#i remember when the first 20 minutes of the game came out and some people were so happy that varric HAS to get over bianca now that

[ambrosykim]

isn't it crazy that varric died not having gotten over bianca

[al-luviec]

I ran out of tag space but oomf had some good notes

smthn easy for today (sorry)

[slitherpunk]

games i liked in 2023 (And Other)

I like games ! You know that ?! and I played a lot 2023! and I liked a lot :). They aren't in any specific order, it's just a little highlight of games that stood out to me this year. I've attempted to write a few thoughts on each so I hope take a look. I wrote playtimes for some also but that is very subjective.

-Ones that actually came out 2023-

Lunacid https://store.steampowered.com/app/1745510/Lunacid/ I think I mentioned enjoying this in 2022 but it officially released so I can say it was one of my favorite games in 2023 :3! I like to feel around this game's walls for secrets. I like the npcs that are full of hope and whimsy despite the bleakness of its world. Chill and occasionally spooky first person dungeon crawling around moody caverns and ruins varying from underground forests to vampire castles and blood lake. (Blood lake!!!! Lake of blood!!! Big creature there.) Lots of fun weapons and spells to find, I like the one that lets you turn blood into coffins.

~20 hours

Orbo's Odyssey https://feverdreamjohnny.itch.io/orbos-odyssey If you played the massively popular demo for "Peeb Adventures" by feverdreamjohnny then you know that Johnny makes some fun and funny games and this is certainly one of them. speedy and satisfying platforming! funny dracula moments! short and sweet.

~2 hours

A Walk in the Woods https://mooncaller.itch.io/a-walk-in-the-woods Quaint little GBStudio game :) Made by some friends of mine for a jam :) It's cute I like it. There's minigames where you catch bugs and birdwatch.

~30 minutes long

Undertale Yellow https://gamejolt.com/games/UndertaleYellow/136925 I've only completed the pacifist run and checked out a neutral run so far. as the title somewhat implies, this is a prequel to Undertale where you play as the fallen human who had the yellow colored soul. This Undertale fangame has a lot of charm!!! A lot of battles really feel like they could have been in the original, with quite a bit of extra flair in some circumstances.

~10 hours

vs really cool bird https://bobacupcake.itch.io/vs-really-cool-bird you know that really cool bird that rob bobacupcake made well you can fight it in undertale and it's really fun. yeah two undertale fangames. . . wat of it …

~30 minutes

Misericorde: Volume One https://xeecee.itch.io/misericorde I wont lie the main draw for me into this was cute anime nuns I sure didn't know a whole lot else about it when I dug into it. But it's (the first part of) a VN murder mystery! And I enjoyed it a whole lot. All the characters are memorable and I really enjoy how all of them have differentiating designs. The protagonist is so failgirl. She sucks so much and I love her. I'm very intrigued by the mechanics of the game's world, it clues you in near the beginning to expect something a bit supernatural/fantastical, which gives you (and later the protagonist) a curiosity about what's real and what isn't. The music is all very impressive too, with the ost reaching past 100 tracks varying through post-rock, folk, drum & bass, and others. (Remembering when the track "Scandal" played and my friends and I took a moment to be like- okay hang on this track pwns.) Big fan of its haunting locals and how the aesthetic of the game fits them well. Also the humor is a lot of fun, and I love all the moments getting to know the different characters. Very excited to see the eventual continuation of this.

~12 hours

Absolutely Perfect Specimen https://chambersoft.itch.io/absolutely-perfect-specimen It seems like a lot of people are craving toxic horror yuri lately. Here's a recommendation. It's a VN about the android maid "Pan" and the mad scientist girl who created her. Horrifying & gut wrenching & largely about having other people define you. The art and music is haunting & poignant and matches the ever increasing feeling of dread throughout. It's yuri with the chunks. Peak robotgirl horror for those who can stomach it.

~90 minutes

Wordhopper https://kokoscript.itch.io/wordhopper Very quaint word search type puzzle game for ms dos! I think its style is very slick and that's pretty impressive to see. Chill game with nice vibes and eyecandy visuals. also it was so cool to have played this and then ended up seeing the dev's booth at Vintage Computer Festival Midwest. I was like omg woah I just played this.

~bunny

Bossgame https://lilyv.itch.io/bossgame This game is yuriful as f*ck. Delightful humor and fun character dynamics! A simple-to-understand-difficult-to-master boss rush battle system that makes you satisfied to get it right, and enticing to get just a little farther if you get it wrong. There's a lot of detail and charm to this game's menus and dialogues and win screens, I remember noticing that once you beat a boss there would be some marquee text that would pass by with some prose on it. I love how it balances its silly moments with its heartfelt moments and its high octane moments. I like the character development and revelations had throughout the plot. & I like how good the protagonists are for each other :) It's very sweet. It's hype as hell. if you want some boss rush action paired well with that sweet sweet girl's love, you *will* play this game.

~5 hours

Elly's Adventure https://bikwins.itch.io/ellys-adventure Very cute and witchy!! You are the little witch girl "Elly" on an adventure to get your toys back!! Feels like a pretty authentic gameboy type experience, it takes a lot of design cues from Kirby's adventure and the like. I am a big fan of how playful it feels.

~1 hour

Nour https://store.steampowered.com/app/1141050/Nour_Play_with_Your_Food/ This was a treat for me, but I understand that not everybody is going to get it. It's a game where you play with food(and food accessories). And that's it. It knows what it was going for. I think a lot of people were expecting something else for some reason. It's a cute little toy game and I felt satisfied with my time with it.

~food

Hi-Fi Rush https://store.steampowered.com/app/1817230/HiFi_RUSH/ Do I have to say this game is super fun? It's a big one everybody probably already knows it. This game's dopey humor made me laugh a lot and I'm not afraid to admit it.

~12 hours

WHISKEY.ST2007S https://bonicle.itch.io/whiskey-st2007nes One of the last games I played in the year because it released super last minute. Does anybody else get a rush when running a shopping cart down the parking lot? This emulates that feeling. Short game where you collect whisky stones in the whisky stone dimension because you forgot to go christmas shopping until the very last minute. it rules. It's very short you can go play it right now & get a highscore.

~5 minutes

re:curse https://devpalmer.itch.io/re-curse Discovered this one near the very end of the year also. Fun little rpg maker horror/humor game about a weird scientist lady, her butch, and an evil clown computer virus that figured out how to warp reality. I got a kick out of it. and also enjoyed digging through the game's files, which was actively encouraged by the dev, which I thought was very fun.

