#HES NOT AFRAID TO SHOW HIS EMOTIONS ANYMORE AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM FOR THAT

[smallmightsupremacy]

NEW KACCHAN CONTENT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

[rainydayrina]

A little fic based off the SWD transphobia claims because i think they're wrong.

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Shi wudu had always been a proud man. His image itself had an aura of respectability about it and he was rather happy to wave around his athority like a fan.

So when his disapproving gaze met shi qingxuan's altered form at a festival, most chalked it up to pride and reputation. Having your brother running around in womens court robes certainly wasnt a casual event for a man like him, surely it was a matter of imagine, and he was happy to let them all believe that. after all, a cracked vase is filled with gold, and this vase had certainly cracked.

But the truth was, had anyone else decided to fumble around with their gender, he wouldn't have batted an eye at all, this innate disgust he held was not of humiliation but of concern.

His darling brother, the one he had spent his life protecting, the one he sacrificed for, the one he spent countless hours learning to braid and style feminine hair for, just to keep him disguised and out of harms way.

His brother spent most of his mortal life wrapped up in women's clothes solely for the sake of survival and to shi wudu, these were chain and he could no longer bear to watch his brother drag around the chains of his old life.

"Qingxuan, we need to talk" his voice holds a deep authority, something he couldn't help

Deep in within the confined walls of temple FengShui, lies a storm, both water and wind are needed to form such a thing. Yelling and dancing around the issue in an intricate waltz, one they had done before, neither side wanting to give in and show their golden cracks. It goes like this every time and with nothing settles, old scars only rub to make new wounds.

He couldn't understand, he couldn't bear it, he couldn't make sense of any other reason Qingxuan would do this and finally thr truth came pouring out and the vase was broken.

"Qingxuan! You DONT have to keep doing this!" A fit of rage, a fit of failure because he feared he had. A man of his position didnt have the luxury to cry and still you could hear in his voice the welling in his eyes."Are you scared still? You don't have to be scared anymore..." his voice was raw and wavering"Ge took care of it..... you dont have to be afraid or hid anymore, Ge fixed it all, youre safe now... Qingxuan, youre safe now"

A soft hand hand on his brothers face, the hand of a mother, of someone who raised kin, who has bleed for someone and starved for someone and given their life for someone

And now it was Qingxuan's turn to not understand. Had their brother really thought that's what this was all about, hiding? They felt frustrated and weak by the idea that this was only a way to cope, it was far more."GE, I LIKE THIS!!"

They shout, trying to burn it in wudu's brain "This is real..... its me, and for once in my life im not afraid anymore. I know im safe, i know ive been saved.... Ge, i do it because i like it, because im not one thing anymore." They spill out a jumble of emotions, teary and soul bare"Im both.... and im neither and im everything and im just ME!"

They softly look up to meet their brother's gaze, expecting that scolding look they'd seen so many times, only to immediately be caught up in an embrace.

Qingxuan had hardly ever been hugged. As a child, she was kept at arms length, cared for physically but not always emotionally. She always felt unsatisfied. And by the time they reached the heaven's, shi wudu had a reputation and couldn't hold him anymore.

Qingxuan was the type to clung to anyone who showed them attention but this was different, with their face buried deep into Ge's shoulder and hot tears on the silk robes, their soft voice broke the silence.

"Ge.... do you still love me??"And the water tyrant only pulled him closer, petting their hair

"You're the only thing i love" he murmurs "the only thing i care about and the only thats important. Ill sacrifice everything for you again and again" "but dont let that get to your head, okay"

The soft sounds of laugher and the room is flooded with warmth "Qingxuan, if you want to..... be a woman sometimes, its okay with me, just promise two things, the first is that you'll tell me if anything is wrong" he speaks gently Qingxuan nods, that was an easy promise, when things got tough, they couldnt help but talk anout it

"And the second?"

"DON'T EVER, and i mean EVER, let pei ming flirt with you"

A break of silent....

"Ewwwww!! Geeee!" Pulling back to playfully shove him"Like I'd ever, im not interested in someone who is ⅓ tumour....." they whine but they laugh all the same.

And the vase is lined with gold.

[renren-006]

Imagine: the boys comforting you about your ex

Characters: Bucky and Steve

❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃❃

Bucky:

The two of you were out at a coffee shop near your college campus. Bucky insisted on meeting you in between classes so he could see you before he left for another mission with the others. You were just chatting over coffee when you heard the door jingle, looking up automatically your eyes met your ex. Even though you were with Bucky, everything flooded back in that moment. You had seen him on campus but you both never looked at each other at the same time. You always kept your eyes low and ignored him but now, you couldn't avoid it. He was the first to look away. It hurt a bit that you cant read him anymore, I couldn't even tell what he was thinking. What was more confusing was why he was there, he hated coffee so why was he here. You didn't even want to know the answer, afraid he might be there for some girl. 

Bucky noticed your shift in attitude and looked where your eyes were locked. 

“Iv got to go” you told Bucky. “Im sorry”

 Of course, Bucky knew exactly who he was without you even having to say anything. He could see your face, read yours, and know there was bad blood between the two of you. You got up and left, leaving Bucky to follow and shoot daggers at your ex. Before you got to the door, you took one last glance and found him looking back. Bucky put his hand on your shoulder. 

“Come on Doll” you let him usher you out the coffee shop. When you got outside, you could finally breath again.You both moved away from the coffee shop.  

“Hey, it's okay,” Bucky told you as he wrapped his arms around you, letting you cry a bit into his shoulder. It wasn't that you were crying because you still loved him, it was the emotion of knowing he saw you, looked at you, and still dared to leave you months ago after everything. “He's an asshole Doll, he doesn't deserve you” “I know,  but at one point I thought he did. James…when does this pain end for good?” You asked looking up at him. 

“At some point it will,” he told you. All you can do is keep moving forward.” You nodded your head.

Steve:

Steve had always been your rock, even before the breakup with you ex. You always relied on him to help feel better. When the breakup was still fresh he was there for you, and still months later you knew he would be still. Both of you had your traumas from relationships and would haves. Steve never made you feel bad for talking about him or the feelings you were having, it was never something you had to worry about. So when your ex showed up in a dream, and everything reminded you of him through the day you knew who to go to. 

Steve was sitting at his desk, filling out paperwork from the last mission. You felt like breaking down the moment your eyes met his, he was up in an instant.

“What happened love?” He asked, holding you close.

“After all these months it can all come rushing back in a moment all because of a stupid dream,” you told him, “I just want to be done with these feelings for good”

“I know,” Steve said, holding you as you finally let your emotions crash over you. “These things take time and no one can tell you how soon to get over it”

“But what about feeling like you never will recover from it all?”

“Then just remember that better things are coming your way and he was never someone that could give you those good things. You have to move forward regardless of the feelings that still hurt you”

“Your good at giving speeches, but steve you suck at cheering somoen up”

“I'm trying my best here love,” he told you. “He hurt you, no one that says they love you would do that”

“It still haunts me” you told him, “but im doing my best to move on”

“I know, and I'm proud of you for that” Steve whispered, “Moving on is hard and you are doing it, regardless of how you feel today, or tomorrow, it's for the future you”

[roonilwazlibimagines]

hi im reg anon to elaborate that reg was in a relationship with an innocent muggleborn and he felt as if he was better than ber (internalized blood purity) and he slowly falls in love with her

Ok I will give you a few ideas about my plan if I were to make this into a series or just something a bit longer - also didn’t realise how long this would be,,, oops

I feel like the reader would either have to be in ravenclaw or hufflepuff - but that isn’t something that really matters

And maybe they’re paired up to do an assignment together in like their sixth year - which is also the year that he got the dark mark 

And you’re just trying to make conversation with him, but he keeps just giving you nods or just not replying because he knows you are a muggleborn and is kinda upset that he has to be paired with you

But you just keep talking to him - just innocently trying to make small talk

And maybe you even talk to him outside of class and he is literally just in shock because he really doesn’t understand why he thinks you’re worthy to talk to him

And maybe it is in front of all the other Slytherins who are sniggering and he tells you to go away and probably calls you a mudblood and you’re just kinda in shock because you had been so nice to him and this was how he spoke to you?

So then the next lesson when you are working on your assignment you’ve barely said a word to him and for some reason that really annoys him and he asks if you’re really not going to speak to him and you just look at him and he rolls his eyes

And the following lessons are the same but Regulus doesn’t really try to make anything better because he has better thoughts than his muggleborn potions partner 

But sometimes he has to talk to you and he doesn’t know why but there is a weird feeling in his tummy whenever he talks to you and you just look up at him with the saddest eyes and their is faint pout forming on your lips 

And then maybe because they have been like this it is making it hard for them to do their assignment so they have to meet up outside of class and they go to the library and she is still not talking to him - and neither is really him to her, but Regulus always gets good marks and he isn’t going to let a stupid muggleborn stop this

So he kinda has a little rant to you about it and says that you have just got to get over it because it is both of your grades and he isn’t going to fail because of you

But this only makes you more upset and you’re trying to act like everything is fine but Regulus can hear the little quiver in your voice and you’re still hunched in your chair

And then if we want smut,, this would be when he grabs your face in his hands and (if we want mean dom Regulus he would say you were pathetic lowkey) if it was soft dom Regulus he would tell you that he has a way to make you feel better

And you’re just in shock because he hates you and he isn’t really sure why he wants to do it but maybe it is just because he is really tired and the lightings really low and he kinda just wants to let out his anger at the whole situation because he hates that he feels this way because he is a death eater

But if this was smut, it would literally just be him torturing you because even though he was proud to be a death eater he still wasn’t going to go showing you his dark mark, mainly because he didn’t want you to tell others but also because he thought it would upset you,,, because apparently it was easy for him to upset you

And if this was smut it would be very rough and Regulus would just be mocking you and overstimulating you

If it wasn’t then he would just kinda apologise to you

But anyways, the next lesson it was surprisingly the most awkward it had been because he neither of you really knew what to say to each other

And he would tell you to meet him in the Room of Requirement that night 

He would go on another rant about how you are just a stupid muggleborn and he really doesn’t know why he finds you so interesting but he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you and if it was smut he would fuck you but if it wasn’t you would just talk

But either way there were a lot of angry vibes coming from him because he really hated how weak you made him

And you two would keep meeting up but he would act like you didn’t exist whenever he saw you, especially now that the project was over

And you really didn’t know what was going to happen with him but he kept asking to meet up with you and (I’m thinking that this works best if it is smut) each time it was basically like a hate fuck but like he was really good at it and you knew that you probably deserved better but no one had ever fucked you like he had and you were more than happy to keep going back to him

But he would always make sure that his dark mark was covered

And then there would be a chapter about you finding out that he was a dark mark,, it was probably during sexy time and by accident and this would be the point where you have a big fight and you’re crying and Regulus is actually showing some other emotion besides anger and hatred and he is holding onto your arm and begging you to stay but you don’t

And he keeps making eye contact with you but you keep looking away because you’re actually kinda scared now because you know death eaters are killing muggle borns

And he would probably send you letters (because I feel like the Blacks are very old school and love old romance) and little gifts and you would receive them every morning but you would just throw them out and if you weren’t afraid to look at him you would see his face fall every time you did so 

But anyways, one day he would literally pull you into an empty classroom and you’re freaking out because who knows what he is going to do to you he is trying to calm you down and tell you that he isn’t going to hurt you and you’re kinda just frozen on the spot

But he has another little rant at you about how he realises now that he kinda actually liked spending time with you and you don’t believe a word he is saying and you’re also trying to tell him that he just liked you for the sex but he swears that it isn’t and he gets all dramatic about it and is like I would literally take veritaserum to prove this to you

So you start to believe him but then he is like okay cool but we can’t tell anyone

And that makes you really upset because what is the point of taking things further with someone if they’re embarrassed to be seen with you 

And to make things dramatic you probably storm off again but Regulus really can’t be public with you because they would probably kill you

Maybe we could add a scene where you are talking to Sirius and he gets really fucking jealous 

But he is literally plagued by the thought of you which is a real issue because during the break between sixth and seventh year he is obviously working with Voldemort and the rest of the death eaters who all love occlumency and is desperately reading up on how to stop it so they don’t know you’re thinking of you

And then maybe someone - like Snape or something - idk like maybe they’re practising because they were probably like at least acquaintances considering they were both death eaters

And Snape is really good at it and of course he sees you and he knows who you are and he warns Regulus that he can’t be seen with you otherwise both of you will probably die and Regulus gets really defensive and probably says that you were just a good fuck to him or something

But then he regrets it immediately and he is sending letters to you but you don’t reply to him

So anyways now you are in your last year and it seems you and Regulus are always near each other and you keep trying not to look at each other

But you both really miss each other and this time it is you who breaks and sends him a letter and you meet up at the room of requirement but neither of you really know what to say so you just have sex but this time it isn’t as rough 

And afterwards Regulus is asking if you got his letters and you say you did and he asks why you didn’t reply and you don’t really know where you’re getting this confidence from but you’re telling him that you didn’t want to and leaving it at that because you don’t owe him an explanation

And there is an underlying understanding that you both won’t work out together, but you guys keep meeting to fuck 

And you would have a lot of heart to hearts, like he would tell you about his family and how he became a death eater and everything

And maybe just for dramas sake there is a moment where some of his Slytherin friends are like threatening you because you’re a muggleborn and then he comes over and he is about to help them but then he realises it is you and freezes and he says that you’re not worth their time and your heart is literally about to explode because it isn’t fair that this is your situation

But after that you’re never the one to initiate anything because it is probably better that you distance yourself from him because there is literally a war about to happen and you’re both on opposing sides

And fucking him just isn’t the same anymore but there isn’t much longer until the year finishes and you don’t really know what’s going to happen when school finishes so you just let whatever happens happens

But then like a few weeks before school finishes Regulus is asking to meet you but this time it is just to talk about what will happen and you decide that you’re going to call it off because it really won’t work

But he gets really angry at that and you end up having a massive fight and you’re both seething but it really settles the matter and for those last few weeks of school you both are just glaring and sneering at the other

But we aren’t finished,,, because then one day you’re just like chilling and suddenly Regulus has apparated to your house and you’re so confused and mean Regulus would make a comeback and he has just finished a death eater meeting (because I have a request for this specific scenario and it would just fit so well) and you’re literally brought back to the time where he first fucked you and he was really rough

But then he kinda just gets ready to go straight away and you get angry because you’re like you can’t just come here to fuck me and then leave and he sorta just replies watch me and apparates

And you’re so angry,,, but then like a week later he apparates back again and you’re yelling at him and telling him if he thinks he is just going to be able to use you then he is pathetic but he is telling you to shut up because he has news

And he is telling you that he found out how to defeat Voldemort and you really don’t believe him at first but then he tells you what happened and suddenly all your anger is vanished because all you can think of is that you might finally get the chance to be with him, properly

So you’re encouraging him and you guys probably fuck as a celebration and then there is a really sweet goodbye 

And it would end with you finding out that he died and literally being so heartbroken

[kn1feinthec0ffee]

love me love me (say that you love me) - spencer reid

spencer reid x fem!reader

title from lovefool by the cardigans 

summary: after a close brush with death in the field, y/n visits an injured spencer in the hospital to have a heart to heart.

warnings: a lil bit of angst, fluff bc im incapable of writing pure angst, descriptions of injury

word count: 1,987 

notes: this is my submission for @veraiconcos​‘ fic writer challenge, i spent a super long time on this and i really hope you guys enjoy it as its one of my favorite things i’ve ever written ☺️

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settling in to what would be another evening of unfortunate, unwanted solitude due to your boyfriend having yet another late night at work, you stretched out across the sofa, wine glass in hand, ready to relax after a hard day’s work.

that was until your phone began to ring and vibrate obnoxiously across the wooden coffee table.

