#after i didnt show up to a society for ages

[immortalsins]

time to accept that I'm upset about the fact "its OK if you just want to be friends" is empty words. that's not going to happen!! & i can never go back to the society we met in because it'll just be awkward! without us EVER dating (unless we were and I wasn't aware of it). so sick of not understanding this stuff i wish it was simple and clear

[holmsister]

Kinda gets me when people age them down in AUs and stuff because to me those characters wouldn't be half as interesting if Chilchuck, Senshi and Mithrun were the tallman equivalent of in their twenties

[coridallasmultipass]

Just wanna remind everyone that it's NEVER okay to tell someone to die.

You don't know how hard they're fighting to stay alive every day. Or if they don't even want to fight for that any more.

[hannieehaee]

HELLFIRE

18+ / mdi

summary: whenever he was at a crossroads, seokmin always knew he could turn to god. however, with the recent thoughts you've been putting in his head, he's not sure god will show him the answer this time around.

content: virgin!seokmin, catholic!seokmin, religious repression, old fashioned and exaggerated catholic beliefs, very brief mention of homophobia, very conservative beliefs, a lowkey cult-ish view of catolicism oops, seokmin is veryyy socially awkward and not used to socialization outside of religion, his parents are super overbearing, lots of family tensions, seokmin has an estranged brother (jeonghan), conflicting emotions about god, sexual repression, reader is an atheist, afab reader, smut, dry humping, oral (m and f receiving), handjob, penetrative sex, loss of virginity, etc.

wc: 13k

a/n: she's here!! i didnt write an outline for this and i kinda only focused on seokmin's pov for this which makes reader kinda look like she's trying to corrupt him for no reason lol but i promise its still fluffy and cute <3

masterlist | kofi/patreon

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Normalcy for Seokmin had always equated to the church. It was what he'd known since childhood and what he grew up surrounded by up until his current age.

His upbringing had been good by all accounts. Although he had an estranged brother who he didn't get to see too often, he had a father and a mother who cherished him like no one else. His financial means were also to be envied, as he was raised in a wealthy part of town and had always been surrounded by an upper class community – a heavily religious community.

This community was one that Seokmin always respected and cherished. Being brought up going from one private catholic school onto the next as he aged, Seokmin never knew anything other than the constant supervision of nuns and religious figures who would constantly guide him in the right direction (at least according to the bible). While others may think this lifestyle to be restricting, Seokmin knew it to be the proper path for a young man to follow. He never complained about the bi-weekly mass he had to attend with his parents, nor about the separation by gender that was mandated by his school. Seokmin knew all his prayers by heart and was sure of what his role in society must be. In short, Seokmin knew and did all things proper and by the letter.

As a young man (at the ripe age of 20), Seokmin finally found himself in a society that was not of catholic background. After transferring from a two year college in town (one centered around catholic studies, of course), Seokmin was now readying himself to move away from home in order to finalize his education in a fully co-ed institution for the following two years.

It wasn't like Seokmin had never interacted with people outside of the church (or with women in general). He was simply a bit on the shier side when it came to non-religious endeavors and usually only stuck by his religious community, which often abided by old-fashioned rules found in the bible. For instance, Seokmin had been so dedicated to the church that he would usually spend his free time volunteering at the church's food drive or performing with his church group at various family-friendly events around town. This meant that Seokmin's inner circle always consisted of people who had an almost identical ideology as that of his own.

Seokmin felt bad at admitting this (which was why he never vocalized these thoughts), but he could sometimes get a bit tired of the consistency of his life. It was a constant repetition of events surrounded by the same exact people time and time again. He never had any opportunity to be challenged or observe outside opinions, specially not with the constant supervision his community gave youth like him (something about wanting him to follow the right path unlike his older brother). Seokmin knew and trusted his beliefs, so he felt a bit infantilized whenever his own family would become overbearing while ensuring Seokmin didn't go off the rails like his brother had – his brother, who was still a quite a sore subject for him.

And now, Seokmin felt excitement. Knowing he would finally be able to explore the outside world and experience the last couple of years of his college life not under the watchful eye of his church. However, as a strong believer himself, Seokmin had still ensured he would have time to attend mass every week and maybe join a religious club on campus. Although he sometimes felt scrutinized by his family and community, Seokmin had never once faked his belief in God. I mean, it was all he had known thus far and all he felt he could really count on no matter what.

When the day to move into his dorms finally arrived, Seokmin had a difficult time hiding his excitement. His community had thrown him a goodbye party, allowing him to be the main focus of the night as one by one, every adult figure in his life bid their farewells accompanied by thinly veiled warnings to not fall into the bad habits sometimes found in non-religious communities. Seokmin was pure-minded at heart, so he took these warnings with a warm and heartfelt gratitude, knowing that despite his desire to expand his horizons, it was important he kept his beliefs safe.

Thanks to his parents, Seokmin had the fortune of being able to rent a room away from the dorms. His parents had insisted, claiming that dorm life could get quite rowdy and that a roommate who had not been pre-approved by them may give him a bad influence and lead him towards an unholy path. Seokmin, already slightly nervous about heading into the world on his own, agreed in order to give himself a safe space of solitude in case he needed it.

The apartment was pretty close to the dorms themselves, allowing Seokmin a calm commute in his bike every day for his classes. Thus far, he had been in the city for a week, still having a few days before school actually began. He had attended his church club already, meeting all the other members and scouting out who he may be able to befriend in the near future. Everyone seemed pretty much like the preppy rich kids he had grown up with all throughout his years of catholic school. There was a bit more of variety among the people in the club than back home, with the club allowing for co-ed inclusion of members (something which was quite common in church groups, though Seokmin had grown too accustomed by his non co-ed upbringing). They also seemed to come from different backgrounds, but ultimately Seokmin could tell that just like him, they were very likely brought up in a very coddled and comfortable way. This was how your presence in the club first stood out to him.

While everyone seemed very put together and happy to be there, you caught Seokmin's attention right away. Your visible discomfort was the first thing Seokmin noticed. Though you looked as nice and welcoming as anyone else, Seokmin could see that you seemed like a closed book. Your eyes did not light up the same as the rest of the members, nor did you actively participate in the icebreaker activities set up by the club. Seokmin also caught onto the fact that the other members already knew each other (likely from previous years at the college), while they treated you like a black sheep. And of course, Seokmin couldn't help but notice your appearance, which made it difficult for him to look away from you.

Of course, Seokmin had had female friends in the past. It's not like his church separated the pews by gender or anything like that. Seokmin was just slightly reserved. With his constant attendance at institutions that insisted upon gender separation at all times and very overbearing parents, Seokmin never really had the chance to form any type of relationship with any girl throughout his youth. He had teamed up with other female volunteers while working at charities and had even been in charge of showing new girls in the community around the church's premises. However, these were very isolated instances.

As of the past twenty years, Seokmin was yet to ever really think about women liberally. He was always taught that time for those things would come eventually, whatever that meant. It was something that had been repeated to him by both his parents, neighbors, the reverend, and even at some point by his brother (though his brother had said it in a sarcastic tone, which confused Seokmin even further).

And now here he was, sitting quietly across the room from you as he watched you in silence, barely paying attention to whichever new activity the group leaders were discussing for the first charity event they'd hold during the upcoming semester.

You were pretty. Seokmin could tell that much. His mind did not process anything other than your features for almost the entirety of the meeting, being far too occupied by analyzing every inch of your person as he unknowingly held his breath.

His eyes on you did not seem to catch your attention at any point, but they did catch the attention of a fellow member of the group who was sitting near him.

"You know her?", asked the nameless member.

"Oh, uh, what? No, I was just– "

"She's not really a member here, you know. Just kind of an honorary one, I guess."

"What do you mean?", he finally took his eyes off you due to his sudden interest in the conversation.

"Her parents pay for her tuition as long as she can prove she's an active member of the local catholic community. Apparently she just pretends for them, but her parents still somehow bought her way into the club", the guy lowered his voice to a whisper, "I heard she's an atheist, man. We just have to kinda ignore she's there."

Though Seokmin knew that his parents' immediate reaction to such gossip would be shock at the blatant disrespect you were showing towards your parents who clearly just wanted you to not stray away from the path of God, Seokmin was more annoyed at the guy who found it so easy to talk about you behind your back completely unprompted.

While Seokmin couldn't understand why someone would claim themselves atheist when it was so clear to him how life had been created, he still saw it wrong to judge someone for their beliefs. It was oftentimes that churchgoers back home would exhibit malicious intentions such as what he'd just witnessed from his fellow group member. You were clearly not bothering anyone and even looked pretty aware of the alienation the members were putting you through, so Seokmin couldn't help but feel sad for you.

He shyly shrugged off the guy who had made him privy to your information and went back to staring at you as you sat back and seemingly waited for the bi-weekly meeting to end.

Despite catching his curiosity that day, Seokmin did not end up having any contact with you, being way too shy to even hold eye contact with you as the meeting ended.

Days passed and Seokmin finally started school. He had to admit, he felt completely out of his league. Thanks to his parents, he was never properly socialized as a child. While most members of the church would have active social lives outside of their ministry (even going to public schools and participating in non-catholic leisure activities), Seokmin had always been confined into a box that only allowed him to interact with other heavily religious people. This was never a problem to Seokmin, who was happy to dedicate his life to the lord. Except now it was proving troublesome.

Since professors had a tendency to get liberal during discussions at times, he felt scandalized by many of the subjects spoken about during class. He also felt awkward interacting with other people his age, who would share very different beliefs from his own. Seokmin had even attempted to dabble into social media at some point now that he was not under his parent's' watchful eye, but even that had him feeling unseemly.

Overall, Seokmin felt embarrassed at how little life experience he had due to having dedicated his entire life thus far to serving both God and his parents. He was beginning to understand why his brother Jeonghan had left home as soon as he turned of age. He had always judged him for it, but his judgment was beginning to fade away.

Now that he no longer had his parents nor community around (much less his brother), the only comfort he could turn to was that of his nightly prayers.

His struggles continued for the following weeks, with Seokmin becoming a bit of an outcast in most social situations. He was quite outgoing in the church, but this was a completely different environment in which he felt ridiculous every time he tried to interact with people who had had far more social advantages and freedom than he did growing up.

Keeping a low profile had been easy to achieve for Seokmin. He decided after a few very awkward interactions that he would simply become an outcast and stick to himself, only ever interacting with his church club the few times a week they'd meet (though unfortunately never having the courage to interact with you). This seemed to work up until the second week of school, in which Seokmin's women's studies teacher informed the class they'd be doing a partner project for the entirety of the semester.

Seokmin had taken the class against his parents' wishes, feeding them with a white lie that it was part of the necessary curriculum in order to graduate. He argued to himself that this was a subject he would never be exposed to in his community, knowing his community to be slightly ... old-fashioned. This part of his life always made him embarrassed, – not really sharing many of the beliefs his community had tried to drill into him – so he wanted to atone for his lack of knowledge now that he was in a completely independent environment.

Teaming up with someone back home was always easy, as he was quite popular both in church and at school. Here, however, he had already given himself the reputation of awkward and overly dedicated to God – he had stated his devotion to God during the individual introductions they'd done on week 1, leading to low chuckles and uncomfortable looks from his classmates – which was something that the general population did not seem to like. He was avoided by his fellow women's studies classmates since then.

Sure, Seokmin did share a few old-fashioned catholic beliefs such as the necessity devotion to God and the importance of one's purity being kept until marriage, but he did not agree with any other bigoted beliefs shared by many catholic communities. He had genuinely taken this class with the hope to learn and expand his horizons, but most people in it had already decided that he must be a close-minded weirdo.

By some struck of luck, as Seokmin sat back, completely defeated while he watched other people stand up and enthusiastically find a partner, he suddenly heard someone clear their throat to call his attention.

It was you.

He hadn't realized you were taking this class too due to the high mass of students (about 100, give or take). And now he found himself looking up at you from his seat as you gave him what seemed to him like a confident grin.

"Hi, Seokmin," you sat next to him without so much as asking.

Your sitting position was troublesome for Seokmin, as he noticed the way in which your short skirt rid up as you crossed your legs and leaned towards him. You were wearing more revealing clothing today than any other time in which he'd seen you at the bi-weekly meetings. Your attire wasn't provocative by any means, it was just that you were always more covered up at the meetings. Seokmin assumed it might've been due to some scrutiny you may have faced by the members. This made him frown internally.

"Oh ... hi. Y-you know my name?", he sat up from his slouched position and faced his body towards yours, though he was too shy to meet your eyes for too long.

"Of course I do, Seokmin. We're in a church group together, remember?"

You carried a very confident and laid back air to you despite having only spoken to him for the first time just now. You also seemed much livelier than back at the confined room where his fellow church group members gathered. This was likely due to the lack of scrutiny you usually received completely unwarranted while at his church group's meetings.

"Ah, yeah, just, uh, didn't realize you noticed me."

"C'mon, Seokmin. You're the only person in there who doesn't look at me like I killed their dog. Of course I'd notice you."

He wasn't sure how to respond, but that at least answered the question as to whether or not you were aware of the gossip a few of the other members had let him in on.

"I'm sure that's not true ... I– "

"It's fine, really. Anyways, I just wanted to ask you if you'd like to partner up?", you suggested, completely unfazed by the mention of your judgmental group mates.

"O-oh. You want to? I mean, yeah! Of course," he couldn't help but feel relieved at the prospect of not having to meet with the professor after class to let her know he'd need her assistance finding a partner.

"Great. Here, put your number in my phone and I'll let you know when I can stop by your place so we can brainstorm," you handed him your phone as if nothing; as if you weren't suggesting going over alone to his apartment unsupervised.

He hesitated but gave you his number, flinching a bit when your hands accidentally touched.

"Thanks. I was thinking this Friday. Is that okay with you?"

"Oh, y-yeah. Sure," he mustered a toothy smile for you.

You giggled under your breath, "Okay, Seokmin. Looking forward to seeing you," there was a permanent smile in your eyes as you spoke to him, making him a bit giddy.

He bid his goodbyes back and finally let out a puff of air when you parted ways.

The rest of the class period was completely wasted to Seokmin. His mind was too giddy and preoccupied with thoughts of seeing you again, this time in a more intimate setting. The thought made him anxious, though he also felt some weird tingling he wasn't fully sure how to describe.

Did this mean you had noticed him too? Had he stood out to you in this huge hall? The thought made him shudder before regaining control of himself and starting to anxiously doodle on his notebook.

He snuck a glance over at the direction in which you left, now localizing your seat. You were talking to a few friends, which confused Seokmin greatly. This meant that you already had friends in this class, so why would you go out of your way to team up with him? Was his curiosity about you maybe mutual? This question would surely be all Seokmin thought about for the next two days until the two of you finally met up to discuss your project.

Seokmin saw you again the following day at second bi-weekly meeting of the week.

Once more, you sat back and said nothing, only bothering to sign your name on the attendance board at the start of the meeting and taking your usual seat away from everyone else.

Your attire was different from what you had been wearing in your women's studies class just a few hours ago. You had donned a long skirt and a long sleeve too instead of the tiny shorts he had seen you wearing previously. This change in attire made no difference to Seokmin, however, since he already knew what your bare legs looked like and could not prevent himself in picturing them as he stared.

