#adding to this: this also goes for ships!

[eggsyfired]

no joke i have seen a few fans saying that people strip effie of her complexity and treat her as innocent because of Elizabeth banks acting and direction for the character , their claim is that effie wasn't a good person and participated in the hunger games and wasn't empathic to the tributes until everlark won and that effie was supposed to be a ' dark reflection ' or something like that idk and by fleshing her out in the movies they 'absolved' her of her part in the system or some other bs 🙄

i also once saw someone cursing woody because he was the one to suggest the haymitch and effie kiss in mockingjay p2 and went on a rant about how effie is a horrible person for haymitch to end up with

it's all just really annoying how people can't like effie in peace without some people coming out of nowhere and ruining their fun and it's jarring that they hate on actors for doing their jobs while loving / enjoying the characters they are playing

NO DEADASS. Effie is a very complex person, she's not innocent (at the end of the day, she still participated in the Games. And imo she agreed to being an escort) but she's not some evil bitch like some people think she is.

I can def see how people come to that conclusion reading the books. I can respect that interpretation even if I dont agree. But saying Elizabeth Banks stripped Effie of her complexity is INSANE. If anything, Elizabeth added much more complexity to Effie and made her more interesting. not make her innocent. ARE YALL CRAZY??!?!?!

And the point about Woody... I CAN'T. BYE. I'M LEAVING THE FANDOM. People can think the Hayffie kiss wasn't a good idea or even hate Hayffie, idc that's your opinion, but damn💀 whatever, at the end of the day Woody and Elizabeth got the bag and yall are just jealous of that (/j)

Im gonna say it again, but I dont ship Hayffie, I just really enjoy their dynamic and will devour literally anything involving these two (the valentines day art was just to feed the shippers lol). I think people can dislike the ship, that's fine, agree to disagree. But oh my god why do people need to feel the need to attack shippers. BLOCK THEM AND GO AWAY.

This point goes to Effie stans/Hayffie shippers going after LD and Haydove. Literally grow the hell up.

There's also ppl acting like Hayffie is predatory because Effie was an adult meeting Haymitch as a minor... I mean sure it might be hella little weird if they got together at that time, but most shippers ship them when Haymitch was well into his adulthood. If anything, its way more unhealthy for Haymitch to be hung up over his long dead teenage girlfriend as a grown ass man smh.

[sabrondabrainrot]

I'm not caught up on laes (WHY AM I SO BEHIND)

but I looked at the thumbnail out of curiosity

This is the thumbnail and idk about anyone else but it's absolutely an angry or embarrassed blush. I think the thumbnail artist totally killed it with the vibes and it's really disappointing people would ever attack an artist for trying cool moody effects. President Earth looks smug and cold at the same time while Lunar looks embarrassed over some insult. He literally looks like a Chihuahua ready to fight to the death.

The thumbnail is just really cool. They even added their own unique details and everything.

Absolutely nailed it in execution.

With that said I have to wonder how an angry blush can spiral into discussion about incest shipping...???

To the point someone feels the need to comb through the live streams to time stamp the exact moments when the VAs said they don't like the ship?

I'm putting a spoiler bar because this is just a generalized ramble on ships and opinions and I don't want to overshadowe the og topic lol

Like first of all, everyone who writes for these shows haven't ever done an incest ship. Won't ever write an incest ship. And actively avoid the topic unless it's brought up by a fan. Why do people suddenly think that sort of content will magically start appearing in laes or the other shows?

Second of all, the current Lunar of laes IS NOT related to president Earth. They're from different dimensions? Lunar in this dimension isn't related to the Earth of the same dimension. President Earth is also not related to her own Lunar either. When you really start to split hairs it's like... They're about as related as adopted siblings are. Also... Everyone is a robot? They're all fictional characters?

With this aside... The topic of incest ships will inevitably move to the Astrotool ship (I think that's the Solar Nexus ship name) and I'm just-

So what if people ship it? It's literally two fictional characters in a made up world. People can ship their weird little ships and not be hated on. I still find it insane people were sending gore anonymously to shippers???? On behalf of the VAs

Who cares if the VAs say they don't like the ship? Even if they did like the ship it won't affect Canon at all. Just because the VAs said they don't like something or something is bad does that automatically mean someone has to personally stop everyone else from doing that thing?

Like if the VAs told the fans to walk off a cliff, would they???

Their word is not law. They can't just completely shut down an entire part of their community just because they don't like something.

Let people have their ships it literally hurts no one. You don't know why someone might like a ship and just because the dynamic to you might be family or sibling coded doesn't mean it is to the shipper.

However, in defense of the VAs if they say they don't like a ship, a ship makes them uncomfortable, that goes without saying just don't send it to them?

Respect someone's boundaries. It's that easy.

I really see both sides of the problem.

Shippers sometimes are far too pushy with their otps to the point when they keep pushing and annoying ppl with the ship it comes to the point where you just dislike everyone who likes that pairing.

Or you say you like a ship and get dog piled because what you like is problematic and suddenly this means you must support xyz and you're disgusting and evil for liking this!

At the end of the day we're all people who think and feel different so why not respect those differences and not try to make everyone conform to the exact same standard?

I've been in fandoms since the early days

What people like in the Tsams community is so tame compared to the big boy fandoms. You guys would absolutely lose your minds if you get into supernatural.

This reminds me of the Twitter community for Lout of the Count's Family saying shippers for Alver and Cale are incest shippers. For context the two jokingly call each other brothers.... And swore a pact to support each other...

love that people who didn't watch the episode (yesterday's) about pres earth and lunar are instantly jumping 2 the worst possible conclusion

the blush was likely not meant in That Context!!!! pres earth has established that she viewed her lunar as a sibling + pres earth is in a relationship with monty none of that shit is happening (to the dismay of the fandom, no, they arent doing ur gross ass incest slop! davis and reed have also openly hated on those kinds of ships, prime example being solarnexus on a stream where they explicitly say that kinda stuff is Gross because of the prior familial relationship the two had)

i wasnt gonna jump in on this given i could usually care less about people having bad takes on the internet but ooh it is so annoying to see people just not watch the episode and later complain about it as if that is Factually What Happened without looking into it to see what the actual intention was. this was also cleared up in the tsbs discord (the thumbnail artist clarified that it was meant to be comedic rather than attraction)

image for proof aswell below, taken from the official TSBS discord in one quick search.

[bebrave-live]

Love the flavor of soulmates that is a main m/f partnership dynamic that's mostly platonic but also romantic but also dysfunctional and yet completely essential - like these characters would not work without each other, but they barely work with each other, and most importantly they know each other carnally better than anyone else, but it's also not about sex at all it's about the partnership and navigating the highs and lows of intimacy and letting someone in, but also maybe they do fuck, but also maybe don't, but also...

[shyhandart]

wanted to show you my rainbowglider kid so far! just a WIP ☺️

Holy crap! Alternate universe siblings!!

This is Caustic Phantom, but everyone they know calls them tommy :3

[frameconfessions]

Analysis/opinions about the current state of Warframe from a 10+ year old veteran player.

Okay this isn’t a confession (or maybe it is I guess) but I’m about to give my 2 cents on an incorrect take being paraded around by salty noobs and people who barely touch the game. “No one plays steel path.”

You’ve never tuned into a Youtuber or twitch streamer’s content before, clearly. 🙄 No one you know plays steel path because you play with people at your current progression in the game who either don’t have it unlocked or refuse to get good and if truly no one played it, it wouldn’t be getting updates every time new nodes and content dropped. We also wouldn’t have at least 2 secret steel path boss fights in game with multiple trophies built into them.

The problem isn’t that “no one plays steel path,” the problem is this Valkyr rework is out of touch with the current state of the game as a whole. It amounts to the developers over exaggerating a problem that isn’t as much of a problem as they’re advertising it out to be to make an attempt at lessening justified community backlash and slapping a bandaid over the cyst that is the current state of health, armor, and survivability in this game.

Some backstory & needed context: The devs clearly saw people losing interest in the base star chart content between constant back-to-back open worlds and no higher end difficulty built into the game. Player retention was dropping, it was the late 2010s content drought & veterans were leaving the game in droves or just stopped playing. This resulted in less money being spent on the game and DE saw what an impact that had. Warframe felt too samey and was boring for dedicated and veteran players alike.

People like Mogamu suggested a battlepass with special challenges and rewards to keep players coming back to the game, to give the dedicated players something new to do. Around that same time was the constant criticism that Warframe is too easy past a certain point, there’s just no real difficulty once you become a dedicated player. DE was taking notes, they heard the community’s problems with the game and saw how it was indeed hurting the game.

Timeline is a bit blurry for me here but sometime in the late 2010s they made railjack (launching with enemies being way too tanky for a lot of people and outpouring way too high DPS), steel path, and Nightwave. These were all made to address the issues that members of the community rightfully pointed out. Then Steel Path kept getting updates to make it actually incentivizing to play!

