#about me? lmao

[toffeelemon]

Hi! I've recently been questioning my gender, with suspicions that I might be genderfluid. You're the first person that came to mind who is also genderfluid, which is why I ask here, but no pressure for you to answer! I was just wondering how the whole thing works, from more of a personal perspective (I can read all the wiki and educational/informational posts I want, but I want to hear more anecdotally if that makes any sense?). Obviously this is a pretty personal question, so please dont feel pressured and only answer to the point that you're comfortable (if at all). Thank you so much in advance!

hey oh gosh welcome! i feel like i probably am about to overshare sksk but i'm so touched by you reaching out i'll try my best! i don't know a lot of genderfluid people in person as well so i really appreciate this 💙

i'm not sure if my experience is relatable to the common impression of genderfluid people but here's how i experience it myself?

i'd say that i get gender euphoria from presenting both far ends of the gender spectrum at different times. i feel like sometimes people like to conflate the way trans people affirm their gender with reinforcing gender stereotypes (which i can go on a rant about how all people cis and trans perform gender as a part of self affirmation just like how you identify yourself with cultural and personality markers to better express yourself and relate to others), but for me i can recognise that gender is performative, but i also Like performing gender and think it's fun to manipulate the gendered constructs in society to my wishes to how i'd like people to think of me

occasionally i would present hyperfemme (so performative to the point it's almost akin to drag to be honest) because i expect and want people to perceive me as such. sometimes it's almost a conscious decision like. maybe this occasion is full of sapphics and i wanna attract a certain kind of attention 🌚 maybe i want to appear non threatening and more approachable and i'm working within the confines of the gendered lens the majority has. and it's good fun because i think people perceive me as gender-diverse anyway because of how playful and over the top i am with it

and well sometimes i try to present masc because i want to receive another set of expectations, impressions and social interactions... with varying degrees of success but i sure am working on it rip

either way, sometimes i just like the way i look in the mirror sksk it's not just about attention seeking

honestly? on a day to day i'm just not putting in a lot of effort to dress particularly in a gendered way. serving c*nt 24/7 is exhausting sksk

but internally i think i don't experience the "flux" as strongly as some people do. most of the time there are occasions, different groups of people that i meet maybe, that i feel strongly about how i want them to perceive me, and most of the time on the day i do go through with what i thought i would pull off and feel good about it

i do get bouts of (gendered) dysmorphia every now and then like most trans people. but internally i feel mostly neutral about my body and really am just annoyed at how bodies are gendered and hence my body is in the way of me... shapeshifting into whatever i would like people to perceive me as at any moment. like if i'm sitting in a room by myself? i could be a girl or a boy without any exterior expectations

interestingly i think i also relate my gender a lot to relationship dynamics. sometimes i like falling into gendered roles and think it could be fun and cute. sometimes i want to subvert them. half of the time i think i'm being funny for "appropriating" hetero culture existing in my non conforming body. but at the same time i'm not big into dating right now because i don't feel secure enough yet to not fall into gendered expectations that someone like a partner might trap me into

whilst i do answer to the label non-binary too what i like to say that i feel different from nb people who don't identify as genderfluid is that, whilst "not being either of the binary genders - male or female" is a common descriptor for nb people, i like to self describe as both? instead of being thought of as neither, i like to be considered as both - i'm just greedy and want to be both one of the girls and one of the boys sksk

and that feeds into my pronouns. in my mother tongue we have no gendered pronouns and on a day to day in most conversations people fill in the gaps and assume someone's gender without any clues. and in a sick way i get weirdly satisfied when people struggle with my gender, or slide back and forth, or come to different conclusions. i like being able to fit into both set of shoes, or all the shoes, at least i really try to. i enjoy weaselling myself into the hard boxes of he or she that people built for themselves and break their brains, lol

that's all coherent thoughts i have right now! was that fun? was that informative? please feel free to slide into the dms if you feel comfy to i'd love to chat and hear from you too!

sending you gender affirmative vibes <3 knowing yourself better and finding out new things about yourself is so exciting and i'm so happy for you

[lrndvs]

compliments from girls go hard

[koobiie]

shoutout to everyone who wants to infodump but cant string together coherent thoughts to form sentences and instead just look at you like this

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

[merrigel]

Everybody do the wenis!

Gif alt:

[kendyroy]

“They gave me runway in this film. There’s one monologue in there. I can’t tell you the details of it. I say more words in that monologue than I said in an entire movie once as Wolverine. But there are sides of the character that I’ve been scratching at for 24 years […] There is stuff in this movie where I was like, ‘This is the thing I’ve been trying to get out’ and I feel so excited about it.”

— Hugh Jackman talking about Logan in Deadpool & Wolverine (x)

[ink-the-artist]

Love the contrast between the Americans’ “Apollo” and the Soviets’ “Sputnik.” You got the Americans naming their rocket after a Greek god trying to communicate the grandness and importance of this rocket. And you got the Soviets naming their rocket “fellow traveler.” Like a friend you go on an  adventure with together. This rocket is our little friend lol 

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[dingledraw]

Well, that went down like a lead balloon.

[cozylittleartblog]

"content creator" is a corporate word.

we are artists.

[keymintt]

a comic/zine about coyotes

[hinamie]

dead man walking

[unsung-idiot]

way to ruin the mood

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

The Barbie movie really said. Yes you will grow up and childhood wonder will vanish. Yes you will grow up and learn to hate yourself, your body, your awkwardness. Yes you will grow up and lose your confidence and certainty and sense of purpose. Yes you will grow up and the world will seem a bleaker, lonelier place every day, and society will seem bleaker and lonelier every day, and you won’t understand what went wrong in the span of just a few years, what took you from a happy and secure young girl to a sad, uncertain, scared grown woman.

And yet. You will learn to find beauty again. You will find joy in not having a purpose, in building a purpose for yourself. You will find beauty in connection, with the people and the world around you. You will learn to love signs of ageing as proof of a life well lived, of experience and happiness. You will take that little girl by the hand and tell her “I know, this isn’t what you thought it would be, but it’s real. Let me show you how beautiful it can be.”

[batshaped]

the continued adventures of an internet user who was frozen in 2004 and defrosted in 2021: some things are just the way you left them

previous 2004 internet user comics are here: one, two, three, four, five; or just in my 2004 tag