#its free food just take it

[fruit-salad-ship]

The Royal AU got me thinking. Dragon Peach (can turn into a human form), Knight Grey and kidnapped Nobel Plum for the trio. The Dragon kidnaps the nobel of a very influential house and the brave knight is sent to save them. Turns out the Dragon "kidnapped" the Nobel because she was being forced into an arranged political marriage but has also started to like the tiny human.

I so wanted to draw more for this but im HELLA busy, someone remind me, or put an ask in my box or something idk. I'll circle back round to this because peach dragon slaps.

Certainly the people of the city feared the creature that dwelled in the swamps. It only showed itself from time to time, usually keeping to the distance, hunting wild deer, perhaps attacking caravans that strayed too close to its home, but for the most part, it kept to itself, filling its home with thick smog to fend off anything stupid enough to try to enter, theyd surely lose their way. MORE STORY BELOW.

There was a distinct joy in the realm, a brief moment of peace where people focused their attention on a regal wedding, speedily approaching, streets adorned with banners and galands, it was truly a spectacle. Everyone was excited, everyone that was, except the bride. She'd been keen to run her fathers buisness, perhaps grow the trade routes, focus on her work, instead being paired up with a man not more than 10 years her elder, another from a high society family. Despite her pleading, the young woman was fated to marry, and be a second seat to her husbands triumphs. No freedom of her own.

The wedding came around fast, every noble house attenting, a great cost, and quite frankly the worst day of the young womans life. She was doomed to an ordinary, subdued life with this. A shackle on her ankle in the shape of a middle aged man with nothing that even remotley interested her.

Walking down that isle in the finest gown money could buy made her want to turn and run until she couldnt anymore, it was as if the roar that shook the room suddenly was a...relief? It happened so fast, screams, the crashing of glass, a huge ornate window ahead being broken into a million pieces, the head of their local swamp dwelling dragon appearing in a glittering, smoke filled moment, the glowing pink from its neck as the smog filled the space, stinging lungs and eyes alike. The noble woman felt fear of course, but watching her husband to be get snapped in half by mighty jaws was quietly a small joy. Her legs didnt work, falling back to try to get away. Guards appeared, started shooting bolts at the beast but none even scratched the hide, their futile attempts brushed aside with one mighty sweep of its taloned paw.

The woman managed to crawl a fair distance away, thinking her efforts quite good, until that is, cold sharp digits stamped on the long train, stupid dress was her undoing, falling again. It scooped her up in a secure clawed grip, giving a bone shaking roar, before loosing a blast of gas, pinkish hue, filling the room. It turned, exited the window, and looked back, a different breath, this time of flame ignighting its previous move, the entire space going up in flames with a mighty rush of air.

As it flew off with great broad strides of its wings, the screams of terror and pain echoed, the young woman knew she'd never escape this, she'd be taken back to its lair and eaten for sure.

What followed was however quite the opposite. She watched the swamp come into view, her captors home where it landed on a solid little hill of dirt and shrubs. It gently put her down, her feet still refusing to work, legs jelly with every attempt to get up. It did not eat her, did not snap or roar, no thick fog escaped it's gils, it just sat and watched. After a while the woman managed to get to her feet, holding a falled tree for stability.

"W-What youre just toying with me then?!" her ferocity was amusing for a human, and the dragon shifted to lie down, closer to her head height somewhat. This of course spooked the mainden who tripped backwards on the long dress, every second passing it became more soggy and dirtied, the white quickly dimishing in the swamps.

The dragon used it's long tail to rummage in the shrubs around it, the clanking of metal as it pulled a human backpack, bits of human remains falling from it, nothing but bones. It dumped the items near the woman and waited, she didnt get the hint, starting to relaise this form perhaps wasn't the best for this job. It loathed being in it's puny human body, but seeing as this wasnt working, it had no choice.