~90 minutes

-Didn't technically get to until 2024 but released last year-

SWOLLEN TO BURSTING UNTIL I AM DISAPPEARING ON PURPOSE https://1207.itch.io/swollen-to-bursting-until-i-am-disappearing-on-purpose People love to dunk on a lot of indie rpgs for being "quirky Earthbound inspired and about depression" or whatever. Earthbound's great. If people can nail the kind of humor and absurdity it likes to pull off while also balancing difficult topics I think that deserves a high mark. SWOLLEN TO BURSTING was fun. Bizarre and charming places to explore & distressing secrets to find. I like how it blends meander-around-the-town gameplay with Yume Nikki sort of exploration and effects. Also I'm a big fan of the music. I like how it has the lofi sound which matches the early 3d look of the game.

~6 hours

HalOPE https://starbage.itch.io/halope Another for the fans of sweet little rpg maker games that have a lot of heart. HalOPE is about an incomplete little angel wondering through worlds. Each has a theme, usually to do with an emotion or feeling, and they do well at evoking that feeling as well as its antithesis. a lot of the music is very homey and charming at moments and unnerving at others, sometimes lonely, all doing well in their corresponding chapters to further the feeling of its specified theme. There are so many delightful characters and designs in this & I found myself feeling really attached to their tiny little stories. The narrative at the core of it all hit me. If I may be vulnerable, I cried a whole lot at various moments in this game. It was really cathartic. I feel very excited for people to experience this game.

~5 hours

-Favs I finally got around to that didn't come out 2023-

An Outcry https://quinnk.itch.io/an-outcry Kind of sad it took me so long to get to this one, but glad it meant I got to play the "definitive" updated version of it. Apartment wandering RPG maker horror. Bum smokes from your neighbors and use them to save the game. I wish I could unwrap a lot more of what I like about this game than I can without spoiling too much. But if I could, I'd probably go on for too long. Let me attempt to be succinct & not giving too much away. You can tell pretty early on that An Outcry is about taking action when necessary & not turning a blind eye. What it explores about player vs protagonist agency is very fascinating to me as well, and I enjoyed learning about the inspirations for why the game's narrative works the way it does. The character Anne is such a sweetie and I love her a whole lot. This game has a very tangible feeling, this apartment complex is dirty and crumby, it smells of smoke, and there's a surrounding desperation you can feel.

~5 hours

Pigments https://punkcake.itch.io/pigments Honestly I had gotten this game in a bundle and while I was playing it I hadn't looked at the name and I just kept calling it FRUIT. On call with my friends I'd be like "hey im gonna play more FRUIT". I straight up didn't read the title screen. But it's called Pigments. You play as a fruit and you try to paint the whole floor and not get sliced by buzzsaws. Fun little arcade type game.

~fruit

Bridge, October 3rd https://lowpolis.itch.io/bridge-october-3rd Very short vignette. I like it. It's what it says it is. I'm not going to overexplain.

~like a minute

-Other Games I Want To Mention-

Pseudoregalia https://store.steampowered.com/app/2365810/Pseudoregalia/ I think a lot of people might have already known this one but I felt like it was a pretty fun 3d platformer. There were a few issues I had with it (boss fight at the beginning was frustrating, and I got lost a lot [but it looks like there's been a map patch by now, so, perhaps for some that is a fix]). I enjoyed it but sure felt weird that the only accessibility option was to give the protagonist pants. What kind of joke is that?

~5 hours

Mushroom Musume https://mortallymoonstruckgames.itch.io/mushroom-musume (Disclaimer, this game is still early access, but I saw a lot of people talking about it last year. SO I will mention here?) Haven't played much of this yet, but I have enjoyed what I played so far!! As of writing I've gone through 6 playthroughs, I feel like I've hardly scratched the surface and I've been so impressed by its depth. It's very charming, you never know what sorts of fairytale shenanigans are going to happen, and it's very cool to see how your different stats will affect things. It very much plays out like a roguelike vn. Which is not the sort of thing you may expect to make much sense but it pulls this off well. Also all the mushroom girls are very cute and I love them very much. I hope the sad goopy one who had bugs in her skin rests in peace.

~mushroom

Knuckle Sandwich https://andybrophy.itch.io/knuckle-sandwich -_- Hm. Where do I start with this one. I was pretty excited for this one since the demo and kickstarter in 2018. I felt like the demo was a hell of a hook that got me curious & horrified. As time went on, it seemed to be shaping up into something really cool. turn based combat with action commands and wario-ware-type microgames?? with a banging soundtrack?? like, count me in!! Then it released and well, the gameplay, art, music all delivered. It was very fun and engaging in those aspects. But the story… oh it just devolves into disappointing nonsensical randomness. The whole hook at the beginning seemed to be completely thrown away for the wild goose chase plot that ensues, leaving you to wonder if it was ever going to be relevant again. It felt like it had no idea what it was trying to say or do. It disappointed me that a game that has so much good in so much else about it gets brought down so much for me by this plot.

~12 hours

Rhythm Doctor https://store.steampowered.com/app/774181/Rhythm_Doctor/ (Putting this one in mentions because it is early access.) I really enjoyed the act 5 release. When I first saw this game, I kind of shrugged it off, thinking "that base mechanic doesn't seem like it will last". I thought it was basically just that one ghost shooting game from Rhythm Heaven which I Hate. Well let's just say I am now seeking penitence for my previous transgressions. It's really fun. There's a lot more to it that I didn't know when I first took a look. Also, consistently amazed by people's custom levels, I had no idea that its level editor allows people to do so much in it, I look at some levels and think "This editor seems as complex as an industry standard video editor". I'm looking forward to what they're planning next, very curious how they could possibly one-up the last update.

~rhythm

El Paso Elsewhere https://strangescaffold.itch.io/el-paso-elsewhere This was really fun & funny so far but unfortunately I had been encountering an issue with a certain level where the game would crash. I reported the issue, got a response, and there has been an update since then so I think there's a possibility that it got fixed but I have not tried yet. I would like to return to this sometime but having to relearn controls midway through is always daunting to me.

~?

-Things that looked good but didn't get around to-

Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood https://store.steampowered.com/app/1340480/The_Cosmic_Wheel_Sisterhood/ Still don't know a whole lot about this. But there are witches, and I like witches.

Casette Beasts https://store.steampowered.com/app/1321440/Cassette_Beasts/ I haven't felt thrilled about Pokémon lately. I know a lot of people seemed to really enjoy this little monster-collecting-rpg. The style is appealing to me as a die-hard gen 5 fan. I started playing it but haven't set aside the dedicated time for it yet, but I'm excited to dig in more when I do.

Little Goody Two Shoes https://store.steampowered.com/app/1812370/Little_Goody_Two_Shoes/ Started watching a friend play this, and I'm certainly curious.. Some sort of horror fairytale but also there's yuri? Yum. Enjoyed the style and animation in the nightmare segments that I saw.