“jj? hi, what’s up?” you inquired, curious as to why she was calling you during a case.

“we got the guy, but spence wasn’t so lucky.” she began hesitantly. “he almost got shot, but he was stabbed a few times.”

she heard your stifled gasp through the speaker, cutting you off before you would inevitably begin rambling off questions, a habit of spencer’s you’d acquired after a long while of knowing him. “don’t worry, he keeps telling everyone he’s fine. doctor says the wounds might scar, but overall he should be alright.”

you scrunched your eyes closed, willing your racing heart to slow with the news that spencer would be okay. despite jj’s calming tone and the relatively good news from the call, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling that your boyfriend was not, in fact, okay.

“thanks, babe. would you mind telling me where you guys are? am i allowed to come visit?” your voice took on a hopeful tone that your hands betrayed, anxiously twirling a loose strand of hair that had fallen out of your bun.

“visiting hours ended a little while ago, but i’m sure i can pull a few strings for you.” your chest deflated with a relieved sigh at the thought of having visual confirmation spencer would be fine. “i just texted you the address, see you soon, y/n.”

“you too. bye,” the phone dropped onto the table with a hollow clatter. you downed what little was left in your wine glass before standing up from the sofa to get ready. you still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was up with spencer so you put in an extra bit of effort to wear some of his favorite pieces of clothing of yours, just to bring a smile to his face.

———————————————

after receiving special clearance from jj at the front desk, you headed down the hallway. you never liked hospitals; you found something about about the stark white, sterile halls cold and off putting.

the door slowly opened, a gentle creak emanating from its well-used hinges. you had hoped your entrance would be quiet enough to let the boy wonder rest, but alas, he had woken up.

though the way his irises glistened in the artificial light when he saw you was just as gratifying.

“y/n, what are you doing here?” the interrogative sounded less like a question and more like an exclamation of awe, but you weren’t complaining.

“what, you didn’t think i’d show up when a little birdie told me my boyfriend was stabbed on duty? some girlfriend i’d be,” you scoffed sarcastically.

the plastic legs of the chair skidded across the linoleum as you dragged it next to the bed. spencer held out a hand towards you to hold, a sure fire sign something was wrong.

he loved affection, especially from you, but he only seemed to initiate it on blue moons.

you gratefully slipped your fingers in between his and gave them a quick, reassuring squeeze. “what happened, hon?”

his amber hues flicked to several spots around the relatively uninteresting room before landing on your intertwined digits. “we raided his apartment just like we usually do and i happened to be the first one to come across him. i saw he had a gun and i’m lucky i ducked pretty quickly or else i might not even be here at all.

“morgan and i moved in on him to make the arrest, but it slipped our minds that the profile said he was hyper-vigilant and paranoid, and i failed to notice knife he had in his other hand and he stabbed me a few times before emily pulled him away from me.” spencer recalled with an expertise that came as a surprise to absolutely no one who knew him.

“you say that like you’re reciting a poem,” you frowned, rubbing a thumb across his knuckles. “you could’ve died, spence.”

“i guess it’s just not that big of a deal to me?” he seemed to question his own statement as it passed through his lips. “i think i’ve grown so accustomed to putting my life on the line that i just doesn’t even faze me anymore.”

“i get it, but don’t you ever - i don’t know - get worried you won’t come back to me one of these days?” you averted your eyes to the floor.

his grip on your hand tightened exponentially, causing your gaze to snap up to his. “of course i do, i worry about you all the time. isn’t it normal to worry about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

his admission of love brought heat to your cheeks and tears to your eyes. “good, good, i’m glad we both agree on that then.” you smiled sadly.

the presence of an oddly heavy silence weighed down on both of you as you sat in thought. “do you ever get tired, y/n?” the genius queried quietly, elaborating when he noticed the confusion etched across your features. “i mean - well - tired of me? of my life being on the line every time i go to work? of thinking that maybe that time you said goodbye to me when i left would be the last time? doesn’t that exhaust you?”

this was exactly what you had been anticipating since jj called. the drawn-out periods of unusual silence, less eye contact than normal, the anxious fidgeting. not that you’d tell him, but you’d subtly began subconsciously profiling as well. 

  “if you’re asking if i get tired of those things, then yes, i do,” you murmured softly. “but if you’re asking if being with you while i have to deal with all those things is exhausting, then my answer is no. absolutely not.”

another pause. spencer played with your fingers, fiddling around with the ring he’d bought for you as fond memories swirled through his mind. “wouldn’t it be easier if you were with someone else? i don’t know, maybe someone with an average career where they don’t look at dead bodies and arrest serial killers all the time? maybe a barista or something less traumatizing than what i do?”

your lips curled up into a smile as you giggled. “yeah, i mean, of course that’d be easier, but when has life ever been easy? and besides, why would i want a barista when i could have a badass, genius iq level guy like you?”

he grinned, holding eye contact for the longest period of time since you passed through the door. “i think those attributes directly contradict each other, but whatever makes you happy, love.” 

the tension had lifted, conversation flowing with ease, yet you could still tell there was something off about reid. something left unspoken.

“hey,” you murmured, brushing a stray strand of hair out of his face. “you sure you’re alright?”

a moment of hesitation flickered through his eyes before he answered. “of course i am. didn’t i say i was?”

“you did, but you don’t have the best track record when it comes to being honest about your emotions.” you watched several emotions pass through his eyes - one of his tells; those hazel hues could be read like a book.

he seemed to take a deep, collective inhale before he spoke in a small voice. “i know you said you weren’t tired of me, but i’m just scared you’re lying. n-not that i think you would ever be untruthful,” he immediately corrected himself upon understanding how his words could be perceived.

“i-” tears brimmed his coffee colored optics, terrifying you for what he might say next. “you’re the most important thing in my life- in the world even- and i’m just worried you’ll leave me. i’ll come home one night when you’ve decided you’ve had enough of this life and you have all your bags packed, ready to leave. i don’t want to lose you. i can’t lose you.”

noticing a few drops had landing on your lap, you realized you’d been crying as he admitted his insecurities to you. “i love you so much, spencer. more than anything in the world. and i know how hard it is to quiet those voices, and i know whatever i say will only be enough to quell them for a while, but you’re everything to me. just know i would never, ever even dream of leaving you.”

you sniffled, wiping the tear tracks from your face when you looked over to spencer. he held eye contact with you, something you knew was challenging for him to do.

“y/n,” he moved a hand to cup your cheek. “if i asked you to stay, would you?”

you let his words sink in and nodded nearly imperceptibly. you laid a kiss on his palm before turning to him again. “absolutely. i am wholly and completely devoted to you, spencer reid.”

his cheeks burned and his brows furrowed, almost as if he was having trouble accepting your straightforward answer. “do you promise?”

you debated a sarcastic response, but you were unsure what his reaction might be in such a vulnerable state, and you didn’t want to find out.

“i do, my love.” you murmured, crossing your pinky with his. he settled, visibly, too, at your admission of adoration. you knew he struggled with fully trusting those around him and you were immeasurably proud of him in this moment.

“are you heading home?” his soft lilt broke the silence that had blanketed the room with its persistent presence. “i wouldn’t blame you if you were.”

“are you kidding? after all that rom-com sappiness you think i want to leave?” you both laughed, basking in the positivity of the moment. “i’m afraid you’re stuck with me. look, i even brought a change of clothes and everything.”

while you loved the adorable look of surprise on his face, you almost wished you could wipe away any doubts he may harbor in his mind about you and your unwavering loyalty. you looked up at him again as he spoke. “are you going to sleep in that chair?”

“i’d lay with you, but you’ve got wounds everywhere and no way in hell am i risking re-opening anything that’s been sealed.” you held your hands up in mock defense, earning a chuckle from the doctor.

“you could, um, put your head on my chest,” his cheeks tinted pink. “i love it when you do that.” you planted a quick kiss on his cheekbone before pressing a longer one to his lips.

every time your lips met, as cliched as it was, it felt like the first again. not in every way, they were missing the same awkward teeth clashing and spit swapping as the original, but you could almost feel every ounce of passion jolting all the way through your being. and most assuredly, spencer reciprocated your feelings as he chased your lips every single time they made to retreat from his.

you pulled the chair as close to the hospital bed as you could and rested your head on his chest. the lyrical, constant beat of spencer’s lulled you to sleep, creating a symphony just for you.

before your eyes closed, you intertwined spencer’s fingers with yours, prompting him to look down at you. “i’ve got promises to keep, and miles to go before i sleep.”

though he knew it was medically impossible, spencer reid’s heart leapt a mile in his chest at the irrevocable love he felt for you, both in that moment and always as he completed the line, “and miles to go before i sleep.”

********************

guys wait i think this is the first ending i’ve written that i actually enjoy and i just finished this at 1am last night and i am so sleep deprived

please let me know if you want to be added/removed from my taglist!! 

tags: @sojournmichael @stinkyelf​ @crazyfore3​ @cal-ifornication​ @eggygorl02​ @howdycharlie​ @eosprincess​ @mortallythoughtfulgurl​ @illuxions-x​ @unlikelyempathpruneauthor​ @blankets-for-bees​ @holycandypizza​ @flyingbabyunicornnamedangel​ @lovelyrdjr​ @minnie-bby​ @fantastic-fans​ @ashwarren32​ @rexorangecouny​ @elitereid​ @keomoon​ @achieveonyourown​ @whogirl7​ @jjtheangel​ @carol-danvers-wife​

[definitelyseven]

deal | eleven

summary: when your step-mom unexpectedly offers you a deal you can’t resist, you decide to give her a taste of her own medicine by seducing her potential suitor, Im Jaebum.

one (m) | two | three (m) | four (m) | five | six (m) | seven | eight (m) | nine | ten | eleven | twelve (m) | thirteen | fourteen | fifteen | sixteen | seventeen - final |

The trip with you was supposed to be a couple of days only, but with her it lasted a week. After that night, you immediately went back to your room, packed your things and left Taiwan. It was obvious you were not wanted, and him staying in Taiwan for a week only proved you right. 

“I’m glad you transferred,” Jackson smiled as he handed you a file. 

You smiled back at him softly. “Are you sure it’ll be alright with Mr. Im?”

“Jaebum’s stubborn and sometimes unreasonable, but he’s my best friend. We’ll get over it,” he reassured you. You nodded before heading towards the door. 

“I need to talk to you,” Jaebum said barging into Jackson’s office. He was back in the office today. “Can you give us a minute?” he asked Jackson. Jackson nodded, stepping out of his office to give you both some privacy. The both of you stood their awkwardly, looking at the floor.

“Is there something I can help you with Mr. Im?” you asked professionally. 

“You left.”

You chuckled softly, “What was I supposed to do? Stay and watch you love her?”

Jaebum was shocked by your response. “I can explain,” he said walking towards you. You stepped back, lifting your hands up as a sign for him not to come any closer. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“There are always choices, Jaebum. It all depends on what you pick.”

“She’s my fiancé.”

You chuckled softly again at his excuse. “I know that. I know she’s your fiancé and I have no right to be mad or upset. I’m the home wrecker. I deserve it but I didn’t deserve to be humiliated like that.”

The thought of him making love to her haunted you. Every time you closed your eyes, you hear him moaning her name. His words engraved into your mind - “I’ll fucking get you pregnant.”

“That was never my intention,” he explained.

“Sometimes we say or do things with no intent on hurting people, but it does. And it doesn’t mean it hurts any less,” you said getting emotional. Not only were you constantly reminded of it, your heart stung every time. It became hard to breathe and your stomach felt like it was in knots 24/7. 

“How can I make it up to you?” he asked sincerely.

“I don’t think you can,” you revealed. She’s his fiancé. He was only doing what couples do.

“I never meant for this to happen. I honestly thought,” he begin to say before you interrupted him.

“You thought it would work out? That I would be your secret mistress forever? Let’s be honest with ourselves Jae. This was fun but it was never going to work out.”

“You’re right. I just didn’t expect it turn out like this. I thought we would be able to talk it out, ends things mutually when the time came.”

“No matter what I say you’re still going to marry her,” you realized.

You had to be honest with yourself. He’s too loyal to leave her. She’s his best friend.

“You don’t love her,” you whimpered. “If you love her as much as you say you do, you wouldn’t be sleeping around,” you exposed. 

“I do love her,” he admitted. 

“You don’t love her. You love the idea of having a mother for Minguk and that shows how selfish you are. The both of you are selfish.”

“How are we selfish?” he asked rhetorically. “I’m doing this for my son.”

“Have you ever thought how that would make Eunbi feel? You’re only with her so she can be the mother of your son - that’s not love. And I can’t be the only one that sees right through her.”

“She knows I love her.” 

“You don’t love her like you loved your dead girlfriend,” you said honestly.

“Don’t you dare talk about her,” he spatted, charging towards you. Jaebum pushes you against the wall, the back of your head hitting the corner of the bookshelf. You winced in pain. “I swear to God if you talk about her again,” he warned. He was angry with you; angry enough to hurt you. You tried to push him off you but he was too strong. 

“Would she want her to be Minguk’s mother?” you continued to speak. “Would she be proud of what you’re doing?”

“I said stop fucking talking about her,” he threatened. His grip on your arms tightened - so tight that you were sure he’d leave a mark.

“Jae you’re hurting me,” you said squirming in his arms. “Jae!” you screamed causing Jackson to run in. 

“Jae let her go!” he shouts from across the room. Jaebum ignores him, his eyes staring straight into yours. Jackson makes his way over to you.

“I’m okay,” you whimpered, looking at Jackson. Jackson stops moving towards you. He quickly runs back to shut the door, knowing you didn’t want other people in the office to find out what was happening in here. Jackson stayed in the room with you to make sure you were okay. 

“If we’re so bad then what are you? How are you any different than her?” he accused.

You took a deep breath in, calming yourself down. “The fact that you think I’m anything like her shows how much you didn’t know me. You only cared for me when you needed my body,” you sobbed quietly, afraid that people on the other side might hear.

“I know one thing different about her. The difference is I’ve known her all my life. Even if she was after my money, I know she will help me take care of Minguk. You? I’m not so sure.”

“It was never about the money,” you whispered. 

It never was. It wasn’t even about him. It was about seeking revenge against her; the woman that stole everything from you.

“I’m so stupid,” you whispered to yourself with tears clouding in your eyes. “I was so stupid to think even for a second that you liked me back.”

