#again I think not liking something is so valid
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twoflowers · 2 days ago
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Stiff Shoulders, Weak Knees: Sanji x Reader
Read on AO3
Description: Sanji has been hard at work in the kitchen; you decide his stiff shoulders need a bit of attention. Predictably, Sanji is a mess. You didn't realize it would be quite this easy to get Black Leg Sanji on his knees. (SFW, suggestive)
Tags: Massage, nosebleeds (of course), light fdom, female reader, no use of Y/N, no description of reader, AND: (Sanji's constant need for validation of his cooking skills, Sanji's eternal need to be of use to the people around him, and Sanji's fantasy of being a fairytale knight kissing the hand of a beautiful queen he has pledged undying loyalty to. This man is a dork, people!)
Word count: 1276. Something short and sweet while I work on a longer fic based on a prompt by @mere-mortifer
Give this video a thumbs up if this man should actually get a massage in part 2!
Stiff Shoulders, Weak Knees
Sanji startles when you put a hand on his shoulder, not because he didn't sense you behind him (he could never fail to notice you entering a room, has been feeling pleasant, anticipatory prickling on his scalp and the back of his neck since you entered the kitchen), but because you've never touched him like this before. An occasional brush of arms, sure. A slightly more frequent brush of fingers, absolutely. He only seems to lose his grip on dishes when he's handing them to you, which is by complete coincidence. 
But your hand is firmly on his shoulder, fingers settling above his collarbone even when he turns to look at you.
“May I make anything for you?” He asks automatically. He carefully avoids looking at your hand in case you're touching him by accident - best not to remind you.
You smile fondly. “After tonight's dinner, I don't think I could eat anything else if I tried. It was excellent.”
Sanji can already feel his knees weakening. Excellent: now there's a good word, a perfect word, that he'll hold onto for later. 
“I'm so glad you think so. I thought of you especially while making it.”
“You say that to all the ladies.”
“It's true.”
Your hand is still on his shoulder. You tighten it a bit, perhaps appreciatively, perhaps condescendingly. He isn't sure which option he likes best.
“I brought my plates back down.” You gently set them in the sink with your other hand, and Sanji immediately picks up his sponge again. He doesn't know when he dropped it. 
“I'll get them done right away,” he stutters. “You're sure you don't want anything? A nightcap? Some tea? - I have a wonderful hibiscus from our last time on shore that would pair nicely with-”
“Sanji…” The quirk of your lip makes it certain: you are condescending him. A small shudder racks his shoulders.
“Mm?” His eyes flicker back and forth from you to the dishes. 
“You're working too hard,” you squeeze sharply at his shoulder, and he jumps at the pain. He's biting his lip when he finally makes eye contact, cheeks already starting to flush.
“See? Your muscles are so stiff.” You move behind Sanji, slipping your other hand up his back and to his opposite shoulder. You dig your thumbs into the muscles bracketing his spine, and he jerks forward toward the sink as if pulled by an invisible force. “Does that hurt?”
“You could never hurt me,” he breathes. 
“Oh?” You tighten your grip, thumbs poking deeply into his stiff back and stroking upwards to his neck. Hard, firm pressure. 
Sanji’s hands reach out to grip the edge of the sink. The sponge falls forgotten into soapy water. His knuckles are white, arms trembling. “Nothing… you do to me could ever hurt me.” His voice is wavering in a delicious way. “Even if it’s painful.”
You hum thoughtfully, dipping one of your thumbs under the collar of his shirt. Skin swipes against skin, and Sanji lets out a whine. 
“We can’t have our cook in anything less than peak condition, can we?” You mumble, still thumbing his soft skin. 
Sanji lets out something halfway between a gasp of pleasure and a laugh of disbelief, hands clenching still tighter.
“We need you healthy,” your hands move down his back, resting just under his shoulder blades. “I need your cooking.”
Somehow, that’s what breaks him. He arches forward with a groan, shoulders shaking.
“Let me help you relax,” you offer. “How about a massage?”
One of Sanji’s hands shoots from the sink to under his nose. He audibly swallows; blood dribbles down his fingers as he pulls his hand away. He nods weakly.
“What was that?” You can’t help but prod, not when he’s this vulnerable. Sometimes you feel like Sanji is a big bruise that you can’t help but poke at.
He nods again. Your hands instantly find his waist, thumbs stroking circles through his suit jacket.
“Use your words.”
“Please. Anything.”
“Such good manners,” you coo. You slip your hands away from Sanji, savoring the way his body freezes in anticipation. You take a lace handkerchief from the counter and gently cup his chin, turning his face towards you.
He looks so small, curling forward like he can’t trust his knees to hold him upright. His face is an impressive shade of red, almost as dark as the blood dripping over his plush, bitten lips. His eyes, surprisingly, aren’t as gleaming and heart-shaped as they usually are around you. 
You can’t help but grin at having finally caught him so off-guard. His eyes become wide, almost frantic, as you swipe a thumb over his chin. There you are. Finally, finally, I’ve reached underneath.
You hold his face more firmly and bring the towel up to clean him, but he flinches. Not away from you- you have a feeling he couldn’t move away if he tried.
“I don’t want to stain it,” he all but begs. “It was… I was planning on using it for plating your evening tea.”
“I told you I’m not hungry.” It’s blatant, obvious teasing, but Sanji’s eyes droop miserably nonetheless. 
“Here we go…” You wipe the handkerchief under his nose. Blood saturates lace, and Sanji’s eyes flutter shut in defeat. 
When you’re done, you pull away and fold the cloth carefully. Sanji watches in equal parts confusion, misery, and awe. When you tuck it into your pocket, Sanji gasps, another trickle of blood falling onto his lips.
“I just finished cleaning you up,” you scold. 
Sanji’s lip quivers from the humiliation, but you quickly lean forward and place your lips under his nose. It’s barely a kiss. You pull away shortly after, tongue darting out to taste his still-warm blood. 
Sanji drops to his knees so hard you hear bone hit wood. His shaking hands grasp one of yours, pulling it to his lips: no contact, just puffs of hot, frantic breath. One knee up, and he’d look like a soldier being knighted by his queen. 
“May I?” He’s trembling. He almost looks like he’s salivating. Your hand is small in his, but his are so much softer, skin scrubbed down from washing dishes, still red-tinged from the sink’s hot water.
You nod, and he gasps into the first kiss. His lips linger on the back of your hand, wet and bloody. You flip it over, and he moans, kissing your palm and trailing up your inner arm. The entire time, his eyes are on yours, searching for the faintest hint of displeasure. 
“Sanji?”
He immediately pulls away, breathing hard, still tentatively holding your hand. 
“Yes?” He looks ready for any command. Blood is smeared across his face and up your arm. You didn’t realize it would be quite so easy to get Black Leg Sanji on his knees, but you should have expected as much.
“The goal was to make you more comfortable. You look like you’re hurting your knees.”
Sanji shakes his head with enough ferocity that his bangs are knocked out of place, almost covering his other eye. “I could never complain about being allowed this.” 
He looks at your arm with some panic, then begins to wipe the blood away with his own shirtsleeve. 
“Sanji. Stand up.”
He obeys immediately.
“We are going to go to my quarters,” you say. 
He nods along dumbly. 
“And you are going to lie on my bed.”
His face flushes a brilliant red.
“And I’m going to give you an incredible massage.”
He swallows, swaying forward on his feet. You take the cue to grab him by his tie and lead him down the hallway, dishes long forgotten.
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lottins-only · 2 days ago
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CROSS THE LINE | Jude Bellingham
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pairing: jude bellingham x fem!reader, unnamed fictional RM player x fem!reader
word count: 3.1k
summary: after a fallout with your boyfriend, you find solace in a spontaneous night at the movies, where you run into his golden boy teammate. one thing leads to another and you cross the line.
A/N: first judith fic!! this was really fun to write. (very loosely) based on guilty as sin by taylor swift. let me know what yall think <3
warnings: infidelity (i don't condone it yall its just fun to write morally gray characters 🫣)
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someone once told you there’s no such thing as bad thoughts – that it’s your actions that truly define you.
you wonder what they’d say if they saw you now: sitting up in bed with your boyfriend sound asleep beside you, staring at your phone with a pounding heart, silently hoping, waiting, for a message from someone else.
you wait and wait, but there’s nothing. your home screen stays empty, mocking you. you glance at your boyfriend. his shallow breathing fills the quiet room, steady and oblivious.
he has no idea you came home at 3 a.m. wearing his teammate’s jacket.
you'd stuffed it in the back of your closet as soon as you got home, a relic of a night that shouldn’t have happened. you'd scrubbed yourself thoroughly in the shower, trying to wash away the smell of jude’s cologne that clung to your skin. but it’s still there. not on your skin anymore, but in your mind, stamped into your memory to stay forever. 
the way the flickering lights from the movie theater screen cast shadows on his beautiful face, the fleeting feeling of his warm hands on yours as he handed you his jacket, the full body rumble of his laugh, the feel of his soft lips on yours.
you will never forget. how could you, when that was the first time in months you’d felt seen? desired. wanted. needed. it’s an intoxicating feeling, like stepping into the sunlight after living in the shadows for the longest time.
and now, staring at your phone, you feel it all over again. the pull. the wrongness of it all.
a buzz breaks the silence. your heart jumps into your throat as the screen lights up and a single message appears.
jude: you got home safe?
it’s innocent enough. simple. harmless.
you could ignore it. pretend you didn’t see it. block his number and put an end to whatever this is before it spirals into something else.
but instead, your fingers move on their own accord.
you: yeah. thanks for checking.
you press send before you can stop yourself. you lock your phone and put it on the bedside table before closing your eyes and willing yourself to go to sleep.
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to your credit, none of this was planned. it all starts earlier that night. you and your boyfriend are supposed to have a date night, a rare opportunity to spend some alone time together. you pick out a dress he once says is his favorite and make a dinner reservation at his favorite spot.
but plans change quickly.
“babe, the guys just texted,” he says, barely looking up from his phone. “they’re hopping on fifa in a bit. you don’t mind if we raincheck, right?”
you stare at him dumbfounded as he flops down onto the couch.
“raincheck?” your voice trembles, the tears obvious, yet he doesn’t even glance at you.
“yeah. just tonight, we’ll do something soon,” he says dismissively.
it’s not the first time he’s blown you off, but tonight it stings a little more. maybe it’s the fact that he’s so indifferent to you and your feelings, he doesn’t even care to notice the relationship is teetering on the edge of a cliff. he doesn’t realize that you’re making an effort to save it while he’s unknowingly contributing to its unraveling.
you realized it too late, but you know now you’re not a partner to him, not really. you’re a glorified accessory, someone he can show off for external validation, a dependable constant in his life that’s only there to cheer him on and make him look good while he gives his attention and energy to the things he actually cares about: his friends, his family, and above all, his football.
it wasn’t like this in the beginning, but things changed quickly after he made the move to real madrid and became a bigger star. with every goal, every headline, and every paparazzi photo, you sank further into the background of his life.
you linger for a moment, waiting for him to change his mind, to look up and realize what he’s doing. but he doesn’t. so you grab your bag and leave without saying another word.
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the cinema isn’t your first choice. you wander the streets for a while, debating whether to call a friend or just head home. but you need a distraction, something that can dispel all the thoughts running through your head. so before you know it, you’re buying a single ticket to whatever is playing next.
the theater is almost empty. it isn’t until you sit down and glance at your ticket that you realize you’re not seeing something new, but a re-release of a classic: Goodfellas.
halfway through the movie, you see a figure slip into a seat a few rows ahead of you. a few moments pass, and you feel a pair of eyes boring into the back of your head. it’s distracting, like an itch. you can't bear to ignore it any longer so you turn your head and look straight at the person. the figure quickly shifts his gaze, pretending to be engrossed in the screen. his features are hidden thanks to the hoodie he’s wearing, but his height and broad shoulders give him away as a man.
you hold your gaze for a second longer, just to make sure he gets the message, before turning back to the screen. but your focus is broken after that.
a few more moments pass and you notice the man stand and make his way out of his row. you let out a quiet breath of relief, assuming he’s leaving. but from the corner of your eye, you see the same figure moving toward your seat. your body stiffens immediately. why is he coming your way? maybe it was a bad idea to come to a nearly empty theater alone so late at night.
you watch as he stops in front of you and slightly crouches to not block the view of the screen.
“y/n?” he asks, voice low yet familiar.
“uh, yeah?” you respond warily.
“thought it was you.” he pulls back his hood, revealing the grinning face of jude bellingham.
a wave of embarrassment immediately washes over you. it’s bad enough that your boyfriend doesn’t love you and prefers to spend time playing video games with his friends, but now you have to run into his teammate of all people while you’re publicly wallowing in your misery—his kind, handsome teammate who always makes you flush whenever you cross paths.
this time is no different. your face grows warm as you stutter, “oh! h-hi, jude.”
you brace for the questions: why are you here alone? where’s your boyfriend? why do you have tear stains on your cheeks?
they don’t come though. instead, he gestures to the seat next to you. “mind if i join you? my seat over there was right under the AC; i was freezing.”
you nod. jude flashes you a smile as he takes a seat.
and then nothing. you watch the rest of the movie silently, the only interaction between you being an elbow nudge from him to offer his pack of candy.
he’s completely engrossed. he laughs silently at certain scenes, and in the more intense ones lets out small gasps. for someone else, it might’ve been annoying, but for you, who’s used to your boyfriend’s indifference to everything, you find his enthusiasm refreshing, maybe even a little endearing.
you spend the rest of the movie mentally going through the list of things you know about him : he's the same age as you (your boyfriend begrudgingly posted a birthday wish on his instagram story once), he can't drive (you see him being picked up by a driver whenever you visit valdebebas), he's genuinely nice (he always says hi when he sees you around, and he's politely held a door open for you once or twice), his spanish isn't the best (you once ran into him hopelessly trying to change his order at the canteen, sheepishly apologizing to the annoyed barista before you helped him out), and your boyfriend quietly holds a dislike for him because he's 'attention seeking' ( you secretly think its not his fault that he's charming and easygoing, that he has everyone he meets wrapped around his finger).
when the movie ends and the lights begin to brighten, he turns to you.
"do you wanna get ice cream?"
you hesitate for a moment.
"yeah. i’d love to," you say finally.
you exit the cinema, and when the fresh outdoor air hits you, you ask the question at the tip of your tongue.
"why and how are you here?"
"could ask the same for you," he grins.
"yeah, but—" you begin, but are immediately silenced by the sight in front of you. jude reaches into the pocket of the jacket he's layered over his hoodie and pulls out a dreadlocked toupee. with the straightest face, he carefully pulls down his hood, places the wig on his head, and adjusts it before pulling the hood back up.
you blink.
"you were saying?" the corners of his mouth twitch at your facial expression. without waiting for a reply, he starts walking, leading you away from the cinema.
you walk in tandem, still giving him a confused look. when you catch sight of his (fake) locs swinging along to the rhythm of his steps, you can’t help it; you burst out laughing.
“what’s so funny?” he turns to you, a mock hurt look on his face. “i’m part jamaican, you know.”
you pause your walking, doubling over and clutching your stomach as you laugh. he stands patiently, looking slightly amused.
after you catch your breath and fully recover, you continue walking.
“so that’s how you go places unnoticed?” you ask, still giggling.
“yup,” he says. “otherwise it’s a nightmare. need a bodyguard and stuff.”
you nod sympathetically as you stroll down the quiet street, the soft glow of streetlights casting long shadows on the concrete. jude walks with an easy confidence, his hands in his pockets while you glance over at him and his toupee every so often.
“so,” he says after a moment, glancing sideways at you, “what’s your excuse? why are you at a late night showing of Goodfellas all by yourself?”
your smile falters slightly. you look straight ahead, debating how much to share.
“just needed to get out of the house,” you say with a light tone.
jude doesn’t push, though the way he hums softly in response tells you he notices your answer is only a half-truth.
"what about you?" you ask.
"I like watching movies," he says simply.
when you give him a somewhat confused look, he pulls out his phone and opens the letterboxd app, showing you the extensive list of movies he's marked as watched. you skim through it and you’re surprised by the diversity. the list is seemingly filled with movies of all genres, from classic films to indie flicks. you didn’t expect this side of him, but somehow it makes sense.
as he enthusiastically explains the list, you can't help but feel endeared by the excited look on his face. you have the overwhelming urge to reach out and smooth over his furrowed brow with your finger. but for the first and only time that night, you don't act on that impulse.
you reach a small gelato stand located on a corner of the street, its neon sign glowing softly. jude steps forward and leans against the counter.
“pick whatever you want,” he says, winking as he passes you the menu.
“don’t mind if i do,” you say, raising an eyebrow. you ignore the way his words make you feel—warm and fluttery, like this is a first date between two single people.
after a moment of deliberation, you pick pistachio and hazelnut, watching as jude leans in to order the same for himself.
“you copying me?”
“nah,” he says with a smirk, passing your cone to you from the server. “just figured you have good taste.”
you wander away from the stand, both of you savoring your ice cream. for a while, you walk in comfortable silence. at one point, he removes the ridiculous wig from his head. it isn’t until you reach a park bench that jude breaks the silence.
"you know," he starts. "i haven’t seen you at a lot of games lately. everything good between you and your boyfriend?"
“‘your boyfriend?’” you tease. “why not call him by his name? you guys have beef or something?”
he stays silent.
you gasp half-jokingly. “oh my god! tell me everything, so i can sell the story to the tabloids.”
he lets out a laugh at that.
“you’re ridiculous,” he says, shaking his head, but there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes.
“c’mon, spill,” you tease, nudging his arm lightly. “is he, like, selfish? does he refuse to pass during games?”
jude chuckles, shaking his head again. “nah, nothing like that. he’s a good player. talented, hardworking… you just start noticing things when you’re around someone all the time, you know?”
he says it carefully, almost hesitantly. you tilt your head at him. “notice things like what?”
he shrugs, his gaze dropping to his melting cone. “like… maybe he doesn’t appreciate what he’s got.”
the words hang in the air between you. you don't know how to respond, so you just gaze down at your own ice cream.
"sorry," jude says quickly. "didn't mean to overstep. i just—forget it."
"no, it's fine," you say quietly. "you're not wrong."
you sit in silence for a few moments. you feel him lean back against the bench, and the next time he speaks, his tone is lighter.
"my dad's coming to visit tomorrow," he says casually, an excited undertone in his voice.
"yeah? that's nice. does he come often?"
"not as much as i'd like," jude admits. "he's got my little brother to worry about in sunderland."
you smile softly. “what do you guys usually do when he visits?”
"usually we grab some food..."
he speaks about his bond with his dad, and also his close relationship with both his brother and mother. soon the conversation moves to childhood memories; jude tells you stories about growing up in birmingham, the football academy there, how he met his best friends at school. in return, you share stories of your own childhood, each one met with genuine curiosity from jude. you laugh, the conversation feeling effortlessly easy and natural.
it isn’t until you pull out your phone and glance at the screen to check the time that reality crashes back in. you have a boyfriend waiting for you at home. a boyfriend who hasn’t called, hasn’t texted, hasn’t even noticed that you’ve walked out of his house.
you lick the last remnants of your ice cream and are just about to crunch into the cone when jude gestures toward your chin. “you’ve got a little…” he says, trailing off as he points.
“oh,” you mumble while jude scans your surroundings for a tissue. finding none, he leans in and gently swipes at the bit of ice cream with his thumb.
“got it,” he murmurs, his touch lingering just a second longer than required.
what happens next can only be described as a a lapse in thinking, or maybe something you've been holding back all night. before your brain can catch up with your actions, you grab his hand and bring his thumb to your lips. you lick the ice cream away, your eyes flicking up to meet his.
jude freezes, his breath catching, his deep brown eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your heart race.
"i—" you start, but whatever explanation you're about to give disappears when jude leans closer, his hand hovering near your face, as if waiting for your permission.
you don’t pull away. you don’t want to.
his lips brush against yours, hesitant at first, testing the waters. when you don’t push him away or move back, when, instead, you lean into him, his kiss deepens. it’s slow and deliberate, like he has all the time in the world to memorize every inch of you.
the ice cream cone in your hand is forgotten, melting onto the pavement as your fingers tangle into his hoodie, pulling him closer. the world fades, leaving just the two of you in your little bubble.
when you finally pull apart, your breaths mingle in the night air and jude’s forehead rests against yours.
“jude…” you whisper, but you don’t know how to finish the sentence.
he pulls back just enough to look at you, his expression serious. “tell me if I’ve crossed a line. i don’t want to make things harder for you.”
your heart flutters at the genuine care in his tone. you shake your head. “no, you didn’t.”
he doesn't keep his lips off you after that.
