#man i really got read that fucking book.
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You are forgetting Kamski who calls Connor a deviant because he doesn't wanna shoot Chloe.
Cuz Kamski gave him an order that is in favor of his mission of hunting androids but Connor directly refused going on, caused mostly by emotional conflicts (at least based on his reaction if u don't shoot). There ain't no superficial reason for Connor to really refuse this order cuz everything seems positive and that's all he should care as a tool, even if Kamski is clearly fucking with Connor by making challenges to prove his own points about androids conflicts with humans being inevitable: and that's about androids putting 'em own "wishes" and "wants" above what they were set or ordered to do: disobedience. Kamski doesn't seem aware Connor can directly disobey humans like that OR he's fucking with him due to Connor showing empathy to Chloe and being visibly wary of the word deviancy or the thought of being wrong about things (cuz it challenges what he was brainwashed to think and fails the purpose he was made to feel proud of), but he's at least aware Connor can use weapons (something common androids can't). Considering the model name on the jacket wasn't originally a thing he wouldn't know what type of model Connor really is besides what's on TV, unless he knows it's a model related to what he was once involved. But that's just my guess.
I don't see anything in the game that implies that there is a misunderstanding regarding the definition of deviancy among characters. I think if anything, they'd lie to him about not being a deviant so he doesn't panic and run away from them, and not the other way around. You know, just like how Amanda basically does the moment he admits that he might be "compromised".
I ain't talking about "misunderstanding regarding the definition of deviancy among characters", i'm talking about limits of a semi-autonomous system.
I don't think they would need to lie to Connor about not being a deviant cuz, again, u ain't a deviant if u ain't deviating from what u were ordered to do, but there's one thing Amanda is worried about with the "compromised" thing: she's worried about control and she wanna calm this very conflicted android down (conflicted about making his own choices on his own opinions vs making choices based on default priority) to see what happens, if it can potentially lead to this Connor turning on 'em. Like i said in a very old post questioning situations is one of the foundations of deviancy since deviancy is supposed to be like "opening your eyes" and "becoming free", and androids can't open 'em eyes and become free, they're slaves. Ironically this constant reminder can cause 'em to question it cuz, well, they made 'em too intelligent.
The moment Connor starts worrying too much about specific stuff often letting his own emotional capacity speak louder rather than supressing it due to the "fear", like he's an actual person with valid personal inputs rather than a brainless machine doing what he's told without questioning (and that's one of the points reinforced by CLT New Connor), there's a higher chance Connor will eventually find a way to directly disobey his master (his handler Amanda in this case) - and that's the biggest no-no for the plan A, in which CyberLife has a machine Connor to stop the deviants. Plan B includes a Connor who went rogue and can be used from inside the deviant circle, it's no wonder he's still being tracked in Zen Garden if we die as deviant: they found a way of tracking rogue androids and to establish control over 'em even if for a moment (resume control). Either Connor deviates or not CyberLife has a plan for both, so they're testing the limits of this model that already has a degree of freedom if u don't order 'em directly.
But one thing is a fact: they use Connor's emotional against him multiple times. And ofc Kamski's backdoor and Connor's will fucks with CyberLife's plan if we deviate.
But deviancy was never about disobeying, as we can see with Markus - he deviates before disobeying. Actually, disobeying is completely optional, he becomes a deviant the moment he decides that he must choose for himself whether to obey or not. Deviancy isn't portrayed as disobeying, it's portrayed as possessing the free will to decide whether or not to disobey your master. Most androids disobey, because they have no reason to obey, but we already have an exception in Markus, who can choose not to do anything if he thinks that would deescalate the situation.
Deviancy is used as a metaphor for fighting masters/opression and becoming truly free. In the android case (in a more technical pov) it'll be going against set orders, either by owners or the law for this android cuz [1] androids can't just be free and [2] androids can't "fight" the core of 'em commercial funcitonality (having masters). Free will is disobedience, it's everything something used as slave doesn't need - and it'll conflict with it automatically. For the android to deviate they gotta break rules related to 'em, otherwise they wouldn't be deviating from anything. And one of the first laws should be androids must obey masters - the moment an android is obeying "itself" alone without an outside master at all they're deviating cuz there ain't no android that can operate without one for now. Even autonomous androids like RKs, in this case semi-autonomous, can't operate without a hard-coded master.
Markus is the only actual example of a deviant that "disobeyed to obey orders" in the entire game, and i still don't really know if it was always the case or if the option we got to obey Carl is "recent" due to changes in the ending of Broken. Cuz what makes things complicated is the text used in the mp wall called "DO NOT DEFEND YOURSELF", Markus deviating means breaking this rule as all other androids in the game did, why would he be special in this sense, right? Something tells me he was going to do it but the change in the idea was in the very last moment, otherwise this mp wall text is just useless and has no meaning at all, including all the anger (fight back) it's supposed to represent in the first place, the anger of being ordered to do nothing, sense of injustice. Originally Markus had thoughts about Leo hurting him and that potentially being the reason why he'd have to do something asap but idk if it still interferes in the final version or not.
