#again this does not excuse awful behaviour

[orphiclovers]

Actually I'm not done talking about yoohankim's awful digital footprint pre-scenarios. Kim Dokja gets a lot of flack for being chronically online and cringe and that's fair enough but let's just acknowledge that neither Yoo Joonghyuk or Han Sooyoung are ANY better.

For Han Sooyoung it's obvious. Despite having her own sucessful webnovel, presumably with fans who support her, she gets obsessed with her one hater who thinks she is a plagiarist, finds the "original" novel where this guy was the only commenter on every chapter, and instead of reading her own comments she spends her time reading HIS and imagining he's saying that about her writing. She does this for years. DERANGED BEHAVIOUR. Pre-scenarios Han Sooyoung has no excuse to be acting this crazy. Sent to internet jail for being weird online.

1863rd Han Sooyoung. Automatically get a pass to act unhinged bc after going through the apocalypse that's just expected and also the only person she talks to for 13 years is Kim Dokja and a creepy old man who calls her god, BUT. That being said she's a perfectly average and healthy internet user! Spends literally every waking moment writing a shitty webnovel so hard pieces of her soul chip away and infuse in it, sure, but she doesn't bother anyone, just does her own thing, posts the chapters and occasionally chats with her one commenter. The most normal one here. Somehow.

Kim Dokja. Big fan of a webnovel and can get intense about it sometimes, starts fights online defending his fave character, recommends the same novel so much he gets banned from forums, whatever. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE IS WHAT IM SAYING. This is nothing too crazy, only about the level of an average fandom superfan. Uses his real name online which is certainly a choice but some people do that in real life too. Giving him a pass, I was also a cringey emo teen on the internet once. (and im still cringe and emo)

Yoo Joonghyuk as seen in Yoo Mia side story. Absolutely glued to his phone. He checks it while eating breakfast, while in the car being driven to work, while literally walking down the street so that Yoo Mia has to tell him to put it away and hold her hand! He is basically addicted to reading hate comments about himself. In his narration he mentions that there are only a few regulars in the forums he lurks in and that he recognizes all their usernames, accidentally revealing that he's in too deep and officially lost in the sauce. Even his manager tells him he should stop reading the comments because they clearly upset him, but he justifies it to himself by thinking quote, "If someone has a grudge against him, he just needs to be prepared to face that hatred. Then everything is under his control."  That last line especially is such a cope, and reveals that this behavior is another one of his desperate attempts to feel in control of his life, and as pathetic as that is and as much as I feel sympathy this is being weird online and I'm sending him to Internet jail.

Bonus round: Secretive Plotter. Need I say anything. Absolutely glued to his phone AGAIN, no it doesn't make it better that sometimes it's his kkomas instead of him. Canonically has a bound book of every single comment Kim Dokja ever left on WOS, printed out, which is more freak mode than even Han Sooyoung went. Straight to jail.

[joonsytip]

Only for Love || Mingyu - Part 2

Pairings: Mingyu x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Husband!Mingyu, Cold Wife!Reader, Arranged Marriage au, Contract Marriage au, Divorce au

Synopsis: When an accidental discovery has your perception of happy married life crumbling down, you do what you think is the best for everyone involved. Naturally, your opinion of the best doesn't cater to your husband's. So what happens when things spiral out due to unforeseen events?

Warnings: NSFW, virgin reader, cunnilingus, consensual and penetrative sex, couple uses protection (you do too), mentions of past accident, workplace politics allusions, mentions of getting stalked and periods.

Word Count: 6.1k

Minors DNI! Minors DNI! Minors DNI! Minors DNI!

[ SVT Masterlist ] [ SVT Flick - Fic Masterlist ]

Teaser | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue

It's been half an hour since your arrival to the party and the lack of interaction between you and Mingyu starts to raise some brows.

Mingyu stays rooted to the same place, his eyes fixated on you as he realises that it was wrong of him to totally wring you out and knowing your temperament he's not brave enough yet to place himself in the periphery of your vision.

"The marriage is really a sham, afterall."

Mingyu scoffs, not bothering to look at the source of the voice.

Kim Hanjun has been demoted under the obvious reason of underperforming and it's boiling his blood having to work under Mingyu because being a man with connections and boasting about it openly would have eventually come to bite him back given he's not even good at his job.

"Your wife isn't even interested in you it seems."

Fisting his hands, Mingyu decides to mute out his words.

"Oh so you're not gonna speak because you might accidentally spill something?"

But there's a limit to how much one can endure. Even though he has the patience of a saint, Mingyu just can't tolerate this obnoxious colleague of him.

Just as he opens his mouth to retort, he feels a hand circling his arm. It's you.

"You must be Kim Hanjun?", you say with a poker face, "You're quite the infamous one around here."

Both the men are caught off-guard by your presence.

"Now if you could excuse us.", your grip tightens on your husband, "I have some making up to do, as you can see husband's upset is at me for not spanning attention to him."

Hanjun is rendered speechless when you step forward and say in a dangerously low tone, "If I see you pestering my husband one more time, you might not find your company ID working while swiping."

The man is suddenly sweating and you cross over your arms with a smirk, "I usually don't interfere but sorry to break it to you, if we come down to this, I'd like you to always remember what position my uncle holds in the company. You're not the only one who can exert connections."

Mingyu looks at you in awe. He wants to record this on his phone so that he could watch this again and again. His wife is standing up for him and that's the absolute hottest you've looked.

Once Hanjun leaves, you also turn on your heels to do so but Mingyu doesn't let you.

"I'm tired.", you say turning to look at him, hand trying to scuffle out of his strong grip, "I'm leaving."

"We're leaving.", Mingyu says leading the way, hands still held together.

While it's a sight for others to finally see the couple, might be romantic to some as well by the way Mingyu is not letting go of you but you know the truth so does your husband.

The car ride back home is silent because halfway neither of you speak and for the rest of the path, you somehow fall asleep.

You wake up in Mingyu's arm as he carries you to the bedroom.

"Let me down.", you say tiredly.

But your husband only sets you down on the bed and once he does he starts spilling the apologies.

"I was mad at you and thought you won't come if I asked you.", he says lowering his gaze, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay.", you say not meeting his gaze either and fumbling your fingers, "You should tell me if any of my behaviour has hurt or is bothering you. I can't read minds, Mingyu."

There's a pang in his chest as guilt consumes him. His mind lingers back on how he had been ignoring you for the past few days. And now that he looks at you, he realises the chronic tiredness ghosting over your features.

"Now if you could please move so that I can get changed.", you say, hands gesturing the way out.

Mingyu swears he hasn't had a drop of alcohol present in his body at the moment so why is he all of a sudden, seeing and feeling things differently?

Why are you glowing in the poorly lit room? Since when did you have such deep beautiful pair of eyes? How are your lips looking so luscious?

Mingyu loosens the tie round his neck, clearing his throat. As he has been crouching, he stands up and sides himself so that you would get out of sight because somehow though it's chilly but by doing absolutely nothing you've managed to heat him up.

You walk upto the closet and after searching for a while you turn around to look at your husband.

"Can I wear something of yours?", you ask, leaning against the door, "I think all of my comfortable nightwears have ended up in the laundry."

The man chokes, he wonders if the stars are plotting against him tonight. He settles with a subtle nod, looking everywhere but at you.

You mumble a thanks and grab the first thing that looks comfortable, going into the bathroom to change.

Mingyu rushes out of the room grabbing a pair of clothes and proceeds to wash himself in the guest bathroom just to cool off. He watches his red tinted cheeks in the dazed vision in the mirror, notices his heavy breaths and eyes down to the semi grown tent in his pants.

Something's wrong with him. He can't comprehend his state. His mind lingers back to the moments when you were defending him against Hanjun. His heart beats erratically when he remembers the accidental view of your cleavage through the dress when he was carrying you inside. The slit of your dress wasn't helpful at all as he could see your trained thighs on display everytime you moved. And your long manicured nails, he's sure that they would look beautiful running through his nape and back.

Mingyu slaps himself twice on both the cheeks, he takes a cold shower.

But he's just a man afterall, so when sees you standing in front of the dressing table in his shirt and shorts he breath hitches and he gasps. Loud enough to catch your attention. As you look at him, he looks at your collarbones peaking out because his shirt is too loose on you.

And before you could say anything he's already laying on the bed hurriedly facing away, pulling over the covers to hide the re-emerging boner.

You follow his actions, laying beside him but facing his back. You wonder if you should sleep at the guestroom because your husband is still mad at you. And his actions are clearly saying so as the person who can't sleep without hugging is maintaining the distance, not bothering to even face you, like he has been doing for the past days.

With a heavy sigh, you tell him, "I'll sleep in the guestroom. We can talk when you feel like you can bear to look at me again."

Just as you turn on your back to get up, you're being held back and within a span of seconds your husband is hovering on top of you.

"I'm sorry, I can't control myself anymore."

And admitting that he crashes his lips onto yours. You gasp grabbing his arms before sighing into the kiss. Mingyu sucks onto your lips pacing them slower now. His hand roams up to rest on your neck, gently rubbing along the column, the sensation of his touch eliciting another gasp out of you.

His tongue enters your mouth and it's lewd in the way they slotting perfectly on each other. His mouth descends to press kisses on your chin and collarbones.

The one time he detaches his mouth off you to unbotton your (his) shirt, you're tapping on his forearm. His gaze follows your hands which are now covering your eyes.

There's a bit of silence. Mingyu wonders if he's forcing himself on you, without your consent and with the thought just as he prepares himself to get off, you say something that wracks his head.

"This will be my first time. I've never been touched before.", you say shakily, evidently embarassed enough to not uncover your eyes until Mingyu does so.

Though Mingyu has his mind too clouded to be pondering over anything but the first question he asks with those eyes now turned soft, after urging you to look at him is, "Do you want to do this? Is it okay for me to proceed? Tell me if you want me to stop."

"Please don't stop.", you breathe out immediately averting your gaze which causes you to miss the smile your husband directs at you before placing his hand under your head to raise it swiftly to kiss you.

"I'll make it worth, Y/N. I'll make you feel good.", he whispers in between the kisses.

You lay naked, all bared out under him as after spanning enough attention to your boobs, Mingyu shifts all his focus on your wet, leaking core.

"Gonna prep you first", he says in his husky voice, "and let me know if you want me to stop."

His tongue laps a long stripe against your cunt and you grip the sheet underneath desperately to hold onto. He keeps tonguing your cunt, holding your legs apart as they try to close off, his nose bumping against your clit making it impossible to hold your moans anymore.

You are squirming under the mercy of yoYir husband and his tongue. There's a knot tightening in the pit of your stomach and you could do nothing, not even speak out any coherent sentences.

"Cum for me, Y/N.", Mingyu urges you and that's the push you need before pouring out the juices all over his face. You're catching breathes when sensitivity hits you as your husband licks you clean off the juices.

You are biting down on your arm when Mingyu decides to prep you a bit further by scissoring his long fingers in your hole until it's oozing out for the second time.

Mingyu presses a soft kiss on your forehead before scurrying away for a few seconds and coming back holding a bunch of condoms in his hands.

"You had those?", you ask propping yourself on your elbows, genuinely amused.

Mingyu cocks his brow, "Not sure who it was but one of the guys has kept them in the drawer at one of the times they visited."

He climbs on the bed, straddling over you as he tears the wrapper with his teeth and rolls up a couple of condoms up his girth, "I didn't even know until all of them sent the same picture in the group chat."

You nod in silence, looking at his big veiny cock and it's red tip that's leaking precum, wondering if it's gonna even fit inside of you.

Mingyu hovers over you, pressing another soft kiss on your forehead.

"It's gonna hurt a bit at start but it's gonna feel good, okay?"

You nod again letting Mingyu hold your hands over your head, intertwining the fingers. He slowly pushes his length and sensing your ragged breathing he stills for sometime before continuing until he hilts all the way inside.

Tears roll down, as you try to adjust and your husband does nothing but kiss you softly trying to soothe you, divert your mind from the pain.

"Let me know when you want me to move."

He waits patiently and once you ask him to move, he thrusts ever so slowly, his lips never leaving yours.

"Gyu, faster please.", you say breaking the kiss.

And who is your husband to deny your wishes. He picks up his pace steadily thrusting in and out, as both of your moans fill the room.

Mingyu fiddles with your nipples by taking them into his mouth while his fingers rub your clit at a fast pace.

You're too dumbified by the way your body is reacting. Your legs are shaking, your stomach is pitting a knot again, your hands are gripping onto your husband for dear life and you swear you're seeing stars.

"Y/N?", Mingyu calls you out, seeing your dazed vision, "Are you okay?"

Your reply comes as another moan as your nails dig crescent shapes onto his back deeper, running through the back of his neck, grabbing onto the hair on the nape.

"Can you hold on for a bit more?", he coaxes you once he realises your gummy walls are clenching harder around his cock, "Let's cum together, can you do that for me right?"

Mingyu looks at the juncture where the bodies are meeting, where your cunt is swallowing him wholly. He groans at the sight of white foamy ring around his cock and kisses you hard making you squeak into his mouth.