Power creep happens over time but people are more satisfied with the state of steel path as a whole seemingly. DE cared about making higher end difficulty and we saw that also with Duviri’s circuit mode even in more recent years. They care about the game’s health but there’s been an underlying problem even before steel path existed, health and armor just don’t cut it the further you go in the game.

You can mod for strictly survivability but then your damage can go out the window. Enemies at a certain point just one shot you which leads to players picking up frames that have high energy costs & upkeep for more survivability. Shield gating is but a bandage on the larger injury of late game just not being feasible regarding survivability.

Invulnerability isn’t the fix-all to Warframe’s end game but it is with the current state of difficulty in the game. Taking it away to “test out” slapping shield gate on a frame and nerfing her is just silly and out of touch. I get they spent budget on reworking her & they’re making the excuse that they wanna see how she feels on launch, but dedicated players have already done the math and builds to test her in steel path and it’s just not looking good. Also, we already have frames like Nidus & Inaros if they’re actually going to do something about reworking health & armor.

Is Valkyr just going to have to stay nerfed until more updates are out? How long will that take? How long does she have to sit on the base star chart shelf gathering dust while you “track stats?” If the goal was to sell as many thirsty skins as possible (not getting into the discourse about how it doesn’t look like Valkyr or how it doesn’t suit her idc about that right now) and have as many people playing her as possible in turn, this just isn’t the way to do it. Once those people DE pays to try out Warframe can no longer run her juicy thick self on steel path, they’ll just play a different frame instead.

She won’t get recommendations to be played anymore beyond base star chart and maybe early steel path. People won’t buy an expensive skin for a frame they barely play. Fashion the frames you play most is just common sense and economically smart! That social media influencer you paid to get into Warframe is not gonna stay a casual base start chart player forever. You’ll get your temporary influx of thirsty skin buyers with Isleweaver & whoever DE gets to promote the game to some corner of the internet, but long term? It’s not financially wise because it’s not a solution. It’s putting a sparkly little bandaid over a gaping wound and I’m tired of people pretending it’s not.

Warframe didn’t get to be this good of a game because of reddit white knighting or blind defense of their every decision as developers, it got good and stayed live on servers this long because of the veteran and dedicated players who rightfully criticized the developers choices, gave feedback on why x thing isn’t good and/or how x thing could be improved. Warframe is only good & has only been good when they listen to their dedicated and veteran players.

Covering up a problem in a thirsty purple pink bow isn’t gonna make the wound go away, the blood of the core issues in the game is gonna leak through that fabric. Those new players won’t stay new forever and they’ll soon also see Warframe for what is is, the good and the bad.

I’m also gonna go on record and say that she was not an inactive play-style, managing the energy economy of her is a task and one you have to sink a lot of time into to build for. Her damage is fine as is too; she can hit damage cap, you just don't wanna learn how to build her. The spin melee problem wasn’t really addressed with this and neither was anything else Pablo brought up, but hey at least Warcry is recastable without an augment now; so, it must be good, right!? RIGHT!?

Not listening to dedicated players is how Digital Extremes loses money, dedicated players keep the game alive. I’ve said my piece.

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS & OPINIONS

Also before any trolls try to say “who hurt you?” Digital Extremes did, by making the game boring as all Hell in the late 2010s for at least a good year or so à la content drought. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it even in the Warframe community.

The problem is power creep and that problem is far more expensive to fix than a warframe rework or two. If the devs want a warframe to be played a certain way, they’re gonna make the community play that frame that way (even if part of the game’s appeal is player choice and build variety, but I guess that’s not really being considered here). While yes I hear you bringing up my earlier point about energy econ as a counterpoint about player choice, at least current Valkyr is something more unique than a rework that doesn't really change her kit all that much and is essentially just a nerf with sheild gate being once again shoved down our throats. All frames for steel path must be built similarly, this is good game design, right?

I get they wanna make her whole kit useable & I can respect that part, but right now the Hysteria invulnerability nerf is only going to make the game slightly worse overall, not better. Also it hardly seems to set out to fix what it's trying to supposedly fix, but I'd have to get my hands on the first 3 tweaked abilities to really know for sure,

Also don’t even get me started on how disingenuous Pablo’s Hysteria talk felt. "It also had this whole section where at the end of it, you could die if you hadn't done like a certain process that was very confusing for most players. So a lot of people would just end up like once they were running out of energy, they would just hide in a closet and just wait it out, which was pretty bad." I would like to see the stats for how often this actually occurs because I've never seen a Valkyr player do that, even base star chart default colors ones. I felt like I was being PR spoken to and that just makes it feel so wrong.

In a world where health and armor are at a good spot in late game this rework is an acceptable trade off, but right now it shouldn’t be shipped.

Also another thing about you level cap buzzword haters out there... Warframe does care about endurance runs/late game or at least used to back when the Kuva fortress tileset was released. People were doing max cap survival endurance runs, going for world records, and playwarframe was present in the chat cheering them on as well as some of the devs personal twitch accounts at the time. I remember Smashley's stream in particular as an example though it may be lost to time because the internet is not forever, much in contrast to what our parents told us as kids. Also, like I stated previously, Steel Path is consistently getting updates.

Easier financially to try to make small changes and seemingly ignore the bigger issues than to tweak bigger core parts of the game, I'm sure any developer would much rather do the former than the latter. It's smart budgeting even if it hurts the game's longevity, but this Valkyr issue has truly pushed this larger problem into the lime light; hopefully so much so in that they actually do fix the bigger problem. Huge changes are needed for the game's health if the power scaling is going to keep increasing, but Valkyr getting nerfed shouldn't need to come first. Fix the core issues before you put a perfectly good frame in the shredder.

Or maybe I'm just a MR27 (going on 28) salty veteran player ranting and raving about nothing important whatsoever. 🤷‍♀️ - mod Rose

[nandors-girlwife]

No but is it really one of your favs ships if u don't have a playlist for them

Yes I wrote this post only to share my ship's playlist if any of y'all care so WHAT anyway here they are

Merthur Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7qC8kcwkTy8zUwwMtNdHEJ?si=4CarnOY5T1ewqmF8mhQnXA&pi=u-SN42Cs1oTvei

Nandermo Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2e9mFwufBGWVoMK7f6XvuX?si=xZk2rdD2QXSmEZnYNXR6UA

Innefable Husbands Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4WikaxxtH3Ng8XzF0O8FHJ?si=aHVR_0sLQiaj1D2eIj16mQ

Spirk Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4O0QIOgqo7XqudFnVwqgNq?si=JKO0dVzrRrS8MCgEUfPT1Q&pi=u-AQYOd9ueTZGa

HaiYin Addicted Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1tFgmi573GBCl6S4WmcdV2?si=QZrvfnFzRTqC6duWC7FFSA&pi=u-8vZmJe-7QKWC

Starsky and Hutch Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3b1mBG9fLViODX8RGgvcyU?si=blQ2LemBR6OuBx6hDEjtGQ&pi=u-L0oTCcAvQ1aA

HiraXKiyoi MBM Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4pqPVCBF4MA150J5p46Lkl?si=I50S8qSvRSiS0ZetP0LiWg&pi=u-XKj5oLVNRCWT

MoonjoXJungwoo SFH Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/629rkeb2aOZGivxbOZtD1V?si=UEt6bwZjTTCnj3KiS8sRFg&pi=u-0hbm4T-hSRmh

Johnlock Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5FQcrmLVlmLw5hK4PHlNbm?si=22Yt14mrSXyfTTvZN-dWsw&pi=u-HaXVuA4bTc2x

JuwonXDongshik BE Playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1CCdkdJnhPFGRSNsdEPDgV?si=lJQpUXWoThyP4QeKDkzuFg&pi=u-2-ueYj5xSOOs

This is my legacy

[dunadaan]

i'm thinking about the time 4 years ago when i was rping with a girl and we shipped blackwall from da:i and créa and it was fun until her personal life exploded and ended our friendship. and right in the middle of that i had gotten a commission of our characters...and by the time the sketch came back from the artisti was like. welp. i dont even talk to that person anymore. but ill still pay you for this commission bc you worked hard on it and it really is beautiful

so now i have this really pretty commission for a ship i dont even ship anymore and have never posted anywhere LMFAO

[peacockrulz]

youre so right about narration!! i could go on all day really, its the biggest thing for me that takes a fic from good to great, especially with characters like j- characters with a persona of sorts, characters that lie to themselves or are in denial, or characters with a lot they need to sort through, and j is sort of all three in some capacity. i cannot wait for hostile takeover to update! if you ever decide to try writing a fic id love to give it a read! ive noticed you have a lot of interesting ideas about characters and their dynamics through your fanart, something i think could translate to writing well. you also clearly have an understanding of what makes a fic good- though i know from experience its often easier said than done. still, id love to see you try! this is actually my first time rp-ing canon characters, ever. right now im playing j (thanks hostile takeover) in a discord server, though i might try n soon because i reaaallly struggle with characterizing him. ive been roleplaying my whole life really! i started with roblox warrior cats though... im shuddering with you id kill for more dollxn art from you though. no pressure but you get them it seems. its been a while since i listened to final girl but its definitely their song suggestive lyrics or not i hope they die and go to robo-hell together <3 - juzi anon

