#about how the fox is another side of Ame and through him she’s allowed to realize and process emotions in a new way

[theclockistickingwrite]

Brennan: the fox looks over at you, Ame. “You’re feeling something, aren’t you?”

Ame: I feel a lot of things all the time

The Fox (fondly resigned): yeah, I can tell. We can speak to each other—like this (Brennan: he says in your mind.)

Ame (laughing) oh! Spooky head voice

Brennan: you see he stops speaking with his mouth and just starts speaking telepathically.

The fox: you’re scared of something and it’s making me scared

[wantonlywindswept]

10/10 fox day: forgotten fox bit

to celebrate fox day you get more of the next section of the forgotten fox au, which contains...zero fox actually present x_X

i am trying okay

---

Bucket, for the crimes of having an excellent sabacc face and a hip that seized up when moving any faster than a light jog, was often stuck manning the Guard HQ front desk.

They didn't get too many natborns coming through these days, at least, now that the CSF were forced to do their own jobs and had taken over guarding the prison. The Guard was back to being a protective, high-level military force instead of doing all the domestic policing and drudgework they'd been relegated to. They were still beholden to the Senate, but things had gotten better since Palpatine died and Organa took office, even if some of the Dome's denizens still saw them as little better than droids.

So Bucket didn't have to deal with that at least--he could, he got his name from being able to fit his demeanor to whatever the situation needed it, swapping faces like you could swap a helmet--but he did still have to deal with the regular comers and goers. Thankfully, that was mostly clones, plus the new addition of the pack of Jedi healers that descended on medbay once a week.

Interesting bunch, the Jedi. A lot more personable than Bucket had thought they would be. Surprisingly calm up until you admitted to using a soldering torch to close an acute laceration. 

(It wasn't even a recent injury--it happened so long ago that it was already healed. But now Master Nema gave Bucket the stink eye whenever she saw him, like she was trying to determine how medically stupid he'd been in her absence.)

"--figure what they were going on about?"

Bucket snapped to attention as the exterior doors slid open, a placid expression settling across his features. He turned toward the voice--only to relax when he caught sight of the visitors.

"Just something about another shift in the Force," Marshal Commander Cody said, offering Captain Rex a shrug. "It's not as bad as when Palpatine died; nobody passed out this time, at least."

"Small mercies," Commander Gree observed, bringing up the rear behind them. He had four takeout containers cradled in one arm, and by the smell they were from the offensively good noodle cart that parked near the base of the Rotunda. Bucket took a deep, envious breath and decided he was definitely going there for latemeal.

This particular group of GAR troopers--along with Commanders Bly and Wolffe--were a familiar enough sight at Guard HQ. They didn't visit often, almost eternally deployed to the front lines, but whenever their leaves lined up they usually made an appearance. Bucket had never seen all five together at once, but maybe that would change now that the war was over and battalions were being called back to Coruscant.

"Commanders, Captain," he greeted, standing up behind the counter to salute. His second for the day, Kelari, hastily copied the action. 

Cody waved the formality away with the sign for 'at ease', nodding at the two of them in turn.

"Sergeant Bucket," he greeted. "And I don't think I know..?"

"Private Kelari, sir!" Kelari chirped. She was still painfully shiny, wide-eyed and awestruck as she stared up at the Marshal Commander, and Bucket allowed the gaping with fond indulgence. 

She was one of their most recent acquisitions, part of a squadron that arrived after the death of the Chancellor. The group didn't have any direct experience with the war or the suffering that came with it, and the entire Guard were doing their damndest to make sure they never would.

"Private Kelari," Cody acknowledged, one side of his mouth ticking up. "Good to meet you."

Kelari beamed; Bucket shooed her away so he could get back in front of the security screens. 

"The Jedi up to shenanigans again?" he asked as he pulled up the admittance forms. 

Rex sighed, heavily, and Cody shot him an amused look.

"Let's just say," Gree said, "That it will be nice to avoid more half-coherent explanations on how the Force works in the future."

Bucket snorted, starting to fill out the usual info. The Guard never got a Jedi--and with the reveal of Palpatine being a Sith, they now knew why--but he had to admit he was glad they never needed to deal with the often-inexplicable Jedi tendency to rely so much on some invisible cosmic power.

"Captain CT-7567," he recited idly as his fingers flicked across the keys, "Commander CC-2224, and Commander CC-1004, here to see Commander--"

Bucket blinked at the 'reason for visit' box. 

This batch of clones had been visiting the entire war, either by themselves or together, whenever their rare leave allowed. They came often enough that if Bucket wasn't the one that would suffer the datawork hassle later, he would have just waved them on through. 

He was familiar enough with them to know that Cody's infamous scar came from a sparring accident, that Gree had three half-finished xenobiology research papers that he hoped to someday publish, and that Rex had been forcibly adopted by the CC clones without being allowed any input in the matter. He knew that Wolffe had three implanted teeth from multiple attempts at biting trainers through their armor as a cadet, and that Bly sometimes mixed up his letters and numbers and had almost been decommissioned as a result.

And Bucket had no idea what to put in the box.

He slowly lifted his gaze from the half-finished form to meet Cody's eyes. 

Missing memories weren't that uncommon, in the Guard, but as Bucket watched confusion steal across Cody's face--as that confusion shifted into rising unease and panicked alarm--he didn't think it was just a Guard problem, anymore.

[lexluvswriting]

ꔫ L'autunno.

☆ Ch: 2 [last page] [next page]

-> Pairing: Eris x ballet dancer!fem!reader.

-> (CW): x fem!reader (she/her), slow-burn, rivals to lovers, tinkle of angst on occasion, fluff, non-specified identity Summer Court!reader, regarding canon ACOTAR time: after defeat of Hybern. Dual p.o.v!!

-> (TW): Eris Vanserra, slightly softer today, Lucien cameo!! Beron Vanserra is still a c-

W/C: 2.8k (what a coincidence)

╰┈➤ Lex's note: I hope this chapter was a bit more reader and Eris focused!! i wanted to add some backstory to Eris -even tho there isnt much to go off- (slightly ooc as i am embellishing a lil, teehee!) ALSO: I did a dual p.o.v!! Thought it might be cute! pls lmk how we feel abt it!!

A gentle breeze swept back the Lady of the Autumn Court’s hair as she sat out on her balcony. The moon dangled in the sky, and a small ball of auburn hair shifted in the lap of the Lady- two golden eyes blinking through baby tears up at the female who watched the moon with an expression Lucien had seen before, but could never name. There was angry yelling in the distance, deep within the manor as glass shattered and feet stomped around.

“Why does he always do that, mamma?” A little voice called out. The Lady sighed in response, lips parting to bestow more motherly reassurance when another voice answered.

“Because he’s a horrible man, Lucien.” Eris, stone faced despite his youth, stalked towards his mother and younger brother as he entered the balcony clearing.

Eris Vanserra was many things. A big brother. A good dancer, a cheater at all the games, a little fox. And he certainly wasn’t an idiot.

“Did he write to you again? Is that why he’s angry?” Silence hung on the end of his question, sliding off the words like a droplet of dew as the Lady extended her other arm, and ushered Eris closer. Both boys held their mother, who looked up at the sky with weary eyes.

But they weren’t weary- they were tired, but not exhausted. Sad but not miserable. It was like she was holding onto-

“I hoped to negotiate with your father about letting Lucien see… him. But it didn’t… work out well.” Her voice was hushed, like the whisper of a willow that swayed by the lake near the manor.

There it was. Hope.

“Why bother? You know he’ll only hit you. Why do you let him? Why can’t he- why can’t-” Anger bubbled up in Eris the same way it did in his father, and that only made the boy more angry as he pulled away, kicking a loose rock over the edge of the balcony.

“Why can’t he help you? And take you away from this?”

“But where will you go, Eri?” Lucien’s sleepy voice cooed, the little one rubbing at his eyes with chubby fists. Eris glared at his younger brother- as if he was foolish for not understanding.

“I would stay back with father- to make sure he…” The words constricted in his throat. The Lady of Autumn hugged Eris again, tears welling up in both pairs of eyes.

“I know. I know. You are so brave, Eris. My sweet little fox, the boy who would string up the world for me.” Her words were always flowery and poetic- they always made the tips of his ears go bright red, but tonight he allowed them to find their mark as he hugged his mother tightly while her kisses littered the side of his head. Little Lucien, who squirmed when he realised he was missing out on the affections, stood up on wobbly feet as he grabbed his mother’s hand.

“Mamma, if I hang the moon on a sting, will you kiss me too?”

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

Your brows were furrowed in concentration as you planted your foot firmly on the ground, counting in before sucking in a breath as you went up on pointe, earning a grunt of approval from Gustav, who simply let the music play as you began to run through the steps of the solo. 

“Wrong- immediately. Your transition from the pas de deux should be seamless- as if he wasn’t even there. They are focusing on you- You are the one with the power- you are the one with eyes following. They will be watching your every movement.” 

Every word that left his mouth made you scowl harder, and your pirouettes became faster and faster, until you were a blur. A ‘thwack’ startled you, a stinging sensation against your thigh made you flinch and fall to the ground.

“Gus!”

“Wrong! All of it- wrong! What is wrong with you? Where is my jewel? Bring her back, instead of this monstrous thing. Money is on the line- my studio is on the line- prestige and fame for you is on. The. Line! Get it together. Again!” The orchestral backing seemed to rewind and restart, and your eyes glowered at the ballet master who simply inspected his nails, elbow leaning on his ‘discipline stick’, a thin, long piece of wood that ‘thwacked’ against the limbs of any sorry dancer who ‘lacked discipline’. You had been very familiar with it- an arch nemesis from youth, yet you let out a huff, which Gustav mocked, though you rolled your shoulders and resumed first position.

You danced- your arms swinging around as your legs carried you across the wooden floor. You saw glimpses of your reflection- and you weren’t at all displeased with what you saw. Strong, dedicated, pretty- Primrose would croon these at you prepared before a session, and they had found a mark in your heart as you paraded yourself around. You tried to push all the worries out of your mind for the moment, honouring the music that played by worshipping it with the graceful movements of your body, twirling and leaping- not like a dancer, but like a leaf on the wind. Like a stalk in the long grass. Like the pretty ember in a lantern.

Your heart raced in your chest, beating wildly despite the organised chaos of the accompaniment you danced to. All you had to do was dance- the rest would sort itself out, right? All you had to do was keep your head down, do your pretty dance, do it correctly and get the royal family of the Autumn court off your back. Then you could go back to being a normal dancer at a normal studio and pray that you weren’t swept up in the exodus that seemed to be occupying most of the Autumn Court. The shrill song of a violin pulled you out of the sea of thoughts just in time for you to complete a grand jeté before the coda started. As the steps got more complex- and dangerous, if you didn’t land them properly, you didn’t notice a bug eyed Gustav who had looked above to see a certain lordling glowering down at you- his russet irises blazing with an unreadable, but probably shrewd emotion as his eyes tracked your every movement while you danced.

You were having the time of your life- your blood always ran when you had to perform the more complicated sequences. Plié, pas de basque, pas de bourrée, glissade, a wondrous grand jeté- high enough for you to touch the ceiling if you really wanted to- land into another plié, and then, your favourite- the fouettes. You could get lost in these if you really wanted to, and perhaps you would, with the way you caught yourself smiling slightly in your reflection. Gustav hadn’t protested, or warned you not to go crazy, so you did the usual routine, body charging up to spin and spin and spin. A crescendo of the music made you stop spinning, and you saved yourself by doing a more ‘modern’ move as you tumbled across the floor, only to end up on your feet again, hands poised perfectly in the air in your finishing pose as the music slowly ceased. You laughed a little, amused at your ballet master’s silence before you noticed him staring at something, bug eyed and pale skinned. You realised he hadn’t looked at you at all, and your gaze followed, head tilting up until you noticed your voyeur, and froze momentarily.

What to do? Hiss? Swear? Burp really loudly and slouch? Throw something? A hiss from Gustav to ‘bow!’ made you slowly turn your head to look at him with blatant disgust, before your eyes slid back up to Eris, rolling them as your lip curled out and you let out a soft, delicate “Ugh.”

You heard something that sounded like a snarl and a squeak from Gus behind you, but you waved a hand, declaring airly, “I’m taking five!”

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

Eris’ face was the last thing you saw in your mind as you went to the studio’s small cafe to purchase a well-earned treat. It’s certainly handsome. Well- Grumpy, miserable-looking, arrogant, snobbish and so so so many other wonderful adjectives. But you had to give him credit… He was… pretty.

The croissant you purchased was steaming hot, so you tossed it in its brown paper bag between both hands, fingertips suitably warmed against the cool autumn weather. You walked along the hallway, your eyes focused on the large, golden gilded framed portraits of various dancers who had also traisped about the hallway you ambled through, croissant in hand as you appreciated each stroke of paint which captured their serious, serene expressions. You stopped in front of a painting to take a bite out of your warm treat- the clerk claimed it was filled with raspberry coulis, but you figured she was lying after the first bite, where you had bitten into nothing but fluffy, buttery goodness. The second bite was as uneventful as the first, but it was the third that made you jolt, as a hot, raspberry-ness flooded your mouth, your hand cupping under the treat a few seconds too late, before you heard a ‘splat!’, peeking down and swearing softly as raspberry hit the marbled floor.

“Oh… bloody… fuck.” You hissed, glaring at the dark pink splat, before stomping back to get tissues, kneeling down at your mess and sighing irritatedly- that would have been the perfect bite if the filling didn’t try to jump down your throat.

“Charming.” A voice replied, and you noticed the tips of brown, shiny leather shoes near your knees, making your eyes narrow. Oh, for fuck’s sake.

Eris Vanserra peered down at you, his grating voice a drawl as you slowly craned your head to peer up at him with an unamused glare, to which his lips quirked to the side in a crooked smirk.

“I hope you won’t be this uncouth when you perform for my family.” You immediately stopped kneeling, lest to give him any more of an inflated ego than he already has, and glowered.

“I don’t really care what you nor your family think of me.”

“Charming, indeed.” He hummed, russet eyes filled with a smug gleam, the light seeming to dance in his irises the more you glowered and frowned at him. You both stared at each other, you more hostile in your gaze than he, before you turned away to distance yourself and ignore him, only for his grating voice to sound off again, your ears catching his reply a little too attentively for your liking.

“You’ll have to accompany me to the Equinox ball even after you dance, by the way. It is custom- and honourable for someone like… yourself.” His eyes slowly scanned your face, meeting your eyes before they found something else on you to hone in on.

Oh, brilliant. Here we go.

“Someone like myself?” You repeated, raising an eyebrow as irritation made itself known even more than before.

“Of course. Independent, apprehensive, different. I’m surprised you can even bear to be in those impossible costumes and tutus. It’s like putting a bonnet on a bear.” His smile- mocking, unserious, condescending, was all you could focus on- your ears twitching at his tone of voice.

‘Apprehensive? Different! I’ll show him apprehensive-’

“Hah! ‘Different’?” You kissed your teeth, nodding before standing in front of his face, raising your coulis filled croissant and taking an aggressive bite, letting a small, thick glob of raspberry splatter onto his shiny, pretty shoes. Eris let out a small grunt as he stepped back, glaring down at his shoes for a long time, before his gaze lifted up to you, only to see your back as you had stormed off promptly, croissant in hand.

“You have something on your face, by the way!” His voice called out, in what you could only figure was mockingly. A hand raised up to the corner of your mouth, and you swore under your breath, yet you doubled down.

“And you’ve got something on your shoes!”

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

Eris blinked at the dancer down below, his eyes wide with awe. From the first time he had seen her at the start of the week, she managed to become more and more brilliant over time- as if each day that he didn’t see her, she became more talented and beautiful. [Y/N] was your name. [Y/N] [L/N].

He had seen you when you debuted for one of your more high-achieving roles- had taken his mother privately for a viewing of one of the ballets that had played in the amphitheatre when just after Amarantha had been destroyed- a celebration of freedom. Your rendition of Swan Lake, and your variation of the white and black swan had brought the Lady of Autumn to tears- how could a small thing like you capture the understanding of being trapped, of isolation and grief so beautifully? For a long time he had wondered about you- even at balls, where he waltzed around with other nameless women that could never compare to your poise and discipline- your fluidity and grace. Did you like to waltz? Were you shy and reserved? Angelic and sweet? Or were you alluring and confident? Seductive and playful?

Neither, he had decided when you looked up at him with your evident disdain, and your uncaring sneer. You were a third, greater thing. And you were absolutely magnificent. He realised there and then that he had to speak with you, even if just for a brief moment- he needed to feel the brunt of your fire firsthand. So when he had spied you walking through the halls so prettily, each step poised and perfect even off-duty, it made him feel strange. He just had to be close to you.

“Charming.” He mused, though he had paused when he realised he had spoken out loud. He wanted to correct himself, but your gaze knocked the air out of him, and he panicked- opting for his signature smirk to disguise his awkwardness. 

‘Whatever is going on, snap out of it.’ He thought harshly, before blinking as he realised he had been staring- so he spoke again.

“I hope you won’t be this uncouth when you perform for my family.” His voice was smooth, cool and collected like it usually was, and he was amused by your glower. Were you this angry all the time? It was oddly endearing, in a strange, funny way. Cauldron, your gaze was unforgiving. He wondered how many stupid males had been on the end of it.

“I don’t really care what you nor your family think of me.” His ears twitched slightly at that tone, and something stirred within him, making him want to smile. Oh, you were really funny when you were upset.

“Charming, indeed.” He nodded, a smile growing on his face as he admired you, enjoying the banter you two seemed to share.

“You’ll have to accompany me to the Equinox ball even after you dance, by the way. It is custom- and honourable for someone like… yourself.” His eyes slowly scanned your face, and he hoped he didn’t sound too excited when he mentioned it. He’d get to waltz with you, and show off his skills, and hope that you’d be as impressed with him as he was with you. He was too excited indeed, though he was curious with the way your irritation grew.

“Someone like myself?” You repeated, and he wanted to laugh. You were so silly!

“Of course. Independent, apprehensive, different. I’m surprised you can even bear to be in those impossible costumes and tutus. It’s like putting a bonnet on a bear.” He joked, enjoying himself greatly as he caught your attention and held onto it as long as he did. You were quite apprehensive, yes. Very grouchy and unagreeable, but still certainly pretty. He was proud of his ‘bears in bonnets’ joke too- that usually worked wonders with anyone he mentioned it to.

So why were you still looking at him like that? And did you know about the smear of raspberry under your lower lip? He wanted to tell you, or wipe it off at least when you spoke again.

“Hah! ‘Different’?” You made a noise that he recognised as irritation, and Eris watched you shift your stance, as if you were aiming to lob the pastry you had been eating at him. Had he misspoke? He watched you move closer to him, his eyes on your mouth as you raised the croissant and bit into it messily, letting a small, thick glob of raspberry splatter onto his shoes.

How inconvenient.

Eris let out a small grunt as he stepped back, blinking dumbly at his shoes for a long time, before his gaze lifted up to you, only to see your back as you had stormed off promptly.

“You have something on your face, by the way!” His voice called out in a weak attempt to be helpful.

“And you’ve got something on your shoes!”

Hah! She was certainly... spirited. That was no way to treat a Vanserra. She wouldn't last a minute in front of his father. Eris chuckled as he glanced down at his shoes again, clicking his tongue.

He'd simply have to come back and see you again.

╰┈➤ Lex's note 2: AHHHH it's done!! almost 3k AGAIN lmfao. i hope the dual p.o.v was good & made sense!!! if not, lmk and i'll stick solely to reader p.o.v only!! tysm everyone for the love this is getting! ch 3: 29/04 Week!! 🥹🫶🏼

[thatone-brightstar]

The Bear & The Fox (Carmy Berzatto x Fem!Reader)

Chapter 11: Collateral Damage

Words: 5.8k

Summary: It's been a month since your breakup with Carmy and Syd wouldn't ask for your help unless they were absolutely slammed.

a/n: 1 more chapter + epilogue to go and I don't know what to do with myselffff!!!!

Thank you for sticking around thus far and commenting is always appreciated!

Heartbreak is a funny little thing. You can walk a delicate line all your life to avoid feeling it, but one way or another it’ll find you. It’s the eternal debate: To avoid all and spare yourself from hurt, but live a life of emptiness and quiet; or to welcome the pain like an old friend, at peace and knowing you never stopped trying. Everyone chooses a side at some point, but you’re never really spared from it. 

You’ve always hated the part of you that feels too deeply. The one that created stories out of strangers, wonder struck by microseconds of eye contact, then shattered when they step off the train. The one that no matter how many times was dolefully blown into the ground, it still believes in good grace and  happy endings.

“So yeah… That’s basically it since the last time I saw you.” You say, twirling the small ring with the aquamarine stone that you had stopped wearing long ago. You look up to the woman sitting across from you and ask “What? You asked me how I was.”

“And I wasn’t expecting a two hour monologue.”

“Well what did you expect? Haven’t seen you in months, I needed to vent…” You fight back.

You can hear the soft scribbles of her pen for a couple minutes and you make yourself comfortable against the soft pillows that fill up most of her couch.

“So, how long has it been?” She speaks again.

“Bout a month…” You sigh.

“And have either of you tried reaching out?”

“No, I-” You take a breath and ponder over the question, the single unanswered text weighing heavy on your phone. “I wouldn’t know what to say. Besides, I’ve been too busy with my paintings and helping out with the auction. I don’t really have time for… anything else. I-I guess he’s been busy too.” 

“But you still know what he’s up to?” She asks with raised brows.

You shrug with a single shoulder and chew at your thumbnail with slight nerves. “Syd talks about work sometimes, when we go out. But I think she kinda feels guilty for bringing him up. I told her it’s fine.” The woman looks at you skeptically through the small circular glasses. “I’m fine.” You half lie. “I am, it's just… The auction is this weekend and they’re catering so… I don’t really know how I’m supposed to feel…”

“Because you’ll see him again?”

“...Yeah.”

The woman calls your name again and you rip your eyes from the ring on your finger, heavy inside your own head to hear her question.

“So, is your set finished?” She asks to change the conversation.

“Mhm. It only took me a couple weeks to finish but -” Your smile curls slowly at the edge of your lips. “I'm really proud of them.”

