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truelovepolinator · 1 day ago

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So, Nicola said the words. Now what? Well, I’m still sat on the Lido deck enjoying my Piña Colada.

First, I want to say, I restrict my Lukola musings to this place (and the discord I recently joined). I’m not sharing my theories out in the big, wide world out of respect for them. I don’t want either my certainty or my candor about the game our lovebirds are playing (out of necessity) to hurt them in any way.

That’s why I’m so glad to have found this place. The quiet, little tumblr community and the serious, closed-lip Lukola community is relatively small and respectful. True blue shippers understand what’s happening and we keep the faith (and keep our mouths shut to the outside world). My musings are for this group alone.

I mention this because I believe that anyone reading my blog, or fellow bloggers, who feel that Lukola is real and happening now, both love and respect Nic and Luke. We want them to be happy.

We support Lukola in making the choices that are good for them. Let them say and do what they need to in order to keep themselves safe and peaceful. If we’re rooting for their happiness and success, then we need to let them publicly create the narrative that enables them to do that.

But for those of us on the ship, we sometimes need to prop each other up and remind us all why we’re willing to sail these sometimes choppy seas. With yesterday’s release of the Gold Derby interview, and the much discussed “just friends” line, now seems like one of those times.

Because rest assured, friends, this line is no cause for concern. I know the jakolas are celebrating this as a win, and good for them. I’m glad they’re happy. They’re saying (and will continue saying) that we’re delusional. “After everything we’ve seen,” they’ll say, “she finally said the words you’ve been waiting for. Now do you see?” Cool. We can agree to disagree, and I support them in their opinions.

Because I know exactly what I see.

I’ve covered the reasons NicLuke would lie about/cover up their relationship several times, but with this latest interview, those reasons bear a quick review:

- Nic is a feminist who doesn’t want to be defined by her relationship or a man. She doesn’t want to be “someone’s girlfriend” (or wife), which she has said explicitly.

- Nic has always been intensely private about her love life (even before she was an uber famous It Girl). Would she really decide to change that now when the spotlight is even brighter?

- Not wanting to be branded as a couple and lose their identities. Both Nic and Luke are hitting new levels of success with Season 3. They need to capitalize on that as individual actors respected for their performances.

- Nicola is the moment. She deserves her time in the sun without being reduced to half of a famous couple (even if the other half is “perfect” Luke)

- Luke is a hot guy with newly opened doors after season 3. The SMA spread helped cement that perception. Remaining “single” publicly helps maintain that persona, increasing his marketability.

- Public scrutiny and pressure on famous couples is enormous. There’s an expectation of perfection when, spoiler alert, they’re actually human beings who probably get pretty messy sometimes like everyone else. And might even have had a messy road to this point that they’d rather not lay bare to the world. Scrutiny also means every action gets judged, and should things not work out (heaven forbid!), the whole world would watch their heartbreak.

And those are just the highlights.

In addition to all of this, there are even more reasons they might want to be extra careful and private right now:

- Nicola is nominated for a major acting award, by her peers no less. The absolute last thing she’d want would be for industry peers to dismiss her performance because they think she was actually in love with Luke, not acting. We’ve all watched it (doubtless many times) and know how beautiful and nuanced both their performances were throughout, covering the gamut of emotions with huge range, regardless of any personal feelings they may have had at the time. But “story” is important in an awards race and she definitely does not want THAT to be the perceived story.

- Besides which, quite apart from actually winning the award, just the nomination will open doors for her. But again, she needs to detach from that story to ensure she’s taken seriously.

- There’s also the delicate other matter that is 1,000% reason enough to batten down the hatches and shut down the scrutiny asap.

But if people are still anxious, here are a few more things I’ve been reflecting on that have reassured me and might just reassure you as well:

- The video where Bessie says, “A couple of people fell in looove, I gueeesss.” I mentioned this in my previous blog (linked below) and @dianis307817 asked about it, so I’ll attach it at the bottom for your delight and reassurance (that part specifically is at the end)

- I had a little switch flip yesterday about Nicola’s “a lot of people want me to marry Luke” comment in the Time interview. We all said then, “Nic, we just wanted you to be together. Nobody (fans) was talking about marriage! That’s all you, girl.” But yesterday, I processed it in a different context and thought, “that’s what a mom who says ‘that’s the one’ says to her daughter.” I thought about this briefly back when this first came out, but something about it clicked into place for me yesterday. Marriage is the thing friends and family push when they know she’s with the right guy. And she didn’t say, “a lot of people want me to BE with Luke” or “get together with Luke.” She said marriage, which is predicated on them already being in the relationship. (I’m sure others thought about it this way previously, but this clarity in this moment for me was useful perspective.) As we see again and again, Nic has been telling us all along.

- In that interview and in Paris, she is STILL WEARING THAT RING. And in fact, in Paris, she had a small gold ring on her left ring finger, which we saw when she was caught spontaneously for the magic trick. That finger change could purely be due to the delicate matter. But a gold ring of any ilk, Claddagh or otherwise, on that specific finger is 👀

- Notably, she removed her rings entirely at the Dior show when she knew she’d be photographed extensively. Or again, possibly for the above mentioned reason.

- And finally, there continue to be signs of the delicate matter that I prefer not discuss. But she’s not wearing acrylics lately (interview or Paris), she had non-alcoholic beer at the Big Boys premiere, and several of the designs she’s worn have had an M (not size Medium) on them. Also, she hedged in the interview about who would go to the SAG Awards, saying she wasn’t sure about the shooting schedule. But since she’s the only solo nominee and LW, if Shondaland is sending a contingent, they would definitely clear her schedule to be in it. So why hedge — if she’s able to travel?

To me, all of the above assure me the story has been and continues to be consistent.

Indeed, saying “just a friend” is entirely consistent with the camouflage strategy to date. All the reasons she’s avoided being open about the relationship until this time are all the reasons she would finally force herself to lie in this moment.

In fact, if I had to guess, I’d say the questions were agreed upon in advance and she was prepared with that answer, braced and ready to say what she has to say. Gold Derby is very much an industry awards focused site, featuring and hyping nominees. Interviews generally focus on *the work.* It’s not an entertainment gossip site or morning TV show. All these months later, when NicLuke hasn’t been seen together in 6+ months and the larger cultural conversation has very much moved on from World Tour chemistry, would an industry guy really still be asking a salacious question about her love life? And expecting that she would spontaneously admit to something *now* when she hasn’t uttered so much as a single peep until now? It feels much more like a set-up to give her the opportunity to explicitly say the words she hoped she could avoid saying.

Nic has said before that she finds it really hard to be disingenuous, and I think anyone who’s watched her for more than five minutes can see that. She’s so authentic and as real as she can be, which is why until now she’s found a hundred different ways to deflect the question without saying, “just friends.” She didn’t want to say those words because they’re not true. But when push comes to shove… when the crucial privacy of her family at a critical time is at stake… let alone careers and future gigs and maybe even awards are at stake… she will do what she needs to do. She will smile and say the words she doesn’t want to say.

Remember, Tomdaya said they were “just friends,” too. Have you seen the ring on Zendaya’s finger recently? And speaking of rings, have you seen the ring on Nic’s finger?

Meanwhile, right after the begrudging “just friends” line, she’s asked if there’s anything wrong with Luke. Do you see the way her face lights up when she says he’s perfect? That’s her real answer. She can’t even find one single thing to tease him about? Not a single flaw that she would reveal to the world? Something small and good natured? That’s a girl in love and I don’t care what you say.

Let the antis and the jakolas and everyone else think what they want. It just doesn’t matter. And in fact, the more people who buy those stories (including all the variants of the story), the better for Nicola and Luke. People believing those stories is the goal and helps protect them. Especially Nicola, whom I believe needs safety and peace more than ever right now.

As always, we don’t know them, and I allow for the possibility that I could be wrong. But despite Nic’s protestations (the lady doth protest too much, methinks), I’m sitting tight on the Lukola, ordering another drink.

Only Nic and Luke matter and they get to write the public story. I still believe they will come out some day, when they’re ready. When they feel safe, when they feel secure, when they have less risk to their professional brands and careers. Nicola has never gone public with her love life before, and she will always want to be private. As does Luke now, clearly. But I believe they will want to share their truth at some point, and they know how much we want to share in their joy. But it has to be on their terms.

In the meantime, for anyone who needs shoring up, let this bolster you. The ship sails on.

Here’s the full interview if you haven’t seen it or would like a rewatch:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tBPOWQYU2sQ

#nicola coughlan #luke newton #lukola #nicluke #lukola is real #just my opinion #just my thoughts

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jeonscatalyst · 24 hours ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/jeonscatalyst/774011165218144256/us-jikook-signed-up-as-buddies-they-will-be?source=share

I know many will say I'm being anti or wtv but i still haven't fully believed they sleep in the same room not because i don't want to or anything but it's just that we don't have any idea about the internal room arrangements and i have seen some (jk solos) posting ss from that website where soldiers talk about their experiences and i have seen different soldiers have different experiences. Even companions saying they weren't in the same unit as their companion etc. i mean that's what i have have read from those ss and since I'm not korean and I don't have anyone personally telling me how it goes in sk military I'm always 50/50 witj all the information that comes unless it's confirmed solidly.

Jimin said "conversation with jungkook before going to bed" now this can mean that they both sleep in the same room or they don't is also an interpretation because he could be talking with jungkook u know like hangout a little (like jk said they both go away from other soldiers to sing out loud) and then go separate ways to their respective rooms. I mean that's also an option so idk how much they're sleeping together side by side but what we 100% know is that they both see each other daily, talk to each other about their future about armys, they go away from others to have their little time together to sing to talk etc and that's sooo beautiful.

Hi anon,

With all due respect, no one gives a tiny rats ass what you believe. There comes a point when people like you need to step out of your imaginations and accept reality for what it is. The fact that you are citing what JJKs say or post as your source already tells me all I need to know because no single person who cares about Jimin and Jungkook together takes what any of their solos says about them as a pair seriously. So you just exposed yourself as an anti by telling me that your source of information is the same people who hate Jimin more than they love Jungkook and would do and say anything to prove that they hate each other.

When we first learned that Jungkook was assigned as a cook, what happened? People like you immediately spun baseless narratives, claiming that cooks sleep in separate areas, follow different schedules, and wake up or go to bed at different times…therefore insisting that Jikook couldn’t be together.

