#actually kinda sad now that I think abt it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

youngyoo-apologist · 8 months ago

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I’m never letting go of the Lock and Basen friends HC I don’t care that they’ve never interacted in canon I think they would be best friends

#you guys need to see the vision #from the modern au fun facts we learn that Lock gets good grades(which means he probably studies)#what does Basen do? STUDY #And you know what friends do ? (or at least me an my friends)#STUDY #second I feel like they would get along #Basen is a calm kind and upfront person #while Lock is a bit more shy but he’s nice and ambitious #I think they both should have more friends because does Basen have any friends #like we have the north eastern nobles but I feel like the kid doesn’t go out much(noble duties and all)#does he have REAL friends?? or just like acquaintances #actually kinda sad now that I think abt it #some nobles probably wouldn’t wanna befriend him because he’s a commoner and some nobles are assholes #tcf

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beatcroc · 2 years ago

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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y

hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]

#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #fake peppino #gustavo and brick #arting #pizzaposting #so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that #and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it #not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine #he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to #who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower #making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino #i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now #nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact #he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that #and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine #is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf #gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo #pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here #''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''

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radioroxx · 4 months ago

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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight

#radio rambles #i should go to bed but. it is on the mind #isat spoilers #<- for the . wall of tags to come #imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be #i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat #and probably the intention #but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that ‘do u hc this character as a system’ post abt siffrin #and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF #it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young #splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdp’s whole thing #a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone #many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family #mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to #a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared #its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it #uhm. ok well #so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery #now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and #wow christ im upset #also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics here….. sillies…..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body #the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair #think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace #SPEAKING OF LOOP #i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well #and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf #im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT #thinking. always thinking

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fawnoir · 1 month ago

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When I tried going on T, I was deliriously horny for the first maybe 3-4 weeks. Then my body realized it hated testosterone and I stubbornly stayed on it until 9 weeks, which left me with pain (and the resulting health anxiety bc of said pain) and no sex drive for about 3 months after that until my hormones balanced out again. Now that estrogen is back in control, I’m ….deliriously horny again. If I can compare the two, testosterone horny is short incredibly intense bursts but my natural state of horniness lasts for days and completely takes over my mind. I am consumed….

#I think about sex all the time now #unsure if this is just a 3 month backlog or what #I just had to try T bc I would have been like ‘what if’ for the rest of my life but I’ve mostly made peace with it not being meant to be #it deepened my voice ever so slightly and made my stache a bit darker but that’s it #lowkey kinda glad I couldn’t stay on it bc the thought of being alienated from my Community is kind of. …sad?#bc even tho idk abt gender shit I’m so secure and obsessed with being a lesbian and knowing other lesbians recognize me as one of them #it’s one of this body’s default settings I’m actually so deeply happy about #even tho dealing with Dysphoria Days also SUCKS but I’m managing somehow #it helps that the ppl in my life know abt my gender issues nd do not get annoyed when I occaisiobally need to yap about how shitty it is #noa.txt

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bunnyboy-juice · 3 months ago

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im ngl i think my favorite headspace to be in is "want to be annoying"

#i am also really low energy today so i cant really do my normal expressions of it #(spam messaging Everyone i want to talk to at any given moments notice; sending random pictures/asks/etc to ppl)#but i also like. love being annoying. idc how others feel about it. there's something so wonderful to me about being such a nuisance to ppl #u like that they roll their eyes when you post your random thoughts AGAIN #there's something so lovely about pushing peoples buttons (within reason)#there's something just so fun about being ANNOYING!!!!!#ugh #i think it may genuinely be impossible for anyone to make me hate myself with mean words now #i think about it a lot and ppl can be really mean and it'd make me sad ofc if people were mean to me #butalso like #every person who is mean to me for silly reasons or bc they wanna take me in bad faith; every hateful thing thats been said to me - its all #jokes. my screen name on discord in a couple different servers is nicknames over stuff thats ACTUALLY been said to me #i think weirdly fondly of the man who yelled out to me on my birthday last year “fat bitch” fromhis car not bc he's a good man (fuck him)#but bc yeah that hurt my feelings alittlein the moment - and then after i was like wait why? i AM a fat bitch! its one of my favorite thing #and every time soemone hates something abt me i just kinda learn to love it out of spite #anyway all of this is 2 sy: mutuals if u read this im holdin my finger 2cm frm your cheek going “IM NOT TOUCHING U” & giggling abt it c:

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mars-ipan · 4 months ago

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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…