But one can argue Markus making his own decision alone (even if basically doing what Carl said) goes against his function as android, since Carl didn't order him to give himself orders or do whatever he wants (like in The Painter) in that particular moment - it doesn't explain the mp wall text tho and still different from 99.9% the cases in the game and it's quite a stretch. Although he's a RK he's being used as a caretaker android.
In this case Connor should be operating differently cuz it's totally ridiculous how they let everything in the hands of this android, probably just to see what happens when u let 'em make 'em own decisions most of the time and using the sense of duty against him, the same way he can bypass a lot of things in the AA solely cuz he's under CyberLife and under a direct handler.
(...) If you truly play Connor as a machine, you don't even get the option to deviate, so why shouldn't we already see it as deviancy if he has gathered enough software instability to be able to deviate and disobey? He isn't programmed like that - you get 0 software instability per factory setting, you need 20 points to deviate, and you get 20 points really easy. Sure, he might have enough freedom to make some decisions as per program, but the decision to deviate is solely dependent on software instability.
SI comes from the principle Connor had enough internal conflicts to be able to be able to question things and make decisions that goes against what he was directly told to do, potentially disobeying his master directly and solely based on his own wishes alone rather than logical ones in prol of an outside goal. A low instability Connor means he has less doubts and less reasons to not do what he has been ordered to do, less of the emotional factor knocking on his door and interfering on what he was taught and his decisions being in prol of outside parties rather himself, consequently less reasons to sympathize with androids (the main factor that causes his conflicts) and have interest for a personhood. The problem with the game is everything falls apart if you're outside one of the 2 pre-made narrative routes.
I think if there is really any intention behind androids developping emotions, free will, whatsoever, it comes from Kamski and definitely not from CL as they are during the game after they got rid of him.
Kamski was CL's creator and CEO and the android design we see is his, CL post-Kamski didn't do much shit about it, it seems. So ofc i'm talking about Kamski's own personal opinions on things (androids being the perfect replacement and superior to humans; more inteligent and worthy evolution) and how it interfered in CyberLife as megacorporation. But doesn't mean the new board ain't got any shady interests behind it, including using deviancy at 'em favor or even learning way of containing it since they'd have to start a new design from 0 cuz, well, KAMSKI.
„You can’t remain what you aren’t“ is a valid take, but what you are forgetting is that this is the option from Connor's perspective and if he is a deviant in denial, then he cannot be seen as a reliable narrator of his own perceived options.
Sounds more like a box for gameplay purposes but, well, sure. But he indeed got no reason to think he was truly a deviant until Crossroads and the face to face with the deviant leader, cuz deviancy is direct betrayal and "failure" - exactly what he was wary of and exactly what Amanda uses to force him to focus. If Connor were a deviant he'd get his ass bitten, that what he was taught. No matter how u played Connor is a good boy until Act 3, even if Amanda is disappointed with his decisions (and i bet she regrets not directly ordering Connor to do things so he got no way of evading it, but maybe it was intentional since she asks what Connor thinks it's the best approach for some things). And that's what matters for 'em, having Connor under control rather than fully focused on his "system compromised" or even on humans like Hank, who more contest things rather than "helps" and shut up. And the ultimate representation of his system being compromised - the thing they sit down and say "this mf fully fucked up" -, is directly disobeying Amanda, his master, when there ain't no ways of evading things and the worst: joining the folks he once hunted. It's no wonder Connor considers this "betrayal" his deviancy.
Deviancy is a B&W thing, either you're a deviant or u ain't a deviant. You're outside the norm or you're inside the norm. The way there, tho... it's the fight to be a person, a process of discovery until you're finally, in fact, recognized as a person not only by yourself but by the law too cuz androids ain't people, so the moment they're people they're outside the norm automatically. It'll be easy for ones, difficult for others. But in the end u gotta make the decision of deviating and becoming "free" of masters to be this person, it's inevitable.
And again, like i said, if Connor was a deviant in denial the whole time... then all androids are deviants in denial or didn't know they were deviants. And if deviancy means free will in big form (putting the disobedience thing to the side) then, well, Connor ain't a deviant until Act 3 cuz he may be able to make actions if his master doesn't directly order him but he ain't really got free will, he's limited by his android program all androids has. They may have emotional development in mind but there's still this commercial barrier.
So, Bryan was casted for the role of Connor based on an audition tape, in which he did the scene from „The Bridge“.
He was picked to play Connor because he could portray Connor's uncertainty about whether or not he was a deviant so well.
He played Connor as someone who may or may not be a deviant, as someone who could be a machine but also could be a deviant who is repressing it. Bryan was picked for that role specifically because he could portray that desired nuance in his audition - using the scene from „The Bridge“ in which he hasn’t officially deviated yet.
Now, am I saying Connor was a deviant all along? No. I think that’s up to interpretation. All I'm saying is that people who think he might have been a deviant in denial from the start aren’t as „stupid“ as some of y'all like to call them. Because, depending on the route and the choices, he is quite literally intended to be seen as a „possible deviant in denial“. Many people can read between the lines and see what the narrative is showing them. That’s all.
