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jazlynriddle · 28 days ago

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Welcome to your life - Pt 2:

Acting On Your Best Behaviour Ch 17:

Summary:

They'd seen it in their fellow orphans often enough to recognise the pattern and were now forced to admit, despite their hopes to the contrary, that Isidora had likely suffered similar side effects.

No… they'd always known she had. The Keeper had just wanted the power that Ranrok had, enough to convince themselves that they would be able to handle it better than that naive woman.

With the start of the Keeper’s sixth-year in Hogwarts, comes a whole slew of headache-inducing challenges from the most unexpected of places. Between insignificant pests throwing wrenches into their plans and tedious teenage drama, that the Keeper is entirely unprepared for, they wonder if they'll make it to their NEWTs without losing their sanity.

Or worse, Ominis or Sebastian.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Torture, again not exactly torture but kiiiinda torture, there's a lot of pain involved but it's a side-effect, sort of?

We'll get to the proper torture when it's victims our kids are emotionally invested in xD

And that smut with Ominis will be coming up next chapter! ;) I'm gonna need to add a new tag to the fic haha x3

FYI: For those not too familiar with the name, an 'athame' is a ceremonial blade often used in magical rituals, it's usually a black handled and double-edged dagger.

"Thank you for the breakfast, Tibsy, it was delicious." The Keeper nodded as the small elf cleared the dishes from the table.

Tibsy beamed brightly at the compliment, giving the three a little bow before popping away, likely to feed their guest back at Dìon.

"Will both of you be working on the wards today as well?" Ominis asked, taking a relaxed sip of tea, his expression content after their meal. "The two of you seemed rather tired when you got home yesterday evening."

"I think we can continue tomorrow and relax a little together today, maybe get some homework done too." The Keeper smiled wryly, their guest needed time to recover too.

They'd spent a fair amount of time and effort healing the woman after their tests. Neither they nor Sebastian were particularly skilled healers however, so it had taken a while just to perform basic treatment with Tynx's help, and they’d left the rest to her own natural recovery.

"We had some ideas for the underground area's security, but I’ll need to double check our math first, our tests with the Guardian prototypes failed pretty abysmally too." The Keeper grimaced lightly, absently cleaning a spot of sauce on the table with their napkin.

"We weren't very hopeful for those without the Leyline link anyway, it's fine to rework them later." Sebastian gave them a gentle pat on the hand and the Keeper returned his efforts with a fond smile.

"Fair enough." The Keeper nodded. "According to Tynx, the greenhouses are almost complete as well. We can probably start moving the plants in soon."

"I suppose I shall continue my search for Anne tomorrow then, I got a promising lead in Cragcroft yesterday." Ominis hummed thoughtfully.

"That reminds me, yesterday we took a quick dip in the lake since we were in the area, and while there, Sebastian and I found something for you, Ominis." The Keeper smiled softly as they stood to retrieve their satchel.

"So that's why Sebastian was missing a sock." Ominis chuckled.

"I swear some critter must have made off with the blasted thing." Sebastian grumbled. "How'd you tell anyway?"

"Your steps sounded uneven." Ominis drawled dryly.

"Yeah, right." Sebastian snorted sceptically.

The Keeper retook their seat, satchel in hand as they spoke. "Here we go, hopefully you'll like what we found. Though, I will say, Ominis, that you don't have to accept this if you don't want to."

"Oh?" Ominis tilted his head to the side curiously, feeling slightly wary as well, from their words. A moment later, he jumped in surprise when the sound of the jar opening was followed by two soft and shrill voices.

"It's open, it's open! Left, let's go this way-"

"No, right, let's go right-"

"Ow! No, I want to go left!"

"Ouch! Stop it, I want to go right!"

"Left!"

Ominis blinked in confusion for a moment, before abruptly realising that the words had a familiar lisp to them. "...snakes?"

The Keeper chuckled. "Yes, I was considering giving them to you closer to your next birthday, but we've run into a small problem."

"I think you mean two small problems." Sebastian snorted. "The fact that it's not two snakes, it's one."

Ominis frowned in even more confusion, feeling more wary and uncomfortable, had they forgotten that he didn't like being a Parselmouth? Why would his lovers offer him such a thing? For a birthday gift no less.

"Sebastian's right, this little one has two heads." The Keeper shook their head in amusement as the two headed snake wiggled about drunkenly. "I'm not entirely certain why, but they can't seem to move right. I spotted them trying and failing to swim away from a dragonfly nymph in the lake."

"And what's the problem you've run into?" Ominis asked brusquely, impatient to understand why he was being gifted a two-headed snake.

"Feeding." The Keeper replied, plucking another jar from their bag, and withdrawing two worms with a mild grimace, lowering the wiggling creatures into the snakes’ jar.

Immediately, the two heads began to whip back and forth aggressively, hissing at each other angrily.

"Food food! Mine!"

"No, mine! Out of the way, I'm hungry!"

"I saw it first! You move!"

"Ow! Stop pulling! Hey!"

"They're fighting…" Ominis' eyes widened in understanding.

"Yes, even though there's more than enough worms to go around, we can’t feed them if they keep thrashing about." The Keeper rolled their eyes in exasperation. "Likely because only one of the heads can look 'in front' at a time. Perhaps you can do something about that?"

Ominis hesitated for a moment, listening to the little hisses of distress, and feeling his sympathy for them mount with every cry. He too knew what it was like to feel so at odds with oneself, the pain of being torn in two directions. If he could help ease someone's struggle and conflict, shouldn't he?

Finally, he sighed and focused on the small voices, tapping into his birthright with a fluidity that he resented. "Stop fighting little ones, there is enough food for both of you."

The hisses of the snakes immediately stopped, the two heads staring at him in shock for several seconds.

"It speaks, how?"

"How?"

"Yes… I am a speaker of your tongue, you needn't fear, you can share, there is plenty of food here." Ominis couldn't suppress a smile at the curious little voices.

"Lots of food?"

"Really?"

"Yes, so just open your mouths and wait for the food to come to you." Ominis nodded firmly.

"...okay… food? Now?"

"Yes, food food, I'm hungry!"

Ominis chuckled, finding their young, innocent voices and immediate trust rather adorable, quite unlike the sinister snakes his family kept around the manor. Deadly sentries that kept his parents abreast of everything their children did. "You can feed them now."

"Finally." The Keeper sighed and lowered the wiggling worms into the small snakes' open mouths, the twin snake's patterned tail flicked excitedly as they chomped down on the fat and juicy worms.

The twins quickly swallowed the worms and opened their mouths again, hissing insistently. The Keeper shook their head at the demanding creatures, they didn't need to be a Parselmouth to understand that gesture.

As they fed the snakes another two worms, the Keeper added. "I rescued this one because I've never seen a two headed snake before. It's up to you if you want to keep them but I doubt they'll survive on their own."

Ominis nodded in agreement, it sounded like the snakes couldn't even move properly, they would be incredibly vulnerable to predators and unable to hunt when they were fighting over both food and direction. He'd never been proud of his ability to speak parseltongue, but if he could use it to help…

"Ah, full… sleepy."

"I wanna sleep somewhere warm…"

"Yes, warm warm, it's cold."

"Come here then." Ominis sighed, opening his palms. "They'd like somewhere warm to sleep."

The Keeper gave an approving nod, pouring the snakes out of the jar and into his hands. The two heads immediately began to hiss happily and flick their tongues against his skin.

"Warm! Speaker warm!"

"Speaker smells nice… sleepy…"

Ominis blinked in surprise at how small they were, small enough to fit into one hand. The feeling of their cool scales against his skin was surprisingly soft and he cradled them to his chest, running a finger along their body.

"Hehe tickles!"

"Mmm feels nice, again Speaker again!"

Ominis chuckled, stroking a finger under the chin of the snake that liked it and feeling the twins coil up in his palm to sleep after a few moments. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad being a Parselmouth…

The Keeper's eyes softened at the affectionate expression on Ominis' face. "It's not so bad, isn't it?"

Ominis startled slightly when the Keeper spoke his thoughts, a knowing smile on their face as they continued with. "If you were not the one with this ability, they would have died."

Ominis narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You seem very intent on convincing me of that. It is not I, that these little ones owe their lives to, it was you who rescued them."

"Be that as it may, from how you've described your family, I doubt any of them would have helped a crippled snake who can't even move right." The Keeper shook their head. "Neither would these snakes have let us non-Parselmouths properly help them without a fight and that could have ended poorly."

"They aren't kidding, you should have seen how aggressive those snakes were, crazy considering that they're practically babies." Sebastian shook his head before glaring at the Keeper accusingly. "Can't believe you didn't tell me there was a tiny pair of snakes biting the palm of your hand the whole time."

"Barely felt it with you snogging me that hard." The Keeper waved their hand dismissively, causing Sebastian’s cheeks to flush with a mixture of surprise and pride, as they returned their attention to Ominis. "Point is, with you, they will be both heard and loved."

Ominis remained silent for several minutes, before he finally sighed and nodded reluctantly, giving the sleeping twin snakes a gentle smile. "I suppose you're right… they will be loved."

The Keeper smiled, pleased that he had come around to their perspective. Parseltongue was a rare and unique ability, it was pointless for Ominis to begrudge himself something valuable that he couldn’t change anyway. Eventually he'd come to accept and maybe even appreciate his gift, if they had anything to say about it.

"What type of snake are they?" Ominis asked curiously after a few moments of petting the snakes.

"Common Watersnake, non-venomous and harmless to humans. Apparently, they're killed often because they resemble the venomous cottonmouth." Sebastian grimaced. "Can't believe some idiots can mistake these cute little things for deadly snakes and kill them for it, feels rather unfair to them."

Ominis went silent again, before murmuring a quiet. "People often hurt those mistaken as dangerous just because of who they were born to or how they look."

"That's why those people are idiots and neither of us will stand for it." Sebastian repeated emphatically and a small shy smile teased the corners of Ominis lips, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"Let's spend some time today setting up a proper living space for the snakes too." The Keeper chuckled. "They're small but we shouldn't keep them in a jar."

Ominis flashed a wry smile. "That's true, fortunately, I am familiar with what a snake nest should have."

"Great, because all I've got are books and they're not particularly helpful when it comes to details." Sebastian grinned.

"Helps that we can simply ask the twins what they like or don't." The Keeper nodded, before glancing at the small coil of snake sleeping in Ominis' hand.

"Since you seem quite unable to move." With a wry smile, the Keeper stood from their chair, kneeled by Ominis' feet, and took his free hand in theirs, grazing the back of it with their lips. "Tell us what we should gather, we are at your service."

Ominis shivered at the sensation, his ears turning red this time while Sebastian snickered behind his hand and Ominis cleared his throat pointedly.

"Well, we'll need some branches and wood shavings for bedding, cypress or aspen would be suitable." Ominis hummed. "We'll also need to pick a good spot that's well-ventilated and will let them sunbathe whenever they like."

"They live by the water, so they probably like it humid." Sebastian added. "We can make the bedding a little wet so they can stay hydrated by burrowing in it."

Ominis nodded, looking more enthusiastic about providing the snakes a comfortable home.

The Keeper smiled affectionately as they sat on the floor, taking out a journal to jot down the supplies they'd need, while the two boys discussed their options. They really did like this side of Ominis, he was such a sweetheart despite everything he'd experienced, as well as his own cunning nature.

"Alright then, while we're gathering these materials, you have a more important job." The Keeper nodded, putting away their journal and smiling as Ominis tilted his head in confusion. "You get to pick names for them."

The Keeper hummed as they scratched several notes in their journal, this second round of tests had gone well. They'd successfully stretched the amount of time it took, for the woman to make it from her cell to ground floor, to a solid hour.

It had been rather entertaining watching her slide down the stairs repeatedly, after said stairs transformed into slippery slopes when the cell wards detected the breach. Though, as fun as that had been, it had been more surprising when she'd used a rather creative combination of Bombarda and a door to successfully propel herself up the slides.

Speaking of doors…

A muffled scream came from the woman bound to the cell's cot as Sebastian carefully slid a small and sharp athame under the skin of her right palm, like one might skin an apple. Her eyes were filled with tears and her body struggled to contort with every shift of his blade.

The ropes binding her jerking limbs to the cot's sturdy metal frame, wrung against her wrists, and burned the skin under them with every spasm. Her cries gurgled and choked around the saliva gathering under the cloth they'd gagged her with, preventing her from biting her own tongue. Rolling his eyes at the sound, Sebastian continued to shear until finally the entire strip of her palm peeled right off.

"And, there we go." Sebastian grinned, looking proud of his work as he raised the bloody layer of skin, or more so the doorknob attached to it, with a pair of prongs, discarding it into the blood-filled bowl under her hand without much care for the splash that followed.

The woman continued to cry and whimper despite the announcement that her suffering had reached its end, perhaps she couldn't understand words at this point.

"Quit complaining, nothing a bit of wiggenweld won't cure." The Keeper huffed as they finished jotting down their notes. "Be glad we're even helping you remove the damn thing."

"Could've left you with a knob permanently attached because you tried a door that you had no reason to open." Sebastian agreed, flipping the bloody blade in the air, seemingly unbothered by the flecks of red that splattered across the floor as he caught it again with ease.

The Keeper rolled their eyes at his showing off but couldn't conceal the fondness in their smile. In truth, they were deeply impressed by Sebastian's steady hand and keen wit.

His idea of furnishing the underground floors with sliding doors adorned with charmed fake doorknobs was quite brilliant. Forcing the escapee to either sever their hand or at least injure themselves, costing them the use of a hand even if they choose to simply detach the doorknob from the door and leave the knob stuck to their hand. Thus, costing the escapee precious time.

And they'd thought they couldn't possibly become more enamoured with this boy.

This idea alone had severely impacted the woman's dungeon clear time, as she had been further stymied when trying to escape the castle grounds, now that the gates were locked behind passwords. Of course, they had always intended to make the gates securely locked but getting a proper gauge of the time difference a password system made, versus one that could be unlocked with Alohomora, was important to their statistical evaluation of its effectiveness.