Your presence had yet again proved to be incredibly distracting to Seokmin, who had already been thinking about you ever since you had suggested to meet at his place.

There was no one he could ask for advice about what to wear or what to do. His friends back home would frown at the thought of Seokmin even considering an unchaperoned gathering with a girl – especially an self-declared atheist who was simply pretending to be catholic for her parents.

His parents were also not a good option. Seokmin could just picture the gasp in surprise at the revelation that his women's studies class (one which his parents had called 'useless' and 'made up') had enticed him into bringing a girl home while no one else was around. He cringed at the mere thought of them attempting to intercept the situation by barging in and lecturing both you and him on proper relations between man and woman.

Seokmin knew he was overthinking all of this, but he had an internal conflict. On one side, he knew that this was just a regular meeting between classmates to discuss a project, but this was his first time alone with a girl (one he had a bit of a crush on, at that!) On the other side, Seokmin couldn't help but feel like he was breaking his parents' trust. They had explicitly forbid him from ever engaging in any type of relationship with any girl unless she was pre-approved by them (something which they'd already tried and failed at doing with Jeonghan). And on a secret third side of things, Seokmin felt like now that he was alone and untrained on what life was like in the real world, it'd be easy for him to fall susceptible to desire and betray God's word. He hadn't had any unbecoming feelings thus far, but his crush on you was enough for this fear to be instilled in him.

For now, Seokmin had the rest of his school day to worry about, so he pushed these thoughts aside and tried to draw his eyes away from your figure as he attempted to pay attention to whichever biblical lesson the group's assigned leader read from.

This was yet another biblical lesson Seokmin had heard time and time again. Despite his strong devotion to God, Seokmin always felt a little belittled at the constant repetition of teachings he had been hearing since childhood. Were his personal beliefs and devotion to God not enough? Why did he need other people to give him their own ideas of religion when he himself was an expert at all of God's teachings by now?

He related to your current situation in this aspect. Even if he felt comfortable in his religious stance, he had to join this club in order to prove to his parents that he was an active participant in the local religious community. He had to constantly deal with his parents' paranoia that he may stray away from God in the way his brother had. His constant assurance that his relationship with God was too strong for breaking was not enough for them; they simply couldn't help showing up in every corner of his life even as far away as he currently was.

Seokmin sighed at these thoughts and drew them away as much as he could. His mind was already preoccupied with thoughts of you coming over tomorrow evening.

That night he went home and prayed his anxieties away, turning to the only being he could possibly trust with his grievances.

"Hi", you smiled brightly at Seokmin, hands holding onto the handles of your backpack as you stood in front of his open apartment door.

"H-hey."

He stepped aside to let you in, wincing internally as he noticed the short length of the white dress you were wearing. He could tell by now that your personal style was more revealing than what you chose to wear at religious gatherings. He couldn't blame you, but he wished you'd cover up more for his poor sanity.

"Do you wanna do it here or did you wanna do it in your bedroom?", you broke him out of his train of thought.

"H-huh ? D-do what? Oh, oh! Yeah. I mean, here is fine. Unless you want to do it in my bedroom? I mean, do the work in my bed– yeah!"

He physically winced at his stupid thoughts; the dumb paranoia that this was more than a platonic study date had gotten to him despite having prayed to calm his nerves just minutes before your arrival.

Luckily for him, all you did was giggle under your breath and take a seat on his couch before taking off your backpack and settling your stuff on his table.

Dumbly, he stood there just watching you, catching sight of your dress riding up yet again in the same way it had two days ago in class.

You patted the space on the couch next to you, telling him to come sit, that you 'didn't bite.' The best response he could muster to that was an awkward chuckle and a follow-up on your instruction.

He made sure to leave ample space between the two of you, even making sure to avoid eye contact as he also pulled out a few notes of his own.

Without saying anything, you scoot closer to him, even turning to face him further, though still facing forward for the most part. Your knees were now bumping into his and your scent was near enough to invade his senses.

"Is this okay? Am I too close?", you asked when you noticed him stiffen.

"N-no. I'm sorry. I ... I'm being dumb. You're fine."

"Then how come you won't look this way?", you leaned even further towards him, making sure his eyes couldn't miss yours from his position.

He braved it and turned to face you, though his eyes were trained on your chin rather than your eyes. He now realized there was less distance between you than he thought.

"I'm sorry, I ..."

You interrupted him but grabbing his chin and gesturing him to look into your eyes.

"Do I make you nervous, Seokmin? You can look at me. You know that, right? It's not a sin to look into a girl's eyes", though your words sounded like mockery, your tone was as soft as your eyes.

He gulped and finally allowed himself to look at you. You were far too close now. Things had progressed too quickly, and in ways that Seokmin had thought were ridiculous to assume when he'd been going over the possibilities of your visit today. Yet here he was, eyes nervously staring into yours, trying their hardest to not lower to your lips or cleavage.

"You're exactly as I thought you would be," you started, hand moving from his chin to softly run your thumb on his cheek, "You're not like them. You're sweet ... But you're scared, aren't you?"

He didn't know where this was going, but your tone was soft and your words sweet so he nodded silently.

"It's okay to want things, Seokmin. Doesn't make you a bad person. You wanna please Him, though, don't you? Don't wanna disappoint Him?"

You were seeing right through him. It made him feel both understood but also like he was just as superficial as he thought the judgmental members of your church group to be.

"I just ..."

"It's okay, Seokmin. He'd want you to be happy. I ... I know it's meaningless hearing it from me, but He wouldn't want you to face this turmoil. You can give in. It's okay, I promise", your last words were said in the form of a whisper against his lips.

You were so close he could breathe you in, but his lips were unfortunately still not touching your own. This frustrated Seokmin, though it also relieved him. He felt way too heated to even engage in something as innocent as a kiss.

He knew that his first kiss would only lead to more. He had been so pent up all this years, shaming any desire away from his mind at every opportunity. He had never even pleasured himself, knowing it was frowned upon by God – at least that's the thought that was hammered into him since way too young an age.

He remembered the various conversations in which any thought of a relationship were verbally beaten out of him. He remembered the reaction of his parents when he had let it slip in kindergarten (his last year in a non-catholic institution) that he had a crush on the girl who'd been assigned as his new desk mate. He recalled the way his mom talked down on the four-year old girl, claiming her parents were not catholic and that she would be a bad influence on him. He remembered when his first phone was confiscated from him at fifteen when his father caught him watching the latest Twice music video at the time, claiming such things would lead him to impure thoughts. He remembered the last day he saw his brother two years ago right after a screaming match with his parents who had insulted and demeaned Jeonghan's partner, claiming he would burn in hell for his decisions against the lord's word.

With all these thoughts plaguing his mind, Seokmin let himself become numb to any spiritual consequences that would come from letting himself go. He found himself internally damning anything that wasn't your lips or the feeling of your hand on his cheek and sighed against you when you finally closed the gap.

Seokmin couldn't help himself in whining into your mouth when he felt your tongue tease his mouth open and begin intertwining with his own.

His arms were stiff against his sides and his lips far too shy and sloppy. It worried him that maybe he was not pleasing you in the way you did him, specially when you pulled away and spoke to him.

Your eyes were still on his lips and the distance between you remained small as you spoke up, "Follow my lead, okay Minnie? Let me show you .."

You kissed him again, this time slower and more sensual. It made his eyes roll back.

He took the hint and began moving his tongue in the same way yours did. He also shyly ran his hands up and down your back upon your wordless insistence that his arms wrap around your form. Following your instructions felt natural, though what you did next caught him completely off guard.

Your hands had snuck away from his cheek, with one now pulling at his hair (and making his eyes roll even further back in the process) and your other hand sneaking into his pants, touching him softly through his boxers.

He jumped back and accidentally disconnected your lips, gasping at the sudden intrusion.

"I ... I cant, I don't ..."

"It's okay if you don't want to, Minnie. I should've asked," you drew back a little, making Seokmin jump once again, but this time to make sure you stayed close.

"It's not that, I just ... I don't– "

"It's okay to want me. It's okay if you want this. We can stop if you want to, but ... you can want me ... You won't get in trouble, I promise."

Your lips were still close enough for him to reach, making him hesitantly grace them with his own. Thankfully you took the hint, giving him a wanton kiss that had him feeling dizzy.

He thoughtlessly kissed you back, whining any time you did something he particularly liked. You didn't attempt touching under his pants again, now simply sticking to running your hands up and down his clothed chest while his shyly caressed your back.

The kiss got heated pretty quickly, making him extremely light headed. He didn't know where this was going nor how he would feel afterwards, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

His thoughts were interrupted when your lips left his own and trailed from his cheek to his ear, licking and nibbling at his lobe before whispering in it.

"Is this okay?"

"Y– yes. Please ..."

Your kisses against his neck had him throwing his head back. If he was mindless before, he was fully without a care now. Even if his community ever found out what he was up to during his first month away from home, he didn't care in this moment. His guilt may come later, but for now all he could do was enjoy your kiss.

"Can I play with you, Minnie?", you pulled away and gave him a sweet peck before asking.

"You ... It's wrong, I– He'll ..."

"He won't know, Minnie. It's okay. It'll feel so good."

You hesitantly snuck your hand under his trousers once more, slowly enough to allow him to deny you should he wish to. His sinful desire for you prevented him from moving, so you continued until your hand was wrapped around him.

"A– ah ... Y– you ... I've never ..." he sighed.

"Never touched yourself like this before?"

"'s not allowed, I ... I shouldn't ..."

"It's okay. I'm just taking care of you. Nothing wrong with taking care of your needs, right Minnie?"

He felt mocked by how ridiculous it sounded coming out of your mouth. But he still felt guilt. Guilt at every moan that left his mouth as you slowly rubbed up and down his length. Guilt at the way he wanted your lips back on his. Guilt at how difficult it was for him to drag his gaze away from your soft mounds peaking from your cleavage.

One thing was betraying everything his parents had always warned him about, but betraying God's word made him feel like he'd burn up until the day he faced his punishment.

Except he couldn't bring you to stop. He couldn't prevent himself in mindlessly nodding at you and asking you to please not stop.

Suddenly you grabbed his arm, directing it towards your chest. You must've noticed his heavy eyes eyeing your cleavage and realized what thoughts had been going through his perverted mind.

"Wanna touch them? It's okay, just ... just squeeze, yeah? That's it, fuck ... You're so pretty, Minnie," you sighed oh so prettily as soon as he followed your direction and experimentally squeezed at your clothed breasts.

He moaned and moaned at both your touch on him and his on yours. But he began to panic when he felt himself heating up more and more, feeling like he would soon reach a crescendo that he would never be able to fall back from.

"It's okay, Minnie. Let go. Let go for me, pretty. I'll take care of you," you must've sensed his panic and shut him up with your tongue in his mouth, swallowing his whines of pleasure as his end took over him.

He had never felt such pleasure before. Every touch you gave him was better than the last, making him wonder what other sinful acts with you would end up feeling like. He shuddered at the thought and went back to the blissful state his high was giving him.

You kept whispering soft praises to him, telling him that it was okay and that he could let go. He hadn't realized that he was crying until one of your hands softly wiped the tears from his cheeks and kissed softly at them. He felt more loved by your care than he ever had before. The seed of doubt was then planted into his head; why would such a loving an intimate act ever be seen as anything but holy?

He began to feel corrupted, but also conflicted on his thoughts on the matter. One thing he knew for sure, however; this would not be enough – he would seek you again and again.

After even more caring words from you, the two of you parted ways with no work done. You kissed him goodbye and told him you'd see him again soon. He responded shyly but you accepted it with yet another kiss and finally left his apartment.

That night Seokmin attempted to pray his conflicting thoughts away once more, but even then, Seokmin left mention of you out of his prayers, fearing that acknowledging your sudden and rapid effect on him would be the downfall of his purity and of the already strained relationship with his parents.

The following Monday, Seokmin saw you again at the first of the two bi-weekly meetings of your church group. As per usual, you sat alone on a corner while the rest of the club engaged in conversation with one another.

Seokmin chose to sit back once again, deciding to watch you from afar rather than participate in the conversation like he usually did, except this time you began to occasionally look back at him with a sweet smile. Your eye contact would cause him to look down with a blush, but after enough instances of catching your eye, he decided to shyly smile back at you. This proved to be fruitful, as you suddenly stood up and quietly walked your way over to him. Due to the conversation being led by the other group members, your new seat next to Seokmin went unnoticed, causing Seokmin's nerves to not flare up too much.

It was wordless but soft, the way in which you shared a seat with him and offered him yet another sweet smile. He felt giddy at having your attention in such a way. He was aware that he barely knew you, but having you become part of his life (in any way you may have wanted) made him feel a sense of pride he had never felt before.

The two of you spent the rest of the meeting giving each other shy smiles and playing tick tack toe on his notebook. When it was time to part ways, you finally spoke up and told Seokmin you needed to head back first, as your next class was far away. Seokmin wanted to offer to walk you, but was interrupted by another member of the group who called his attention – the same guy who had previously warned him about you. Due to the standoffish manner in which other group members behaved around you, you left awkwardly while Seokmin frowned and stayed back.

Slightly frustrated at not being able to bid you a proper goodbye (or walk with you as he had wished to offer), Seokmin's demeanor to his group mate was less polite than usual.

"What, are you two friends?", asked the member in a somewhat accusatory tone.

"I ... Yeah, maybe. Why?"

"I wouldn't advise that, Seokmin. She's a bad influence. I mean, you haven't been participating as much as when you first got here. It starts when you least expect it. Just don't want you to fall down a bad path."

"What bad path?"

"She was part of our faith at some point. Until she got corrupted, and now she just infiltrates our spaces like a nuance. She'll corrupt you in the same way if you're not careful. Take the advice, brother. Just don't get too close," and with that, he gave Seokmin a condescending nod and made his way out.

Since leaving home, Seokmin had forgotten how many churchgoers would cross boundaries without much care. How they would use the excuse of being 'sons and daughters' of God to be judgmental.

He saw no issue with your behavior. Maybe you had kissed Seokmin and maybe you had ... done other stuff to him. But you weren't a bad person for that. It wasn't like Seokmin stopped you (or even wanted to stop you). He wasn't sure why he felt so defensive over his groupmate's advice, but he couldn't help but be peeved off by this interaction for the rest of the day.

His mood stayed so sour towards his groupmate's harsh judgment of you that he had forgotten to do his nightly prayer before going to sleep, even forgetting to send a message with his blessings to his parents like he usually did.

The next morning he awoke to some overbearing messages from his parents inquiring why he had not messaged them the night prior. Seokmin was surprised at himself when his first reaction to their myriad of messages was to roll his eyes and lock his phone back up. He loved his parents, but his separation from them had quickly showed him how controlling they tended to be. But Seokmin realized it wasn't only them; it was the entirety of the puritanical and judgmental community he had grown up with.