*sigh* putting this under a readmore because HOO BOY did I maybe went full analyzer on this one. thanks for your time Juzi Anon <3

I've read alotta fics in my time on the internet and honestly? I don't think I've ever read a fic that hooked me on a character narration quite like Hostile Takeover's J. J's awareness of every part of what shes doing and how shes doing it makes it even more subtle when you realize that despite all of that, she has so little awareness over what she thinks. Like she doesn't question it. Uzi's narration makes a point to show how she censors her own thoughts, she doesn't allow her mind to wander to certain parts of the past, shes completely aware of how some thoughts sound and decides against saying it all together. Meanwhile, J will go on and on about how much better the job would be without V's constant talking back and N's inability to do anything right, and in the same paragraph be constantly thinking about the argument with V, and what got V so messed up to begin with. J is like a rock, a precipice of confidence. But the moments where she doesn't know what to do, (like when she thought she was going to die in that church tower from the rising sun) its almost like she has to put on appearances even in a moment where shes completely panic-ed, that she still somehow has to pretend she knows what shes doing, even with no one around. Its why the fic made me rethink J in general, I've loved J for while but Hostile Takeover was the first time I actually was able to SEE what J could be as a character story. It really puts into perspective how important narration can be in telling a damn good story. (Sorry this became a J paragraph. I could analyze fics for the rest of my life and be happy lol)

Haha maybe one day I'll finally sit down and write. I'm not really the greatest at translating my thoughts to text, for some reason its easier for me to illustrate my feelings about a character then to write it out. The only reason I can draw fanart like that is because I analyze these characters to death lol. Looking at all the angles of two characters and then asking the question of 'what would it take for them to be on friendly terms' is a pass time I indulge it frequently!!!! Thats why I like rarepairs, sometimes they're dynamics are alot more unique than most, even if they're 2 characters that have never once canonically interacted (which is my favorite. Alot more creative thinking with that one yknow?) Still, maybe I'll get to it :O (prolly would practice writing analysis post first. because I always have to stop myself from doing it on other posts XP)

I've also grew up on roleplaying (my brother is into roleplaying and that got me started on it lol) used to roleplay on roblox even before I could read (which. isn't a joke actually. who gives a 5 year old unrestricted internet access???) funnily enough I can't even say I ever completely grew out of it, I still visit alot of roleplay maps on roblox (including WCUE!! never actually roleplayed there but I think its fun to spec) but mainly I used to roleplay on animal-based mmos like FeralHeart in my younger days.

Iffff,,, I could say anything about N's character,,, to hopefully help inspire some ability to write him (and sorry this gets its own paragraph) I would probably say that he is a very self-destructively selfless person, whos never gotten over anything or anyone in his life (I.e when V was in stasis during their time in the manor, N constantly visited her and would draw pictures of the two of them together ((as lizards)) and is kinda implied to have been reading books to her during this time. Even after getting 'digitally lobotomized', while N couldn't exactly remember V as he knew her back then, he still carried that affection he had for her all that time ago. He never stopped caring about V, even when he forgot) while I wouldn't describe N as in anyway 'innocent' or 'naive', N still has a habit of unconditionally caring about pretty much anybody lol. He had like, what, a 27 minute conversation with Uzi? And while it wasn't enough to completely convince him, it still was something that made him hesitate ("I really enjoyed our time together,"). And while I'm here (having mentioned Uzi) I would also say N is a very lonely character, seeing as he was often belittled by his peers (J) or in some cases completely ignored (V, but she had her reasons and thats a different discussion) a funny part of N's character is just how much he IS like Uzi. A person completely isolated by his kind because of how he is, who was never given an explanation as to why, why everyone is so oddly cruel to him. The biggest difference though being that N never fought it, he completely accepted getting knocked around if it meant he could stick around. It took someone else to point out how fucked his situation was to make him think twice about it. Uzi is the type of character to go down kicking screaming and punching(asterisk but thats also a different discussion), and N, despite being in such a similar place to her, isn't that kind of guy. While I wouldn't say N is the type to take everything lying down, there is something to say about just how much he is willing to take before getting angry, yknow? Overall, I think N is a very loving, loyal-to-a-fault, kinda guy, but his compassion for those around him is often times the reason he gets so tunnel-visioned in the first place (i.e causing explosions and throwing rocks and debris everywhere in a mass, angry panic, trying to go save V.) and its why he is so willing to get himself hurt in the first place. ("I really enjoyed our time together, but I can't have you shooting V with that thing.") (Or yknow, cutting his arm off, but thats alot less selfless-ness and alot more self destruction) His patience and understanding is one of his biggest strengths and somehow always the reason he gets hurt. Basically I think he need to go a lil insane as a treat.

((Oh its also good to note that his unconditional love for everyone around him is also the only reason why he has lived this far to begin with (the characters this includes: V, Uzi, AND Cyn.)))

I also think the above, is the reason why I enjoy NxDoll so much. it takes SO MUCH for him to hate someone and yet Doll did the one thing that would make him do it (hurting someone he cares about the most). I just knoooowwww if they saw eachother in that church it would've been ON. That fight would've taken out the whole god damn BUILDING. it would be two people fighting for the exact same fkcing reason!!! REVENGE!!! the horrible chain of trauma contuines with them!!! killing one will only leave the other with what remains!!!! And yet I also see them as two people who would really benefit from being on friendlier terms. Both becasue N's softness is just not something we ever see Doll treated with, and because Doll's avocation for justice might just be the thing N needs to get a god damn backbone for once and earn himself some self-appreciation.

But I also think its more fun when its enemies AND lovers.

They should make eachother worse <3

[sorrygotthesesacks]

Sometimes I look at my works on AO3 and think "I don't remember writing that" but then I'm like. "oh WAIT, yes I do remember writing that JJBA/hypmic crossover for FugoNara Week last year - how could I possibly forget such a thing exists?"

[emiemi345]

WowNow Cinematic Universe - What's Hippo

Your government-assigned lesbian ship for Pride Month: Holly Hippo and Mz. Mandy Marmot from the comically atrocious WowNow Entertainment cinematic universe.

They host the news, gossip and variety show What's Hippo (a play on the phrase "what's hip?"), apparently the hottest show in the universe. It was founded by Holly, and they film live from "Zootropolis Studios" in "Zootropolis" (not the Disney one, that's really what they call it). In Black Friday, it is said that their show is regularly viewed by the entirety of Earth's population.

Their show always appears briefly and is mainly used as a plot device to deliver plot-relevant revelations, and for characters to publicize their plans, findings, or warnings.

In Lost in the Poultry-Giest, they become hostile toward each other as a result of a space-time continuum anomaly (it's just as dumb as it sounds), and their falling out leads to Mandy temporarily quitting the show (they also had a spat in Frankenstein Ruins Halloween, but nothing came of that).

They also host an educational book club, in which they roget Wikipedia articles relating to the origins of classic fairytales, such as Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. What's Hippo: Meghan and Harry (because that's a thing too) follows a similar format (Holly has a different voice actress in these series).

Misc. Trivia

Their show's target demographic is age 18-48.

Holly's favorite food is pond scum, and Mandy's appears to be compost.

Mandy mentions she is a logophile (a lover of words).

Holly's character model was first used for a separate character in Jumbo and Jumbo 2.

Mandy's character model was first used for a separate character in The Lion Kid and The Lion Kid 2 (Fun fact: that second one is where I first learned the term "eminent domain").

Movies they're in:

Hodge Saves Easter (2020)

Dave of the Dead (2020)

Turkey Day (2020)

Little Foot (2020)

What's Hippo: Meghan and Harry (2020)

The New Years Baby (2021)

Hodge and the Lost Easter Egg (2021)

Frankenstein Ruins Halloween (2021)

The Halloween Family: Monster Showdown (2021)

Black Friday (2021)

Christmas in July (2021)

Santa Saves the Galaxy (2021)

Alien Busters (2021)

Fast and Furry (2021)

Holly Hippo's Book Club for Kids: Sleeping Beauty (2021)

Holly Hippo's Book Club: Cinderella (2021)

Turkey Day: Lost in the Poultry-Geist (2022)

Holly Hippo's Book Club: Beauty and the Beast (2022)

Holly Hippo's Book Club: The Snow Queen (2023)

[rederiswrites]

It's been years since I started seeing nutrient flows constantly in my daily life, and the more I study agriculture, the more I see them.