The dragon shut its eyes and huffed, the smoke exhaled allowing it to shift from its huge battle ready body to something more familiar. The bride saw this happen, expecting to be eaten once again, but the smoke clears and she sees the towering form of a woman, easily 7ft, strong build, the gils on her neck still there, less obvious, eyes still very much draconic, horns present, but otherwise she was a battle scared adult woman with ridiculously long hair...completly naked. She shrieked, looked away withhot cheeks and tried to get up again. This was at least less intimidating...sort of.

"Human, take the gear and go. You're free to leave this place." What? She looked over, the dragon rummaging around to find a pretty tatty looking robe, throwing it on loosly. "Youre not going to eat me?" "Contrary to popular belief, not all dragons like to eat people. You dont exactly constitute a full meal to something our size." As she spoke the woman noticed the presence of a lot of very sharp teeth in her mouth, less daunted as she perched on a tree stump and wiggled her feet, mindlessly amused with the human form she was taking, more so than focusing on anything else. "Oh...but...why did you take me in the first place then?" The dragon shrugged, the mess of hair it had falling in unruly ways as it glanced over. "I could feel your misery a mile away. Figured i'd give you a second chance at living, you humans sure like to make choices that bring about a lousy quality of life. I rid you of the issue plaguing you, and now you can go wherever you like without concern for a useless partner." The woman though scared stepped closer, a single pace, then another. "But...why? You could have left it alone." why meddle in human affairs? The dragon had no need to.

"You do not recall me, and so theres no need to dwell on it. I owed you, and now I do not. a Debt repaid." This was news to her, she'd never seen this beast before, not to her recollection, instead of leaving, sitting beside her. "Remind me." The more time ticked by, the less scary this felt, other than her beastly apperance, she was just a large woman now, the bride could settle her nerves and try to make some sense of this. No longer a captor in her mind, her rescuer, this monster, looked to her with subtle surprise, one eyebrow raised.

"You were just a child. Your family crossed into the swamps to reach the city, pausing to rest your horses briefly. You wandered off into the fog, the other humans werent watching you, and you had no fear of this place." Peach ruminated on the memory, it felt like just the other day, but years clearly flew by since then, she'd not seen the child again since then, and now here she was, an adult. "I'd been defending my home from soldiers, but an arrow was lodged deep in my leg, couldnt get it out, had accepted to just live with it, wasn't that bad. But you came along and you were too small to feel afraid of me." Plum sat and tried to remeber, she must have been so young, her father told her the story of her getting lost here, but he didnt know what happened, no one did. Except this dragon, and now her again. "Well you got the arrow out after a lot of difficulty, so I sent you back to your people so you'd not get eaten here."

There was quiet, the two women sitting in the humid space, sounds of bugs all over, before the little noble laughed, shocking the dragon. "What?" "It's kind of fate, right?" Plum shuffled to face her companion and grinned, still amused by this all. "I'll stay with you! You must know so much, you could teach me, and when I go home, i'll be able to do so much more to help everyone!" The dragon couldnt register that set of words, ticking them over, expression thrown as the human took her hand, holding it gently, a feeling never experinced before, a soft touch. "uh-" "Good! It's settled then!" With gusto the little woman stood and went to the backpack, puling a rusted sword, using it to cut her ridiculous dress down to a managable length "This isnt a good idea, hey- lady" Plum was already briskly trotting over to the highest point, its ground solid and sturdy, behind her the towering woman keeping up with a casual pace. There was no talking her out of this it would seem.

Over the weeks the pair built a small shack, the dragon thieving supplies from others, merchant carts with fine things, farmhouses, the odd caravan of travellers, leaving gold as requested by her small human companion, a dumb but soft hearted addition to her looting. She complied, it kept her company happy. Plum had found great joy in the dragons company, they'd share stories by the fire, nothing feeling more freeing than not having hand maids on your heels, no fine dining or fancy dances, no corsets, no stupid shoes with pinched toes, just living humbly out in the swamps, with a monsterous creature. Then came the first ever chance to fly. The noble had ruined her clothes, working, exploring, living, and it was becoming an issue now, she needed some new gear, so her dragon companion, her large scaled body lowered down, let her climb up on her back, and off they went. Terrifying as it was, she knew it was safe, and soon the fear melted away. If she could, plum would never come down again, a true delight to be up there, where no one else goes. They raided a nobles estate away for the winter, and scarpered without them even noticing, a whole new wardrobe.

