#actually doesn’t track with his story and the rest of the narrative

[jonsnowunemploymentera]

More recently, the dominant fandom narrative that’s been cropping up is the idea that ASOIAF isn’t a nihilist story but is instead a rather romantic story at its core. Or better yet, fans have come to accept that while it takes a more realistic approach to medieval fantasy, ASOIAF is essentially a tale about earned romanticism.

In the same story with Roose Bolton and Tywin Lannister, we have Davos Seaworth and Ned Stark and Brienne. The same story with dangerous ice elves who ride the waves of winter to threaten humanity with death and enslavement has characters like Bran Stark whose soul in animal form is called Summer (the opposite of winter) and Daenerys Targaryen who is the mother of dragons (representing heat and passion and life) and a liberator of slaves. So the idea that even in the face of evil and darkness, goodness and light still exist and will eventually prevail, right?

Ok. 

So tell me why people then use death and tragedy to define Jon Snow and his story even though he’s morally closer to Brienne, Ned, and Davos, and shares the same magical destiny as Bran and Dany? Why do people keep ascribing tragic endings to him and say he has the most probability to die (where are these statistics coming from)? Or they say that because he dies at the end of ADWD, then he’ll also die at the end of the story?

Jon’s death and resurrection (which happens during winter, mind you) is the idea of life everlasting. Even in death, life will continue to persevere. Jon’s great destiny is to fight the Others. It’s why GRRM made him the main POV in that magical war. His arc has always been related to the greater conflict that is coming. So Jon’s death and return to life is also going to be related to that conflict, right? 

See as the Others come riding the winds of winter, death follows. Of course this will affect the world. People may die and the land and its fertility might die as well, but ever persevering is the dream for spring. The dream that after a period of death and darkness and winter, life and light and spring will be restored. Jon, the main POV in the fight against the Others so far, is the embodiment of that. 

The next book is called The Winds of Winter and we can expect death and devastation to follow, but we can also expect new life to emerge. That new life is Jon Snow’s resurrection. He will be reborn and will gain new life in spite of winter. Jon’s rebirth in this book is a mirror of the life that will eventually be restored to the land after winter. Jon is literally a dream for spring and it’s actually quite poignant that these words are only ever said in his POV.

And, Jon’s mythological parallels are usually about life after a period of death. Usually there is death and sacrifice but then there is the promise of everlasting life that comes after. Jon is connected to spring and fertility and rebirth! 

He is the Corn King, a fertility god who dies and is reborn to bring about the rejuvenation of the land (spring). He is Persephone whose descent into the underworld is accompanied by winter, but whose ascent back to the world of the living brings about the spring. Other mythical parallels like Osiris are presented as gods of fertility who are connected to the promise of life after death. Not to mention the obvious messianic undertones that are everywhere in his story; a savior who dies in the place of his people and is reborn to ensure that they too see life after death. It goes on and on but a majority of the mythological influences in Jon’s story have to do with the concept of fertility and vegetation; NOT death.

So as I see it, the struggle between life and death is personified with Jon Snow. Jon’s death at the end of ADWD coincides with winter arriving in Westeros. But then he won’t stay dead because he will be brought back to life; though we’re not sure how it will happen, only that Jon will have a chance at rebirth. 

And Jon will be reborn during winter. Isn’t the idea then that even in the face of death, life prevails? That’s why it’s so thematically relevant that as the cold sweeps through Westeros, a bastard boy is brought back to life near the lands of winter so he can then beat back death. It’s what makes Jon the King of Winter. Not that he represents death but rather that he conquers it.

It’s thematically meaningful for Jon, one of the main heroes of the story, to actually wrestle with death and come out on top. So him dying again at the end of the story or having a tragic end, what’s the point of that? How does that track with the current thematic elements in the story? Yes, this is even if he is to die in an act of self-sacrifice. Jon has already done that at the end of ADWD. What will a second death show that hasn’t been done with the first one? What new understanding will we gain of the character?

I don’t understand why this fandom goes out of its way to deny Jon the romanticism that they ascribe to other characters, even though GRRM puts him at the heart of that struggle between life and death. It’s so vital that out of all the prophesied heroes in the story, Jon is the one who literally tastes death but ultimately defeats it through resurrection. Eventually, that has to mean something to the larger themes presented in the story.

So the point is not that Jon died. The point is that he died but did not stay that way. He lived. The boy lived. So stop using death to define Jon’s story!

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 70 – American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis

I’m honestly not sure I ever would have gotten around to reading this on my own, but ended up buying it through the ‘blind date with a book’ thing a bookstore in New York was doing when I was visiting (incredible gimmick, for the record). The fact that it then took me a solid three months to actually finish probably tells you something about how genuinely difficult a read I found it. Not in the sense of being bad, but just legitimately difficult to stomach at points. Overall I’d call it a real triumph of literature.

Not that anyone doesn’t already know, but; the book is spent inside the head of Patrick Bateman, high-flying wall street trader and Harvard blueblood at the close of the Reagan era. Also a serial killer. The story is told as a series of more or less disconnected vignettes, jumping from dinner conversations at one exclusive bar or club or another to the brutal torture and murder of a sex worker to several pages of incredibly vapid pontification on Nina Simone’s discography. The story vaguely tracks Bateman growing ever-more alienated and out of control as the year goes on, but there’s very much not any real single narrative or cathartic climax here. - most stuff just happens (stuff that’s either incredibly tedious or utterly nauseating by turns but still just, stuff).

So yeah this is an intensely literary work (obviously), a word I’m here using to mean one that is as much about the form and style of the writing as about the actual events portrayed. Bateman is a monster, but more than that he’s just an utterly boring and tedious husk of a man, traits which are exaggerated to the point of being fascinating– if you told this story in conventional third person narration without all the weird asides, it would be a) like half as long and b) totally worthless. The tonal whiplash of going from an incredibly visceral depiction of Bateman cutting out the eyes of a homeless man to six (utterly insipid) pages on the merits of The Doors is the selling point here (well actually I think Ellis goes back to that specific well probably one time too many, but in general I mean).

Bateman is a tedious, unstable monster, but as far as the book has an obvious thesis it’s that he differs from the rest of his social milieu only in degree. A symptom of a fundamentally rotten society, not a heroic devil among sheep. The book’s climax, such as it is, involved Bateman getting into a drug-fueled gunfight with the NYPD, shooting multiple people in the middle of the street, and then stumbling home and leaving a rambling confession to every crime on his lawyer’s answering machine – but despite very clearly wanting and trying to get caught and face some sort of consequence or justice, people just refuse to believe that someone like him is capable of anything like that. (It’s not, it must be said, an especially subtle book).

There is, as far as I can recall, not a single character who gets enough screentime to give an idea of their personality who I’d call likeable. Sympathetic, sure, but that’s mostly because it’s pretty much impossible not to sympathize with someone getting horrifically tortured and torn apart (at one point a starving rat is involved). The upper crust of New York yuppie-dom is portrayed as shallow and vapid, casually bigoted towards quite literally everyone who isn’t identical to them, status-obsessed to the point of only being able to understand the world as a collection of markers of class and coolness, and totally incapable of real human connection. Bateman is a monster not because of any freak abnormality, but just because he takes all of that a few steps further than his coworkers.

The book is totally serious and straight-faced in its presentation, and absolutely never acknowledges any of the running gags that are kept up through it. Which shows impressive restraint, and also means that none of them exactly have a payoff or a punchline – it’s just a feature of the world that all the expensive meals at trendy restaurants everyone competes for tables at sound disgusting when you think about them for a moment, or that the whole class of wall street trader guy are so entirely interchangeable that ostensible close friends and coworkers constantly mistake each other for other traders and no one particularly cares. Or – and I’m taking this on faith because fuck knows I’ve got no idea what any of the brands people are wearing are – that the ruinously expensive outfits everyone spends so very much time and money on for every engagement all clash comically if you actually looked up what the different pieces looked like. The book’s in no way really a comedy, so the jokes sit a bit oddly, but they’re still overall pretty funny, at least to me.

I like to think I have something of a strong stomach for unpleasant material in books, but this was the first work of fiction that I had genuine trouble reading for content reasons in I can’t even remember. I’m not sure it’s exactly right to call the violence pornographic in a general sense, but as far as American Psycho goes the register and tone Bateman uses to describe fucking a woman and torturing her to death are basically identical (and told in similarly explicit detail), and all of Bateman’s sexual fantasies are more or less explicitly just porn scenes he wants to recreate, so. Regardless, the result’s pretty alienating in both cases – his internal monologue never really feels anything but detached and almost bored as he relays what he does, sound exactly as vapid and alienated as when he is carefully listing the exact brands and designers every person he ever interacts with is wearing at all times, or arguing over dinner reservations for hours on end with his friends and lovers (though both those terms probably deserve heavy airquotes around them). He legitimately sounds considerably more engaged when talking about arguing over sartorial etiquette. It all adds up to a really strong alienating effect.

Anyways, speaking of sex and violence – perhaps because my main exposure to the story before this was tumblr making memes out of scenes from the movie, but I was pretty shocked by just how explicitly awful Patrick is ‘on screen’. The horrible murder, sure, but also just the casual and frequent use of racist and homophobic slurs, the pathological misogyny, the total breakdown he has at the idea of a gay man being attracted to him and thinking he might reciprocate – all of these are entirely in character for an asshole Wall Street ‘80s Guy even if he wasn’t a serial killer, but it’s still oddly shocking at first to see it so thoroughly represented on the page. It makes how comparatively soft-pedaled the bigotry and just, awfulness, of villains in a lot of more modern books stand out a lot more, I suppose? I have read a lot of books that are in some sense About queerness and/or racism in the last year, and no one in any of them holds a candle to good old Patrick Bateman.

Part of that is just the book being so intensely of its time, I suppose. The New York of this book is very much one of the late ‘80s, incredible wealth living side by side with social rot and decay, crippling poverty everywhere and a society that has to a great degree just stopped caring. Absolutely none of which Bateman or any of his peers care one bit about, of course – they’re too busy showing off the latest walkmans and record players, going to the newest clubs, and just generally enjoying all the fruits of Reagan’s America. Recent history has made the fact that Bateman’s personal idol is Donald Trump almost too on the nose to be interesting, but in 1991 I’m sure it was a bit more subtle in how telling it was.

Anyway, yeah, horrifying and exhausting read, triumph of literature, my god did Easton Ellis hate America (this is a compliment). Now time to go watch the movie!

[paintbrushnebula]

I think now that Tangled the Series has been over for the better part of four years now, what makes me sad the most is that there were enough pieces left behind by the film to construct a compelling narrative for a strong continuation of Rapunzel and Eugene's story that wouldn't have required all this "bigger and more epic" stuff that the series made up in order to be interesting. 

And you can have big epic magical stuff, that's fine! I LOVE epic large-scale stories! But there's a difference between expanding your world by further developing its elements and themes, and just scaling up the adventure tenfold to be “bigger and better”—which is what I feel that the series did in the end. 

It’s funny, because I was already a fan of Tangled when I was little. I still remember being 7 years old sitting in that theater with my sister, actually breathless and in shock when Eugene drew his last breath. I had never seen a kids movie where a lead character dies.

(and I know that sounds absurd because there were Disney films before where a lead character dies and comes back XD look I was 7 and my parents weren’t people who knew many pop culture American movies at the time so I didn’t watch much that wasn’t Disney Channel or VHS films that my Grandma owned. To this day I’m still kind of trying to catch up on film culture XD)

Sorry to get off track but what I’m trying to say is, I was there when the series was announced and they revealed that promo art back in 2016, I saw the 30 second promo trailer, I watched “Wind in my Hair” when it was released on Youtube in February 2017 the morning before school and I was hyped for the rest of the day, and I remember watching Before Ever After’s premiere with my sister and was FLOORED that it was good??!! Like actually was gonna have a serialized overarching story and everything! God I’ll never forget Eugene’s verse where he pulls out that ring. I’ll never forget Rapunzel’s face when he gives her his proposal speech (before it went downhill that is), and I’ll always forget the last 25 minutes that take place  after Rapunzel’s hair grows back because its low-key pretty heckin boring! 