“It’s not that I didn’t like you,” he began to explain, his grip loosening. “You’re just not her. She’s my best friend. She’s my fiancé.”

“It doesn’t matter what I am to you anymore. I’m done,” you whispered with pearls of tears in your eyes that were threatening to fall. “I don’t want to play this game anymore.”

Jaebum nodded slowly because he knew there was nothing he could do or say to make you change your mind. He had no intentions of making you stay either. “You don’t have to transfer departments. We can still work together.”

“Maybe you can. But I can’t,” you revealed. “I can’t look at you and pretend that everything is okay between us. I can’t look at you and pretend we didn’t share a bed together.”

You should’ve known better. What did you expect would happen when you played with fire?

“Why Jackson? You don’t even know him,” Jaebum tried to convince. 

You shook your head, “I don’t even know you. At the end of the day we’re just fuck buddies.” You didn’t care if Jackson found out what you really were at this point. Jaebum finally lets you go because you were right.

“Jae I think it’s time for you to leave,” Jackson said. Jaebum straightens out his suit, gathering himself together before clearing his throat. He looks at you and then at Jackson before leaving his office. “Are you alright?”

“You can’t tell anyone,” you whimpered. 

“Are you alright, Y/N?” he asked again. 

“Promise me. Tell me you won’t tell anyone.”

“I promise,” Jackson said comforting you. 

You fiddle with the food on your plate - pushing it around, uneasy. “There’s something I want to say,” you announced. Jaebum and Eunbi looked up from their plates. “I’ve been thinking about moving out.”

“Oh that’s great!” Eunbi said ecstatically. 

“Why?” Jaebum asked.

“You guys are getting married soon. You need your privacy and I need my freedom.” 

You don’t want to play this game anymore - not with her and certainly not with him. So you lose - you admit you lost.

“I didn’t expect that,” Eunbi said breaking out of character for a second. “But I’m all for independence.” Jaebum remained silent while Eunbi couldn’t hold in her excitement.

For a second, you thought Jaebum would have said something to make you stay but he didn’t. You laughed at yourself before chugging a glass of wine in the wine cellar. 

“When are you leaving?” someone said behind you, making you jump.

“Tomorrow,” you whispered. 

“Where are you moving to?” Jaebum said making his way towards you. He grabs the bottle of wine and refills your glass before pouring himself a glass. “To Jackson’s?”

“I don’t think that’s any of your concern anymore,” you said frankly. 

"Do I have any say in this?” Jaebum asked, slightly raising his voice. 

“Nope,” you responded, chugging your glass of wine. You set your glass down and walked past him to go back to your room. He grabs your hand and pushes you against the wall again. “What? Are you trying to hurt me again?” 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, rubbing the area where he gripped you too hard this morning. “Does it hurt?”

“Now you care?” you asked, upset. Jaebum strokes your arm with his thumb. His touch made you weak and your stomach churn with butterflies. 

“It doesn’t hurt as much as your heart hurts, right?” he asked rhetorically. Your heart stung every time you were around him, but it seemed like you were immune to this pain. It hurts, but it won’t kill you. In fact, you craved this pain because it made you feel something. He strokes your cheeks with his thumb. “Don’t be mad at me,” he whispered. “Please baby...” he cooed. 

“Don’t...” you mumbled once you feel his lips on your cheek. Tears formed in your eyes as he traces his fingers across your skin. 

“Does this make it better?” he asked as he leaves subtle kisses on the bruises on your arm. You don’t respond. “What about this?” he asked again, kissing your cheek and down your neck. 

“We can’t do this anymore,” you whimpered with tears in your eyes. 

“You and I both know it can never be our last time,” he tries to convince. 

“It has to be,” you tell him, reaching for his hand that was stroking your cheek. “It cannot be good for either of us and I know I’m the one who will end up getting hurt.”

“I would never hurt you,” he said, ignoring how your hand pushed him away.

“But you already did,” you reminded. He hurt you emotionally and physically. How could he say he would never hurt you out loud?

a little to note from jennie: forgive or forget? let me know if you would forgive or if you would forget him!

also did you see got7′s new teaser image? <3

[static-fanatic-1]

Main Four: Escapist S/O with a Three Year Old

This ask disappeared for some reason so I’m really sorry about that. A few other disappeared as well and I don’t know why, luckily I took pictures so I still have them.

Im going to separate them to make it to make it different than the poly relationship ones, I hope you don't mind.

Gon:

• Imagining this baby boy having a baby boy, it's the cutest thing. Not really as a Yandere but you get the point.

• After being gone for four years he became desperate, anyone with any information of you had become important to him. He was patient at first but he can only last so long. He probably went to your family and friends and asked about you. If they know he'll take care of them one way or another.

• Once he finds you he is ecstatic. He sits outside of your apartment, jumping up and down just waiting to walk in and hug you. But when he sees you walking past the slightly open window with something in your arms, he freezes. Gon simply stops and stares at the moving bundle in your arms. At first he might not understand, but once he thinks about what this might mean, he grows furious.

• Lets just say he jumped to the conclusion that it is your but might not be his.

• Gon enters your house by breaking the front door open. You are obviously surprised and jump back from the place near the window, the child in your arms now crying. He storms around the apartment, looking for any sign of another guy in your life. When he finds nothing he storms over to you and demands to know where the baby came from.

• Out of fear of his immense aura, you would be quick to say it's his. Just like that he switches back to his happy, go lucky self.

• You'll be shaken up by this of course, but he won't pay any mind when he rips the child from your arms and holds it in his. He will shush it and calm it down easily while dotting both you and them for doing such a good job.

• Gon will grab your hand and drag you to the couch or bedside, whatever is closer, and hold the both of you close. By now the toddler won't be crying anymore and instead laughing and playing with their dad. They may not have been outright told who their dad was or what they look like, but the baby will know.

• Speaking of the toddler, this thing would be beyond adorable. Big round eyes and a button nose, chubby cheeks and spiky blackish-green hair, they will be adorable.

• I don't think Gon will ask why you left, instead he will just take you two somewhere safe and make sure you can't leave again. You or the child.

Killua:

• Luckily Killua doesn't have a baby thing like Illumi or Kurapika, but he'd still be proud to be a father.

• When he finds you he is beyond surprised that you were able to evade him for such a long time. Sadly the little chase must come to an end, and it ends now.

• You've been gone for so long that anyone who had or as an affiliation with you is dead, pretty much no questions asked. Because you have been running off for so long you probably would not know this, the only way you would be able to escape for so long is because you left everything behind. It's sad but that is how it would have to be.

• When he finds you he will be beyond pissed off, I mean you left him for four years. That won't ever happen again and he'll make sure of it. Still, he won't show how pissed he is, instead it will be covered by an eerily calm and dull mask.

• He would enter the home you've been staying in at night, carefully maneuvering in the dark to get to you. Killua will start to notice some strange things, kids toys? Small baby bottles? He would instantly know why you left, and in return he would understand your fear, but that won't stop him.

• Instead of going to your room he will find out where the toddler is. Killua would sneak in undetected and loom over the crib/small bed, his child resting inside. The assassin would instantly know it's his, his chest swelling with a sense of pride. The fluffy white hair and pale skin are a huge indication as to who is the father.

• Carefully and gently he would wake up the kid, calmly whispering sweet nothings and how his daddy is home. The toddler would instantly understand, and will excitingly jump up and out of bed to tell you.

• You will wake up by being roughly shaken by your kid, a small questioning 'what' slipping past your lips. Why the hell you they be so excited at this hour? But when your sleepy gaze pulls them in, and your eyes settle on the dark figure looming in the doorway, you know what's wrong. Killua would calmly watch before stepping forward into the moonlight.

• You would be afraid, your child would be happy and tapping about how daddy's home, and Killua would have a smug look across his features.

• That will be that, Killua would use the kid as a hostage of sorts, as insurance to keep you with him. The bouncing baby would be a target to his family, but nothing will happen to the kid or you for as long as he lives.

Kurapika:

• Oh dear, one of the scarier yanderes of the Hunter x Hunter universe. At least for me.

• This guy is already unhinged because of you leaving, being gon for so long, without anyone to keep him in check, everyone would be killed.

• Do you guys remember the Kurapika having an S/O who just vanishes? Yeah, he would give up after six or so years, depending on how long it takes to slaughter anyone who might have a vendetta against him.

• When four years hits he is hunting down the Phantom Troupe, at least starting to hunt them down. He will be wondering the rooftops trying to find the Troupe, maybe he is currently trailing a few of them.

• If like to imagine you accidentally bump paths with them on your way to wherever you are going. Like your walking through the streets with your son/daughter and you accidentally bump shoulders with them. You would apologize (like a decent human being) and move on your merry way. (I might actually turn this into a short story because it sounds fun;))

• If That happens Kurapika would be holding his breath, because you have been found and you were too close to the enemy.

• Weare talking about Kurapika so obviously he would be angry you have left, but seeing you happy and with his child... he's beyond relieved. I mean just look at the kid! Cute blonde hair and round, brown eyes with a round face and gleeful smile.

• I can see Kurapika being very calm about the situation, which would be terrifying since he's a bit emotional. He would meet you at your house with a blank expression.

• When you two meet again he will have mixed emotions. Should he be angry, disappointed, relieved, happy? Honestly he doesn't know.

• But he knows one thing, you won't escape again. He will act like the nice guy to your kid and try to paint you as a damsel in distress. He will manipulate your kid to start being as protective as himself, and he will do this with all of your kids. Kurapika wants more children, he wants a big family, and he'll make sure he has one.

• He will trap you and lock you up, making sure your kids learn to be like him. The kids will also be a bargaining chip, you won't want to leave them but they won't want to leave their dad.

• He might not be as angry as usual, but his manipulation will surely compensate.

Leorio:

• This guy would be deathly irritated at everything if you left him for so long. He would snap at pretty much everyone for the smallest of things. But finally, after devoting so much time in finding you he has finally done it.

• Leorio would simply find you in the street and try and pluck you to the side to give you a piece of his mind. Though before he can do that you are met with some other girls, instantly he would be both curious and more irritated.

• He would take his time brooding in the dark alleyways as your group walks to a daycare. The black haired guy would furrow his brows as he watched you smile and pick up a small kid. The two of you would be laughing.

• Leorio's mood is ever changing from irritated to super happy. This would be one of those moments. He would immediately smile to himself and calmly follow you on your way home.

• When you make it home you see a man standing near your doorway, you are nervous about this man but he doesn't seem threatening. That is until you realize who it is.

• Simple 'Hey babe' exchanges will be given, your son/daughter asking who the man is. Your too frozen to answer.

• So he does for you. He'll answer with his name and then his affiliation with you, this will make your child's day. They had a dad?! That crazy!

• They'll jump into Leorio's arms and start talking about random things. Leorio would act as if nothing happened, as if he was just gone on a business trip or something. And that's what the toddler will be told too, he was gone for a really long business trip.

• You on the other hand will know, and despite him not outright using the kid to threaten you, you probably won't even try. His firework like temper would be enough to scare you into submission.

[romantichopelessly]

Overdue Apologies

aka I wrote some moceit garbage after watching the new video, and it turned out to be over 1k. it’s not anything im super proud of, but I wanted to post it anyway, if only to Tumblr. I spent very little time on it, I'm sorry, I am working on better things lol

Moceit (platonic or romantic), hurt/comfort, spoilers

----

A soft knock against Patton’s door startled him from his stupor.

He blinked, dropping the Watson pageboy cap that he had been running his fingers over reverently to head for the door. The sepia tones of Patton’s room always had blurred the passage of time, but Patton was nearly sure that he hadn’t been cooped up for too long, so he couldn’t imagine who would be calling for him already.

Despite how much Patton loved his kiddos, none of them ever seemed to come to visit him. Virgil was still afraid of the effects of Patton’s nostalgia, Logan had never made a habit of visiting the other sides in their own rooms, and Roman…

Well, Roman certainly wouldn’t be in the mood for a friendly fatherly visit, if the way that he had completely ignored Patton’s ten minutes worth of knocking was any indication.

Patton pushed those icky feelings away and stepped over the piles of photo albums and discarded clothing on the way to his door. Just a step away, distracted in his thoughts, Patton’s socked foot got caught in the pile of christmas sweaters--both his and Thomas’s--and he wobbled, tripping forward and grabbing his doorknob for support, pulling his door open.

Immediately, two hands were on his shoulders, steadying him.

Patton looked up, a joke about his own clumsiness on his tongue that quickly melted away when he met the two toned eyes staring down at him.

His first instinct was to smile, so he did. As soon as the grin took over his face, however, other feelings--more yucky feelings--started to bubble in Patton’s gut.

Of course. Janus. How could he have been so stupid? He should have gone to check on Janus after he left Roman’s unopened door. His stomach sank. Surely the deceitful side was not feeling the cheeriest right now, not after what Roman did--

Not after what he did.

Patton’s heart felt heavy all of the sudden. He could still see De- Janus before him, protecting Thomas, protecting Thomas from him-

“Janus! Hi!” His mouth was working before his heart could catch up, as if on autopilot. He had covered up his less than fun emotions enough times for his chipper words to need no permission from the rest of him.

“Hello, Patton.” There was something just there, hidden right behind Janus’s eyes, that Patton couldn’t identify. He didn’t bother to try. He was just about to ask what Janus was doing visiting little old him when Janus continued, asking probably the most baffling question--not really, not by a long shot--that Patton had heard today.

“How are you, Patton?”

Patton’s mouth dried and he blinked in confusion. Janus was asking how he was? That was not only unprecedented but extremely confusing.

But then again, what wasn’t confusing to Patton today?

“I’m-” Patton didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t really bring himself to lie. He hated doing it, and he knew that Janus would just see through it anyway. “I’m doing the best I can. How- How are you? How is Thomas?”

Because that was another thing. Patton also hadn’t gone back to check on Thomas yet. It wasn’t because he was afraid to, of course. Thomas trusted him. Thomas trusted Janus, too. He pushed himself to his feet, allowing Janus to drop his hands. For some reason, the loss of connection made Patton’s skin burn.

Without invitation, Janus stepped forward and into Patton’s room. Patton didn’t mind. For whatever reason, he felt as though he had invited Janus in. Did that even make sense?

It was like he belonged here.

Maybe he just belonged wherever he wanted to.

“Thomas is as alright as he can be as well.” Janus’s eyes roamed over the stacks of items around him, and it struck Patton very suddenly that Janus had never been in his room.

“And you?” Patton inquired softly, after a moment of silence.

Janus was quiet still, running his gloved hands over a book that was sitting on Patton’s dresser. Patton could vividly remember just hours ago when that exact glove had come off for the first time that Patton could remember. When Janus had trusted them. Trusted Thomas. Trusted him.

It was a novel idea that Janus even could trust him. Patton didn’t even know if he trusted himself anymore.

Patton’s heart hurt.

“I’m sorry.” He said, loud and clear. Janus hadn’t answered his question, but that didn’t matter anymore. He could hear it. Apologies are worthless after too many. But Patton never had apologized to Janus, had he? Not since they were children, in the very least.

Janus looked over at him, a perplexed look clouding his expression. Patton continued before he could say anything.