#marzi speaks #marzivents #<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this #i’m so TIRED of themmmm #i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS #i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face #i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut #but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad #my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there #my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic #like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over #it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity #oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too #like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face #now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter #like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it #i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it #and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about #but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention #y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation #the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid #bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented #even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch #i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years #there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH

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selfinflictedgunshotwound · 5 months ago

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i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

#i'm usually a sebastian kinda guy but i do think it's silly you have to say you like scifi to gain friendship points w him like cmon man #i will say though that. my bestie's baby daddy being named shane kinda does make it hard to like him 😭 unfortunate but not his fault #ik a lot of ppl are weird abt his recovery and his messy ass room bc they play stardew to make things look pretty or whatever #but i'm actually kind of glad he's a realistic depiction of addiction... the problem is his dependence on indulging in alcohol when he's #depressed not the fact that he drinks period... i think that a lot of ppl are unrealistic abt alcoholism (including me abt my dad's)#but concernedape did really good w him imo. anyways all this to say that i'm really glad shane never expects someone to be a certain way #i know most of the candidates are like. archetypes or whatever and i think that's fine they are very sweet and cute regardless but #i think maybe i didnt romance him before bc i related to him so badly that it hurt seeing myself reflected LMAO dead end life and being #suicidal about it like. i've never had a drug dependence but i'm not really in a position where i can ever make my own decisions anyways #but regardless. there is smth to someone who slowly warms up to you when they can't ignore your kindness any longer and have no reason to #act like an abused dog anymore which. does make me sad just to say but that is how he acts beforehand #idkkkkk idk i think people are always too caught up with his addiction and his messy room to actually see him without realizing that #getting better is a lot harder than it appears and that having a dirty room doesn't mean you aren't trying to be better. sigh #besides it's not like. the end of the world that he has a beer sometimes. have you tried going thru life completely sober? it sucks #ok im done LMAO but yeah i've found myself gravitating towards him this time around when i've romanced sebastian literally every playthru #til now. hmm!#ACTUALLY ONE MORE THING. i like how he's basically a twist on the classic useless husband trope in media where they love sports and drinking #but he's not a bad person and the only reason he's mean to you at first is because he hates himself and his own life and he makes an effort #the more you get close to him instead of the opposite. i like that a lot. ok now i'm done

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sketchyorsomething · 1 year ago

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Is it just me or is the reason little girls want to do horseback riding the wish to go on a ride at sunset through the woods and at the sea with no one else around you but your horse?

Basically the wish to be independent with no one telling you what to do and to be free?

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kuiinncedes · 1 month ago

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i watched wickeddddddd

#all i can think abt rn tho #is that i didn’t have time to eat beforehand so i ate dinner at like 10:30 or 11 or smth #and my stomach rly hurts now lolol 🫠#like this always happens when i eat too late like after kinda skipping the usual meal time #maybe ate too fast maybe ate too spicy lol #ANYWAY WlCKEDWAS GOOD #there were a bunch of kids in front of us who started singing along to popular lol 😭#and the last note of defying g/ravity 💀💀#i was like trying not to be annoyed bc like i understand i’m not even a huge previous fan or anything and i wanted to sing along to popular #but it was kinda funny bc my hand just involuntarily shot out in like a ‘woah chill shush’ gesture lmao 😭#also i am like slightly familiar w the musical and have listened to the soundtrack a couple times #but never enough to look into the lyrics and the story #so it was cool to finally get the whole context behind the songs i’m somewhat familiar with #esp like defyi g gravity which i actually know all the lyrics for lmao but just never what they actually meant in the story LOL #i’m familiar enough w the music that as soon as for good even looks like it’s starting in the next part #i’m just gonna burst into tears going to drown in tears #it was rly good i cried twice 😭😭😭#also LOL i have only ever seen jo/nathan b/ailey in h/eartstopper his little guest role #and ngl having only seen that i was like #i mean yeah he’s conventionally attractive but why r ppl so obsessed w him #but now i kinda get it LOL #kinda sad bc i saw it w friends and i won’t be able to see the next part w them probably 🥹🥹#idk ig never say never bc i don actually know what my job and time off looks like #i probably could like i probably have access to that info but idk it LOL #but yeah 😔 at least we saw this part and it was fun yay #anyway 💀 some random thoughts for ya for tn LOL #jeanne talks

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lixbf · 1 year ago

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i was so productive in bg3 today fjsvcjdhd