What hyped me was the relationship stuff, Rapunzel’s PTSD, the parent drama, everything that those first 30 minutes had that made me THINK we were in for an emotional story about Rapunzel’s life after the tower, I thought we’d get to see in detail how she’s gonna to grapple with her trauma, her new life, her new responsibilities, her new relationships, all that. And some of the series was that, a very small “some.” Not enough by any means for me lol

Because like, wouldn’t that have been a more interesting story to tell than the one we got? Ultimately Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure doesn’t feel like a continuation of Rapunzel’s story, it’s more like a Brand New Adventure that happens star Rapunzel and Eugene Fitzherbert. I know that sounds weird and I might not be making much sense here but, did the story of a girl who stops a plague of darkness and fights a transdimensional demon blueberry ghost girl and has to reconcile with her “step-sister” HAVE to be about Rapunzel? Also like, just. NOTICE how that summation of the story of the series DOESNT involve Eugene in some way. You know. The hecking CO-LEAD of the film this series is based on. 

And like, there was so much story to be told with Rapunzel and Eugene WITHOUT the blueberry Disney Junior-giving ghost girl, the poorly written heavily contrived step-sister conflict, AND the big plague of darkness nonsense. Rapunzel and Eugene are two VERY tragic individuals. DO SOMETHING WITH THEM, IOUHWO4Y2IBBU3FN3FI

I’ll admit that I was more attached to the series than I was to the movie while it was airing, and even for like 2 years after it was over. I was younger and more immature and the big stakes and fresh new characters and magical adventures captivated me more than the focused drama of the movie. But now that I’m older, I realize that I resonate more with Rapunzel in the movie. NOT in any concerning “do you need help?” Kind of ways, just that I find myself thinking the way she thought, since I’m now around the age she was in the movie. The way I think about my future, my self esteem etc. I relate to how she feels inexperienced and fresh in the world despite being a young adult, because she hasn’t done any of those “big things” yet. And you wonder “how am I gonna do those big things? When do they happen? Will I know what to do when they happen?” I get it, Rapunzel, I really do. 

The series is kinda an afterthought to me now I guess. I still appreciate that it exists and I’m so happy it happened. In the beginning, it didn’t feel real when it was happening. Like a dream honestly. And like, Tangled the Series is literally 80% the reason I wanted to write fiction, so I’ll always be grateful for it. 

But holy kriff is the movie so much better heeheeeeeeeeee

[stagefoureddiediaz]

so do you think if buck and tommy don't break up in episode 6 that they're gonna be breaking up the next time tommy appears which would be in 9 or 10 and it'll be a mutual/amicable break up because of Buck realizing his feelings for Eddie?

Hey Nonnie

Why would they be breaking up in episode 6???

That’s never been a thing that would happen.

There are two options at play her really - the first is that they will come to some kind of natural conclusion in episode 9 or 10.

Or the second option is that they’ll end the season together and will end some time early in season 8.

Either way it may or may not have to do with a buck feelings realisation - neither get in the way of buddie if that is what you’re worried about. All the chess pieces are moving into place nicely - Eddie still has a way to go on his journey - he has a lot to work through and isn’t ready for Buck at all yet and the show is dropping anvils that that’s where they’re going with his arc - we just don’t have a timeline yet.

Buck getting to be happy and have a good relationship for a period - while he discovers more about himself and while Eddie does that work on himself is no bad thing. Buck will also get to grow and learn - and get to a place where he is also ready for Eddie - for forever. Because as things stand right now - I don’t think Buck would handle a feelings realisation well at all - in fact I think it would be detrimental to buddie. For starters buck doesn’t really know how to have a healthy relationship - all of his have been some level of toxic. Secondly, tying bucks newly awakened queer identity to his feelings for Eddie in that way - so quickly - would potentially send buck spiralling at this moment in time in an unhealthy way- slowly figuring it out over time as he dates Tommy is a much more interesting narrative - and plays into why they’ve chosen to have Tommy be such an obvious version of Eddie - we the audience know and can see what’s going on but oblivious buck (being true to character and being oblivious!) slowly connecting the dots - in a way that frustrates the audience - the pay off for us is far more satisfying - and it’s a more realistic story and more ground breaking for a queer love story on network television!

We don’t want them to rush together because buddie is end game - the last relationship either will ever have - so then getting to a great place individually before they start something is really great and really important.

Plus don’t forget this cat and mouse type narrative is fun too - buck fell first but didn’t realise - Eddie fell harder but didn’t realise until he got shot - then Eddie had to hide it - then he had a grief spiral ,Buck in a coma) - then he got so good at keeping it buried he started dating Marisol - at which point Buck had an almost epiphany but has mistaken it for Tommy rather than Eddie.

Eddie who is now unpacking the bit of himself that will allow him to actually embrace his queer identity. Eddie who panicked - asked Marisol to move in with him when he realised Buck was single again - then decided to only back track a bit rather than ending things when he realised Buck wasn’t in fact single and was also bi and now dating Tommy - because being single and alone when the man you’ve been in love with for so long is no longer single and is now actually in a relationship with a man - that means he was an option is not a fun place to be - so staying in a relationship that’s meh but ok is preferable to him.

Basically - the show seems to be setting this up for a full arc in 8a, leading to buddie canon. I genuinely at this point don’t think they’re doing to have any form of Eddie actually stating his queerness in the rest of 7 - I think they will continue to make it blatantly obvious thats where it’s headed but I think they’ll save his story for 8a - which is the best place for it imo - where it can be done properly.

So why shouldn’t buck get to be happy with Tommy for a bit in the meantime?? He’s earnt it!

This gif a bit out of control, but I hope it’s interesting!! 💜💜💜

[jamiesfootball]

One of the things that’s been noodling in my head since the finale is how Ted Lasso plays the forgiveness card in regards to the Tartt Sr situation.

Yes, I’ve banged on this drum before. I shall bang on it again. Buh-dum.

Bear with me as I start from the outside and work my way in by first referencing a moment from a different show.

In Leverage, there’s an episode where they convince the guy they’re trying to take down to break out of police custody by making him think he’s in the middle of a deadly epidemic that’s being covered up by the government. The details of this aren’t important, but when Nate is explaining why it worked, he says something along the lines of ‘there’s a part of your brain that’s meant to question and make judgements. What we did was we tapped into the emotional center of his brain, so that he would forget to question anything.’

Now I'm paraphrasing, but this is actually a good summary of how a lot of cons work- they create an emotional story and a sense of relationship, to make you forget to ask ��wait does this guy just want my money.’ Think of scary voicemails telling you your student loans got sent to collections and you need to call now. Think Nigerian Prince schemes. Think car dealerships.

Because that is the power of a story when the narrative structure follows all the guidelines. You become invested, and you believe the narrative. (This is also why Jump the Shark exists, when a narrative has wobbled so off its tracks that the belief becomes suspended, but I digress.)

So the issue for me with regards to the James Tartt Sr story line, is that from a technical standpoint the wider Story of Ted Lasso did meet the minimum requirements for ‘believable.' My coworker, for instance, absolutely loved how ALL the story lines tied up in the finale, including that one. She couldn’t explain why, she just said it was ‘really nice and it worked for her.’

But I’ll highlight that bit in the middle—she couldn’t explain why—because that’s the thrust of the situation. The Story, from her perspective, told a satisfying emotional conclusion by hitting all the correct points. It essentially did what a con does, and in the resulting emotion she failed to question it.

And I think therein lies the trouble with the Jamie's dad story line. Because it is being told within the scope of a broader narrative, it is allowed to coast on the merits of the rest of the narrative. For three seasons, the show preaches forgiveness and second chances and people having depth, so when it asks you to do it again at the end - with Jamie's dad, hell I'd even say with Rupert for a hot second - you already have within you all the emotional build-up to say 'yes.'

Except that the buildup doesn’t happen with James, or even Rupert, it happens to the people that they hurt. Jamie’s the one who learned how to be better. Jamie is the one who tried to make amends to the people he hurt. Jamie is the one who had to un-fuck his whole life. Jamie earned all of that emotional payoff.

His dad did not.

So the show sells you one emotional story, and at the end shuffles in another to reap the benefits of it.

But just like a con only works as long as you don’t start to question it, the second you question the James Tartt Sr storyline the more you realize how much of that work happened elsewhere in the story.

You know those youtube videos that are cut together scenes of ‘every time This Character talks about Big Plot Point’? Think of those videos. Sometimes they’re a concentrated dose of very high tense moments, but sometimes they’re a little anemic, aren’t they? Sometimes you watch those videos and realize just how much heavy lifting other scenes did just to imply that the narrative was moving forward.

Well if you made a youtube video of ‘all the scenes that mention / have James Tartt Sr in them’ and cut them together, you definitely do NOT get an emotionally satisfying ending. In fact you go from someone who implies that their father is violent, to seeing their father be violent, to seeing their father threaten violence to his kid, to seeing him inflict that violence on someone else in place of his kid, to the kid confiding in someone else that even more fucked up shit happened, to the kid’s mom trying to console him, to the kid literally showing symptoms of PTSD at the idea his father might be around-

-to someone asking him if maybe he should try to let that go

-to their dad being proud of them

-to reestablishing contact

-to a happy montage of them smiling together the end.

At bare minimum there is an entire confrontation missing. And that is minimum. Minimum narrative work said this storyline should have had a climax. But this is a storyline that did not breathe on its own- it relied on a dozen smaller, unrelated, moments to give it the illusion of a satisfying ending.

And since it was weaved in with the rest, to some people – people who were too in vested in the story to question it – that was a great ending. That was a perfect ending.

That’s the illusion of telling a story- people are predisposed to believing the story that is being told, to the point where they will forget to ask questions.

When people talk about this kind of narrative being a dangerous one? That’s where that comes from. That’s what it means. It’s not just that someone depicted a story of someone forgiving their abuser, it’s that the did it in such a way that that isn’t even what happened. Most of the time it is the narrative that forgives the abuser, not the character. The character doesn’t get to scream and cry and let out all the pain they suffered. The character doesn’t get to set boundaries and learn to experience the world safely. The character, often times, isn’t even worth an apology from the person who hurt them.

It isn't the character who gets closure in these narratives; it's the audience who does. And it’s so insidious that it can very nearly trick a person in real life into thinking that maybe they too will get closure if they forgive someone – without ever realizing that in these stories, the narrative was never on their side in the first place.

[haybuhay]

i am asking you about dermabrasion by pennydaniels 👀

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTION!!! IM NOW GOING TO GO CRAZY !

DERMABRASION BY PENNYDANIELS is a canon divergent BNHA fic focusing mainly on Todoroki Shouto and Dabi’s relationship if Shouto had figured out his identity and tracked him down at the start of the UA school year. It is over 400k words, 41 chapters, and is one of my favorite BNHA fics (or just plain fics) ever. I cannot recommend it enough.

I will try SO HARD not to spoil anything in this rant/essay in case you haven’t read it… But minor spoiler warning anyway in case I mess up.

Some of the stuff I’m going to talk about is waay down the line (like 40 chapters out of 41 chapters type of down the line) but the fact that you know it’ll happen won’t take away from the joy of reading it because the execution is just that good. Probably. The build-up to these moments is just as good as them happening, if not better, I SWEAR.

OK. RANT BEGIN.

For reference, this fic began December 2020 and finished January 2023!! We got the Dabi is a Todoroki reveal November 2020 and then more about his backstory February 2021.

