#adult x child ships are fucking WRONG

[chocolate-floof]

I cant believe that I'm having to say this so apologies to my mutuals for the ugly post,

But childxadult proshippers,

Dni❤️

I will skin you alive and hang you by your ankles on a meat hook like a fish❤️❤️💋 pedophiles aren't humans every one of you deserves to be put inside of a giant paper shredder.🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️❤️

[angeltism]

i personally do not think selfshipping with an adult if you're under 18 is pro.shipping but okay go off

[hg-aneh]

Hi! I absolutely love all of your art and I’ve been fallowing you for awhile! There’s been some rumors that you ship Muriel x crowley?? Which I guess is an odd paring but nothing terrible wrong with, I was just curious if you do ship them.

Thank you for all your wonderful art <3

okay, i want to preface this by saying that I've already been harassed over this to the point of being called a lowkey pedophile and having every little move of mine scrutinized and misconstrued to sickening extents (this harassment spilled over to my partner too, and it was horrible)

so all anyone would do by doing this again would be repeating history, among other things that have to do with fucking up my already frail mental state

now.

onto the meat

yes, I ship it

no, I do not see Muriel as a child, kid, teenager, or anything of the sort and I find it personally distasteful to think of doing so because infantilizing autistic traits rubs me the wrong way (p e r s o n a l l y)

you can do it if you want to, I have worse things to worry about than a random person on the internet thinking something of a fictional character, just don't try to push your headcanon onto me just because you perceive it that way or because it's a popular dynamic that you find fun

adding onto this, i want to add that i will never and i mean fucking NEVER post anything related to that ship outside of the very specific private Xitter account i created for it

(and my personal facebook, on a friends only setting)

any Muriel & Crowley content outside of that account is all platonic and bla bla you get the gist. I can separate things, what a talent.

Now, I'm being overly paranoid and explaining myself to exhaustion over this for a very good reason and it's because last time someone found out about it ((yes we're going full circle to the beginning of this little bible)) they treated it as some sort of GOTCHA moment about me being a pedo ((and if you didn't know this already: I fucking despise children with my whole being, I'd rather be forcefed alligator shit for my whole life than be with one of those creatures for a single day))

It got to the point of that person making extremely hurtful videos about me and their little friend group comprised of goober eating toddlers joining in on the "Hater" train or whatever the hell that new cultural trend is called, as well

It was hell, that whole experience fucked me up BAD and i feel silly for saying this but it was genuinely traumatic! So- I apologize if I'm sounding confrontational here, anon, but like, this is the type of thing you have to do to keep yourself safe now, it's gone to that point and I'm in hysterics now because what the fuck

Lastly, I'd like to say this one other thing

Muriel is played by an adult actress, they are canonically the same age as Aziraphale and Crowley and are also an eldritch creature just like them

The fact that they're nice and bubbly and happen to have autistic traits doesn't suddenly make them a fetus. I have friends with the same personality type as them and I feel like it'd be dumb to treat them like zygotes knowing they're adults with body hair and debt

Again, if you see them as one, I'm literally no one to judge, I'm 1.49, you're better off taking judgement from a stupid lone penguin in the saharan desert.

But don't fuck with others for thinking otherwise, it's not a moral issue to disagree with a headcanon, please. 🥲

[lolbutjustabit]

I legit don’t understand the Lydia x Beetlejuice ship since Lydia was a child and even as an adult is traumatized by him. He’s a fucking creep!

IKR EXACTLY AWWFWGHHH YOURE SO RIGHT!!! I hate this ship sm cus its literally proshipping dude and people treat it as normal ITS LITERALLY A PROSHIP WTF

"but winona ryder said she always wanted them to be together" SHE DID, I KNOW, AND EW? IDGAF WHAT SHE THINKS, SHE DOESNT OWN THE CHARACTERS DUDE SHES NOT CONFIRMING ANYTHING SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEETLEB*BES SHIPPERS!!!!

"but I drew lydia as an adult" FUCK THAT MAN, SHE DOESNT LIKE HIM AT ALL ANYWAYS

"but she likes him in the cartoon" SHES TWELVE IN THE CARTOON GO FUCK YOURSELF I hate beetleb*bes sm I could spend hours talking ab how wrong and how disgusting it is.

I hate how common it is to find beetleb*bes shippers on the bj fandom too, its honestly so sad, bc imagine someone gen loves bj and tries to enter the fandom only to find a bunch of fanart shipping a damn child with bj istg man

[moncher-ire]

quick rant!! (slight jjk spoilers for Chapter 212) people who sexualize yujikuna or megkuna (not talking abt the ships rn.) are fucking DISGUSTING!! that is still a minors body and i dont wanna hear “b-but the face shape c-change-“ NO i dont fucking care. it doesnt change the fact that is a body of a MINORR “im a minor too!!” doesn’t excuse the fact you ARE sexualizing a CHILD.

megumi and yuji are STRAIGHT out of middle school fucking think about that for a second. it is completely disgusting the things people say about them. even when sukunas not in their body. fucking grow up. this is DISTURBING and WEIRD.

this goes for any minor jjk character too. idc if in your opinion they look older then they are, they are STILL minors.

this also goes for shipping PROSHIPS

adult x minor IS NOT okay. even if your not sexualizing it its plain WRONG.

dni if your okay with this

(i don't have problems with ships like itafushi or other ships with minors and other minors as long as its not sexual.)

[damnfandomproblems]

Hello, I would like to respond to 6727 as somebody who occasionally consumes the type of content op is talking about.

I am a 30-something year old cis bisexual woman. I am lucky to say that barring the usual sexism and minor harassment most women experience, I was never sexually abused so I don't have any sexual trauma that I know of. When I was 7 to 10 I has an intense fascination with sex. Now let me make clear, both in the past and present day I never wished I'd been abused and obviously being a child I didn't realize what sex implicates and that I was years away from even being ready to try it, but a part of me believed I wanted to do it. I would fantasize having sex with grown up celebrities, I would draw people having sex on a secret notebook, I'd pilfer semi-dirty magazines from I don't remember where and cut out pictures of topless and nude models of any gender, stills from dirty movies, miniaturized movie posters where the characters did the do, and make collages in said notebook, those sort of things. I don't know if this is the average experience of any allosexual child, especially a female one, but it is mine. It didn't last long.

I discovered fanfiction and ao3 late by today's standards, in my early 20s. I didn't flock automatically to lolisho. I don't even consume lolisho content that often. What happened is that reading more erotica, some days I would seek fics for, yes, wankbank material. Once again, I didn't end up in the underage tag right away, but eventually by browsing ship tags sorted by word count I was bound to find it. I clicked on the first with a feeling of disgust that I think op shares. That eventually changed. I think people will have realized by now that I don't focus/put myself in the adult's role, but the child's. Reading lolisho allowed me to explore a tiny buried part of my sexuality that I think had gone repressed for a long time, and yes, I could do it without anyone getting hurt.

Shockingly (/s) after almost a decade I never ended up believing that having sex with children or as children is ok. I also developed a mild incest kink and again shockingly, I never came up with the desire to fuck my sibling or any other member of my family. The love of my life knows about this, understands me, and would be willing to try implementing my kinks in our sex life since we've long successfully implemented theirs, but I don't feel the need to ever bring them out of my brain. We don't plan to ever have kids for reasons that have nothing to do with all of the above. I am a normal human with a job, friends and family, well-adjusted as they come, no criminal record, never physically or mentally harmed anyone intentionally or permanently, and my most interesting thoughts when seeing real life children is that they're cute when they're well-behaved, or devil-spawn when they're making a racket.

And yet people like op would call me a pedophile and inherently immoral if they knew what I sometimes imagine, just imagine, during masturbation. When I do not hurt anyone. Fuck's sake, I have been called a pedophile for defending teen student x professor fanfics! Obviously I'm aware that among the lolisho readers and creators there could be real offenders, but the problem here is that people who haven't done anything wrong are all being thrown together with real child molesters and rapists. I am highkey sick and tired of it. I'm even more scared of how so many people believe there is no difference between the two groups.

I'm not even going to address the second point that a ban on lolisho wouldn't affect queer content. I hope op has realized from the replies, if not from the right wing propaganda of these years, how wrong they are about that.

Posting as a response to a previous problem.

[galatially]

❝𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮❞

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — 𝐣𝐨𝐚𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬 x 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 — i don't want to just be a passing ship in the night; what's that tradition about the bridal party? the groomsman and the maid of honor always hook up?

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 — 8.4K

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈, 𝟏𝟖+, strong language, penetrative sex, anal play, strangers to lovers, wedding shenanigans, groom & maid of honor shenanigans, slow burn, slight angst (it's me lol), honorifics (pretty girl, baby, sweetheart, baby girl)

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — yay for this finally seeing the light of day! and i've been to two weddings now so i can write from experience and i'm excited all over again lol. this also was a behemoth so yay for that

The warm summer air kissed along the tops of your shoulders, skirting your coils along in its stride. The low hum of smooth jazz played behind you as you took a sip of the wine you’d been nursing for the better part of an hour and let out a breath. 

You heard your name. “There you are!”

Well, shit. 

You playfully groaned and turned to face your older sister, the soon-to-be Mrs. Samuel Wilson. “Damn it! I thought this was the best hiding place!”

Nikki chuckled and bumped her shoulder against yours. “You haven’t won a game of hide and seek against me since you’ve been born. Give it up.” She tipped her chin to the half full wine glass. “Sam said he saw you knock back two flutes of champagne and then you disappeared. You good?”

“Yeah. Well, no.” You shook your head. “I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t worry,” Nikki said, looping her arm through her yours. “You’re one of the best speakers I know.”

“I guess.”

Nikki knitted her brows together. “What’s wrong?”

Your eyes flitted to the lilac sky. “Do you miss them? Mom and Dad?”

“You haven’t asked about them in years.”

You raised a shoulder. “I don’t know. I was just thinking earlier that you’re getting married tomorrow and that they weren’t going to be here. You’d think that they’d remember they have children for more than two seconds, y’know? Their eldest child is getting married, for Christ’s sake!” 

