#about a couple decades ago
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earned the privilege of letting my beard grow back in over the holidays BRICK BY BRICK by coming out to my mom who immediately outed me to the rest of the family in excitement (including my grandpa who about years and years ago put my aunt through a ritual cleansing coz she was dating another woman)
#random#also her outing me happened a couple years ago and luckily everything turned out to be#alright#surprisingly even my grandpa was okay with it but i guess he did his whole growing from his mistakes#about a couple decades ago#probably because he has two lesbian granddaughters and a trans grandson now#my aunt and him are on speaking terms again as well and although granted it's a bit distant they're getting along#and hats off to her MAN i would have torched all bridges to the GROUND in her place#similarly wasn't happy about what my mom did either things got REAL icy for a while
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many people are afraid to be real lovers. dan and phil are not
#trying to decide whether I should elaborate or not#yes they’re friends soulmates turtles ranch everlasting pieces of furniture#but they are also lovers#they love each other#and that is real and it is beautiful how they’ve come to accept that they can unashamedly and openly love each other#it’s like when people say we don’t think of their content as couples content#bc they call themselves a couple of besties for the beautiful thing called the bit#but. they are a couple fr#if you asked me years ago I would think it’s so cringe to spend all your time with one person and be attached at the hip with them#but love can be so beautiful. i desire love and companionship#there’s nothing wrong with that and dnp have shown me how safe and comfortable and loving a relationship can be#not to be parasocial but sometimes I spiral thinking about the fact that I’m a normal person and will never be one half of a duo#living out their fun rich silly happy dream lives together after 15 years together#but like I’m a normal person. that will never happen#and that’s okay because love exists in other forms#this world is full of beautiful love stories#theirs just happens to be one that has been at the forefront of my mind for a decade#sorry for being weird!#yapping in the tags#dnp#dan and phil#phan#my thots
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isn't it crazy that varric died not having gotten over bianca
#like. the embodiment of his connection to bianca gets destroyed and varric dies only minutes later#theres something really poetic about that#you know old couples where both die quickly after the first person dies#this feels like that but wrong. twisted. as if he couldnt live without bianca#what he had of bianca at least! bc it wasnt the real bianca it was something he had of her from decades ago that hes been holding on to#while the real bianca had been changing through her life probably#i remember when the first 20 minutes of the game came out and some people were so happy that varric HAS to get over bianca now that#the crossbow was destroyed#but no of course not#the exact thing that destroyed his only connection to bianca killed him mere minutes later#da#datv#varric tethras#nett plays datv#veilguard spoilers#datv spoilers#da meta#dragon age
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tell me what you are & what you need
#shoutout to remembering i sketched this Portrait a couple of weeks ago#this [drawing mostly from memory] walked so that [that more recent but previous drawing mostly from memory] could walk a little faster?#i sure recall having trouble getting this going at all until i was like#''just draw the character you've drawn a thousand times the past half decade; But Different :)'' lol#i Will be drawing any character i'm extra [!!] abt to draw at all with the classic <:c or :o or c: expressions ten zillion times thank you#bruno madrigal#encanto 2021#his hair is so voluminous in my mind evidently lol. not all that inaccurate but i just go for it#i mean who knows what happens once his haircare gets to become a lot more elaborate / customized. anything can happen#another shoutout to Misheard Lyrics But I Like Them Better while thinking about bruno (& some queer somethingship for him)#wait lol. the [what you need] after i was saying all that about ''what does one mean what does he Need'' lol like. v much on that note....#scapegoated outcast Weirdo with so much loving focus from canon You Are A Treasure of this world
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Lot of details here that I forgot.
- Chang Ping wasn't literally the only Chang left, there were 'a few family members' with him.