Before that, you were certain that Jimin and Jungkook would be separated after basic training, yet they themselves debunked that claim. Jungkook further disproved your theories about cooks being in separate sleeping quarters and following different routines when he shared that he sings with Jimin in the shower. If he truly had a different schedule…waking up or going to bed earlier than Jimin, how would they be showering at the same time? If cooks were actually separated from the rest, how would they even have the opportunity to do that?

Then, you once again claimed that Jimin and Jungkook don’t sleep in the same dorm, only for Jimin to talk about the conversations they have before going to bed. Hell they even talked on AYS about sleeping next to each other and stuff….yet here you are again, pushing another illogical narrative.

If you insist on engaging in mental gymnastics, let me ask you this: What would be the point of the buddy system if buddies who enlisted together to rely on each other and make military life easier for each other only ended up being separated? What purpose would that serve? I’ve told you before��forget everything you think you know about the Korean military and stop applying those assumptions to Jimin and Jungkook. They enlisted under the buddy program, which changes things for them. Maybe in general, other recruits sleep separately. Maybe other cooks really do follow different schedules. But none of that applies to Jimin and Jungkook because they are enlisted as buddies and there would be no purpose to them going through that process which landed them in the front lines of they only ended up getting separated which defeats the purpose.

Why is it so important for you to insist that they don’t share a dorm? Why go to such great lengths to prove otherwise? I understand that having Jimin and Jungkook themselves debunk the falsehoods you’ve clung to is difficult for you to accept. That must be painful. If I were in your position, I’d probably feel the same. But, darling, it’s time to accept reality. It’s not just anyone contradicting your claims…it’s Jimin and Jungkook themselves. They are the ones actually experiencing military life, not you. You don’t get to dictate their actions or interpret their words based on your personal preferences.

They’ve told you plainly: they are together. They shower together, sing together, and have discussions before bed. You can either accept that truth or continue raising your blood pressure trying to deny it. The choice is entirely yours.

#jikook #jimin #jungkook #my asks

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mullermilkshake · 2 days ago

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PART TWO - Kento Nanami x Fem!Reader x Satoru Gojo

Gojo worms his way inside. Tags -Yandere!Reader,Thoughts on murder,References to poison,Knives and cutting,Threats of burning,Mentions of masturbation,Threats of decapitation,Coercive behaviour,Yandere,Sexual tension

How did you convince Kento to allow Satoru Gojo into his home again?

Oh right, apparently you and Gojo became acquaintances after he ‘quit’ his job at that restaurant and by a random extremely slim chance, he took a job up at the coffee shop.

Kento was far too intelligent to fall for it, so how did he? You remembered how much you tried to convince him otherwise, but with Gojo breathing down your neck threatening Kento’s life, you didn’t exactly have a choice.

I’m going to kill that bastard in his sleep one of these days. Gojo’s muscular build put you at a disadvantage, but there were other ways you could skin a cat. Poison for example, just drop it in his drink and watch him choke over the entree before he had a chance to grab the fork from the napkin and stick Kento with it.

Maybe the old fashion throat slit would better suit a man of his calibre? The joy you’d get from seeing him struggle underneath you with all that fear in his eyes brought you more joy than presents on Christmas.

Though in the little time you’d known Gojo for, something told you that he’d like that.

Sadistic son of a bitch.

“Can you pass me the salt please, Darling?”

You blinked at him and registered what he asked for. “Yes- yes, of course.”

“Thank you.” He took the shaker and watched Gojo with a suspicious side eye. “So, Gojo. How are you finding your new job at the coffee shop? It’s quite a different change of pace from an upscale restaurant.”

Gojo watched you just the same. “Well, life’s short right? I’ve always loved a challenge.”

How was it that only you could sense the weight of the atmosphere? Kento just didn’t react to it, or he just didn’t let on. All you wanted to do was scream out and tell him what a deranged man Gojo was. The thing about Satoru Gojo you gauged fairly quickly was how he followed through with his promises. One little promise and Utahime had been off work for two weeks refusing to see anyone.

She never came in the day after she started gushing over Kento and made a comment that upset you. You never got a chance to shove a small hessian pouch of decaf coffee beans down her throat so that she choked and lost her voice. Gojo did something far worse.

He stole that opportunity to get Utahime out of the way entirely and never told you what he did. Such a dramatic man who ruined the experience for you.

“I'm actually thinking of leaving the coffee shop. Put my qualifications to good use.” You said, fiddling with your fork to throw Gojo off.

“You’re thinking of pursuing an academic role?” Kento smiled softly and rested his hand on your exposed knee. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah, I can go into teaching straightaway really. I’m thinking of applying for some positions before the next school year.”

Take that you creepy bastard.

Gojo had not said one word, you noticed his jaw clenching as leant on his hand off to the right. You could see the subtle change in his eyes, something Kento obviously did not see. Anger? Rage? Or…

You looked down at Kento’s arm, his hand had moved from your knee and now hung off the back of your chair, thumbing a little dip of your neck delicately as though on instinct.

He’s so affectionate, how can anyone get more perfect than him?

The man across the table grasped his fork in his hand to make his knuckles white as though it was made in the form of a warning. ‘Don’t mess with me.’

You sat back into Kento’s hand and folded your arms, watching him in the sudden silence to respond. ‘Try me you ignorant prick.’

“I dunno,” Gojo composed himself. “If you left now, we’d lose one pretty… good barista if you ask me.”

His grip never faltered and it was close to shaking, trembling at his strength. A behaviour to exhibit strength and show the weaker one what damage he could do. Deer did the exact same thing, rutting with each other until they claimed victory to show those weaker not to fuck about or they’d get impaled. Sort of the same as that fork in his hand although not as small and discreet.

Oh, and deers got to fuck their counterparts after.

Something you dreaded thinking about because you wanted to forget about it. Gojo’s speech in the bathroom, his closeness and blunt nature admitting he wanted you. Like… wanted you. You simply denied him that and look where it got you, the man was a menace and never let up until you’d grown sick of him showing up at the coffee shop.

Fucking stalker, nowhere near chivalrous like Kento.

And the fact that he knew your dark side, the one you struggled keeping tied up like someone who inconvenienced Kento in some way shoved in the trunk of your car, made it difficult to process. It grew more and more problematic the longer he was in your's and Kento’s lives. Holy fuck, you really wanted to kill that man, climb over the table and launch yourself like a flapping fish right in his face and ram your thumbs into his blue eyes until they ran red.

Satoru Gojo knew that too. That was his trademark, counteracting and predicting anything you threw at him. Knowing what you wanted before you knew you wanted it. Hell, he even told you he loved you.

That was supposed to be Kento’s line. And he stole it.

A big moment you could never forgive Gojo for.

“You are very good in your job role, but I’ll support you in whatever line of work you choose.” Kento pulled away and finished what was left on his plate. “An academic role is a great step forward for you.”

“Nanami, why don’t you talk about what you do as a job, huh? I don’t think she’s mentioned it before.” Gojo spoke your name with such a drawl you almost kicked him under the table.

“I’m in stocks and shares-”

“Oh!” You gasped and caught yourself too late.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah.” You weren’t, Gojo’s foot found your leg. “I just forgot that I was meant to prepare dessert before we sat down- I’m so silly, I’m sorry Ken. I’ll go out and do it now.”

Kento held out his hand and offered to let you stay seated. “It’s alright, I’ll go and sort it. You stay here. I’ll get more wine too.”

“Thank you, baby.” Watching him walk away with a sweet smile, your face dropped once he was out of ear shot.

You practically shouted at Gojo with the most delicate whisper ever. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

He got closer to the table and watched you with the most adoring eyes from anybody you had ever seen with a smile to match. “Y’know, it’s funny how in sync we are.”

However, you had no time for it, your eyes darted back and forth from the kitchen to the dining table. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I have qualifications in teaching too.” He grinned at your falling expression.

No. He couldn’t follow you there too, could he? You were stretched thin enough as it was, grasping at straws to get your footing in repelling him and keeping Kento away from his grip. And here he was inserting himself into your life.

“Leave us alone, I don’t want any of this.”

Gojo’s expression fell for just a second, you almost missed it before he put his mask back on. “Don’t lie to me.”

“You ruin this for me and I’ll fucking kill you… I worked too hard to make sure I could be with him, I won’t let anything get in between us, especially not you.”

“Here we are.” Kento brought through three plates and a wine bottle under his arm. “Now, where was I? Oh, stocks and shares, that’s what you were interested in, right?”

“Mhm,” Gojo nodded and stabbed his dessert with his fork. “Tell me all about it.”

If anyone walked now, it would have seemed like the two were getting along going back and forth batting between sentences and random questions. It looked like Kento tolerated Gojo and actually seemed happy enough to give him answers to his stupid questions.

However, under the table was a different story entirely. Gojo took every opportunity to rub your leg with his foot as absentmindedly as Kento did with his little adoring touches.

I’m fucked.

You managed to tolerate twenty minutes of torture before excusing yourself to the bathroom. It was a risk, though with how early in this weird fucked aquaintanceship with Gojo went, you surmised that he’d leave Kento to collect the dishes when he stated that he’d clear up. Only for a minute.

So, you disappeared and plopped yourself down on the toilet just waiting for your breaths to settle. This theory, because it was not guaranteed, never stopped your beating heart from fluttering and not in a good way. What if he did hurt him?

Holding a breath, you stood up and went for the door lock, hesitating and shaking yourself out of it. The danger for Kento was too great to sit hidden up in a fucking toilet. Taking a second to observe your surroundings, you noticed a glass file by the sink. One of yours you left here.

Perfect.

Siipping it into your grasp, you fiddled with the lock and opened it. The thought of just threatening Gojo made you feel much better. But Gojo stood right in front of you when the door opened.

Before you could make contact with the file to his neck, he wrapped his slender fingers around your wrists and shoved you back in the bathroom, clicking the door closed behind him.

“That nail file is pretty cute. Wanna give me a manicure or act really scary to get me off?” He got so close, nose to nose full of his hot breath and cologne.

“Get off of me.” He resisted your struggles and squeezed a little tighter to make you wince. “I said get off.”

Gojo smirked so smugly, his eyes darted about your face and could not keep still. “You think you’re pretty funny letting him touch you that way in front of me. There’s nothing stoppin’ me from walking downstairs and taking his sweet little head for myself to watch me while I jerk off to your picture. A trophy if you will. Would you like that?”

Your eyes darted to the glow of the downstairs lamp, clattering dishes in the distance. “Don’t touch him, or I’m setting you on fire in your sleep.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” He could have kissed you, yet he refrained and watched you behind his lidded eyes. “I’m going to make your life more interesting around here and you’ll thank me for it. Y’know why?”

