#actually that would be kinder
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boatemboys · 2 months ago
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every time someone brushes me off i feel like this
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lorillee · 2 months ago
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in honor of kakashis birthday i thought i might as well finally release my half finished mini concept of "inverse lost tower where baby kakashi comes to hang out with shippuden era team 7. Badly" because obviously baby kakashi seeing his older self have relationships and happiness that baby kks doesnt think he can or deserves to have pisses him off on such a fundamental level hes so filled with rage he barely knows what to do with himself. not to mention that adult kakashis general outward lackadaisical demeanor also makes him angry because how can they have gone through all the same things and yet he still doesnt take anything seriously etc etc u already know all this. regardless the issue more than anything else was that im not much of a writer so i could never get the words to feel right so it'll probably stay unfinished forever, but take these anyways
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starheirxero · 9 months ago
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After revisiting your "came back wrong" comic, absolutely wonderful btw, I came to a rather haunting realization.
Because it became true. But instead of Bloodmoon, it's Eclipse. And that's both much worse(for the characters), and much better(for the narrative).
Because both him and Lunar went through the same, and in a way seem to parallel each other, though that's probably me overthinking.
Both of them died. Both of them were blown to smithereens. Both of them came back after several months. Both found themselves in a body not their own. We've seen what they look like in every other universe.
Both of them came back wrong.
Lunar came back numb, quieter than before, with all their energy being a play. He came back running from unknown danger. They died a normal animatronic, and came back being more.
Eclipse is the opposite. He came back louder, erratic, full of madness. Where Lunar is running from unknown danger, he is sprinting towards it, not realizing the consequences until it's to late. Not to forget the star. Eclipse died being somewhat of a god, and came back as nothing more than a plaything, a puppet on a string.
In a twist of fate, they can relate best to each other now, and that might be the worst part for both of them.
Because what is there to do? Even though they understand, even though, one day, they might glance at each other and wonder "Do you feel the same?", they will never be able to confide in each other. Their relationship is beyond repair, and for good reason. Eclipse hurt Lunar, used and ab*sed him, and then blew him up.
This also opens up so much emotional baggage. What will Lunar think? Will he wonder "Do you regret what you did now, knowing how it felt?" Will a part of him feel the smallest bit of satisfaction? Will they ever be able to look at him at all, or will they forever hide away?
What about Eclipse? Will he feel guilty? He seems aware of the damage he has caused the celestial twins, even telling Ruin that he deserves what's coming for him, but he still showed no remorse when he talked to them.
I'm sorry this got so long, I am incredibly emotional about this right now, and I can't even begin to describe, how this makes me feel-
ANON OH MY GHOD /POS
DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST FUCJING BRAIN EVER. DID YOU KNOW YOU'VE CONNECTED THE MOST PERFECT DOTS KNOWN TO MAN. HOLY SHIT.
LUNAR CAME BACK AS MORE AND ECLIPSE CAME BACK AS LESS BUT BOTH CAME BACK WRONG AAIAUAUAYAGAGGGHHHHHH
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iamfuckingsorry · 2 months ago
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"Do you know where we are going next?" I asked ART.
Y'know what, I think maybe I don't need any more Murderbot books. I think maybe ending things here is fucking perfect and as much as I love Wells's writing I'm genuinely not sure it can get better for me.
Like, so much of the books are about MB learning how to be a person, about becoming okay with being a complete individual with everything it entails. The first thing it does once it's actually allowed to decide on its own is it runs away from it all (admittedly to go on a mission to confirm some things about its past, because it genuinely just wants to be *good*). It shoves all its emotions away as much as it's able to. Then shit happens, and it makes its first friends, makes decisions based on these friendships, goes through a lot of emotionally intense situations...
