♡Bananzer, 20s she/her♡ ♡ask box is always open!♡ (Main @bananzer)
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I've said it before, and I'll say it again: one of the only few bad things about Tolkien's legendarium is that it makes 90% of all other fantasy worlds look either completely or somewhat mediocre in comparison.
Like, what do you mean you don't have a fictional language for your fantasy world? WEAKLINGS
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Seriously though I imagine that Hobbits are like masters of the polite fiction. They clearly love to gossip and tell tales, but they also really love the idea of nothing actually disrupting their leisurely, quiet lives, so you figure when they decide that not talking about something is required to do that, nobody talks about it. They pick themselves a nice little delusion and by god they stick to it.
Like this other thought I had once was that there’s this Dwarf that used to come by and visit Bilbo, probably one of the many cousins and relations of Thorin’s Company. And he kind of falls in love with the Shire and is like “That’s it, I’m retiring here.”
A Dwarf. Living in the Shire.
People don’t emigrate to the Shire. It’s not done! Hobbits can move from one part of the Shire to another, but you don’t have something else entirely move to it from outside of it!
Except it would be abominably, beastly rude to actually tell him that. “No, you can’t live here”, what, are we animals? Beasts? Orcs? Plus, uh, he’s kind of fucking rich. Like, really rich. Like he just plunked down a good three times what a hill is actually worth because he says it has “good bones”.
So everyone decides, for the sake of the peace, for the sake of their own minds…
… he is a Hobbit.
Hairiest Hobbit you ever saw. With a weirdly deep hole. Yeah people have been in that sucker and it just keeps. Going. Down. A weird distance down. Lot of stonework. But that there is Mr. Talbin Ironnails the Hobbit. Mm-hmm. Oh, the beard’s just a bit of an eccentricity, don’t mind him.
Need some metalwork done? Why, you want ol’ Talbin! Best Hobbit you’ve ever seen with a hammer and tongs. Dwarf? No, no, who ever heard of a Dwarf living in the Shire! That’s just old Talbin! Bit on the tall side, but don’t be intimidated at all.
Oh dear, wolves you say? Well, let’s go ask ol’ Talbin if he can take care of it. Once took a wolf’s head clean off with what we’re very sure was a very fancy woodsman’s axe, what with the long metal haft and two heads. Must have a bit of Took in him, does ol’ Talbin. Explains why he’s so odd, eh? Eh?
Beer? Drink you under the table, ol’ Talbin will! Why, some say he has the constitution of a Dwarf, ha ha ha! HE’S NOT THOUGH.
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I know some people were salty about Bilbo in the Hobbit movies not wearing the same thing that Ian Holm Bilbo is wearing in the prologue scene of Fellowship, and I hear you. That kind of attention to detail is always wonderful. And I know some people think the explanation that since the voice over is done by Galadriel, she probably just didn't know what he was wearing is a copout.
However...I do enjoy picturing everyone sitting around listening to Galadriel tell the story, and Bilbo starts tugging on Elrond's sleeve and whispering to him like
"Elrond...Elrond...that's not what I was wearing that day."
(being patient with the elderly) "It's okay, Bilbo."
"I didn't even own that waistcoat yet."
(getting exasperated) "It really doesn't matter, it's fine."
"It's not fine. It's wrong. Tell her she got it wrong, Elrond."
(questioning his life choices) "I'm not going to do that, Bilbo."
"Why not?"
"BECAUSE SHE'S MY MOTHER-IN-LAW."
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I was talking with a friend the other day about bullying, specifically the more subtle and insidious forms of bullying that are more common among adults, like mobbing, character assassination, and ostracization. These forms are especially common in the workplace, but also pretty common in activist circles.
One thing we talked about was how some people can have a hard time distinguishing someone bringing forward a legitimate criticism of someone's behavior to their friends, colleagues, or fellow activists vs. trying to start a character assassination with the end goal of isolating and ostracizing someone (aka bullying or mobbing).