Arms wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you backward. Though you were several inches taller than your sister, the hugs she gave dwarfed you both. You circled your arms around Nikki’s waist and buried your face in the curve of her shoulder. 

“You’re such a worrier.” Nikki pulled back and put a hand on your cheek. “You are all the family I need to be here. Fuck what anyone else has to say about it.”

“But Sam — ”

“Sam loves me, with or without parents. He knew that coming into this relationship and hasn’t left yet.” Her lips pulled into a half smile. “Besides, who else is going to deal with me post-wedding?”

You gave her a flat look. “Your husband, dumbass.”

“Nope,” Nikki sang. “My loving, favorite baby sister will be.”

“I’m your only sibling, Nik.” You moved out of your sister’s embrace, a smile working its way to your lips. “Now you’re being gooey and that’s gross. We can’t let them know that we actually like each other.”

“Shut up. You love me.” A voice called to her from behind. “I’ll be right there!” She looked back to you. “You going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” You waved her off. “I’ll meet you inside in a bit.” 

“Okay.” Nikki pulled you in for another hug. “Be quick.” She turned and walked to her fiancé’s proffered hand. His gaze found yours for a half a second before he gave her a soft smile. 

You loved Sam; he was the safe harbor that Nikki needed after spending the better part of her teenage and young adult life taking care of you. Of course, Nikki took it all in stride and assured you that she wouldn’t have changed her life for another one. 

But when Sam came into her life, there was someone else to share her burdens with. Someone to confide in with things you couldn’t understand. She found an equal, a man ready to include her in every aspect of his life. You couldn’t have asked for a better partner for Nikki. 

But a part of you — a small, insecure part you often had to force down — felt out of place in their world. You were the kid sister, the child Nikki raised when she was barely older than a child herself. What place would you have in her life once they were married? 

Yes, you’d been on your own for quite a few years since Nikki and Sam met but you always came back home to them. That would all change after Saturday. 

No. 

You were happy, ecstatic. This weekend wasn’t about you and your woes. It was about celebrating two people you loved most in the world. 

Sam called out to you, worry in his tone. 

“Coming!” You took one more look up at the sky before making the trek back to the hotel.

“Whose side are you from?”

You turned towards the voice beside you, your glass hovering in front of your lips. “Excuse me?”

A few errant black curls poorly masked deep-set and sharp dark eyes that burned into yours. Amused by your response, his lips quirked at the ends. “Are you from the bride’s side or the groom’s?”

“Oh.” You set your glass down. “Maid of honor and sister to the bride.”

Recognition colored his features, his index finger raised to you. “Sam told me about you!” 

Your brows pulled down. “That sounds ominous.” 

“No, no! I mean, they were all good things, I swear! Just —” He let out a nervous chuckle. “I’m messing this up.”

“Oh, most definitely,” you said, smiling. “But keep going. I want to see where this goes.”

He smiled and leaned in close, giving you a once over. “How about this?” He held up a hand. “My name is Joaquín Torres. My friends call me Joaco. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

A corner of your mouth quirked up as you took his hand and said your name. “Nice to meet you.”

“So is this your first? Wedding, I mean.”

“It is. None of my friends are anywhere near being ready to walk the aisle,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. “You?”

His smile was bright as he playfully motioned to himself. It did something to you, prickled your skin and tightened your belly. “I’m a professional groomsman.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I don’t know what it is, but whenever my friends get married, they immediately think of me. I’m pretty sure I went to, like, seven weddings last summer.”

You held up your glass to him. “Impressive. Have you ever been best man?”

Joaquín smiled, his right cheek dimpling. “Not yet.”

“Same here.” You clapped a hand to your face. “I mean, that it’s my first time being maid of honor.” 

He laughed quietly. “You’re fine.”

“Please, talk more so that I can push down my embarrassment.” 

“Okay, uh, where are you coming from?” 

“Technically, I’m visiting from Georgia, but I’m from New York. Brooklyn.”

Joaquín raised a brow. “What’s in Georgia?”

You let out a half-scoff, half-chuckle, your index finger circling the mouth of your glass. “I just got out of a shitty relationship with this guy a few months back, so I impulsively took a remote position in Atlanta.”

“Well, that’s…interesting.”

“I have the lovely tendency to fall in love recklessly and hopelessly.” You took a long sip of your drink. “Even if I know that that person doesn’t feel the same way about me.”

He lifted a shoulder. “Beats being so oblivious that you don’t even notice when people like you and you spend most of your time pining over them just for them to say that they were flirting the whole time.”

“If I were flirting with you, you’d know,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. 

Your name left his tongue in a drawl. “Are you coming onto me?”

Your face warmed. You gave a weak snort. “Yeah, right. Don’t flatter yourself.” Joaquín’s knuckles brushed up against the back of your fingers. You gripped your glass tighter. “So, I guess that means we’re aisle buddies, huh?” 

Aisle buddies? Really?

“We are. I promise not to let you fall.”

You raised a brow. “Did you just quote Twilight to me?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He tipped his chin to your glass. “Rum and Coke?”

“Jack and Coke. They only had spiced rum and I’m not a fan.”

“I love a girl who loves her whiskey.” 

You laughed. “You’d have especially liked me in college, then. I was a whiskey drinking machine.” You splayed your free hand along the top of the bar. “Was even known to dance on a few tables.”

“Now that I’d love to see.”

You knocked back the rest of your drink and put a hand on Joaquín’s knee, a smile creeping onto your lips. You were no stranger to a little harmless flirting every now and again. But here, with this bright, infectious man, your words could mean something headier. Something more…suggestive. “Those days are behind me.” 

“Well now I’m sad that I didn’t get a chance to see you in your prime.”

You rested your chin on your palm, giving him a once over. “We can’t be that far apart in age, can we? You’re, like, twenty-nine at minimum.”

Joaquín leaned closer, his cologne permeating your senses. “I just turned twenty-eight.”

“So, a year older, depending on your birthday,” you quipped, “good to know I’m not the only twenty-something in the wedding party.” 

You went back and forth like this for some time. You shared childhood stories of you and Nikki and he told you stories about his and Sam’s time in university. 

“You don’t peg me as the frat guy type,” you remarked at one point. 

“I get that a lot. I was a freshman by the time Sam and Steve were chapter president and vice president, respectively. ” He rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous chuckle passing his lips. “I honestly didn’t think I’d get in. I bullshitted through the rush questions and barely made it through the challenges but, somehow, I got in.”

You smiled. “And made a new friend as dorky as you are.”

Joaquín laughed. “Sam’s great. I couldn’t have asked for a better frat brother. I was really surprised when he asked me to be one of his groomsmen. I haven’t really kept in touch as well as I wanted to, but it’s been great seeing him and hanging out with him again.”

“That’s sweet. His best man, Steve, is the blond, right?”

He nodded. “They’ve been friends since they were in high school, I think. Their friend, Bucky, is also a groomsman.”

“I practically begged Nikki to have one of her friends or her sorors be her maid of honor and she looked at me like I was crazy.”

“Sam said that she basically raised you.”

You shook your head, chuckling. “He’s such a sweetheart. Our parents are narcissists, to put it plainly. They love each other fine, but they couldn’t extend that to us. At first, it was just leaving an eight year old Nikki in charge of a two year old for a couple hours every other week. Then, they wouldn’t come home some days. 

“Nikki made the best of it, though. She’d make sure that I never realized how bad things were until I was old enough to understand. By then, we were living with our grandmother and she finally got to be a teenager, you know?” You dabbed at your eyes. “She took it harder than I did. She knew our parents longer so them leaving hurt her more than it ever could me.”

“I’m sorry.” Joaquín put a hand on your elbow. “Your parents don’t deserve either one of you.”

You waved him off. “I know. I’m just glad that she gets her own happiness for once. Sam’s a good guy.” You gave a light shrug. “And he likes me for some reason which makes me question his sanity.”

“I’ve only known you for,” he glanced at his wristwatch, “a little over two hours and I like you.”

“You barely know me enough to say that you like me.”

“So let me get to know you, then. We have all weekend, don’t we?”

The DJ announced last call and you both locked gazes. Gooseflesh spread along your arms and your heart beat against your chest. Your hand was still above his knee, fingers splayed out wide. Your eyes were on him but focused on hazy thoughts in your head. What would his lips feel like if you touched the very tip of your finger against them? Your lips?

He was probably a great kisser. Dominant, needy —

“Hey.”

You blinked and snatched your hand away. “Sorry! I, uh — just a little tipsy, I guess.”

Joaquín smiled. “It’s fine. I was saying that it was getting late and I could walk you up to your room.”

“No, I’m good. The walk should sober me up some.” You stood up. “It was nice meeting you, Joaquín Torres.”

“You, too. I’ll be the best aisle buddy you’ve ever had.” 

“You’re going to hold that against me all weekend, aren’t you?”

He ran a hand through his curls. “I’m going to run it into the ground.”

You rolled your eyes, a small smile creeping up on your lips, and turned on your heel to leave.

Despite being a tad bit hungover, you were still fairly refreshed.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Joaquín, your mind making him a feature in a hazy dream you half-remembered. There was a genuineness to him that you admired, a warmth that you wanted bask in for a long time. The way that he gave you his undivided attention as you rambled or even when you weren’t speaking made your heart flutter in your chest.

What was that saying about the bridal party and groomsmen at weddings? 

“Nice to see you again, aisle buddy.”

Speak of the Devil. 

Your lips quirked. “Good morning, Mr. Torres.”

He ran a hand through his already tousled hair. Unlike the slicked back style from last night, the longer part of his hair was set in loose curls and fell in his eyes. The barest hint of a five o’ clock shadow lined his angular cheeks and jaw. He was so damn attractive. So unfair. 

“How did you sleep?”

“Very well, thank you.” He gave you a warm smile. “And yourself?”

You hummed as you lifted your shoulders in a shrug. “Pretty good.” You pointed a thumb over your shoulder. “Did you see the omelet bar the hotel has going?”

“I did. I got a veggie omelet and turkey bacon.” He held up his coffee mug. “Did you get any coffee? They said it’s Colombian.”