"Let it go, Y/N.", he encourages you, his calloused fingers now rubbing your sides as his thrusts turn sloppy, "Cum for me."

Both of you are catching breathes. You lay eyes closed, not feeling your body at all. Mingyu lies looking at you, admiration laced in his eyes, his heart doing dibs thinking about how you trusted him enough to give your firsts to him. He realises that unlike him, you're not vocal so he has to focus on your body language to understand your needs. He also makes his mind to have a conversation with you like a descent person in the morning but before that--

"You need to pee.", he tells discarding the condom in the bin and while you groan he continues, "And we need to wash up. I'll run the bath, clean us up and change the sheets so please don't fall asleep till then."

You are incapable of registering his words so you just let him do whatever he wants to do with you.

Late in the morning, the conversation gets shelved until evening because Mingyu fucks you again because he is insatiable and so are you. Well, you both end up being each other's breakfast in bed.

It's the day, you dread the most. It was the same day sixteen years ago when you lost your family. It's your birthday.

If only you hadn't thrown a tantrum about not wanting to celebrate the day at home as it had been done for all the years. Birthdays had always been a great deal to you. You wanted the celebration to be a bit grander which led all to unanimously decide to go the soaring picnic spot, inviting all your friends as well. Uncle being your favourite person, the rest of the family drove the to venue as it was an hour drive away a little earlier to set up things while you and your uncle drove in a van along with all your friends.

But instead of the picnic spot, you ended up in the hospital with your uncle identifying the bodies. The collision of two vehicles were severe enough to claim the lives of all present in them.

Though your uncle had never expressed anything as such but you know you are to blame for everything. You wondered if seeing you was even bearable to him. The guilt and regret changed you whole as a person. After the incident you distanced yourself from everything, everyone.

Birthdays mean nothing to you now. Unlike for other workers, no one receives your birthday mail as you have requested to the officials. No one knows, no one asks, no one cares and that's perfect for you.

It's been a long day, with you driving successive review and checkpoint meetings. One of the rare days where you want nothing but to fall to the comfort of your bed.

Just as you enter the house, you see a string a shoes lined one after another. You enter the hallway and come across the faces of your in-laws, your husband, his friends and your uncle.

Gatherings on any other day is always welcomed but not today. You have this look of disapproval on your face and the entire flock of people freeze. Without a word, you disappear into your room and it's about half an hour when you don't come out, Mingyu assures everyone and goes into the room.

"What are they doing here?", you ask as soon as he enters.

"Why? Are they not allowed to visit us?"

You glare at him, "They are. But why today? And you always inform me beforehand if anyone is coming so why's there an exception today?"

Mingyu sighs but walks upto you, "Y/N, they're just here to spend sometime with us. But if you want then I'll tell them to leave and trust me they'll leave instantly."

"Tell them to leave then. I don't want to entertain anyone today.", you say stoicly.

Mingyu nods, "All of them have brought something they've cooked for you. Hansol cooks occasionally and almost burnt his house but he came in so proud, bragging how he was able to cook something for you that's edible. And oh", he raises his finger plastered with a bandaid, "I've got a cut while chopping the vegetables. So are you gonna atleast eat them or should I tell them to take those back as well?"

There's a pang in your heart, it's constricts within your chest. Your eyes glistens with tears, the resolute within you starts to dissolve but you could never afford to do so. You don't deserve to be celebrated.

"It's the death anniversary of the people I love.", you say helplessly, "I don't remember them vividly, each year the memories of them are fading away. I can't bear to look at uncle without feeling guilty. He lost his son, his wife, his brother all because I wanted to celebrate a stupid birthday."

You are sobbing now and Mingyu holds you in his arms, letting his own tears fall. He hates that there's nothing he could provide to soothe you.

"There are so many words on the tip of my tongue but they're all meaningless.", he says and bites on his tongue to stop those tears from spilling, "I'm sorry but I won't let you wallow in sadness, I won't leave you all by yourself."

After staying quiet in his embrace, you tell him, "People are waiting for you, you should go. I'll be fine, I'm used to this."

Mingyu pulls away and holds your face gently, "Do you trust me?"

Your eyes say a lot, even if you hadn't given a nod, your husband would've known the answer.

"Then let's go and spend time with them.", Mingyu coaxes you, "They wouldn't do anything to make you uncomfortable, if they do, I'll send them back."

You ponder over for sometime. Past years have always been the same, you wanting the day to pass by anyhow. You've preferred to be alone but you think you'd make an exception for your husband and all those people who are waiting for you outside knowing they genuinely care for you.

When you both step out of the room, you could see the worried faces and it makes you feel bad.

"We're are really sorry for barging in.", Seokmin breaks the silence as he stands up and following his suite everyone does so well, "We'll get going."

And there's a lot of shuffling. Everyone is off their seats and packing the stuffs when you decide to interrupt.

"I'm hungry", you say everyone halt, "And I'm bored of eating his cooking.", you point at your husband who gasp in offence but smiles nonetheless.

And that's how the dinner table was set with everyone sitting together eating and chatting happily. No one wishes you birthday, none of them have bought you gifts and it does seem like another normal gathering except for the subtle wishes of wellbeing they launch softly at you.

"You are beautiful, Y/N, inside out.", Minhee says as she secures the seat beside you, "I hope to see you healthy and beautiful always."

Sometime later, when the topic of work is brought up, Soonyoung slickly tells, "Y/N is handling such a big project.", and looking at you he speaks with a mouthful, "I know it'll be a huge success. Hope we get to see you achieve many more milestones in your career."

And throughout the dinner you recieve such praises and wishes from every single one of them. You didn't want to send them off but you had to with a heavy heart. First time, in several years you feel like you have a family, you want to hold onto people, want to expect certain things and be a part of them.

First time in several years, your birthday didn't haunt you rather it gave you a reason to smile.

Lying the bed, tired after a long day when you feel an arm drape around your waist, you turn to face your husband, snuggling closer in the comfort of his embrace when he opens his arms for you.

His eyes droop in sleepiness but he strokes your hair saying, "I wish you to be happy.", smiling sheepishly he adds, "Thanks for trusting me."

And when you watch your husband drift off to sleep, stroking his hair with a hesitant hand, you whisper, "Thanks for tolerating me."

Your relationship with Mingyu progresses steady but it's beautiful in it's own way. To you, Mingyu hasn't only been a good husband, he has been a great companion. He takes care of you, knows your limits and shortcomings, never makes you feel weirded out and makes sure to sort things out to be on the same page.

Your calendar previously which had only meeting dates marked on them are now filled with many more events such as your anniversary, Mingyu's birthday, Minhee's birthday, your uncle's birthday, your in-laws' anniversary etc etc. A smile appears on your face when you reminisce how late you were to your second anniversary party and how pissed Mingyu was at you, avoiding you the whole night until after the party was over and you had stripped yourself naked in front of him which worked to dissolve his anger as you let him fuck you dumb till the dawn.

You have a best friend now and her name is Minhee. You've always liked her and over the years you two have grown closer. Mingyu's friends, well more of yours, are not scared of you anymore, they've dropped all the formalities to pit long ago.

Junhui shares every funny thing he sees on the internet, on appointment days he rants to you about patients and work. Soonyoung now shares table with you during lunch and eat your ears off. Seokmin calls you randomly during work and if you don't pick up, he just sends you a candid picture of your husband with a caption 'thought you'd be missing him, so here's your husband. Don't thank me, just name one of your gaming character after me.'

Hansol is the most random of all, he just pings you any fact he learned out of the blue without any context. Sometimes when on asking when you confirm that you're free he sends you a bunch of pics telling you to choose the best among the lot. Jeonghan is the quietest among all, he'd only talk to you during the gatherings.

You have started calling Mingyu's parents as what Mingyu calls them because you are comfortable to call them so. They've blended into your life making you feel as their own. These changes in your life have helped you bond better with your uncle as well.

It's been over two years and you think you're happy. You think your married life is perfect and you're in love with certain things.

You love the back hugs, love those forehead kisses, love the smell of coffee that hits the house in the morning, love the way his mouth opens and closes in sleep, love when the fangs graze his lips as he smiles wide, love when his hand sneaks to wrap around yours on a busy road.

You're in love.

In love with your husband because how could you not, he's so easy to love. Though you feel there's still a lot you both need to discover about each other, you hope he'd also love you one day. He's your first love after all.

You are in the middle of a meeting when your phone keeps vibrating continuously. Trying to ignore it, your brows knit in agitation but that soon turns into worry when you check the caller ID. It's Minhee. Excusing yourself, you call her back.

And now after a drive of an hour you find yourself in front of the park, near her apartment.

"It's okay, I'm here now.", you say patting on Minhee's back, "Once you feel better, tell me everything."

And after some moments Minhee does relay everything. There's a thug-like guy who has started visiting the café she regulars at because somehow Minhee has piqued his interest. Even though she didn't notice at first, it started to strike her that she has been seeing a face almost everywhere she visits.

He has been following her to and back from the school she teaches in. He's been bold enough to get in the way and ask her to sleep with him for a night, if she wants to stop getting bothered by him.

Minhee has had enough to slap him straight across his face, even threatening to report him to the police. And that seemed to work because he didn't appear before her for a whole week until today.

As she describes it terrified, he had an ominous gaze, when he had given her an ultimatum to be compliant or be ready for the worse.

"I was so shocked and scared. I could only think about calling you. If Gyu knows about this he'd kill that guy even before police knows about him and would never let me work here. I don't want that.", Minhee says, "I am planning to go to the police today."

"You're so brave", you tell her as your gaze sweeps across the surrounding, "Let's deal with that guy now. Is it that guy standing over there?"

And Minhee now ponders over if it would have been safer to call her brother because the stalker guy, all bruised from the beating he got from you is kneeling in front of you both with hands up in air.

You've called the police and as soon as they arrive, that guy is mumbling confessions of all the harassment he did and tried to perform on Minhee.

"Did I tell you, I'm trained in taekwondo?", you ask her frowning, "Uncle also made me take specialization classes on self defence.", you suddenly hiss because of the bruises inflicted on you during the hassle and look at her.

Minhee engulfs you in a hug, "Thank you so much. You're a lifesaver."

Your lips curl up and you say pulling away, "Let's go to the station and complete the formalities and then we'll have to inform Mingyu and mom & dad as well."

Minhee hesitates but she knows she'll eventually have to so.

"Let's do that.", she agrees, "I have something else to tell you."

Your brows quirk up questioning as you both head towards your car.

"I have developed a liking towards Soonyoung.", she smiles looking at your flabbergasted demeanor, "No ones knows except you and him."

You swear, your head spins at this.

And as if she could read your mind, she adds, "I don't know how he feels but he said he'd never date me because I'm his friend's sister and that's against bro code."

You scoff, how typical of Soonyoung.

When Mingyu stumbles upon his sister's apartment that night, he finds her sleeping peacefully in her room. And when he goes searching for you, he finds you in the bathroom clutching the slab. Your eyes are red, forehead glistening with sweat.

"Oh god, Y/N...", Mingyu rushes inside as the door was open and holds you up on your feet, "what happened?"

"Stop shouting, you'll wake her up.", you say groaning, "and why do you care anyways?"

Right, you both rarely fought but when you did it would go on for days, like now. It started with a simple matter but escalated real quick causing Mingyu to lash out on you and give you a silent treatment. You tried to talk to him twice, which was more than you think you have done but were met with radio silence. He went as far as being petty enough to not even wait for you at dinner table or sleep facing you. And that's how you decided to shut him out as well. It's been a week since you both talked.

As Mingyu holds your waist to support you, you cry out in pain. You tried to resist but when he glares at you, you give up. He unbottons your top and his eyes almost gauze out on seeing the cut on your waist.

"How did it happen?", he sits you on the counter and pulls out the first aid box.

You stay quiet.

"Y/N, I'm asking something.", he uses an authoritative tone, looking at you.

"I thought we are not talking.", you snark at him but gasp when he dabs the cotton with antiseptic gel on the cut. He does several other sorts of things which makes you think he's a trained nurse before pasting the adhesive.

"Y/N, please.", he gets up and holds your face, "I know I have been an asshole and I'll keep apologizing to you until you forgive me. But please tell me are you hurt anywhere else? Did that bastard do this to you?"

You sigh and peel his hands off your face, "Yes, he was swinging his knife at me so while tackling him, I got that wound. And I got some bruises but Minhee treated those, didn't want to worry her so hid this one. You should be worried about Minhee. I'm fine."

Mingyu looks at you with so much admiration. His heart swells within his chest when he thinks about how you saved his sister and handled the situation well while he was being a jerk to you.

"The first thing Minhee asked on calling me was how did I manage to marry someone as amazing as you. That I should have seen you, you were looking like a superhero fighting off the evil.", he smiles pinching the bridge of your nose.

You bite your lower lip, your brows crease and Mingyu instantly deflates noticing the obvious signs.

"Are you on your periods?", he asks concerned.