See, every time you harvest something, you take the nutrients in that item away from the soil, and they go somewhere else. When I put a banana peel in my compost bin, I think (a little gleefully) about how I've just added an exotic, different profile of nutrients to my own property--but I also think about that distant banana plantation that lost tons of nutrients per year to US grocery stores, and I wonder what they replaced those nutrients with.

The farmer across my field grows corn, which gets harvested for feed. Corn is a nitrogen-hungry crop. Every year, that corn sucks up nutrients, which get harvested and shipped away. The farmer, being a conventional farmer, mostly replaces those with a conventional fertilizer. Nitrogen is often applied to fields in the form of ammonia fertilizer, which is made via a process that binds nitrogen in the air with hydrogen from natural gas. This feels like a vast resource, but of course we know it's not inexhaustible and not without cost.

Ideally, said farmer does soil tests and applies a carefully considered amount of ammonia. It is taken up by the growing plants and relatively little is lost. Possibly (often), though, some of the ammonia is leached out via rain and ends up in waterways, where it causes plant overgrowth and algal blooms, which harm the waterways in several ways, and turn those nutrients from a resource into a contaminant.

Meanwhile, the corn is also uptaking a variety of other nutrients from the soil which the commercial fertilizer is NOT replacing. Year by year, those nutrients get shipped off to distant feedlots and depleted in the soil. Eventually, those nutrients are gone from my neighbor's field and, quite possibly, languishing in a manure lagoon somewhere in, say, Indiana, where one can only hope it's properly treated and made into compost. But, you know. Not necessarily.

When I buy compost at the store, it's usually based in either cow manure or "forest products". Hopefully, depending on brand, those forest products MIGHT be collected municipal yard waste. Which is pretty good. Those suburbanites don't want their leaves, I do, win/win.

Except that because those suburbanites raked their yard waste, they now need at some point to fertilize their trees, shrubs, and turf grass. Meanwhile, they've eliminated habitat for the many insects that use leaf litter to either overwinter or reproduce. They may not be counting the costs, but the costs don't stop existing.

The ebb and flow of nutrients is something that, in the current system, goes utterly unregarded by most of the people taking part in the process. Even gardeners bring nutrients onto their soils mostly without thinking about the places those nutrients came from. I think in a sustainable world, that needs to change.

Also probably we need to do a hell of a lot more cover-cropping.

[dearmisshoney]

flesh light & prone bones

synopsis. coming home from brunch, you expected an empty apartment — not to catch your cocky roommate mattheo fucking a fleshlight to the thought of you. curiosity turns to temptation, and you both realize toys could never replace the real thing.

pairing. roommate! mattheo riddle x reader

content/mdni. fem!reader, roommate!au, pervert!reader, cocky!mattheo, pervert!mattheo, implied gymrat!mattheo, fleshlight-fucking, assisted masturbation, voyeurism to participation, filthy teasing, praise, dirty talk, name-calling (sweetheart, baby), overstimulation, allusion to edging, spit play, cum eating, doggy-style/prone bone (?), headlock/slight choking, slight spanking, unprotected p in v!

word count. 3.6k

a/n. this one goes to @pizzaapeteer! she convinced me to write another matty fic! let me know what you think. likes and reblogs are appreciated

inserting the keys in the lock and turning them twice, you finally locked the front door. leaving them to dangle in the door, you slowly made your way inside your shared apartment with mattheo. you only stopped for a moment in the hallway, removing your shoes and the purse you’ve been carrying around your brunch date with the girls.

but not your wired headphones.

no, you’d rather keep those in for the time being, preferring to listen to any kind of music than to mattheo rambling about sports and the like. you weren’t even sure he was home; he had a really bad habit of keeping to himself the important information, disclosing only dumb details like how much his bench press has improved.

but as you make your way further into the apartment, you realize he is home. the opened cardboard box on the kitchen island, the ripped package, and the violently scattered foam bits were a clear indicator that mattheo was at home.

“this jerk never cleans after himself.” you mumbled underneath your breath, extremely quiet, and if it weren’t for the fact that you said these words, you wouldn’t have been able to hear them thanks to your loud music.

mattheo was not the perfect roommate. he was flashy, annoying, messy. he also seems to respect the concept of privacy only when it applies to him; if you try to count the times you’ve found him in your room like a pervert, you wouldn’t have enough fingers, hands and feet combined.

nonetheless, he was paying his share of the rent in time, and if you yell at him a bit, he does clean around as well.

curious as ever, you approached the box to figure out what mattheo ordered.

“kidney failure is written all over him.”

it was probably another gigantic container of protein powder, or creatine, or whatever powders he uses for the gym and his godly physique, as he likes to call it. mattheo has an entire lower kitchen cabinet dedicated to his fitness journey, so such purchases were not uncommon.

with all that in mind, the cardboard box seemed too small compared to his usual orders. the box was also a different shape than the usual huge square cube mattheo gets his supplements in. twisting and turning the package in your hands, your eyes scanned the surface for any sort of clue — a company name, a product name, heck, even a cringey motto about gym life.

but nothing.

the package was blank, discreet.

the foam chunks were of no help, and the shipping paper was torn to pieces.

“he really wanted what’s inside, huh?”

you might as well check the cabinet and see if a new container has been added. that way, the mystery will be solved quicker.

bending at the knees, you dropped down to mattheo’s gym stash and swung open the door. this cabinet was the only place mattheo kept all clean and organized, so you immediately realized no new product was added.

“what the fuck did he buy?”

muttering to yourself again, you raise from your position, prepared to investigate the torn paper. only to have your wired headphones latched around the cabinet knob and snatched out of your ears.

“ugh­– this shi–”

“fuck, hmm, so good.”

now that your ears were no longer trapped by your headphones — which were now pathetically hanging around the knob — you could hear mattheo. and the nasty noises he was making.

he was loud.

“ah, ah, ah.”

his voice was low and raspy, and if it weren’t for the clear needy tone in his words, you would’ve said he was just having a bit too much fun with his video games.

that was not the case, however.

“s–so wet, damn.”

and with that, your brain short-circuits for good.

your entire body froze, one hand clenched around your knotty headphones, the other stiffing up by your side, clawing at the material of your shorts. you stayed like that for a few seconds, trying to process what the fuck you just heard.

maybe it wasn’t him. maybe it was porn, playing from his expensive speakers in his room.

yeah. yeah.

but no matter how much you tried to convince yourself, another guttural moan from mattheo shattered any sort of argument you could come up with.

that was him.

“tight as fuck, shittt.”

not only was mattheo home — he was very home, in his room, jacking off. owning the place and being as vocal as he liked.

“so good, so good.”

you wished to be angry and annoyed at him. you wished to slam your hand on the kitchen counter and yell his name to stop. you wished, you truly did, but something in you was fighting against these urges. something primal was itching at your brain, making your teeth bite into your lips, your hands clenching tighter.

something primal was itching at your stomach, making your tummy do a flip, your panties all wet.

“oh, baby, ohhh–”

you inhaled sharply, closing your eyes in an attempt to disconnect from the situation at hand and think straight.

i should just leave…

“ugh, damn.”

…pretend i heard nothing…

“it feels amazingggg.”

…and just take another walk.

“fuck, fuck, fuckkk…”

yeah, i can do it–

you thought you could fight back, but your entire resolve collapsed when you heard your name moaned by mattheo.

that deep, rumbling voice, grunting your name without any shame. again, and again, and again.

“that pussy would feel so much better, i just know.”

so raw and desperate.

completely discarding your headphones, you finally moved. but not towards the front door.

tiptoeing down the hallway, you crept closer and closer to mattheo’s room. the wooden floor was slightly creaking underneath your footsteps, but neither you, nor mattheo seem to pay attention to it. he was too caught up in pleasure, and you were too turned on to care.

“you’d be so warm and– fuckk–”

mattheo was rambling on his own, groaning your name from time to time and vocalizing his dirtiest thoughts about you. and as wrong as this was — eavesdropping on your roommate fucking his fist, there was no shame in you. quite the opposite: his nasty words shoot directly at your core, making arousal pool in your panties and stick to your weeping cunt.

his door was slightly ajar. the close proximity allowed you to bathe into the obscene wet sounds he was making, now clearly registering the rhythmic movement of his thrusts. it was wet, stickily so, the sloshing noises being a definite indicator of mattheo’s need.

the close proximity also allowed you to dip your head in and take a peak.

but you shouldn’t. everyone has sexual urges and it was wrong for you–

“sweetheart, please…”

your head instantly turned towards the crack of the door, the pet name practically latching onto your neck and twisting you around to finally see him.

and you gasped.

that was not a hand.

there was mattheo, sprawled on his bed, completely naked. upper body leaning against the headboard, head thrown back. lower body jutting up and down from the mattress, thrusting with urgency into a pale grey fleshlight.

your thighs clamped into one another, your tiny shorts riding upwards on your legs, seam digging into your clit. you did your best not to snake your hand down into your panties to touch yourself, choosing to use it to steady yourself against the door.

you knew mattheo was hot.

hot was an understatement, really. as much as you liked to make fun of his cocky attitude and his pride for his godly physique, you couldn’t deny it. mattheo riddle was attractive beyond compare, and seeing him in this position made you want to jump on him and fuck him to death.

