#actually autistc

[adhbabey]

I think the reason why I may do better in some situations instead of completely fumbling is that I like to "play a role" or perform in some way. It's somewhat natural and somewhat not. Like being the perfect lover, so its easy for me to flirt and tease. Or like being a good advice giver, I like being able to educate others. Or being the devil to someone's angel, or vice versa.

I always tend to perform or reflect someone else. So it doesn't bother me, and it doesn't make me struggle, as much, if I can play a role that I have played before.

And I realize this is just a form of scripting or masking. I don't do well if someone plays a role that I wanted to play. Or someone tries controlling me in a way I don't want. Or if the role I'm playing is traumatic, if then, its out of my hands of control of a social situation.

I don't think other people really think about this like I do. If they, a neurotypical person, or an allistic person, or someone who just falls outside of my categories, I cannot play or fit myself into an archetype that I feel comfortable in. It definitely makes me feel unstable when people do not like to be labeled. It makes me feel out of tune.

And sometimes, the role I play, is one that is unstable. If all else fails, I'll do something very unhinged. And play a role of a character that is frightening or unnerving, so they stay away from me.

I think this is just autism. I've perfected myself so well. I fit into other things so well. That it doesn't bother me when I have to play a role. But when I can't play a role. When I can't plan my interactions based on a certain idea. I get really frustrated.

I do, I can play a role that suits this. That shows my disabilities. But it's just really hard to see myself as anything like another when I don't feel safe to even manufacture an identity to suit those around me. I feel unstable admitting that I am autistic. I don't like this "role". I'd rather be someone else. Anyone else.

I don't look autistic, because I don't want you to know what I'm like. And that's hard to accept, for a kid who likes to perform for you and feels safe in an identity that makes me feel loved. Instead of a me that is not loved. And it's crazy because this is who I am truly now. Someone who is going to be a hero, instead of someone who can't speak up or voice themselves. The little autistic child inside of me is asleep, as the waking person I am now is to adapt and change and be courageous and voice themselves.

So unlike other some other autistic people, who discuss and talk about how they mask and don't know their true identity as they pretend to be someone else. I'm not pretending. Sometimes, I'm truly someone else, and currently, I am that somebody else. And the autistic and confused child is dormant inside of me, a role I can't play for others, not in the way I've known others to be.

[himynameis4]

Wake up babes new stim just dropped.

[myheartisonthetrain]

curse you fluctuating levels of empathy why do you make me look like a dickhead

[tasteless-lemonade]

i hate it when neurotypicals are like "autism is not a joke!!! you should never ever joke or say something positive about it!!!!!" but i also hate it when neurotypicals joke about autism

[fran-kael]

I don’t own this

[butchsunbear]

People really are out here thinking all autistic people don't have sex...when autism is genetic. Where do you think the genese come from?

[you-idle-boy]

Jake wanted me to take the mbti personality test and I've always just been sort of indifferent to stuff like that but he read the questions to me, I gave him my answers and he clicked through it, and then said "oh yeah this is so you" to the results and I was just like "....okay 🫡" but then he suggested that we look up characters and people that are the same type so that I know what he means and I NAIVELY assumed that it wouldn't change my perception of myself forever

[emaspin]

Book characters I think are autistic, as an autistic person. part 1

Neil Josten

Jude Duarte

Julian Blackthorn

Kaz Brekker

Feel free to add :)

[choshasan]

enjoy this meme I made on instagram!

No I can't spell!

Yes I know I wrote Hyperfixarion!

No I'm not fixing it!

[collegestudentwithautism]

I never realised how many stims I actually have, this year and last year I have been trying to stim more as it helps me stay grounded though some of them hurt they still help me. Now these are some of mine I know not every Autistic perosn has the same but I do these the most.

My favourite stim is listening to the same song over and over again, currently it's this smooth Operator.