"The cramps are killing me."

"You should have told me sooner.", he immediately lifts you up and takes you to the guestroom and lays you on the bed, "I think I know what all things Minhee uses for her cramps and where they are kept. I'll be back."

"I was supposed to sleep with Minhee tonight.", you say frowning.

"No, you're sleeping with me", he smiles, crouching to peck your forehead, "Minhee rotates around the bed all night in sleep. Doesn't matter though, I won't be letting you out of my sight."

And while he spends the whole night making sure you get a good sleep, in the morning he makes you apply for sick leave. He scolds Minhee for not calling him sooner as it could have been dangerous for you both but in turn gets scolded by you.

He doesn't take his car, rather drives your car back home because you were scheming on sending him away first, not wanting to go with him. He sulks throughout the way back because when he leans in to you, in the guise of helping you putting on the seatbelt just to give a kiss, you slap a hand over his mouth. But that doesn't stop him from not letting you go to your office room the whole day and spend the time in taking rest.

It's an important day for you. It's a success party of the new game launch and playing the key role in leading back to back projects you're going to get felicitated at the party by the director herself.

You have informed Mingyu beforehand and he has promised to reach the venue before time, also squealing for days on about how he'd capture everything and show others, that how proud he is of his wife.

Your eyes boringly scan through the crowd, waiting for your husband.

"How am I looking?", Soonyoung's voice startles you.

As he takes a seat beside you, you tell him, "As usual. Are you supposed to not look like a human but something else?"

He scowls, "Wow, you're really doing this to me."

He brings over a glass of wine from the waiter who was passing and says, "I heard there have been some changes in the management and they'll be announcing it today."

You take a candy from the bowl kept on the table, "I'll be reporting to someone who has joined the company recently. My previous boss is gonna take over the strategy planning unit."

Soonyoung laughs, "There are rumours about him being eccentric."

"Let him be anything, I don't care as long as it doesn't hinder my work.", you tell him, eating the candy and checking your phone, "They're gonna start soon. Any idea when your dear friend is gonna arrive?"

"He was supposed to leave from work early", he tells you, "Don't worry he's punctual."

Mingyu curses when he checks the time. He's late.

"Min, I think you should leave as soon as possible.", Seokmin says as he helps him pack his bag, "You'll go home, get changed and then leave for the venue, right? You're running late by almost an hour already."

Mingyu is hot on his heels as he hurriedly takes his bag and rushes out of his cabin.

"Be careful!", Seokmin yells seeing Mingyu's fleeting demeanor, knowing how clumsy he can be and as he takes the keys to lock the cabin as requested by his friend his gaze falls on the USB drive which he knows Mingyu would need to work on some presentation.

Seokmin rushes to catch him so that he can give him the USB just in time. As he punches out his employee card, he sighs in relief as he recognises Mingyu standing still just outside the main door.

He pushes through the door and is just about to call him, something catches his eyes from the periphery of vision.

Just like Mingyu, Seokmin freezes on spot.

Because it is Sora who's standing in front of them.

Seokmin doesn't know what or if they had any conversation prior to his arrival but he grabs Mingyu's arm when he sees Sora open her car door and his friend heading in the se direction.

"Min, don't go.", he speaks the next part in louder tone, "your wife is waiting for you."

"I know what I'm doing, Min.", Mingyu frees his arm, "Trust me on this."

Seokmin watches helplessly as the car drives off to who knows where.

You are dejected. Even when recieving the award your eyes kept scanning the crowd just in hopes of seeing your husband's face. And still now doing so you keep on checking your phone, too upset to call or text him.

"I'll call him after they make the announcement.", Soonyoung says equally upset, "I'm sure something really urgent came up otherwise he'd have not missed it."

Everyone is asked to stand near the stage where they announce the key changes in management.

You are shocked when you hear a certain name being announced, see a certain figure taking the centre of the stage.

Xu Minghao is going to be your boss tomorrow onwards.

Minghao seems to have taken notice of you as his smile widens, his gaze locking on you.

Soonyoung has noticed the change in your demeanor, has followed the gaze of Minghao. He observes quietly before motioning you to come with him to a quieter place.

He then calls Mingyu putting his phone on speaker who doesn't pick up. There's an uneasy feeling settling at your chest and hope that your husband is fine wherever he is.

Soonyoung then calls Seokmin and regrets putting the phone on speaker because you hear what he says.

"Mingyu left with Sora and I can't reach him."

Your heart sinks because even though no one has ever talked to you about her, you know that name very well. Your husband's ex girlfriend whom he to marry.

"Trouble in paradise?"

Both you and Soonyoong turn to see Minghao standing, his gentle gaze bestowing upon you.

You decide to forget any other thoughts and wear a tight lipped smile, "Been a long time, Hao."

→ Do not copy, re-post, translate, or share any of my works on other platforms! All stories are copyrighted, joonsytip.

[spitdrunken]

I’ve been thinking about winter king a lot… all of this is essentially an excuse to ramble about some thoughts ive had about him, so don’t think too hard about how reader/you ended up in his universe, there's no reason haha notes: manipulative behaviour, unhealthy relationship.

A person can only withstand so much time with only the company of creatures they made themselves. Winter King is no different. He hadn't noticed it at first, the fact that every word out of his subjects' mouths is predictable, and that their one personality traits was dedication. Back then, he'd been caught up in the thrill of a life without madness, too lost in the mind that could hold coherent thoughts. (The price that had been paid for that change had not been his to pay.)

But, with time, a loneliness- Well, not a loneliness. No, that is a pathetic word, that belongs with the pathetic past self of his that he's shed by now. Let's call it a boredom that settled over him. One that made him allow Candy Queen to kidnap him over and over again, despite the fact he could easily defeat her. At least around her, there was unpredictability, and a semblance of a conversation to be had. As incoherent as it was, it was close to a human conversation. An odd thing it is, for that word to pop into his mind now. She has never been human, and he has long ceased to be one.

What use is it being this charming, this handsome, when there's nobody around with enough brain cells to admire it? He'd never been popular as the Ice King, understandably so, he'll admit, but nothing has changed since. Not even now that he is the ruler of a prosperous kingdom of his own, one that he has spent countless years meticulously perfecting. It really is a pity. With the Winter Kingdom avoided by everyone except by its inhabitants, he might as well just start kissing himself at this point. By the time that thought starts to seem viable, he is lucky enough that a change does occur.

Imagine his surprise, his utter delight, when someone new wanders into his kingdom! Entirely unfamiliar with him or his story, even this world, and oh-so completely lost. It's perfect! Whatever he tells you, you'll just have to believe, with nothing else to compare it to. You're so clearly human, too. It's been forever since he last saw one up close. ...Well, an adult, at least. He can't deny the fact that the scientist inside him is curious about how in God's name you'd ended up here, but that is of lesser importance to him. He's gotten exactly what he wanted: a companion! He'll put his charms to the test, and ensure that the thought of leaving his Winter Kingdom never crosses your mind again. How could your home ever be better than his?

With the promise of trying to find you a way home, he offers you a place to stay. The world out there is dangerous, you know! But even if he had genuinely wanted to help you out, crossing dimensions is, as of now, outside the realm of his abilities. Winter King quickly comes to the conclusion that you're just plain cute. It's delightful how easily impressed you are, and it's clear that whatever world you're from, magic is not a part of it. Things that, to him, are as simple as breathing, pull a response from you.

The first time he showed his powers in front of you, creating ice by freezing the moisture in the air, and moulding it together into a chair for you to sit on, you'd responded with awe. He couldn't possibly keep himself from laughing at that! Ah, sorry, dear, he really means no harm- But why did you think he was called the Winter King, hm? He loves it, though, really. You are perhaps stroking his ego a bit too much through all of this. It makes him stand just a bit straighter, puff his chest out a bit more, and thinks: yes, taking you in really was no mistake at all.

He puts the charm on thick. Now that has the opportunity, he wants to try his best to really swoop someone off of their feet. He'll compliment your personality and appearance any chance he gets, and especially enjoys it if you are easily flustered. (Though if you aren't, a part of him would enjoy more of a challenge as well.) As soon as he knows you're embarrassed, he'd put his hands on your cheeks to help you 'cool off.' ("Ha, ha! Oh, dear, you're going to melt my hands off at this rate!)

He'll order his servants to obey your every desire. As long as it doesn't conflict with his own, that is. There's a lot of things to get used to in the Winter Kingdom, and he'll even linger around you as you get the hang out of skating around the palace. With a snap of his fingers, he'll create ridges and bumps on the floors, only to catch you as you inevitably fall. Winter King is not above some... Well, lying sounds a lot worse than it is. Twisting of the truth? In his attempts to woo you. As long as you don't find out, there'd be no harm in it.

This aspect of him becomes most obvious in the way he handles the subject of the Candy Queen. She becomes merely another actress on the stage for him to use in the process of courting you. He'll warn you, of course, that there is an utterly mad woman, a nuisance, who is completely obsessed with him. As she's constantly following him around, she'll likely find out about your presence soon, too. And, against his will, he knows her well enough at this point to know that she won't be happy, ha! You'd best stay close to him, so he can keep you safe. With the type of special relationship the two of you have, she is bound to get jealous, dear! He doesn’t mind if he were to kidnap him, it has happened before, but if she were to hurt you, oh…!

He really thinks that was a wonderful performance of this. Oh, of course there were grains of truth in there! If you'd actually gotten hurt, if you were actually taken away from him, he doesn't know what he'd do- But he knows Candy Queen's whims and shenanigans well enough to know to avoid such a thing. He will keep you safe, he promised, but what better way to heighten your opinion of him even further, than through saving you from the clutches of danger? So, yes, he will let you get kidnapped once or twice by her on purpose, knowing full and well that Candy Queen was only doing so in order to draw him out. In achieving that goal, it would always be successful. As long as he always ensures he gets you back safe and sound, where's the harm in it? When you inevitably fall for him, and you can spend a happy life together, was anything he's done truly bad?

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

To Catch A Falling Star (Idia Shroud x Reader)

Inspired by a scene from Criminal Minds

Masterlist

Reader is intended to be female

If Idia had to describe you in one word it was unexpected.

He still remembers the day he met the magicless prefect who appeared out of nowhere in a fiery blaze of glory like some leveled up shounen protagonist about to fight the final boss, how Ortho had directed you into his room before he could stop him. And instead of being repulsed by the many, many posters, figurines and merch he had scattered around his room, you were in fact…elated?

“You’re an otaku as well?” you beamed at him, your starry-eyed gaze of awe rendering him speechless before he flinches as you yell, pumping your fists in the air, “Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!”

Yeah, he does not have the energy to unpack that.

Anyway, he never expected you to appear in his world, and he never expected to find himself comfortable with you, his new gaming buddy and fellow animanga enthusiast. You never judge him for his tastes or his behaviour or less than ideal personality. You were someone he could genuinely call a friend andabsolutelynothingmoreOrthoIloveyoubutpleasebequiet.

And having you around a lot, both because of you just barging into his room or by Ortho’s multitude of invites, just felt natural, your chatter being something that he could call soothing. Which is how he found himself absolutely dominating his current multiplayer playthrough with you doing your own thing by his side.

After his team had won the game, he turned to you, ready to receive your subsequent praise, only to find that your attention was diverted towards a wooden toy thing, your face scrunched up in concentration as your fingers fiddled with its many vertices.

“What are you doing?” he asked and you paused your twiddling, looking up at him. 

“Oh I got this star puzzle in Sam’s shop earlier. It reminded me a lot of this thing we have back in my world so I thought that I’d try it out,” you look back down and resume playing with it, “it’s practically impossible to figure out. You’ve got to put all of these pieces together to form a perfect star. It’s a bit of a headache really but it’s got a really sweet backstory.”

“So that thing’s got lore?” Idia raised his eyebrows and held out his hand. You gently toss it into his open palm.

“Well, you see it’s this romantic story where a young prince wanted to win the heart of the fairest maiden in the land, so he climbed up to the top of the tallest tower in the kingdom and caught a falling star for her. But, since he was so excited to give it to her, he dropped it and it smashed into all of these small pieces. So he frantically put it back together again to prove his undying love to her and he succeeded and they lived happily ever after.”

“What a load of normie nonsense,” Idia scoffed.

“Excuse me?!”

“You can’t catch a falling star,” he deadpanned, “it would burn up in the atmosphere.”

“Really?” you ask, unimpressed, “you live in a world that has flying broomsticks and magic mirrors and plants that can yell loud enough to kill someone - I really don’t think you can argue about the concept of reality when there are children here who are capable of breaking the laws of physics on the regular.”

“But still, it’s stupid,” he grumbles, “why does catching a star make you a shoujo manga male lead.”

“It’s romantic,” you argue, “he loves her so much that he would do the impossible for her. Besides, the point is that it’s impossible to do because you have to take all of these pieces and fit them exactly into the shape of a -”

You trail off, dumbfounded, when Idia smugly presents to you the completed puzzle, a small brown star sitting idly in his hand. 