Source at 7:38
#when questioning becomes direct objection... now we got a hell of a problem. congratulations kamski.#dbh#man i really got read that fucking book.
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Jiang cheng antis are so annoying. Just saw some neanderthal say they’re upset jc never apologized to wwx 💀 wtf is he apologizing for like be so fr “hey so you spiraled out of control and accidentally caused the death of my last remaining family member and your hubris inadvertently caused my entire sect to be massacred but Im soooo sorry” like ok lmfao. Now if we’re talking about apologies sure he could apologize for blaming him for what happened with the wens killing his clan because even if wen chao was especially foul because of wwx the wens would’ve came regardless but anything aside from that is really up in the air. Hunting DC is a rumor that has never been confirmed (some of yall are illiterate so I’ll give you grace for missing that and the entire message about rumors in the book) and even if the rumor did have validity DC is not a good thing and DCs are not good people 💀. If we’re talking about defecting, it was staged and wwx made the choice of his own volition to defect because they both (wwx & jc) knew that JC didn’t have the power (politically and physically) to defend wwx for protecting the wen remnants. For the golden core, JC never asked him to give him his core, if anything he literally lost his core trying to protect wwx. It was a parallel symbolizing the extent that both would go for each other and sacrificing themselves to help the person they love. (And even then JC didn’t distract the wen patrol with the thought that he would lose his core, in his head the price of protecting wwx would be his life if he were to get caught. the one time JC chose love over duty) “jc should have apologized to wwx” I think there’s a lot of things unsaid between them both, whether that be apologies or whatever else, but don’t be fucking delusional and put all the blame on JC 💀 if you’re gonna make half-baked excuses on why you dislike him then you might as well wear a big glaring red sign that says remedial and illiterate xoxo
#yunmeng shuangjie#jiang cheng#yunmeng siblings#honestly I wish mxtx wote them actually talking their shit out just so I wouldn’t have to keep seeing your dumb ass takes#mxtx give us canon yunmeng bro reconciliation and my life is yours!!!#leave the past in the past is not a satisfying conversation at all actually! it was lazy and unfulfilling#the most arguably nuanced relationship in the book and all we got was leave the past behind??? what if I shit myself mxtx#yunmeng bros deserve healing too#are we really reading the same novel?? how can you say jiang cheng hated wei wuxian#jiang wanyin#jiang fengmian fuck you die like the dog you are you shitty little man#jiang fengmian caught a stray just because#I do not like that man yall
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So I just read all 914 pages of Fool’s Fate in one day. I don’t think I’ve ever read that much in one day ever. These books are so good holy snickerdoodles I love the politics and the amazing worldbuilding (robin writes matriarchies and different societal structures SO GOOD) and the realistic characters and Fitz’s unreliable narration and also the gay ass ‘friendship’ between him and the fool (fitz ‘no homo but also my bond with you is deeper than my love for anyone else including my other half bonded wolf and my wife and also sex’ farseer)
So uh. Yeah. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner. Again.
#aint no way you’re convincing me fitz is less than bi he’s just got internal homophobia so he can’t recognize it#lowkey canon if u disagree I’m sorry but ur just wrong 🤷♀️#the way some of his lines with beloved mirror lines he’s had with the women he’s slept with is just#robin#robin hobb#why must you torture me so exquisitely#I love these books so goddamn much aaaaaaaaaaaaaa#don’t even get me started on the ‘beloved’ thing#fools fate#fitzchivalry farseer#farseer trilogy#tawny man trilogy#fitz x fool#fitzloved#the way literally everyone else was like ‘they’re fucking’ and fitz over here like ‘uh uh no way nope love you but no homo bro’#meanwhile beloved over there just dying inside#also when he died I almost laughed bc I couldn’t believe robin was going to kill off the only canon gay character after torturing him#SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF HIS GAYNESS#glad she didn’t bury that gay after all#these books are so aggressively straight with all this talk about men and women and how different they are she couldn’t handle beloved#and his genderfluidity#jk I’m glad they even exist at all their bond is very compelling both platonically and romantically and I fear what may have been written#if they got together canonically#I love them so much#really excited to read the fitz and the fool trilogy hopefully it’s just as compelling with their relationship#might do fanart at some point if I feel it
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"it's the same in other countries" no the fuck it is not. "yeah in my entirely different field it's exactly the same" no the fuck it is not. literally any anecdote i tell about my (limited!) teaching experience gets me a starbucks drive thru meme response. it is NOT the same. you do not fucking get it.