Assumptions, in their experience, were the most foolish yet easy mistake to make in any given scenario, the last thing they needed would be to overestimate or underestimate the effects of any individual decision at a critical moment.

The woman had then tried to scale the walls with one hand and that had cost her another two hours, several conjured ropes, and a debilitating amount of physical energy. The woman didn't even make it to the red zone before she passed out from exhaustion, and her injuries, this time.

"Well, at least that answers the question of how far the permanent sticking charm goes." The Keeper nonchalantly cast a scourgify at their partner's bloody hands with a dry chuckle. "Skin deep."

Sebastian snorted, drawing his wand with his now clean hands, and casting a scourgify on the athame in turn, before tucking it back into its holster around his waist. "Well, with that settled, I'll go see if Tynx has finished making a new door and reapply the charm if he's done."

"Sure, I'll finish up here." The Keeper nodded, tucking away their journal as Sebastian picked up the bowl and made his way towards the cell door, taking a moment to give them a kiss on the cheek on his way out.

As the cell door closed behind him, the Keeper cast a scourgify on the woman's hand, ignoring her renewed screams as the spell scraped the raw and exposed flesh clean. They waited a few moments, before ungagging her, grabbing her by the hair and lifting her head so they could pour a vial of wiggenweld into her mouth.

As soon as she swallowed the potion, they released her and cast a scourgify on their own hand to clean the oils off. The woman coughed a few times, wincing as the skin on her palm began to burn and itch as it healed.

As the Keeper began releasing the woman's hands and feet from the ropes binding them to the cot's frame, her raspy voice wheezed through her throat. "...why…"

The Keeper straightened as they finished unbinding her. "Why what."

"...why me?" The woman sobbed, curling up into a ball the moment she was released. "I never did anything bad, my dad never did anything bad. We never did anything wrong, why us? Why me? It's not fair."

The woman shrieked, her bloodshot eyes stabbing her captor accusatorily. "What did I do to deserve this?"

The Keeper stared at her blandly, their expression flat and disinterested. "You demanded a hundred galleons for mere information that wasn't worth such a valuation."

The woman stared at them uncomprehendingly and the Keeper turned to leave the cell. "I can't say anything about what you suffered before, but if you think you're the only one dealt a bad hand by fate, you're sorely mistaken."

The Keeper chuckled sardonically as they stopped by the door. "The only thing we get to choose is what type of person we become. Don't expect reality to be fair. Whatever you do will have its own consequences regardless of how extenuating your circumstances may be. You will be judged by the actions you take."

"The moment you took advantage of a stranger who did you no wrong, you lost any moral high ground to bemoan your unjust fate." The Keeper pushed the door open and closed it behind them.

"Then why are you doing this!?" The woman protested, pushing herself up weakly. "Doesn't that apply to you as well?"

"Of course it does. I simply care not for moral grounds, nor do I expect any sort of fairness for myself. That is the person I chose to be, and I am well aware that if I fail, I will taste a hell far worse than the one I grew up in." The Keeper flashed her a sharp grin as they locked the cell door. "All I have to ensure… is that I play every card in my deck and never lose."

As long as you know yourself, no one can tell you who you are. Strength is being able to smile even when it's hard to.

Smile… her father's last words resonated through her mind, she wondered how long it'd been since she'd smiled. She gazed at her own reflection in the cold metal of her cot's frame, the worn and tired face staring back at her bore nothing but worry lines.

She could barely remember his voice, but she could still remember her father's face clearly. Like hers, it had been worn and tired from the hard life of caring for his daughter alone in the middle of the woods while on the run from the Ministry. Even then, she could also remember his smile, the way the skin around his eyes crinkled in little crow feet.

He'd been a hard worker, tilling their garden without a single complaint, tending their crops with a gentle hand. Every day of his suffering that she bore witness to, made anger burn inside her ever hotter and she’d held on to that anger for her entire life. How could anyone believe that such a kind and strong man would murder his own wife with dark magic?

When he passed away, that anger compelled her to remain in their small hut. He'd once told her that he hoped she would return to the town after he passed, to see what had become of it and if his friends were still well, but she couldn't understand why he would say such a thing.

What did she care for the people who betrayed and abandoned them? Why would she return to the town, beg for their help or acceptance? No, she would stay in the place her father had built. It was theirs and it was all that mattered.

When people had occasionally come by her home seeking help, her anger compelled her to spit in their face and turn them away. What did she owe them? No one had helped her when her father was sick, no one had helped him when he begged his friends to care for his daughter when he was being accused.

Not that she really wanted them to, if someone had been willing to take her in, he would have allowed the Aurors to arrest him, and she didn't believe that he would have been found innocent. Nobody cared about them, so why should she care about anyone else?

Her angry, bitter, and hateful face stared back at her in silver. When had she become like this? When had her face become so heinous? A pang of grief gripped her heart and her eyes welled with tears again. What would her father say if he were to see her now?

As long as you know yourself…

Did she? Did she know who she had become? As she ripped her eyes away from her reflection and wrapped her arms around herself, the answer burned in her heart.

She'd become just like the people who'd turned their backs on her father.

Notes:

https://www.susquehannockwildlife.org/2021/11/19/two-headed-water-snake-finds-a-home-at-the-wildlife-center/

Aren't they cuuuuuuute? I took one look at this two-headed Watersnake and immediately fell in love, so I just had to add them to this story! ♡w♡

And, if you guys don't know how dragonfly nymphs eat, you should look it up, it's honestly quite an unsettling sight, one you might expect to see in an Alien movie rather than real life xP (Still kinda cute too tho)

Also, I wonder if anyone realised that the lake on the map is actually the Hogwarts Legacy logo x3

#hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #sebastian sallow #gender neutral mc #mc x sebastian sallow #mc x ominis gaunt #sebastian x ominis #sebastian x ominis x mc #hogwarts legacy fandom #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfiction #fanfic #jazlr welcome to your life #jazlr #lgbtqia #nonbinary

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crystalflygeo · 2 years ago

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banging my fists on the table, peeling the paint off of the walls, shattering concrete… you are so real for that full dragon zhongli fic. morally dubious my cock and balls it’s hot and sexy!!! all of my knowledge on reptilian dicks comes from friends with science majors and degrees who have been victim to my monsterfucking rants. anyways…

first, science and math: functioning under the assumption that zhongli is naturally hung, at a reasonable 9 inches, we can extrapolate the size of rex lapis’ cocks based on the size and mass of the exuvia. i’ll save you all of the details but this means both of rex lapis’ cocks, according to the exuvia, sit at a healthy ☆*: 39.5inches :*☆!!! how fun!!! truly a pair of gut destroyers.

the fun stuff: his cocks have wonderful texture to them. ridges galore, even!!! physiologically it’s unreasonable, and fatal, for any human to take two nearly 40 inch dicks but how can you possibly mind when what can fit is so damn good??? two fat heavy cocks ready to serve!!! full of eggs, let him dump them in you.

LMAOOOOOO thank you!! you are right and you should say it it is hot and sexy hehehe sasdfbnjlks true friendship is ranting about your weird monsterfucking tendencies to your friends amen

that said now-

where are you getting these measurements ma'am omg

unpopular opinion (?) but I don't really like it when ppl add straight up "measurements" into smut, not only bc they tend to be wildly unrealistic (yes yes, says the person writing about dragon dick I'm aware) but also because... I just find it unsexy? lmaoooo I like to leave things up to the reader's imagination and interpretation and as someone who uses metric system idek how many is "x inches" at any given time and it just makes me want to search for a ruler //HIT

I do also love to think Zhongli is hung sure sure -w- big ehehe but 9-12 inches is not reasonable HAHAHAHA omg bye

now as for the dragon thing...

I live and breathe by the headcanon that Zhongli can shapeshift yes, and that includes the size of the Exuvia's vessel because we have, in fact, already SEEN the Exuvia in different sizes

those two dragons are most definitely NOT the same size

sorry how did the Qixing not notice? 🤣🤣🤣

this is more fuckable size, I think//hit Probs same model as the one at the rite

anyway lmaoooo why did I go so deep into this pls don't get upset or anything It's all in light fun I swear <3 but I will stand my ground that he can change size I kinda jump back and forth with different ideas about his dragon form yes yes

BUT YEAH I LIVE FOR THEM RIDGES AND TEXTURE HMMMMM massaging and pushing/pulling at your insides ehe yessss two fat heavy dragon cocks yesssssssssss eggs and lots and lots of cum <3

#god this post is a downhill #of insanity #I might regret it later and delete/edit idk #right now I'm #xdfcvgbhjmlk #head empty only Zhongli #crys answers #PLS DON'T GET UPSET OR SMTH YOUR ASK WAS SO FUN #omg

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solradguy · 3 years ago

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Hey is it true that Sol and Ky meet when the latter was 15 (according to the guilty gear Bible) or is it false? I saw someone mention that in regards of a post talking about their gay-looking moments, and it worries me if true. I hope this didn't sound rude or anything.

Oh yeah I saw that comment but I was too lazy to dig into it lol But since you've asked I'm kinda curious now.

So, first, let's see what the wiki's got to say:

Ok so he's at least an adult in all of the games we see him in.

Ky's birth year, in typical Japanese media fashion, is only an estimate based on fan calculations. The dates of stuff around this estimate are pretty tight though; I'd only +/- his birth year by maybe one year at most.

He was born November 20, in about the year 2157 (year is via unofficial sources). The timeline on the wiki says he joined the Holy Order in 2167, making him about 10 years old? Sol joins the Order in 2172 (Ky would indeed have been in the 14-16 age range this year). The timeline included in GG Strive also uses the 2167 date for Ky joining the Order and 2172 for Sol. It does NOT include any sort of birth year for Ky.

HOWEVER, why tf does the wiki say his age in Missing Link is 23 when the math in the timeline makes him about maaaaayyybe 18 at best? Well, the wiki doesn't source shit so let's whip out the books.

BACKSTORY: At only 16 years old, Ky, a young prodigy swordsman, was appointed leader of the Sacred Order of Holy Knights and given the treasured sword Thunderseal. [translation by me]

This is from the GG Bible and they put his age in Arabic numerals. Zero doubt that he was 16 at least in this book. There's an info section on his page in this book too but it only has his birth month/day (Nov. 20). There's a timeline in this book but it says pretty much what the wiki's timeline does. Sol takes Fireseal in 2173, then defeats Justice later, etc.

Now, I know Lightning the Argent, the light novel focused on his time in the International Police Force, happens after Ky leaves the Holy Order/the Order is disbanded and takes place in 2181. Here's a translation of the book synopsis off Bookwalker:

The year is 2180 A.D. The struggle between mankind and the Gear bioweapons ends in victory for mankind, and all Gears are supposed to have ceased functioning. However, that relief is shattered when a plaintive song echoes through the city.… Ky flies to London to hear the bells ringing, warning of the appearance of the Gears for the first time in five years. Before him appears his former friend and an evil shadow! [my translation]

The "former friend" is Sol and the book events happen 1 year after this synopsis. LtA released in January, 2001, 3 years after Missing Link, and it's possible Daisuke retconned some years. The Strive timeline also says that the events of Missing Link take place in 2175. The summary for Missing Link in its manual says it takes place in 2180, making Ky more in the 22-24 range in ML if we go by the unofficial 2157 birth year, and still about in that range if we use him being 16 in 2167 when he joins the Order too.

It seems the timeline for this period of Ky's life get a little fuzzy after about GGX so here's what else I could dig up:

The Drafting Artworks book uses the same Ky background summary as the GG Bible: He was 16 when he joined the Holy Order. This book came out March 2001.

The GGX manual also lists him joining at 16. July, 2000 publish date.

With the Strive timeline saying Ky joins the Order in 2167 and Sol in 2172, 5 years later, even if Ky was 16 when he joined he would at least be 21-ish by the time Sol meets him.

In summary, you could pretty easily argue that Ky is at least in the 18-21 range when both him and Sol are in the Holy Order together, if you go by the more recent timelines. The numbers are hilariously inconsistent throughout the series' history though. It's dubious enough that it's not something I'm comfortable joking about personally but, like, I don't think it's worth the energy getting mad at someone if they do joke about it either.

Also, I hope this is easy to follow because, man, every time I found a number I found another set of data that completely went against whatever else I found lmfao

#asks #textpost #guilty gear /#Not putting this in the actual tag but I'll still loosely tag it for blacklist reasons #long post /

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girlactionfigure · 3 years ago

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There's something I need to get off my chest.

I'm an Ultra-Orthodox, Chassidic, Hareidi Jew. I live in Jerusalem, in an area that is exclusively Ultra-Orthodox Hareidi for street after street, suburb after suburb, for miles and miles. In all of these neighborhoods where the roads are blocked off and no cars drive on Shabbos, each black-hat-wearing family has many many children and literally no TV’s. I personally only ever wear black and white clothes, my wife only dresses in Chassidic levels of tznius (modesty), and my boys and girls all attend mainstream Hareidi Chassidic schools where the main language is Yiddish. My kids don’t and never will have smartphones, nor have they ever been on the internet at all. Period. They don’t know what social media is and they’ve never seen a movie — not even Disney animation.

Having lived exclusively immersed in this culture for the last 21 years, I think I'm sufficiently qualified and well-researched enough to state that the consistent depiction of Hareidim and Torah Judaism by mainstream media, from Netflix to the daily news, is somewhere between delusion, slander and the literal equivalent of racism. If you consider yourself less closed-minded than how you imagine we Hareidim to be, then permit me to share a few personal details about my family, and other families in our neighborhood, to see how well your mental narrative matches up to reality:

- Besides learning Torah each day, most of the men in our neighborhood work full or part-time.

- Many women in our area work. Some even manage their own business or company. These are not special or “liberated” women — it’s so normal here it’s not even a discussion point.

- My wife is a full-time mother by choice, who despite attending an Ivy League College, finds it a profound and meaningful thing to dedicate her life to. If she didn’t, she’d go get a job. Mind you, she also attends Torah classes each week, works out with both a female fitness coach (who’s gay) and a frum Pilates instructor, writes and edits articles for a couple global websites and magazines, and personally mentors a number of women. None of this is seen as unusual.