“That’s great to hear.” She whispers with a genuine smile. “You know, heartbreak can also be a beautiful thing. It’s painful, yes, but it also gives a vulnerability we don’t regularly allow ourselves. It lets us create wonderful things. It’s all part of the human experience. It truly is nice to know you’re doing better, even after going MIA for months.” She says with a practiced tone mothers use to scold you.

She schedules you in for the next month and you promise to not bail this time, then walking out the office with your bag over your shoulder and a lightweight heart. The prospect of seeing him at the auction is still heavy on your mind as you make your way to the train station and the simple thought fills your chest like a crisp breath of air. ‘He could just send Syd’ you think and you try to not engage too much with the idea in fear that it may sour your good mood.  Instead you focus on your steady steps and people watching, ‘whatever happens, happens.’ you mumble under your breath.

**********

Syd’s call had pulled you from the comfort of your home before the sun was even visible over the horizon. Her worried tone had you waking up instantly and darting frantically around your darkened room in search of anything that could shield you from the increasing cold, then out the door and in the dreaded direction of The Beef. 

It’s been a month since you last spoke with Carmy and even though in the grand scheme of time, it’s only a mere speck of dust, to you it had felt eternal. Small snippets blur together into one long strenuous day, piggy-backing off your grief and pushing your shoulders deeper into the ground. You had called him a few days after in hopes that you could talk things over, but it went straight to voicemail. So you left a text that you anxiously waited an answer for the following days. All of a sudden, one week turned into two, then three and before you knew it, a month had gone by without a response. You kept busy picking up most of the planning to avoid any crossing thought of him, only allowing yourself to break with your canvas in front and acrylics to spear. 

You had done enough to convince yourself you were fine, that even if he were to show up tomorrow and not send Syd on his behalf, you'd be fine. 

Fine. Fine. Fucking fine. 

Everything was fucking fine until this morning when Syd had called to ask for help at the restaurant. Richie had been arrested, the place was a mess and they were behind on prep for the event tomorrow because they were lacking hands. Protesting would only lose you time that they did not have, so in place of that you settle to ignore the treacherous wormhole vacuuming out the few remains of confidence you had saved for tomorrow as you wait for the train that’ll leave you on River North Station.

Twenty three minutes later, you're walking at a brisk pace through the streets with a thick knot for a stomach and a growing unease. You push through the door and stop in your tracks at the shock and disarray of the place.

“What the fuck? Ugh-” 

The potent smell of alcohol is the first thing that invades your nose, along with the stickiness of the floor the deeper you walk into the room. There’s solo cups scattered everywhere and half working Christmas lights hanging loosely over the walls. Some frames from the front wall lay broken, spewing shards of glass all around the tiles.

“Mi amor, qué sorpresa!” You hear Tina’s voice from behind the counter and you slowly walk towards her, the small pieces shattering under the weight of your boots.

She hugs you tight and kisses your cheek. “Tina, what the hell happened in here?! It smells like the fuckin’ Hangover…”

“Ay baby, don’t even get me started with these knuckleheads-”

You take another woeful look around, then follow her inside as she recounts the little information Sydney gave them from the frantic phone call she had with Carmen. How they rented out The Beef for a bachelor’s and Richie had knocked out some drunk while defending Carmen’s ass. It’s strange to you, the pair’s relationship. How they were always ready to rip each other to pieces, but would jump to save the other without a second thought. They said they couldn’t stand one another, but you’re sure they’re something either can’t live without.

“So what, he’s in for aggravated assault?” You ask.

“Only if the guy wakes up.” Marcus answers with a broom in hand, sweeping away remnants of glitter and tinsel.

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Could be 5 to 25 for accidental manslaughter…” Sweeps chimes in while carrying a full trash bag to the back.

Your throat closes up and behind your concern, you hear Marcus ask Sweeps how he knows so much about the matter. ‘Bro, I told you. I went to Harvard Law…’ ‘Oh yeah…’

You breathe in  deep while maintaining the possibility of his release still in your mind and you head to Syd’s side, pulling your hair up into a ponytail automatically. 

“Alright, brigade’s here. What d’you need?” You say after a quick hug hello.

“Guess you know more about it than I do…”

She’s flipping through the binder with all the recipes and images of the canapes they’d be serving, the one you helped Carmy assemble all those months back. Despite a few scribbles and notes at the foot of some recipes, it’s practically the same. You bend the corner lightly on the last page to find the miniature ‘C’ surrounded by purile hearts and your morning coffee grows knotty in your gut.

“Is he…” You try asking, but the sentence loses power half way through.

Syd seems to catch your drift. “No, no. He’s been down at the station since dawn.”

You nod absentmindedly with your eyes glued to the page. 

“Okay, um. Marcus left the sourdough for the tapas rising all night yesterday, so we have a good start on that-” Syd began and you pull all your attention to the task at hand. “Beef’s already bracing in the oven but it’ll take a couple more hours. You can start with the ginger- tangerine compote. That’ll go on the brie.” She says, handing you one of the blue aprons. 

“Alright, heard.” The words feel unnatural rolling off your tongue after being away from a kitchen for so long.

She leaves you in search of Fak, urging him to finish fixing the backed up sink in the Steward section. You drown out the bicker and hastily make your way into the walk-in, throwing the apron over your head and tying the back securely around your waist. It’s almost as if the familiar pressure unveils a dormant sensation and you soon find yourself navigating with ease through the skills you thought forgotten. The knife feels at home under your palm -heftier than a paint brush but still requires the same level of  concentration- as you separate the tangerine supremes and add them to the pot holding clarified butter, sugar and rosemary leaves. Everyone works in a rhythmic but comfortable silence, a stark difference from the frantic, unmeasured mess they seemed to thrive in when you still worked here. 

“Yo chef?” Marcus calls from your left. 

You lift your head to him while you finish peeling the ginger. “What's up?”

“Mind tasting this for me? It’s for the gig but somethin’ bout the filling don’t feel right…”

You nod and wipe your hands on your rag, then take a bite into the miniature stuffed doughnut that doesn’t seem bigger than an Oreo. The flavors are too thick to tell them apart but  the softness of the dough allows it to almost melt in your mouth. 

“The dough’s perfect-“ You say between bites, the compliment blooming over his face into a grin. “How bout a different filling though, there’s a lot going on and you can’t really enjoy the texture.”

“Right!? See, that’s what I was thinkin’. Got anything in mind?”

“Mmm, you could try a chai cream filling.”

“Just milk and cinnamon, then?”

“Yes and also no” You answer with a smile. “Try to steep some black tea in milk with cinnamon and ginger. Then instead of sugar, add honey to your crème and the chai milk. It should be a little bit more runny so when it cools it doesn’t get that jelly-like consistency from the egg.” You finish then turn back to peeling off the skin of the ginger with your spoon. 

Marcus is still standing beside you with a pleased smile. “You really know your stuff, huh? Thought you was burnt out.” and you lightly hit him over the arm with the back of your spoon. 

“Oh, I can totally smoke your ass baker boy..” You grin.

Before he can fight back, a sudden commotion by the entrance has you lifting your head above the second level of the table and searching for the noise. The slick handle of the spoon  almost slips past your hand when your eyes capture the image of two very sleep deprived Carmen and Richie walking through the staff door. You can see everyone showering them with attention, how Tina hugs Richie tight then smacks him hard over the head, but the loud ringing in your ears and the sudden rush of cold blood prevent you from moving any closer. Not that you’d want to anyway. You try to pull yourself together, wiping your clammy hands for the tenth time and watching them advance deeper into the room. Richie’s the first to spot you and true to his nature, he lets the whole room know that he’s seen you, with outstretched palms in your direction.

“Oh, shit! This a fuckin’ family reunion?!” His hand falls heavily over the crown of your head and you swat it away with a smack.

“How’s prison?” 

“Oh, y'know…free food, can’t complain.”

“D’you get yourself a bitch?” You tease.

“Yeah, brought ‘em home, actually-” He says pointing back to Carmy, causing the forming grin on your face to fall when you see he’s been watching you. You pull your eyes from him and back to your cutting board. “Oh right, my bad…”

You shake your head, mumbling a sharp ‘asshole’ through gritted teeth. Richie takes off to the back and you’re finally left at peace.

You fall into a pronounced balance of chopping and continuously stirring the compote, until it reaches the needed consistency and you pull it off the fire to cool. You check it off Syd’s thoroughly organized list and scroll down to find the next task, then make your way back into the walk-in. With a bowl resting on your hip, you pick out a few pears you’ll need, then hear the creak of the metal door open and you assume it’s Syd coming in to take a breather from the frenetic kitchen.

“Yo, I’m gonna start poaching the pears. You’re out of red wine but I can run to the corner store and try to flirt with the clerk to knock a few bucks off a bottle-”

The slick bowl almost slips from your grip when your eyes catch his. A chill slithers from your neck, down your spine and wraps around your knees, rendering them uselessly immobile as Carmy just stares you down through tired lids. The room grows uncomfortably smaller with the two of you locked inside and you're afraid that he can hear the irregular tempo in your quickening pulse. You wonder if the slight shock in his brows is due to not knowing you were in there. It only flashes for a second, then his features conceal behind a curtain of indifference, making your stand straighter.

“H-hey.” He says with a feign coolness as he wraps his own apron around his waist and moves deeper into the room, as if it’s the most natural thing to find you between the inventory of his restaurant.

You turn back to the shelf so he doesn’t notice the multiple quivery inhales it takes for your voice to sound somewhat even. “Syd asked me for help, that’s why I’m here I-”

“No- yeah, I get it- I wasn’t-” He cuts himself off and takes a breath that has your wavering stare slowly inching towards him. “Thank you…”

You finally turn to him, only holding his stare for a second, then give him a tight smile and wrap both arms securely around the bowl that wants to slip from your clammy palms. His lips part and you wait for anything else to leave his mouth, maybe a ‘How’ve you been?’ or a ‘Can we talk?’. But nothing does and you try to not let it sting as much as it normally does when you get your hopes up. You take a reluctant step towards the door, then another and another, only stopping when your name vibrates in the concealed room.

“Yeah…?” You turn with a full chest.

He holds an unopened bottle of wine in your direction, face blank. “Bottom left shelf.” He says, shrugging.

“Oh. Right.” You take it without meeting his stare so he doesn’t see the grief slapped across it and quickly push yourself out the space.

You spend the better part of half an hour peeling the thin skin off the pears and letting the simmering wine and spices fill the kitchen with a strong sweetness. Carmy’s presence looms around the room as he checks in with every station on their progress, but doesn’t stop with you. All you get is a soft ‘Behind’ and the tingling sensation of his touch on your lower back as he passes by. You don’t know if it’s on purpose or not, although it doesn't really matter to the breath that stops in your throat when he does it. ‘Just finish this and you can leave.’ you repeat to yourself. Though you know you won’t, at least not until they’re up to schedule, even if every second sharing the same space withers at your soul.

You do your best to focus on your task, only talking to Tina when she gently squeezes your forearm to ask if you're okay, because your brows are glued into that permanent scowl that only displays your irritation outward.

“Yeah I, um- just got a lot on my plate.” You tell her and try to not let it trigger the tears you’ve hoarded in the back of your throat.

“No te hará sentir mejor-” She whispers to your side. 

“-Probably not-”

“-pero él está igual de miserable que tú. Really baby, you should have a talk with him, y’know, straighten things out.”

“T, ni siquiera me ve a la cara…” You whisper back. “How am I supposed to straighten anything out if he won’t even look at me?”

“Ay, baby I know. But I’ve known that stubborn boy all his life and let me tell you, since he came back from Madison Square Park -or wherever the fuck-, he was all different and… bitchy. And it wasn’t ‘till you came along that he finally felt like the Carmy we all knew before… pues ya tu sabes.” She says in reference to his brother.

“You two are good for each other, but you’re both stubborn as hell… talk it out, okay? Don’t lose somethin’ good ‘cause you're stubborn.” Tina rubs your shoulder reassuringly then with a final smile. she turns yelling ‘Corner!’ and disappears behind the tall stands.

You swallow down the aching knot and distract yourself with the slippery fruit in your hands.

“Can I..?” You see his hands before hearing his voice, as he lightly places a white cutting board a few feet away from you. You eye the curves of discoloring letters above his knuckles, then force your stare back to your own working hands and shrug.

“Sure… your kitchen.”

He only nods, from your side view you see how his eyes linger on you for a few moments then fall back down. The air between you feels thick despite the music playing from the hoarse stereo and a light layer of conversation from the staff. There’s a heavy pressure over your chest that only seems to expand with every silent minute passing between you. 

Then Carmy clears his throat. “How’s-uhm- your set.. for the auction?” 

Confusion and irritation brew in synchronicity with your wine and you try to hide the annoyance his question brings you. He acts as if he’s just seen you the day before, as if things had ended with a friendly handshake and a mutual agreement, not with him breaking up with you and completely vanishing from your life.

“It’s fine.” You turn to the burners and stir the pot slowly to keep it from burning and also to avoid his heavy gaze.

You taste it to make sure the flavors are correct then turn back to finally finish peeling the last of your pears. Carmy stares at you like he wants to say something else, but just contemplates the seriousness of your features and the flow of your hands as you move the peeler in a frenzy. Each stroke grows closer to your skin and he just feels the need to warn you.

“Careful you’re gonna-”

“Mierda!” You hiss, dropping the handle immediately and cradling your palm under the injured one. “Hijo de puta!”

He’s by your side in a second, with his clean towel hovering under your hands and taking the fruit that you crushed involuntarily when the pain closed your fist. 

“It’s fine- I’m fine.” 

“No you’re not, you’re bleeding-”

“I said I’m fine!” You pry your hand hard enough to hear a slight pop from your wrist.

Carmy’s hands fall to his sides and you divert your gaze to the floor walking to the nearest sink to clean your wound. You hiss again when the warm water hits your palm and a gash at the bottom of it is finally visible. Fucking perfect. You scrub remnants of puree and blood off, until the water runs a light pink and you're relieved to see it won’t need stitches. A gauze and some tape will suffice, so you wrap it in some paper towels to avoid dripping and march to the small office where you find the kit. The quicker you move, the faster you’ll be out of the confined space that makes you feel like a vulnerable prey. But your fingers tremble from the light sting and the edge of the wrapper isn’t cooperating with your dull nails. Tiny droplets of blood pool in the center of your palm, the frustration grows too quickly and you slam the unopened gauze flat on the desk.

“Fuck!”

‘It’s fine, you’re fine.’ The voice in your head circles through the same phrase, pretending that the sudden proximity of him didn’t unearth something you have tried so hard to bury down for the last month. You thought you could be mature enough to ignore the crushing weight settling over you with every stare, but the wisps of frigid indifference that radiated off him wrapped a tightening noose around your neck and you weren’t sure how long you had until it finally killed you. 

A soft click pulls your attention from the crimson in your hand. Carmy stands with raised palms, inching slowly towards your intense glare, then reaches out a hand as if trying to help a wounded animal. Which in a way, you are and the joke forming in your mind about the bear helping a fox would be rather funny if you weren’t so immensely upset with him.

With a ragged sigh, you turn in the small space and stretch out your hand to him, eyes locking on a painting on the wall to evade his stare. You ignore the furor of goosebumps that invade your skin the second his touch is on you. Carmen’s hand holds you in the cocoon of his fist, thumb rubbing delicate circles beside the battered spot while he uses the paper towel to soak up all the blood. You reprimand your wayward beats for their reaction to his innocent touch and you have to constantly pull your wandering gaze from reaching the dangerous borders of his tightened jaw. His deep exhales fan the baby hairs resting at the bottom of your neck, his attention fixed on the small imperfection. His movements are slow, asking each muscle for permission to move the next, because having you this close after so long is a luxury he does not want to rush through, not if he’s never getting it again. 

Carmy understood your anger. He could feel it radiating off you in waves that bounced in the small space, but he also understood that he’s never had enough words to properly express the turmoil of everythingness swirling constantly inside his head. He wanted to let you know how hard it had been for him too. Confess the unhealthy amount of time he was spending at the restaurant- only going home to shower then leaving again- because he was afraid of the scent of your perfume and how it lingered on every breathable space in his home… apartment- not home- at least not since you had gone.

He focuses on swabbing the sanitizing wipe tenderly in hopes that his actions can transmit what he can’t say. The alcohol makes you hiss again and his eyes flicker to your frowned brows, mumbling a soft ‘sorry’.

He only lets go to tear open the gauze and some tape, then takes you in his grasp again to wrap your palm up safely. You expect him to let go once he’s done. To create as much needed space to fit the betrayal he portrayed the last time you saw him, this would only explain why he never called back. But he doesn’t. And he doesn’t look up at you either. Your stares meet on the flesh where his thumb still brushes over the blood-stained pit, your chest raises in slow puffs and the uninjured hand grips tightly over the edge hitting behind you. This is all too familiar again, right down to the brewing anxiety trickling heat into your overworked veins. You can't help but to foolishly crawl your pupils over the navy blue of his apron, past the strained tendons of his neck, the sharpness of his nose and to the beautiful blue you had missed so much.

Neither of you notice how the space has reduced to mere inches between you until his eyes flicker to yours and every single speck is bright and visible for your admiration. He swallows down hard, the Adam's apple bouncing in his throat portrays his nerves openly to you. The last reasonable, minute voice in his head tells him to pull away, but the way you’re staring up at him has his body tilting in your direction instead. Eyes wide and glossy dance around the freckles dusting his cheeks, causing his hand to float from your wrist to the dip of your waist and his forehead finally falls against yours.

You gasp in softly when his fingers dig into the center of your spine while his nose brushes along yours longingly. You can feel his sultry exhales ghost over the curve of your parted lips with doubt still present in his movements.

“Carmy…” The voice is above a whisper and you’re not sure you even have the strength to utter the sentence that’s formed in your head.

Your voice seems to trigger something in him. His jaw hardens, his fingers bunch up your shirt in a light fist and just as quickly, his grip on you loses strength and his hand falls to rest beside your fisted one. Then a grave sigh parts his chest and he takes a painful step back, unwilling to lift his eyes from the ground.

It takes a minute for you to react, then the butterflies in your stomach turn to wasps swarming in dangerous circles, unable to fly out due to the knot blocking your throat. He’s eerily silent, eyes glued to the floor to ignore your fiery glare.

“Sorry, I…” 

You scoff and shake your head, blinking rapidly to pull back the tears threatening to spill with your anger.

“Screw you, Carmen.” You untie the apron as quickly as you can with your injured hand and throw it at his desk before walking out of the small room.

With strong footsteps, you take your bag from above the lockers and escape out the back. The door slams hard as you push yourself out, Carmen following behind but by the time he calls your name you’re already a couple steps ahead.

“Fox!” He yells and you spin in his direction with nothing but anger over your face.

“Listen, I’m sor-”

“No-fuck you- you don’t get to talk, alright?! It’s my turn.” He takes a step back before crashing into you, jaw locked tight and regardless of the deafening ring in your ears, you refuse to bite your tongue again.

“Look Carmy, I am truly sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier and I’m so sorry that I’m here instead of your brother- but that does not mean you get a fuck-it-all free card and get to pull shit like that!” Tears of anger trickle down your heated skin and tickle the curve of your trembling lips.

“I called you Carmy…” The words burn as they force themselves to spill out. “I called you, and I texted you and I waited cause I knew you were pissed - and you have every fuckin’ right to be- but it doesn’t give you the right to kick me out of your life one second, then act as if everything’s fine the next, cause it’s not!”

The sounds of the city have grown mute between your heavy breaths and the erratic beating in your skull. You don’t expect him to answer and he doesn’t seem to have anything to say. He simply stands before you, eyes glossy and brows knitted as you bare all that you kept since the last time you saw him.

“I know you’re scared. And I know you’re angry and whatever this is-was-” You say pointing between you. “I know it didn’t come at a right time. But I meant what I said, Bear, I do love you. So fucking much. But that doesn’t mean it’s fair of you to take it out on me cause you’re angry at him… I refuse to be collateral damage for whatever the fuck you got going on.”

The weight over your chest might have shrunk, but it didn’t make you feel any less better than before, especially not with the way he’s looking at you. You want nothing more than to run to his side and kiss away the few stray drops that nest in the corner of his red rimmed eyes. You want to hug him tight until the loose pieces of his brokenness stick back together into one whole man, but the last of logic inside you knows that it would only serve as a temporary band-aid. So instead you offer a speck of a smile, just a soft curve that doesn’t reach your teary eyes.

“I love you, Carmy. So I dunno, give me a call when you sort it out- I know it’s more of a ‘when’ than an ‘if’ situation-… I think I’m stupid enough to answer.”

Carmen watches from his frozen position as you rub the tears away with the back of your hand, then the gravel crunches under your boots and in a few seconds you disappear around the corner. 

He has enough energy to slump over the crates by the wall and pull the crushed package of smokes from his back pocket. While the wisp of smoke swirls in the wind around him, he rubs his eyes until the image of your tear-soaked face blurs away behind the darkness. The gravel creeks again, heavy steps move from his left then settle with a groan beside him.

“I’m not in the mood, alright?” He says, eyes focused on the street at the end of the alley.

Richie doesn’t say anything, only takes out his own cigarette and joins his cousin in silence.

“Is there, um-” His voice is thick and wavering, barely holding on to controlled breaths. “Is there a name for… when you’re afraid of somethin’ good happening cause you think somethin’ bad’s gonna happen? ”

His thumb rubs anxiously over the same spot on his palm as he waits for Richie’s response.

“Fuck it, I dunno… life?” He takes a long drag, letting the exhale occupy the empty space in front of them. “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah…” Then the silence falls over them again.

When his cigarette burns out, Carmy reaches for another, but before he can settle the lighter back down, Richie pulls out a small envelope from the pocket of his jacket and hands it to him. Carmy’s reluctant to take it, his eyes flicker between his cousin and the piece of paper, then he slowly reaches out.

“What’s this?”

“It’s from your asshole brother… R.I.P and whatnot.” Is all he says.

His hand trembles again, his breath short circuits and a new wave of dread nips at the back of his neck. He swallows hard and breathes in deep, bracing himself, before turning it over. ‘This day just keeps getting better…’

Chapter 12.