- Chang Ping is said to be the head of the clan at the time of the Chang massacre. This is probably where the semi common headcanon that Chang Ci'an was already dead by then comes from. Also, since Chang Ping is referred to as a fairly young and inexperienced cultivator, it would be reasonable to guess that Chang Ci'an hadn't been dead for very long. Rip to XY for missing the window of opportunity on his primary target lol (tho it's not like we know how he may have felt abt it, if true- he's still described as 'quite self-satisfied' and this is all just conjecture)
- Xiao Xingchen was able to find out about Xue Yang's grudge against the Changs seemingly just by asking around on the street. Guess XY was out there yapping LOL (Not about the actual cause tho, nooo, that might imply he has actual vulnerabilities)
- I knew he was definitely a teenager at the time of the massacre in novel canon, and I remembered the line that said he was well-known as a menace by 15, but I forgot it was worded in such a way that strongly suggests 15 is being given as his age for when he killed the Changs. Thought it was more ambiguous. Ough
- Xue Yang fresh off his revenge bender still has enough energy to be happily causing trouble 3 provinces over, not even trying to hide in the slightest. What's a good chaser to achieving your long planned revenge? Why, more chaos of course!!!
#yeahhh that's my baby boy alright🙄#once again thinking fondly on the amt of feral teenager related headaches being suffered by jin guangyao#aphelion.txt#mdzs#xy#xxc#xue yang#trying to calculate the timeline here and realizing that i may have fucked up while figuring out#the timeline for kmsa LOL#i mean it's all rather nebulous in true mdzs style but#if the chang massacre was 10 years before wwx's resurrection#and xy was 15 then#that means he would've been 12 when wwx died#and in kmsa i have him at 14 at the time of wwx's death#but WHATEVERRR i fudged the timeline in a couple of places already. like intentionally rather than accidentally#so i can live w it ig#Also xxc would be most likely 19 at this time#since he descended the mountain at 17 and that was 12 years ago. so 10 years ago = 19#of course this is assuming they did give the hard date of 'massacre was 10 years ago'#hold on a min#edit: it says 'about a decade ago' so there is a little bit of wiggle room actually
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@horsetailcurlers2 and i finally finished the magicians the other day and though i do think the show shouldve ended differently and really should have been different from like s4e12 onward, i think with the current ending it just doesnt make thematic sense for eliot and alice to be where they are
like somehow eliot has tied himself down to brakebills which admittedly the physical cottage is his safe space or whatever but on the whole feels like hes not doing what he should be doing in the grand scheme of his character, (in terms of like tethering himself to a place where he was never actually himself and tethering himself to anywhere in general but i digress) like he should be helping build new fillory!! him and margo and josh and fen should be together and i feel like that was just thrown away for alice's self discovery or whatever (like cmon weve seen what the healers in the magical world can do, youre telling me broken fingers trumps missing fingers in terms of spellcasting??) it would also help on his growth, showing that although fillory kindve sucks and he definitely does not want to run it, it is still his home now and making sure its okay?? well thats been his goal fo a while even without being high king (also him naming margo high king margo the creator would have been way more moving than fen doing it im sorry)
whereas alice herself would have shown major growth if she were to be with the library or at brakebills, showing that she finally understands the importance of not just hoarding knowledge but sharing it (if she were a professor at brakebills) or working towards sharing it (leading the library in a way that further goes with that view shes been working on getting for the past idk four seasons???)
it also would have furthered both of their connections to quentin, with alice working with brakebills and eliot in fillory, which were where both of their connections to him really flourished and grew and how they could stay connected to him despite it all
#eliot waugh#alice quinn#never accuse me of being an alice quinn lover btw#but it would have suited her character and growth better to be at brakebills#the magicians#am i making posts about a show that ended almost half a decade ago??? yeah yeah i sm#k mumbles#idk there was nothing the finale that hit that hard and the entire fifth season kindve fell flat beyond the first couple episodes#where it felt way more like the first season and you could see the potential happening#but where it went was iffy at best lmao#i do like how penny and julia got together though i unexpectedly liked them a lot#and though i wish penny had kept his powers#because suddenly its something that can be taken from him when it was the only thing working when everything else was fucked???#i think where they ended was pretty satisfying#margo hanson#julia wicker#penny adiyodi#kady orloff diaz#josh hoberman#quentin coldwater
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the characters that say "something something people are only puzzles to house" should immediately arrested or at least some karmic justice on the show. he CARES about them. he CARES about his patients and doesn't want them to die when they have to option to LIVE.
