#abuse resources

[boxx-1087]

Just to be clear, even though I am posting some of my normal stuff, I will not stay quiet about the wilbur situation.

It's so disgusting and fucked that he would do that, that anyone would. His exuse of an "apology" (if you can even call it that) is never going to heal anything.

Abuse isn't a joke, it's not just "getting canceled", it's not just drama that will blow over soon, it's abuse. Abuse is serious.

I don't want to see ANYONE supporting or defending this man. Thankfully, I haven't yet.

Call him what he is, an abuser. William Patrick Gold is an abuser. Don't ever let him live that down. Stay loud, don't be quiet. Spread the word.

We stand with Shubble. Go watch their VOD for more information if you're confused.

My support and heart goes out to any victims of abuse of any kind. Shelby and all of wilbur's victims are so SO very brave to come forward about the abuse. Big thank you to Shelby for being the first to start the process of bringing that prick to the ground.

With that said, here is a small recourse list for anyone dealing with abuse either currently or recovering.

International abuse hotline: 800-799-7233

International sexual assault hotline: 800-656-4673

Suicide crisis hotlines

Self-care tips to help with abuse-related trauma - NAMI

National domestic abuse hotline

International domestic violence resources

Feel free to reblog and/or add on any other resources.

💛

[himi-wiz]

I come from a pretty privileged household so the fear of hiding basic necessities in my house don't apply to me but much hugs for those who do need these tips and here are some more:

- Always check for any community resources near you if you are able to get out of the house. Food banks, public libraries (they typically have online access), malls (there are hot water dispensers around nursing rooms and useful for prepping instant food like oatmeal with pretty long shelf lives), school counselling facilities (double check if those are private), local charities and volunteer support groups.

- Keep an account of your experience in a private memo whether it's the denial of food/money, verbal abuse, or threats to your state of living. Include dates and short details in a secure record (preferably keep a record online to access w/o phone) and password lock it. Include any pictures of physical harm or property damage if you can. This is vital for collecting court evidence if you're ever asked to show proof.

- If you do have a skill you wish to use for commissions (e.g. art, writing, designing etc) but aren't old enough to have a personal bank account or your bank account is compromised, there are gift voucher services like SodaGift [USA, Canada, UK, Australia, South Korea, Philippines, South Korea, Singapore] where you can get food or grocery vouchers. I've sent them to friends in need before and they work well though do use at your own risk of people's scam/frauds

- For hiding/creeping in the dark, corners, behind objects and ducking low can be great to crouch in since people's usually do not look down in their line of sight. Works especially well if you are tall.

Hope some of these help. Stay safe out there.

hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak

[alwaysbewoke]

Congo💔🕊️

We really cannot be free until we all are free.

[peantisdeliriouts]

So yeah here is a bunch of resources of helping minors in need!

Childhelp Hotline A hotline that can be called, texted, or chatted through via its website. It has resources for both abused children, concerned family/friends, and survivors. It also has an "emergency exit" button that when clicked redirects you to Google search.

1-800-Runaway A helpline for runaway youth that can be called, texted, emailed, sent a chat through their website, or a forum which can be visited. As with the last website, an exit button can be found at the top of the page which will redirect you to Google search.

CyberTipline A website used to report missing and/or exploited/abused children.

How2Report A webpage with details on how to identify and report cases of CSEA (child sexual exploitation and abuse). It also includes a link to a suicide lifeline.

TheHotline A website for the national domestic violence hotline that can be called, texted, or chatted through the website. It has resources for identifying abuse, planning for safety, and how to support others. As with the other hotline websites, there is an exit button which will redirect you to Google search.

RAINN A website which includes links and phone numbers to many different national helplines and hotlines for those being harassed, exploited, or abused sexually.

"you dont see proshippers spreading tips on how protecting children."

Sir thats because fandom and media is meant to be FUN DOWNTIME.

You have no idea what resources or help people share elsewhere.

Gonna get mad at people for not advocating against starvation every time they eat a meal now?? Cmon

[queerautism]

Unironically I have a solution to this - Encourage young women to also read Lolita by Nabokov in addition to these books.