You shook your head and nodded to your teacup. “I’m weaning myself off of caffeine.” You tipped your chin towards the slip of paper beside his plate. “Is that the itinerary Nikki slid under everyone’s doors?”

“It is. On today’s agenda: ballroom dancing from noon to one; walking tour of the church from one-thirty to two-fifteen; the bridal party and the groomsmen go to their final fittings at three-thirty.” He shook his head and chuckled. “She’s efficient, your sister.”

“She’s been planning this day since she, like, was eleven.” You took a piece of turkey bacon from Joaquín’s plate. You didn’t react to the flit of his gaze as he watched you bring the food to your lips. You chewed slowly, innocently, your eyes on his. 

The faintest hint of a smirk played at his lips. “You enjoying that bacon, sweetheart?”

“Very much.” You licked your lips and threw him a bright smile. “You should ask Nikki her about her wedding binder. She started making it when she was in middle school and finished it before my junior year of high school.”

“Sounds like my cousin, Luisa.” Joaquín playfully groaned. “When she was thirteen, she and my mother spent an entire Sunday afternoon cutting out pictures from bridal and travel magazines and doodling in the margins about her perfect wedding when she got older.”

“That’s adorable.”

“So what about you? Any wedding binders stashed in an old bedroom somewhere?”

“I haven’t put much thought into getting married. I mean, I guess sometime down the line I’d like to get married but maybe not, you know? Maybe I’m not the settling down type.” You lifted a shoulder and looked to Joaquín. “What about you? Is there someone back home you’re ready to settle down with?”

“I don’t know about that but there is someone that I’d love to get to know better.”

You playfully bumped your elbow with his. “Do they have a name?”

Joaquín gave a conspiratorial grin as he raised his mug to his lips. “I’ll tell you later.”

Sam called out to you, cackling. “Lookin’ good out there!”

“Fuck off, Wilson!” 

You turned back to Joaquín, rolling your eyes as the dance instructor yelled for you to loosen up. When you stepped on his foot for the third time, you winced. “Sorry!”

He chuckled as he gave your hips a reassuring squeeze. “You’re fine, Y/N. Just breathe.”

You nodded, your eyes going back to your feet. You don’t know how many months you spent begging your sister to take you out of the dance portion of the reception. Even as children, you were so awkward that you didn’t dare try to mimic the fluid rhythms your sister and cousins displayed. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to switch partners?” You nodded towards one of your sister’s sorority sisters. “Paula is a much better dancer and she’s really funny.”

Joaquín threw his head back and laughed. “I’m sure she’s great but you’ve charmed me from the moment you very brazenly flirted with me at the bar. You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.”

You snorted, small smile growing in the curves of your mouth. “Shut up. You flirted with me first.” 

“There’s that smile.” His fingers tapped your waist. “Follow my lead, okay? I’ve got you.”

The instructor clapped out another eight count and Joaquín swept you off of your feet, literally and figuratively. You beamed as you both glided across the floor, amazed that you hadn’t stopped the beautiful flow he was creating. 

“See? You’re a natural,” he said, pride in his tone. 

His warm gaze took the breath from your lungs so all you could do was nod. 

“All right, class!” The instructor clapped their hands. “That’s all for today! Great job!” They nodded to you and Joaquín. “Especially from you two.” 

Your face burned as your sister and her friends cheered. 

You turned to Joaquín. “You’re a saint, you know that?”

He waved off your words. “You’re not as bad as you think you are. Just got to let those nerves go.” He leaned in closer. “Did you want to grab lunch? There’s a little bistro near the hotel that I wanted to try. “

Nikki appeared suddenly, smiling at Joaquín. “You don’t mind me stealing your partner, do you?”

“Nikki — ”

“Don’t keep her away too long.” He’d said the words so casually, so easy. Like he’d been asked about the weather or what sports team he rooted for. “She still hasn’t told me more about her whiskey weekends.”

Your face warmed as your sister’s wide brown eyes found yours. “Whiskey weekends, huh?”

You ignored her, your eyes on him. “How about dinner instead? Seven okay?”

Joaquín’s cheeks dimpled as he smiled. “Seven is perfect.” He nodded to your sister. “She’s all yours, boss.”

“Bye, Joaquín.”

You grabbed Nikki’s wrist and dragged her towards the exit, her laugh echoing throughout the studio. When you reached the parking lot, you fixed her with a glare. “What the hell was that!”

She feigned surprise. “What?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” She crossed her arms. “Joaco and I are —”

“So, it’s Joaco, now?” You groaned. “C’mon, anybody would have to blind to not see the way you two look at each other! He’s hot, you’re hot. What’s the problem?”

“Not the point,” you deadpanned. “I barely know him. We probably won’t even see each other after the wedding so what’s the point starting something we won’t finish?”

“Who says you won’t finish it? You literally told me last week that you were thinking of moving back.”

“He lives in the city?”

Nikki frowned. “Did he not tell you that? He and Sam work together. He used to live in Arizona but when Sam and Steve asked if he wanted to go into business with them, he relocated.”

That changed things. It had been easier to imagine a torrid coupling that ended with you never crossing paths again, but if he’d be living in the city — working with Sam, whose company wasn’t that far from where you lived — made your belly clench. 

“Huh.”

“Is that a ‘huh, I should listen to my sister for once and ask out the hot best man’ or ‘huh, I’m about to overthink everything because now said best man is going to be close’?”

You flattened your features. “You’re so funny.”

A shit-eating grin stretched across Nikki’s face. “And brilliant and all-knowing. Don’t forget that.” Her smile fell some and she gave you a solemn look. “You know I’m just messing with you, right?”

“I know.”

“Hey.” She put a hand to your cheek. “Don’t do that.”

Your brows canted. “Do what?”

“Make that face,” she gestured with her hands, “and start thinking that something’s wrong with you.”

“Isn’t there? I was with Dante for, what, six months? He’s probably the longest relationship I’ve ever had and I hated every second of it.” You pressed the heel of your palm against your forehead. “Maybe I’m not built for forever, y’know?”

Nikki gathered you into her arms. “You’re nothing like them, do you hear me?” 

“Maybe I am, Nik. Maybe all I want is the idea of someone but not the person themselves. I don’t want to do that to Joaquín. He’s so sweet and funny and I’m just —” 

She pulled back, a smile on her lips. “You have so much love and care to give and anyone would be lucky to get to be loved by you.”

The corner of your mouth lifted. “You’re just saying that.”

“I’m your sister, I don’t have to spare your feelings. But should anything go awry, I’ll be there to protect you and help pick up the pieces.” She held up her pinky finger. “Swear.”

You chuckled and looped your finger around hers. “Swear.”

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?”

Nikki had insisted on taking you shopping for a new outfit and you’d decided on a beautiful, form-fitting brown satin dress that stopped just above your knees and brown chunky platform heels. You kept your makeup fairly neutral and let your curls frame your face and hang down your shoulders and back. Around your neck were a simple gold necklace stack and gold rings adorned your fingers. 

“I’m pretty sure you’ve built my ego tenfold.” Your eyes glanced around the restaurant. “You didn’t say how nice this place was. We could’ve gone somewhere cheaper.”

A wolfish grin curled at the corners of Joaquín’s mouth. “How was I supposed to impress you if I just took you out to a drive-thru?”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Chivalry doesn’t die just because you took me to Wendy’s. But thank you for asking me out.”

“I’m surprised you said yes, honestly.” You scoffed. “Hand to God! You’re one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.”

“I don’t know about that. You and Sam must work with some pretty cool clients at the firm.”

“You’re infinitely cooler, sweetheart. Trust me.”

You pushed down the elation at hearing the pet name and set the menu down. “Tell me about yourself.”

He leaned in close. “What do you want to know?”

“Tell me about your family. Do you have any siblings?”

“No siblings. My dad owns a mechanic shop and my mom and aunt run a small restaurant in Phoenix. I was born in Sonoita, Arizona, this tiny place with less than a thousand people.” 

“Coming to the city must’ve been a culture shock.”

Joaquín chuckled. “Hit me like a fuckin’ brick, let me tell you.”

“So, how’d you meet back up with Sam? I remember you saying that you lost touch after college.”

“After university, I applied to, maybe, fifty positions with over a hundred different corporate firms and I was striking out left and right. Sam messaged me on Instagram a little while later asking to catch up. When he first asked me to join his firm, I tuned him down.”

“Why?”

He lifted his shoulders. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Sam. He’s one of the best guys I know. But I didn’t want him to just give me a job, y’know?”

You nodded. “That’s fair but I don’t see Sam as being the type to hand out opportunities to just anyone. If he offered you a position, it’s because he believes in you.”

Joaquín smiled. “I suppose so.” 

Your server came back with your drink orders. He smiled at you, his notepad in hand. “And are we ready to order? We have a butternut squash risotto as one of our specials, if you’re interested.”

“That actually sounds delicious.” You looked to Joaquín. “Is it okay if I get that?”

“You get whatever you want, sweetheart.”

Your cheeks burned and you, thankfully, didn’t stumble over reciting your order. As Joaquín spoke to the server, you couldn’t help giving him a once over. He wore a navy blue dress shirt that looked painted on, the top three buttons undone. His curls were messily styled and falling in his eyes. His face was clean-shaven save for his goatee and mustache. His big hands were adorned with silver rings. Much like the first night you met, your mouth watered at the thought of those hands on you. How rough or soft they’d feel against your skin. 

His gaze found yours and he winked at you. You needed him carnally. 

“I think he likes you.”

Your brows pulled down. “What?”

“Our server. He hasn’t stopped looking at you since we got here.” He chuckled. “I can’t blame him.”

“You’re doing it again.”

He raised a brow. “Doing what?”

“Flirting with me,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. “Keep doing that and I’ll get the wrong idea.”

“Maybe it’s not the wrong idea. Maybe it’s right.”

“Look, Joaquín, I don’t know if it’s because of the wedding or if this is one of those rom-com scenarios, but I like you. A lot. But I’ve never been good at relationships and I don’t want to ruin whatever this is before it even gets off the ground.”