#02x18#yeah its abt the gf who wants to break up with the gf thats saving her life#just bc house doesnt go about it in a cameron way doesnt mean house wants to at the very least have an easily prevented death#on his mind#i guess its in line for cameron to say it but for WILSON (a couple episodes ago) who's supposedly known him a decade and some?#thats pretty ooc ....#house md#gregory house#allison cameron#james wilson#liveblog#posts
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“Jesus—seriously, Tim?” Alex groaned as he turned the corner.
“What? We’re on break.” Tim adjusted his posture against the wall. He took the cigarette out of his mouth to speak, already preparing for the argument about to come.
“Still, I don’t want you fucking smoking those,” he glanced towards Tim’s hand. “It’s gonna mess with your voice, we’re all going to have to smell it the entire shoot, and I don’t want you coughing in the middle of takes. Not more than you already do.”
“You still have me smoke during scenes, remember?”
Tim could’ve sworn they had this conversation ten times over. He never really saw the problem since he had to relight the same goddamn cigarette before every take. Might as well put it to good use. No one else has complained about it yet.
“Yeah-well, I’m not asking you to smoke the whole pack. And it’s only for when the cameras on. It’s not like you have to continue.”
“I don’t see anyone complaining out here,” he gestured towards the open and empty park. No one else was there other than Tim, Alex, and a couple others filming, and he was sure that the smell could travel that far. “You didn’t even care until you saw me doing it.”
“That doesn’t fucking matter, I shouldn’t hav—” Alex started before a gust of smoke hit his face.
Tim knew it was immature, obviously. But if he had to go through this exact argument again, he would’ve lost his mind.
Alex opened his mouth to start some kind of retaliation, but nothing came out other than a few stutters. The gears turning in his head were practically audible. All the while, Tim could still see red blooming underneath his hair and glasses.
“Just-uh. Hurry up and come back before the break ends, alright?” Alex didn’t wait for an answer before storming off back to the main group.
#thinking about their ‘married couple who should’ve divorced decades ago’ arguments forever and always#tim wright#alex kralie#timlex#this is very bad but i am tired of looking at it
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Adaptations are not even overwhelming pro-DracMina tbh. 🤷🏼♀️If you look at screen adaptations aka biggest widespread media type of adaptations most recent adaptation 2020 Netflix/BBC by Mofftiss had no DracMina at all. Also TV adaptations like 2002 and BBC 2006 ones had no DracMina as in both these adaptations Mina didn’t have any real genuine interest in Dracula and was his victim. 2012 movie by Argento had no DracMina either cause Drac’s interest in Mina was also completely one-sided and Mina wasn’t into him at all. The only recent example of DracMina was 2013 TV series - so 11 years ago. Before that both DracMina movies are 1979 and 1992 ones respectively- so 45 and 32 years ago.
Like, can we even say that adaptations are extremely pro-DracMina if within 1922–2024 we got only 3 screen DracMina adaptations, and two of them are ancient and most likely older than people who complain about DracMina shippers? Even if we want to count non-screen stuff then Wildhorn’s musical is also 20 years old as it premiered and flopped on Broadway in 2004. So, like 🤷🏼♀️
Agreed in the sense that I think that people really, really just....don't think about adaptations besides Coppola's, which gives a VERY slanted view. To my knowledge, we have:
Love at First Bite (1979), which is (1) a parody and (2) set in the modern day, with the modern character as Mina's reincarnation. Notable for being one of the earlier adaptations, but it's barely, *barely* Dracmina.
Drakula - The Hungarian musical, which...I can guarantee that unless the people complaining about this know about Hungarian musical theatre, they're unlikely to know about.