“I’m sorry, Janus. I- I don’t say it enough, not to you at least, but I’ve just been hurting Thomas, and you- you had to step in, and-” Patton covered his face with his hands. For how many times he had had to apologize lately, you would have thought that he would have been better at it. “I owe you about a hundred apologies, Janus. For what I did to Thomas, for how I’ve treated you in the past, and for not checking on you earlier, after what Roman said-”

“You aren’t responsible for Roman.”

Patton blinked. “Wh-”

Janus was facing him fully now. “You are not responsible for Roman.”

“But, I-”

Janus sighed. “I understand the sentiment, Patton. And it… means a lot that you are willing to try.” It was obvious from the look on his face that Janus was uncomfortable with the level of emotional honesty that he was portraying, and it made Patton’s heart do uncomfortable little flips in his chest.

“I-” Patton’s mind was muddled. He shook his head. “It means a lot to me too, Janus. That you- That you care about Thomas so much, and that you’re willing-” A hiccup caught in his throat. Oh fiddlesticks, he was going to cry, wasn’t he? “Willing to trust me. Or, at least, try to.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Janus’s lips and Patton knew that he was probably showing just how soft that little smile made him feel all over his face.

“Of course, Patton.” And Patton didn’t even care if a few of his tears leaked over.

[kpopchangedmylife44]

First kiss with Ateez

Hongjoong

It’s nighttime and you stroll through the empty streets of Seoul. You were visiting popular spots around town, but as it was so late, nobody but you two were there. It felt like you had the whole world to yourself. And while the street lights illuminated your face, Hongjoong knew in this moment that he was falling for you. Unconsciously he was leaning in and you followed his movements. When his lips met yours it felt like the city exploded into lights. The kiss was slow yet passionate and he hold your face like he did want to capture this moment for as long as possible.

Seonghwa

You were at a weekend trip as your family was friends with each other. During a campfire your family started to embarrass you and told how you were crushing so hard on Seonghwa last year. You never told him and he was oblivious to it, although it seemed obvious to everyone else. While you excused yourself (and thought about plans to let your family pay), he followed you to ask if you were ok. ,,Well of course not. My family just exposed my crush on you.“ Seonghwas expression was genuinely surprised. ,,But they said your crush on me was last year.“ Oh shit, you were digging this hole even deeper. ,,Yeah, that’s ehm what I meant.“ He looked at you with a slight smile, seemingly amused. ,,That’s too bad actually. Cause now I’m the one crushing.“ He tried to go back to your families, but you just grabbed his hand without thinking. ,,I lied... I’m..“ You couldn’t even finish this sentence as he quickly pecked your lip and waited for your reaction. When you smiled at him, he stated ,,So that’s ok then.“ You both were leaning in this time and kissing for longer. Your family started wondering if you both went missing, but when they find you almost making out, everyone was happy for you.

Yunho

Yunho and you were friends since your early school days and soon all would come to an end. With your upcoming graduation and you wanting to travel around for several months it looked like your friendship could change drastically. And not only that. You both had feelings for each other, but nobody dared to say anything. The week after your graduation you hang out in your tree house, that you build when you were kids. You were leaving in 5 days and spend all your free time thinking about what to do. You were so afraid of losing your friend and felt slightly on the edge. Yunho and you talked for several hours, but your worries never left and when you said goodbye, the tears started to drop. ,,y/n, how can I help you.“ He was holding onto you, rubbing your shoulders and your face ever so gently, while you tried to respond. ,,I’m really afraid that we will lose each other.“ Yunho felt his heart sink. ,,Don’t be, im coming with you.“ At this point you were really confused, but Yunho actually planned to travel with you for quite some time and he wanted to surprise you last minute. Relief settled over both of you and it felt right in this moment to just kiss him. So you did and everything fell into place. You knew each other for so long, that it was familiar and by the way Yunho continued to kiss you and give little kisses all over your face to collect the tears, you could feel his love for you.

Yeosang

It started when you had the glorious plan to learn how to skate. You went to the skatepark to practice your basic skills until you saw some cute boy, who was really talented. You never saw him talk much to the other people, so you asked them what was up with him. ,,He’s really shy“ everyone said about him, but still one day he came over to you to offer you some help. ,,Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt you, but you’re doing the trick wrong and I’m afraid you might hurt yourself.“ He showed you how to do it way easier and you were grateful for his help. That day you talked for hours. It was really comfortable as he had such a calm attitude and gave you loads of tips. Over the next couple of weeks you practiced together and started to hang out all the time. It was pretty obvious that Yeosang was falling for you and although you felt the same, you never thought he would feel the same way. One afternoon when you went to the skate park, Yeosang got distracted by you and fell from his board. You immediately rushed to him as he laid passed out on the floor. He was mumbling sentences, but you couldn’t understand as you were calling the hospital as his legs was bent in a strange angle. The ambulance arrived minutes later and you accompined him on the way. After hours it turned out that his leg was injured, but fortunately not broken. You talked to him and he hold your hand the whole time and nobody seemed to really notice. His parents came to visit and you left the room, but still heard them say ,,Is this your girlfriend/boyfriend?“, to which Yeosang said ,,Hopefully one day“. When they left, you wanted to say goodbye as well, but also found the courage to do the following. ,,Does it hurt much? I could kiss it better.“ He nodded slightly so you leaned in to kiss him on the lips. When you turned away, he was blushing and his heart monitor went crazy. ,,y/n it still hurts a lot“ and with that he leaned in to give you a much longer kiss, while his heart was about to explode.

San

You knew San for years as you were both in the music industry. At this point you knew each other well enough, so you could just sense that San was especially nervous that day as his parents were in the venue. ,,I’m not good enough. They will think that I should just quit.“ He was freaking out and talking nonsense and you were just trying to calm him down. ,,Stop talking like this. You’re really talented and you deserve to be on this stage. Your parents should be proud of you as you’re such a good person.“ San was calmer, but when the last minute countdown started, he was hyperventilating. You didn’t know what to do. He was on the edge of a mental breakdown and you needed to somehow fix it. You remembered an idea from a tv show (it’s Teen Wolf) and before you could think things through, you were kissing him. San was so shocked that his breathing came back to normal. ,,Oh, it worked.“ You were perplexed as it worked out perfectly and San was still taken by surprise. ,,Y/n, thanks for helping me out.“ and under his breath he said ,,but now I got another problem“ (his feeling for you). He somehow managed to do the show smoothly and was over the moon by it. When he saw you backstage he was still overwhelmed by everything, so he went to steal his second kiss of the night, which was way longer and full of emotions.

Mingi

Mingi was one of the best dancers of your school and you needed some help for your upcoming semester as you had to perform a song in front of the whole class. ,,I don’t believe that you can’t dance. Nobody is as bad as they think.“ Oh boy was he in the wrong. When you showed him your dance skills he was bursting into his bright laughter. ,,Well ok, we need to work on this immediately.“ Mingi was always friendly and helpful. His easy-going personality helped you a lot through the dance lessons in the following weeks. Both of you were still a little clumsy, so when you did a spin Mingi was tripping and tore you both to the floor. And that is how you ,,unfortunately“ landed on top of his lips. Both of you were really perplexed and froze for several moments before pulling away. You tried to act like nothing happened, but he couldn’t let it slide. ,,It was actually not that bad. I kind of enjoyed it, but we could just go on a date first??? If you want...“ Mingi was struggling with his words and you were as well. ,,Yeah, that would be nice.“ So you started to see each other and the rest is history. (It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this. It was only a kiss...)

Wooyoung

Wooyoung and you were doing a group project together and it was quite annoying. Nobody was keen on working with the other person, but that’s the nature of this kind of school work. You fought a lot about how little the other person did and you still hadn’t a clue what to do for your presentation. Time was slowly ticking away and so did your nerves. You literally couldn’t stand him staring at you, like he hated you with all of his being. Your frustration grew as you made no progress on the project. All your stress made your habits ten times worse. You started biting your nails and lips and Wooyoung felt worried when he looked at you. ,,y/n, you should try to relax a bit. It’s just a grade.“ ,,Why do you actually say that? Like you would care.“ Truth was he didn’t care for the project, but he cared for you. You worked like this for some time and your stress became worse as you tensed your jaw and bit down on your lips. He couldn’t take it anymore, as he quickly (but somehow gently) leaned in and kissed you. Wooyoung thought that you would interrupt him immediately, but he was wrong. You were kissing for what felt like hours and the stress slowly left you bit for bit. When you parted, nobody dared to speak. Wooyoung wanted to say something about the kiss and that you shouldn’t bit your lips as it’s such a waste of them. But you tried to gather your remaining brain cells by saying ,,We still got nothing, Wooyoung. The presentation is tomorrow.“ And with that you both bursted into laughter, somehow finished everything and winged it and still found the time for other things along the way.

Jongho

You and Jongho were practicing for a musical. As you both were the lead roles you had to practice for several hours a day and grew closer to each other. It started out as a really sweet friendship but after some time you developed feelings for him, although you stayed quiet. You knew that your chemistry on stage was unmatched, but you just didn’t know if it was the fact that your roles were designed to fall in love with each other or if it was real. On the day of the performance you felt incredibly nervous, but when you saw Jongho you calmed down immediately. He gave you a long hug before the first scene and everything went smoothly. During the last scene everything got more intense than usual and you felt the urge to finally do something about your feelings. Just when it all was coming to an end and the curtains fell, Jongho wasted no time to kiss you. Even though the applause was extremely loud, you didn’t acknowledge your surroundings anymore. Both of you just stood there for what felt like ages, until the rest of the cast came and stared at you like ,,it was about time“.

[coweggomelet]

volume 6 lads

from what i remember this one is similar to 4 in that it gives us a bit of an emotional break

don’t get me wrong i know there’s some stuff but i think overall it’s a little less intense

- ahhhh they’re all fighting together againnn it feels so right

- hey. hey yang and blake. i’m gonna need you to stop. cause my little heart can’t take it

- this dude really was challenged once and had a full blown murder tantrum. that’s fragility my guy

- ruby is SO CUTE look at her little happy face

- oh yeah. take a train. you guys have a great track record with trains

- i also keep getting like three versions of the same ad about getting vaccinated and it’s got all these workers from tv & movie sets and it’s so awkward this one guy looks so annoyed during his whole part

- it’s not just the turrets y’all oz is withholding shit once again

- don’t fuckin shove my boy!!

- i love that qrow immediately steps back when ruby comes forward. like he 100% respects not only her authority as a team leader but also her ability to solve situations and talk to people. he knows man. he knows his niece is something else

- MARIAAAAA MY GIRLL YES

- uh oh the train crashed. who could’ve seen that coming

- cinder really is just too angry and spite filled to die isn’t she

- hehe maria you’re funny

- it’s so funny that oz is still refusing to tell them everything knowing that everything is revealed in the next episode

- oh oz. i know he was your friend. but all these kids saw was the insane amount of harm and death he caused. trying to defend him to them is not gonna go well

- oscaarrr i love you!! you’re so good!!

- oooo chills

- uuugghh i love jinn she’s so cool

- oz. my dude. the ship has sailed. you can’t stop this anymore

- this, my friends, is what we call a lore episode

- this whole sequence gives me chills it’s so gooood

- eurgh i hate how the god of darkness moves like i get it it’s part of the aesthetic but you really don’t need to do that it’s creepy

- salem was so smart to use a super powerful sibling rivalry to get what she wanted

- she really didn’t deserve to watch the love of her live just get revived and killed over and over again

- jeez the gods are assholes. they’re all oooohh maintain balance and then they torture a woman who just wanted her husband back by making her live forever. for what??? for daring to be smart?? ugh

- c’mon gods you gotta respect the hustle

- you think that making someone immortal will make them realize the importance of life and death?? idiots

- god her face

- she’s so smart what the FUCK

- “the hearts of men are easily swayed” really reminds me of galadriel’s “the hearts of men are easily corrupted” in lotr

- a couple hundred humans attack them and the god of darkness decides “you know what? i’m gonna eliminate all of humanity. that feels like the right choice. yeah. i feel good about this.”

- the fact that salem wasn’t even like… a real villain until she tried to kill herself in order to escape her torture and suffering and the grimm juice made her Big Mad

- like it wasn’t even her, it was the grimm juice. i really do believe that without that she wouldn’t have become salem the Villain

- i’m sorry i don’t know a ‘deathly hallows’ i only know the relics

- ohhh fuck i forgot about this!!! oh rwby’s totally gonna end with the gods judging humanity when the relics are brought together. maybe not end end but it’s definitely gonna be close to the end and it’ll be a Big Thing where they strategize about how to convince the gods that humanity is good

- obviously the first maidens weren’t their kids but boy is there a theme going on here. and maybe even something plot relevant cause their kids could do magic

- all the main characters being able to witness this and us seeing their reactions is such a good touch like god, the impact of this reality is so much heavier because we get to see the characters actually affected by it react to watching it unfold before them

- ohhh my boy. you didn’t deserve this burden before but now that you know fully what it means you really don’t deserve it. i mean look at him!!!

- oh qrow!!! you are doing good! i mean i get it, your whole world’s been shattered and the man you gave your life to lied to you about a lot of important shit but you are doing good i promise!!

- fuck yeah maria use your sassy wise old lady authority

- oh god emerald you poor thing you’re just a babey— oh god i felt salem’s hand on emerald’s shoulder fuck dude this show is so effective

- truly, this is a master class in manipulation

- uh oh salem your ex is back

- UH OH ITS THE FARM RUN YALL

- i like that weiss is wearing what looks like very thin tights, a strapless dress, a lil jacket thing, and the animators said “here she’s got a scarf she’s warm now”

- ruby didn’t kill torchwood y’all, he got chomped. like a lil bitch

- oh god this episode

- yaaaayyy

- before this episode my friend went “you ready for some horror?” and was grinning

- oh yeeeaaah the corpses. lovely

- god as soon as they opened the door to where the cellar entrance is it immediately started affecting weiss

- oh the DOOR nope no thank you get the fuck OUT

- watching this show with my friend was also the origin of me being sad cause this shit is sad and her going “oh i’m having a great time” and this episode in particular she was enjoying herself WAY TOO MUCH if you ask me

- little jump scares kept getting me and she LAUGHED and said “that got you?!?” YES it DID i’m a WUSS

- oh the journals!!! the way they incorporated that was so interesting and added SUCH good creepiness and suspense without giving it all away or ramping it up too fast

- ruby’s so good i love her!!

- uuugghh it’s getting them already how haven’t they noticed???

- the eyes got me good the first time

- their weird fuckin attitudes were the creepiest part of this episode

- ruby said not my friends you bitches

- mariaaaa i love you you’re so smart

- god when they’re reading from the journal at the very end…

- neo’s so tiny!!

- talk about some girlbosses 

- MARIAAAAA YOURE SUCH A BADASS i love her backstory

- love her outfit too

- OOOO THE FUCKIN CROCODILE CLOCK LADY ooooo this is so cooooool

- the ticking!!!!

