#adoptee stories

[theanonymousadoptee]

Why I'm NOT pro-life as an adoptee:

Because I'm a miserable drug addict who doesn't leave the house, contemplates suicide daily, and I didn't have a fucked up childhood, and if I didn't have a fucked up childhood......

WHY AM I A MISERABLE DRUG ADDICT WHO DOESN’T LEAVE THE HOUSE AND CONTEMPLATES SUICIDE DAILY?!?!

[babe-con-el-poder]

I'm adding excerpts from a story in today's NY Times because they trigger a flush of memories that I think speak to the core of transracial adoption and the perspective it creates. A perspective that I think only kidnapped hostages might relate to.

I remember 1998ish after my high school days when I met up with some friends of friends at a random garage party. I was the only one who wasn't white because I was only ever surrounded by white people my entire childhood. I'm not white though. I was always in danger of racism but in a particularly horrific way where it is not blatant. More of a gimmick or fetish. On this one evening I was surrounded by mostly young white men who liked rock music and beer. One of them was someone I recognized as actually a sweet boy from a few years back. As he talked to me and we laughed about school days he proudly showed off his new tattoos. Tattoos of large Nazi Swastikas. I was horrified. But I knew the unspoken game I was supposed to play...having been adopted into a white world...I wasn't a "real" threat as a brown person. I wasn't like "those trashy N-words". So I was safe. I could laugh at his stupidity if I wanted to and he would laugh in agreement that his tattoos were just meant to be a joke. A ploy for attention more than...being a Nazi sympathizer.

He flirted with me and asked me to sit on his lap while we chatted and drank. And as I did, my heart broke for him. And my mind downplayed my own fear of his probable violence. I was being brainwashed into white supremacy, so that I would remain safe. I put his comfort first and foremost above my own discomfort so much so that I actually felt empathy for him. But now I realize that I was heartbroken because this moment just proved all my fears were valid. That the mistrust of the all white environment I grew up in was legitimate. Again I was feeling the free fall of abandonment.

And I've seen this repeated by white supremacy over and over....the use of coercion and twisted humor to cover up the insanity of bigotry.

This NY TIMES story occurred decades after that crazy night in the garage. Kids are still dealing with the same problem. No matter how liberal or educated or wealthy a town and community wants to be in this country....there is a sickness that runs though our United States culture.

As long as it keeps being ignored and laughed off it will continue to thrive.

[monsterfuckermilligan]

it’s very important to me how my therapist (attachment trauma specialist) who works with a lot of adoptees and ffy is also obsessed with supernatural. and agrees that jack is not adopted, and it’s important to his storyline that he isn’t. it’s so frustrating trying to explain to people that adoption isn’t about ‘what’s in their hearts’ or some other bullshit, because adoption isn’t about love, it’s a legal process that tfw don’t partake in. they never try to to erase his lineage or require it for there to be love. jack keeps his last name! jack has a picture of kelly at his bedside! jack gets the freedom to meet his first family, including lucifer! he gets to make his decisions about that even after he argues with cas about it! he is not adopted y’all just don’t know how else to describe their relationship because of the romanticization of adoption in ‘found family’ media and the fact that most non-adopted people have no idea what adoption actually is.

[daisymeade]

Grancelor thoughts...

I don't care what the game says. I'm going to make it canon that he redeems her without the romance and dips into witch with her as his patron. 😏

I was planning on using the Call of the Wild mod to get the witch class and even though this isn't a choice of archetype (it's even a 3rd party one), this is what I'm shooting for story-wise:

[amaiguri]

I did the 24hr Novel Challenge last year...

Last year, I did the 24 hr novel challenge over the course of 48 hours (so the novel was written in 24 hours but I did in 48 hours) and it went about as well as you'd expect:

Fine. I did fine.

I didn't exactly FINISH finish but I did complete a solid 0th draft and I wrote like 26 thousand words (16k the first day, 10k the second day). I learned two really big things from doing this:

The first thing I learned was I really method act when I'm writing -- like, in order to describe emotions, I really simulate them in my body. So simulating a whole rollercoaster ride of stress and love and sadness and terror and desire and despair was A LOT and I would get numb to things as the scenes went on.

The thing that restored me was watching snippets of things that inspired me -- the starts of shows, trailers, music, images, etc. These ended up being a sort of palette cleanser in-between scenes for me.