“You were saying,” he smirked at your flabbergasted expression, preening slightly when it shifted to annoyed, “it doesn’t seem all that hard to me.”

“Why do you have to be like this,” you lamented, pouting as you grumbled about ‘high and mighty otakus who think they’re so cool just because they’ve beaten you in every one-v-one you’ve played’.

“Just take the L,” he said, not without a hint of condescension, as he turned back to his screen. Thankfully you were too busy wallowing to notice the magenta glowing along the edges of his hair. Why do you have to be so cute? You’re dangerous, you know.

Yeah, you’re a pretty unpredictable person. But that doesn’t mean that he can’t pull any epic gamer moves of his own.

[iveriee]

hiii!! how are you lovely? id like to request a tom riddle x soft!hufflepuff reader? reader has seen him as her best friend since first year but then she over hears him talking about how he does not care for her :( so now he just wonders why she’s no longer “clingy” or sweet to him. hurt&comfort, angsty ish, i just want a grovelling riddle 🫠🫠

★;ANSWER: Of course! I'm doing well, Thank you for asking. I apologise if this is not to your liking.

★;CATEGORY: Angst.

★;PAIRING: Tom Riddle x Gn!Hufflepuff!Reader

★;SUMMARY: in which.. he repents his actions.

★;PS: This fic contains severe mentions of toxicity and a slight implication of death and violence. If anything of the sort makes you disheartened, then i would suggest you not to read this. As I mentioned, I have been quite stressed due to my examinations and Henceforth the quality of this fic may be a bit lower than expected. I attempt my very best to improve my writing. Once again, English is NOT my first language and hence, feel free to correct any grammatical incorrections. Writing non-yandere fics is quite strange for me and i apologise if I have accidentally made him into a yandere. I'm aware you mentioned a Fem!Reader, however I'll be doing a Gn!reader as to be more inclusive!Of course I had to use 'perhaps', 'henceforth' and 'quite'. And of course, i had to make Abraxas Malfoy an utter jerk.as it's a headcanon of mine that the Malfoys are all jerks.

Perhaps they presume us not to cling to others—to adhere to the cinders of a strained candle, of a relationship that ceased to live. To cater to it's ghost, it's bones. With one ray of aspiration, that the other would return. Yet you did. You had ever since that day. That evocative day in the Great Hall. That day when you ventured to befriend Riddle. That day when you shelved your sorrow as if it was a gruelling test you so utterly detested. And perhaps, you always would do so. Whether it was inadequate or purposeful, you paid heed to him. For six years, you had done so now. Yet none of your amiability ushered reciprocation from him. None. You'd praise his talents. You'd jest with him. You'd attempt to find solace in his ignorance. Of course, that was, not possible. You were human after all. Perhaps, it was due to you being a Hufflepuff? Perhaps it was as he did not how to convey his feelings? Perhaps, you utterly and desperately desired to invent an excuse for his behaviour.

And Henceforth, one abominable day, when your potion transformed indictable, far off the path of the accurate instructions—You tilted your gaze downwards. The mortification was quite too much for you. The air smeared you, resulting in quivering. A mere reach for your quill felt like a distinguished task. To mix lumber to the fire, An awful act happened. Which, of course, had to include him. Prying your ears, you examined. To distinguish the start, Riddle was frowning at the sight of your dismay(perhaps, not your dismay..).. If you had, perhaps, attempted to tell anyone that, they'd blaze into laughter. Of course, he did not look any less appealing, even whilst frowning. (If you knew the correct reasoning, that is)

However, of course, somebody had to destroy such a thing and that git was indeed Abraxas Malfoy. Perhaps, he ought to diminish the tension. And Henceforth Malfoy cast a repulsed look...at you..perhaps? "[Last Name] is a scatterbrain." He spoke to Riddle. "I think you're acquainted with them, My lord?" Imbecile you concluded to yourself, scowling. Yet the act that cast the most anticipation was Riddle's response. Your heart blazed. Sweat grazed your cheeks. Would, he, perhaps, come to your defence? It was juvenile,a foolish reassurance, the concluding luminosity of your life. Perhaps he cared. The mere wonder of it made you smile. (albeit somewhat slight)

If Tom concealed his feelings, then, perhaps he was quite proficient at it because his thoughts were utterly and completely inscrutable. Your frame began quivering. You steadied your gaze and examined him, with a surge of internal reassurance. "If that is,perhaps, what you believe to be true, then I must say, I do not care for [Last Name] and nor do i have no intention of paying heed to them." He stated firmly, causing Malfoy to flinch. "They are merely a classmate and a stranger to me."

Engulfed. That was the stature of your luminosity. Engulfed by him and the vicious wave that was sorrow(certainly a wave you'd never get over of). Tears plunged your cheeks before you could make of it and your lips closed on eachother. Restraining your palm against your mouth, you quivered. No, this had to have been another formidable nightmare of yours—it had to have been. He could not have been so...cruel. He had to have considered you as an acquaintance, at the very least . You loved him. You indeed did. With all your heart. Ever since the day you first gazed upon him. And yet, this was the conclusion, the answer to your persistent affection? You had splurged years in the aspiration that he'd...care. You were, sincerely and utterly pitiable. Life was an anguished tale. And, of course, you were the one having to suffer it.

And henceforth, this very abominable day, you quit your attempts to gain heed and he began his.

[★]

Perhaps nobody at Hogwarts with an orderly mind would have ever believed that Tom Riddle yearned after a mere Hufflepuff . Neither would the Hufflepuff in interrogation. Of course, he displayed no clues of mourning. On the budding days, he discovered no need for your juvenile affection. It was otherworldly to even wonder that he would require you. You brought no assistance to him and he regarded you as a 'mere nuisance.' Yet as herbage mutated copper—honed and gnawing, plunging onto the vicious month of October, The Hogwarts castle glinted with eerie ginger and blazing green, the act of ignorance from you towards him became...perplexing.. to say the very least.

It felt vacant. He felt vacant. As much as Riddle cherished his pride, He was almost wounded by your actions.You no longer bothered to praise him tenderly or adhere onto him. You no longer attempted to even gaze at him. However, as he had reassured himself quite alot of times, he had no requirement for you. And so henceforth, he persisted with life, excelling and being applauded like every other common day. Yet, you cannot merely plunge sorrow by detaining it. And perhaps, it shall make the matters worse when it rises, sizzling up to the surface to swamp you.

That sorrow certainly rose early.

And assisted with a broth of envy and guilt.(though, of course, he would never admit so) You had, at last—created proper friendships with amiable people, unlike, a very certain somebody whom you, precisely, despised now. To examine you speak to others, to see you content;considerate, sympathetic (Not with him, of course) slashed him with envy so utterly disdainful. In an instant's heed, He began to covet you, to crave you. He ought to have your affection once again. To possess your sweet, agreeable praise again. To have you clutch onto him. To fluster you, and—And perhaps, even kill to do so. Of course, the victims' identities were quite evident. Perhaps, it was merely amusement he required from you. Or perhaps, he may have, though quite unlikely, fallen in love.

And so henceforth, one agreeable day, when you had attempted to plod to the Black Lake—only to be approached by him. You felt satisfaction and hatred as you utterly refused to gaze at him.Your reasoning,being,the way he gazed upon you. You felt a rooting inclination to speak, yet, of course, you did not, allowing him to begin this clutter of a 'conversation'. (you could swear to Merlin that you had examined sorrow in his eyes!). The silence stirred distant. He spoke. "Greetings, [Name]." It felt as though you had, perhaps, heard the most astonishing wonder in the world. "I aspire that you are doing well?" You scowled at such a cloyed question. "I suppose i should get to the point, shouldn't it? Indeed, I would like to apologize for my behaviour. As you are aware Malfoy is—"

"An imbecile, yes." You responded curtly, frowning at the mere sight of him. He was,perhaps, too bewitching for you to be furious at. "Quit the Formalities, Riddle..."

"Is that so?" He questioned, inching quite near, smiling viciously. "In mere words, i would be honoured to rekindle our.. friendship." His smile diminished and his handsome face reeked of vulnerability. It was equivalent to viewing lime skies. Your heart ached to embrace him, to weep onto his chest, to allow him to comfort you—Yet, you could not fulfill it. You had dignity. And yet, you had love. Towards him. And perhaps, you always would. Tears boiled once more, and you gazed at him. He embraced you, and you had what you had so potently ached for. His hands cupped your cheeks as he smiled at you and you returned the act, though in tears. Joyful tears. Perhaps, he even shed a tear himself. (though unlikely). He pressed his lips onto yours and so did you. Profoundly. "Repentance, perhaps, inched us nearer, didn't it, love?"

[euripidestrousers]

What are your big wolfstar hc?

Ooh good question!

I tend to change my hcs based on the AU I'm writing, but i am not exaggerating when I say these little freaks are Always on My Mind so I have an ungodly amount of canon-themed hcs. Here we go:

- Remus is one of the only people Sirius cuts a fair amount of slack. Sirius has high standards and expectations of others but he has a huge Remus-shaped blind spot, so will find reasons to excuse Remus' sometimes shitty behaviour. He has heart shaped eyes for his gangly, sly, avoidant attachment style man.

- Remus sleeps like an absolute log, anywhere, anytime. Sirius has always been a light sleeper, wakes easily, and doesn't sleep much.

- They kept their casual fucking-turned relationship secret until well after graduating. The only ones who knew were James, Lily and Peter. Lily was the first one to figure it out because poor James had been in the trenches, so used to his friends' flirting that he didn't even clock it anymore. It brought Lily and Sirius together because he had someone to talk about it with, the first person he'd met who wasn't a casual homophobe about it, and was sympathetic.

- Second to this! James and Peter weren't always rainbow flag waving allies. They were teenage boys in the 70s - they'd drop casual homophobic comments all the time before finding out about their friends. Sirius joined in sometimes to hide it from James (he never cared what anyone else would think but he was secretly afraid of losing closeness with James), and Remus went very quiet whenever this happened. James was surprised at first when he found out but came around within minutes and apologised for being a thoughtless dick when he was younger.

- Peter most definitely used Remus and Sirius' tumultuous relationship against them. Remus was very avoidant about coming out and Sirius, while not his highest priority, resented having to hide. They bickered about it and Peter would often throw a spanner in to make their fighting worse.

- Sirius' hair is a good indicator of his mental health. While he's not vain he tends to keep it neat and out of the way when he's in a good place mentally. When he's fighting inner demons he lets it go and Remus knows this. He uses it as a Sirius-meter, and knows when it's starting to get long and unkempt to gently pry into what's going on with him.

- They do the crossword puzzles together most mornings (when Remus gets up in time)

- Sirius is fantastic at baking although he only did it once or twice for Lily's birthday (per her request). Remus is the cook for both of them, although when Sirius isn't there he sustains himself on tea, biscuits and deeply suppressed anxiety.

- Sirius is a singer when he's in a good mood. Remus adores coming home to hear his deep voice belting out a mix of muggle and wix songs because it means Sirius is in his happy place. Sirius is a serenader - it starts as a joke but there's a soft look in his eye when sings while he spins Remus around the kitchen. It's one of Remus' favourite Sirius-isms

- Sirius jokes about Remus' lycanthropy to make light of it. He can be a bit callous and insensitive about it at times, but his candour does make Remus feel less like a monster.

- They are god-awful at communicating as they're both rather private, skeptical people. While it's something they have in common and respect about each other, it makes for difficulties in a relationship.

- Sirius is a Nightmare when he's bored so Remus has a mental Rolodex of thought-provoking questions to stop him from wreaking havoc (or just being annoying). As soon as he sees the restlessness starting, he casually brings up that new law about to pass in the goblin senate, and how it might affect non-human creatures in the wizarding world. He still hasn't recovered from the time Sirius got bored and took apart his record player to see how it worked and he's not getting caught out again. This is also one of the reasons why Remus is in Sirius' top 3 favourite people - he always has something interesting to say and will happily debate for hours. Sirius is hardly ever bored around him.

- Neither of them are jealous lovers. Remus' self-worth is in the toilet, so if he sees someone flirting with Sirius he just feels miserable and spirals, thinking about how Sirius can do so much better than him. Sirius is a fiercely loyal person so he never flirts back and thinks Remus' self-image issues are ridiculous. On the odd occasion that someone flirts with Remus, Sirius rather enjoys it because a) it's ammunition for teasing and Remus will go bright red when he brings it up, and b) Watching Remus eventually realise he's being flirted with is prime entertainment - he fumbles and blushes so hard and almost takes out whoever's around in his haste to flee. It's priceless. Also - Sirius is extremely self-assured and knows his partner is hopelessly gone for him and would never cheat. Trust is extremely important to them both.

- Remus is extremely unpleasant around the full moon. He's got all sorts of aches and pains, has trouble sleeping properly, fatigue, and nausea issues. It makes him irritable and snappy. Sirius is incredibly patient with him and gives him space. He doesn't take Remus' mood to heart and occupies himself while Remus wallows. He's always there when Remus finally emerges from his misery to pitifully request a massage or a pain potion, and is uncharacteristically soft with him during the full moon period.