- oh maria you poor thing. but also you’re so smart like that was such a good move

- aww haha qrow’s a fan. awww he based his weapon off hers!! we love a fanboy

- “i wanted to be as good as the grimm reaper.” “well, im nothing but a disappointment, so you’re well on your way” DAMN MARIA SAVAGE

- oh nice they made to argus! NOW SHOW ME THE BABY

- “CUTE BOY OZ” me too nora

- THE BAAAABBYYYY

- and jaune’s sister and her wife!! I LOVE THEIR GAY LIL FAMILY

- yang is good with kids. marry me

- YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT THATS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- HUN!! god i love saph and terra

- “shut up there’s food!” heh me too ruby

- aahhh cordo

- she and maria are totally exes who had a bad breakup and now they hate each other. a tenzin/lin situation if you will

- jaune… my boy… i know you’re angry but oscar is really trying his best

- “i don’t know anything” me neither ruby

- wait cinder didn’t have her grimm arm yet so how did ruby’s ability trigger?

- uh oh my boy’s missing

- remember when you were having fun being the bad guy emerald. remember that. it’s almost like… it was only fun for you cause cinder was there

- it makes me so sad that not only did emerald actually believe that cinder cared about her, but she actually considered cinder family and her emotional health was so connected to cinder being there

- “all you ever learned was pain and violence and now you’re too afraid to leave it” tyrian excuse me i’m the one with the commentary and analysis that’s rude stay in your lane

- oh god oh fuck. the pyrrha statue is comin up isn’t it

- AH FUCK THE LEAF

- oh there she is. my love

- i still wanna know who this lady is. like she’s even the same voice actor as pyrrha. and she’s got red hair. i don’t think pyrrha ever talked about family members, but my money’s on her mom

- this moment fuckin got me dude. i was doing the full tearing up, lil sniffles, choked up thing. uuuuggghh

- god they love each other so much

- i am NOT gonna cry again

- oh qrow. you poor thing

- THE BABYYYY HI ADRIAN DO YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

- young man!! you scared us half to death! do you know what time it is??

- his lil outfit i i looovveee hiiimm

- oscarrr!! you’re so sweet!!

- THE CASSEROLE

- FUCK YEAH RUBY TELL HIM

- qrow’s like… damn. ruby’s right

- here we goooo infiltration time

- oh FUCK yeah they kill adam soon

- adrian what a smart babyyyy i love youu

- hehehehehe maria is luggage

- honestly this is such a good plan it just goes to shit cause these kids can’t catch a fuckin break

- y’all need. to stop. looking. at each other. like that.

- qrow stop being emo

- mariaaaa i love youuuu you’re such a great old lady

- uh ohhhh problems with blake

- i would love it if they used qrow’s semblance strategically. like in some sort of heist/infiltration situation, sending him behind enemy lines to fuck up their luck

- ruby’s so good at speeches

- depressed? feeling bad about yourself? feeling emo and riddled with guilt? just get a Ruby Speech(TM) and you'll be cured!

- qrow’s face

- oh yeaaaahhh big metal guy

- cordo

- hey cordo

- are you uh

- maybe takin it a lil too far

- why are so many atlas military people so fuckin intense with maintaining order and big shows of power and controlling other people???

- ADAM YOU BITCH YOURE GONNA DIE

- yeah you’re a source of trauma for her but GUESS WHAT SHE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM

- at this point dude it’s real pathetic how obsessed with blake you are

- thank god for auras or falling damage would be a much bigger problem

- cordo can you maybe chill

- weiss earthbended!!

- jaune you’re so smart

- ren said things may be complicated but boy oh boy do i care about that strong lightning lady

- “rightfully in charge??” shut up cordo and go be gay with maria

- noooo her fun coat!!

- oooo Dramatic waterfalls

- YES BITCH IM SO PROUD OF YOU YOUVE LEARNED SO MUCH

- adam i’ll kill you

- YEEEAHHHH WHAT AN ENTRANCE YANG MARRY MEEEE

- aaaaggghh the music holy shit

- i love how the fight scenes progress through the volumes it’s so cool

- the parallels between yang and adam are also really interesting. like their semblances, their tendency to lead with strong emotions. interesting

- ooooo he doesn’t like when they look at each other hehehehehe SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW BITCH HAHA

- HOLDING HAANDSSS THEYRE SO GAY

- he’s so basic too. like he looks like a frat boy.

- y’all do your jobs. there’s a big water boy coming but you don’t know cause you’re too busy being goddamn bootlickers

- oscar is so smart and ruby is so brave i love themmm

- uh oh cordo it’s a ruby speech watch out

- ya she is nuts

- THEYRE GONNA WIN CAUSE THEYRE IN LOVE

- ya but you’re a bitch adam and yang is fuckin amazing

- I LOVE THIS FIGHTTTT

- yeet the blake

- FUCK YEAH YANG GET HIM

- i fucking love that they killl him with the pieces of blake’s weapon. like there’s something to that. they kill him with the pieces of a thing he destroyed

- if he wasn’t dead enough he got crunched too

- I LOVE THEM

- hahahahaaaaa cordo they got you

- yeah cordo!!! argus is danger cause you were more worried about fucking “proving the might of atlas” or whatever against some teenagers you fool

- ohhhh shiiiittt cinder’s atlas outfit!! they’re going to a super cold snowy place and cinder said you know what i should wear short shorts and a sleeveless top with super tall boots and a lil cape. that’ll work. and she’s right. it does. have i mentioned i love cinder?

- uh oh big boy swims watch out

- cordo shut up this your own fuckin hubris

- god cordo’s desperation is so heartbreaking

- when are people gonna learn to trust ruby and her friends man

- their willingness to keep fighting and risk their lives and also a Ruby Speech(TM) made cordo believe in them which i love

- i love jinn she likes lil ruby and her friends

- hi summerrrr

- cordoooo i’m so proud of you. she gave up part of this insane symbol of atlas’s power to help ruby and her friends. like she put aside her own ego and i’m so proud of her

- fuck yeah!!!

- awww such a good uncle

- damnnn atlas is gorgeous

- even mercury is terrified by salem’s weird grimm shit

- the fuckin wicked witch with her flying gorillas

[missdawnandherdusk]

Taking A Break

Hey guys, so on my last post I said that I had just gotten out of a four year relationship and well, as you can imagine it’s a bit jarring for me. Please, no worries, I’m not having a mental breakdown nor am I in any danger of doing something stupid. And I mean it. Truthfully. But, I’d like to talk a bit about it if you don’t mind and give some wisdom, or at least a story to tell. 

When I was fifteen, a tenth grader, my older brother (who is a year older than me) was very abusive. It was verbal and emotional and left me in a dark place. As a kid with anxiety and depression, who was excepted to sill be the pinnacle of perfect, you can imagine how difficult it was for me and how much I craved companionship, and to belong somewhere. And well, that’s when I met my s/o. We were both in a dark place and together through the years, we helped and relied on each other. It was a war that we fought side by side. I relied and loved him and he, me. It was a long distance relationship. He lived across the country and we could only see each other a few times a year, which made things unique for us.

But we grew older. And made a lot of fond and fun memories along the way. And I don’t regret a moment of it. He helped me become the person I am today and I will always love him for it. I’m no longer scared of the world, and I no longer let myself get walked on. My depression and anxiety, I have a real handle on. I’m not suicidal anymore and my panic attacks are few or managable or at least recognizable. My brother grew up too. He’s no longer angry and abusive, but rather a pretty cool brother. Don’t get me wrong, it took a lot for us to mend our relationship, but we did and now we have a mutual respect for each other. My parents and I are on better terms after I moved out and went to college for a year and now I’m not so alone and dependent. In fact, I’m thrilled about life! I never thought I’d ever make it to eighteen and now I’m in college, and I have a huge horizon of possibilities in front of me! I was in college, and engaged to be married to my prince charming who saved me. Well...

Let’s talk about my relationship. Where and when I was growing, he stayed the same. Though I tried again and again to give him advice and help him and even get him to help himself, he just didn’t. And that’s extremely frustrating. But, as someone who believes in the best of everyone even in the worst of people, I persisted. I could see the potential, especially since I was growing and seeing the potential I had myself. But he still refused to listen. All he wanted to do was complain about where he was and for me to console him. And whenever I pointed it out, he’d promise to do better and that he was sorry, and I believed him. And it would get better for a while. 

Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t always like this, nor was it as often as you’d think but since January, it began to really drain everything from me. All of our conversations would be about what was wrong in his life and I began to distance myself. I still loved him though and believed in him. It was hard to really take a step back, because as far back as I could remember he was there, just a constant. And until college I didn’t really know how to be independent or if I could even make it on my own because of how I was raised. But college showed me that there is so much more to the world and to me. And I desperately wanted to share that with him, but he was still stuck in the same place that we met.

Then the little things started to occur to me that maybe this wasn’t healthy for me at all. I’m very passionate about what I love (if you haven’t noticed thus far) and he’d say things that would sap all of the happiness out of those things. My music, my fandoms, my art... He’d constantly rip on my favorite characters or my favorite artists or say that the way I did things wasn’t the best way. And as someone who took a long time to become confident in herself, it was jarring, because I loved him and I felt like I couldn’t talk to him about anything else that I loved. Our interests shifted and what we wanted out of life changed.

Then I came out to him. Which was very new to both of us and had me freaking out to tell him because how in the world was I supposed to tell him that I was asexual? But I thought, well, he’ll love me still. It was a nice thought. He crushed me when I told him. He didn’t tell me he was proud, or that he still loved me. He just went quiet. And when I asked him what he was thinking, well he said that he was concerned that his future wife didn’t want to have sex with him and maybe that there were some barriers that would fade with time and maybe after we were married I’d want to again. 

Yeahp. 

You can imagine how back into a corner I felt then. After a while he apologized and came to terms with it, but the damage was done and it still hurts, even now. But then I realized something. 

When I came out to my best friend, she was so excited and proud of me. And everyone else I told (even you guys) were proud of me and accepted me and I realized that I wasn’t alone. And I’m not alone. Not in the slightest. I have parents who love me and who I can now talk to about how I feel. I don’t have to be perfect for anyone anymore because I already am, just the way I am. I have amazing mentors and friends from college who love me and are there for me and I have close friends who I can fall back on if I need to. Most importantly, I love who’s in the mirror and she’s got my back too. 

But I was afraid, because, well it’s hard to end a long term relationship, even though I wanted out. I was afraid of what other people would say, of telling them, of breaking off an engagement when everyone was so happy for me and it took me probably longer than it should have, but the choice I made was the right one and I’m certain of it. Even if it’s just goodbye for now, it still had to be goodbye. 

He wanted me to be the person that I was four years ago, and I’m not her anymore. She is so far gone, even though I still love her and that part of my life, I won’t forfeit who I am not for the sake of ‘true love’

So, why am I telling you this? Well, one I wanted to let you know what’s going on in my life, but two, I wanted to let you guys know that “true love” doesn’t come from one person for the rest of your life. I believe in true love, and in agape, but it’s not from one source all the time. Fairytales are amazing and I adore them but my happily ever after is going to be on my terms. It’s not something I’m going to compromise on because it’s my life and I’ve fought hard for it. And the girl I was four years ago deserves everything I can give her. 

And the same goes for you. You’ve fought hard for who you are today, and if you don’t like who that is, well keep working on it! Keep fighting for it because it’s beautiful and amazing and something to chase. And to those of you who have been suicidal and who either still deal with it or have, don’t give in! From someone who’s been there myself, please believe me when I tell you there is so much more to life than you can ever imagine. 

And, this is a huge change for me. I’ve never been ‘single’ before and though I don’t plan on dating any time soon, it’s a lot for me to adjust to and settle into. I really am happy and proud of myself because it’s something I did for myself and the best thing I could have done for myself and now I feel free to chase after the sun without having to worry about pulling him up with me. I’m free to be me. 

That being said, I’m going to take a break on writing my Hufflepuff and Gryffindor series for right now. And I really hate to disappoint you guys because I know you love reading them and I love seeing you guys’ reactions, but right now, I can’t bring myself to write those scenarios until I’ve settled into who I am a bit and can do so without a bleak outlook, if you can imagine. I want to give you happily ever afters with Draco. I really do, but right now I can’t do that with these stories, not yet. So forgive me as I take a break with them. 

It’s not to say I won’t be writing! I will still write I promise!! I don’t know what or when, but I will write for Draco and I will show you my heart and emotions as I always do. You guys mean so much to me, you have no idea and I love writing for you guys as much as I do myself so I promise I won’t stop. But please, keep in mind that I’m going through some things on the ‘outernet’ and that requires a bit more of my emotional quota than the internet. 

I love all of you. 

Tags: @coffee-addicti @msmcsmutt @ravn-87 @artemismohr18 @whygz @crazywritingbug @fuzzy-panda @bitemebro522 @zombiesnips-blog @savingdraco @welcometomyworldwithoutrules @akari180 @slytherin-emerald @memalfoy-spidey @queenfeatherwings @fanficflaneuse @go-whovian-universe @spicyshenanigans @darling-im-not-okay-i-promise  @dietkiwi @katsukink @takemetothekingdom @strangerr-things @tmnt-queen @hxneybgb @justsomerandomgur @belcvayelena @moviesbooksandfandoms @howdycharlie @xtrashmouthxtozierx @cocochanelthepupper @ninacotte @braelynn-j @jiggllyy @honeymarvel @darcypotter-blog @atomicpunkrock @thiccheerioss @lottie289 @boredashaeck @beautiful-pegasus @tceedlmao @deadlynyghtshayde @iconjuresnapeingrandmaclothes @anonymous034 @bi-andready-tocry @lunna-does-real-doodle @dragonsandbread  @okaydraco @the-queen-of-hell-things @cmxreader @alienmotel @oh-itsnothing @sunflowerxsadnessw @fattycooter @angelotakunerd08 @thisisahugemistake @fanficsigottaread @gweaslvy @strawberriesonsummer @gaysludge @cleopatera @ray-of-sunrise @artist-bby @shadowsingeraxolotl @peters-legos @quillsareforwriting @ghostlytoadalmondhairdo​ @wollymalfoy​ @lilpieceoftoast​  @paper-cats​ @floweryjh​ @sdicapriox​ @slothgirl22​ @peachesandpinks​ @monimillion​ @hufflautia​ @livize75​ @annie-mcl​ @riathearora​ @live-like-luna​ @justathoughtfulangel​ @coconutdawn​ @skteaiy​ @wannabeskinny-thinspo​ @naughtygranger​ @queenofmankind​ @dragonsandbread​ @abundantxadorations​ @moony-artnstuff​ @myforeveryoungblog​ @and-then-a-girl-with-luv​ @1-800-luvsick​ @pandas-rice-field​ @strawberriesonsummer​ @jjustsomerandomgirl​ @mrvlfangirl3190​ @in-slytherin-we-trust​ @emmaa-t​ @introvertedrae​ @infinity1o1​ @stoleurmomsvan​ @echpr​ @sunkissed-hufflepuff​ @dekulover​ @marshmallowtraver​ @cereuselle​

[freddiesaysalright]

The Most Dramatic Season Ever - After the Final Rose

Summary: It’s your time now! You are ABC’s new Bachelorette and this is your journey! All these men (including our fav BoRhap boys and then some) are competing for your heart! Will you find love? Will you get engaged at the end? Or will you end up heartbroken? Find out, on the most dramatic season ever!