- Kids in our community go to Torah schools where they learn (surprise!) Torah. They are fluent in three languages from a young age and the boys even read and understand a fourth (Aramaic). All the kids learn grammar, math and science. Weekly after-school activities have included music (violin, drums, piano), Tae Kwon Do, swimming, art, woodworking and robotics. The girls' school teaches tools of emotional intelligence. The principal of the boys' school doesn't hesitate to refer to kids to OT if needed. I practice meditation with my children multiple times each week. None of our kids think the world is literally 6,000 years old. They devour books about science and think it’s cool. They know dinosaurs existed and don’t find that existentially threatening. They have a telescope with which they love to watch the stars.

- The women in my family (like the men) only dress modestly according to Hareidi standards. The girls don't find this burdensome or oppressive. Period. They aren't taught that beauty is bad. They're certainly not taught to hate their bodies, God forbid. Each morning when they get dressed, they are as happily into their own fashion and looking pretty as any secular girl is. They just have a different sense of fashion than secular culture dictates. (Unfortunately for me, it's no cheaper.)

- The local Hareidi rabbis we receive guidance from are deep, warm, sensitive, supportive and emotionally intelligent. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t go to them.

- My boys assume they will grow up to learn Torah, as much as they want to, and then when they’re ready, get a good job or learn a profession to support whatever lifestyle they choose. My girls assume they’ll be wives and mothers (which they can’t wait for) but they're also warmly encouraged to train in whatever other profession they desire. (My 9-year-old daughter, chatting with her friend in the living room, just commented, "I want to be a mother and a teacher and an artist." Her friend replied, "I'm going to be a ballet teacher.") All options are on the table, and their future seems bright.

- We love living in modern Israel, feel proud and blessed to be here, and frequently count and celebrate its blessings. Everyone in my area votes. Sometimes not even for Hareidi parties. I pay taxes. (And they’re expensive!)

- As a Hareidi person, I’m glad we have Hareidi representation in the government — though I don’t always love or approve of how the Hareidi politicians act, or what they choose to represent. For the record, I'm equally dubious about secular politicians, as well.

- While I don't spend much time in Tel Aviv, I do have a few close Hareidi entrepreneur friends who have founded high-tech start-ups there, and are — Boruch Hashem! — doing very well.

- We don’t hate all non-religious people. Our kids don’t throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos. I doubt they even know anyone who would do that or think that it’s ok. We frequently talk about the Torah value of caring for and being compassionate towards everyone. As a family, we proactively try to find ways to judge others favorably (even those people who throw stones at passing cars on Shabbos.)

- We invite all manner of religious and secular Jews to join our Shabbos meals each week and the kids are open, happy, and confident to welcome everyone. (No, we're not Chabad.) One of the many reasons for having such guests at our table is to teach the kids this lesson.

- While we would technically be classified as right-wing and we don’t at all buy the modern “Palestinian” narrative, we certainly don’t hate all Arabs, nor do we have any desire to expel them all from the land. We warmly welcome anyone seeking to dwell here with us in peace and we are pained and saddened to see the suffering and loss of lives of all innocent Arab families and children — as would any decent human being.

- Of the few local families I know whose kids no longer identify as religious, none at all chose to disown their kids. The very thought, in such lovingly family-dedicated communities, is hard to imagine. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying it's not as common as it's made out. Rather, these families have tirelessly, profoundly, compassionately committed to maintaining any connection with their children, and to emphasize that, no matter what, family is the most important thing. Because it is.

- We aren't just living our life blindly, dogmatically following empty religious rules; rather, we are frequently engaged with, exploring and discussing Torah's richness, depth and meaning. Our kids honestly love learning Torah, praying and doing mitzvos. They’re visibly excited about Shabbos and festivals. This lifestyle is in no way oppressive or burdensome for them. If you suggested to them it was, they’d laugh and think you were crazy.

- We Hareidim are normal people: we laugh, we cry, we buy too much Ikea furniture, and we struggle with all of life's daily ups and downs, just like the rest of you. Some of our communities are more healthy and balanced, some are less so; some of our people are warmer, nicer and more open, some are more closed, dogmatic and judgmental; some of our leaders are noble and upstanding, and some are quite frankly idiots…JUST LIKE ANY SECULAR NEIGHBORHOOD IN THE WORLD TOO. But having grown up living a secular lifestyle myself, and today being Hareidi-by-choice, I can testify that in these communities there is generally a greater and more tangible sense of well-being, warmth, tranquility, connection and meaning. We love and feel blessed to be living this life and wouldn’t want any other.

If this description of Hareidi life is hard to swallow, be careful not to push back with the often-used defenses like: "Well, you're just an exception to the rule...", "You're just American Hareidim", "You're baalei teshuvah", "Well, I know a bunch of Haredim that aren't like that at all"....because the truth is, while there might be many Hareidim who aren't like what I described above, it's still an accurate description of literally hundreds of thousands of Hareidim in Israel and the US — a decent portion of all Hareidim in the world. Which is my very point — how come you never see this significant Hareidi demographic represented in the media, television series, or the news? How come we mostly see the darkest and most problematic cliches instead?

And finally, if all the facts I've listed above about our communities are hard for you to accept as true, then perhaps the image you have in your head about Hareidim is less based on facts and reality and more based on stereotypes, fear, hate, and discrimination — like any other form of prejudice in the world.

Care to prove me wrong? Well, you're welcome to come argue it out with me and my family at our Shabbos table on Friday night. It would be a joy and honor to have you.

Doniel Katz

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theflashdriver · 4 years ago

Text

Waves of Fate (A Silvaze Modern/Soulmate AU)

Beaches were supposed to be happy places, books always described them that way at least. People came to the beach to have fun, to play games and relax. It was supposed place of joy, where smiles supposedly reigned supreme and you could count on the sun parting the clouds to grant a blue sky.

A grey sky hung over the pale white sands of the secluded, manmade, beach the belonged to the Sol estate. A family made wealthy through inheritance and investment; the sole monarchs of the estate had built themselves a high castle, separate from the common rabble, to settle and grow. Unfortunately for them however, perhaps due to their greed, the pair’s first and only child had arrived with a certain abnormality. That grey sky also hung over that very child, the twelve-year-old Blaze the cat, as she stared down at her workbook.

It was peculiar for her to take lessons by the beachside but, with some effort from her tutor to convince the feline’s parents, a bizarre and impromptu lesson had been quickly organised. Sat atop a thick picnic blanket, wearing a smile so caring that the young girl could practically feel it, was the in-house tutor for the estate, Vanilla. Contrary to the scowl Blaze wore as she carefully considered what to write next, the youngster didn’t dislike the rabbit. She had in fact, even at this young age, come to truly appreciate the role the tutor filled. The feline’s parents were always either distracted or busy, she couldn’t particularly tell or care which, but Vanilla, a mother herself, always found time to listen and care. Even in situations like this… even when the young girl claimed that she wanted nothing more than to be alone.

“How’s it going Blaze? Are you stuck?” Stubborn as ever, trying not to listen, the kitten bit her tongue, “You don’t need to write too much, just think of this as practice writing letters.”

Attempting to make a show of it, the feline (dressed in dungarees rather than her school uniform) silently continued her cursive work until she harshly dotted the end of a sentence, “I’m fine Vanilla,” As she looked up and caught the rabbit’s eyes, Blaze realised that, though she had technically answered the question, something further had been revealed. Of the people she knew, Vanilla was the only one who could peer into her heart and see the truth. The child’s eyes returned to the page, “I’m writing fine I just… you know…”

“I know you don’t believe in this and you think it’s foolish but that’s fine. A hint of whimsy is just what you need right now. Just think of it as a break from boring maths questions and everything else,” It was fortunate that the words everything else were cut off by a certain rummaging sound and a bread triangle entering the corner of her vision, “Gardon made these while I was talking with your parents, would you like to partake?”

Unable to resist her gentle charm any longer, regardless of how arduous today had been, Blaze set her book aside and claimed the wrapped meal with a muted, “Thank you.”

“It’s not the best day for a picnic, but it’s far from the worst,” Vanilla mused, claiming a sandwich of her own, “Not too windy and the forecast doesn’t call for rain, it’ll be smooth sailing for your letter.”

“Assuming it doesn’t just wash back onto the beach,” She glumly shrugged, undoing the wrapping and taking her first bite. Salmon, probably fresh from this morning. Once she’d swallowed, Blaze couldn’t help but look up to her tutor again, “Is it really cold? Are you okay?”

“Oh, no, dear. It’s not that cold, just a little chilly. I’ll be fine, honestly,” Blaze met her smile with an incredulous stare. The rabbit’s face somehow grew even softer, “Well, I suppose I wouldn’t mind just a little warming up,” Without even hesitating, the tutor reached across again; this time an empty hand was extended.

Blaze took the comparatively large hand in her own and, trying her hardest to be gentle, allowed a few small flames to build on the back of her knuckles. The heat immediately began to radiate, even though the flames were stagnant in terms of both position and size. Absentmindedly, ears drooping without their owner’s consent, she spoke, “It’s not hard to control them when I’m comfortable. It’s easier when it’s just you and me.”

“I know dear but, one day, it’ll be easy all the time. I’m certain of it,” Vanilla promised, drawing back her hand and pressing it to her cheeks, “That was lovely of you, thank you.”

A half mile behind them, in the estate’s main building, cindered remains were likely still being swept up. An attempt to set up a playdate with the children of another wealthy family hadn’t gone over well, but the issue wasn’t as mundane as that. To say Blaze didn’t get along with the other children was certainly an understatement, the feline’s very first encounter with those infants had ended in tears and a ball of fire. Today, when her parents refused to see reason, a similar explosive display had ignited the living room couch before spreading to the wallpaper. Of course, plans were in place for this sort of occurrence, the house’s sprinkler system had gone off, but it hadn’t cooled her parent’s scorn. She’d scarcely been able to dry herself and change before Vanilla had plucked her from the house.

“You’re welcome,” Was all she could manage to mumble.

“And whoever gets this letter will surely love you for your gift,” A seriousness lingered in the rabbit’s tone, despite the multiple layers of foolishness behind her claim, “Not despite it.”

Blaze scoffed before quickly finishing her sandwich, not yet returning to her work, “Who even thought this superstition up? I know I’ve read about it before but never like this…”

“This one in particular was thought up by the wives and children of widow sailors, as tragic as that is,” The bunny half cringed, “As I’ve told you, when a destined pair send messages out to sea, they’ll receive a sign of their connection. The ocean will take you letter and, just and only this once, deliver it to your soulmate as long as it meets the right conditions.”

“It has to be fully written by one person, it can’t include that person’s name, physical description, hints to find that person or to try and organise a meeting. It also has to be the first message a person sends to sea and no one else is allowed to read it until it reaches the intended individual,” Blaze recalled aloud, “Making it seem all the more pointless. All you can really tell them is what you’re like and what’s happening to you and, regardless, it’s not going to reach anyone. How are you even going to mark this if you’re not allowed to read it?”

“Come on Blaze, when I was your age, I wanted so badly for a handsome prince to sweep me off my feet. I must have rewritten my letter a hundred times,” Vanilla chastised, plainly ignoring the kitten’s question, “You can tell them what you think loving them will be like, your hopes and dreams. No one else will ever get to read it, only you and them,” Admittedly, that was true. Whatever she wrote down here would likely be lost to the sea, “And even if it doesn’t work, no one who finds it would ever know it came from you. It’s a thought exercise as much as it is a writing one, a way to air your frustrations and ambitions.”

The kitten claimed her journal again, trying her hardest to ignore the cloudy sky above. For whatever reason, her pen felt heavier than it had just a moment prior. She let her thoughts flow onto the page, their pace kept by a modest barrier of consideration, and tried her hardest not to overdo it. In truth, she’d never really considered what she wanted from a partner or what a partner might want from her. Did she even want a partner? Part of her didn’t, and she was certain that would come across in her writing, but she couldn’t deny that she saw the appeal. The idea of someone loving her for her flames was more than a little farfetched but someone who could see past them and still love her? Someone who actively, genuinely, wasn’t afraid of her? How could she say no to that?

Finally, Blaze clicked her pen closed. Vanilla perked up, “Is it done?”

“I think so…” The young feline hummed before drawing her eyes to the page and giving it a final read.

To whomever comes to possess this note,

I hope we can meet and that, when we do, that the reason behind our link becomes clear rather than being the mere whim of coincidence. I have been instructed that, in this letter, I am to tell you about myself. While I was born into fortuitous circumstances, I have not lived the most fortunate of lives: though I am privileged in some ways, I am far more socially handicapped than the majority of my peers. I handle criticism poorly as I always try to give my all, regardless of the actual importance of any given assignment.

My peers don’t think too highly of me, many of them fear me, but the few truly close to me claim that I am mature for my age and intelligent. I’ve recently started to play the violin and have practiced ballet for as long as I can remember. As for other interests, though they’ll undoubtedly change by the time we meet, classical literature and music has always appealed to me. If we are destined to be together then I doubt you are a pilot, so this is probably unimportant, but I do have a fear of heights. I’m sorry if you wanted more details but I’m quite confused as to what is safe to include, in accordance with this dubious tradition.

I don’t think I’m the easiest person to love, both for reasons that should become clear to you and my inherent defensiveness. Though my investment in this idea of soulmates may be limited, the thought that there is someone out there who will love me for who I am is, undeniably, appealing. I may not be the best at displaying how I feel but, if we are to care for each, I will try my best to show you that I care. To be honest, I don’t know what to expect or to ask of you beyond that you keep an open mind if we do meet. Perhaps, just as this rumour being true would, you will surprise me.

Please stay safe and write soon, from your soulmate.

“It’s a little… melancholy,” Blaze admitted, trying not to wince, “But I don’t want to rewrite it. It’s good enough.”