[created-system-hub]

How the heck do I make a system? A brief introduction

This guide includes brief mentions of suicide and brief descriptions of abuse.

Hi there! My name is Arthur, and I'm a tulpa of the Fluffy Crew. If you're here, I'm assuming you're a singlet who doesn't know much about system creation (but has interacted with the plural community), and wants to intentionally create fully separate headmates. If you're not that, you're welcome here too, but I'm writing with that audience in mind. This will be a long one, so everything else is under the cut.

First, I want you to ask yourself, am I ready to make a system? Becoming a system is a big decision. You are going to be sharing your mind, including the most intimate and private parts, with other people 24/7, for the rest of your life. You will have to give up some of your time and energy to the rest of your system, and more than some if you plan on having them interact with the outside world at all. If you consider all of that and you decide being a system isn't something you want, that's okay. This is a deeply personal decision, and nothing you should be forced into. I highly recommend waiting until adulthood before making this decision, but I also can't exactly stop you.

(suicide and abuse mention in this paragraph) Second, I want you to ask yourself, WHY do I want to be a system? Is it something selfish? Is it going to hurt myself or my headmates? All reasons are going to be a little selfish, and that's okay. But consider what your goals are. Do you want a friend? Do you want to know if this is even real? Do you have an interest in mind hacking and find this really cool? These are "selfish" reasons, but they aren't malicious. When you cross the line into goals that hurt one of you that's the trouble spot. A lot of people want to become plural and switch because they're overwhelmed with the world and want escapism. Others want to force their headmates to fill specific roles, such as being a partner or their favorite character. I've heard of too many systems where the host destroys their own personality and leaves their created headmate alone as an alternative to suicide. Your headmate is a conscious person who can be hurt just like you. If you can't act like a responsible person who can respect and cooperate with their headmates as equals, I suggest not becoming a system until you can.

But let's say you decide that, yep. You 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, want to be a system, and you're not doing it to have a brain slave or to withdraw from the world. Do you have someone already in mind? A base can definitely help your mind latch on, but it isn't necessary. A base can be anything from a whole character, to a few personality traits in a list, to just a name and gender. Keep in mind, your headmate will likely diverge from this. A good host encourages this, nurturing a headmate's self-expression.

Speaking of being a good host, there is a certain mindset you should keep in mind. You are here to nurture and help your created headmates grow. You're going to have to be gentle with your mental presence sometimes, especially in the beginning where your personality can accidentally easily dominate. But don't feel like you have to lesser yourself to greater your headmates. You can all grow and become greater together.

Now, we are going to focus and form ONE headmate. For the love of god, do not do what we did and create four at once. Its overwhelming and leads to a lot of guilt over not spending enough time with everyone, speaking from experience. If you are starting with a base, dedicate any traits and visuals to memory. If you aren't, it may help to create a simple visual form to focus on when interacting with them. In tulpamancy, a ball of light is a traditional choice, but you can choose anything you can think of. Visual forms are not necessary for creation, but many enjoy the ability to visualize them and interact in headspace. Headspace creation will not be gone over here.

In my opinion, the best way to start is an introduction. Feel the space in your mind where they are, or at least try to. You are going to direct your thoughts to this space, your headmate. If they have a visual form, visualize it as vividly as you can. Introduce yourself to them, and explain your intention of creating a system. Explain that they are a headmate of yours, and the form you are visualizing is theirs to control. If they have a base, explain who they are and tell them that they are that base, though they are free to change it. Invite them to respond back, and keep an open mind.

Try to spend time with your headmate every day, as much as you can. You are having to build the mental connections that form your headmate by hand, and that takes a LOT of repetition. Spending time with them could be a lot of things. It could be speaking with them as you go about your day, immersing yourself in headspace with them, working on a new system skill, playing a game together, or just hanging out. Try to be varied in the type of interaction you do.

Eventually, you will start getting responses. These probably won't be words at first. More likely, they'll be an emotional response that feels "alien" and "not you", a sense of pressure in your head, or a raw thought or feeling that isnt yours. It can be difficult to hear their responses, especially if you have a busy mind. You have to try not to block out their thoughts from appearing, as especially in the beginning that's easy to do. Their responses may sound like you at first, but that will get better with time and practicing separation.