And we get to this point here. MB having zero doubts about going with ART says a lot about its relationship with ART, but it also says a lot about its relationship with its humans - it knows that wherever it goes, when it comes back, the humans will still be there. Its humans actively acknowledge its struggles with being a now-free SecUnit and MB is willing to entertain the discussions to an extent and share information about its deeply personal experiences. Hell, System Collapse ends with MB admitting it might be somewhat broken, but that's okay as long as it can keep doing its job, and agreeing to basically do counselling - this is the guy what would rewatch its favourite TV show again and again in order to avoid acknowledging it even had Emotions a couple books back.
Reading this, I know that MB will be okay. It has hopes and goals and genuinely believes in itself and it has an amazing support system that its willing to lean on for the first time in its life. I'm convinced it'll go on to do great things with ART. And that's really the only thing I need to know.
#Murderbot#murderbot diaries#system collapse#Herr's personal tag#Also like. System collapse dives deep into MB's feelings about its life as secunit prior to the events of all systems red#I find this conversation from when they were discussing what would happen if the BE folks got to the colonists first /very/ telling#MB going on about how life as a corporate slave is absolute fucking hell#ART drone saying that they can't just kill people because the alternative is worse than death#ART: would it have been kinder to kill you before you'd disabled your governor module?#MB with zero fucking hesitation: /yes/#(followed by my favourite ART line ever. “You know I am not kind.”)#Like. MB would not have always admitted that it had hated its life as a secunit this openly#Saying it was shit is one thing saying I would rather be dead than think of me or anyone else going through this again is a very different#And here it has zero issues stating that. At least when talking to ART#And then later on it goes on to offer its actual memories for a publicly screened documentary#Because it knows it's the only way to make people see. The only way to save then from the same (ish) fate#And it's willing to do whatever it takes to save these people it's never even met before from what it views as fate worse than death#Including opening up and acknowledging its past experiences and past/current feelings#And I'm just like. Man I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.#You go MB. Holy fuck I wish I could do what you've done. You might just be the person to defeat this evil capitalism my dude
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kjones-fandom · 3 months ago
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I do think that Neil and Aaron would eventually get along but imagine if maybe a decade or so after the king's men Neil and Aaron get into a fight. It doesn’t matter what about but Neil runs his mouth and Aaron decks him. It doesn’t hurt that much and he doesn’t actually want to hurt Neil he was just so angry. I think Andrew wouldn’t react that much in the moment. He would assess the damage and Neil’s fine but Aaron’s busted his knuckles. So he wraps Aaron’s hand for him and doesn’t say anything for the longest time. No one knows what he’s thinking but the rest of the foxes are there (think like a reunion) and everyone kind of moves on.
Later that night while Aaron is icing his hand Andrew enters the room. Neil and Aaron already would have made up by this point. They aren’t necessarily friends but they don’t dislike each other anymore. Andrew would be silent as he had been earlier and would stare at Aaron’s hand. Aaron opens his mouth to say something- maybe to apologize or maybe to defend himself. But Andrew gets there first, he doesn’t raise his voice or become violent. Instead, he makes eye contact with Aaron and says “ This isn’t college anymore. If you ever lay a hand on my husband again I will kill you.” His voice isn’t apathetic but it isn’t very emotional.
He doesn’t break eye contact and his voice is steady and Aaron knows he’s telling the truth. Aaron doesn’t look away even after hearing the threat. He just nods his head “ I know”. And he does know because the twins are not the same men they were in college. Andrew doesn’t threaten Katelyn or speak badly about her. The twins do grow up and I think Andrew would respect and even consider Katelyn his sister-in-law first and his brother's wife second. No, this isn’t Andrew and Aaron losing their relationship or having a falling out. They’ve grown and matured and Aaron would be more pissed if Andrew stayed silent the whole time. Because he knows he would have done the same if Andrew had laid a hand on Katelyn.
TLDR: Andrew and Aaron grow after college. They respect each other's partners. Hell, they even like the other significant other. Because Andrew and Aaron love each other and after years of therapy and peace they come to terms with the fact that Katelyn and Neil are both there to stay.