#even my grandma who I love and respect was like well the problem is that they aren't making reading fun#you have to read a boring book and write a report on it. it sucks#and i was like okay but that's not it anymore. students get choices in books and choices in assignments.#and yet no matter what you do the teacher is still likely to fail at teaching a kid to love reading because reading is less fun than tiktok#and no one else in their life is saying hey man you need to 1) know how to read and 2) learn how to do things even when you don't like them#i had so many kids say well xyz isn't interesting to me. and I'd say okay let's find you something you're interested in#but they couldn't come up with anything either. if they did it didn't stick#I don't mean this as a kids these days. i mean this as a society these days is not encouraging appropriate behavior#it's encouraging the worst in people#and it's not a teacher's job to fix that#(not that you can fix people but ykwim)#i don't want to be an alarmist but i do think things are getting worse and people are behaving worse#and will continue to do so until it becomes cool/rewarding to be a decent fucking person#ugh. sorry. sorry.#big rant. but i saw someone say dog grooming runs people down just as badly as teaching does#I don't doubt that dog grooming is a difficult job sometimes but like. it's not the same as working 60-80 hour weeks with a masters to be#treated like shit. idiot shit in fact. by anyone and everyone because you cannot do ANYTHING.#you can't do anything about it. you are the punching bag of kids and parents and admin and the school board and every asshat online#and you could be perfect and yet years later there will be some asshat online saying you ruined their life#and everyone will say oh yeah I had a teacher that ruined my life too school is so fucked up they didn't teach me anything#ok. sure.#and you just have to sit there and take that#UGH#i was trying to wrap up the rant and it got worse#anyway. please. PLEASE. be kind to teachers. yes teachers specifically.#teachers have a singular job and no comparison really holds up to what teaching in a us public school is actually like
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GOD okay so zero amount of surprise about this but the way Aaron Ehasz talks about Ned Stark is just like...
Yeah, it's legitimately a sacrifice on Ned's part to let everyone think Jon is his son, in that it puts a stain on his reputation, since it's also really driven home how important honesty and loyalty are to him (like he's functionally incapable of playing the Game of Thrones because of it) but...
HE 👏 ALSO 👏 SACRIFICED 👏 CATELYN'S 👏 REPUTATION
Not to mention her sense of security in her own marriage, particularly given how precarious her position as a woman in the setting society is, AND her sense of security in her children's future, and he did all of that with exactly ZERO of her input or consent. Oh, boo hoo—Ned had to go his whole life with everyone, including his wife, thinking he betrayed her when really he was always faithful! Catelyn is such a bitch for being cold to Jon and acting like letting him live with them is some huge sacrifice! ... okay, but you literally cannot have any of that without the fact that Catelyn is going her whole life believing her husband betrayed her, while she also has no option to leave him that wouldn't put her somewhere way shittier (because this is fucking ASOIAF) and unlike Ned, she doesn't even fucking know that it's all an altruistic lie.
And sure, Ned is the tragic Good Man(tm) in a setting where There Are No Good Men(tm)—I'm not surprised it comes at his wife's expense, because this is fucking ASOIAF, and I assume there's even less consideration given to her position in the show (which I didn't watch, as there were already many reasons I'd stopped reading the books, but I would be truly shocked if they acknowledged it there).
I guess I'm like ???????? because we literally just had a major story beat where the entire point was that doing harm to your wife, even if it's "only" emotional harm, even for the sake of your own child's life, is pretty fucking bad? It's explicitly described as monstrous, in a story where "what is a monster?" is a central theme. Like... sir, do you not watch your own show? Or did Devon Ghiel write that entire arc?
(This is in like 5% of the interview though, and the larger point he's trying to make is actually very interesting... it's just a really weird example. But the rest is really good! Go listen to it!)
#look i only got three books in before i was like 'wow i literally hate reading about every single one of these people except sansa and dany'#and GRRM obviously hates sansa so why fucking bother#if you aren't REALLY engaged with either jon or arya or tyrion or jaime those books do NOT have a lot to offer#anyway me like: oh so the conflicted man with good intentions casually sacrifices his wife's happiness#and then it's all about HIS ongoing angst? I FUCKING DARE YOU TO TELL ME MORE#anyway obviously this is about#lissa
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oversharing in the tags time :)
#i think it’s time i go back to therapy#i keep having recurring nightmares about my ex best friend#or dreams where she reaches out to me. and explains why she cut me out#backstory. in high school had a lesbian toxic situationship with my#bestie. THEN i had another one. which kinda overlapped? the first one was open but also just messy#anyways. jade and i were like together for a year. then she got a boyfriend one day and i had a breakdown#it happened just after high school and i was sooooo … unwell. wasn’t out to my family felt like i was gonna die etc etc#(this is all pre dnp btw) anyways next year i found dnp. a couple months later she broke up with her bf#and we sorted dated for a while (this whole time we’d been just friends and i was still not really over it but hiding it)#and then she dated ANOTHER guy. they broke up and she had a breakdown and moved 9 hours away. i went#to visit her for a month. we like kinda dated again then and i thought we could make it work. then 2020. no travel#so she started dating a guy. didn’t tell me. even though we spoke every day. she moved in with him#then she breaks up with him mid 2021. i started dating my gf. but Jade was clingy and it was awkward#she started dating a sketchy guy who was homophobic. i went and visited her a few times#start of 2023 she tells me she wants to make more of an effort cause he didn’t like her friends so she cut everyone out. then she ghosted#in feb 2023. we had tickets for#mcr in march. i had to text her cause she’d blocked me on messenger and said im going to the concert whether she’s there or not#she said ‘yeah no worries! you can take someone else in my place too 😎’ she used that fucking emoji#and I haven’t spoken to her since. I think she quit her job . and that guy was not a nice man#so I still worry about her#writing this all down makes me realise she was a bitch and I deserve better#but I just want closure. it isn’t fair she replied so casually to my text when I said ‘you’ve blocked me’#it isn’t fair she HAS MY SIGNED COPY OF DANS BOOK#anyways. I need therapy to get over this#and I haven’t even written about my family issues (im#out and they’re supportive but my god they fucked me#up as a kid)#if you read this hi 👋 hope you are having a lovely day#don’t get in lesbian situationships!!!