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the next morning, you wake up feeling better than you have in months. there's a lightness in your chest, a warmth that’s been missing for what feels like forever.
you glance at your boyfriend, expecting to feel guilt or remorse. but there’s nothing. no pang of regret, no twist in your stomach. you feel... nothing at all.
you watch him roll out of bed and get ready for training. not a word passes between you as you sit down together in the kitchen to eat breakfast.
“so, what does your day look like today?” you try.
he doesn’t even look up, his attention entirely on his phone, scrolling with one hand while holding his fork with the other.
“i have a meeting at work that’s pretty—“ you start, but he cuts off.
“we’re doing penalty drills,” he mutters without looking up. “need to score more than bellingham so i can wipe that smug smile off his face. did you know he gets paid more than me?”
you just stare at him. you wonder what you even saw in him all those years ago. how had you overlooked the bitterness in his eyes, the envy? how had you missed it all along, his resentment towards anyone who seemed happier, luckier, more successful? his good looking face looks distorted to you now, forever changed to you to reflect the ugliness he holds inside. its as if you’re seeing him for who he really is for the very first time.
your phone buzzes on the table. without even checking, you know who it’s from.
jude: good morning :) sleep well?
you see it for what it is: an invitation to step into dangerous territory, to cross the line once more. a lifeline offering escape from the sinking ship that is your relationship.
you decide to take it.
you type a quick response and set the phone down. your boyfriend is grinning at an instagram reel now, completely absorbed.
you don’t speak to each other for the remainder of breakfast. this time it doesn't bother you at all.
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unluckywisher · 3 days ago
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-> Audiovisual references <- -> AO3 Link <-
Summary: You go with Nero to a Wanderer Convention (the LaDS equivalent of Comic-Con) and shenanigans ensue after you win a cosplay contest...
Content: MDNI Porn with plot, hanging out with Nero, tension between you two, a bunch of cliche situations, Carter cameo because yes, experienced dom!fem!Reader, virgin extremely sub!Nero, coworkers to lovers, handjob, fingering, blowjob, p in v sex with protection (cowgirl to cuddling), overstimulation (crying), pussy eating, pegging, aftercare.
Word count: ~15k (this got out of my hands so fast) (+ extra at the end)
A/N: I wrote this for me and the other 3 freaks in the fandom who like Nero. I had so many ideas and scenes in mind but it honestly felt like too much for ONE fic so... Don't be surprised if I write more stuff for Nero in the future. I'm far from done. Mwah <3
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There was a stillness in the air, uncomfortable for anyone who could feel it. In this case, most of the Hunters in the room could, except for the one who had caused it.
Nero had barged into the floor where you all worked, waving two pieces of paper high in the air, yelling, “I got free tickets for the WandererCon, and they let me bring a +1, so who wants to come!?”
It had been so out of character for him, to be so loud and cheerful, that you all had turned from your desks to stare at him. The question now was, who wanted to go with him? He was the only one that liked Wanderers to that extent.
And so, a silence fell across the room. His expression started to falter, realizing how embarrassing it was to yell such a thing to his coworkers, and the lifted hand with the tickets began to plummet.
“Me! I wanna go!” You jumped, feeling nothing but pity for the poor guy.
He brightened up again, “Really?”
You walked up to him, giving Tara a look, and nodded. “Yeah, when is it?”
Back to his usual introversion, but motivated by your display of interest, he presented the ticket to you. “This weekend… It lasts the whole two days, b-but! We can go at whatever day and time is best for you…”
You took the ticket. It was a bright blue piece of laminated paper with a drawing of a chibi Wanderer waving glow sticks, the words ‘Come wander through WandererCon! Weekend pass for 1. Only valid if presented with its twin ticket.’ were written in glittery white. He was holding an identical one.
There was a choice to make. Clearly, Nero wanted to spend the whole weekend at this event, which would mean sacrificing all of yours for his happiness. Would it really be that bad? It was a once-a-year event, and the guy didn’t really have friends outside of forums to go to this with.
“I’m completely free this weekend, so let’s make the most of it!” You smiled.
Blush creeped up his face, mouth opening and closing a couple of times, fighting the urge to assure you that - No, it’s really okay if you don’t want to spend the whole weekend there - because damn it, he did actually want to do that, and since you were offering so nicely…
“Okay!” He finally exclaimed, clutching his ticket tight.
“We can discuss the details later, we have to go back to work or Jenna will think we’re slacking.”
“R-right, yeah, of course…” He stumbled over to his desk, glancing at you once over his shoulder before disappearing behind his wall of monitors.
On your way back to yours, Tara rolled his chair closer, whispering, “That was nice of you. You know, I doubt he would have complained if you had only offered an hour of your time.”
“It’s fine. I really didn’t have plans for this weekend, anyways.”
“Have fun. And good luck with Nero… He’s probably going to be very excitable.”
You chuckled. “Thanks. I’ll buy you something.”
Hours later, it was time to head back home.
You turned off your computer and walked over to Nero’s. He was typing up a storm and didn’t notice you approaching. An extensive document analyzing the material and composition of Wanderer’s body-formed blades, and whether or not they can be considered an exoskeleton. You recalled Jenna asking for such a report earlier, but you didn’t expect a whole dissertation about it. Squinting, you could see that there were… 143 pages of text, all written today.
“Damn, fast fingers…” You muttered, before realizing you had said it out loud.
The typing stopped abruptly. “What?” He swiveled in his chair, face pale in shock, not quite meeting your eyes.
“Nothing! I just, um, came here to say ‘I’ll text you later to discuss what we’ll do tomorrow’, so, yeah, message delivered. I’ll leave now.” You waved goodbye, smiling awkwardly.
“Okay.” He nodded, waving back. He was still recovering from your words, though he couldn’t tell if he had heard correctly.
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You arrived home and sighed. Were you truly ready for the activities of the next two days? Only time could tell.
After having dinner, now relaxing in your living room, you opened the messaging app. You couldn’t remember the exact moment you two had exchanged phone numbers, but this would be the first time you had texted each other, and the revelation made you strangely self-conscious about what your introductory message should be. Shaking your head, you went for something simple.
-> CLICK HERE TO PLAY THE TEXT MESSAGES! <-
Your patience be damned, you were determined to help Nero have a good time at the convention no matter what. Setting the phone down, you walked to your closet and rummaged around for the Lumiere costume, which was pleasantly clean and ready to be worn.
Goal in mind, you went to bed, ready for whatever the weekend would bring.
The alarm went off, signaling the start of your (most probably) eventful day. You rolled out of bed, had breakfast, took a shower, and commenced the Lumierification. 
In theory, it was simple, but it took you a minute to manage to fully zip up the dress since you couldn’t reach, and the thigh highs refused to stay on your thighs until you used fashion tape, not to mention the mask kept tilting to one side.
Eventually, everything was perfectly in place, hair and make up as well. Just in time, too, since the clock now read 10:30. You grabbed your bag and made your way out.
Parked outside was an unremarkable small gray car, but that was the last thing in your thoughts. Leaning on it with his arms crossed, stood a perfect recreation of a Luminivore, so much so that your first instinct was to reach for your gun - even if you weren’t carrying it.
Whatever cool and composed attitude Nero had went right out of the window once he saw you approach, uncrossing and crossing his arms again only to uncross them and scratch the back of his neck, which he couldn’t, because of the costume, so he let them drop and shifted on his feet.
“You- You said-,” he coughed, sound muffled through the headpiece, “I thought you were going to wear-”
You looked down at yourself. Ooooh, right. He was probably expecting a male version of the costume.
“My bad, sorry for the confusion,” you waved a hand in the air, chuckling, “I guess I’m a female version of Lumiere. Is that okay?”
“Okay?” he said a little louder than intended, “Yes, of course- Of course it’s okay.”
You stepped closer to look at his costume. “This looks amazing, by the way.”
He froze.
“Don’t tell me you drove here wearing that helmet, though, because… That seems dangerous.”
He quickly shook his head. “N-no, I didn’t, I just wanted to show you the whole thing put together…”
“Ah, good,” you lifted your hand to touch one of the glowing ridges on his arm, “You did a great job. Looks just like the real thing.”
“Thanks,” he squeaked out.
You clapped your hands together and smiled. “Well, let’s go! We have a great day ahead of us!”
The noise made him straighten up. He nodded and reached up to take off the headpiece. Under it, he looked like always, glasses lopsided and hair a bit ruffled from wearing the Wanderer’s head, but nothing different. You also took note of the red hue on his cheeks, but you attributed it to the same cause as the others. He smiled and gestured for you to get in the car.
The drive was mostly silent, except for the music coming from the radio. Nero had asked you if you wanted to put on your own playlist because ‘his music taste was bad’, but you shook your head, so he settled for the radio. Otherwise, neither of you talked.
You decided to look up what the event’s activities were. He had probably planned it out already, but you were still curious.
A lecture on Wanderers by a Xander scientist, a card tournament - you didn’t know they sold cards, a Meet and Greet with some renowned Hunters, a cosplay contest, a Twinkle Toys plushie reveal, a DIY Protocore candy station… The list went on. It seemed like people took this more seriously than you thought. There were also many merch stands all over the enclosure.
One of the activities stood out to you, though.
“Are you going to enter the cosplay contest?”
He gripped the steering wheel, “N-no. Why are you asking..?”
“You should! You have a shot at winning with yours.”
“Mmm… I don’t know. I’d have to go up a stage, with so many people looking…”
“It’s up to you. In my opinion, you could win, but I might be biased because we’re friends,” you giggled.
He chuckled, brow a bit furrowed.
An hour later, you arrived at the place where the convention would be held. It turned out that there was a parking lot reserved for those attending, so you didn’t have to go in circles looking for an empty spot.
You got out of the car and stretched, looking around. Quite a few people - some in costume, some not - were already gathering at the entrance.
Nero put the headpiece back on and walked a few steps towards the crowd, before stopping and turning to make sure you were following. He tilted his head in a “coming?” gesture.
Sliding your tote bag up your shoulder, you skipped along.
A queue rapidly formed, with a coordination you didn’t expect from a group of sleep deprived nerds. Some of them looked at you - more like ogled at you. Great.
“QuantumSocialite?” A random guy approached Nero, calling him by his username. His friends gasped and whispered among themselves.
“...Yes?”
“Dude, it’s me, LuxLuxLucis.”
“The Lightchasers mod? Oh, wow!”
“You really wore the costume! It looks insane. You’re a legend. The material looks so accurate, how did you do it?”
“Thank you. I analyzed many Luminivore pictures and samples of their chitinous exterior, then compared what materials would be best to use without risking the quality while…”
Aaand just like that, you stopped paying attention. Instead, you noticed how this guy’s friends kept whispering stuff and giggling while looking at Nero. They were giving you major bad vibes. Pretending to be still listening to the incomprehensible yapping, you shuffled closer and eavesdropped on what they were saying.
“...paid her to come along with him.”
“For sure, he’s chronically online and he made that costume, there’s no way a female is hanging out with him willingly.”
“Wow, you guys know a lot about Wanderers,” you said pointedly, joining Nero’s conversation, “I’m actually learning a lot. I’m really happy I was the one that got to be your +1 and not our coworkers,” you gave him a warm smile.
The whispering ceased, now replaced by confused looks. He was completely still, his thoughts a mystery since his face was hidden.
“If you want to learn about Wanderers, you’re in good hands,” said the guy he was talking to, “He’s the most knowledgeable in that area.”
“I know! He really is. I’m really lucky we came together.”
Nero looked down at his clawed gloves, fidgeting with them. The two trash talkers were staring in anger, which you interpreted as jealousy since they were most likely projecting. Suck it.
Just then, an announcement rang out, stating the opening of the gates and the inauguration of the convention. Everyone got their tickets ready and began entering the place.
People were getting a bit pushy and the crowd got thick around you, so you hooked your arm around Nero’s to avoid getting lost or trampled, feeling safer next to his bulky costume. He jerked his head towards you, then realized why you were standing that close to him, and folded his arm to let you hold onto him better. An imperceptible tremble ran across his body.
You both walked to the gates and presented your tickets.
“Alright, let’s see… Couples’ weekend passes… Everything looks in order! Have fun,” the staff member smiled.
“...couples’?” You asked when he was out of earshot.
“W-wait, n-no, I- I didn’t, I mean-,” he gestured wildly with his hands, “They w-were given to me, you remem-ber, how I said, I said I got them for f-free? But I didn’t want to uhh… Um, to make it weird! At the office! S-so I skipped the fact that they were for, uh, couples…”
You chuckled, “Nero, it’s okay, I was asking out of pure curiosity. I have nothing against them being for couples.”
“O-oh. Okay. Right. Ha…” He visibly relaxed at your reassurance.
“So, what do you want to do first?”
“I was thinking we could walk around and see all the stands. Should be enough time until the first scheduled event…”
“Sure! Let’s go.”
It was a big space with rows of stalls selling merch, but also ‘official’ booths, including a Hunter’s equipment showcase, one for the show Super Hunters - with exclusive art never seen before, another with Lumiere memorabilia straight from Linkon’s History museum, Wanderers’ life-sized replicas…
Obviously, you visited all of these with Nero. Even took a picture of him next to the Luminivore replica per his request. It was cute seeing him struggle to find a good pose.
“The lecture is going to start soon… I’m going to head over there, but if you’re not interested, you don’t have to go.”
“The Xander lecture? No, I’m going with you,” you said with determination. You didn’t tell him that it was because you thought they were shady as hell and this was a good opportunity to get further information about them, but it’s not like he needed to know.
With Nero’s planning, you managed to get a good seat at the lecture hall before it filled up. He took off the headpiece to be able to see better and to avoid bothering the people behind him, placing it on his lap. Both your bags rested between your feet.
A staff member appeared, microphone in hand. “Hello everyone, and welcome to Xander Sciences’ lecture on the nature of Wanderers. Without further delay, let me introduce the man who will be speaking today, Dr. Carter!”
Everyone clapped as the man himself walked onstage. You were immediately on high alert, eyes trained on him.
“Thank you, thank you. It’s a pleasure to be here,” he took the microphone.
The next hour was spent picking at every word he said, trying to find any kind of incriminating loose threads, but it was clear the lecture was well rehearsed and none of what he said was useful to you, even if the way he talked about Wanderers put you on edge.
At the end, you grabbed Nero’s arm and pulled him along, “I want to talk to Dr. Carter for a moment.”
“Okay,” he followed, cheeks pink.
The rest of the attendants walked to the exit, which gave you a clear path towards the stage’s stairs.
“Dr. Carter!” You called out, waving your hand up.
He stopped for a moment, surprised to see you there. He smiled, “Ah, Miss Hunter, it’s a pleasure to see you again. I didn’t know I’d have such esteemed listeners in the audience today,” he extended his hand to shake yours. You didn’t.
“It’s an honor to meet you in person, Dr. Carter, that was a very insightful lecture,” said Nero.
“The honor is mine. You seem to be a Wanderer enthusiast,” he looked at his costume.
“He’s my coworker,” you cut in, putting a little more emphasis on ‘my’ than you intended, “don’t bother trying to recruit him for anything.”
“As cold as ever I see, Miss Hunter. It was a simple observation, I didn’t even say anything.”
“Why did you decide to give a lecture here, Dr. Carter?” You ignored his remarks.
“Why not? I’ve done a lot of research on Wanderers, and I thought it’d be best to share my knowledge with those seeking it.”
You were sure there was something more to this than that, but you doubted he would outright admit it. It could even be something much simpler, shameless Xander Sciences publicity to make people interested in being under their care, whatever that entailed. You hoped people wouldn’t fall for it.
He continued, “Since you’re here, you wouldn’t by chance be interested in a quick chat between us, would you?” He took half a step closer.
You felt a weight around your shoulders, pulling you back. Nero, who had been silently watching, spoke with a frown.
“She clearly wants nothing to do with you. What do you think you’re doing?”
You looked at him, eyebrows raised. He had a very determined look on his face, one you had only seen when someone insulted Lumiere in his vicinity, and to be honest, he was kind of intimidating. Kind of.
The tension could be cut with a knife. They glared at each other for what felt like an eternity. If it was your turn to say anything, they were out of luck, because you had no idea what to say. Finally, Carter stepped back and slid his hands in his pockets.
“Have fun in the convention, Miss Hunter. And your Wanderer pet too,” he smirked.
He walked away, leaving you both huffing at his arrogance. No, actually, as you looked at Nero, you discovered you were the only one huffing. He was tomato red.
“You had more things planned for today, right?” You snapped him out of it.
“A-ah, yes,” he pushed his glasses up, “let’s go have lunch.”
There were food trucks stationed outside of the convention center. The walk helped Nero calm down, though he couldn’t seem to look you in the eye. He wished he could put the headpiece back on, but it was a pointless action since you were about to eat and he’d have to take it off again.
After some deciding, you settled for skewers of deep fried chicken that were easy to eat standing up. You chose the honey sauce, he chose the sweet and sour sauce. For something so simple, it was delicious - the queue you had to wait was definitely worth it.
“Do you want to try mine?” You held up a skewer to him.
His eyes darted between it and your face, blinking.
“I mean, we got different flavors, so…” You shrugged.
At that, he shook his head like he was getting rid of his thoughts, then nodded.
“Okay. I’ll trade you- Mhmph!?”
You didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence - ‘one of my skewers for one of yours’ - not that you had heard the beginning of it in the first place. All you heard was him agreeing to try yours. 
You shoved the skewer into his mouth.
It took him a moment to understand what just had happened, but when it dawned on him, he turned red again. You were confused as to why he was staring at you instead of biting.
“...”
“...”
He bit down and gently pushed your hand away.
“How is it? Good, right?”
“Y-yes…”
“Can I try yours now?”
He lifted a skewer to give it to you in hand, but you-
“Aaah…” You opened your mouth expectantly.
The chances of him surviving this weekend decreased with every minute he spent by your side. Alas, he moved the skewer closer to your mouth with a trembling hand. You met him halfway and bit down on it, causing him to flinch.
You tore off a piece of the fried chicken, relishing in the taste with a “mmmm” as you chewed. By this point, he was fully looking away, covering his mouth with his gloved hand; it was so difficult to keep a clear mind.
“Yours is really good too!”
He hummed in response.
After finishing the food, a few people in cosplay walked past, followed by more, and more groups. The contest must have been about to start.
“You’re really not going to participate?” You asked.
Nero shook his head. He had put the helmet back on, to feel less ‘exposed’ more than anything.
“Is there any way I could convince you? What if we went together? You wouldn’t be alone,” you pulled out your phone, “I read there’s exclusive merch as reward for the winners that won’t be obtainable otherwise, and, look, there’s even a surprise prize for the couples’ category.”
You swore you heard him inhale sharply.
“We already have the couples’ tickets, don’t we? What’s the harm?”
You knew you were pushing him a bit too much, but you were sure that deep down he wanted to join the contest, all he needed was some bribing convincing, and limited merch was sure to do the trick.
“…Do you really want to join?”
“Yeah! It’ll be fun. Unless you think my costume isn’t that good. I don’t want to bring our score down.”
“No, no, no! Your costume is perfect! You look perfect. It would be great if we went together, actually…”
It was crazy to you that he got flustered over the smallest things but was able to say that to you with no trouble. Maybe he didn’t notice what he just said.
“Great! Let’s go register, then!”
Following the cosplayers, you walked back inside towards the hall where the contest would be held. They all looked fantastic, from many other Lumieres, to Wanderers of all kinds (a girl dressed as Heartbreaker was so cute), to characters from the Super Hunters show. All could be winners. But you looked to your left to the nervous mess that was walking alongside you, and you were certain that he would score the highest.
Names written, you were given the number 34 to go onstage. While you waited for your turn, you made sure everything about your costumes was in place. You even managed to convince him to practice some poses.
“I’m not sure about this…” He fidgeted with one of the protruding crystals on his elbow.
“We’re already inscribed, you can’t chicken out now.”
“I… There’s so many people here…”
“Nero,” you swatted his hand away so he wouldn’t ruin his own costume, “forget about them. Don’t look at them. Just look at me. We’re going to crush this, okay?”
He nodded faintly.
“When we go up there, keep your eyes on me if you want. Pretend the judges don’t exist.”
“O-okay.”
And so he did. When you two went onstage, his eyes didn’t stray from you. Not as you unsheathed your sword and struck a pose, not as you pretended to fight him, not as you gave a final smile and bow to the judges, not as you grabbed his arm and dragged him off the stage. The thing was, hadn’t you told him to keep his eyes on you, he still would have. He had been marveling at you from the corner of his eye whenever he had worn the helmet.