He put a hand over one of yours. “I’m willing to go as fast or as slow as you want to.”

“And what if you get tired of waiting for me?”

“How about we just get through dinner first, then the wedding, and we’ll meet each other in the middle?” Your food was sat down in front of you but his hand never left the top of yours. “If after this weekend, you don’t want to keep in touch, I won’t be upset.” He cocked his head to the side. “Okay, I might be a little upset but I’ll respect your decision.”

You nodded, a small smile pulling at your lips. “I can do that.”

“Good.” He leaned back into his seat and picked up his fork, his eyes still on you. “Now, I have an important question to ask you.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Okay…”

“Do you like scary movies?”

“What’re you reading?”

You ducked your head between the pages of your book. “Jesus Christ, don’t do that!” 

“Sorry. I thought you heard me coming up behind you.” Joaquín tapped the top of your bare knee with a callused finger. “Must be quite an engrossing read.”

“Something like that.” You slid your glasses to the top of your head. “What are you doing up so late?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I’m a bit of an insomniac. What about you?”

“Nerves.” You held your book up. “Figured I’d finish this book I found in my room.”

“Verdict?”

“I should’ve just gotten a drink at the bar before they closed,” you said, snorting. 

“We can crack open a bottle in my room if you want.”

You raised a brow. “You raid the mini bars at hotels?”

“God, no! That’s a scam waiting to happen.” A smile grew along his lips. “I bring my own poison.”

You raised a brow. “What kind of alcohol are we talking?”

Joaquín leaned in towards you, his voice low and husky. “I’m a whiskey man.”

God, you could get lost in his eyes. Where most people would leer at you or completely ignore you, Joaquín seemed to be looking to the very soul of you. You could’ve told him anything and everything, given him whatever he wanted. 

“And I think I have snacks from my plane ride here.”

You doggy eared your book page and stood to your feet. “Lead the way.”

Joaquín looped his arm through yours and led you down the hallway towards the main lobby. You both must have looked silly to passerby: both of you in pajamas, giggling like teenagers. You caught the elevator just as two people got off and you pressed the seven button. 

Once the doors closed, a tension filled the car. Every so often, one of you would shift your weight and the backs of your hands would brush against each other, both of you muttering hushed apologies to each other. 

Hazy, heated thoughts ran rampant in your mind. Out of your peripheral, you saw Joaquín leaned up against the railing on the right side of the car. Everything about him just oozed sexy: from the way his shirt stretched across his broad shoulders and biceps, to how perfectly his curls fell in his eyes before he pushed it back with one of his strong hands. 

His hands. God, his hands. 

You shifted your weight again, discreetly rubbing her thighs together to diffuse the tension between your legs. The elevator music suddenly seemed louder and deafening. 

“…okay?”

You blinked and turned to Joaquín. He was in front of you now, his hands reaching for you but not quite touching you. Worry painted his features.

“What?”

“We’re on our floor.” His eyes skimmed your face. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, an apologetic smile on your lips. “Sorry, I was just lost in thought.” You cleared your throat and stepped past him out of the elevator. The heat from his body laved against your back. You started towards the left before you turned to look at him over your shoulder. 

“I don’t know where your room is,” you said, your voice small.

Joaquín took one of your wrists in his hand and said, “I’ve got you.”

You decided that you loved the way Joaquín laughed. 

His eyes crinkled at the sides as he clutched his sides. Sometimes a small snort would pass his lips and it made him laugh even harder. He looked boyish, gentle. 

You were sat in the middle of his hotel room floor, the bottle of Jack Daniels between the two of you and the TV turned low in the background. You’d just told him about your first encounter with the Chuck E. Cheese mascot and how the poor then teenager got a swift kick to the groin by an eight year old. 

“God, that was great.” He dabbed at the corners of his eyes. “Do you make everyone you drink with laugh this much?”

You knocked back the last of your glass. “Not intentionally.”

“Funny and beautiful,” Joaquín said, toasting to you. “One of my favorite combinations.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“I only want one to believe me.”

“I want to try something. Is that okay?” He nodded. “I need you to say it out loud.”

“Yes.”

You crawled towards him and experimentally straddled him, your hands on his shoulders. Your heart was pounding and you were getting lightheaded but you held your resolve. “Kiss me.”

One of his hands cupped the back of your neck and pulled you in for a slow, hard kiss. His tongue laved the inside of your mouth and you moaned. Your fingers carded through his curls, pulling him closer to you. Teeth clanged against each other as lips were pulled between them, soft moans spilling into the silent void around you both. 

Joaquín pulled back. “I’ve been wanting to do that since that first night in the bar.”

You smiled. “Me, too.” Your eyes found the digital clock over his shoulder. “It’s late. I should go.”

“No,” he whined, caging you against his chest. “Stay.”

You pressed a soft kiss to his jaw. “I can’t. Not tonight.”

His brown eyes brightened. “So tomorrow night?”

“Maybe. If you behave.” You disentangled yourself from his embrace and stood to your feet. “Goodnight, Mr. Torres.”

“See you in the morning.”

The morning of the wedding started slower than you thought it would have. 

You had been sitting in the makeup chair for ten minutes, waiting for Nikki to emerge from behind the folding screen set up in the middle of the room. The bridesmaids were getting ready in the suite next door and you and Nikki shared this suite. 

“You look beautiful.”

You turned and saw Nikki; her dress was beautiful: the sleeves were delicate lace and looked beautiful against her brown skin. The back of the dress plunged low and fed into the skirt that trailed behind her. She decided to keep her makeup and hair simple with a natural look and her coils swept up into a polished bun. 

You blinked furiously. “You look so beautiful but if I cry, I’m sure the makeup artist will murder me.”

Nikki chuckled. “Me? You look stunning.”

“Compared to you, I look like Ernie from Sesame Street.”

She rolled her eyes. “Take the compliment, you goof.”

You stood up from your chair and pulled her into a hug. “I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m proud of you, too.” Nikki pulled back, her eyes misty. “I couldn’t do any of this without you.” You snorted.  “I’m serious! You might not think it, but you’ve been a huge inspiration to me.”

“Bullshit.”

Nikki laughed. “Remember when we went camping that one summer? With Granny and her boyfriend, Alvin?”

You nodded. “We went hiking while they were taking a nap and got lost.” You had wanted to go find a creek that you’d passed on the way to your camping spot. 

“You were, what, nine? Ten?”

“I was eight and a half,” you said, smirking. 

“We’d gotten lost and I got so scared. I started crying and I think I said Mom’s name.”  Nikki shook her head. “I was crying and tired and the last thing I wanted was to keep getting lost.

“But then you bent down and wiped my tears away. You were barely nine years old and you made sure that I was okay before we finally found a park ranger.” She put a hand to your cheek. “Do you remember what you said to me?”

“I said that we would always have each other. No matter what.”

Nikki nodded. “I know that our childhood was less than ideal, shitty at best. I know that outside of Granny, all we had was each other and that made our relationship a little more complicated than other siblings. But there’s not a day that goes by when I’m not in total awe of you.”

“Oh, yeah, my impulsivity and lacking love life are aspirational.”

“You’re one of the strongest people  I know,” she rebutted. “As much as I raised you, you raised me, too. You taught me about passion and determination. You’ve made me think outside of the box and go after things that I want. You showed me what being a kid was and how we shouldn’t want to grow up too fast. Anything I learned about self-love and confidence, I got from you.”

You tilted your head back. “The makeup artist had me in the chair for forty minutes, Nikki! I can’t cry off all of her hard work!”

She pulled you into a hug. “No matter what happens, no matter what stages of life we’re in, it’s always going to be us against the world. Don’t ever doubt that.”

You nodded against her shoulder. “I love you, Nikki.”

“I love you, too.”

A knock came upon the door and the wedding planner, Natasha, poked her head in. “It’s time, you guys.” A warm smile crossed her lips. “You both look gorgeous, truly.”

“Thank you,” Nikki said. She squared her shoulders and looped her arm with her yours. “We’re ready.”

You were all too aware of Joaquín’s presence beside you. 

It didn’t help that he looked downright sinful in his suit. Did he paint the damn thing on or did it just fit him too well? His hair was artfully messy, curls falling in his eyes. His knuckles brushed up against yours a few times, so soft you’d thought you imagined the contact. 

“You’re killing me,” he said against your ear. 

You arched a brow. “What?”

“It’s taking all of my self-control not to whisk you off to the church basement and have my way with you.” His voice was rough. “Remind me to personally thank your sister for choosing the dress.”

A triumphant smirk colored your lips. “Noted.”

The organ kicked up and Joaquín turned to face you. “Ready?” He held out his arm.

You nodded and looped your arm through his. The ushers opened the doors and you were met with the guests and white rose covered aisle. As you waited for the second to last pair of the wedding party to head down the aisle, Joaquín leaned in towards you again, his breath laving the shell of your ear.

“I won’t let you fall.”

The couple in front of you started down the aisle and you gripped onto Joaquín’s arm tighter. Once the others were further up the aisle, he took a step forward and you followed. Every few steps, you stole glances at him, your breath catching. Once you were at the foot of the altar, he held his arm up for you to stand beside the other bridesmaids and he crossed over to the groom’s side. 

“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this lovely couple.”

Joaquín caught your eye as the pastor continued his speech. His happiness shone so bright on his face that you couldn’t help but mirror it. You like the rest of the crowd, were brought to tears by the Sam and Nikki’s vows and cheered like sports fans when they kissed as man and wife. 

As they were about to step down from the altar, Nikki pulled you into a crushing hug. She whispered teary thank-yous and pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

“I love you. So much.”

You looked over your sister’s shoulder to your newly minted brother-in-law. “See you for dinner in two weeks?”

Sam smiled and took hold of your wrist. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

You needed an out. Quickly. 

Your speech at the reception had most of the room in tears and a few of the wedding party members congratulated you off to the side. When it was time for the waltz, the tension between you and Joaquín was smoldering and all-consuming. All you could think about was his lips on yours. 

Before Sam and Nikki made their way to the middle of the dance floor, Joaquín whispered in your ear, “You have two hours.”