It was all written in her neatest handwriting, entirely cursive and eloquent. There wasn’t a single spelling error, not one that she could identify at least, and it looked professional enough? She’d written it in the manner she’d learned to write all of her letters and, perhaps, that was a little too formal for the occasion. Then again, it wasn’t as though it would actually reach anyone.

And, of course, she hadn’t mentioned her flames; not in explicit terms at least.

“Is it how you truly feel?” Vanilla questioned, “Is it how you want to introduce yourself to them.”

Blaze took another moment, considering it for just a moment more, before tearing the paper from her jotter and rolling it into a tight scroll, “Yes.”

The tutor turned to rummage through her bag again, this time drawing forth three things: a ribbon to bind the note, a small (cleaned and untinted) glass bottle and a whittled down cork from an old wine bottle. Blaze took the ribbon first, gently securing her note, and trying not to crumple it, before gingerly sliding it into the bottle’s narrow mouth. She let Vanilla secure the cork in place, not much trusting that it’d hold if she did it. Then though, curiously, the rabbit produced another object from her bag. A small violet tealight, brand new and untouched.

“I think it might be nice to seal the bottle in your own, unique, way,” The rabbit explained, tilting the cantle upside down and holding it above the now sealed bottle, “With a little bit of fire, we can make a wax lid.”

The tealight exchanged hands, Vanilla held the bottle in place. Just as her prior heating, the tutor was likely the only one who would trust her to do this. Well, perhaps Gardon would too on a good day. Blaze snuck her forefinger around the tealight’s metal casing and birthed a burgeoning flame directly into the wax. The reaction was almost immediate, purple, lavender scented, wax began to drip down in gooey clumps and gather atop the cork. It took a while, and some shifting, to completely cover both the entryway. Most of the candle was diminished by the time it was done, the bubbling mass gradually cooling on the glass.

Vanilla drew it back, gently blowing on it, “Good job, Blaze. That’s perfect.”

In the silence that hung as the wax cooled, Blaze couldn’t help but dwell on her future a little. She knew she was young, far too young to be seriously considering these things, most children her age would still be focused on becoming a pop singer or filling some other extravagant niche. Her parents wanted her to focus on law, become a judge or an attorney, but, despite how important those callings were, they didn’t appeal to her. The only thing she knew that she wanted was to be away from here, to find somewhere that she could settle herself and actually be free to think, but that was so long away. She was bound to this place, bound to her parents, for the-

A gentle hand pushed up the feline’s chin and brought her to look the elder rabbit in the eye, “You might not meet whoever gets this letter for some time, but I promise you, Blaze, you will find them. You won’t be here forever; you feel so trapped forever. With their help or otherwise, I know you’ll do great things.”

The tutor rose, passing the bottle to its first owner. The kitten stumbled to her feet, taking it but quickly reaching out and holding her teacher’s hand. Barren white sand crunched underfoot, the clouds refused to part even now. It wasn’t long until she was at the cusp of the water, the lapping waves mere centimetres from the toe of their shoes. The older of the two drew up the hem of her skirt, Blaze awkwardly fumbled with her dungaree’s legs before retaking the rabbit’s hand. Vanilla took the first step into the foamy waters, but Blaze was quick to follow after. They waded until the sea reached the young feline’s knee, a glance from Vanilla informed her that was far enough.

Gently, Blaze set the bottle in the water. They stood for a moment, just to see that it would leave their sight. The tide was receding, they’d see the bottle bob above the waves every so often as it was gradually being carried towards the horizon. It was off to either meet with a watery grave or find some person somewhere else in the world.

“Well, now we just have to wait and see,” The rabbit smiled, turning and gently retaking her hand, “I’m sure it’ll reach someone wonderful. I can’t wait to see you two together. Its been so long since I’ve seen young love, I’m sure your Prince Charming will be wonderful.”

“M-Miss Vanilla,” The little girl couldn’t help but whine, “I don’t want a Prince.”

“Oh? What is it you want then?” She asked, nearing the water’s end.

“I don’t know…” Blaze murmured, giving it just half a moment’s thought, “I just want a friend. I just want someone else who will be nice to me.”

“Can’t they be both?” Vanilla laughed, taking the first step onto dry land.

The young girl hadn’t considered that, but she wasn’t sure that she liked it. She was about to speak up in defiance when she felt something peculiar. A wave had passed behind her, lapping just above her heels, but it had hit differently somehow. It’d almost felt too hard.

Turning to look over her shoulder, Blaze frowned as her eyes scanned the water. Among the waves, hitched in the sand, was a bottle. Had her note followed them back? Breaking off from Vanilla, the young girl crouched to get a closer look. Something about this bottle looked different. It wasn’t sealed with wax, it had a screw on lid. What’s more, this bottle was tinted green. Dumbfounded, without so much as thinking, she reached down and plucked the bottle from the water.

“Miss Vanilla?”

-----------

Butterflies flapped in her stomach as though they were giant eagles pursuing some sort of endlessly evasive prey. Blaze the cat, age twenty-two, had just spent the last twelve hours traveling with three overstuffed suitcases and a violin case. She’d departed a train forty minutes ago and had been walking ever since but, prior to that, she’d endured two different taxi rides and a full four hours failing to ignore a window seat view on a flight. To say that she was exhausted would be an understatement, she’d travelled further from her home before but never on her own and never like this, but to say she was unhappy would be entirely false. Blaze the cat was free, free from the Sol estate and free from all that came with it. She had finally claimed control over her life.

She’d never thought that the violin would be her escape; music simply been her hobby, but it had borne an unimaginable fruit. She’d managed to land herself third chair in an orchestra with a high probability of moving further up the ranks. The concertmaster was apparently reaching her elder years, looking for a protégé and to breathe new life into the group. A well-placed audition tape and a handful of politely worded emails had secured her the position. Sure, the job as it was now wasn’t enough to fully support her, but with her education the feline was certain she’d manage to pick up another form of income.

That orchestra job had led her here, Station Square; a city filled to bursting with opportunity which just so happened to also contain a cheap apartment-share near the city’s centre. An application for said lodgings had brought her to the door she was now standing outside of, an entrance to the supposed accommodation that persisted above an old pizzeria. She didn’t know where she’d anticipated her life to restart but the fact it was somewhere this plain honestly excited her. No more private beach; she had to build her own luxury.

First impressions were important, she’d been chastised about them her entire life. She’d tried to dress modestly, what few of her more expensive outfits she’d brought she intended to sell online. Her hair was fixed into a tall ponytail that almost crowned her head, a ponytail that she’d already remade five times today. A long brown trench coat, the brown top button of which she redid, was successfully obscuring a comfortable striped t-shirt and (surprisingly expensive yet unassuming) bootcut jeans.

Once she was certain everything was in place and she had some form of greeting in mind, she dared to press the grimy electric buzzer. Almost immediately, a slightly overloud and static riddled voice answered her call, “Hello? Is that Blaze?”

“Yes, hello. I take it this is the residence of Silver the hedgehog?” She answered.

“Yeah, that’s me! It’s so nice to finally meet you, I hope…” He seemed to catch himself mid-sentence, though he went quiet, the buzzing persisted, “Oh, oops, I should probably open the door. Sorry! I’ll be right down!”

The buzzing finally faded and, once again, Blaze was left alone. That was the first time she’d ever heard his voice and, admittedly, she hadn’t been able to hear it very well. He sounded a lot more excitable than she’d truly anticipated. Their communication up until now had been limited to brief emails and, as a result, she didn’t actually know very much about the man she’d be living with for the foreseeable future. He had no criminal record, the flat itself both looked nice and was affordable, but beyond his job working in the museum and need for an additional housemate, that was the limit of her knowledge. Well, that and the picture attached to his=

Before Blaze could ponder on it for any longer, the white painted door before her swung open and a figure practically burst into view. She wasn’t sure who or what she’d expected out of this museum worker, but she certainly wasn’t this. A set of seven ludicrously long quills immediately consumed Blaze’s vision, followed by a set of excitable yellow eyes and a vaguely sun-kissed muzzle. He was rather peculiarly dressed too; he wore a jumper with a strangely low cut that allowed a seemingly endless flare of white chest fur to slip free. As if that wasn’t odd enough, he wore gloves that were lit by a bizarre cyan symbol on both their front and back.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Blaze!” His smile matched his eyes so very perfectly.

“It’s nice to meet you too, Silver,” She half bowed, already feeling a little overwhelmed. The picture she’d seen had made him look demurer, his quills had been tied back and he’d been in his work uniform. She truly hadn’t considered that he’d be a head taller than her.

Almost immediately, he seemed to notice her luggage. Without even blinking, he gestured past her, “Oh, you must be exhausted. I can help with those!” Blaze’s surprise transmuted into total befuddlement at what happened next. With that wave of the hedgehog’s hand, those cyan symbols began to glow much brighter and Blaze heard shifting behind her. Before she could turn, all four of her bags had taken to the air and hovered above her head, “I’ll take them up and show you around, come on.”

She stood in the doorway for a moment, entirely dumbfounded. She knew people with powers like hers existed, but they were rare enough that she had never met another. To think that the first person she’d ever stay with, the first person she’d encounter, was capable of such a feat though? This Silver was filled to burst with surprises. Catching herself though, butterfly-eagles still running rampant in her stomach, Blaze began to give chase.

The hallway leading up to the flat itself wasn’t very well lit, but it was homely enough. It led up to a landing where (judging by the small pile) shoes were supposed to be kicked off. Following it was a glass door that immediately opened into a small and very well stocked kitchen. It didn’t smell like anything was cooking at the moment but, judging by the drying rack, he had been hard at work.

“I cook quite a lot,” As he called back, Blaze couldn’t help but notice the hedgehog had gone from walking to floating amongst her luggage, “Are you much of a chef?”

“Not particularly,” Blaze admitted, nonchalantly. What few cooking lessons she’d received had gone especially poorly.

“Oh, well, if you’re ever in trouble or want to learn then let me know,” He offered, spinning back around to face forward, “I made a little something to celebrate your arrival, if you’re up for it.”

“Oh, thank you,” She said, now doubly surprised at his fast kindness.

Blaze took a sniff but, curiously, couldn’t smell whatever it was he’d mentioned. The hedgehog had clearly done a good job of cleaning up in preparation for her arrival, but then again… she had no idea whether the apartment had been messy in the first place. She passed an open door that seemed to lead into a small combination dining room and sitting room. Two patchwork couches sat near the room’s centre, a modest TV cresting just over them and a coffee table between them.

“Is this a violin case?” He called back, drawing her attention away from the room.

“Yes, it is,” She responded, noticing that he’d turned mid-flight and was now hovering the violin between them, “I’m joining city’s orchestra. I’ll need to practice fairly often, but if there’s ever a time you need quiet then feel free to say.”

“Oh, no, free to play it all you want honestly, the place downstairs just does take away and, apparently, the floor is pretty well soundproofed,” He said, that excitement still clinging to his voice as he landed outside a door, “That’s amazing, I’ve always wanted to meet a violinist. I can’t wait to hear you play, you must be wonderful!”

“I’m well practiced,” She coyly admitted, not used to barrages of kindness (let alone praise). She could feel herself locking up but tried to fight it, “Is this my room?”

“Oh, yeah. It is,” The hedgehog nodded, patting himself down before seeming to realise something. With a wave of his hand up the hallway, Blaze watched as a small set of keys raced their way from the kitchen area to float in front of her, “Almost forgot these.”

“Th-Thank you,” Blaze cursed her stutter, plucking them from the air. They found their way to the lock but, before she dared to push inside, she decided to feed her curiosity. He seemed so very open, it couldn’t hurt to pry, “How long have you been able to do that?”

“For as long as I can remember. It comes in pretty handy around the house, if you ever need anything moved then just say,” He grinned, clearly somewhat proud to have made a positive impression with his powers.

“I see,” She hummed, turning the key. She certainly wasn’t comfortable immediately revealing her power to him but, then again, her name was probably a bit of a give-away. Ideally, he wouldn’t question it, “It does seem rather useful.”

Blaze pushed the door open and found herself faced, for the first time today, with a sight she’d expected. The room wasn’t even half the size of her prior bedroom, its walls were both blank and painted off-white. Unlike the other rooms in the house, a grey carpet persisted underfoot. Blaze watched as her bags hovered through the door and landed inside in a small, neat, pile.

“I know it’s not especially stunning, but the landlord says you can decorate it if you want. I did my room up a couple months ago, before I moved in. It’s easier than you think, I’d be happy to help,” Blaze couldn’t tell whether it was due to her cold expression or some sudden realisation, but the hedgehog seemed to falter and turn away, “S-Sorry, I’ve never had a flatmate before, I guess I’m a little overexcited.”

“You haven’t?” She questioned though, in hindsight, the underdeveloped room spoke volumes.

“I’ve moved from place to place quite a lot, living in tiny, two-room, apartments,” He explained.

“Well, I’m sure we’ll manage to figure this out between the two of us,” She wanted to give a reassuring smile but was fairly certain it would only scare him off. It seemed like neither of them were particularly good at this, “Thank you, Silver.”

“I’ll leave you to get comfortable. If you need anything I’ll just be, uh, in here,” He tapped the door opposite, assumedly his bedroom, “There’s an en suite in your room and, um, I think that’s everything? If you need me then just call.”

Blaze nodded and allowed herself the smallest of smiles, “Perhaps, once I’ve put everything away, we could look over the paperwork?”

“Oh, sure, okay! Just say when,” He managed to grin again, ducking back into his room but not bothering to close the door.

Blaze matched him, stepping inside and heaving a sigh of relief. She’d made it through her first interaction with her flatmate, she’d made it to her new home, she was so close to relaxation. There was a small, single, bed against the wall with a tiny wooden bedside cabinet next to it. A reasonably sized, yet still small in her experience, closet was set up against the far wall and she could see the door that likely led to the bathroom. This was liveable, she could do this, it was just the first step in something new.

Unpacking her clothes and amenities took quite a lot longer than she’d anticipated, getting everything onto hangers and into the right place was relaxing albeit slow. There was nowhere especially practical to place her violin so it’d ended up propped against the far wall for the foreseeable future. The final of her bags still sat where Silver had placed it, entirely filled. Vanilla had packed it for her, saying its contents were mere food and cutlery, but she had made the feline promise not to open it until she was settled in her new home. Well, it was finally time.