Word Count: 3.1K

Tag List:  @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @moon-stars-soul, @danadeacon, @deacyblues, @thesundrop, @cupidben, @lostlittlenerd, @delilahmay39, @timmvrphy, @queenmylovely, @loveandbeloved29, @free-pool-trash, @fairestkillerqueenofall, @local-troubled-writer, @babyalienfairy, @littlecarowrites, @allthethingsicant, @im-an-adult-ish, @mirkwoodshewolf, @squishy-gay-astronaut, @sherlollydramoine, @butlegendsneverdie, @dogmom2014, @rocketrhap917, @26-7-49, @lelifesaver, @frozenhuntress67, @drowsebaby​, @mrhoemazzello​, @lookuptotheskiesandsee​, @seasidecrowbar​

A/N: The final chapter! This serves as the epilogue for this story. We catch up with Ben, Y/N, and Joe, and find out who will be the next Bachelor!

Warning(s): None :)

Night 1  Week 1  Week 2  Week 3  Week 4  Week 5  Week 6  Week 7  The Men Tell All  Week 8/Finale

After the final rose here we go!!!

Chris: Hi. Welcome to After the Final Rose. I’m Chris Harrison, and I’m here to catch you up on everything that’s happened since Y/N’s dramatic season as The Bachelorette. Last night, we watched her and Joe become happily engaged in New Zealand. But, are they still together? What has become of Ben since his breakup with Y/N? And which of Y/N’s men will be the next Bachelor? Find out tonight, right here.

The studio audience went wild with cheers.

“Thank you!” Chris called. “Thank you, Bachelor Nation! Tonight we wrap up Y/N’s crazy and romantic season. We had everything this season. From night one, Y/N was having to deal with problems among the men. No one was perhaps a bigger problem than Luke, who took issue with Y/N’s sexual liberation and independence. We had two men leave abruptly in Ireland because they just weren’t falling in love. Then, the first man to say ‘I love you,’ Taron, was sent home from there as well. Y/N told the top three men from her season that she loved them, which ended up making things all the harder. And finally, after her final two dates, she realized Joe was the man for her, and had a devastating breakup with Ben, before a beautiful proposal with Joe.”

He paused.

“Now, before we get Y/N out here to talk about her life since New Zealand, there is one man that everyone is curious about,” Chris said. “And that’s Ben. Have Ben and Y/N spoken since that heartbreaking night? Is he still in love with her? How has he been coping with her newfound happiness? Well, you’re about to find out. Everyone, please welcome, Ben Hardy!”

The audience applauded and screamed as Ben emerged from backstage, looking dashing in a navy suit. He smiled and waved as people called out to him. When he made it to the stage, he shook hands with Chris before sitting down on the couch.

“Ben, welcome,” Chris said. “Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for having me,” Ben returned.

“There’s a lot to talk about when it comes to you and Y/N, but before we get into it, let’s take a look back at your journey together.”

Everyone turned to the screen to watch. The first clip was Ben’s first introduction to you. He smiled as he watched himself step out of the limo and meet you. The video highlighted everything, from Ben admitting that he had never been in love before, his feud with Luke and beating him out for the rose on the two-on-one, his hometown, the magic of fantasy suite, the final date, and then the crushing blow. His mouth turned down as he watched you tell him again, “It’s not you.” His eyes watered at the soft, teary goodbyes. Then the screen went dark.

“So, tell me what it’s like watching that back,” Chris said.

“Uncomfortable,” Ben said, sniffling. “It still hurts to think about. Even the good times we had...it’s painful because it feels like none of it mattered.”

“None of it mattered?” Chris questioned.

“Yeah,” Ben said. “I felt like we went through all of this only for there to be nothing in the end. For me, at least.”

“Are you angry at Y/N?” Chris asked.

“I was for a little while,” Ben answered. “First, I was really sad, just heartbroken. Then I went through a phase of being a bit angry at her, even though I knew someone had to leave. But I’m not angry anymore. I’ve gotten so much support online and stuff, just a real outpouring of love, and it has definitely made me feel better. Although - I do want to say - Tweeting at me and calling Y/N a bitch is not a way to make me feel better, so if everyone could knock it off with that, I’d appreciate it. That’s not how I feel about her.”

“How do you feel about her?” Chris pressed. “Are you still in love with her?”

Ben hesitated, biting his lip. “Yeah, I am, a little bit.”

Chris paused while the audience let out soft gasps and whispered to each other.

“Well, you know she’s here,” Chris said. “Just backstage. Are you ready to see her? Do you even want to?”

“I do, actually,” Ben said. “I think emotions were high when we last saw each other, and I’d definitely like some closure.”

“Well, then,” Chris said. “Let’s bring her out. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Y/N!”

You walked out, waving to the crowd as they cheered for you. You saw Ben and felt such joy at seeing him again, you could have burst. But, the joy was different than it once was. You had missed his company and the time you shared together, but you had not missed him as a boyfriend. And that was okay.

“Hi,” you said with a smile as you stepped up on the stage.

He crossed over to you and hugged you. It was warm and familiar. And nice.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said sweetly.

“Well, you two have a seat, and we’ll talk,” Chris said.

You and Ben moved to the couch and sat beside each other. It was a bit odd to be sitting there and not holding his hand as you’d grown accustomed to during filming.

“How are you?” Ben asked you.

“I’m doing really well,” you told him. “Really well.”

“Happy?” he wondered.

“So happy,” you replied. “How are you?”

“I’m alright,” he said. “Back home in London. I’ve missed you and I had a rough time of it for a little while, but I’m doing better now.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” you said. 

“Ben, is there anything you want to ask Y/N?” Chris wondered.

“Yeah, um,” Ben began, looking at you. “The biggest thing on my mind has been...is there anything I could have done differently that might have swayed your opinion?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head. “Ben, you...you were perfect. From night one, you were perfect. We didn’t take off right away, but I knew there was going to be something really special between us. As for the end of it, there was nothing you had done wrong, and we weren’t necessarily lacking anything in the relationship. Just, things were stronger with Joe and - like I told you that night - I couldn’t picture my life without him in it.”

“You could picture life without me, though?” he asked.

“It made me ache, but yeah,” you said. “I’m sorry if that’s hurtful to hear.”

“Not as bad as I thought,” he replied with a small smile. “But I’m sure you understand, I was going over everything in my mind, and watching it back every week, so naturally, I wondered.”

“Of course,” you said. “I did the same thing after Peter’s season.”

“So, you don’t question your decision at all?” he asked.

“I don’t, no,” you said. “I think it was absolutely the right choice. For both of us.”

“That’s fair,” he said. “I’m glad things are going alright with you, and I hope your life is happy.”

“I wish you the same,” you returned. “You’re a great guy, Ben. You deserve love and happiness.”

“Thank you.”

You smiled at each other. There was still some hurt you could see in his eyes, but it was not as much as that night back in New Zealand. He was healing. You had faith that he would find that person to be his partner.

“Alright, Y/N,” Chris said. “I’m gonna let you head back and we’ll see you again in a little bit.”

You reached out and gave Ben’s hand a squeeze before getting up and exiting backstage, amongst more cheers from the crowd.

When you were gone, Chris looked at Ben.

“Feel better?” Chris asked.

“A bit, yeah,” Ben said. “It’s still painful, but I’ll move on. She’s a wonderful woman, and I’m happy for her.”

“If you are ready to move on,” Chris said. “I’d like to extend an invitation for you to come to Mexico and join our cast of Bachelor in Paradise.”

The crowd went wild at the notion. Ben laughed and flushed under the excitement.

“Well?” Chris pressed.

“I’m afraid I’m not quite ready for that,” Ben chuckled. “I don’t think I could go there with my heart still belonging to Y/N a little bit, it wouldn’t be fair to the women there.”

The audience released a collective, disappointed, “Awwwww,” but Chris waved them off.

“I appreciate your honesty and your vulnerability, Ben,” he said. “I wish you all the best, and hopefully one day we will see you on that beach.”

Ben laughed.

“We’ll be back in a little bit with Y/N and Joe,” Chris said to the camera. “How has life been since their engagement in New Zealand? Are they still together? Find out, right after this.”

The show went to commercial. Ben shook Chris’s hand and then exited the stage.

After a few minutes Chris welcomed everyone back.

“Everyone, please welcome, Y/N and Joe!”

You and Joe headed out toward the platform, smiling and waving at everyone as you passed. Hand in hand, you made it to the couch. Finally, you could be seen together in public and proud. It felt like such a weight lifted.

“Hey there, you two,” Chris said as you all took seats on the couches. “So, it looks like things are good,” he said, indicating your intertwined hands.

“Things are great!” you chirped. “We’re still engaged and going strong.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Chris said. “Especially after the last couple seasons we’ve had.”

Everyone laughed a little.

“So, tell me what it’s been like for you two since filming ended,” he said. “You had your trip together after the engagement, and what’s the plan going forward?”

“Well, Y/N is moving to New York,” Joe said. “We’ve almost got all her stuff there, but now we’re living together like ninety percent of the time.”

“How are you liking New York?” Chris asked you.

“I love New York,” you told him. Then you looked at Joe. “But mostly the people in it.”

You beamed at each other.

“That’s sweet,” Chris said. “Are you moving into Joe’s place or have you picked somewhere new?”

“We bought a house,” Joe said. “Y/N and I picked it together so it feels like ours.”

“It’s really close to the restaurant,” you went on. “And in a really good school district.”

“Oh, this is something you plan on making a permanent home?” Chris said.

“Yeah,” you said. “We want our family to have something stable. And that starts with the home we make together.”

“Any wedding plans?” he wondered.

“We have actually set a date!” you said excitedly.

“April 3rd, next year,” Joe said. “We can’t wait to get married, and we don’t want to waste any time.”

“Congratulations to you!” Chris said. “Now, Joe, I wanna talk to you for a minute and ask, what was it like watching the season back, and then seeing that finale and what it was like for you to watch Y/N end things with Ben?”

“Honestly, I cried watching their breakup,” Joe said with a light chuckle. “I mean, it’s not easy watching her with the other men - it wasn’t during filming - but, seeing her choose me, out of all the great relationships she had - especially the one she had with Ben - makes me feel more confident than ever.”

“Did she tell you that she had broken things off with Ben the night before the proposal?” Chris asked.

“She did,” Joe answered. “While we were on our little vacation, she explained that she sent Ben home and the reasons that she had for doing it. It made sense to me and I respected what she did. The last thing I’d want is for her to be recovering from that while saying yes to me. It was a good way to give each relationship the proper treatment.”

“So, you two have watched the whole season back,” Chris said. “How does it feel to be where you are now?”

“It feels amazing,” you said. “I mean, Joe was so funny as the season was airing, he would like, text me about the episode and say something like, ‘Can’t believe you broke Taron’s heart like this’ and all that, so we tried not to get too emotional about it. But looking back, I feel like all of it was so worth it because it brought us together.”

“Now, throughout the season, it appeared that Joe was a front runner,” Chris said. “Did you know from the beginning maybe that it would be him?”

“I thought it was a strong possibility,” you said. “But I honestly didn’t know until that night after our last date. I always knew that Joe and I were solid and strong. I had a feeling he would be one of the final men, but toward the end, as feelings developed in other relationships, I wasn’t totally sure it was him. I am now, but at the time, I had a really tough choice to make.”

“Joe, did you think it would be you?” Chris asked.

“I felt good about our relationship the whole time,” Joe said. “But there’s always that worry, it's not what you think. Because during filming, we don’t see the other relationships progressing and how she feels about them. I didn’t even know she had told other men she loved them. And on the day of the proposal, I didn’t know that she had already sent Ben home. So, yeah, as good as I felt about us, I could never be totally sure.”

“Well, it certainly does seem to have worked out,” Chris said. “Anything else going on with you two?”

You and Joe exchanged a look and then both shrugged.

“Nothing really, except moving in together and wedding stuff,” you said. “The excitement of the show is over, and we’re ready to settle down.”

“Yeah, getting our own routine down and settling into regular life has been great,” Joe said. “We’re looking forward to what the future holds.”

“Hopefully, it’s all happiness and love,” Chris said. He turned to the camera. “We’ll be back in just a few minutes with the announcement of your new Bachelor! Stay tuned.”

The show went to commercial. Chris shook both your hands and the three of you chatted for a bit while the audience took time to use the restroom and things like that. When the show came back, the three of you still sat on the stage.

“Welcome back to After the Final Rose,” Chris said. “I’m here with Y/N and Joe and we’ve been talking about their very promising future. But what about the future of Bachelor Nation? Well, we’re gonna get right to that.”

“Oh, Chris,” you interjected. “Can I?”

He chuckled. “Sure. Just look right there,” he indicated the teleprompter. “And read it with all the excitement I know you have.”

You beamed and looked into the camera.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” you said, trying to contain yourself because you were so thrilled about the choice. “Please welcome your new Bachelor, Gwilym Lee!”

The studio erupted into applause and cheers, you and Joe included, as Gwilym emerged from backstage. He grinned a bit bashfully at the support he was getting. He finally reached the platform where he was engulfed by you and Joe’s arms around him. You both greeted him warmly as the noise began to die down.

“Hey, congratulations, you two,” Gwilym said. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, man,” Joe said, and they clapped hands.

“Thank you,” you added, and Gwil kissed your cheek.

“Well, Joe and Y/N, you’re old news now,” Chris joked, and all of you laughed. “Why don’t guys head backstage, so I can talk to our new Bachelor?”

“Sure,” you agreed. “Congrats, Gwil!”

“You’ll be great!” Joe said, and you both began to walk away, waving to Gwil and the audience as you did.

Gwilym chuckled as he watched you and Joe disappear, then returned his attention to Chris.

“So, Gwilym, how does it feel?” Chris asked. “You’re the new Bachelor!”

“I’m still in shock a bit, actually,” Gwilym replied. “I can hardly believe it.”

“What lessons are you going to take from Y/N’s season into your own?” Chris wondered.

“I’m definitely going to be conscious of what it’s like being on the other side,” Gwilym answered. “Y/N certainly was, and I really admired that. I’ll definitely want the women to know that I understand being in their shoes. That, and giving every relationship a chance to thrive, but acting quickly if I know it’s not right. I don’t want to waste any time, since we have so little of it.”

“Now, are you concerned at all that the issue of being ready to propose or saying I love you will come up again?” Chris asked.

“Well, not so much now that I’m the one in control,” Gwilym said. “I know that I’ll want to save that I love you for the proposal - should I get there - because I won’t be concerned about the women having feelings for someone else.”

“Have you sought any advice from previous Bachelors?” Chris continued.

“A few of them have reached out to me, since the news has been known among us for a while,” Gwilym said. “Arie reached out, as did Colton, Sean Lowe, and even Ben Higgins. So, I’m getting a lot of tips, and I’m sure I’ll get even more.”

“Are you nervous at all?” Chris pressed.