This peaceful company continued for a while, but nothing good lasts. Peach was taking a rest, huge dragon body splayed out in the sun that filtered through the swamp trees, content, while plum sat by her little home with a book, a calm moment. That peace was broken, a javellin came soaring through the air, in from the top, falling with skill and good aim directly into the body of the beast. Peach felt sharp pain, a stiff metal rod sinking below her tough scales, whipping up with a fierce roar, using one clawed hand to try to get it out of her neck, failing. Plum was with her in an instant, trying to get a grip on it but the blood slicked the metal, making it difficult to grasp. A gentle push with one clawed foot moved her out of the way to saftey, back by the house, Peach standing with a menacing sneer, hearing the footfall approaching.

A knight from the city stepped forward, his gear flawless despite the swamp, another javelin in hand, sword at the ready on his belt. Plum recognised the insignia, one of her fathers men, was he tasked to finding her? She was not sure yet, but had to stop this. She ran between the dragon and this man, shouting to him to stop, go no further, to which he obliged, shocked.

"Youre alive?!" his voice faltered a little, not daring to remove his helmet, eyes still on the dragon who was glaring daggers at him. He watched the noble woman turn to the monster and soothe it, a private word between the two of them that he didnt catch, and for now, the beast tucked its wings up a little and did not seem to attack. "Yes, im alive, and you should be ashamed of yourself! First thing you do it hurt her? Thats so rude!" Baffled, the man let his shoudlers slump a little, no longer prepped to throw a weapon or draw a blade, unable to look away from the beast. "Take your stupid helmet off!" demanded, the noble woman pulling rank, to which the knight reacted to, removing it with a hesitance. He was a strong looking guy, beard, long hair tied back, not too old.

"I...I was sent to get vengance...but youre alive." His head spun, no one had survived a dragon attack before, until now that was. "You need to apolagise to her right now! Get this stupid spear out, I cant-" Plums attempt again was futile, it was really lodged in there, and from the looks of things, it would stay that way, barbed at the end to prevent it from falling back out. "I can't, it'll eat me!" "Dont be so pig headed, she's in pain and you caused it, you'll get over here and fix this right now." The man, though terrified, had to follow orders, and so he dropped the spear and took a step closer. The dragon shot a menacing toothy snarl at him, forcing him to pause, before gathering strength and taking another step with a breath. Surely if it wanted him dead it'd have done so by now...right? he was in striking distance, finally by the side of the woman who kept trying to yank the weapon out, blood coating her clothes and arms. His strong grip took over, and he half expected to see the monster recoil in pain once removed. But as the javellin tore free, it didnt even skip a beat, one eye locked onto him fiercly, he could hear the rumble in its throat, a low growl of threat, body towering over where he stood, the pain not enough to even make it blink. Nothing shook its focus from him, clearly ready to strike if he so much as put a foot out of line. His hands were stripped of the weapon, plum throwing it into the shrubs, looking at him with displeasure.

"You can't tell my family i'm here." The knight looked to her with shock. "Dont you want to go home? The Swamps no place to live." and with that he watched the dragon sit back on its haunches and pick her up, a protective, careful, gentle hold, where she was able to sit in her arms, higher up than him and feel safe from this stranger. "I am home. You can either run to tell people and try to escape her-" Plum pointed to the dragon who would not be outran. "Or you can just go home and pretend like you didnt find us. Your choice."