Blaze hoisted the bag onto her freshly made bed, immediately creasing her work but not especially minding. She quickly brought the zip around, popping the top open, and was stunned by what she saw. The rabbit hadn’t lied, cutlery and non-perishables of all sorts filled the base of the bag, but a small note affixed to an object that Blaze hadn’t even thought about in almost ten years sat atop the other goods. A certain bottle that had washed up on the beach just after she had sent her own message to sea.

Vanilla’s note was short and simple, “Enjoy your new life, don’t forget to write and remember, they’re out there somewhere,” Concluded with a small, winking, smiley face.

Slipping onto the bed, Blaze found herself cradling both the note and the bottle. While that day on the beach stuck out in her mind like a sore thumb, perhaps due to the familial chaos that had come before it, the contents of this bottle did not. She hadn’t thought about that day often, especially not in the latter six of those twelve years, but whenever a book or a person mentioned the concept of soulmates she’d recall but never mention the occurrence. Admittedly, the young feline had long accepted that the note had in fact been written by Vanilla in an attempt to cheer her up following her childish strop. She didn’t believe in such nonsense then and she certainly didn’t now. Still, what was the harm in giving the coincidental note another read for nostalgia’s sake?

Blaze unscrewed the lid, giving the green aluminium top a quick once over before setting it on her bedside table. Wherever it had come from, the bottle had long lost any identifiable markings, but it was more bulbous than that containing any drink she’d ever had. She managed to get a finger in and, with some difficulty, pluck the note free. The sheet felt more like card than paper and was riddled with creases from its initial folding so many years ago. The handwriting was, admittedly, awful. She’d written her note as a child, but this letter looked to have been written with extreme haste. Regardless, due mostly to the large spaces between words, Blaze could make it all out.

It read:

“Hi there! If you’re reading this then I guess you know who I am? Just in case; I’m your soulmate! I can’t wait to meet you, I’m sure we’re going to get along great! I can’t write all that much about myself, otherwise the bottle will sink to the bottom of the sea, but I’m supposed to describe what I think our relationship might be like? But I’ve never been in one before, I’ve never had a soulmate before, so I’m not sure what to do or what to tell you.

People tell me that I’m a little blunt and that I wear my heart on my sleeve and that I’m pretty gullible. I’m not so sure, but I guess they’d know better than me? I really like sweet food! I can’t have a lot of it, we can’t really afford it, but that’s okay because it’s not good for me anyway. I also really like history books. The lost worlds of the past are so interesting to me and I’d love to discover more of them. I hope you like them too! I guess I can’t write about this too much, but I have a special skill that comes in useful quite a lot. It helps me tidy up and cook and get to all sorts of places, even ones I’m not really supposed to.

I don’t know you yet, but I hope you’re nice. I don’t really know a lot about love, a lot of my friends think it’s gross but not me! I think it’s nice knowing that there’s someone out there for me and I’m just waiting to meet someone. If I can make a difference, even if it’s just for one person, then I’ll be happy, so I’ll try my hardest to make you happy! I’m learning to cook and bake so you don’t have to worry about that, I can already make spaghetti!

Please stay safe and I can’t wait to read what you send me!

From your soulmate”

Blaze’s nose wrinkled as she reached the end of the note. She’d decided years ago that Vanilla had written this note, perhaps with her left hand so as to forge childish writing, but something was bothering her. The feline’s eyes traced back up the note, specifically lingering on the mention of a special skill that helped the individual to cook and clean. A foolish thought entered her head, a quiet whisper that was still loud enough to break the otherwise peaceful silence. Reading over the page again, the bluntness and earnestness mentioned further loudened that quiet voice.

Catching herself in her own stupidity, Blaze quickly rerolled the paper and returned it to its bottle. Not quite knowing what to do with it now, feeling a bizarre heat on her face, she set it on her bedside cabinet and threw her gaze to her lap. Attempting to escape the heat, and realising she’d been too distracted to do so earlier, she undid her jacket and shrugged it from her shoulders.

The occurrence ten years ago was just one of many bizarre occurrences in the flame producing feline’s life, she’d seen her fair share of oddness and coincidence. There was absolutely no way that this bottle had come from the person she was now living with, she’d long decided it was a forgery made to keep her happy. It wasn’t like anyone was pulling at the strings of fate. Even if Vanilla hadn’t made it, for a bottle from someone else, someone who clearly believed in the superstition, to have drifted to shore while she was out there... that was possible, wasn’t it? Just as it was possible she’d seen some vague familiarities between the man she’d just met and that note’s writer.

She took her head in her hands, she was being ridiculous. It must have all been induced by her nerves, she was in a new city and living with a stranger, of course she was going to overthink things. There was no way she’d just stumbled into living with her soulmate; she didn’t even believe in soulmates. She’d never believed in soulmates and now, of all times, wasn’t the time to start. Blaze rose from the bed, collected the goods from her remaining suitcase and made a beeline for the door.

When she stepped into the hall though, her eyes were unintentionally drawn through the askew door of his bedroom. Though she could only see perhaps the smallest quarter, assuming that their rooms were the same, she’d locked eyes with a corkboard. A corkboard with many sticky notes tacked to it but also a small, curled, notebook page stuck to it rather than pierced by a tack. With each passing second Blaze felt her face grow hotter and heard her thoughts grow evermore foolish. It was as though fate was tempting her to burst into the room and look at it, or at the very least ask him about it. But that was the height of foolishness, she’d surely sound insane or rude at the very best. What self-respecting adult believed in such a fairy-tale, let alone would discuss it with a new flatmate on the first day they’d even met! She couldn’t ask about that leaflet now of all times! That would look ridiculous!

His mention of always wanting to meet a violinist metamorphosed in her mind from a show of kindness to a potential deeply held honesty. She didn’t recall much of the letter she’d written, but Blaze knew that she’d listed some of her hobbies. She’d only just started to play the stringed instrument, it’d surely been included.

Finding herself lost and dazed in the hallway, Blaze couldn’t help but call out, “Silver?”

She heard what sounded like the hedgehog falling over before he rushed into the doorway, quills wildly tossed, “Hey, is everything alright?”

Blaze swallowed, “I’ve just got some stuff to put in the kitchen and I think I’m ready to sign the papers, as long as you’re not busy?”

“Oh no, don’t worry; I was just doing a little reading, let’s do it,” He beamed, taking to the air again and leading the way to the kitchen.

She felt an immediate impulse to enter his room, he’d left the door open, but Blaze knew that was foolish. No, the much louder thought in Blaze’s brain was questioning what he was reading. The hedgehog worked in a museum; it was likely that he liked to read about history. Even if he was, it would have just been another coincidence… but things were lining up more and more. What was today? Was this all just some bizarre dream?

Blaze begrudgingly followed the white hedgehog, finding herself analysing him more than she probably should. His fur and quills were unkempt but it wasn’t as though he was dirty, just fluffy. She supposed his fur must just have grown out like that. The strange cyan energy he produced seemed to let him guide both himself and objects through the air… perhaps even other people. Blaze could certainly see how useful this power would be for cleaning… it probably let him make multiple dishes and clean at the same time too, pending how it worked.

Heat flashed across her face again and, reflexively, she balled her fists. Though she’d long learned to keep her powers under control, their connection to her emotions was a constant worry. Embarrassment, of all emotions, was one she hadn’t yet managed to control. While it lacked the ferocity and excitability of anger, it was still especially important to keep it subdued. If she let them, these thoughts would do much more than reveal her power. She might burn down her new home before she could spend a night-

“Blaze?” His voice tore her from her thoughts, he’d made it to the kitchen while she’d frozen up in the hall, “Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine I’m just,” She scrambled for the right words, marching towards him, “I’ve not settled yet, I’m still getting used to this arrangement. Just getting my bearings.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” He nodded, still smiling so very brightly, “Take all the time you need. You said online that you’d never lived away from home before, right?”

“I’d visit hotels with my family but, outside that, yes,” Blaze answered, stepping into the kitchen, “I know I’m a little old for that to be the case but…”

“No, no. Don’t worry, I get it and I know it’s pretty scary,” He smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter, “I’ve moved around a lot and your first night in a new place is always weird, let alone your first time anywhere new,” His smile faltered just a little, he began to scratch among his quills, “I’m sorry if I’m making it worse. I’ve been trying to make things more comfortable but I’m probably going a little overboard, right?”

“N-No, no, you’re doing fine,” Blaze quickly replied but she knew that her stutter betrayed the truth. Her failure to convey what she was actually feeling was simultaneously a blessing and a curse this evening. She tried to smile, “Thank you, Silver.”

“It’s no problem. You can put your stuff wherever you want, but I cleaned these two cupboards out for you. I keep the pots and pans in the big drawer and the cutlery in the one above that,” He pointed, his grin slightly returning, “Oh and there should be enough fridge space, I hope?”

Setting the bag down again, Blaze quickly began to unload Vanilla’s parting gifts. She kept the hedgehog in the corner of her eye, watching as he pulled a magnet from the fridge and slid free a small bundle of papers. Assumedly, that was the lease. He then, seeming to realise he didn’t have a pen, gestured up the hall again. The face he, likely unknowingly, pulled as he reached for the pen was far too serious, his soft features barely allowed for it. He seemed very innocent, harmless even; judging by his apologies, despite his attempts to appear confident, this was surely all very new to him too.

“Is something wrong? Is there not enough space?” He asked, catching her staring.

“N-No, no. It’s fine, there’s more than enough,” She quickly looked away, shoving bushels of pasta into the cupboard as she tried her damnedest not to ignore the little voice screaming inside her. The voice that kept repeating the line in that note, that the writer was often described as wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Too many pieces of this non-existent puzzle were lining up, far too many. As she shifted to put away her cutlery, lost in thought, she very almost knocked into him. Even if it was all somehow true, even though that was entirely possible, then that didn’t actually mean anything. It wasn’t like just knowing some miraculous coincidence had happened meant they were bound to stay together forever or fall in love or whatever. She didn’t know him, he didn’t know her either! They’d hardly even talked!

As the last pan clattered into place, Blaze dared to throw another glance his way. The hedgehog had set the paperwork down on the unit and entered the fridge. Blaze hadn’t ever looked for a relationship before and she certainly hadn’t intended to now. She hadn’t really looked at boys or girls or anyone for that matter, but something was bothering her. Perhaps it was just a result of his earnestness, perhaps it was because he looked so fluffy and soft, but there was something almost… charming about him. Was he attractive? Was he cute? Beauty was supposed to be in the eye of the beholder and this beholder had literally no idea what she found attractive.

The moment his bright yellow eyes hit hers, she understood that aspect of herself just a little better. He’d leaned out of the fridge, having not actually taken anything, “I noticed that we need a witness, do you know anyone else around here who you’d like to be it? I can witness it if that’s okay with you but, you know, don’t want to impose or anything. Landlord owns the place downstairs and said you can just leave it there.”

“I-I’m fine with that, yes,” She quickly rose to stand straight, taking the pen and papers from him, “Don’t worry, Silver. I’m just getting my bearings; you’ve been nothing but helpful.”

His smile returned, the spark of joy in those eyes rocked Blaze to her core, “If you’re sure. I’ll leave you to it then.”

Blaze quickly threw her eyes toward the document. She’d read it before online, of course she had, but it was her only escape! She quickly filled in her share before blindly passing the sheet back to Silver for his witness confirmation signature, pretending to be distracted by the spice rack.

When she finally dared to look at him, Blaze found that Silver had casually let go of the objects he’d gathered and left them to hang in the air. Though she’d tried to fight it, Blaze couldn’t help but peer at his handwriting. He’d signed his name twice, both on the landlord’s copy and her own. It’d been at least ten years since the message in the bottle had been written, of course the writer’s handwriting would have changed over that time, but Blaze couldn’t help noticing the slightly scrawled nature of his penmanship. His handwriting wasn’t bad per say but it wasn’t in cursive, and it certainly wasn’t what you’d call neat. Though she longed to think of it in any other way, that was yet another strike in the soulmate column.

“Oh, um,” The hedgehog’s hand returned to his quills, “I don’t know if you’ve had dinner or anything, and you don’t need to eat it if you don’t want it, but I was so excited for you coming so,” He gestured into the fridge, “I made a cheesecake. Feel free to grab a slice whenever, it looks like it's properly set now.”

The hedgehog couldn’t just cook, he could bake. Alone that fact would mean nothing but, with all this compiling evidence, Blaze felt her head spin and more heat jumped to her face. She shifted by him, glancing into the fridge, and sure enough, there it sat. A biscuit base topped with a creamy yellow mass and decorated with what looked to be some kind of cherry or strawberry jell or jam. She took hold of the door to steady herself, feeling the heat gather and gather on her face until a single spark ignited near the tip of her nose and, with a small pop, burgeoned into a flame. Blaze ran her free hand down her face, snuffing it immediately, but the thoughts that prompted it still ran rampant in her mind.

“Eh, Blaze? Are you okay?” She heard him shift and felt him looking over her shoulder, standing so very close, “You’ve gone all red.”

She had no idea how much of that he’s seen but, regardless, his innocence was astounding. His reaction to that pop and a palpable burst of heat from the fridge wasn’t to question what had happened but if she was okay. His concern for her was so very plain, his heart truly was fastened to his sleeve, he truly was very naïve. She had no idea what his life had been like up until this point, no idea who he really was just as he had no idea who she truly was. They were just a pair of very socially awkward individuals, albeit in very different ways, who happened to have collided due to the machinations of either fate or coincidence. She still couldn’t just up and tell him about these thoughts or the message she’d received but, regardless of them and whether this was fate or not, it was only right that she got to the bottom of this.

“I-I’ll have some if you will,” She blurted out, turning away from the fridge and towards him. Though embarrassment was surely twisting her face into a grimace, he still looked so kindly, “Maybe we should have a sit down and… get to know each other a little better?” The day’s travel had run her ragged, but nothing could compare to this past fifteen minutes, “I think we have a lot to talk about.”

