#absolutely not fuck you all

[artkaninchenbau]

Crocodile finds a strange stray cat an 11-year old Nico Robin (AU where they met 13 years earlier. Robin's been on the run from the World Government for 3 years. Crocodile's 27 and has not set up base in Alabasta yet)

It seems like I have become possessed. By some sort of demon.

Bonus:

[xolaanii]

this is still some clownshoes bs

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

some of y'all really started an entire campaign against shahed and shaima and muhammad to falsely claim they're scammers huh. really just came up with a bunch of baseless racist claims and presented them as fact, getting someone to rescind an entire $500 donation from shaima and muhammad's gfm. do you think they want to be here on tumblr, begging strangers for money to escape a genocide? do you think people like hussein and nairuz put in so much effort to vet them just for fun? or that my friends and i enjoy losing sleep every night trying to get people to donate? if after all this time, after over 300 days of ongoing genocide, you still insist on baselessly accusing palestinians of being scammers with 0 proof, you are just plain racist idk what to tell you! i'm not kidding when i say this racist fucking behavior is quite literally endangering human lives. go donate to them right now i'm no longer asking.

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

tw: blood

[bet-on-me-13]

The Summoner

So! Danny is not the Ghost King.

But he still has a good relationship with a LOT of Powerful and not-so-powerful Ghosts in the Zone. So much so that they have given him their Summoning Circle's with a blanket permission to Summon them any time. Not like they have much else going on...

This all leads to a hilarious situation where Danny can't use his Powers for whatever reason and is forced to Summon his friends for help. In front of a group of Heroes.

He has to explain everything to them, but accidentally convinces them that he has Summoning Magic and the Ghosts are all on his Contract. He also mentions Saving people from Ghosts and the JLA realize that he is a child Hero.

They ask him if he wants to join Young Justice, and Danny hesitantly agrees.

Now Danny is on Young Justice and the entire team thinks that he is a Hero with Ghost Summoning Magic.

And his name isn't Daniel "Commit to the Bit" Fenton for no reason.

[hellsitegenetics]

would you perhaps do the Danny Phantom opening theme?

https://dannyphantom.fandom.com/wiki/Danny_Phantom_Opening

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Closest match: Osedax frankpressi genome assembly, chromosome: 6 Common name: Bone-eating Worms

(image source)

[evelynpr]

Congratulations My Hero Academia for providing, possibly, the biggest and longest legit straightbaiting yet in shonen history.

Bonus points that their final chapter was released on yaoi day.

[chthonic-kids]

IT'S ON SIGHT CHRONOS

[thepunkmuppet]

on the subject of the new magnus protocol. RRRRARAAAHAJKAKKSUWJLWOOWHEVDNKDPFOEUEGHWPEPRIJEBWVKWLSLIDHENWLSKHEHEKWWOUEHEBDKDLEIEHWBIWOEJDBDBEKEKOELRURYEPPWKFBVEJWLPAPWIUEBRHRKLDLSPWKJENRIELLEJRBRKJWKWKWLLSOIEBRVJELSPODUEHGEJSOALWOWOUEVDCODLEPPWOWUSGUEKEBHFOOFEYWHWOCJURPEPWLDJGEJEKEAJHAJDKOEWIHWGSIEOEOUEGEVDNCKLEOQOIEIRHRHEKODKSBWJWOOPOOPOYGEHKWKSJSHHWNKWLSLJEEBRKLELPWPWHEVDBKEEIEGNSOENEHELEPRLRHHENEKEPEJRGE

[latenightsundayblues]

Fucking love the final flashback montage in saw VI because the way they edited it makes it look like hoffman is pissing directly on an unconscious erickson's bald head

Ive been cry laugghing for five fucking minutes

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

It’s not that Jason forgot, per se.

But between smuggling a toddler out of the League of Assassins, trekking halfway across the world, and finding a suitable hiding place that’s also child friendly… well, it kind of slipped his mind that he’s supposed to be… dead.

Something that comes back to bite him in the ass when he takes Dami out for some ice cream and just so happens to run into non other than Brucie-fucking-Wayne

[asexxxualauthor]

I think the best part of finishing Burrow's End is the moment about six or so hours later, where you're chilling in the shower or in the middle of dinner, and you suddenly realize that the tape—you know, that tape—wasn't all five of the Firsts dog-piling and murdering Dr. Winnebago, but literally just Phoebe. And just that one stoat was enough to cause the carnage the kids found in the store room and turn the doctor into a Meat Dave when she didn't even know how to speak human yet.

[lotus-pear]

lore accurate chuuya canonically drives a 2006 sparkly barbie motorcycle

[delzinrowe]

happy birthday to the bestest boy (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

[mannequinswithkillappeal]

the fact that everybody spent four years drawing devastatingly stylish and sultry femme!crowley and then he turned up with THESE LOOKS is just the funniest shit imaginable.

incredible scenes.