Despite having only hung out with you once, you were already a breath of fresh air to Seokmin. You didn't judge him over his shy and socially awkward demeanor. He had a hunch that since you two belonged to the same church group and had likely had similar upbringings, you probably understood why he was the way that he was. Unlike everyone else he had met at this school so far (other than the other members of the church group), you weren't mean to him nor did you ever ignore him. You had seeked him out! The thought still gave him butterflies.

~

The two of you continued to casually hang out like this over the next week or so, though it usually tended to be only while on meetings with your church group or during your women's studies class.

Contrasting with your previous meeting, any time the two of you would hang out now mostly consisted of working on your project or getting to know each other. He had come to find out that you were here on a scholarship and that, as the nosy guy in your church group had stated, you were only attending the church group to appease your parents' belief that you should maintain some type of connection to God regardless of your beliefs in catholicism. You didn't get too much into it, but you also informed Seokmin that despite what the group members believed, you did not have a bad relationship with your parents due to your contrasting beliefs. This made Seokmin envious, pondering about how his parents would react should he ever find himself changing his faith.

Through the few times you saw each other in class, Seokmin grew to like you more and more. He knew now that he felt something for you that he had never before. He had a crush, for arguably one of the first times in his life. There were also more sinister feelings dwelling in his mind, however. Sometimes he would think back to that day alone in his apartment, when you took his innocence (though only partially). He wanted more, but he felt like he was simultaneously sinning and disrespecting you by even thinking about it. He still felt conflicted about last time, thinking himself a sinner and a bad son for disobeying both God and his parents, but he couldn't help himself in wanting more.

A few days later, Seokmin saw you yet again at your shared women's studies class.

Seokmin was completely unable to pay any attention to class today. Unfortunately for his sanity, you had recently begun to sit next to him every time the two of you shared this class. Seokmin had grown accustomed to sitting alone at the very back row of the auditorium in which your women's class was given. The first day he had sat next to a few people, but after mentioning his devotion to God during his personal introduction, he found people not only avoiding his eye and snickering at him but even going out of their way to sit away from him. You had been the sole exception, deciding to sit with him a few days after your meeting at his apartment, now smiling at him as you sat side by side.

Today, you have him more trouble than usual. You sent him flirtatious smiles during the entirety of class, even occasionally gracing your hand slowly on his leg. This had him shuddering and completely distracted, but he couldn't bring himself to stop you. You gave him a thrill he had never experienced before. While his mind before meeting you had always been dedicated to thinking of God and his duties as a member of the church, his mind was now fully occupied by you. As silly as it sounded, he had never felt the thrill of a crush before (specially not one that was reciprocated like this), and now he didn't know how to act.

"Hey, Minnie," you whispered to him as your professor lectured in the background.

"Y- yeah?"

"Wanna meet at my apartment after class today to study?", you now whispered right against his ear, finger drawing figures on his thigh.

"Oh, I– Of course," he coughed out.

You only giggled quietly in response and went back to paying attention to class (though still occasionally doodling cute hearts in Seokmin's notebook).

After class, the two of you walked together. Only a few minutes into your walk through campus, you slipped your hand into his. He was surprised by this, but allowed himself to squeeze yours back. His heart soared when you started swinging your intertwined hands back and forth.

Was this what romance felt like? The thought alone made Seokmin feel giddier than he had ever before. He relished in the simple act of holding your hand and felt pride any time you'd stop for a few seconds to say hi to some friends, never once letting go of his hand and even giving a quick introduction of his name.

You were quite literally heaven on Earth to Seokmin. He couldn't wait to get to know you even further.

~

Walking to your place took about half an hour, but it was worth it the moment the two of you stepped in and you immediately pushed Seokmin against the wall, stealing a kiss from him.

"Minnie ... Been thinking about you since last time ..." you kissed at his neck, pulling his collared neckline out of the way.

"Me too ..."

"Yeah? What'd you think about?", you paused to pull back and look at him, "You don't regret it, do you? Was I too much?", your tone was genuine, more genuine than he had ever heard anyone direct themselves to him.

"N-no, of course not. I've, uh, I wanted more ... Just .. was too shy to ask."

"Aw, Minnie. You don't have to be shy with me. We can do anything you're comfortable with," you shared a sweet smile with him before pulling him back in for a heated kiss.

This was only Seokmin's second instance in kissing you, – last time having been only over a week back – but he now found it easier to match your rhythm and play with your tongue in ways that had you humming against his lips. He wanted to give you pleasure in the way you'd given it to him. So far he felt like he'd been doing well with the kissing. You somehow walked him over to your bedroom without disconnecting your lips, making his heart speed up at the thought of what was coming up next.

He yelped against your lips when you pushed and straddled him on the bed, hands too shy to know where to touch. Fortunately, you didn't leave him hanging for long and positioned them on your waist for him.

"Minnie ... I don't wanna pressure you. So we're gonna do something similar to last time, yeah?"

He was of course in agreement, but ...

"I ... I wanna make you feel good too ... Please?", he almost winced at how pathetic he sounded. He also had absolutely no idea of how to please you. He had never even considered watching porn (being told he'd go to hell for even entertaining such thoughts), nor had he ever received any type of sexual education. As lame as it sounded, Seokmin was completely clueless as to what women did for pleasure. He had been clueless as to how male pleasure worked up until you had shown him.

"Do you want me to teach you how, Minnie?", you asked while unbuttoning his shirt.

"Please ..."

You kissed him again in response, wordlessly taking off both his and your clothes. When you finished, Seokmin couldn't help but feel exposed. However, the thought of his own nudity (sans his boxers) left his mind as soon as he realized you were also down to just your underwear.

With his mouth agape and his arms not knowing where to go, Seokmin simply sat under you and sweat bullets as he attempted not to stare anywhere below your chin.

Noticing his nervous demeanor, you giggled at him and put your hand on his cheek while the other remained on his shoulder.

"Oh, Minnie ... So pretty. Do you even know how pretty you are?", you ran your hands up and down his chest in a sweet manner, "And I'm the only one who gets to see it, hmm? All mine?",

"Y-your .... yes ... for you."

"Fuck. I'm gonna have so much fun with you. Gonna teach you everything."

Despite your words' effect on him, his main focus right now was your almost bare body and its proximity to him. He could feel the heat of your skin against his. His mind kept thinking about what you must look like beneath your underwear, with his eyes heavy and glued to your covered breasts.

"Want me to take off my bra, Minnie? You just have to ask. I'll go as far as you want to go," you pecked his lips yet again, still running your hands up and down his chest.

"Y-yeah. Wanna see you. Is that ... is that okay? Just wanna make you feel as- as good as you did me ..."

Your breath hitched, "Oh, angel ... So sweet and selfless. I'll show you. Fuck, I'll show you everything."

You separated yourself from him a bit in order to give him a full view. Then, in slow and sensual movements, you threw off your bra, proceeding to caress your own breasts as you gave Seokmin a sultry look.

Fuck.

What type of teachings were preventing him from seeing you in your barest of forms? You were nothing lesser than art itself. You were so warm and beautiful; so soft and perfect – both inside and out. Seokmin couldn't believe he had ever considered such things to be scandalous (which admittedly, he still kind of believed). At the same time, he was kind of glad he had never engaged in such acts before, because it allowed for you to be the first (and hopefully last) woman he would ever see in such an intimate setting.

Those thoughts aside, Seokmin was short-circuiting. He was so distracted he didn't even notice you removing your panties and settling back on his lap until you verbally called his attention again.

"Minnie? Wanna feel them? Hmm?", your hands were already on his, leading them directly to your soft mounds.

"F-fuck," he couldn't help but groan upon feeling the weight of them on his hands, "you're so beautiful ... Y-you're, oh fuck-"

Words could not express the unimaginable beauty he was witnessing, nor the arousal he felt at having you so bare and willing in front of him. He didn't know what to do or how he was supposed to react. He felt kind of bad at his wordless state, but he couldn't help being speechless at feeling such pleasure from merely seeing you.

"Like this, Minnie. Just- fuck ... yeah, like that ..." you instructed for his thumbs to play with your nipples, even making him pinch at them. Your sighs and the way you arched your back were enough for Seokmin to want to leave everything behind and dedicate his life to your pleasure.

"K- kiss them? Please, Minnie ..."

He took your order immediately, leaning down to kiss around your nipples, glasses fogging from the close proximity to your skin.

Your sighs intensified and your hand moved to angle his head so that his lips would land on your nipple. Taking the hint, he enveloped your pert nipple in between his lips and sucked, licking and nibbling at it as he saw fit. Eventually he lost himself a bit, allowing his hands to fondle your breasts desperately as he whined into your breast. Your whines for more made him lose his mind, leading to his mind fogging up even more.

This progressed for a while until you finally moved his head away from your tits and stole a wet kiss from his lips.

"You're so good, Minnie. So obedient ... Such a good boy for me," you breathed against his lips, wiping his foggy glasses before slipping them back on.

He physically keened at your praise, not at all used to being praised for such filthy behavior but still extremely pleased he was making you feel good.

"Now ... now I'm gonna show you how to make me feel good, yeah? Still wanna try that, angel?"

He nodded too enthusiastically, glasses coming out of place due to his enthusiasm.

"Okay, baby," you giggled, "Need you to kneel on the floor for me, okay? Right between my legs ..."

Oh. You wanted him to-

He had never explored his sexual desires in any way, so he was fully unaware where exactly this was going, but the thought of looking up at you while he made you feel good between your legs sounded like the holiest act known to human.

He followed your direction, groaning when he saw the hidden space between your legs glisten.

"Oh, God ..."

"Shh, don't use the lord's name in vain, Minnie", you were just teasing, but somehow the reminder of his lord made Seokmin feel a small pang of guilt at the thought of the sin he had been actively committing with you thus far. He decided to push it aside and continue on his path. Nothing mattered to him more right now than your utmost pleasure.

"Lick it?" you used your fingers to open up your folds, letting out even more honey for Seokmin to gawk at.

Wordlessly he got closer and closer, up until his tongue was able to flick at the length of your folds. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at the taste of your essence, becoming instantly obsessed with its warmth. What he was even more obsessed with, however, was the whine you let out at such a simple touch.

Was it possible for him – an inexperienced and sheltered boy – to make someone like you – a gorgeous and clearly knowledgeable girl – feel this good? He needed to test the theory so he kept licking to his heart's contentment, following the directions your hand gave him as you guided his head against you.

He licked shyly at first, only sucking every now and then as he did his best to act accordingly to the sounds you were making. It didn't help that his mind was plagued by your taste, smell, and the warmth between your legs – not to mention your mewls of pleasure.

"My clit, baby ... Your tongue, angle it here- oh ... fuck, right there, Minnie ..." you angled him so that he could flick his tongue at a tiny little pearl found between your legs.

With all the newfound knowledge he had on how to deliver your pleasure, Seokmin did the best he could to repeat the movements you seemed to really enjoy (at least based on how prettily you'd cry his name after). Despite his mind being completely clouded by the entirety of your person, Seokmin continued to moan and cry against your cunt as he silently begged for more of your cunt against his face.

"M-minnie! Oh ... Fuck. Such a g-good boy ... All mine, shit ... Your tongue, oh ... just like that, angel ... Y-your nose, Minnie, please! Your nose, just- oh! Fuck", you cried for him, at some point taking full control and just grinding against his face as his nose and tongue poked into your most sensitive spots.

Seokmin felt incredibly proud at your mindless state, knowing it was him who had achieved that. Nothing mattered more in that moment than your pleasure; pleasure which only Seokmin could give you.

"Gonna cum for you, angel. Lick it all for me? Be a good boy and take it for me, yeah? Shit!", you practically vibrated against him as your high took over you.

Seokmin kept his face between your legs as you came, doing his best to lick at every single drop of essence and moaning at the taste of you. He allowed you to use his face as you saw fit, reveling in the knowledge that he had given you such other-worldly pleasure.

He didn't know it was possible for him to feel such pleasure from just watching you, but now he understood. If anyone asked, this was what heaven was supposed to look like – a beautiful girl losing herself to Seokmin's touch as he himself tried not to lose his own mind.

Throughout the entirety of your orgasm, Seokmin couldn't control his hips as they ground against the bed with a complete lack of rhythm, simply humping animalistically at you taking over every single one of his senses.

After a few moments of aftershock, you suddenly pulled Seokmin up and attacked him with a filthy kiss; filthier than any you'd shared before.

Your kiss alone had Seokmin struggling to keep himself from cumming in his boxers. You had been testing his self-control from the moment you teased him in class earlier today and he just wasn't sure how much longer he could take until pleasure took over him once again.

"Want me to try it on you, Minnie?", you asked once you pulled away from the kiss.

"That? O-on me?"

"Mhmm. My mouth on you? Is that okay?", you pecked his lips again, seemingly unable to disconnect from him for too long (which Seokmin thoroughly related to).

"Yes", he deadpanned, still out of breath from being suffocated by your thighs and then your lips just moments ago.

You wasted no time in removing his boxers. Seokmin felt slightly shy at this, having never let anyone ever see him nude before. Even last time he had been with you, you had pleasured him through his clothes and not seen past his shirtless state thus far.

But you praised him as soon as he was fully nude, kissing up and down his thighs as you told him how beautiful he was, how pretty and deserving of praise you believed him to be. His whole body heat up at your soft words, with goosebumps forming at your soft kisses that led up closer and closer to where he was aching the most.

He gasped when you finally took a hold of his member, bringing your face close enough to give the weeping tip a kiss.

"O-oh ..." he threw his head back at the sweet yet filthy gesture.

You giggled under your breath and began kitten licking at his tip, sucking lightly every so often. He felt like he had finally arrived to heaven. All those stories about what awaited his good behavior while on earth must've been lies, because he found the greatest reward of all in the form of your mouth wrapped around him.

Getting braver by the second, you put almost the entirety of him in your mouth, doing things with your tongue and lips that his poor brain couldn't even process. He whined and cried at your movements, not able to understand how easily you could bring him to tears.

As he quickly neared his high, his mind turned into mush, not allowing him to register what was going on with his body. All he knew was that his cries got louder by the second, his cheeks now damp with the tears that wouldn't stop falling from his eyes. His hips were uncontrollable, having to be restrained by your hands as he chased for his high with the utmost desperation.

"P-please! I need ... Fuck, please ..." he begged for nothing in particular as his high completely took over.

He felt dirty and disrespectful as he did it, but he came inside your mouth, wincing at the way your moans vibrated while he was still in your mouth. He couldn't help himself; his thoughts had been completely overtaken by the pleasure.

His cries had not stopped as of yet, even rendering him emotional as the high of his orgasm wore down. Now was the moment of regret, knowing he had broken his unspoken oath of celibacy yet again.

This was something all people in his community swore to. It was rarely ever spoken about, but Seokmin knew that he was supposed to save himself for marriage – in every sense. Despite already having quite strong feelings towards you and the things you did to him, Seokmin still felt like he had somehow disrespected you by engaging in such acts with you. But more than anything, he felt like he had disappointed God.

So he cried. He cried into his hands despite how embarrassed he felt at doing such thing in front of you, specially after having shared such intimacy.

"Oh, Minnie ..." you coo'd at him, getting up to hold his large frame in your arms.