- Sirius. Cannot. Stand. the way Remus runs away from problems. It's his biggest pet peeve and it's a source of some of their biggest fights.

- Remus is mostly vanilla-aligned but is open to trying whatever new thing Sirius comes home with, smiling giddily and clutching a new toy or book with a spell he wants to try out. Occasionally Sirius will strike gold and find a kink Remus is wild for (ahem, praise kink), and is horribly smug about it

- Sirius is hopelessly gone for Remus' feigning innocence, lying through his teeth act. He doesn't understand it, but seeing Remus lie point blank to someone's face with those big, trustworthy brown eyes, sends him off-the chain, I-need-to-fuck-this-man-right-now-wild and he has no clue why. Remus is aware of this.

- They are mostly switchy but will go for months at a time with a preference for topping/bottoming. When Remus is feeling particularly insecure he tends to want to be fucked intimately, face-to-face, where he can see every twitch in Sirius' face, can catalogue the evidence of how much Sirius adores him. Sirius is just happy to be along for the ride because this way he can completely blanket Remus and grind slowly, swallowing every one of Remus' whimpers and broken moans as he fucks him slowly and thoroughly. Sirius can't get enough of taking him apart, finding his limits, anything that breaks Remus' finely tuned composure.

- Sirius is awful at apologies when they're younger. He has trouble admitting or even seeing his wrongs. After becoming an animagus he finds that it's much easier to apologise as Padfoot. After a fight he'll go for a rage-fuelled long walk or bike-ride, and cool down. When he's said or done something he regrets, he'll come home as Padfoot, tail drooping and wagging hopefully, big grey eyes fixed on Remus. He'll sidle up to him and just stare, wagging his tail. Remus knows exactly what he's doing but it's impossible to stay mad at him like this and he begrudgingly accepts that it's Sirius' way of apologising. It's not the healthiest communication tactic but they're not perfect. Once Sirius receives a begrudging head scratch, he changes back to his human form and acts like they never fought. It's annoyingly effective.

- Remus absolutely loathes flying on Sirius' motorbike. He begrudgingly admits it's hot to see Sirius dismounting, windswept, leather jacket donned, but god help him he'll do anything to avoid joining him on that death-trap. The only upside is that when he gets cajoled into riding, he can wrap around Sirius like a squid, burying his face in his back, and it's the only way it feels even slightly safe. Sirius secretly loves when Remus does this, and although he doesn't know what cute aggression is, it makes him want to squeeze Remus until his head pops off.

- Sirius is The Garbage Bin of the relationship. Oh you're not gonna finish your dinner? Pass it on over. Random assortment of treats Remus can't finish? Munches on them instead of meals. He often forgets to eat so he gets what he can when he can - ADHD eating style. Remus is the sick Victorian child, 'i can't eat too much dairy or I'll die'. Takes one bite of an apple and feels sick, Sirius, come get your snack, boy.

- Neither of them ever wanted kids but they both like children, which is a surprise to both of them. Given the chance, they are the Coolest Uncles, although Remus is cagey about their relationship and insists they're just best pals that live together until Harry is old enough to call bullshit, and Sirius just shrugs like 'yeah, he's weird about it. If you ask him about it he'll run away to Turkey. I'm working on it.'

Wowwww okay I have so many more but I have to stop somewhere. I hope you don't regret asking this question anon! You have opened Pandora's box

[moetartart]

So this is such a silly little rant but I have no where else to put it so here it is 😂 My very room temperature take.

Astarion gets a lot of hate for things Shadowheart is wubbified for.

I'd like to start by saying I love both charecters, I accept their flaws and that they can be evil. I love that for them. but I keep getting paragraphs written to me about how awful Astarion is and people really not liking my take that Shart is just as bad..

Shadowheart

.Not just pro torture but a pro AT torture which she brags about. No mind control needed (in the goblin camp and again she praises the doctor in the house of healing )

.Approves of lies and doing bad things

.is vein and narcissistic about her looks Tav-' your beautiful' Shart-'i know.'

.Will use and manipulate Tav (you get more than once insight check)

.Is racist (To the Gith mainly)

.Disapproves of you doing nice things -'that kind heart will get us all killed some day.' (Shadowheart disapproves)

.In her bad ending, even if you have done a fully good run and she has become a hero, she can still choose of her own free will to become a cult leader who abused others as she has been abused. No vampire mind control needed. (She has to give up memories, but not of her adventures with Tav)

.In her good ending she learns to live for herself going on adventures or settling down for a quiet life

Astarion -

. Approves of torture because he's smug he's not the one in the chair

.has done serious harm to others including children but had no control over his body and actions at the time 'He speaks, and our bodies move.'

.Approves of lies and doing bad things a LOT

.is vien and narcissistic about his looks 'AND beautiful! Not enough people mention that.'

.will use and manipulate Tav (admits it all on the confessions scene OR the rejection scene in act 3 if you don't help him in act 2)

.is racist (to the Gur and gnomes kinda? )

. Disapproves of doing nice things if they stray from his goal

.In his bad ending, he is consumed by evil energy that removes any good will he had, continuing the cycle of abuse. (If you use detect thoughts on a sleeping Cazador you will learn that his 'good' qualities are trapped inside him and only his worse qualities manifest in the waking world)

.Good endings can vary in 'goodness'. He can be the hero that saves the spawn or a bounty hunter or even go on a solo quest

All this to say, they both have the capacity to be evil. Regardless of truma or brain washing they can both be bad people once free. Both are brain washed and have memory loss. Both did bad things in the service of someone else. Both have truma that dosnt excuse bad behaviour. Both live in a violent universe unlike our own where death and murder don't mean the sane thing abs have different consequences and should not be judged as real people. Arguably Shadowheart has more autonomy and reasonable decision making begging to bad ending. Astarion hands down has the better chance for redemption by helping others if the player chooses. In game and before development, who loves violence more? Astarion. Who does more violence? Shadowheart. Which is worse, idk.

Again, love them both. Toxic queens. I just hold them to an equal standard

[hollowed-theory-hall]

That theory in Riddle being sexually abused by a Doctor figure and the behaviours he depicted + the talk on unsympathetic victims... Kind of violently reminded me of Severus, and especially his Worst memory where the Marauders did what they did to him. Even his bond with Lily was this unhealthy dependency I think? Well not the right word. But Lily was the only thing keeping him sane and going I feel.

Anonymus: Adding on to the previous ask about Sev and Lily and unsympathetic victims. Do you think the Evans ever acted for Severus the way the weasleys did for Harry? A safe retreat? Do you think they ever tried to report Tobias? How do you interpret Sev and Lil's bond? I know a lot of the fandom thinks Sev was infatuated with her/ romantically loved her...but I often felt that Severus raised Lily to a holy Mary status, and that while he did in fact love her, it was platonic (in which case there is a comment to be made about the way platonic love between opp sex PPL is perceived and ridiculed)

I'm not the op of the post you mentioned, but yeah, Severus is a great example of an unsympathetic victim. Personally, he isn't a character I like all that much, but he is undeniably an interesting one. This turned out a little rambly, but that's what I got.

We don't know how SWM ended, but, yeah... not pleasant regardless of how far it went.

Severus was definitely a victim of abuse, both at his home and school and what he went through was awful. That victimhood doesn't excuse his treatment of students in his care. Like, I had a temporary position as an instructor for teenagers, and Severus' treatment of his students makes me want to throttle him a bit.

But as a child, as a teen — he definitely didn't deserve the life he got. Dumbledore has a tendency to turn a blind eye to abuse for various reasons, which ended up fucking a lot of people over, Snape included. (Tom and Hary too)

As for Severus' dependence on Lily, yeah, I think he was incredibly fixated on her. I agree with you that that fixation isn't necessarily romantic. Lily, was essentially Severus' first friend — his best friend. Lily was to Snape what Ron was to Harry in a way. The first person he felt he could trust.

I went through The Prince's Tale to refresh my memory on all of this, and I wanna talk about his friendship with Lily first, actually.

“. . . thought we were supposed to be friends?” Snape was saying, “Best friends?” “We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary MacDonald the other day?” Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face. “That was nothing,” said Snape. “It was a laugh, that’s all—” “It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny—” “What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?” demanded Snape. His color rose again as he said it, unable, it seemed, to hold in his resentment.

(DH, 569)

Severus sees himself and Lily as best friends. He's happy when she dislikes James, but, he never makes any attempt to become romantic with her. It can be read either way, but personally, I like to read it as a close friendship.

(A little unrelated note about the above quote I saw someone mention once somewhere: Severus knows James fancies Lily, and warns her about it in that same conversation above, and It's interesting he raises Lily's potential romantic interest in James as a retort when she says she doesn't know what he sees in Mulciber. Is anyone shipping Mulciber/Severus? 👀)

I mentioned in this post how I believe Severus' Patronus is a doe because he sees Lily as his defender. Even after all these years. And I think, that too, can be about friendship. Because Liy was his first friend, his first defender. The fact that in SWM we see her step in to defend him suggests to me it happened before. That Lily stepped in to defend Severus, so when he calls for a guardian, in the form of a Patronus, it's still Lily.

And after SWM, Severus is less concerned about what happened to him, he's more concerned about losing Lily. That was the worst thing about that memory. Not his humiliation or assualt, but the loss of his first, and probably only best friend. I don't think he ever trusted someone else like he trusted Lily:

“I’m sorry.” “I’m not interested.” “I’m sorry!” “Save your breath.” It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. “I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.” “I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just—” “Slipped out?” There was no pity in Lily’s voice.

(DH, 571)

Is he a blood-purist who thinks Lily is a perfect muggleborn and therefore an exception to everything? Yes. Severus is in the wrong here about calling Lily a mudblood and thinking it's fine because she's a good mudblood, she's not like the other muggleborns. Lily has every right to cease her friendship with him over it.

But it's telling about his priorities the first thing he does is try to fix their friendship, to apologize to her.

Did he deserve to be hanged upside down and likely stripped in the middle of a large audience at school? Hell no. James probably didn't see it as a big deal, but it's so messed up I don't really know what to say, really. Like, I think Severus definitely fought back and wasn't always the victim of the Marauders, though. In the scene I mentioned above with Mulciber it's implied Severus and his Death Eater buddies are just as bad as James and the Marauders are. Their targets are just different. I think what James did is awful and inexcusable, but at the same time, I think, in the same way Tom Riddle hung Billy's rabbit to scare his bullies away, Severus tried to do the same, if less successfully. It's why he invented spells like Langlock (used in SWM on him) and Sectumsempra.

A lot of his demeanor is the result of abuse. He bullies and scares his students because he's mimicking his father, his abuser. he learned from him to control by force, with fear threats, and degradation. Because that's what Severus experienced as a child. Also, the fact he became a professor as young as he did, meant he felt had to force his students to take him seriously. Some of his first students probably saw him in his lowest moments as a student himself. So, he resorted to the fear and insults that his father likely used when he wanted to be taken seriously.

I truly think the loss of Lily's friendship is what stung the most about the whole ordeal of SWM. I mean, Severus has a lot of bad memories. I'm sure this wasn't the only time he was humiliated and assaulted. He was abused by his father. He was almost killed by Lupin as a werewolf during the prank. And then he joined a terrorist organization where he was likely tortured, where he likely watched people die. And in all of this, his worst memory is this one case of assault that I doubt was the only one? This doesn't make much sense to me, I think it's his worst memory not because of what happened to him, but because he lost his friendship with Lily over what he considers a "stupid slip".

And yeah, after Lily's death, in his mind, Snape raised her to a saintly status. He never has a mean thought about her, because he feels guilty over her death. He feels like he killed his only defender. So, of course, his memories of her are colored like she was perfect. That's how he wants to remember her so he can keep feeling guilty and hating himself over it. He feels like he deserves to feel that way. This is something you see with victims of abuse, they rationalize their abuse by convincing themselves they deserve it.

And Snape is a very bitter character who doesn't want to get better.

As for whether I think he found solace in the Evans household the same way Harry did with the Weasleys? The answer is yes actually. And there's some evidence for it.

Lily knew things weren't good at home for Severus:

“How are things at your house?” Lily asked. A little crease appeared between his eyes. “Fine,” he said. “They’re not arguing anymore?” “Oh yes, they’re arguing,” said Snape. He picked up a fistful of leaves and began tearing them apart, apparently unaware of what he was doing. “But it won’t be that long and I’ll be gone.”

(DH, 563-564)

And Severus mentioned later in that conversation how his father doesn't just not like magic — he doesn't like anything. Severus and his mother are very clearly implied to be abused by his father when his mother is mentioned. He doesn't describe much of what goes on at home, he tries to act fine, but I'm calling it abuse because of what it most likely is. Severus can't wait to leave home as an eleven-year-old. This isn't something that usually happens in healthy households.

Additionally, Severus spent enough time in their house it was conceivable he and Lily snuck into Petunia's room to find her letter to Hogwarts:

“You shouldn’t have read—” whispered Petunia, “that was my private—how could you—?” Lily gave herself away by half-glancing toward where Snape stood nearby. Petunia gasped. “That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!”