Edit: Also, I am not calling Neil weak or saying he needs protection. He can absolutely defend himself but he shouldn’t have to with family. I love Aaron and Neil’s friendship and the fight doesn’t affect their relationship.
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mymarifae · 6 months ago
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does anyone want to join me on the aventurine/argenti train. it's got all the perks of being as funny as any other argenti ship - especially given the random absurdity of their first meeting. what the hell was argenti doing in the depths of the nihility? who even knows anymore man. but like also i think it has the potential to be really sweet?
aventurine hasn't let anyone In since his sister died. he's long since forgotten how to Trust, and Love, and how to BE Loved. and this, combined with enormous amounts of survivor's guilt and trauma and being treated as an object, has really done a number on his self-esteem. he doesn't act like it (because he's learned that it's dangerous to be vulnerable; it's the one gamble he's not willing to take), but 2.1 gave us that glimpse into his inner dialogue and it is Bad in there
between his conversation with acheron, the note veritas left for him, and finding a sense of closure in the apparition of his younger self, he's on track to becoming better. we can see it in the way he pretty much immediately reaches out to the trailblazer to get some things off his chest once he gets his phone working again. and the way he's accepting what is basically a form of therapy from the doctors of chaos. but his self-hatred has been building up for years, and it's going to take a long time to unpack and unlearn all of that
so like, in comes argenti, right? he's a loud show-off, but he is SO earnest. he sees the beauty in everything and everyone. he's kind, and gentle, and so full of love. he also comes off as a bit... lonely to me? he's spent so much of his life chasing after idrila's shadow, and only catching a glimpse of them in his many near-death experiences (and isn't that something to think about...........). he's not like, secretly miserable or faking or anything - i think his exuberance is 1000% genuine. but humans are social creatures; everyone wants and requires at least some form of closeness and intimacy. to have a love to pursue in This realm... someone he can see and hold without needing to have one foot in an early grave . i think that would be good for him. that's all
anyway, it's clear that argenti was pretty enchanted by aventurine
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like yeah that's kind of just how he talks normally but !?@,%&#& that's a lot of awfully romantic things to say about one specific person out of the several you apparently rescued (??????? god i love this guy he makes no sense. literally why are you even here bud). it seems that aventurine's more subdued state left an impression on him too, and well wouldn't it be pretty in character for him to start popping in randomly... as he does, because he can apparently just go wherever the fuck he wants. to check on this sad yet oh so beautiful peacock.. to try to bring a true smile to his face... to show him how kind and beautiful the universe can be......
i think aventurine might have a hard time laughing off offers of comfort and company and the beginnings of a courtship if it comes from someone like argenti. this man couldn't be disingenuous if he tried. he doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve as much as he rips it out of his chest to show you. it'll be a learning curve regardless - aventurine is too used to needing to constantly prove his worth to keep anyone around and to keep them from hurting him
but do you see it. do you see the vision. do you see how Sweet this could be. aventurine is about to receive more roses than he'll know what to do with
#i spent enough time on this that i think i can...#honkai star rail#argenti#aventurine#aventi... argenturinenope i hate this one actually#avegenti. dude i don't know don't ask me i'm just the messenger#like can i just say that what most ratiorine shippers are trying to squeeze out of that would be better found Here.#i don't mind the ship as much as i used to. veritas is kinder than i gave him credit for. i can even enjoy it if done right#but like#? veritas may be kinder than i originally thought but he's not that kind.#he's harsh truths and tough love. he started to soften after aventurine's unexpected death sentence and he has the potential to soften more#but guys i don't think a ratiorine relationship that takes place so soon after the events of penacony or god forbid BEFORE-#is going to go that smoothly#veritas has his head pretty deep in his own ass. it's going to take him a bit to get that out#he's more likely to hurt aventurine and send him right back into his defensive shell than he is to actually help him along his recovery#and/or aventurine is likely to dismiss any of his attempts to be more forthcoming with his feelings because of his perceived dislike for hi#and just how their working relationship always was Before#if you want to talk about that and the messy struggle to be better for each other after they stomp all over the other's heart#i'm all ears man.#but if you want something that's softer from start to finish and not so stressful... listen to me. argenti and aventurine is where that's a#i think both options are appealing tbh? in their own ways
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cuubism · 1 year ago
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hello friends. despite my 9 million existing dreamling wips i'm feeling the need to branch out a bit for the sake of my mental variety. what pairing other than dreamling should i write a little something for? could be romantic or platonic
other way of phrasing i guess: any pairings you really want to see more fics for in the fandom?