“Stop it.”

He readjusted himself as you pulled away and forced you up against the wall again. “There’s something in you that enjoys this, otherwise you would have told me to hit the sidewalk and ignored me completely. Now I’m tolerating Nanami for the time being because I couldn’t bear to see that pretty face sad, but soon enough when he outlives his usefulness, I’ll kill him.”

You almost growled in response. “Try me.”

“I’d love to.” He pulled away and strolled out of the bathroom leaving you there to contemplate your life.

Like a puppy you followed him downstairs to keep him from doing anything. Kento stood over the threshold of the kitchen, wiping a dish over.

Gojo spoke up before you ever could. “Thanks for showing me around, I got a little lost.”

What a lying bastard- shithead- prick- asshole. “It’s no worry, I forgot where the bathroom was when I first came over.”

“Were you snooping around my wine collection, Gojo?”

“Guilty!” He threw up his hands with a childish grin. “I’m not much of a drinker but I appreciate a collection when I see one.”

“You’re a collector?”

Gojo shook his hand a little to measure his indecisiveness. “Sort of…”

Even though he faced away from you, his eyes were glaring in your direction on some sort of reflective surface. “I like collecting trophies. Anything really, I’m good at everything I put my mind to. It’s like I said before, I love a challenge.”

Tag list - @nanamineedstherapy, @indiewritesxoxo

Hi! 😊

Your writing is so immersive that it feels cinematic—like watching a movie unfold in real time. I love how you always manage to surprise me with plot twists that I never see coming! It’s such a refreshing change from knowing exactly where the story is headed.

I’d absolutely love if you could give Yandere!Reader another go with Nanamin. I think it would be fascinating since Nanami’s level-headedness might keep him from suspecting her. And if you're open to poly ships, it’d be thrilling to add Gojo into the mix with a twist—Yandere!Reader x Nanami x Gojo, but with Gojo secretly yandere all along. Maybe he’s been stalking both of them, planning for the perfect moment to reveal his obsession and orchestrating their “first meeting” to suit his agenda. I’ll leave the rest to your creativity, as I’m sure you’ll bring unexpected layers and depth!

Thank you for considering this! I’m so grateful for all the hard work you put into your stories. 😊🌸

Thanks so much for the kind words! It really means a lot. I love trying to write it all cinematic and doing things that go against the grain because my brain is twisted lol.

I can definitely do that, I hope you enjoy it!

Kento Nanami x Reader x Satoru Gojo

TAGS- Yandere!Reader,Yandere!Gojo,Stalking,Thoughts of killing people,Yandere!thoughts and motives,Masking,Graphic depictions of violence and mentions of damage to eyes.

One americano, two shots of espresso and two pumps of vanilla. Every day at seven thirty five. But not on Sundays sometimes because meetings run over.

“Oh! I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going- oh god look at your suit, it must be expensive right?”

It was about time you made proper contact with Kento Nanami. You watched on in awe at his stance, brushing the coffee away from his suit in such a way it made the mundane action sexy. Lustrous. Like he was trying to make the way he allowed a strand of hair to fall past his forehead almost purposefully. With an intent to send you crazy.

Good thing you weren’t like those fangirls you often saw on television, crawling about the stage because a man gyrated over his mic. No, you were merely a coffee barista. A damn good one at that. Well, except for spilling coffee all over Kento’s suit.

But how else were you going to get his attention?

You were barely hanging on as it was watching the others make his drink to order. That’s why you made this one for him.

Jesus fucking hell Utahime It’s two pumps of vanilla. I swear I could kill that bitch right now. Shove head under the hot water valve and watch her eyes burn out the sockets.

It was a little drastic, even for you, but if anyone just saw the way Utahime was talking to Kento they would have assumed the two were dating or something. Kento Nanami was single. Definitely single.

The last girl he wanted to date just never made it to that coffee date on time.

None of his other dates did either.

“It’s fine, really.” The first sentence he spoke to you wasn't ‘thank you’ or his coffee order.

A formulated sentence.

Well, that was five months ago. Kento Nanami made the right choice that day to accept your invitation for a drink. Just like you planned. All seemed well and good for a time before you were noticing something strange when out in public.

White hair.

It was all you seemed to ever see. Out in the store or late night trip to the movies, hooked up to Kento’s arm during a scary or suspenseful part. It just seemed to be there, though you never knew who it belonged to. Never a face to linger for a second to make the connection. Just nothing. It tickled the back of your neck, putting you on the defense as though Kento was in danger. What sort of fucked up person would stalk someone? The idea of it was deranged, sick at the thought that someone was watching him, watching you with him.

White hair. You just couldn’t place it.

“Ken, love! What do you think of this dress?!” You called from upstairs, slipping on your shoes and smoothing down the hem of the fabric.

“I’m sure it’s perfect-” He paused, looking you up and down as though studying every inch of your body before he forgot what it looked like.

“Do I look pretty?”

He nodded slowly, stepping close to sit his hand on your waist. “You look beautiful.”

Hearing Kento say such kind and wonderful things made your night, heck, your entire week. Who gave a crap what anyone else thought? Just Kento was more than what you needed to prove that he liked you very much. You loved him of course, but that was love at first sight. Counting down the agonising days until he said it back to you, when you told him all the time in your head or whilst he slept. It took restraint not to slip up and make him doubt things.

So difficult not to say it for the man you loved.

“Thank you.” You giggled at his touch, planting a kiss on your temple with a husky growl in his throat.

“Maybe we should leave dinner tonight? I can’t possibly see how I’ll cope without taking you back to mine straight away. Too beautiful.”

“Restrain yourself, Ken. Someone might think you’re in love with me or something!” Your ecstatic grin sat just in front of your face as though to mask your brain away.

Say it… just say it please. Tell me you love me. I need to hear it.

His attentive smile made your stomach flip when he pulled you close and spun you around to face the mirror. “If they saw your smile, they would understand what a lovely person you are. And see how I can’t resist you when you’re in a dress like this.”

Oh dear. Maybe some other time.

“Well,” You kept that mask on and pulled away from him. “Should we get going then? Don’t want to be late.”

“Of course.”

Kento drove straight to the restaurant, quite an upscale place for no occasion. Maybe there was? Perhaps Kento had something planned that you were unaware of, something spontaneous or quite the opposite. A planned surprise? It was practically the night of your five month month anniversary after all, two hundred wonderful days spent seeing each other and having astronomical sex.

You didn’t get your hopes up and held your breath when he climbed out of the car and opened the door for you. So special. So dedicated to your comfort with the slightest touch from his fingers on the small of your back. Adrenaline made everything ten times more acute, aware of everything and anything you walked by and as you seated yourself at the table facing Kento, your heart beat so fast. Five months was a long time when you had waited longer to be with him.

You were basically in a relationship with him for well over a year by now it seemed, surely that was long enough to hear those three words?

“Can I get you any drinks?” The waitress grinned at Kento and then at you.

Why him first? He was the most handsome man you had ever seen, but what right did this bitch have setting eyes on him? You ignored the irritation and blinked it away for now, letting Kento speak for you and took a moment to observe the room.

White hair.

A flash of it and you would have missed it had you turned away to scowl at the waitress again. White hair like you were imagining it.

“Darling?”

“Hm?”

“Are you alright?” Kento slid his hand forward and offered it to you. “You seem distant.”

“I’m fine.” You were not, but took his hand anyway. “It’s a little chilly in here, don’t you think?”

“I’ll ask them to turn the heat up, will that be alright?”

He’s so considerate. “That would be great, thank you.”

You played it off and ignored the itch on the back of your neck, being watched did not agree with you. Kento sat still and his head tilted to the side a little, studying you again whilst his free hand rummaged into his suit pocket.

“I have something for you.” He pulled out a little box. “I know we haven’t been dating that long, but I wanted to get you something I hope you’ll like. If it’s too early, please let me know.”

A box. A small little box. It was light in your hand, velvet to the touch and firm enough that it must have come from those places that sold rings for stupid money. One little box, something so small which held your heart right in Kento’s pocket.

Is he proposing? Please tell me he’s proposing. It means he loves me, right?

“Ken… What-” A pair of earrings.

“I know you lost one from the pair you always said you wore, so I wanted to get you a new pair. I hope it’s appropriate.”

You forbid yourself to be disappointed, because it wasn’t about the hope that a ring sat nestled perfectly in this box. You put up your mask and smiled sweetly enough to satisfy him. “It is. Thank you so much, I love them!”

He’ll propose some day.

“Here are your drinks.”

The waitress took Kento’s drink off first and placed it right in front of him. Then she placed yours down off to the side. She was doing it on purpose, you were sure of it. The steak knife on the table looked pretty good to shove straight in her neck-

She cleared her throat and placed the tray under her arm. “I’ll be back in a moment to see what you'd like to order.”

“Thank you.” Kento paid no mind to it and took a sip of his wine. “This is a nice vintage, I think we should go to one of those wine tasting evenings. It’s a good place to get to know each other more.”

You did not need to know Kento more. You knew practically everything about him in the four months he stepped into your life physically.

He liked to drink, hence the wine tasting suggestion. Kento also enjoyed cooking, especially as he lived alone in his apartment, but he also enjoyed dishing up delicacies in your own kitchen. His birthday was July third and he had a particular interest in the arts, like music and theatre. A man of many tastes.

“Hello there, can I get you something to eat?” A voice of a man you did not recognise came into ear shot.

“I think we might need a minute. Our waitress is taking our order.”

White hair.

You looked up and saw white hair, only this time it did not disappear. The white hair had a face, a blue eyed porcelain complexion with a smooth grin. The man stood taller than Kento dressed in a suit and staff ID.

“I’m sorry, she suddenly became unwell and had to go home. I’ll be taking your order tonight.” He smiled again and made eye contact with you. “My name is Satoru Gojo and I will do everything I can to make sure your night is perfect.”

Gojo. His gaze over you was the exact same distinct feeling of being preyed on. His cutting glare just behind the loose strands of hair over his forehead that looked softer than a cloud. You didn’t know what to make of this, but at least that waitress was gone. You really thought you were going to have to do something about her.

“Alright then. I’ll be back momentarily.”

“Ken, I’m just going to use the restroom, if he comes back before then, can you order me…” You took a brief glance at the menu and chose anything you first landed your eyes on. Gojo wandered off towards the opposite end of the restaurant, somewhere not where the kitchen was. “The steak? I’ll have it however it’s recommended.”