“You did great, Nero!” You clapped, giddy. “We’re gonna win for sure!”
He fidgeted under your praise, “Thank you.”
The rest of the contestants had their turn, which made you increasingly nervous; you wanted to know the results as soon as possible. You had gone through the trouble of convincing Nero, it would be a shame if you didn’t get at least a minor prize.
“And now, on the couples’ category…” The voice of the presenter echoed backstage, “In third place, couple 52!” Applause. The respective couple walked out. “In second place, couple 19!” More applause. They walked out, too. “Before we announce first place, a few honorable mentions…” Oh, come on. 
“It’s okay if we don’t win,” Nero said with a soft voice.
You took his hand, “We are going to win.”
You had only taken his hand to calm down your own nerves, excitement and anticipation coursing through your veins, but it also helped him relax slightly, as long as he didn’t think too hard about the fact that he was holding your hand.
“In first place…” You both tensed up. “Couple 34!”
He squeezed your hand in reflex. Time stopped for a second. It wasn’t until a staff member pushed you both towards the stage that your face broke into a big smile, jumping and shaking Nero.
You were received with applause, like the previous couples. They made you walk to the center of the stage, standing between the other two pairs of winners, who were also clapping. The judges spoke.
“Congratulations to all of the winners, and thank you to everyone who participated. If you may all please take off the parts covering your faces so we can see our champions properly…”
The couples beside you took off theirs, you took off the Lumiere mask, and Nero took off the helmet. Applause followed. He smiled shyly, looking around at the crowd. Confetti rained down. Lost in the excitement of the moment, you moved closer to give Nero a kiss on the cheek. Just as he was turning to you.
Now, it’s not like you kissed him. But your lips did land on the corner of his mouth. 
You blinked at each other.
“H-HUH?” He reeled back, covering his flushed face.
No time to explain yourself, as the staff members brought the prizes and shoved them into your hands. A large basket filled with all kinds of merch was given to all three pairs of participants.
“And for the couple who placed first, a special bonus! WandererCon has collaborated with a nearby hotel for a unique experience, offering you both a one-night stay!”
The staff gave you some documents detailing everything.
“That concludes this years’ contest…” The judge continued, but you weren’t listening anymore.
Because if what the documents said was true, you were about to spend the night with Nero in a room with one bed. Judging by the look on his face, he had just read that part, too.
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“We have to tell them, that there’s been a… Um. A mistake,” he told you later, sitting on a bench, helmet back on to hide his expression.
“What if we tell them that we’re not a couple and they take away our prizes? They would question why we entered the couples’ category if we’re not one,” you reasoned.
The thought of losing the merch made him pause.
“It’ll be fine. I read that the room has a couch. One of us can sleep on it. And! Did you read the part about the Wanderer-themed food they’ll be serving us for dinner and breakfast? That sounds amazing.”
“Yeah… It does…” 
In the end, he relented. That’s how you found yourself taking the keys to the room in the hotel’s reception, where you were informed of all the amenities and services provided.
A few of the guests gave you weird looks, but the receptionist asked to take a picture with you both.
“You must be the winners of the contest!” She had said with excitement. “Well, lovebirds, enjoy the room,” she added at the end of her explanation, winking.
The ride in the elevator was awkward after that moment. Floor 1… Floor 2… Floor 3… All the way to floor 6.
Luckily, the luxuriousness of the room took over all of your thoughts as you stepped in. It made you wonder what WandererCon could gain by partnering with this hotel for such a sum of money spent on this suite.
“The description on the document did not do this place justice,” you commented.
“Yeah… That sofa is bigger than my bed back at home…” He took off the helmet to see the place better.
The floor-to-ceiling windows gave you a view of the hotel’s garden below. A massive TV hung from the wall, coffee table and sofa in front of it. There was even a kitchenette in a corner, minifridge filled to the brim with free stuff that you couldn’t help but want to try right away just because it was free.
To the left, the entrance to the bedroom. If the sofa was already big enough to sleep, the canopy bed must’ve been king size. On it, a pair of folded pajamas and a change of underwear had been left, as well as a gift basket filled with…
“I’m going to put that away,” you said promptly, not giving Nero the chance to process its contents.
You opened the wardrobe and shoved it in the lowest space available.
“Woah… Look at this,” he beckoned from the bathroom door.
Peeking from his shoulder, the only word that you could really use to describe what you were seeing was lavish. Marble floors and walls, a massive shower, a massive sink under a massive mirror, and of course, to top it off, a massive jacuzzi. The reason for their sizes being that they were meant to be used by two people at once.
Room fully explored, you sat down on the sofa to discuss what to do next.
“They’ll bring us dinner as soon as we ask for it. I don’t know about you, but I want to take a shower and change first,” you said, taking off some of the costume’s accessories.
“Uh, yeah, no, I agree. You can use the bathroom first, I’ll go after you.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
You took the provided clothes and stepped into the bathroom, feeling tiny. It was easy to take off most of what you were wearing, except the same item that gave you trouble when you first got Lumierefied: The dress. You tried to reach the zipper at the top of your back from different angles, but you couldn’t get enough leverage to pull it down.
“Damn it.”
Nero was on his phone when you walked back to the sofa, presumably on one of his forums.
“Hey.”
He almost dropped his phone, startled. “Yeah?” He turned to you.
“I can’t unzip my dress. Would you mind helping me?”
Instantly red. And phone dropped.
You turned around to show him the zipper. “If you pull it a bit I think I can reach the rest of the way.”
He had taken off his clawed gloves already to be able to use his phone, so he had no excuse to procrastinate. As he moved to stand behind you, you could feel his shaky breaths on your nape, and you could swear you heard his heart hammering in his chest.
Ziiip.
It was faster than you had expected. Then again, you guessed he wanted to be done with it as soon as possible.
“T-there.”
“Thank you!”
Back in the bathroom, you took off the dress and turned on the shower. If you had been on your own, you would have tried the jacuzzi, but you didn’t want to take up too much time.
The water was nice and hot, not to mention the shampoo and gel given by the hotel smelled really good. Like coconut.
You finished showering and wrapped a towel around your body, drying your hair a bit too. There were a few steps in your post-shower routine that you usually went through, but you remembered that Nero was quite resolute about cleanliness and would want to use the shower as soon as possible, so in the name of efficiency, you took your clothes and lotions out of the bathroom and into the bedroom.
“I’m done! You can go now,” you called out.
“Okay!”
He came trotting through the door, only to freeze and cover his eyes with his hands upon seeing your towel-clad form.
“Y-you said you were d-done…” His voice got quieter and quieter.
“I am! I know you like being clean, and you already did me a favor by letting me go first, so you can shower while I finish changing here!”
“It’s okay… Really, I, I can wait…”
“Nonsense. Come on.”
You grabbed his set of clothes and pushed them into his hands, forcing him to look at you, the way you wet hair clung to your skin, your flushed cheeks due to the heat of the water, the dangerously low point the towel was resting on your chest- He swallowed.
Completely ignoring his wandering eyes, moreso because it amused you, you grabbed his arm and forced him into the bathroom.
“See? Was that so difficult?”
You closed the door before he could answer, but he had little to say.
Time to finish your self-care routine. You grabbed the body moisturizer and started applying it to your arms and legs, the texture soft. Would they tell you the brand if you asked in the hotel’s reception?
While you pondered this, there was a crash.
“Nero…? You okay?”
“U-uh, yeah! I- I fell trying to get this off…”
“Having trouble with your costume, too? Yours looks harder to put on and take off than mine.”
“I didn’t really have trouble putting it on, but now…”
“Okay, let me help,” you knocked.
The door opened a crack, then closed as soon as he saw you.
“You- Ah, mm… Change first.” 
“I can’t put on the pajamas yet, I have to let the lotion dry. Just come out.”
One second of silence. Two seconds of silence. The door opened again.
Making a gesture with your hands for him to move closer, you instructed him to lean down so you could pull off the upper part of the costume. He was glad he didn’t have to look at you and could look at the floor instead.
It was difficult to find the right amount of force to use, since you didn’t want to ruin it, but you had to get it unstuck.
So you pulled, and pulled, and pulled, each time with a bit more strength- Too late. The piece came off, but now there was no time to brake. You stumbled back, making Nero stumble forward, the costume part flying off backwards over your head and landing on the other side of the room… Just as you landed on the floor and Nero on top of you.
“Ow…” You reached to rub your head. At least there was a carpet.
“I- Uh- Um- I-”
You blinked your eyes open to see why Nero was speechless now. Ah. The towel.
It wasn’t completely off, but a straight line of skin was exposed from your right shoulder to your right thigh. That included half of your chest.
The rest was covered, but it’s not like it mattered right now.
He couldn’t function. His eyes were glued to your body, and his face was poppy red. Even his glasses were fogging up.
“Oh, please,” you rolled your eyes, “Nero, it’s a body part. You’ve never seen a body?”
He didn’t answer, still overwhelmed.
Well, since this had happened, you might as well have fun.
“Look.”
You grabbed his hand that was planted next to your head and pressed it to your breast, lifting an eyebrow.
“See? Just a body part.”
He squeaked and reeled back, pulling his hand free and crawling away from you. You sat up with a mischievous smile.
“Be honest,” you started, crawling towards him, “you like all this, don’t you? When I’m close to you, when I pay attention to you, when I touch you…”
He whimpered in response. The towel had fully fallen off by now.
“You act all shy, but we both know… You’ve been wanting this from the beginning.”
You reached him, caging him beneath you as he lay flat on the ground to stay as far away from you as possible. He was wearing a white T-shirt under the upper part of the costume, but he had yet to remove the bottom half, and you were certain that there was no space for him to wear pants of any kind under it, so he must be in boxers.
“I won’t do anything else unless I have your permission. If you want me to continue, you have to say it.”
Droplets from your wet hair fell on his face. Somehow, he managed to keep eye contact.
“You…” His chest fell and rose. “K-kiss me again, like before? P-please…”
Right, the accidental kiss. Had he been thinking about it this whole time? It was a quite innocent request compared to the situation you had put him in, but surprisingly direct coming from Nero.
His eyes darted to your lips several times, but he didn’t dare move.
“You want me to kiss you,” you repeated, then smirked, “is that all?”
He made a sound of protest and frustration. His fingers clutched the carpet in an attempt to hold himself back from doing anything embarrassing. He shook his head.
“No? What else? Use your words, pretty boy.”
His hand flew to his mouth. Did you really just call him that? You chuckled.
“Fine, we’ll take it slow.”
You pulled his hand away and pinned his arms to the floor. Slowly, so slowly, you leaned down until your lips brushed against his. Nothing more than a feather touch had him already gasping.
“Let’s see…” You whispered, “this is what I did before.”
Repeating what had happened in the contest, you kissed the corner of his lips. This time, however, letting the contact last longer, and making sure that a ‘mmm’ sound reverberated into the kiss.
When you pulled away, Nero was practically panting. His body squirmed under you, but you were certain it wasn’t because he wanted to escape your cruel intentions.
“There. That’s what you asked for.”
“W-wait!” Afraid that you were going to leave him like that, he found his voice again, “I want… Uhm- If you could, ah…”
“All you have to do is ask for it.”
He closed his eyes tight, as if saying these next words took all of his strength, “Do whatever you want with me.”
Your eyes widened. Oh, wow. He was actually a freak. Always the shy ones… You huffed a laugh, brushing the tip of your nose across his cheek to prompt him to open his eyes.
“Whatever, huh. Let’s be sensible. Just in case, let’s agree on a safe word,” you looked at him with genuine consideration.
He nodded, growing increasingly nervous at the thought of what you were about to do to him.
“How about… ‘Protocore’?”
“O-okay,” he knew this wasn’t a silly matter, so he was trying his best to be verbal about it.
“Alright, test it out. When should you say it?”
“Um… When I, if I feel uncomfortable… I should say p-protocore.”
“Good boy.”
Those two words made bumps appear all over his arms. You smiled with amusement.
That matter settled, your eyes made a very deliberate path to his lips. Since you were holding his wrists, your finger rested right over the pulse point there, showing you just how fast his heart had started beating at your gaze.
He tilted his head up to get himself the smallest bit closer to you, practically begging for a kiss. An actual proper kiss.
Your lips pressed against his, finally. You noticed they were slightly chapped, the texture rough in contrast to your softness, but that only made you want to run your tongue over them. So you did.
He instantly opened his mouth in response. You plunged your tongue into his mouth, which earned you a muffled whimper. He swiped his tongue against yours with caution, growing more comfortable as you kept going. It became messy very fast due to his inexperience, the deeper you kissed him, the more he started drooling.
Despite that, he was a very desperate kisser. Like he didn’t believe this was happening, nor it would ever happen again in the future, so he might as well go all out in the present.
You pulled back and licked your lips, looking down at his state. His glasses, apart from foggy, were now crooked, and a line of drool ran down his chin. You licked it up.
“I’m curious,” you announced with an air of mystery.
He tilted his head, silently asking ‘about?’. Not answering, you moved to sit next to him, setting his arms free. He mentally debated if he should touch your naked body with his newfound freedom, but he didn’t have time to reach a conclusion as your hand slid to his pants - still part of the costume - and pulled them off, along with his underwear.
He froze in flustered silence, completely exposed to you. Part of him wanted to cover himself up, it was too embarrassing to let you see his fully erect leaking dick, he felt too self-conscious about it, but the other part of him was curious to know your opinion. Maybe if you insulted him now, it would be easier for him to accept that he had fumbled you once he got back home.
But, you didn’t say anything.
No, as you stared at the 8-inch cock in front of you, you really didn’t have anything to say. Always the shy ones indeed.
With almost wonder in your eyes, you wrapped a hand around it. Nero twitched.
“W-wait, mh-”
He pushed himself up on his elbows, reaching to grab your wrist with half-lidded eyes. You didn’t move your hand, but returned your gaze to his expression.
“Wait? For what?”
“I just, well, you were kissing me and- I’m not saying I didn’t like it, t-the opposite, but well I’m nervous now, so… Uh, not yet because, because I-”
Cutting him off, you started pumping up and down, precum helping you slide along his length. He bit down hard on his lip to prevent a moan.
“W-wait! I! Ah-”
He let go of your hand in order to keep himself lifted on his elbows.
“Stop, s-stop, I’m too sensitive-”
You didn’t let up. If anything, you sped up, brushing your thumb across the tip.
“I don’t see how that’s a problem,” you said with a smirk.
“B-because, mh, fffh…” His words became higher pitched and whiney, “I don’t-”
His worst nightmare was realized right then. Having any sort of sexual interaction with a beautiful girl and cumming in less than thirty seconds. How pathetic of him, he thought.
The cum spilled over your hand and shot all across his T-shirt, his abdomen and legs shaking. His elbows gave out and he fell on his back.
“I’m s-orry- I’m sorry, I’m so- sorry-” Was the only thing he said through the orgasm, covering his eyes.
You stood up and left to go to the bathroom, and it solidified the fact for him: You thought he was disgusting and wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.
Nothing further from the truth, as you returned with a damp towel after cleaning your hand to help him clean up. You moved his hands away from his face and repositioned his glasses.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated.
“What for?” You asked now that he had calmed down somewhat, handing him the towel.
“Mm… I, I came too fast…”
“But I wanted you to cum.”
“W-well, yeah, but, you know, that’s uhh…”
He didn’t look you in the eye as he cleaned himself and took his stained shirt off.
“It’s what?”
“Kinda… Pathetic…?”
He stood up and realized you were both completely bare in front of the other, and he still hadn’t touched you. The passing contact of his palm on your breast burned his skin.
“Maybe, but I found it hot.”
The blush returned to his face. He looked down and started fidgeting with his hands. You remembered he was about to shower before all of this happened, so you slid your hand in his and led him to the bathroom.
“Um, what are you-”
“I’ve been wanting to try the jacuzzi.”
“Oh.”
Water started filling the tub. In the meantime, you turned to Nero and stepped closer. He wanted to put his hands on you so badly, but he was too embarrassed to try. 
Honestly, you just wanted to eat him up.
“Relax. We’re just going to take a bath, and then we’ll have dinner.”
“Yeah… Okay.”
You reached up and gently took off his glasses. Before setting them aside, you tried them on, curious, only to find he had a very high prescription. Even though you were blurry, the way you widened your eyes wasn’t missed and it made him giggle. As you looked at him, he coughed to cover up his laugh and looked away.
“I’d give you um, a compliment, about how they look on you but, you know uh… I can’t really see. Although I k-know for a fact that you look good in them because, because you… You look g-good in anything…”
You took them off and put them near the sink, then kissed his cheek.
“Thank you.”
Your bodies brushed when you got closer, and he instinctively lifted his hands with fear as if to say ‘I didn’t touch you on purpose! I’m not a pervert!’.
You shook your head and facepalmed. He panicked again at your gesture.
“Nero, I just gave you a handjob,” you sighed, “You know what? It’s okay. Forget that happened, maybe I went too fast. Let’s start from the beginning.”
You turned off the faucet, water having reached an acceptable level, and gestured for him to get in first. Like a small animal in distress, he followed your command and sank into the water, cowering because you seemed angry - you weren’t.
Before he could protest, you entered and sat on his lap, facing him, straddling his thighs. His hands gripped the edges of the tub.
“You said-!”
“And I meant it! Calm down, I just want you to get more comfortable with me. My body. Not every skin to skin contact has to be about sex.”
He relaxed the tiniest bit.
“Now, put your hands on my waist. And you have to understand, I want you to touch me. I’m not going to judge you for doing that. I was the one who put your hand on my chest!”
He nodded along with your explanation, sliding his hands down the white marble and bringing them to your sides. It still felt forced.
“Tell me something. Do you want to touch me?”
“Yes! Y-yes…” He sank his mouth underwater, blowing a few bubbles.
“Then do it. I give you full permission to move your hands wherever you want. Would you rather I… Don’t look?” You tilted your head. “Is that it? You feel judged if I’m looking at you?”
“A bit…”
“Okay.”
You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned forward, resting your head against your bicep. Your chest pressed against his. He got hard again.
A few moments passed, but seeing you weren’t moving nor saying anything, he began to slide his hands up. You could feel his warm face pressed to your cheek.
He stopped right when he felt your breasts, gathering the courage to continue. As gently as he could, he cupped each breast in his hands until his palms were flush with your skin.
“C-can I… squeeze or will that hurt you?”
“As long as you don’t do it very hard, it’s fine.”
Worried about how hard was ‘very hard’, he squeezed with barely any force, then ran his thumbs across your nipples. That made you exhale.
He froze.
“That feels good,” you reassured him.
“Oh, okay,” he was taking mental notes of every piece of information.
He continued his exploration, moving his hands down this time, to your thighs. The sound of water and his echoey breathing were the only noise in the bathroom, since you hadn’t turned on the jacuzzi function yet.
He squeezed them, too, sliding his way up, but staying on the outer part.
“You’re- Very um, soft.”
“I think it’s the lotion I just used, but thanks,” you kissed his cheek, “your hands feel nice.”
“A-are you going to, uh, kiss me every time I compliment you?”
“Yeah, why not.”
“Well, I think you’re very pretty, b-but! Obviously that’s not the only thing about you, I mean, you’re a great Hunter and you’re very intelligent, every time you come back from a mission and I read your reports it’s always amazing to see how efficient you are, and you’re so much fun to spend time with, I-I’m very happy you came with me- Ah! I didn’t tell you before but you wear the costume so well, and you’re so talented-”
You cut him off with a kiss, which he instantly melted into. His arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close. This time he was a bit more sure of what he was doing, tilting his head and returning the motions of your lips. You pulled back but he furrowed his brow with a whine and dipped his head to kiss you again, one of his hands moving to cup your cheek.
Far from complaining, you kissed him back. The hand still on your back slid down to your rear. He broke the kiss with urgency.
“Y-you… made me feel good so I want to m-make you feel good too… Um… Show me how…?”
“Yeah, of course,” you smiled, glad that he was warming up to intimacy.
He took his hand off your cheek and presented it to you. Grabbing his wrist, you plunged it into the water and brought it between your legs.
“Feel around first, don’t be shy.”
The pads of his fingers traced down your pubes, over your clit and into your folds, finding your entrance.
“Do I just…”
“Hold on, you overlooked something.”
“I- I did?”
You moved his hand back slightly.
“That’s my clitoris. I thought you’d like to know.”
He blushed furiously, “O-oh. Yeah, mhm…”
His finger circled it a couple of times, getting used to its feel. Your breath hitched. Encouraged, he kept rubbing it.