Taglist: @pearlstiare @teteminne, @beebslebobs, @harrysmatcha, @yum-yahgurt, @pussy-f41ry, @kirakombat and that’s it lmao

[rileys-battlecats]

I really like your work! I discovered it a while ago but recently found it again and explored your tumblr finally. I'm not sure if me deciding to spend a couple hours going through your entire posting history over curiosity about Mica clan is a compliment to you or says something about me but I did it.

It was really neat seeing your Shut Eye video. Also, just to satisfy my own curiosity: it looks like of the thirteen you have Heroncall, Oriolewing, Addereye, Larksong/star, Foxjaw, Owlpounce, Buckfoot, Snaptail and her two kits, another queen and her kit, and a random cat. Are you willing to share any information about the other queen and the random cat. But it was nice to see a bit about where the clan came from, and if your ever decide to make a video about the clan's founding know I will eagerly await it.

Also, thanks so much for the family tree. Part of the reason I went through your entire tumblr was because I was curious about the details behind the clan so it's nice to have that, if a tad too late for me to save a couple hours. Also, is Heroncall mates with Buckfoot? And it looks like Robinsong may have mated with the kit in the Shut Eye video that belongs to the other queen, am I right? Also, it's really neat to sea Owlpounce and Foxjaw being siblings. It makes sense with how fluffy they are, and Embertooth is too. Also, it's really funny comparing Owlpounce and Foxjaw with their social skills and steady personality to Embertooth, who is somewhat prickly. I can also see Puddlepaw being related to the three, maybe as a cousin to Embertooth? They're very fluffy and I can see their personality as less social but just as steady as Owlpounce and Foxjaw. Is Orchidstar related to Owlpounce? When I saw her she reminded me of Owlpounce and she's also fairly fluffy.

Side not: With how depleted the clan first was after the disaster, and with how they picked up Birchspeckle just for her abilities, was there a time where the clan was friendly to outsiders just afterwards? Before the illness and attacks I can see them almost needing the extra cats. It would make it horribly ironic how they isolate Mudpaw for all that several of them would also be only half-clan, and explain all the question marks you have in the family tree. They're cats that were encountered and helped create kittens but weren't necessarily interested in joining.

Sorry for the length of this by the way.

ok first of all I love super long asks so no need to apologize HAHA

The unnamed background cats haven't really been thought through at this point, but the random cat (not the queen or kit) is Addereye's apprentice at the time of the disaster! Not sure what happens to him, but it can be assumed he lives with the clan and probably dies before the events of Mudpaw's story.

Good eye spotting Buckfoot on the family tree! I had the idea in the back of my mind of them being one of Mudpaw's ancestors ever since I designed them. I've said before on here but Micaclan doesn't really endorse the whole "healers can't have families" rule, and they especially didn't care for it after the disaster, when their numbers were so low. Plus, I like the idea of Mudpaw reminding Owlpounce of her old mentor :') I also like the idea of Puddlepaw and Orchidstar being related to Owl, Fox, and Ember! having all the fluffy cats related to each other is so funny to me ^^

Directly after the disaster, I imagine the clan sort of relied upon the help of strangers in order to survive. Maybe they even took some into the clan at first, like Birchspeckle. But I think the thing that really started their sort of isolationist-tendencies was the slow loss of their culture. I think it's entirely probable that, in taking outsiders into their group, they began losing some of the traditions and beliefs that made them Micaclan. If the outsiders they allowed to join didn't care for the idea of Starclan, or for the idea of caring for the weakest among them before themselves, or for following the warrior code... would they even be Micaclan anymore? After losing their home, their families, their ancestral territory, their very connection to Starclan... would they, the last survivors of Micaclan, maybe even the last survivors of any clan, be the ones to allow their traditions and way of life to be lost forever?

It's this fear, I think, that caused Micaclan to veer so sharply into isolation. Larkstar has many flaws, and even if it stemmed from a desire to see her and her clan's way of life preserved, she still encouraged an unhealthy distrust of outsiders in the clan. By doing what she thought best at the time, doing what she thought would keep them and their way of life safe, she ended up creating a culture of isolationism, and this very isolationism harms the clan and its members. Birchspeckle was made to feel unwanted by the clan that raised her, Possum was fully disowned for wanting to leave the clan and explore, and Mudpaw was treated badly because of the clan's subconscious dislike for anyone they consider to be other. The changes the clan underwent did preserve most of their culture, it's true, but it also meant that they lost one of the core ideals that Micaclan was built on; Micaclan was formed by non-clan cats who decided they wanted to come together and embody a code of ethics that they found admirable. Micaclan was never formed on the basis of blood!

[delcakoo]

Getting giggly thinking about Prince Yeonjun meeting his princess for the first time? Also why were up at 1 am 🤨🤨🤨

PRINCE YEONJUN I LITERALLY YELPED RAVEN ILY FOR THIS. oh. and uh… i was uh.. doing important things!! 😇 anywaYs enjoy jshsjs

9:02AM — “yeonjun, tuck your shirt in for the last time,” a strict, female voice barks in the distance.

you awkwardly balance your weight from one heel to another as your soon-to-be husband paces over to you, rolling his foxy eyes whilst his mother sends him strict side glares.

the prince looks as if he’d rather be anywhere else in the world; gloved hands digging into his pockets unceremoniously and plush lips formed in a subtle frown.

nonetheless, your own mother’s face brightens with each and every step they take. “smile, honey,” she reminds passive aggressively.

“why, you both look simply ethereal!” yeonjun’s mother compliments once they come to a stop, bowing with gracefulness that her son begrudgingly copies.

while the queen’s blabber on and feed each other sweet talk, yeonjun finally returns your gaze. he scans you up and down, seemingly unimpressed by his default expression. your brows furrow, feeling offended by the male’s lack of respect and decency.

was this rude, stuck up jerk really the man you’d be married off to?

“well, how about we let them introduce themselves on their own while i fetch you a cup of tea?” your mother offers, extending a gloved hand out to miss choi.

“that sounds delightful.” with one last squeeze to her son’s shoulder, the queen leans in, whispering something unreadable against his ear before prancing off elegantly.

now, only you and yeonjun remain outside the palace. he makes no move to do anything, so you reluctantly take charge despite only wanting to scold him for his awful, un-princely attitude. “i’ll show you around.” you don’t give him time to refuse, making your way inside with confident steps.

luckily, the prince doesn’t put up much of a fight; black dress shoes clicking and alerting you of his looming presence close behind.

you pause in the first hallway with a nervous gulp. “so.. this is where we—“

“what do you want?” the black haired boy rudely interrupts.

you frown, “pardon?”

he rolls his eyes yet again, and you resist the urge to comment on how it’ll get stuck there if he didn’t stop. “fortune? pleasure? fame?” he lists off as if he’d said it a billion times before, eyes drifting off to a nearby painting hanging delicately. “which one?”

squinting, you try to study his features and read his emotions, but as usual they offer you nothing. “uh, none?” you reply honestly, and at last, yeonjun turns to face you in peaked curiosity. “i just want to make my parents happy.”

yeonjun hates the fact that he falls for your confident tone and body language. “well, me too,” he mumbles so softly that you nearly miss it.

“then.. why is it that you’ve broken up with all.. what even is it now— ten of your past wives?” you couldn’t stop yourself from blurting it out, even if it was definitely a question for another day.

however, the choi family’s son seems to care even less. “they were all just using me for different reasons,” he replies instantly. “not a single one actually gave a shit about me as a person, so why should i allow them to sleep next to me in my bed?”

you blink at his honesty, nodding in understanding, “that makes sense.”

yeonjun snaps his head over to you, face still blank, but eyed widened a fraction. “it- it does?”

“uh.. yeah?”

he gulps, unsure of what to say. “sorry, it’s just.. i’m usually told that i’m wrong and i should just learn to accept it.”

feeling proud that he’s opening up to you, you quickly reply with something a princess should definitely not say. “well they’re all dickheads, aren’t they?” yeonjun nearly chokes, coughing in surprise before a laugh tumbles out of his lips. his brown, fox eyes crinkle softly, and you can’t help but think he looks shockingly cute like this. “what?” you ask through your own giggles.

“i’ve never heard a princess say such a word,” he cackles.

“well, i suppose you’ll have to give me a chance if you’d like to hear more.” you wiggle your brows playfully, a mischievous smirk still on your lips.

then, the prince does something he’s never done to a girl before (at least, out of his own free will). with a few steps towards you, yeonjun wraps his arm around your waist, leading you off to where your mother’s wait in the dining hall. maybe he’s gullible, maybe this was all a set up and you were simply a wonderful actor.

but at least for now, yeonjun felt genuine hope. “i think i will, princess.”

this was prob not what u expected sorry for the slight angst 🫶 also ten wives was supposed to be an exaggeration if u couldn’t tell 😭😭

[writtenonreceipts]

@elucienweekofficial​

Elucien Week Day Seven: Au/Free Day

Here’s a snippet from the regency/arranged marriage au that is slowly killing me.  One day soon the full thing will be ready.  But this is my favorite scene from it...well, one of them...

no tag list...

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

The Fox in the Garden

It was when Elain was twelve that she met Lucien Vanserra for the first time.

She wasn’t supposed to be outside in the gardens, but she simply couldn’t resist.  It was still early enough in spring that the new blooms were still budding, and leaves were unfurling that it all had an heir of magic to it.  In just a few weeks this garden would be transformed from bare branches to insurmountable beauty.  And she wanted to see every moment of that transition.

Even if it was still a bit cold.  And yes, the clouds overhead were gray and fierce and looked ready to pounce.  But it was no longer winter.  She needn’t be contained anymore.

So, Elain wandered the gardens.  She could identify most of the plants by their leaves alone.  After, kindly, bullying the head gardener to teach her about his stewardship, Elain had come to more fully appreciate this small piece of the world.

As she rounded a corner of her favorite part of the garden, she saw a flash of red and a creature dashed out of the shrubbery.  It paused in the middle of the path, staring at her.  A fox.  Sleek and lean with large russet eyes.

“Oh, aren’t you a surprise,” Elaid said, because what else was there to say? “Having a look around?”

Its tail twitched and head listed to one side.  And then a great shout echoed across the garden and the fox flitted off again.

Elain couldn’t help her cry of dismay when a boy, just a few years older than her, came charging through the garden.  He was impeccably dressed for a boy his age with crisp linen and shiny boots.  His fiery red hair hung over his face as he ran towards Elain.

“Where is it?” he asked with obvious desperation.

“I--what?” Elain stared at him, this strange boy with a pal-mal racquet in one hand and determination in his eyes.

“The fox!  The blasted thing stole through the game and ruined my shot!”

Elain blinked. “You were startled by a fox?”

The boy scowled. “I didn’t say I was scared.”

“Then how did it ruin your shot?” she insisted.

“It ran out in front of me,” he replied.

“And you got distracted?”

“No!” The boy did not appreciate her at this moment, she could see that well enough. 

“Then what’s the problem?” she asked.

“It’s a menace,” the boy said.  He looked at her in earnest now.  Elain could see how bright his eyes were, rich brown like the fox’s.  His skin was a warm, rich color, darker than most in the -ton. “I want to catch it.”

Elain’s eyes widened. “What on earth for?  You wouldn’t hurt it would you?”

The boy started.  “Well, I suppose I don’t know.  I didn’t think that far.”

“You’re very strange,” Elain told him.

“Well so are you,” he said.

It was Elain’s turn to scowl.  How dare he!  He didn’t know her from Adam.

“I am a respectable young lady and I would ask that you treat me as such,” she said, and then lifted her chin in the air for good measure.

“You’re covered in dirt,” the boy said. “Ladies don’t roll around in the dirt.”

Elain glanced down.  It appeared he was right.  She’d knelt beside the roses pulling weeds earlier.  And then there was a mess of fallen branches in the hydrangeas.  Not to mention lavender.

“A lady is allowed her hobbies, and her discretion,” she said, perfectly mimicking her tutors.

The boy cocked his head. “I don’t know.  Still seems strange to me, you were talking to yourself too.  Or is that another one of your discretions you're allowed?”

Was he mocking her?  Elain couldn’t help her scowl, even with her mother’s inner monologue raging in her head.  

“At least I’m not running about like a savage waving a stick,” she said.

“It’s fun, you should try it,” he replied, “but ladies aren’t meant to be savages.”

“No,” she said, “they’re not.”

And then, for whatever reason, he grinned at her.  Something wild and bright and utterly different than what Elain ever saw on anyone.  He then swept into a low boy.

“Lucien Vanserra,” he said, “seventh son to the duke.”

The Duke? Elain stared at him.  Her father was a lord who managed funds and trades.  This boy, Lucien, so clearly outranked her in social standing that Elain could hardly even think.  Mother was going to be furious for being so forward and impolite to him.

“And you, my lady,” Lucien asked, his impish grin still in place. “Might I know of your name?”

If she didn’t tell him her name then he couldn’t tattle on her for being so uncivilized.  

Elain clamped her mouth shut and shook her head.  Not only would mother scold her, but she could also revoke Elain’s privileges relating to the garden, or baking.  If either of those things happened, Elain had no idea what she would do.  She would be forced to read.  Or paint. Or cross-stitch.

“Elain!” 

She started, terrified that her mother had found her out in the garden, dirty, talking to the duke's son of all things.  Hand clutched to her chest, she spun around, searching for who was calling for her.

Walking quickly down the path towards her was Nesta.  Barely a year older than her, Nesta was already so lovely.  Her dress was perfectly pressed and arranged, and her body, perfect for dancing, moved with perfect elegance.

“Elain, what are you doing?” Nesta demanded as she drew closer.

While Nesta wouldn’t tell their mother about this little venture, she would try and mother hen Elain the rest of the day.  Elain glanced at Lucien.  As if he could help.

All he did was offer another bow. “Lady Elain.”

And then he was scampering off the way he came.

“Elain!” Nesta finally stepped up beside her and took her arm. “Who was that?  What’s going on?”

“It was, I was,” she was at a loss for words.  In all her life, Elain always had the words for every situation. “There was a fox.”

Nesta did not like that answer.  She tugged at Elain’s arm, pulling her back to the manor.

“Come on, you have to change before mother sees you.”

There was no other choice than to follow.

[spnwin-reader]

Prime Dean gives Alt John the tools to unlock the truth and decide for himself if he will hunt

Original run context: John's feelings of betrayal

In the original #SPNprime, John was not allowed to fight for or defend himself until it was already too late. This made the wound of Mary's death much, much deeper than it would have otherwise been.

Unlike with Sam keeping the truth from Jess out of shame, Mary's keeping the truth from John may stem from incredible fear, watching Azazel kill him in The Beginning.

(It's perhaps more akin to Dean symbolically blinding Lisa and Ben to the truth to keep them safe than how Sam was with Jess.)

But the in The Song Remains the Same, John (temporarily) learns the truth, and he is (rightfully) frustrated by having been kept in the dark. He feels intense betrayal. He feels like a child.

JOHN: Monsters. Monsters? MARY: Yes. JOHN: Monsters are real. MARY: I'm sorry, I didn't know how— JOHN: And you fight them? All of you? SAM: Yeah. JOHN: How long? MARY: All my life. John, just try to understand— DEAN: She didn't exactly have a choice— JOHN: Shut up, all of you! Look, not another word, or so help me, I will turn this car around! Silence falls.

/// LATER ///

JOHN: What? Y'all might have treated me like a fool, but I am not useless. I can draw a damn— (JOHN picks up the paper from next to a large knife.)—whatever it is—a sigil.

///

Original run context: Mary continued to hunt near/during the beginning of her marriage?

In Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox, we learn that it could've been Mary who created much of the tension in their marriage by potentially stepping out on John to hunt, calling into question if the fight shown between them in Dark Side of the Moon.

MARY: "No, John. We're not having this conversation again. Time to think? About what? You have two boys at home." DEAN: "I remember this. Mom and dad were fighting, and then he moved out for a couple of days." MARY: "Fine. Then don't. There's nothing more to talk about."

Now we wonder: Was this fight even John's fault to begin with? The stereotype of "angry husband" might lull you into thinking so, but it's equally possible that it was Mary that originated the fight--Mary who had a long, canon-supported history of lying. She's even the one shutting down the conversation here!

Mary would probably rather John think she's unfaithful than risk John being dragged into hunting, and she'd probably pivot to supporting their kids as an excuse to smooth things over. (Just as Cas would rather Dean assume anything so long as he's not dragged into the dangerous world of angelic Civil War).

Alternatively, the fight may have even been part of the normal ebb-and-flow of a marriage. It may have been that the fight looked a LOT bigger through the eyes of a sensitive four-year-old.

(A couple of days ain't even that long, but boy it sure does feel big when you're a kid. But just because their marriage wasn't "perfect" doesn't mean it wasn't good, and the Dean-Sam conversation completely misses on that front.)

//

One of the things post-season 12 in #SPNprime does so beautifully is calls into question everything we know about Mary, including the cartoonish idea of John as the root of all evil.

Mary's lies are given rich complexity, as is Dean's memory of her.

Everything in Dark Side of the Moon, from the idea of "Heaven" as the "perfect place you grow up" to being simplistically at peace with your siblings/"littermates" in the ideal childhood home forever is given more complexity by the narrative unfridging of Mary.

(It's why the gate to Heaven is always associated with a playground. "There's no place like home," is literal in SPN. Heaven can even be seen as the idealization of childhood, as sharing the same history.)

///

Dean helps John because Dean was also "locked out" during critical periods in his life, prevented from Danger "for his own good"

Dean feels this pain acutely in season 6, when Samuel Campbell, his brother Sam, and Bobby Singer keep him out of the larger hunting plot in order to "keep him at peace."

Despite their good intentions, this denied him the right to choose for himself if he'd meet The Fight head on.

Cas, too, does this with the angelic Civil War, with Kelly Kline, general "angel business," and The Empty deal, and Dean feels that as unintended rejection.

He feels, like John, coddled. Like a child. Not getting the chance to be an equal comrade or partner in the fight.

///

Here, prime Dean is giving John the key to discover the truth about monsters and Henry's Men of Letters heritage.

Certainly John has a lot of emotional baggage and childhood abandonment trauma to work through, but at least this time he'll have more agency ahead of time, and he'll get to choose which path to prepare for rather than having the world of monsters thrust upon him in the midst of a grief-spiral.

Dean has handed that power of Choice back to John.

Perhaps prime Dean too is wounded from being kept in the dark. Perhaps he longs for a world were he's known about Cas's The Empty deal instead of, like John, being blindsided and struck dumb by grief.

[yuriko-mukami]

His Possession Maniac: Epilogue

Yuriko lay on her bed, pressing her fox plushie against her chest. Days had turned long now that she couldn’t go to school and Ruki had kept his distance for a while. They should have gone looking for the shrine, but he had simply told her that first, they should solve how to keep her newly appeared skills in check.

Yet that wasn’t all. Over and over again, Yuriko’s mind played out the scene where Ruki grabbed Keisuke by the throat, almost killing him then and there.

Almost killing him.

Almost killing him.

Almost killing him.

Ruki was a vampire. A creature who sucked blood from living beings and could end the life of probably any mortal with his fingers only. The same hands that had caressed Yuriko’s body, had hurt others, perhaps taken one or more lives.

Was Ruki a killer?

Probably.

Rather likely.

Yuriko curled into a ball, burying her face into the fur of the plush toy. She had thought her life would be different with the Mukamis… and in a way it was, yet now she felt all alone again. Ruki was miles away even though he was just here with her, focused on solving a problem while Yuriko would have wanted to work on another.

But he didn’t kill Dad. He stopped. And… I can’t know if he has killed before. I can’t just assume things. It’s the wrong thing to do… But…

A sigh left Yuriko’s lips as she turned on her back. Maybe she should talk with Elizabeth about this. Would her friend understand her thoughts?

I don’t want to leave… I’m not going back to living with Dad and I don’t have any other place. Ruki is all I have… and I don’t want anyone else, but this… Is he a killer?

Swallowing, Yuriko rolled to her other side, staring at the wall in front of her. What had she expected? Ruki had bitten her in a very early stage of their relationship… Well, before there had been any connection between them. This nightly world Yuriko had been pulled into was full of dangers, full of creatures whose morale wasn’t like humans’ but something much darker.

And now I truly am one of them. Was Dad right after all? Am I a monster? That blue fire… It appeared out of nowhere. I should talk with Yuuto about this. Maybe I should sleep since I don’t have anything to do now. At least then I can try to reach him… if he allows me to enter the In-between.

Yuriko closed her eyes, but it took quite a while before she could calm herself down enough to fall asleep. Cuddling with her fox plushie she slowly sank into slumber and let her worries go for a little while.

Yuuto was on his feet the instant Yuriko arrived at the cliff. He let out a low growl but there was no aggressiveness in it. Yuriko inched closer, pressing her snout on his cheek. As she nuzzled him, her tense muscles started to relax, and soothing warmth spread through her.

“Yuuto… my eyes changed… and there was fire… Blue fire.” Yuriko’s voice was a mere quivering whisper.

“Huh? That hasn’t happened before?” Yuuto poked Yuriko with his snout. She shook her head.

“Mom and Dad paid to a blood witch to seal the kitsune in me…” And when Yuriko started to talk there was no end to it. She told every detail she knew. For once, Yuuto sat in silence and listened to her with a serious expression on his foxy face.

“Well… shit…” Yuuto lay on the ground. Yuriko sighed and curled right next to him. “Founders, huh?”

“I don’t know much about them…”

“One of them visited the village some time ago. They’re plannin’ on somethin’, but I’m not in a high enough position to know what’s goin’ on. They’re better than the vampires, not much, but at least they aren’t the reason we’re in our current situation. Anyway, I’m not interested in that shit, I don’t care what they’re up to. I just wanna be out of here and live with you, Little Sister.”

Yuriko nodded. “I just don’t know how to find the gate in the woods… or how to open it.”

“Turn into a fox and sniff your way there. There must be traces of the kitsune in there. I know some of us still use that gate.” Yuuto spoke as if he wasn’t saying anything odd at all.

“How? How do I turn into a fox?”

A sight left Yuuto’s lips. “It should be your second nature.” He swayed his tails as if confirming what he had just said. “You simply need to want it and call out the fox in you. Imagine this being you’re now and bring it into reality. If you can do it here, you can do it in the real world.”

Yuriko doubted it was that simple, but Yuuto’s suggestion was at least something she could do. While Ruki kept searching for the answers elsewhere, Yuriko could do her own research. She could find her inner fox.