So this means that Dabi’s characterization and backstory here aren’t 100% canon compliant. Despite the fact that it’s in AU territory, the fic handles Dabi’s character and motivations really well?? Arguably, its because it’s not canon compliant that the fic is able to give us such a good insight into his character... Wow… When authors can expand on existing narratives while staying true to the essence of the characters… 😍…

Dabi’s motives, which I think are actually super close to canon (!!!), and how they inform his choices within the timeline of the fic and in his backstory make me so crazy. I am going to be cryptic and just say that the glimpses we get of young tweenage Touya in this fic is everything to me. His whole relationship with Endeavor at literally at any point in the story is especially well done…

A large part of this fic’s appeal to me is how it handles Endeavor. I am a huge fan of the Todorokis’ whole plot and since Enji is the dead centre of that fucked up family storm, I think getting him right is probably one of the most pivotal points in writing fics that puts emphasis around literally any Todoroki. Not even just how Enji himself is, but also the way other characters think about and act around him should be given thought and written with care... Dermabrasion does him, his affect on his kids and his wife and his development so much justice.

The fic begins with Season 1 Shouto’s Endeavor hatred. His vehemence for the guy is so obvious even in just the first few paragraphs where he dubs him ‘that fucker.’ He does this consistently throughout the fic LOL

Tbh. This put me off the fic a little, since I’m not interested in reading Endeavor-bashing fics (no matter how deserved they are HAHA) but I just got over myself and realised no, yeah. This is in character, it is completely understandable and a little hilarious...

What I like here is that his feelings towards Endeavor (negative or otherwise) aren’t a static thing — it progresses not just as Endeavor changes, but as he grows closer in understanding Dabi and the rest of his family and as he, himself, grows up. It’s so rewarding to see it unfold throughout the storyline little by little. I want to say that it happens in the background but honestly Endeavor haunts this entire fic. It’s not that he’s always there. Honestly, he doesn’t show up that much, but it’s only by virtue of his actions that this storyline exists at all so it’s like every action taken is an echo of his. Something about how even when he’s not there, everything is always about him and what he’s done. It’s great, and I mean that genuinely. I love this so bad.

Shouto’s character here is perfect for this sort of fic, I think. He’s stunted and it’s openly acknowledged by other characters how… weird?? he can come across. I think it just makes his arc all that more apparent... He becomes somewhat of a moral paragon and I’n not even upset about it. His development as a character is thoroughly explored and so hard-earned that his transformation from a dead-faced, dead-eyed kid to who he is at the end of the fic is just. rewarding.

AND ITS NOT JUST HIM… Almost every main-focus character goes through some sort of gratifying journey and are made to reckon with parts of themselves that in Dabi’s case, would mean redefining his entire identity. You can tell that all the characters in this fic want to be better, not just for themselves, but for the people around them. It’s one of my favourite things about this fic, how personal improvement is such a huge part in it. This is definitely the Mob Psycho 100 lover in me speaking.

(Side tangent: MP100 being a story about an overpowered, stoic, repressed kid who, with the company of a dubiously moral older brother figure, learns how to become a better version of himself and by doing that, he inspires those around him, including that dubiously moral older brother figure. This is Dermabrasion in a different world. If you love MP100, I will eat my entire shoe if you don’t enjoy Dermabrasion too.)

While the focus is definitely mainly on Shouto and Dabi, the entire family has their part in it. Natsuo, Fuyumi, Rei and Enji all get their moments to shine and show their growth and unique personalities. A fun thing about this is how similar Shouto and Enji are… I think it really drives home that they’re family.

I don’t think this is a huge spoiler, since it’s kinda implied in the premise, but when Natsuo reunites with Dabi the interaction is so. Real. And the fact that it takes time and effort for their relationship to be built back is so poignant and crazy and SICK. Everything in this fic is earned through a lot of tears and pain and misery. It’s a cathartic read.

Okay, now that I made it sound like the entire fic is just one huge therapy session, let me mention humour once then immediately go back to doing that HAHAHA I think this fic is funny as hell. Humour is subjective, yesyesyes, but it grew on me and it WILL grow on you. The back and forths between characters, Shouto’s natural temperament making him predisposed to being absolutely Comical, the inherent comedy of being in a Hero Society... As someone with siblings the way the Todoroki siblings interact here, fights and messy reuniting shit notwithstanding, has so much of the annoyed love and care that you get from the people you grew up with. I particularly like Fuyumi and Natsuo’s dynamic together.

They’re outcasts in different ways than Dabi and Shouto are outcasts. The guilt and remorse they feel not just from not being able to step in for Shouto, but for leading their own lives is GAHHH. The entire thing about being in a different world to their brothers and dad is … Augh. Heroes and Villains.

Rei. Rei… I am GUTTED by every scene she is in. I reread ‘when your love has always been enough (for me)’ by classicequinox to cope. That is a different post to make one day when I have the energy.

Idk if I said all I wanted to say. There’s definitely more to this fic. DabiHawks, for one. I think they’re great here. Somehow they AREN’T horrifically toxic, WOO!! The details of this I will leave for you to read… Another thing I like about this fic is how 1A reacts to Todoroki family lol. LOV also has its part in this fic, I think it is sweet what happens to them but ofc since they aren’t really the main focus, it’s more a fun bonus to see what happens to them.

Ok I need to wrap this up. One day I’ll write a proper spoiler-full essay about this with a thesis statement and everything but yk. Life.

To conclude I’ll just talk about the ending of this fic. It’s my favourite, absolute favourite thing about it. The author themself quoted a comment they received in the last chapter that I am going to quote here too: “Even at the end there's the clear sense that the character's lives will continue and that this is only the beginning for them.” That is literally the best way to sum up this fic. These character’s will continue growing and bettering and it gives me so much real, genuine hope in myself that I can change, too. So yeah. Read this fic and if it changes your life let me know.

[cherokeegal1975]

Free Audiobook on Youtube with a private feedback comment included.

I know this is a repost, but bear with me. There is a reason for it. I'm making sure you know what this comment is about. These next paragraphs between the quotes are not my words. They were written to me in a kind of letter attached to the first chapter of my book. Noonibean was doing me a solid just because she wanted to. She quit after the fifth chapter. Still grateful years later anyway.

This is purely a copy paste, I changed nothing:

"Please forgive me; I started off using Microsoft track changes, but it was taking me FOREVER and I was also afraid all the notes and splices might confuse you. So I went ahead and just gave everything a facelift and kept it in black. Next time, I will write my changes in a different color.

Okay, so first of all, I really think you have something great here, and I’m not just blowing smoke. I love the world you have built, and I am already very intrigued by the storyline. You captured Johnny’s relationship with Little Girl beautifully, and the same goes for Goldie. You can tell they all care about each other deeply. Is it weird that Johnny kind of reminds me of Aladdin? Lol, I think it’s the desert vibe and the growing up with thieves thing.

I love that you started the story with a strong action hook, but since you backtrack from there, I’m wondering if you can find a clear and concise way to transition into the past. Even if it’s a sentence or two about his mind going back into the past as he runs. (He doesn’t actually reach the rocks/resting place in this chapter, right? I just assumed he was running this whole time.)

You paint the pictures and scenes wonderfully, and I can imagine all of it as I read – just be careful not to add too much where explanation isn’t necessary. I noticed you have a tendency to over-explain certain things about the characters or the situation. We don’t always need to know the “why.” Try to keep it clean and concise so as not to slow down the narrative. This first chapter is extremely tough too, because it is practically all narrative and there is very little dialogue. Just because you know certain things about the characters doesn’t mean your audience needs to know them. Let them figure a few things out for themselves. Remember to give your readers the credit they deserve. They are smarter than you think, and not everything has to be explained to them, especially when you “show” rather than “tell.” All the rest is just fluff. For example, because you’re a good writer, I already assumed LG could see well in the dark, and I knew how much Johnny cared about her.

Basically, I went in and corrected some grammar, and trimmed the “fat” to make everything read tighter without affecting the real meat of the story. For example, instead of three paragraphs about Johnny’s sand ship, we really only need one-and-a-half. The narrative I cut out can easily be peppered in throughout the rest of the book if absolutely necessary, so let me know if there was something I took out that was crucial. I don’t think I did, though.

Regarding the action scenes, remember that tight, short sentences convey the sense of urgency best. Longer sentences slow the action down, so I shortened the cliff jumping scene as well as the fight scene. Another thing I did was re-arrange sentences to make them flow more naturally, and remove “filler” adjectives along with invisible words like “that” and “of.”

I tried to deepen Johnny’s point of view. For example, since we are in his POV, you wouldn’t need to say: “He knew there was a way to drive down from up there.” You would simply put: “There was a way to drive down from up there.” Since we are in his mind, he already knows it. Know what I mean?

Lastly, words like “was” and “to be” tend to make a story read more passively, so I like to use them sparingly. If I can think of a different way to word the sentence without using those passive words, I will do that instead. Example of a passive sentence (which we don’t want): “He was tired and hungry.” Same thing, but active instead: “Wariness overcame him, and his stomach growled with hunger pangs.”

Also, is it Prince Richard or King Richard? I was hella confused, lol. It’s king in the beginning, and then Prince after that. I would choose one and stick with it or explain why he is now being called Prince.

I really hope some of this made sense. I tend to ramble. Let me know what you think about the edits I made. I am really looking forward to reading more!"

This is a comment from a lovely lady that goes by Noonibean on DeviantART. I am respecting her privacy by not posting her real name. I did follow her advice in my manuscript and on my posts for this book on DeviantART (I'm CherokeeGal1975 there too), but the fixes do not appear in the actual novel because I'm doing a hands off policy until I can get some more help from a professional editor. But I thought I'd share this since she did have some very positive things to say about my book.

I can't fix the audiobook, that will have to come much later. I think I'd rather hire someone to be my reader once I have all the work done I need to do. Not sure when that will be, but I set it as a life goal...or to put it another way, it's on my bucket list.

I'd love to read what you think as well.

P.S. - Noonibean did the cover art for my Kindle version of Unexpected Cargo. I would've used it for my paperback version of it, but for some reason Amazon wouldn't let me. So I just keep that cover art as a treasured file.

[thepaperclip]

Jojolands live-blogging let’s goooooooo

1st impressions under the cut:

Jodio is such a wild name especially considering there’s a Spanish meaning (look it up lol). It makes me think of the Jorge Joestar novel where it says that Erina spelled George II’s name as “Jorge” to keep the “Jo” and it’s like ah yes, it’ll play out how you think in the Spanish-speaking Canary Islands.

Jodio’s narration makes him sound like an actual 15-year-old, and there’s something a bit charming about that. He goofs around and wants to become rich, but he also follows other people’s orders and definitely is flying by his pants as he goes through this process. Araki did a great job establishing Jodio through his narrative voice, stuff like, This may sound like bullshit” and his tangent admiring Meryl’s designs.

There’s definitely the “Giorno” connections (Giorno was the child of both Jonathan and Dio and Jodio is like combining “Jonathan” and “Dio” as names, both are 15 in their stories and have jobs connected with crime, and both of them have clear ambitions). Both of them definitely are observant and can read people very well. However, unlike Giorno, Jodio is not a smooth criminal. He reacts with violence first as opposed to trying to charm his way out of situations. Jodio’s been a low-level grunt for gangs since he was a child, rather than Giorno being a solo petty thief who, once completing initiation, dethrones the Boss and takes charge in like a week.

Another notable thing in this story is that Jodio is a Jojo who comes with a sibling, an older sibling at that. Jodio is definitely protective of Dragona, and also defers to their choices, and listens when Dragona begs Jodio to hold back. I love their rapport, it definitely feels like accurate sibling energy. They crime together, goof off with each other, both of them protect their mother and each other. I love how Dragona was begging for the police to leave Jodio alone because he’s a kid, a minor, and that Dragona holds Jodio back from going too far when beating up the cops who’d assaulted them. I also love how Jodio saw what was going on with Dragona and went “aight time for violence” immediately.