“So is it better to do this… Rather than, you know, f-fingering you…?”
“Both are different, but I’m going to show you the best way. Put your ring and middle fingers together and put them in.”
“A-at the same time?”
“Yeah, slowly.”
He followed your instructions, ever careful. Once they were fully in, you spoke up.
“Okay… Now curl-”
The action was immediate, a gasp falling from your lips as you gripped his shoulders.
“Did I hurt you!?” He was about to pull his hand back but you kept it in place, shaking your head.
“Quite the opposite. You’re doing great. Now, press your palm up…”
Your hips bucked into his touch as he did.
“Y-yeah, like that, now you just move your fingers and rub with your palm.”
He started slow, pumping his fingers in and out while curled, making sure to keep the friction against your clit. You suspected he had skilled hands ever since you had seen him typing away on his computer, but his coordination was surpassing your expectations.
You grew breathless, your hips rocking in tandem with his touch. The water sloshed around you.
“And… You can…” You grabbed his free hand and placed it on your breast with a squeeze. “Mmm, like that…”
He was just as worked up as you, if not more. Unprompted - to your delight, he dipped his head and started kissing your neck. Very sweet and innocent kisses compared to what his hands were doing.
“C-can I, hm, b-bite you?”
“Yes,” you breathed, the pronunciation of the word more lewd than you intended.
You felt his dick twitch on your thigh. His teeth clamped down on your neck, tongue licking the skin with intent. You moved your hand down to jerk him off again, but he stopped you, a frustrating loss on your chest.
“No. T-this is for you… Just concentrate on feeling good, okay?”
“Okay,” you dug your fingers into his hair instead.
“Am I doing well?” His hand returned to fondling your breast.
“You’re doing great… Mh- Maybe you can go faster now.”
No more words were needed. He picked up the pace, hitting your g-spot just right each time, grinding his palm against your clit with more determination.
The moans couldn’t be held back anymore. He planted open-mouthed kisses to the spot where he had bitten, noting how you clenched around his fingers. How would that feel on his dick?
Pleasure started pooling, your movements becoming more erratic, reaching for that high. He noticed and pushed his fingers harder against your spongy walls.
“Nero- Mh… Keep going like that, yes, just like that- I’m gonna cum- Fuck, don’t stop-”
Your hands clutched his hair, head falling back, and-
With a gasp, followed by a moan, the orgasm wrecked through you. He kept moving his hand until your head fell on his chest, just to make sure you had fully finished. 
He pulled his fingers out and hugged you in silence as your breathing returned to normal.
Once your senses came back, you lifted your head to give him a sweet kiss. He smiled, shy.
“You… Liked it?”
“Yes. I didn’t expect you to be so good at it,” you chuckled.
Pride overtook his expression.
“You sure you don’t want me to…” You looked down at his erection.
He shook his head, “A-after dinner… If you want, I- We-”
You laughed again, “After dinner, absolutely. Let me help you wash your hair, at least. It’s all tousled now…”
Since you had already taken a shower earlier, you focused on helping him, which he really appreciated. All the contact and intimacy that he had never had made this day easily one of the best of his life.
You washed his hair and massaged his scalp, sneaking a few kisses when he closed his eyes. He washed the rest of his body himself, blushing as you absentmindedly traced your fingers across his skin while you waited.
Before leaving the bath, you remembered the reason why you wanted to use it in the first place: The jacuzzi function. You pressed the button and relaxed for a few minutes under the bubbling water.
It wasn’t healthy to stay too long, though, so you said goodbye to the jacuzzi with a mock salute. 
Nero passed you a towel and wrapped one around himself. Luckily relaxing in the water had made him go soft again, relieved that he didn’t have to feel embarrassed about having a tent.
You dried off then put on the pajamas and underwear, all very comfy and soft, and he put his glasses back on.
“I’ll call them to bring our dinner while you dry your hair,” he offered.
“Okay!”
The hair dryer was also really good quality. You were definitely going to participate in more contests in the future, regardless of whether a hotel stay was in the prizes or not.
You brushed your dry hair and walked out of the bathroom. Just then, a knock at the door.
Nero opened it and a staff member entered, pushing a serving cart filled with covered plates. They left it next to the coffee table.
“We have organized it so the entrées are on the upper tray, and dessert is on the bottom tray. The idea is that you go down each tray of food. There’s also a triptych on the top describing each meal. Do you have any questions?”
“Nope.” You looked at Nero. He shook his head.
“Then I’ll get going. Enjoy your food!” They smiled.
“Thank you!” You both said in unison.
The door closed. You took the first tray and put it on the table, then sat on the sofa.
“Want to do the honors?” You said to him.
“Yeah. We can do one each,” he sat next to you and lifted the silver cover.
The food was amazing. Both in presentation - they nailed the ‘Wanderers’ theme - and in taste. As you ate the meals, however, you noticed that Nero had grown weirdly quiet, and not in the usual shy way.
“Is everything alright?” You put your fork down.
“Hm? Why?”
“I don’t know, you seem upset or like, lost in thought.”
He put his fork down too.
“D-do you like me?”
“...What? What do you mean?”
“I mean… A-are you interested in me or… D-do you just want, uhm, a one night stand…?”
“Oh! No, no, I’m interested in you, Nero. I like you. You’re so cute and sweet. I would… It would be nice if we started dating.”
“Wait- Really?” He looked up at you with bright eyes, pushing up his glasses in a nervous gesture.
“If you also want to, yes.”
“Yes! Yes, I want to. I want you to be my g-girlfriend.”
You hugged him, covering his face in little kisses that knocked his glasses off. He laughed nervously, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face in your hair.
“S-stop, that’s too much…” He complained, but you knew he wasn’t actually annoyed.
“I can’t help it, you’re sitting here looking so kissable… Hehehe.”
You grabbed his glasses and put them back on his face.
“The food will get cold. You can continue your attacks after we eat,” he said, letting go of you.
“Oh, I intend to.”
That sent a shiver up his spine, but he refrained from saying anything in case you would change your mind and forget about the food entirely. After all, he wanted to enjoy this cute moment of eating dinner with his girlfriend.
Meals finished, cart taken away, you stood up with your arms crossed.
“Well?”
“...well what?” He looked around nervously.
“Are you going to stand up and join me in the bed or are you going to keep editing those pictures you took of the food?”
“A-ah…” He dropped his phone for the second time today.
You picked up the phone and left it on the table, away from him, to then pull him up by his arms.
“That wasn’t a response.”
“I’ll join you,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact.
You walked to the bedroom, hand in hand, but you stopped in front of the closet as you remembered the basket.
This time Nero got a good look at it.
“We-! We’re not gonna-! We-! Use all of that!?” He pointed at all of the items with a bewildered look.
“Calm down, we’re not. Geez, how freaky does the hotel management think we are?” You said with sarcasm, knowing exactly how much of a freak you were.
Nero seemed in particular distress about the strap on, which you lifted with curiosity but promptly put down. No, you were just looking for the condoms. For now.
“I feel like you should know, well I, I’m not exactly, um, what I mean is, I’m… A virgin.”
How sweet of him to mention it, as if it wasn’t obvious. You held back your snarky comeback, since this was serious for him and you weren’t that evil.
“Right. That’s okay. You remember the safe word?”
“Yes.”
“Then we’re good!”
You took one of the condoms and guided him to the bed, sitting down.
“I also don’t… I have no idea how to… Put one of those on.”
“I’ll help you, don’t worry,” you were concerned about the lack of sexual education he had received, but that was a different matter entirely.
He looked unsure of what to do next. Kiss you? Start undressing? Jump out of the window from embarrassment?
Those doubts dissipated as you started kissing his neck, his eyes closing in bliss.
“You left a mark on my neck,” you whispered between kisses, “it’s only fair I return the favor.”
He tilted his head up, grabbing a fistful of your hair, realizing he might be hurting you and letting go, ultimately grabbing again once you bit down. The noise he let out was borderline pornographic.
You sucked and licked the skin, only stopping to admire how it looked before moving on to a different spot and repeating the process. 
By the time you were done, his neck was covered in hickeys, he was panting, and he was visibly hard. Your hands had stayed on his shoulders the entire time on purpose, but now, as you looked at him look at you, they wandered down to unbutton his shirt.
He tried to avoid your gaze by looking at them, but you were quick to tilt his chin back up.
“Unbutton mine.”
He complied, fumbling with the buttons and taking twice the time you did out of pure nervousness. He was about to lose his virginity with you of all people. Fuck, he was about to lose his virginity period.
You took off the pajamas and discarded them on the floor. Despite having seen you naked not that long ago, it took him a moment to calm down again.
Gently pushing him back, you took off his pants and knelt between his legs.
“I’m gonna show you how to put on a condom but first I wanna do something…”
“Hm?”
You lowered your head towards his erection and he immediately palmed your forehead to stop you.
“W-wait!”
He retracted his hand, but kept it between you and his dick.
“What?” You raised an eyebrow.
“If- If you do that, I am certain, I am… I will c-cum right away…”
“I still don’t see the issue.”
“But- You- I- Well- We-” He started gesticulating incoherently.
You took the opportunity of his hands being busy to lower your head the rest of the way and lick up his shaft.
“Ah!” He threw his head back, then shot you a glare.
The eye contact in that moment was when you decided to put your whole mouth around it, sucking it completely. It was the right choice, as you got a perfect view of his flustered expression.
His hands gripped the sheets, unintelligible sounds falling from his lips.
“Mh! Nghh…”
You sucked from bottom to tip, dragging your tongue along the veins, making sure to cover all of it with your saliva. Your dominant hand followed just after your lips, while the other fondled his balls. 
“You have such a pretty dick, you know,” you kissed the frenulum.
It twitched in your hand, precum already dripping, and Nero grabbed a pillow to cover his face and muffle his moans.
“No, no, no, c’mon,” you pulled it away, “don’t you wanna see the cum all over my face when you finish?”
“Why do you-, why are you-, I’m just, I feel like-”
You sucked it fully again, swirling your tongue around it. His stomach trembled in tandem with his heaving breaths.
“Ahgh! Mmmff… P-please- Ahh…”
He was holding back. He was trying so hard not to cum, to impress you, to prove to himself that he could last, that he wouldn’t be a mess when he was finally inside you, but sucking up the length while rolling your eyes back and humming was all it took.
Thick ropes of white painted the inside of your mouth, his hips stuttering. Another apologetic string of sentences rang out of him, only a lot more garbled, his head on the mattress and his back arched towards you.
You licked and swallowed all the cum. When you finally pulled back and looked at his state, he refused to make eye contact, but his eyes were fixed on the top of the canopy with suspicious concentration.
You looked up and, ah, of course, a mirror. Your eyes met his and he instantly looked away, moving to lie on his side and bury his face against the mattress.
“Nero, are you embarrassed or are you upset? I can’t tell.”
“Mm mmm,” he answered, words muffled.
You lied down next to him and caressed his cheek. He slowly came out of hiding.
“I didn’t understand that. Can you repeat it?”
“The first,” he repeated with a huff.
“So, embarrassed. But, did you like it?”
“Are you joking!?” He exclaimed, “I- I mean… Yes…”
“Great, because I’m far from done with you,” you lifted the condom to his flushed face, “wanna be on top?”
He shook his head so hard that his glasses almost fell off.
“Listen,” he tried to explain as you got on top of him once more, “I’m still sensitive, a-and I might cum just as fast anyways, so I’m really sorry in advance for how much of a mess I’m going to be, I promise I’m doing my best, if you don’t want to do this anymore that’s fine by me, we can do whatever you want- Aah-,” he shuddered as you slipped the condom on his still hard dick, “...that was easier than I expected- A-as I was saying! If you don’t like this, I could e-eat you out instead- MMMGH!”
You sank onto him in a swift move, the full length now buried to the hilt inside your warm cunt. It made you gasp, too. It felt better than any sex toys or past flings you had had.
“With how fast you talk, I don’t doubt that it would be nice, but you made me so wet with all your moaning that I couldn’t wait to fuck you properly.”
He mumbled a response, hands grabbing your thighs to keep you still for a moment; it was too much for him to process, and he knew that if you started moving he would-
You rocked your hips, propping yourself with your hands on his chest, and his nails dug into your skin with a broken whimper.
“Wait!”
Ignoring him, you did it again. God, he felt good.
“Agh-!” He arched his body, scratching your thighs, which he looked really apologetic about but he couldn’t help himself.
“How mean, you have all this and you want to keep it all to yourself…” You teased.
“N-no, it’s not that, I swear, u-use me, I-”
At those words, you raised your hips and dropped them sharply, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix. His eyes rolled back, words dying in his throat.
“You didn’t let me, let me f-finish s-speaking…!” He protested.
“Since you wanna talk so much, how about I give you something to do with your mouth?”
You reached up and pushed your fingers inside his mouth, delivering another pointed rock of your hips. Helpless, he began sucking on them. 
Matter settled, you started to actually move on top of him at a constant rhythm, new red lines appearing on your thighs with each movement. He was so overstimulated that tears started to pool and fall down his cheeks.
The best thing about riding him was that you could deliver a perfect hit to your g-spot every time, although with how thick he was, he might’ve done that anyways if he was on top. 
You clenched around him and he saw stars, whimpering and moaning between your fingers. Hit after hit, warmth started to spread across your body, growing more and more breathless as the pleasure built, never enough - you needed to step it up.
So you took your hand out of his mouth to keep balance as you fucked yourself on his dick, faster and harder, his pussy-drunk expression only serving to drag you further, moans now spilling from your lips as well.
Nero slowly but surely recovered from the overstimulation, the mattress below him wet with tears. He chased his own pleasure now too, hips jerking up to meet you.
“I’m gonna cum,” you said, having trouble holding yourself up.
“Don’t st-oh-op, p-please, p-please, mmh…”
“I- I can’t keep, fuck, ah-”
The rope stretched tighter and tighter until it snapped, electricity jolting up your spine. Your body shook and fell on top of Nero’s, spasming with the aftershocks of the orgasm.
“No! Mh! P-please!” He cried, feeling so close himself but edged since you had stopped, “I need- you- I need to-”
He turned, both of you lying on your sides, his hands keeping your thighs around his waist, and-
With desperate thrusts, he tried to reach the climax he hadn’t. He buried his face in your chest, glasses pressing against your skin as he kissed and sucked anywhere his mouth could reach. 
You grabbed his hair, shaky gasps each time his tongue teased your nipples or his cock reached deep. It was a lot, his pace relentless, but you wanted him to finish, so you let him continue.
“S-sorry, I need to- I want to cum so bad- P-please, I’m almost there- Nghh-!”
The sweet torture didn’t last long - not that you expected it to in the first place, his hips stuttering as he delivered a couple more deep hits. You looked down to see his face as he came. He went cross-eyed. Wow, you wished you had taken a picture.
He stayed with his arms around you for a bit, breathing heavily. You caressed the top of his head.
“Come up, give me a kiss,” you said softly.
He complied, moving his posture to face you. A gentle kiss, just lips, after which you both smiled.
“I really liked that,” you reassured him before he could apologize for anything.
“Me t-too. But…”
You covered his mouth with your hand.
“Are you about to put yourself down in any way?”
He raised his eyebrows, then shook his head. You moved your hand away.
“I just wanted to say… Well, I think it’s a bit unfair that I, uh, I came one more time than you did, so…”
“The score doesn’t always have to be ‘settled’,” you chuckled.
“I! I know that! But still, I want to… Y-you said yourself that… About me t-talking a lot…”
“You wanna eat me out that badly, huh.”
He flushed. Somehow he remained easily embarrassed.
“I’m curious to know how you taste.”
Maybe not that embarrassed.
“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue,” you nodded at him.
Confused, he followed your command. You spit. He closed his mouth, shocked. He acted offended, but you saw his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed it.
“That’s how I taste,” you laughed.
“Not- That’s not-! You know what I meant!” He huffed, the grip around you getting a little tighter.
“Hahaha, okay, okay, just teasing you. By all means, go right ahead. I would never say no to being eaten out.”
With your permission, he released you and pulled out, his dick now soft. He got up to throw away the condom while you positioned yourself on the bed, legs spread for him, pillows stacked under your upper back and head.
He crawled back on the bed and lied down on his stomach, face between your thighs, eyes darting wildly at the display before him. Seeing it was different from feeling it.
“Will you guide me like you did before?”
“Yeah, of course. Get a feel for it first, though.”
He nodded and swallowed.
“I didn’t expect you… To be… So wet…” His fingers traced your inner lips.
“I told you before.”
“Sure, but- I thought it was an exaggeration…” He licked his finger. No discernible reaction, until he realized you had watched him do that, then he turned redder.
“What’s the verdict? Do I taste good?” You smirked.
“A-ah, well- I didn’t really- I have to try more.”
“Smooth.”
This time he stuck out his tongue, flat, and licked up from your entrance to your clit. You trembled involuntarily.
“Like that?” He repeated the action.
“Y-yes, but, it’s not just that, you aren’t a dog-,” you gave him a look, but discarded the thought. Pet play might be too advanced for his first day. “You have suck, too. You can kiss if you want. Don’t bite, unless it’s on the thighs. And don’t focus on one specific spot, but every now and then you should definitely hone in on the clitoris,” you paused, “Is that confusing? Did I explain it more or less okay?”
“I’ll try to follow what you just said, but correct me if I do anything wrong.”
His arms wrapped around each of your thighs.
“Oh, and,” he kissed your clit, “that’s the clitoris, right?”
“Yes,” you smiled proudly at how far he’d come.
That smile faded fast as he dove right in and started sucking and licking like a starved man, running his tongue up and down, your expression morphing as your brow furrowed in pleasure.
His head moved up and down, lips pressing against every part of your cunt, tongue parting your folds. Just like you had told him, he made sure to stop at your clit, suck it and swirl his tongue around it before dragging it away and poking at your entrance, drinking all he could taste.
You bucked your hips towards him, gripping his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other. Your thighs pressed against his cheeks.
“Y-you can… Hahh… If you- Your nose-”
He understood what you meant, rubbing his nose to your clit as he sucked lower. His glasses fogged up at the heat. He took them off and threw them away to get a better angle.
They landed on the carpet, undamaged, but neither of you really cared.
His eyes moved up to you every now and then, though blurry, he tried his best to gauge your reaction, along with the little trembles of your legs. It was getting easier to understand what he had to do.
Still, he had some improvements to do. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath, lips red and moist, a web of saliva connecting his mouth to your cunt. He licked his lips.
“Don’t stop,” you breathed.
“Sorry, sorry,” he quickly muttered before diving back in.
This time his movements were faster, his tongue flicking in all the right spots. One of his hands moved up to squeeze your breast, fondling it, small sounds of pleasure vibrating from his mouth to your core.
You grinded your hips back and forth, hissing. Nero was doing something similar against the mattress, his dick probably hard again. 
He sucked your clit sharply, and you threw your head back with a moan. 
“Fuck… Yes…”
He did it again.
“Mmnn! Nero, I’m so fucking close- Don’t slow down- ah!”
Far from it, he kept up the pace with heavy breaths, the hot air hitting your skin. Your fingers tightened their grip on both his hair and the sheets. Which, if it weren’t for the fact that he was neatly licking everything up, would have been stained with your wetness long ago.
“Yeah yeah yeah-” Your vision began to cloud as that familiar numbing sensation spread, almost, almost, right there.
Uncontrollable shivers ran along your body, your expression locked in a continuous gasp as you looked up, at the mirror, seeing - more than feeling - Nero kissing your inner thighs and up your stomach.
You slowly came down from the high. By the time he buried his face in your neck, you had regained control of your body and could wrap your arms around him.
“I have my verdict now,” he said with a cocky edge, “you taste good.”
You chuckled and patted his hair, ruffled from your grabbing and pulling.
“That means you’ll eat me often, then?”
He lost his cockiness, “I-If you want me to.”
You held him for a bit while an idea cooked in your mind. Would he be opposed? He didn’t seem very thrilled when he saw the strap on…
“Hey, are you up for one more thing? I know you were all about ‘settling the score’ or whatever, but I want to do something… It’ll be the last, I promise. We can go to bed after.”
“Uhm… Anything and everything you want to do is fine by me…”
“Riiight…” You gently pulled away from his embrace and got up.
As he saw you walk towards the basket, he felt a slight nervousness well up, but he calmed himself by believing you were just going to grab another condom. On the way there, you tossed him his glasses.
His vision now clear, he saw how wrong he was.
You lifted the strap and his face went white.
“You can’t be serious…”
“I am. You see, you were such a good boy eating me out and you did so well, that I think you deserve a prostate orgasm,” you said with a smile.