Dracula: The Musical (2010, not the other one) - Replace "Hungarian" with "Swedish."
Lovers of the Night, see above, but "was never released to mass distribution" next to "Swedish."
Dracula, l'amour plus fort que la mort - Replace the above for "French musical flop."
Dracula, el Musical - Replace the above with "Argentinian."
Wildhorn
The 2013 adaptation that most people watch for Katie McGrath as Lucy.
*Loosely* again counting the 1979 movie, because Lucy is taking the role of Mina there.
Bram Stoker's Dracula which....okay, yeah. That's the one most people know.
Fine, for books, I'm including Dracula: The Undead though I don't think any of us actually claim it because it's the "authorized" sequel. (Dacre Stoker when I catch you...)
Since I included Dracula: The Undead, I'm also going to have to include The Dracula Tapes. (1975.)
Dracula 3D - Fine, I'm adding it in.
Dracula: A Love Tale (2025), which looks like it's going to do this. And you know what? The vampirefuckers have earned this, please let it be less sexist about it than Coppola. I hope that it's every bit of pulpy, overly romanticized goodness that I love. I hope they fuck on screen.
Nosferatu - From the script leaks, which. Again. What I'm seeing is very much up my alley, including the terms "horrific union." Peter Eggers, the man that you are. The icon.
Dracula - Entre L'Amour et la Mort - Mixed, but she chooses Jonathan in the end and Drac commits suicide.
Dracula: A Chamber Musical - See above, she chooses Jonathan (again, WHY?) (I'm not commenting on Jonathan in the novel, I'm commenting on the fact that most of these Jonathans have the consistency of bland milk.)
Dracula Untold - In the loosest possible way because there is a woman named "Mina" at the very, very, very end in the modern day. Though it only barely qualifies as a Dracula adaptation.
Meanwhile, for adaptations that haven't (trying to include adaptations that at least very loosely adapt the book, or that have familiar characters/plot arcs, even if that is just "area warlord loses his wife and gets really really mad about it for several centuries", so no Hotel Translyvania...which also isn't Dracmina):
As you said, the 2020.
Dracula (Czech musical) -- This musical was doing many, many things, but this was not one of them.
Last Voyage of the Demeter - I mean. Obviously.
Renfield - See above.
Count Dracula (1977) - Nope
Nosferatu - Nope.
1930s Dracula - Also no.
1958 - He preys on her, but nope. Decidedly not mutual.
Dracula A.D. 1972 - Nope.
Dracula 2006 - Nope.
Dracula 2002 miniseries - He tries to seduce her, sure, and then she shanks him. This is not a doe-eyed Mina swooning over a bad boy.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1974) - Nope, and makes LUCY the reincarnation of his wife.
Blacula - ...no. The reincarnated love plot is given to Mamuwalde, whose wife Dracula killed. Decidedly unromanticized.
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - Nope. (I'd prefer it to whatever the fuck was going on with Tom Sawyer.)
Count Dracula (1970) - No (even though I don't understand when Dracula is being played by CHRISTOPHER LEE--who was saying that? It wasn't me, I didn't say anything.)
Count Dracula's Great Love - With a name like that, it HAS to be Dracmina, right, because who else could it be--an OC. They...had an OC. (Arguably Mina is an OC in some of the above as well, but the point stands: not Dracmina.)
The one "West End" Dracula concept album from 2006 that never made it to the West End.
Penny Dreadful - I mean, she gets vamped, but it's hardly a star crossed epic romance.
Dracula: Mina's Reckoning (2023)- Nope. She literally says "I do not exist tae serve onybiddy. I winted whit you had. I’d rather gie up my life than be like you."
Dracula 2000 - Insofar as Mary loosely resembles Mina...no.
Hellsing - No. He might have desired her, but it clearly wasn't more than that and I think the general consensus is he coerced her.
Mina and the Count - Given that Mina is seven and they're best friends NO. They did the 1980s spinoff animated series trend of making villains and heroes friends.
