#its so weird i can usually get my point across (like rn) but it doesnt really feel like my words

[swaggy-transfag]

Thought of making a post abt my struggles with communicating and getting my thoughts out in words. But then i was struggling too much abt how to word it so it made sense, so i gave up

[zanguntsu]

fuck it senkaimon strategies

characters

obviously u want to get as many bonuses as possible and if u dont have that specific character (machine society toshiro -_-) then its fine it just makes the room harder. like ive completed floor 50 of the first tower of forging with lacerate shunsui and he didnt have all those bonuses but the lacerate was the game saver. u would just need to try harder and focus on gameplay. never use good characters on the locked rooms that is a given. throw old and frenzy characters at those floors and i tend to start switching to actual characters by the 25 floor mark/when the characters start getting a little newer. also! characters can be better at certain things such as having a lot of status effects, heal, or soul traits such as last ditch survival. melee characters clear rooms faster and ranged characters have more survivability. status effects are boss killers and clear rooms. weaken is great against bosses. the whole schbang. last ditch can be useful on low stamina floors, characters with sprinter (2+ and long stride) traits are gods imo in dodging

like if u see something like this and go ‘well i dont have a speed character with a hollow affiliation who also has the main killer. u would just skip the hollow aff and prioritize the killer.

builds

min maxing is the name of the game and my favorite type of build is glass cannon. do stamina stats thats weak shit go all in for attack or sp for the accessories. hollow bait, those sp orbs, all of it and make sure theyre maxed out. if u dont know which characters get which type of accessories always look at the characters highest stat and max it out. for example while nanao is a hybrid character, her attack is bigger (bc i didnt max out her soul tree lmaooo) so i focused in on the attack stat

for links its a lot more variety but think about how useful it would be. nad characters ofc benefit from nad increase links. sad charactefs should consider sad increase links but also cooldown reduction for floors such as boss gauntlets or rooms that ban normal attacks. for melee characters, u could consider dr and last ditch survival links because ur gonna be taking damage and u need to be built like a truck. as a ranged character, full stamina links (low stamina at certain floors) is a pretty good idea if u want to increase ur damage output however dr doesnt hurt if u have it with nad or something. characters with hes and shields also benefit the most out of cdr links

for the same nanao build here are the links

the first bitch adds 25+ nad, tatsuki gives 20+ nad and last ditch, and old man gives 20+ nad (bc i also didnt level him) and -12 dr. while she is ranged and probably doesnt need it the dr and last ditch as much, i also accounted for her being a really old character so she’s slower and also will be more likely to take a hit

gameplay

this is where it gets spicy the basics are divide ur time to 1 min per room. if ur at 1:30 and just finishing room 1 its a lost cause tbh and u gotta be rlly lucky for u to pull it off and u need to look at ur build again and see what went wrong, maybe it was just unlucky rng or maybe it was ur damage output wasnt as great as it could be. now if u shed all ur defense for attack dashing is ur friend. i think theres a few invincibility frames (either that or the hitbox is wonky) in that so say theres an attack, u just dash straight through them and i think older characters ability wind up may have some inv frames too its finicky like idk if its all characters. like i think u can see it in the vid where i kill ichigo for a second where i should have taken damage but i didnt because i just dashed through the attack.

for bosses u want to wait until u see orange health bar half full to use ur special because thats when the boss will use their special and ubwill suffer the consequences especially if ur boss is shuuhei and his fuckinh paralysis i hope u go to superhell motherfucker. depending on ur attack u can get the boss to the other side of the room if u position it right and if u have a good push back move such as vortexes or quincichigo’s first strong attack this allows u tike to get to the other side of the room before they use ur special, ofc u can be unlucky and the character doesnt use their special at this point but f. now if u time it right u could dash out of the special i believe its just too hard and not worth it imo ive only done it successfully a few times u gotta be a pro gamer for that one. ofc its much easier to delete them with a special but only rlly works with sp characters building that tenshi. theres no point as a nad character for a tenshi ur special is just to look pretty that is all (unless u have a status effect) or if u know when the boss is going to use the special its a good idea to weaken/lacerate them, usually by a special, and that makes the special useless. also if u dodge the first special be warned that the boss can use their special again like idk 15+ seconds or something so once the special is finished u go all in

