collegestudentwithautism

[collegestudentwithautism]

I GOT DIAGNOSED!

I finally got diagnosed with Autism! I've been waiting for this since I was 16 im now 19 and it's been a week snd still feels unreal. Only thing is they also think I have ADHD which adds to my social Anxiety but I'm Diagnosed!!

[collegestudentwithautism]

So I found out I was autistic two years ago and ever since then I have been finding things that help me deal with life and overwhelming situations.

I'm autistic and have social anxiety I also have Selective mutism. To go about life I have my sunflower lanyard that says I'm autistic so people around me know.

On a daily basis i carry around a bunch off different fidgets in my pockets because they help me calm myself and to keep me grounded, I have many. I also have a special soft bunny toy that I bring with me everywhere. As much as I would love to bring a big one it would draw to much attention.

I also wear my noise cancelling headphones everywhere I go because of sensory issues and people talking at once, if not headphones then I also have my ear plugs which work.

For my selective mutism and anxiety, I have an app on my phone to help me communicate to people if I'm nonverbal or I usually have a friend or my parents speak for me as i get to overwhelmed, if not I use paper and pens to write down how I'm feeling and have a communication cards for teachers.

I also wear my comfort clothes with arw my favourite jeans and a nirvana hoodie wearing these help alot.

These are my Disability aids!

[collegestudentwithautism]

I've only just realised how different I am from my siblings this year, Im 18 my sister is 15 and my brother is 14.

so we went on holiday to Greece a couple months ago and of course I have a special Teddy that I bring everywhere with me when I go on holiday she goes everywhere.

My siblings used to bring teddies with them to, but this time only i did and they didn't, it made me realise that I'm the only Neurodivergent out of all three of us.

Which kinda of makes sense as I'm the most childlike out of us and hiw neurotypical they are, which of course is fine but I just never realised until now.

[collegestudentwithautism]

I never realised how many stims I actually have, this year and last year I have been trying to stim more as it helps me stay grounded though some of them hurt they still help me. Now these are some of mine I know not every Autistic perosn has the same but I do these the most.

My favourite stim is listening to the same song over and over again, currently it's this smooth Operator.

1. Fist bonk

2. Feet swing (I love doing this on a chair or table)

3. Flappy sleeves (especially with long sleeves)

4. Heel clicking(when I click my heels together)

5. Finger tapping (I do this to calm down from anxiety attacks)

6. Swaying (my favourite to do either on my bed or on a chair, people look when I do it though)

7. Leg shaking ( more of a nervous tic, but also a stim one of my Favourites my dad does it to)

8. Flappy hands (of course the one that makes everyone instantly say Autistic, flappy hands come out when in excited about something or see my special Interest)

9. Blinking (I don't do thus alot but I do catch myself blinking long and hard)

10. Finger snapping (another favourite it's loud to do though)

11. Neck twitch ( also another nervous tic from my Anxiety and makes people look at me alot)

12. Spinning (I love spinning, in circles, on a chair, on anything)

13. Hair twirling (I always have my hair down so I can twist it)

14. Fidget toy (I have a box in my room filled with all my fidgets I always have at least 3 on me because I know I need them)

15. Tiptoe walking (I recently started doing this randomly, but I like it)

16. Chest drumming (keeps me from panicking or feeling overwhelmed)

17. Chewing (on clothes or anything, I don't have any chewlry which is annoying)

18. Joint cracking (another one I like but makes other people cringe)

19. Clothes plucking (usually when I'm anxious or feel really hot)

20. Leg drumming (I love drumming on my legs very fun to do)

21. Hitting (this is ine if my physical stims, it hurts when I do it but still keeps me grounded, which is why I usually have a pillow over my legs so It doesn't hurt to much)

So those are all my stims that I have I like alot of them, jsutblike I said not every Autistic person does these, this is jsut what I do as an Autistic person.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Do you ever forget to breath, like I'm always telling myself to do the right things when socialising that I completely forget to breath, like it's only if I realise I have to breath I breath deeply because I'm analysing everything I do hoping it I the right thing.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Stimming

I jsut realised I've been stimming since I was a child and didn't even notice, so sort of a backstory when I was little I sucked my thumb and always carried a special blanket with a tag around and I would rub it on my face and with my fingers because I like how soft it is and I still do that now if my clothes has a tag that is soft that I like so much then I will stim with it or I will rub my clothes between my fingers I'm 18 and I jsut realised this was an Autistic trait and I do it.