“shit– to have that sweet cunt all to myself…”

he was high on lust, babbling to himself between moans, jerking that new fleshlight to a sloppy rhythm. his abs were flexing with every rock of his hips; his arm, strained from the pressure of tightly gripping the sex toy, was a sharp valley of muscles, scattered with protruding veins.

“will you let me have you, sweetheart?”

shit.

his voice, still sultry and lustful, now had an undertone of arrogance. his head, previously lolling back against the wall, was now upright — his chocolate eyes staring right at you.

he caught you.

and he was proud of that.

“ah– don’t ignore me, baby.”

you couldn’t answer. words got stuck in your throat, your brain refusing to cooperate. you could only focus on the lazy movements of his hand, now guiding the fleshlight up and down his cock.

his cock, so hard and stiff. drenched in precum and lube. his cock, so red and pulsing, throbbing against the inside of the toy and begging for more.

his chest was raising and falling rapidly, visibly affected by the entire ordeal. the tips of his curls were sticking to his forehead, skin all sweaty and slick. yet, mattheo seemed more composed than you were.

“after i’ve called for you so nicely…”

he smirked, dragging the toy all the way down to his base with a deep groan; sheltering his entire shaft into the poor fleshlight.

“…could at least help me out, sweetheart.”

he did it all intentionally.

it wasn’t like mattheo did not know you got home. he knew, and that urged him to masturbate even more.

you swallowed thickly, still unsure whether to step in or not. a part of you wanted to join him desperately; the other part was arguing for you to leave and cool off alone.

mattheo could see the storm behind your gaze. and he knew how to help you decide.

suddenly, he removed the fleshlight from his shaft completely, letting the sex toy fall from his hand somewhere on the mattress. letting you see the way his stiff cock escaped from its confinement, stood tall for a few seconds, then flopped to the side.

“you’re a manwhore, mattheo.”

it’s all you managed to say as you stepped into the room, removing your cardigan, and throwing it somewhere on his floor.

“you say it like it’s a bad thing, baby.”

he hissed between his teeth, brushing off your ‘compliment’ and focusing on your actions. removing your outer layer, you were now nicely standing in a cropped tee and the tiniest fucking shorts he has ever seen you wear.

and when you seated yourself next to him on the bed, his cock twitched against his thigh hard.

“what if i had guests, hm?”

your voice was condescending, mean. your gaze sharp and accusatory.

but that only turned him on more.

mattheo let out a short, breathy laugh, licking over his lips. your question was of little importance to him. his eyes were focused on you only, hypnotized by your entire existence.

“but you don’t.”

he was so shameless, so brazen. his gaze was dancing along your body, making a first stop on your perky tits, another on the exposed skin of your thighs.

even if you had guests, he wouldn’t have acted differently.

“pervert.”

you spat at him like you were disgusted by his behaviour, yet your hand drew closed to the sex toy and brought it back into the spotlight.

“who would’ve thought–…”

you grabbed the base of his cock without warning, eliciting a strangled moan from mattheo.

“–that you’d–”

gathering some of your spit, you let the liquid drip all the way down to his cock, hitting the throbbing tip and gliding down the side of his cock.

“oh, fuck, wait–”

“–get a fleshlight.”

positioning the fleshlight at the right angle, you dragged it all the way down. his hips buckled involuntarily, the sudden stimulation making his thighs shake.

“why not fuck a real woman?”

you began moving the toy slowly, guiding it up and down. twisting and turning your wrist with expertise, you tried to mimic the way mattheo was jerking himself off before your intrusion.

“oh my god, this is so hot.”

mattheo was still taken aback by the entire situation: not only did you join him in bed, you were now pumping his cock with this newly bought sex toy, making him writhe around his bedsheets.

“so easily pleased.”

you hummed, mocking the way mattheo was already succumbing to pleasure.

he tried to take charge again, raising his torso from the headboard, but you were quicker. with a hand on his chest, you harshly pushed him back down, causing him to drop even closer to the mattress than before.

“answer me, mattheo!”

your speed around his shaft slowed, now dragging the toy at an agonizingly low pace. seeing your roommate mattheo scrunch his face in both pain and pleasure was irresistible.

“t–they’re not you.”

“not me?”

you did not expect such an answer. but he seemed to have answered truthfully, so you reward him by speeding up again.

“ah, ah, ah, sweetheart.”

mattheo was gasping now, hips chasing every glide of the toy like his life depends on it. his eyes were blown-out, half-lidded, heavy with lust; his mouth parted, his lips glossy with spit.

he hated how much of an effect you had on him, but he couldn’t do much.

your hand did anything but falter. the wet suction of the fleshlight was echoing louder and louder between the two of you, almost harmonizing with mattheo’s moans. he was putty under your control, and that made your cunt throb hard.

“and is this toy me?”

you seemed almost mad that he’d compare you with a stupid inanimate object: your lovely lips formed a pout, and your eyes widened with pretend sadness. all of it to emotionally taunt and pester mattheo.

“i can’t fuck you.”

mattheo raised his tone, exhasperated by your little accusations. why were you playing dumb? you would never let him blow your back, so a fleshlight was the onl–

“who said that?”

“huh?”

“who said you can’t fuck me?”

you tilted your head mockingly, putting all your effort into squeezing the base of the toy harder. you wanted to make him cum, you wanted to make him shoot his seed deep into the fleshlight.

“oh, baby, baby baby–”

he was chanting pet names like a mantra, his fingers clawing at the sheets with desperation. his jaw was clenched, and the veins on his forearms were accentuated even more.  

he was close. so close.

“c–can i actually fuck you?”

oh, he was so damn cute. such a big beefy guy, asking for permission, on the verge of tears.

“of course you can.”

mattheo did not answer that. only a long and loud groan left his lips, head digging against the headboard more and more. his body jolted once, twice, then shuddered hard as thick ropes of cum filled the toy.

you could feel the way the fleshlight became heavier with each passing second. you could also hear the slick squelches of it, louder and wetter, as you were still gliding it on his cock — milking him dry.

“give me all you’ve got!”

mattheo was done for. he looked absolutely wrecked, absolutely ruined — you loved it.

“f–fuck, no more, please.” he whined, tossing his head to the side from overstimulation.

you had no intention of stopping, really. but something about mattheo pleading to be released changed your resolve. so, with one final drag up his sensitive cock, you released him.

his cum oozed out of the toy in thick drips immediately, staining his crotch and abs.  

“damn, you really filled it up!”

holding the toy up for inspection, you could see his release seeping more and more out of it. it was creamy and gooey, and it made you wonder how it tastes.

“oh, shut up, you–”

raising the fleshlight higher, you stuck out your tongue and allowed some of his cum to land on it. the salty taste spread across your mouth in an instant.

and instead of spitting it, you happily swallowed.

“fuck, you’re gonna kill me.”

mattheo witnessed the entire thing. his cock did too, hardening again against his abs.

“wanna compare it with the real thing?”

and there it was — an even deadlier proposal from you.

you did not even wait for his answer, certain he will agree. rather, you discarded the toy completely, dropping it on the floor, choosing to turn around and bend over for mattheo.

“want? i need it.”

you heard him barely mutter behind you, as eager as before. he retracted his legs from the mattress, allowing you the space to position yourself on your hands and knees for him.

“fuck, baby, your shorts are soaked.”

mattheo now had a clear view of the effect he had on you: your tiny cotton shorts were stained with a big patch of arousal, butchered up all the way into your cunt. heck, if he tried more, he could define the outline of your pussy through your clothes.

“c’mon, mattheo, fuck me!”

you mewled at him like a vixen, arching your back into him and shaking your clothed ass. you instantly felt mattheo’s rough hands cupping the fat of your behind, caressing the skin and even dipping his fingers underneath your shorts.

feeling around. exploring.

“mattheo, huryyyyy”

“shut up.” he growled at you, striking your right buttcheek in a sharp and swift motion. “let me admire you.”

he continued to roam his hands all over you, feather touches all over your skin — exposed or not.

but not for long, as his patience was wearing thin as well.

gripping the hem of your shorts and panties at the same time, mattheo finally dragged them down to your bent knees, exposing that warm and needy hole to his eyes.

“fuck, how could i assume–”

mattheo grasped the base of his cock and, stepping closer to you, he immediately brushed the tip of his cock across your folds, gathering and spreading your wetness around.

“–that i can replace you–”

just to torture you back, he pushed his shaft against your pulsing hole, applying enough pressure for you to feel him, but not enough to enter you.