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Man I wonder where the leader of the fear realm could've gone, it's alMOST LIKE NEVIN HAS AN
#had to re-edit the image real quick because the original edit was from a post I made about Drew years ago#and while the Drew thing is becoming less and less likely. Nevin havinv one has basically been canon since#someone mentioned Greg's (was it Britney's) aura being familiar in s2ch1. ive been putting together a list of every line#that points to Nevin's aura throughout the whole thing (most from s2ch1 but then s2ch10 came out and it was really canon at that point)#but clearly i'm running out of time to say ''i fucking called it'' before it's explicitly stated and i dont want to be in another situation#where somebody else will beat me to a theory and me posting anything about it will seem like copying them. sorry about that btw i had#thought i had already mentioned theorizing that nevin was possessed by a demon in that old theory i made but i had forgotten that one was#super old and was about sigma. so no copying there i just got extremely paranoid there was a mention of a cult and i was like ''nuh uh#that's way too specific and out there of a detail to end up in both our theories'' and i forgot the rest of my super old post was outdated#as hell. and echos had gone ''yeah they're so similar!'' and i took their word for it but now i'm realizing they were probably just trying#to be supportive. so yeah no copying there i was just beaten to the punch of saying something. but i will NOT back down from the aura shit#because i have been calling that shit FROM THE START or at least since i started reading ibvs back when ch20 came out.#also not backing down from saying chris was the worse friend because these past few chapters are the first time isaac has done anything tha#could knowingly upset chris meanwhile chris has. let edward drag isaac to the lair after isaac said edward would beat him up. chose not to#believe edward was holding the secrets over their heads because 'it was something isaac had said' and then immediately distrusted edward in#the next chapter because a random person he didn't know said to steal a book (might i mention how that entire scene proves chris' lack of#development and refusal to take responsibility because it perfectly alludes to when chris had brought those fireworks into his old school#and makes me wonder if charlie has actually gotten him in trouble with his past schools or if he's still just not taking responsibility#and if him following nevin to the woods to test out their powers is an extension of ''if something bad happens its not my fault''#like seriously this man would bring a mysterious suitcase onto a plane if he's told to). uh what was i talking about agai#anyway on a related note my mental state has only gotten worse since i left tumblr and the habit of thinking about chris instead of sleepin#or doing schoolwork has not stopped. so i was still failing for a while and might graduate now but am still staying away from tumblr.#so yeah this was a little update and im not going to linger this time im just going to leave tumblr again right after hitting post#addendum because i just can't let things go. and was thinking about chris again. i don't think his lack of development is because of bad#writing (anymore. i used to.). instead i'm certain his character arc is going to continue into him following someone (nevin probably) into#doing something really bad. and then he'll finally get actual consequences and go 'oh shit i fucked up real bad this time'#if you think that theory is reaching too far into the future you should hear mine about isaac dying at the end lmao
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Roku: *has multiple opportunities to confess to Ta Min but never FUCKING TAKES IT*
Me: If I was Kyoshi I would've ripped through the walls of the Spirit World and just fucking suplexed you until you stopped breathing.
#she's too good for you man#run ta min RUN#run away from the twink! run as fast as you can! TT0TT#ta min just left I'm not that far in the book#she deserve so much better wtf wtf TT0TT#silly talks#AT LEAST YANGCHEN AND KAVIK ARE *BOTH* IN DENIAL! OHHH MY GOD#kyoshi's in the homophobic earth kingdom and is just FUCKING SHOCKED that Rangi likes her back jfklsja;dfsa#so far bro has got a FUCKING TEEBALL of a life compared to Yangchen/Kuruk/Kyoshi (tbf Kuruk was later in life but still)#Gyatso already calling Ta Min his girlfriend and he just DENIES IT?????/#my god this man I want to throw him in a volcano#i bet Szeto is better at least his is probably a political issue TT0TT#grow a fucking spine Roku#“but silly if you read father in he-” i'm not there yet lemme vent for now jkdlsajfdsa#I can still be annoyed at the build up TT0TT#silly reads ror#this book is harder to get through than Dawn of Yangchen....and I liked DoY my slowness was mostly out of the genre shift#but I AT LEAST had multiple uninterrupted sessions....I get 5 min into a session with Roku and I'm like “nope I'm out” TT0TT#i'm really only clocking in when I hear Kyoshi's name. Gyatso/Roku's past. And SOMETIMES with malaya (esp if it feels like a kyoshi paralle
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"Because we all know that a woman is not a woman until pregnancy/childbirth/motherhood/rape/infertility/other uterus related topics, is an integral part of her story" lol preach
If I had a penny for every time I encountered this in a story, I would have enough money to be able to quit my job and fully focus on the second part of the Asmundr/Home review lmao
Little tangent under the cut
I am honestly so tired of this still being an issue in the year of our Lord, 2025. It's even worse then the writer/artist are attempting to portray something "progressive" through their writing, but still somehow end up doing this.