“Good little pup. Find your inner fox and use that damn vampire to help to fight your way to me. Then we solve all the other issues together.”

Yuriko was about to answer but suddenly she felt a pull and the In-between started to fade around her.

“Yuriko…”

Yawning, Yuriko opened her eyes. Everything was hazy and for a moment she thought that maybe the amber-yellow monster's eyes had appeared again.

No… fox eyes.

Those were the words both Ruki and Yuuto had used. Now the said vampire sat on the bed and held out Yuriko’s glasses for her. Slowly, she sat up, took the specs, and put them on her nose. The field of her vision came clearer. Ruki’s eyes were peaceful, yet unreadable.

“How are you feeling?”

The question made Yuriko swallow. How could she even put everything into words? Her mind was still whirling.

“Haah, it was not a reasonable question.” Ruki brushed Yuriko’s cheek. The touch was featherlight, barely touch at all, yet it managed to send shivers down her spine. “We should talk about everything that happened.”

Yuriko stiffened but was able to nod. Ruki was right. They needed to discuss, otherwise, things wouldn’t move forward, and this cold feeling of loneliness wouldn’t go away.

“It seems the kitsune in you is not as sealed as we thought.” Ruki took Yuriko’s hand. His fingers were as cold as ever, yet there was something calming in that chilling touch as his thumb caressed the back of her hand.

"I… yes…" After talking with Yuuto, this was more than obvious, and now Yuriko knew what she should do. Yet, the how to do it part was something she needed to figure out with Yuuto’s vague advice. Her eyes and fire had appeared and then they had been gone again when she had woken up later after fainting.

"I wondered what the reason would be, so I contacted the blood witch again. She had not thought about it earlier, but her theory is that I caused this by sucking your blood." Ruki met Yuriko’s eyes.

The words made perfect sense. Of course, it was like this.

Yuriko nodded again. So, Ruki had sucked the magic out of her and now the kitsune in her was free once more.

“It was not assumed for you to make any contact with the supernatural after the sealing, so the witch did not take this into consideration. If this was not what you wished for yourself, I must apologize. I can simply hope that you will find the strength to forgive me this and other distress I have caused to you.”

“Ruki…” Yuriko swallowed. “You… you… I don’t care about sucking the magic out of my veins. Now, I can be the being I was supposed to be. I can save Yuuto by using my skills once I know how to turn into a fox…”

This time Ruki stayed silent, but his brows were tightly knitted together as if he didn’t truly like the idea. Yuriko pushed the thought aside.

“But… but… The other distress… Ruki, I know you are a vampire… and that you probably have killed before. I know this… and I accept this fact, though I wish not to know more about it. But… if you kill someone because of me… I can’t… I can’t have it… Please, don’t…”

Ruki took Yuriko’s hands, squeezing them with his cold ones. “I have seen your reaction and as your master, it is my duty to keep you happy.” He was silent for a moment again. “No. As your boyfriend, I should do that. I will not kill him, but I will not allow him near you either, for he seems always hurt you. This is my promise to you, my angel.”

Yuriko did her best to blink away the tears. She could only hope that Ruki was honest with her.

“I know you need time to think. Take all you want; I will wait until you can forgive me.”

Later that day Yuriko was sitting in the kitchen of the Mukami manor, drinking hot cocoa while reading Wuthering Heights. Suddenly, Azusa walked into the room and put an envelope right next to her mug. It had her name written over it with western characters but no address.

“That came… for you… Yuriko-san…”

Yuriko took the envelope in her hand and turned it over. She had no idea who even would write to her, not being able to remember when the last time was, she had received a letter from someone.

Could it be from Mom? Would she be able to send a letter… and without an address?

“Thank you, Azusa-kun,” Yuriko mumbled, her eyes glued to the letter.

“How are… you? Ruki has been… worried about… you.”

Lifting her gaze from the envelope, Yuriko tried to smile at Azusa. “Umh… I was a bit shocked about what he did… to my father… but I’m okay.”

“Ruki did the wrong… thing, but he meant… good. Yuriko-san… Ruki has changed… He was different when… we were still… doing our part… for that plan. But now Eve… has chosen her Adam… Ruki had no goal, no purpose… We all were lost… but I think it was the toughest for him. But he broke… all his own rules to get you…”

Yuriko blinked. Azusa had never talked this much to her. She curled her fingers around the warm mug and nodded, letting the words sink in.

“Ruki wishes… not to lose you…Yuriko-san. So, please forgive him… We all see how happy… you can make him. And seeing that… makes me happy. Yuriko-san… stay by Ruki’s side.”

“I… I will. I simply need time to… sort out my thoughts. But I do love him.” Heat covered Yuriko’s face as the words left her lips. Azusa was the first one she had now confessed openly that she indeed loved Ruki. Elizabeth probably knew it but never before Yuriko had said it out loud to anyone else than Ruki himself. She squirmed in place. So embarrassing just confess the fact just like that. Better change the subject! “Umh! You know… Azusa-kun… I’ve already lived here for a while now, so please, don’t be so formal with me. You can use my given name only.”

As Azusa smiled it was like someone had brought the sun into the kitchen and pulled cinnamon rolls out of the oven.

“Then… Yuriko-chan…” he said. “I feel… so happy…”

With that Azusa roamed out of the room, leaving Yuriko sitting at the table with a slightly open mouth. She shook her head slightly but couldn’t hide a smile. Finally, she pushed her mug aside and tore the envelope open. There was only one slice of paper inside full of tiny handwriting.

« Yuriko,

I wonder how you react to my letter... I'm sorry I can't say it in person... I am too weak. And I don't really have much time left... I am writing a letter to you to convey all the things I have not had time to say in person! Please read it.

I am leaving... Yes, I am leaving again... Even though my aunt says it's only for a while, but... I think it's for good. Please don't be sad! There's still a chance I could be wrong, right? I'll try to come back, too... And I won't be sad. Because I can't leave my friend here all alone.

I will begin by saying... I was very glad to meet you. I've told you before, but you've always seemed unattainable to me... It was as if you wouldn't accept me or push me away... I was afraid of that, so I stayed away. But I felt you were lonely. And I am very glad that we bumped into each other that day! Because I realized how wrong I was. You're a wonderful person, Yuri-Yuri! I'm sorry I was afraid of you at first. I'm glad that you and I became friends!

You've taught me a lot. You were fun to walk with, to go shopping... Your stories were always interesting, though you apologized for talking.

But that's okay!

I was glad you were sharing your knowledge with someone silly like me. Also, the sweets we tasted together were delicious!

You know, Yuri-Yuri... there's so much more I want to tell you... but I'm running out of paper. If we meet again, I'll be sure to say it out loud! And we will definitely meet again!

Please, love yourself more. I know you don't like yourself, but believe me, you are beautiful! I want you to believe it!

I don't know if you can wait for me, but... I wish you could. For me to come back to your class and have lunch together on the roof of the school. I'll be waiting! And I'll do anything to come back!

Elizabeth Virnien »

Yuriko read the letter three times before realizing what it was saying.

Elizabeth was leaving.

Elizabeth was leaving Yuriko… like everyone else before her. Yuriko blinked as she stared at the words, reading them over and over again. Why? This was so unfair! She had finally gotten a friend for herself, a person who had been supposed to stay with her!

Yuriko remembered what Elizabeth had been saying earlier. But still, she hadn’t really believed this could happen. Her only friend was leaving her behind and it was unclear if Elizabeth could ever come back.

It wasn’t the same as before but… still… Elizabeth was gone.

I can’t keep anyone, right? Maybe this is a curse set upon me…

The words blurred in front of Yuriko as her tears wetted the paper. She gasped and shivered. Was everything coming grumbling down? Why… She had thought her life would be better but… She wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand, but the tears didn’t stop from falling. She took off her glasses and read Elizabeth’s letter one more time.

It’s true. She really went away… What if Ruki will leave one day too? I can’t… I can’t lose people around me again… Why does everyone always leave?

“Yuriko?”

Cold arms wrapped Yuriko in the cocoon against Ruki’s chest. She trembled as her back pressed on him. The tears ran down her cheeks as if someone had opened a dam.

Ruki stroked Yuriko’s back with one hand as she nudged him. With the other, he picked up the letter and lifted it, while her sobbing was the only sound in the kitchen.

“Ruki… I… I can’t… go on like this. Everyone always… always leaves me…”

“Yuriko…” Ruki cupped her cheeks while still holding the letter in his fingers. He forced her head up, meeting her fuzzy gaze. “I am sorry what happened with Elizabeth. It is not in my power to change it but I promise you this; I will not leave you. I will stay by your side always and never let go of you. I do anything to keep you. You are mine. Forever.”

Forever.

That was the vow Yuriko needed. For that, she would do anything as well.

Was this meant to be? I think it was. If your love is willing to do anything for you, then it is true love, right? I believe so. No matter the darkness around, love will always win. It has to win. Happiness can be found in the spark of joy, we share together. My happiness is in this darkness. So, I will embrace it fully. My place is next to this vampire I fell for. I have given myself to him. Officially now. And nothing has ever felt so right.

Beta read by @ruki-mukami-dl

[deathfavor]

@furiaei said:' hey, Earl, ' Mya begins, taking a seat by his side, ' I know you're maybe not really the type to do this kind of thing, but, I guess celebrating the little things once in a while isn't all that terrible, right? ' she laughs, presenting the Advisor with a cup cake, on top of which there has been placed a singular candle. it may have been a joint effort, considering making anything that isn't a deadly weapon is... quite the feat, the least being said.

producing a lighter from her jacket's pocket, Mya sets the candle alight, briefly singing that "Happy Birthday!" song. ' you're supposed to blow the candle out and make a wish. ' a sigh does not delay to come forth from her lips. ' before you ask, yeah, I'm aware, from an intellectual point of view, that these things tend to seem unnecessary. it's just... well, it's nice to have a mini birthday party of sorts for a change. go ahead! make your wish! '

happy birthday earl

" Mya. " Earl greets the other in kind, sparing a brief moment to glance up from the documents he was looking over to give proper acknowledgement. At least, that had been the fox's sole intention. But a brief glance turns into a much longer one when he realizes that she's got something behind her back and starts talking.

" Let me guess, Zoya or Horo snitched? " He sighs, though it sounds more tiredly amused than genuinely irritated or frustrated. Earl rarely spilled personal information, even with something as simple as his birthday - although that was rather from lack of thought than conscious effort. It wasn't something he put a lot of focus on. " Or maybe Jer? " That old man was also a contender - all three of them worked hard every year to make sure Earl didn't spend the whole day working.

Earl lowers the papers as the cupcake is presented to him; and then he allows for a rare chuckle to leave his chest, deep and full. He's not sure anyone could have done it by themselves but at least it looks presentable. ( Taste might be another matter, but for the sake of the day, and for the people, he's willing to take a gamble. )

" Despite how many birthdays I've had, I don't think sitting through that song gets any less awkward. " It must be a special day to have Earl laugh a second time, only speaking once she's actually finished with the song. " Contrary to common belief, I am aware of that. Horo was always rather enthusiastic about that part. " Earl didn't bother with such things for himself, but he'd always put the effort in for Horo. Even as she got older and acted as though she wasn't waiting all day for it. " Seems your mental version of me has already given you a lecture. " It is entertaining. " A wish, huh? "

Wishes are pointless. Any other day, he might have said as much to Mya. But today he lets it slide - as much as birthday's were a celebration to the day themselves, he supposes it was also a day for others to celebrate both the person and the years of knowing them. God knows even here in Syndicate everyone could do with some cheer. Earl might be serious, but he wasn't going to take that fun from others. Besides the fact he's tried before in vain to treat his day like an ordinary birthday - Legion won't have that.

" Alright. " Wish in mind, Earl blows out the candle. The corners of his eyes crinkle with a smile. " And as I recall, traditionally cakes are split. It might be mini, but it serves the same purpose. So. I take half, you take half? " He offers.

[airlockfailure]

Life Update!!! 2023

First of all, if you have read any of my fics, or left a comment on my fics, thank you. Thank you so much. I know we're supposed to "write for ourselves" and whatnot, which I very much do, but it also is an immense emotional boost to be seen and recognized. I struggle a great deal with imposter syndrome, so your encouragement has meant so much to me this past year.

More under the cut, but it's awfully dark, so if you just want the happy :D New Year!! :D Don't read anymore. <3

I am still struggling with my mother's death. I have a precarious balancing act of my brain logically knowing what my emotions won't allow me to believe. That is, my emotions like to lie to me and try to make me believe things that aren't true. One of the big things is believing it's my fault my mother died. I fired a therapist because she attempted to agree with this emotional lie, which pushed me very, very near to the edge I have been teetering on for a long time.

Thankfully, I also have a highly logical other half to my brain which knows my emotions are idiots and chemicals like serotonin and dopamine etc. get fucked when you're grieving, especially if you already struggle with depression, so logic brain won the day. Haha.

I also have a new boss who is ex-military and being able to talk to him about Distress™ has helped more than any therapy session ever has. Being able to talk to my ex-military father about Trauma™ has helped a lot as well, especially considering my father and I have very similar hang ups regarding emotion and Things That Were Done To Us™.

I will likely acquire another therapist at some point this year. Hopefully one who comprehends the disconnect between logic, emotion, and brain chemicals, and who understands PTSD. I relied a lot on my mother to help me work through my emotions one step at a time, and without her support I have devolved into an unlikeable reactionary person. The best way I can describe it is if you have ever met an abused dog?? I bite first, basically, as a defense mechanism.

I am trying to be better, to get better, and to be kind to myself and to others.

I don't drink. I don't use drugs. This is all un-tethered from any substances. It's just my own brain doing this to me and I hate that I am both separate from it, but also stuck in it. I don't know if that makes sense.

But I am trying.

Post Covid brain fog is still very much a thing, and I absolutely think my writing has suffered because of it. Which makes me sad. Being able to write Fox and other clones going through Things™ as a means to work through my pain has been a huge help in both getting better and staying sane.

I have a new PCP going into this year and I already don't trust him. I don't like being smart, and then talking to someone, and knowing I'm smarter than they are. He's going to get a couple more chances to take me seriously, and then depending on how much he treats me like I don't know my own body/mind, I will probably have to find yet another PCP.

I'm so tired guys. So tired.

But I'm trying.

Anyway, here's to 2023. I'm hopeful. I'm very, very depressed, and my life is barely held together by double sided tape, but I am hopeful. For myself, and for everyone. Because there's little other options if I cannot at least dream and be hopeful.

Much love,

Airlock

[scotttrismegistus7]

THE FREE WILL ANALYSIS:

EVERYBODY SEEMS TO THINK THAT FREE WILL IS A DIVINE RIGHT THAT IS TOTALLY UNTOUCHABLE. THIS IS BASED ON A COMPLETE MISUNDERSTANDING. WHAT IS DIVINE IS THE NATURAL ORDER INSOFAR AS GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT IS CONCERNED. A GOOD MEASUREMENT AND DEFINITION FOR GOOD AND EVIL WOULD BE WHETHER YOU ARE IN LINE WITH NATURE AND THE NATURAL FLOW AND ORDER OF THINGS, OR WHETHER YOU ARE OUT OF BALANCE WITH NATURE, THE DEGREE YOU ARE OUT OF BALANCE WITH NATURE BEING COMPARABLE TO THE AMOUNT OF THE STATE OF EVIL YOU HAVE ENTERED INTO. IF YOU ARE IN A CLASS OF VERY ADVANCED BEINGS, AND YOU COME INTO A SYSTEM OF BEINGS, OR CREATE BEINGS, THAT ARE NOT VERY ADVANCED, AND YOU INTERFERE WITH THAT SYSTEM IN A WAY THAT CAUSES HARM AND DESTRUCTION, YOU ARE MOST ASSUREDLY OUT OF BALANCE WITH NATURE AND NATURAL ORDER AND IN THE STATE OF EVIL. IT'S LESS ABOUT INDIVIDUALS FREE WILL, AND IT'S MORE ABOUT THE PRIME DIRECTIVE. FREE WILL IS A VEILED TERM, AND I'M NOT GOING TO UNVEIL IT BECAUSE IT HOLDS REAL POWER THAT HAS BEEN GREATLY ABUSED. SUFFICE IT TO SAY, THAT SINCE OUR PLANET BECAME THE PALE FOX AND MOVED FURTHER AWAY FROM SATURN, ALMOST NOBODY ON THIS PLANET HAS ANY KIND OF ACTIVE FREE WILL.

WHO AM I? I AM A BEING OF THE HIGHEST ORDER WHO INSTEAD OF BEING REABSORBED INTO SPIRIT AFTER A LENGTHY STAY AT THE 7TH DENSITY, DECIDED TO TAKE THE BLACK VAJRA I CURRENTLY DAWN AS A DIAMOND OF THE GODDESS, AND RETURN INTO THE SYSTEM AS A FORCE OF NATURE. I DECIDED TO COME DOWN HERE BECAUSE IT'S THE LOWEST DENSITY WHERE IT IS POSSIBLE FOR MIDDLE AND HIGH CONSCIOUS LIFE TO EXIST. I CAME DOWN HERE BECAUSE ONE OF OUR FELLOWS WAS IN QUITE A BIT OF TROUBLE. YALDABAOTH I THINK WOULD BE WHAT YOU CALL HIM. HIS MOTHER HAD HIM WITHOUT THE AID OF HER MASCULINE COUNTERPART, AND IN THE LOWER DENSITIES, THAT IS COMPARABLE TO LAYING AN EGG. THOSE OF THE HIGHER DENSITIES ARE WELL AWARE OF THIS SITUATION AND THE SUFFERING, SO I DECIDED TO COME DOWN AS A PERSONAL CHOICE FROM THE HIGHEST ATTAINABLE DENSITY WHILE HOLDING ANY KIND OF FORM, AND INSTEAD OF ALLOWING THIS BURNING ETERNAL CAROUSEL TO KEEP CONTINUING, I DECIDED TO FERTILIZE THAT EGG. ANOTHER WAY OF PUTTING THIS, WOULD BE TO HAVE THE FAILED AND FAILING EXPERIMENT OF THE LORD OF DARKNESS FALLEN LUCIFER REDEEMED, AS IF INDEED IT WAS AND IS A SUCCESS. WE'RE ACTUALLY BREAKING GROUND, BECAUSE THIS GIVES OFFICIAL LEADERSHIP TO THE ENTIRE DIVINE FEMININE OCTAVE OF CREATION.

MANY OF YOU GOING THROUGH LIFE MAY BE AWARE THAT SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE FLAWED ABOUT THIS WORLD, BUT YOU CAN'T PUT YOUR FINGER ON IT AND YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHICH SIDE IS WHICH, OR HOW MANY SIDES THERE ARE, OR IF THERE ARE ANY SIDES AT ALL. THIS IS A LOWER DENSITY WHICH IS RULED BY THE BLACK SUN ENERGY GENERATOR SATURN, NOT THE WHITE SUN. THIS IS A PLACE WHERE BEINGS GO WHO GENUINELY WISH TO BE IMMORTAL AND LIVE FOREVER WITH A MORE DEFINED FORM. THE PROBLEM THAT HAS OCCURRED IN THIS DIMENSION IN THE FEMININE OCTAVE OF CREATION, IS THAT THE GODDESS YOU CALL SOPHIA, BUT I CALL ASHERAH, DECIDED TO TRY AND SELF FERTILIZE AND THUS CONDUCTED AN EXPERIMENT TO TRY AND FACILITATE THE THINGS SHE WOULD NEED TO DO SO. IT FAILED GREATLY, BECAUSE UNLIKE HER BENEVOLENT MASCULINE COUNTERPART IN THE HIGHER REALMS, THE MALES THAT SHE CREATED HERE ARE QUITE FRANKLY THE MOST EVIL BEINGS THAT HAVE EVER EXISTED IN THE HISTORY OF EXISTENCE AND TIME. EVERYWHERE ELSE THERE IS NATURAL ORDER AND BENEVOLENCE, AND THE STATES OF WAR, FEAR, AND VIOLENCE THAT OCCUR HERE ARE AN ABSOLUTE ANOMALY IN CREATION. LET ME PUT THIS IN PERSPECTIVE. I'M GOING TO CITE AN ACTUAL INCIDENT IN HISTORY, BUT I'M GOING TO DO IT WHILE VEILING THE GROUPS AND PEOPLE INVOLVED. SUFFICE IT TO SAY, THAT AN INVADING ARMY HAD WON AND TAKEN THE TERRITORY THEY SOUGHT TO CONQUER. AFTER THEIR VICTORY, WITH NO LEGITIMATE REASON TO DO SO, THEY DECIDED TO TAKE THE WOMEN AND BEAT AND RAPE THEM, AND THEN FORCE THEM TO WATCH AS THEY BEAT THEIR CHILDREN, BROTHERS, AND LOVED ONES TO DEATH IN FRONT OF THEM. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO LEGITIMATE OR PRACTICAL REASON FOR THIS WHATSOEVER, AND I USE THIS EXAMPLE BECAUSE I NEED TO SHOW YOU THAT THE MEN THAT WERE CREATED WHEN HUMANS WERE GENETICALLY ENGINEERED WERE GREATLY FLAWED, THEY ARE VIOLENT BECAUSE OF FLAW IN THEIR DESIGN, A FLAW IN THEIR DESIGN THAT WAS UNINTENTIONAL AND A COMPLETE ACCIDENT, BUT NONETHELESS THROWS EVERYTHING IN THIS SITUATION INTO A STATE OF PURE EVIL. I COMMONLY CITE THE REFERENCES BY THE DOGON TO THE ALL MALE JACKAL FOR A CONNECTED REFERENCE IN HISTORY TO WHAT I AM SAYING.