You allowed him to exhaust his cries as he quietly asked for forgiveness. He didn't have to explain himself, as you understood. You made your understanding evident by reassuring him that he had done nothing wrong, and that he was still such a good man.

He believed your words and thanked you, eventually calming down enough to stop crying and speak coherently.

"Do you ... do you think He'd be disappointed in me?", he knew it was a stupid question to ask considering your lack of religion. The two of you had never thoroughly discussed religion with one another, but he knew you at least understood where he was coming from.

You pouted at him, cooing at him as you responded, "Of course not, Minnie. He loves you. You're such a good boy; treat everyone so kindly even when they don't deserve it. Treat me so kindly ... No matter what anyone ever tells you, what we just did is no sin", you explained.

"B- but the bible-"

"Shhh. Your faith is your own. No one can take that away from you, Minnie. Even if I don't share those beliefs anymore, I know an amazing person when I see one. You've done nothing wrong, okay?", you caressed his cheek and pecked his lips to drive your point home.

He nodded as he tried not to tear up at your kindness.

Him even questioning his actions' consequences on his faith would've provided him with a scolding from his parents or a look in disapproval from his reverend. But in turn you gave him acceptance and love. There was no way in his mind to believe that being with you – feeling good with you – was anything other than the holiest act he could engage in.

"Do you regret it?", you interrupted his thoughts.

"N-no, of course not ... It's just ..."

"I'd never want to make you do something you don't wanna do. I ... I know we haven't known each other for long, but I like you, Seokmin. I don't want you to think I'm just trying to ... corrupt you."

"You're not!," in a change of pace, he grabbed onto your hands and looked directly into your eyes as he spoke, "Everything you've taught me, I've wanted it too. I ... I like you too."

You smiled at this, squeezing his hands affectionately, "Yeah? Does that mean you wanna keep hanging out?"

"Yeah, I'd love that."

~

Unfortunately, time for Seokmin to go home eventually came and he bid his goodbyes to you.

The two of you spent a few hours after your heart to heart actually working on your project and later watching a few episodes of a show you said you'd been watching on Hulu. It was a nice time for Seokmin to get to know you outside of school, and it only reinstated how much he liked you already.

It was about 10PM by the time he got home, which was usually around the time he went to sleep due to the early hours of his classes the following day. Almost as soon as he finished his nightly skincare and prepared himself to go to sleep, he suddenly got a call.

It was odd for him to get calls in general, but this time around he knew who it'd be before even checking his phone.

It was his parents.

Seokmin had seen this coming. He had gotten too into his head this past week; too into you. Not only had he neglected contacting his parents as frequently as they had agreed (re: every night in order to 'keep a close eye on him'), but he had also been neglecting his religious duties. He had not kept contact with any of his religious friends from back home nor had he even attended church as of late. And surprisingly ... Seokmin had not minded these recent developments. He felt freer than ever. For the first time in his life, he was not under constant surveillance, receiving judgment for any instance in which his parents believed him to step out of line in his religious lifestyle.

Back home, a single absence from bi-weekly mass would be met with passive aggressive disapproval. Any instance in which Seokmin expressed interest in anything outside of the church (such as non catholic music and dance – both of which his parents had immediately shut down), he felt as if he was breaking a law at the way in which his parents would scold him for ever even considering such 'perverted' hobbies.

Upon moving away, Seokmin had begun to realize that his upbringing hadn't been as perfect as he had thought it to be, that his parents didn't love him as unconditionally as he first thought. He thought back to his brother's estrangement from his family and felt regret at not standing up for him, knowing that his parents would turn on him just as fast as they did Jeonghan.

With a sigh, he picked up the call, mustering as much interest as he could. He made some excuse as to why he had been unable to keep in contact and promised to be better moving forward. He faked a smile in his voice and forced his way through a peaceful call (sans the few passive aggressive comments his parents threw his way) and called it a night.

For the first time in his life, he put religion and his parents aside to give himself a restful sleep, only looking forward to seeing you the next morning and going to sleep with the remembrance of what the two of you did fresh in his mind.

"Oh ... I- please ..."

"Just like that, Minnie, fuck ... Don't move, angel. Just let me do all the work, yeah?", you ground against him even faster, angling your hips so that his member would grace against your clothed folds.

It seemed like the dam had broken for you at the same time as it had for Seokmin, because you had jumped him the very next time he made his way through the threshold of your apartment.

The two of you kissed until exhausting yourselves, leading Seokmin to beg you to undress both you and him (with pleading eyes rather than verbally, as he was still too shy to beg for such things with words).

It was only one day after you had given Seokmin oral (a concept which you had introduced him to), which somehow made Seokmin even more desperate to have you. Even after his parents' call ruining his mood, you had managed to bring it back up immediately after when you messaged him late at night suggesting the two of you meet up today. After spending the entire day together, Seokmin walked you home yet again, only to be jumped by you (once again) upon entering your apartment.

One thing led to another and Seokmin found himself fully unclothed under you as you ground against him through the thin layer of your panties. Seokmin was completely weightless under you, becoming a shell of his old self as he desperately guided your hips to grind against him. He wasn't sure where this would lead, but he felt the usual conflict that always arose when the two of you were alone like this. Even through all your reassurance, Seokmin felt as if he was betraying an oath by engaging with his sexual desires for you. However, these thoughts were immediately pushed aside when you leaned back down to kiss him again.

The kiss was nasty, for lack of a better word. Seokmin didn't fully realize it, but his desperation for your touch would sometimes render him into a sloppy kisser, but you seemed to not mind it as you moaned and licked into his mouth any time his kisses got a bit messy. Your grinding got more and more intense by the second, throwing your head back at the way Seokmin senselessly canted his hips against your own.

"M-minnie ... Want more ... Is that okay? Just need to feel you so bad ... Please ..."

"M-more?"

"Do you want it too, Minnie? Wanna know what it feels like?"

"Show me? Wh- Oh ..."

"You want it too, don't you? Hmm? You're so hard against me, angel. Don't you wanna feel me?"

"I just ..."

Before he could formulate a response through the lust that was clouding his mind, you suddenly brought one of his hands between your bodies, going behind the forbidden threshold of your underwear. Anxious but also incredibly turned on, Seokmin fell limp and allowed you to do whatever you wanted. You grabbed his middle and pointer fingers, angling them so that they could seamlessly slip between your folds. Though Seokmin had already felt the wetness between your legs the day prior, he had not properly felt just how warm and tight you could be.

"Oh, it's so ... Fuck," he moaned when you began guiding his hand so his fingers could go in and out.

"Shit, Minnie ... So good ... Wanna feel it now, angel? Will you give it to me?", you slipped his fingers out after proving your point, now going back to caressing his cheek with your own hand.

"B-but ... It's a sin ..." he let out before even realizing. Even with your constant reassurance up to this point, Seokmin still felt ties to his faith that made him second-guess himself.

He knew that he had already gone past certain point with you, and that having sex with you wouldn't make much difference in his morality, but he still thought of all the teachings of celibacy and all the censorship his community had forced onto him. Was this the right choice? His body was screaming at him to let himself go and seek his high from you. His mind was telling him similar things, though there was also emphasis on the fact that doing this with you, of all people, would be the best choice he could ever make.

"Angel ... It's okay to want it. You don't have to be scared ... I'll take care of you. Just wanna be close to you, Minnie. Don't you want that too? Hmm? Just like you so much, angel," you kisses softly at his chest as you said this, breaking his resolve.

And you were right. He wanted this so badly. He wanted to be as close to you as possible, to give himself to you in the most intimate way he could.

"Y-yes. Want you so much ..." he was shy as he said it, but he meant it to the fullest extent.

You proceeded to sensually remove your underwear, sitting back down above Seokmin's dick as you made a show of grinding your nude pelvises against one another, making Seokmin cry out in desperation.

Any doubts he had left him as soon as you allowed his tip to slip in, throwing his head back as he finally felt your warmth envelop him. You let out a variety of expletives at the feelings, all while clawing at Seokmin's chest, something that had his back arching in unexpected pleasure.

"Oh, Minnie ... So full, f-fuck ..." you moaned out, taking on a slow yet deep pace that made Seokmin shut his eyes and scrunch his nose.

Seokmin couldn't describe the pleasure you were giving him. He was practically frozen in place, the only part of his body still conscious were his hands, which were likely bruising your hips from how hard he was digging his fingers onto them. He needed to keep himself grounded, but he truly felt like today was judgment day, and he had gone to heaven.

"Open your eyes, angel. Wanna see you," your hand reached over to his cheek, angling his head so he could look your way rather than keep his head in its thrown back state.

He opened his eyes to find you smiling down at him with the light hanging on your ceiling providing the best view of you possible. You looked like an angel gazing down at him, like you came down to give him the greatest ruin and drag him back up with you. You had corrupted him in the best way possible.

"Oh, Minnie ... So beautiful. My prettiest boy ... Does it feel good, angel?", he nodded and let out a whine at your soft inquiries, "Yeah? How's it feel when I do this?", you squeezed around him, now bouncing rather than grinding against him, making him close his eyes back up and cry out your name.

"I- Please! I need ...", his nails clawed at your hips and back, begging for something unknown to him. He needed more, but he wasn't sure of what.

"I know, pretty. Gonna give it to you, just- fuck ... Just need you to be good for me, yeah?," you hiccuped, leaning down to kiss him again.

He cried against your lips, eyes rolling back when your tongue began dancing with his own, your hands reaching down to toy with his nipples. You were giving him too many things at once, making the overstimulation take over his already hazy brain. He didn't care about any moral repercussions to what you were doing together. Every time you touched him further solidified how right being with you felt.

Only a few moments of your ministrations were enough for Seokmin to feel that familiar coil begin to tighten. He knew his end was near, causing him to grow restless as he planted his legs on the bed and humped against you. Despite his lack of proper technique and the sloppiness of his movements, you matched his own and wailed his name.

Your hands came down to bring his up and pin them above his head, grinding deeper and deeper against him as the two of you crazily chased your highs. The bed shook against the wall at the intensity of your actions, with nothing but nasty sounds of your muffled moans and your arousal filling up the silence. Eventually you disconnected your lips, eyeing the string of spit that connected you before burying your head in the crook of his neck.

"I- I like you so much," he groaned out, high-pitched and breathless.

"Like you so fucking m-much! You have no idea ..." you reciprocated his words as you clamped down around him and let yourself be taken by your high. Your high was more than enough to trigger his own, leaving him in a practically astral state for a few moments as his hands ran frantically up and down your body, squeezing and scratching every so often.

When your highs finally wore down, you laid yourself beside him, cuddling him near you so you could wrap your legs around him and bring him as close as possible. You faced each other as you caught your breaths, running your hands along the length of his back as his own rubbed at your hips. The moment was pure bliss.

"Do you regret it?"

"No. I could never regret anything we've done. I- I'm sorry if I made you feel that way," he looked away from your eyes.

You nudged him to look at you once more, "Don't apologize, Minnie. I understand. I'm happy I was your first. Maybe one day I'll teach you even more fun things," you flirted through a giggle.

"Oh, I- Hah, yeah", he was caught off guard by your flirting, but still laughed along.

Yeah, he wouldn't mind that.

Over the following weeks, Seokmin did a better job of keeping up with his parents. He kept a safe distance while still giving them the belief that he was still fully engaged in the religious spaces they had envisioned for him. However, he could not help but lie when it came to what occupied his day to day life – you. He didn't bring you up, which you agreed upon after a tearful conversation in which Seokmin detailed his upbringing, leading you to spend the night up with him as you comforted him. He was also yet to attend mass again, and he even occasionally skipped the bi-weekly meetings of his church group – though only when you skipped also. These were a few of the things he kept secret from his family – advice from his brother Jeonghan, who he had recently gotten in contact with again.

Seokmin's faith was still standing; his relationship with God was slightly injured by his internal conflict about your sexual relationship, though he was now sure that he felt no regrets at anything the two of you had engaged in. To him, being with you felt like the biggest reward he could have ever hoped for. Seokmin realized quickly that his issue really laid with the catholic community in which he had been brought up, rather than his relationship with God itself. He disagreed with the judgmental and overbearing way in which certain catholics circles ran, something which he distanced himself from upon meeting you.

You had even introduced him to a few of your friends, some which were even catholic like him. Your buddy Joshua was one of the chillest guys he had ever met, yet his faith was pretty intact. This made Seokmin feel less guilt, though his balance between what was right and wrong in the eyes of God was still a bit of a mess. Luckily he had you help him navigate his way through that.

Along with all these developments, Seokmin had also begun speaking to his brother Jeonghan again (behind his parents' backs, of course). It made him happy to know that despite his brother straying away from his community, he had ended up happy with his life, leading a steady relationship and being happy away from his parents' constant religious persecution.

And you ... You had become official in these past few weeks, making Seokmin constantly have to pinch himself to confirm whether or not he was imagining all this. He was still a very shy and awkward individual, usually opting to hang out alone with you in either of your apartments. He appreciated how patient you were with him, never judging him for being a bit different and even teaching him the pleasures he had been missing out on during his very restricted upbringing. You had become a piece of heaven on earth to Seokmin, corrupting him, but only in the best of ways.

a/n: i left so many things unresolved here oops but all i cared about was seokmin's character development and we got there in the end so! anyways hope u guys enjoyed!!

To read short 2k word continuation u can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content:

wc: 587 (teaser); 2080 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

Seokmin was, yet again, at a crossroads. Though this time it wasn't anything too serious, or maybe it was.

By current time, it had now been four months since the two of you had begun dating. 'I love you's' were shared and multiple sleep overs were had. Your relationship had been everything anyone could hope for a first relationship, and Seokmin now felt way more at ease whenever the two of you did anything sexual.

Admittedly, Seokmin was still slightly awkward about it, still never allowing himself to start sexual interactions and simply following your lead. Which was the crux of his current predicament.

He was unsure if he had done something wrong, if he had maybe insulted you or maybe there was some other unknown reason behind, but it had been over a week since the two of you had slept together. Over the past four months, the two of you spent most of your nights together, taking on a very domestic routine within the first two months of your relationship. Though you obviously didn't get down to sexual activities every day, it was common for it to happen a few times a week (at the least).

It usually began with you cornering Seokmin against the wall after a tiring day of college, or sometimes it began during a movie night in which you couldn't keep your hands to yourself. Whatever it was, you were always giving Seokmin an opening to entertain his sexual desires with you whenever he pleased. Even though he was always too shy to ask, it was almost as if you were able to read his mind and always incite him when he needed it most.

His sexual desires for you had grown quite a lot, making Seokmin worry at times. Was it normal how badly he wanted you at all times? Was this a consequence of having never before received pleasure until meeting you? He felt like a degenerate sometimes, from how badly he wanted you. Which was the main reason as to why he grew antsy so quickly after not having sex with you for the past week or so.

In contrast to these past months, this past week and a half (nine days to be exact; not that Seokmin was keeping count or anything), you had not given Seokmin anything further than a sweet peck on the lips whenever the two of you fell asleep next to each other. You didn't act any differently past that, still showering him with love and spending as much time as you could with him.