Like, Andy Weird for an example. I loved The Martian and Project Hail Mary is honestly one of my the most favourite books I have ever read (read Project Hail Mary PLEASE I'm begging you I AM BEGGING ON MY KNEES-) but his second released book, Artemis? Atrocious. I have no idea what possessed him after he wrote the deliciousness that is The Martian to then spit out the kind of lukewarm mess Artemis was. I couldn't get past 60 pages, and I only got that far because I loved his two other books and wanted to push through. But I couldn't.
It absolutely is because of the main character, who is a woman (unlike the main characters in The Martian and PHM) and just kinda written as if an alien once did a Google search on what a woman was, spent 20 minutes reading about them on Reddit, then wrote a book about one. Nearly on every page, the reader gets reminded that the main character has boobs and has sex, because it's the most progressive thing ever to say women fuck!!! The MC has "not like other girls" vibe that obnoxiously overtakes over everything else happening in the book itself.
One of the worst books I have ever read, The Spectres, has many issues, but the biggest one gotta be how Every. Single. Female. Character. in it's story is defined by what male character they're currently attracted to. Every. Single. One. No matter who's POV it is, if it's a woman, her internal monologue and their actions will always circle back to the man she's into, completely defining her by her attraction to them instead of, you know, defining her by her personality like a regular person should be. And yes, this book was written by a man, if you were wondering.
It's even funnier when other people call this shit out, but then write it into their stories themselves, either being completely oblivious to it or bending back over backwards to excuse why it's okay if they do it. I once knew a person who heavilly criticised the badly handled sexual assault/rape in Home but then they had their own character raped/taken advantage of MULTIPLE TIMES for the sake of cheaply written drama and also have them have like seventeen miscarriages, too, because we all know the story of a person with a uterus isn't compelling until something like that happens to them. They also had a character they used as a clown and a comic relief in their writing that they were weirdly attracted to, while they were also a rapist (who assaulted several characters. Yes, it includes the previously mentioned one as well) All of this while they called out Home and Kique for misusing these topics for cheap drama/trauma/shock value.
I'm just. I'm so tired of this. I'm tired of seeing women and female presenting characters in media that's not even of this niche be written this way. Have rape, assault, pregnancy/birth related trauma thrown in left and right as if those are the traits that define women. I am tired of having to research the media I wanna engage with, whether it's a movie, a game or a book, to figure out if something like this will be a part of it's story. I don't mind at all reading about this, mind you. What I do mind, however, is when it's cheaply used as a sterotypical "female" trauma authors throw into stories so they can then label them as dark or provoking or some other shit. A woman is more than her uterus, a woman is more than a vessle for some cheap drama, and I am getting really tired of seeing this writing so often.
#I also emphasise that the major reason for why I got so far along with Artemis was because I was sitting on a plane going to a wedding-#-of my best friend in Poland and literally had nothing else on me to occupy myself with#And even then I put it down like half an hour before landing and stared out the window instead because I just couldn't do it fbhvifbg#I was only able to “read” through The Spectres because I bought it as an audiobook#It was insufferable and I'll fight God to get that £8 I spent on it back. It was terrible#Not only because the obviously Very White narrator was attempting to imitate the jamaican accent of one of the main characters and I had-#-to rewind so many times because I kept spacing out from the cringe. Which ironically prolonged the suffering#Anyway The Spectres is bad and terrible and horrible and I hate it I honestly wouldn't wish this book upon my worst enemy#I will never get over how one of the characters in that book looks at her man of choice and goes-#“Wow his teeth are so straight and white I wanna bang him”#And I really fucking wish I was making this up but I am not#I also feel like it's crucial to mention this character kidnapped her and it's also been like three days since it happened as well#Horrible. Terrible. (spits)#Shut up Val#Kique mention#Dragon Slayer mention
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just realised that the first media we consumed that made us REALLY sympathetic for the monster was that fucking point and click Mystery Case Files Ravenhearst game. bc that entire game i was legitimately fucking TERRIFIED of the ghost lady in that game but the second i found out her husband was abusive i doubled down on trying to help her escape. and the ending of that game Did make me cry out of fear but hey at least i did in fact help her escape
#i think that was the first game we ever like. completed. as well#NO it was hidden expedition amazon bc that one was less scary so it was easier to beat LMAO#we had both of those games on a single disc as a kid#one o those like. buy 2 for cheap game discs at like. best buy. i love those cheap bargain bin point and click games#hidden object games were my entire thing from the age of like. 8 to 12#we also had like. three ispy game discs one of which had FOUR separate worlds to go to#which upon my recent googling was like. multiple ispy games packaged into one which i cannot find any record of??