Venba https://store.steampowered.com/app/1491670/Venba/ I've picked this up a while ago but still haven't gotten around to it, but I'm eager to, I've heard nothing but good things.

Goodbye Volcano High https://store.steampowered.com/app/1310330/Goodbye_Volcano_High/ I think there are gay dinosaurs in a band and it's going to be the apocalypse? I have also heard nothing but good things about this.

-Things I watched friends play-

Signalis https://store.steampowered.com/app/1262350/SIGNALIS/ This was a pretty big one. You probably already know it, right? Watched a friend play this and I missed various parts but I understood a solid bit of it. hey. robotgirls are always getting put in these fucked up situations. have you noticed this? one time i got really high and cried about it. it isn't fair

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk https://store.steampowered.com/app/1353230/Bomb_Rush_Cyberfunk/ This one was also probably big enough you don't need me to sing its praises. but it looked really neat. swag.

-Various Thoughts-

Lately I've been thinking more about design and narrative. I feel like I haven't been doing as much analysis as I should be when it comes to games. I want to dissect more what games are saying and figure out meaning. Also attempt to see how the mechanics aid in that. I feel like most of my own work is pretty abstract & random. I simply make what I like. While that's fun and all, I still want to improve in a lot of ways, especially in having more of a theme or message. Figuring out how other games accomplish this is obviously a good step toward this.

If you saw games here that interest you I highly urge you to take a look, many are pretty short, and I pretty explicitly wanted to highlight some smaller titles. If you know me you know I like to uplift small games. (Save for the occasional big game, but that's rare these days) I think it's healthy for you to play and support independently developed & published works. I don't want to ramble too much this time about why that's important, but I hope that you might have found something you may enjoy here and if not then I encourage you to find small stuff that you would like. And I would like to encourage everybody to share their findings as well! Little games need our help to be seen and talked about! They don't have the budgets the big ones do for advertising, and advertising on your own is a whole ton of work. If you like something, spread the word! I'm sure the developers would very much appreciate that.

[mirohlayo]

IF IT'S A GAME, THEN

I'LL BE THE WINNER

( You're not the type to give up easily, and even less so for Max who absolutely doesn't want to lose the game. )

warning : mention of jealousy, angst but not angst, sad max :(, fluffff

word count : 2.5k

You sigh, annoyed. "What are you talking about? This is a bad idea, Max." The dutch shakes his head, absolutely disagreeing with you. “Look.” He jumps to sit on the pale green sofa, his left arm resting on the edge of the sofa, facing you. "We have nothing to lose. It's a good idea for a game, and I know that deep down you think the same as me." He waves his hands to accompany his words, determined to change your mind.

You run your hands over your face, completely tired. This discussion has been going on for 20 minutes now, and you don't know where it's going. Fatigue is growing within you and his explanations seem more and more repetitive to you, so there remains one last choice. "Okay okay, I accept. We're going to play this ridiculous game." You sigh heavily as your best friend almost jumps for joy.

It's ridiculous indeed. This game, or rather this stupid bet that you accepted. "I'll remind you of the rules one last time. The first person to date someone wins. What wins? The title of best seducer." You nod, rolling your eyes, to make him understand that he doesn't need to repeat himself and that you understand the rules of his so called very fun game very well.

You don't even know where it came from. Well, yes. It just turns out that both of your love lives are... well, not great. Each of your previous dates were all horrible, and the only time you were in a relationship, your boyfriend dumped you after 2 months because he had found something better. It's almost ironic because it's so pitiful. In conclusion, by forgetting certain details, we can say that your love life is a phenomenal disaster. And it was hard to do worse than you.

Except for Max. Maybe after all he was the king of fails. Many relationships of just a few weeks fell through because these girls only wanted attention, money and notoriety. Sometimes he would end up kissing a random girl when he was partying, a girl whose name he didn't even remember. But he always ended up going home alone, and regretting this kiss which meant nothing.

After these failures which weighed down your morale, you were always there for each other to reconcile. When you came to Max in tears, explaining to him how your ex left you for another girl who he thought was a thousand times better, he immediately took you in his arms. He comforted you all evening, wiping your tears while spoiling you with your favorite meals in front of your favorite movie. He had turned off his phone, all his attention was focused on you. Because there was no way he was going to leave her childhood best friend alone and sad because of some poor guy.

And when Max finally explained to you why all his short relationships had fallen through, you reassured him that not all of these girls deserved it. You had cuddled him under the thick blankets, lightly scratching his scalp, and spent the evening reminding him how strong and incredible he is, and that there was no better man than him on this planet.

Because there was no way you were going to leave your childhood best friend alone and sad because of poor profiteers.

But it was also in these moments that your feelings surfaced the most, and it was difficult to hide them. In the end, all these dates and fake relationships were just a distraction, some kind of fake companionship and joy to try to forget the real feelings you have. Your disastrous love affairs weren't disastrous by chance, they were only disastrous to unite the only two people who were finally made for each other.

And this game risks changing everything.

-

Max knew very well what he was doing when he proposed this game to you a few days ago. He knew that, if you accepted, everything would be easier for him. He is determined and confident, and he wants to win this game at all costs. Anything goes, and it's a big help for him since he was able to gain enough confidence to be able to, well...

Win your heart, and therefore win the game.

On the contrary, for your part, you want to continue to forget your feelings for Max. It's inconceivable to you that he could, even with a little luck, have romantic feelings for you. He is a great driver, rich, handsome and young who enjoys his life. Obviously a lot of girls including models beg him for even one chance. Max can't date someone as ordinary as you.

And yet, if only you knew...

It's almost 7 p.m. Max rushes to finish cooking your favorite dish, two plates already ready to be served. You've already been in the bathroom for a good hour now, finishing getting ready for your date tonight. You had no time to waste and you rushed to the first man who seemed rather nice and pleasant to you. You finish the last touches of your makeup with a brush, and the bathroom door suddenly opens.

Max smiles to himself as he hears the door click, and when he looks up, he wonders if he's still breathing. Before him is - without any, but no doubt - the most beautiful woman, the most resplendent girl in the world. Your face is divine, the burgundy dress you are wearing accentuates your magnificent body and your hair is harmoniously highlighted with the rest of your makeup. You are just... breathtaking.

He blinks a few times, completely unsure how to function for a moment. Your laugh brings him out of his trance and he ends up awkwardly lining up a few words. "You're just... well... breathtaking. I-I mean, really really gorgeous." You laugh shyly, lowering your head, a little embarrassed by his compliments. You can feel his gaze piercing you all over and for a moment, you feel like you're naked in front of him. Even so, he manages to make you feel so many things.