But when I'm not pushing myself, I learned I really need to just. Write when I'm feeling it. Because my writing is higher quality like that.

Secondly, I learned how fragile my hands were: I really destroyed my hands doing it -- something I didn't anticipate was how much I was going to need to stretch my hands and TO THIS DAY, my hands still get more sore than they ever did when I was younger. I'm getting old >_<

The Characters & Story

Heirs to the Tilted City was (to no one's surprise) a fantasy polticial drama about a city in the wake of a disaster that broke apart and almost fell into the Abyss. The Goddess who ruled the city sacrificed herself to protect it, leaving it behind to her baby Heiress, Shiel.

But while the Goddess made the celestial inhabitants of the gorgeous astral whimsigoth city, Shiel's descended from a line of Demons who migrated to the city after a disaster of with their own Goddess. Furthermore, she's so young. Many residents have mixed feelings about her taking control back from the City Chamber -- despite her being born, raised, and educated in the city...

Meanwhile, the former Chamberlain of the Goddess -- removed from power after trying to take power from Shiel when she was a baby -- has a son, Isegael. And in the dregs beneath the city, Isegael, too, has risen to power as his rivals mysteriously vanish. From the head of a crime syndicate to a legitimate local leader, Isegael now has his eyes set on the Chamber too.

And so begins a collision of ambitious young people trying to wrestle power from those who'd maintain a crumbling status quo. Will they overcome their past traumas to become the people the city needs? Or will the Old Guard let the city slide the rest of the way into the Abyss?

...I suck at writing copy. Don't make do it lol

Feel free to take a gander at the writing vlog too -- it's definitely one of my better ones!

[fagoutboy]

another doctor who post anyway non-adoptees are being so annoying about the ruby part of that episode. obviously the "real mom" usage isnt technically correct but like who are you to police the language an adoptee uses in regards to her own family? she clearly values carla as her actual mother, every scene once ruby finds her birth mom depicts carla with pretty equal significance and they show ruby with both of them in equal measure.

sorry but this is not about "found family" vs ""real family"" or like you hating your mom or whatever. this is about adoption. its about an adopted girl who never knew her birth mother, never knew why she was left, never knew a huge part of her ancestry. and that can be super important to someone WHILE THEY ALSO love and respect their adopted parent as well.

ive known my whole life i was adopted and unlike ruby i knew why (similar reasons, in fact) so i didnt have that hardship of it but i never met my birth parent until i was a teenager, and even then i only know one of them. i dont know the other one literally at all. and i love my adopted mother but there is so much i dont know about my own lineage and birth parents that i still wish i knew. THAT is what rubys story is about its not for you to whine about how much you hated it because you "chose your family" and your real one sucks or whatever THATS LITERALLY NOT THE POINT AT ALL YOURE ALL SO ANNOYING

[swagging-back-to]

rewatching the oa so you know what that means!!!!

yep, im gonna be posting a bunch of rants about abuse in the adoption industry and how the oa is a perfect representation of abusive adopters and how society reacts to witnessing abusive adopters and treats to abused adoptees

[mauvesockss]

Consider: Jonathan and Mina adopt a son... Two orphans passing on the kindness they received and giving a child a home filled with so much love. And uncles! And a grandfather! A family of choice all the way down...

[robertalaurie]

Shut Up and Listen: Why I Identify As an Adoptee

I hadn’t started to think of myself as an “adoptee” until recently. I was just me. My biological father died before I was born. My biological mother showed varying degrees of interest and disinterest in me at variable intervals throughout my life. My grandparents though, by the time they were legally able to adopt me at 14, were my parents, my only parents. Am I grateful to my adoptive parents…

[geminipdf]

[stackthedeck]

I finally got my hands on the Voices book and I wanted to ask what you thought about Spider-Friend? I love the Friends shade and the social commentary implicit in that, but it was so weird to see a Peter that's best friends with Tony Stark

I'll be real it didn't land with me, but I think that's because I just don't like sitcoms. Yeah definitely really weird to see Peter so close with Tony, but it didn't really read as the mcu relationship, idk it felt closer to what they had in the avengers comics. hopefully the mcu influence will be limited to W.E.B of Spider-Man. Like Spider-Friend is fine, I don't love Peter Parker variants of spider people I always prefer a new character, but I do like that this one is Korean and that works with the sitcom element, the poc best friend that's never the main character. But like hey if we need a rich playboy with main character energy, I feel like Johnny is the better choice??? Like why make Tony and Harry the stars?? Shouldn't it be Harry and another coffee bean gang member or if you've got to have a super Johnny Storm really seems like the right choice