#i actually do have one someone asked me for ages ago i've been meaning to get to so i'll try to do that too#bonus points if it still involves dream bc you know i love dream XD#probably wont do any romantic pairings /between/ the endless because well yeah#but open to exploring pretty much anything else... feel free to send whatever if you want. dont worry about if i'll like it#if i can't vibe with it or find it uncomfy i just won't write it no harm no foul#not me soliciting little prompts fully knowing that motivation is a fickle beast and who knows if i would get to writing them XD i want#to though! or like. idk. if anyone wants to share headcanons about their favorite pairings i am happy to receive them#the sandman#a couple that are bouncing around my head already:#rose meeting desire. this could be really interesting i think (they are of course her grandparent)#calliope and lucienne post-calliope's imprisonment: i think their dynamic could be interesting since they both have/had close relationships#with dream. but of course calliope's relationship with him fell apart. i think lucienne with whatever context of it she had would probably#be sympathetic to calliope's perspective but still staunchly On Dream's Side so the speak bc she is ultimately very loyal to him... could b#an interesting convo.#additionally - calliope and johanna. both suffered things recently. both had curious interactions with dream where they recently saw both#his vicious side AND a kinder more understanding side of him... [dream gave rachel a peaceful death at johanna's request etc]#but they've come out of their suffering really differently (granted it was different types of suffering. but)#wow here i am asking for people's ideas and then just coming up with my own XD#anyway#wait two others: i'm fascinated by the potential dynamic of lucienne and the corinthian they only had like one short scene together in the#show but can you imagine. spending eons being loyal to dream and then going opposite directions with that loyalty. being among dream's inne#circle so to speak except lucienne is her own entity while corinthian was /created/ by dream. they have the most fascinating venn diagram o#personality traits and narrative positions...#secondly. and this is kind of crack. but like. imagine johanna and corinthian in the same room XD 'hi i'm an exorcist and this is my pet#serial killer' 'yeah my lord gave me a vacation to go kill some demons' why doesn't he try to kill johanna? bc she tried to destroy him#first time they met and he can't help but respect it XD
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kushamisaru · 20 days ago
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Hey who wants to be even sadder about Mizi and Till
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winepresswrath · 6 months ago
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i am absolutely a nicki girl by the way it's just that much like show!lestat my love for him is so pure he doesn't even have to be hot. he can be an ugly crier with a floppy lil wig it only inspires tenderness.
#i'm kind of worried the show will feel the need to minimize him so louis-lestat can shine. it does not! he's the blueprint for all the sad#bitches who came after but it's very clear louis is the one who drove lestat fully out of his mind forever#don't actually love the show's take on romance and monogamy. i feel like it's in conversation with#twilight vampire mormonism and also modern fuck boy culture#the original has nothing to do with either of those things and i think has a very specific take on romantic love and fidelity#that exists on the border of what is love to the dead. like when you strip away the social constructs of the living and reinvent love for#yourself outside of those boundaries what does it look like#and my specialist blorbo is the little black dress of my world and i ship him with everyone#like i'm a lestat was cheating on louis with antoine truther but the special sauce was that he wasn't actually going outside the boundaries#of his relationship with louis he was playing games and daring him to admit he cared enough to be mad about it#like it's the oblique bitchiness of louis being like oh i wish he'd just hurry it up and eat him#that would be kinder#the way antoine does very much offer something to lestat that louis doesn't#and not just like. a dumping ground for his frustrations at home#music! affection! they were FRIENDS#was lestat thinking about eating him the whole time probably but that's not the point#press says iwtv#interview with the vampire#nicolas de lenfent
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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Hello! I have come asking for you to info-dump about the the modern human au. I full of brain rot of them (especially after the last thing you posted about them, damn) Maybe you can tell us a bit more Sally!!