Definitely a new dynamic for the Jojo and JoBro, and also a refreshing take on Jojo sibling dynamics. Jonathan and Dio was about the worst way siblings could go (understatement), and Josuke and Joshu plus the other Higashikata children had a rocky dynamic given that…well, the amnesiac teenager being adopted into the family is a lot to get used to, so in some ways Jojolion was in part the Higashikatas learning how to accept Josuke and give him the family he needs. Johnny and Nicholas seemed to have a positive relationship, but of course that ended with tragedy given Nicholas’ passing.

Regarding the discourse over Dragona’s pronouns, I admit, as someone who is cis, I don’t feel I have a right to comment on this detail beyond that this is only the first chapter, and we don’t know how Araki will handle it for the rest of the run. Given that Araki is a cis Japanese man in his 60s, and that his writing and portrayals of other marginalized folks doesn’t have the best track record (Part 2 the anime had to cut out some rather unsavory caricatures of Mexicans, and Part 3 tended to play into uhh questionable “exotic land” stereotypes especially along Southeast Asia), I wouldn’t recommend getting one’s hopes up for the most stellar execution of representation for Dragona here. I will definitely say that no matter what happens with Dragona, it’s a Your Mileage May Vary situation, but beyond that, I’ll leave that to people who know more and have lived experience when it comes to talking about Dragona’s gender identity.

Meryl is the tallest Jojo character now after the Pillar Men and that is amazing also, yeah, how many hustles does she have? The fact that she’s a school principal as well as a small business owner as well as a crime boss (not sure how big her gang is though). I’m sure there’s a joke about the US educational system in here somewhere lol.

Also, a Jojo in a US public highschool. No notes lmao

There’s several references to our time, like Dua Lipa, Uber, and Covid. We can assume that means this takes place past 2020, most likely around 2022-2023 since no one is wearing masks, but Dragona doesn’t like the officer getting that close and cites social distancing as a reason—notably, the officer is shown as Asian since he asks “do you not want me to get close to you because of my race?” which also references the spike of hate crimes against Asians during the height of the pandemic. There’s also a bit of a meta mark of the times given how Araki went ACAB in the first 5 pages of chapter 1.

The Filthy Frank lookin’ ass dude. No notes lol

This part’s theme seems to be focusing on a new concept called “Mechanisms”. As far as I can understand about how it works given what we have so far about it, it seems to be something to do with “social systems.” Jodio built a social system of “trust” through being a good Gofer for the gang he works for, while the classmate he compares himself to is bullied because he doesn’t have a system like that for the school. Even though the unnamed student is larger, maybe smarter, and presumably wealthier, he’s singled out for bullying because he doesn’t have a good “mechanism” and will be due to leave the school soon. We’ll have to see how this plays out in the coming chapters…

HEIST HEIST HEIST HEIST

The jewel in the heist will not be how Jodio gets rich, or else, perhaps it will prove more trouble than it’s worth. I say that based on nothing. Araki might pull a different trope regarding this jewel, but I doubt he’d make this into a Maguffin for very long.

[aribaran]

10 & 19 !

10. write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone? i'm always writing with noise, but it's music. i have some pretty intense playlists for my work, haha. i prefer to write alone whenever possible.

19. when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, etc.?

so i use scrivener for my project planning and it has a great feature where you can put all of your meta work into folders but it won't be included in the compiles. i usually do character profiles there if i need to, for the hockey books i have full rosters for every team, spreadsheets with all of the team names, etc.

for the rest of it, it's long, so.

it does depend on the book. i structure and write a fantasy novel a little differently from my romance novels (they are m/m hockey books. i know this comes as a huge surprise lol). i always use scrivener for my outlining and drafts, but you don’t have to buy a fancy program, you can do the same thing in open office or google docs.

no matter what the book is, i start with my characters. who are they as people? where are they from? what is their ethnicity and what are their families like? what do they like? how do they interact with others? sometimes guys just show up in my head fully formed and in those cases, it’s a lot easier to write their stories because they’re just…there. like real people. but the central question of every book is: what do these people want and why can’t they have it? sometimes those questions are internal (is this guy incredibly insecure and doesn’t truly believe that his best friend is in love with him even though all of the evidence is right there in front of his face?) and sometimes it is external (these guys are trying to kill each other, but they don’t realize the game is rigged against BOTH of them).

but start with that question and i think then it’s a lot easier to come up with the rest of the story.

after that, i pick a starting point and i usually pick an ending point. i almost always write my last scene first, or at least write some notes. i just like to know where i’m going so i can pace how i’m getting there.

how i ACTUALLY outline is where it really starts to split up based on book. for my hockey novels, it makes sense for me to outline and structure them in an actual timeline, since the plot is based around the season.

each folder is a season, split up into months, split up into scenes. i find it helpful to label whose POV is in which one so i know at a glance if things aren’t well-balanced. and then i just keep doing that until the book ends, which is usually between april and july, depending on if they make the playoffs.

what you end up filling it in with is varied. i usually like to figure out the conflict or breaking point, and where that goes in the general timeline. in my first book it’s an enemies to lovers so the conflict is front-loaded at the beginning, but something external happens to them towards the end that they have to overcome. so in that book, all of the scenes are building from them learning to get along, and falling in love, and then eventually overcoming this obstacle (this is really simplified discussion of this plot lol). in my second book, they’re best friends starting out, so it’s building up to them hooking up, then the process of them really falling in love, and then the misunderstanding/breakup and eventually the reunion and the [redacted really happy thing]. during this time there are obviously subplots, but i find it’s easier to string the subplots along when you have an idea of when the main big plot beats have to happen.

as i am filling in individual scenes, i like to jot a little note about what is going on in the scene in the header. so whether it’s brojobs or a hockey game in a particular city, i have that all in the little title. scrivener has a notes section for each “scene” where i can put any other details i want about the scene in there, and sometimes i will use that to a) put down what i want this scene to accomplish in the larger book, b) any dialogue or things i want to make sure i remember to include in the scene because a lot of the time, i get great ideas right when i’m falling asleep, or in the shower, or somewhere convenient and then i don’t remember if i don’t write them down. but you can also write this down in a separate document.

as for figuring out subplots, i come up with them based on what makes sense for the characters, whether that’s depression/addiction, helping out a rookie, or whatever.

for fantasy novels, the process is less rigid. i usually have to do some worldbuilding first, so that’s a separate document where i just jot down all of my thoughts about the world and how it’s constructed and why it works the way it does. sometimes i will write little “in world” texts to give myself a flavor of how people read or what their culture is like.

again, i come up with the beginning and end up split the book up into sections based on the main plot. so for example in one of my WIPs (and this is a VERY pared down version of what actually happens in this book haha), the first part is the road adventure where one of them is trying to take the other one back to [redacted] and the second guy is trying to escape or kill him, then they accidentally get soulbonded and the section is them learning to work together and trust, and then the third section is the betrayal and eventual rescue. then i fill in the scenes from there. i’ll be honest, some of it is based on vibes–what do i want to write? sometimes i get whole subplots purely because i think they sound like a blast to write (and that’s a bit thing about plotting for me–if it’s not fun and i’m not excited to write it…no one’s going to be excited to read it, either, so some big advice is if you’re really forcing something, it might be worth trying something else).

a lot of my plots come from knowing the characters really well. what situations would make them uncomfortable and react in certain ways? what situations would test or challenge their beliefs, either about the world or about themselves? what character can they fall in love with that would offer interesting conflicts?

so that’s basically my plotting and outlining process.

[tiptapricot]

New mando ep has put into perspective the intended goal of this season and in so many ways has been my favorite so far for the developments it gives and the path it’s setting up, however I’m still firm that the narrative choice to explore those thoughts has been unfocused and unbalanced, and could’ve been done so much better.

Some general ideas on how plot points thus far could’ve been better presented now that we actually finally know our story direction.

I’m enjoying Bo Katan’s story, I’m enjoying seeing more of the covert, I understand how the larger new republic politics are playing into the plot. But that can all have been done in tandem instead of feeling striated or shallow in places.

Din should’ve still had an active focus through line in this, scenes from his point of view or quiet moments with Grogu and the others as he reflects on his place and his responsibilities, as well as his recent redemption. While yes, the show does not have to be solely around him, when shifting character focus it has to be done in a way that tracks for that character and for the overall story. He does have more development to undergo, and developments he has experienced this season were rushed out of the way to get to everything else.

The bathing in the waters should’ve either taken longer or been given more lingering and poignant focus. The message of differing mandalorian beliefs as well as the true ruler storyline could’ve also been an active parallel or conversation with Bo, showing both of their conflicts and relationships to the future of Mandalorians and their culture. This wouldn’t have had to cut any of her stuff, but would’ve better melded the two and allowed for the hanging emotional threads for Din (and Grogu/their dynamic) that have just been passive and shallow in the background to have more of an active presence, even if he himself wasn’t aiming towards anything.

The general conflict between different mandalorian beliefs and cultures also should’ve been integrated differently. Both Paz and Bo and the CotW as a whole (we can somewhat assume) have experience with/knowledge of/a history with Death Watch, as well as the general past of Mandalorian civil wars, disputes, differing factions etc. and Bo meeting and joining the covert could’ve been the perfect space to bring up and explore that conflict.

The fact that her and Paz have not once talked about her history or his family is baffling to me, and this handling of that idea also would’ve laid the groundwork for the Armorer’s decision and understanding now of needing a united front, of coming together despite differences in creed and belief. Reflecting on that history of conflict would’ve strengthened the current need for unity, and also would have avoided making Bo’s history feel overlooked or downplayed. This also could’ve given us a better history for the CotW and how they grew.

Lastly, the imperial/new republic storyline should’ve been spread out wayyyy more and also had more care given to the political implications and parallels it has to real life. I honestly really don’t think we needed most of episode three still, or at least didn’t need it so condensed. Being a slow build would’ve better integrated it with the rest of the plot, and led to rising tension as we looked to see where it was leading. It would’ve set the groundwork for Gideon’s apparent escape, and along with the discussion of different mandalorian factions/mando history, would’ve set a precedent for those conflicting ways of going about things, as well as the Empire’s history in manipulating Mandalore’s politics. We still don’t know if Mandalorians actually broke out Gideon or if it’s a frame up, but it doesn’t really matter as both would relate to that same clashing core idea.

I’m also not one to speak on the worldbuilding of the new republic as far as what makes sense and what’s being messed up, as I’m not as deep into the larger Star Wars mythos, but I do believe more care should’ve been given to the presentation and implications of the amnesty program, like how Pershing is not and has not been an innocent, and framing him that way is disingenuous to his place in fascist genetic experimentation. Reform can happen, but there needs to be more nuance given, and the entire mini episode in ep 3 again should’ve been paced and presented much differently for overall story cohesion.

These are just my thoughts, I don’t hate the season but I do feel the writing quality has significantly gone down and I’m more enjoying it for character interactions and CotW/mando worldbuilding. These do include my personal preferences and expectations, but I think there’s something to be said for wishing a show better balanced it’s story threads, as it’s been done before in previous mando seasons, even with a more monster of the week approach, and I think we’re severely lacking it currently.

[ultimate-msleading-simp]

Maniac Ramblings of an Antimai Enjoyer

Hi hihHhii okay so. I (one of the ops of this account) did a sin called going on Twitter and doom scrolled for around 3 hours because I didn’t want to do my essay in like December last year. I have been seething for a month now with the Twitter’s cruelness to Antimai so I am now going to crucify myself in the name of Antimai. Or… here is my opinion/review of Antimai. BY NO MEANS IS THIS AN OFFICAL REVIEW!! (it's also barely peer read, it really is ramblings)

Basic rankings:

C - LoTown.

B - Poverty, Industry, Luxury and Nature.

A - Middle Class and Patrol.

S- Tower. 