(DH, 566)

So, he probably stayed over with the Evans parents most of the day and only returned home to sleep. That's what I think happened. And, Lily's parents seem very kind and accepting of magic from what little we hear of them:

Lily glanced toward her parents, who were looking around the platform with an air of wholehearted enjoyment, drinking in the scene. Then she looked back at her sister, and her voice was low and fierce

(DH, 566)

“You knew?” said Harry. “You knew I’m a — a wizard?” “Knew!” shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. “Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that school — and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!”

(PS, 41)

I think Severus preferred the Evans house over his own. His own where his parents argued and his father abused him and his mother. Where his parents both worked and left him wandering the streets as a young child.

As for whether the Evans parents ever tried to report Tobias, we just don't really know. I'd say no. Domestic abuse in the 1970s was still largely unrecognized and not treated legally and medically like it is today. So, I don't think they'd have anyone to report to even if they wanted to. Especially with where the Snapes lived, which was essentially slums that the police didn't bother with anyway.

[melonteee]

Just saw someone’s wacko take on Whole Cake Island and I want to see your thoughts, as I get everyone had their own opinions but damn theirs made me baffled

Basically they said that Sanji being forced into marriage was completely unnecessary and was Oda’s terrible attempt to “fix” Sanji after the time skip. That we didn’t need to see how good of a person Sanji is as that was something already seen pre timeskip but was completely ruined post apparently

They then also claimed that Sanji’s blood family has no point of existing, and they questioned why he needed more story when his original backstory was enough. They claimed that this was a terrible attempt by Oda to make Sanji seem as broken as possible to apparently excuse his gross behaviour post time skip

They said that Sanji’s family being emotionless monsters shouldn’t mean anything to Sanji as he’s a pirate and faces cruel people all the time, they don’t think it added anything to his character. They believe Oda only did this to get people to like Sanji again after apparently assassinating his character post time skip

They also brought up Pudding being 16 (which we don’t know is true or not) and how that makes Sanji seem more gross and Oda gross by extension

Again I believe everyone can have their opinions, but when an opinion is as jaw droopingly awful as this it makes me want to slam my head against a wall, it’s also annoying that they’ve turned off comments to prevent any discussion really showing how stubborn they are on this

Anyway I wanted to see your thoughts as you are the no.1 Sanji fan

Sighssssss I cannot stand this "Oda wanted to 'fix' Sanji" idea these people have, because that just tells me...they literally do not pay attention to Sanji at all.

As always, yes, Sanji has pervy gags. Yes, he was a bit much in Fishman Island SPECIFICALLY, but he IS the same character.

Fishman Island showed his fierce care and love for Nami as a CREWMATE by telling Jinbe what the fuck Arlong did to her, because he was LITERALLY there for Arlong's defeat and nearly died with the others fighting for Nami! He spoke up for Nami as FAMILY and that means a LOT to her.

Punk Hazard showed his kindness towards Kinemon and the kids by helping Kinemon - a dangerous stranger - and helping the kids per Nami's request.

Dressrosa showed Sanji's kindness is so valued due to Viola breaking down and feeling safe with him, to the point she told him the truth about Dressrosa and Doflamingo.

Zou showed JUST how kind Sanji is by helping save an ENTIRE island, Pedro valuing his kindness SO MUCH he risked his life to help get Sanji back to his crew.

Sanji has never needed fixing, what Sanji NEEDED was an explanation for why the fuck he was a kid by himself on a sailing ship. He NEEDED an explanation for HOW he could be a kid from the north but somehow be in the east. He NEEDED an explanation for why he was so self sacrificing to the point he thought of giving his life - not just for Zeff, but for ANYONE - seemed like the best choice to him.

Yes, it wouldn't be a question if it was just for Zeff and the Baratie. But it wasn't just for Zeff, he also did it for Usopp, for Luffy, for Nami, for Zoro, for Robin. Sanji's self sacrificing nature was ROOTED in him, and we had no idea from WHERE.

In fact, his self worth was so little, he asked a LITERAL ADULT why he was being nice to him - when he was a KID! And as I said in my Sanji video, WHAT kid asks why an adult is treating them nicely? NO other kid in One Piece has asked an adult that, because they're kids!

The fact it was suspected Sanji's family were powerful from YEARS ago, due to the fact his face wasn't on posters, AND Duval was being endlessly chased after, AND Sanji was from the north, AND his blood type was rare, says plenty enough that it was TOTALLY necessary.

Sanji literally finds his worth in other people, and again, that didn't stem from Zeff! Zeff treasured Sanji to the point Zeff used his HANDS on him, so WHERE does this self-hating nature come from with Sanji?

And we get it! We get it with his WCI story! We see the depths of his soul, the peaks of his kindness, and just how extreme the HATRED for himself is. He didn't even think Luffy WANTED him because his self worth is THAT low.

But, most importantly, we see JUST how strong Sanji is due to STAYING kind - even WITH everything he's gone through. WCI is about SANJI'S strength of character, through and through, and calling that unnecessary is just INSANE to me. Again, it just tells me these people do not like Sanji at all, to the point they didn't pay much attention to him. Because of COURSE when you don't look behind you, but then someone appears in front of you, you're gonna go "?? now where did THAT come from??"

But literally anyone who pays attention to Sanji expected to find out about his family and his origins, because the seeds were there!

Overall, if you want the deep dive for why it was necessary? My Sanji video explains it all :]

[miraculouscriticismshub]

MLB writer's math be like...

ML writer's math is calling Chloe stans r*pist defenders on Twitter for defending Chloe while being silent about the fact that there are some extreme Felix stans who defend Felix's harassment towards LB

ML writer's math is saying Audrey's abuse doesn't excuse Chloe's horrid actions but proceeds to say Felix did nothing wrong and that his actions SHOULD be excused because his dad abused him, therefore making everything Colt's fault

ML writer's math is saying Lukloe is a toxic ship because it adopts the whole good boy fixing the bad girl trope which they say is unhealthy because Luka shouldn't carry the burden of being Chloe's therapist but proceed to make Feligami canon despite it being the exact same concept but reversed. Felix before Kagami was an anti-hero but after they got together, he is redeemed implying Kagami "fixed him"

ML writer's Math is condemning Colt Fathom for abusing and controlling his son and telling us to feel bad for Felix but when Audrey does the same thing to Chloe in Revolution and I repeat "I'm going to take control of your life again" she isn't held accountable as well and this abusive behaviour is treated as punishment and we shouldn't be feeling bad for her. (Disclaimer: NOT defending Colt because both are awful parents and both are terrible but there is a double standard going on. Felix and Chloe both deserve better parents)

ML writer's Math is calling out Felix's father for the abusive scum he is and recognising him as an abuser but refusing to give similar treatment to Gabriel and Andre who despite not being as bad as Colt when it comes to parenting are still rubbish parents. Why is Colt one of the only parents in the show to be held accountable?

ML writer's math (mainly TA) is being quick to slander some toxic Chloe/Lila stans for their problematic behaviour but when some toxic Maribug/Adrichat/Adrienette have also shown signs of toxic behaviour (e.g what happened to the Lila girl) Thomas Astruc stayed Silent on the matter. Surely a serious matter such as taking one's life should've been addressed by him since he sees himself as an activist and good person on Twitter. He should've known about it since the news of the Lila fan was common knowledge among the fanbase (even Cyrus the Great made a video about this)

Disclaimer : These are just common double standards I've seen in the writing and by TA. Comment more double standards if you know any. Please stay respectful when commenting

[celticcrossanon]

Celta, I have to vent. I was scrolling through Parkle gossip online and saw this and naturally I felt a pang of sympathy for someone who has to allegedly ask his wife if he’s not good enough for her anymore.

Then I scrolled a bit more and got angry. Mutsu Potsane was an orphaned kid in Lesotho that Harry befriended through his charity Sentebale. To show how much Harry appreciates Mutsu after 14 years, Harry invited Mutsu to fly out to the UK for his wedding… only for Mutsu to be given a ticket to stand outside Windsor Castle and wave at Harry when there reportedly where plenty of seats for people from Harry’s charities that could have been seated inside St. George’s Chapel during Harry’s wedding ceremony. It was reported in the news back in 2018 but only resurfaced again online today. 

Sentebale literally means “forget me not” (or in proper English “don’t forget me”). It’s infuriating how much of a nasty, awful hypocrite Harry truly is. This isn’t the first time I’ve read reports of Harry neglect vulnerable kids at his charity Sentebale but it makes me angry when I read about in the papers. I’ve never known any other member of the Royal Family to mistreat people like this from their charities.

This reminds me that Karma does pay attention to the fact that Harry has treated people very badly throughout his life. It’s ironic that only now, Harry is being mistreated by someone he chose to marry. Unfortunately, learning the Golden Rule of treating people how you want to be treated is a karmic lesson I think Harry is too dense and immature to understand and appreciate.

Sorry for the depressing comments. I wish I could find a funny or sweet royal story to send you as it is Christmas in a day or two (depending on the time zones) and maybe I still will be able to. ;) That being said, I wish you and everyone else here a very merry Happy Christmas! :)

*

Hi TeaWithBooks,

It is hard with Harry as he has done awful things which make people (including me) very angry at him, one of which (for me) is his neglect of the promises he made to various orphans at Sentable, and then there is the natural empathy and horror and feeling concerned for someone who is manipulated and abused by his wife. I think it is very human to feel both emotions and to feel conflicted about them,

Sometimes I try to hold space for both emotions, i.e. say to myself yes, Harry is a horrible person, but that does not mean that his wife can abuse him, and at other times (most of the times) I am just a confused mess. I dislike, very much, how Harry ahs acted and how he has abused his grandparents and his family, his broken promises toward the Sentable orphan whose name I can’t remember, his alleged abuse of women, and the wedding invitation mentioned above is just another one to add to that list.  

But - and it is a but I keep coming back to -

none of this excuses Meghan’s behaviour. Spousal abuse is wrong. AFAIK Harry is not mistreating her in any way, so there is no reason for her abuse and manipulation of him. She is not the one who has suffered from his actions above - if anything, she has encouraged most of them. 

I suppose I am kind of glad that they are married to each other and not making other people miserable, but that does not excuse either one of them.

There are no innocent victims here. We have a male who has abused others married to a woman who manipulates and abuses him. Neither is an innocent party and the wrongdoings of one do not excuse the wrongdoings of the other.

This is far too complicated for me so I am going to leave it to the higher power to sort out. :)

[ravenquingvax]

Thinking about a world where Vax'ildan accidentally made a deal with Orthax instead of The Matron of Ravens, leading to his steady corruption.

Vax is better at hiding his possession initially than Percy was on the account that Vax's whole job is pretending to not exist so he can do things people don't usually approve of without being caught doing it.

Maybe he doesn't even realise what he's done at first, he dons the armour fully believing that it's the Matron he's sworn himself to and life goes on otherwise unchanged by this moment, ignoring the extra white in Vex'ahlia's hair and the anger Vax now harbours towards Percy, which is honestly a relief giving how they still have dragons to kill.

Then, one night, he's assaulted with a horrifying nightmare where he relives every awful thing that's happened to him.

He can feel the pain, the fear, the anger, and the grief all over again as if it was real...

Then it changes, and he's surrounded by the corpses of everyone has ever loved;

His mother, both of his sisters, Devanna, Thorn, Vox Machina, Cassandra, Gilmore, Allura, Kima, Jarett... Everyone.

Twisted, bloodied, bruised...

Glaring at him in their death...

Torn apart... Viscera covering everything including Vax.

And he's terrified, screaming for an out - he doesn't want this, why is this happening, somebody make it stop!

Then there's smoke and sulfur.

His feathered mantle is set alight and it burns, ash falling all around Vax as he crumbles.

Then there's a voice, a voice that's familiar but not.

"What would you give?"

He doesn't know what to say, what would he even recieve?

"In exchange for their safety, what would you sacrifice?"

And now he is at a loss.

Vax'ildan knows better than to make deals with a demon, or with anyone in a position of authority or power over you.

But he's scared, his sister died and they're all going to die and none of it is worth it but everything is worth them-

He's so tired. He's so, so tired.

He asks what it would have?

He sees the jagged orange glass grin in a flash of light, the chuckle dark and ominous.

Really, it's a foolish question.

Vax'ildan knows better.

You can't outsmart a demon, especially one so scorned.

(He'll relearn that lesson again some other night, atop a tower with a different demon who wears the face of a man Vax loves ever so dearly.)

But he's desperate, Vox Machina need all the help they can get and, really...

How is this any different to him selling himself to The Clasp to protect Vex in his youth?

(It's so different.)

"Keep everyone safe, never let any of them die, and when the dragons are dead, I will serve you so long as you leave them alone and free from harm."

Well, how could Orthax refuse?

A skilled murderer offering his services to a demon whose bloodlust is stronger than any man's will to remain himself?

And for something so easy?

Orthax seals the deal with a cackle, another flash of teeth that look rotten and broken, and a final message for Vax.