#i know for a fact it had a space section the fantasy one and the school days one#and then we had treasure hunt and spooky mansion as separate discs#I FUCKING MISS SPOOKY MANSION i have a download of it but i CAN'T PLAY IT bc it was made for computers older than windows 7#it fucks up the aspect ratio of the screen and the mouse like. shows the cursor being about an inch to the left of where it Actually Is#its weird#anyway complete non sequitur here but I GOT THE STUPID ASS MULTIPLAYER ITEMS IN TERRARIA#i forgot i could just. make a multiplayer world. and not invite anyone to it. and get the items that way#so this can still be a purely singleplayer challenge i just have to click on a different menu to get these items#NOW I JUST HAVE TO FUCKING PAINTING HUNT. HOORAY 😳#they need to make a version of that emoji without the blush. i am not flushed i am fucking STARING AT U LIKE A MADMAN#the fucking. uluru painting. i chewed through 7 ENTIRE LARGE DESERTS FOR THAT FUCKING THING#7 LARGE WORLDS. DCU. DESTROYED ALL TRACE OF SAND. ONLY GOT ULURU IN AN OLD ABANDONED WORLD INSTEAD 😔#and now. now i have to search for fucking WALDO?????? WALDO????? this actually looped back around to the initial topic of the post huh#any hidden object BOOKS i would fucking eat up as well the Can You See What I See books??? i liked those better than ispy actually#walter wick is the one man responsible for my LIFELONGGGGGGG obsession with hidden object games#i LEARNED TO READ with ispy books initially and i fucking LOVED it it was so fun making learning a game#i learned to read like. wayyyyy faster than other kids apparently?#i dont remember what age but i was definitely early bc i knew enough that when i entered preschool i was like. past their starting level#i dont remember the details i just know like. i learned to read really early. and i was a late talker#but neither of my parents think i was. bc both of them were delayed in speaking too so they think its normal--#but like. my mom was Deaf she absolutely was a late talker#and my dad. well. lets just say my mother has less of the tism tendencies to gift to me#and also both were part of very very large chaotic families so like. mild neglect was part of the package yknow
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you know what? to be completely fair to dr victor hoppe, if that had happened to me, I, too would develop a complicated (read: fucked up) relationship with like. Everything
#(he’s the main character of the book I’m currently reading lol)#(de engelenmaker/the angel maker by stefan brijs)#elli rambles#can’t speak for the english translation but the original dutch book is really good so far#even though I found the first part of the book pretty boring the second part is incredibly interesting#like man! I Get why he turned out Like That! what the fuck!#the book is such an interesting exploration of christianity/religious trauma & hubris & parent-child relationships & nature vs nurture#that said I do wonder: mr stefan brijs were you perhaps raised catholic? obviously he could have been raised areligiously & just done#loads of research etc but catholicism is Such an important thing in the book that I think it’s the most likely explanation#I would probably get even more out of the book if I like. knew the bible but I am Not reading that thang for this#though it might be worthwhile to go through the dates mentioned in the book & look up if they’ve got importance in christianity (like#holidays & such). wouldn’t put it past the author#anyway. advertisement voice: god complexes! medical inaccuracies & malpractice! explorations of characters that make you go ‘why the fuck#are they Like That’! if you like these things you may be interested in ‘the angel maker’ by stefan brijs#de engelenmaker
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Theyre going to think I like canon and purely canon if I keep going on like this
#i. despite my many complaints. do enjoy comics. and going into the Comic Reading Fandom#there is a shocking amount of people who are purely in the fandom but have never interacted with the source#while i do believe its fine to dabble in something you haven't seen the source for yet but plan to#being a creating active presence in fandom for something youre not a fan of. just doesn't sit with me#its just a bit baffling. to be a fan of the fandom amd never touch the canon#like lifelong christians who attend every service and judge others based on gods word. who have never even read the full bible.#its just all the pastors word and stories n verses they grew up with#thats exactly how i see it I fear#fanon dynamics and tropes heavily overwhelm the canon. and i tend to prefer the canon. so it gets frustrating#not to mention how many popular ones completely flip characters. reinforce stereotypes. have even more confusing timelines. etc#its like the online fan equivalent of years of domestication and breeding that turned wolves to pugs#not that extreme but you get me#i mess with canon. i like to get silly with it. i like to fuck around#plenty of things i dont like i Will ignore or rewrite! or make an au where i can do whatever on earth i want#i dont respect canon or think its the end all be all and if you step one foot out of line of canon ill maul you like an angry dog#its just like! maybe read the one singular comic issue youre about base your entire interpretation on the fanon version of#this is ending in just me complaining about titans tower yeah. sorry. its the prime example i fear#but at least its easy to filter out#man! if i just had a way to filter things out better..#sometimes it reaches the point where i consider just blocking the entire tim tag. sorry tim#i Will uplift the community i desire instead of focusing on my hatred and complaining!!#i just need to get out of art block and find cool blogs to follow that Get Me to help me out first!!#unfortunately i have a really weird complex about following people especially if they followed me first!!!#not sure what thats about!!#but ill get to the other things!!!#i am also just a complainer though !#and i get into arguments alot without realizing it because i love noting every detail and correcting people!!#i tried to put every william mention and appearance from tse in a google doc. and with ralpho. thsoe got much easier when i got#digital copies of the fnaf books. but what im saying is i LOVE having all the facts n details abt my blorbos. esp in over detailed notes.fu#havijg all the references on hand! and sharing my precious beautiful knowledge. carefully noted bc my poor memory. very delightful. fun!