“For what?”

“Until you’re mine for the rest of the night.” The noise that left your throat was suffocated by the cheers and applauds for the bride and groom but you knew that he heard it. He moved to go sit at his table before you could get the words off of your tongue. 

You kept up appearances as well as you could but during lapses in conversation, your attention wandered to Joaquín. He teased you, subtly biting and licking his lips or giving you quick once overs as he spoke to some distant relative of yours. 

Nikki and Sam gave were basking in their marital bliss and, thankfully, didn’t notice the two of you shamelessly flirting from across the ballroom. 

The evening died down and Joaquín offered to walk you back to your room. You agreed, ignoring the teases from Nikki and Sam, and let him lead you out of the ballroom. Once the elevator doors closed, his hands were on your skin. Hot, open-mouthed kisses scorched the curve of your neck and shoulders. Hands buried themselves into your hair, holding you firm against the man in front of you. 

You didn’t remember how you’d gotten to his floor without bumping into other guests or falling over each other, but you did. The beep of Joaquín’s keycard unlocking the suite door made your heartbeat kick up. 

“That dress is sinful on you, you know that?” 

“Wait, wait.” You pulled back. “Help me out of this dress. It cost a fucking fortune.”

“My pleasure.” His fingers deftly worked at the buttons on the back of your dress. Once the garment loosened against your shoulders, his fingers hooked around the straps and slid them down slow. Soft kisses peppered along the back of your shoulders. “Such soft skin you have.” 

You leaned into his touch, a soft groan falling from your lips. Cool air gave your skin gooseflesh and you shuddered. Your dress pooled around your ankles and you were clad only in your lingerie. You smirked at his sharp inhale. To know that someone as gorgeous as Joaquín Torres was taken aback at the sight of your half-naked body emboldened you. 

You tipped your chin. “Kiss me.”

He took your face in his hands and leaned in. His lips hovered over yours, barely skimming the flesh. He was teasing you, you knew that. What you wouldn’t have given to just melt into his touch and be the first to kiss him. But you cut your gaze between his lips and his eyes, silently daring him to make the move. 

He chuckled. “You’re a stubborn one, aren’t you?”

You ran your thumb along the length of his hand. “Determined, actually.”

“You know that you could kiss me first.”

You let out a breathy sigh. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Joaquín smirked and pressed a bruising kiss to your lips. His tongue laved across the top of yours and his moans vibrated through you. His hands brought your face closer and deepened the kiss. “Jesus, doll, you taste like heaven.”

You rested your forehead against his to catch your breath. You tried to think of something to say, anything to say, but your mind was fogged from kissing him. 

He moved you towards the bed and laid you down, kneeling in between your thighs. “I want to taste you.”

You shivered at his words. “Do you?”

One of Joaquín’s hands skimmed a languid trail between the valley of your breasts. His fingertips danced a trail along the soft expanse of your torso, earning him soft gasps and caught sighs. When his fingertips hovered above the waistband of your underwear, his brown eyes met yours again. “Or perhaps I should tease you? Make you beg?”

“I don’t beg.” Your voice was breathy, weak, as you spoke. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” He was mocking you, teasing just as you’d done to him moments earlier. His fingers dipped below the elastic, tip-toeing across the top of your pubic mound. Your hips bucked and his lips split into a cocky grin. 

“My, my, aren’t we eager?” The very tip of his middle finger hovered above your clitoral hood, tracing a half-circle along the skin. Joaquín looped an arm around your waist to keep you balanced and made slow, teasing circles against your clit. 

You screwed your eyes shut and sank your teeth into your bottom lip. A moan threatened to pass your lips but you stifled it. Your fists balled against Joaquín’s shoulders as ripples of pleasure surged through you. “Joaco.” 

“I can get used to you calling me that.” His lips trailed along the curve of your jaw. “I bet you’re all wet for me, aren’t you?” Two fingers entered your sex and made a come hither motion. A shock of pleasure rocked you and you let out a moan. “Love how wet you are for me.”

You tried to speak his name but garbled moans left your tongue instead. A warm slickness played at your clit and you let out a cry. 

“You taste so sweet, darlin’,” he said against you. “Bet I can make you come all over my tongue.” 

Your back arched off the bed and your mouth hung open in wild pleasure as Joaquín ate your pussy like it was his favorite meal. Your toes curled against his back and your thighs all but crushed him against you. 

“Fuck, Joaquín, don’t stop!”

He moaned against your sex, the sound of your wetness and his tongue lapping bounced off of the walls. He lifted up and smiled a devilish smile at you. “Such a good girl getting wet for me like this. Making such a pretty mess.” He nipped at your inner thigh and kissed the bruises he left behind. His thick fingers gathered some of your juices and traveled down to play at your asshole. He groaned at how pretty and puckered it was. “Such a pretty little hole.”

One of his digits pushed against the puckered hole and your back arched up again and a throaty moan left your mouth. 

“Fuck!”

“You like that, darlin’? Like when I play with your ass?” He worked his finger further into you and another cry broke from your lips. “Your pretty pussy is weeping. Do you play with your asshole when you’re alone, baby girl?” He kissed up your body, lips latching onto one of your pert nipples. 

You fisted the sheets and bucked your hips as Joaquín stretched and finger fucked your ass. Tears welled in the corners of your eyes and broken cries of his name filled the room. For a second, you remembered you were in a hotel room and that whoever was in the rooms opposite them could hear you getting absolutely destroyed.

Hope they’re enjoying the show, then.

Your belly tightened and your legs shook as your orgasm rushed through you. A broken sob ripped through you and you flattened on the bed, shivering and sweat-slicked. Joaquín’s fingers left your ass and he slanted his mouth over yours.

“Oh, my pretty girl.” He pushed away tendrils of curls that were stuck to your forehead. “How did I get so lucky to find you?”

You gave a weak chuckle. “You’re one of my brother-in-law’s best friends. The cosmos saw something in you. Take your pick.” You heard the clicking of his belt buckle and your mouth watered. 

“Think you can play a little longer, baby?” He lined himself up with your pussy. “Because I’ve been waiting to feel you around my cock for the past twenty-something hours.”

A wicked glint flashed in your brown eyes. “What are you waiting for, then, Torres?”

He didn’t need to be told twice. He lined the head of his cock with your pussy and sank deep inside of you. You threw your head back in pleasure as your walls fluttered around him. 

“You’re real fuckin’ tight, honey. Feels so good.”

Your nails bit into his shoulders as you bucked your hips into his. “Fuck me, Joaco.” 

His hips moved against yours slow at first. He circled his hips and thrusted in and out of you at a torturous pace. He snickered at your needy whines and mewls. “Such a greedy pussy you have.” His hips snapped against yours and you gasped. “Makes me think nobody treats your pretty pussy like they should. Is that what it is, baby?”

Your head lolled from side to side and your words faded into moans. Then, his hips rutted into you at a brutal pace and a swelling orgasm built in your belly. Spots darkened your sight and one of your hands fisted his hair. “I’m going to cum!”

Joaquín took his lips from the hollow of your neck. “I’m almost there, baby, hold on.” He pressed his forehead against yours and rutted harder into you. When his thrusts got sloppier, he let out a groan and you felt his cock twitch inside of you as you chased after your own climax. 

He collapsed on top of you, hard pants mixing with soft chuckles. He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to the apex of your collarbones. “Nikki said something about you moving back to the city.”

You hummed. “She told me that you were planning to stay in the city.” 

“I technically moved back a few weeks ago. I haven’t told Sam or Steve yet.”

You brushed a few curls from his sweat-damp forehead. “I might need a place to crash for a few days until my stuff arrives.”

One of his hands gripped your ass, softly kneading the skin. “Or you could stay for as long as you want and we could see where this goes.” 

“You’re sure?”

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “I’ve never been more sure about anything else. I meant it when I said that I think you’re incredible. If I can keep you with me for as long as I can, I will.”

You smiled. “Okay.”

“Seriously?” He cupped your cheek, your name a light chuckle on his tongue. “You want to try with me?”

As you opened your mouth to answer, a knock came upon the door. Joaquín groaned and rested his head against your shoulder. “It’s probably a noise complaint.”

“You go answer, then. It was mostly you.” You smacked him in the face with a pillow. “Fine, fine! I’m getting up!” You let out a low whistle as he padded across the room, completely naked, and went to open the door. You couldn’t hear who the other voice was but you figured it wasn’t serious from Joaquín’s belly laugh. 

“Who is it?”

He shut the door and came back into view, your sister’s bouquet in his left hand. “I don’t know if I should laugh or be offended.”

You rolled your eyes. “They think they’re so funny.”

“I don’t know, baby, maybe we’ll be next.” Joaquín set the bouquet on the nightstand and climbed back into bed, pulling you against him. “I think we’d make a great married couple.”

“Let’s get through me staying with you before we jump straight to marriage, Casanova.”

“You didn’t say no.”

You smiled. “We’ll discuss it.”

𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — not gon' hold y'all, this made me fall in love with joaco something fucking fierce

[shadowwolfmemes]

Proship just means you don't harass people over fiction. If you think this is a bad thing, then there's something very wrong with you.

So being against minor x adult ships makes ME the bad guy? Are you saying I'M the delusional one when I say that incestual shipping is disgusting?

I guess I'm the villain for not supporting your piece of shit fantasies that are mostly ILLEGAL. It doesn't matter if it's fictional, it's still disgraceful to humanity to jack off to minors being raped.

If you think mouth fucking your relatives is hot or believe a literal child being forced to deep throat an adult kidnapper is sexually arousing, YOU'RE the problem, not me.

All I'm doing is saying how uncomfortable shit like that makes me and I'm allowed to express it. If you can't handle it, then don't come crying to me like it's my fault that you'll rot alone.

[herrling]

since I'm already mad here's some yapping

can't get over that there are people who claim to be 25+ and go with shit like "proshipping is a part of pro kink" or that being proship/profic equals being anti censorship and anti harassment

SUR FUCKING PRISE IT DOESN'T!!!