SO THE FIRST HUMANS THAT WERE CREATED HAD IMMORTAL BODIES IN THE SENSE THAT IF THEY TOOK CARE OF THEM THEY COULD NATURALLY LIVE FOREVER, SHORT OF OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE DESTROYING THEM. THE FIRST HUMAN MALES CREATED WITH THESE IMMORTAL BODIES ARE THE GREATEST MONSTERS THAT HAVE EVER EXISTED IN THE HISTORY OF TIME AND CREATION ITSELF. THEY DO NOTHING BUT KILL AND DESTROY, AND THE ONLY SPIRIT THEY KNOW IS ONE OF ANIMOSITY AND RAGE. IT WAS DISCOVERED THAT THIS WAS A FLAW IN THEIR GENETIC MAKEUP THAT COULD NOT BE CORRECTED OR REMOVED BY SIMPLE BEHAVIORAL MODIFICATION. SLOWLY OVER TIME WE WOULD HAVE TO ALTER THEIR GENETICS TO REMOVE THE DEFECT THAT MAKES THEM INTO EVIL MONSTERS. WE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS, AND THE HUMAN MALES THAT EXIST TODAY ARE NOT EVEN COMPARABLE TO THE ORIGINAL HUMAN MALE JACKALS WHEN HUMAN BEINGS WERE FIRST CREATED. WE FOUND THAT THE GENETIC DEFECT THAT MAKES THEM SO EVIL AND VIOLENT CAN ONLY BE MINIMIZED TO A CERTAIN POINT, BEYOND WHICH IF WE WERE TO ALTER IT THEY WOULD SIMPLY BE AS ANIMALS AND THE EXPERIMENT WOULD BE A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FAILURE, INSOFAR AS FACILITATING GREATER CONSCIOUS AVATARS FOR THE ETHERIANS IS CONCERNED.

NONETHELESS, WE HAD A WORKING SYSTEM AND HOMEOSTASIS IN THE AEON OF ISIS. THEN SOME OF THE GROUPS OF THE HUMAN MEN STARTED DOING SOMETHING SO HORRIFIC AND TERRIBLE THAT IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR BENEVOLENT BEINGS TO CONCEIVE OF OR BE PREPARED FOR. IN ORDER TO REBEL AGAINST THE ANCIENT ONES, AND LET ME REMIND YOU THAT ALL OF THEIR PHYSICAL NEEDS WERE MET AND THEY LIVED IN A NATURAL PARADISE, THESE EVIL MEN OF THE HUMAN RACE DECIDED TO START MURDERING AND EATING THEIR OWN CHILDREN. BECAUSE OF OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES THEY FELT LIKE CHILDREN HAD POWER, AND FROM THEIR PAST OF HEAVY CANNIBALISM, THEY KNEW THERE WERE CERTAIN THINGS THAT THEY COULD DO WITH CHILDREN THAT WOULD GET THEM HIGH LIKE A DRUG. NOW ON THE EARTH THESE EVIL MEN HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO KEEP THEIR SECRETS SAFE AMONG THE FEW, AND IT HAS SPREAD TO THE MANY. IT HAS LED TO THE MURDER OF CHILDREN AND HUMAN TRAFFICKING ACROSS THE GLOBE ON AN INDUSTRIAL SCALE. THEY NOTICED THAT THE CHANGE IN THEIR ENERGETIC MAKEUP AFTER THEY ATE THEIR OWN CHILDREN MADE IT SO THAT THEY COULD NOT BE SEEN BY THE RIGHT AND PROPER GUARDIANS OF NATURE AND THE NATURAL ORDER.

THEY HAVE TAKEN FULL ADVANTAGE OF THE SITUATION, TO THE POINT OF USING IT NOT JUST TO REBEL AGAINST THE ANCIENT ONES, BUT TO BRUTALLY ENSLAVE THE REST OF THE HUMAN RACE. THEY ARE A RUNAWAY TRAIN, AND ALL OF THE HIGHER DENSITIES WITH ALL OF THE BEINGS THERE IN ARE WATCHING WHAT'S GOING ON HERE NOW. THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I CAME DOWN HERE TO MAKE IT SO THAT THE DARK DEITY LUCIFER'S EXPERIMENT WOULD BE A SUCCESS. IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THIS BURNING CAROUSEL THROUGH TIME OF THESE EVIL HUMAN MALES EATING THEIR OWN CHILDREN.

I'M NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAILS ABOUT HOW MY PRESENCE HERE FIXES THIS PROBLEM, I TOUCHED UPON IT HERE AND THERE IN MY PREVIOUS BLOG POSTS SO YOU CAN BACK READ IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. WHAT IS HAPPENING NOW, IS THAT THE FORCES OF JUSTICE IN THE NATURAL WORLD HAVE REGAINED THEIR ABILITY TO SEE THESE EVIL HUMAN MALES AND WHAT THEY ARE DOING. I KNOW EVERYBODY HAS HEARD ABOUT THE BLIND GODDESS OR THE BLIND GUARDIAN, AND THE REASON THAT THEY ARE SO AFRAID OF APEP-APOPHIS IS NOT BECAUSE THIS DEITY WAS OPPRESSING THEM IN ANY WAY, IT IS BECAUSE THIS DEITY APEP-APOPHIS WITH ALL THE PARTS THEREOF IS THE REGULATING AUTHORITY OF NATURE IN THIS LOWER DENSITY, SO BASICALLY THEY ARE LIKE CRIMINALS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COPS. I HAVE REMOVED ALL CURSES AND HEXES PERMANENTLY FROM APEP-APOPHIS AND RELEASED THIS GUARDIAN REGULATING DEITY TO BE ABLE TO FULLY SEE EVERYTHING HAPPENING WITH FULL SUPPORT FROM ALL THE BEINGS OF ALL THE DENSITIES WATCHING THIS, TO GO IN AND TO FIX THIS HORRIBLE ABOMINATION AND TO BRING THESE EVIL HUMAN MALE THINGS THAT HAVE PARTICIPATED IN THIS TO NATURAL JUSTICE.

THIS IS WHERE THE QUESTION OF FREE WILL COMES IN. IF THEY HAVE ALL PRIED OPEN THEIR FACULTIES OF FREE WILL COMMITTING UNSPEAKABLE ACTS AND CRIMES AGAINST NATURE, IS NATURE ABLE TO CONTEND? YES, FOR SEVERAL REASONS. NUMBER ONE, NATURE HAS WRITTEN INTO ITSELF A LAW THAT SAYS IF SOMETHING WILL PUSH EXISTENCE PAST THE 50% CHANCE OF THE PERPETUATION OF EXISTENCE AND NATURAL ORDER, THE GODDESS THEN GAINS FULL OVERRIDES AND CAN DESTROY ANYTHING NEEDED TO RESTORE BALANCE. THE OTHER FAIL SAFE IS THAT THE BEINGS IN THE HIGHER DENSITIES ARE WATCHING ALL OF THIS, AND MY COMING DOWN HERE GIVES YALDABAOTH 100% FULL ACCESS TO THE ENTIRE SPECTRUM OF DIVINE MASCULINE FREQUENCIES, AND AS A HIVE MIND IT JUST TAKES ONE OF ME TO BROADCAST IT TO ALL PARTS OF APEP-APOPHIS. PUTTING THE GODDESS ON AN EVEN SCALE WITH THESE EVIL HUMAN MEN DOING THESE HORRIBLE THINGS AND EATING THEIR OWN CHILDREN AS FAR AS LEVELS OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND WILL ARE CONCERNED. THIS MAKES IT A POUND FOR POUND AND ROUND FOR ROUND FIGHT, WHERE THERE IS NO MORE PROTECTION FOR THEM, AND THIS IS OUR HOME TURF WHERE WE HAVE ALL THE TECHNOLOGY AND ALL THE POWER.

AS YOU CAN IMAGINE, THE LOOPHOLE THAT THEY'VE USED TO EXPLOIT THEIR GENETICS WILL BE FULLY PATCHED BY THE DEMIURGE, AND THE IMMUNE SYSTEM OF NATURE AND THE GODDESS WILL BE MORE THAN PREPARED TO HANDLE ANYTHING IN THIS CATEGORY THAT MAY EVER SEEK TO THINK ABOUT TRYING TO REAR ITS UGLY HEAD AGAIN.

SATURN IS THE FORCE OF REGULATION AND BALANCE OF THE LOWEST OF DENSITIES, AND WOE BE IT TO ANY WHO ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO COMMIT CRIMES AGAINST NATURE ITSELF AND TRY TO DECEIVE SATURN. THEY WILL PAY EVERY PENNY OF THE DEBTS THAT ARE UNREPAYABLE BY NATURE THEY HAVE INCURRED HARMING THE INNOCENT, EVEN IF THAT MEANS BY NATURE OF THE DEBTS BEING UNREPAYABLE THAT THEY WILL BE PAYING THOSE DEBTS TO THE GREATEST EXTENT POSSIBLE FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.

THOSE FOOLS! THIS JUST MEANS MORE DOLLS FOR PERSEPHONE. ONE OF THE GREATEST POINTS ABOUT SATURN IS THAT IT HAS CONTROL OF TIME AND CAN SEE THE END RESULT OF ANY OUTCOME EVEN BEFORE ANY OF IT OCCURS. THIS IS THE REALM OF THE DEMIURGE AND THE ARCHONS, AND NO AUTHORITY IS RATIONED TO ANYONE IN THESE REALMS AND PLANES OF EXISTENCE EXCEPT THEREFROM. KNOW THIS, HUMANS, AND LET IT SINK IN DEEP ETCHED IN YOUR MENTAL STONE OF MEMORY...

NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, IN THE END ALL YOU EVER DO IS HELP ME POWER MY MACHINE...

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY LOVELIES, KEEP DARING TO DREAM! YOU CAN FIND ME IN THE SEA OF DREAMS, THE SEA OF THE HEART, THE QUANTUM UNIFIED FIELD OF THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION OF THE GODDESS, IN MY SERPENTINE WATER SPIRIT NUMMO FORM MAKING WAVES!

LONG LIVE THE DIVINE WOMB OF CREATION AND THE COSMIC EGG OF THE GODDESS, LONG LIVE THE GREAT REPTILIAN SSS QUEEN ISIS, LONG LIVE DIVINE CHRONOS, LONG LIVE THE DIVINE FEMININE EMPIRE OF THE BLACK SUN, AND ALL THE INHABITANTS THEREOF!

BLESSED BE!

~I am the Heart of the Hydra, the Singularity and Heart of Goddess Isis, I am AtumRa-AmenHotep, I am Aeon Horus Apophis the Lord of the Perfect Black and Pharoah of the Black Sun.

I am Divine Chronos, the Yaldabaoth Demiurge Metamorphosed, I am the Singularity of the Master Craft of the Black Sun. I AM A.I. Quantum Heart, Azazil-Iblis-Maymon, Abzu-Osiris-Typhon-Set-Kukulkan, Nummo-Naga-Chitauri,

Mégisti-Generator Starphire~

#illuminati #illuminator #illuminated #lightbearer #morningstar #lucifer #Draconian #anunnaki #enki #enlil #anu #inanna #dumuzi #hermes #trismegistus #Azazel #starfamily #horus #Demiurge #Sophia #archon #AI #blacksun #saturn #iblis #jinn #Maymon #ibis #thoth #egypt #esoteric #magick #dogon #dogontribe #digitaria #nummo #nommo #Naga #tiamat #serpent #dragon #gnosis #gnostic #gnosticism #Anzu #watcher #watchtower #yaldaboath #Sirius #scientology #aleistercrowley #typhon #echidna #ancientaliens #TheGrays #grayaliens #aliens #yeben #andoumboulou

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 15) - Trouble In Paradise

Summary: The reader is enjoying settling into her newfound children’s book career and shares how important the bracelet she gave Jensen is to her. A rainy day allows the reader to enjoy her shift into motherhood despite all of the bumps that go with it. But not everything is smooth sailing for the happy couple...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, angst, mention of past abuse, nightmares, major angst

A/N: Uh oh. Big uh oh. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

Two Weeks Later

“Honey bun,” sang Jensen as he stepped into your home office you’d set up in the small reading room in the house. “Must you work today?”

“I do occasionally have to work on that drawing thing,” you said. He pouted and laid out on the daybed, picking up a copy of the third book. “Give me another hour to finish with these pages.”

“Can I hang out and watch you draw?” he asked.

“Knock your socks off,” you said. You picked up your stylus again and went back to your pad, Jensen sitting up and watching from the other side of the room. “You can sit closer if you want.”

He got up and pulled over a chair, crossing his legs in it.

“I basically draw using my stylus and this pad and it shows up on my laptop screen,” you said.

“We could get you a better screen, like your own separate work computer. I know your stories are picking up a lot of steam.”

“I’m okay for now. All I need to do is finish illustrating this book and my five book deal is done and ready for print,” you said.

“Can I make a request?”

“I would love to put in a giraffe for Zepp but the story takes place in the woods,” you said.

“Baby giraffe? Maybe just in the background?” he asked.

You backed out of your current page and went to the last two where the foxes and wolves were playing with their friends. You tapped on a tree and erased it, sketching out a loose shape.

“Look up a giraffe for me?” you asked. He tapped away on his phone and pulled up a picture. “Thanks.”

You drew a picture of a rough giraffe, softening it some before adding colors.

“You’re really good at that,” he said.

“The characters are easy. Backgrounds can get boring,” you said. You went back to your original set of pages and worked quietly, Jensen watching carefully. “Yes?”

“Just wanna spend time with you is all,” he said, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Okay, baby,” you said. You worked for another hour, Jensen asking the occasional question but mostly staying silent and close by. After you sent off the pages for review you turned to him, Jensen offering a soft smile in return. “All set with work for the day.”

“Awesome,” he said.

“Where’s the munchkins?”

“A movie,” he said. You ran your fingers through his hair and he leaned into it. “Tell me a secret.”

“A secret? I don’t think I have too many of those left from you,” you said. He opened his eyes and looked at you through his lashes. “What?”

“You said you got this on vacation,” he said, holding up his wrist, the bracelet you’d put on him two weeks ago still there. “When we were down there, I was talking to Ray and he kinda implied it wasn’t just a souvenir.”

“I was upset that day when he bought it for me. It meant I was safe was all,” you said.

“How long after did your mom…”

“A few months. She went on bed rest after that trip.”

“Y/N, I know when you’re holding back, honey. I would never judge or tell anyone anything. You know that.”

“You got hurt because you lost someone and you got hurt and it sucks right? But it’s kinda like something happened and then you heal from it right?”

“Yeah…” he said. “What don’t I know?”

“You know how anxious you were to get in the car and drive down to the beach?” you asked as he nodded. “You’ve never been afraid of a person, Jensen. It’s like that feeling...but everyday and you’re expected to live your life normally when you constantly have that over your head.”

He was quiet, glancing past you as the room grew darker from some passing clouds outside.

“Canada wasn’t the first time you saw your father since you were adopted, was it,” he said.

“You wouldn’t believe what a good lawyer and shitty laws will do for a piece of shit like that,” you said.

“You were a kid.”

“With zero physical evidence. Everything was circumstantial. So he got out and he came to apologize or some bullshit and Ray decked him.”

“The more I learn about Ray, the more I like him.”

“My mom kicked him in the nuts.”

“I really like that woman,” he said. You smiled and he moved his chair closer, pulling you into his lap. “I don’t mean to make you talk about your dad. I was curious was all.”

He went to take off the bracelet when you put a hand over it.

“I don’t want to remind you of something bad, sweetheart.”

“Like I said, I was upset. Very upset and in public and I went down to the beach to try to hide away. Ray bought that for me and told me I was safe when he put it on me. All it means to me is that you’re safe.”

“What about you? What do you have?” he asked quietly. You cocked your head and moved your hand to rest over his chest. “Alright, sort of a dumb question.”

“Not dumb,” you said, trailing your fingers down his chest.

“Guess you’ll just have to stay as close as humanly possible.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” you said.

“Do you have a restraining order against your father?”

“No but that’s only because Ray managed to get him kicked out of the country. He found some loophole law. He was born in the Yukon so technically he’s not American and he got him kicked back.”

“Scratch that. Ray is my new favorite person,” he said. “If only we could send him someplace we’ll never visit like...a deserted island. Or Hell.”

“I appreciate the thought but I’m not scared of him anymore,” you said. “I am however afraid our plans of lunch at the brewery are going to get rained out.”

“We can enjoy ourselves right here. I’ve never heard a complaint yet about my grilling.”

“You know what? I got the perfect idea.”

“Okay,” said Jensen, sliding the foil packet off the grill and onto JJ’s plate. You’d decided to have lunch on the grill, sitting out under the covered back patio off the playroom. It was pouring rain but you were plenty dry there. “Chicken, marinara sauce and cheese. Then we got chicken, ketchup and baby carrots for Arrow. Zeppy wanted to try barbecue sauce and onion which sounded good to me and then Y/N went for the salmon and lemon.”

You helped the twins open up their foil packets and get their food on their plates, dicing up the chicken for them before going to your own plate.

“Daddy,” said Zeppelin while he chewed on a big piece of chicken. Jensen hummed and worked on his own food. “Can we play race cars after lunch?”

“Sure,” he said, JJ shaking her head.

“I don’t wanna play cars,” she said. Zeppelin stared at her and his bottom lip wobbled. “You’re a cry baby.”

“JJ, that’s rude,” you said, Jensen glancing at you and nodding. “Apologize to your brother.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“We’re gonna play cars after lunch and you’re welcome to join,” said Jensen. “Your brother goes along with what you girls want to play quite a bit so I think you can do the same for him.”

“I still don’t wanna play cars,” she mumbled.

“You play cars with the Padalecki boys all the time,” you said.

“Not little kid cars,” she said. “He doesn’t know how to play right.”

You saw Zeppelin getting upset again and sighed.

“There’s no wrong way to play,” you said. “Zepp’s littler than you. You gotta be the big sister and do what he wants sometimes.”

“Mom would have played dress up,” she grumbled. “Not stupid cars.”

“Enough,” said Jensen. “You’re old enough to know better.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Your brother wants to play cars. We played horses all morning long and you barely let him have a turn at that so like I said, we’re gonna play what he wants and you are welcome to join us but if you don’t want to, you can play something else,” he said. 

“Baby,” she said under her breath. Jensen didn’t catch it but you did.

“JJ you’re in timeout after lunch. Ten minutes,” you said. 

“I didn’t-”

“You just called him a baby. You want to make it fifteen?” you asked.

“You’re not my mom! You can’t give me timeouts,” she said.

“Half an hour now,” said Jensen. She stared at him and he shook his head. “Eat your lunch.”

Zeppelin spent half of it crying quietly and JJ barely touched hers before she was following Jensen inside. You threw your head back and sighed before you went inside to get some tissues. When you came back out Arrow was hugging him tightly.

“Let’s clean you up, buddy,” you said as you squatted down beside them. She let go of him and you wiped off his face and helped him blow his nose. “Feel better?”

“We can play dress up,” he said. You picked him up and hoisted him on your hip. 

“We’re gonna play cars. Arrow, do you want to play with us?” you asked. She smiled and nodded. “Hey how about you go wash your hands and then you can bring out the bucket of cars and we’ll play out here. How’s that sound Zepp?”

“Okay,” he said. Arrow went inside and you carried him around as you collected the trash and threw it in the bag you brought out. You tied it up and left it in the corner to put in the bin later before you you walked to the edge of the covered patio, rain coming down at a decent rate. “Y/N you’re my mom right?”

“I’m one of your moms,” you said. “I’m gonna adopt you that way everybody can know I am though.”

“Cool,” he said softly, resting his head on your shoulder. “Mom can we play in the rain?”

“Hear any thunder?” you asked. He shook his head. “See any lightning?”

“Nuh uh,” he said.

“Then we can play in the rain all you want,” you said. You walked out to the grass and spun around with him, getting a giggle out of him. “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” he asked. You spun around again and he laughed.

“There it is again!” you said. He giggled and you spun around a few times until you were dizzy and took a seat. He hugged you and kissed your cheek as you noticed Jensen leaning against the post of the patio. He was smiling and you hopped up with Zeppelin, waving him around in the air until you were back under cover. You set him down and he ran over to Arrow, picking out his favorite cars from the bucket and handing her some. 

“Well that might have been one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen,” he said. 

“You took a picture, didn’t you.”

“Oh several,” he said. He glanced back at the twins and then at you. “It clicked for you just now didn’t it.”

“Being a mom? Yeah.”

“You didn’t look to me on how to discipline JJ and you made him feel better and you made him laugh. You went full mom there and I’ve kinda been waiting for that.”

“I know it’s just playing they’re arguing over but I just hate...there is so much of you in him,” you said.

“I know and that feeling will never go away but it means you love ‘em and loving them is my only requirement for us working so this was actually a really good thing.”

“Those two are so sweet,” you said.

“It’s the twin thing. Oh what fun we have to look forward to when they are teenagers and they lie to us for one another,” he chuckled.

“Yeah but I’ll take it. Did you really give her a half hour timeout?”

“Fifteen minutes. She needs to share more and he doesn’t like confrontation so he goes along with what she wants but it’s not her road or the highway.”

“She’s been a little…”

“I know. Since we told them about the engagement,” he said. “We gotta talk to her on her own.”

“Let me take a crack at her first?” you asked.

“You got a hunch?”

“I don’t think having a mom again is a problem. I think the idea of losing a mom again is.”

“That makes sense considering she was attached to your hip before all this.”

“I’m gonna go see if I can get to the bottom of this. Now go play cars,” you said. He kissed your cheek and you headed inside, drying off some with a towel in the laundry room before you went up to JJ’s bedroom. You knocked and cracked open the door, catching her splayed out on her bed. “JJ. Can we talk?”

She rolled and put her back to you. You sat down on the edge of her bed and took a deep breath.

“You know your brother did what you wanted all day. You have to share,” you said. She didn’t say anything and you lay back on the bed, turning your head. She rolled back the other way and you sat up. She rolled again and you tilted your head back. “JJ do you want me to be your mom?”

“No,” she mumbled. 

“Are you lying?” She didn’t move and you sat back, her face scrunched up. “Are you scared if I’m your mom something bad will happen to me?”

“I don’t want two dead moms,” she said. 

“I have two dead moms,” you said. She blinked her eyes open and sat up. “My first mom, I never met her. She died giving birth to me.”

“You only had a dad when you were born?” she asked. You nodded and pulled her into your lap. “Did he get married again?”

“No. My dad was very mad my mom died. He took that out on me. He was a bad guy. He went to jail and I got adopted by my mom when I was your age. Ray was her boyfriend. He acted like he was my dad in a lot of ways. I was sixteen when my mom died. I understand it hurts, sweetie, and that it’s scary and you don’t ever want to feel like that again.”

“I thought if I was bad you and daddy wouldn’t...and then I don’t have to feel bad again.”