It wasn't that Seokmin expected sex from you or anything, but ever since you had taught him how pleasurable it could be to have a romantic partner, he could not see himself ever going back to his old, puritan lifestyle. Seokmin had become, for lack of a better word, an addict. He couldn't help himself in desiring you every time he caught an inch of your bare legs or the soft skin of your breasts through your cleavage. He had deprived himself of sex for far too long and now he could no longer live without it.

He didn't want to seem desperate, or as if he only valued you for sex, but he needed to get to the bottom of this and find a way to get you to touch him again. He was far too shy to ever ask you directly, but he would work his hardest to entice you into letting him have you again

...

find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!

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[jack-ackles]

i have waited long enough to say this but LORD DEBLING IS AN ASSHOLE.

i cant fucking take all these tweets and "opinions" saying penelope should've ended up with debling and that debling is better than colin

all those people can go and (i can't stress this enough) fuck themselves!!!!!

A man in his mid forties looking for a bride in a room full of eligible women in the age group 18-22

He was looking for a wife in the room full of girls who wished for a good match, loving and dashing husband.. but HE wasn't looking for "love" as he would always love nature more.

He wanted to marry asap so that he could leave for his tour, which also meant:

he wanted a wife who would basically be his housekeeper and look after his estate.

which probably also mean, since he doesn't have a family, he would leave for his tour but not before getting his supposed wife preggo so that he will have an heir to continue his legacy in case something happens to him. that's why he was looking for a wife urgently this year.

he was looking for someone LOYAL? but when did he ever give any hint that he would not cheat? he was the one to roam the world meet thousands of people.. no promise of being loyal himself but wanted to leave a wife behind him to take care of his properties AND be alone waiting for him?

The way he didn't need more than one hint that penelope was in love with someone else to cancel his proposal makes me sickkk, not a chance, no understanding, just a direct assumption that she WILL cheat behind his back.. its a proof he just wants a housekeeper and someone to make and look after his heir, NOT. A. WIFE!!!

Also, lets look at this from penelope's angle.

to all who think lord debling is in the race and there is a debling-penelope-colin love triangle are sadly mistaken and once again i blame media illiteracy of people.

the only reason pen even looked at debling's way was because she gave up hopes of LOVE and a happy fulfilling life. When she realized if she wants freedom from featheringtons for rest of her life she needs to get out there and marry someone from whatever options she can get,to fit in society. she gave up on waiting for colin to love her back, she gave up on colin (and thus, the first polin kiss). And the first, only and best option she got was lord debling.

And as for colin..

When he said "I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington", The intent behind his words was not to belittle Penelope but rather for his friends to know that the nature of their is relationship as friends only.

(ofcourse this is obvious because colin could never say bad things about penelope.. evrr!! but once again.. media illiteracy! or should i say colin haters)

saying colin is a rake who "slept around half of europe".. colin is 22 or 23 years old. trying to fit in society. trying to find a purpose, trying to find intimacy and not feel distant. he is young, he was single, young, didn't have realization of his romantic feelings for yet.

but people are acting like debling in his mid forties did not sleep around.. he literally travels all the time, colin is still half his age. And also, in the show nothing implied he would stay loyal while on tour after being married.

colin didnt realize pen was in love with him so as his friend, a man, he always kept his distance respected her boundaries as a woman. He interacted with pen very less at the balls and events because he is seen as an eligible suitor in the eyes of society and it wouldn't help pen get suitors. in season 3, he hears pen and wants to help her (selflessly as he did with others) to get a suitor - but started realizing his feelings.

but the day he realizes his feelings for pen he didn't play around like other MLs, went straight away to pen, managed to come on right time to stop debling's proposal, he didn't play around.. just confessed his feelings then and there!

i am 101% convinced that whoever keeps saying pen should've ended up with lrd debling really wants her to live a miserable, lonely life even after the show keeps telling us she wants a loving, fulfilling life after what she has to go through with featheringtons.

wanting penelope to end up with old ass debling who is distant detached over a young tall and handsome man who is also her bestfriend, who she also loved ever since she first saw him?.. its cruel. its simply HATE.

"colin couldn't match her intellect"

"colin will definitely end up cheating"

"who would want to marry a rake over a rich smart explorer who would be gone for years and you could live a life like jane austen"

"it felt like throwing the fat girl a bone"

stfu. gtfo. kys. fys.

[coriphallus]

DA: The Veilguard Spoiler review pt1 - Blood Magic

alright let's do this. let's write an in-depth review of veilguard. this will be long and this will be negative and i might eventually say some good things but everything i say will be undermined with a 'BUT'.

its now been around a week since i finished the game and had some time to parse my thoughts and this is why i didnt enjoy the game; NOT why you shouldnt.

so dragon age has a very special place in my heart and i am %100 the kind that has DAO as their favourite game. i have played these games religiously, and let me prefix this by saying i was not hyped for this game, i wont lie and say i wanted bw to succeed or i hoped the game would be good etc etc. if i liked the game, it would be a surprise. alas.

so theres multiple reasons for that, but the canary in the mine for me had been the announcement on blood magic, and yeah i was not shocked after DAI but i was still disappointed. so lets start with blood magic:

Blood Magic

DA lore has changed alot over time, and just like the media it took inspiration from (ASOIAF) i was under the impression that it used unreliable narrators deliberately, just as theyve poked fun at the concept with bethanys tits. it made sense then that the people telling these stories didnt know much about blood magic therefore they couldnt explain it fully but we've known some things for certain, from the text. blood magic uses blood as its source of power instead of lyrium (blood=life force), what constitutes as blood magic is open to interpretation (i.e phylacteries), multiple groups outside of the 'civilised society' such as chasind are not so staunchly against it, knowledge on it can be passed down from a mentor and that mentor usually happens to be a spirit. it can be used to enact control over people in a literal sense and thats considered by the narrative of all DA games to be more reprehensible than burning someone alive.

now i will derail this but i swear im going somewhere with it. i grew up in a country with majority white people, some blond, most with exposed hair who lived in big cities with cobblestone roads and snowy winters and starbuckses, and who would consider themselves westerners. some religious practices i know less about than most christians know about their holidays.

where my grandma lived was at the bottom of a high slope, and once a year when we went to visit her id see a thick trail of blood trickle down from the waterway to pool on her street, and at that dinner the family (and neighbours, sometimes) would bring a myriad of dishes and we'd feast. i would see butchers shops clean their curbs with buckets of water, mopping red tinted liquid down a drain. when i grew older and we were visiting my mothers village i watched the men subdue and kill a cow that we were going to eat that night. i watched them skin it and separate the meat from its bones, explaining what parts of an animal is used for which dishes because it was their craft and a young girl showed interest. as people we always live with the knowledge that our lives depend on death, whether it be a plant or an animal. existence is not moral and clean, and death is messy. getting blood stains out of a fabric once a month is the lived reality of more than half the human population.

i was not raised religious, nobody in my close family were, i didn't feel any sort of way when those men started to pray around the cow but i knew why they did it, even if it was performative for some, for the rest they had to show respect. the cow was meant to represent somebody you cared about, offering it in their stead symbolically. it needed to be respected, it needed to be butchered without pain. save from one serving of meat, as was tradition, were donated to the food banks.

now im sure some of you are thinking 'no matter how you slice it, its still a brutal act. made more brutal by the audience deriving some form of moral superiority' and yes, i used to think that too, because what is a religious practice for them is a show to me. but it is the norm where i grew up, and in the end a cow is dead regardless because we need to eat. and some people who needed to eat more than us got to eat too.

somewhere in germany news break out that some immigrants were practicing unethical and unsanitary butcherings, you see the footage of men in kufi and puffy pants and women covered completely in black sheets get ushered out by police. they shout some things in a foreign language, speaking the name of their foreign god. they show a censored room covered in blood and gore.

so i have to ask now, when you play veilguard and see venatori torturing and exploding a halla into a puff of red smoke which image does it bring to mind, what do you think of when you hear 'ritual sacrifice'? you may not have noticed this parallel but your brain sure did, as it has been noticing for your entire life and counting, the same reason you cringe at the barbarity of people consuming raw flesh, painting their foreheads with blood, killing animals you would pet. its alien, its gross, its wrong.

i cant play this game and take it seriously with its mask yanked off, gloating about its lack of nuance every step of the way. when you hit people red stuff comes out, red stuff bad. killing bad. murder bad. that it extends more sympathy to a fantasy deer than it ever allows for living breathing people of its universe, faceless and primitive.

in other DA games there were people over there somewhere who enslaved others, built their entire civilization on the ruins of gods they cannot comprehend, practiced bloody sacrifices and rituals that doomed the world for their own power, and even in their homeland they are nothing but canon fodder to be murdered and gawked at. their traditions, religion, entire culture is less than a set dressing, because whatever grosses you out are the bad apples, because the good ones cant be anything else and still derive sympathy from the audience.

and its true, you need to be an exceptional writer to make that work, especially if you dont have any real life experience to pull from. you need to stain your hands a little, and be prepared to be called dirty.

but i see it, i see those news reports everywhere i look in the game, i see the streets being cleaned and scrubbed so the tourists wouldnt call them backwards people, unclean, less than.

ive never played a game so repulsed by and is uninterested in its own universe than DAV, in every line of dialogue i can feel it trembling in fear. my companions tell me i dont need to watch a deer getting butchered, i can look away and proceed to electrocute hundreds of masked men some of whom are talking about comically evil things like patricide.

this has always been a point of contention in the medium of video games as the most prominent way to engage with the world has been through violence, and for me the DA franchise has always managed to tackle this by allowing its main character to be messy. yes, hawke cleaves thru countless faceless raiders but theyre also an illegal immigrant trying to get by with nothing to offer to the world than their violence. warden is deliberately recruited for that same violence, the only purpose of their existence is to fight as theyre made to shed everything else from their old life. and still, still you play these characters as they are allowed to grow, heal, carve out a little space for themselves where they can laugh and joke with their peers. it is juxtaposed to that darkness in their lives that makes those moments precious.

'what is good?' the games asked, and they answered 'doesn't matter, the world can be a better place with them in it'

veilguard asks 'what is good?' and answers 'you are.'

it doesnt matter whether blood magic is bad lore-wise (and that discussion is irrelevant to this decision made by the devs), because it needs to be narratively. like tabloid news the entire premise of the story is built on it. it needs to be inaccessible to and shunned by your party and rook because they need to be 'good' and in contrast, your enemies need to be 'bad'

and like dominoes it retroactively reframes the moral stance of every game in the franchise.

so, yes, i just laughed when i saw that announcement. i didnt know what else to do. but hang on to your knickers because it gets so much worse...

[mindisinmars]

WAS ALLXABOUTXMARIE

WELCOME TO MY BLOG !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i probably should have done one of these ages ago but oh well

im marie, but i go by various names online. Mars or Mari also works, but you can literally call me anything and ill probably respond

im not the most tumblr knowledgeable, ive had an account since 2020 but i didnt start using it until recently.

this started out as an aesthetic account but it really just trailed off after a while and i post wtv

i dont really stick to one thing or fandom, but i do get really into things for day or weeks at a time (most significantly as im writing this, Zero Day)

i usually just complain or ramble on here, so sorry about that. the 'shut up mars!' tag is reserved for rants/personal biz that i should really shut up about, the 'tumblrboxd' tag is for random movie comments

i have a bad habit of typing like this: "y r u w8ing b4 school 2 do smthn?" i am TRYING to get rid of it

my dms and asks and what not are always open! i am very socially awkward though so i sincerely apologise for that, but ill try my best i promise ❤

INTERESTS THAT ILL ALWAYS BE DOWN TO TALK ABOUT:

Sky High, Perks of Being a Wallflower, 9-1-1, T@GGED, The Smiths, Third Eye Blind, Red White and Royal Blue, DONNIE DARKO, Dead Boy Detectives, Shelter, Paper Girls, My Babysitters a Vampire, RIVER PHOENIX, Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, Scott Pilgrim, Enola Holmes, Marauders, David Bowie, ANYTHING by David Levithan i love him sm, Zero Day, Words on Bathroom Walls, My Bestfriend is a Vampire, Dead Poets Society, Narnia, As You Are, I Saw The TV Glow, Speak, SCREAM 1-6, Theres Someone Inside Your House, Bestfriends Whenever!!!!!!, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, We Can Be Heroes, Fanfik, Flipped, The Adam Project, Everything Everything, CHARLIE PLUMMER, Ladybugs (1992), The Outsiders, Call me by Your Name, The Invisible Thread, Sing Street, Lego Batman, Kill Your Darlings, Luca, Erin and Aaron, School Spirits, Christmas Chronicles, Fantastic Mr Fox, The Breakfast Club, Stand By Me, IT, Inside, Whats Eating Gilbert Grape, CHRONICLE, Unfriended, Unfriended: Dark Web, Wham!, When a Stranger Calls (2006), 10 Things I Hate About You, JUNO, Jennifers Body, Mid 90s, Easy A, But I'm a Cheerleader, Heathers, Hamilton, Happy Death Day, The Half of It, Paper Towns, Looking for Alaska, Life as We Know It, Doctor Who!!!, Eyewitness, 500 Days of Summer, 1987, Before Sunrise, The Virgin Suicides, Spree, Me Earl and the Dying Girl, Spontaneous, Warm Bodies, The Duff, The Map of Tiny Perfect Things, Countdown, TIME LOOPS, Tyler Young, Invisible Sister, Secret Headquarters, CW Arrowverse, Grant Gustin, When Harry Met Sally, Danielle Panabaker, Hallmark Movies, Michael Cera, DEAR EVAN HANSEN, Be More Chill, Hamilton, Mean Girls, Tick Tick Boom, Andrew Barth Feldman, Sam Tutty, Four Evans sing For Forever, Everyday, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, Papas Wingeria, Skins UK, Brooklyn 99, Pretty Little Liars, Supernatural, Alice Oseman, Julie and the Phantoms, The Hollow, Barbie Life in the Dream House

^feel free to put things about these movies/shows/artists/books in my asks!! i know theres alot but im always down to talk about any of em!

i also do my own writing and im working on translating one of them into a screen play!! so if im rambling on about ilyb or tpb and you have no idea what it means, thats why!

(@dietcokeluvr6969, @pig-mania, @woodsboromassacre, )and a secret fourth one i wont name incase irls find this) are all me!)

i feel a little silly writing this, but yeah! thats that on top of that!