“I don’t- I don’t think I can, I’m able to… I…”
“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. We won’t! But if you’re just saying ‘no’ because it’s a new, weird experience, I’m asking you to be open minded.”
“Have... Have you done this before…?”
“What, peg a guy? Yes,” you shrugged.
He shook off the feelings of jealousy to instead focus on the fact that you knew what you were doing.
You picked up the lube - also in the basket - and walked up to the bed to sit next to him.
“Look at it. Your dick is a lot bigger and I can take it no problem.”
He turned red, “Well! That’s! I mean!”
To be fair, there were actually more sizes available, this one being the smallest, but you had buried them under the condoms and lube bottles so he wouldn’t see. A small mercy from you.
“Are you up for it or not?”
“Uhhh… Maybe I can, just like, try it for a second,” he avoids your gaze, fidgeting with his hands.
“Sure! Of course. If it’s uncomfortable, we stop.”
You pat the bed, “Get on all fours.”
“What!? Right away!?” He lowered his head.
“...I mean, what did you expect to happen first?”
“I don’t know! Can I get a kiss first.”
You giggled and leaned to kiss him. His hands cupped your face, and you felt him smile into the kiss.
“Better?”
“I guess.”
“Alright, I’m going to lube you up. I’ll use my fingers, so don’t get scared.”
“You’re gonna… Ah… Mhm…”
He positioned himself on all fours as you indicated, slightly relieved that at least he didn’t have to face you.
You squeezed some lube out on your fingers and took a gander at what you were working with. Okay, he was definitely tense.
“Breathe, Nero. My gosh.”
“Right, right, mhm.”
He wasn’t going to calm down much more, it was obvious, so instead of dragging it out, you simply decided to circle your finger around his hole and slowly push it in. No more than an inch deep.
The foreign sensation made his breath hitch.
“Am I hurting you?”
“N-no.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No…”
You pushed your index a bit further, coating his inner walls with the lube. You stopped once you figured you were deep enough.
“This is what I was talking about,” you warned him, before pressing down right on his prostate.
You saw his hands clutching the sheets as he gasped, then looked back over his shoulder.
“That’s…”
“Feels good, right?”
“Yeah…”
You retracted your finger and picked up the strap on to lube it up as well, coating its black silicone with your hands. Nero watched the whole process with his mouth dry.
“It’s about to feel a lot better than ‘good’, trust me.”
He nodded noncommittally, but deep down he was very curious after having felt just your finger.
You fastened the strap to your waist and thighs, making sure everything was properly tightened, and turned your attention back to him.
“You can still say no.”
“No, I, I’m okay.”
“Alright.”
You aligned the tip of the dildo with his hole, kneeling behind him. He looked away, heavily in disbelief that somehow this was happening - and worst of all - he was eager for it to happen.
The tip slid in easily thanks to the lube, a soft muffled sound coming from Nero, who now had one of his hands covering his mouth. You pushed a bit deeper, tentatively. Your hands found perch on each side of his waist, the touch causing goosebumps along his skin.
“You’re doing so well,” you praised.
Another inch. It was almost fully in. His posture was so rigid that he might as well have been a statue.
The final bit disappeared inside him, and you took a moment to let him adjust.
“How is it? How are you?”
He moved his hand away from his mouth, propping it against the mattress again.
“It’s a lot… But… It doesn’t feel bad, just weird.”
“That’s good. Can I move?”
“Yeah…”
With his permission, you slid it halfway out, and back in. Slowly.
“H-ah-”
One more time.
“Mmg-”
Faster.
“Oh-”
From tip to base.
“Ah!”
Seeing he could take it, you set the pace. In and out, every single hit dragging a new noise out of him.
Your hands on his waist, you began pulling him against you at the same time, lewd noises each time your hips met his ass. His knuckles turned white.
“Look at you, being so good,” you said in a singsongy voice, “arch that back for me.”
He did, whimpering at the way the strap felt in that posture.
“Good boy. Are you enjoying being fucked like this, Nero?”
“Y-ye-sssssgh…”
He was so far gone, and having done so little, too. It was going to be a delight when you used a bigger strap in the future.
Your thrusts turned harder, opting for impact instead of speed. Broken moans and whimpers fell from his lips. His arms trembled.
“You look so cute like this,” you leaned forward, wrapping a hand around his neck to make him face you.
He turned to you with half-lidded eyes and a permanent flush. You could practically see the heart-shaped pupils in his eyes, dazed and drunk. He felt like he was about to die from pleasure.
You felt him back up on you since you had stopped moving. You raised an eyebrow.
“What’s this, getting greedy?” You smirked.
“Pleaseee…” He whined, voice cracking.
“That good, huh,” you let go of his neck, “and you were so reluctant before.”
Both hands back on his waist, you rammed yourself inside him. He moaned loudly, but the sound got cut by yet another thrust, his voice carrying on and getting cut off repeatedly as you picked up the pace. 
Precum dripped on the mattress. You intended to jerk him off at the same time, although it didn’t seem necessary, so you focused on hitting his prostate at the right angle.
His arms gave out under him, barely holding himself together as he now lay face down and ass up - drooling.
“Hey,” you called out, “look- at- your- self-” you pointed up with your chin.
His eyes wandered up to the mirror, where he saw the utter mess he was, and how the strap slid in and out of him. The sight made his body tremble. You looked so hot.
“I’m gunn- gonna- aah… mmmh… going to- nngh! C-cum…”
“Yeah? Show- me. Cum- for- me,” you punctuated your words with thrusts.
He babbled incoherently, his legs shaking. His sounds got louder and louder, until he started pleading in broken syllables, and then- release.
Spurts of cum shot on the bed, his face buried against the mattress as he bit the sheets.
You moved for a bit longer to let him ride it out. When the whimpering turned into heaving gasps, you stopped. Gently, you pulled the strap out.
He collapsed on his side, fully spent.
“Very good. You did such a good job,” you leaned over and kissed his cheek.
He mumbled a reply.
You took off the strap and attempted to clean as much of the mess as you could. At that point it was better to change the sheets entirely, you realized.
Well, you weren’t a Hunter for nothing. You scooped Nero up bridal style and let him down gently on a chair while you changed the bed. He was flustered by the action, but not in the right state to complain.
After changing the sheets - there was a spare set in the closet - you went to the bathroom to grab a damp towel. You cleaned yourself first, then sat down next to Nero and helped him.
“Thanks…” Was all he could say.
You scooped him back up and laid him down on the bed before climbing in yourself.
“Want some water? Or anything?”
“No… I want… Sleep and cuddles…”
You chuckled, “we can absolutely do that.”
You turned off the lights and cozied up to him, gently taking his glasses and putting them on the nightstand. His arms wrapped around your waist, face buried in the crook of your neck.
The skin-to-skin contact, once arousing, now soothing, helped him drift off quite fast. You didn’t take much longer, sleep taking you in minutes.
An alarm woke you up the next morning. A song from the Super Hunters show. Nero’s alarm.
“Mmmh… Oh, no…” He got up, untangling himself from your warm embrace and running to turn it off.
You stirred, rubbing your eyes. Opening them, you saw him standing next to the bed, looking down at you.
“Hm? What…?” You said in a sleepy voice.
He chuckled and climbed back in, hugging you.
“Nothing. I just think my girlfriend looks very cute when she’s sleepy,” his voice was a little deeper in the morning.
You could already tell he was going to be the type of guy that showed off his girlfriend a lot. It made you smile, really.
“I think my boyfriend should have turned off his alarms,” you countered, poking his cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” he kissed right below your ear, “I forgot we were sleeping here together instead of being alone back home, and it slipped my mind.”
“Oooh, right, because we would have to drive all the way back from Linkon to WandererCon…”
“Yeah…”
“Do you have a lot planned for today?” You caressed his cheek, which he leaned into.
“I… I had plans… But… Uh…” His usual blush tinted his face.
“But?”
“We… The documents said we… Uhm, so, the room… Is booked until 5PM today… And I don’t feel like going to the convention today…”
Unbelievable. He wanted to spend the day here with you rather than gushing about Wanderers? Was he sick?
You blinked at him. He was a bit confused about your shocked reaction.
“Or, do you want to go?”
“No. No. I want to stay, I’m just surprised you want to stay. Are you sure? It only happens once a year, and I’m still going to be your girlfriend tomorrow.”
You knew this was important for him, so you wanted to make sure he knew what he was doing.
“Yes, I’m sure. Wanderers are still going to exist tomorrow, and I have you here now. It would be a waste not to enjoy your company.”
He kissed you, and kissed you, deep and loving, over and over.
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“How was the weekend?” Asked Tara when you arrived at work.
“Oh shit, I forgot to buy you something,” you palmed your forehead, “I’ll treat you to dessert for the rest of the week,” you sat on your office chair.
“Hahaha, it’s okay, but I’ll take you up on that offer,” she clapped giddily.
She rolled her chair closer.
“It must have been really interesting to attend, if you forgot about it. Was it cool?”
Just then, Nero arrived at the office. He walked up to your desk and placed a cup of coffee with a shy smile.
“Good morning, Tara!” He greeted, walking to his desk.
Tara scrunched up her brows in shock and leaned to whisper to you.
“Tell me what’s going on. Has reality been altered? I didn’t see this in my cards…”
“Uhm… Let’s just say… It was a busy weekend.”
Thank you for reading! Here's a little meme:
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the-obnoxious-sibling · 2 days ago
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i have been overthinking what buck’s baking and why for too long to not throw my thoughts out into the world, so. here you go.
baked alaska: a fiddly details/impressing people dessert. i bet bobby suggested this as a date night recipe, and since he’d already bought everything buck decided he might as well make it for madney. (imo the kitchenaid was acquired for meringue-whisking purposes, if he didn’t own it already.)
the many loaves: ah, quick breads. some of the easiest baked goods to throw together without investing in fancy equipment or ingredients upfront, just mix and bake! my thought: buck realized that the hours working on the baked alaska were the first he hadn’t spent thinking constantly about tommy, so the first loaf was an experiment to see if that effect was replicable, and then, well. it’s easy to put together another bowl of batter while your first loaf is baking.
baked brie: we have a canon explanation for this one, lol.
garlic bread, baked ziti, bread pudding: by this point, buck clearly thinks the oven is the common element when it comes to not-thinking-about-tommy. (presumably he has been cooking as usual and that had no impact on his tommy thoughts.) i can’t see him having the time to make bread from scratch at the firehouse on shift, so i suspect the breads were store-bought and then enhanced with buck-made garlic butter & custard.
cookies: also very easy to make with little prep time or downtime! sure, you can let the dough chill or rest if you feel like being fancy, but it isn’t necessary to get something edible in the end. the most waiting you have to do before the actual baking is wait for your butter to soften—and as buck says in 8.08, he started out his baking craze using melted butter, so buck was not doing any waiting, not allowing himself any downtime. cookies have similar main ingredient volumes to a quick bread but require less moisture and smaller amounts of mix-ins/flavorings; probably buck switched when he ran low on pumpkin/lemon/etc.
the 8.08 basket of baked goods is not super easy to identify, with the crinkly plastic wrap and all, but it looks to me like a few quick bread loaves, some scones or biscuits, and a larger, yeasted bread loaf. this suggests to me that buck is attempting recipes that are more complex, including some which require ingredients a home cook wouldn’t typically have on hand (e.g. yeast; the loaf-sized bags and twist ties are also pretty specific to baking vs the plastic wrap of the 8.07 loaves).
is his expanding repertoire because the basic recipes aren’t holding off the tommy thoughts as well now that he’s getting good at them? because the people he’s foisting his baked goods off on are getting bored of the same old thing? because he’s getting bored of making the same things over and over again? i’m not sure. i think any of these is a valid interpretation at this point, honestly.
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lightlycareless · 1 day ago
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I was reading your scorned ex husband stories and they made me so sad(especially the second one) then I started thinking about the twin au and like what if the twins parent trap them in a different divorced au? Lol. Naoya is still a dick obviously for splitting up twins(seriously who would do that??) but maybe not completely irredeemable for Y/N to forgive him 🥺 Hehe this is just something silly I thought up and wanted to share
Hellooooooo
Heheh this got me watching the movie again, right in the nostalgia. It had been so long since I last saw it that I actually didn't remember most of it, but I do think however: how the hell did they think that was a good idea 🤣 gee, talk about parent of the year.
Anyways, some liberties were taken to make the story work, though the premise is essentially the same.
Also, these are the works anon is referring to :) Ex-husband 1 & Ex-husband 2. Now onto the warnings:
Warnings: none major. Naoya is an a_hole, as always. Naomi and Naori are adorable, but poor kids seriously :'(.
Happy reading!!
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If Naoya does this, you effectively hate him from that point forward.
It is non-negotiable, you never want to see him ever again, especially after the cruel words he used to justify the separation of his children:
“I only ever cared about Naori anyways.”
You made it your life-long purpose to keep Naomi from someone as despicable as her father—though it hurt you to do so, for it also meant you’d be away from your beloved son; just 2 years into his life… you barely got to make any memories with him before he was stripped away from your arms.
But such was the divorce agreement: the two would keep one child, and out of their lives.
Naoya remains in Kyoto with his son at the Zen’in estate, while you move back to Tokyo, close to your family but distant enough to have your own apartment. Just the two of you, the little home you always wanted.
In an unexpected turn of events, Naomi and Naori would go on completely unaware of each other until enrolling in the same elementary school.
It was almost undetectable at the beginning since Naomi now had your last name—but once teachers and students alike began to realize their physical similarities, it became impossible to ignore.
“No… we don’t look alike.” Naori would quietly complain. Out of the two, he was the least enthusiastic about this advancement, doing his best to avoid the limelight due to his reserved nature.
However, that wouldn’t mean anything to Naomi: ever the bubble one, she was nothing but to have a new best friend that looked just like her!
“We’re almost like twins!” she gasped—same hair color, eyes, height… how could they not? “I’ve always wanted a baby brother too.”
“Well, I don’t! And I could be older too, you know? Besides, why would I want a sister that’s weak and ugly…?”
Intended to hurt her, Naomi only laughed at his words, for it would take much more than that to bring her down—one could even say that the two were reflections of their respective parents in that matter: the only contrast between the two, as a matter of fact.
“That’s not true!” she happily refuted, taking hold of his hand and heading to the playground. “Now, come on! I want to go on the swings, and I need someone to push me!”
Though Naori was greatly unwilling at first, he’d soon warm up to her, mainly because she was part of the few, if not the only, kid that didn’t bother him because of his shyness; always rushing to the rescue whenever bullies began to swarm him, as well as reassure him there was nothing wrong with being the way he was.
And if that wasn’t enough, the food Naomi began to share with him (courtesy of you, after much insistence from her part) effectively validated their friendship.
“When will you ever bring him over?” you tease, it’s the happiest you’d ever seen your daughter! And for that, you couldn’t help but feel glad and obligated to repay the favor.
“I don’t know, mama. Nori-kun tells me his papa can be quite strict.”
You chuckle.
“Well, I’m sure I can convince him next time the parents have a meeting at school.”
“His papa doesn’t go to school.” Naomi frowns, her words making you sad for the poor child. “Says he’s too busy.”
“Oh, that’s awful. Well, what about the mama?”
“He doesn’t have one.”
Your heart longs to comfort him.
If they only knew…
And as time went on and their friendship flourished even more, so did their interests for one another; beyond those of their favorite colors and toys, and more into… personal grounds.
Matters that had always quietly hurt Naori one way or the other since he could remember; more so since you had been nothing but sweet and kind to a figuratively unknown kid, which highlighted the fact he never had that one thing he always wished for.
What he might never have, since his father has long given up on it, considering the way he coldly changes the subject, or completely ignores it. Naori simply… doesn’t talk about it.
Until now.
“Why don’t you have a dad?” He dares to ask; it’s no secret that the one to pick him up at school is one of his father’s many subordinates, always changing, not enough to be interesting to the other parents outside of how rich (or a jerk) he must be to have employees pick up his child.
Compared to you, always spoken of fondly for the following reasons:
If it was Valentine’s Day, you’d send Naomi with a big box of candies so she could share with all the class.
Halloween was the same, even hosting small gatherings if the children wished to celebrate in a safe environment.
If it was a classmate’s birthday, you always made sure to send them a personal gift or attend their birthday party. Your gifts might’ve put some parents to shame from time to time, but it didn’t matter, you kind of grew to be some kind of celebrity thus a few always tried to be on your good side—or Naomi’s, so to speak.
Naomi’s birthday… well, some fought to be on the guest list.
In other words,you were an amazing for both kids and parents alike, enough to inspire Naori to daydream about what it would be to have a loving mother like you—to always be at the door once it was time to leave, patiently waiting for the moment your daughter would come into view and subsequently pick her up into a tight, warm hug, followed by a kiss and wide smile as you urged Naomi to tell you all about her day.
Or more importantly, wonder if you were open to adopting him.
“Oh… that—I… don’t know!” Naomi responds truthfully. “Mama never talks about him.”
“Have you asked her?”
“Once or twice, but all she says is that I should focus on my studies!
But I can see how sad she gets whenever I mention him.” She continues. “Mama isn’t very good at hiding “adult talk” and neither is my auntie, so I always get to hear how lonely she is when they talk about him! … and how she should try dating other people, or whatever that means, so she wouldn’t feel like that anymore.”
“I think is when you marry someone.” Naori tries to explain, Naomi scowls out of disgust.
She doesn’t like the idea of sharing her mama with someone else, grows somewhat jealous too.
Well, maybe if it was Uncle Nanami, he’s always been nice to her and her mama. Not Geto because she plans on marrying him herself.
And she supposes her papa too… but how could someone you love make you sad?
“I don’t want her marrying anyone.” Naomi shakes her head. “She’s happy with me!”
“But don’t you wonder about your dad?” he asks. “What did he look like? How did he meet your mom?”
Or how they fell in love?
Naturally. Because just as Naori, and even after you tried your hardest to distract her from it… she too longed to have a father. Someone to play with her after finishing all her homework, put her over his shoulders and let her see the world from his height, or protect her from the monsters that lived inside the closet…
There must be an answer to both of their mysteries—people don’t simply disappear.
And such, is how they assigned themselves a new mission; a task of the upmost importance, requiring all their attention and care if they wish to uncover why they only have one parent—and who was such peculiar character.
Anything that could hint such solution is a chance they’d take, however…
To Naomi, this endeavor proved quite fruitless, for any indication of your past relationship was effectively ripped from the evidence. Quite literally: thousands and thousands of pictures cut in half, neatly removing the person that accompanied her mother—whom she assumed to be her father. And that’s without mentioning your consistent disapproval of the matter. Naomi was right where she began.
This lack of advancement both frustrated her and placed more pressure onto Naori’s efforts, which shockingly, turned to be quite more than what they bargained for. Getting results neither could’ve imagined, not even in their wildest dreams…
“Naomi-chan… I’m not sure if you’re ready to see this.” Naori would caution as he placed down a large wooden box before her, filled with his findings.
“Why? Why not, Naori-kun?” she frets, surely it couldn’t be anything too outrageous.
…Could it?
Yes, it could. And it was.
Because beyond the astonishing realization that all the pictures Naori brought were in virtually perfect shape…
The fact they both recognize the people in the photo, Naomi’s mother, wearing that same bright eyed, wide smile look on her face whenever particularly excited. Happy—alongside Naori’s father, with his usual dyed hair, ear piercings, and striking eyes…
Holding two newborn babies—named Naomi and Naori such as the inscription in the back stated, alongside their birth time and date (Naomi is older, at last is known) …
Is what truly shocked them.
You. Naoya.
Naomi and Naori.
Mama and papa.
A family, for all intents and purposes.
What everyone around them proclaimed: siblings.
Naomi and Naori were siblings. Twins.
“Does that mean we—”
Naori nods. If it hadn’t been obvious enough by now.
Nonetheless, as thrilling as this discovery was, for it essentially made their respective dreams come true… another question arose. One that undoubtedly could not proceed unanswered.
“Why aren’t our parents together?”
Or most importantly:
“How can we get them back together?”
“But what if they don’t want to?” Naori frets.
“I told you already! Mama looks very happy wit him, and auntie says she’s very lonely too… besides, if they get back together that means we’ll finally be a happy family! And isn’t that what you wanted?”
Naori presses his lips together, nodding.
“I want a happy family too. I’ve always wanted a papa to play with!” Naomi continues.
“And a mom to hug…” Naori adds. “What do we do?”
First…
Get them together, face to face. In other words, talk. It’s how adults always preached problems got solved.