I genuinely think that censorship is bullshit as well as kinkshaming if stuff happens between two consenting adults, and I do think harassment never does anything good in society, but I also think that if you find a ship of a child and adult (plus if it's their fucking relative) uwu cute or hot or both you need fucking professional help!!! :D

"fiction doesn't affect reality" is a shitty excuse. oh my god they act like they're so smart and open minded and progressive (by accepting creeps? okay) yet they can't fucking spend 5 minutes to google how propaganda works. I wonder why people make educational cartoons for kids of fiction doesn't affect reality hmmm

and, at the end of the day, if fiction doesn't affect reality, why are you so obsessed with your kawaii underage x adult yaoi? seems like fiction gives you irl serotonin huh?

i fucking can't these people create full blogs like they're some sex ed professors and go full "🤓☝️" when they see an anti and yet they just fucking CAN'T sit and think "hmmm maybe I might be wrong somewhere..." before posting their top 10 reasons why they support enjoying fictional inc3st and why antis are evil and dumb

[xxduncandonutxx]

The proshit discourse is so funny to me because, you would think it would be obvious for the disgusting freaks of nature to know that "Hey, drawing problematic ships and such is... well, problematic" but I guess not.

Content warning: mentions of pedophilla, further discussive about proshitting, incest and so on.

Like, Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying YOU CAN'T write problematic or dark stories and subject matters but if you are going to romanticize them or treat them as a cutesy thing then that's when I'll have a problem. You need to handle heavy subject matters respectfully, don't be like Reitanna Seishin who admitted to enjoying same-sex incest and had written a story where a baby was born with a sexual addiction to the point that if the child doesn't do anything it'll have seizures and pass out (yes, that's an actual story that she is writing). I also seen proshitters trying to use so many excuses of why they make that sort of content, one of the comment excuses is "To deal with trauma" or even "My therapist says that I'm allow to draw/create this content because it helps me". Which if that is the case then... why not do it on a private account or away from the public? Because if you are going to draw proshit stuff or write proshit stuff as a way to cope with what happened to you in the past, you should do it in private because by posting it in the public you are feeding predators and abusers (or future abusers) this sort of stuff or even making the child think that this stuff is "okay" and "normal" (just like what happened to me in the past where unfortunately, I met a couple of people and use to listen to a certain YTber [*cough cough* reitanna seishin] and was convince that incest is "fine" as long as it's same sex couples... thank god I never wrote or created art of same sex incest or anything but still, it fucked me up and opened to me being groomed online). I highly suggest reading this comic which expands further on the topic.

Also as for the whole "Oh my therapist suggest me to write and draw this stuff" ....find a new therapist please. Because if that's really the case, that is very concerning if you're therapist is telling you to draw that shit and post it to the public. Because, I never heard of a therapist telling their patients to post cp or proshit content in the public where potential creeps can jack off to it... EDIT 31/07/24: Ummm... I just remember that I "did" made same sex incest art but it wasn't really art, it was a mlp next gen adoptable I made when I was younger... reminder, I was being influenced by certain users on deviantart (unoriginai and i forgot the other person's user) and the fact I was listening to Reitanna's stories about Jin and Gin (i think that's how you spell their names) and her rambling about how it's "fine" to create mlm/wlw incest. I did eventually I did "stop" by stop I mean someone suggested me to NOT call them next gens and call them fusions instead which I did, to this day I never made any fusion adoptables or next gens that were literally sibling x sibling or child x adult instead I just made normal next gen adoptables after I was kicked off of Deviantart and lost contact with my groomer(s) and one of my friends actually coming to me concern and explaining to me that this shit is not okay

[cherrypopc0la]

I just saw a post about pr0sh!p!ng, if anyone is on my blog and supports it, please unfollow me. Proshipping is when you ship everything including illegal content such as child x adult, inc3$t, encourage r@pe, z00ph!l!@, and n3cr0ph!l!@. I don't want that anywhere near me.

Yes, aging up a child character for purposes that are nsfw or ship related is proship, that's grooming and weird.

You can ship anthro animals with human, that's not pr0sh!p for the anthro person contains human characteristics and is sentient enough to consent.

Do you know who can't consent? Feral animals like the animals we have irl, minors under the age of 18, corpses, and people who say no because they don't want to partake in whatever is asked of them.

Fiction affects reality and children are on all social media platforms, children are easily influential and can potentially normalize disgusting and illegal behavior after seeing other people treating it like it's normal. Do not give me, "dead doves don't eat" bullshit, if you don't want your content to be seen by those who know is morally wrong, DO NOT POST IT AT ALL. Pr0sh!pp3r$ need to seek professional help before posting online and influencing children.

Keep your filth away from the internet. Using illegal behavior as a "coping mechanism" is false and only encourages it.

I used to be one of those children who normalized it while being abused, but I learned that it wasn't normal on my own and changed as a person. This behavior isn't normal, it's gross, it's traumatizing, fuck I didn't want to be reminded. Fuck fuck.

Please keep yourself safe on the internet, don't forget to use the filtering system on social media apps to protect yourselves, it censors the content for you so you won't have to see it... I think I'm going to take a break... I was really looking forward to making something for this blog to celebrate Halloween, but I didn't want to be reminded of my trauma.. I hate the internet sometimes..

Edit: pr0sh!pp!ng is not controversial, it's disgusting, morally wrong, and downright illegal. Please do real research on how things can affect others before posting. That's why I don't post nsfw on a blog where I know minors follow and interact with me. I don't want to do to others with what others had done to me when I was younger. Fiction affects reality no matter what, and traumatized victims can be the aggressors.

Here's a link to further explain things. Viewer discretion is advised.

[chaoticbardlady99]

Lethal Woman: Chapter 5 (GN! Reader x Astarion)

  Note: I know a lot of people don't necessarily read this piece of my work, but for the people who do, I'm sorry for the wait! This one is kinda angsty and still digs into the character's background. I want to create a Durge x Astarion type of relationship rather than a Tav x Astarion type of relationship so the character has some trauma.

Also this character is my way of working through my own traumatic experiences so I guess sorry????

CW: Violence, Gore, mention of Child/Teen SA (very very brief), death, torture, PTSD, murder, dissociation, and panic attacks.

Background- You are a Nightmask Death Bringer who was kidnapped by a Nautiloid Ship. Along with 6 strangers, you search Faerun for a cure for the Tadpoles in your heads- before it’s too late.

Chapter Six

You have never enjoyed verbal confrontation- not because you weren’t good at it, but because it feels like a waste of time when it’s so much easier to throw knives at the problem. You know that it comes from a place of survival- arguing with Dahlia always ended in you being tortured for however many days or nights she felt like you deserved. You learned to stop arguing after the first few months of your training and just do what Dahlia told you to do.

The only verbal confrontations you have engaged in recently was during your assignments, but they were always brief and forgotten quickly.

However, your argument with Astarion three days ago has consumed your every waking thought. 

  You honestly weren’t sure what chain of events had led to the explosive discussion involving confronting the three Goblin Leaders when the day had started so typically.

You and your companions (minus Astarion) all agreed that going to the grove to fight Kagha is a priority and that they couldn’t allow the Shadow Druids to take over the grove. Astarion, however, hadn’t seen it that way. He kept insisting that it was a waste of time, resources, and energy. You didn’t mind the bitching at all- you weren’t necessarily thrilled about “saving the day” either and if it were just adults you would walk away from the whole ordeal- except there are children who need to be protected. 

 It’s your one and only rule- you do not abandon children in need. You don’t want anyone to ever fall into the wrong hands like you had. Eventually, Astarion stopped being huffy.

The fight had erupted quickly and Kagha had managed to slip into the shadows unnoticed in the midst of the chaos. You had barely seen her in time when you realized she was going to run Astarion through with a stake. 

 You had never sprinted so fast in your entire life as you put yourself between him and Kagha, grabbing the stake that was mere inches from your chest. You would have felt entirely victorious if she hadn’t then stabbed you all the way through with the shortsword she had attached to her belt- twisting it deeply into your abdomen until you release the stake. You feel her pull the sword out before stabbing you through your chest with the sharpened wood. 

 You had always thought stabbing a vampire with a stake as a tried and trued method of killing them was stupid- anyone would die if they were stabbed hard enough with a WOODEN FUCKING STAKE. 

  Maybe Dahlia was right- maybe being attached to people is a bad idea because you hadn’t even taken a good look at Kagha before you ran (which is reckless and not how you were trained to fight). 

  You had heard Shadowheart scream your name and saw two flaming hands go past your face as they consumed Kagha. The black dots in your vision had been followed with the unpleasant numbness that you knew all too well. 

 The fear sank into your bones like an anchor. Your breathing had begun to speed up and you felt the panic rip through you as you were being dragged away- unpleasant images flash in your mind and you started to thrash against the person holding you. You began screaming bloody murder and you clawed at the air like a trapped animal. You could barely hear the person’s voice over your looping thoughts and racing heart.

    No, no, no, no, no. Please. I’ll listen. I’ll do anything, just don’t kill me. Don’t leave me here. I’ll do better. I’ll be better!

   You hadn’t known until the end of the battle that Astarion had been the one carrying you away and had to hold you down as Shadowheart and Nettie came rushing to your aid after the final enemy went down.

  You could hear two voices trying to snap you out of whatever fear driven fog you were in, but you were still choking on your own air, floating away in space. Disconnected. Disassociated. You felt the tadpole wiggle behind your eyes, but you were too far gone in your head to even register it.

  Dahlia had killed and resurrected you a few times as a punishment. Sometimes she would leave you out in the sun for a few days before resurrecting you- the process of your skin, organs, muscles, and tendons repairing themselves after being eaten by critters and bugs is a different kind of pain- one you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. What was even worse was that Dahlia eventually found out how to bring you back just enough that you were aware of the vermin desecrating your body, but not enough for you to do anything about it- forced to feel yourself becoming nourishment for the creatures in the forest as you struggled to survive mentally. 

  Dahlia threatened to turn you into her spawn if you didn't remain half way in your body until she came back to get you. You knew her threat was serious because she had taken you coffin shopping after the first time she killed and resurrected you. You had gone for a wood one so that the endeavor could be over with, but Dahlia instead made you lay down in every coffin on display in the showroom- ultimately picking a gaudy, lockable, and iron coffin for you. You were 13-years-old. 