The issue was that he was hired as a last hope, any before him had tried to hunt for this dragon and failed, the bogs were difficult to navigate, deadly at the best of times, and constantly shouded in heavy fog. Few made it home, and they got a flogging for not having results. Plums father grew impatient at their incompetence, and a few hires previous to him, they turned up empty handed and the next day were hanged for their failures. "I can't go back without either you, or proof that it's dead." he knew he'd be dead if he did. "It's not and 'it', it's a 'her'." corrected by the noble, he repeated. "Before she's dead." Truth be told he was fascinated with what he'd found. Everything he'd ever known about dragons deemed them nightmares of the sky, they brought death and destruction wherever they went, this one was supposedly no different. He'd never been this close to one and not been fighting for his life.

"Perhaps we can come to come kind of arrangement then." A sly grin came over the little womans features, and Grey knew she had a plan.Wether it was a good one or not, was yet to be decided.

[sreegs]

gently picking up and bringing the fruit flies over to the lovely apple cider vinegar and dish soap bath i made them

[undermine-the-instinct]

And thus im gone

[1zashreena1]

People without food allergies really don't get it huh

[fefairys]

yo what the fuck

[musubiki]

tcwg boardwalk/fair day but taffy works as one of the carnies (he didn’t think they’d show up)

this is so lore accurate but for oscar instead of taffy 😭 oscar is the one who is always working weird odd jobs in random places that seem to change every week !! (which is how he ended up with madam springs in the first place)

i think taffy is the type to take those weird gross out-of-sight jobs that no one wants to do....cleaning grime out from under the docks or something, the kind of job where he wouldnt be around people..

[cthulhusstepmom]

Soap's Da had a saying, "There's two types of snake keepers, those that have been bitten and those that are lying bastards". And John "Soap" MacTavish is many things but a liar isn't one of them... Unless you count making any and every possible excuse to avoid letting Ghost into his room. But does that really count?

A liar he is not but stupid he definitely may be. Intellectually he knows that Wee Man is getting big enough that he shouldn't be free handling him without a spotter, it'd been one of the first things his parents had drilled into his head before he was allowed to even think about getting out the bigger snakes. and intellectually of course he realizes that he probably ought to have a spotter for feeding time too. But Wee Man is so sweet and really he's not that big. So now he's here, with a 7 1/2 foot python latched onto his arm and the stupid fucking rat dangling from the stupid fucking tongs, thankfully it's a frozen thawed otherwise it'd be even more of a shit show.

He's next to certain the snake nicked a vein or something with the amount of blood starting to pool on his cement floor. Fuck.

His head is starting to get a wee bit fuzzy and the arm Wee Man has is well past pins and needles when he remembers what he needs to do, and realizes that he's just been standing there bleeding out like a clueless bawbag. He grabs the handle of Vodka he keeps for any number of emergencies and quickly splashes some over the snake's head, cursing none to quietly at the burn in his punctures. Wee Man drops his wrist like he's been burned, tearing back with as much of a confused expression as a snake can make. Soap tosses the rat into the python's cage and fumbles for a minute before he manages to work his arm free of the slackening coils, pushing Wee Man in after it. Slamming the door near hard enough to shatter it he's left standing in the tiny walkway he's left for himself: tongs in one hand, vodka in the other; blood dripping from his wrist, and a brain fuzzy enough to make into a down comforter.

The rational part of his brain would have him check into medical with a convenient fib, but blood loss does silly things to a man, like making him laugh at terrible jokes and flirt shamelessly with his stunning superior officer.

"Johnny?" Wide brown eyes peer down at him through a crooked balaclava.

So it really isn't much of a surprise when he finds himself swaying in front of Ghost's door, clutching his wrist as he leaves a trail of crimson splotches down the hallway. He's trying to wrap his brain around the concept of knocking when the door in front of him eases open.

"Allo Lt, lovely night we're having. Could ah ask ye a favor?"