1. Fist bonk

2. Feet swing (I love doing this on a chair or table)

3. Flappy sleeves (especially with long sleeves)

4. Heel clicking(when I click my heels together)

5. Finger tapping (I do this to calm down from anxiety attacks)

6. Swaying (my favourite to do either on my bed or on a chair, people look when I do it though)

7. Leg shaking ( more of a nervous tic, but also a stim one of my Favourites my dad does it to)

8. Flappy hands (of course the one that makes everyone instantly say Autistic, flappy hands come out when in excited about something or see my special Interest)

9. Blinking (I don't do thus alot but I do catch myself blinking long and hard)

10. Finger snapping (another favourite it's loud to do though)

11. Neck twitch ( also another nervous tic from my Anxiety and makes people look at me alot)

12. Spinning (I love spinning, in circles, on a chair, on anything)

13. Hair twirling (I always have my hair down so I can twist it)

14. Fidget toy (I have a box in my room filled with all my fidgets I always have at least 3 on me because I know I need them)

15. Tiptoe walking (I recently started doing this randomly, but I like it)

16. Chest drumming (keeps me from panicking or feeling overwhelmed)

17. Chewing (on clothes or anything, I don't have any chewlry which is annoying)

18. Joint cracking (another one I like but makes other people cringe)

19. Clothes plucking (usually when I'm anxious or feel really hot)

20. Leg drumming (I love drumming on my legs very fun to do)

21. Hitting (this is ine if my physical stims, it hurts when I do it but still keeps me grounded, which is why I usually have a pillow over my legs so It doesn't hurt to much)

So those are all my stims that I have I like alot of them, jsutblike I said not every Autistic person does these, this is jsut what I do as an Autistic person.

[neverkayzat]

he is a bisexual dumpster fire.

[stabbingandorbeingstabbed]

panicking abt how tf im gonna make it out of indiana into the greater nyc area when common wisdom says you can afford 30% of your monthly income for rent and currently thats like. $510 for me LMAO anyways should i message that girl i met that works at trash and vaudeville and ask if theyre hiring and what their rates are or would that be tacky gauche and unforgivable

[bettertwin1]

YES 😭😭😭 YES 😭😭😭😭😭 YURI INFODYMPING ABOUT BUGS AND ANIMALS TO ANYA OUGH IM SICK IM SICK HE NEEDS TO GO TO HIS LOCAL LIBRARU, SEE THAT BOOK FROM HIS CHILDHOOD AND REACTIVATE THAT HYPERFIXATIOJ NOWWWWWWWW

Moot completely unrelated but related to Yuri do you ever think about how he had an intrest in bugs as a kid...I KNOW HIS HOME CANONICALLY HAD LIKE...PICTURES OF HIS SISTER <- ("DO IT FOR HER" 😭😭😭) BUT I LIKE TO THINK...HE COLLECTS AND HAS FRAMED DISPLAYS OF BUGS ON HIS WALLS... PLS SEE MY VISION. <- (HIS SPECIAL INTREST IS BUGS THAT HE CAST ASIDE IN MY FUCKED UP MIND)

I THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THIS!!!!!! he is a little animal nerd. A little insect and bug and arachnid nerd. Imagine him doing some inner child healing and picking up his old interests again☹️‼️‼️‼️‼️ Him going outside and looking at insects with Anya and telling her interesting facts about them. (I am getting way too emotional about this cuz i was also that neurodivergent kid who had a special interest in insects and nature. I annoyed the shit out of my elementary school classmates with bug facts, haha)

[vilevexedvixen]

Gross take on Laios

*Please DO NOT harass this person. I am linking the video so people can hear her own words and come to their own conclusions about it. For what I'm concerned about (her warped view of Laios and autism) it's mainly after the 15 minute mark.*

TW: Mentions of past trauma (bullying and SA), and ablism related to autistic traits.

So I think I've stumbled across the worst take on Dungeon Meshi out of nowhere. Their points on the tonal whiplash of Dungeon Meshi juggling the fantasy cooking show and more serious plot are all sound... until she get's to Laios. *Edit: No, none of the video's criticisms are sound. The first half is them not parsing very standard mixes of tones and themes in fantasy anime, and the second half is just hateful, incoherent nonsense.*

Laios' flat affect, tendency to infodump, and not grieving Falin the way Marcelle does led her to the conclusion that Laios is a malicious psychopath. A little bit extreme. Made worse by the fact that she then deems any fans attributing autistic traits to Laios as infantalising and implying that if you relate to Laios you are similarly awful with - "What kind of autistic people are YOU hanging out with?! What kind of autistic person are you being???".