“–with a mere toy?”

“please, mattheo…”

and there it was, you begging. exactly what he was waiting for.

with your sweet plea on your lips, mattheo finally thrusted inside of you. impatient as ever, he stuffed you full from the beginning, reaching the deepest part of your cunt and hitting that sensitive spot with his tip.

“fuck, it’s so hot.”

ah, you were stuffed to the brim.

“and your walls are sucking me in.”

you could feel every vein and ridge on his cock, pressing deliciously against you.

“loosen up, sweetheart. shit. i can’t move.”

and you did your best to listen, but your hungry pussy was sucking him in like a vice. with your cunt gripping tightly around his shaft, mattheo managed to pull out only halfway.

“i won’t last long, baby.”

and then he thrusted back in. hard. pushing your entire body forward and ruining any sort of balance in your upper body, you fell on the mattress face down.

“fuck, you feel amazing!”

“never keep this pussy away from me, you hear me?”

his rhythm was now constant, jutting his hips into yours at a desperate pace.

“i will have this pussy breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

mattheo's guttural promise echoed in your ears as his hips picked up the pace.

carnal desire was evident in the way he was pounding into you — with unrestrained force. your body instinctively arched more and more against him, wishing to never be separated from his body ever again.

the slapping sounds of flesh on flesh was the only prevalent sound, sometimes joined by moans, gasps and whines. your face was completely buried in the mattress, lips even biting at the bedsheets in an attempt to muffle some of your pornographic noises.

mattheo saw that and did not like it one bit.

“bad fucking girl!”

your entire upper body was lifted from the bed in one smooth movement, mattheo’s strong arms sneaking around your torso and neck. his right arm was gripping at your midpoint, steadying you.

his other arm, however, put your head in a nice meaty headlock.

“let me hear you, sweetheart!”

tightening his hold on you, his arm immediately flexed around your neck, pushing his hard bicep closer to your face.

“ah, mattheo.”

“yeah, baby. gonna cum?”

the new position allowed mattheo to reach even deeper, kissing your cervix with his aggressive thrusts. he was throbbing, ready to orgasm a second time that day.

“let me make you cum.” he whispered softly against your face, placing a half-peck on the shell of your ear.

and with that, he lowered his hand from your torso to your pussy, locating your pulsing nub and drawing fast circles on it.

“oh my god i'm–”

and he was too. his hips slammed faster and faster into your cunt, sloppily thrusting until the very end.

“don’t move!” he grunted aggressively in your ear.

mattheo could feel you spasming, trying to run away from him. but he had to fill you up. he had to cream your pussy for real.

“take it all, sweetheart. be a good fucktoy for me!”

and you couldn’t go against him even if you wanted to. his big arms were securely holding your body in place.

so you stilled your hips as best as you could, settling nicely into his body, allowing mattheo to paint your insides with his cum.

and make a big mess, just like he did with the fleshlight.

•••

“i am throwing away the fleshlight!”

“oh, so i did better than it?”

“you’re insane for even asking.”

©dearmisshoney 2025. do not copy, translate, or claim any of my writings or works as your own.

tags: @downbad4reid, @cafechichay, @lov3notts

[nattvingen]

*Kneels down to touch the dry earth* This land is ancient... And yet, parched dry as it is, there is life, still.

(Breaking: Local Opossum remembers that ff.net still exists in the year of a lord 2023 and there could be new or old fics of repute on there that aren't on AO3, though I really don't understand why. It told me to get my teeth checked. In Louisiana. Discounted, y'know, for Christmas. I'm in Sweden so I won't be doing that but I suppose that means my aggressive adblocking works. Anyway, I super don't remember how to navigate this damned site anymore and it is a wretched, wretched place at any rate, and yet I persist. Thots and preyers pls.)

[yeonban]

* Date Soma - Pirate AU.

The infamous Date Soma, Captain of the Uminyudo pirate ship, the capital ship of the Funayurei pirate fleet famed as one of the five largest pirate fleets and the worst one to come across, is most well-known for his tenacity, the imposing aura every survivor remembers him by and the rare swordsmanship only recognized in some northern parts of the land of the rising sun as part of the emishi that had been shunned from Japan by the imperial authorities' legacy. Never has there been a single enemy lucky enough to escape the Funayurei after choosing to stand against Soma regardless of whether they were pirate ships or royal fleets, and only those he has personally granted freedom to can rest easy at night without keeping an eye open.

In spite of his reputation as a ruthless pirate however, Soma takes great care of the pirates under his wing and often grants the innocent a choice rather than immediately sinking them to the bottom of the sea. This kinder side towards his own men, paired with his strategies, resilience and greatly amassed power, is the main reason why many continue to obey him, as well as why many prefer to steer clear from the places he's known to be at, much too afraid of accidentally directing his wrath towards them. In the same vein, Soma upholds his pirate code down to the letter, never once having violated it.

Most of Soma's time is spent on the Uminyudo, at times boarding other ships of the Funayurei as well depending on the circumstances, but it's not an incredibly rare sight to come across him at various taverns either. When setting foot on land, it's always with the intent to either acquire (better) alcohol or to sell rarities he's come across at sea for exorbitant prices, but unlike many pirates, the Uminyudo and the Funayurei never attack ports nor cities where civilians can be found. As such, the general public's opinion on the Uminyudo remains rather unclear - with some wishing for him to be caught and killed, and others offering to cover for him if need be.

The Uminyudo pirates and the Funayurei fleet

Named after the Umibozu yokai from Soma's birth region of Tohoku, the Uminyudo primary ship as well as its allied forces conform to the myths of japanese folklore that stem from Umibozu and its creation of Funayurei.

The Uminyudo pirates are rumored to only attack sailors when the sea is unusually calm, most often on nights with a clear moon, and as such "the calm before the storm" has become a collective fear of all those who set out to the sea without baring a pirate flag. The Uminyudo under Soma's leadership may choose to spare the sailors willing to hand over all of their ships' goods, but the naval ship they are a part of will always either be destroyed or made their own in his wake, allowing the sailors' escape to only ever be made on smaller or makeshift boats. That being said, there have been instances (though few in number) in which sailors have chosen to become pirates under Soma's leadership rather than risk their lives to reach the mainland on their own.

In comparison, the Uminyudo's treatment of other pirates depends on several factors - from the number of pirates onboard, to their infamy, and to the state of their ship/s. For similarly large pirate groups, there is generally little mercy to be shown, and the Uminyudo endeavors to sink every massive pirate ship until theirs is the last to remain, therefore also perceiving each pirate fleet as an enemy. When it comes to smaller pirate groups, though... the Funayurei pirate fleet has gained its name after sinking hundreds of pirate ships and granting them the privilege of making a choice: to either sink and die as proud pirates under their own flags, or to discard their former identities and join Soma's fleet. With the fleet being comprised solely of defeated pirate groups that chose to obey the Uminyudo, they are considered "ghosts of pirates who have died at sea, seeking to bring others down with them", hence receiving the japanese folklore name of Funayurei.

As opposed to the tactics used against sailors, the Uminyudo and Funayurei tend to use the weather to their advantage when faced against fellow pirates, creeping in on them during foggy, rainy or stormy conditions and taking them by surprise, typically already dealing cannon blows before the enemy can become aware of their presence. As such, many lesser ships have started sinking before they could even tell that there is an enemy nearby, and many have sank as a result of cannon fire paired with rough waves.

Though there have been cases of other pirates or naval fleets successfully sinking Funayurei ships, the worst of their losses have always resulted from accidentally encroaching on siren territory after being tossed wayward by the rough seas during storms. Unable to make contact with other ships from the fleet and being beckoned to sail even closer to the sirens after listening to their mesmerizing songs, many pirates from the Funayurei have found their final resting place deep within the waters, leaving only their empty ships behind as warning. The Uminyudo (and thus Soma) has never personally experienced the call of a siren nor has it ever seen any, but it has found plenty of its allied ships laying in the middle of nowhere with no soul left on board to tell him their tales. After years as a ship captain and then as a fleet commander, the first siren Soma has laid his eyes on, is Seiroku.

[drdawnbreaker]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 ☆ 𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐧

Pairing: Aliens!Poly!Lads!Men x MarsBornHuman!Reader

Summary: Your husband requires your "personal assistance"... unlucky for you, Sylus and Xavier want a taste of you also.

Word count: 3.09k

Genre: Alien au. Smut.

Warnings: Multiple tentacles! Jerking off. Fingering in a sense? Multi-coloured cocks (yes... thats a warning). Oral (m rec). Swearing. Mention of mating bonds and claims. A bandaged wound. Photography and videoing. Unprotected sex. Breeding. Egg laying. Multiple orgasms. Dirty talk. Pet names. Rough sex. Lowkey free use. Xavier is possessive as fuck. Illegal stuff. Running from the law. Guns and sirens. Gotta love a good heist.