#did the house of hope (aka fucked an incubus and killed a devil)#did the steel watch foundry (accidentally had a few gondians die but then still said fuck you to wulbren)#did the whole ansur thing (holyyyyy fuck why are there so many revelations abt this one characters identity like)#And killed gortash (karlach my bby..... 😭)#and after all this w karlach constantly in party her approval of me is at. 51 now. wtf girl. ily and this is how you treat me fjdvckdvcjdh #this also made me think of more like. wrong/bad endings for the companions #duke wyll. god gale. sharran shadowheart. ascended astarion. dead karlach??? i guess?? lae'zel??? idk whats like the bad ending for her #anyways i am rapidly approaching the end of my very first bg3 playthrough and it makes me kinda sad #but then again i keep adding more ideas to playthroughs i wanna do....#like i wanna do everyones origin. i wanna do redeemed durge and evil durge. i wanna do regular evil.#i wanna make shadowheart and lae'zel have the enemies to lovers story they deserve #i wanna try to actually save every tiefling (rip rolan and also arabella i think bc i forgot abt her existence after the grove was done)#i wanna become half illithid and do a bunch of absolute stuff #i wanna maybe yknow uh save barcus in grymforge and not encourage nere to kinda maybe kill him and the other gnomes #i wanna play as ascended astarion but also as unascended astarion #judging by how im like 140hrs into this playthrough. all of this is gonna take me the rest of the year gjxbckdbdj

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astrxealis · 9 months ago

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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO #it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think #bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular #endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me #and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL #it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late #bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play #(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have #sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things #but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black #ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine #but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow #like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities #and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and #idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs #both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me #and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah #anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab #yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow #kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too #so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda #lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway

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swaggy-transfag · 10 months ago

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Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up

#it can be so so tiring to try to squish my thoughts into words sometimes #it just doesnt feel natural and it never represents them good enough #everyday i wish for somekind of mindreading so others could just get what i was thinking #but instead i have to struggle everyday to not even do my thoughts justice #its so frustrating to just sit and try to get something out #often my mind just blanks and i cant grasp any words #its so humiliating bc ppl just assume im kinda dumb or stmh and i cant even prove them wrong cuz i cant translate my thoughts properly #i wanna tell ppl abt my struggles so they can understand #and also so they dont make fun of me anymore for it #but then i have to get the courage and also be able to explain it properly #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #its so weird i can usually get my point across (like rn) but it doesnt really feel like my words #talking for me mostly feels like clipping out a newspaper and then assemble all the usefull words k could find into what i want #i really really wanna try to unmask more #and just own the fact that im actually disabled #okay now im just rambling i think #point is im frustrated and sad that mindreading isnt possible

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skhardwarevers1 · 1 year ago

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I think my main issue is I wanna be in love but I’m too scared of getting into a relationship that hurts me again

#Vent #ish. Kinda #Idk I’ve been thinking about it alot #I’ve been like….just completely void of any sort of feeling of “love” that I had with one person #And I know I love her. I do. I really do. But I don’t want to end up in the same situation with my last relationship #Or accidentally put them in that situation #So I’m kinda just stuck doubting my own feelinfs #But that’s okay cuz I probably should focus more on breaking my habits (aka focus on yourself bitch!! Don’t date anyone for the love of god #I keep forgetting I can post and like nobody fucking cares. Like I won’t get spammed with messages the second I’m active somewhere #It’s a lot to get used to I feel like it shouldn’t??? Maybe??? Idk maybe it’s the eight months I spent being used to it #Plus now I can actually have friends??? And interests that I can talk about??? Without anyone being petty and jealous ????#Like my brain can’t fathom that. I’m getting used to going out with people more. It’s weird #Idk. I don’t talk out my issues enough so I kinda just wanted to get my feelings out.#I’m not like in a sad mood or anything. It’s just late and I’m thinking a lot.#So I’m good Dw just thinking abt myself like I’m not myself so I can figure out what’s wrong (with myself)

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dimiclaudeblaigan · 2 years ago