[chocottang]

(looks at the time, midnight) perfect time for posting!

silly little animatic for a silly little au i will yap about under the cut. but basically, the shadows are humans, and gold is the illegitimate son of mr. golden, so he has to deal with lots of shit. also i KNOW the audio is not synced but IM NOT editing that again. i refuse

ok i will probably not make an actual comic or anything for the au so ill just tell you all about it rn even though im eepy and thus will probably forget things. also i didnt read through All Of That a second time so im sorry if theres mistakes or incomprenhensible sentences

uhhh the idea came to me bc i wanted to make human versions of shadows, but i thought itd be boring if all the shadows were just twins of their human with the exact same trauma. dont get me wrong its very interesting to see two characters deal with the same issues very differently but when its ALL of the pairs it can get boring (to ME, this is just my own feelings). so i went hey, famous people seem to never stop cheating, what if we did that instead? and boom gold illegitimate son was born. also when i say mr. golden i dont mean golden's dad, i mean golden and joy's grandpa. I KNOW. GROSS. thats kinda the point. it also wasn't like, a one night stand that went wrong, this man had a whole ass second family. technically not cheating though bc his wife was already dead, but still not good.

so. gold was just living his silly little normal life with his mom and semi-absent father (they would say he was just very busy with work and travelled abroad and all that, which is the exact same excuse he'd give golden when he want visit gold)(also gold's mom was very much aware of the whole thing from the start) when suddenly him and his mom got into a car accident. gold got scars and a broken arm, while his mom took most of the blow. her upper body was mostly okay bc gold was able to see the car coming from her side and instinctively pulled his mom away, but he could only move her upper body to the side, and her lower back and legs took the blow. so, with his mom hospitalized, the authorities obviously asked him to call his dad to come over. so he did, and mr. golden showed up. and obviously the news immediatly caught on to this and made it a scandal. the local rich old guy with a company that has always had a brand of helping society with their innovations turned out to have a second family, and a son who is around his grandchildren's age. how could u NOT report that. anyways, gold's mom needs to be hospitalized for AT LEAST a couple of months, so gold moves in with his dad. and of course, has to face his dad's "official" family.

now, gold had known that he was "illegitimate" for a while now. it was kind of impossible to ignore with golden's popularity. but he had never really processed it fully, it was sort of an unspoken thing that everyone in the household was aware everyone else knew, but no one wanted to mention it. as if by doing so it would suddenly become real and break the illusion of their "perfect" little family. but now he has to deal with the hard truth (and new trauma due to the car crash! yay!). he decides to try and "compensate" the heavy blow that his dad's reputation took for his, uh, existance, and decided to start helping around the company. he immediatly starts taking way too much work, because he feels guilty and wants to feel validated by his dad, to feel like he's also his "real" family, that he deserves to be called his son. and also because he never got that much attention from him anyways. he's now deathly afraid of losing his family, after almost losing his mom, so he tries his absolute best to be everything his dad wants and do everything he says. he was always kind of a pushover, because his dad was always emotionally distant and bareley showed up, but he had his mom around to compensate, but now that he feels he could lose her at any moment, that flaw skyrocketed in intensity.

that attitude also translates with the rest of the family, especially the cousins: golden, joy and jay. golden DOES NOT trust gold. he's convinced that gold started working in the company because he only wants the money, or the fame, or maybe the whole company (since gold would technically be before golden in the heritage, itd be much easier). but that's mostly his own trauma regarding feeling used for money by almost everyone he loves acting up. golden also dislikes gold bc he reminds him of the things he hates about himself, bending over backwards just to get affection from the old fart. soo yeah golden has issues and gold kind of embodies all of them (like a shadow. get it. haha.)

joy tries VERY hard to be nice to gold and seem accepting and like she's okay with all of this but she has very conflicting feelings. she always kind of idealized her grandpa, so knowing that he actually sucks is kind of driving her crazy (she is unaware of how much golden is fucked up bc honestly shes got fucked up in similar ways, having to appeal to her parents for affection and working her ass off as a maid basically, so it just seems normal). also, she feels iffy about gold, she doesn't distrust him like golden, she truly believes gold is just a normal kid, but she's VERY frustrated about the fact that he started working for the company just like that. she always wanted to work alongside her grandpa, she thought the company's ideals were lovely, but she was always shut off because she's a girl. so she explored her passion for music, which was encouraged, but only as a hobby, while golden got to make a succesful career out of it with the help of the family. and now this random kid who had never had ANYTHING to do with the company is working for it and being taught everything she wanted to know. it's completely unfair and it makes her seethe. but she knows its not gold's fault, and she keeps excusing her family, so she just hides it and hides it and tries to pretend she's okay with all of this.

jay is the only person who seems to be ok with gold. she loves attention and she hates being bored, so a sudden family scandal that gives them tons of media attention and makes all of her posts blow up is literally perfect for her. and it's all thanks to gold! she doesn't find him especially interesting as a person, but everything surrounding him is. and hes a total pushover! so she gets to make him carry her stuff, do things for her and crack jokes at his expense all she wants. she also just finds is funny that he's technically her uncle. gold knows that she's taking advantage of him, but he doesn't mind that much, because she at least doesnt hate him like golden and joy seem to do. and sometimes she's not an asshole, sometimes she genuinly enjoys his presence. let's just say that the bar is in hell

also. if i did things right u will probably tell that gold is fat, especially in comparison to the cousins. and thaaats because the golden family is actually naturally fat, but grandpa encouraged them to be thin to "protect them from the media". golden and jay have quite unhealthy habits, while joy just eats healthy and exercises, which is why she's not stick thin. since gold was never meant to be in the public eye he was allowed to just exist so hes a normal kid who doesnt give a fuck. other design notes, the broken arm and scars represents gold's face markings and completely black hand. and i gave him glasses because everyone gives him glasses and i think thats awesome

also uhh he becomes friends with the villains (who are the student council)nbecause owynn wants to get that golden family clout. gold joins the council as an assistant because hey! being useful! he's good at that and it may earn him a friendship. there he meets cami and they immediately recognize that they're similar. always doing what someone asks, always so serious, always calm and efficient, working towards their goal, never taking up space. soo they spends more time together (also bc gold is her assistant) and start leaning on each other. they become close. they also like that they're so blunt with everyone and each other, it makes conversation easier for them. and also they have a crush on each other because of course they do im PREDICTABLE.

uhhh idk if i have anything left to say if u read all of that hi. i love you

[sea-jello]

to my movie morro enjoyers yall got me curious so i did some research and tweaked the laws of youth criminal justice cause it's a movie about legos

WHOOH i expanded on this a lot and its not even all the options

uhhh should i tag the people who said they wanted to see my half ass ideas

@star-ocean-peahen @here4dragons i know hes TECHNICALLY not the villain here yet,, but its coming Soon. just ignore if you dont care SORRY BOUT THE TAG 💀💀

so morros role in the gang is he like collects intel n shit, scouts and/or recruits new members, makes plans and gives orders from the boss (preeminent) so hes sorta like the preeminents ambassador. general?? right hand man?? number 2?? something. occasionally he participates in very low key crimes where his face and identity could be hidden. never does anything big and flashy, so hes the least likely to get caught and thats one of the reasons hes so high up. the boss usually has a business to cover for the gang so the preeminent has a bar or a nightclub or something where they allow you to cover your face and morro works there to be like,, closer so its easy to recieve orders/info or something yk. when asked he says hes small for his age with a VERY obvious undertone and they leave it at that, cause so what if the nightclub is a little sketchy, goddamn this kid whips out drinks faster than anyone. hes very in the shadows undercover and thats why they couldnt catch him/had no evidence he was high ranking (i need a gang name help should it just be cursed realm?? cursed spirits maybe)

IF we want morro to just have general shenanigans with the ninja then hes on parole. if you dont know what parole is basically they let you out after 2/3rds of your sentence to let you integrate back into society or something, but youre still under supervision. so the timeline is morro starts his criminal activity at 14, gets caught and arrested at 16 and then gets released at 17. if youre worried about the 3 years in the above post trust me the logic checks out

they KNOW morros the criminal mastermind running shit behind the gang, they just cant find any way to prove it so he only gets sentenced for gang affiliation. he spends around a year or so in juvie and they let him out for the next 6 months

they let morro stay with wu cause hes like,, the head of the fucking ninja team he can handle himself, BUT he has to have security guards accompany him to school to keep an eye on him/watch for signs of him actually being highly involved in the gang. lloyd is real fucking embarrassed about it cause morro loves to come up and bother him, and it attracts even more unwanted whisperings about garmadons cousin who went to JAIL. morro bothers him even more because of it

no one knew morro was lloyds cousin, so when the ninja show up to the garage one day and find the fucking ex convict just chilling on lloyds mech theyre like ??? WHY ARE YOU HERE. they knew lloyd had a questionable cousin when he mentioned he got out of jail, but they didnt know it was HIM. like i said, morros infamous for being a mastermind escape artist (i kinda want to give him an alias so drop suggestions 👀👀) even better wu walks in and he goes "ah i see youve met my son morro!!" and the ninja go batshit cause wu had mentioned visiting his son in jail which already rose so many unanswered questions back then, but not THIS GUY

im debating on whether lloyd knows morro was a criminal during the three years or not. cause if he didnt know it would be really funny when morro/the gangs arrest was on the news and lloyd goes 👁👁 THATS MY FUCKING COUSIN. but if he DID know he sees him on the news and hes like "lmao get fucked wait till i tell uncle wu" (again,, drop the opinions)

wu knows he was a criminal pretty early on and absolutely does not give a shit cause movie wu is bat ass crazy and jaded to fuck. he sees morro on the news in his like gang getup and goes oh look at him go 😄😄 i hope he remembers to tuck in his feet like i taught him to 😄😄😄 morro was terrified when he got caught by wu, but all he did was lay out two hard rules. 1. no killing innocents and 2. no drugs. morros like ?? thats it?? and wu just sort of stares at him and goes ‘‘i believe so. now don’t you have somewhere to be?’’ and morros like yeah.. i got a bank to rob at 2. JUST TO BE CLEAR morro has NEVER ONCE KILLED ANYBODY just to be safe, even though wu was all for dismantling the dictatorship or patriarchy and whatnot. when morro gets arrested wu visits him just to laugh at him (im copy pasting most of this from tags from this post lmao)

wu absolutely makes morro train the ninja cause lets be honest theyre dogshit without the mechs. morros idea of training is jumping them all around the city at random times. he bullies them so hard jay is on the verge of tears every day

(thank you @l0on for so many of the ideas 😌😌 find them in the reblogs)

morros got the cool older cousin vibe who acts like he doesnt care and he actually doesnt care. idc what yall say he does NOT go easy on lloyd just because theyre cousins.

this is all set after the movie btw. morro only got away with so much for so long because everyone was occupied with garmadon

soo if we want him to be like the actual villain thats gonna be in another part cause god DAMN this got longer than i thought it would

[just-leon]

_MY STORY AS WONYOUNG SOLO STAN

Warning®️this is Fanfiction about wonyoung's stan life with toxic hate by wonyoung haters.The main character is hidden Hurt by wonyoung's hate train .As defender but human tho .this is Inspired of real story

Be careful my english is break 😭

As wony stan,i have litteraly grew up with Jang Wonyoung debuted as izone center and maknae in 2018.I will breaking the silence of my life is always active as wonyoung defender since 2018

She was casted by starship before become trainee during 1 year .She participed in the mnet survival show named produce 48 also win as centrr with ton massive hate when she was only aged 14 yo(break my soul😔),shame on especially the international fans were always nasty toward wonyoung during final pd48 .I remember for them" she was untalented and lack much as iz*one center.Now we can the karma hit them also the table turn wonyoung is it girl and get more popular....this is sak*ra miyawaki get critized as untalented and didnt trying changed luch in kpop industry

During izone,they were underestimed girl group among the western kpop stans *they have no chill for unnoticed elegant concept and flawless discography but lucky this wondeful gg was so popular in asia esp korea and japan . I remember The sakura stans cyberbullying wonyoung with evil edits like that was such absurd thing for teenager girl like we need forget she want just realised her Dreams and sacrifices as kpop idol .

In ive she debuted at 17 yo with ton pressure and overworked schedules,she get ton hate even she did bring popularity for the group with yujin,i feel the non wizones (*izone fanbase is wizone) judged her much .This is suspect when there are ton youtube vidéos for critized wonyoung as evil idol or pick me .She isn't the one chosed her outfits for stage or schedules. SHE IS EXPLOITED NO FAVORISED .

Thet forget Wonyoung work hard for getting her opportunities even her members were worried because she didnt complaint about her busy schedules as teen. SHE IS IS SO PROFESSIONNEL AND RESPECTFUL.she trying her best for stay calm even with hate train by kpop stans on social media especially tiktok and YouTube sometime Instagram comments ruined my Day.

She is ovelooked because her visuel and her company didnt trying showcase her talents .Girlie write ton bsides by ive moreover many producers praised her .She improveduch herself as person and artist.

She want changed the kpop industry without trying hard show off front camera.For win lawsuit against YouTuber sojang also after there re many kpop idols like bts aespa exo sue this YouTuber because her statitic. DONT FORGET SHE SPEAK UP ABOUT HYPERSCRUZATION TOWARD FEMALE IDOLS IN KPOP INDUSTRY AND SOCIETY AMONG MEDIA AT AGE 19 YEARS OLD YES MOTHER .

She is hidden humble and sweetheart like she love her fans much every times .

Her company don't deserve her at all they cant promoted wonyoung at all..Lucky vicky she promoted herself well with brands deals and wonyoung fanbase support her so well on social media with fan accounts.

I notice only online people critized wonyoung hum the fact the staffs and seniors love her much.Obvious her haters are insecure and jobless. There is reasons why jyp said wonyoung is idea kpop idol.

There are times,we can feeling she isn't okay while herself this is freaking sad, i hope the peace inside her beautiful soul. HER VIBE IS AMAZING and we need pay attention to wonyoung as wonyoung stans because she can get much enough off camera with mental or physical.

Sttarship sabotaged her so much like she need get better promotion in other agency.We need more variety show and new concepts for her because she said that in many magazines or interviews.I know kinda she was overworked with ive world tour yet she get only brands photoshoot or brands events.

I hope many kpop stans know wonyoung story since many them think she focus about her visuel..they dont think her Dreams job is lawyer and annoncer but never kpop idol at all.

[fruit-salad-ship]

The Royal AU got me thinking. Dragon Peach (can turn into a human form), Knight Grey and kidnapped Nobel Plum for the trio. The Dragon kidnaps the nobel of a very influential house and the brave knight is sent to save them. Turns out the Dragon "kidnapped" the Nobel because she was being forced into an arranged political marriage but has also started to like the tiny human.

I so wanted to draw more for this but im HELLA busy, someone remind me, or put an ask in my box or something idk. I'll circle back round to this because peach dragon slaps.

Certainly the people of the city feared the creature that dwelled in the swamps. It only showed itself from time to time, usually keeping to the distance, hunting wild deer, perhaps attacking caravans that strayed too close to its home, but for the most part, it kept to itself, filling its home with thick smog to fend off anything stupid enough to try to enter, theyd surely lose their way. MORE STORY BELOW.

There was a distinct joy in the realm, a brief moment of peace where people focused their attention on a regal wedding, speedily approaching, streets adorned with banners and galands, it was truly a spectacle. Everyone was excited, everyone that was, except the bride. She'd been keen to run her fathers buisness, perhaps grow the trade routes, focus on her work, instead being paired up with a man not more than 10 years her elder, another from a high society family. Despite her pleading, the young woman was fated to marry, and be a second seat to her husbands triumphs. No freedom of her own.

The wedding came around fast, every noble house attenting, a great cost, and quite frankly the worst day of the young womans life. She was doomed to an ordinary, subdued life with this. A shackle on her ankle in the shape of a middle aged man with nothing that even remotley interested her.