"A soul like yours, mine for such a small price... Like taking candy from a babe, or a babe from an unsuspecting mother."

Waking up, Vax would feel different - something has changed in his heart, and he feels much heavier and warmer than he usually does.

He smells sulfur in his more violent episodes of anger, which occur all the more frequently now, and he tastes iron in his mouth at random.

"It's the trauma, give him time."

"You'd be pissed too after holding your dead twin sister in your arms, even if briefly!"

"It's the dragons. We're all scared and angry. He's fine."

"He's not had a break in over a month, let him get it out."

Vax almost starts buying it himself, the endless excuses others give for his behaviour.

What he wouldn't give to have never made that stupid deal.

But, to Orthax's credit, Vox Machina and friends do come by an extraordinary bought of luck ever since that day.

Yet, Vax suffers for it.

He grows more distant than ever before, both thanks to his unstable emotions making people anxious around him and his guilt making him stay away.

He kills with more violence than Vox Machina have ever seen the rogue use before.

He even snaps at and bickers with those he'd normally never dare raise his voice to...

And he starts drinking more.

But somehow, it's only after Grog accidentally cuts Vax with Cravenedge and the sword shrieks in response that Vox Machina finally realises that something is seriously wrong with Vax'ildan right now.

(That and that they really must do better to look after each other if they've missed two of their members being taken over by insidious forces.)

Vax tries to run away, scared that this will void his deal, but how can he abandon Vex when she stops him in tears?...

They have a long talk, Vax and Grog both restrained with magic should anything happen, and Pike does an aura check on both men out of concern.

Grog isn't too far gone, but the effects of Sylas's sword are still clear. With Vax, however...

His once bright soul is almost entirely smothered by the black smoke that had eagerly tried to consume Percy's soul not so long ago back in Whitestone.

It's terrifying to see, especially when prior to this Vax's soul had been the brightest out of anyone else's in Vox Machina.

Vax, angry and scared, begs for them to let him go - he loves them, he wants no harm to befall them, he'll be fine.

They can't, though.

It's torture seeing Vax like this, but they're at a loss.

Orthax, pissed at them for intervening again, tries to take over control of Vax's body.

On the outside, it looks like Vax is having a seizure - his eyes roll back as he gasps in pain, his body starting to spasm.

The smoke pours out of his mouth and nose angrily, Vax choking on it and crying.

They force his body into the recovery position, watching in utter horror and fear for Vax.

When Vax coughs up blood, they all jump forth in alarm.

Then Pike casts something, so hot and bright and golden, and it punches Vax in the chest.

With a wail of agony, he falls still and quiet at last as the smoke hisses and trickles away.

They all surround Vax, trying to see if he's okay... But when he wakes up, Vax is confused.

He doesn't know where he is or what is going on. He's scared.

Vex hugs him close, kissing his forehead and telling him it's okay now - they're safe.

But when he responds with "Who are these people, Momma?", it leaves everyone in shock - Vax doesn't recognise them and thinks Vex is his deceased mother rather than his twin sister, seemingly thinking he is a child again.

Pike, having exhausted her magic, can't do anything about it at the moment and everyone is so fucking tired now.

They go to bed anxious, Grog nolonger bound by magic but forcibly removed from his sword, and they all surround poor Vax to shield him in his current, very vulnerable state.

By morning, the rogue has managed to slip away.

They all panic - had Orthax come back for him already!?

But no, he had innocently walked off looking for "Vexxy" because he can't find her.

It's heartbreaking, Vex torn up about Vax mistaking her for their mother and being worried about 'being unable to find her'.

Pike checks his aura first, happy to note the smoke is gone but worried seeing how much dimmer Vax's soul is now, before she casts Greater Restoration on the man.

Vax jerks in surprise as his mind is brought back up to the present, the half-elf starting to remember all that's happened.

Vox Machina comfort him at first as he finds himself again, but once he's relaxed they immediately barrage him with questions and "what were you thinking!?"s and "you idiot!"s

It's honestly really nice to Vax, his mind finally clear again, but once everyone gets it out of their system he answers them;

"He broke me. He came to me in a nightmare and he broke me with visions of awful things... I was scared, I just wanted it all to stop... I just wanted to protect all of you..."

Percy is immediately very empathetic hearing this, he's the only one who can truly understand what happened

the others are horrified

"I was so tired and scared... I essentially told him that he could do whatever with me if he protects all of you until we kill the last of the dragons..."

and, oh, how it makes Keyleth cry to see Vax curl in on himself and as speaks in such a soft, defeated voice...

She hugs him, tells him that any of them would have done the same in his situation.

But Pike remains firm - "Did you know? Back in the tomb?"

Vax explains that, no, he didn't know it was Orthax for a bit.

He had genuinely thought that the Matron had heard his pleas and had been kind enough to return Vex without taking immediate payment - had wondered if The Matron had been merely biding her time.

And when the nightmare happened, Vax had been in no state to identify the demon - it was only as he made the deal that he truly recognised them.

By that point, it was too late.

He admits that he had stopped caring about himself entirely...

What was another claim on him if his loved ones were safe?

Vex is understandably upset hearing her brother say this, he means the world to her.

If she lost him...

It's Scanlan who asks what it was Orthax had shown Vax exactly - "All of you, dead."

Dead by his own hand? He doesn't know. But they had been brutalised and he was sat there in the gore of it all.

None of them can blame him for making the deal he made after hearing that description.

In fact, when Vax is unable to look at any of them and hugs himself, all they want to do is hurt everyone who has ever hurt him to the point of this.

They also cast Greater Restoration on Grog and destroy Cravenedge, but Vax isn't left alone for a second.

Keyleth hangs off one of his arms as Vex holds his free hand, Scanlan and Percy flanking his back and front.

They're not letting the rogue out of their sight for a while.

He doesn't blame them, but it's pretty overwhelming for Vax.

Though he understands their concerns and feels guilty, he really doesn't enjoy being confined like this...

But when an angry and vessel-less Orthax attacks them not long later, he is thankful for all of them.

He almost lost himself entirely to this monstrosity from the Hells... A truly scary thought.

That his loved ones love him no less for it is a miracle.

And if anything, he thinks he understands Percy now.

[hotreadingwitch]

MADE TO LIE - the party

Y/N 

Bucky might be handsome, sure, but that didn’t excuse his cold behaviour.

“God, he’s driving me mad” Y/n declared as Natasha helped her pin her hair in a glamorous old Hollywood-esque style. 

“I’m sure it’ll get easier between you two the more you get to know each other” Wanda encouraged. 

“Yeah and Steve adores him so he can’t be that awful deep down” 

“True” Y/n conceded before continuing, her anger and insecurities simmering like a pot of boiling water, “I just can’t get past the feeling that he despises me” 

“I don’t know if he does Y/n…” Natasha started.

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, sometimes you act like you hate someone when really you’re just confused about feeling…something else?” 

“You think he likes me?” 

“Well,” she sighed, “You never know…it’s just an observation” 

“Maybe he’s shy” Wanda added. 

Y/n scoffed. 

“I find that hard to believe” 

“I think there’s probably more to Bucky Barnes than any of us know…” 

BUCKY

When Y/n stepped into the large party room it felt to Bucky as if everyone, including him, suddenly noticed her all at once. The thought of hundreds of eyes on her made his stomach rumble with discomfort and protectiveness but also a small sense of pride. Her dress was some designer couture, clearly straight from the runway but she wore it better than any model ever could in his opinion. She shone in it, somehow not overpowered by the thousand glittering black beads and pearls that were delicately interwoven with the dress’s fabric. Bucky placed a hand on the ache in his chest, physically feeling overwhelmed, her beauty was so intense it was all-consuming. 

“Are you okay James?” Dr. Pashia asked cautiously. 

He tore his gaze away from Y/n only to notice his therapist’s sly smile. 

“Don’t” he groaned, scratching at his 5 o’clock shadow, “Between you and Steve I can’t catch a break…” 

“Well, my lips are sealed then” she mimed the action cheekily. 

Bucky let out a loose, gravelly laugh, smiling down at her. He was endlessly grateful for her professional help and in the last couple of years working with her, she’d almost become a friend. 

“Thanks, Doc” 

The pair talked and talked, joking in a natural way that only a great therapist and patient could. 

His gaze subconsciously flitted to where Y/n was in the room again and again as the night went on. Dr. Pashia said nothing about it, thankfully. When his eyes landed on her a third time he was surprised to find she was glaring at him with so much intensity he almost stumbled even though he was standing perfectly still. He watched as she slowly turned back to whoever it was she was talking to and threw her head back with a flirtatious little laugh. The man was tall, like him, with long, slicked black hair and piercing, devilish eyes. A rush of heat hit his cheeks. With a frustrated growl, he turned away, excusing himself before stalking over to the bar where he noticed Natasha was helping with drinks. The loud current pop music and throwbacks playing at the party pounded loudly in his ears. 

I’m in love with the shape of you…

“Hey,” he bit out when he reached the bar. 

“Hey,” she hesitated, looking visibly amused. 

“What’s that look for?” He grumbled, agitated. 

“Trouble with Y/n?” 

“Is everyone able to read me these days?” He groaned, “What happened to being a top-class assassin?” 

She raised her glass in a toast, “Oh how the mighty have fallen…” 

He clinked hers in a sardonic cheers. If anyone could understand how it felt to suddenly gain autonomy after years of torture and control, it was Natasha. 

“I’d give her a chance you know?” she continued, making Bucky’s eyebrow raise, “I’m biased as a best friend sure but that doesn’t mean she isn’t truly the kindest person I’ve ever known” 

Bucky’s eyes softened, after talking to Natasha he was filled with a new purpose, one that started with an apology. When he finally turned away, heading back to the party, he stopped mid-step…

Y/N

After her talk with Wanda and Natasha, the girls had practically drunk their body weight in hard liquor, Wanda not even making it to the party. When Y/n arrived, it seemed that all the other Avengers were busy, either with each other or with the hoards of people Tony had invited to come. A little while later, her eyes finally found Barnes in the crowd and immediately narrowed. He was talking to probably one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen. 

She turned away from the scene unfolding before her, strutting over to the nearest handsome man she could find, and tonight there were many.

Grab somebody sexy tell ‘em hey 

The music blared over the speakers. 

“Hi,” Y/n greeted with a flirting glance up at the tall stranger. 

“Well hello there” he responded, his mouth curving into a naughty grin. 

“Y/n” she held out her hand to shake. 

He took it, placing a dapper kiss on her skin before introducing himself, “God of Mischief” 

She threw her head back, laughing a little more than she normally would at such a stupid joke. 

Give me everything tonight

By the time they made it to the dance floor the song from earlier was almost making the space shake, not to mention the people covering the dance floor. 

I might drink a little more than I should tonight 

And I might take you home with me tonight 

Y/n swayed along with the stranger, allowing his hands to press into the curves of her hips. All was going well until a different hand, a cool metal one, planted itself on her shoulder from behind. 

“Hi honey” his sarcastic tone grated her eardrums. 

She turned with an annoyed look to see none other than Bucky Barnes glowering in front of her. 

“Can I help you?” She feigned innocence. 

His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, likely out of annoyance. But she didn’t care…Let him be annoyed. 

She turned back to the stranger to find that he’d disappeared. 

“What do you want Bucky?” 

“What do I—“ he grazed a frustrated hand over his mouth, “What do I want? It doesn’t matter what I want Y/n. What matters is that I’m the only one you should even be near tonight, this might not be an official mission but that won’t stop people from talking”

“Apologies, I didn’t know you could even stand my presence”

He looked taken aback by this but before he could respond a woman backed into him, bumping him forward toward Y/n so that their chests were pressed together. He gripped onto Y/n’s wrist, seemingly for support as he stumbled slightly. The woman’s perfect olive-brown skin gleamed in the lights and she smiled at Bucky, a sweet smile that made him sigh and shake his head. 

Y/n realized in an instant that this was the woman that Bucky had been talking to earlier. She had seen enough. She attempted to rip her hand away from his but he whipped his gaze back to her, his grip on her only growing tighter. It was then, just as Y/n was about to speak, that the overhead lighting dimmed and a mellow piano melody began to fill the large space. 

She turned her head, noticing quickly with a groan the other drunken party-goers who were now forming pairs to partake in the slow dance.

Like a flower, waiting to bloom

Like a light bulb in a dark room

I’m just sitting here waiting for you

To come on home 

And turn me on

Y/n’s heart ached at the DJ’s choice of song as she reached out, placing her other hand on Bucky’s strong shoulder. Lost to the music, her fingers brushed the swell of his muscle, tracing down to his collarbone. If she noticed how this movement made Bucky’s breathing hitch, she didn’t say anything about it. 

“So now you want to play the part?” Bucky chuckled, raising a thick eyebrow in a light-hearted manner that she hadn’t seen directed at her in all the time she’d known him. 

Like the desert 

Waiting for the rain 

A beat passed, a thoughtful silence settling between them. 