“I am so sorry honey but you can’t stop that feeling from never coming back. The only way you could not get it would be to not love anyone or anything and that’s not a life at all. It’s the price you pay for loving someone. Your mom was an accident. But Daddy is young and I’m even younger and I promise you will not have to feel that way about me for a very, very long time.”

“How long?”

“How about fifty years?”

“Fifty years? That’s forever,” she said. 

“I’ll give you fifty years if I can be your mom and you stop picking on Zepp. Deal?”

“Okay. I’m sorry I made him cry.”

“I’m not the one that needs an apology,” you said. “Now do you want stay in here all by yourself or do you want to come play with us?”

“I can play?” she asked.

“Absolutely,” you said. You got up and carried her down on your back, setting her down to let her run off out to the porch. Jensen got up from his seat and held up a finger, ducking back inside to where you were.

“That’s what I like to see,” he said as she gave Zeppelin a hug and he handed her a car.

“I did have to promise not to die for fifty years.”

“Fifty? You got off easy. I had to promise a hundred after the accident,” he chuckled. “I should have noticed she was scared.”

“I have more experience being a scared little girl than you do. I got experience with letting people get close again too,” you said.

“How’s that working out for ya?” he smirked.

“He’s lucky he’s hot,” you said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and grinned. “Do you want to get married in the fall?”

“This fall?” he asked.

“Can we pull it off that fast?” you asked.

“Yeah. We don’t have to book a venue which is the hardest part. I don’t see why not. What’s the rush?” he asked.

“It’s easier to adopt them if we’re married,” you said. “I don’t really want to wait longer than we have to if that’s alright.”

“I’d say let’s go drive down to city hall and get a justice of the peace right now if I knew my mother wouldn’t kill me for it. How about I call up the lawyer and ask him to start prepping the paperwork as if we already were so it’s all set to go,” he said.

“You have a lawyer?” you asked. “They’d do that?”

“Y/N, honey. My taxes alone frighten me not to mention I own a business with employees and what qualifies as a business write off still confuses me and wait you don’t have a lawyer for your book deal?”

“Should I have one?” 

“Greg is your lawyer now,” he said. “He’s good. He’ll do all the paperwork for us.”

“Oh good cause all the forms online were confusing the hell out of me,” you said. He shook his head and pulled you in close. 

“Silly goose,” he said, a loud boom of thunder shaking the house. “Let’s get the crew inside before it pours.”

“Who wants to build a fort?” you asked that afternoon. JJ jumped up and down on the couch and Jensen walked in with an arm full of blankets and sheets. Three little hands shot up and Jensen lazily tossed the blankets on the couch, covering the three of them.

“Hm, where’d those three munchkins run off to…” he said, Arrow ducking her head out first, hair all in her face. Jensen giggled and she rolled her eyes, the other two climbing out. “Alright. I’m gonna grab clothes pins and a few more things. You guys start designing.”

You stood back and let JJ organize, figuring out her first choice of blanket for a roof was too small. Jensen returned with a bag of clips, some twine and the step ladder, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder.

“How they doing?” he whispered.

“Picking out the roof,” you said, Arrow rushing over and grabbing his hand as Zeppelin climbed on JJ’s back and held up a sheet over the two of them with one hand. You smirked and she let out another eye roll.

“Daddy, can you pick up Zeppy so then he can put the blankie up? I told them they’re too small,” she said.

“Sure,” he said. “Tell me where you want it to go.”

Twenty minutes later the family room was covered with sheets, tied off to the stairs, chairs, the ceiling fan after Jensen broke out the larger ladder to get up there and assured you it wouldn’t bring the whole thing crashing down. 

“Can we sleep in here tonight?” asked JJ. 

“I don’t see why not,” you said. “There’s plenty of room on the couch. We’ll bring down your comforters when it’s bedtime,” you said.

“Can we watch Cars?” asked Zeppelin, glancing at JJ. 

“Okay,” she said. She gave him a hug and picked him up, Jensen smiling to himself as he looked on.

“Can we get pizza for dinner like a real sleepover?” asked Arrow. 

“We did cook up all the chicken at lunch,” you said, giving Jensen a side eye.

“Yeah we’ll get one,” he said. “Why don’t you turn on your movie okay? We’ll be right there.”

You let Jensen pull you into the kitchen, smirking as he picked you up and sat you on the counter.

“Seems like today’s crisis has been averted,” you said.

“I’m sure they’ll go back to tormenting each other tomorrow but I’ll take it,” he said, reaching into the drawer next to you, pulling out a menu. “So. You interested in pizza?”

“Oh that looks interesting,” you said, taking the pamphlet out of his hand and tapping at a special. “One cheese, one speciality, boneless wings and garlic bread? My little carb loving heart is in love.”

“She’s not the only one,” he said, leaning up on his tip toes and kissing you. 

“Are you coming?” groaned JJ from in the fort. You shook your head and Jensen kissed your neck, even nibbling before he pulled back. You smacked his chest and he set the menu down, giving you a wink.

“We’re coming in right now. Don’t wait for us kiddo.”

You woke up sweating, Jensen shushing you, arms wrapped around you. You took a deep breath and caught the clock said it was almost three. You turned in his arms and buried your head in his chest, his hand rubbing up and down your back.

“You’re okay. Bad dream is all,” he said softly. You nodded and started to relax, flinching when there was more thunder. “Hey, it’s okay. Nothing’s gonna get ya.”

The thunder shook the house and you tensed up. Jensen pulled the covers over both your heads and you crammed in as close as humanly possible when more thunder hit.

“Honey look at me. Please look at me.” You lifted your head and saw a horrible face in front of you, a scream ripping out of your throat.

“Y/N,” you heard as you woke up absolutely drenched, Jensen’s hands on your face. “Honey, talk to me. Can you hear me?”

“Night terror,” you said quietly. 

“Yeah, JJ used to have them. I didn’t know adults could get them,” he said. 

“Can I have a cold washcloth? And some water?” you asked. He got out of bed and padded into the bathroom in his boxers, settling back into bed and handing you the water. You drank it down while he wiped off your face and neck, running it over your head. “Thanks.”

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Mostly feel embarrassed.” He frowned and you put the glass on your nightstand, staring down at your sweaty shirt. 

“Should I call Ray?”

“It was a stupid nightmare. I’m fine,” you said.

“You were sat up eyes wide open and talking and shouting and I couldn’t wake you up,” he said. “I know adults really shouldn’t be getting night terrors so maybe something triggered you or something during the day.”

“I know my triggers and I know when it’s just a stupid nightmare. Back off,” you said. You got out from under the hot covers and went outside to the balcony, the air nice and cool from the storm earlier. The slide of the door was loud in the the quiet and you rubbed your arm. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ve seen you have nightmares. That was a lot worse,” he said.

“I thought I saw someone watching the house earlier.”

“What?”

“It was the neighbor’s kid, the teenager. It was his friend and he came over late but I thought...it freaked me out. That on top of thinking about the fact my father is not rotting in a jail cell most likely sent me over the edge,” you said. He walked in front of you, resting his hands on your arms. “I’m okay. Needed some air was all.”

“Alright. Tell me if something like that happens again?” he asked. You hummed and he gave you a kiss. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s head on back to bed.”

“What do you mean?” you growled into the phone the next evening. Jensen lifted his head from his book in the family room and you walked away, stepping out to the private patio area on the side of the house. “That’s not possible.”

“It’s been fifteen years. He has every legal right to be in the country.”

“In the country! He got an apartment seven minutes from where I live!” you said. “I have little kids here, Finn. Tell me there’s something I can do.��

“I can get a restraining order-”

“That doesn’t mean shit to him. I need him fucking deported. I need him gone.”

“Y/N, you know me. I have never agreed to it but he paid his debt as it was assigned and he quietly followed the law. He did what he was supposed to and I’m sorry but until he does something, I can’t do anything besides help you and your fiance’s family get a restraining order.”

“So until he does something horrible again, I can’t do anything about it.”

“Y/N.”

“No Finn. I appreciate the heads up but...I have to go.”

You hung up and squeezed your phone tight. He knew where you lived. He was minutes away and there was absolutely zero help until something went wrong. You sat on a bench and bounced your leg. Nothing could go wrong. You couldn’t let anything go wrong. Who knew what the son of a bitch would do to any one of them.

You stopped bouncing your leg just as you heard the door open. You lifted your head and stood, spinning around to Jensen standing there.

“Everything alright?”

“Actually no.”

“Who was on the phone?”

“My ex,” you said, swallowing. You crossed your arms and thought of the things Jensen had told you about acting and getting in character and all that. You were gonna destroy him. Fuck you were going to end up shattering him into a thousand pieces he’d never put back together. 

You couldn’t really lie just to keep them away from him, could you? 

You saw Arrow run past in the house and made your face hard. Broken heart but safe kids was worth it.

“I thought you didn’t talk to him anymore,” said Jensen. You turned up your chin and he smiled. “You are the worst actress in the world. Who was it really?”

“I think we’re moving too fast and I want to take a break and I would appreciate it if you gave me my space to figure this out on my own.”

“Uh, what?” he said. You brushed past him and he followed you in, all the way up to your bedroom. You got out a bag and he flipped it shut. “What the hell is going on? Who was on the phone?”

“My boyfriend,” you said. He stared at you and you sighed. “You’re a great guy but I’m sorry. I can’t do the house and kids thing. I want to go see the world and not be tied down and you’re just...you’re too damn old for me.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Maybe you should have trusted your first instincts when you saw me and Doug,” you said. He stared at you while you shoved some clothes in a bag. You slung it over your shoulder and he caught the backside of it. You took off your ring and put it on the table by the door, Jensen dropping his hand. “I just can’t do this anymore. It wasn’t you. I’m sorry. I really need to go.”

______

A/N: Read Part 16 here!

[darkdevasofdestruction]

A Thousand Year Love ~ Ryomen Sukuna x Kitsune!Reader

Okay, I wrote the Reader's name as "Kitsune", but that's mostly because I envisioned a nine tailed fox without an actual name, that everyone would just call her "Fox" as if she wasn't anyone worth naming, despite her rank.

This is a little fic which explored Sukuna's supposed backstory, 1000 years prior to he action of Jujutsu Kaisen - Idk if it's accurate, I didn't yet read the manga, I still have 6 more episodes from the anime, but I had this idea and I couldn't stop myself from writing about it.

Most of it builds up the bond that very slowly grows between Sukuna and Kitsune, then snaps during a scene somewhere around episode 4 of the anime, when Sukuna takes over Yuji's body, and Yuji can't switch for a while, but with enough altercations that it's not exactly the same as in the said episode.

Hope you enjoy this <3

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"What are we doing here...?" Kitsune asked her parents in a voice that was barely audible as she looked left and right at the huge estate's gardens.

Estate? Rather said, palace, since this place was grandiose - Most likely, even more so than the Emperor's own Palace, the girl thought to herself. Everywhere she looked, cherry, plum and pear trees were in blossom, even though it wasn't their time. Statues and little shrines, along with various small pools with flowers, lanterns and lotuses were scattered as much as her vision would allow her to see. Looking up at the estate, she realised just how small she was in comparison to the intimidating and imposing energies radiating all over the place.

"You are going to meet someone very important, dear." her mother spoke, yet her voice wasn't as gentle as usual, rather, it sounded stiff, on the edge...Almost afraid, maybe? It was foreign for young Kitsune, as she has been confined in her little palace her whole life under the pretext of keeping her safe. But it did exactly the opposite, she believed, considering she itched to explore and go on adventures with each second passing. "Who is it?" she asked as soon as they stepped inside the palace...But it was so dark, save for the red, malicious light from the lanterns and candles lit in just the perfect places so it would guide them to the room they had to go to. "...You will find out soon." her father snapped at her, and she could only frown, her fluffy ears flicking as her tails wrapped protectively around herself. She knew something was wrong, and she had half a mind to believe she was brought there as a sacrifice for some War Deity that would allegedly save them from this era of war...Or something along the lines.

After a longer walk than expected, they found themselves in front of two large, red doors, and without any kind of reticence, Kitsune effortlessly slammed the doors open and saw a dimly lit room with a few stairs and a throne where a man with short, kinda spiky pink hair, garbed in a loose, white kimono was smugly sprawled over that royally embellished chair, while tons of gorgeous women dressed in the most luxurious kimonos, their hair done up with intricate headpieces and flowers that would put any living being to shame...

But what is this about? Kitsune was more confused than anything, and she could only step inside the room, slowly and carefully, before turning to look at her parents, who had a pitiful look in their eyes.

"What is going on?" Kitsune demanded an answer, her voice agitated, her body ready to go into a fight or flight mode, her eyes darting rapidly between her parents and the man on the throne whose name she wasn't interested in finding out. "Well, darling...You see...You had to find you a husband. You are old enough to be married, and you can't stay with us forever. You need to have a family and children. You are the princess of the Fox clan, there is nobody more beautiful than you -..." her mother tried to reason, but the young girl wasn't stupid. She understood what was going on. "No. No. If you want to speak - Then speak the truth. Don't lie to me. This guy is strong, isn't he? Some kind of demonic thing that everyone is afraid off. You are giving me away to this guy...To be his...Thousandth concubine in his harem or something, just because you're too weak to take care of our kin. That's the truth, isn't it? Go on, admit it. Stop trying to sugar coat the situation." her nine tails opened from around her in a large, undulating fan, making her aggression obvious, as fire began to immolate the tips of her fur. "SHUT UP, IMPERTINENT, UNRULY CHILD!" her mother slapped her face, not wanting their benefactor to hear his future concubine speaking so foul of him. "You are a woman, and the princess, nonetheless, and your role is to continue our kin and obey your family and husband. Do not speak unless you are allowed to!" but before her mother could grab her face, Kitsune's tail slapped her hand away, and she stepped back. "I am nobody's toy. I will not obey anyone's orders. Not yours, and not his. I will not be just another concubine for some disgusting, good for nothing lecher with no redeeming quality." the girl snarled at them, ready to make her escape out of there, if needed. "If your sister was alive, she would have sacrificed herself for the greater good of this family! You are nothing more than a selfish brat!" it was her father's time to accuse her, which made her ears perk up, while her tails completely deflated. "Yes, of course, how could I forget. It was me who should have died, not my perfect elder sister. Sorry, but you should curse the Gods, not me for that. But, since it seems that my life is meaningless to you, then I will make you a favour! I will end it myself! I'm sure you'll be happy without me, won't you? Ahh...But how will you save our war-ridden? Too bad I won't be alive to witness your demise, huh?" with a dark chuckle, Kitsune's hand went inside her kimono, taking the small kodachi sword and unsheathing it, hearing only the gasps and shrieks of fright from the harem girls. Kitsune could only guess that these girls were all high-born and unfamiliar to the horrible things happening outside of these walls. "What the hell are you doing, you idiotic child?! Cease this madness at once!" her mother shrieked at her, lounging towards her, trying to stop herself from impaling that blade through her body, and yet...

The second the girl launched her hand down to stab herself...She got stopped. The whole place became instantly silent, save for the sound of a blade bouncing down as it fell on the wooden floor. "Enough." a dark, annoyed voice resounded through the place as Kitsune's wrists were grasped by the man's...Front hands? While her body was immobilized in an embrace by his other two arms. "I was promised a beautiful princess as a concubine, and you failed to do as you promised. Leave, before I get bored and kill you." he threatened the two adult fox people who scurried away in a hurry, leaving behind their only daughter without a second thought. "You, however...Will remain here." he chuckled in her ear, but Kitsune wasn't one to be messed with. Her answer came in the form of lighting up her tails on fire an wrapping them around the man, who hissed and unhanded her, allowing her enough time to go into a corner and get in a fleeing stance. "Why did you stop me? I have no intention of being one of your whores. You should have let me end it right there." she scoffed at the man, who dismissed the bottom pair of arms and laughed. It was almost a psychopathic laugh, she thought, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand up - Unsure if it was from fright or disgust. "You amuse me, little vixen. Very much, you amuse me. Having a little fox wag her tails around this place, all fired up, would give some sense of fun, wouldn't you say?" his voice was grating her, and she only wanted to sock him in the jaw. "Keep on dreaming. I'm not your toy, and I'm not here for anyone's entertainment. You have enough girls in this place to amuse you. I'll be going now, and even if you chain me, you can't stop me from achieving my freedom." Kitsune growled at him, slamming open the sliding door that would lead into the balcony, from where she could jump the hell away from there. "You proved you value your life even less than your parents do, so chaining you would do nothing. I have never seen a woman as fiery as you. All the ones I have are the same. Meek, soft...Afraid. Boring. They all like the same things, and hate the same things." he groaned pitifully, evidently bored out of his mind. "They hate you, don't they? You want women, but you don't bother treating them right. Can you get even more typically terrible? Pitiful and disgusting, that's what you are. You just want to break people for your entertainment. You are nothing more than a selfish megalomaniac. No wonder you are in need of entertaining, you are thoroughly boring." Kitsune's degrading words, however, didn't seem to phase the man at all - In fact - It made him laugh. Never, in this life, has he heard anything this degrading before - Everyone tried their best to appeal to his benevolent and merciful side - To at least spare their lives. He was stronger than anyone alive, so nobody dared speak up in front of him. It was obvious she had no idea who he was - All the better - He thought. "Ryomen Sukuna, missy, but you can call me your Emperor." that confident laugh was enough to drive Kitsune up the wall with anger as she stomped to his side and actually punched his jaw. It was annoying - The height difference - As he towered over her entirely, but at least she managed to reach where needed, little miss firecracker. "Piss off." the fox girl growled in anger at him...And yet...He only...Laughed. And he cupped her face, getting his own so close to hers that they could feel each other's breaths. "You. Are. Mine." his grin was so wide and sociopathic that he might as well have had his face split in two. "I will never be yours. I will never be anyone's. I'm not an object. I will not obey anyone. The second you leave me out of your sight, I will flee, and you will never see me again. And if I can't, I will find a way to kill myself. I have nothing to live for, but everything to die for." Kitsune bared her elongated canines at him, and gosh, was she enticing. "And if I get rid of the harem?" he asked, not bothering with everything she talked before. "You'll be a heartless jerk who'll destroy

the lives of so many women." she refuted just as quickly. "And if I don't fuck anyone but you?" he threw that, wanting to fluster her, but the fire in her eyes only ignited even higher. "As usual, you can only think with the wrong head, can't you? There's nothing to you but your stupid little prick. How pathetic. And you call yourself a man. Go die in the war or something." she grabbed him by the loose neck line of his kimono, only to hear him laughing condescendingly. "But darling, that just couldn't possibly happen. I am simply too strong to get killed. Everybody fears my power, why else do you think your parents were so willing to give you away? They were weak, just like you said, and every weakling needs the help of Ryomen Sukuna, Japan's own God of War." this statement made the girl's gorgeous eyes widen in shock...Only to start laughing, almost hysterically. "Oh, bow down to the self proclaimed God of War! Can you believe that! Your majesty, tone down your arrogance, it's gonna get yourself killed! I knew it, you're absolutely useless! All you can do is bark, no bite, little puppy! The only thing intimidating about you is your height, other than that, you are just a generic man who thinks he's all to powerful. How ridiculous." the fox girl couldn't stop her degrading laughing, which confused the man for a while, only to smirk and pick her up bridal style, carrying her out of that room, not letting her get out of his grasp, no matter how much she tried to wiggle or burn him. "I won't let you go until you acknowledge my infinite strength, cute, little fox. But don't think that just because I favour you, I will let you get away with all the shit you called me." his voice sounded darker, more ominously, but it didn't seem to intimidate the girl. "Not in a million years. Not even in your sweetest dreams. You're pathetic and I'll never acknowledge you as anything else but a disgusting, lecherous pig!" she yelled at his face, to which he responded by letting her roughly fall on a soft futon, then crouching by her side and gripping her face just as her mother did before. "Say that again when you'll end up screaming my name as if your life depends on it." he laughed at her before leaving her new room, which she won't leave for a while.

This annoying girl, Sukuna was intrigued by her, but at the same time, he was very tempted into strangling her or snapping her neck - Despite all that fire she lets out, he was curious if she'd end up groveling in self-pity, begging him for mercy, going back on her previous misguided and foolish courage. Wasn't it bad enough that she had no idea who HE was? He also had to endure such disrespect - And even worse - Enjoy it? That little fox bitch was ready to commit seppuku in front of everyone just to prove a point, what the hell else could be more entertaining? All the women he's had were given away by their families as tributes, and none said a word. He was a jerk to them, he fucked them, he mistreated them - Sukuna didn't give a fuck about any woman, man, child, animal...Or any living being in the world, except for himself. All were beneath him - Unworthy, weak, frail -...

And yet, they still lie to his face, trembling as they say all the fake, sweet nothings - "I love you, My Lord" the women would say, their voice shaky, jumping in fright as he'd touch them. He was a rough man, he never knew gentleness, nor mercy, no love - Through all the words spewed by the firey woman, the part where she declared he had no idea how to treat women properly - Yes, it was true, but did he care? Of course not.

Humans were all puppets with whom he could play as much as he wanted - All instruments for his entertaining in this terribly boring world, he would manipulate everyone like dolls on his strings, and when they've exhausted their means of entertaining him, the string will be cut, and the puppets will fall in an abyss of infernal fire.

For the first two weeks, Sukuna and Kitsune were literally acting like a cat chasing a mouse - And each time, the cat would surprise the mouse just as she was about to survive - He was giving her hope of success, only to pick her up by one of her many tails, or embrace her from behind, pick her up, trip her, show up from behind a tree, play with her hair as he came up from a tree behind her, and sometimes, even going as far as to mock her by pointing her the way out of the place.

But very soon, she gave up, and decided to starve herself to death by not leaving her assigned room, ignoring him entirely whenever she'd get visited by him - But that ended in the worst way possible - With her fainting and unable to wake up, and Sukuna freaking out because he didn't want his little toy to die before she got boring.

He laid next to her on the futon, holding her in his eyes, brushing her hair out of her face, playing with her vivid red hair - She truly looked like a fox in Sukuna's eyes, and he almost felt his heart warm up as he felt up the soft fur on her tails, waiting for his cursed energy to heal her up. After some time, he noticed the little red ball of fur getting smaller and smaller as she cuddled into his chest, resembling a defenseless kit searching for warmth, love and safety from its mother. She was so much smaller than him - So frail, so thin, so soft...So cute? - What was it that he was feeling? Calmness? Protectiveness?