“Alright.”

You took off and made your way over towards the restroom, noting that he had disappeared. Crap. You wanted answers to why it seemed like that man was following you, stalking Kento for no apparent reason.

Would you need to do something about this guy? He was taller than you realised, so he must have been stronger too. You were not super strong by a long stretch, but when pushed enough to the limit, it drove you to do things you thought your body was not capable of.

Just look at the last waitress that brought the wrong drink and almost spilt it all over him just last week. So much blood and she was still wailing after you shoved your stiletto heel in her face.

People never learn.

By the time you reached the restroom, the stalls were all empty besides one. The long wall length mirror outlined them all like little match boxes opened after use, showing the amber light inside for an ambient glow.

“How did I know that I’d find you in here, hm?” Gojo’s voice echoed throughout the restroom.

It startled you enough to move towards the door and lock it, backing away from the closed door and sitting your back flush with the slate grey tiles adjacent to it.

The toilet stall opened and he came out much less cheerful than he was outside, hands tight in his trouser pockets. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”

“Who are you?”

“It’s funny, no one else ever seems to notice me when I don't want them to. But your instincts are hot on it every time, aren’t they?”

“Tell me who you are.”

This wasn’t a show of weakness or a moment that revealed your vulnerabilities. When you glared back in his eyes, it was Kento you thought of. If this man was here to hurt him, well, you’d fucking kill him. Out in the back alley, no witnesses and back in time for your steak and boyfriend you’d do anything for. To kill for three times over already. Yes, you’d do it if the opportunity called for it.

“Y’know, I was so ready to come and kick the shit out of that guy when I saw that little box he gave you, but I see right through that little charade you got goin’ on. I've been watching' you a while now.” By now, he’d taken precisely four steps towards you, taking the opportunity to lean against the row of inbuilt sinks. “You’re exactly like me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you need to stop stalking me and my boyfriend. I’ll call the police.”

Gojo’s laugh made your stomach lurch. This guy was a whole new level of crazy you had never seen before. “That’s cute. You’re cute. But no, I’m not stalking him, just you.”

“Then stop doing that.”

“Why, aren’t you scared that I might do what I just said I was goin’ to do? He looks strong but when he has his hands all over you, it sorta drives me crazy.”

Gojo would not make it past the restroom door if he intended on hurting Kento. Yet, why did you contemplate that you’d rather take on the waitress instead of him right now?

Shaking the doubts away, you imagined the scenarios that may occur should you get hold of another steak knife or any other sharp object really. One of the heavy statues in the foyer could prove adequate to crush his head or even one of those little blow torches for creme brûlée right to his face.

For now, your mask dropped, and for a time you could breathe a little. Pretending to be happy all the time was difficult work and holding back on punching anyone who gave eyes at Kento took practice and great restraint. “If you go near him at all, I’ll kill you. I won’t just kill you though, it’ll be worse than torture.”

Gojo stepped closer to you and looked down as though you were a child to be patronised. “That’s my girl. Now, why don’t you introduce me to your little boyfriend so we can make this more official, huh?”

He’d backed you into a corner, right up against the wall. “I meant what I said. Don’t come near us.”

“And I know you have the same urges as me, you think no one sees, but I do. I see you. You won’t have to pretend around me. I’ll even do all your dirty work, that’s what I enjoy most.” He placed his palm on the wall beside your head, leaning in so his mouth was right next to your ear.

“Lets get this fucked up little love triangle kickin’ hm?

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rispwr · 3 days ago

Text

A thin line between love and hate - KNJ - mini

Pairings : knj x fem! Reader

Genre : flufffff, students au, frienemies to lovers,

Contents : alot of bickering, just kissing, love letters, confusion, buzz cut namjoon, academic rival! Namjoon, he is down baddd (in secret).

Synopsis : 100 reasons to leave but 1 reason to stay.

Notes : this is a test post if i should actually continue this story so tell me what you all think!!

“Read this when you get home, Namjoon,” I said, handing him the letter.

“What-” he started, but I quickly cut him off. “I don’t accept any responses that aren’t written in a letter,” I said fast, my heart pounding so loudly I swore he could hear it.

He chuckled, his eyes falling on the envelope, and I immediately regretted the kiss mark I had stamped on it earlier. “To: Namjoon, from: the gorgeous one and only,” he read out loud with an annoying grin. “Are you gonna finally confess your undying love for me, my Miss ‘Gorgeous One and Only’?” he teased.

I rolled my eyes and hit him lightly on the chest. “I-I’ll go home,” I stammered, spinning on my heel to leave, but before I could take another step, he grabbed my arm.

“Wait,” he said, turning me back toward him. His gaze softened as he studied my face like he was trying to figure out what I wasn’t saying. Then, out of nowhere, he pressed the back of his hand to my forehead, then my neck.

“What are you doing?” I squealed, slapping his hand away.

“You’re not the mean Y/N I know. Are you sick or something?” he asked, tilting his head like he was genuinely concerned.

“Good god, Namjoon, I am not mean,” I groaned, flipping my hair dramatically.

“Yes, you are,” he shot back.

“No, I’m not!”

“You called my hair ‘freshly cut grass if you burn it to crisps.’”

I clamped my mouth shut, refusing to argue with him anymore. “Just- just go home, get unready, read the letter, then think about it and write back to me,” I said, rolling my eyes again for good measure.

“And if I don’t write back?” he teased, the corner of his mouth twitching into that smirk I hated and… didn’t hate.

“Then don’t,” I said quickly, spinning around and walking away before he could see how red my face was.

Behind me, I heard him chuckling softly, and I didn’t need to look back to know he was still standing there, watching me.

——

The letter

“Dear, namjoon.

I don’t even know how to start this. I’ve written and rewritten this letter a hundred times in my head, but now that it’s finally in front of me, I feel like I can’t find the right words. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe there aren’t any perfect words for this mess of feelings I have for you.

I guess I should start with the truth. this was supposed to be a list of all the reasons why I should leave you alone. A list of all the ways you make me so mad, so frustrated, so impossibly confused that I want to walk away and never look back. I thought if I wrote it all down, I’d finally convince myself to let you go. But the problem is, every reason I came up with to leave you somehow turned into a reason

I couldn’t.

I hate the way you tease me. You’re always making these cutting little comments, smirking like it’s a game to see how far you can push me before I snap. You make me feel small sometimes, and I hate that. But then, when it really matters, you’re so damn gentle. Like that time I twisted my ankle during practice, and you carried me all the way to the nurse’s office without saying a word. You didn’t laugh at me or tease me that time. You just stayed.

I hate how you always say you’d never stick around for someone like me. You said once that the day you stay by my side would be the day you die. But when I got sick last month, you were the first one at my door. You stayed up all night, making sure I had everything I needed. I remember the way your hand brushed against mine when you gave me medicine, and I hated how much that simple touch made me feel safe.

I hate how you act like you don’t care. Like nothing about me matters to you. “I don’t care who likes you,” you said once. But I’ve seen the way your eyes darken when someone flirts with me. I’ve seen you bite back comments when someone gets too close. You don’t care, right? Then why do I catch you watching me like you’re afraid I might slip through your fingers?

I hate how we’re always competing. I hate how every test, every class, every little thing turns into a battle between us. You drive me insane. And then I found out you purposely bombed the math competition last year so I could win. Do you have any idea how furious that made me? How much it made me want to scream at you and then cry? You’re the only person who could make me feel so many things at once.

God, I hate how you always roll your eyes whenever someone brings up the idea of us being together. Like the thought of kissing me is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. But the way you looked at me that night on the rooftop, don’t think I didn’t notice. You looked at me like you were trying to memorize the curve of my lips, like you were imagining what it would feel like to finally cross that line we’ve been toeing for years.

I hate the faces you make when people tease us. You make it so obvious you want everyone to stop talking about it, like the idea of us is something ridiculous. But then there are the moments when you don’t realize I’m watching. Like when we were studying in the library, and you stare at me a little too long before shaking your head and going back to your book. I wonder what you’re thinking in those moments.

Do you remember the picnic you planned last spring? You pretended like it was no big deal, like you were just being “nice.” But you remembered everything. my favorite snacks, my favorite flowers, even that stupid song I said reminded me of summer. You don’t just pay attention, Namjoon. You remember. You care. You say you hate me, but your actions… they say something completely different.

That’s what this all comes down to, isn’t it? Your actions. You can say you hate me a thousand times, but every single thing you do tells me the opposite. You tease me, but you’re the first person to comfort me when I’m upset. You push me away, but you’re always there when I need someone to lean on. You say you don’t care, but you’ve made it impossible for me to believe that.

You make me question everything myself, my feelings, you. I hate how much power you have over me. I hate how you make me feel vulnerable, like my heart is constantly in your hands. But most of all, I hate how much I love you for it.

Namjoon, I could list a hundred reasons why I should walk away from you. A hundred reasons why I should hate you. But there’s one reason I can’t.

You.

Because for all your contradictions and flaws, for all the ways you drive me absolutely insane, you’ve shown me something no one else ever has. what it means to be seen. Truly seen. You see me, and that’s why I stay.

So, yeah, I hate you. But I love you more. And I think maybe I always will.

Love, Y/N”

———-

The response

Dear, Y/N

I don’t even know where to start. Is this a confession? A declaration? Or just me finally telling the truth? Whatever it is, it feels like I’m submitting an essay to you, and if I know you well enough, you’re probably laughing at the thought. Or rolling your eyes. Either way, here I am.

You really had to go and write that letter, didn’t you? I read it five times before I could even process what you were saying. I’d look at the words, try to let them sink in, and then find myself going back to the beginning because I didn’t trust myself to read it right the first time. And now, here I am, trying to figure out how to say everything I’ve been keeping inside for way too long.

I’m going to be honest. I’ve been so confused. About you. About us. About everything. It feels like my entire existence has been one long argument with myself. I’ve tried so hard to hate you. I’ve tried. But it’s like every time I convince myself that I’ve won the fight, you do something that tears me apart all over again.

The more I’ve tried to hate you, the more I’ve fallen for you. And I hate that. I hate that love and hate are built on such a thin, fragile line, because I’ve been walking that line since the day we met. And the truth is, I’m ready to cross it. I think I crossed it a long time ago.