Drakula İstanbul'da - He has some kind of fixation on her, but nope.
And then there's Dracula: The Dark Prince where....yes. And no. And yes. And no. And yes. And--
What I'll point out is that while it looks like I have a lot listed for "Dracmina", a lot of these are pieces of media that are INCREDIBLY obscure to an Anglo-American audience, so most of the people complaining about Dracmina would not be aware of them. They are, likewise, also musicals, because (1) that's my area of expertise and (2) I think musicals lend themselves very well to the kind of heightened gothic romantic atmosphere that people are looking for with a Dracmina bent on Dracula. All told, when we strike off non-English media AND musicals save for the Wildhorn, which can stay, the lack of Dracmina in most widely available Dracula adaptations is notable (especially when you ALSO factor in the various Hammer Horror films where Dracula appears and Mina doesn't.) I'll ALSO point out that actually...most of the films that do it come from *the 1970s* (aka "contrary to popular belief, Coppola wasn't the first", or even the first to do the dead wife plot), whereas post-2013, most Dracula adaptations we've gotten in the Anglosphere have revolved around monstrous vampires. (The Invitation, Last Voyage of the Demeter, Renfield, etc.), perhaps as a reaction against Twilight and its subsequent oversaturation of the vampire market. (Though, it's intriguing because I don't think that Twilight...actually DID impact the number of Dracula or Dracmina adaptations, even in its heydey when people were trying to cash in.)
#i absolutely KNOW I've missed a couple on both sides#including a rather strange musical synopsis I read over a decade ago#but the POINT IS#when you don't consider 'thing that only about ten people in the Anglo-American world know about'#since that is overwhelmingly the demographic complaining#...it's. Well. Very clear that people are mainly complaining about Coppola#which....is fine. *I* don't like aspects of the Coppola#but I DO want the vampirefucking adaptation that also respects women of my dreams#we see dracula being drawn to mina or preying on her#but this idea of adaptation Mina's throwing themselves into his arms and leaving their husbands behind...doesn't actually reflect reality
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Shadows of Fear: Did You Lock Up? (1.1, Thames, 1970)
"And they didn't make much mess?"
"No, not really. They forced that door. Smashed the cabinet, slashed a sofa. And kicked a hole in the bedroom door."
"Ah. Big mistake."
"What is?"
"Never lock inside doors. Anything you can to keep them out - but when they're in, let 'em get on with it."
"I'll remember."
#shadows of fear#single play#roger marshall#1970#classic tv#thames#kim mills#michael craig#gwen watford#ray smith#mark mcmanus#malcolm kaye#charles leno#having come to something of a premature pause in my New Scotland Yard watch (the first ep of series 3 isn't on the YT playlist I've been#using and is proving quite tricky to get ahold of) i thought I'd revisit this brief lived anthology series for the creepy season. i first#watched this about 10 years ago and my memories of it are scant to say the least‚ so it seemed like good viewing for the season#the production history of SoF is lost in the mists of time (unless someone out there wishes to enlighten me?); this first episode was shown#in June of 1970‚ but the rest didn't follow until January of the following year; probably this acted as a sort of pilot to gauge viewer#reactions to another vaguely horrorish anthology series (the previous decade had been ripe with them‚ tho we rarely see their like today)#and then there's the odd case of the final ep‚ shown almost 2 years after the series ended and running to half the length (and generally#feeling like an entirely different format) but I'll come to that when (and if) i get to the episode itself. this debut ep is... well it's#fine. i was excited to see Marshall's name in the opening credits‚ one of the most dependable of old tv writers and I'd quite forgotten he#contributed to this show. but the issue here is simply one of length. the plot is solid‚ a suitably grotty little tale of a family man's#mounting obsession with the burglars who broke into his home. it would make a good ep of Tales of Unease (shortly to begin on Thames'#sister broadcaster LWT) or a few years later as an episode of Tales of the Unexpected; both being 25 minute shows. but this clocks in at#close to 50 mins and there isn't really enough to it to sustain that longer running time‚ leaving it feeling a little stretched thin and#flimsy. a shame‚ because Craig and Watford are putting in excellent performances as the middle class couple whose reactions to the burglary#slowly shift as time passes (he goes from prosaic acceptance to fixated malice‚ she from shocked indignation to making peace with it all)#no big surprises in where the play is headed or how it plays out‚ but that's often the case with these things; it's often just as much#about the horrible foreknowledge of what must come than some shocking twist‚ and this plays it about right. it's just too long is all.