Walking down that isle in the finest gown money could buy made her want to turn and run until she couldnt anymore, it was as if the roar that shook the room suddenly was a...relief? It happened so fast, screams, the crashing of glass, a huge ornate window ahead being broken into a million pieces, the head of their local swamp dwelling dragon appearing in a glittering, smoke filled moment, the glowing pink from its neck as the smog filled the space, stinging lungs and eyes alike. The noble woman felt fear of course, but watching her husband to be get snapped in half by mighty jaws was quietly a small joy. Her legs didnt work, falling back to try to get away. Guards appeared, started shooting bolts at the beast but none even scratched the hide, their futile attempts brushed aside with one mighty sweep of its taloned paw.

The woman managed to crawl a fair distance away, thinking her efforts quite good, until that is, cold sharp digits stamped on the long train, stupid dress was her undoing, falling again. It scooped her up in a secure clawed grip, giving a bone shaking roar, before loosing a blast of gas, pinkish hue, filling the room. It turned, exited the window, and looked back, a different breath, this time of flame ignighting its previous move, the entire space going up in flames with a mighty rush of air.

As it flew off with great broad strides of its wings, the screams of terror and pain echoed, the young woman knew she'd never escape this, she'd be taken back to its lair and eaten for sure.

What followed was however quite the opposite. She watched the swamp come into view, her captors home where it landed on a solid little hill of dirt and shrubs. It gently put her down, her feet still refusing to work, legs jelly with every attempt to get up. It did not eat her, did not snap or roar, no thick fog escaped it's gils, it just sat and watched. After a while the woman managed to get to her feet, holding a falled tree for stability.

"W-What youre just toying with me then?!" her ferocity was amusing for a human, and the dragon shifted to lie down, closer to her head height somewhat. This of course spooked the mainden who tripped backwards on the long dress, every second passing it became more soggy and dirtied, the white quickly dimishing in the swamps.

The dragon used it's long tail to rummage in the shrubs around it, the clanking of metal as it pulled a human backpack, bits of human remains falling from it, nothing but bones. It dumped the items near the woman and waited, she didnt get the hint, starting to relaise this form perhaps wasn't the best for this job. It loathed being in it's puny human body, but seeing as this wasnt working, it had no choice.

The dragon shut its eyes and huffed, the smoke exhaled allowing it to shift from its huge battle ready body to something more familiar. The bride saw this happen, expecting to be eaten once again, but the smoke clears and she sees the towering form of a woman, easily 7ft, strong build, the gils on her neck still there, less obvious, eyes still very much draconic, horns present, but otherwise she was a battle scared adult woman with ridiculously long hair...completly naked. She shrieked, looked away withhot cheeks and tried to get up again. This was at least less intimidating...sort of.

"Human, take the gear and go. You're free to leave this place." What? She looked over, the dragon rummaging around to find a pretty tatty looking robe, throwing it on loosly. "Youre not going to eat me?" "Contrary to popular belief, not all dragons like to eat people. You dont exactly constitute a full meal to something our size." As she spoke the woman noticed the presence of a lot of very sharp teeth in her mouth, less daunted as she perched on a tree stump and wiggled her feet, mindlessly amused with the human form she was taking, more so than focusing on anything else. "Oh...but...why did you take me in the first place then?" The dragon shrugged, the mess of hair it had falling in unruly ways as it glanced over. "I could feel your misery a mile away. Figured i'd give you a second chance at living, you humans sure like to make choices that bring about a lousy quality of life. I rid you of the issue plaguing you, and now you can go wherever you like without concern for a useless partner." The woman though scared stepped closer, a single pace, then another. "But...why? You could have left it alone." why meddle in human affairs? The dragon had no need to.

"You do not recall me, and so theres no need to dwell on it. I owed you, and now I do not. a Debt repaid." This was news to her, she'd never seen this beast before, not to her recollection, instead of leaving, sitting beside her. "Remind me." The more time ticked by, the less scary this felt, other than her beastly apperance, she was just a large woman now, the bride could settle her nerves and try to make some sense of this. No longer a captor in her mind, her rescuer, this monster, looked to her with subtle surprise, one eyebrow raised.

"You were just a child. Your family crossed into the swamps to reach the city, pausing to rest your horses briefly. You wandered off into the fog, the other humans werent watching you, and you had no fear of this place." Peach ruminated on the memory, it felt like just the other day, but years clearly flew by since then, she'd not seen the child again since then, and now here she was, an adult. "I'd been defending my home from soldiers, but an arrow was lodged deep in my leg, couldnt get it out, had accepted to just live with it, wasn't that bad. But you came along and you were too small to feel afraid of me." Plum sat and tried to remeber, she must have been so young, her father told her the story of her getting lost here, but he didnt know what happened, no one did. Except this dragon, and now her again. "Well you got the arrow out after a lot of difficulty, so I sent you back to your people so you'd not get eaten here."

There was quiet, the two women sitting in the humid space, sounds of bugs all over, before the little noble laughed, shocking the dragon. "What?" "It's kind of fate, right?" Plum shuffled to face her companion and grinned, still amused by this all. "I'll stay with you! You must know so much, you could teach me, and when I go home, i'll be able to do so much more to help everyone!" The dragon couldnt register that set of words, ticking them over, expression thrown as the human took her hand, holding it gently, a feeling never experinced before, a soft touch. "uh-" "Good! It's settled then!" With gusto the little woman stood and went to the backpack, puling a rusted sword, using it to cut her ridiculous dress down to a managable length "This isnt a good idea, hey- lady" Plum was already briskly trotting over to the highest point, its ground solid and sturdy, behind her the towering woman keeping up with a casual pace. There was no talking her out of this it would seem.

Over the weeks the pair built a small shack, the dragon thieving supplies from others, merchant carts with fine things, farmhouses, the odd caravan of travellers, leaving gold as requested by her small human companion, a dumb but soft hearted addition to her looting. She complied, it kept her company happy. Plum had found great joy in the dragons company, they'd share stories by the fire, nothing feeling more freeing than not having hand maids on your heels, no fine dining or fancy dances, no corsets, no stupid shoes with pinched toes, just living humbly out in the swamps, with a monsterous creature. Then came the first ever chance to fly. The noble had ruined her clothes, working, exploring, living, and it was becoming an issue now, she needed some new gear, so her dragon companion, her large scaled body lowered down, let her climb up on her back, and off they went. Terrifying as it was, she knew it was safe, and soon the fear melted away. If she could, plum would never come down again, a true delight to be up there, where no one else goes. They raided a nobles estate away for the winter, and scarpered without them even noticing, a whole new wardrobe.

This peaceful company continued for a while, but nothing good lasts. Peach was taking a rest, huge dragon body splayed out in the sun that filtered through the swamp trees, content, while plum sat by her little home with a book, a calm moment. That peace was broken, a javellin came soaring through the air, in from the top, falling with skill and good aim directly into the body of the beast. Peach felt sharp pain, a stiff metal rod sinking below her tough scales, whipping up with a fierce roar, using one clawed hand to try to get it out of her neck, failing. Plum was with her in an instant, trying to get a grip on it but the blood slicked the metal, making it difficult to grasp. A gentle push with one clawed foot moved her out of the way to saftey, back by the house, Peach standing with a menacing sneer, hearing the footfall approaching.

A knight from the city stepped forward, his gear flawless despite the swamp, another javelin in hand, sword at the ready on his belt. Plum recognised the insignia, one of her fathers men, was he tasked to finding her? She was not sure yet, but had to stop this. She ran between the dragon and this man, shouting to him to stop, go no further, to which he obliged, shocked.

"Youre alive?!" his voice faltered a little, not daring to remove his helmet, eyes still on the dragon who was glaring daggers at him. He watched the noble woman turn to the monster and soothe it, a private word between the two of them that he didnt catch, and for now, the beast tucked its wings up a little and did not seem to attack. "Yes, im alive, and you should be ashamed of yourself! First thing you do it hurt her? Thats so rude!" Baffled, the man let his shoudlers slump a little, no longer prepped to throw a weapon or draw a blade, unable to look away from the beast. "Take your stupid helmet off!" demanded, the noble woman pulling rank, to which the knight reacted to, removing it with a hesitance. He was a strong looking guy, beard, long hair tied back, not too old.

"I...I was sent to get vengance...but youre alive." His head spun, no one had survived a dragon attack before, until now that was. "You need to apolagise to her right now! Get this stupid spear out, I cant-" Plums attempt again was futile, it was really lodged in there, and from the looks of things, it would stay that way, barbed at the end to prevent it from falling back out. "I can't, it'll eat me!" "Dont be so pig headed, she's in pain and you caused it, you'll get over here and fix this right now." The man, though terrified, had to follow orders, and so he dropped the spear and took a step closer. The dragon shot a menacing toothy snarl at him, forcing him to pause, before gathering strength and taking another step with a breath. Surely if it wanted him dead it'd have done so by now...right? he was in striking distance, finally by the side of the woman who kept trying to yank the weapon out, blood coating her clothes and arms. His strong grip took over, and he half expected to see the monster recoil in pain once removed. But as the javellin tore free, it didnt even skip a beat, one eye locked onto him fiercly, he could hear the rumble in its throat, a low growl of threat, body towering over where he stood, the pain not enough to even make it blink. Nothing shook its focus from him, clearly ready to strike if he so much as put a foot out of line. His hands were stripped of the weapon, plum throwing it into the shrubs, looking at him with displeasure.

"You can't tell my family i'm here." The knight looked to her with shock. "Dont you want to go home? The Swamps no place to live." and with that he watched the dragon sit back on its haunches and pick her up, a protective, careful, gentle hold, where she was able to sit in her arms, higher up than him and feel safe from this stranger. "I am home. You can either run to tell people and try to escape her-" Plum pointed to the dragon who would not be outran. "Or you can just go home and pretend like you didnt find us. Your choice."

The issue was that he was hired as a last hope, any before him had tried to hunt for this dragon and failed, the bogs were difficult to navigate, deadly at the best of times, and constantly shouded in heavy fog. Few made it home, and they got a flogging for not having results. Plums father grew impatient at their incompetence, and a few hires previous to him, they turned up empty handed and the next day were hanged for their failures. "I can't go back without either you, or proof that it's dead." he knew he'd be dead if he did. "It's not and 'it', it's a 'her'." corrected by the noble, he repeated. "Before she's dead." Truth be told he was fascinated with what he'd found. Everything he'd ever known about dragons deemed them nightmares of the sky, they brought death and destruction wherever they went, this one was supposedly no different. He'd never been this close to one and not been fighting for his life.

"Perhaps we can come to come kind of arrangement then." A sly grin came over the little womans features, and Grey knew she had a plan.Wether it was a good one or not, was yet to be decided.

[castlebyersafterdark]

Your Dream Mike / Dream Will scenario pieces are tender perfection and exactly what I have been looking for this entire time… a mix of empathy and realism and indulgence and unavoidable horniness, but also good storytelling, characterisation; this isnt smut, this is character study and inner psyche. I didnt find it sad until that final paragraph of will’s omfg </3

Overall it was so beautiful because it was so real. And how beautiful also is it that we all share these experiences in one way or another? It’s so human to discover your sexuality, whatever that may be. And almost every one of us does this magical discovery in secret and shame, no matter the gender or orientation. It’s the connection we feel when we reveal these vulnerabilities that makes coming of age and sex in storytelling so beautiful to me. I can’t believe others are out there who say this is disgusting. What you just wrote is so so wonderful. I was completely immersed. 

‘Everything's beautiful and no one dies.’ ohhhhhhh 

the attention to detail in mike’s??? This is what I mean when I say I wanna see into mike’s head for s5. Duffers, take note! I especially loved the very specifically gay confusion of ‘do I want him or do I want to be him?’ 

Then will with his own shape of internalised homophobia… experimenting with objects and we can feel how he’s ever so slightly further ahead in his journey, but the journey differs slightly from mike’s. Clothes disappearing = so accurate to dreamland, and the sudden switch to intrusive thoughts of mike being phobic right after his euphoria dies down? Damn <3 + the way his petty theft links to him talking about robbing the the casino in s4, these little truths that slip out cos he feels safe with mike to say them. 

I love the overall thing of ‘I dont know why or even how but I know I want’ cos that is teenage desire in a nutshell. The mystery is what makes sexuality so magical! Amazing work. I adore this. 

p.s. this has made me remember something I heard on a radio show when I was like 14, where the hosts were comedians talking about having saucy dreams about people. One expressed shame on seeing the object of desire in person again, but the other said ‘I enjoy it. It’s fun, you just look at them and think: you dont know what you were doing in my dream last night.’ And the casual/cheeky way he said it made me immediately so comfortable with fantasising about people I crushed on, it basically removed all the shame of fantasy at 14 and I started to see it as funny and silly and natural and lovely. Really grateful for that radio show! Ofc, actually doing stuff is a different kettle of fish… 

I'm really flattered that little drabble has resonated with people! Now I really want to carve out time in the future to develop something more refined and in depth.

I'm glad you mentioned something about character study vs smut and that's one thing I really like and I think the general fandom doesn't understand why some fans do like to talk more about these topics - it's just such a disservice when youre dealing with characters in certain storylines, ignoring or demeaning the actual sexual aspect of sexuality is so... wrong? It's in the name. We have two characters who are facing identity issues, attraction to others in a way society doesn't accept, growing up, learning about their own wants and desires. The straight characters are allowed this in the show. The gay ones shouldn't get pushed to the side for whatever reason that may be.

Do I and many others have fun talking and thinking about the fun, surface level spicy/horny aspects of shipping? Sex headcanons, little scenarios? Sure!! That's fun, that's human nature. But on the flip side, it's because we also love the characters and spending time mentally developing how they got there is also very good and compelling and super important.

And back to stuff you pointed out, ooooh yes, one of the aspects I think is an important detail for their journey: 'do I want him or do I want to be him?’ This is everything. It's so so formative for a lot of people!! Speaking from experience, absolutely. Honestly, a lot of that little writing exercise was spoken from experience.

But that's what it's like for a lot of people! And it's interesting to analyze characters this way, inject the reality. Yes we love Mike and Will and yes we recognize they are gay and we want them to get together... hey fandom, how did they both get there?? Why does it matter to you? What do you all think is happening in Mike's head when you like to allude to wanting to peek into the tangle of his brain - what are you actually expecting to find? It's gonna be some vein of what I wrote if you believe he's a teenager facing a struggle with his identity and sexuality. It's just that I see a lot of fans skimming a puddle as to why they even care about these boys getting into a relationship. What's happening in their rich inner lives, which because they are fictional we must as fans think about and create ourselves.

Love your anecdote about the radio show, yes to that x100!!! That's it right there!!!