She then goes on to say, "The only one who calls out Laios is Shuro" over the clip of their fight. The fight that many autistic fans of the show I've met relate to because they've experienced the same fight. That fight is Shuro calling Laios out on... what? Laios being too open, smiley and blunt? Like that's harming anyone?

Shuro, frankly, threw a tantrum over motives he attributed to Laios that didn't exist and demanding Laios be less open? THAT'S "calling him out"?

None of Laios' actions that this woman is bemoaing harms any of his party members. He goes out of his way to try and help the team (with his monster knowledge, fighting skills, cooking, etc.) consistently and him not ugly-crying when Falin is resurrected doesn't diminish any of that. His care and compassion are heartfelt and sincere. The fact this woman refuses to acknowledge any of it is her perrogative, but I seriously question her choice to pull the "as an autistic person" card only to paint autistic traits in the worst possible light and insist they must be changed, or removed by "growing up" (an especially laughable sentiment given Shuro's very NT tantrum over not understanding autistc communication differences literally ONLY Shuro took issue with).

In the comment section, she also claims that "Masking is only in mundane situations". Says who? Either she's extremely sheltered or she's extremely short-sighted regarding other autistic peoples' experiences (which I guess explains her praise of Young Sheldon's depiction of autism).

Masking is a defence mechanism meant to help autistic people avoid danger and social rejection (which often leads to harm, so still danger). Masking can be performed in literaly ANY situation where someone feels they need to, unless they're already too overwhelmed or drained to continue masking. I have masked because I NEEDED to while being bullied, cornered (barely evading SA or trying to get through an SA/dissociate), trying to find help while stranded in a foreign country, etc. I know not everyone will've experienced such situations, but I doubt no one masks during similar ones. That isn't to say people don't mask in mundane situations, it just isn't exclusive to mundane situations.

If this lady actually is autistic and not just claiming to be so people who don't know better feel vindicated in her portrail of autistic traits in the worst possible light, then I sincerely hope she touches grass and talks to more autistic people sometime.

*Again, PLEASE don't harass this gal. The rest of her critiques are fine, but I needed to vent my frustration with her perpetuation of misinformation about autism. It is NOT ok.*

[sadko101]

unpopular opinion: all bg3 origin ships are great (and as platonic too)

gale x astarion: "enemies" to lovers they have great chemistry and has plenty of room for fluff and angst, plenty has been said about them i dont think i have much else to say.

wyll x gale: theirs plenty of danger in being the blade of fronteirs/avernus and we all know what gale is into. also they are two of the more good leaning characters. + gale is very "being a warlock sounds rough" and wyll is "that man is wayyy to faithful i dont want him to blow himself up". dancer x man with poor knees. (i could yap for ever i love them)

karlach x wyll: PERFECT, their stories intertwine while they have this unyielding care for each other. both platonically and romantically this ship is amazing! i just have no words for how good it is

karlach x shadowheart: karlach calling her shads is adorable and shadowheart is just straight up smitting for karlach the moment they meet. also when you play as origin shadowheart karlach is super sweet about the hairchange i love them.

gale x laezel: good leaning frail human wizard x GITHYANKI WARRIOR. theyre conversations are amazing with a mutual sense of curiosity for each others past and possible future. laezel falling for somone as soft as gale as well. ugh its soo good.

laezel x shadowheart: NOW THIS! its the true enemies to lovers of bg3. kinda "toxic yuri" in the begining but as the story goes on and laezel rebels against vlakith and shart against shar theres a real parrelel to there stories and a sort of understanding that they can find in each other.

gale x shadowheart: an intresting dynamic given them both being incredibly faithful to two gods who arent super fond of each other... as shadowheart strays from shar she encorages gale to relise the power mystra had over him, just a lot of support and love for each other is what im imagining. (definitly a ship thats develoupment focused)

karlach x laezel: now i havent had both of them in my team much, but the dynamic feels close to "grumpy x sunshine" laezel really opening up and being nice over time while karlach is open and happy from the begining.

karlach x gale: wizard x barbarion, (also "idoit" x genuis) is just great, gale and his magic could probably help to cool karlach down temporarly! i hc them both as autistc and i like nd x nd ships. also if you let gale ascend to godhood (loser) and play as karlach he can actually fix her engine heart which adds a sweet motivation to his godhood.