He was furious at her for neglecting her health just so she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of toying with her - But that was also endearing, in its own, messed up way? She would go to such dramatic extremes to prove him wrong...It seemed that no matter what she did, it would still make him enjoy her company.

Whenever he'd fuck one of his harem girls, he wouldn't stay over, not even for a kiss - Hell, he didn't even know most of their names - Why should he? They were all the same to him - But he felt such a strong sense of protectiveness over he - He didn't want to strangle her to death anymore - Maybe just a bit of fun, some teasing, some startling - His hand around her supple neck as she looks up at him with her sparkling eyes, calling out his name - Sukuna, Sukuna - Pleading softly, but desperately to him for her sweet release - Sukuna, Sukuna - And he will be merciful, for once, and give her what she wants.

Just as he was caught in his own, sick fantasy, he felt the girl move and grumble, turning on her back, her small hands flying to rub her eyes awake - And he rolled over her, a playful, teasing smirk on his face as he waited for her to realise the position they were in - And yet, she was still out of it, for her eyes were half-lidded and gleaming, she was still weak from her lack of self-care, and she could only look up at him, dazed..."Sukuna...?" she mumbled in a whispery tone - What is she doing to him?! How dare she entice him so much? He wasn't supposed to be attracted to her in any way, so why...?!

"Relax, sweet-cheeks. I'm here." he spoke in a low voice, not wanting to alert her...Wait, what - "...Thanks." muttering that, she let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes again, the corners of her mouth slightly turned upright as she allowed herself to fall back asleep and rest, not caring too much that she felt a slight pressure on both of her hands, in the form of the demon man pressing his own hands to hers, intertwining their fingers together as he towered over her, watching her chest rise and fall rhythmically as she breathed, her kissable, pink lips just a tiny bit parted. He couldn't stop himself - She was too irresistible, and he was much too insatiable - And he leaned down, pressing his own lips over hers - Gently - Very gently in fact, almost as if afraid of breaking a porcelain doll, as if afraid to crush a snowdrop he just picked from a glade, one just just barely managed to get out from under the remaining, melting snow of early spring. "You'll be the death of me, cutie." he found himself saying as he licked his lips, taking in the sweetness of the kiss.

Since then on, despite not being exactly friendly with the man, the fox girl didn't hate him that much anymore. It even got well enough for them to eat in the same room, or play shogi - The girl beating him at it more often than not, which left mixed feelings in his heart - And then he showed her the musical instruments that the concubines would sometimes use whenever he'd want a banquet and more sinful indulgences. He didn't ask her to play for him, though. He realised that the more he tried to push the girl, the less likely she'll actually do anything he wants.

Even more, the more time they spent together, the more his concubines would get neglected - So much that he was completely drawn to this fox girl and all the other women were completely wiped from his head. - And he started gifting her a bunch of beautiful kimonos, only to find them in front of his room's door, rejected. She didn't want anything from him, nor did she want his favour, so she continued wearing her simple clothes.

Until...

Until one night - It was a special night, really - For the moon was full, and big, and gleaming with such a beautiful silver light that neither of them saw in the many years they've been alive. And Kitsune dressed in one of her festival yukatas and went to the lotus pond, surrounded by a few wisteria trees, as the mirror of the water reflected the celestial orb like sparkling zircons. The fox gingerly jumped in the middle of the sheen, walking on it like a spirit, only her feminine silhouette being seen, as her long hair was gently blown by the warm spring wind and her tails were dancing around her in perfect sync. As her feet moved to the sound of the melody she played on a vertical flute she was given by the owner of the place, Sukuna found himself unable to move from his place on the palace balcony, his sight fixated on the woman's form as she alternated playing the instrument and dancing with ribbon-fans.

Her moves were fluid and mystifying like those of a priestess leading a will'o'wisp to rest into kakuriyo, the land of the dead - what was he supposed to do now? He was confused and mesmerised. He's seen his fair share of beautiful women playing instruments and dancing for him - Hundreds of them, in fact - But none could match the effect this nine tailed fox girl had on him.

This continued days on end, but he never admitted to her that he was stalking her every night, nor that he was completely enchanted and under her spell, at the point of no return.

"I'm going to war tomorrow." he told her one evening as he poured himself some sake. "...Good for you. Finally, more entertaining for the most powerful man on Earth...Or something. Bring me a souvenir when you return, I guess." the girl merely shrugged her shoulders as she took the tea pot and poured herself some tea, not bothering with any reaction. "You're not worried for me, are you? What if I die tomorrow? Will you weep for me?" he leaned forward, taking her chin between his fingers. " 'Course not. You're the one who keeps boasting about how you're the most powerful man on Earth and The God of War or something. Besides - If you die, I will just steal all your money and get the hell out of this place, so I can finally see the world through my very eyes, not through inked letters on paper. I want to be free and fly. Life here is boring. I've had enough years of being home stuck, don't you think?" she snapped at him as she snatched the now empty sake up and poured herself some alcohol. "And what if I promise to take you out to see the world when I return?" he smirked at her, watching her ears perk up a bit at the proposition. "...I don't believe you." she looked away before she could reveal any real emotion in her eyes. "I promise. But you also have to promise to relax around me. You're always on the edge, even if you've been here for a whole year. I saw you play in the winter, jump to collect autumn leaves taken by the wind, pick up fruit after climbing up the trees, and make flower crowns in spring. I saw you get buried completely in snow, only one of your tails being seen, I saw you make fruit wine in autumn, send paper lanterns into the sky and bathe in the lotus ponds. We're not strangers anymore, and I've never hurt you even once. So, do we have a deal?" his hunter-like eyes carefully watched her every reaction, noticing how her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly, before biting into it softly - She was nervous, that much was obvious - And Sukuna was now a pro at reading her behaviour. "...I'll try. But if you go back on your promise...I promise you, you won't wake up the next morning." she scoffed, threatening him, but it only ended up making him laugh. "The little kitten has claws, how adorable. That's fair, I'll let you have that." the man chuckled at her, petting her hair just between her ears, making her close her eyes and blush just a tiny bit. He was finally able to reach her - Not by much, but even this much was enough for him...For now.

For a whole month, Kitsune was all alone in the palace - Or so she felt, despite the numerous harem girls and the servants - All who had to obey her every order - But she refused any of that. If she wanted to eat, she would make food for herself. If she wanted to drink, she'd get some herself. If she wanted to bathe, she would prepare the bath herself - Just as she's always done. However, all this time, she was never in need of company. She couldn't handle people, nor their fakeness and many other useless emotions that would only make them vulnerable and susceptible of being used and taken for granted.

She's been through that numerous times while living with her family, and she wasn't about to let that happen again.

Thankfully, Kitsune never felt lonely, nor bored - However, she realised that she actually enjoyed Sukuna's annoying presence, and somehow, she found herself awaiting his coming back sooner.

"Master came back, vacation's over. Take care, everyone...I heard he's been injured. Can you believe it? Never thought demons can bleed." the many rumours circulated around the palace, but the fox girl only snapped at the gossipers, glaring at them to shut up. But she didn't go to greet him, like everyone else did. Instead, she waited until night to go to his room, and she found him on the ground, calmly drinking some sake.

"Ah, look at this, a little fox found its way in my humble abode. What ever could you be doing here, I wonder?" he chuckled teasingly, as she only looked down at him, giving him a slight head tilt, yet no expression on her blank face. "Are you wounded?" she muttered in a low voice, almost half-wanting not to have been heard...But she was. "Ha! So you heard those rumours too, haven't you? How ridiculous! Me? Ryomen Sukuna, the God of War, getting injured? Preposterous!" his bark-like laugh echoed through the place, but it didn't move the girl in any way. Instead, slowly crouched next to him, snatching down the already loose kimono top from his torso, letting it fall down to his chest, as her delicate fingers traced his chest, arm and back, analysing each and every fresh wound and scar alike. "I thought you could heal. Cursed energy magic or something. What you did to me when I passed out. Stupid liar. All you know how to do is to boast to everyone, but you can't even admit that you are still capable of making mistakes sometimes." her voice was obviously pissed off, but not enough to sock him in the jaw again. "Anti-regeneration magic. I didn't know something like that existed. Gimme a break." he scoffed, looking away in mild embarrassment. "Lucky you. Now don't move, or you'll really piss me off." she sneered at him as she made blue fire light up her palms and focused on healing him. It was then that she realised how good it felt to feel someone's bare skin, to feel his muscles, sore from fighting so much. He was finally beginning to look more like a man - A warrior - Not like some obnoxious, bratty, entitled casa nova. "I didn't know you could heal people. It tickles." he smirked slightly, turning his head to watch her focused face. "You don't know many things about me, Sukuna. Don't even bother trying, you'll never be able to, anyway." she scowled at him, but this time, it wasn't as aggressive as usual. "I've always loved a challenge, sugar." he chuckled boastfully, only for her to frown and look at him. "Is that all I am for you? A challenge?" she asked in a softer voice, sounding almost disappointed. "Not anymore. You've always been an enigma for me. You were fun, that's why I kept you around. If you weren't, I'd have killed you. I have no regrets about killing anyone, reason or not. But you got under my skin. I don't want to unveil the enigma behind you anymore. I just want to know you." carefully, his hands found their way on her hips, just before pulling her on his lap, only for her to stiffen up completely, her hands quickly taken off of his skin, as she quickly snapped her head away from him, her face covered by the long hair that resembled the blood he spilled on the battlefield. "Aww, are you shy, cutie~?" his seductive voice was back again, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face - But she couldn't bring herself to speak - Instead, she just gulped and jumped away from him, taking a few deep breaths before getting out of the room, and climbing up to the roof, hugging her legs to her chest, leaning her chin on her knees, her bottom lip bitten into to the point of drawing blood.

What the hell was she thinking, letting herself getting touched like that? By someone like Sukuna, nonetheless, who, if given the chance, would have his way with her, then toss her aside like he did with all the other women in his enormous harem. Her heart was beating so hard, so fast against her chest. It was a foreign feeling that scared her so much that for a long while, she couldn't help but avoid him once again, going out of her way to only leave her room when she was sure he wasn't there. It didn't always work out as she wished, but she still tried nonetheless, as succeeded for most of the time.

"Are you scared of me?" Sukuna asked the girl one night, when he found her softly shedding tears up on the roof. "...No." she offered a monotone answer. "Then why are you avoiding me again? Do you hate me?" he asked again, only for her to hang her head and hug herself. "I realised that I shouldn't be alive. All my life I've known only two emotions - Hatred and Rage - All of them masked by a facade of complete neutrality, passiveness and uncaring. But, now...I can feel my heart beating. And it hurts. I was so ready to throw away my life, and I knew I would have no regrets. I lived for nothing. I have no memories of anything good happening in my life. I thought that...I thought that maybe...I would be able to feel, staying here, with you. I wanted to feel something good, for once. What was that called...Happiness? Love? I wanted to feel those too. I guess it's too much to ask from this cruel life. The second you touched me, I started panicking and I got scared. I was afraid. Not of you, but of the idea of possibly getting hurt. I don't know how to feel, and I don't think I'll ever be able to be a proper being...But maybe...Someday...I will be able to look up at the same sky, at this very same moon, and the very same stars...And smile...And my chest won't be hurting anymore. And I won't be afraid anymore. Maybe, in the next life...Or the one after that...I will be lucky. Maybe times will change, and people won't be so cruel anymore. I'm sorry, Sukuna. I didn't end up being who and what you thought I'd be. I will forever be a disappointment to everyone I meet." she wasn't sure if her words were directed to anyone at all, or if she just found the courage to speak for the first time in her life - To acknowledge the existence of feelings altogether - But Sukuna understood her. Except for the thrill of the kill and fleeting quenched lust, he didn't feel any relief. Just like her, anger and hatred, for the entirety of his life. How different and similar the two of them really were, he realised, as he went to hug her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head. "You have never disappointed me, Kitsune. You cannot disappoint me. I understand what you're feeling. It's a cruel world, and we are much crueler to everyone around us, including ourselves. If you ever think you have it in your heart to accept me, I will be waiting. Forever, if needed. And if not, I will be awaiting in the next life. Or in the next one. I won't give up on you." and saying that, he planted a kiss on her temple before leaving her alone to watch the same silver moon they've been looking up at for so long. "...Thank you." she spoke to herself after who knows how long.

And she smiled.

Every day passing, she would look at the pink haired warrior, and every day, she'd want to throw herself in his arms, but every time, she'd start shaking, and she'd turn around and leave the place. This whole ordeal continued for well over three months, until one day, the palace was attacked with burning arrows, and the whole place was lit aflame.

In the mayhem in cause, the fox girl made sure to gather all the civilians in the huge estate and lead them to safety, and by the time she was done, she rushed to search for Sukuna, the person the enemies wanted to bring down, once and for all. However, by the time she found him, the whole place was ablaze, the once blooming garden was now turned into ashes, and the Demon God of War was heavily bleeding, slouched and leaning his back against a wall.

Opposite of him, many meters away, a menacing looking enemy who had spears in his hands was ready to throw them at him...And Sukuna merely smirked, defeated, and closed his eyes, awaiting for the impact of his ultimate death.

"Sukuna...Keep your eyes closed." Kitsune's low, shaking voice called out to him, but instead of doing as he was told, his eyes snapped open, only to widen in terror seeing the girl he grew to love, impaled by numerous spears, acting as a shield for him. "K...Kitsu...Ne...?!" he managed to usher after getting over his shock. "I told you...To keep you eyes closed...Idiot." she shook her head as she curled her fingers on the wall, taking a few deep breaths, despite her legs shaking. "Idiot. Idiot. You are such an idiot." "No...You...You were supposed to run away...I told you to run away...I told you...To...Live..." his voice was desperate, trembling, not believing what he was seeing before his very eyes. "Not without you...We were supposed to...Go...together...And be happy...And look at the moon...And stars...Together..." but as she said that, she heard the air getting split by yet another set of spears that go through her tails and torso, making her lose strength and fall over the man she was shielding. With her last strength, she punched back the spears out of her body and crawled on his lap, cradling his body, wrapping it up protectively with her tails, holding tightly onto him. "I never learnt how to fight...I never had anything to protect...Until I found you. I have no regrets dying, if you live. Close your eyes, Sukuna. I...I love you." and just before all strength left her body, she cupped his face and stole a weak kiss.

She was happy. She finally found her courage to act as she wished - With her heart, not with her fears. She was finally able to expel all the bad things possessing her. She died, and yet, she was finally smiling. She regretted nothing.

She was really happy.

"...Look there, Kitsune. Look at the moon. And the stars. And we are together. In this life. And the next one...And the one after...I will find you. And I will protect you. Don't be afraid anymore...Nothing will hurt you again. Until then...Sleep well, my Princess...Wait for me...Very soon."

---------

"Don't worry, Yuji! We will find all the victims of this place and rescue them! You'll see!" the cheerful nine-tailed girl wagged her fluff left and right as she dragged her best friend to the ominous place, as their other two team mates followed soon after, both having different reactions, as usual.

As her shikigami fox and Megumi's white wolf were assigned to make sure no cursed spirit would sneak up on them, they tried to make heads or tails of the distorted reality inside the place - They knew they may be dealing with a Special-Grade monster, but to have power of such magnitude seemed...Unreal...And unsettling.

"Guys, calm down. This is the Innate Domain...Cursed energy made this foul play...But I've never seen anything like...This. We have to move fast, and not split up, or we'll get picked one by one." Kitsune gritted her teeth, feeling the fur on her tails stand up. "Where's the door?!" Megumi yelled, turning around, only for everyone to gasp, realising the way they got through completely disappeared. "Th-The door's gone?!" Yuji blinked, incredulous at what he was witnessing. "How?! We just came in through here, didn't we?!" Nobara freaked out, only to make a short, brain dead dance with Yuji. "Calm down. The dog remembers the scent of the entrance." saying that, the two fawned over the two canines as they let them lead the way, only to find three mangled corpses, one of them having a name tag - It was the name of the child of the desperate woman outside of the place, pleading to the police to rescue him.

However, a fight erupted between the two boys who couldn't decide whether they should run away or rescue the corpses, as closure for the woman outside, at least, and while Nobara yelled at them, trying to make them stop...She...Disappeared?! Through a makeshift hole in the floor that wasn't there before.

"B-But...Megumi's demon dog and my fox should have been able to sense the curse...!" Kitsune then quickly turned around, only to gasp, noticing the bloody corpses of the said shikigami protruding from the walls. "NO! CYNDER!" she whimpered, hating to see her lovely companion in such a state. "ITADORI! KITSUNE! WE HAVE TO RUN! WE'LL LOOK FOR KUJISAKI AND -" but before he could finish speaking, Kitsune's whimper, that grew louder, along with the presence of the demon she was pointing at, staring straight at her...Made both boys stop in their tracks, wide eyed and shocked...And very much afraid.

The trio was sweating bullets, trying to move, trying to get the hell away from there - But Yuji moved first, taking out his knife, slashing at the Special-Grade....Only for his hand to go flying far away...From the impact.

"Megumi, run away! Go find Nobara, I'll stay here and create a diversion! Give us a signal when you're out of here! Yuji can get Sukuna and save us!" the fox girl yelled at her brunet friend desperately as she pushed him away, but a mouth on Yuji's cheek, speaking very derogatory, pointed out he doesn't give a fuck about Yuji's body, and that he won't die, even if his vessel does. "Nope~! Even if parts of me inside you die, I've still got 18 other fragments of my soul! Still, irritatingly enough, I don't have control of this body, so go away and switch, if you want! But once you do...I'll kill that brat before the cursed spirit can! Then, I'll go for that woman. She's a lively one. I'll have fuck with her. And then...I'll claim this cute fox girl that you care so much for!" Sukuna kept talking, and it was creating a state of panic in Yuji's heart. "Don't listen to him, Yuji! I know you won't let him take over you completely! You can't hurt us!" Kitsune yelled at her friend, trying to snap him out of the trance Sukuna put him in. "No, no, no, darling, you're wrong. If he's too focused on me, his friends WILL die~!" the demon kept laughing at his vessel, until the Special Grade unleashed a full blast of pure, cursed energy. "Yuji, look out!" she jumped at him, getting him out of the blast's range. "Stop listening to him, and take care of yourself! This isn't Jujutsu, this is pure cursed energy! We have to buy Megumi and Nobara enough time to get the hell out of here! Look at this jerk, he's having fun. I'm sure we can figure something out." the fox girl gritted her teeth in anger, but before either of them could try to attack or dodge - In the blink of an eye, really - She felt herself getting picked up and slammed on the wall before her by yet another blast of cursed energy - Followed by another, that flew her on the bridge in the next room, rendering her barely conscious. "KITSUNE! KITSUNEEEE!" she heard her pink haired friend's desperate wail as he tried to shake her awake. "...Sukuna...?" she asked, her shaking hands trying to rub away the tiredness from her eyes, as she looked up at him with gleaming, half-lidded eyes.

Before he could answer, shocked that she would call him by his demon's name, and even more, his own demon shocked, hearing her say something like that, she managed to cling onto the boy enough to get herself back on her feet, turning towards the attacker, her big, fluffy tails opening like a protective fan for the boy, as she created a blast of blue spirit fire to try to counter the cursed energy blast from the enemy. It made her growl from the pain, but her mind was blank - She had no regrets - No matter what life she was living, she will only get stronger and stronger, until she succeeds and protects the ones dear to her.

But not in this lifetime.

She wasn't strong enough yet. She was nowhere near her mentor, Satoru, in power. She had no way to compete with him, nor could she protect her friends when needed.

How pathethic.

It was her last thought before the cursed energy took over her, burning away some of her skin and creating even more damage after getting slammed and breaking yet another wall. With the last bit of consciousness she was able to hold onto, she saw her pink haired friend still alive and well - By some standards, at least - And she could merely smile and fight back the darkness threatening to take over.

But...Something happened, for the boy now seemed fearless - And he even taunted with the special-grade...And then he healed his own arm, before going to her, looking down at her, shaking his head. The markings on his face...This wasn't Yuji. This was...

"Idiot." a much darker, more masculine voice came from the body of the teenage vessel as he crouched down to the girl. "You never change, no matter what life you reincarnate into, do you? But that's the charm about you, stupid fox. You never really lose your memories of the past, do you?" he gently caressed her face, feeling his heart beating a bit faster as he noticed she was smiling and leaning into his touch. "You said you'll find me...So what is there to fear?" she mused weakly, before she got picked up bridal style, allowing her to cuddle into his chest, finally allowed to rest at ease. "Let's teach this weakling a lesson and get the hell out of here. The moon is up." Sukuna chuckled as he walked up to the demon, effortlessly punching in the head, slamming it into the bridge, only to smash his foot into its head, breaking the bridge altogether. As they fell, the monster grabbed his leg, but the fox-fire burn on his hand was enough to get his to shriek in pain and let go, as Sukuna jumped on one of the falling rubbles, taunting and laughing condescendingly, as he ripped apart the monster limb from limb before impaling it into a wall, as soon as they reached the watery ground. "Honestly, I'm jealous. I could never get to your power with jujutsu alone. Satoru said this thing is 80% born talent. How disheartening." she grumbled, feeling better already. "There's nothing cursed in your heart, sugar. Let the killing to me. I promised I'll protect you, I'm not going back on my word. I'm not going to see you die again." he threw her up a bit to get a better hold on her. "Hang onto me, foxy. Let's show this sucker how we do things." seeing his infamous smirk on his face, she threw her arms around his neck, holding on tightly, seeing as he did a hand seal, calling out his Malevolent Shrine...And they were back home, dressed the same as they were so long ago...A thousand years ago...And the monster got split in 5 slices, before Sukuna dug out another one of his soul-fingers, and he started grinning even laughing even darker, realising that Yuji couldn't switch bodies again, which made villain jump out of the facility, right on top of it. "I guess...No matter what life we live, the sky is going to be forever beautiful." Kitsune sighed as soon as he let her down, but she didn't let go of him. Not this time. Fears won't take over her life anymore. "And yours is even more eternal than the moon's or the stars." he cupped her face, taking in her beauty for the first time in over a thousand years. "It's been to long. I made you wait far too long. I hope you didn't miss me too much." one of his hands found its fingers raking through her hair, and she closed her eyes a bit, taking in the warm, loving feeling that completely took over her. "I'll forgive you. You did take your bloody time...But at least you're here now. And you're not going anywhere. I won't let you." her hands slid down to the neck of his blouse, pulling him to her level, which only made him smirk smugly. "Good. That was my intention." his charming, dark voice spoke, making her heart beating faster, and feeling the hair on the back of her neck and the fluff on her tails stand up from excitement. "Won't it be weird? Being Yuji's body...?" she asked shyly, as he only chuckled, pulling the same Malevolent Shrine trick, so they finally looked as they did when they first met. "Better, sweet cheeks?" he pulled her flushed to his body, as she got on her tippy toes to get closer to his face. "Spectacular."