[badgerotter]

i cant take it anymore i need to post my ice cold takes on tumblr.com (sorry for ruining everyone's fun in advance, and no hate to topher fans!!)

topher's popularity is so interesting to me. its my theory that he kept his fanbase because of how the episodes were released with week long gaps between them. of course, everyone thought topher was goofy in the first two episodes. hell even i did, with my most popular post atm being the one where i made a joke about the pride flag in his room that aged very poorly. his cult following only grew as the episodes went on, and by the time episode 8 released, it SHOULD'VE been a dealbreaker. however, people were already so attached to him that it didnt make much of an impact, only really serving to make more people step back and realize how ridiculous topher's popularity has become in the grand scheme of things. hell, the finale didn't help with its very brief addressal of the blackmailing situation.

of course, there's always gonna be some racism involved. i saw a few posts a few days after episode 8 addressing how the fandom always wants to gravitate towards the white guys instead of the canon poc wlw couple. to be clear, i do not disagree with this. as sad as it is, racism and misogyny and things like that are all deeply woven into society and definitely won't be leaving anytime soon, no matter how much people realize how wrong it is. of course, it's probably statistically a fact that there is at least one topher fan who is racist. there are also very likely people who like topher more because of hidden racism that they themselves do not realize or think about.

that being said, i think my earlier theory about topher's carried popularity is a sound reason for why people want to redeem him so much, why people want to uwu-ify the pasty guy, why people want to make the woke straight ally be hopelessly in love with another man. i haven't seen anyone propose this before, but recently i was thinking about why topher is still so popular. while it could definitely play a sizeable contributing factor, i don't think racism is the main reason for topher's popularity. i think it's more of a bandwagon of fanon content that snowballed into topher's giant, unstoppable fandom.

i didn't make this to try and refute the racism claim. i find it justified and valid. but i mainly made this post because i wanted to share my thoughts, ones that i haven't seen said anywhere (on tumblr at least, i basically only use it and youtube nowadays). just wanted to throw my two cents in. that being said, i do think topher is a bit of a goober, but it's kind of a bad look if you choose to ignore the events of episode 8. all in all, if you're a topher fan, keep doing that! unless you're actually racist about it, it's fine to like topher, even if it's because of the fanon content (hell, it's probably better to obsess over fanon topher at this point). i literally did the same thing with van gogh back when i was obsessed with the og show in 2021, even though it was more as a joke since i also found van gogh's popularity funny. expect a post on that later btw, i have SO MUCH to say about fanon van gogh that i've kept bottled up for two years. anyway, topher fans keep slaying if you aren't hurting anyone. i only made this after an indirect reality check i had after reading a khalopatra fanfiction that made me think about canon vs fanon a lot

[spacialshrimp]

[♡]My little child who isn't so small[♡]

Part 9

Warning: Interspecies racism

-----------------------------

Years have passed since the succesful birth of experiment 6052,he showed a natural tenderness for others, or maybe just maybe was the fact of growing up in a secured envirioment, he was never schoolarized at the lab, mostly because according to Doctor Louve, he needed to socialize outside, it was necesary, so, the leaders of the proyect and with help of the goverment , created birth documents for 6052, giving him the name of "Daniel Junior Dzhek Nickson", and they stated in the documents that Doctor Daniel Nickson, was his father, and legal tutor, at the age of five , they would start living together , Daniel was told to not get attached to the experiment, he didnt obeyed and soon enough , 6052 was matriculated in school.

So that way his schoolar life would start at 6 years old in the school "Elementary school the Jaguars", he saw many species, but it didnt took him long to realize the main population consisted in humans, he saw very few others specimens like; Mh'in's , D'mœ's , Zw'eho's, etc.

He didnt saw anyone like him, but he was always told that since Yautjas where more energetic, they where on different kinds of schools.

His kind nature, made him quite easier to make friends, Ma'hek ka"hu, was his first friend, this was a slender kid with fur and floppy looking ears, curly hair and crocked teeth, his little fangs made them look like a vampire.

And his second friend was Chloe, who in that time was a small chubby little girl with really short hair, with time she would let it grow, since Ma'hek said "your hair is really pretty, i wonder if it gets bigger".

You would think that because of his kind nature, 6052 was particurlarly shy and not very sociable, well youre quite wrong, he is the kind of guy with that charming personality that if he wants to, can be the king of the party.

Daniel, was thinking about that one saturday evening, he was at home in his office organizing some documents, leaving everything ready for 6052's monthly medical revision.

The door of the office was open, his now 1.70 cm 16 years old son was there.

His hair long and braided, dressed with a dark green sport hoddie of his team and some shorts.

He was carrying his sport bag.

-"Hey mum, im leaving to the practice, i promise i will call you when im on my way home, bye love you!"-

As 6052 left the house to go practice Daniel shouted "Love you too" back and "Don't forget your entry card!".

Daniel couldnt help but chuckle as his gaze landed on a photo of Daniel Junior (6052) with his friends after obtaining second place on the Selective of Volleyball but even so they got to the finale.

They where so tired that time but so proud and he was proud too.

Western High was a good place, well it was the only public school in town the other two stablishments where private.

Daniel tought of how time practically flew out of his hands, and now the little creature he used to hold in his arms its now a teen boy to heavy for him to give him a piggy ride.

He thought about himself ¿was he being a good father? Somethimes he wondered if he was doing enough for his son.

He never denied him his other origin, and in fact at times Daniel junior had holo-calls with the donor used to give him life, a yautja male of 350 kg of pure muscle almost 230 cm tall called Knife, it was an ancient yautja, with many scars around his body, leader and supervisor of chivas, but even so 6052 was more made for human life, thats what knife communicated to daniel one time, he said "the boy, its too compationate for a hunter".

Daniel at times thought about those words, he didnt knew if it was bad or good, and if it was bad ¿was his fault? He has been too sweet? He has given him too much?.

When he commented his preocupations to his colleague Emily lee, she said "you have raised a good boy a healthy boy, a respectful and fuctional member of society, i belive you've done well", he also thought about those words while still sitting on his desk, at his office at home, those words ...he wondered if they where true, or if she was just trying to reassure him.

His mind wandered thinking in the past, a past he always tries to pretend it dosent exist, a past he tries to hide in a dark corner of his brain like if it was just a bad dream.

And the fact that acronym was still in his mind didn't helped him.

Those Letters "A.R.P" wich stands for "Alien Relocation Program", were fresh in his mind, he wasn't the kind of person who hated easily, but that name, made his blood boil and frezze at the same time, out of fear and rage, he remembered watching on live news when he was young, the places where the just arrived aliens lived, a marginal place, dirty, full of crime, he didn't understood why they where living there, if they had so much better tecnology, in his young brain it made no sense why they where living there, and why did "A.R.P" sent them there, ¿did they do something wrong?, he didn't knew.

One time he remembered asking his father "dad ¿why are the aliens in there?"

His father only gave him another of those spechs of how the aliens do not belong here on earth, how they where a pest.

"They come here only to cause harm"

His father said.

But to his restless mind that did not answer his question, he wanted to know why, he wanted to understand why , when he walked with his parents to the center to buy things, there where stores that didn't allowed "no humans" inside, he wanted to know why.

But no mattered how much he asked his questions where always answered with the same vague response of "they will only cause harm".

Eventually he stopped asking, he was young, nine years old in a world recovering from a global pandemic, going through two different wars at the same time on Asia and the middle east, and adapting to the arrival of extraterrestial's.

But he still wondered if it was necessary to hate, one day, when daniel was still young, he was riding his bicicle, and ride past two police officers acting with exesive force towards a Mh'in's, the Mh'in was clearly confused and scared , he despertaly wanted to help, but he felt way too scared to face the two adults alone, and just kept his way.

That moment, lives on his memory, one of his biggest regret's, was not helping him, he regret's every night of that, because he knows that if he wasn't around and his son was being harmed he would like someone to help him, to tend a hand on him.

He suddenly came back to reality, looked at the clock, 6:30 pm, 6052 must have already finished his practice.

¿Did he called to tell him?

Daniel, checked his holo-pad, and there it was, daniel jr. Did called, 3 times.

Daniel felt terrible, he was so lost in his memories he lost track of time and ignored the calls of his son.

He was about to return the call, when the access beep of the main door rang, and his son ran through it, desperately calling for him.

-"mom?! Mom?! Are you here?!"-

-"i'm here what happend?!"-

Daniel said answering to his son desperated calls.

-" oh thank's heavens...its just, well you always pick my calls or return my calls inmediatly, so..i got scared..."

6052 said while he catched his breath in relief.

Daniel walked towards his son and hugged him.

-"i'm sorry"-

He said felling terrible for scaring his son like that.

Daniel jr returned the hug -"it's okay mom, im just happy you're fine"-

Daniel then to change the subject said -"i will order pizza for dinner, i don't feel like cooking today, go shower, and then you tell everything about today"-

He said with a smile.

Junior. Smiled back and noded vigurosly.

He went shower and Daniel went to order the pizza.

-------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for taking so long, my assigments have been really time consuming but i'll try to post more frecuently, take care.

[abidethetempest]

Rise and Fall Ch 1 Retrospective

I've been wanting to do little behind the scenes style posts for my fics for EVER, and now i finally have a platform to do it >:D prepare to be subjected to my ramblings!!!! (link to the fic btw)

long ass post below the cut:

General Notes:

chapter 1 of any fic for me is both very fun and very nervewracking. writing the start of a project that I've been brainstorming for a long time can go one of two ways: i have All The Ideas right away and it comes out in one session, or i spend 600 years agonizing abt my ~vision~ and making sure everything is perfect. this fic was decidely the second. part of this is because im a big dumb idiot and planned everything except the opening for literal years. it took me probably 3 months just to get thru the intro stuff and feel like it was good enough to move on, let alone post.

Stuff I Cut:

unfortunately, there is actually a lot more i wish i could have included, but didn't for the sake of pacing. i wanted this section to include more of Risen's time alone on the road, her isolation from post-collapse society, and her deeply held guilt abt her role and self-percieved failures as a Lightbearer. i'd love to write some one-shots or little scenes about it! I wish we got to see more of what it would be like for a Lightbearer in the dark age that didnt want to be a Warlord, since timeline-wise we don't really see the emergence of the modern Guardian archetype until the Iron Lords or the early Titan orders. We hear abt it some from Drifter, but he is understandably reticent to speak on his past so we don't get much. Risen as a character feels very strongly about her purpose as the "Traveler's warrior", something that will be touched on next chapter, but she struggles to reconcile who she wants to be with the reality around her. The aftermath of this gets explored as time goes on, but i do want to revisit her very early days of life as a new light someday.

The Sanctuary:

the mission that Risen and Ghost are on at the beginning of this fic is,,,,, entirely made up by me, it's not from canon or remotely related to anything in the lore (as far as i know, at least). They're chasing rumors, driven by Risen's desperation for someplace to find a family and a purpose, and by Ghost's desire to keep Risen away from danger. I just needed a reason for them to be on the move.

The Town:

The town scene is... *sigh*. I struggled with it a lot. In part because it, AGAIN, was not something i had ever planned for until i actually sat down to write. I needed a scene to show Risen's desire to be a protector of others conflicting with her current modus operandi. I still feel like it's too on the nose when she talks to Ghost at the inn but sometimes you just gotta spell it out i think. Her reaction after running came out as I wanted, though. While running away to fight another day might be the logical choice, Risen definitely is the type to carry her guilt with her forever even if it was the "right decision". Risen:

I LOVE Ghost as a character. I want more Ghosts that are flawed, angry, hurt. More Ghosts who are afraid maybe none of the fighting and death is worth it. More Ghosts who go thru just as much development as their Guardians, please. I find it interesting that, as the first contact a Guardian has and their constant companion, a Ghost has a big influence over their Guardian's early development, and I want to see it explored more how they could push their Guardian down one path or another.

Warlords:

In case anyone is wondering, the Warlords in this fic are entirely OCs. The destiny timeline already gives me hives, I am NOT abt to try and find some canon characters to use in this fic when I can just.... make them myself. Warlords are such cool concepts! I want more lore about them (and the Dark Age in general).

I think thats all I have for now! Thanks for reading (assuming anyone is reading these lol)

[goblinhoursinsomniaramblings]

sup

so implied parentage is absolutely my jam. i know im way late to the party but let me yell some things about it

-first of all if we add in that Vlad carried their destabilized cores for any length of time and grew some bodies for them you have a whole shit ton of things people could get very perplexed about. after all, Vlad could be very easily misunderstood if he mentions it took literal days to bring them into the world (emergency backup body growth) or bitching about how protective Danny got when he learned Vlad was having to do such things.

-conversely, if danny was the one to hold the cores, vlad could easily imply danny was isolated so vlad was the only option to deliver them. combined with the kids just showing up one day, and their ages--not great implications there.

-redeemed vlad is hugely driven to make amends after AGIT, and hey, look at that! He was a monster to Ellie and Dan had vivid memories of parental loss! Time to make amends by being parental as fuck!

-Vlad becomes capable of bitchslapping people with the power of love.

-he and danny have a falling out when Danny doesnt believe hes redeemed himself. Things are said, things are done, so on, so forth, Danny tries to be a superhero to give them both some space while he tries to figure out how to make up for that, Vlad focuses on early childhood with his kids

-they meet at the aforementioned gala, it's the start of them talking again.

-they give the STRONGEST 'messy divorce after kids didnt fix the marriage' vibes the waynes have ever witnessed

-which. this is gotham high society. that's a bar so high finding an actual top contender is pretty hard to even attempt.

-and these jerks are gold medaling it

-actually meeting the kids just makes it worse. They look just like Danny.

-concept: to the waynes and the JL, all the actual relevant ghost stuff is off screen. they don't see danny going to vlad about his powers plateauing and wanting to work more in the infinite realms, and using vlad's portal to do it, and that forming the basis for common ground they can communicate over for the sake of long-term goals and negotiation without having to fight each other, including the raising of the kids. none of the cloning stuff and danny personally almost seeing ellie die as a result of vlad's actions pre-de-aging is even hinted at.

-no, what they get is danny and vlad using actual couples' therapy communication shit and being Obsessively mindful of their kids, and danny's address shifting to vlad's since danny is using his portal to reach his actual new home and danny didnt want to list the seething infinite roil of realities as his home address.

-to danny and vlad? totally platonic co-parenting situation they're working on for two kids they care a shocking amount about.

-to outsiders? no. no that is not platonic.

-to the family of investigators who have experience with the powers of life and death?there aren't enough red flags on the planet to accurately convey the implications of the facts.

I only ever see Danny with deaged Ellie and Dan but I want to see Vlad having to raise Ellie and Dan, the absolute chaos. As far as anyone who knows why is concerned he has not had a single girlfriend or significant other since probably High School. then all of a sudden he comes around with two kids.  the idea would work with redeemed Vlad quite well. Danny would still be involved but he would be busy with school whether that be college or High School depending on the time. 

I had a dc x dp idea for this

Danny is friends with one of the bat family members and gets invited to the Wayne Gala that Vlad is also invited to. I imagine this with redeemed Vlad so when the two of them see each other it's snarky but not a physical confrontation. The people overhearing don't think anything of it until Danny asks about Ellie and Dan. The person who overhears doesn't really think anything of it after they find out it's Vlad's kids but when Danny mentions them as his kid too it gets very concerning. I always see this idea with Danny very obviously being a single parent but I want to see chill co-parenting between two of them but if you get any context it becomes very concerning.