“Oh, incredibly,” Gwilym said. “I’m dreading rose ceremonies and things like that. But, ultimately the goal is to find love. Seeing how it worked out for Y/N and Joe makes me really hopeful.”

“So there’s an element of excitement too?” Chris asked.

“Naturally,” Gwilym returned. “I just hope I’m capable and that I find what I’m looking for.”

“How does your family feel about you taking this on?”

“They were apprehensive initially,” Gwilym explained. “But I assured them that the feelings are real and that I’m prepared to give my heart to this journey.”

You and Joe watched the interview from backstage. You recalled your own interview when you were first named the Bachelorette, and the storm of emotions that came with that, and felt a twinge of sadness that it was all over. Then you looked over at Joe. The man this show had brought you to. The man you would spend forever with, and you were filled with gratitude. 

Your journey was not quite over, after all. You had a whole new one to look forward to.

[disaster-fruit]

DO TELL US MORE ABOUT BRAZIL'S DADDY ISSUES

I can’t believe this is an actual ask I actually got asduadas

If you came him for sexy shitposting im sorry to tell you all I got is angsty.

Well, I think I’ve talked about it before here but Brazil was always very, very lonely. Portugal was absent during most of his life, barely even writing letters and only occasionally visiting. For many decades (the whole sugar cane cycle) Portugal basically treated Brazil with an underlying disappointment and disinterest – he wanted gold and silver, like Spain had found, and because Brazil apparently didn’t have any, Portugal saw him, and treated him, as an afterthought at best. I’m not saying he was constantly turning to him and saying that in clear words, but it permeated their entire relationship in the rare occasions port was around.

Then one day, Portugal learns that Brazil has gold. Not just some gold – the biggest gold reserves ever found at the time anywhere in the world. Times and times what Spain found. Their relationship changed, Portugal wasn’t neglecting him anymore, he was around much more often and paid him a lot of attention. It was not good attention though. Portugal went from an absent father to a much more controlling one. So even if Brazil managed to be exactly what Portugal had always said he wanted – an almost endless supply of gold – that didn’t solve their problems. Maybe at first Portugal was very happy and very proud, but that only made things worse when that initial excitement was gone. This, I think, is the point Brazil starts to rebel from his father. He smuggles every gram of gold he can for himself, and starts to be much more defiant.

This is then amplified when the Portuguese court moves to Brazil, and suddenly Portugal becomes a constant presence in his life, but the power balance shifts – Brazil is no longer a colony, not in practice; in many ways, it’s the opposite. The father no longer looks down at his disappointment of a son, but is forced to look him eye to eye, both facing the fact that Portugal needs Brazil much more than Brazil needs him. From that moment on, Brazil develops a new disdain towards Portugal.

However, the centuries of loneliness and neglect werent just magically wiped out of his memory. So when we’re talking about daddy issues, Brazil simultaneously disdains his father, wants to make him proud, wants to be him, and wants to be the exact opposite of him. Nowhere is that clearer than during and in the first years of independence, which were literally a son (Pedro I) against his father. Brazil wanted to be someone different for Portugal, wanted to find a new identity free from him, but was still governed by a Portuguese prince, inside the structures of a European monarchist state. Brazil even went on to become an Empire, like Portugal. His emancipation from his father was combined with this constant imitation of him for decades.

Speaking in more general terms about how this complicated father-son relationship shaped Brazil as a person, I think the biggest impact was certainly the one made by the very many years of neglect, that turned him into someone very eager to please and to be liked, someone who likes attention and who wants, more than anything, to feel loved, but there’s still a constant, lingering feeling that he doesn’t deserve it, and will never truly be, no matter what he does. All his gold didn’t bring any love, why would anything? And of course none of this is something his consciously aware and can articulate, but unconscious fears and insecurities that are carved deeply in his soul and personality. It shapes how he interacts with other countries, making him more willing to accept being stepped on by someone from whom he craves affection. His deep seeded wish to be liked also influences how he tries to show, to the entire world, an image of a constantly happy, constantly cheerful man, who’s always down to party and who’s never miserable, even though he is, all the time. He’s afraid to show negative emotions while also being very critical of himself and having an incredibly low self-esteem. He not only never feels good enough, he never feels good at all.  But he still puts a lot of effort into making people like him, and that just puts him in a situation where everyone kinda likes him, but don’t actually likes him.

 One page and a half….. wow…. Yall cant just ask stuff I always talk too much….. And I still left a bunch of stuff out ahsdshd I Suck.

[neerasrealm]

Grandparents

Howdy! Some people were saying they wanted to see more Slendra, so here’s a story about her (finally). This does focus more on Slender than her but that’s mostly because I’m still trying to practice writing her. I have about two sequels to this planned too, so look out for those. Oh and the plot here is Slendra learns about her grandpa. That’s it that’s the plot.

Words: 1243

‘’Don’t be afraid.’’ Slender said softly as he flicked on the lighter in his hand. The flame flickered to life. He looked from it to the girl in front of him. She looked to be no older than six, when in reality she was only three. Her hair resembled fire and hung neatly around her shoulders. Her skin was a purplish brown and seemed to shimmer in the sunlight beaming in through the training room windows. She wore grey overalls and a black and white striped shirt, complimented nicely by the red bow-tie around her neck. Her golden eyes went from the lighter in Slender’s hand to him. Slowly, she stepped towards him, her eyes going to the flame again. ‘’Calm down, it won’t hurt you.’’

She gulped. ‘’W-what if I burn somefing?’’ she murmured.

‘’You won’t. I can turn the lighter off at a moment’s notice.’’ to prove his point, Slender flicked the lighter off again. The girl, Slendra, nodded.

The lighter was flicked back on and Slendra slowly reached out, cupping her hands around the flame. Slender nodded at her. ‘’Good.’’ he said gently. ‘’Control your breathing. You cannot falter if you’re focusing on your breath.’’

Slendra nodded. Slowly, she pulled her hands away from eachother. The flame followed her palms, the flame splitting in half and dragging apart in an unnatural way. Slendra smiled wide. If Slender had a mouth, he’d be smiling proudly at her. ‘’I’m doing i’...!’’ she breathed. Slender nodded encouragingly. Slendra pulled her hands up, then drew them close until the flame was long and thin. She pushed the flames back down and they formed a large ball at the base of the lighter. She paused for a moment. ‘’H-how do I make 'em smaller?’’ she asked. 

‘’The fire is an extension of yourself, just as the rest of your abilities are.’’ Slender said. ‘’Calm yourself, relax entirely and the flame will die down.’’

The girl nodded, albeit nervously and took a deep breath. She slowly curled her hands in close to eachother, taking deep breaths. The flame shrunk, just a bit, but was still fairly large compared to the lighter’s initial flame. She bit her lip. ‘’I-I can’t make i'-’’ she frowned in frustration. ‘’Why doesn’ i' work?’’

Slender reached over and pat her head. ‘’Calm down. You’re doing good for your first time.’’ he flicked the lighter off and the flame disappeared. Slendra frowned, her hands curling into fists.

‘’But I was doin' everyfin' right…’’ she grumbled. Slender put down the lighter and petted the little demon’s head. She looked up at her father. 

‘’It takes practice. Nobody can use their powers perfectly the first time.’’ he said gently. ‘’Even I needed to practice. My own father had to teach me, just like I’m teaching you now.’’ as he spoke Slendra looked up at him, tilting her head curiously. 

‘’Your dad?’’ she asked. ‘’Do I have grandparents?’’ 

Slender shook his head and sighed softly. ‘’No...not anymore at least.’’ he looked at Slendra for a moment. ‘’Sit down. I’ll tell you about them.’’ Obediently, Slendra sat down in front of him, crossing her legs. She looked up at him, curious. She watched her father kneel down and his tendrils curl around him, as elegant as ever. ‘’...My father,’’ he began. ‘’Was a being known only as ‘The Instructor’. He was created with the purpose of teaching others to use their abilities.’’ one of his tendrils reached over and caressed the girl’s cheek, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. ‘’I suppose he would have been useful now…’’

Slendra laughed a little bit. Slender tilted his head at her. Somehow, despite his lack of mouth, Slendra could tell he was smiling. ‘’Would he have liked me?’’ she asked.

‘’...hm…’’ Slender seemed to consider the question for a moment. One of his tendrils tapped against his chin. ‘’My father was...somewhat cold. Very logical. I’m not sure…’’ he looked down at Slendra, who was frowning. His tendrils curled. ‘’But I do know he would appreciate your talents.’’ he added quickly. ‘’He would be amazed by your power, I’m sure. And he’d probably be able to teach you much faster than I could.’’

Slendra seemed to brighten up at that. Slender continued. "He wasn't one for showing emotion, but he was an encouraging man. He was always sure to remind us all of our potential, and never to squander it…" Slender looked away for a moment. "Sometimes I wish he'd said that a little less. Trender took the advice far too seriously."

Slendra smirked a bit. "But isn' he rich?" She asked. Slender looked at her and sighed fondly. 

"Yes. Yes he is." He murmured. "I suppose father would be proud of him for that…" he seemed almost- amused, at the thought. "Speaking of Trender, he resembles father the most."

"But...you and uncle Trender are twins." Slendra tilted her head.

"He was known for wearing glasses. Though of course, they weren't because his eyesight was bad. Quite the opposite. He wore them because his eyes were too powerful." as he spoke, his tendrils gestured to where his eyes would be, if he had any. 

"How can eyes be too good?" Slendra asked. Slender chuckled in amusement and reached over, pulling the girl into his lap. She smiled up at her father, folding her hands in her lap just as he did. 

"He had Splendor's eyesight. Just like him, my father could see the emotions of others." As he spoke he reached down and scratched Slendra under the chin like a cat. The little demon growled softly in appreciation. "In order to deal with this, my father had special glasses that blocked the ability. Seeing everyone's true feelings was problematic for him, it got in the way of work."

Slendra frowned. "That's a bit sad." She murmured. "What if ya wanted him to know how you were feelin'?"

"He could still tell, the same way you and I do. By body language and words. The glasses just made him unable to tell when someone was hiding their feelings."

Slendra nodded, understanding. "So what happened to 'im?" Slender stopped for a moment. He looked up, staring dead ahead at the door in front of them rather than his daughter. His hand moved away from her, as did his tendrils. Slendra frowned. "Dad…?" 

"...He was killed." Slender breathed. "And we had to leave home." He pulled Slendra off his lap, setting her standing on the ground. He stood up himself. "That was a very long time ago. Far...far before you were born." He looked down at her and for a moment it felt like he was looking at...somebody else. Slendra shivered involuntarily. His expression softened again and he reached down, patting the girl's head to ease her. "But that's nothing for you to worry about, my dear."

Slendra nodded and reached up, grabbing his hand and hugging his arm. "It's okay to miss 'im." She murmured. Slender stared at the girl for a moment before some tendril's reached down and scooped her up. She was placed into Slender's arm and he looked down at her.

"I do miss him. Very much." He seemed to brighten up again. "Anyway...are you hungry, dear? I think it's about time for lunch." Slendra grinned and nodded. "What would you like? You can have anything you want."

"Pasta! With lots of meat, oh and peppers! The ones from your garden." Slendra smiled up at him. Slender chuckled a bit.

"Alright, that can be arranged."

[inupibaldspot]

Savior : Chapter 10

"Stop! What's that?" The man who had a rifle in his hand asked.

Currently the team were in Grey Terminal. This started when they were talking about food and suddenly Ace started talking about the food they get inside the gate beyond Grey Terminal.

Now they were all staked up, wearing a cloak dragging a covered dead crocodile as a way to get through the inspection and inside their desired place.

"It's crocodile leather for sale." Ace said. He then removed the cloth on the crocodile to prove his statement.

The gate keeper flinched back in surprise. "Go ahead." He said.

After that they were able to go inside but as soon as they entered Emilia noted that a rather large amount of people were surrounding the entrance. Obviously thieves that were trying to rob the goods.

"It seems that you're carrying a valuable thing there." One of the men carrying a stick said. "How about you leave it here."

Other men also started surrounding them while laughing.The man who first talked to them boldly approached them. "Oi! Say something."

"Shut up, you small fry." Ace said without hesitation. Luffy who was at the bottom  of the pile then swung his iron pipe, (which male trio were carrying)making the man fall.

"Before you rob..." Ace started as he pulled the cloak revealing themselves. "You should choose your targets wisely."

After revealing themselves, the thieves immediately recognised them and took a step back.The children without hesitation jumped and started attacking.

Emilia was the only one without the iron pipe.She rather wanted to see how strong her armament haki was.

Emilia punched the guy in front of her without a second thought. This made the guy being thrown  near by, making a hole on the wall .

Emilia sweat dropped mentally noteing to not use it against normal people. After not even 5 minutes of fighting, they had beaten all the guys and started dressing up again.

.........

Emilia stared at the shop keeper in front of her currently out of their disguise. "Huh? 20,000 Beli? Uncle, you can clearly see that this one is pure leather."

"Yes. That is why I'm buying it for 20,000. It's a rather great deal of you ask me." The shop keeper said trying to trick the small girl.

"I'm pretty sure this won't be any less than 60,000 Beli and I offered that for 50,000." Emilia said crossing her hands not budging.

Ace,Sabo and Luffy had no idea how to do this stuff and left it entirely on Emilia.At first they were happy that they could sell it for 20,000 but when Emilia mentioned the real cost, they couldn't be more happy to have her who knows the values of stuff since she does a lot of reading.

"I see..." Emilia sighed.

The shop keeper smiled. Even though she know the cost of her products , she is nothing more than a child after all.

"I guess I'll sell it in another shop." Emilia said turning back. "Let's go, you guys."

"W-wait!" The shop keeper said. "I....I'll buy it."

Emilia smiled.

..........

"They paid us a good price for the crocodile ." Sabo said. "More money for our pirate savings."

"Yeah!" Ace agreed in a low tone since they were still in disguise. "Thanks Emilia."

"I was quite nervous since it was my first time negotiating." Emilia said.

"I'm hungry." Luffy who was at the very bottom, complained.

"Just wait." Ace replied. "You'll get to eat some delicious ramen soon."

"Ramen? What's that?" Sabo questioned. "Is it that delicious."

"I don't care,let's hurry up and eat." Luffy said.

Soon they came in front of a rather large building and entered it.

"Welcome." The man,probably the chef greeted but stopped them after seeing their unpleasant  appearance. "W-wait, you can't come in our restaurant!"

Sabo then showed a golden circular thing and said. "I want a private room."

After that the man jumped back and bowed, quickly showing them their room.

"Four bowls of Ramen! Sorry for the wait." The waitress greeted and then left.

"So this is ramen?" Sabo asked quickly followed by "It looks delicious" by Luffy.

Emilia eyes also glowed as she stared at the food in front of her.She never tasted ramen after coming to this world after all.

All of them started eating and soon finished and again ordered.Emilia was full from her second plate and didn't eat from them on.

"Emilia you're not eating anymore?" Ace asked.

"No...I'm full." Emilia replied.She really wonder how did these boys eat so much and was still so skinny.

"Then can I have your share?" Luffy asked as he ate.

" Go ahead."