[theanonymousadoptee]

THE Anonymous Adoptee

Who is the Anonymous Adoptee anyway? If you have found this content, I assume you're an adoptee whose searching either in secret or is currently keeping your dissatisfaction with life a secret because you, as an adoptee, probably feel like you can't talk to those closest to you for fear that the inquiries into where you came from will be misinterpreted. The likelihood that someone gets offended is all but a guarantee. If that's the case, then you are the Anonymous Adoptee.

My name (or at least the one you will come to know me by) is Aria Solena. I've made this blog intending to create a place for adoptees to connect and share our experiences without fear of being judged. Also, a space free of outside influences like adoptive and birth parents can make working through these things even more difficult by adding shame and guilt to the equation where none needs to be.

I'm an adoptee who's half-black with white parents. I grew up in the deeply conservative state of Ohio, with a Republican Super Majority, seeing as both the State House and State Senate of Ohio are run by Republicans. Take it from me when I say I know what you're going through. Even if you found this by accident, and it just so happens that you're an adoptee who has dealt/is dealing with their adoption loss, you can still help someone else who is coping with their adoption loss and grief. Whether through support groups or simply listening, your empathy can make a difference.

In the long term, I hope to fill this blog with personal stories, support groups, discussion boards, political action plans, and resources for those who are dealing with anxiety, depression, and anger; along with book recommendations and resources for your adoptive parents to help them understand who you are and why knowing where you come from is a natural human desire, shouldn't be taken offense to, and why it's healthy for you to help form an identity, sense of self, and find out where it is that you belong.

I know you have been a nomad, wandering from place to place, searching for answers no one wants to give you, and then blaming yourself when you ultimately come up short. That stops with this blog. In the meantime, check out The Anonymous Adoptee (well, what's there) and any article or essay under the pen name "Aria Solena," and stay tuned. I can't wait to see where this blog takes us.

[babe-con-el-poder]

In a far away land....that used to be ruled by empires and trade routes to places beyond the southern hemisphere, I was created by a young, beautiful, somewhat lost but well loved woman.

She worked hard to care for others' homes and children. She was friendly and sweet and so unassuming that noone realized she was pregnant until she was about to give birth. But sadly, she knew the baby she would bear would not be safe with her. She had no financial means or quiet home to take la niñita to so they may live a warm and happy life together. There was no welcoming of her new daughter by her family because she knew the unfair shame of being alone and pregnant. She was desperate. And heartbroken.

I was born only 5 lbs and came to the world very early. I stayed in my mother's arms only a week then was brought to my permanent new home. I was more than a lifetime removed from my mother's world. I was surrounded by English speaking white people in a very cold but beautiful countryside. There were gorgeous farms and lots of safe places to play outside. Nothing like the crowded city my mother and her family lived in. But she ached for me. Finally, as her heart began to somehow heal slowly, she had a chance to live closer to me. She was promised a chance to watch me grow and flourish in the English-speaking world.

But life is hell. And I learned this lesson before I could really understand what it fully meant. My mother died tragically in a fiery car accident in my first year of life. If I had not been sent away I would have also perished with her.

Her legacy is ME. She is my guiding light. Her voice has protected me in the darkest hours. I still wonder why me? Is there a why? Does it matter? How could I have survived this insanely tragic beginning to my story and continued on as normal?

I know so much from living this story. I know that we take every moment for granted. I am a transracial, transnational adoptee. I sit in my power having learned from grief and loss as my very first life experience. And I'm here to share and learn.

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread    

The Girl and the Grove

contemporary fantasy about a newly adopted girl trying to fit into her new life and ignore the mysterious voices in her head

she joins an environmental club for the summer with her best friend, and finds herself drawn to an old grove in the park

[annaandersonbooks]

Adult adoptee and birth mother bloggers

Just joined Tumblr. Please can anyone point me in the right direction to find adult adoptee bloggers and birth mother bloggers. I am both of these things as well as being an adoptive parent.

[xlittlelazyladyx]

Leo Sanders x Sophie Chen-Parker

“She was sunshine, I was midnight rain.”

- Choosing Chopsticks