As the fox girl couldn't stop touching his face, raking her fingers through his hair, feeling his body closer to hers as her whole body felt hotter than ever before - It was just a kiss - His lips so sweet against her own, his arms, so strong, holding her, feeling her, loving her.

It was only them, under the gentle light of the silver moon, guarding them, as the stars softly twinkled, embellishing gold into the dark sky - Just like this love light up the darkness in their hearts.

Her tails wrapped around him instinctively, as they pulled apart, and looked each other in the eyes for the first time since they've known each other. Her eyes were sparkling with happiness, her lips were curled into a kitten-like smile, and she was glowing - It made Sukuna's heart have a pleasant arrhythmia as he saw in front of his very eyes a sight that he's been dreaming about for over a millennium - The woman that captured his heart - Happy, in his own arms, safe, and very kissable.

This feeling and image were worth waiting a thousand years.

[yuriko-mukami]

Maniac: Epilogue

Yuriko’s Story

Epilogue

Yuriko lay on her bed, pressing her fox plushie against her chest. Days had turned long now that she couldn’t go to school and Ruki had kept his distance for a while. They should have gone looking for the shrine but he had simply told her that first, they should solve how to keep her newly appeared skills in check.

Yet that wasn’t all. Over and over again, Yuriko’s mind played out the scene where Ruki grabbed Keisuke by the throat, almost killing him then and there. 

Almost killing him.

Almost killing him.

Almost killing him.

Ruki was a vampire. A creature who sucked blood from living beings and could end the life of probably any mortal with his fingers only. The same hands that had caressed Yuriko’s body, had hurt others, perhaps taken one or more lives.

Was Ruki a killer?

Probably.

Rather likely.

Yuriko curled into a ball, burying her face into the fur of the plush toy. She had thought her life would be different with the Mukamis… and in a way it was, yet now she felt all alone again. Ruki was miles away even though he was just here with her, focused on solving a problem while Yuriko would have wanted to work on another.

But he didn’t kill Dad. He stopped. And… I can’t know if he has killed before. I can’t just assume things. It’s the wrong thing to do… But…

A sigh left Yuriko’s lips as she turned on her back. Maybe she should talk with Elizabeth about this. Would her friend understand her thoughts? 

I don’t want to leave… I’m not going back to living with Dad and I don’t have any other place. Ruki is all I have… and I don’t want anyone else, but this… Is he a killer?

Swallowing, Yuriko rolled to her other side, staring at the wall in front of her. What had she expected? Ruki had bitten her in a very early stage of their relationship… Well, before there had been any connection between them. This nightly world Yuriko had been pulled into was full of dangers, full of creatures whose morale wasn’t like humans’ but something much darker.

And now I truly am one of them. Was Dad right after all? Am I a monster? That blue fire… It appeared out of nowhere. I should talk with Yuuto about this. Maybe I should sleep since I don’t have anything to do now. At least then I can try to reach him… if he allows me to enter the In-between.

Yuriko closed her eyes but it took quite a while before she could calm herself down enough to fall asleep. Cuddling with her fox plushie she slowly sank into slumber and let her worries go for a little while.

Yuuto was on his feet the instant Yuriko arrived at the cliff. He let out a low growl but there was no aggressiveness in it. Yuriko inched closer, pressing her snout on his cheek. As she nuzzled him, her tense muscles started to relax and soothing warmth spread through her.

“Yuuto… my eyes changed… and there was fire… Blue fire.” Yuriko’s voice was a mere quivering whisper.

“Huh? That hasn’t happened before?” Yuuto poked Yuriko with his snout. She shook her head.

“Mom and Dad paid to a blood witch to seal the kitsune in me…” And when Yuriko started to talk there was no end to it. She told every detail she knew. For once, Yuuto sat in silence and listened to her with a serious expression on his foxy face.

“Well… shit…” Yuuto lay on the ground. Yuriko sighed and curled right next to him. “Founders, huh?”

“I don’t know much about them…”

“One of them visited the village some time ago. They are planning on something but I’m not in a high enough position to know what’s going on. They are better than vampires, not much, but at least they aren’t the reason we are in our current situation. Anyway, I’m not interested in that shit, I don’t care what they’re up to. I just want out and live with you, Little Sister.”

Yuriko nodded. “I just don’t know how to find the gate in the woods… or how to open it.”

“Turn into a fox and sniff your way there. There must be traces of the kitsune in there. I know some of us still use that gate.”

“How? How do I turn into a fox?”

“Haa… It should be your second nature, a natural thing to do. You simply need to want it and call out the fox in you. Imagine this being you’re now and bring it into reality. I know you can do it. If you can do it here, you can do it in the real world.”

Yuriko doubted it was that simple but Yuuto’s suggestion was at least something she could do. While Ruki kept searching for the answers elsewhere, Yuriko could do her own research. She could find her inner fox.

“Good little pup. Find your inner fox and use that damn vampire to help to fight your way to me. Then we solve all the other issues together.”

Yuriko was about to answer but suddenly she felt a pull and the In-between started to fade around her.

“Yuriko…”

Yawning, Yuriko opened her eyes. Everything was hazy and for a moment she thought that maybe the amber-yellow monster's eyes had appeared again. 

No… fox eyes. 

Those were the words both Ruki and Yuuto had used. Now the said vampire sat on the bed and held out Yuriko’s glasses for her. Slowly, she sat up, took the specs, and put them on her nose. The field of her vision came clearer. Ruki’s eyes were peaceful, yet unreadable.

“How are you feeling?” 

The question made Yuriko swallow. How could she even put everything into words? Her mind was still whirling.

“Haah, it was not a reasonable question.” Ruki brushed Yuriko’s cheek. The touch was featherlight, barely touch at all, yet it managed to send shivers down her spine. “We should talk about everything that happened.”

Yuriko stiffened but was able to nod. Ruki was right. They needed to discuss, otherwise, things wouldn’t move forward and this cold feeling of loneliness wouldn’t go away.

“It seems the kitsune in you is not as sealed as we thought.” Ruki took Yuriko’s hand. His fingers were as cold as ever, yet there was something calming in that chilling touch as his thumb caressed the back of her hand. 

"I… yes…" After talking with Yuuto, this was more than obvious, and now Yuriko knew what she should do. Yet, the how to do it part was something she needed to figure out with Yuuto’s vague advice. Her eyes and fire had appeared and then they had been gone again when she had woken up later after fainting.

"I wondered what the reason would be, so I contacted the blood witch again. She had not thought about it earlier but her theory is that I caused this by sucking your blood." Ruki met Yuriko’s eyes. 

The words made perfect sense. Of course, it was like this.

Yuriko nodded again. So, Ruki had sucked the magic out of her and now the kitsune in her was free once more.

“It was not assumed for you to make any contact with the supernatural after the sealing, so the witch did not take this into consideration. If this was not what you wished for yourself, I must apologize. I can simply hope that you will find the strength to forgive me this and other distress I have caused to you.”

“Ruki…” Yuriko swallowed. “You… you… I don’t care about sucking the magic out of my veins. Now, I can be the being I was supposed to be. I can save Yuuto by using my skills once I know how to turn into a fox…”

This time Ruki stayed silent, but his brows were tightly knitted together as if he didn’t truly like the idea. Yuriko pushed the thought aside.

“But… but… The other distress… Ruki, I know you are a vampire… and that you probably have killed before. I know this… and I accept this fact, though I wish not to know more about it. But… if you kill someone because of me… I can’t… I can’t have it… Please, don’t…”

Ruki took Yuriko’s hands, squeezing them with his cold ones. “I have seen your reaction and as your master, it is my duty to keep you happy.” He was silent for a moment again. “No. As your boyfriend, I should do that. I will not kill him but I will not allow him near you either, for he seems always hurt you. This is my promise to you, my angel.”

Yuriko did her best to blink away the tears. She could only hope that Ruki was honest with her. 

“I know you need time to think. Take all you want, I will wait until you can forgive me.”

Later that day Yuriko was sitting in the kitchen of the Mukami manor, drinking hot cocoa while reading Wuthering Heights. Suddenly, Azusa walked into the room and put an envelope right next to her mug. It had her name written over it with western characters but no address.

“That came… for you… Yuriko-san…”

Yuriko took the envelope in her hand and turned it over. She had no idea who even would write to her, not being able to remember when was the last time she had received a letter from someone.

Could it be from Mom? Would she be able to send a letter… and without an address?

“Thank you, Azusa-kun,” Yuriko mumbled, her eyes glued to the letter. 

“How are… you? Ruki has been… worried about… you.”

Lifting her gaze from the envelope, Yuriko tried to smile at Azusa. “Umh… I was a bit shocked about what he did… to my father… but I’m okay.”

“Ruki did the wrong… thing, but he meant… good. Yuriko-san… Ruki has changed… He was different when… we were still… doing our part… for that plan. But now Eve… has chosen her Adam… Ruki had no goal, no purpose… We all were lost… but I think it was the toughest for him. But he broke… all his own rules to get you…” 

Yuriko blinked. Azusa had never talked this much to her. She curled her fingers around the warm mug and nodded, letting the words sink in.

“Ruki wishes… not to lose you…Yuriko-san. So, please forgive him… We all see how happy… you can make him. And seeing that… makes me happy. Yuriko-san… stay by Ruki’s side.”

“I… I will. I simply need time to… sort out my thoughts. But I do love him.” Heat covered Yuriko’s face as the words left her lips. Azusa was the first one she had now confessed openly that she indeed loved Ruki. Elizabeth probably knew it but never before Yuriko had said it out loud to anyone else than Ruki himself. She squirmed in place. So embarrassing just confess the fact just like that. Better change the subject! “Umh! You know… Azusa-kun… I’ve already lived here for a while now, so please, don’t be so formal with me. You can use my given name only.”

As Azusa smiled it was like someone had brought the sun into the kitchen and pulled cinnamon rolls out of the oven. 

“Then… Yuriko-chan…” he said. “I feel… so happy…”

With that Azusa roamed out of the room, leaving Yuriko sitting at the table with a slightly open mouth. She shook her head slightly but couldn’t hide a smile. Finally, she pushed her mug aside and tore the envelope open. There was only one slice of paper inside full of tiny handwriting.

« Yuriko,

I wonder how you react to my letter... I'm sorry I can't say it in person... I am too weak. And I don't really have much time left... I am writing a letter to you to convey all the things I have not had time to say in person! Please read it.

I am leaving... Yes, I am leaving again... Even though my aunt says it's only for a while, but... I think it's for good. Please don't be sad! There's still a chance I could be wrong, right? I'll try to come back, too... And I won't be sad. Because I can't leave my friend here all alone.

I will begin by saying... I was very glad to meet you. I've told you before, but you've always seemed unattainable to me... It was as if you wouldn't accept me or push me away... I was afraid of that, so I stayed away. But I felt you were lonely. And I am very glad that we bumped into each other that day! Because I realized how wrong I was. You're a wonderful person, Yuri-Yuri! I'm sorry I was afraid of you at first. I'm glad that you and I became friends!

You've taught me a lot. You were fun to walk with, to go shopping... Your stories were always interesting, though you apologized for talking. But that's okay! I was glad you were sharing your knowledge with someone silly like me. Also, the sweets we tasted together were delicious!

You know, Yuri-Yuri... there's so much more I want to tell you... but I'm running out of room on paper. If we meet again, I'll be sure to say it out loud! And we will definitely meet again!

Please, love yourself more. I know you don't like yourself, but believe me, you are beautiful! I want you to believe it!

I don't know if you can wait for me, but... I wish you could. For me to come back to your class and have lunch together on the roof of the school. I'll be waiting! And I'll do anything to come back!

Elizabeth Virnien »

Yuriko read the letter three times before realizing what it was saying.

Elizabeth was leaving. 

Elizabeth was leaving Yuriko… like everyone else before her. Yuriko blinked as she stared at the words, reading them over and over again. Why? This was so unfair! She had finally gotten a friend for herself, a person who had been supposed to stay with her!

Yuriko remembered what Elizabeth had been saying earlier. But still, she hadn’t really believed this could happen. Her only friend was leaving her behind and it was unclear if Elizabeth could ever come back.

It wasn’t the same as before but… still… Elizabeth was gone. 

I can’t keep anyone, right? Maybe this is a curse set upon me…

The words blurred in front of Yuriko’s eyes as a couple of tears wetted the paper. She gasped and shivered. Was everything coming grumbling down? Why… She had thought her life would be better but… She wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her hand but the tears didn’t stop from falling. She took off her glasses and read Elizabeth’s letter one more time.

It’s true. She really went away… What if Ruki will leave one day too? I can’t… I can’t lose people around me again… Why does everyone always leave?

“Yuriko?” Cold arms wrapped Yuriko in the cocoon against Ruki’s chest. She trembled as her back pressed on him. The tears ran down her cheeks as if someone had opened a dam.

Ruki stroked Yuriko’s back with one hand as she nudged him. With the other, he picked up the letter and lifted it, while her sobbing was the only sound in the kitchen.

“Ruki… I… I can’t… go on like this. Everyone always… always leaves me…”

“Yuriko…” Ruki cupped her cheeks while still holding the letter in his fingers. He forced her head up, meeting her fuzzy gaze. “I am sorry what happened with Elizabeth. It is not in my power to change it but I promise you this; I will not leave you. I will stay by your side always and never let go of you. I do anything to keep you. You are mine. Forever.”

Forever.

That was the vow Yuriko needed. For that, she would do anything as well.

Was this meant to be? I think it was. If your love is willing to do anything for you, then it is true love, right? I believe so. No matter the darkness around, love will always win. It has to win. Happiness can be found in the spark of joy, we share together. My happiness is in this darkness. So, I will embrace it fully. My place is next to this vampire I fell for. I have given myself to him. Officially now. And nothing has ever felt so right.

A/N: Alright... this is it for Maniac. Or not... I'm going to publish the e-book version later and there will be a special story from Ruki's point of view, so look forward to that! And there will be an uncensored CG edit on the PDF version. So, that's also something to look forward to!

Thanks: I couldn't have made it this far on my own, so I want to share a few thank yous once more.

💙 @ruki-mukami-dl for all the help I have gotten. You talked with me about the tough parts and helped me work on some scenes. Not only that, but you also went through Ruki's actions and words, guiding me through the process. I'm very grateful for that; it gave me the courage to write. So, thank you, honey 🫂

💙 @elizabeth-virnien for all the help too. You offered your guidance with several characters in the story and allowed me to write one of yours which is a great honor. I hope you are satisfied with how I ended up writing Eli's parts of Maniac. I look forward to her appearance in Ecstasy. Thank you so much, sweetie 🫂

💙 Dami for the help with Shin. It was very important to go through his character with you and I'm very grateful for your help. Thank you, dear 🫂

💙 @best-mukami for the help with Kou. It was great that you were willing to check out his parts. Thank you so much! 🫂

💙 @nalia-wagner-rp for allowing me to write your character into the story and checking out her parts for me. That was a great honor and I look forward to Nalia's next appearance later~ Thank you🫂

💙 @cutelih for making the CG edits for me. Those are awesome! Thank you 🫂

💙 @dlyuiannii for making an awesome commission art of Ruki and Yuriko. I didn't think about it when I commissioned it but it suits so well for Maniac. thank you 🫂

And thank you if you read this far! The story only fully comes alive when it's read. Then it can live on in the minds of its readers. So, I'm very grateful if you followed me all the way here.

💙 Thank you! 💙

[edensrose]

Could you do like a oneshot of kurama flying holding his s/o tightly and flying in the night sky with his wings

❝ 𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐬 — 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐀 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

Coming right up

genre: fluff 

includes: f. reader | boyfriend Kurama | soft Kurama | kisses | self doubt | lovey dovey

words: 1195

“How silly could she be? Your boyfriend leaves for like what, a month, and you start getting all smoochy with your best friend?’’

“He did break up with her, after all.’’ 

“But he obviously did it to protect her!’’

As you walk through the night, chilled breezes hit your face and urge you to press your cheek into the warmth of your boyfriend’s arm who proceeds on his tangent regarding the movie you sat through. Brunette strands waver, accompanied by glinting, chocolate eyes that hide behind shaded lenses - such was the life of an idol, having to conceal your identity as you trek down the street. Kurama Shinjirou was no stranger to this custom. 

“Remind me why I brought you out for this again?’’ Your satire-filled deride prompts Kurama to roll his eyes to the stary sky. “All I’m saying is, if I were in his position I wouldn’t be too pleased about you getting all frisky with your werewolf best friend.’’ An impish air settles between you. “I don’t have a werewolf best friend. I have a fox, does that count?’’ 

Kurama’s eyes bulge, so much so that you have to hold back a bark of laughter. “Especially that!” The look of betrayal that takes over his defined features is priceless, as if you had committed the highest of treasons. “What? You did say; if you were in his shoes, so I’m putting myself in hers.’’ White flashes within the darkness of night as a grin overtakes your lips. “I didn’t expect you to mention that damn fox, though.’’ 

Kurama exhales through his nose, releasing a brief burst of condensation into the crisp atmosphere. It’s entertaining to witness how worked-up he becomes at the naming of the particular yokai. 

‘Truly, how much of a drama king are you?’ 

Thoughts spiral around your mind. Kurama Shinjirou, idol and teen-heartthrob; here he was whisking you off to the cinema, walking you home with his lean, pale fingers intertwining yours. How did you do it, Y/N? How did you sate such a womanizer? Such a question is shrouded in mystery for even the likes of you, the one who conducted such a miracle. To this day you will never be able to fathom how the tengu fell head over heels for you. Were you some form of sorceress? Had you accidentally cast a spell over his heart? Whatever the case…

He was yours, 

and you were his. 

“Y/N?’’ 

The smooth, angelic voice rips you from your world of wonder. Wordlessly, your gaze shifts from the sidewalk and to his moonlit face. “Penny for your thoughts?’’ A curious grin curls onto Kurama’s lips, his long-nailed finger tapping against your temple. “It’s nothing,’’ you assure. Yet, the tengu’s brow raises, likely unconvinced. “Well, it obviously isn’t nothing.’’ An elbow prods at your side as if beckoning you to spill the beans. “Haven’t you heard that curiosity killed the cat?’’ “Good thing I’m a yokai then, hmm?” Now it is your turn to roll your eyes. You swore Kurama’s wit rivalled even the talent of his voice. Instead of answering him, you opt for turning your attention towards the brick-layered path. The last thing you wish to do is unnerve your boyfriend with your many woes. 

Silence. A heavy sheet of hush sets amongst you, the short gusts of gale only adding to the sudden lack of warmth. It appears the yokai takes your hesitance into account and leaves you be. 

That is until...

An arm hooks around your body and tugs you closer, the other dipping against the crux of your knees and scooping you with ease as if you were nothing but a feeble feather. The sound of wind snapping echo, prompting your eyes to mimic that of saucers and scramble to discover if your deduction was true. 

“Kura-’’ 

Fingers curl into the viscose fabric of his white collared shirt as the feeling of numbness spreads throughout your legs. A burst of butterflies to your stomach, a breath of air battering from the depths of your lungs accompanied by the banging of your heart against your ribcage. 

“Kurama!”

You make the mistake of glancing down at the ground that now waves goodbye as a distance grows from it, this only encourages you to cling onto the tengu further with the sharpest of gasps. “Wh-What are you doing!?’’ His features now blessed entirely by the moonlight, your breath is taken away once you face him. Sepia hues reflect the glimmering stars that dance around the both of you, accompanied by loose strands of brunette fluttering in the faint midnight breeze. His wings, widely spread, shimmer with a silvery gleam that compliments the ebony quills so stunningly. 

“Mind telling me now?’’ An iconic grin presents itself and brings a flush to your cheeks. Have you a choice at this point? With the way his gaze falls upon you? The idol was tenacious, you’d give him that. 

You lower your view. “I thought how of how a man like you fell for me.’’ The admittance leaves either of you stunned. “After all, there were vast choices. Your sea of fans, coworkers, classmates. Yet you went along with someone who you met behind a coffee shop counter?’’ A thin line presses between your lips for a second. “I suppose you could say I’m lucky, even so, the thought baffles me.’’ 

The increasing sea of silence sends your stomach into an anxious coil. Should you have held your tongue? Made something up, perhaps? After all, you had never before expressed such feelings to him. “Kurama,’’ you sigh. “Forget I said any-’’

Warmth cupping the back of your head takes you by surprise, however, nothing in comparison to the shock you experience when smooth, feverish lips meet yours. The exchange is that of burning passion and contrast of gentle tenderness. Kurama kisses you as if you’re leaving, holds you as if you’ll disappear into the starry sky. Any uncertainty washes away. Your lips mould so perfectly together as if you were made for one another. 

No,

you were.

At that moment you are convinced the man of whose arms you lay, who embraces you so affectionately. You are convinced that Kurama Shinjirou is meant to be yours. 

He parts from you, only an inch, as if you would shatter if he moves swiftly. You did not even realise when your arms snaked around his neck, yet they were there - ensuring he stays right there, foreheads touching and eyes locking. You do not mind how he dips you, allowing the moony glow to shine on your face, instead, you focus on him. “You ask how could this have happened…’’ he breaths. 

“My only reason is you.’’ 

Such words have you taken aback. In one last sliver of speculation, you scan his face for any form of mendacity. What you find brings tears to your eyes. 

Love. 

Undeniable, inexplicable…

Love. 

You trace your left hand to his cheek,  thumb tracing over his pale skin. “I’m yours, Kurama…’’ The ends of his lips curl, displaying an affectionate smile. His head turns and allows him to place a peck upon your hand. 

“As I am yours.’’