[collegestudentwithautism]

So im autistic and this is my life but in pictures because art is how i express myself, these are just short stories of being Autistic and how i deal with situations. Reading this will make your day better. #Autism Things #webcomic #WEBTOON

[collegestudentwithautism]

autistic things 120

wanting to pat things/people and wanting be patted

[collegestudentwithautism]

are anybody else's meltdowns more like freezing and crying? like mentally my head is exploding but visibly all i do is kind of curl up and cover my face while i cry.

maybe partly why it took 15 years for anyone to realise i was autistic lmao

[collegestudentwithautism]

Over explaining things

It has come to my attention that I over explain things like my Dad does, literally me and my mum were talking about how me and my dad are alike and she said that I also over explain things like he does ( he definitely also Autistic) literally even with the simplistic thing I always over explain things and now I'm over thinking that I do it to much around my friends which makes then annoyed by me.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Feeling accepted by my nanny and mum

So recently my nan has been very accepting of me Being Autistic after years of saying I was normal, literally ages ago she met a another Autistic person and she said she had an Autistic grand daughter (me!) I was so surprised when my mum told me. My nan has started watching a show about autism in girls, I don't know what to feel its amazing feeling accepted and understood by my family especially my Nanny because I love my nanny alot. So she and my mum are going to watch it tomorrow together because my nan always comes round on Wednesdays, I hope they will get to know more about Autism in girls from the show.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Nonverbal and Autistic Shutdowns

So today I've been angry, stressed and sad. The reason because I was overthinking because my best friend ignored me all day even though we literally have the same classes, this made me feel sad and it didn't help that I only have this week and the week after half term to finish another project for Art. That stressed me out so much that one of my friends noticed and helped me calm down after I cried I went completely Nonverbal and didn't talk for the rest of my maths 5class, my friends were very understanding and gave me lots of comfort when I was Nonverbal.

After half an hour of being Nonverbal I became very tired and jsut shutdown. Literally I've never had a shutdown before but I did I jsut shutdown I class I was very tired and jsut stared off into space until I felt better, after today I just want you sleep and forget about it. I'm jsut glad my friends were there ti help me through it.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Anxiety and a crappy day

This happened 8 days ago and forgot to post it.

Another crappy day today, Anxiety is the worst. So first off I had Art which was fun we finished our plaster sculptures and that wad fine,but I had to finish mine off before lunch was over so I used one of the tools which was a wire to cut the clay znd ended up cutting my fingers on my left hand which meant I couldn't hold my pencil or write in maths, so in maths I was getting annoyed at myself because I couldn't write and the teaching assistant kept coming over thinking she was helping me but instead was, making me more anxious, at are break I was ever more anxious and ended up having a panic attack and didn't calm down for ages, but I feel alot better now thanks to my friends.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Horrible Morning ( Anxiety, Panic attack and Meltdown)

I Had a Meltdown, an Anxiety and Panic Attack all today, let me start this vent off with I've been very stressed this week. Yesterday I literally slept so late I was late to meeting my best friend for lunch like we do every Thursday and so I didn't like that my routine was different.

Then last night I couldn't sleep because I have a project due fir Art and I'm not nearly done with my sculpture I'm making it it taking forever and my teacher aren't fucking helping and are only making it worse as they keep hurrying me alone, so last night I didn't sleep I did sleep for an 1 and 30 minutes but that made me late fir class. So I quickly got up and got everything ready before running out the door, once again my routine was completely different because I left 20 minutes later than I always do that set if a panic attack as I was trying to run but became breathless I was already stressed and then it felt like I couldn’t breath.

After a couple of seconds I managed to calm myself down from the panic attack and continue walking to college, when I next checked my watch it was 8.40 I had class a 9am and I knew I was going to be late, as I was walking I kept thinking 'I'm going to be late' over and over and over again until I start crying because I know it was true I hate being late it makes me extremely nervous and stressed thus is when I started having an anxiety attack I couldn't stop hyperventilating or shaking, this continued until I got to my classroom when I got there I knew I was on the verge of a Meltdown so I quickly put my stuff down and went outside and let myself calm down from my Meltdown.

After a while my friends came to see how I was and helped me come out of the Meltdown I felt alot better after that horrible morning.

[collegestudentwithautism]

No.63

Having a very specific song you have to play over and over again everyday. At the moment mine is Rio by Duran Duran, I've replayed it so many times today I can't count how many.

[collegestudentwithautism]

Unmasking

So I was home alone on Monday because I didn't have class and everyone was at Work or school and of course this meant I could stim and be myself alone but whenever I did try and Stim I'd end up stopping and I stopped Unmasking fir the whole day literally I kept my mask up and didn't stim at all I didn't realise I had a mask up all the time even alone.

Done anyone know how to Unmask and to keep unmasked?

[collegestudentwithautism]

61 Meltdown

Had a fucking Meltdown in class today, so far it was a good day I had English which I hate but after lunch is where the day starts to go bad, We have a Art project due and this is the last week to do it, I have made an art piece which I really like and didn't want to do another one but my Teacher told me I should try but the thing is I don't like taking my time I can do a couple jours but Working on the same thing fir day annoys me and I can't do it I get to stressed out and loose concentration. But I tried painting a new piece and absolutely hate it I felt so emotional that I felt a Meltdown coming so I went outside and walked around the college campus. After 10 minutes I walked to a bathroom and sat in the stall for an hour trying to calm myself down after an hour I did and went back to class but was completely Nonverbal I didn't say a word until after class was finished. But I am feeling much better after hanging out with my friends.