#afraid of vulnerability

[margonite-seer]

I don't know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I'd like to.

I used the photomode mod to take a look at Astarion's love confession scene. Normally, the camera is focused on Tav when choosing what to say.

These are the expressions Astarion is making off-screen while you are hovering over dialogue options.

[turtletoria]

the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid

[alaynestone]

rare sightings of dean's pretty armpits over 15 seasons of spn aka what you follow this blog for!

[booasaur]

Special Ops: Lioness - 1x07

[thesophistiicate]

i have such mixed feelings about the idea of “moving in privacy”. i think there are seasons for it (certainly your late 20s/saturn return you will probably desire retreat for a while, or any time you feel uncertain). at the same time, moving in public with a thoughtful personal brand can be an incredible, powerful, and easy way to bring connection and opportunities to you. sometimes i think all this “disappear and move in privacy” talk is just a symptom of poor boundaries and rebranding the fear of being vulnerable… but if you can figure out boundaries and overcome the fear of actually being recognised for your gifts and strengths, well, the world is literally your oyster.

[meidui]

so confused when people hate miss agent margaret carter because what do you have against a woman with big beautiful brown eyes who pummels people with her entire body weight

[fun-esta]

[ohitslen]

Promises

He should know better. 

Wolfwood has seen Vash make promises, or hear about the ones he has made in the past. He has also seen the end of each one and how every single time the outcome is less than what was promised. 

Vash likes to say embellished words, with a soft and determined voice that lures you into his hopes and dreams, it almost feels like a spell, as if he was calling for you to come closer and believe him. But Wolfwood knows better.

He believes in him, but Vash is much closer to being an idealistic dreamer than a realistic person like he is. He might not be aware of it, but his beautiful promises of a better future give people hope, a hope that is usually embraced with things like disappointment and abandonment. 

He doesn’t think that Vash does it with the intent of looking for any of those things. Far from it, he might even do the impossible in order to accomplish said promises, but life is too short and humans are too mortal for his wishes, so in the end, most of Vash’s promises end up being empty or they come to haunt him as a reminder of his failed vows. He admires the man, for his perseverance and idealism, but he also hates the man, for his stubbornness and lies. 

Wolfwood knows all of this perfectly to a tee. And yet, he has also found himself being drawn to his world. Because he also dreams of it.

A world in where his always present calls for love and peace exist, a world that is far more kind than what he might deserve, a world in where the kids can be happy and roam around without any worry in their heads, a world in where he can peacefully turn grey with age and his hands can shed the harsh callouses of his life. Who knows, maybe a world in where he and Vash can finally know the peace that was taken away from them, in where they can share the calmness that comes with the passage of time, indulging in every tick of the clock welcoming with open arms whatever comes their way without any fear.

It is a beautiful promise. But Wolfwood is a person that has to keep his feet on the ground, indulging in “what ifs” would only make things harder than what they had to be. He can’t have any ifs if he can’t make it through the now. And by the way he is carrying his present, he is doubtful he will even get to see a shed of that promised world that Vash tries to drag him into. So why mourn something he doesn’t even have, or will ever have for that matter.

He hates the way Vash seems to promise things so easily. His tongue silky and pliant, slipping divine words one after the other, promises way too big for what that barren world can actually fit. 

But when Vash talks to him in that holy voice of his, when he hears him say “It’s okay, everything will be alright, I promise” so gently right on his ear, while he holds his face so tenderly making him focus on him and nothing else, he wants to believe him.

He has seen the end of his promises. He knows how impossible they are. But for once, he wants to believe it too. Believe in that loving world that will cradle them both until they fall asleep, listening to the soft sound of the wind laughing while the moons smile upon them. 

So he allows himself to indulge in the warmth of his palms, leaning into the comfort of his existence, feeling the soft air of Vash’s breaths against his skin while their foreheads meet in a touch that feels like a hot brand that will melt him.

For an instant, he allows himself to be selfish and believe that maybe, that is how living in that world Vash so desperately fights for would be. Soft and warm, making him feel safe in the hollow of Vash’s hands where the world seems to fit so well. A world where the blue sky is a blanket that covers the love and care that is nestled in it like the one in Vash’s eyes. He wants to see that world.

For now, he will selfishly think that the world that fits in Vash’s hands is right there in where he is holding him, where his blue eyes are drowning in the light of the sunset dripping with love and care while looking at him, that the gentle touch of Vash’s thumb wiping his tears is the same as the kiss of that laughing wind in that distant future, where the smile of his eyes overcomes the smile of the moons.

He should know better. But he loves the thought of that world. And he hopes that Vash will get to see that world, because that gentle sight is more fitting for someone like him than the one of his violent world.

He promises to himself that he will do what it takes for that day to be possible. Even if the end of that promise will be empty for Nicholas, he knows it will be a full one for Vash. So it really isn’t that empty for him after all.

He hates his lies, and he hates how true they sound, but Vash’s embellished words are far sweeter than his bitter thoughts so they feel better on his insides, almost like a balm that cares for the wounds of his throbbing, painful reality.

He should know better.

But aren’t humans weak at the promise of love?

[smallmightsupremacy]

NEW KACCHAN CONTENT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

[captainkirkk]

I'm now on season 2 of my Natsume Yujinchou rewatch, and I love seeing the marked difference in the way Natsume is treated.

In season 1, we get a very withdrawn, very fake Natsume - quiet, smiling pleasantly but clearly looking right through people, apologising for taking up space. People like him right away but don't know how to breach that distance. But towards the end of season 1/ into season 2, we see people understanding Natsume more and more and deciding to close that distance by reaching out to him with affection. We see them teaching Natsume how to be loved.

We also get more people recognising and seeing straight through Natsume's bullshit, ESPECIALLY Nyanko-sensei.

Natsume: "My temperature is a little over 37 degrees."

Nyanko-sensei: "You should rest then."

Natsume: "I took some medicine. I should be fine if I don't do much. I don't want to worry Touko-san."

Nyanko-sensei: "Geez, how long will it take you to realise?"

Natsume, entirely oblivious to just how much he's loved and wanted: "...Realise what?"

[neon-ufo]

October 2023

I turned 30 on October 13th

I've felt like my recent art has been lacking something personal, and I feel a strange distance from most of my works, it's something that's been bringing me down a lot lately.

I feel like I hit a wall, and I need to break a hole through it so that I can emerge as something new on the other side.

Big Challenges

Album of the month: - Song of the month: Moon River by Audrey Hepburn

[cowboy-caboodles]

I present to you: hypochondriac jack

[da-janela-lateral]

And You and I

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

[electric-friend]

I swear that for a moment after Ed asked for more oomph from the declaration and Stede gave him that, Ed's brain went funny in a gay way.

[mugsy]

Hey so I couldn’t stop thinking about that one interaction between Dr Retro and Pest,