Do you remember the math competition last year? Of course you do. you brought it up in your letter. You think I tanked it for you because I wanted you to win. But it wasn’t about the win, Y/N. It was about you. You think you’re the only one who notices things? I’ve been paying attention to you since the day we met. The way you light up when you succeed. The way your hands shake when you’re nervous but you try to hide it. The way you care so deeply about everything, even when you act like you don’t.

I saw that fire in you, and I knew that you deserved that win. You deserved everything. Even if it meant giving up my own shot at SNU Because what’s a scholarship to me when I can see you reach for the stars and actually touch them?

I don’t know how to talk to you without fumbling over my words. So I make fun of you instead. I say stupid things like, “I’d never stay by your side” or “kissing you would be a mistake,” because the alternative is saying, “You terrify me.”

You terrify me because you make me want things I’ve never wanted before. You make me want to be better, softer, more vulnerable. And I hate that vulnerability, but I’d give it all to you if you asked.

The truth is, I loved you before we even met. Remember your debate 4 years ago? I saw you before you ever saw me. You were standing at the front of the room, flipping through your notes with this look of determination on your face. You bit your lip when you were focused, and I thought to myself, There she is. There’s the person who’s going to turn my whole world upside down.

And you did. Not in the way I imagined this back and forth, this endless teasing and fighting but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Every insult, every sarcastic comment, every time you rolled your eyes at me it’s all brought me closer to you. Closer to this moment.

Guess i was right. It was a confession for your undying love for me.

I love you, I’ve loved you since watching that debate, since before I even knew what love was supposed to feel like. And I love you even more now. I love you more than I hate how messy this all is. I love you more than I care about making sense of it. I love you more than I could ever put into words, and trust me, I’ve tried.

This is my response to your letter. It’s messy and chaotic, just like us. But it’s real. It’s me. And it’s all for you.

Always, Namjoon

——

“Here. Here’s the response to your love letter,” Namjoon said, holding out an envelope in my favorite color: purple.

“Wow-“ I started, but before I could say anything else, he pulled me in and kissed me.

I froze for a second, completely caught off guard, but then I melted into it, my hands instinctively wrapping around his neck. His grip on my waist tightened, like he didn’t want to let go. When he finally pulled away, his eyes locked on mine, and I could feel my face burning.

“That’s my physical response to you,” he teased, his smirk making me feel even more flustered.

“And this is your verbal response?” I asked, glancing down at the letter in my hands, trying to tease him back but failing miserably because I couldn’t stop smiling.

He grinned, watching as I nervously started to open the envelope. “Wait- don’t open it here,” he said, stopping my hand.

I looked at him, confused. “Why not?”

“Let’s go somewhere nicer,” he said, tilting his head slightly. “Our place? Han River?”

My eyes lit up, and a big smile spread across my face as I nodded. “Okay”

Bonus part

“Joonnn! I’m not prepared!” I squealed, half laughing, half dying of embarrassment as Namjoon hovered over me, his lips pressing soft kisses to my neck.

“What are you talking about?” he mumbled between kisses, his voice low and teasing.

“I haven’t shaved, okay? And- and I’m not even wearing nice undies right now… I’m wearing my grandma undies,” I blurted out, my voice dropping into a whisper by the end, mortified.

Namjoon pulled back just slightly, raising an eyebrow at me. “So what? I like nature,” he said, deadpan.

My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, stop- ” I burst into laughter, shoving at his chest. “I won’t be able to look at nature the same way ever again, you crazy man!”

“Crazy? Me? Well i am for you,” he whispered dramatically, his lips moving lower as his hands found my waist. I gasped, half in shock, half trying to wriggle away from his hold.

“Are you insane?” I whisper yelled, my hands tangling in his hair to pull him back up. But he just looked at me with that stupid smirk of his.

“Do you not wanna do it? I can stop, baby,” he said, his voice soft and genuine, but the way he was grinning made it clear he was enjoying my mortification a little too much.

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands before blurting out, “Just- just let me go to the bathroom real quick!”

Before he could say anything else, I scrambled off the bed and bolted to the bathroom like my life depended on it, slamming the door shut behind me.

When I finally came out, after way too long debating if I could ever look him in the eye again, Namjoon was already lying in bed, grinning like an idiot. “What took you so long, Grandma Undies?”

“Namjoon!” I yelled, throwing a pillow at him as he laughed, pulling me into his arms.

In the end, nothing happened. We just ended up cuddling to sleep, his arms wrapped tightly around me while he whispered about how much he loved me. And honestly? That was more than enough.

#rispwr #bts #bts x reader #namjooning #namjoon x you #namjoon fic #namjoon fanfic #namjoon bts #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader #namjoon #rm bts #bts rm

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luvyurself · 23 hours ago

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family matter

a/n : inspired by this post from @cabbagethegoldfish because I just found it silly and cute ‼️

c/w : she/her pronouns used, polygamy(?), you are dating all the brothers cause I love them all teehee, ‼️ NO INC$ET ‼️ reader is said to have four brothers and a little sister, kind of projecting lolol, just fluff and silliness

the table was just as lively as ever, filled with random chatter and bickering of everyone’s day and what not.

she listened as mammon talked on and on to asmo across the table while subconsciously fiddling with beel’s fingers as he sat next to her.

the sixth born didn’t mind, he had no trouble stuffing his face with using only one hand. he would flex his fingers under hers from time to time.

she was also right next to lucifer, by his order (and not because he loved to have her physically next to him), as he also listened to what his brothers were talking about.

she stuck some food into her mouth, tuning in to what was being discussed.

“you know what can liven this place up-“ mammon began, sticking his fork into his food and pointing with it, “a pet.”

lucifer rose a hand up, “no. you can barely take care of yourself, mammon.” he ignored his younger brother sputtering at the insult, “and besides, we have cerbeus.”

“that thing is barley a pet!” asmo spoke, gripping his arms tightly, “we can’t even go down there without the risk of getting eaten alive!”

the oldest held back an eye roll, “and may I remind you of levi’s old pet?” levi flinched at the call back, looking up from his phone, “he-hey! don’t bring henry 1.0 into this!”

satan snorted a bit, a grin stretched on his lips. “don’t think I forgot about your hoarding problem, satan.”

green eyes snapped towards the end of the table, his grin gone as he scoffed, “I do not have a hoarding problem, lucifer.”

“I’ve woken up with more cat hair in my mouth in your room than anywhere.” belphie mumbled, eyes closed as he leaned on his palm.

satan rolled his eyes, grumbling something to himself as he stabbed his fork into his food.

she listened on for a little while more, before she cleared her throat. “my brothers actually had like….how much was it-four or five lizards.”

she pulled her hand away and began counting on her fingers, “actually we had a dog, four lizards, a tortoise, a bearded dragon, and oh- another dog.”

a hum escaped her lips, “I wonder how they’re doing.” she mumbled to herself, putting her hand down as she began to eat again.

it was only after a minute that the table grew quiet, her gaze moving upwards to find them all staring at her. she covered her mouth with one hand, a bit of food in her mouth as she swallowed, “….what?”

beel scooted a bit closer to her, “what did you say right now?” he spoke, stuffing his mouth with food afterwards.

“about the pets, oh, that I had like-“

“no no no, sweetheart-“ asmo grinned, cupping his hands together as he leaned onto the table, a grin on his face, “you said something about…brothers?”

her brows furrowed, nodding her head, “oh, yeah, I have brothers, a little sister too.” the avatar of lust gasped, a little squeal escaping his lips.

lucifer rose a brow, “you never mentioned anything about siblings.” she gave a awkward smile and a small shrug, “ah, well….it never got brought up.”

mammon leaned back into his chair, “really? you could had atleast told me, I mean, we’ve basically told each other everything!” he bit his lip in thought after a moment, “I mean, not everything, but you know-!”

satan propped his hand on his chin, “you mentioned brothers…how much do you have?” he asked, his tone a bit curious.

she tapped her finger on the table, feeling her smile grow a little wider, “four.”

levi sputtered a bit, finally giving his full attention, “fuh-four?! you had to deal with four brothers?!”

belphie grumbled a bit at the loud noise, though he seemed more awake than usual, “no wonder she can put up with us so easily.”

beel laughed a bit at that, turning to face his twin, “yeah, she has experience with brother stupidity.” he looked back at her again, “and you have a little sister?”

she nodded, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers, “ye-yeah,” she cleared her throat, “I have five siblings, I’m the second oldest.”

mammon grinned at that, “I didn’t know you were a second born too! no wonder we are so good together.” he pressed a hand to his chest, “second oldest are obviously the best ones.”

his younger brothers all groaned at that, lucifer shifting to pick up his wine glass as a tiny grin spread across his lips, “so, you come from a big family, hm?”

and with that, a whole flurry of questions were unloaded on her. all coming from different sides of her.

“how did you deal with so much brothers?”

“do any of them like anime?”

“family dinners must be fulfilling to feed that much.”

“imagine taking trips with that much siblings! did you all fit in a car?”

she shrunk a bit in her chair, feeling her ears grow warmer as she tried her best to answer the questions.

lucifer watched with a grin all the while, seeing how much his brothers seemed so invested in her families life.

“you know,” he started off, making the table go silent as he took another sip of wine, “it’s only cordial to….meet your parents as well.”

she let out a awkward laugh, “ah-ah? meet-meet my parents?” she stuttered, not knowing if he was actually joking or not.

he nodded, “of course, it’s only natural if we meet our girlfriends parents and family, is it not?” his grin grew a bit more, his tone ever the more serious as it always is.

asmo clapped a that, squealing, “ohh, we just have to go!” he cupped his cheek as he dreamily sighed, “a trip to the human world to meet your family, and to think what they can show us about you,”

he began to list off the things out loud, “childhood stories, family history, baby pictures-“ he then cut himself off with a gasp, slamming his hands on the table as he let out a squeal once more, “baby pictures! oh I bet you were adorable!”

she blinked, “wha-what are you-“

“hey, parents love showing their kids partners baby photos.” mammon pointed out, getting excited too, “I bet if we asked, they would show us her whole photo album!”

levi giggled a bit, hiding his face with his hands as his voice came through, “ahhh! cute-cuteness overload!”

beel spoke with his mouth full, “we should start packing.” his voice was muffled a bit, but his brothers knew what he said.

before she could stop anyone, satan stood up, sly grin on his face, “I’m already on it.” he then turned and began walking out, the others following.

“no-no wait, guys-!”

“I’m keeping a picture for when we get back!” levi began, making asmo whine, “no fair! I want one too!”

mammon ran after them, “I call standing next to her when lucifer makes the portal!”