lucky for you, i've been full of that good ol brainrot As Well! thoughts! feelings! ideas! i got em!
so since we're already on the subject of the Crash Arc, allow me to expand on it for a moment before i get to Sally Thinkings! if you've read the snippet, you may have noticed the extent of Wally's injuries was not listed yet. well! he got messed up with a capital F! since it's fiction and i'm god in this scenario, i'm veering slightly away from realistic damage, immediate & lasting. bc lets be real. if i stuck to "this is as realistic as i can make it", then Wally would be aaaaaabsolutely fucked. it was a bad crash in a very unsafe vehicle at high speeds. like - this is what happened. a drunk driver hit Home going 70 down the freeway. swerve, fishtail, tumble down a (small, shallow, really its more like a glorified ditch) ravine with trees and rocks and shit on it. absolute miracle that Wally didn't die in the crash, let alone during the solid half hour (slightly longer) he was trapped in Home before someone noticed the crash site and called emergency personnel. Wally "hanging up" on Barnaby was actually the impact jarring him so he slipped and hit the end call button. but yeah without going into technicalities and detail, Wally has some lasting damage in his dominant hand. It takes extensive physical therapy for him to be able to paint/draw again at the same level he had been at. the hematoma hadn't done a lot of brain damage that wouldn't resolve itself with time. in my mind, when Wally wakes up in the hospital, for a few days he's very confused and his memory is shot. he'll wake up, interact, then go to sleep, but when he wakes up again its like waking up for the first time again. he just can't retain memories for a bit. he's got some severe brain fog. his mood is also kinda fucked with - he's uncharacteristically irritable with low patience, etc. these are all things that clear up with time, but in my mind Wally has chronic migraines going forward. bad ones! and there are days where it's harder fr him to concentrate. and yk. a teeny bit of chronic pain where his shin bone was pinned back together and where his hand was essentially crushed. but other than that he's fine going forward! good days and bad days!
but enough about that! You Want To Hear About Sally!
i imagine that she becomes quite successful in the theater industry. i'm not too familiar with it myself, so i'm gonna be uh. Vague about it? but she starts her own theater troupe - it's a bit of a commute from home base to the town she works in, where the theater is located in, but she makes it work! of the group, she's probably away more than any of them. working on shows, traveling to work on other ones - i like to think she's been on Broadway! she probably has had opportunities to do tv/movie acting, but idk... i feel like Sally would be like "nah. live shows or nothing". maybe at some point she takes up voice acting gigs, as long as she can do them from home. she probably has her own little room-turned-VA-studio thing. idk how that works either! it seems right! but yes Howdy's store's automated messages and advertisements are in Sally's voice. she's probably picked up a temporarily modeling gig here and there.
so Sally is very very busy. Poppy is supportive. everyone is, and they all love to help out when they can - and reel Sally in when the "stardom" starts to get to her head. they do their best to acclimate to occasionally getting jumpscared by her voice in a grocery store or in. idk. fashion shoots. victoria's secret billboards. that last one was a joke! maybe. i think she would.
i also like to imagine Sally like... getting some sort of award and then spending a solid five minutes naming her friends, thanking them with specificity, and then plugging their own stuff. they probably have a rotation for who accompanies her as her plus one for events and parties she may or may not be invited to. she's not like... a Big celebrity but! she's Known and Liked! she has Connections! i like to imagine her and Wally looking dapper as fuck at a Venue...
so the friend group typically stays together, with Sally going off to do her Things the most. she makes sure to schedule time to be with her friends and girlfriend/wife/Poppy between work and gigs and etc. she somehow finds a balance with Ease. or apparent ease... someone get this girl a vacation...