Since you had given Naomi the impression you’re not interested in anything pertaining to Naori’s dad, she had to get creative. Force you into a position where you wouldn’t be able to ignore her as you’ve done before—and one where Naoya would inevitably have to go to school too.
It had to be a convincing excuse, and since the two were children in need of dire solutions, their innocent minds led them to the most extreme resolution yet.
“I need you to punch me.” Naomi says, determined.
“Why?!” he gasps.
“Because I need to get hurt for mama to come, and if you’re the one in trouble they’ll have to call your papa, and then, the two will be here, just as we planned!”
“Can’t we do something less dangerous…?” Naori doesn’t like the idea of getting in trouble with his strict dad, as if he weren’t insufferable enough…
“No, Naori. It must be this!”
“But I don’t want to punch you…”
“Come on, we have to do it to have a family!!” she insists. “Or do you not want mama to make you food every day? To hug you too??”
He swallows.
“I do.”
“Then do it!”
And… he does. After taking a deep breath, clenching his fist and hitting Naomi in what she could only describe the weakest punch she could’ve ever anticipated. Surely, not enough to make this case convincing.
“Naori! You have to hit harder than that!”
“I—I tried!” he cries.
“No, you didn’t!” she cries back. “You didn’t even try!”
“Ye—yes I did!” Naori frowns. “It’s not my fault I’m not as strong as you!”
“Yeah, right! You’re a boy, you’re supposed to hit harder!” Naomi adds, smirking soon after an idea crosses her mind. “… Then I guess you don’t really want a mama.”
“I do want a mom…”
“No, it’s fine. I should’ve known not to trust you with something so important anyways—” she says, words that brush each and every one of Naori’s insecurities. “You’re just as weak as everyone else says…”
With a frown on his face, and a sour tightness in his chest, little Naori quickly clenched his fist and prepared himself to prove her wrong once and for all. Show that he wanted this just as much as she did—if not more.
Naomi was trying her best to get a rise out of Naori, everything necessary to motivate a genuine hit out of him and get their plan in motion—she never meant any of those words, intended to apologize after all was said and done, though she doubted it would matter once they got what they sought after.
But it was almost comical how it happened, how he miscalculated his steps, how far his hand had to travel to hit Naomi, and how he ended up doing far more than necessary: but convincingly so, in the end. Tripping over her and sending the two tumbling down, loudly hitting the ground in such a motion that had them scraping their skin, and of course, tears following suit.
“Maaaaaaa, I want my mamaaaaa.” Naomi intuitively cried, tightly holding onto the teacher as the two were sent to the infirmary.
Naori didn’t cry much for his father, he rarely did considering his prominent absence, but just one look at his teary face and trembling lip, and it was obvious whom he sought for comfort—the same one the school somehow convinced to come along and deal with this unfortunate incident.
As well as the supposed altercation that made way for all this to happen in the first place.
“No, what do you mean a fight??” You’re the first to arrive, demanding a believable explanation from the teacher. “That’s not—that doesn’t sound like my daughter!”
“I know, I thought the same… but that’s what the kids are saying.” She explains. “That Naomi-chan was inciting Naori-kun to punch her, and that she was even saying awful things to get him to do that. I don’t know what they were doing, if they were playing a game or… I don’t know; all of it is so weird—I’m sorry.”
You sigh.
“It’s fine. There’s no need to stress when it’s already happened.” You explain. “Is the parent of the child here already?”
“Should be soon, but I don’t know if he’s actually coming, Naori’s dad isn’t quite… present.”
You frown at the name.
“Naori? Wasn’t he Naomi’s best friend?”
She nods.
“It just makes everything even more unbelievable… really, what’s gotten to them?”
You hope to figure such when speaking to the poor child your daughter allegedly antagonized, after apologizing for such behavior of course. Which you’d have to deal with after returning home—Naomi… seriously, what could’ve possibly gone through her mind to incite such act? Was she being bullied? Did Naori suddenly decide he no longer wanted to be friends with her?
And why did his name appear to be so… familiar?
You’d figure it out soon enough when entering the infirmary, quickly scanning across the room for your daughter—only to freeze upon locking into Naoya’s; a much smaller, softer version of them, that is.
“Mamaaaaa!!” Naomi quickly cries when seeing you walk past the door, rushing to your side and hugging you tightly, the adrenaline of the whole succession still vivid in her mind. “Mama, it—it hurts a lot!”
Comforting her ought to be your utmost priority, but at the sight of your estranged child, the baby you were forcibly stripped away from… you couldn’t think of anything else but pinching yourself to see if this was a dream—if he was truly there, before you: flesh and bone. After so many years of distance…!
And naturally, hug him. Keep him so, so close to you and never let go; to make up for all the time you’ve spent apart and the things you never got to do because of his undeserving, cruel father…
Who stomped past the door soon after, equally freezing when seeing his estranged child, and ex-wife after 5 years of imposed silence. Startled, as if he hadn’t been the deciding factor behind it all.
Or perhaps, the reason why Naori enrolled in this school in the first place.
“Y/N.”
“Naoya.”
Looks like there’s much to catch up to.
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Obviously, part 2 is needed. Essentially where Naoya will disclose more of what the hell was going on in his mind when pulling that stunt, as well as some angst. I have to. hahaha
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this little thing I wrote; I do love it when we indulge into domestic au... but not at the expense of the kids 😭😭😭 think of the children!!! lol.
Well, 0nce again, thank you so much for sending in this ask!! Now take care, and hope to see you soon!!
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writing-for-life · 2 days ago
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@embervoices , I had to put this in a reblog because it got too long for the comments (brevity is not my forte 🤣):
Yes yes yes! I’ve got several metas that riff on exactly the points you mention, also Desire not being the straightforward villain so many think they are; you’ll find them all in my meta-library:
(please don’t feel you need to read them though)
Or rather: If we look at the Endless conceptually instead of seeing them solely as, well, “not human but still people”, we get to a deeper meaning that will otherwise stay inaccessible. It starts with *when* Desire and Despair first enter the scene in the main run (right after The Sound of her Wings, when Dream… well, hears the sound of her wings 😩). The “big sister sets his head straight” is a valid surface reading of #8, but it’s also just that—a surface reading.
You can’t love and be close to Death if you don’t feel drawn to death.
Death can’t advise you without also being her function. She *is* death. The literal thing. And I’ll never tire of saying it, because every time he listens to her in the whole run, he gets closer to her in the real sense.
And another unpopular opinion: When NG coined the pithy phrase that one must change or die, and that Morpheus made his choice, he didn’t mean he just chose death (even if a felt 80% of people seem to read it like that, but that might just be what I see on my feed—other people’s mileage might vary). They were never to be read as mutually exclusive—it was always both. Because metaphorically, something needs to die to change—a viewpoint, a habit, a set of beliefs. And yet, it doesn’t entirely disappear. That’s exactly what happens—omnia mutantur, nihil interit. And Dream is the Prince of Stories—of course he relates to everything via a narrative *he* spins (he can deny it all he wants).
And yes, you can absolutely desire death—it’s so poignant that we meet Desire and Despair for the first time in #10, and also that they show as the twins on this occasion.
And then there is Brief Lives, when Desire (which is *also* a life force, and that’s important contextually in several arcs) actively pulls out of the scheming in more than one way: Dream even says, verbatim, he has no desire to “do this”, when he usually avoids even the word like the plague (and if he hadn’t done it, the ending might have been different, but that would have also been totally past the point). But the influence of his other siblings, or rather how he relates to them, is far more devastating in that moment. And while they all try as siblings, they are also their function. And in their function, they are NOT helping—again, it’s so obvious if we just look at when and how they show up for him:
Delirium made him go on the trip to find Destruction, Death told him off and made him change his mind when he had already abandoned the plan, Destiny advised him but also didn’t because he is what *must* happen either way, and Despair only showed up for him after Orpheus’ death.
Funnily enough, Desire, despite all their scheming, was always the only one who saved his ass (maybe not always for the most unselfish reasons, but they did it anyway). Not just once. Several times over. Overture is all I’ll say (during the actual events of Overture, but also in the flashback to Alianora’s story).
It’s all incredibly clever and heartbreaking at once…
”But He Loved, He Should Have Been Forgiven”
About Free Will, Responsibility and Agency: Lucifer and Dream as Foils
Did I finally jump on the Lucidream/Dreamingstar bandwagon? No, don’t panic (or be eternally disappointed 🤣), because that quote is actually from “Murder Mysteries”, a short story that also exists in comic form (drawn by P. Craig Russell). And while it isn’t officially part of the Sandman Universe (or even DC), I always saw it as somewhat of a blueprint of how NG (re)imagined Lucifer’s Fall. There is enough in Lucifer’s characterisation in the Sandman that makes it quite plausible as a sort of backstory, especially since it was written when the Sandman was still in full swing. But more about that later…
I’ve long wanted to write a meta about Lucifer and Dream as narrative foils, and since I’ve finally started clearing out my drafts, this was a good one to do right now because we are currently discussing “A Hope in Hell” in our community (join us!). Although I have to admit that this one is rather about what transpires when Lucifer decides to abandon their realm in Season of Mists...
When Lucifer learns of Dream's impending return to Hell to finally release Nada, it solidifies their own resolve to leave (I use they/them pronouns because of the show although comics!Lucifer is male presenting apart from the plumbing and also referred to as he/him). By the time Dream arrives, Hell is nearly deserted, with Lucifer basically expelling its last inhabitants. Lucifer tells Dream they rebelled long ago, and that they are not willing to “pay for that one action” anymore. And the most profound truth they share with Dream is the nature of ultimate freedom—the freedom to leave. This is also brought up many issues later, when Lucifer says to Delirium, "I told him, you know. I told him years ago… I told him that I owed him much for having given me the impetus to go. I told him there was always freedom, even the ultimate freedom. The freedom to leave. You don't have to stay anywhere forever.”
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And that’s just… ouch. Not just because it so clearly shows that Morpheus also could have left had he just chosen to (then again, he wouldn’t be Morpheus if he had, and even more “then again”: he did in certain ways), but also because we generally see Lucifer as an antagonistic force. But here, they express something akin to gratefulness. And maybe even a hint of regret that Morpheus didn’t also choose the same way. They feel almost sorry for him (my guess is they actually do, and I can never forget their face at The Wake). But what do you do if even freedom feels like a cage?
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All of this ties in neatly with the crucial truth about Hell Lucifer reveals: People are there because they choose to be (and that Hell doesn’t need to be a physical place: We can make our own—any place, even in our own minds).
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...this is where you wanted to be.
Lucifer explains to Dream:
"Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spend my entire day sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The Devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.”
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He continues, “and then they die, and they come here (having transgressed against what they believed to be right), and expect us to fulfil their desire for pain and retribution. I don't make them come here. They talk of me going around and buying souls, like a fishwife come market day, never stopping to ask themselves why. I need no souls. And how can anyone own a soul? No.
They belong to themselves… they just hate to face up to it.”
Which brings me to one of the most important messages (one of many) of the Sandman: People must take responsibility (and in this particular case not only for their lives but also for their afterlives, which is also a recurring theme). Each person's soul is their own, and no one can take that away. Paradoxically (or maybe not), as Lucifer abandons their own responsibilities, they urge people to take responsibility for themselves: You can drop said responsibilities, with all that entails, as long as you also take responsibility for the fallout.
So what about the wider question of free will then?
Let’s look at Lucifer's rebellion and fall for that, because both raise a lot of questions. Dream tells Lucifer that he remembers them as passionate, and Lucifer responds, “I cared about so many things. I suppose that was why everything began to go wrong. You know… I still wonder how much of it He planned. How much of it He knew in advance. I thought I was rebelling. I thought I was defying His rule. No… I was merely fulfilling another tiny segment of His great and powerful plan.”
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And this brings me right to NG’s short story “Murder Mysteries”, which isn’t really officially part of the Sandman Universe, but also… it totally is 🤣. In it, pre-fall Lucifer witnesses the destruction of an angel who killed another angel they loved. Raguel (the angel formerly tasked with said destruction who now walks on earth, coincidentally mentioned in the panel above as one who might also have rebelled) narrates, “‘That was not right. That was not just.’ Perhaps Saraquael was the first to love, but Lucifer was the first to shed tears."
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Later, it is revealed that God orchestrated this situation to push Lucifer towards rebellion. God needed an adversary to run Hell and says, “Lucifer must brood on the unfairness of Saraquael's destruction. And that—amongst other things—will precipitate him into certain actions. Poor sweet Lucifer. His way will be the hardest of all my children; for there is a part he must play in the drama that is to come, and it is a grand role.”
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Lucifer was basically set up by God, and this somewhat revisionist interpretation of their rebellion and fall opens up larger questions about free will, agency and destiny.
Because although Lucifer's actions were influenced by God, they still carried them out and are therefore fully responsible for them. And by choosing to abandon Hell, Lucifer was taking responsibility for their own life. They faced a choice: remain in Hell as a shadow of their former self, or move on and make peace.
This fragile peace is illustrated at the end of "A Season of Mists," when Lucifer and an old man are conversing on a beach. The old man, despite having lost everyone he loved, remarks that any God who can create such beautiful sunsets couldn't be all bad. After the man leaves, Lucifer admits (basically to God), “He's got a point. The sunsets are bloody marvelous, you old bastard. Satisfied?”
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And in a way, even Lucifer comes to terms with their past once they take responsibility for it.
In a way, this mirrors Dream’s arc to a tee. One could certainly argue that he was set on his path by forces outwith his control: Whatever had to happen in cosmic terms was always bigger than Dream. The Fates also held a grudge against him and Orpheus, for more than one reason. Orpheus did make the Furies cry, and they never forgave him for that. Crucially though, he was also responsible for his own actions and carried them out. Only that Dream’s choice was ultimately a different one—or was it truly? Because what is the exact definition of “walking away”? He certainly did not abandon his realm like Lucifer because he ensured it was taken care of. There is no devil-may-care (no pun intended) attitude, because even when choosing death, Morpheus does care about his realm and the dreamers. Deeply.
It is the sole reason why the ending we get is the ending we get, and why we have Daniel as Dream in the end. And while Lucifer takes responsibility for their own life, Morpheus takes responsibility for his own death. But both Lucifer and Morpheus faced a choice: remain on their paths as shadows of their former selves, or move on and make peace. And both chose the latter.
And one takeaway for us, as the readers, might be that if we find ourselves in an intolerable situation, we can always walk away, even if the price may be high. This brings us back to the theme of freedom:
The price of freedom is taking responsibility for our lives, even if we haven't been fully in control of them. The freedom to walk away might not be the ultimate freedom, as Lucifer suggests, but it is significant.
Free will in the Sandman is a topic of debate, and I tangentially wrote about it before:
Destiny carries a book that contains everything that will happen to us, all there was, is and will be. Most of all though, it contains what must happen. One could say that in this universe, there is a strong element of predestination involved. However, complaining about a lack of free will and just pointing towards Destiny’s book also misses the point:
In the end, our lives are always our own (which is mentioned several times, directly or in a roundabout way: in Façade, in Song of Orpheus, in Brief Lives, in The Kindly Ones, in The Wake).
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Your life and your death are your own
Some of us might have more to overcome than others, but the sooner we accept our unique challenges (which is not the same as being passive), the more we will focus on what we can change—or what we can meet with forgiveness and (self-)compassion.
Destiny and freedom as opposite sides of the coin matter far less than what we do with them…
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mean-scarlet-deceiver · 2 days ago
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how about A Gordon and Edward Analysis
Ooh yes… the OG dynamic! The first one, the foundation for everything!
(Unless you count “Edward and railwaymen”... or “Edward and coaches”... which, to be fair, I do…) 
These two are insane (affectionate). Hot take but this may be the saddest relationship on the N.W.R.?* They’re my two bestest boys but, man. Their dynamic is fucked. Edward and James are nothing compared to this. Gordon and Henry are healthy, relatively. 
tl;dr: They need couples counseling. 
Jobey, aren't you being a little dramatic? 
Am I? Take my hand. Let's do a close read… 
* This is going to focus on RWS (not tv series). Right now and for the rest of this post, I’m going to be talking strictly from the Wilbert books (and, thus, analyzing their relationship from the ‘20s to the ‘60s only) unless I specify otherwise 
Part 1 (this post): Gordon, what's your damage? 😭 / The Doylist Reason / Rent. Free. 
Post 2 (upcoming post, link later): Edward's Defences / Gordon's Growth
Post 3 (upcoming post, link later): Collision / Uh… Cleanup Crew?
tagging @weirdowithaquill because you asked for Edward+James and i wound up folding in most of what i have to say about them into this analysis 😅 in RWS they're a good foil for understanding Edward+Gordon
Gordon, what's your damage? 😭
There is a strong drive, right here on ttteblr, to portray how despite some notorious conflicts these two are canonically old friends. Also that maybe Gordon’s bad behavior is not so bad. 
That is a valid mission, indeed I flatter myself that I had some influence steering us down this road a few years back, however sometimes I think we're in danger of forgetting how often Gordon really has just been like… This: 
"You watch me this afternoon, little Edward," he boasted, "as I rush through with the Express; that will be a splendid sight for you." (1923) 
“I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I’ve done it!” he said proudly, and forgot all about Edward pushing behind. He didn’t wait to say “Thank you”... (1923) 
Edward puffed and pulled, and pulled and puffed, but he couldn’t move the heavy coaches. / “I told you so,” said Gordon rudely. (1923) 
So Edward found coaches for the three engines, and that day the trains ran as usual. / But when The Fat Controller came the next morning, Edward looked unhappy. / Gordon came clanking past, hissing rudely. “Bless me!” said The Fat Controller. “What a noise!” (1926-1934) *
When Gordon and Henry heard about the accident, they laughed and boasted. “Fancy allowing cows to break his train! They wouldn’t dare do that to us. We’d show them!” they boasted. (1952) 
“The Fat Controller would never approve,” said Gordon loftily. “Branch Lines are vulgar.” (1965) 
Edward scolded the twins severely, but told Gordon it served him right. Gordon was furious. / A few days later, some Enthusiasts came. On their last afternoon they went to the China Clay Works. / Edward found it hard to start the heavy train… / “Just pathetic,” grunted Gordon. “He should give up and be Preserved before it’s too late.” (1965) ** 
I am sportingly not even saddling Gordon with the blame for the line "Driver won't choose you again. He wants strong engines like us." (In TTRE, this is said by the collective of big engines – although the illustrations do clearly point a finger at Gordon. Still, like I said, I'm going to be sporting. The pictures aren't canon.) Also note that in RWS Gordon doesn't say "No use at all" when he learns Edward has come to push his train; that whole bit of dialogue was something Britt and David cooked up. 
Even being as generous as possible, this still leaves us with… seven. Seven instances of Gordon taking a shot at Edward. 
That’s actually quite a… lot? 
I mean, not necessarily if we were racking up all the complaints, ranging from major to miniscule, that you’d have about someone you’d lived and worked with for over 40 years, lol. 
But we shouldn’t actually be expecting a complete inventory at all. RWS books are minimalist on detail. There's just so much less in 'em than the sprawling TVS with its 24 full series, lol. And let’s focus here on just the Wilbert canon, since that’s where all these examples of Gordon being rude to Edward come from. Seven times, in 26 books. For context, the number of times Thomas teases Gordon in this same corpus is… three. Three times. Thomas cheeking Gordon. Also kind of a fundamental dynamic. THRICE! 
Passengers saying What a Bad Railway It Was… two. Number of times Thomas and Percy squabble… three. Number of accidents that Percy gets into (and this includes the piddling stuff, like crashing into that wagon of flour that was left on the rails)… five. Reflect on that for a moment: Gordon is a dick to Edward in canon more often than Percy's had an accident. That's crazy. Indeed, there are plenty of RWS characters who are canonically friends or who shed together who don't even get to have seven shared moments. It's actually kind of a fun game, to try to think of any two of them who, like Gordon and Edward, have seven of a specific kind of interaction. Have at it! There has to be something I've missed. 
But I hope it's clear, that by the standards of these books this character dynamic is hit A LOT. You know me, I'm going to go on to contextualize a lot of these seven examples, and I'm going to play Gordon defense attorney to a certain degree, and plead mitigation. But I can't possibly explain away the sheer size of this pile of evidence. This specific dynamic is not meant to be overlooked. It's not meant to be minimized.
This is a big inescapable part of what their relationship is. 
The Doylist Reason
Now, in fairness, the meta reason this dynamic is so pervasive and repeated is that it's The Template. 