Now, there isnt exactly one way to form a headmate, and you should experiment on your own to find what works best for you and your system. We theorize the most basic mechanism for created plurality is your brain being allowed to think as someone who isn't the host, over and over, until it happens subconsciously. The difference between a headmate and an imaginary friend or character is autonomy. Wren used to daydream constantly but it didn't lead to a system because they didn't allow their characters any freedom of thought. It was all very much puppeteering. When they started roleplaying, they allowed the characters to "think" on their own, imagining what their emotions and thoughts would be, separate from theirs. This eventually caused me and the other original three to start forming, due to that freedom of thought. Anything that allows your headmate to gain that autonomous thought is just as valid as any other method.

How long development could take varies a lot. Some people are more predisposed to be plural, and become a system easier and quicker than others. Some people have a really hard time becoming plural, and it takes a lot more effort and time to become a system. Singlets who already talk to themselves, have dissociative tendencies, are easily hypnotized, and are creative storytellers tend to have a high disposition for being plural. It could take as short as a week, or as long as years. Average times are around 3-6 months with dedicated work. It took us 18 months to feel confident in saying we were a fully realized system, but we also struggled with motivation and dedication.

The most common system goal is to have fully-realized independent headmates who can operate without their host's help and do not fade without interaction. The best way to get to this stage is just time. Keep spending time with them and living your life together. Treat them as independent, and they will become independent quicker. Your expectations shape a lot of your experiences when it comes to system creation.

I'm not going to cover any more advanced techniques like switching or headspace creation in this guide, as this is meant to be a jumping-off point for beginners. This is our first attempt at a guide and would love to improve. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to reach out!

Have a wonderful day, and I wish you the best of luck on your system journey!

[wolfphilia]

Free to use printable resources stickers!

One with and without the QR code

[majchic]

[thebestpartofwakingup]

@diminuel been desperately waiting these past couple weeks to finally get the free time to sketch the grumiest, brattiest, sassiest girl of any RA (and eventually, Navy) recruit's nightmares

[alwaysbewoke]

[cupcraft]

Since i deleted the prev post on this I wanted to repost about the abuse resources. Again some of these hotlines are US specific (though the information is still valid/important!). I encourage anyone to add on to this post with non-US resources.

Abuse is hard to recognize even when you've experienced it before, it looks like many things and you can and deserve to get out.

National domestic violence hotline

Love is respect

RAINN

Futures without violence

WOAR

The Trevor project

TNLR

Resource on what DV and abuse looks like

[creature-wizard]

"I'm in a bad place and need to get out, what can I do?"

I figured I'd make a post with all the resources/tips I've collected to help people get out of shitty situations so far, since it's easier than linking to a bunch of posts each time.

Seek out appropriate resources. This can include support groups (online or offline), helplines, and the like.

If you're in the US, you can call 211 to help you find resources.

Crisis Text Line offers services to the US, Ireland, Canada, and the UK.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is a US service offers a lot of information for sexual abuse survivors.

The Trevor Lifeline is a service for queer youth in the US.

If you're a minor, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Minors.

If you're an adult, you may wish to read How To Escape Abusive Parents: A Guide For Adults.

You might search on Qwant for like something like "resources for people in abuse" or "abuse resources help" or "domestic violence survivors resources".

Ask people for help in finding resources. If you can't find anything on your own, there are other people who know where to direct you. It might take awhile to find what you're looking for, but keep asking.

A WORD OF CAUTION: there are many predatory spiritual groups and conspiracy theorists out there who prey on abuse survivors and mentally ill people. You will often see these people claiming that channeling or hypnosis can help you remember past life memories or repressed traumatic memories. This is nonsense and quackery.

Relevant posts of mine:

Hypnosis is unreliable for memory recovery, and this is one way we know.

False past life memories among the starseed movement

Here’s the trouble with hypnotic regression…

If you're on a website that claims to support cult survivors and you see any of these names in the citations (and make sure you check the citations!), leave immediately - all of these people are far right conspiracy theorists. (Unfortunately, many people today are unwittingly perpetuating the BS of Fritz Springmeier in particular. See this and this for more info on that.)