They kept on ordering again and again that Emilia had started feeling bad for the staff.

"Excuse me." The waitress knocked bringing new set of bowls. But then Luffy who was distracted stretched his hand and reached out for the bowl making the waitress squeal in horror .

"Oh..." Emilia who witnessed the scene smiled. "We should go now that our cover is blown."

"Wait let me eat some more." Luffy said as he continued eating.

Not even a minute later the door opened . "Sir,please explain..."

"Run!" Sabo said as all of them rushed towards the window, breaking it and then jumped.

"The ramen was delicious." Sabo said as he was falling.

"I told you." Ace replied.

"I should try making it as well." Emilia said.

"I can't wait!" Luffy exclaimed.

You can imagine how other people saw this scene where children who were falling were talking mid-air calmly.

They then safely landed and started bolting.

"Stop! Some one catch them!" One of the sheriffs who spotted them shouted.

"Is that you,Sabo?! Wait!" One of the man who they ran pass by started shouting. "You were alive!"

Sabo stopped and looked back along with Emilia,Ace and Luffy.

"Sabo,that man's calling for you!" Ace said.

"Who is that?" Luffy questioned.

Emilia then realised who that man and where Sabo was from.She put all the pieces in place from when Sabo talked about nobles,certain time which showed Sabo was well educated, had a noble's belonging and now a man was calling out for him.However she didn't comment.

"He must be mistaken.Lets go"

......

They were currently back in the forest and as soon as they reached a safe distance Ace and Luffy started interrogating Sabo.

"What..Im not hiding anything." Sabo said, as he was backed in a corner.

"Really?" Luffy said,oblivious already believing him.

"It's obvious he is hiding something!" Ace shouted. "Are you really keeping going to keep a secret from us?!"

"I told you already...I'm not hiding anything." Sabo looked away clearly a sign of lying.

"Talk already or I'll make you talk."Ace and Luffy grabbed Sabo and then started 'a forceful interrogration'.

"Sabo." Emilia called out making the boys stop fighting momentarily. "It's fine to reveal it. I'm sure they'll understand."

"Emilia, you already knew about it?!" Luffy questioned.

"No.I just found it out myself in the town." Emilia quickly denied.

Sabo then nodded and started explaining his story.

"Ehhhh?! A noble's son." Ace and Luffy questioned in unison. "....who is?"

"Me!!!" Sabo shouted.

Ace and Luffy then shoved their pinky finger deep in their nose. "So?"

"You guys were the ones who asked it." Emilia said, sweat dropping at the scene suddenly remembering Garp. Seriously this family....

"I'm not an orphan and both my parents are alive." Sabo explained. "And the man who we saw today is my father."

The other trio just stared quietly waiting for the blond haired boy to continue. "I'm sorry for lying to you." Sabo apologised looking down.

"You apologied so I forgive  you." Luffy said crossing his arms. Emilia looked at Luffy smiling. This child is always so pure, always giving out love attracting people to him along the way.

"Honesty I'm shocked " Ace said turning his back and facing the sea "Why would you do this if you're a noble's son?"

"I ran away from home...." Sabo started remembering his childhood memories when he was with his parents "...because they only care about money and status but not me. I had to study all day since if I am unable to marry a girl from a royal family, I'll be considered  crap."

Emilia stared at the boy in front of her. She had been lucky to be born into a loving family so she can't completely understand Sabo but then she can't help but feel saddened for him.

"For that family I was a nuisance.Sorry if I offend you, but even though I had parents I felt lonely!" Sabo shouted. "People in Grey Terminal were not like the nobles ,but for me I liked it better there."

"I see...Now I understand." Ace stated.

Sabo then stood up now smiling. "We'll definitely set sail and leave this country. I wanna know this world and then write a book on my adventures!"

"I don't mind studying navigation. I'll be stronger and then become a pirate!" Sabo shouted arms in the air. This caused all of them to smile.

" I know, you don't have to tell me that." Ace started "I'll become a pirate and keep on fighting, until I'm the most famous! That's the way I'll prove my existence. "

"I don't care if those bastards don't acknowledge my existence or how much they hate me...I'll  become a great pirate and I'll face them." Ace shouted with determination in his eyes. " I won't run away from anyone, I won't lose against anyone neither will  I be afraid of anyone. Everyone will know my name!"

When Ace said these words a wave of emotion rushed through Emilia. She didn't know how to describe it. She felt proud at the same time she felt un easy. But one thing sure was that she really wanted to see Ace grow more.Staying with him and the others made her really attached to them.

This world at first was just a fiction but now this has become a reality. And all the times they have spend together is real.

Luffy who was next to her, laughed and then rushed forward. "I'll find One Piece and then become the Pirate King!!!"

"Huh?!" Both Ace and Sabo exclaimed as Luffy just laughed.

"I have no idea what your saying...You just talk nonsense" Ace said scratching his head while Sabo just laughed.

Emilia then walked forward and looked at the sea.

"My dream is..." She started talking as she turned and  faces them. " to make sure you guys keep your promises and do my best to support them."

The boys all had a questioning face but soon started fighting about who will be the captain (again ) as Emilia looked at them with a smile.

She really was happy.

[kendrixtermina]

Now here's an all new theory for where the procrastination comes from

Like the uni councilors thought of like generic selfhate insecurity or like spineless ppl pleasing (nope an anime cured me of that when I was 13 - thst sounded more like what that ladys own problems might be), fear or failure & wanting to spite my father, eveb that getting ahead through "talent" was an unfair advantage bad tainted and evil, or that "talent" meant being beholden and controlled by others (definitely somewhat right - we worked on that, it helped, the second guy was defs much much more helpful & compatible cause he focussed a lot more on strategies than wannabe-maternal pep talks) but there was always something else there that wasnt getting touched

In tje end I dont think I have talent and in any case what really matters is attitude toward "living the examined life" for example whst you do. What you notice.

Now I did notice that things get harder to do precisely because I actually want them(whereas a lot of ppl get distracted from stuff because they dont really want it) - at the same time I can totally function or pick up new habits in day to day life its not like I have some "hardware problem" like, say, ADHD or the like.

Like of course its some emotional knot it couldnt be anything else but I feel they didnt identify what kind of knot? Certainly not that first lady. If im trying to get clarity and you give me reassuring pep talks you just freak me out more for the love of god tell me whats happening. Nothing worse when a Doctor says "it will be over soon" rather than explain the procedure

Fear of/ distraction from wanting itself never really occured to me thats not a common stereotypical fear that ppl talk about.

Let me get this straight I never thought I was better than anyone I knew very well that I'm not. I thought of both those things as ways not to get bullied, maybe get somewhere where I feel that im in the right place.

If I look back at really breaking experiences it was times I really really wanted something and then I couldnt do it or some outside party stepped on my fingers. That Tori Amos Music Video where she escapes from a psycho killer's trunk and then the passerby's dont help her? That was my most favorite music video in the world for years maybe still is.

Like I was told I could maybe skip third grade and I poured all my energy and passion and strenght into that everything I had to do well, make friends with the new class i was so highly motivated I aced all the exams I felt so happy & fulfilled just being in thst flow state all the time... i wanted this more than anything. Maybe it was the first time I really wanted something beyond vague dreams or base desires. But the homeroom teacher hated my guts and put the kibosh on that; Probably because I was unwittingly repeating some of the artogant classist shit my father spouts without realizing how hurtful it is. my parents thought it wasnt worth going to the higher ups for that but having to essentially redo 4th grade in a crap school in the different town we moved to was one of the worst times of my life. Also I didnt find out that the teacher had hated me/acted in a petty way until years after I thought I just failed. That there was a possible place I could have belonged but turns out I really belong nowhere after all.

All my effort was for nothing. It was such a joy - i mean these days even getting code to work or solving math problems has that same joy - but all that effort and joy and wanting did was that... im tearing up and searching for the words to even process this tbh. I think I denied that joy, told myself that I was just a stupud kid thinking I was a special snowflake. It didnt even matter.

Rather than insist on staying up late to make sure my homework was done I just stopped caring and hardly did another piece of homework in my life just faking it on the spot or coasting through. It could have gone another way maybe if it werent for the bullies and my father the chief bully or if only I was more determined but it was like "okay I dont care anymore I just dont care" and I think thats stayed my default response to dissapointment to this day.

This TV show didnt turn out like I wanted? I dont care its just a tv show.

My father treated be with hatred all my life? Its okay I dont care about him and I dont want his love anyway.

Like there were other times when I thought I could be happy.

Like I really wanted to go to this boarding school for gifted kids. Again I thought maybe incorrectly that this would be a place where I can belong and not be bullied it was never about being better than anyone.

Again I wanted it I clamored and cried and made noise nonstop. Maybe I still hadnt wholly lost contact with willpower back then. I still thought of myself as strong willed.

And my father made me regret it. It was around the same time that mom briefly considered divorce maybe I was just the stress valve. Or he took it personally as wanting to get away from him. Duh he abused me of course I wanted away from him. He was such a suffocating control freak! Mom said yes first then he spoke to her and suddenly she followed everything he said. Thats when I really realized how emotionally manipulative was how abusive... i mean one of my first conscious memories of him is thinking "oh crap I will be just like cinderella" but he really laid it on so thick so transparently even a 10 year old could tell its manipulation. If you do this you dont love your mom. If you do this you dont love your siblings. If you dont obey me your mom will kill herself. No she wont you jerk even my 2 year old self could tell youre abusive.

The most cruel thing he did was briefly say yes. Again I got so happy. So invested. Just bending all I was towards that even though he bombarded me with abuse and mental torture.

And then on the day we were supposed to leave he said no youre not going.

Maybe I actually did say I didnt want to go because of one time he was doing this constant scientology type torture on me

That same reaction: "I dont want it I dont want anything so please please let me be"

Ppl think of bad childhoods as a game that you win if yoz turn 18 -or 28 maybe - without killing yourself. But its not. Every year you live it can take away from your potential. Every day less than you have to live it

He sure didnt let me have sucess with his overcontrol and abuse. Anything I was proud of he rules. When I graduated from school with a fairly good but not perfevt final score he humiliated me. When I turned 18 he humiliated me. Everything I did was a burden even just feeding and washing me. Hed give me unwanted white elephant gifts then bitch about how giving them to me ruined his life cause he had to work so muxh "Ingrate Ingrate Ingrate" Butch I never asked for anything I want nothing!

But as I had to eat I did in fact have to ask things of him and I hated it so much.

No wonder that I turned out afraid of wanting things eh?

Hed seen some poster when we went to see tje school I wanted to go to - not by the school by an individual student - about the history of abortion portrayed in a positive way or at least that was his official reason why I couldnt go. Again I had wanted something badly with all my being and again all my being availed nothing. Irrelevant like I didnt exist. All my screaming gone unheard.

And this is so silly cause im not a child anymore I have control and if I were to stop procrastinating I could have money and gave even more control.

I havent even spoken to him in years now hes no longer relevant. Its not about him its about thus bad pattern I picked up.

I like how this books handles it with the idea that certain experiences dont create the type but that it nakes you uniquely suceotible to certain kinds of hurt or certain misunderstandings.

Because with all this discourse about bad message free media ive really come to think that while it can and should be minimized its not possible to eradicate cause human mibds are so quicl so fallible to extract overgeneralizations and make it mean something abput themselves

Like an immature statistical learning model easily overtrained by noisy data.

Another time I was nearly happy was when I started looking for work, doing my thesis...

Same pattern I was engaged, happy to be engaged talking to ppl at both work and in the uni work group loving it all so much...

my life had started to feel meaningful again. And it had gotten to that point in part because of my ex-fiance. Yes the councelling heloed taking up meditation helped, getting high on morning glory that one time helped a whole lot got more self esteem from that than I ever got from my father.

But that all started because of my ex fiance.

He was an i tellectual type and he had a sense of purpose about him like hes a legendary character and everyone around him became legendary too. And he found me useful! Others had called me "walking dictionary" with mockery and scorn he called me his google and it meant love and admiration. Maybe I got a bit of an ego trip off of tjat but I also really stupidly dumbtastically loved him I bragged of him to anyobe who listened everything he did seemed fascinating abd interesting and meaningful, but also I just loved the sweet gentle warmth of being next to him in the morning. Once again I was happy and everything was joyful even when it was hard, I felt strong and meaningful and useful and I let myself openly want things.

And then it all blew up. Worse yet i was so mistaken abozt him it really shook my confidence in my own judgement or any sense of clarity. I was si confused during the fucking breakup like I hadnt been since I left my father's house.

Google hah! More like his personal Alexa! It turns out he didnt respect or like me at all.

I couldnt even be sad or angry cause it was all my mistake. The one feeling I allowed - and even that took me weeks to identify - is dissapointment. Heavy leaden dissapointment i didnt even kniw that was a feeling you could feel so strongly. I didnt even do anything wrong you have to open yourself to have love. He could habe choosen to love me he just simply didnt. He probably thought he did but he wouldnt evebn do something as simple as not make fun of my voice or clean when I am sick.

Once he started putting me in the "wife" role he just became unable to see me. His loss really cause I think he wanted to keep me from all those annoying texts and email he had the nerve to write.

By all means I was right to trust but also right to leave later but still my sense of certainty and purpose and meaning was totally shaken. He did the sort of romantic stuff I didnt think was real. I knew I loved him when we had this conversation about water on mars. He got me the perfect books for my birthday! He said I was pretty and a genius and looked just like an actress. He got me this titanic esque heart pendant with stars. We were stuck at midnight in a train station that one time and he pulled out a picnic rug two plastic glasses and a shampain bottle. It never worked out but he said he might take me to see the LHC! I really thought we would be buried in the same hole folks!. He had read that same steven Hawkings book that I loved. One of the rather few books he actually read as I would find. Sigh.

And I fell right back into that same old pattern. Dont care about anything dont want anything it would be stuoid unrealistic and silly to want.

When I first came to uni I also had this feeling of hapiness and belongingness and wanting, I was putting in an effort, talking to ppl more.. and when things went wrong the slightest bit I pulled by hand back from that like from an open flame.

And here I am years later most the sucess or contact I get is comments on my fanfictions.

I thought I was doing that, or drawing, because its Stakes/Evaluation-free (going by the fear of failure theory) or because at least with the ffs gratification/payoff for effort is immediate compared to original stuff or uni work. Its a nice little niche at least.

I mean I do care about it its not "just" distraction but maybe ive been profaning it in that way... and so etimes I dont even do that and go for full unadulterated undebatable distraction; Line to 7 I guess. Tje only reason I spoke face to face to anyone else than the delivery guy this week is that I had some doctors appointments.

But not its distraction from stuff Im too lazy to do or even from pressure like I always thought. But from wanting things.

So the original fiction went great while it was a distraction from school not so much when its one of the things I most want and actually have the time to do it.

Even thought thats the most practiced skill I have that I never stopped working on since I was 10. 🤦‍♀️

I mean they already explained that its basically like meditation. Or weeds. Or popup ads. Youve got to click them away as they pop up.

I always told myself thst I didnt have to be happy... and thats not even untrue actually but it would sure be neat to be happy again one of these days.