“What’s got you so dressed up like that, gorgeous?” He smiled kindly at you before lowering his head to finish mixing the sauce in the pan. His t-shirt reveals his muscular and veiny arms, his hands and his pale knuckles as he holds the pan firmly in place. His hair, still a little damp after his shower, falls lightly on his forehead, and his face displays a concentrated but calm expression. It was just easy to get lost in the beauty of this man.

“Mhh, did you hear me princess?” When you meet his gaze, he looks at you amused, a smirk evident at the corner of his lips. You shake your head, embarrassed to have looked at him like that, and fortunately he didn't comment on it. "Don't you remember? I have a date tonight" You rush to put on your heels, leaning on the white wall next to you. "Oh, you're right. I was cooking your favorite dish so we could eat together but I forgot you were going out tonight."

In fact, he absolutely hadn't forgotten the fact that you had a date tonight. He just purposely came up with this little plan, which is part of your game, to spend more time with you and show you that only he is perfect for you, and that at least he knows how to cook your favorite dish. As he examines your face, not knowing what sort of emotions are hidden there, he hopes deep down that hopefully you'll give in to your date and spend the evening with him instead.

But alas, the sad look you give him immediately makes him understand that you won't be keeping him company this evening. “Sorry Max. I appreciate the effort you put in and you know I love you, but I have no intention of losing this damn game” You end up smiling evilly before running out the door , already a little late for your date. The pilot didn't even have time to properly say goodbye to you, he sighed sadly.

But you were right on one hand. After all, it was Max who started this bet and there had to be a winner. Except for him, he didn't need to go on dates to find a girlfriend. He's already known her since childhood, and he's always wanted this girl, even after so many years. He grabs his plate with difficulty and settles down on the couch, where you could spend hours and hours watching anything and everything on the TV. He feels a little abandoned tonight, it's true.

The idea of imagining yourself chatting and laughing with a man other than him never resonates with him again, but tonight it's different. His sadness is stronger, and he seems on the verge of crying and breaking down. He knows he has to try harder and put more heart into throwing hints at you and making you understand that he wants to play this game with you, but you consider him so much a friend that you take all his actions friendly. And not romantically.

Max didn't even bother waiting for you to come home that evening, too disappointed and saddened. His heart tightened in his chest and he preferred to fall asleep earlier than usual to forget his heartache. You came home around 11 p.m., a little disappointed. You expected to see your best friend, but he wasn't there. Which saddened you even more. Your date wasn't that great, but he still insisted on making it up to you and giving you another chance. And you obviously accepted the offer.

So, in the following weeks, everything seemed bland and gloomy. It was like a cycle, an infernal loop. A destructive and unpleasant routine had set in and it weighed on both of you, but especially Max. He spent his days thinking, finding ideas for activities to spend time with you and make you fall under his spell. To prevent you from seeing this famous date again. But every time, you told him that you were going out with him since he had invited you somewhere again.

You always apologized, but sometimes you still took the trouble to spend a little time with him, before finally joining your so called potential new lover. And as the weeks passed, your friendship seemed to fade away. You were drifting away little by little, almost as if it was normal or inevitable. Max, who launched this game hoping to win your heart, ended up letting himself be fooled by his own game.

But we already know Max, right? He was so fed up, but so fed up with this situation. He suffered silently, he struggled to smile and he had lost every ounce of joy. He was never affected like that and let's not forget to mention his jealousy that burned brightly every time you talked about your date. He couldn't take it anymore, he absolutely couldn't take all this anymore. He was becoming the loser of his own game, and Max is not like that at all.

He was born to win everything, emerge victorious and undefeated. He has no desire to give up this stupid game and proclaim himself the loser. No, he will be the winner in the end, no matter what.

Max stares at you, leaning back on his couch, while you sit across from him, smiling in front of your phone. He rolls his eyes for a long time, already knowing that you are talking with this man whose eyes he dreams of tearing out. You end up suddenly standing up, running your hand over your wrinkled tee shirr. "I think I'll start getting ready to go out-" "No."

Max was quick to cut you. His tone was firm and almost aggressive. He also gets up to stand at your height, greatly surpassing you. You have to lift your head to look at him, and under this pressure you begin to weaken. It would be so easy to let go and just kiss him. There is your date, yes. But that never meant that you actually forgot about Max. No, on the contrary, it was getting worse and worse.

“You’re not going anywhere, Y/n.” You frown, a little irritated by his tone and the way he speaks to you. "I'm not here to listen to your orders Max. I have another date, and I'll go whether you want me to or-" "Do you really love him?" He cuts you off again, moving a little closer to you, arms crossed. He carries this look so arrogant and menacing, and his gaze is so piercing that you feel like he can read every feeling in you.

He stares at you intensely, never letting go of your gaze. You try as best you can to hold his gaze, but after his question, you flinch. You part your mouth slightly, as if to say something, but nothing comes out. Your eyes also betray you, and your whole body feels paralyzed. You question yourself. Do you really love this man? Behind your impassive heart, you already know the answer.

There has never been any man other than Max.

Your lack of response is now too suspicious for the driver, who wanted to continue again but you cut him off. “Love is still a big word but yes, I really like him.” Your voice trembles slightly, as if you ultimately don't mean any of the words you say. "Don't lie to me Y/n. It was just a game basically." Max knows you by heart, even with his eyes closed. He knows perfectly well when you're lying, and it turns out he noticed.

You clear your throat, avoiding his gaze. “A game that perhaps allowed me to find a boyfriend.” You are hesitant with your words, not so sure of yourself. You fidget on the spot, rocking one foot over the other. This sentence seems to have really annoyed Max, who rolls his eyes, his jaw clenched. “Who told you we couldn't play this game with each other, Y/n?.” He looks at you like he's about to do something serious and unexpected.

Never have your faces been so close, only a few centimeters away. Your gaze falls unintentionally on his lips, then, as if it were forbidden, you come back to your senses and lock your eyes into his. But Max noticed, and he knows he's already won. "If it's a game, then I'll be the winner." He whispers softly, faintly. Until your lips touch. He kisses you like no one has kissed you before. It is a passionate, loving and exquisite kiss. Simply lovely.

His lips are soft against yours, but he moves them ardently, almost wildly but always in sensual desire. He releases all his emotions and all his frustration in this divine kiss, which he absolutely does not want to stop. Reluctantly, you step back slightly, smiling shyly. "Okay, I have to admit. You really are the winner." He chuckled softly, stealing another quick kiss from you. "Of course. You know I don't like losing, especially when it comes to you."

You rolled your eyes amusedly, pressing your lips to his again. This ridiculous game wasn't so ridiculous after all, even if you didn't come out a winner. Because after all, who can come out on top in a game when Max is the opponent?