People will often just go along with mobbing for a number of reasons, maybe they're afraid if they speak up and defend the target they'll become the target themselves. Maybe they already had some pre-existing animosity towards the target so they're happy to go along with the mobbing campaign.
But often, I think people just either fall victim to the bystander effect, or they trust their work colleague/friend/fellow activist. Maybe they've only had good experiences themselves with the perpetrator leading the mobbing campaign, so they have no reason to question what the perpetrator is saying or doing. Or maybe they themselves have never been on the receiving end of this kind of bullying (character assassination campaign leading to isolation and ostracization) so they don't even recognize it for what it is.
What they also probably don't realize is usually the only thing that separates them from the victim is how useful and/or non-threatening they are to the perpetrator.
My friend brought up a really good point on how to distinguish between legitimate criticisms and concerns about someone's behavior vs. mobbing/bullying/character assassination. Listen to what they're saying, are they focusing on what they say this person is, or what this person does?
Are they saying things along the lines of "This person thinks they're so much better than everyone else!" or "This person is such a weirdo!" or "this person is so crazy!", or are they giving specific examples like "One time this person said or did this specific thing that I found troubling/disturbing/offensive."?
If they only have vague things to say about someone's character like "they think they're better than everyone else" "they're crazy" "they're a weirdo", how do they respond if you try to defend them and say something like "Well I don't think they think they're better than everyone else, I think they're just really focused on their work." or "I personally don't think that person is crazy, they just seem like they're really stressed out right now and maybe not managing it well." How does the other person respond if you try to give another perspective, do they get angry or offended that you would dare offer a different perspective, or do they even make you feel afraid or intimidated that you might not just agree with them on what they have to say about someone else?
If they only have vague statements about someone's character (they're crazy / they're so lazy / they're a snake / they're snobby and think they're better than everyone else) but can't give specific examples of the other person's actions, and especially if they get angry and offended that you disagree with their claims about the other person's character (when not being able to provide examples), consider that you may be witnessing character assassination with the end goal of isolating and ostracizing the target as a form of mobbing/bullying.
Of course, this isn't a steadfast rule, and there is a lot of nuance here. You really need to consider the context. If you have a personal relationship with someone outside of a professional/activist, such as a friend, romantic partner, or family member, it is more normal to vent and use more vague terms without having to provide specific examples while venting to your loved ones. And hopefully, if you are someone's friend/romantic partner/family member, and know them on a personal level, you hopefully know them well enough to know whether or not they're the type of person to character assassinate as a means of trying to isolate and ostracize someone. Not always, but I hope you do.
In professional settings, or settings that can/should call for a certain level of professional behavior such as activism circles, not only is it not professional to call your colleague a snake or crazy or a stuck up snob to your other colleagues, also consider that these are settings and circles where people are more likely to have ulterior motives if they have something to say about someone else's character. Your bestie or partner or mom might not actually have much to gain if they tell you their co-worker is a lying backstabbing snake or a stuck up snob, but your colleague who is competing with the person they're trash talking for a raise or a leadership position does have something to gain from a character assassination.
So when someone is trash talking to you, I advise you to always consider if they might have something to gain from assassinating the other person's character. What, if anything, could they gain from you thinking less of the other person they're talking about?
Another reason this isn't necessarily a steadfast rule is because of course when someone character assassinates (with the end goal of isolating/ostracizing the target as a form of mobbing/bullying) it's not uncommon for them to tell half truths or even just plain lie about something their target said or did. Also not uncommon, saying something their target said or did but taking it out of context (think of that one scene with Fred saying "I hate Coolsville" from the live action Scooby Doo).
So my best advice if you don't want to accidentally find yourself complicit in a group mobbing/bullying of someone (via isolation and ostracization) is to always make an effort to form your own opinions of someone instead of just taking someone else's word for it.