“Big braggadocious engine needs help from humble plucky little engine” was trite before The Three Railway Engines was published. This is not a slam; I’m not gonna get on another parent’s case about the story they improvised for their kid because “it relies on cliches.” But it’s just a fact: Edward and Gordon, to begin with, are simply THE foundational cliche of “anthropomorphic train” media. 
One of the reasons the RWS (and the whole subsequent TTTE juggernaut) is so successful is because it features so many creative variations on this template. Most of the relationships are just "okay so one of them is the Gordon, and one of them is the Edward, but this time there's a twist!" (This is how you get Thomas as the big breakout character – because the Thomas and Gordon variation is a lot less cliched, and a lot more fun.)
Just an observation. 
Now, Awdry did keep writing the OGs again and again and again, for a couple'a decades, and he developed them both quite a bit. So by the end of his run we do have a very elaborate Jenga tower built on this template. Loads of fun* to be had yet. So let's jump right back into analyzing this shit in-universe. 
* For certain definitions of fun 😈
Rent. Free.
The first thing I wanted you to note about Gordon’s Edward-directed crimes was that there were a lot of them. 
The second thing I want you to note is that… these are, perhaps, not all so very criminal? 
Some of it is – the group harassment about the strikebreaking and the “Just pathetic!” bit (more on both of those later). But a lot of the rest of it strikes me as more the results of being blunt or un-self-aware or even just plain boisterous than actively choosing to bully anyone. In particular, the early stuff, the Three Railway Engines stuff on which the whole foundation of their relationship is laid… 
"You watch me this afternoon, little Edward," he boasted, "as I rush through with the Express; that will be a splendid sight for you." (1923) 
Condescending. Tone-deaf. Belittling (literally). But… not actually spiteful?
“I’ve done it! I’ve done it! I’ve done it!” he said proudly, and forgot all about Edward pushing behind. He didn’t wait to say “Thank you”... (1923) 
That's not cool, but it's also not… that bad. 
At the point where The Three Railway Engines ends with the claim "all three engines are now great friends," it's like, sure. You can see that. Indeed you can see it much more easily for Gordon and Edward than you could with Gordon and Henry – Gordon's behavior toward the latter (though in a similar vein of "kick a fellow when he's down") was much more extreme, and Henry's behavior was so bizarre that you hardly know what to expect from him next. (What you don't expect is that those two will be joined at the hip for the next thirty years.) By contrast the Edward and Gordon relationship should be kinda easy, the former's really nice so the latter just has to remember some basic manners and they should be okay. Right? 
But that's not how it goes. Partly of course because Gordon has much more out-of-pocket shit in him than he ever displayed in TTRE. But I'm going to set aside some of the more severe tests that Gordon makes of these friendships till later – stuff like punishing Edward for breaking his tender engine strike and "Just pathetic!" (not to mention all the needling of Henry around the Flying Kipper accident). Setting that aside, Gordon's original sin is simply being a dumb, self-centered, out-of-touch rich jock. Yes, he’s consistently “rude,” but usually more in an ignorant, superior, “I cannot be bothered to try not/learn how to prevent myself giving offense” sort of way than an aggressive, malicious “hurting you for fun and profit” sort of way. In contrast to, say, James. Whose behavior really is consistently mean. And who is hurtful on purpose, because he’s having a bad day and tearing someone else down is how he copes. James insults; Gordon (except in those couple of asterisked cases that we’re tabling for later discussion) merely boasts. And it’s really quite interesting to me how Edward seems to have much less problem with the former than with the latter! 
Because he does have a problem with it. We know, because for most of this long list of incidents the source must be… him. 
This is a series where canonically the Author is a human “friend of the railway,” collecting and publishing these stories in order to publicize the railway to the world. This is something that really can’t be forgotten when reading these (indeed, thanks to the “Author’s Note” each time, the books will not let you forget it). The narrator is canonically a figure in this universe, and is not omniscient. 
And, when it comes to the Edward/Gordon dynamic, the Author’s point of view is consistently collapsing into Edward’s point of view. 
Certain times when the narrator editorializes about details, we can be pretty sure, are lifted straight from Edward’s take on the moment (and, if not Edward’s, then The Fat Controller’s, which to be frank is also roughly aligned): 
Edward puffed and pulled, and pulled and puffed, but he couldn’t move the heavy coaches. / “I told you so,” said Gordon rudely. (1923) 
That Gordon said that, I don’t doubt. That the adverb is necessary, or even correct? That’s… that’s interpretative. I totally understand why Edward and TFC, respectively, took it that way, but I’m not 100% convinced it was meant that way, nor that everyone else on scene regarded it as much more than Gordon glumly colour-commentating the group effort to recover from his breakdown. Is he being ‘rude’? Or is he merely too blunt for North Western sensibilities?
Anyway, even if ‘rude’ is the correct interpretation, it is again worth noting that it’s certainly not part of the narrative as Gordon would have been telling the story in the 1940s. (The 1940s! It's over twenty years later! And Edward is getting his side of the thing in fuckin' print… Big win, that.)
So, if we agree that Edward is the source the Author primarily relies on for these 2+4 scenes, what does this show us? Well, for one, I'd say it shows us that Edward may ‘forgive’ all this but he is certainly not forgetting one bit of it. Indeed the narrative’s repeated return to this dynamic almost certainly mirrors how much room Gordon’s superior attitude occupies in Edward’s headspace.
Which is kinda wild. There's no evidence Edward is petty by nature, if anything there's a lot that suggests the opposite. Gordon getting this far under his paint is… something of an achievement. 
But we can see how he managed: 
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Even discounting the illustration. Even if Gordon isn’t the speaker. He was one of Them. The other big engines who tormented Edward may have been worse, were probably worse, but they are gone and Gorson remains, an eternal reminder of 1922-3. Of the primordial period when Gordon has the power, Edward doesn't. Gordon is on top of their world; Edward is left alone in a shed, cut off from all his former friends and supporters, afraid for his life, roundly denigrated by the engines he lives with, and quite possibly lost his previous job directly in favor of Gordon. Who, at best, is careless and oblivious. Who, at worst, is belittling and rude. 
Ouch. 
Gordon's arrival is still bound up, probably even the direct cause, of one of the most miserable and humiliating year of Edward's life. And – maliciously or not – everything about how Gordon conducts himself only serves to keep tearing again at that wound.  
Ouch. 
If Edward were to write off Gordin as a potential friend till the end of time, well, you know, it would be valid. Not very "wise" or anything, but it’d be understandable.
To be clear, I don't think this is what happens. I'm not going to argue that the famous line from the end of TTRE is a lie, some sort of diplomatic fiction. No, Gordon and Edward quickly make a go at genuine friendship. Indeed, throughout all this mess, even as I analyze it in excruciating detail… there's something kind of touching and weirdly wholesome about the way that they both try so hard to make it work despite the headwinds against them. Edward (and Gordon, for that matter) make sincere efforts to overcome the wounds they have inflicted on each other's egos. Kudos, lads. 
However, I also don't agree with a vast assumption on the part of many fans that Edward solves the issue by simply… rising above. Puts aside his own ego, takes a pacifist approach to all the jockeying for position, acts purely as mentor, just sits on the moral high ground and philosophically accepts everything as it is. 
This is canonically nonsense. Yes, Edward was passive in his first-ever story – he was at the end of the line; he needed someone to give him a damn break before he even had options – he doesn't actually remain passive after that, though. Indirect (he’s allergic to conflict), but not passive. We see very clearly that Edward may be judging status by a bit of a different yardstick than Gordon et. al., he doesn’t think picking up the slack on secondary or support jobs is a source of shame and his relative physical weakness drives him to find different ways to distinguish himself, but, like, when it comes to points-scoring, he’s still very much in the game. Of course his first priority is just to be wanted and useful at all, but that is not the end of it. Edward is competitive, with a proper amount of pride (“Good! Don’t let them beat you”) and he has normal engine-y desires and ambitions (“Look at me!”). ‘Course, in his case they don’t drive him to make a straight-up nuisance of himself. But, still. It matters to him that he gets to be the Smartest Engine in the Shed. It matters to him that he has nice blue wheels. It matters to him that he’s important, it matters to him that he’s respected, and he’s quite as pleased to get important jobs as any other engine (even if he doesn’t begrudge an engine who gets a jammier job than him). When canon kicks off no driver at Vicarstown has laid a claim on Edward, Topham Hatt has just succeeded some previous General Manager and shows no sign of knowing or remembering that Edward exists, and Edward has nothing – no job and no allies. It is not an accident that all three of those things change. It’s not even merely a natural karmic reward for being a nice, humble engine with a winsome smile. Edward set out to earn recognition. His main method (be helpful and reliable to others) is admirable, but it is also a means to a goal (be recognized as important and ensure he's never again stuck in the sheds). And he succeeds wildly. There’s luck there, sure - there always is, with success - but he didn’t have a lot of natural advantage at his tender, either. What I’m saying is that he’s not some innocent unworldly soul who aww-shucks’d his way into it. He meant for this to happen. He played smart and he worked hard for it – but, like, he had to know what it was he wanted. 
Am I belaboring this point? Maybe. But I feel like so many people only see Edward as nothing more than a dutiful, responsible, maybe even stuffy oldster with at most an occasional twinkle of fun in his eye and, hell, often that’s not even a big problem (though I think it sells short later characters who arrive and who are ACTUALLY more unambitious and above-it-all than Edward - for instance, I think Donald and Douglas are actually our first tender engines who show up and legitimately just never once give a shit about their status, at least not beyond the status of ‘alive’ vs. ‘dead’). But I think it IS a problem, that it does lead you wrong, when you bring that assumption to bear on Edward’s relationship with Gordon. Edward never "mentors" Gordon. It’s a fundamentally competitive relationship. Oh, maybe it shouldn’t be! It shouldn’t be, because Edward is not jealous by nature and so if Gordon were halfway chill himself it never would have been. And it shouldn’t be, because Gordon so easily outclasses Edward that there should be no reason for Gordon to ever get jealous, either. But they both manage, somehow. Edward’s not just benignly pulling a quarter out of Gordon’s ear every so often, to gently remind him that Gordon doesn’t know everything yet. He might have settled into this role, if Gordon hadn’t scared the existential shit out of him throughout the ‘20s, but Gordon did and so Edward didn’t. Edward’s in it to win it, babe! He accepts that his express days are over, but he’s not willing to be told he never again gets a cut of the cake, either – and, when Gordon snubs him, Edward is not just rising above the fray and letting it go. They’re always playing tug-of-war. 
To reiterate: I don't think Edward is faking friendship after Gordon's failed express. He's really working on it – and he might have had more success letting go of the previous wounds Gordon inflicted on his ego – if only Gordon had stopped that sort of shit, going forward! 
But that's asking too much. It's still the 1920s, baby; Gordon's gonna Gordon; so what's a little tender engine to do? 
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queenvhagar · 2 days ago
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It’s hilarious when TBs cry “Rhaenyra TRAINED to be heir” because that honestly makes her look worse. Wdym she spent 20 years training and managed to fuck things up more than Aegon, who got pulled out of the trash 2 days ago?
Legitimately and it's why nerfing the Greens was such a dumb choice 😭
Like what do you mean you apparently trained your whole life (which btw spending years away from court hiding from bastard rumors "managing" Dragonstone is not really training for ruling an entire kingdom, especially when it comes to navigating political realities when in power) (but then again that's something she no doubt figured she could ignore in favor of ruling with hardcore fire and blood and fear of dragons and Daemon)
Like apparently you "trained your whole life" for this and you're somehow the only one divinely ordained and suited and qualified enough to rule...
AND YET SOMEHOW up against these apparently incompetent, short-sighted, impulsive Greens, who are made up of:
- a drunk dude who's apparently never been trained to rule despite him ruling being the plan since he was a baby, who appoints his unqualified and unnamed frat boys to Kingsguard, bullies his brother in public, drunk flies his dragon to battle, and executes a dozen dudes for "no reason" causing a "PR disaster"
- a kinslayer attempted kingslayer who took out one of his side's only dragons and rider because he got bullied :( and now he hates his brother and wants power and also he's gonna nuke a village for no reason except to feel powerful and manly I guess... also he unfairly does nothing about Rhaenyra's blockade and it's HIS fault people are starving from the blockade apparently and that's why the common people LOVE Rhaenyra SO much
- the dowager queen who converted to Team Black out of sapphic longing for a woman she was friends with decades ago for a couple of years, who willingly sells out her entire family to the enemy, including the son she crowned, two other sons fighting for the war she started, her father who was her only ally at court, her brother who was the only one to sympathize with her position, her sworn shield who lives to serve her and protect her family, her uncle and his men leading the Hightower host out of Oldtown, most of her family's dragons who will die defending their riders... all for the chance to win the favor of a woman who never showed any ounce of care for how her life turned out and the sacrifice she made (in fact the woman who was remorseless about her son's eye getting cut out, who blatantly pushed lies that endangered her whole family, who married a man who hates her whole family and wants them dead) (she fails in winning her favor) but girls stick together - girl power! And she's finally free from the confines of medieval feudalist patriarchy :) (except there's nowhere for her to go and no way to live her life as a free woman in any capacity as the wife of the former king and a highborn lady, unless she wants to try to be a survivalist in the wild or go to Essos and join a pleasure house, which, again, not really "free" and sustainable long term options for her)
- a poor helpless infantalized neurodivergent woman who can't even ride her dragon because she doesn't like it for some reason and she's incapable of acting outside of autistic stereotypes, also she's totally fine about her 6 year old getting murdered in front of her very eyes now, and actually she's gonna use her visions to condemn the brother who's always had her family's back up until this point and instead help the man responsible for her child's death, because she's seen the Grand Design and wants to help Team Black now :)
- "misogynist incel" but somehow also at the same time "Alicent worshipping and unreasonably Rhaenyra hating sex toy" (don't think about why he might have valid reasons to hate this particular woman) who doesn't think ahead and is apparently the most violent terrible hypocritical person in this show (don't think too hard about the show making him Dornish and casting a brown actor and the implications it has for this character on and off screen because the show and mainstream fandom won't!)
- offscreen brother nobody barely remembers who only just started riding his dragon apparently
- former Hand of the King immediately fired and sent away and captured off screen after doing nothing to help the war effort apparently
- Lannister twin off to Essos to fuck several wives and mud wrestle LOL!!
- foot fetishist shadowy creep (don't think about how they made a disabled character have a fetish involving their disability for no reason)
AND YET SOMEHOW against THESE villains... she can't even beat them 😭 she can't beat THESE guys who at this point are actively helping her out... she can't take and hold the throne against THESE Greens...
Like way to just completely make her and her team look equally incompetent by failing to take on THESE foes and instead elect to... mope... complain... do nothing except what others tell you to do... basically make no real decisions of your own except... dress as a nun and sneak into enemy territory with no real plan, leaving nobody in charge while you're gone despite a war looming... and burn a group of people alive for no reason to get dragons that you immediately refuse to use... ride dragon... speak a foreign language... cry... kiss your advisor immediately after she opens up about being violently assaulted and mutilated and never bring it up again... girlboss 💪💅
Truly astounding how badly they managed to fumble the bag with the show. Like. My god 😭 THIS was your vision for the historic Dance of Dragons aka the worst civil war in Westerosi history where both sides were Targaryens with dragons who destroyed each other and the Realm in their quest for power? Like THIS is what the singers in mainline ASOIAF books were singing about? 😭😭😭 bruh 😭😭😭
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this-is-exorsexism · 12 hours ago
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a huge part of anti-contradictory labels rhetoric is exorsexist af. including arguments like "well nonbinary people can use these labels but binary can't" because it's degendering of at least some nonbinary people.
this is exorsexism.
yes, this is something i've observed, too. like "bi lesbians aren't valid because lesbian means non-men loving non-men", oh, so you think "non-man" is one single gender? i've also seen people say that nonbinary men fall under non-man, despite being men, because people love to erase one part of someone's gender always. and saying "this label is only okay for nonbinary people" is singling us out again in a weird way because most likely, binary people, especially transgender and intersex people, also have a reason to use them. like i know there's bi people out there who do conceptualise their orientation as half gay and half straight, so just let them identify as straight gays and move the hell on.
plus, it always shifts which labels are seen as contradictory or not, "nonbinary lesbian" used to be highly controversial, as well as labels like "pan aroace". they just choose a victim of the month.
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blacklegsanjiii · 2 days ago
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Ooh god, I loved your Shanks x Sora post so muuuuch <3
But, can I dump a little ship here?
Bellmere x Sora. Just. These two raising Sanji, Nojiko and Nami together (and Sanji not being weird about girls bc of that). Or even ALL the 01234ji siblings + Nojiko & Nami bc Sora deserves to raise all her precious babies like she wanted. They winning against Arlong and his crew and living as a happy little family who basically is loved by all Cocoyashi. Maybe even with ZeffSora! Siblings bc him and Bellmere as in-laws would be funny as hell.
Maybe the crew meets Sanji + Nami at the same time, bc both work on the Baratie or whatever. Maybe Arlong tries, after years, to take Cocoyashi and they hear about it so Zeff sends Sanji & Nami and goes, too. The crew (Luffy, actually) goes to help too, afterall these two will join the crew/are crewmates.
Maybe Lusan and Namivivi happens. Maybe their mothers + siblings (or just sister) hear about it and can't wait to know/see again Vivi and Luffy. Maybe WCI hurts deeper, because Nami knows why her big brother is doing this, but hurts her heart all the same. Maybe, she does slaps him, but hugs him right after. Maybe, after hearing about Pudding and the cuffs, she is 10x angrier.
Maybe, their relationship is more. Something happier, just platonic from both sides. Maybe, when Luffy and Sanji start dating, Nami half threatens Luffy to take care of her brother, and Sanji does the same about Vivi and Nami.
Just, maybe.
I'm ALIVE! There's a lot going on in my life but I think I'm back on it as well as Golden being almost done, should be updating within the next couple of months but let's focus on this!
I love this and I have seen some fanart of this ship of dead Sora and Bellemere watching their kids and Bellemere just losing it for Sora. Which is valid. Sora looks like the lipstick lesbian of my dreams sometimes. Bellemere is definitely stares because hot damn, even when she was a marine she's never seen someone as pretty as that. Because this woman and a kid who looks just like her rolled up in Cocoyashi and Bellemere just stopped and Nojiko and Nami are confused about why she's staring at the woman and her son. Bellemere will bring her girls to deliver to oranges to town and collect payments and the blonde woman is now working in the bar. Bellemere will talk with her lightly and listen, she's pretty. She's so fucking pretty. Bellemere tries to keep her cool which she feels like she lost when she got her girls but the woman seems to pay it no mind. (I need oblivious Sora)
Sora introduces herself after a few trips when she realizes that hasn't happened yet and Bellemere introduces herself and her girls and Sora shakes their hands and looks around and calls for Sanji who pops out from somewhere and introduces him to the lovely ladies. Sanji is rather quiet, especially compared to Nami and Nojiko. He's helping around the bar, collecting dishes and cups and he sneaks around like he's afraid to get caught. Nami and Nojiko will come find him on the off days and try to get him to play with them as Sora will collect the extra food the bar didn't use to make something for them. Sora will call to Sanji in another language to collect him and the girls when it's time to eat. She sounds an ocean breeze to Bellemere, a language she hasn't heard since she was in the marines and Sanji starts teaching the girls and hearing her girls speak in a language not their own makes Bellemere swoon a bit as they try to talk to Sora in it with a serene smile and taking the time to help them. Sora asks Bellemere if she'd like to learn it as well and Bellemere hastily nods.
One day a grumpy man with a peg leg comes to buy out most of their oranges. Bellemere can't help but mention how he looks like the barmaid in town and her son when the chef laughs.
"Sora and her son Sanji? Aye, that'd be my baby sister and nephew. They are actually the ones who mentioned the produce here. Gotta admit it's been a while since I've seen this quality." The chef smiles.
"Oh, she hasn't mentioned a brother." Bellemere replies, slightly in shock as Nami and Nojiko look at the man.
"I'm Zeff, Sora is doing well here. Far more than where she was. I best be off though." Zeff says as he loads the crate. "And Miss Bellemere, you have to be extremely blunt with my sister. She ain't been around many normal folk." Nami and Nojiko start giggling as Bellemere gawks at the man as he leaves with the cart full of produce and just leaves. Bellemere doesn't quite believe him until she starts actively flirting and it goes over the woman's head more often than not. Bellemere looks at Sora and says something about Zeff saying she needed to be blunt but she wasn't hoping that blunt and Sora looks at her confused and Bellemere is flushed as she stutters about wanting to spend the night with Sora, alone, no kids, just the two of them.