Notes: Idk what came over me. But just the idea of the Lads boys all being some form of alien got my blood pumping. Enjoy

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You took a deep breath as you adjusted the bust hem of your long black dress. The ballroom was a swirl of glittering gowns and tuxedos, and the air buzzed with mingling laughter and gossip amongst the galactic elite. At your side was Caleb, your captain. He scanned the room, his eyes ever vigilant, ready to seize the opportunity to steal the rare artifact crafted by the fabled artisans of the Gilded Realm. This was your crew's mission—a heartbeat away from the legendary artifact that could bend time and realities itself.

Yet something gnawed at your gut, a feeling of unease that coiled like a serpent, distracting you from focusing. And just as you were about to voice your concerns to Caleb, your holocom vibrated against your thigh. You glanced down at where the sleek tablet rested, noticing Sylus’ user icon. Without causing too much attention, you uncliped the small rectangular size screen. But you felt your heart drop upon reading the message. It was a text, saying: “Kitten, our sweet doctor isn’t well. Meet us in the far bathroom. Hurry.”

“Captain, I—”

“Go,” Caleb replied, his voice steady, sensing the urgency in your demeanour. “We’ll hold off until you get back. Just be quick, okay pipsqueak.” The loving pet name rolled off his lips like butter, giving you some peace in your anxiousness.

You didn’t need to be told twice as you wove through the throng of elegantly dressed patrons, each step a mix of concern and adrenaline. You quickly reached the far end of the lavishly decorated hall away from most of the party guests. You opened the door to the women's restroom, and the moment you crossed the threshold, your heart ached at the sight before you. You found Doctor Zayne, your darling husband, in a state of distress. His tentacles, usually restrained and hidden, were now wrapping around his body uncontrollably, and his eyes held a frantic darkening look. "I'm sorry, my love," He panted, leaning against the sink, sweat glistening on his brow, his vibrant tentacles tightening with every second that passed. He looked up at you, a weak smile breaking through his evident discomfort. “I—,” he whimpered, his voice strained.

You rushed to his side, your hands reaching for his arms, noticing that his skin was hot to the touch. “What’s wrong?”

"I've gone into my rut early..." His voice held a note of embarrassment, but you could sense the urgency in his words. Usually, when Zayne’s species goes into their mating cycles they are isolated, and it's prepared meticulously. But since everyone is a different type of alien on the crew, it doesn't surprise you that cycles change and fluctuate to when they are supposed to happen.

Sylus, standing beside Zayne, added, "I've been trying to calm him down, but nothing seems to be working. I think we need to help him now before it becomes even more difficult to control. Just until we can get him back to the ship." You nodded at your lover, understanding the situation all too well. You knew that when Zayne goes into heat, his body has the tendency to take over, and his needs become all-consuming. So this was just to calm his body so it could give his mind some room to breathe.

So without wasting another moment, knowing Caleb told you to be quick, you pulled Zayne closer to you. Your bodies flush against one another as he held you against the cold, hard sink. You felt his icy tentacles slither down towards your legs, snaking themselves around your thighs before tightening around you. A mixture of desire and desperation surged through both of you and in one with swift motion, he spun you around, lifting your dress so the fabric could pile around your waist, revealing your already wet panties, a testament to your own growing arousal.

Zayne could no longer hold back. With a sharp snap, he tore your panties in half, the sound echoing in the bathroom. Letting the ruined material fall to the dirty floor, he used one of his lubricated tentacles to slide between your legs, spreading your limbs apart so he could stand behind you snugly. Zayne was already becoming quickly lost in the pleasure, needing to feel you wrap around him. “Zay be quick p-please…”

Your pants caused Zayne to growl animalistically. He hated people telling him to hurry up, but deep down, he knew why you said it, knowing Caleb’s temper all too well. So using his tentacles, two held your glistening folds open while he started to drill one into your pussy, stretching you out to accommodate his size in a moment.

“Fuck…” You let out a sharp gasp, a mixture of pleasure and surprise, moving your hips in time with the tendrils thrusts. Sylus stood by, his eyes fixed on the filthy scene before him. He couldn't help but reach down to palm himself through his pants, already feeling the stirrings of his own needs grow. He watched as Zayne’s tentacle worked their magic, pumping into you with a desperate speed, preparing you nicely.

You felt yourself getting carried away by the pleasure, almost forgetting where you were and why you were there. Zayne’s tentacle knew exactly how to stimulate you, knowing your body better than yourself, curling and twisting in just the right spots. You tried desperately to remain quiet, but as Zayne’s motions became more frantic, your breath quickened and soft moans escaped your lips as you felt yourself creep closer to the edge. “Baby pleaseee.”

“I know... Just let me enjoy this. Fuck..” He grunted through gritted teeth, his glasses fogging from his hot breath. What he would give to take his time with you, slowly pumping you full, eating you, loving on you for hours. But alas time was literally of the essence. So with a hazy mind, you reached out to comfort Sylus... to give him some relief as well. Your fingers fiddled at his belt, and the red alien couldn't help but chuckle at your desperateness. He flipped the belt off in seconds giving enough room for his long cock to slip out of its confinements. The patterning and ridges on his cock made you gulp, never being able to get used to the variety of shapes and sizes your lovers gifted you. Your tongue licked a strip up the base until you reached the tip, letting his cock slip into your waiting mouth.

“Fuck that's it, Kitty…” Sylus groaned, his hand gently holding the back of your head. You felt tears welt in the corners of your eyes, most likely ruining your makeup. Zayne doesn't stop his tentacles having added two more inside you as he picks up speed in his thrusts matching the snap in Sylus’ hips.

You were almost completely lost in the burn of desire until you could hear your holocom start to ring against your exposed thigh as it sat snug in its holster. You went to reach for it, worried it might be the captain telling you that time was up. But Sylus grabbed it before you could, reading the user icon to see it was none other than Xavier. Sylus couldn't help but chuckle at seeing his friend's name given to you, Xavier had only recently completed your mating bond when you all travelled to his home planet. His claim on your hip was most likely still red and sore beneath the bandage you put on it earlier this morning.

The poor bunny was wondering where you were. His sense of possessiveness was still strong, and he wanted to know your whereabouts every hour, every minute, every second or every day. And now, finding you were missing from your post next to your captain, he would have begun to worry. Sylus, thinking quickly, opened your holocom and started recording a video. The sight of Zayne’s tentacles buried deep inside your dripping cunt, the sounds of your moans muffled against his cock, with the image of you sucking him off for dear life was all too enticing to resist not sharing. And with a few quick taps and the quick text saying “busy”, Sylus sent the video to Xavier, knowing it would drive him wild.

Throwing the device onto the sink lazily, you all briefly noticed the vibrations of the com against the sink, announcing Xavier’s incoming call, but Sylus hit ignore before going back to focusing on the task at hand, fucking your pretty little mouth. Zayne had reached his limit quickly and with a final, powerful thrust he pulled his tentacles out of you before quickly replacing them with his hard bluish-hued cock. He drilled into you with passion, his high-pitched whimpers echoing around the dim restroom. He didn’t take long to start feeling the brew of heat in his gut, indicating his eggs were ready. Just a few more thrusts. He wanted to, needed to, last a bit longer. He was screaming at himself internally for wanting to empty his load so quickly but he couldn’t take it any longer. “Fuck, Honey. I need to come. You’re gonna be a good girl and take my eggs huh. Hold them and make them warm for me.”

Zayne’s ramble caused your cunt to clench tightly around him, sucking his cock in deeper. Your mouth flew off Sylus with a guttural cough. “Zayne!! Arghh. Please. I’ll be good. Give them to me.” He came deep inside you quickly after your sweet words, his slicked-up eggs pumping into you in relentless waves. As he emptied himself, one of his tentacles reached around to rub your clit, sending you into your own orgasm, your juices squirting around his cock before splattering all over the dirty bathroom floor.

Zayne pulled out of you slowly, his tentacle still gently caressing your sensitive flesh. But Sylus wasted no time in claiming what was his, spinning you around and pushing you up onto the counter. You had no time to process nor even try to stop him. You were here to help Zayne, to calm him down, not give Sylus a fucking quickie. But your legs instinctively wrapped around his thick waist nonetheless as he lined up his large alien cock at your entrance, ready to take his turn with you.

Sylus’ eyes rolled back and his jaw went slack as he plunged into your wet ruined pussy, your walls clenching around him, still sensitive from your high with Zayne. He fucked you with a vigorous pace, his abdomen tightening as the counter creaked under your combined weight. Sylus’ hand covered your mouth to muffle your cries as you began to scream out his name on repeat, his other hand gripping your hip too tightly to maintain his frantic drilling. He wasn't aiming for a slow climb to his release but instead the quickest route he could possibly take. Zayne, in his own temporary satisfaction, kissed your shoulder tenderly, lazily, his hazy mind still dancing among the clouds. His tentacle joined Sylus’ hand in bringing you to yet another orgasm, rubbing your little nub in quick short circles. Sylus groaned as he felt your pussy clamp down on his cock, and with a few more thrusts, he spilled his gooey seed into you, his own release mixing with Zayne’s warm eggs.