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eisthenameofme · 5 months ago
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love when it gets to the point of The Discourse where i feel the need to key word search otherwise chill people's blogs for rampant bigotry before following them. Like this isn't exactly what happened with 'ace discourse'
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bugeyedfreaks · 1 year ago
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spaceratprodigy · 9 months ago
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🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉
Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤
I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕
Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links
#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main#so much has happened in these past 10 years#I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future#but I did and I do#I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible#I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return#I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself#I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better#I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like#I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of#I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over#I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder#I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive#and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person#I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore#I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly#he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do#god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me#you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you#it's always been you#I fucking love you#more than anything in this universe and the next#forever and always#my art#glad I listened to my first tag lmao
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bibuckaroo · 3 months ago
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you’re eren jeager. you’re eight years old and trapped inside walls your entire life and hate every second of it and then your best (and only) friend shows you there’s a possibility of more, of the outside world, of freedom. you're nine years old and you just killed someone for the first time because what they were doing was wrong and as much you like to pretend it didn't affect you because they were just filthy animals, you still get nightmares about it. you're ten years old and you dream of joining the scouting legion so you can finally see the outside world because they represent freedom for you due to their symbol, but oh the titans just broke down the walls and your mom got eaten right in front of you and suddenly it's much bigger than that, it's not just a dream, it's a goal, so you can get rid of every last one of them. you’re twelve years old and people keep on telling you, you’re not gonna make it, you won’t last in the military and you’ll never achieve your goal, and you prove them wrong, every. single. time. you’re fifteen years old and you finally made it, but you wake up and there are a thousand guns pointed at you and the two people you love most in the world are standing between you and danger (as always, and you hate yourself and you feel so guilty and you feel so useless) and they’re asking you if you’re human or a titan and that makes absolutely no sense, because of course you’re human but that does not matter. you get hated on, you are experimented on, you get tortured and through all of this, you push forward because you believe you’re making a difference and you’re helping humanity survive and if you’re suffering through all of this? it’s okay, because you deserve it, i mean, look at how many people die so you can live, look how many times your friends get put into dangerous situations, look at how mikasa and armin’s lives keep on getting shittier because they continue to care about you and through all of this, people treat you as humanity’s hope or as a weapon, but never as a person, because that’s not what you are for them and they keep on saying that if you want to save anybody and make a difference, you have to learn how to control your powers and how to make sacrifices, to let go of your humanity in order to do it. you’re sixteen years old and you know everything you’re going to do, and you want to tell it to the people you trust but you don’t want to burden them with that knowledge because they already have enough on their plate as it is. you’re eighteen years old and you tried to change the outcome from the things you’ve seen multiple times, but every single time you fail because every decision has already been made for you and you’re helpless to do anything but watch, you try to find a different solution, however everything you think of, brings about the doom for your people. you’re nineteen years old and you abandoned everything you cared about in order to reach your goal, everybody hates you, but not as much as you hate yourself, but it’s okay because at least (most of) the people you love will be safe and you will die by the hands of the woman you love, it’s more than you deserve because now you truly are the devil they’ve always accused you of being. and in the end the boy who longed for freedom, was the most entrapped of them all.
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dnangelic · 2 months ago
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daisuke’s desire to be independent and confident and reliable like dark versus dark’s desire for compassion and vulnerability and intimacy like daisuke. it’s never one or the other it’s always both of them at once wanting to be like their inversions and yet thereby producing the exact same singular individual at their core. a devil with a cherub heart and a cherub with a devil’s, both of them in the longing dark!!
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qismet · 3 months ago
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it’ll be so lonely without you, fushiguro
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