#silvaze #Silver the Hedgehog #Blaze the Cat #sonic the hedgehog #soulmate #fanfiction

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fangsforthevenom · 7 months ago

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WE NEED ~5 VOTES TO PULL AHEAD ACCORDING TO MY (DUBIOUS) MATH!!! LETS GO GANG (on the verge of tears

(Masterpost)

Rules: - Vote for one of these two characters based on who you personally think should win. It can be anything from "I follow aseriesofunfortunatejan and she talks about this character way more" to "I know this guy and not the other guy" passing by "who are these? This one's hotter" and of course "holy shit this is ALSO my blorbo" - You may reblog this poll and you may even talk about why you voted for who you voted! - You may NOT complain about the other character if you dislike them! These characters are all the poll runner's beloveds and the goal of this tournament is to have fun, be silly, be nice, eat hot chip.

Since this is the last round, you are heavily encouraged to write public propaganda for who you think should win!

Introductions and propaganda (under the cut):

Sebastian Debeste (Yumihiko Ichiyanagi) is a beloved loser from the second title in the Ace Attorney Investigations series. Should he win because he is, after all, "debeste"? Or would it be more in-character to... pathetically... fail...? I love Sebastian to bits and there's a reason why I'm not the only one. My followers may be familiar with his noggin because I drew him a bunch in the past, during an event called SEBtember centred around him. He is touching and iconic. Does this mean he should win my blorbo tournament?

Korekiyo Shinguuji is a staple of my blog. It hasn't happened in a while, but two of my character essays get recognised in the wild - my first Shinguuji essay and my "in defence of Mika Shimotsuki" essay. (But yous voted Shimotsuki out, so that probably doesn't hold a lot of weight.) If you've followed me for a while, you've probably seen a few of my "oh no. I thought about Shinguuji." posts in your lifetime. I don't know why he eats at me like this. I hear he's a little fucked up, actually, but that's just a rumour. Wasn't he reformed and a teacher now anyway? (/ref). Danganronpa is also a fandom I am known for, so that could influence your vote. (Do I have a tulpa?) Anyway, does all of this mean he should win my blorbo tournament?

It finally comes down to this... I'm so relieved it's not Sebastian VS Simon. Danganronpa VS Ace Attorney. Story of my life. I feel like I already know who's going to win. But both of these characters have stans. Will this poll in particular find its audience?

If you love one or both of these characters, I'd be happy to talk about them with you!

#PLEASE?!!!!???#😭😭#korekiyo

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montagnarde1793 · 5 years ago

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Ribbons of Scarlet: A predictably terrible novel on the French Revolution (part 4)

Parts 1, 2, 3 and 5.

Inaccuracies: the minor, the inconsistent, the fuck no and the unintentionally hilarious

I have no intention of detailing every historical inaccuracy in this book. I’d say we’d be here all day, but we’ve already been here all day, so maybe all week?

The book is riddled with minor errors, oversimplifications and dubious interpretations — some of which could be chalked up in theory to writing from a limited POV, but this is not a book that allows for that kind of complexity. Opinions may be those of the characters, but explanations for events and who belongs to what group and so on tend to be those of the authors regardless of which character is speaking.

Given the level of detail of this book, I would count things like Condorcet’s being made a member of the Constituent Assembly or the Revolutionary Tribunal being founded by September 1792 minor errors. They might even have been deliberate (combining the Constituent and the Legislative Assemblies or the Tribunal of 27 August and the Revolutionary Tribunal, for “simplicity”’s sake).

“Les Enragés” is also an official group and that’s their official self-designation in the world of this novel. Um. Ok.

Also things like the complete lack of self-awareness revealed by the assumption that because 21st century Americans consider omelettes a breakfast food this must be a universal constant.

Anyway, I find that kind of thing irritating but pretty inevitable. Errare humanum est and all that.

Other minor errors are forgivable in and of themselves, I suppose, but indicative of a larger lack of understanding, similar to some of the implausible scenarios the authors set up (cf. Manon Roland’s random trip to Caen).

There’s a moment, for example, when one of the figures on trial for “conspiracy” in the red shirt affair appeals to the crowd by saying “I am suspected merely because I am an émigré.” (p. 490) which is hilarious when you realize the fact of being an émigré and returning to France after the cut-off date was already punishable by execution — a law pushed among others by our friends the reasonable, moderate “Girondins.” And I say this not to condemn them (on this point, at least) — there were actual, serious arguments in support of such a law — but to highlight a trend. The authors have decided that certain figures are reasonable, so they give them what they consider to be reasonable opinions, whether or not those opinions line up with those they actually held and, as we’ll see, they’ve decided others are dangerous extremists, so likewise they only get to do things the authors consider extreme, or at best hypocritical.

Usually there’s at least some consistency to the errors — too much in fact, as noted. But the fanciful claim that the guillotine was painted red and that everyone who was executed was dressed in red to hide the blood is repeated more than once, before being replaced with the accurate assertion that dressing the condemned in red was reserved for assassins (also arsonists and poisoners, in accordance with the penal code of 1791).

More serious are the “errors” that serve a certain narrative, like the repeated assertion that Louis XVI abolished torture and notably execution by breaking on the wheel. Er… no he didn’t. I’m going to charitably assume that the authors just confused torture for the purposes of obtaining a confession with torture as a punishment. Louis XVI abolished the former, not the latter. That may seem like a nitpick, but they make a very big fuss about it.

People were still being broken on the wheel until the implementation of the Constituent Assembly’s penal code which provided that all executions should be equal and as quick and painless as possible — ultimately leading to the adoption of the guillotine. The first execution by guillotine is apparently such a crucial event that we have to implausibly have Louis XVI’s sister sneak out and witness it, but we’ll just ignore the fact that the “hero” La Fayette’s cousin bloodily repressed the mutiny of Swiss soldiers in Nancy resulting in a number of hangings and one man being broken on the wheel — repression that La Fayette applauded — in 1790, because 1790 is a year in which nothing happened.

Besides, as is well known, La Fayette never did anything wrong (Sophie de Grouchy forgives him for firing on her when she was petitioning for a republic in 1791 (p. 509-510) so you should too, I guess. Though while we’re here, her signing the Champ de Mars petition is a pretty unlikely scenario, actually, given that only the Cordeliers petition remained after the Assembly’s 15 July decree and that even before that Condorcet didn’t dare to sign his articles in favor of a much less democratic republic than the Cordeliers were advocating for Le Républicain (which prudently stopped publication after 15 July).)

The abolition of torture thing is merely one of a number of errors or exaggeratedly charitable interpretations of Louis XVI’s actions to fit the myth of the fundamentally well-meaning, soft-hearted reformer who was just in over his head. Mme Élisabeth’s violence, while I commend it for its accuracy, serves to highlight her brother’s pacifism. We’re meant to believe that of course it was nothing but revolutionary slander/conspiracy theories to think he was actually intending to use foreign troops to restore himself to absolute power, despite the overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Mme Élisabeth asserts that she would like that to happen but her brother would never and Manon Roland confirms it from her point of view too.

On a similar note, Condorcet gets his usual “consensual figure” treatment. We’re unsurprisingly fed the myth of Condorcet as the paragon of democracy and feminism, with nary a touch of ambiguity. Even Pauline Léon can only reproach him with being ineffectual. That’s par for the course, as is framing the people’s fears of grain speculation as a conspiracy theory at least from Sophie de Grouchy’s point of view, though nothing in the text contradicts her at any point (p. 61), but framing Condorcet’s pre-revolutionary math lectures at the Lycée as him and his wife opening a school for popular education and Sophie de Grouchy personally teaching Reine Audu to read at her husband’s invitation… That’s pretty disingenuous.

On the other hand, nothing is too awful to be believed without question of the “radical” revolutionaries, whether it comes from dubious sources (as regards the myths about Lamballe being stripped naked and/or raped before or — depending on the “source” — after being massacred, or about Charlotte Corday’s head being slapped by the executioner and her body examined for evidence of virginity, or Robespierre’s lusting over Émilie de Sainte-Amaranthe and personally participating in Catherine Théot’s rituals) or is just made up. Surely the September Massacres were bad enough without imagining that random bystanders — including children — were being raped and massacred in the streets? Since calling for the execution of adult royals based on their actual actions doesn’t sound sinister enough, let’s have Pauline Léon demand the massacre of Louis XVI’s underage children too!

On that note, I have to wonder whether part of the problem is that we’re so used to hearing about atrocities on a scale that dwarfs anything that happened in the 1790s that what the sources suggest — which could still be pretty ugly, don’t get me wrong — doesn’t live up to the hype. The French Revolution is built up in reactionary propaganda like it’s one of the periods of the worst violence in history. I suspect that it’s like with a scary movie: your imagination will conjure up something far scarier than what they could show you on screen. So, expecting to find horrors, you readily believe whichever sources (or “sources”) have the most of them and fill in the blanks when the sources don’t match up to your image of what terror, chaos and violence look like.

It’s basically just deductive reasoning: they say there was horrific violence, so I’m going to depict what must have happened according to my mental image of horrific violence. It’s no different really from deciding a character is reasonable and therefore giving them the opinions you find reasonable. But not only is this poor methodology (which perhaps you don’t care about, as a novelist), it sucks out everything that’s nuanced or complicated or surprising about history for the sake of flattering your own prejudices. And that’s a shame.

Anyway, as for the red shirt affair, it’s generally believed by historians to be a cynical maneuver on the part of the Committee of General Security* to make Robespierre look like a tyrant by executing a large group of supposed co-conspirators with would-be assassins Ladmirat/Ladmiral and Cécile Renault but needless to say — and following G. Lenotre’s lead — that’s not at all how it’s portrayed here. Robespierre is of course personally involved for his own (necessarily hypocritical) reasons. He wants Émilie de Sainte-Amaranthe but in this telling she and her family have reason to believe he’s cozying up to royalists like them for personal political gain too. Oh, also, Saint-Just and Fouquier-Tinville are lusting over Émilie de Sainte-Amaranthe too, because why the fuck not?

*To use the misleading standard translation (sûreté ≠ sécurité)

Particularly ludicrous is the insinuation that not only did the Convention abolish slavery entirely as an expedient — which, to be fair, some historians argue, though there’s ample evidence that proves there was more to it than that — but that they had to because otherwise the British and Spanish would come to the slaves’ aid first. As if the plantation owners were not doing their level best to deliver their colonies over to the British precisely to preserve slavery. That bit was just insulting.

But you know, why let a little thing like reality interfere with dividing the world into reasonable people and hypocritical demagogues and the mobs that they incite, am I right?

And it’s often the absence of certain realities that poses the greatest problem. Like, counterrevolutionaries aren’t a real threat, that’s all a figment of the revolutionaries’ imagination... but as usual this idea coexists uncomfortably with the existence of actual counterrevolutionaries in the narrative.

The war, which dominated everyone’s reality from 1792 onward, is barely mentioned. Manon Roland is made to treat the idea that the Prussians were well positioned to march on Paris after the surrender of Verdun as an absurd rumor (p. 268-269) and we’re meant to agree. (This was very much not an imaginary threat, if you didn’t know.)

Also! Get ready because I’m going to cite Serna favorably for once:

Il est frappant de noter combien l’historiographie s’est de suite intéressée aux massacres de Paris et aux prisonniers d’Orléans, sans vraiment porter son intérêt sur les morts civils sur le front et la mise à sac des villes et villages à la frontière, deux poids deux mesures qui ne peuvent qu’interroger.

– Pierre Serna, « « La France est république » : Comment est né le Nouveau Régime dans le Patriote français de Brissot » dans Michel Biard, Philippe Bourdin, Hervé Leuwers et Pierre Serna, dir., 1792. Entrer en République, Paris, A. Colin, 2013, NP, note 37.

(Translation: “It’s striking to note how the historiography took an immediate interest in the massacres in Paris and the prisoners of Orléans, without really getting interested in the civilian deaths at the front and the sacking of cities and towns along the border, a double standard that we can’t help but question.”)

I mean, we know why: military violence, up to and including every kind of war crime, is normal and expected as long as it’s a proper war conducted between two foreign powers (though the various foyers of civil war also don’t really come up in this book). But yeah, that is a pretty big fucking hypocritical double standard, isn’t it? And one that this particular novel reflects rather than invents (as is also true of many of its other flaws, to be entirely fair).

It’s also particularly ironic, for a book that touts itself as feminist, that the real gains made by women regarding inheritance, marriage redefined as a contract between equal partners dissolvable by divorce, the rights of single mothers and illegitimate children and so on — even if the periods of Reaction that followed reversed them — are nowhere to be seen. Nor do we see women voting on the constitution of 1793 or fighting in the army or any of a number of things real women did. I concede that no one novel can be expected to show everything, but given the things they bent over backward to include, would it have been so difficult to include things that are thematically relevant?

This wouldn’t even piss me off so much except for the way Pauline Léon’s storyline ends. Her arc consists of her being convinced of the folly of those of her beliefs that the author doesn’t approve of so that she can be used as a mouthpiece for the moral the author wants us to take from all this and then being forced into marriage because she gets pregnant. And I cite (p. 433):

They would silence us all.

One woman at a time.

First the Angel of Assassination. Then Widow Capet, who had once been queen. Olympe de Gouges five days ago. Now proud Manon Roland.

A professed Girondin, Manon was still against tyranny and had been an advocate for the republic since the dawn of the Terror. Once, I wouldn’t have been able to admit that, but I could admit it now. Now that it’s too late.

And, when she tells Théophile Leclerc he got her pregnant, he replies (p. 435):

“‘We must marry. You’ve no other choice,’” he continued when I didn’t respond. […]

We had wanted liberty in France. But what freedom was there now? I had none. Théo would possess me utterly. I knew it, because the look her gave me had me wanting to crumble to the ground. All the choices I’d fought years for had been stripped away.

And now, I was nothing.