Of course, as with anything, there is nuance. You have your safety, and I'm not just talking about physical safety, but your emotional/mental well being to consider. If someone, especially someone you know well and trust, warns you about someone else, of course it's normal and healthy to exhibit an appropriate level of caution around the person you were warned about (which you can do while still being civil and professional towards whoever you were warned about in most cases).
Generally though, if you hear something unpleasant about a co-worker or fellow club member or fellow activist's character, and you don't have any hard proof of it for yourself, consider that this may be a(n) (attempted) character assassination, and consider forming your own opinions rather than taking their word for it.
This isn't usually a topic I'd write about on this blog, but character assassination leading to mobbing/group bullying/isolation/ostracization of the target really is more common in the adult / professional world than apparently a lot of people are aware of, and too many people just go along with it because they blindly trust the perpetrator and don't realize what's happening.
And of course it is more common in some settings than others. When I worked food service and retail I can't say I ever really witnessed or experienced this. Maybe it's because I almost exclusively worked for small businesses, so there really wasn't much of a social or financial ladder to climb that might motivate someone to character assassination and mobbing. Maybe shift work also lessens the likelihood of this behavior. Of course this type of behavior happens in the service industry on shift work, but in my experience it doesn't seem to be nearly as common as it is in office settings.
Once I moved on to office work, where there were more social and financial hierarchies to climb, I was disturbed at how common this kind of behavior is, and again, how many people just unthinkingly go along with it because they blindly trust what their colleagues tell them without considering the possibility of an ulterior motive, like being a bully.
I also advise you to show a good heap of caution towards anyone who is eager to trash talk and/or gossip, especially with people they're not all that close with yet, and especially in settings or situations where they could have something to gain from a character assassination.
TL;DR: always take trash talking with a grain of salt, and give people who are the target of the trash talk a chance if you don't want to be complicit in group bullying.
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The movie dialogue could never measure up to this:
“But no living man am I! You look upon a woman. Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter. You stand between me and my lord and kin. Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.”
How could anyone cut this?! How?! How?!?!?!?! These lines are so incredibly stirring, so powerful, so moving. “I am no man” doesn’t even come close.
First of all, I like that the negative statement of “No living man am I” is followed by the positive statement of “You look upon a woman.” It’s direct and definitive. She’s been disguised as Dernhelm up until this point—another thing that was cut from the movie—but now she’s revealing who she really is.
Second, in a similar way, I like that she says, “Éowyn I am, Éomund’s daughter.” It’s like a challenge. It’s like announcing one’s identity before a duel—which is in effect what she is doing.
Third, “You stand between me and my lord and kin.” This reminds me of one of the most poignant quotes from the book: “I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” It’s very important that Éowyn did this brave deed out of a desire to protect Théoden.
Finally, “Begone, if you be not deathless! For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.” THIS IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING! THIS IS SO COURAGEOUS! I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL! I don’t know which part is better—the fact that she threatens him, or that she gives him the choice to forfeit and flee the battlefield.
There’s an incredible heroic resoluteness to the final line, “For living or dark undead, I will smite you, if you touch him.” This, right here, is the essence of the courage of mortals in Tolkien’s books. It’s the acceptance of death, but the desire to go down fighting—the knowledge that death is inevitable, but the one thing we have control over is how we meet it.
Éowyn is facing Sauron’s most powerful servant, who is almost a personification of death itself, and she is declaring that no matter what he is, and no matter the outcome, she WILL fight him. When she says these lines, she doesn’t know that she and Merry will vanquish him. It’s sheer determination against impossible odds, it’s extraordinary courage in the face of death—and THAT is why this scene is so powerful.
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I have a condition. It's called... thinking about the OCs...
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Everytime that I remember Boromir's horn of Gondor made even the Balrog pause, I get so sad. Boromir was brave and valiant. His downfall was his care. He wanted the power to protect his people. That and pressures from his father made him fall to the ring's powers, despite his best efforts. He haunts the narrative and it hurts my soul.
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google search will this uneasy feeling in my stomach I've felt since I was 13 ever go away
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