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https://twitter.com/xrckdyou/status/1777312221044834377
The man could not be more clear. And he is so incredibly kind about it despite the fact it obviously bothers him for the reasons he says and likely others. So sad the people who want to “free him” are those keeping him in a box.
Thanks for this! I'd love to see the whole thing, but it's been harder to get full interviews this go round (that's on me, gotta dig, don't have time). That said, I did a quick lurk around twitter and tumblr, and jesusssssssssssss, he said what he said and was pretty clear, even resigned about it, and yet! You either get variations of a) wahh, he's gaslighting us again (which, lmao, nope) or b) well, he didn't deny it, LOLZ, #married. When I tell you he resents his fans, dot dot dot, oof, yeah, it's honestly no wonder
#i think my favorite is the people who 'don't understand' why he's saying this and how it doesn't 'help him'#idk maybe he doesn't want people speculating about his private life? even--ESPECIALLY--the so-called supportive ones?#i have my own UO and it's that a couple of things can be true that people can't/won't get--maybe just maybe larry was realTM a decade ago#and it ain't real now#or maybe it's a hot mess month to month and it causes him quite a bit of pain actually#and what's to deny in that scenario? why does he have to pick a scab to feed these demons? why does he OWE anyone that?#people scream how they want the truth but in reality? no they do not!#because it comes back to the same old same old: how 'supportive' is the larry fanbase if/when one of them comes out and says pointblank:#yeah we were a thing but that was a decade ago and we've moved on#thanks for respecting our privacy in this difficult time 10 years later!#it won't happen because it can't and won't matter to the base#people will STILL scream they're married etc
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18, 28, 48?
18. would've could've should've - taylor swift
28. get out of my house - miya folick
48. good grief - dessa
#waveridden.ask#shadowofmoths#DID YOU KNOW. that in the song Would've Could've Should've by taylor swift. she says the titular phrase a couple times#and the bulk of the song is 'if X then i would've/could've done Y' but the word should've doesn't appear outside of when she says the full#phrase. and this is BECAUSE. it is a song about a noteworthy relationship she had well over a decade ago#and following that relationship she wrote a very iconic breakup song (dear john) where she repeatedly says. should've known.#so she already has all of the should've-s. somewhere else!#ykw i want this in the tag#swiftie tag
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Was going to try and get a writing snip posted today, but am dealing with some emotional stuff so it's starting to look unlikely. If I don't end up posting today, maybe Wednesday? Hope everyone's having a good weekend. <3
#personal#I had a chat earlier about some of the guys I went on some dates with like a decade ago#and we were talking about this guy who was incredibly sweet--he was in his 80s and his health was bad#his wife had died a few years before and his kids didn't really visit him often--I think he just liked having someone different to talk to?#and...yeah the chat made me realise that between his health and his age he's probably not alive anymore?#and I can't really remember his name so I don't have a way to check in on him or contact his kids#also been struggling with an uptick in depression for the last 6 weeks so this is kinda hitting me more than I thought it would#I'll be fine; I just need to be sad for a couple days I guess
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I didn't think I'd be upset at mema's passing ... she's been unwell since I was born and I never got to know her very well past my teens.
but the moment I mentioned it to my husband this morning, suddenly I got really choked up and started crying. it genuinely confused me. sat there trying to talk and I couldn't get words past the rock in my throat. even more shocked when I felt tears in my eyes.