[uranium235s]

it occurs to me I've actually never done anything to introduce my courier despite posting about him 400 times I just kinda made everyone witness him so here's some basic stuff + his lore under the cut (long and probably very boring post incoming)

chester was born in Utah and lived there til he was almost a teenager when the Legion swept through his village and took him as a slave. his parents were much older, and were killed, and his other family (older brother) had left for California some months prior, leaving chester the sole support of his family. he does not remember his birth/original name

chester had some decent experience (for an 11 year old) of fixing machines because his father collected pre-war cars and motors and sold them and their parts for a living and so was sent downriver to Arizona to serve as a repairman and technician. while Legion property he was given the name Chiron

Chester lived in Arizona with the legion until he was 20 years old, hating every minute. a boy around his age by the name of Attilius was charged with keeping watch over him and bringing him new projects, and during the duration of their time together had developed a rapport over Roman poetry and literature, the only thing they could stand to talk to each other about.

Attilius was watching over him when Chester staged his escape and made it out. the two fought with Chester emerging victorious, believing he had killed Attilius, and escaping despite some severe injuries, including a spinal cord injury that ended up giving him brain damage, causing him to live with hallucinations, seizures, and worsening eyesight from this point on

Chester escaped via the Colorado River and came out on the other side in Nevada. he started wandering aimlessly, ignoring his injuries until he began becoming faint and passed out in a toppled semi truck and was discovered by some well intentioned folks that were traveling up the way to Vegas. they got him medical help before leaving him in Primm, at which point he took up a job as a courier with the Mojave Express at age 21, taking on a new name which he now cannot remember.

the freedom of being a courier was something Chester lived for. every day was a good day, he could go anywhere, meet lots of people, and got paid pretty good for his efforts. he was, and I cannot stress enough, perfectly and utterly happy with his simple mailman life, and misses it every sinnggglllee day during the game events. this continued on for ten happy years, in which time he learns that his older brother, Tomás, has become a trooper with the NCR. he avoids reaching out for some years after the discovery, wary of what his brother would think of him for his years in the Legion (even if it wasn't his choice.) when he does reach out, the only thing he receives in return is his brother's dog tags, learning he was killed in the battle of hoover dam 😀👍

the day after his 31st birthday is when he took the platinum chip job and ended up in a shallow grave in Goodsprings. after his brief coma and stay in the doctors house, and picking a new name again (Chester) and after resolving tensions with the Powder Gangers, he immediately cut a path to Vegas on the hunt for Benny. at first, he wanted revenge, but the anger turned to confusion, turned to helplessness. on his way through quarry junction, he was attacked by an injured deathclaw that had been abandoned by the rest of its pack, and recieved the scratches that blinded one of his eyes

after the attack, he managed to run as far as the NCR sharecroppers outside of the Strip before he collapsed and crawled his way to Freeside, where he was discovered by an unsuspecting Arcade, who took him in with haste and stitched him back together. the following day when Chester finally woke, Arcade gave him a full examination and decided it was medically unsafe for him to be alone and decided to follow him to keep an eye on him, though the two get a lot closer over the game events. Arcade also decided it'll be easiest if they make their way back to Primm and start the investigation from where it all began, rather than trying to break into an expensive, well armed luxury district and demand answers from a complete stranger. Chester agrees.

Chester has questionable memory of his past. he more or less remembers being a courier, in fact it's the period of time he remembers best (in comparison) about his life and kind of sensationalizes it and how badly he wants to return to that stage of his life, but the future marches ever onward. he doesn't remember any part of his life before the age of 15, and therefore only remembers he was part of the Legion and not the circumstances as to why. he avoids and detests them, scared that he's forgetting something awful about who he was and what he did, and keeping the information close to his chest. he remembers being Chiron, and doesn't know the limitations of his Chiron persona, and therefore has been renaming himself and reinventing himself every chance he gets (this is made worse by the fact that he remembers "killing" Attilius and fears that it proves he was as evil as the rest of them)

after the game, and because he had formed a strong relationship with Arcade, he elects to join the Followers of the Apocalypse, offering to help find and restore medical supplies across the desert. this arrangement lasts for about a year and a half until the events of Dead Money take place, and chester has a severe downward spiral upon returning home. he gives all his money from the Sierra Madre away immediately, tried to keep the severity of how bad he was doing mentally under wraps so as to not draw any concerns or questions from his friends but ended up breaking down and having a less than stellar confrontation with Arcade involving holding him at gunpoint (I must stress he was not in his right mind!)

after that they grew distant for a few months when Chester was back to patient status amongst the Followers, skirting around camp, talking mostly to some of the better suited doctors about what he was going through, before him and Arcade inevitably made up! and the rest is happily ever after. kind of

other misc things:

• chester playlist

• favorite wasteland animal: bighorner

• favorite radio song: johnny guitar - peggy lee

• lives in Novac and in Freeside

• closest relationship with Arcade, but also with Lily, Julie Farkas, and a decent partnership with Boone, though he gets along better with Manny and talks to him more often when in Novac

• he doesn't remember the dog tags he wears are his brother's, but he keeps them on because he feels like it might be important. I think he rediscovers this fact when he revisits Utah much later in life

• he hates wearing his glasses and pretty much only does so when Arcade or Julie insists he must (and insist they do)

• Attilius did not die in their fight, he was found unconscious and badly wounded and was punished by having his tongue cut out (with the claim that having those talks with Chester made him too weak to do his job.) the two met again during the second battle and he was killed in combat

• he develops a fondness and eventual passion for energy weapons after visiting the Silver Rush with Arcade and taking an interest in why he likes them so

• never returns to the Lucky 38 after the events of the story, so that casino is just rotting eternally. would ideally give the property to anyone who needs it but doesn't know who needs it to begin with

• low intelligence high science and medicine because of how invested he gets in learning from Julie and Arcade, and medicine in particular he finds passion in when speaking to Lily and examining her condition

• high perception because of paranoid hypervigilance

• clothes were given to him by The Followers after he showed up post-deathclaw attack, originally had a denim jacket but it was ruined in the conflict

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.

Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings

(also it's far too late in the game for me to be asking this but can someone help me figure out why everyone's blogs outside of the first five people in the tag list dont show up. ive been on tumblr since like 2014 and still cannot figure this stuff out im sobbing)

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men | @nerdisthenewcool | @lilypadmomentum | @1dkneo | @kitsunechan707

Chapter 28

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Your maternity leave had started early, not helped by how active one of your babies was at the crack of dawn.  Every morning when you woke up to the sound of your alarm and rolled over to hoist yourself out of bed, you felt a kick against your abdomen.  When you stood up, you felt that familiar fluttering sensation.  One morning, you slept in only a few minutes longer than you normally did, and were punished with a small shove against your bladder that had you involuntarily unloading your urine into your pajama bottoms.