Sora is bright red. Sanji pulls the girls out to go play in the orchard and run and climb the trees. He boosts Nami and Nojiko up into the trees and giggle with the girls he now considers his sisters and they plot to get them together. Whenever Zeff visits they'll go hide on the Baratie and Patty and Carne will laugh at the kids and Zeff will let them stow away until the morning. Zeff will teach the girls more of the language and hoist the girls to his shoulders and walk them around the restaurant. Sanji tells them what he remembers of the North Blue on the roof top of Baratie and the constellations there. Nami says she wants to go she can draw a map, Nojiko says she wants to see snow. Zeff smiles at his niblings and is proud of the new family Sora has created for herself.
I love the idea that Arlong doesn't take Cocoyashi until later so Sora and Bellemere definitely get closer over all the times the kids disappear to the Baratie until Sanji is gone more often than not because he's working and then Nami joins not long after. Sora and Sanji moved to the orchard not long after the women started dating and Sanji cooks a myriad of orange dishes as Nami and Nojiko make the peels into pinwheels like Bellemere does and Bellemere also provides protection to the town with the sheriff whenever people try to invade. Bellemere watches in awe as Sora manages to end fights quickly between the kids. Bellemere asks the woman to marry her and Sora agrees. At the wedding Zeff told Bellemere to be blunt and look where it got them. Married. Bellemere groans and says she's just so pretty and kind and nice that all she wants to do is make her happy forever. Zeff says that's why told Sora if she didn't marry Bellemere he would never let her live it down. Bellemere stares at him as he pats her shoulder and goes and dances with her daughters.
When Sanji and Nami are working on the Baratie everyone knows they are siblings and there's a third one of them. Sanji and Nami make an excellent team and Zeff constantly tells his sister and her wife that they are never getting those kids back. They're his now and when Nojiko eventually decides to come join the crew they're all his and Sora will argue with him until she's blue in the face and she's yelling in Northern and nothing makes Bellemere want to pin her down more than a pissed off Sora talking in another language. Sometimes Nami and Sanji can calm her down over the denden. Sanji's cooking has only gotten better so he treats his family to it whenever they're home. It's the best times of their lives so far because Nami's map of the East Blue is coming along really well and she and Sanji still somehow manage to share a room and pool their money together to buy gifts for their moms and Nojiko and books for themselves. It's great.
Until Sanji feeds some guy and he leads a destroyed galleon to them and some kid told Sanji he was going to be his cook and Sanji refused questioningly and then Mihawk shows up and almost kills the swordsman and Nami leaves with them to get the guy medical care. Then after they defeat the crew of the galleon, some guy called Don Krieg Sanji gets a phone call saying there's pirates attacking Cocoyashi so he takes the rubber kid with him to get home and is complaining because he's not Nami and he's not the best at navigation and Luffy is giggling saying he found his cook and navigator. Sanji is blinking at him like he's dumb as bricks but he's just so endearing Sanji gives up. Sure, he'll join the crew. He doesn't make a promise about Nami joining because she has her own choice to make. Once they arrive at the orchard he's enveloped in hugs from his moms and sisters and explaining it's a warlord's little brother, his name is Arlong and he's trying to take over the island and Luffy promises he won't let that happen. Nami says he wants the map to the grandline she bought and he took it in exchange for their lives and Luffy says he'll get it back too since she's his navigator and Nami looks incredously at him and Sanji said he already agreed to be the cook. Nami stares at her older brother as Nojiko looks at Bellemere in a 'what are we going to do about this?' way since she was a marine. Sora is losing it and laughing so hard because piracy runs in the family technically. She's losing her god damn mind over it and Zoro and Usopp are worried she might pass out.
After they beat Arlong and Sanji's still soaking wet from fighting a guy under water they go back home and are met with praise and cheers and Sanji cooks for the town and Nami does agree to be the navigator for the crew and they set off, declaring their dreams and becoming the Strawhat Pirates officially with a glorious flag. When they meet Vivi and agree to give her and Karoo passage and help take back Alabasta. Sanji notices how his sister and Vivi keep looking at each other and somehow manages to get them time alone and nicer food. They enjoy it and thank him because yeah, they're getting close and Sanji does want his sister happy. Nami on the other hand watches her brother be obliviously endeared to the captain who clearly has feelings for him and makes bets with Vivi about it. Then Nami gets sick and Vivi and Sanji are worried but luckily the next island has a doctor because she's only been getting sicker. So they make their way to a bitterly cold island that reminds Sanji of the worst times of his life. He hasn't told his moms that Nami is sick so they don't worry about them. Then he kicks his baby sister and captain out of the way and takes the full force of an avalanche. When he comes to he finds his captain staring at him and Sanji is so fucking dazed as Luffy tells him not to do that again because he loves Sanji and Sanji thinks he just loves Sanji as his cook and Sanji promises not to worry his captain again. Luffy nods and holds Sanji's hand before they end up chasing a reindeer and check on Nami. Then they help defend the jolly roger on top of the castle. When Nami finds out as they're escaping Sanji broke his fucking back she wrings his neck and threatens to call their moms because 'I don't care what your dad did, fucking fuck, Sanji!' as he's apologizing but he feels fine. Vivi kisses Nami because she's better and Luffy is laughing because they got a doctor now. And then when they meet Ace who's flirting goes straight over Sanji's head and Ace gets punched by Luffy for even thinking of taking the cook while their captain declares Sanji as his. Vivi asks Nami if this is normal and Nami's long drawn-out sigh that he's just like his mother and when their moms finally got together it's because it took forever for Sora to take the hint. It's a wonder how their moms got married. Vivi and Chopper are looking at her and Nami shrugs and says they should have seen it when he was waiting on Baratie when the other waiters quit and it just those two waiting, she saw so many people get let down by his oblivious antics. It was bad. It was so bad. Nami made so much money off betting on him though. It was great.
Sanji pulls his sneaky shit and Nami looks at him unimpressed after they free Alabasta and Luffy is clinging to him. It's actually fucking adorable and Nami takes a picture to send home, just as Sanji sneaks one of Nami and Vivi being absolutely lost in each other. They send the photo's seperately but they get one letter back with a photo of the photos hanging up and congratulations on bagging the captain and the princess respectively. They look at each other with deadened eyes and Sanji asks when he and Luffy started dating and Nami says at least Drum if not before, that's why he punched his brother over him. Sanji blinks at her before finding Luffy and asking if they're dating and Luffy says 'Duh!' with a laugh and Sanji rubs his temples. Luffy just wraps around him and plants a sloppy kiss to Sanji's cheek. It's rough, especially when everyone laughs at him. Life continues on for the crew as normal, even through Sabaody just with more letters. Bellemere and Sora constantly asking if they're okay and what they can send to help along with pictures of Cocoyashi and Nojiko and the orchard waiting for them at home. But then on Sabaody the crew with more members and more scars is ripped apart and separated. Sanji has failed his captain and his sister and his moms, Nami has failed her captain, and Luffy has failed his family, his crew, the love of his life. Vivi weeps openly at the news of Marineford and Bellemere stares at the paper as Sora screams curses and heaves sobs out of her chest for losing her son again and now losing a daughter as Nojiko shakes with anger. Two years pass.
Two whole years pass. Two years of getting stronger, of worrying about Luffy who watched his brother die. Of speaking in Northern to feel comfort to no one who understands. Nami remembers speaking in it with Sanji when they wanted to talk shit or Sanji got so excited about something he just slipped into his native tongue and accent, he used to sing to Luffy in it after they actually got together. Hearing it in person after so long as they run to each other, and she leaps into his arms and he catches her and holds onto her. The words falling from his mouth like the rain used to pour in Cocoyashi and Robin smiles sweetly at them and Franky sobs about siblings reuniting. Luffy comes barreling after a while and barrels into Sanji when he's getting groceries and kisses him so fucking hard. They depart Sabaody with allies and friends made during their time apart protecting them as Luffy begs Sanji to cook for him, which he does. Nami smiles and Sanji catches it and smiles back, it looks just like his All Blue Smile and she knows he loves with his whole heart, wears it on his sleeve Luffy holds it so kindly. Just like Vivi holds her's safe back in Alabasta. How Cocoyashi also holds segments of their hearts with their moms and sister. They make it through Fishman Island and to Punk Hazard and Law stares at the Cat Burglar and Cook who speak in Northern and when he slips into their conversations they grin at him and warn him to not let Luffy know. Law takes this warning to heart.
Nami stares in horror because her brother is a self-sacrificing idiot, it's just like when he got struck by lightning on Skypeia except he's strung up by a fucking evil moron. She's screaming for him as Law frees him and they send off. Nami's helping bandage him and Sanji gives her that shit eating grin because he would always protect his little sister. He does it all over again with that damned self sacrificing smile as he signs his death warrant basically and Nami is screaming for him as he's promising to come back, and Nami knows he's believing that he'll come back but she figured out that this would either end in him leaving the crew or dying. She screams until her voice is raw and running after them to get him back. When Luffy and them make it to Zou everyone notices the teary eyes of Nami immediately as she latches to Luffy and Chopper hurls himself into Usopp's. Sanji is gone, his father took him to marry him off and if they don't get him back he might die. Luffy is staring at her because of Sanji's promise on Drum Island is ringing through the captain's head.
Sora, Bellemere, and Nojiko are staring at Sanji's bounty poster between working and trying to find news on the siblings. When the denden in town rings and someone comes to tell them it's for them and they all but run. It's Nami, she's sobbing and apologizing because it was the Vinsmoke's that took him. She and Luffy and several others are going after him, to get him back. Sora tells her as much as she can, being locked in medical meant she wasn't privy to as much as she would like, but still, better than nothing. Nami thanks them and says she'll call when they get him back. Bellemere holds her wife and daughter as they start sobbing and when she gets them home and calmed down she decides to cash in a few favors owed from her time as a marine. Several calls later she makes sure that there's back up for her kids, whether they want it or not. Come Hell or high-water Bellemere will not lose any of them. When the rescue team makes it to the carriage. Nami watches in horror at the hold these people have over her brother but steels herself as she marches forward after her captain falls. She marches over to Sanji and his eyes only show pain and sorrow and guilt as Nami slaps him, quickly pulling him into her arms and his whispered apologies but he he has to as he shoves her off. Luffy stands and yells at him, Nami staring after them while clenching her fists, tears spilling down her face because she's so angry. Angry at his dad for taking him away, angry that Sanji feels he has no choice, angry at herself for not fighting for him. Whole Cake continues normally but after though, small group of what seem to be Marines help the Strawhat Pirates on their escape. They're all about Bellemere's age, which confuses the rescue team and Sanji because why? After they make it to calmer waters the marines yell to them to tell Bellemere they're even now and to stop being so much like their mother. Luffy laughs and plants a big old kiss on Sanji's cheek as Nami yells back for them to fuck off essentially. They can't really think of better people to emanate. They go call their moms and sister and calm them down, more or less, they're pissed and rightfully so. They don't know Zeff is standing with them until he says something like 'I'm calling everyone who owes me favors now, your exhusband is dead, little sister' causing a ruckus on both sides of the denden. Don't piss of their moms.
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ii-neg-confessions · 19 hours ago
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Hello, I only recently found this blog and it finally clicked why everything in ii felt so off to me. So much undertoned bigotry.
I am going to use bullet points about my feelings so I don't go off trail.
1. I like the show but as in "this has potential, I like the concepts, I like the ideas and I like the characters to some extent. I just wish it was in the hands of actual good people and writers." I am not that shocked by the revelation that AE is horrible, I just assumed that was the case, I don't know them irl + when creators become popular they usually become scums (but AE was probably scums on earth way before their popularity.)
2. As a Southern Asian, I felt really weird about candle, especially silvercandle. And reading this blog it started to make sense, she's something about that area's (maybe just Asia in general, I wouldn't put it past AE to generalise the largest continent and all their countries) culture (? I hope i am making sense) and obviously Asia is still a big place and I can't speak for all plus I only watched the shit show of III once so I don't want to have to go through it again just for this point to make sense because you already know how horrid it is.
3. Bomb's character is ass, just an excuse to make fun of speech impediments (pls tell me I wrote it correctly) I don't have anything beyond him about that. So obviously it just feels like ablelism, actually no, it is ablelism. I am not disabled but I am sure that making the only part of a character his disability is not done in good faith.
4. The rep is dogshit. Not even enby and I feel bad for all the rep that gets praised to bits.
5. Weird writing choices, the plot points are alright ig, just wish they weren't written by bigots. (Someone pls rewrite this shitty show)
6. The whole Cabby thing just felt weird like really weird. Why is she antagonised for essentially doing what fan does and having a very valid reason to do it , it's her disability aid(? Maybe I am wrong but I do not respect the show enough to rewatch it)
7. Someone pls save Paper, he doesn't deserve this dog shit DID rep. I hate the implications that people who do face the problem he does are evil like is that the lesson you wanna teach kids? Like especially kids with mental disorders who might watch your show, actually who are watching your show?
8. The excuse of "it's a kids show" is dumb. Kids deserve content that teaches them something actually nice. The excuse that kids don't care about what you show them is exactly why we end up with adults like the meatheads on AE. These things, the shows they watch majorly affect these children. And I don't think a kid should carry the values of a fucking Zionist, and have that subtle not so subtle subtle bigotry in their mind. And obviously it's not just shows which affect them (duh) it's a combination of the media they consume, the adults around them and various other factors but media definitely affects a child's ideologies but I am definitely not smart enough to comment on that.
9. Obviously I am not really mad at a fictional show but I am mad at the very real people with real actions that have consequences, are continuing to be horrible and do not apologise for it.
Uh end note I guess, I hope the people on AE start changing now and if they don't then I hope they die choking on their lunches because they don't deserve to go out with things like murder, bombs, shit that will obviously be used to make you feel bad about them. I hope they get heart attacks and die.
Anyways something positive, to my knowledge, there is only one admin for this and all I gotta tell them is that they are doing great and I thank them.
Glad to be waking up people against this bullshit show and this bullshit crew
also thanks for following!
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toasthaste · 2 days ago
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ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)
I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.
I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)
I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...
Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!
I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?
THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!
God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.
And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.
All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.
There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!
Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....
What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.
Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.
Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.
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thank you. (again) i appreciate the advice very much so, and this is probably a lot to unpack amongst other things; so i have a fair amount of things that i should probably sit on for a while. not like i didn’t already but regardless
i think that a lot, if not all of what you said are valid observations and/or true. so let me elaborate
“I guess the core question, if you want to finally hash out your feelings on this one way or another, is: why are you so afraid of calling yourself a fox? Or at least, why are you so determined that that can't be the case?”
i actually spent a while calling myself a fox not long ago. i ENJOYED it, it feels good to say, sure, but it just felt like too much of an empty statement when my own actions (or anything really) don’t back up that statement. it’s like i don’t have “proof”. i can technically call myself anything; but the affirmation carries dubious meaning when that’s all there is to it. “i am (x)”. it’s there though, and i would know because the feeling is a lot more prominent when i’ve been called it by others in the past
may i add that i don’t really live in a situation where i can openly express something like that in real life. i still get occasionally taunted from the time i was openly a furry (4/6 years ago) and i don’t think it’s something people around me would ever take well.
but to answer your question. i suffer from holding the “it isn’t something that would happen to me” mentality (if that makes sense). i seem to hold that idea a lot, even outside of this context. there is a very real and recognisable mental wall that i have constructed that separates me from the concept of “being something else”. i’m not sure why or how that became a thing at all, other than the way i try to perceive these concepts (from an “outside view”) but it’s just the way i end up thinking for some reason. it feels slightly irrational, especially considering everything else, but it’s not something i actively mean to do
even when i do try to entertain it, i think i have a predetermined belief that my own “being” of these things is somehow inherently less than others. that in particular probably comes from a lack of emotional permanence. imposter syndrome? i don’t know
nevertheless i genuinely can not thank you enough for taking a moment to understand. the advice is useful, and i value it. and don’t worry about overstepping; i can assure that you didn’t. i hope (once again) that this was worded coherently enough to be understood
i don’t think my words hold much value to people like you, and i don’t think you would be willing to listen or take it to heart, but it’s still worth trying. i would like you to realise that you are human in every way. you are not an animal, you are not a dragon. (you probably already know this. maybe you’re in denial. i don’t know) either way, none of you would actually be willing to give it even a second of thought because you’re insecure about yourself, and you’re insecure because you know you’re human. i assure you that you will not reach full personal contentment until you live out your life without pretending to be a mythical creature. wtv have a good day
Ooh, I haven’t gotten one of these asks in a few years.
So I ask this, and every other question I will follow up with, completely genuinely, and if you’re willing to really get into the weeds discussing it I’d love to do so (though I’ll probably reblog any follow-ups to my other blog): why do you think you know me and my experiences better than I do?
Why do you think you can armchair diagnose me with insecurity? What evidence do you actually have for that, besides the fact that I’m nonhuman? What evidence do you have that I’m not already content and fulfilled in my life?
Is it possible that identifying as nonhuman is unrelated to those things entirely, and you’re making a false assumption?
I get it. It looks crazy, when you’re completely new to the concept. It’s weird - it is! But pause and listen to us when we talk about our experiences for a moment.
For many of us, myself included, finding nonhumanity is a moment of suddenly understanding - of pieces falling into place, of my life experiences suddenly making sense. Awakening is something that made me more content and fulfilled, not less - there’s a sadness in it sometimes, yes, but so too is there the comfort of understanding yourself in a new way, of realizing, oh. I’m not just weird. There’s not something wrong with me. There are other people like me.
(If this sounds a lot like the experience of figuring out you’re queer, there’s a reason for that.)
To use myself as an example of the flaws in your hypothesis: there’s… honestly not much dissatisfaction with my life right now. I’ve got a stable job with decent income. I’d like to be able to cut back my hours a bit, but that will come in time. I’ve got enough free time as it is to do my art and play my tabletop games with friends in my off time. I’ve got family and friends around me. Sure, I miss my wings, but I’m hoping to pick up powered paragliding in the near future and hoping that’ll scratch that itch at least somewhat. I’m doing pretty well, honestly. This isn’t the case for all otherkin, but it’s not the case for all orthohumans (people who aren’t alterhuman in any way) either. What it does indicate, however, is that your hypothesis that being otherkin inherently means you’re insecure and unhappy with your life is false, or at minimum flawed - if it were true, I wouldn’t exist.
So, I ask again: why do you think you understand my own experiences better than I do? And moreover, why does it bother you so much that I am the way I am?
The name for the thing you’re doing here, intentionally or not, is concern trolling - trying to push me out of an identity by professing concern for problems that don’t exist. Why? Why are you going out of your way to tell other people they’re wrong about their own identity? Why is your reaction, when you see an identity you don’t understand, to decide it’s unhealthy, or just make-believe, or whatever, and then to make that the problem of the people who identify that way? What exactly makes you think this is inherently unhealthy?
Would it not be better to devote that energy to trying to understand us, instead of trying to change us?
You don’t have to answer these questions to me, obviously, but I do encourage you to answer them to yourself at least. Pick apart your worldview for a minute and see if it actually holds up under scrutiny - it’s good for you, and mental enrichment to boot! If you are willing to really get into the weeds of this discussion with me, again, I’d love to do that - I love having discussions like this, and it’s good for me to have my worldview challenged every so often too! Please, genuinely, pick at the flaws in my logic if you see them - if it can be pulled apart under scrutiny, it needs to be pulled apart and rebuilt. No one on the internet is obligated to let a stranger do that, obviously, but personally I enjoy it - it’s a meat pumpkin for me - so let’s talk, if you’re up for it. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten a good interesting antikin to debate with.
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calamitousxlove · 2 years ago
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I do not like Colleen Hoover books at all, two out of the three I read are probably the worst books I’ve read this year. That being said, I feel like her books are getting the twilight treatment 🧌 otherwise known as: has reasons to be given valid critiques, but instead is hated solely because it has a big audience of young women/girls. Like, I have never met a Colleen Hoover girly that wasn’t nice 💔 why are we insulting the girls who enjoy reading those books, when it’s easy to acknowledge that just because someone likes something doesn’t mean it’s good.
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daily-odile · 10 months ago
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Odile patting Molly Epithet Erased on the head, you know why
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have two bc i care them
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gracemarkss · 4 months ago
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this exchange goes crazy...dana "i worship the sea he sailed on" "i did it because i knew if he found out he would kill me" "part of me likes it, needs it, wants the approval" " along the way there are other fathers" "i thought you'd be pleased" "he was my instructor at the academy" "he must have been a wonderful teacher...yes, he's remarkable man" "your fear of failing him?" scully would know a thing or two about THAT...
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