“we already called it.” beel spoke, walking passed him with belphie next to him, “snooze you lose, mammon,” the youngest spoke, yawing a bit as mammon groaned, “hey! I’m older, so I have more authority!”

soon enough, it was just her and lucifer at the table. she shot a look at him, who still had that stupid handsome grin on his face, “why didn’t you say anything?”

he hummed, grabbing a napkin and wiping his mouth with it, “who am I to crush their spirits?” he spoke, standing up from his chair and walking behind her.

“where are you going?” she asked, following him with her eyes as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“well, what else? going to inform diavolo of our….upcoming trip.” he rubbed the spot for a bit, before moving the hand to her hair and brushing through it and walking away, “better begin packing.”

she watched as he walked away, hearing his footsteps echo until it was finally quiet. she groaned and rested her head on the table, letting out a long sigh.

she should have just kept her mouth shut.

#x female reader #x reader #fluff #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me x reader #obey me x female reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphagor x reader

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hopefullyyoursmcg · 1 day ago

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Hii!! 🤖 Anon here (sorry I’ve not been active😭)

I‘ve been thinking about which Batboy would make the most sense to be the Baby daddy and to be honest I have no clue.

I think in a way it could all fit and make sense really.

For instance:

Dick has always tried to have some sort of connection with Routine!Reader, an perhaps it was never really in a sibling way because of the distance between them both.

Jason and Routine!Reader weren’t even raised at the same time within the manor, and by the time they met properly she was already past the age of wanting any connections.

Tim already had pre-existing obsessive tendencies surrounding her, from what I can tell, and probably has had the most interactions with her due to their similarities.

But I’d love to know what you think! I really loved your response to my previous ask about these three being romantic yanderes in this fic because I think there’s so much potential that should be explored by writers because, to a point, some of these platonic fics just seem so repetitive. Let’s change up the dynamics a bit y’know?

Ok good news, I put up a poll and it looks like you will still get some Romantic batboys.

Now let's get into the romantic potential of the batboys.

Now first of all, as Rountine! reader did not grow up anywhere near the three boys(because one was busy, one was dead and the other was doing his own thing until the actual moment they meet) or she was just at the time where she couldn't give a damn.

Dick, as you said, couldn't really grow close to the reader due to not spending time with her when they were younger. However, when he was trying to be better and be close to the growing family, routine!reader just didn't want to be near him. She did not look annoyed, nor did she look angry, she just looked at him like he was nothing. In the past when Routine Reader was at a family dinner(which she didn't want to be there) Dick would try to talk to her, but she gave him nothing. Now thinking about how dick actually realizes it is a whole new battle. I like to believe that he would realize what his feeling is while he's trying to sleep and all he can think of is Routine! reader's cold face staring at him.

Now as I said many times before, Jason was dead when she was brought in. But they meet after his vengeance arc, at the manor library. Now reader and Jason were neutral with each other at first because Reader at that point had the mindset of "if they don't care about me, I don't care about them" and Jason just wanted the new books that Alfred told him about, but that didn't mean he didn't stop and stare. Now after feeding Jason some extra pork chops you had cooked, that's when the feelings started to show. Jason, to put it lightly, is a fucked up guy. Who wouldn't be after what he went through? And fucked up guys, do fucked up things. For example, he wouldn't leave you alone unless you cooked him something, and even if you still didn't cook for him, he would stare at you, no matter what you were doing. Jason's feelings for Rountine! reader aren't normal romantic, but I like to think that one of the main components in his feelings towards reader is how reader cooks. On the very rare occasion when Jason gets reader to cook for him, as he watches them cook, it kinda heals him? Does that make sense? Like he's just sitting there waiting to be fed, and it just feels normal and quiet.

Tim's obsession with the reader came from wanting to research reader and how she thinks. Basically like a lab rat. And you are right when you said she had more of an interaction with him. As both of them during their early teen years, grew up together in the manor. But it wouldn't be until maybe a year after he became Robin that he met Rountine!reader in the kitchen. As time passes on, the more private research Tim has done about the reader. Which is a very small folder of nearly nothing. Besides her full name, date of birth, a list of friends, and other small things, that was pretty much it. Every so often if he has the time, he tries to find something new about Routine! reader, which is nearly impossible she doesn't even have any social media accounts. Tim sees Rontine!reader as a perfect puzzle, and he want figure out how she ticks.

(hope ya like it 🤖)

#yandere batfamily x reader #routine!reader #yandere batfamily #yandere dc #anon ask #anon 🤖

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911lsbts · 3 days ago

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Where did the idea for this final emergency come from? And it’s teased at the top of the episode the asteroid won’t be the only part of the emergency in the finale, yes?

The high concept of this episode being the asteroid and the secondary crisis it causes for our characters — our cast and our crew, we’d all found ourselves in this sort of end-of-the-world feeling for us when our show was canceled, in all of our minds, too soon. I think that was infused in where we wanted to end this season, and put all of our characters and our audience through this feeling that the world was just ending too abruptly. And that’s the theme of these last two episodes, in all of the storylines, and also in terms of our actual emergency.

We were looking for an emergency that started with that theme. So then the two ways that the world could end too soon would be, 1) the asteroid, which we thought was the perfect metaphor of what we felt like, and then, 2) the thing that the asteroid causes in the finale, which I won’t fully spoil, if you couldn’t deduce it from the opening of this episode.

After this, do you think it’s going to be pretty hard for “9-1-1” to top this series finale when it comes time for that show to end on ABC one day?

It’s funny, because Tim and I work hand in hand. We both are executive producers on both shows, and so we’re always thinking we have to make each episode, whether it’s “Lone Star” or “9-1-1,” you look at each one and say, “What’s the best thing that we can do for this moment of each particular show?” And we never pull punches. One thing we often have to say is, “Wait, you can’t do that. We just did that on Episode 5″ of this show. You can’t do that kind of emergency or that viral video, because we already did it.” But we always want the best for both shows, the biggest for both shows, and I’m sure that we’ll figure something out for “9-1-1.”

In this episode, we find out TK and Carlos are not being approved to adopt Jonah strictly because of their high-risk jobs. Does that mean that one of them will quit their chosen careers so they can proceed with adopting him?

I once read that, “There is no meaning without sacrifice.” So to make the most meaningful decision of one of their lives, somebody is going to have to make a decision. This decision gets made before the apocalyptic event, in either case, as you’ll see in the finale. But I think you’re onto something.

At the end of the episode, it’s heavily implied Tommy has died due to the effects of her cancer, and she even sees her late husband Charles welcoming her into the afterlife before she appears to pass away. Can you confirm whether she’s dead going into the finale?

I’ve said when we did this whole journey with Tommy’s cancer and with Gina, the actor, as well is we really were going to have to go all the way. And a big part of it was also an opportunity in this episode for Tommy to have it come full circle. And to be to be frank, I took a lot of heat for ending the Trevor and Tommy relationship, but part of why we did it is because I knew this was where we wanted to take her character full circle with this love of her life. And not to get too personal, but when my mom, right before she passed, I was in her hospital room, and she was telling me about how her mom and dad had come to visit her that morning. And it was so vivid for her. She wasn’t saying it as if, “Oh, they’re ghosts.” She was just saying it as if it happened. And then she passed not long after, and it gave her such comfort. And I think that stuck with me.

And it was actually Tim Minear who said we should find a way to get Charles back in the show before it’s too late. And that was a deep anchor of inspiration that we really wanted to get to. And it seemed like this was the way that we could really show what that love of her life meant to her, and also this cancer battle was going to require the ultimate, I don’t want to say price — but that she’d have to go to the ends of herself. So that’s what I’ll say about it.

You get into two big character storylines in this penultimate episode: Mateo being deported and Paul mentoring a nonbinary teen who is endangering themselves in stunts to gain acceptance and popularity. Why did you decide to approach these two topics with so little time left in the show?

Like I was saying before, part of the theme of these last two episodes is that your world could end at any moment. And for Mateo, he’s just at the gardening shop with his girlfriend, and he thinks he’s having an existential moment when she reveals that she doesn’t want to get married, but then actually, no, the real existential threat is because of his tenuous DACA status, even an injustice could cost him everything. And what you’ll see in the finale, I think, is it’s going to lead Mateo to the ultimate place of growth in this series by doing it. So that was part of it, to tell that Mateo story at the end.

And then as far as the Paul story, funny enough, when there were about four episodes left of our show, Brian Smith, who plays Paul, came to me and said, “Look, in the pilot of this show, the way that Owen is able to convince Paul to stay in Austin, is he says, ‘Somewhere out there in Austin is a kid just like you looking who doesn’t feel accepted for who they are, and maybe one day they’ll see a firefighter like you and believe that they matter.'” And he said, “Wouldn’t it be cool if before the show wraps, we made good on that little promise?” And I thought that was a brilliant idea. So Brian is the reason why we did that story, because he brought that up from the pilot and that led to the Jax story.

Owen is just about to tell the 126 about his plans to leave and move back to New York to head up the city’s fire departments when the asteroid alert comes in. Should they all make it through this, is Owen going to proceed with his decision to leave Austin?

Well, first he has to live. I’ll say that. I think what we wanted to show in this episode is that you can make up whatever thing you want to make up in your own mind. “I’ve thought about it. I reflected on it. I’m going to do this,” and then real life has something to say about that. And how do you deal with it when your plans get scuttled, because fortune turns its back on you. So you’ll see him experience that. You know, if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. That’s what happens for Owen.

#911 lone star #911 lone star spoilers #article #5.11 #s5

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eldizzle69 · 9 hours ago

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“You were a wonderful experience, you were…you were everything..”

masterlist

including :: sho, Romeo, Haru, Haku, Jin, Lyca

Or…. In which, after your curse takes over you, the guys get asked about you(their lover)

—Shohei Haizono

•it purely depends on whose asking really

•if it’s some random person, he’s gonna be like when we first met him and get really defensive.

•but if it’s someone he knows pretty closely then he’ll just smile and say something vague.

•either way, thinking of you would be a fond time for him

•you were everything to him, so he’ll cherish your memory.

The tension was strong, it had been a Simple question, one with no malice. “Hey Sho, who was the honor student?” One of the new freshman ghouls had asked him. And despite it being a harmless question, it filled the room with a deep tension.

“What’s it matter to you?” His words were harsh, aggression evident in his tone. The question was most definitely NOT appreciated.

“W-well,” the ghoul sputtered, “I just— I’ve heard so much about them! All good things!” The freshmen seemed panicked, obviously scared by Sho’s aggressive response.