That one made you cry, Law keeping his chuckles to himself as he helped you clean up in the bathroom.

“Stop berating them through my stomach,” you sobbed.  “I just pissed my pants.”

Your husband had answered you with a soft kiss to your swollen skin as he bent down to pick up your soiled clothing and bring them to your washing machine.  “It happens, darling.  It wasn’t your fault.”

Needless to say, it had been an emotional third trimester thus far.

On a Friday evening, you were sitting reclined against the arm of your couch, a book resting on your belly as you munched on some apple slices when Law came bursting through the door.  He was frantic to kick off his shoes and shrug off his lab coat, hanging it on the hooks in the entryway before scrambling into the living room and plopping himself down next to you.  He was holding a notebook in his hand.

“Hello to you, too,” you stated sarcastically, placing a paper bookmark in your novel to mark your spot and adjusting yourself on the couch to sit with your legs crossed under you.

“I was busy on my break today,” Law stated matter-of-factly, flipping through the wrinkled notebook with a fervor.  When he found the page he was looking for, he folded the journal in half and held out the exposed page to face you.

A bunch of squares and barely legible writing covered the lined paper.  You squinted.  “I have no idea what I’m looking at, babe.”

Law rarely had moments where he got so excited that he couldn’t speak, but this was clearly one of those moments.  He would forget that other people didn’t have over 20 years of medical training going back to the age of five.  “Sorry, sorry.”  He turned the notebook back toward him, using his finger to point out what he had scribbled down.  “These are genetic predictions.  It’s estimated that about 50% of fraternal twins will be opposite genders, so a boy and a girl.  Which means about 25% will be both boys, and about 25% will be both girls.”  He moved his finger from one scribble to another.  “I have black hair, which I’m assuming to be the dominant gene among the two of us.  However, I’m also a carrier for brown hair, because my mother and sister both were brunettes.  Accounting for your hair color, I’m estimating that it’s a 75% chance that both of our babies will have black hair.  At least one of our babies will have my eye color, but I believe your eyes are the dominant trait.  I remember you saying at one point that someone in your family had curly hair, right?  I’m estimating a 25% chance that at least one of our kids will have curly hair.  If both of our babies are boys, the chances are 75% that they’ll be colorblind, and 25% that only one of them will be colorblind.  If both are girls, it’s a 75% chance that both of them will be carriers for the colorblind gene, 25% that only one of them will be.  But again, this is all approximations.  So then I started thinking about more technical stuff.  I have B+ blood, but I couldn’t remember what your blood type was, so we have to go off of the Rh factor, which is dominant with positive Rh, which means that at least one of our babies will have Rh positive blood, likely both.  Male pattern baldness is also a dominant trait in most families, but I’m 26 and still have a full head of hair, so hopefully if we have a boy, he won’t have to worry about hair loss.  Funnily enough, I learned today that having six fingers on one or both hands can actually be a dominant allele in some genetic lines, but neither of our family members have had any form of polydactyly that I can recall.  Just an interesting thought.  Anyway–”

Your shoulders were shaking with your laughter.  “Law, slow down!  Breathe!”  Your hands reached forward to grab his shoulders to settle his excited rambling, his face slowly losing color as he was speaking more than he was absorbing oxygen.

You watched as your husband took a long gulp of hair in before blowing it out slowly.  “Sorry.  I got excited.”

“Don’t apologize, you’re adorable,” you replied, stroking your hand along his cheek.  “How long did it take you to write all that down?”

Law glanced one more time at his notebook before closing it and discarding it on the coffee table.  “About 15 minutes.”

You snorted.  “I hope intelligence is a dominant trait so that both of our kids will be as smart as you.”

“You’re smart too,” he argued back, his voice light and content.

“Not ‘scribble down multiple punnett squares in 15 minutes’ smart,” you countered.  “Have you eaten anything yet?”

He shook his head, stretching his arms behind his back.  “Nope, I came straight home.  I was too excited to show you that.”

You grinned, struggling to lean forward to kiss the tip of his nose.  He assisted you by leaning forward on his own legs, pressing his forehead to yours.

“How have you been feeling?” he asked suddenly, diverting the topic.  One of his hands came to rest on the crest of your belly, petting the taught skin through your shirt.

“Tired,” you replied.  “It’s hard to stand up.  Robin said both babies are probably around 2 or 3 pounds by now, but honestly it feels like I’m carrying lead weights when I stand.  I feel like a turtle.”

“Any more movement?” he asked, scooting over the cushions to be closer to you, wrapping one of his arms around your shoulders to pull you into him.  You gladly followed his gesture, dropping your head into his neck.

“One of them moves in the morning still, the other likes to kick when I go to bed.  The only reason I’ve been able to tell is because I feel them on different sides,” you groaned.  “I don’t know what it looks like with them folded up in there, but they haven’t made it easy on me.”

Law hummed in response, his free hand stroking your belly.  The feeling of his palm against your bump felt more soothing than the finest lotion.  “I’m just glad that they’re both okay… not like I’m thrilled that you’re in pain, obviously, but…”

“No, trust me, I am too,” you sighed, closing your eyes.  “I’ve made it this long now, and both of them are still alive.  And pretty soon…”

Your husband knew exactly what you were going to say when your voice trailed off.  It was a subject the two of you had been tip-toeing around for quite some time.

The birth.

“That’s the one thing that’s still scaring me,” you admitted.  “I’m already high risk, and anything could go wrong.  I might have to be ripped open while awake to get them out.  I might die, even.”

Law felt his chest clench.  “Don’t say that, you won’t die.”

“But we don’t know that,” you sighed, your voice growing more nervous by the second.

“No, you won’t die,” he replied firmly.

You felt mildly guilty for broaching the subject.  You knew how difficult it was for him to even think about the slim chance of losing his family again, not when he had come so far and achieved so much with you.  You leaned your head upward to kiss the soft skin of his neck, his sideburns tickling your forehead.  You felt his arm around your shoulder pull you even closer to him, his breaths shallow.

“I’m sorry…” you muttered.

“Don’t be,” he responded quickly.  “I mean it.  You have nothing to be sorry for.”

His hand dropped from your belly to grasp your own, tilting his head down to meet your own as his lips gently pressed against yours.  Your eyes slipped closed, leaning into his tender kiss and wrapping your free arm around his torso.  The size of your belly made it hard to be flush against him, but you made do.  After all, you would have to get used to cuddling with two babies soon enough.

You pulled away from his lips.  “Hey, so how’s the studying been?  For that surgery?”

Law groaned, not at you, but at the mere thought of the looming procedure that had been bearing on his mind for the past eight weeks.  “I feel like I’m back in med school, that’s for sure.  I feel ready for it, but at the same time I can never be too prepared.  It’s going to be… a lot.”