The whole album opinion

Love this album. I’m one of the newbies to The Dear Hunter, so this was the first full album I listened to (maybe Act V first? I don’t remember). I thought it was incredibly groovy and I love the concert/brass instruments when done correctly - which it definitely was here! I love a mixture of genres, pace and themes in music too, Antimai hitting all of those boxes very nicely. One of my favourite things to think about for this album is the pronoun usage, but that is because I’m incredibly excited for Sunya and like to look to see what narrative could be transferred over to the next album. My overall rating? Like 9/10, I would never do my dishes without Antimai. It only loses one point because I can never escape Patrol. 

Ring 8 - Poverty 

Preface for all the other songs, Imma say they all SLAP me real good, love them, 10/10. Poverty, while I don’t find any absolute melting love for the lyrics alone, the way they are set up is honestly brain melting. I highly enjoy how the song flows, especially the chorus with the instrumental, some gnarly music mixin’ there and I tip the hat to the funny dear men for that one. The music alone however, is something to appreciate fully. I always thought the tone of the music did not match the tone of the lyrics and that was odd to me - am I mad about it? No :). I love how jazzy and involuntarily dancy the music is and I can’t help but do a lil boogie… even if I’m on the edge of a mental breakdown from having to read my fourth short story in 3 days!

Ring 7 - Industry 

Pretty whacky boy here. It gives a good idea of how important technology is to Antimai though - since there is a whole ring dedicated to industrial business. I am incredibly neutral on the actual sound of this song? I can say I do enjoy it when I listen to it, but I don’t always pull an experience from it like I do with some of the other tracks on this album. One thing I always remember is how much I love the delivery of the line “you were up in the pantheon,” it brings me joy and I don’t know why, let me live in brain rot I beg. This song lore wise is very important for setting up the rest of the album. Middle class, Patrol and Luxury wouldn’t have the same level of understanding if we lacked Industry. In conclusion on this one since my thoughts on it is clearly a disorganised mess, I think it has a very nice sound to it, still down to get funky with the sound and it’s a doormat for the rest of the album to welcome you in. 

Ring 6 - LoTown  

My least favourite out of the whole album. Doesn’t mean I hate it, just kinda?? Wow?? Farm people?? Epic?? Slammin trumpets though and the held note at the end is executed immaculately. I am obviously a biassed person and I’ll admit I have a slight bias against slower songs - that could be why it is marked so low in my mind. One kudo I will give to this song is the build-up and release between verses-chorus, always makes a song so much more enjoyable when some dynamic spice is added.

Ring 5 - Middle Class

I love this song to death, I have one gripe with it. It scares the ever living shit out of me whenever it randomly comes on when I have shuffle on. This song is a fresh ass gold mine when it comes to analysing lyrics. Almost all of the lyrics in this song have double meanings and important shards of lore that we need to put together to truly uncover what Antimai is. For literal, in world meanings, the Middle Class lets us see into the culture of Antimai directly; we get insight on how the religion functions in practice, the exploitation of it and the labour of all the people below Ring 5. For the double meaning and reflection on the real world, it can apply to a lot of the middle class people who are living in some form of comfortable privilege. The music to the song is also just a full jam session so it’s always a funky little time when that part comes around, love the grooves!!

Ring 4 - Patrol 

If I could meet God face to face, full eye contact I would ask one thing only. To be freed of the beginning riff of this accursed song. I could be in full meltdown sobbing time and this stupid song comes on and I feel the scraps of amusement I can muster taking over my body in the form of the happiest disappointment. Most people feel it is a very “slap you in the face” type of song. The lyrical meanings are literally thrown at your feet, and it’s not much of a analytical exercise in regards to theme, but I forgive it because I feel as though I’m in a 80s-90s mall and the damn mall cop is following me around because I have the audacity to wear a backpack into Winners or something. The song does however finally introduce one of the biggest themes of Antimai - which is p o w e r !!!! and subsequently, the power of power (in regards to corruption). I think using an officer going down this path as the literary tool to display this is a smart move - especially in the language switch between choruses. While this individual has gained power, they also lost their identity, only referring to themself as “we” towards the end. Great song, love that stupid melody even if it does haunt me when I’m trying to focus in my grown up college classes.  

Ring 3 - Luxury 

The absolute unit of this song. The power it holds in single handedly parting this fandom like its the red sea. I am on the side of … it’s alright? I can slightly agree with a lot of the people not enjoying the first part of luxury (Hall of the Guides?? I guess?). I however, think a fast paced, word vomiting verse is very fitting for the people Casey is trying to show us. These people (more like… gross “not snails or robots” things)... are horrible, they have no regard for the safety of the people below them. A rap is perfect for a type of meeting between people who plan to dilute themselves further into a greedy madness - any other type of genre would feel too slow or soft. To me the chorus of the first part also slaps hard and I wanna boogie to it. The second part is where things look up in my opinion. I love the smoothness that contrasts the first part - while still egotistical and straight discriminatory towards the lower classes, it presents itself differently; The way the lyrics are sung almost remind me of how the lyrics in Tower seem to flow into each other. Personally I have not analysed The Cream of the Crop too much lyrically, I just really love that one small part just before the outro cha-cha slide like imposter… I can’t help but feel like I have my head out of a window, moving at rapid speeds and going somewhere!! Where?? IDK!! The lyrics tell me not to!! (Add-on, also interesting at the use of very aggressive cussing?? The dear boys don’t use that language too often in the music, so it’s a little important to show how these not snail or robot things just really suck ass.)    

Ring 2 - Nature

oooOOoohoh talking treeesssss,,.,. I do love this song though. It is short and sweet compared to the unit of the last song, but it tells the story it needs to tell. This one I’m focusing more on the tone of music and the thematic importance of this song. Nature definitely really fits the theme it laid down for itself. The music feels like I’m in a forest or some prairie type setting and a feeling of belonging and harmony (especially at the beginning), it’s just a cozy song! The theme is the key importance to this song however, explaining the nature of humans and how we exploit resources for unjustified reasons. I argue this song is very peaceful for the most part, but I swear this song hosts the most menacing line to ever exist. The outro is very well done, but the lyrics and how they are sung feels definitely like there is a horrible, ominous presence above them - and it will hurt you. IT IS NOT NO WORRIES AND THERE IS NO LAUGHTER. Considering what bitch we’re about to be introduced to, I say it’s a good vibe to end it on.  

Ring 1 - Tower

So when I first listened to Tower on July like… fourth, I have been consumed. My immediate impression was that this lil rich kid singing to me right now was trying to be a Regina George wannabe and writing his unchecked power high in his dream diary with a pink gel pen with a fuzzy pom-pom on the end of the pen, probably owns some rare monster high collectable dolls or something. I am incredibly biassed when it comes to loving this song - I am weak in the knees to queer coded villains and this man was oozing and dripping LGBTQIA+ vibes - while simultaneously seeming like the biggest homophobe ever - I beg of you to relisten to Tower with the lens of queer, no one says power like that who isn’t into BDSM. Moving on past bashing the emperor of Antimai viciously, the song itself is important thematically - as well as the way the song sounds. Tower is already a song built off of an important motif from The Indigo Child - which already makes me think we have an argument behind the abuse of religion and the abandoning (?? in some places ??) of religion (in some people) back to either this current Emperor or others before him (I am referencing verse 3 mostly). I also see this song as a slight foil to other songs, as mentioned in a review done by another person (James Fenny) It has a very different sound than the rest of them. The other songs use brass and concert instruments as the main sound, while Tower is almost solely based in synths - excluding the outro. It could not be important to any overall story, but I do think that fact is quite neat and it makes me love Tower a little more… it stands out musically and literally.

[elyvorg]

A Friend, Locked Up: post-fic plot summary

This is a bit of a companion post for one of my Great Ace Attorney fics, following up on how the rest of the story in that AU would differ from canon after the point where the fic ended. Spoilers for the game, of course! (and I guess the fic too, kinda but actually not really?)

The fic ended before reaching Kazuma’s trial itself, because trials aren’t as engaging in prose form and the real emotional climax of the narrative was when Kazuma’s friends choose to believe in him. I imagine readers can take it as a given that of course Ryunosuke successfully manages to defend his friend, and then the Professor case still comes up and that part goes similarly to in canon.

But I did have some thoughts anyway about how Kazuma’s trial might hypothetically go if this were in the actual game (like it should have been, grr), which I eventually managed to piece together into a full thing. So while I won’t write this as a fic, here’s a summarised outline for anyone who’s interested!

Trial start

-      Van Zieks is prosecuting, naturally – he gave it some thought like he promised Ryunosuke he would and decided to take the case. Partly this is out of wanting to be the one to take Kazuma down if he really is such a terrible monster like his father totally was (…right?). But in part it’s also because van Zieks has grown willing to entertain the possibility that Ryunosuke might be right to trust his friend, and so he wants to ensure the case is handled honourably and without corruption. He suspects that any other prosecutor assigned to it may not do that.

-      (Stronghart is cool with van Zieks handling the case, even though it’s probably a bit questionable for the previous defendant to do so, because he assumes van Zieks will happily charge in and destroy Kazuma for him without mercy, just like Kazuma tried to do in reverse. He does not realise that van Zieks has begun to soften up and doubt his hatred.)

-      Stronghart is of course still the judge, and he makes the same declaration at the beginning of “we will stop at nothing to uncover the whole truth” that he does in canon.

-      The prosecution’s opening statement includes confirming the blood and bullet hole found at the crime scene, presenting a photo that clearly shows said bullet hole in the wall.

-      Van Zieks also presents a pile of Japanese clothes belonging to Jigoku that were found in the cabin, and a particular loose button among them that wasn’t matched to any of the clothes. Investigators later matched the button to the cuff on Kazuma’s outfit, which is indeed missing a button. This is proof that it was pulled off during some kind of struggle in that room, and therefore that Kazuma did more than just swing a sword at a trunk.

-      This tracks with what Ryunosuke knows – Kazuma admitted he struggled with Gregson over the gun despite not shooting him with it – but it sure doesn’t help him look good.

-      Ryunosuke feels kind of odd about the missing button on Kazuma’s cuff but can’t put his finger on why. He noticed it wasn’t there when visiting him in prison yesterday too, but…

-      As Ryunosuke rightly pointed out at the end of van Zieks’s trial, the main big mystery that the prosecution needs to answer here is how Kazuma could have moved the body from the SS Grouse back to London without being discovered. The only person whose luggage wasn’t searched when disembarking the ship at Dover was Jigoku. And a trunk that looks exactly like Jigoku’s, containing bloodstains on the inside, was recently found dumped in the Thames.

Testimony 1

-      So, Jigoku is called to testify. He claims that the trunk found in the Thames is not his; it just happens to be an identical model, because he bought his trunk in London during his time here ten years ago and the same kind are still sold today. (It’s actually quite plausible that Jigoku might have bought his person-sized trunk in London last time, since he must have been planning to smuggle Genshin home somehow!)

-      The prosecution claims that Kazuma purchased a trunk identical to Jigoku’s and brought it with him to Dunkirk that day. Conveniently Gregson is dead and none of the ship’s staff are available as witnesses because the Grouse had to set sail again, so nobody can refute this.

-      The argument is that Kazuma put Gregson’s body in this trunk after killing him, froze it in the ship’s refrigerator overnight, then secretly switched it with Jigoku’s trunk shortly before the luggage check to get it past customs without it being searched. He then must have switched them back sometime after.

-      Jigoku’s testimony confirms that his trunk was being handled by staff out of his sight enough times between Dover and his hotel room for the swaps to have been possible without him being aware of it.

-      Ryunosuke’s first line of attack during his cross-examination is to point out the pile of Jigoku’s clothes found on the floor of his cabin. This strongly suggests they were removed to make space for the body in Jigoku’s actual trunk, and so there’s no way Jigoku couldn’t have known.

-      Jigoku gives an excuse that, nah, he just left them on the ship because he wasn’t going to need Japanese clothes in England, and he’s rich enough that he can just buy more. The fact that he removed them doesn’t prove he had sinister motives in doing so.