   Dahlia enjoyed driving you to the brink of insanity- only to come back and be your savior or your villain. Somehow she had convinced you that it’s entirely up to you what version of her you received, but it never mattered how well you listened sometimes. She told you you wouldn’t know when she would decide you were past the point of no return and no longer had any use for you as a Deathbringer. Thank the Gods she wanted to make you a Deathbringer more than she wanted you to be her spawn.  

  You weren’t sure when Nettie had forced an herb into your mouth that calms you down; you had eventually come back to yourself just enough to stop fighting her and Shadowheart’s efforts to heal you. 

  Karlach was sitting next to your head and was talking about nothing and everything. Astarion had sat himself on the staircase nearby and you could feel his eyes boring into you as you flinched away and hissed from the healers’ touch. You tried to make yourself smaller, your anxiety getting worse by the minute. It wouldn’t bother you usually, but you weren’t of sound mind in that particular moment. 

 As you became more alert, you made eye contact with Astarion and you were shocked to see him staring at you with anger and grief in his eyes. 

  You hadn’t known (and still didn’t know) that Astarion had been in your head using the tadpole to try to snap you out of whatever hell you were in and he had seen all of it- every last thing Dahlia did to you. The time she hired a man to violently take your virginity after your first moon blood at 14, the resurrections, the priests of Loviatar that would come for days on end to beat you until you wanted to die, and Tessa. Poor, sweet, beautiful Tessa with her mangled corpse and heart being eaten. 

   The walk to camp had thankfully been an easy one. Gale had thankfully had dinner ready by the time your group came back and you sat around the campfire to have dinner with the others. Astarion sat next to you and you couldn’t help but notice how rigid he was. He would usually have his leg touching yours and he would lean in to whisper some snide remark in your ear about whoever was talking- forcing you to suppress laughter as to not bring attention to the two of you.

 Except for tonight apparently- he hadn’t even spoken to you the entire time and made sure there was a considerable amount of distance between you and him. Then the argument happened.

  Wyll and Gale had brought up the plan to take out the Goblin leaders and find Halsin. They had gathered information about the leaders at the grove from Zevlor and had a plan in mind.

  Wyll suggested that everyone split up so that more ground could be covered faster and it would prevent anyone from burning out since they wouldn't be participating in three (possibly four) separate battles. 

 “So I was thinking that Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion would take on Minthara. Myself, Gale, and Lae’zel will take on Dror Ragzlin,” Wyll paused before looking at you, “and if you are up to it in the next three days- I think it would be best if you kill the Priestess and then jailbreak Halsin alone.”

 “That way, we can all remain somewhat under the radar while we are gathering information regarding the Absolute and their Cultists,” Gale chimed in, “and hopefully we will get substantial information before you charge into battle with Halsin.” 

  You pondered their vision and it made sense to you. Priestess Gut would be an easy kill and you can’t imagine that the Goblins guarding Halsin will be much of a challenge either. Except you were unsure of how much better you would feel within 3 days.

 “I don’t have a problem with it,” you said slowly, “does anyone ob-”

 You didn’t even get a chance to finish before Astarion began ripping into Wyll and Gale’s plan- specifically the part about you being alone. He had stood up and gotten into Wyll’s face as he rose to meet the other man's eyes 

 “What kind of moronic plot is that,” Astarion hissed, “they’ve been injured you ignorant fucks.”

 “Astarion,” you said with an edge to your tone.

  He whipped around with that same anger and grief he had looked at you with earlier.

 “You honestly believe you’ll be ready in three days to take on an Absolute Priestess and a group of Goblins by yourself?”

 “Yes, in fact, I do,” you stood up, your voice firm, “I’ve been hurt worse and been able to keep fighting after one day. What happened today-” 

 He cut you off with a growl, “I knew you were naive, Darling, but I didn’t realize how dense you are.” 

 You frowned and said in a whisper, “I don’t know what the word means.”

 “Simple-minded, brainless, dull-witted,” he retorted, “must I continue or are you educated enough to understand what I’m trying to say.” 

You were not made to be loved- only to kill, die, and serve.

You felt your brain disconnect from your body as you swallowed down the emotions. You watched as something in his eyes changed, but you had begun walking away towards your tent. You heard Karlach scold him, but you were already shaking it off- like you said, you’ve experienced worse before and have been able to keep going the next day.

  It didn't change the fact that his words had broken you- he knew that not being able to read or write was a sore spot for you. It was also something you didn’t want to publicize to your other companions. You had been staying up together at night- him reading to you and you listening- making the occasional comment or asking a question. Sometimes you just listen to him tell you about Cazador and Baldur’s Gate. If you fall asleep, he doesn’t move you- instead he sits next to you until you wake up and you walk back to camp together.

You had thought those moments were sacred and important to him like they were to you. You were ashamed to discover it had been an act the whole time and you had been naive enough to fall for it.

 Over the next three days, you avoided him like the plague and he avoided you too. Your nightmares have come back in full force now that your nightly ritual has ceased. Your injury has healed almost entirely despite the occasional soreness, but you are so tired you are barely present as you and your companions walk towards the Goblin Camp. 

  Karlach is your angel from the Hells today as she keeps your spirits high with her bright demeanor. 

 “Soldier, I am so excited for you to see my infernal engine in action,” she puffs out her chest with pride, “Dammon’s explanation doesn’t even begin to do it justice- even if he says a lot of pretty words with that nice mouth of his.”

 “Thank you for that Karlach,” you say with a snort, “been imagining what other talents his mouth has?”

  You begin to cackle as Karlach turns even more red before giving you a shove. 

 “Ughhh have mercy on me! He’s just so pretty and his voice!,” she whines with a dramatic, angsty sigh, “A girl can dream.” 

 “Or a girl can put on her big girl panties and ask to fuck him already.”

 “Oh, SHUT UP you vulgar-!” she puts you in a headlock and scratches the top of your head with her knuckles- effectively ruining your hair, but putting the biggest smile on your face. 

 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

   Astarion watches you laugh and dick around with Karlach. He feels the corners of his lips tease into a small smile before he begins to frown again. He notices the dark circles under your eyes and the slight drag in your step, but he doesn’t even know where to begin if he was to approach you.

  He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s missed your presence and your nightly rendezvous together. Truth be told, a part of him is fearful that he’ll never be able to have those moments with you again. 

   His anger had been misdirected at you that night at the fire. He had been so angry with himself (and those dipshits, Wyll and Gale) that he had taken it out on you.  Instead of asking you to take care of yourself or refusing to let you go alone, he decided to publicly shame you.

 The first night you didn’t show up at your agreed-upon spot had twisted his heart and no matter how much he tried to ignore it, the feeling came back the second and the third night too.

  He hasn’t cared for someone like this in the last two centuries and he hates it. The last three days had been hell- he followed you every time you left camp to go hunting, check traps, etc. He would give you your privacy of course if you were going to bathe in the river, but even then he would anxiously look around camp until you came back. He tells himself it’s because he knows you are his best chance at being free of Cazador- that he is merely worried for your safety and cares because without you, he doesn’t stand a chance. 

Then there is the part of him that has begun to crave your company just as a companion and he enjoys the friendship between you. This part of him feels like just being your friend will never be enough. 

He refuses to admit his plan may be falling apart, despite it barely beginning. Thankfully, his feelings of self-loathing are keeping him preoccupied.

   He despises himself for being so blind to the fact that you and your nightmares were not from the tadpole, but from the abuse inflicted upon you by that wretched woman- Dahlia. Even thinking her name made him see red and filled him with bitter rage.

  He remembers the night he told you about Cazador burying him alive for a year. He remembers how you had said you understood how he felt and how he had gotten upset with you. You didn’t correct him- didn’t tell him that you have been in a similar situation. He doesn’t know which is worse- being buried in shadows, confined for a year or being left out in the sun to slowly rot and be eaten away. 

  He wishes you had corrected him, but maybe you felt like he couldn’t protect you due to his own history of abuse. Maybe he had made you feel like your pain didn’t matter to him.

  Then, when you began thrashing around in his arms, he had never felt more powerless as he watched you disappear inside your own head like he has done many times. He ground his teeth every time you flinched away from Nettie and Shadowheart. His mind insisted on reminding him of how you looked at him with so much fear and rage while he held you down; how it felt watching your memories- your pain- being ripped open all because you decided to protect him. Again. 

 Then his attempt to protect you failed because he ultimately pushed you away, but maybe that is for your own good too. However, you pushing him away has not changed his plan for today’s fight.

  He will not be going with Shadowheart and Karlach. He had initially planned on approaching them about this, but they came to him first- asking him to hang back with you, undetected, then meeting up with them later. Karlach and Shadowheart told him that they were just as upset with Gale and Wyll’s plan and were going to object before he stepped in. 

 He’s the only one who has a ring of invisibility and the stealth to keep you from suspecting you are being ‘babysat’ as he had overheard you call it when Karlach had suggested she come with you. 

  The goblins outside of the camp had been easy to bypass- Astarion had even convinced the goblin to kiss his shoe (which earned a hushed laugh from you that made him hopeful). Astarion watched as you caught and helped the Owlbear Cub escape, but on the opposite side of that coin, you managed to get Volo in more trouble. 

   You convince Wyll to hold off on the plan until you are able to free Volo- seeing as leaving a famous bard to die at a Goblin Camp would not bid well for the Night Masks and that would not be doing you any favors. Astarion was shocked when Wyll expressed understanding. 

  Astarion, Shadowheart, and Karlach go with you as Gale, Wyll, and Lae’zel search for Dror Ragzlin.

  The rescue mission quickly turns into another rescue mission when your small group stumbles across a man being tortured by Goblins. Astarion is quick to convince the goblins that they were being summoned elsewhere and, at your behest, he frees the battered man after he gives you more information about the Nightsong. 

   The Goblins had mentioned a man in the next room over so Astarion begins to walk in that direction and you follow him closely- your hand hovering over the hilt of your dagger as you scan the area cautiously.