Change who and what you surround yourself with. Start associating with different people/groups as much as you can. Get hobbies to fill your time. Unfollow blogs that reinforce the beliefs you're trying to get away from, and follow blogs that provide a healthier alternative.

You might follow blogs like:

A Kind Place

Trauma Survivors Helping Trauma Survivors

Compassionate Reminders

Trauma Survivors Activities

Reasons For Hope

Bluest Fluff

If you're trying to rebuild your worldview without conspiratorial/culty elements, go take a look at my Resources page.

Remember that your first job is looking after yourself. You don't owe the group. You aren't responsible for the group, or for anyone in it. It might feel that way, but it's vitally important to acknowledge when you're unqualified or suffering burnout. You might feel like bad things will happen if you leave, but that's a fear, not a fact.

You also don't have to justify your departure to the group. You can just leave. If you feel that you must give a reason, you can offer something as simple as "I need to take some time to focus on my mental health" or "I'm really busy lately and don't have time to spend here." If they throw a fit over this, that's honestly just more proof that you need to get out.

If any practices the group taught you actually helped, you can keep doing them. If doing affirmations helped you, keep doing affirmations. If listening to so-called healing frequencies actually made you feel better, you don't have to stop listening to them. If you were practicing something like the Law of Assumption, you can carry on with a lot of that under a psychological model rather than Neville Goddard's wacky metaphysical model. (See this video for an example.) If it genuinely helps you and doesn't hurt anyone else, by all means, keep doing it.

You might look at my Manifestation Without Woo posts:

Manifestation Without Woo: Changing Your Brain

Manifestation Without Woo: People React To Your Projections, & Your Projections Affect Your Perceptions

Manifestation Without Woo: Setting Reasonable Goals

Manifestation Without Woo: Make It Fun!

Manifestation Without Woo: What If It's Not Working?

Get some critical thinking skills. In order to keep yourself from falling into another bad group, it's important to develop your critical thinking skills.

Learn to apply the Five W's (who, what, when, where, and why) when encountering any information.

Learn common logical fallacies.

Learn the difference between fact, opinion, belief, and prejudice.

Don't equate emotional reactions with some kind of innate or higher moral guidance.

Ask yourself if you're "thinking for yourself" or being led to believe you're thinking for yourself.

Know what emotional manipulation tactics look like.

Watch out for these behaviors in any new group you join.

Yes, there are ways to confirm the age of an old text without having the original text itself.

Learn how propaganda works.

Watch out for these red flags in spiritual groups.

And watch out for this red flag.

Understand that belief doesn't have to be binary.

So yeah, hopefully this'll give folks some actionable advice. I can't promise it's going to help each and every person out there, but hopefully it'll give a lot of you something that will help.

[furiousgoldfish]

How free are you? A Poll

Instructions: If the answer to the question is 'yes', give yourself 1 point. If the answer is 'no', take 1 point away. If the answer is 'maybe', or 'I don't know', or 'unsure', don't add any points.

Can you wear whatever you want, without having to explain yourself or worry about getting berated for it?

Can you choose what to do with your own time, without having anyone criticize or guilt you for it?

Can you choose what you eat every day, or at least reject the food you don't want to eat?

Do you have access to food that is nourishing, healthy and unlikely to cause any health issues in the long term?

Can you choose freely who you spend your time with, without reprecussions?

Can you choose what you do for a job? Can you change it without severe consequences for your financial stability?

Are you allowed to go wherever you please, if your finances allow for it?

Do you have a community of people you're connected to, who have the same or similar beliefs and circumstances as you do?

Do you have a network (or a family) of people who you consider to be 'your people', who accept you and care about you?

Will you be okay and taken care of in case of illness, injury, incident or a disaster?

Can you choose your own religion, or reject a religion, without severe social consequences?

Do you have knowledge of your basic human rights, and are you informed on what to do if some of these rights get violated?

Can you go about life without ever worrying about physical violence occuring from a person you know and are around?