#[static]#i dont cry that much and a decade+ ago I came to terms that I'd never have blood family (beyond my mom and brother)#and i think i used to think that that meant that i'd never get upset about it if i came to terms with it ...#i think it just means that i acknowledge it as truth and it's allowed to hurt when it comes up#it hurts me to know that my mom will never get to see her mom again#and that a couple of years ago mema told mom to stop contacting her and i'll never know why#anyways im gonna be grappling with those feelings for a bit which BLOWS i hate having to dredge up stuff like this that I want buried
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i had the day off so i spent like five hours doing budgeting. jesus fuck why is everything so expensive
#i'd need to make over double of what i'm making now to be able to live on my own#either a.) without a car + with a roommate somewhere near the city#which means i'd have to learn to use the public transport here. i've looked into it and none of the bus lines go beyond a very limited part#of the metro area so i'd need to find work somewhere within there.#or b.) with a car + renting on my own somewhere further out. the commute would be ass and the car maintenance even assier#thing is i really‚ really need to figure this out because i NEED to get out of this house for good#after i graduate i cannot land back in here.#there's this really cute girl i met at the club last month and we've been talking a lot and i'd love to be with her and i know she would to#but she's trans and my parents would legit throw me out of the house if they found out#and she doesn't deserve to be hidden‚ y'know? i want to be able to tell everyone i know and care about about us#but i just can't do that right now. and i hate the thought of missing out on relationships and stifling myself like this out of fear#i talk a big game sometimes but i'm TERRIFIED of the people and the things i've noticed i'm attracted and drawn to#because i know what my parents say about 'those' people. i've heard every mean-spirited‚ downright disgusted thing they've said#and for all the smiles and the hugs my family throws my way i know what they are. i've seen the treatment they give queer family members.#i have an uncle who didn't speak to his daughter for almost a decade when she came out as a lesbian#it was only a couple years ago that they started to reconnect and she can't even bring her partner to family gatherings because it makes#people 'uncomfortable'#i'm sorry i'm rambling at this point but i just wish things would get a little easier. instead i feel all this pressure and everything#getting harder#nothing left to do except put on my big boy pants i guess#sansgwilie
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people love to come at kaidan and ash for comparing shepard to a husk on the mission on mars in me3 and yeah there's no point of denying that they put it in a very tone-deaf way but. what they witness here is genuinely terrifying from their point of view.
shepard is a person they care about. they're their commander, in some cases a friend or a lover, someone they look up to. and they died. and they were brought back by the terrorist organization that's known for its inhuman experiments. and now it uses reaper technology and makes husks out of its own people. from kaidan and ash's perspectives this is literally "came back wrong" scenario. they look at this cerberus soldier with innatural pale face full of reaper implants and then at shepard and can't help but wonder if there's a ticking bomb somewhere inside them. if one day they'll wake up and say there's no point to fight the reapers and look at their crew with shallow blue eyes.
like. they don't intend to dehumanize shepard. they're fucking terrified of the possibility that shepard has already been dehumanized by the people who recovered their dead body to rebuild it and ressurect them in secret for the goals of an indoctrinated man
#once again. that was rude. all of them also had witnessed a reaper invasion a couple of hours ago#and now they found out that the organization that brought shepard back to life literally produces soldiers for the reaper army! great!#this is one of the cases of unexplored potential of body horror that comes as a set with being rebuilt after suffocating in space#but this time from another character's perspective#and oh boy their concerns aren't that unreasonable if you think about it#for some reason fandom tends to present it like virmire survivor just wants to pick a fight with shepard and hurt them#but oh my god. why do we all act like we're talking about children and not soldiers in the middle of a war#soldiers who are known as experienced disciplined and obedient mind you. believe me they know it's not the time to be petty#they act like that because cerberus is a direct threat to humanity at this point#and there's a huge possibility that shepard may not be aware that cerberus did smth really nasty to them. because yk. indoctrination#i know people probably talked about this for decade now. but it still pisses me off a bit#kaidan alenko#ashley williams#mass effect
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