as a melee character u want to dash through the boss to get behind them. they will attack in a string in one direction so use that time to get some damage they cannot change directions while attacking, use this to you advantage. works well for ranged too. strong attack 1 will be in one direction and will be the most common. strong attack 2 has more variety and will often be spread or some other weird shit. strong attack 3 will either be full screen or a charge attack. keep in mind that this is mostly applicable to newer characters so that tessai boss will not have any of these. the boss has this so if u know the abilities well u can expect a lot of strong attack 1 so get out of the way when ur in the direction the boss is facing. strong attacks also stagger just a little so u can use strong attacks as an opening attack to get in and start wacking but dont get greedy and back off when u know the boss is going to attack again.

a ranged character can play it safe u just run around in cicrcles and attack sometimes but for melee characters its a breeze just keep ur distance and avoid the special. ranged characters have a lower dps so ur boss fights gonna be slow in fact ur everything is going to be slow and u need to watch the timer the most. my favorite strategy is running around the room and attacking once in a while but dont get too greedy because the boss will punish u for it. as a ranged character u have the best change at surviving specials so use that to ur advantage. ranged characters tend to have good push back attacks so if u can, get them across the room and run to the other side as fast as u can.

now as a nad character ur style is focused on attacking, so u want to be dodging and attacking dodging and attacking. attacking from behind and shit. u need to play more aggressively and this is why i recced dr links because u are going to be at risk. as a sad character, u want to be running around the room until ur strong attacks get off cooldown and use those theres no real point to normal attacking because u are a noodle and ur attack will not do anything other than possibly open urself up to an attack from the boss. use the shit out of ur strong attacks and this is why i said cdr is a consideration for sad characters.

anyways thats all i have rn loool

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[princeanxious]

Current Au scenario in my head rn.. Shattered Raine.

Roman is a Prince, but of a different mortal realm, kinda like demons verses angels in hell and heaven, and how they have been technically able to walk among the mortal human realm as well as exist in their own realm and all that jazz.

Say that this realm that hes a prince in is like earth, but is home to demon-esque humans with powers and the ability to hop between realms and shit, maybe there are two other types of realms alongside this one and the human one, with angel-esque humanoids and then one thats more of a mix of between Angel and Demon esque humanoids, but none are inherently good or evil. They are just like humans, who overall have a good moral compass, but have the bad natured souls in the cracks, yknow?

Either way, the only ones who cannot actively go through to different realms of existance while they are still alive are humans. The only way humans can is when they die. At that point, human souls are given the option to reincarnate on earn(the usual option amongst humans) or (usually if said soul is broken and battered from the wildness that is earth) take a detour/choose to visit or live in one of the other three realms (and if they ever so desired, they could return to earth whenever they wanted if they wanted to reincarnated again, but the system of reintegrating a soul whos spent time away with a system that attempts to wipe the soul memory clean to give another life is another story all together and unimportant to me as I currently would like to get on with the story) it's also rare but not impossible for a Human to fully integrate into one of thw other realms and become one of those realms people, power and all.(weak at first and when untrained nor properly practiced, they usually remain harmless despite learning their set of magical skills unless given the aforementioned plus a lot of time.) This can be granted by the Top Tier powerful beings of the realms aside from earth, and is very hard(impossible) to reverse, so its a big decision to make(usually the earth-broken souls dont find the derision very hard, knowing that compared to earth, any of the other realms were just slightly more compassionate, definately not as large, and definately more accommodating in the sense of healing broken souls into something new)