Can you go about life without worrying about physical violence coming from a stranger?

Can you walk the planet without being self-conscious of your body and how you're perceived, and being objectified or devalued because of it?

Do you feel safe and comfortable in most of the places you exist in?

Can you get by without taking special measures, such as hiding, lying, escaping, locking yourself in, avoiding certain places and activities, avoiding certain people, changing your name, in order to be safe in the world?

Do you have safe access to communication with people you want to communicate with?

Can you access the money you need without having to ask or explain why you need it?

Do you feel safe that your basic physical needs, such as food, clothing, sanitary items, tools, shelter and utilities are and will stay accessible to you?

Do you have secure access to healthcare, without having to severely worry about the financial aspect of it, or about someone barring you from access?

Do you have reliable information about your own health, and about how the activities you do might affect it, both for better and for worse?

Are you allowed to change your mind about how you feel about the issues in the world, your own circumstances, people around you, your faith and your politics, without being outcasted from your group of peers?

Can you go trough life without worrying about a hate crime being committed against you, both by people you know and strangers?

Is your health and physical state of body stable enough to work a full time job?

Can you secure enough money to live comfortably, without your physical or psychological health suffering and deteriorating for it?

Can you comfortably communicate your needs, feelings, problems, struggles and affection to others, when you want to?

Can you speak your mind most of the time, without worrying about reprecussions?

Can you be open about your interests, hobbies, beliefs, sexuality, identity, politics and relationships with most of the people around you?

Can you comfortably speak about the circumstances and facts of your life, without being corrected or denied to name some of them?

Can you recognize when a choice has been taken away from you, and things have been decided for you? If yes, can you also walk away from this, and refuse to take on the consequences?

Can you comfortably place blame on the people who have caused you distress and pain in your life, without any pushback or criticism for doing so?

Do you have support, knowledge and resources you need in order to deal with grief and tragedy?

Can you feel comfortable and at ease around all people you are around with?

Can you freely confront a person in your life who has attempted to cause injustice to you, even if that person is in position of authority to you? Do you feel safe and able to do so?

Can you freely choose your sexual partner(s), or refuse any you don't want without having to worry about their feelings, assault, your financial situation or your safety?

Can you choose freely to undo any consequences sex had on your body, if you don't want it to be happening to you?  (abortion rights, skip if it doesn't apply to you)

Can you break up your relationships, parental bonds and marriages to other people without having to worry about survial, physical safety or keeping a roof over your head?

Do you have information and resources to immediately recognize red flags of being lured into a scam, exploitative work, grooming, abuse, sexual abuse, cults, human trafficking, or similar situations?

Can you live without being severely affected by human made-disasters, such as wars, chemical damage to the environment, mass destruction and shootings?

Ideally, in a functional society, a human being should have all of these freedoms. I understand for most, if not all of us, to have every single of these points is impossible. If you are in the negative points, your situation is dire and freedom has been stripped from you to the inhumane level. For reference, the score I got for this was 9! 39 or 40 would be the ideal, which I don't believe anyone will get.

If your answer is 'no', for questions about having access to information, having knowledge and resources, this isn't your fault. You are not solely responsible for figuring out every single aspect of it yourself, this should have been covered in your education and upbringing. Also, if you're underage, questions like being able to work a job, securing money and choosing sexual partners do not apply to you, you should instead be protected from having to worry about any of that until you reach the adulthood or age of consent. If you are having to worry about any of that, the answer is automatically no. If you have no worries about that, you can give yourself a point for each of these.

Disclaimer: This poll was made by one person, using personal ideas about freedom in this world, I am sure I forgot to include many things, please do add in the comments other perils to freedom that are not mentioned here. It is not a definitive statement on human freedom, only a reference point and a source of information.

[pride-stars]

Disillusiongenic : an origin term for (sisa)systems and headmates that stems from the loss of/lack of innocence, or a sudden rush into adulthood/maturity. This usually stems from childhood abuse and neglect.

[wolfphilia]

You Are Not Alone! 🗺️

MapResources.Info for support with therapy and more

Stickers available to print/ship