-      Ryunosuke then brings up that this means his trunk would have been rather light, and so he would have noticed an obvious discrepancy in weight between his own trunk and the one containing Gregson’s body. Jigoku is forced to claim that he did indeed never notice such a thing – but the first time he had to carry the trunk himself after arriving in Britain was upon reaching the hotel. This narrows down when Kazuma supposedly switched the trunks back: Jigoku must have had his own trunk with him again by the time he was at the hotel.

-      Then, this is what we can use the photo of the group at the hotel for in this version of the story! Let me make a minor retroactive edit to canon: the trunk in the photo always had a distinctively-shaped scuff mark visible on one edge. The same scuff mark can also be seen by examining the bloodied trunk that was found in the Thames. Thus, Ryunosuke can prove that the trunk used to transport Gregson’s body must have been Jigoku’s own trunk that was with him the whole time, and the alleged switching never happened at all.

-      Van Zieks presented this whole line of argument about the supposed switched trunks only because Stronghart ordered him to. He was always suspicious about its legitimacy and is quite happy for Ryunosuke to have shot it down. He is here to uncover all the corruption going on in this case, Jigoku’s and all.

-      At this point, Stronghart demands that Ryunosuke present some kind of proof as to why Jigoku would have ever let himself have any involvement in this crime, and Ryunosuke is forced to present the exchange assassination contract to establish Jigoku’s connection to Gregson’s murder. He's a little hesitant to do that, because it does also make Kazuma look considerably worse, but he does it anyway. It’s the truth.

-      Jigoku has no choice but to admit that he knowingly partook in moving the body. That’s all he’s confessing to, however. He still maintains that Kazuma did the actual murder.

Testimony 2

-      Now that he has nothing left to lose, Jigoku claims that he personally witnessed Kazuma killing Gregson, through a small hole in the cabin door as he was arriving back at his cabin. Kazuma then supposedly confronted Jigoku in the doorway and blackmailed him – with the assassination contract – into moving the body for him, hence Jigoku’s excuse for why he didn’t bring this up until now.

-      There is indeed a small hole of some kind in the cabin door that Jigoku could have seen things through; it’s visible in the crime scene photo shown earlier. The police weren’t sure what made it but didn’t have enough time to investigate it further beyond concluding that it wasn’t relevant to the case.

-      Part of Jigoku’s testimony mentions blood splattering over Kazuma when he shot Gregson at point blank range. (This is almost certainly a detail Jigoku only included because he vividly recalls it happening when he shot Gregson.) Pressing elsewhere in his testimony gets Jigoku to specify that the outfit Kazuma was wearing that day was the same white one he’s wearing now.

-      There’s no evidence to present to this, but Ryunosuke and Susato figure out that they can use the jury-style tactic of pitting one statement against another. Jigoku’s contradicting himself – blood can’t have splattered over Kazuma’s white clothes without being obviously visible afterwards.

-      Jigoku argues that maybe Kazuma had a spare of the white outfit that he brought with him and changed into afterwards while dumping the bloody one in the sea. Van Zieks of all people objects to refute this, vouching that the outfit used to belong to his brother and is one-of-a-kind.

-      Jigoku frantically backpedals, claiming that, well, okay, maybe he misremembered the clothes Kazuma was wearing and it was actually some other outfit he wore during the murder. Conveniently there’s nobody else around to testify and confirm he was wearing the white outfit that day, right?

-      At this, Ryunosuke can object and bring up the loose button from Kazuma’s cuff that was found in the cabin, pulled off during the struggle with Gregson. Proof that Kazuma really was wearing the white clothes at the scene!

-      In response, Jigoku accidentally blurts out something like, “But that wasn’t when it was pulled off…!” and then stops himself when he realises what he just said.

-      Kazuma picks up on what this is implying and mentions that there was one point during his questioning when one of the police officers got somewhat rough with him and grabbed his arm. It’s possible that the button could have been pulled off his cuff then and planted in the pile of Jigoku’s clothes to incriminate him. And Jigoku’s slip of the tongue basically just confirmed that this is indeed what happened. Oops.

-      Jigoku claims that this is only something he overheard the officers talking about and totally wasn’t involved in himself, and he points the blame for the fabrication at van Zieks. Van Zieks – who of course had no idea about this and is furious – argues that if he was trying to illegitimately frame Kazuma then he would hardly have helped the defence’s case just now by volunteering the fact about the clothes being one-of-a-kind.

-      Still, as much of a mess as this is, the fact that evidence was fabricated to frame Kazuma doesn’t actually prove his innocence, nor does knowing about this necessarily prove Jigoku’s guilt. While a regular judge would be more likely to err on the side of innocence since the fabrication introduced doubt (this is basically what happened with McGilded), the judge here is Stronghart. He is not about to let Kazuma off based on anything short of explicit proof he didn’t do it. Kazuma was still there at the scene and has admitted to his struggle with the victim, and, since the button was not in fact indicative of the clothes he was wearing at the time, Jigoku’s testimony that he saw Kazuma pull the trigger and get splattered with blood still holds.

-      Just then, with things looking dire and Ryunosuke and Susato at a loss for what else to do… suddenly there’s a meowing sound. This trial happens to be taking place in the one courtroom in the Old Bailey that has a cat flap in the door, and in wanders Wagahai, wearing a cute Iris-made kitty backpack.

-      Inside it is a photograph of… the door to the cabin on the Grouse. Just that, nothing else. On the back, there’s a note in Sholmes’s handwriting, reading: I took this after your second call that day. Many thanks to Miss Susato for the inspiration.

-      Susato is confused for a moment – she didn’t ask Sholmes to do anything in particular that day while he was on the ship – until it hits her. And she falls silent, evasive, too seized by sudden guilt to voice what she’s realised, leaving Ryunosuke to figure it out himself.

-      The cabin door in this photo doesn’t have a hole in it. And yet it was taken when Sholmes was there, long after the murder. The hole that Jigoku supposedly witnessed the murder through must have been added illegally by the investigating police, working with Jigoku, to allow the possibility of condemning Kazuma through testimony if need be. But Jigoku couldn’t possibly have seen what he claims he saw – and the only reason he would lie about that is if he was Gregson’s true killer.

-      (Sholmes only thought of taking this photo as a precaution because of what Susato did with the peephole to trap the criminal in 1-5. Susato’s brilliance there helped save Kazuma here! And this time it didn’t require any accidental tampering with the crime scene on our friends’ part.)

The rest

-      So Jigoku breaks down and confesses, including to the part where the exchange mastermind created a phony Reaper mission to give him the chance to kill Gregson.

-      Kazuma is officially declared not guilty. But just as Stronghart is about to adjourn the court, Kazuma himself objects to this, insisting that the trial cannot end here. Jigoku’s confession gave him exactly the proof he needed that the exchange mastermind and the Reaper are the same person, and he’s determined to use that to finally solve his father’s case, here and now, before things can be swept under the rug. The previous trial for Gregson’s murder originally set out to also be about confirming the identity of the Reaper after all these years; surely it would be premature to close the case without answering that?

-      Initially, Stronghart doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. However, once Kazuma and Ryunosuke explain why the Reaper has to be the man who ordered Klint’s autopsy to be forged, and van Zieks confirms that this had nothing to do with him and it must have been Stronghart, of course Stronghart tries to shut things down and insist the Professor case is closed.

-      Enter Sholmes, with the same part as in canon where he reminds the court of Stronghart’s “stop at nothing to uncover the whole truth” claim at the beginning, and the judiciary demands the trial continue.

-      Van Zieks is somewhat conflicted about this – one the one hand he’s glad for a chance to put paid to the rumour that he’s the Reaper once and for all, but on the other he’s not thrilled to revisit the Professor case – but nonetheless he agrees to pursue this supplementary hearing alongside the defence. He asks for a brief recess first, even though Mikotoba is right here, to help him prepare the details of the case.

-      As they return to the antechamber, while Susato is congratulating Kazuma on his acquittal, Ryunosuke is just beaming with joy and relief… and he goes and gives Kazuma a big hug.

-      Kazuma is stunned for a moment, but then he leans in and hugs back, tight. All he says is, “Thank you,” leaving it ambiguous whether it’s thanks for the defence, for the hug, or just… for everything. (It’s for everything.)

-      After pulling away, Ryunosuke sheepishly mumbles that he’s sorry, it’s just that he’s been meaning to do this for a while and…

-      Kazuma just chuckles and says, “What are you apologising for?”

-      Kazuma tells Ryunosuke that he’s leaving everything to him, trusting in him to find the whole truth of his father’s case. Ryunosuke is bewildered that Kazuma’s talking like he won’t be there himself – but Kazuma, as much as he hates it, has resigned himself to the fact that he won’t be allowed to. He’s merely a recently-acquitted defendant who (especially after his disgraceful showing the last time he prosecuted) has no right to stand in court for this.

-      Right then, van Zieks walks in with the words, “What are you talking about?” Kazuma’s still his apprentice and judicial assistant, and while van Zieks doesn’t exactly like him yet, he knows that Kazuma of all people has just as much right to play a part in seeing the Professor case through to the end as anyone. Stronghart might object, but as the lead prosecutor, van Zieks has the final say in who stands at his bench alongside him, and he’s choosing to have Kazuma there. (This is the real reason he called the recess – so he could do this.)

-      Kazuma still doesn’t really like van Zieks yet either, but he understands exactly how much of a big deal this offer is, coming from him, and accepts it with deepest gratitude.

-      The rest then goes basically the same as the Professor part of the final trial in canon, except without any of the bits where Kazuma is still hating and trying to blame van Zieks, since he got over that earlier in this AU. And in this version, both of them are standing at the prosecutor’s bench together!

-      (Okay, but this might actually end up making the bits where van Zieks breaks down over Klint look a little awkward, if he’s doing that at the prosecutor’s bench while Kazuma’s just standing there next to him. Maybe he moves to the witness stand at some point to testify about details relating to his brother, since this is a special trial and he’s not technically prosecuting anybody? I dunno.)

The end

-      Kazuma still has to be reprimanded for his error in overlooking the missing bullet in van Zieks’s trial, but van Zieks, as his superior, takes responsibility for deciding that punishment. He chooses something suitably laborious and unpleasant such as, I don’t know, having to clean out his office’s bat nook every week, perhaps. Something that registers as a punishment to appease anyone who might argue that Kazuma is getting off too easy, and yet that doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on Kazuma’s standing and progress as an apprentice prosecutor.

-      After all, van Zieks knows that Kazuma has learned from his mistake already. And he himself is guilty of making a similar kind of grave oversight in his own very first case due to being blinded by a desire for revenge, so it’d be hypocritical of him to think less of Kazuma’s prosecutorial skills because of something like this.

-      During the scene at Dover, Kazuma still asks Ryunosuke to hold onto Karuma for him. Instead of confessing to his murderous intent (because he already did that in prison), Kazuma admits that the thing that snapped him out of it was being reminded of Ryunosuke. Ryunosuke saved him three times over – from killing Gregson, from wrongly convicting van Zieks, and in his trial. He’ll never be able to thank his friend enough.

-      Kazuma says he’s been thinking a lot about how to move forward and, thanks to this, has come to the realisation that what he needs most is to not be alone, and to have people he can trust by his side. Since Ryunosuke’s leaving, he mentions that he’s thinking of asking if he can stay with Sholmes and Iris, if they’d have him.

-      Ryunosuke hears this and immediately goes all, “Well, why don’t we ask them right now?” He cheerfully switches to English to call over to them, asking if Kazuma can stay with them. Kazuma is awkward and flustered and was not ready to have this conversation just yet (he is good at putting off Difficult Conversations) but can’t exactly complain either because he did just say he wanted this. Sholmes and Iris of course are thrilled to welcome him to Baker Street and get to know him better. It was going to be so quiet and lonely in the flat with Runo and Susie gone, but not if Kazzy comes to stay instead! Kazuma is faintly bewildered and more than a little moved by this.