[fiftysevenacademics]

Tomatoes my wife grew and basil that I grew (cheese and olive oil we bought at the store)

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

What the food pantry on campus does:

- gives me snacks and drinks to supplement my regular groceries, breakfast stuff, maybe ingredients for 1-2 actual meals

What the food pantry is really bad at doing:

- giving me food I can make into proper meals for the week

Oh you want juice? Here’s 2 little juice boxes. Nothing else; they’re limited. You want pasta sauce? 1 can; limited. You want produce? 2 produce item limit, except for the apples which are starting to spoil. You can have all of those. You want frozen chicken? One container only. Oh, they’re all stuck together and frozen? Sorry, you can’t have two; no chicken, I guess. Pasta? One box only. Rice? Two small bags, max. Breakfast bars? Yeahhhh, those are a snack, and you can only have five snacks, total. But if you put those pop tarts back, you could have some! Oh, you want donuts instead? Sure! But that’s a bakery item, and you can only have one baked good, so you’re gonna need to put that bread back. You want ziploc bags? Here, have two. Not two boxes, two bags. Item limits. Sorry. You can come back next week!

How the fuck are people supposed to actually *use* these things for weekly meal planning if there’s not enough to last a week???

I swear I am grateful for these resources I’m sure they’re doing the best they can with what they have I’m just *frustrated*. I’m trying to spend less on groceries bc I can’t really afford them. It’s nice that the food pantry gives me these small portions to last me a couple days. But that still leaves several days with not enough food unless I’m really creative or go grocery shopping, and I simply do not have the energy or time to be really creative.

[hauntingblue]

Try not to make fights between two women look homoerotic challenge level impossible

[autisticlee]

I hate when someone vents about things they struggle with, and someone replies "be grateful for/focus on the things you have" yeah I get it. but that doesn't cancel out things you DONT have but need. it doesn't make your needs that arent being met just go away or suddenly be met!

[caffeinatedopossum]

I complained a lot about the side effects from my anxiety meds but they've genuinely changed my life in the best way. I'm talking to friends again, I'm playing video games, I'm not having panic attacks about dying every single night... genuinely wish I had this years ago

[fluffypotatey]

Eu chose the worst time to confess, haha but even early on Ody was like, I can't have you planting seeds of doubt. https://www.tumblr.com/raointean/755046669275611136 Anyways, this post, heh. Scylla was the only real monster to Ody eh, she's not in Monster. Try not to black out again reading that word Fluffy. Her and Ody are the same you say. “Keep your head down, he’s aiming for the torches!” Yeah :) :) :)

TrY nOt tO bLAckOuT fLuFFY

bitch 🫠 you know what you’re doing (also that link was uncalled for ;-;)

Scylla was the only real monster to Ody because she is Ody. they are one in the same. both monster are here only to survive and get what they want. they care for one thing that is self-sufficient for them and them only (for Scylla, it’s sustenance. for Ody, it’s making it to Penelope and his son) they won’t let anything stop them from achieving it

if Ody were to try and fight Scylla, there’s a high likelihood that he would lose many men in the battle but he would still make it. the cost however would be far greater than he would want. however, by leaving 6 men for her to feast on, then Scylla leaves them alone satisfied and the likelihood of leaving with a greater benefit is higher. he will still have 36 men left and that seemed to be logical enough for Mr. Man-Made Monster Odysseus

“Eurylochus, light up six torches,” he orders

and Eurylochus obeys without question. then watches in horror as the six (or five of you include him in the six) men he gave the torches to are eaten by Scylla’s many heads. he stares at Odysseus for answers but sees only a blank expression, one of finality, and Eurylochus wonders if this is how it felt when Medusa was punished by the god she blindly devoted her life to. blindly trusted even when doubt bled through. even when he acted against his captain. even when he blindly loved his captain

but he is just a man. and so is Odysseus. but Odysseus, the man with all the answers and plans and cunning, could not find a better alternative here— or did he no longer want to? Eurylochus, who always found his doubts proven wrong now watches them play out in front of him and watches what the true cost of following his captain always meant

[terrorbirb]

:((((((((( boss didn't buy me lunch like they normally do on people's last day. Commence absolute minimal effort to finish out this job.

[sleepyagent]

I want someone to love me quietly and loudly at the same time because Im an idiot

[hawkeyedflame]

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