karlach x astarion: now i love these two platonically but i also love them romantically. astarion is enthusastic about recruiting karlach and comments about supporting her. he jokes abouthow strong she is which is cute. if youve ever played karlach origin and romance astarion they have a sweet scene together.

wyll x astarion: monster hunter x monster, wyll loves to tease astarion but he cares about him. he has faith in astarion to be a better person and its just MWAH. astarion is a bit of a simp for wyll (me too) he is very nice about the horns in wylls origin too (i love them)

wyll x shadowheart: they tease each other in a super endearing way. they kinda immideitly clicked and i know that wyll would support shadowheart through her whole crisis and shadowheart will help wyll in his self sacrafising tenancies (these little shits reciting porn together at the docks)

shadowheart x astarion: these two could be evil together, but they also could help each other heal and become better people

laezel x astarion: theyre very differnt views of love and affection. i think laezel would help astarion in his journy of reclaiming his own sexuality. (i need to think about these two more)

durge x anyone is great

i speedran typing this sorry for plethera of spelling erros

[jazzyblusnowflake]

I wanted to talk about a topic that is interesting to me at the moment-

when me and my partner @/keebokuun bring up the subject about J x Tessa for murder drones- alot of people bring up the dynamics that may need to improve- to which we say yeah- we dont ship them in the context of the show. Tessa is still very much biased and treating drones as her slaves that dont have rights as her since shes a human. whether its cuz of her culture, her trauma or whatever else. but in the context of a human au where they all grew up together- yeah that doesnt exist, or at least we have room to improve. and people have been polite enough about this and sharing their opinions and im greatful of that. yall are really cool and gave me ideas to improve my stories on 👌

but then some OTHER people come and say "but Tessa was a minor in the FLASHBACKS- oh AND- was also their MOM"

😐

to which... i say.... um.... So.... Tessa is a mom? [to a bajillion of those maid and butler drones that were not working at the begining of ep5] AND a minor? AAAND she asked her- CHILD DRONE- to pretend to be a RIPPING ROYAL STUD for her to practice flirting or talking with.... to yknow... HAVE A HUMAN RELATIONSHIP WITH-? [cuz correct me if im wrong- girls dont go looking for "ripping royal studs" just to stare at them autistcally right? they wanna talk and do human communication stuff with them right??] and uh... IM the one whos saying weird stuff here? hELLO???

once again. me and keebo will personally remove ANY INAPPROPRIATE content we have online if the creators come up and say "oh yeah that character is a minor"- i promise you all that. we are not degenerates- but first of all- yeah the thing i just said about Tessa being at least a late teen in the flashbacks for the whole stud thing- and also- she had toys in her room- for CYN! as we saw her playing with them- and she was referred to as a "robo child" ? i mean go back and watch the EP again and really look at Tessa, J and N and SAY they are at an age to play with a rocking horse and barbie/ken dolls [damn cyn was making those two naked ken dolls smooch fr]- look at me in the eyes and say a girl that big is at any age to play with those things. NO?? also- if yall actually LOOK at tessa- she has a very pronounced body/ heigh/ chest size even/ etc in the flashbacks. thats not a design youd give a MINOR. and by that logic then N and V having crushes on eachother should be incest because oh damn Tessa is the minor/teen mom to ALL those erroring drones and N and V are siblings omggg 😱!

if anything by this logic Tessa's first choice of going to J to pretend to be a hot stud for her [which probably works in my favor btw lmao] is def concerning jesus.

companies nowadays make it a point to make all characters above the age of 18 as much as they could to avoid these sorts of issues- lest i remind you all again of the fact that every classmate of Uzi in episode 3 has their age above 18 on their missing posters. companies wouldnt include shots like that unless they WANT people to know they are in the clear.

also.... being in a relationship doesnt always translate to "they are having SEX"????? you can be a kid and still hold hands and have crushes and hug and kiss-

not every couple french kiss or suck eachother off oh my God.

anyway thankyou for coming to my Ted talk- im willing to hear anyones opinions on this below cuz im genuinely curious 🤔