-      And most importantly, Ryunosuke and Kazuma hug again as they’re saying goodbye, because I SAY SO and they SHOULD HAVE DONE in canon. I don’t care how difficult hugs are to animate, this is IMPORTANT. They still do the sword-crossing thing too, of course, that was also good, but HUGS. They are FRIENDS.

[imakemywings]

This is the first installation of my new segment A+ Library, where I review books with asexual and/or aromantic characters. This one is about The Circus Infinite by Khan Wong. The book description is:

Hunted by those who want to study his gravity powers, Jes makes his way to the best place for a mixed-species fugitive to blend in: the pleasure moon. Here, everyone just wants to be lost in the party. It doesn’t take long for him to catch the attention of the crime boss who owns the resort-casino where he lands a circus job. When the boss gets wind of the bounty on Jes’ head, he makes an offer: do anything and everything asked of him, or face vivisection. With no other options, Jes fulfills the requests: espionage, torture, demolition. But when the boss sets the circus up to take the fall for his about-to-get-busted narcotics operation, Jes and his friends decide to bring the mobster down together. And if Jes can also avoid going back to being the prize subject of a scientist who can’t wait to dissect him? Even better.

The character: Jes, panromantic asexual

TL;DR: A disappointed thumbs down

My general experience with media that sells itself on representation is that it often falls flat, like the creator was so excited about putting the representation they wanted to see into the world they forgot that they needed to also tell a story, or assumed that anyone engaging with their story would be so hungry for that representation that they would be remarkably forgiving of slapdash plots and flat characters. I think these are usually put out with good faith, they're just often very mediocre entertainment.

Nevertheless, (although I had a lot of fun) going to Pride last month reminded me uncomfortably of how lonely being asexual can be, even amidst other queer people, so I sought out some books that centered asexual and/or aromantic characters, and the first of these I've set down to read was this one.

Because Jes' asexuality is not a focus of the novel, I'm breaking this review into two parts: the representation of asexuality, and the rest.

Asexual Representation

Jes is a sex-repulsed asexual young man who enters into a romantic relationship with Bo, one of the clowns/acrobats at the circus where Jes takes up work at the start of the novel. Iirc by my calculations Jes is roughly 20 years old.

First off, it was honestly delightful to read a story that centered an asexual character. I don't think it's an experience I've ever had. Most often characters are only interpretable as asexual and most often it's villain or a one-off line from a side character. Jes' asexuality and his romance with Bo is not the main storyline—I would argue tertiary at most—but it is still present throughout the novel.

Jes is in a particularly awkward position as an empath, because he can quite literally feel people around him being horny, which is a remarkably uncomfortable place to be for him. However, it also puts him in the position of being "safe" in certain circumstances—other empaths may seek him out because they can feel that he lacks any sexual ulterior motives while talking to them. It's the first time I ever saw asexuality presented as not just a neutral, non-negative, but a helpful or beneficial state of being. ​

For these reasons I understand why the author wanted to be very explicit about Jes' sexuality. Nevertheless, reading any SFF novel where the characters describe themselves with intensely contemporary terms is a bit jarring. Hearing Jes throw around terms like "ace" and "asexual panromantic" definitely yanked at my focus on the story, but other people may be less bothered by that (the use of "gaslighting" elsewhere in the narrative was definitely not necessary and also, once again, incorrect).

There were times when I felt that Jes' reaction to being exposed to sexuality was overblown, but he's also a young person, at an age when most of us are inclined to put ourselves first, so on reflection I think it actual tracks with Jes' character that he prioritizes his own discomfort over whether or not his response is reasonable (for instance, immediately leaving the room after learning that Bo had previously had a sexual relationship with another cast member).

Jes and Bo's romance was sweet, if underdeveloped. For the first time perhaps ever I found myself wishing the romance was a larger part of the plot! There's a meet cute, and Jes is upfront with Bo from the very beginning about being asexual. This is important because Bo is not asexual, a decision I actually quite appreciated, both because it was a refutation of the idea that asexuals and allosexuals can never enter into a mutually fulfilling relationship, and because it displays a spectrum even within allosexuality. Bo is allo, but by his own admission has a low libido and often prefers to masturbate rather than engage even with someone he's attracted to. Jes has some angst about this, but Bo never expresses any resentment or dissatisfaction with their relationship and he is always respectful of Jes' boundaries.

Which brings Jes' background into it. Jes (this is no spoiler, it's on the back cover) from early adolescence until the start of the novel, was a human experiment. It would have been easy for a less focused author to posit Jes' asexuality as a product of this trauma (which may be another reason the author wanted to introduce the concept well before Jes becomes property of the Institute) which could be loved away by Bo, but that is not the case here. The author very cleanly delineates between Jes' growing comfort generally with physical contact, something he has not had much of in his life but grows to enjoy from his friends, and his asexuality, which never changes. Jes may grow comfortable and even desire cuddling and holding hands with Bo, but he's never interested in more.

Their physical relationship progresses at what I imagine feels like a glacial pace to allosexual readers, but it felt very real from an ace perspective, particularly for an ace of Jes' difficult background, where even small gestures like kisses on the cheek initially feel like a huge deal to him. When he hasn't been allowed to set boundaries in so long, it makes sense that they are initially very strict.

Ultimately, I enjoyed this representation of asexuality. I would have liked to dig more into Jes' feelings for Bo, which seem rather shallow and undefined (WHY is Jes into Bo? We don't really know.), but on the whole it was pleasing to read.

The Rest

The rest of the novel, unfortunately, is very uneven in quality. The author provides some truly magical descriptions of some of the artistic and spiritual phenomena that take place in the story, but most often the writing comes across with a very blunt, young-adult-novel feel, even though this is not a YA novel. We're often rushed through what feel like very significant events, and three big plot threads hit so rapidly and unconnetedly at the end that by the time you get to the last and most significant of them, it's hard to care anymore.

It does something which particularly annoys me, which is when an author tries to erase any and all ambiguity in the story. Every character speaks in a remarkably precise, self-aware way (and they all speak in the exact same style, despite the vast differences in background and upbringing of many of them) as if the author is terrified that a single reader might not understand or might interpret a scene or interaction differently than they intended. It crosses into therapyspeak.

This flat, explicit method of storytelling comes off in the prose as well, so that I found most of the emotional beats simply did not land for me; they felt very empty. This paired poorly with the sanctimonious tone the story takes on at times, when it is so obviously keen to impart a Morally Correct View on the reader (not that that position is even wrong or debatable--but it came off a bit Sunday school-lesson-ish here) and show that all its characters are Unproblemat.

And call me cynical, but I'm getting very worn out of found family as a trope. I understand why it hits so hard for queer people especially, but so many stories do not pull it off in a way that feels natural or justified. That's the case here, where Jes essentially insta-befriends anyone who's a "good" character, and essentially drops right into a premade found family. I know this is comforting to other readers, but for me it came off hokey.

There were a couple exceptions though, and I do appreciate this: not everyone Jes is suspicious of turns out to actually be a bad guy. To often we laude our sense of intuition, because we all like to think we can simply tell who's a good person and who's not. This attitude leads to disbelief when someone you liked turns out to have done troubling things, or unwarranted suspicion towards someone who hasn't actually done anything wrong. So while Jes' intuition does guide him pretty significantly throughout the novel, I did appreciate these instances of him being proved wrong.

As noted, the plot can feel rushed at times, and the pacing of the ending chapters in particular felt all over the place. The final encounter came well after the denouement of what felt like the "main" plot such that I was checked out and ready to get to the happily ever after screen when it came about. It felt like it happened just because the author felt it needed to (can't have loose ends, not in this story!) and also because they could not think of another way to push Jes into a bad enough headspace to do what he does at the end.

On a final SFF-specific note, I think this novel also suffered from character exposition about various alien races, cultures, and customs. It's only interesting so many times to hear another alien describe their lifestyle like a high school social studies textbook.

Altogether, this was a relatively enjoyable, deeply forgettable novel. If it weren't for Jes' asexuality it would get a thumbs down from me because there's simply not enough good there to recommend. This author with a LOT more polish could maybe put out something worthwhile, but this was not that.

Next review: Loveless by Alice Oseman

[georgi-girl]

Babble: Track Ten

I look inside myself and see my heart is black,

I see my red door; I must have it painted black.

Maybe then I’ll fade away and not have to face the facts.

It’s not easy facing up when your whole world is black.

@@@@

The Chief Chef sat in the dark, her wounds slowly healing. From the dark, two voices spoke to her. (author's note; I imagine the human version of Chef to look like Mrs. Tweedy from Chicken Run.)

"I can fix this. I swear I can."

"You will stay here and rest."

He turned, unseen, to another unseen figure.

"Kryptos. Go check on them."

@@@@

Species turned his camera on himself and Miguel with their arms slung around each other.

“Hello Again! Here I am with my wonderful boyfriend Miguel! Say Hi Miguel!”

“Hi!!!” Miguel waved with his free hand.

“I’m back in the clinic this time surrounded by buddies. My stuff was brought in, courtesy of our friend Jack who’s off talking to our other friend Zodiac. That’s a fun name pairing: Jack and Zodiac.”

"Pretty crazy pairing. One's an actual Winter spirit and the other is some kind of... super fusion."

@@@@

Riley hung out with Tone as night fell. Zodiac had used transmutation to make Tone a fancy, satiny-soft dress. All the emotions watched her twirl around in it.

"Soooooo cute." Joy whispered.

The Bergens tried to break back into the clinic.

Tone took a deep breath and held it. An outlier surfaced; a strongly built, red-haired, yellow-skinned man. He walked in front of Riley, telling her; “You might want to cover your ears…” Then he let out a crazy loud yodel that ended in a high note that blasted away their pursuers.

The man cracked his neck. Riley squeed. “That was awesome!” She smiled at him. “You’re awesome!” The man smiled back.

@@@@

Species and the Yodel Aspect hit it off surprisingly well.

“People think all yodeling sounds the same. But it doesn’t!”

“We know how you feel,” Species sat across from him, “People read a couple fairytales and think they’re an expert on wolves.”

Yodel gave him a confused look. “What’s a fairytale?”

@@@@

Riley helped Zodiac lock all the doors to the outside. Rily was still frazzled by what happened last night. But she couldn't sense anything negative from Zodiac now. They just rambled on about how cool the Trolls were.

"They're delightful. Don't get us wrong, you guy/gals are delightful too. But the trolls are delightful in a way that's unique unto them. They have this Aura of Desirability that we haven't seen before."

"Yeah..." said Riley. "By the way, Tone and Species were technically 'put together' the same way. Is it just me or is Species kinda..."

“Oh yeah, we noticed too. With Species, the memories and personalities are all blended together like a delicious soup. But with Tone, the personalities remain separate. Like chestnuts in water. Like peanuts in coke. They sometimes bump into each other, but they don’t really mix. Kind of like having multiple personalities. If having multiple personalities was an actual thing.”

“Why is that do you think?”

“It might be because there’s so many. But judging by what you told us from your dream. It seems the different species don’t get along. So, they could be subconsciously avoiding each other even while they share a body.”

“We should try talking to them,” Riley said, “Show them how to get along.”

“You think we two beige saviors should tell a bunch of distinct cultures that their way of thinking is wrong? That narrative never works out in real life.”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

Zodiac patted her back. “For now, we’re going to focus on keeping them physically safe. They can work out their interpersonal issues on their own.” 

@@@@

Species couldn't believe it.

“So, you know what sushi is…”

“It’s raw fish prepared with rice.”

“And you know what a synthesizer is.”

“It’s an electric instrument used by lesser tribes.”

“You know about actual fairies…”

“They’re magical creatures with bug wings.”

“But you don’t have fairytales????”

“Why name an entire story genre after one species? That seems so offensive!”

“Offensive? Let me tell you, calling someone else ‘lesser’ is—”

That was when Zodiac came in. “How’s it going Studs?”