If there’s one point in history before the last 50 years or so that that’s not true it’s in 1793, when this scene is set. Will she be more comfortably off if she marries? Yes, and that would unfortunately be true pregnant or not. But there’s nothing forcing her to marry him if she doesn’t want to and even if she does he doesn’t own or control her under revolutionary marriage law. Were things perfect for women in 1793? Of course not, but given that they were a lot worse both before and especially after, I’m more than a little sick of 1793 being portrayed as the most misogynist of all the misogynist eras.

Ironically though, they omit Amar’s report and the closing of women’s political societies* which is a far more relevant and accurate point if you’re trying to make the case for revolutionary misogyny. Not to mention, it’s kind of baffling to leave it out of Pauline Léon’s storyline as it was targeted against the society she led in particular. (Her section ends instead with Manon Roland’s execution.) But I guess that would require introducing Amar and we can’t have people believing that Robespierre, Danton and Marat weren’t the only Montagnards; they might get confused otherwise. Maybe at this point I should just be glad they didn’t give Robespierre Amar’s speech in the name of consolidation of characters?

*NB, mixed societies were never closed (until the Thermidorian Reaction shut down all political clubs), so the result is a bit more ambiguous than is often claimed.

Anyway. We’ll finally conclude this mess in the next part…

#en anglais #French Revolution #Révolution française

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homeremodelingatlanta7b · 4 years ago

Text

Determining a Kitchen Remodeling Budget

Basement remodeling atlanta

It is very important to find out a financial budget for virtually any do it yourself project, and kitchen remodeling isn't exception.

A thing of caution: I spent hrs researching kitchen remodeling cost and budgeting online to accumulate data with this article. I ran into a few websites that gave size pricing for kitchen remodeling. Although I commiserate using look for an easy approach to determine remodeling pricing, this kind of advice just isn't based in reality. Remodeling jobs normally are so specific to the conditions of the building and tastes from the homeowner that no square footage pricing is ever going to starting point. I additionally encountered many sites that didn't offer you any real information about establishing a budget but basically interpreted Hanley Wood's Remodeling Cost vs. Value report that's published annually. You happen to be far better off going to the Cost vs. Value report on the web and evaluating the final results yourself.

home remodeling marietta

Like other things in this world a kitchen remodel will cost more than you thought it would and the sky's the limit about what it can cost determined by your preferences. You can find multiple factors that go into determining a remodeling budget.

There are numerous places online you can check out help you establish a basic budget number to start with. Our recommendation is Remodeling Magazine's Cost vs. Value Report which is released by region and major city each year. The truly nice thing about this report would it be provides description from the "average" project to help you gauge in case your kitchen remodel is going to fall above or below the benchmark. Furthermore, i find their average pricing to be an exact reflection in the pricing for our company, so by recommending to clients before I even talk to them that they can investigate this report they are prone to begin a realistic budget we could work within to present them an incredible kitchen.

Custom Hutch designed with Semi-Custom Cabinets

While Remodeling Magazine's report is quite helpful, it is a very one size fits all method of establishing a budget. Continue reading if you want to try to hone your numbers a little.

Escape a pad and paper and jot down several notes about each factor along the way through their list:

Factor 1 Home Value- Consider not merely how you feel your home is worth, but also the price of similar homes where you live that curently have updates. The best site to check home values is zillow.com, simply enter your address and you also have an interactive map with home along with other information listed right on the map. Pay attention to which homes are of similar size to yours, happen to be purchased recently, but have a higher value, then peek in their windows to determine exactly what the house looks like. Ok, seriously, I became only kidding. Should you not know them perhaps it's time to meet the neighbors and ask for a simple tour.

Factor 2 Wow! - It is everything to use your primary goal and motivations. Write down each motivational factor which can be crucial that you you in the kitchen remodel. Here are several possible examples: Kitchen is falling apart. You want to cook and the layout doesn't suit you. You love to entertain and want to start living rooms like a place to gather. You need a kitchen that wows your guests. You get able to sell your own home and also the kitchen is really a sticking point with buyers... Now that you have your list, determine what motivations are most important and relist them in motivational order. Imagining your financial allowance beginning in "the middle" pay attention to which factors might move the budget up or down...i.e. attempting to remodel to encourage sales might slowly move the budget down, remodeling to wow guest might max it...etc.

Factor 3 Did someone say AGA? - List any "must haves" for a kitchen remodel to become worth the cost to you personally. Possible examples: granite counters, a tropical with an extra sink, an extra dishwasher, an advert quality gas range, etc.

Factor 4 Longevity- Determine to the best of what you can do the length of time you intend on owning the home.

Factor 5 Size Matters- Determine what amount of your property your kitchen encompasses. A sampling well over 100 modern home floorplans of 1000 to 3000 square feet homes revealed the average kitchen size to be 7% from the home's sq footage. If your kitchen is greater or smaller than this average you might need to decrease or increase your allowance accordingly.

Factor 6 Layout- should you may have learned you're going to want the sink moved, hawaiian isle sink added, an enclosed wall moved plus an exterior door added, you will want to add money on your budget well past such a basic facelift would cost.

Tricky layout: the decorative column conceals a sound wrapped drain pipe

Factor 7 Funding- Determine the maximum amount money you could manage to spend. If you're financing your project you are able to calculate such a lender will likely lend you. Lenders are interested in a personal debt to income ratio(DTI) of.36 or less. Your DTI is established by taking all of your monthly debt obligations (credit card payments, automobile financing, mortgage, etc.) and dividing from your monthly income. To discover your maximum safe monthly debt multiply.36 times your monthly income. Now subtract your existing monthly debt out of this number and you've got a monthly budget maximum. Here is a connect to a calculator that will perform the math for you personally: mortgage calculator

Putting it All Together

The key to managing your finances are choosing the amount of your home's value you should use being a budget guideline. While researching this article I discovered recommendations to make use of percentages starting from 10% to 25% of home value. For any kitchen remodel of any substance that features new flooring, appliances, cabinets, sink/faucet, lighting and bringing electric approximately code I have discovered anything below 15% to become very dubious number. I guess on a million dollar house 10% will be a workable budget, but on the 200k house a 20k affordability is marginal at the best for the complete kitchen remodel.

If resale value is very important for your requirements it is wise to keept the cost of your home renovation project within 20% of the present worth of your home. Staying within this range insures that the majority of the brand new kitchen's price is recouped in increased home value immediately, and the remaining cost must be recouped within 5 years because your home appreciates.

Ok, let's put into practice one example. Remember, there is no exact formula here. We have been simply doing good to become as informed as you possibly can and create a wise decision about how exactly much to spend on the kitchen remodel.

For the example let's use the house. It's a 50's cape cod with a modest square footage of 1500.

Factor 1 value: Zillow provides me with an estimated price of $167,500, however, I notice zillow hasn't yet updated and taken into account the single homes which are recently integrated the sector behind us with a starting expense of $270k. Zillow also has our square footage listed at under 1200. Looks like the previous owner did a bit remodeling with no permit. I am going to base my budget with a expense of 180k which is similar to other houses locally which might be exactly the same size.

Factor 2 Goals: My family and i want to entertain guests. To create a kitchen remodel worthwhile for all of us we must lose an interior wall to spread out up the kitchen and dining nook on the family area. I am going to add 1% to plan for this.

Factor 3 Most important items: As being a former chef two most important items for me personally are a new oven as well as a really nice propane range(no gas main service here), preferably an advertisement range modified for your kitchen at home (real commercial ranges lack insulation throughout the oven, critical for home safety). I am going to add another 1% to my budget to make certain there's enough money to acquire me my range and propane installation.

Factor 4 Longevity: We plan to be in the house at the very least 4 years. Generally of thumb it will take Five years for most remodeling to achieve and recoup all of its cost. Because we will probably be at least Five years I'm not gonna penalize the budget, consider there's a good chance we'll move right around Five years That's not me gonna increase it like I might whenever we were staying considerably longer.

Factor 5 Size Kitchen: The kitchen at home is approximately 140SquareFeet(SF). That's over 9% of the SF of your home, 2% excellent. Obviously this kitchen is going to require some extra material and cabinets. I'll in the budget 1% with this, I am hoping it's enough.

Factor 6 Layout: We are going to customize the layout of our kitchen pretty extensively. We currently use a cooktop peninsula. The product range will probably use a differnet wall as well as the dishwasher will move to the peninsula, though organic beef ditch the peninsula, slowly move the fridge and add hawaiian isle instead. About the only stuff that won't move may be the sink. I will add another 1% to my budget, again hoping $1800 (1% individuals 180k value) is enough to cover the electrical and plumbing changes.

In my base I am going to use 20%. Because i mentioned earlier on, you'll find gonna be people who will argue with me on that, but going lower often doesn't leave you with workable budget numbers for full blown kitchen remodels. I'm adding 4% according to my factors in the above list. I adjusted my zillow.com estimated home value to 180k depending on the comparable size and value of other homes around me. This provides me a working budget of 24% x 180k= $43,200 When I match it up to the Cost Vs. Value report I see that in the centre Atlantic Region an important Kitchen Renovation is $59, 098. It looks like my budget could be bit low, especially since i have really would really like granite countertops along with the Cost Vs. Value specs necessitate laminate tops. Conversely the kitchen at home is really a lot small compared to their 200SF benchmark, i really think I'll opt for my budget number and discover what my contractor can perform personally because budget.

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kitchenremodelingatlanta41 · 4 years ago

Text

Determining a Kitchen Remodeling Budget

Kitchen remodeling atlanta

It is crucial to determine a financial budget for almost any do-it-yourself project, and kitchen remodeling is no exception.

A thing of caution: I spent many hours researching kitchen remodeling cost and budgeting online to gather data just for this article. I ran into a couple websites that gave size pricing for kitchen remodeling. Although I commiserate using attempt to find an easy method to discover remodeling pricing, this type of advice is just not operating out of reality. Remodeling jobs in general are really specific towards the conditions in the building and tastes from the homeowner that no square footage pricing will ever starting point. Also i bumped into many websites that didn't provide you with any real details about starting a budget but basically interpreted Hanley Wood's Remodeling Cost vs. Value report that is published each year. You happen to be much better off visiting the Cost vs. Value report web evaluating the results by yourself.

home remodeling marietta

Like whatever else on this planet a kitchen remodel is going to are more expensive than you thought it would and the sky is the limit on the it may cost depending on you. There are multiple factors which are into determining a remodeling budget.

There are many web sites you can check out assist you to begin a basic budget number to start with. My personal recommendation is Remodeling Magazine's Cost vs. Value Report which is released by region and major city every year. The truly nice point about this report is it offers a description in the "average" project to help you gauge if your kitchen remodel will almost certainly fall below or above the benchmark. Also i find their average pricing to be a definative reflection with the pricing for the company, so by recommending to clients before I even meet with them which they investigate this report these are prone to generate a realistic budget we can easily work within to provide them a fantastic kitchen.

Custom Hutch developed with Semi-Custom Cabinets

While Remodeling Magazine's report is extremely helpful, it is still an incredibly one size fits all approach to generating a budget. Read on if you would like try and hone your numbers somewhat.

Get out a pad and paper and take note of a number of notes about each factor as you go along through their list:

Factor 1 Home Value- Consider not only what you think your property is worth, but the price of similar homes in your town that already have updates. The best site to check house values is zillow.com, simply enter your address and you also receive an interactive map with house values as well as other information listed directly on the map. Pay attention to which homes are of similar size to yours, happen to be purchased lately, but have a higher value, then peek inside their windows to see just what the house appears to be. Ok, seriously, I was only kidding. If you don't know them perhaps it's time to meet the neighbors and request a fast tour.

Factor 2 Wow! - It has everything to apply your objectives and motivations. Jot down each motivational factor which can be important to you within a kitchen remodel. Below are a few possible examples: Kitchen is fallling. You want to cook and also the layout doesn't suit you. You love to entertain and wish to start the kitchen as being a place to gather. You'll need a kitchen that wows your guests. You are getting prepared to sell your home as well as the kitchen is often a sticking point with buyers... Now that you have your list, determine what motivations are most crucial and relist them in motivational order. Imagining your financial allowance from "the middle" be aware of which factors might slowly move the budget up or down...i.e. attempting to remodel to encourage a sale might slowly move the budget down, remodeling to wow guest might max it out...etc.

Factor 3 Did someone say AGA? - List any "must haves" for any kitchen remodel to get worthwhile to you. Possible examples: granite counters, hawaiian isle having an extra sink, an extra dishwasher, a commercial quality gas range, etc.

Factor 4 Longevity- Determine on the better of your ability just how long you plan on owning the property.

Factor 5 Size Matters- Evaluate which percentage of your house your house encompasses. A sampling of over 100 modern home floorplans of 1000 to 3000 square foot homes revealed the typical kitchen sq footage to be 7% of the home's sq footage. In case your kitchen is larger or small compared to this average you might need to decrease or increase your budget accordingly.

Factor 6 Layout- in the event you know already you will want the sink moved, hawaiian isle sink added, an inside wall moved plus an exterior door added, then you need to incorporate money in your budget well past that of a basic facelift would cost.

Tricky layout: the decorative column conceals a good wrapped drain pipe

Factor 7 Funding- Determine the most money you can manage to spend. Should you be financing your project you can calculate what a lender will probably lend you. Lenders are interested in a debt to income ratio(DTI) of.36 or fewer. Your DTI created by subtracting all your monthly debt obligations (bank card payments, automotive loans, mortgage, etc.) and dividing from your monthly income. To find out your maximum safe monthly debt multiply.36 times your monthly income. Now subtract your existing monthly debt from this number and you have a month-to-month budget maximum. Here is a connect to a calculator that will perform the math for you personally: mortgage calculator

Putting it All Together

The key to managing your finances are choosing the percentage of your home's value you should use being a budget guideline. While researching this article I came across recommendations to make use of percentages which range from 10% to 25% of home value. For the kitchen remodel of the substance that also includes new flooring, appliances, cabinets, sink/faucet, lighting and bringing electric approximately code I find anything below 15% becoming a very dubious number. Perhaps over a big house 10% will be a workable budget, but on a 200k house a 20k finances are marginal at the best for a complete kitchen remodel.