“Better be..” Sho muttered, turning and walking briskly away from his underclassmen. He didn’t answer the question he didn’t wanna talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about you.

Instead, he would keep your memories in his head, waiting for the day you could be together again

—Romeo Lucci

•immediate fit

•it becomes well known in Sinostra, and other houses, that your name is to not be mentioned near Romeo

•that is unless you want to feel the wrath of Romeo.

•god forbid someone say something bad about you. Bullets will be flying

•your memory just hurts so much he doesn’t know how to process his emotions, so he just gets pissed.

“Who pissed Fico off?,” the Sinostra student asked in a hushed whisper, only to be met his a harsh response. The other student sent him a glare, “Shhh, He’ll hear you! Do you wanna die and take me with you?”

“Sorry…. He just seemed angrier than usual,” was all the student could say as he rubbed the back of his neck. The other student only shook his head before giving a actual response, “some general admission students mention…. Them..”

Shock spread over the students face as he gaped at his coworker, “were they stupid?”

“Had to be, they even called them a gold digg—“

“What are you idiots talking about!” Came a booming voice as the door, Romeo’s door, was kicked open from the inside. The students cursed under their breath but said out a quick “nothing!”

Th irritation on Romeo’s face was evident in his glare, “if all your going to do it talk on the clock, get out of here!” He yelled, doing well to push down the bubbling emotions deep within him.

The turned back into his office with a click of the door. Suddenly, the room felt gloomier, felt lonelier. It had felt this way since you had left him, leaving nothing more than your memory and a strange looking anomaly in your place.

—Haku Kusanagi

•Probably someone who would be a little shocked when he’s asked about you by a randomly student

•I can see Haku giving a small really, nothing too detailed

•he might even ask the student to not ask again, or ask around about you. Kinda like he did when mc mentioned the clash in the Hotarubi episode

•he loves thinking about you, but he also knows your memory hurts him and many others so he doesn’t want people getting too comfortable with your name.

•he loved you more than anything, and it was clear to the other students by the looks in his eyes.

“That’s not the question I was expecting,” Haku did his best to laugh, the sound that came out was strained and semi uncomfortable. The other students seemed to stop and realize they shouldn’t have asked that

“Sorry Haku, i was just told if i wanted to know about who the ‘honor student’ was to ask you,” the student mumbled sheepishly.

Haku waved his hands dismissively, “it’s alright, but you probably shouldn’t go around asking about them,” he said with his usual expression. What was different was his eyes, they were soft and seemed almost far away in thought. Suddenly the student that asked was consumed with guilt, feeling as though they stepped on fragile glass.

“ Alright….i won’t,” came a mutter followed by a swift goodbye as they excused themselves.

Plopping down on the floor Haku couldn’t help but lean back with a groan, “even now, you’re still on everyone’s mind.”

—Haru Sagara

•hella shocked when someone asks about you

•he’s doing his best to pretend your curse taking over you doesn’t bother him, and he thinks he’s done a pretty good job

•maybe that made people a little too comfortable with your name around him

•I’m stuck between him giving a sweet, vague answer, and just changing the subject completely.

•either way, he can’t just keep working and pretending he’s okay forever.

Haru was a busy man, who else would take care of the park? He loved you, he really did, but if he started lacking now what would happen to Jabberwock? Sadly, he hasn’t got time to properly grieve.

So that’s how he found himself entertaining a group of Frostheim girls one evening. They had become regular patrons, ones that he was great full too.

“Hey Haru, I heard you were close with the former honor student,” one of them said. Quickly the other girl responded in his place, “ ahhh no way, if they were close wouldn’t he have taken time off to grieve.?”

He was quick to change the subject, offering them a look at his newest purchase. A new animal he had started taking care of. But their words stuck in his head and vaguely he wondered if maybe he wasn’t doing your memory justice.

Maybe Haru had let things build up, because his emotions took over him later that night as he looked at pictures of the two of you. Maybe a few days off would do him some good? He would,d have to talk to Towa…

—Jin Kamurai

•how tf did they even get close enough to ask him that?

•no matter who it is he’s going to be pissy about it

•either he’ll just silently glare at them or he’ll tell them to leave very roughly.

•of course the Frostheim students are going to gossip about you, but they better not do it near Jin

•he has a large amount of influence, so anything said about you won’t be taken lightly.

Frostheim students was know for their gossip. They spread everything by word of mouth, but there was one thing that everyone knew to keep their mouth shut about. And that was you.

No one remembers when it became an u spoken rule, but one family after another, anyone who mentioned you in a negative light seemed to meet ruin.

But this student really thought she was something. A few small conversations (business conversations Jin was forced to partake in) with Jin and suddenly she thought she was immune and could say whatever she wanted.

Busting into his room the girl sobbed loudly, a sound that gave him a headache. Jin couldn’t make any words out of her sob filled ramble. It seemed her words came to bite her back

“Get out,” he said coldly, not even bothering to get up from his couch. “B-but-“

“Go,” he barked and this time the girl flinched. Looked at Jin one last time she cried herself out the door, and Jin just laid there.

Looking back, he regretted treating you so coldly when you first came to his room, but it was too late for regrets. You weren’t here anymore, and he’d have to live with his actions.

—Lyca Colt

•I see him being kinda like Sho, it really just depends on who’s asking.

•he’s not close with a lot of people so you really only see his standoffish answer

•like he might growl at them and ask what’s it to them

•Lyca is the number one defender of you and he won’t let anyone use your name lightly

•you were a wonderful experience just as much as you were everything to him.

“The honor student?” Lyca said in a questioning manner, almost as if he hadn’t known what the new student was asking him. New students, and new friends, all things Lyca was unfamiliar with. But these were also things you had always wanted him to experience, you had told him as such. So these were things he tried to welcome with open arms.

So why did he feel so upset when he was asked about you? Why was he so upset when this new student asked who you had been? Lyca soon realized he was scared, scared of anyone saying bad things about you. That wasn’t something you deserved. That was something Lyca had done his best to protect you from, even when your not here.

“Right! I’ve heard so much about the honor student, but have no idea who they were!” And with these words all his fear and upset feelings went away. His grin became toothy as a smile spread across his face.

“There were my lover,” Lyca manger out with his grin spreading over his face ever more than it already had.

He used the words you had taught him, the world ‘lover’ now deeply engrained in his brain.

Okay so maybe I didn’t do that well with haru’s but I TRIED

#chanothy writes #tokyo debunker #frostheim #hotarubi #jabberwock #jin kamurai #sinostra #tokyo debunkers x reader #romeo lucci #romeo lucci x reader #haru sagara #haru sagara x reader #lyca colt x reader #obscuary

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the-bi-space-ace · 1 day ago

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for the Title tag game - please god tell me about Echo Dies I love me some good angst-

:) I’m excited to tell you about the angst

It’s going to be a chapter fic around 5-7 chapters opening with the batch returning from a mission. They’re beaten up, injured, disoriented, but one of them is missing.

Echo.

Echo is gone. They saw him die. Hunter is certain he heard his heart stop (whether that’s true or his own brain trying to rationalize it for him is another case entirely) but when they get back they have to tell Rex who was the one utilizing them for this mission. He seems… off about the news but it could just be that he has to be in ‘Captain’ mode and grief is not something he can handle right now.

Crosshair, however, notices something is off with him and afterwards when they have a moment alone Crosshair confronts him. They have a really stilted conversation but it all comes down to one thing:

They know Echo isn’t dead. They can both feel it, even if it’s not logical, even if the rest of the batch is 100% sure of what they saw.

This prompts them to create a plan, steal a ship and go on a completely unsanctioned mission to retrieve a trooper that may or may not be alive. I want to live in this moment where they are both so convinced he’s alive that they’d do anything to prove it and get him back but truthfully he could actually be dead and they’re just too grief stricken to make peace with that.

The batch follows them to try and find them before they get caught for stealing a ship and going back into enemy territory when their orders are to stay put. It’ll be a good mix of Crosshair and Rex, who are constantly fighting and at odds but are putting it aside for Echo, someone they both care so much about that they’d do this, and the batch who is having their own interpersonal conflicts, feelings about being left behind when they would have helped, and pressure to get those two back and under control before something happens to them.

I have a scene set up for Crosshair and Rex where they are kind of at each other’s throats. Tensions are high, they aren’t getting along. And they have a fight that mirrors the one they had when they rescued Echo the first time. Rex throws the things Crosshair said back then in his face and Crosshair says whatever he can to hit Rex where it hurts. They’re stuck together, though, so they have to work it out. For Echo’s sake if nothing else. I even have a few lines of that argument and fragile resolution planned:

Rex: What was it you said about him? That he’s just a reg?

Crosshair: You’re the one that left him for dead the first time! Do you really think you can make up for it by going back this time?

~~ and a very fragile truce ~~

Rex: Look, all that matters now is getting him back. If we have a problem no we don’t. Once he’s home we’ll deal with this issue between us but until then shut up. Got it?

They’re struggling throughout this whole thing but I promise by the end they’ll come to understand each other.

I love this fic and am very excited to start writing it. I’ve got another chapter fic to write before this one but I’m hoping to start posting it sometime in June :)

Thanks for asking!!!

WIP Title Ask

#the bad batch #tbb echo #tbb crosshair #captain rex #the bad batch fanfiction #space chatter #oh i am so excited for this one #is echo alive???? who knows! (I do I know)#it’s going to be so much fun and I can’t WAIT to chat more about it #this one will be a super fun fic

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teddywesworl · 3 hours ago

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different anon but re: sex scenes ask, i’m curious to see how you lay out things to outline for continuity of characterization, and what the drive and stakes are in a scene to avoid the sexual archetypes. would you mind sharing what that process looks like for you? really admire your technical breakdowns of writing (yes even and especially when they end up being ‘controversial’)

ok so. I had to take this ask to a word doc to get all my thoughts in order, so that’s your fair warning about how involved my answer is going to be.

First off, I gotta say I always think it’s funny and strange which “takes” of mine get people in a twist, because it’s very frequently the really basic foundational stuff that you would be taught in the first week or two of any introductory fiction writing class. One time, multiple people blocked me on twitter for saying that every paragraph should serve the whole and that readers will get bored if you go on tangents that have nothing to do with the core drive of the story. There was a qrt with the ‘no fun allowed’ robot. I was basically explaining what “kill your darlings” actually means, but even that was too much.