They flirtatiously poked both guys in the butt. Yodel let out a surprised squeak and Species entire face flushed.

"Your human cuties want to talk to you."

@@@@

Tone tried to explain her feelings to Species.

“When I’m around Riley,” she poked the space under her belly button, “it feels warm right here. I’m nervous to see her but also excited to see her. It’s all kinds of happy stimming.”

Meanwhile Riley and Miguel were having a similar talk in the kitchen.

“I relate to her. She’s an empath, I’m an empath. She’s going through a lot, I’ve been through a lot. I want to help her through this, show her the ropes… maybe get her a nice gift.”

Miguel nodded sagely. “You’re in love. Have a drink.”

@@@@

How about you? What’s your story?

“I’m mostly here for Pitch. He kidnapped my boss, put my girlfriend in a coma, trapped one of my friends underground, and my other friend is doing all their jobs until I can free them.”

Everyone's eyes widened, even Zodiac's. "Oh wow..."

Jack nodded. "Yep. Good times.

@@@@

[brolicarmydjschool]

Hip Hop: Culture Or Commodity

It’s 2023. We’ve entered the 50th year of hip-hop culture.

Or have we? Is it more appropriate to say, “We’ve entered the 50th year of hip-hop commodity?”

Like many of you, since childhood, I’ve embraced the narrative that DJing, MCing, breaking and graffiti were born out of the tenets of peace, love, unity and having fun.

But, today, as a grown man who’s well-read, who has cultivated the power of discernment, and who thinks his own thoughts, I question if that old narrative was merely a marketing strategy; one which was sold to me, and that I “bought,” as a young, impressionable kid, growing up in Queens, NY.

I raise this question, because much of the culture today, while designed to look authentic, seems to merely be an aspect of one, or another, marketing strategy.

Let me explain what I mean, via my own story:

I was born on May 14, 1972. I’m one year older than the culture. Of course, I wasn’t there, watching Kool Herc at the first “Back To School Jam,” on Sedgwick Ave in the Bronx, on August 11, 1973.

But thanks to my older brother, John, by the age of 5, my hip-hop education had begun. Granted, what I was learning about through my bro’s tutelage actually had no name in 1977. It was just this thing some of us called “Getting Down,” or “Going Off,” or “Jamming.”

But, in fact, it was an art renaissance, taking place in the Bronx, and spilling over into the surrounding boroughs of Queens, Brooklyn, and Manhattan.

By 1979, at age 7, I was all in.

“Robert: You hear that sound? Ziggaziggazigga? That’s GrandWizzard Theodore scratching the record. Papi doesn’t get back from work for another couple of hours. Let’s turn on his turntables so I can teach you how to scratch before he gets home.”

Or “Robert, I’m taking you with me to Saint Joan of Arc Church. The head priest is gonna let us break inside their recreation room.”

I was learning about this creative phenomenon, exclusive to New York, taking place inside my city, my community, my neighborhood, and with my friends.

Thanks to programs like HOT TRACKS — which played music videos from artists like RUN DMC and Malcolm McClaren feat. The World’s Famous Supreme Team — by 1982, the rest of America got exposed. People outside of NYC began seeing the faces and hearing the voices of my ghetto heroes.

“Ghetto,” because Kool Herc, Grandmaster Flash, GrandWizzard Theodore, Grand Mixer DST, Tony Tone, Charlie Chase, etc., didn’t look like the Six Million Dollar Man or the Lone Ranger. They looked like my brother. They looked like my brother’s friends. They looked like my friends. They looked like my family — people who lived in a one-bedroom, tenement building apartment, infested with mice and roaches. They looked like me!

By 1983, documentaries like Style Wars aired on PBS. The news media began to chronicle what inner-city Black and Latino kids were doing — DJing, rapping, breaking, graffiti — on any given NYC block. The film industry was even intrigued: Movies like Wild Style and Beat Street were made available for people to experience inside air-conditioned, downtown theaters. This was far away from the warzone, benign-neglect aesthetic of hip-hop’s epicenter, The Bronx, NY.

They even had a name for it, by now. They were calling the union of these four forces, “hip-hop.” This thing that low-income, underprivileged youth had created as an alternative to crime and violence — gangs ran NYC during the 1970s — finally had an official name. However, that meant it could also, now, be packaged in a proverbial box, gift-wrapped, complete with bow, and sold for mass consumption.  

Enter, 1984: The Year Hip-Hop Culture Became Hip-Hop Commodity.

Graffiti was washed away from its home, the NYC subway system, and transposed to art galleries. There, wealthy collectors would buy canvases to hang inside their multi-million-dollar luxury apartments. Breaking got so played out, you’d be laughed out of a house party if you attempted a windmill.

Even DJs, the very people credited for creating hip-hop, were coerced into subordinate positions to their counterparts, as hip-hop’s principal, gold and platinum ornament became The Rapper. Soon, DJs were replaced in live performance by “backing tracks.” But it wasn’t the audiences that asked for this change. It was the larger, business infrastructure, dominating hip-hop, which brought it about.

Thus, if you’re Gen Z, you may not be aware that during the 1990s, my Gen X generation of DJs waged a rebellion, and reclaimed its ownership of hip-hop. Therefore, that time is now considered hip-hop’s “Golden Era.”

Players like the X-ecutioners, Invisibl Skratch Piklz, and the Beat Junkies regained control of the distribution and monetization of hip-hop, at least within DJing. We started our own record labels, promotion companies, and played an integral role in booking one-off shows and tours; events that put the focus back on other neglected elements like breaking and graffiti as well. In the simplest terms: Between 1990 and 2000, DJ culture revitalized hip-hop.

It’s the 2000s now. The generation of DJs who stepped into the forefront after mine, have, once again relinquished power to outsiders. But the difference in 2023, when compared to 1983, is, today, business and marketing experts will go as far as disguising themselves as DJs, in order to capitalize on the stock of hip-hop culture.

Here’s how it works: They’ll join a DJ school, and take a few lessons on dropping, mixing and scratching. The next thing you know, they’re influencers, telling aspiring DJs — who genuinely want to learn the art form — what kind of gear to buy, and what apps to run while DJing. If an economically challenged kid from the Bronx can’t afford that $3,000 laptop, or can’t drop $2,000 on the latest mixer, well, they inform them, they’ll just be “left in the dust.”

The indecency of it all is this: People who listen to these influencers have no awareness they are, effectively, being colonized. They do not know the very worldview being pushed upon them — that they will be banished if they can’t keep up economically — serves the function of making their ultimate elimination look benign. They do not know these are outsiders, who’ve successfully infiltrated hip-hop, specifically DJ culture, bearing gifts; ones who are, at every second, exploiting it, and them, for monetary gain.

So, here we are. It’s the opening month of the year marking hip-hop’s 50th anniversary; another year overgrown with “DJs” turned influencers. These are the ones who don’t respect hip-hop’s legacy of economic inclusion, this being a philosophy embedded in the culture by the pioneers on whose shoulders we stand.

At this point, what am I saying should be done?

I’m suggesting the following two (2) action steps.

If you’re going to become a DJ, or teach DJing:

• Examine our culture first. Interact with it. Learn its history, document it, and teach it correctly, to others. Name its great artists and tell what they did to advance the art form. Don’t merely and unethically profiteer off hip-hop’s resources for “LIKES”, “FOLLOWS,” and Benjamins.

• Refrain from using fear-mongering tactics to attract students, or to cash in on DJing, and the greater culture of hip-hop.

In closing:

This essay grew out of a social media conflict I’ve been having over specific forms of marketing, aimed at students of the culture. As should be clear, I strongly object to these practices.

This is not a statement against any person, or group of persons. Further, this is not a statement against the people who follow my work, or, especially, the ones who don’t.

If you are a true supporter of hip-hop culture — not the rah-rah around it, but the science and history of it — I thank you. I particularly thank you if that interest has led you to give an ear to what I have ever said or done.

I stand on all the above. If, because of what I’ve said, I lose colleagues, followers, students, sponsorships or should I be slandered, vilified, shunned or become abject, while it would be unfortunate, I do not care. I am aligned with a much Higher Power, and higher values, than those with which the current DJ world aligns itself.

I stand firm in the truth of my words, even if they are disconcerting, because I understand the following: There is an economic and creative war, happening in plain sight, for the control of how people think and interact, not only with DJ art and technology, but with themselves, and with their own minds.

For that reason, I’ll never go along with fake shit, to get along with fake shit. Instead, I dig in my heels for what I see as right and just.

Regardless of the circumstances, I will always stay, and reside, in truth and in respect. That is the legacy of the pioneers, and, as far as my part is concerned, understand: I’m just trying to help this art form get to the next generation, intact.

Happy 50th, hip-hop.

If you’re interested in scheduling an appointment or you’d like more information, please contact us.

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

The thing is. The Winchesters would be a tragedy if Dean weren’t in it.

If there was no Dean narrating, no Dean with his car and pen and notebook, then there would be no doubt that the story being developed in front of our eyes would be a tragedy. Everyone is pushed by an invisible script along the tracks of their role in a cruel god’s story. All the characters are cogs inside a machine. The outcome is already written, it already happened. You can’t change the past. You can’t rewrite a book that has already been typed out. There’s no hope.

But Dean’s presence in the narrative changes things. Dean writing with his own hands on a notebook. Dean who is the future and who defeats the machine in the future. Dean who rips out the script in the future. Dean who refuses to be the character he’s supposed to be.

Dean who is hope.

I don’t know if the show will fix the finale. Probably not. An actual continuation will fix the finale. But this show, I suspect, could actually fix something else: 14x18.

The past has already happened so it can’t change. But the future can be changed, it doesn’t have to still follow the script.

Maybe I’m wrong and this show will, indeed, change the past. But there’s a way of fixing something bad about Supernatural without needing to do that.

If Dean is in heaven (again, the finale fix-it will be its own show, one that has Dean and Cas front and center) then this can be a partial for-now finale fix-it. Because the so-called finale (-guy pointing at forehead meme- there can’t be a finale if the thing doesn’t finish) wants us to drink up the idea that a dead Dean is static. He drives nowhere just to stop. He does nothing but drink a shitty beer that reminds him of his dad and shitty childhood, and the only prospect in front of him is to hang out with his parents next door.

This show has the opportunity to be like “oh? You put Dean in heaven? Very well. He’ll be Dean Winchester in heaven then. Doing his thing. Healing”. No static Dean who’s like “oh it’s nice to be dead :)” but a Dean Winchester who doesn’t stop fighting his fight, fixing what he can fix, help who he can help.

Heal himself by healing his family. Healing his parents.

We’re supposed to believe that Mary Winchester is also just happy to be dead and reunited with her husband for eternity. That was a pretty horrific perspective in Supernatural. Mary had started out a new chapter of her life, was making new experiences, dating someone else, learning about her husband abusing their kids - and then she’s slammed back into the dead wife role.

We were like, there is no way those two people can just meet again and heaven and just spend the rest of eternity together, like nothing else happened to them, like they didn’t both go through experiences that changed them.

But what if that’s what Dean is doing? What if Dean is looking for Mary and John’s friends, possibly lovers who could never be because of destiny, and allow them the life they could have had if not for the machine?

What if Dean allows them to reunite - all of them looking the way they did when they were all together, young and as innocent as they could ever be, already traumatized but capable of hope and love?

What if Dean is the one who brings the gang together again, yes dead - you cannot change the past - but free to be themselves and love each other and heal together?

This is my theory for a “the past cannot be changed” scenario. Who knows, maybe the show will indeed pull some fuckery and surprise me. Dean did promise us surprises. But if this is the case, then I think I would be still satisfied with it. Yes, John and Mary Winchester’s story is a tragedy, but Dean Winchester can heal it and consequently heal himself by healing it.

I mean. I would love a scenario where the show goes. “Ah, you put Dean Winchester in heaven with his parents? Very well. He goes to get his father’s boyfriend and his mother’s girlfriend. You’re welcome.”