Dual heart-lung transplants were very, very rare, and used for the most severe of cases.  The procedure had never been performed at Law’s hospital before.  Single heart transplants had been done, and a few lung transplants, but never at the same time.  Law’s cardiac ward was specifically chosen for the operation because of the young doctor’s expertise in the field.  The patient’s life was quite literally in Law’s hands.

A small smirk flashed on his face.  “I started wearing gloves in that patient’s room with his family.  I don’t want them to see the tattoos on my fingers.”

“Do you not wear gloves for any other patients?” you asked with a small giggle.  

“No, I do, when performing treatments.  When I’m on rounds, I just stick my hands in my pockets,” he explained.  He had one dimple on his cheek that showed up when he smiled.  You couldn’t help but peck a quick kiss to it.  His stomach suddenly grumbled, startling the two of you.

“You stay right here, I’ll make us some dinner,” he said, making a move to stand up.

“Pancakes,” you demanded with your own mischievous smirk.

“We had pancakes a week ago,” he replied with a smile.

“And?”

Law leaned down for one last kiss on the crown of your head.  “Alright.  Pancakes it is.”

—

Your pregnancy journal had gone from an anxious possession that you worried would jynx your good luck to a vice that you crawled back to whenever you were bored.  The pages were filled with the ink from your pen as you used the prompts to delve into some of the thoughts you kept to yourself, your feelings about your body, your babies, your relationships, the hopes and dreams and the worries and troubles you tried not to stress about.  You kept track of the gifts you had received, the words of advice from your doctor, and the unprovoked comments from elderly ladies at the supermarket who liked to comment about how cute of a couple you were when you shopped for food with your husband.

The grouchy, black-haired surgeon with bags under his eyes and a resting bitch face, and you, his slightly shorter, glowing wife with a very large pregnant belly and a polite, shining smile on her face.  You were truly a match made in heaven, one might say.

Law had been busier and busier in the weeks getting closer to your due date.  As the weather got colder, the holidays came and went, and the new year began, he was diving more and more into his studies preparing for what was easily the largest, most intense, and most serious surgery of his professional career.  Some might assume that you would get tired of the neglect, growing frustrated that he wasn’t around to spend time with you in your third trimester, but in reality, you couldn’t be more proud.

The sight of him hunched over your kitchen table surrounded by old textbooks and papers was an image straight out of your college days, where you’d let yourself into his single dorm room close to midnight and find him on his floor in the dim lighting surrounded on all sides by professional journals, research papers, and textbooks from every esteemed surgeon in his field.  You’d sit down next to him and diligently push french fries against his lips as his eyes stayed glued to his studies, rewarding you during his sparse downtime with awkward kisses that tasted like salt and firm yet shaky hands that were obsessed with traveling up and down your body.  

The only difference now was that Law was that professional in his field, that he was in an apartment, and that you both had rings on your fingers.  The french fries stayed the same, but he at least had a piece of mind to feed himself while you watched from the couch and giggled.  Every once in a while, he would lean back against his seat and pop his spine with a satisfied groan, toss you a fond look across the room, and go back to reading.  Sometimes, you would stand behind him and rub his stiff shoulders, encouraging him to stand up and stretch his legs just as he would do to you to ensure you remained strong during the final weeks of your pregnancy.

The only thing weighing on your mind was the panging worry that he would be in the middle of this massive procedure when you went into labor.  You were both informed by your doctor that most twins would be delivered either naturally or induced at around 36 weeks, almost a month before single babies were usually born, and with your due date at 38 weeks being in the middle of May, you had a nagging feeling in your head that he would miss it.

You both tried to hold onto hope that your babies would be delivered any other day that month.  He would be gone for only a day, a full 24 hours, in total the day of the surgery.  What were the odds that your babies would be born on that specific day?  Slim, to say the least.

At around 32 weeks, it was getting hard for you to stand up.  Your movements were slow and labored, and you were spending most of your days in your apartment either on your couch or in your bed, standing up when instructed by Law, or Shachi and Penguin when he was at work, to walk laps around your home.  The fear of blood clots forming in your legs and traveling to your lungs, as described by your lovely husband in far too much detail, was enough to make you more determined to keep the blood pumping in your body.

“Alright, ready?” Law stated, standing behind you in the kitchen as you slowly made your way through a pile of dirty dishes in the sink.

“Ready,” you stated back, your eyes focused on washing the silverware in your hands.

His inked hands traveled around your torso and under your belly, lifting up against the bottom of your bump.  The sudden relief of having the weight lifted off of your back made an almost erotic moan leave your lips, your grip on the silverware releasing slightly as the tension in your entire body flooded from your veins like a broken dam.

“Feel good?” he asked from behind you with a smirk, his chin resting on the crown of your head.

“Oh my god,” you groaned.  “I saw a lot of posts that said that it feels good, but I didn’t think it would feel this good.  I wish you could do that constantly.”

Sparse kisses were placed to the back of your head as his hands slowly released their pressure against the bottom of your bump, leaving your back aching once more as your body was forced to bear the brunt of the weight in your abdomen.  You stifled a whimper as you were forced to hold what felt like 50 extra pounds on your own again, but Law’s lingering presence behind you with his hands resting idly on your belly soothed your aches subconsciously.

“Busy spring, huh?” he asked, filling the room where the only other sound was the sloshing from your dish washing.

You hummed in response, rinsing your hands and turning off the tap, drying your hands on a towel that lay on the counter beside you.  “You could say that.”  You turned around to lean against the counter, Law’s hands remaining on your body as you rotated.  He leaned forward to capture your lips in his, you rewarding him with a smile.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to be more physical with you…” you sighed.

Law pulled away.  “Why are you sorry for that?”

You shrugged.  “You seem like you’ve been a lot more handsy with me lately, and I can’t reciprocate.  And I’m probably not going to be able to reciprocate for a while after I give birth.”

Your husband chuckled, planting chaste kisses across your cheeks.  “I’m not ‘being handsy with you’ because I want anything.  I’m ‘being handsy’ because I want you to be happy and comfortable.  I’m not expecting anything in return.  And by the way,” he pulled away to stare into your worried eyes.  “I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking about your post-birth body being somehow inferior to how you were before pregnancy, I know it.”

You averted your gaze, your lips pinching together.

“And I know you don’t like the stretch marks on your belly,” he added.

“Where are you going with this?” you asked, your voice quiet.

“Because I’m going to remind you every day how beautiful you are.  Always.  Even the changes that come with having a child.  You’re always going to be beautiful to me.  I’ll never be repulsed by your stretch marks or wrinkled skin or cellulite like you think I’m going to be.  The person standing in front of me is a beautiful woman who has given me a life worth living, and I’m going to cherish her and support her through everything.”

