i've gone through a lot of growth since August and i'm not really sure how it happened but like i'm just more confident now and i'm more comfortable in my sexuality (or should i say asexuality haha) and i've come to terms with a lot of things, been dealing with my anxiety really well (but i also got stress sick this last week because of procrastination and executive dysfunction kicking my ass)

also i got back into roleplaying bc my friend has this server and oh my God it's so good, i went ages without getting to roleplay anything because i didn't really have any partners (excluding reygn yes i see you gorgeous) and just ahh

also i'm back into anime, finally continued my hero academia and restarted jujutsu kaisen, slow going though because i'm fixating on other things simultaneously but holy shit mha season six?? goddamn

but uhh yeah so that's been my life :)

i have two fics in the works but when i'll get those finished is anybodys guess, could be next week could be next year, who knows lmao

i'm gonna try to post more on here—and i mean actually post not just reblogging shit lol

feel free to ask me whatever or leave stuff in my askbox

[cornflowershade]

thanks for tagging me @distant-screaming <333

Current time: 12:18pm

Current activity: Making some tea 🫖

Currently thinking about: ...how I don't want to go to work today lol. I love what I do but today I feel yicky (hence the tea) so I'm not looking forward to leaving my house. Especially since I have to be there for an extra hour bc of a staff meeting.

Current favourite song: c'mon I don't do favorites 😭 I've been liking Ordinary by Tilly Birds a lot though! :D

Currently reading: Wish I had something interesting to put here but uh. I'm not currently reading anything.

Currently watching: The Shipper! This show is WACK. And I love it. It's just. So wild, and funny. Also, First's acting is literally SO good. The way he sells the body swap I just. AGH. Also cute lil Ohm is there. And Jennie. It's a good time and I appreciate how unpredictable it is. It's been my little happy evening watch lately.

Current favourite character: I think this was my answer last time I got tagged in one of these but. Ray from Only Friends. He's just so!! <3

Current WIP: I have a few fanvids in progress. Not gonna say they're still going at a promising pace but, I want them to be done so bad! I have a really fancy fun edit going to New Rules for SandRay & NickBoston. I also have a Buffy Summers edit going.

Aside from that I have a few fics but—while I certainly haven't given up on them—I'm not sure I'd call them WIPs considering the amount of time it's been since I last touched them.

Other things I've been working on include writing down Thai words I know on flashcards, which has been a fun if time-consuming process! It's a personal goal of mine to work on learning Thai. I've actually never learned a second language but have always wanted to, so it's rather special to me! I don't know a ton yet but I'm proud that I haven't given up on it. And it's honestly so satisfying when I'm watching something or listening to music and realize I understood something small without having to read subs, or understand a teeny tiny joke that wouldn't come across in English.

Besides that, I was doing a giant WIP in October which I didn't get that far on, but that's making the floofy Wednesday Addams dress. I've at least finished drafting a really nice fitted undershirt and making most of the detailed leather belt with a thick pleather material I had—it just needs to be assembled but I didn't do that bit yet bc my sewing machine was having issues for a while there (anyway I cut out 110 little shapes for the belt by hand with an xacto knife bless my SOUL). Hopefully I'll get back to the project when I'm feeling more energetic again!

Alright, tagging some lovely mutuals :D @lamonnaie @softpran @celestial-sapphicss @justafriend-ql @firstkanaphans @khaofirsts

[whentherewerebicycles]

good morning here is a portrait of the scruffy little girl at the airport a few days ago :) we are having a very nice time at my parents’ house! it has been unseasonably cool and pleasant here although I think there will be a heat wave coming through our last couple days. mmm I feel a little bleh today but I think it’s just an emotional hangover from having a couple big crying jags yesterday after a week or two of feeling mostly fine. I am definitely way better overall than I was in the first couple weeks after but man certain types of content can just reopen the feelings and plunge me right back into that immediate aftermath-level grief/anger. I was thinking about it more and I don’t think my anger is even @ the people who are announcing pregnancies or births… I’m just angry at the universe you know. angry at god or whatever. searing white-hot scorched earth fury. but what can you do but feel it / endure it / keep moving forward. can’t change it can’t make it better can’t go back and put the baby in the right place. agh and I am also having to work pretty hard to not get into a super fatalistic mindset… I just feel this unshakable inner certainty that if I get pregnant again I’ll miscarry in some crushing way or have another ectopic or something else will go horribly wrong. which is grounded in nothing but idk I think part of the big grief feelings is feeling like my body fucked up and is now even less capable of doing the thing and I just aaaaaaghhh gotta move through that too. there’s no reason to think I am doomed the sadness just makes me feel so hopelessly doomed you know and blah blah blah this too is part of the human experience. frankly I’m tired of having human experiences but what can you do.

anyway ok I’m gonna get up soon and take ruthie to the farmer’s market with my mom… we are taking advantage of pip not being here to do lots of socialization things with her. her intensely reactive stranger danger response has gotten SO much better since I first got her but she still does not like it when strange people talk to her or move unpredictably towards her or crouch down in her space. working on it working on it. I also want to put my phone away and read for a couple hours on the porch this afternoon. and write! just for fun no pressure. blah blah ok let’s start the day