That said, I think the key to continuity of character in sex scenes is very simple: treat sex as any other action, and treat sex scenes like any other scene.

Naturally, that’s easier said than done, because it contains within itself a pair of mandates:

Get your character fundamentals down before attempting to apply them to sex, and

Deconstruct your own relationship with DHSM archetypes.

Yes, sorry, the almost three hour long Contrapoints Twilight video really is the best framework I’ve ever encountered for breaking down cultural norms concerning sex in fiction (and irl tbh), and I think it’s required viewing for anyone who really wants to deliberately subvert those norms.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Step one: character fundamentals.

In the simplest possible terms, good smut is character work. You’re taking blorbo and putting them in a situation. Often, this is a deeply vulnerable situation wrapped up in a lot of emotions. What kind of emotions are they feeling? Do they feel vulnerable? How do they respond to that vulnerability? Are the blorbos boning out of love? Affection? Frustration? Fear of loss? Is it a hatefuck? Multiple of the above? That’s layer one.

Next layer down: are both (or however many) parties here for the same reason, or are their motivations and experiences different? Everyone in a story has their own drives which may be in conflict with one another or, at the very least, play off of one another in interesting ways; the same principle should apply to sex scenes.

Example.

This is from chapter 2 of baseless fabric:

Rook’s fingers bury themselves in Lucanis’s hair, her nails scraping his scalp. “I’ll show you,” she says, and then—oh, yes—tongues and teeth and spit! Rook’s arms around Lucanis’s neck. Arching backs and sweet sighs and a pleasure that fogs Lucanis’s mind. Rook pulls at Lucanis, and Lucanis tries to keep his hips away. He is embarrassed at how quickly he has grown hard; he is alarmed that he could be so forward, so presumptuous as to expose himself in this way and to seek this kind of pleasure in her. Why? asks Spite. It is for her. She came to you for this. Lucanis struggles against this reasoning, though he knows that Spite is correct. That strange despair deep within grows fat on this knowledge. He is still afraid, and it was such long and difficult work to accept that he would never be desired in this way by a person he desired in turn.

Three parties are involved in this scene: Spite, Lucanis, and Rook.

Spite has no sexual attraction or sex drive per se, because he is a non-corporeal entity to whom those concepts are kind of alien, but he enjoys physical pleasure and has an emotional attachment to both Lucanis and Rook, so there’s no reason to believe he wouldn’t enjoy sex. He experiences everything Lucanis’s body does, and he has a front row seat to the inner workings of Lucanis’s fucked up little brain. In the video game as written, one could argue that Spite’s core drive is essentially to help Lucanis first survive and then recover from extraordinary trauma (out of. Spite. literally). He picks apart Lucanis’s fear and self-hatred and exposes all of it to Rook, in full confidence that Rook can fix it.

Lucanis, meanwhile, is a big ol’ demi virgin who (I was just talking w @ofcrowsanddragons about this last night) has come to view his own basic human needs as monstrous. It’s dangerous for him to need anything. Even sleep! He’s had both physical and emotional vulnerability drilled out of him from a very young age! He can’t let anyone know he needs! What if his needs are exploited? What if someone notices he needs something and takes advantage? For Lucanis, I imagine that allowing himself to be vulnerable in a safe, controlled way that feels good, with someone he trusts entirely, would be… woof. Very intense.

Rook is the wild card in terms of fanfic and character study, because, as a customizable PC, she could be anything. And she might be physically undescribed in my fics, but the character choices I’ve made aren’t by mistake; I’m writing about The Lucanis Romance, after all, and that provides opportunities for Rook to play both partner and foil. And so: my Rook is sexually experienced, shameless, and a bit vulgar, and she grew up poor. She’s Lucanis’s opposite in a lot of ways, and she serves to highlight his hangups by contrast. He talks down at himself for “seeking pleasure in her,” while her desire for him is uncomplicated. She wants this guy. She cares for him. It feels good when he touches her. On its own, maybe that’s not super interesting fodder for fiction, but she and Spite force Lucanis to reckon with his irrational self-talk and maladaptive coping mechanisms. She can get away with being a bit two-dimensional, because her main function in the story is to challenge his perspective.

The climax (lol) of the fic is arguably the following line in chapter 3: “The despair of fulfillment, the anguish of joy—he thinks he is not made for such things, and so he fights them, even desperate as he is to submit.” Everything in this first encounter between Lucanis and Rook builds toward that final evolution of the idea that Lucanis fears his own emotional needs and resists their fulfillment.

Et voila: Lucanis’s character is examined and has the opportunity to develop through sex!

Still, I admit, all of this is easier said than done. Character study of any kind takes practice to get a feel for, and writing effective character-driven sex requires that you be aware of your own relationship with culturally imposed norms.

Step two: becoming an archetype understander

Watch the Contrapoints video if you haven’t. Yes, in full. I promise it’s worth it. But if you want to save it for later and keep reading this post now, DHSM stands for Default Heterosexual Sado-Masochism, and it’s an extremely useful framework for understanding how patriarchal romantic and sexual roles are organized.

Natalie Wynn defines DHSM as “a division of sexuality into bipolar roles,” as follows:

She goes on: “In reality, none of these roles are interchangeable or even necessarily correlated. Being masculine does not imply being a top, and neither imply being dominant. […] But in DHSM, these roles are assumed to be bundled together and assumed to belong to the sexuality of men.”

I contend that when we are reading E-rated fanfiction and we cross that jarring threshold from in-character plot to out-of-character smut, we have most often just encountered the author deferring to cultural sex scene-writing norms prescribed by DHSM. And, importantly, the sex scene doesn’t have to be heterosexual for DHSM to be in the room!

One of the most important things you can do as you’re writing sex is to ensure that you are aware of the cultural pressure to conform to this false dichotomy. Notice I didn’t even say ‘don’t conform;’ there are certainly ways to examine & play with DHSM while nominally conforming to it. However, DHSM is omnipresent as a basic assumption in mainstream romance and romantic subplot, and you may be surprised at the extent to which the average person automatically reaches for it while writing. In fact, once you start seeing it, you may not be able to stop.

One of the things I really like about Lucanis as a character is his relationship to DHSM. He’s an assassin, arguably a professional predator. He is extremely rich, and he ends the story with a nation-shaping amount of political power. He is also, quite literally, possessed. His whole personal arc is about his fraught relationship with agency. His romance arc requires that you, the player, pursue him to a much more dramatic degree than any of the other companions, just to get to the point of acknowledged flirtation. He breaks the assumed role. He looks like the Latin Lover trope sprouted wings; but that’s not him.

This is, frankly, why a large proportion of the Rookanis ao3 tag bums me out: there’s so much fic in there that pulls back toward that assumption of bipolarity, flattening him as a result. Lucanis as an aggressive or dominant lover does nothing for me, because I feel that it misunderstands his approach to intimacy.

Now what?

I’ve just said an embarrassing number of words about writing pornography. But how does one synthesize all this stuff?

Here’s an exercise I recommend:

Pick a pairing of your choice and consider each character’s relationship with the DHSM dichotomy. Deliberately run down those columns above and decide which character more closely matches each descriptor in each pair, individually—if they match either, which they may not! Examine the ways in which that pairing might break bipolarity.

Then, try to come up with a sexual scenario that demonstrates that break in DHSM. This is a valuable exercise because it attacks both points simultaneously: it forces you to think of your character fundamentals, and it directly challenges the archetypes.

To use the same baseless fabric example, Rook is clearly the pursuer, but she’s got an exhibitionist streak, and she very much desires penetration:

She leans back, rests her weight on her hands, and deliberately opens the vee of her thighs. Her chemise drapes across them, and it hides very little. There is a shadow beneath, intensified by the flicker of the hearth, and Lucanis’s eye is drawn inexorably down—

Later in the same scene, Spite's POV refers to the act of penetrating Rook as surrender:

The body knows what to do. The instinct for it is ancient and innate, and the rhythm is made at the conjunction of Lucanis’s flesh and heart and mind. It is surrender, a hopeless exposure of underbelly and throat, and it feels good. Lucanis plants one hand on the table and rolls his hips.

Lucanis also acknowledges, multiple times, that he had his own preconceived notions about how sex is supposed to go, which Rook has challenged. For example:

Rook hums and smiles and closes the narrow gap between them. What begins as a simple press of lips develops into the luxuriant slide of tongues, Lucanis pushing the hem of her chemise up so he can bury his hand between her thighs. Rook hooks a knee over Lucanis’s hip and tugs him in until he acquiesces and thrusts into her. It is all slow and lazy. Soft. It feels the way Lucanis always thought it should, except in the ways he couldn’t have foreseen. His body aches from the violence of the previous day, and Rook’s must, as well; the pleasure cuts through the pain, colors it, transforms it into something almost sweet. Rook’s arms coil around him, and she makes the most beautiful little sounds.

(Uh oh, buddy! That's a little masochistic of you!)

If you are working deliberately to improve your character-driven sex scenes, I strongly recommend starting with short (up to like 3k words) ficlets as practice. Pick a trope or two to toss in for extra “put the blorbos in situations” sauce. Forced proximity! Drunken confessions! Hurt/comfort! Fuck or die! Etc. All great fun. Alternately, sometimes you will simply be possessed by the knowledge that certain characters will have certain kinks. Like Lucanis and somnophilia (you get it, right? I don’t even have to explain why. Isn’t that neat?).

As a side benefit, doing this exercise thoughtfully will make you better at character writing more generally. No, really. Spending this time analyzing characters’ relationships to intimacy will help you understand what makes them tick in so many other ways.

Let me sum up.

So, in summary: good smut is character work, and you need your character fundamentals first. However, cultural norms impose the division of sexuality into bipolar roles. Breaking that bipolarity subverts a subconscious expectation, adds tension and interest, and forces both writer and reader to really think about the characters in front of them.

Does that……. Does that answer your question about process?? I swear I didn’t start with the intent to write two thousand earth words about this. And also, I don’t typically sit down and think to myself “how will I break DHSM today?” I have enough practice at this point (and a deep enough obsession with the function of social power) that my disdain for DHSM automatically inserts itself into basically everything I write. I do think these two pieces (1. character first and 2. fuck DHSM) make up the foundation of how I approach smut, though, so hopefully this has been a useful response!!

#anon #2200+ words if you're keeping track #i'm realizing now while formatting the post after copying from word #that i literally didn't even touch on like. what makes smut hot #OH WELL that wasn't the point #character drama makes smut hot. to me #power exchange makes smut hot. to me

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