  Astarion rounds the corner and sees a man that looks like he needs more iron in his diet. The all black garb was not helping and honestly? Neither is the haircut. 

  The man turns and scans the group before his eyes settle on you. Astarion feels his stomach turn as the man gives you a wickedly happy grin. Astarion moves closer to you and eyes the man cautiously, leering at him in the process.

 “I remember you,” the man says, “you’re Dahlia’s little brat, are you not? I remember the first time we met- your screams were positively delicious.” 

  Astarion hears your breath hitch. You are frozen in place, fingers trembling slightly as you fix your posture and take a deep breath. Astarion watches mournfully as you lose yourself in your head.

 “Hello Abdirak.” 

  Abdirak’s smile grows even wider at your empty greeting.

 “What a blessing it must be- for us to meet again, Rowan. Won’t you join me in worshiping My Lady?”

 Shadowheart pipes up, “I didn’t know you were into such things Rowan. I would love to see a demonstration.” 

 “Absolutely not,” Astarion hisses.

 “I’ll do it.” 

 He whips around to look at you as you walk up to the wall. He watches as you take each hit, but you are goading the man the entire time. The throws get more and more painful to watch and he hears Karlach take sharp breaths every time an ax sticks in your back. You walk back over and let Shadowheart heal you as she praises you for your vigor. Astarion uses every last bit of restraint he has to not punch Shadowheart in the jaw.  

  You look distant as you drink a healing potion from your pack before turning back to Abdirak as he spouts on about his wonderful “memories” of worshiping with you. Astarion's hands go to his dagger as he gears up to kill the man.

A flash of movement from your direction prevents him from moving forward.

 Astarion wasn’t prepared for you to cut the man’s throat so violently in one quick motion. Blood pours from Abdirak’s neck and out of his mouth as he chokes. His eyes are wide with fear as you push him on his back- your eyes bright, crimson red and consumed with indifference. Abdirak chokes and looks at you with pleading eyes, but you take a step back as the rats begin to claw and eat at him. The whole endeavor is disgusting and horrific- Astarion could not be more proud to know you. His strangled cries are cut short as he finally succumbs to his wounds.

 Without saying anything, you turn on your heels and stalk to the next room, Astarion quickly in tow. You free Volo before Astarion can even enter the room- the Goblin that had taken Volo away dead on the floor.  

You come out of the room and make eye contact with him. Your eyes are blank and your face is emotionless. You turn away from him and stalk off in the direction of the priestess. He gives you a decent head start before casting the spell and sneaking in behind you as Priestess Gut closes the door.

Let the bloodshed begin.

[lylahammar]

Give it to you straight? Well I can’t do much of that cause I’m a lesbian but okay.

Flat out.

Attack on those predators

Zelbosa, is NOT okay.

But, please listen to this, shipping her with Zelda is not okay, Zelda was 16 until the day Urbosa died, and that means she is a MINOR. Urbosa in her diary states that she held Zelda as a baby, and was close friends with her mother the queen who was an adult when she had her daughter, meaning Urbosa was too. Urbosa is an adult, likely in at LEAST her forties, and is also confirmed by the creators to be a stand in mother to her. That also makes this borderline incest. Since this is the case; this ship is both pedophilia, and incest, and a minor legally cannot consent to a relationship with a man adult, that also makes it rape. It is also hugely uncomfortable to have someone raise you and then be in a relationship with them, that doesn’t happen

Look, imagine this. You were held as a baby by an adult woman who played a big role in raising you. You then are a 16 year old who has a MOTHERLY CONNECTION with said woman.

Then people say you should fuck and shit and start shipping you. Pretty disturbing right??

It doesn't matter that they're fictional, that's not an excuse because supporting a minor x adult relationship is still RAPE. A minor cannot consent to ANY relationship with an adult it will always be RAPE.

Anyone who ships Urbosa with Zelda?? That’s not Urbosa buddy. You don’t know shit about who Urbosa is. For one, she is a character from a children’s game and guess what??? Children’s characters don’t fuck!!! Second, Urbosa is a motherly character, and she’s a sweetheart. She doesn’t rape people, and yeah, sex with minors is rape. Third. That’s just. Not Urbosa buddy. Idc what you name her but that piece of shit doesn’t deserve to be compared to Urbosa, it should be put down tbh.

By saying “they’re fictional it doesn’t matter” or “all characters are depicted as 18+”, that is a sorry excuse to “justify” child porn and pedophilia. It doesn’t change the characters, and you still present them as they are in the game. As MINORS. Stating that they’re aged up doesn’t make you any less of a pedo, they’re still minors. Also, if you spend your entire life being raised by someone??? That’s borderline incest. You don’t fuck them. Aging up doesn’t change that.

By shipping this?? You are supporting incest. While Zelda and Urbosa aren’t actually related (still pedophelia btw) it’s still borderline incest as she is explicitly stated to be a stand in MOTHER to her. If you’re one of those FREAKS who thinks incest is qUirKy or HoT. No it’s not. Incest causes genetic defects because it biologically is NOT supposed to happen it isn’t cute or quirky, it is morally wrong and causes harm to both the other person and their offspring if they have any.

If you need an alternative to ship with Urbosa, make an oc for Zelda’s mom!! They were known to be close friend and are a very cute ship

bro I did one shippy drawing in 2018 when I was playing the game for the first time before I realized how much older urbosa was chill

[fandomsoda]

I have just learned that someone very important in the Xvials community has been forced to stop posting about the ship due to the harassment they are receiving.

Needless to say, I am absolutely livid about this, not only for losing someone important in a small community of mine, but absolutely disgusted that people would harass someone over a ship that DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING FUCKING WRONG WITH IT.

Harassment is already wrong obviously I shouldn’t have to say that, but it’s ten times worse when the reason behind it isn’t even fucking valid. Even if it were, harassment doesn’t work and only causes people to either double down or become emotionally unstable and puts them in danger. Harassment is never the answer in these times.

So here’s everyone’s (un)friendly reminder that Xvials is not problematic, Xvials is not pro/ship, a lot of people just have very weird views of how the multiverse works and haven’t refreshed themselves on X-Tale in a while and let their hatred of XGaster get out of hand. It’s totally fine not to like it, but don’t lie about it.

I’m gonna quickfire debunk the primary claims I’ve been seeing surrounding Xvials, btw for those out of the know, Xvials is XGaster x Ink, sometimes romantic but usually queerplatonic or some other abstract case. Let’s get started-

argument #1: “Ink’s adoptive dads are Gasters, so him being with a Gaster is pseudo-incest!”

Alright this alone to me is just ridiculous because like, actually think about that for a second, this is implying that every single Gaster in the whole multiverse is somehow related to Ink and that he can’t have unique relationships with them and I hope that everyone can recognize that the concept alone is absurd.

argument #2: “It’s abusive! They’re just using each other! XGaster actually hates Ink!”

Did we watch the same show? Because I don’t think we did, since in X-Tale their bond is repeatedly displayed and in Underverse it’s reinforced, with tons of extra things Jakei has posted emphasizing their bond. May I remind everyone of “come back”, this teaser Jakei showed depicting XGaster being actively afraid of losing Ink? Keep in mind how Ink is shown in a bright, important light here? He’s clearly afraid of losing him, they’re genuine friends, it’s not just for his own motives, and XGaster never treats Ink poorly, other than leaving him in the dark about things that I doubt he’s intentionally hiding from him, simply not thinking Ink would need/want to know. Like I said: totally fine if it’s not your thing or you don’t like it, but don’t fucking lie.

argument #3: “They’re both aroace!”

True, however that makes it even more likely for them to have a unique bond and understanding of each other than with others, definitely not romantic but as I said before, Xvials isn’t primarily romantic and all romantic depictions are fully recognized as fanon, if they appear at all. Also when I talk about them having a special and unique bond, that’s addressed in a canon comic, remember this from back in June? A lot of the time, the two being aroace is actually a very important component of Xvials portrayals. Especially in my case, since the way I think of them is very much hazy and queerplatonic, like all my ships with Ink.

argument #4 (this is going to sound satirical but I’m not even kidding, I saw someone say this): “It’s pseudo-pedophilic because Ink is very short and acts younger while XGaster is tall and acts mature!”

I… am at a loss for words. Take a look at that, think about what you just said, and go touch grass. Obviously, Ink and XGaster are both full grown adults with somewhat ethereal ages, no one here is a child, and labeling Ink as child-like comes off as very ableist for a number of reasons. Ink can definitely be childish, any character can, but that doesn’t make them “child coded”.

ok, that was a lot, but I just needed to get that off my chest, I… yeah. I think y’all get it. Good day.

[aki16official]

tbh am starting to ship aki x coe sorry but aki is 18 a full grown adult and so is coe so it does not matter

wtf is wrong with you .

AKI IS EIGHTTEEN AND IS STILL A FUCKING MINOR. THEIR 18. A FUCKING TEENAGER.

And coe is like 70-80. FUCKING GRANDPA. AND IF AM WRONG, COE IS A FULL GROWN ADULT. AKI IS A FUCKING CHILD. YOU'RE FUCKING DISGUSTING. WHAT THE GENUINE FUCK.

[sabo-has-my-heart]

What's a ship in one piece that you dislike so much ?

I'ma have to go with SHANKS X LUFFY.💀🤢🙏 ,No why?

Shanks x Luffy,,,EWWW🤢🤢

like Luffy was child when he meet Shanks when he was FUCKING CHILD . Disgusting. I don't care what anybody, Everyone knows this ship is Wrong.

Anything with adult x minor. I'll (barely) accept it if the minor is 17 and the adult is like, 24 or something but like Hancock x Luffy, Shanks x Luffy, etc, etc is a no go for me. Seriously, Luffy was 17 and Hancock was 29 when they first met. I don't mind age differences between 2 consenting adults, but he was 17! And absolutely Shanks x Luffy is a no-go for me. Also, 100% all about that consent. No consent = no ship!

Edit: also, incest. No like, idk, Luffy x Dragon or whatever.

Also, also. Sabo x Koala. Hate it.