If resale value is vital to you it is shrewd to keept the expense of your house renovation project within 20% of the present valuation on your home. Staying in this particular range insures that almost all the new kitchen's charges are recouped in increased home value immediately, as well as the remaining cost needs to be recouped within Five years since your home appreciates.

Ok, let's run through an example. Bear in mind, there isn't any exact formula here. We're simply doing our best to become as informed as you possibly can making a good plan regarding how much to pay on the kitchen remodel.

For the example let's use the home. It's a 50's cape cod with a modest sq footage of 1500.

Factor 1 value: Zillow provides me with an estimated value of $167,500, however, I notice zillow hasn't yet updated and included the one family homes that had been recently integrated the area behind us with a starting tariff of $270k. Zillow also has our square footage listed for less than 1200. Looks like the previous owner did a bit remodeling without having a permit. I will base my budget on a expense of 180k which is analogous with houses locally which are exactly the same size.

Factor 2 Goals: My wife and I wish to entertain guests. To make a kitchen remodel worthwhile for us we should instead lose an indoor wall to open up inside the kitchen and dining nook to the family area. I'm going to add 1% to plan for this.

Factor 3 Most important items: Being a former chef two most important items personally certainly are a new oven plus a really nice propane range(no propane service here), preferably an industrial range modified for use at home (real commercial ranges don't have insulation round the oven, critical for home safety). I'll add another 1% to my budget to make certain there is enough money to obtain me my range and propane installation.

Factor 4 Longevity: We plan to live in our home at the least 4 years. Usually of thumb it requires Several years for the majority of remodeling to comprehend and recoup all of your money. Since we might be right here at least A few years I am not planning to penalize this, but as there is a pretty good possibility we'll move right around Several years That's not me going to increase it like I'd personally as we were staying for a long time.

Factor 5 Height and width of Kitchen: Our kitchen is all about 140SquareFeet(SF). That's over 9% in the SF of the home, 2% above average. Obviously this kitchen is going to require some additional material and cabinets. I am going to up the budget 1% with this, I hope it's enough.

Factor 6 Layout: We are going to change the layout of our kitchen pretty extensively. Supermarket use a cooktop peninsula. The stove will probably go on a differnet wall and also the dishwasher will turn to the peninsula, though we might ditch the peninsula, slowly move the fridge and add an island instead. The only thing that won't move will be the sink. I'll add another 1% to my budget, again hoping $1800 (1% individuals 180k value) is sufficient to cover the electrical and plumbing changes.

For my base I'll use 20%. Because i previously mentioned, there are gonna be people who will argue when camping with that, but going lower often doesn't provide you with workable budget numbers for full blown kitchen remodels. I'm adding 4% according to my factors in the above list. I adjusted my zillow.com estimated home value to 180k depending on the comparable sq footage and expense of other homes around me. Thus giving us a working budget of 24% x 180k= $43,200 While i compare this to the Cost Vs. Value report I see that in the centre Atlantic Region a significant Kitchen Renovation is $59, 098. It appears as though my budget may be bit low, especially ever since i really would like granite countertops along with the Cost Vs. Value specs require laminate tops. On the other hand my kitchen is substantially smaller compared to their 200SF benchmark, therefore i think I'll opt for my budget number to see what my contractor can do for me because budget.

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dukeofriven · 6 years ago

Text

Fun Jade/Rose Facts (Well... facts.)

Note: These facts are divided between “In-Comic” (Everything from Page 1 of Homestuck (A young man stands in his bedroom...) to page 8128 (The End) and “The Credits” (Pages 8129-8130). If I update this after the Epilogue, we’ll... cross that bridge when we get there.

In-Comic Jade/Rose Facts

Jade and Rose have only five conversations in the entire comic.

1 2 3 4 (2 pages) 5 (2 pages)

Conversation #4 is repeated. We see it first from Jade’s POV, then from Rose’s.

The number of conversations goes up to six if you count GrimBark Jade saying “Bark” and “Hey guys long time no see” to the assembled group in Act 6 Intermission 5 - but since Rose says nothing back, I am not counting this as a conversation.

You may do so if you wish.

After removing dialogue tags (like “TT”) and Pesterlog archival data (“ceased pestering” etc), their shortest conversation is their fourth at 80 words long.

Their longest one-on-one conversation is their third at 571 words long.

Their longest conversation is their fifth. It features Doc Scratch, and runs some 1,170 words long.

All told, about 2,711 words are exchanged in one-another’s chat windows. Discounting Doc Scratch’s intrusion into their final conversation, they speak 2324 words to one-another.

If you are counting the Grimbark conversation, add another 7 words.

6 if ‘BARK” is more of a sound.

By contrast, this single one-page Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory exchange between Dave, John, and Karkat runs some 2188 words - over a thousand words longer than any single Jade/Rose conversation, and only some 136 less than their entire conversation history.

Rose never speaks a single word to Jade aloud.

Rose never uses Jade’s name in conversation with her.

Jade and Rose "share the screen” 15 times during the comic. (I have excluded both Caliborn’s ‘Homosuck’ cutouts and his Plasticine maquette because A) they are facsimiles of an event recited by an even-more unreliable narrator than usual, not the real thing, and B) Seriously: Fuck That Guy)

One of these on-camera appearances was ret-conned out of existence.

In only seven of these appearances are both Jade and Rose conscious.

Here are all their on-camera appearances:

Act 6 Intermission 5

(Don’t think I ever noticed Gamzee hiding in the background before.) Act 6 Act 5

Act 7

(It’s tough to tell but I think the above photo is the closest Rose and Jade ever get in the comic.)

Rose never speaks to Jade again after their fifth conversation in Act 5 Act 2.

Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 6.

Rose and Jade do not converse for the entirety of Act 7

Going off “page math” alone. here are some fun facts about Jade and Rose conversations:

5% - or about 1/20th of the comic - passes before Rose and Jade speak.

Rose and Jade spend 39% - 39/100ths - of the comic “in-touch” with one another.

They spent the remaining 56% of the comic not talking.

Rose and Jade spend approximately 61% of Homestuck not in-contact, not in-touch with one another.

Counting the repeat conversation and a single still panel, there are only 9 pages in Homestuck where Rose and Jade are talking.

0.11072834645669291% of Homestuck - 5,536,417,323/5,000,000,000,000ths - (5.5 milliard billionths of the comic - 5.5 billion trillionths for our American readers. ~11/10000) is devoted to Rose and Jade’s “on-screen” relationship. And that’s counting a repeat conversation and a silent panel.

Rose and Jade “share” the screen - either while message-conversing or literally “in the same shot” in 20 pages of Homestuck.

That’s 0.24606299212598426% of Homestuck. About 24,606,299,213/10,000,000,000,000 (~1/400ths) of the comic.

Homestuck contains about 817,612 words.

Jade-Rose conversations all together comprise some 2779 words, taking into account that the fourth conversation is repeated twice.

Jade-Rose conversations comprise approximately 0.33989227163984875% of Homestuck’s text.

That’s 8497306791/2500000000000ths

Credits Jade/Rose Facts

There is no canonical evidence that Jade attended Rose’s wedding.

Seriously - she’s not there in the pictures. When all the kids are lifting the bride and bride up on chairs as part of the “thing done during the horah that isn’t actually part of the horah guess who just did a deep dive into the history of the horah did you know it’s from Greece via Romania and only dates back to 1930 as a traditional pan-Jewish custom it’s kind of like clan tartans in that it’s a cultural touchstone that feels ancient but isn’t” she’s... absent. Jake is in the picture twice once at the top, once in trickster mode on the bottom. Jade Harley: had better things to do than go to Rose’s wedding?

Jade and Rose are the only two kids to never be shown with Trickster modes.

This following photograph is the only conversation Rose and Jade ever have in-person in all the Homestuck franchise. It is their only moment of contact after Act 5 Act 2. We have no demonstrative way of proving that they ever conversed in-person before John’s 18th birthday party on Earth-C:

This is their only verbal conversation, and their only conversation to go textually unrecorded.

We have no way of proving that this is not Rose and Jade burying the hatchet after a... four year feud after Jade clumsily let Rose know her mother had been brutally murdered.

This is 1.3297872340425532% of the entire credits video.

That’s 664893617/50000000000ths of the entire credits - because the only good joke is a cumbersome running joke.

BONUS: Snapchat Jade/Rose Facts

Welcome to the land of dubious canonicity. [Update 23/04/19: I’d like to note that I used this phrase before the Epilogues hit. Also, these are now officially outside of even the broader Homestuck meta-canon as far as anyone can tell. Radio silence on this remains aggravating. What were these and what did Andrew Hussie actually want?]

Do you remember the Snapchats? They didn’t stop being a thing or anything.

... well, they did, actually. Who knows if they’re canon any more. [Again: they are not]

That’s why this section is a bonus - its demi-canonical!

Man, remember when we were all excited that the future of Homestuck was going to be snapchats?

We were going to get so many snapped chats.

So many you guys.

Sigh.

Please no walking on the grass. That grass is only semi-canon. We are liable for damages with the rental company.

Jade and Rose appear together in one (1) snapchat photo:

I’m pretty sure this is the only Beta kids group shot in the entirety of Homestuck!

This Jade/Rose interaction comprises 1.5151515151515151% of all the snapchats.

That’s 946969697/62500000000ths.

That’s really all there is to say on the matter.

FAQ Will you cover the Epilogue?

I will, of course, update this most important resource if/when the Epilogue gives us any more Jade/Rose content. Statistically speaking, it won’t take up much space. You missed interaction [X]! Can I tell you about it?

Yes please! Thanks for letting me know, I will add it right away and update my maths.

You missed interaction [Caliborn’s Master Plan]! Can I -? You may not. This seems elaborate and kind of pointless - why would you do this? Because Jade/Rose is a ship and talking about the Jade/Rose friendship is a thing and I... uh... I didn’t get it. But now having done all this work I... ... I still don’t get it. I always questioned Jade/Rose because I said to myself “they don’t really interact much,” and now that I’ve sat down and run the numbers they really don’t interact much. Now if you’re wondering “did you run though every single conversation looking for the times Jade mentioned Rose or Rose mentioned Jade” the answer would be “ha ha ha that would be crazy of course I did.” I am very tired. And... they don’t talk about each-other much. I mean ‘actually’ talk - I’m not counting all the “hey do you know what Rose/Jade is doing” questions asked between the kids or the trolls (though there’s not that many, really) - I’m talking about actual conversations, like when John talks about how he feels about having to marry Rose according to the Shipping Chart or Karkat mutters that Jade maybe kind of meant something to him once. Jade has this to say about Rose - talking to, of all people, Eridan: GG: rose? GG: i do not have a score to settle with rose!!! GG: why would you think that? CA: oh CA: wwell fuck CA: suppose i wwas guessin it wwas natural to presume somesuch relation like that betwween the twwo a you GG: i think you are projecting your own attitude on to others GG: just because you tend to hate and/or hit on everyone you meet doesnt mean everyone else is that way GG: rose just sent me a code for a crystal ball, shes my friend and is basically the best! It’s a very Harleybert sentiment. And sadly it doesn’t add up to anything. At the very least, Rose doesn’t think that much about Jade. Take it from me: a guy who literally went through every conversation Rose and Jade ever had with and about each other: Rose doesn’t think much about Jade. When Jade shows up sleeping at the end of act six lots of people talk about her: Rose’s only comment is to make a crack about Jade ending end-game ships when she wakes up, and also to note that there was Bird Dave and Dog Jade and Cat Rose but No [Animal] Egbert. That’s it. The most Rose ever has to say is the “she has the karma” conversation all the way back in Act 3 - and it’s still really about Dave. When GrimbarkJade shows up on LOLAR... Rose makes no comment whatsoever. Jade does not take the time to go see Rose when she wakes up in the ret-con timeline. Jade discusses Rose with John only in the context of John and his shipping chart destiny. Rose never seems to have anything to say about Jade to Dave or John. If these kids had had a normal sibling existence in the same high school and John had been hit by a car Jade would have remained friends with Dave but she and Rose would be revealed to not be all that close - their common point of friendship is John, not one-another. Rose talks about so much shit - but not about Jade. Jade might say Rose is “the best” but it’s Harley hyperbole more than anything: she didn’t even get Rose a birthday present because she says Rose is hard to shop for! Rose LaLonde is hard to shop for? What?

There. It’s an Emily the Strange t-shirt with Charles Dutton’s head. it took me ten seconds to come up with it you are welcome Jade. You want to ship Rose/Jade? Fuck yeah, man - go for it! You want to write an eighty thousand word fan-fiction on Rose and Jade: BFF Treasure Hunter Essayists? Sounds fucking rad please write that. You want to say that, canonically, Jade and Rose are great friends? I’m going to have to disagree. Homestuck is a story about four friends - it is not a story about four equally friendly friends. Maybe it was meant to be: not going to lie, I like Act 6 and the ending of Homestuck a lot but even I concede that Jade gets shafted in the “having shit to do” department - the fact that she sits out the big Giant Talky Session at the end of the comic? Weird as shit. If she was up and awake and had any kind of conversation with Rose where they seemed friendly and in-touch I would change my opinion in a heartbeat: I’m not some crank who hates Jade and Rose being best of friends because I’m a weirdo. I mean I am a weirdo but for other reasons, not this. No, I just don’t agree with the idea because it’s not supported by the text. Five conversations in seven acts? Less than 3,000 words exchanged in a document running into the hundred of thousands - and some of that repeat, and some of that the words of a giant cueball tool? If Andrew Hussie wanted us to believe that Jade Harley and Rose LaLonde are particularly close friends, he put no sign of that into the text. If I missed something please - tell me. Argue it with me, even, if you disagree with my assessment - or my math.I am not great at math. Regardless - reach out. We should talk about this more. Edit: Updated 10:38 EST April 12, 2019: corrected multiple typos, changed “dismissed” to “questioning,” clarified point about the horah to sound less weird.

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