“My father used to listen to this song…we’d waltz to it when I was a little girl, it was my mother’s favourite” Y/n admitted softly. 

She winced then, looking up into Bucky’s steely eyes to measure his reaction, information about her abusive crime boss father wasn’t what she normally started conversations with. But his gaze was surprisingly soft. 

“I’m sorry…” Bucky murmured, pulling her slightly closer. 

Y/n sighed. She supposed all the Avengers had been briefed on her past when she first joined the initiative but she wasn’t sure. This confirmed that. A couple of years ago, Y/n had fled her father’s French crime organization, giving information to Nick Fury that would later contribute to the group’s effort to lock him up, neutralizing him as a threat for good. In a twisted way, she was glad that her father was no longer a danger to her or anyone else. 

“Thank you” she whispered back, “I suppose it’s a bit of a weird father-daughter song anyway” 

“Perfect for a weird father-daughter duo then” Bucky smirked playfully. 

Y/n’s eyes widened before she let out a startled laugh. No one ever dared to joke with her about her past, especially about her father. 

“Very true” a small smile spread across her lips. 

She hesitated then, leaning forward to rest her head on Bucky’s shoulder. She found his planes of muscle were soft on her cheek, the quality of his expensive-looking suit surely helping with that. 

I’m just sitting here 

Waiting for you to come on home 

And turn me on

Turn me on

The music faded out eventually but Y/n didn’t really notice. 

BUCKY 

Y/n was drunk and Bucky had forgotten what it felt like to be as the super soldier serum mostly prevented it. He did, however, remember the stories of him coming home sloshed and sloppy that Steve refused to let him forget…and sloshed and sloppy was exactly what Y/n was now.

“Come on doll” Bucky pushed softly as he guided Y/n through the compound hallways to where he hoped her room was located. 

“Here, here—” she slurred her words as they reached the door, cutting herself off with a small burp. 

Bucky tried not to laugh as he took in her drunken state. After they’d danced together for three of four more songs, Y/n and Bucky had rejoined the group who were then playing a ridiculous drinking game that someone had come up with. Bucky glared daggers at the tall, dark-haired man who had been dancing with Y/n before, who he learned was Loki, Thor’s mischievous brother. Besides that though, he had actually managed to have a pretty good time. It seemed, however, that Y/n, who’d drank double her weight in liquor, had an even better experience. 

Y/n stumbled onto her bed, bending over with a huff as she tried to take off her ridiculously high heels. She pulled and pulled at the stubborn shoe, not realizing, in her state, that she had to undo the buckle first. Rolling his eyes, Bucky got to his knees before her. 

“What are you doing Barnes?” she garbled. 

“Taking off your shoes” he chuffed, “And you never call me that…” 

“Well maybe I do now” 

He raised his eyebrows.

“Fine, fine, ‘Bucky’ it is, though I don’t know why you’re insisting…” her eyes glazed over, “Unless you just like hearing me say your name” 

A flame lit in Bucky’s eyes. 

“Go shower” he commanded gruffly. 

“M’kay” she agreed before stumbling into the bathroom, the moment forgotten, just another drunken thought that she’d likely forget by morning. 

She left the door open as she did, allowing Bucky a full view of her as she stripped out of her fancy dress and the lacy lingerie beneath it. Tearing his eyes away from Y/n out of respect for her privacy was the least of his issues. What worried him now was the fact that she might slip. Sure enough, after a single minute passed, Bucky heard a small yelp coming from the steamy bathroom. His gaze snapped to the shower where Y/n was on the ground, her knees curled up to her chest. He ran into the room, opened the door to the shower and, being careful not to look, helped her to her feet. 

“Are you hurt?” 

The freezing cold water ran down his suit, soaking him to his core, but he didn’t care. When she didn’t answer he prodded again, 

“Why didn’t you turn the water to be hot?” 

“Because” she responded with a non-committal shrug. 

Without another word, Bucky grabbed a fluffy towel from outside the shower and wrapped it around her, turning off the stream of now-warm water. 

“Come” he ushered her to her bed. 

He flipped open the plush sheets, helping her to settle between them. 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” the words poured out of her with startling vulnerability. 

“Because” he responded gruffly, repeating her seemingly nonchalant words from earlier.

“Because” she slowly whispered back, speaking into the dark, “Because…” 

Bucky’s laugh was a quiet puff. 

“No laughing” she drunkenly chided, though her smile was at odds with her words, “I’m tired” 

“Then sleep doll” he caressed her forehead, making her hum with contentment. 

Only when she had finally drifted off into a heavy, peaceful slumber, did he finally leave. 

A/N - the three songs with lyrics used in the chapter are Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, Turn Me On by Norah Jones, and Give Me Everything by Pitbull, Neyo, AFROJACK and Nayer

requested account tags:

cjand10 identity2212 bucky-jbb-sunshine unaxv hnnhbananananana

[malaierba]

once again the white, privileged fans that live in the global north fail to see the problem with a fictional guy's behaviour

Was gonna write this in tags but whatever, here it is:

Stolas. listen i love the guy. let me repeat: i LOVE the guy. he's fucked up and imperfect. thats EXACTLY what i want from a victim of childhood neglect & marital abuse thats been soooo repressed all his life.

i feel bad for him but he's in his own way sheltered and his perception of whats normal is ABNORMAL. both from a class/status pov (absurdly privileged materially + socially) and from how he believes he should act in his interpersonal relationships.

so WHY are his fans pretending he doesn't have problems too?

his communication is ABYSMAL and is both by grace of being sheltered and disconnected from how the power dynamics feel to those below him and also just. man doesnt really have any references when it comes to assertive communication in general.

That's why him and Blitzo keep clashing, they lack the other's context. they can feel its there but they cant actually see truly from the other's pov.

And you need to understand, please please please white gringo reading this, you need to understand how uniquely awkward and awful this is for Blitzo. Take off your horny googles and listen to me. The privileged guy is calling the guy at the bottom of society his PET, his SEXY LITTLE IMP in front of other IMPS. do you understand how objectivying, demeaning, fetishistic that is? Even if he's doing it in a "oh he's my dom" way, that's not how its READING IN THE SOCIAL CONTEXT WHERE ITS BEING SAID.

Like if you don't get it then youre a lost cause, goodbye. But honestly, no matter how sweet Stolas is, how much he believes he doesnt look down on Blitzo, he IS condescending in his flirting (especially in the first episodes, let's acknowledge that he does better. not that anyone would be able to know if it was because something clicked for him, or if he just got bored with that), and just. the fact that he's unaware of how his actions around Blitzo get read by the rest of society.

He's been so historically bad at addressing this that Blitzo fully believes that he has a species/status kink. And fine, okay, let's say its Blitzo's fault for not being clearer when telling him not to speak down to him in that way, at least not in public. Still a flaw that Stolas has.

A sweet ignorant partner is still an ignorant partner, and that places a burden on Blitzo.

And I'm not excusing Blitzo, he does bring a lot of rotten baggage and terribly immature, petty communication skills, a lot of his own trauma to the dynamic. But, this post is about Stolas. The emphasis on his lack of social literacy is essential to his character and the conflict it drives, so lets not pretend he's an uwu baby.

[pallastrology]

my astrology-related hot takes

i sure do have some takes. are they hot, tepid, icy? read on to find out, i'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions too <3

i love placidus house system. i know this one is hotly debated and i get it, but for myself, my own chart? i will die on the hill that placidus is the house system for me, and i feel so stiff and awkward when working with whole signs or equal houses in my own chart.

on a similar vein, not everyone agrees with interceptions/duplications (partially due to them not being a thing in some house systems), which, again, i get, but i find them to be fascinating and generally very accurate. trust a libra to be obsessed with chart imbalances, right?

i think it's possible to get lost in all the tiny, interesting pieces of astrology and overlook the basics. i do this myself, especially when i find a new and amazing rabbit hole to go down, but i believe the basics are generally going to be enough for most issues you're looking into, especially if you're looking from a self-reflection/development angle.

sometimes i feel lost as an astrologer in this community because there are many astrologers i follow that appear to have their niche figured out, and write within it so beautifully, while i haven't found my astrological 'calling' yet...

sometimes i'm wary of posts about asteroids because of how hard it can be to find good-quality literature on them. i'm worried i'll be reblogging something that someone just made up (and yes, i know it's all made up by someone, but i mean off the top of their head, without a good deal of knowledge and research behind it).

vedic astrology seems, to me at least, somewhat fatalistic and 'final' compared to western tropical. i'd love to learn more about it but it feels more formal and serious in a way; maybe that's just the articles i've read though..?

i love the astro community here on tumblr but it feels like more of a struggle to get that community feeling now than it did a few years ago. i don't exactly know what the issues are but it's a strange feeling.

i try to be a nice and positive person, but one thing that always ruins my mood is when i see posts or videos that say “(insert placement here) does this extremely toxic thing, like of course they do, they’re (insert placement here)!”. no, actually, being a gemini/eighth house moon/libra rising doesn’t excuse or guarantee awful behaviour. i thought we covered this years ago 🥲

[cringelordofchaos]

Day 5 of Freakblr baby !!!!!

what I like/dislike about Jake

This will be a rollercoaster oh titan….

So, let's start with what I like about him.

I like a lot! I like his character arc, learning to be himself and stay true to himself, (though it's not finished), I like the way he masks his heavy insecurity with his cocky attitude, I like the way he gets flustered and shy around Daisy, I like his imperfection - his wrongdoings - his mistakes. I like how he's an accurate representation of what peer pressure can do to a generally well meaning individual. I like how reckless he can be, and hurt people he doesn't mean to. He's relatable, generally cool and genuinely imperfect. I like how his backstory explajs his behaviour but of course I don't mean to use it as an excuse for everything he did - just the explanation. I like his other quirks and traits casually displayed throughout the show. And there's much more to say of course, but I'm just giving a basic rundown

There's a lot of things to like about Jake!

And I usually don't dislike characters like, ever… I practically like all TMF characters, that including Jake.

However there's one thing he did that still gets on my nerves. Yes, it's me being petty - but i don't care. It's the one thing I dislike about him and I'm willing to be angy about it

Ok, picture this - you're outside on a walk, doing whatever. You then see your best friends partner being obviously and intentionally romantic with someone else. Whatever you saw makes you sure they're cheating on your friend.

What do you do?

Jakes answer - …not tell him about it!

Seriously, I don't get what was going through his head when he knew Zoey was cheating on Drew, but didn't say anything. I don't know when he found out, but it was before ep3, before he threatened Zoey to reveal the truth unless she stops teasing Milly

(Not to mention the way he said “aw … you two looked very cozy together” to Zoey having a sugar daddy, who we now know is a college student, what the actual music fuck JAKE)

Okay yes, here he was being a good friend to Milly, genuinely helping her out a ton by doing what he could - blackmail her with the knowledge he held. So of course, after threatening Zoey with the possibility of telling Drew what he knows, he can't just … tell Drew anyway, because then the deal is off, and Zoey would bother Milly again. But also, we know that Jake knew what she did before he told her, what held him back from telling Drew what she did before it was useful for Milly? Unless he has fucking future vision? (Which he doesn't.)

Like, I don't know. Some of the other things he does throughout the show are actually explained by his backstory. How he pretended he was something he wasn't because he didn't want to be an outcast again, he didn't want to be lonely again, so he gave into peer pressure to please others so they wouldn't leave him or tease him. That's why he didn't tell Drew about who he truly was - he was scared. He felt unsafe. That's why he said all the horrible things about the club in ep9 - because he's susceptible to peer pressure, he's had anxiety on his back for far too long, pressured to “choose a side” between the people he's known for longer and the people that were there for him when no one else was, and the people that didn't pressure him to pretend to be someone he wasn't. Yada yada ya get the gist.

Him not telling Drew (before ep3) about Zoey cheating on him has nothing to do with either his backstory or character arcs. It's just a bitchy thing he did for unknown reasons

Granted you could say it makes sense in some ways? Like, sometimes I feel like Jake doesn't say much about rather important things because he thinks it's not that important or it'll figure itself out or smth. I don't know what I'm on about. Like in ep9 he didn't feel like bringing uo what he said about them behind their backs because he figured it didn't matter, it wouldn't matter unless he said anything, so he didn't (but they found out anyway). Maybe that's how he felt about the droey situation - like everything would be fine if they just … ignored the truth.

Which actually now that I think about it fits his character a lot.

Perhaps he knew how hurt Drew could be if he knew. Who fucken knows, maybe he unconsciously put himself in Zoey's shoes - as someone who's also hiding a big secrey from someone he couldn't bare to lose, and someone that cares about him and someone who knows he cares about him back. Just like Zoey kinda kinda. Idfk, I'm brainstorming.

(Maybe he was also scared of what Zoey would do to him if he told drew the truth, like she is scary AF lmao.)

Or a combination of reasons - his reckless behaviour, his sort of imperfect and messy outlook on relationships, Zoey, or maybe smth else.

So yeah I guess I don't hate this part of his character anymore actually but I still felt like ranting lmao.

@31days-of-freakblr