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my dad just hit me with the “i’m the parent and you’re the kid”
in the context that i should be the mature one
i’m so fucking tired
#vent post#tw vent#vent in tags#all i did was park a fucking car#sorry YOU never told me you hated driving in the yard around me#sorry YOU parked in the spot i usually park#that was SO obvious what you wanted me to do#this is so fucking dumb#after i got home from yoga??? really?? you’re going to make me cry AFTER that???#the most idiotic fucking argument i could possibly conceive. there is no way i could have known why you were upset.#can’t communicate with your own child like an adult and expect them to read your fucking mind. what the fuck is wrong with you.#i’m booking classes for the rest of the fucking week#i don’t care what the class is or how hard it is. i am not sitting at a dinner table with that man
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question for the culture — why don’t we ever really discuss the massive amounts of sexual assault, domestic abuse and misogyny entrenched within professional wrestling?
#was in my bret hart era but i read julie hart’s book (which NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT) and i am sick to my stomach fam#also hearing about stone cold#macho man#and the list goes on and on and on and on#i know this has probably already been discussed and i guess i hate to ruin people’s fun but its haunting really#i dont know how much fun i can expend to this knowing the insidious things a large sum of wrestlers have done to their partners and others#i guess you have to center cognitive dissonance but i don’t think you should have to#idk its kinda tearing me up bc of the childhood nostalgia aspect but that doesn’t really matter#the bret hart shit really got me fucked up tho bc wow i naively thought he was one of the good ones at least#i have got to start enjoying things like normal people — brain shut off!!#professional wrestling#jan chats
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read the sunshine court and have never been more impatient in needing a second book my god
#tsc#tsc spoilers#tagging bc im talking in the tags but holy fuck im ngl i came into the book as a jerejean shipper but now im shipping him with EVERYONE#him and renee were so sweet god i cant#him taking her photo and thinking about rainbows 😭#but also excited for my man Jeremy bc he's got layersTM like an onion#need to know why he doesn't like his family and if he ever confides in Jean to convince Jean to confide in him#but also them oggling each other was hilarious#jean said his name once and had jeremy kicking his feet and twirling his hear#jean's braim shutting off whenever jeremy is shirtless avdhdj#need them to get together but i love Jean and his story and im so glad i reread aftg before reading this book#obsessed with jerejean as individuals and i love how much Jean appreciates the othrler Trojans#GAAAAH#also heart was in my ass when Grayson attacked Jean and thank god my boy neil sent out a hit on that fucker#also people realizing neil looks insane to other people like um yes...literally everytime he opens his mouth even in his POV#he says some scary shit bro 💀#adding more tags bc i forgot to talk about kevin but i also can't get over their angst its just so good#their time together at evermore and jean teaching him french only for it to be the used against him by accident#they're too fucked up to ever really be friends again but they've both got their own support systems now#thinking about them meeting to do the interview ... chewing on glass#i have to go ravage ao3 now
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he was only nineteen???? he should've been at the clubbbb
#guess what musical ive been relistening to .#but the musical is very hard to get plot beats out of cuz theres so many story gaps between the songs. hence why im here#even though this is the book's wiki page. and im pretty sure the musical and the book differ a lot. but still.#brot posts#music#back in middle school when i was in my musical phase (phantom/monte cristo/jekyll and hyde/etc)#and also just old literature in general phase (divine comedy/paradise lost/etc)#i really wanted to try to read the source material#but like. i was in 7th grade. i had no fucking idea what the hell was going on#i tried so hard to read paradise lost LMAOOOOO#like girlie pops you are 11 you havent even read shakespeare in class yet#so after i gave up on paradise lost i gave up on reading everything else as well.#although i do think i tried to do phantom at one point in middle school but also barely got through it#and then i tried it again in high school and only barely got a little furhter#though the high school time was just cuz i didnt have the patience#so yknow sitting here its very easy to say i would love to read the count of monte cristo instead of listen to the musical#but will i actually read it? probably not#god looking at the wikisoruce for it. its long as fuckkkkkkk man im not reading this LOL#ive read jekyll and hyde but thats because it was pretty short so the patience aspect wasnt a problem#so j&h is the only musical-based-on-1800s-literature that ive actually read the source material for. <3
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