[starry-bi-sky]

Unpleasant Revelations - DPxDC Ficlet Idea for the Stillborn Au

"Have you met my youngest, Damian, Mr. Masters?"

Its only from twenty years of long, hard experience and practice that Vlad doesn't increase the room temperature from 'borderline uncomfortably cool' to 'unbearably hot' the moment Bruce Wayne pulls his youngest and "only" biological son out in front of him.

He puts only in quotations because twelve year old Damian Wayne looks scarily, uncannily like one Daniel Brown. Jack and Maddie's foster son, second victim of their foolishness, and only other halfa in existence. Second only to him.

It's nauseating how similar they look. From the scowl and terrible glare on the young boy's face, to his brown skin -- which was only a few shades lighter than Daniel's, the shape of his nose, and even the strange winged edge of his eyebrow. Something that Vlad has long since come to find endearing on the child he considered a son of his own. The only difference was that Damian had dark, sharp green eyes.

Daniel's eyes were blue. The same glacier shade as his father's, who stood behind Damian with a proud, oafish smile on his visage.

It was infuriating how similar they look. Vlad might not have rapidly swung the room temperature from one extreme to the other, but he can't stop himself from letting the fury burning within his core from slipping out and raising the temperature up a few degrees.

Because it really only meant one thing.

Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were related.

Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were brothers.

Standing in front of him, it was clear as day. He can already picture a phantom image of Daniel standing beside Damian, the same scowl written on his face, the same glare carved into his eyes. The only difference being the dark, exhausted circles beneath them that seemed to be permanently painted onto his skin. The only thing missing being the permanent loneliness and vigilance permeating his being like a scar.

This, if revealed, would be enough to ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation. Or, at the very least, darken it quite a bit. The great philanthropist Bruce Wayne with another secret blood child? One related to his youngest? One that had been put into foster care? Seemingly thrown away?

It would be a firestorm.

One that Vlad is not keen on starting.

It would ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation, yes. But it would hurt Daniel in the process -- the harassment he would face alone might just be enough to break that fragile child completely. That was just not something he could allow. Or, even worse, bring him into his biological father's care and custody -- something Vlad was even less willing to allow.

It's not out of kindness to Wayne that Vlad will keep mum about this.

His grip on his champagne flute tightens, just a bit. He's still aware enough of the world around him to not let it shatter in his hands. His plastered, pleasant smile tightens around the corners, and he forces his focus to slide from Damian to Wayne.

"The resemblance is uncanny, Mister Wayne." He says, slanting his smile to the side slyly. Although he's not talking about the resemblance between Wayne and his son. Rage simmers beneath his skin, burning coal and embers in the core of his chest, nestled between his lungs, as he meets the man's eyes.

Wayne swaggles his head proudly, his ditzy smile widening as he squeezes his son's shoulder affectionately. Bastard, Vlad wants to spit.

He breathes in through his nose, and exhales out through his mouth. The champagne in his hand cools, and stops its unusual bubbling.

The Damian boy scoffs under his breath, his mouth still coiled upward into a scowl. With the revelation of his blood relation to Daniel evident, Vlad's not sure if he should find it endearing or not.

He is not Daniel, so he decides that it's just simply irritating. He decides to ignore it.

"And you said he was your only biological son?" He asks, voice lilting and head tilting. He knows its a suspicious question at worst, insulting at best. But considering Wayne's past proclivities, he can hardly call it an unexpected question.

Damian puffs in great offense, face twisting angrily. It reminds him of Daniel when Vlad insisted that he was wrong about something or other, and for a moment his heart swells, fond.

But this is not his child, and so the feeling quickly crashes and burns, simmering back into rage. This was not Daniel -- this was his replacement. A replacement that Wayne was free to keep.

Wayne chuckles, idiotically, as if he'd said some funny joke. Vlad's other hand, the one gripping his cane -- something he's required ever since he was dispatched from the hospital all those lonely years ago -- tightens instead. He grinds his teeth -- him and Jack Fenton would get along like a house on fire, he hates it.

"I can understand why you'd ask that, Mister Masters," Wayne says, squeezing Damian's shoulder again, "but yes, Damian is my only biological son. Although that doesn't mean I don't love my other children any less."

Bastard.

For all his posturing and flouncing about caring for his city and his children, Vlad never would have thought the Prince of Gotham capable of abandoning one of them.

But, well.

They all have their dark secrets.

And what one man throws away, another man picks up. If Bruce Wayne didn't want the treasure child that was Daniel Brown, then Vlad Masters was more than happy to take him instead.

"I see."