Anyways, Roman is a Prince, Logan and Patton are also kinda in the same boat as nobility and princes but don't hold as much power as Roman does, ect. Ect. In their realm, the "demon" realm or 'more exotic and diversified magical populace realm,' really, the Top Tier powerful beings live as royalty(without the awful part of monarchy, as money isn't really a super big thing in this realm, or any of the other realms minus earth because these realms have magic. Companionship is slightly more cherished, money just gets you stuff like clothing and personal belongings. Housing isnt dictated by money, ect. -I'll figure this out more later- Very weird for the average human soul to get used to but, anyways)

As previously mentioned, beings from these other realms can walk on earth unbothered, usually masked as a human to remain undetected. Usually they do it for curiousity(like Logan), to visit human friends(like Patton), or because they were simply bored( and looking for inspiration, like Roman) and don't rely on the reincarnation systems to visit

Virgil is a human, and in his current earth life, he is honestly doing pretty terribly, enough so where he ends up set on being on the track of a broken soul; if any being from the other worlds looked into his soul, they would see it shattered like a phone screen, ready to splinter and fall apart. Any being who noticed this would have no doubt in their mind that Virgil's soul was young, and had simply gotten a bad earthen roll far too early. It would surprise them more if the kid didn't end up choosing to escape to the safer realms, considering how much time the young souls existance still had--it was almost like looking at an abandoned and injured infant creature, clinging to life whilst its chance of making it were rapidly declining by the minute. There was nothing they could do to help the human, and only Top Tiers could fenagle the system and bring fourth a human whos live had yet to end. (The only way this is exceptable is if said soul is destined to ruin at any possible day, and ot was not a matter of if but a matter of when. These souls are those titled Broken Souls) but to find such a soul so broken at its beginning? It left many aching, returning early with a reminder that earth was never truly that kind despite its varied beauty.

It was almost unheard of to find a soul so young, so broken. Normally earth's went easy on new souls until they were mature enough to handle earths random rolls, but somehow there seemed to be a mix up, and now this soul's experience was cut short? The thought had bugged Roman for some time now, especially after hearing the rumors of such a sorrowful and terrifying find among his people, so he sought to find out for himself.

Finding Virgil wasnt hard, considering the little human, who looked barely 20 and yet remained an unknowing beacon to others that 20 years had been more than enough to shatter him, was always being watched or spotted by creatures of the other realms and so asking around lead Roman to now, staring at the poor little thing. Sitting in the rain, at night, face upturned to the sky, and utterly soaked. Despite the shivers wracking the others thin frame, the soaked human didnt move from his place.

Interest peaked, mind made up, and magic stirring within his being, he walks up and plucks the little human out of the rain(unsurprised that the human is only half conscious and absolutely freezing) and doesnt hesitate to sink out of the earth realm and interact with the reincarnation system, getring the okay before appearing in his own realms castle, and demanding for Logan and Patton to greet him, because this was important. Virgil Raine was important, and if he wasnt quick and careful, the human soul would probably finally shatter in his fingertips.

So, cue a scene where Roman uses his magic to snap & strip Virgil of his wet clothes and instead replace them with loose heavy and warm, weighted pajamas, woolen slippers and socks, and a heavy and enchanted ever-warm blanket to wrap around the shaking human. When Patton and Logan arrive, they find Roman cradling the human bundle in his arms, worry etched across his face despite the slowly but surely receeding shaking.

Both Logan and Patton jump into action, Patton immidiately tuning in his specialty to help heal the humans physical ailments(making sure the young adults body didnt just give out on them) while Logan investigated Virgils soul.

I have more to this definately but its 1 am and I need to sleep probably so yeah. Maybe I'll call this Shattered Raine if anything comes of this. I have a lot of time on my hands anyway, so why not try? (Maybe I'll open an askblog. For not I'll settle on making a taglist if anyones interested.)

Adding my writings taglist in a reblog!