The bathroom door suddenly swung open just as Sylus was pulling out of your thoroughly fucked hole, and in walked none other than Xavier—right on queue—his face flushed and his cock tenting the front of his tailored pants. The sight before him, the sounds, and the smell of sex filling the room drove him into a frenzy. Xavier needed no invitation. He pulled you towards him roughly, bending you over the sink with an audible thud before lifting your dress out of his way as the fabric tried to fall. Without preamble, he entered you in one go, his slightly glowing cock sliding easily into your well-prepared hole. You felt full, completely stuffed with his huge cock, given his species was abnormally well-hung compared to most and your body buzzed with arousal at the forbidden nature of this whole situation. You were definitely going to get an ear full from Caleb when you finally got back to the mission at hand. Xavier fucked you with wild strength, the sound of his hips slapping against your ass quickly filled the room. The mix of Sylus and Zayne’s seed started to leak out of your pussy with each thrust only serving to heighten Xavier’s desire to come deep inside you. He was like an animal in heat, even worse than Zayne, driven by his need to claim what was his. His mate. His his his.

You could do nothing but hold onto the sink as Xavier jackhammered into you. Your own needs had been met multiple times over, but the relentless fucking continued, pushing you closer to the edge once more. You drooled onto the counter as your crackled moans played like music to all three mens’ ears. Xavier’s grunts filled the room also, as he approached his high, his hands gripping your hips tightly, leaving marks on your soft skin with his sharp nails.

“Fuck, fuck. I’m gonna breed this tight hole, push all Zayne’s eggs out. Make room for mine. Hmm.” Xavier chuckles making Zayne suddenly chime in his growl deep and primal.

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.” The red in Zayne’s eyes was evident that he was ready to fight Xavier but the other alien seemed to be more calm about the matter, staggering his hips slightly as he smirked devilishly.

“Try me.” With a final, powerful thrust, Xavier unloaded his cum deep into your cunt, his seed joining the mixture of his fellow alien crewmates. Your body trembled as you felt yet another high building rapidly, threatening to overwhelm your whole body. And as Xavier pulled out, his cum leaked out of you like a waterfall, mingling with the others, a sticky mess on the bathroom floor. But Xavier was quick to plug your hole back up with his fingers.

You slumped completely against the sink, your body spent, and thoroughly used. You looked at the three men surrounding you. You went to speak, but just as you opened your mouth, the air grew heavy with sirens blaring throughout the lavish ballroom under the door before entering the bathroom. The stomach-churning sound jolted you all. Then, as if on queue, suddenly, the door slammed open, and Caleb burst into the restroom, his face pale with frustration, concern, and a little turned on.

“Raf got the Artifact!...the fucking idiot” he shouted but mumble the last part. “We need to leave now!” Without a second thought, Zayne hoisted you up into his arms adjusting your dress so you were covered. His strength returned as if sudden adrenaline coursed through his veins. You just clung to his broad shoulders, laughter bubbling between all four of you as they dashed out of the bathroom, hearts racing along with their feet.

The moment you all emerged, chaos erupted in the lavish ballroom. Guards with laser guns were already fanning out, searching with narrowed eyes, but you and your crew were ready. Darting past tables, ducking under chandeliers of illuminated crystals that might have cut the air above them. With Caleb leading the way, all the men twisted and turned through the maze-like corridors of the royal estate, Zayne still tightly holding onto you, their crazed laughter mingling with frantic footsteps booming behind them. “That’s it! This way!” Caleb yelled, pointing towards an emergency exit where the ship docks lie.

As they neared the ship dock, they could hear the relentless footsteps of guards and more sirens blaring in the distance. “Hurry!” Rafayel voice echoed through the comm, urging his crew onward. With a final burst of speed, Zayne propelled himself and you through the narrow closing door leading to your vessel, the starlight. The sleek design of their ship loomed before you—a sanctuary waiting to be boarded.

“After me!” Caleb shouted as he helped Xavier aboard, hand in hand. Rafayel was already at the controls, having set the cloaking device to prepare for your escape, the Artifact having been hooked up beautifully─again Rafs handy work.

You felt your heart race, the thrill of the heist and the quick-not-so-quick fuck session igniting your senses. As you finally all piled into the ship, you caught a glimpse of the guards emerging quickly from the exit but Caleb was quicker. “Initiating launch now!” Caleb’s hands flew over the controls as he pressed the buttons with urgency.

Just as the guards reached them, the mighty engines of the starlight roared to life. And with a final surge, the ship lifted off the dock, and you looked back one last time, meeting the glances of hostile eyes as they faded into the stars. “Fuuuckk! We did it!” Rafayel cheered, slapping Zayne on the back as they flew into the depths of the galaxy, laughing at their narrow escape.

You finally let out the breath you were holding, your nose nuzzling into his scent gland on his neck, calming him and yourself. You beamed at him, who grinned back despite the weariness in his eyes. “Next time, can we skip the chaos?” You teased.

“I make no promises, my love,” he replied with a wink walking you towards his chamber where he could finally get you all to himself for the rest of the night.

—

© DrDawnBreaker. Do not steal, plagiarise, translate, repost, or use my work in any way, shape, or form.

[paradoxcase]

Right, so, after reading some error logs, obtaining a copy of the objects.package that shipped with the Sims 2 rerelease, and talking about this with Lazy Duchess, I have a conspiracy theory about why the rerelease is so damn broken

So first, I looked at an error log that was happening in the Enthusiasm Tracker. It was coming from the function that signs sims up for a magazine subscription after they choose that option on the phone. It's a very short function, all it does is 1) check to see if the family has a magazine subscription token, 2) create one if it does not already exist, and 3) set a property on the token regardless of whether 2 was necessary or not. All three of these actions make use of the Manage Inventory primitive, which controls not just sim inventories, but also tokens like this, memories, and gossip. I compared all like five lines of this function to the one in my objects.package, that I have from the Ultimate Collection, and they were exactly the same. But for some reason, in the rerelease, this throws an error. There is no explanation at the level of this function. I kind of scratched my head and thought, maybe they changed how the magazine subscription token works in this version, and forgot to update this function? Or something?

Next, there was an Too Many Iterations error log that had a very obvious cause: for some reason, the active family had over 500 tokens in its inventory. The family inventory isn't listed in the error log, so have no idea what those tokens were, or how there came to be 500+ of them. BUT. The aforementioned magazine subscription token is a token that goes in the family inventory. Maybe these two problems are somehow related. Are those 500 tokens all magazine subscription tokens, or something?

And then there is the infamous error that the game now throws when a sim goes to get abducted. I didn't see an error log for this one, but I was making a post on MTS listing all of the known issues with the rerelease, and someone mentioned there that the issue is not so much with the abduction as it is with other sims reacting to the abduction, and if there are no sims on the lot to react to the abduction, the error does not occur. Someone else then mentioned that the Abduction Reaction Fix mod that I made actually fixes this error. I made that mod, I know exactly what it does. What does it do?

Well, you see, objects in the game all have what is called a tree table, which is a table of interactions and the functions that need to be called when those interactions are triggered. One of the interactions on the telescope is the interaction to run to the telescope after someone has been abducted. But, in the Free Time expansion, a lot of new interactions were added to the telescope, and for some reason, EA decided to renumber all of the functions when they did that. They forgot to update the tree table, which references functions by their numbers, and as a result, the function that was called when sims were supposed to do the run-to-telescope interaction was actually the function that gives sims credit for discovering a new planet. In my mod, I fixed this, so that when sims are supposed to run to the telescope, the proper run-to-the-telescope function is called instead.

So, the error happens when my mod is not installed (when the planet discovery function is being called erroneously) and not when it is (when the run-to-the-telescope function is called instead). So the error must be coming from the planet discovery function. What is in the planet discovery function? It is almost identical to the magazine subscription function. It checks for the planet discovery token, adds it if it isn't there, and then modifies a property on it, using Manage Inventory. So this is exact same bug. And other people are reporting that some sims cannot gain memories - another game function that is handled by Manage Inventory. There is also an error that happens after a sim cooks food - one thing that happens at that point is that tokens and memories are added to the sim's inventory marking that they have successfully (or unsuccessfully) learned to cook that food.

So at this point, my theory is that EA somehow broke the Manage Inventory primitive. It's used all over the code, to do all sorts of stuff, if you break something that ubiquitous and fundamental, of course it's going to cause a whole lot of seemingly completely unrelated errors. Manage Inventory is now going hog-wild, throwing errors, adding hundreds of extraneous tokens to inventories, refusing to give sims memories, and who knows what else. I can feel it, this is the answer