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the best part about super mario rpg on the switch is that i can play it in bed or on long car trips

geno and i will never be apart again

#DCB Comments #what did you think that last post abt it was the last i would say abt it. haha you're a silly goose :)#i can play fe7 in the meantime while i wait but it's gonna be the longest wait in my life lbr #I KNOW I KNOW I'M A FIRE EMBLEM BLOG BUT. LIKE. IT'S SUPER MARIO RPG I HAVE RIGHTS #I am also curious how long they took to make this bc for example the ToS port was trash lol #but this game looks like they actually took their time with it and cared abt it #ig they only rly do genuinely amazing work on the games they expect to sell well and shrug their shoulders at other stuff #kinda sad for the ports of other games but this remaster looks like actually gave a shit abt the final product #AND YEAH I'M STILL AN FE BLOG BUT UH... EXPECT A LOT OF SMRPG POSTING AT THE END OF THE YEAR #i don't think you understand my buddies that was my fave game as a wee little t'ing #and in recent years i have listened to the soundtrack regularly. i do not mean once in a while #i mean REGULARLY. i have spent years BEGGING for them to at least put on the online services #not to say i can't just play it WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT BC I LITERALLY OWN IT AND AN SNES LOL #but it's VERY SPECIAL to have it on the switch as well. also now the modern gaming world is going to be #relentlessly subjected to geno content and crazed fans like me and i think that's just wonderful :)))#anyway SO YEAH EXPECT A LOT OF SMRPG POSTS WHEN THE PROMISED HOUR ARRIVES #I don't currently plan to go full multi fandom but I've considered sprinkling my other interests #with FE still being the main focus of this blog bc at this point it's still my main thing with an active fandom #ALSO DID YOU KNOW in fact no you didn't bc i didn't ever talk abt on this blog but #i was considering cosplaying geno to the very last con i went to in 2019 (haven't attended one since)#if it turns out i end up going to my usual con next year maybe i'll try again! i have mikey planned but i can add another outfit!!!#did u also know that growing up i had zero idea that geno was so popular like i didn't know until the internet was cool and all #and then i found out that everyone else loved him too and i was very surprised to see how popular he was #but also was like yes rightfully so

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unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years ago

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now my logical followup is rewatching rogue one for the first time since seeing it (multiple times) in theaters i believe? Will i cry a lot, which i am always prone to do w/media & things but all the more so lately, it seems

#and having a whole [at least one season's arc of prequel for Best Character] will surely just make it a more regular experience #also was thinking hm i'd like to rewatch especially those episodes of the Visible [lgbtq TV history] eps that akd narrated then was ft in..#eps three and five respectively i believe (the one in between like Eh) but both did already make me cry lol. how'll that go now #not like a difference in reaction like ''wow that's sad / moving'' i'm just more proximate to reacting to that in turn by tearing up fr lol #always something when like. the very specific Stressed Abt Life i actually cry over directly is just like #being stressed Enough but then also having to try to Talk. only lately do i realize that being autistic may have always been relevant thus.#& i don't think it's like A Bad Thing either b/c crying is bad (hooray for crying) or i think it's bad it comes all the more readily to me.#even if it's still like [augh. media] or [i'm burnt out / overwhelmed / bit of a meltdown feature as it were] Particulars for me lol #think the last ''i'm crying b/c i'm just like sad kinda encompassingly'' instance was like. once in 2017? & god knows when prior to that.#anyways i've had nothing going on on paper that'd be ''impressive'' but i've done nothing but Become More Powerful in past years.#and in a good way lol. all the less of any hurdles or whatall in going ''oh that's sad :'('' abt what i would already find sad. & i'm yknow #elevated & vivacious with it oft lol. like my other [crying scenario] is a lil burst of teariness b/c i got riled in a Good excited way lol #my power strength confidence stats are up so like hell yeah i'm weeping over media where i'm sad all the more easily lol #plus me and everyone else eh #unless you don't really. in which case hell yeah to that too #rogue one

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rowanhoney · 2 years ago

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insisting on a celibacy phase was maybe a bit much but honestly it fixed me

#I’ve basically spent most of my time since puberty either with a crush or heartbroken #and as an adult that means I’m usually trying to distract myself from being sad over whoever #by dating and hooking up with other people #because that’s what everyone always said was what worked #but it doesn’t and it got me into some messy situations #whereas now sure I’m not totally healed from my last heartbreak #but I think this particular one might live w me forever #so I’m learning to live with it?#and I now don’t rly have any active crushes #not including my customer cos. yeh just doesn’t count #so I’m not crushing I’m not completely heartbroken for the first time in my life #and I have no desire to date #and I’ve been saying hey if someone I was interested in asked me out I wouldn’t say no #and someone did. and he turned out to be too😬 before our date #v not good vibes can’t explain #and I’m not sad abt it #we kinda just stopped talking and I’m relieved #look im lonely in a lot of ways but that’s p much just. I wanna hang w my friends I miss my friends #and I should say big love to my fwb who’s lovely. and an actual great friend #and satisfies the physical side so I don’t have to date just to get some

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