Your eyes darted toward his neck, where his glass necklace still sat between his collarbones.  He religiously wore it every single day, only taking it off to shower, sleep, and perform surgeries.  Likewise, you never removed your glass ring.  Hot tears began to form in your eyes, but your lips curled into a smile.  Your expression fought for dominance over being happy or sad, and what resulted was a shaky grin, furrowed eyebrows, and watery eyes.

“What did I do to deserve you?” you asked, letting a few lose tears escape the corners of your eyes.

Your husband kissed the damp streaks that your tears left behind on your cheeks.  “You fed me french fries on the floor of my dorm room in college.  I think that’s when I knew you were going to be my wife one day.”

A bubbly laugh left your throat as your hands gripped his shoulders for stability.  “I think I knew when you found me out behind my dorm building that night.”

Law leaned in to kiss you one more time, but a sudden gasp left your lips as your entire body tensed up.  A stinging cramping sensation rippled across your abdomen, lingering in your muscles.  It lasted about 30 seconds, where your shaking hands clenched the cotton of Law’s shirt, his eyes wide and frenzied as his hands supported your upright posture, before the pain finally dissipated into a mild buzz, then nothing at all.

You stared into Law’s eyes.  “Can you help me sit down?”

[honey-decadence]

Ignite (Haikyuu!! 2024 Fic Exchange)

"He cried as if he hadn't opened up for years. Actually, that was very likely the case."

CW: gn reader, exes to lovers, emotional reunion, crying, falling for each other again, catch up, nostalgia and reminiscing, teeeensy bit of angst followed up by a happy ending, minor oc (Haruto is reader's younger brother for this story, it's a super common name but nonetheless, any similarities to any real or fictional persons is purely coincidental)

Word Count: 5972

a/n: @szyvrue happy holidays! forgive me for running late but I hope Oikawa made it worth the wait! Thank you for waiting patiently! and thank you @lale-txt for hosting this event!

"I really missed you Y/N chan~" You could hear him sniffling, hugging your torso even tighter. "I never once forgot about you". The man you never stopped loving for years cried gently as those words stumbled out of his mouth.

How you ended up with your old flame in your arms once more with his head tucked into the crook of your neck and his hands rubbing your back, much broader than you last remembered him, was... a bit unexpected.

Thinking back on it, the chances were slim, almost obsolete really. He had made no announcement of returning home on his social media, both private and his professional accounts, he made no comment to his family or friends, minus a few according to him.

And here he was, clinging to you like a lost child, crying tears of joy in the middle of a park with the light from the giant lamp post flickering.

You beat the odds.

Making a pro volleyball player cry on his first night home was not on your list of things to accomplish before the year ended.

- .... . .-. . .----. .-.. .-.. / -... . / -. --- / -. . .-- / .-. --- -- .- -. -.-. . / ..-. --- .-. / -- .

"Let's go Seijoh Let's go!" you shouted enthusiastically. It was only a practice match for nationals, the high school boys needed all the practice they could get before rolling out on the big national stage in Tokyo but you couldn't help but cheer them on.

The game was tense, it was 24 to 23 with the predicted winning team being Aoba Johsai, players of both teams were desperately scrambling around to score that one decisive point.

You came to cheer on your younger brother, Haruto, a setter for the team and a third year. 

After finally being able to get off work early and taking a crowded train to get to a rival school's gym, managing to overcome a mix of bad luck and inconveniences, you finally were able to come watch a game your brother was playing in for the first time today. It was only about 20 minutes away from your old high school but the amount of people you had to slip through at the station made the adventure seem more arduous this evening.

The whistle blew and everyone on the court prepared for the opposing team's serve. Seijoh's defense managed to get the ball up in the air with your little brother following through by setting a perfect arc that no wing spiker could possibly complain about and that's when you noticed... someone.

Oikawa....

but not the one you dated. 

No, this Oikawa was... Takeru? Your eyes blinked a few times before they fixated on the young man, spiking the ball through the opposing team's defense with explosive power. 

Since when did he get this big? How old must he be now? Was he the same age as your brother?

A smile then grew on your face, reminiscing the past and remembering fondly on the times Oikawa Tohru, your then boyfriend, would stop by your house to drop off some snacks and goodies, accompanied by none other than a tiny Takeru chan after his little tikes volleyball practice. He was such a little munchkin then.

You remembered the times Takeru would slip up about something silly his uncle would do, like walking in on Oikawa shaking his butt in front of his bedroom mirror, getting too loud while watching a volleyball match on his computer and his mom yelling at him shortly after, or how lame he was for drooling on his pillow. Typical reportings of a 6 year old.

Of course Oikawa would chastise his nephew for this, clearly embarrassed about his privacy being on blast in front of all people, his partner.

You thought back to the time you and Oikawa were out on a date when Takeru would call Oikawa's number through some relative's phone number to ask if he could play with Oikawa's psp. It was then that Takeru would follow up with "why is it pink?" and that was the first and last time Oikawa would put his nephew on speaker.

Much to Oikawa's exasperation, amongst other questions about this games and hobbies, even if you didn't say anything, you found that trivia about Oikawa to be adorable and wished he'd show you more of the side of him then.

You found the whole thing to be really cute in fact, the way Oikawa would care for his nephew, even when he would be annoyed by Takeru, yelling at him on the phone only to further embarrass himself as the people around you two would turn and stare. 

It made for a good laugh, more for you than for Oikawa but you could see that it made him happy. You got a kick out of him and Takeru's interactions.

Oikawa was a sweetheart then before his insecurities revolving around the sport consumed him for quite some time.

You couldn't remember the exact argument where you had broken things off with him, there were too many where you argued about why he was so obsessed with the sport, some guy from another high school, and how prideful he was about it.

But what you did remember and regret all these years was when you raised your voice at him once, telling him to quit volleyball.

It wasn't necessarily for him to choose between you and the sport but more so that you couldn't understand his obsession, an obsession that both brought him so much joy and pain. 

You couldn't fathom why he compared himself to others in this sport and still complained about not being enough, why he was so fixated on crushing certain players instead of focusing more on his supportive teammates.

For him, it was his life, for you, it was madness. It became too much for you to handle admittedly.

You bit your tongue, remembering those words, how his face changed from that of a charming sweet young man to a defensive and envious monster. 

You still felt conflicted all those years, you had to speak up but ... was it okay for you to say it the way you did? Could you have told him in a much gentler manner? Were you fed up with his frustrations by that point?

Or maybe it was becaus-

The whistle blew for what seemed like too long, deafening to everyone in its vicinity and snapping you out of your trip down memory lane.

The opposing team puffed and heaved with a glum but satisfied look on their faces, the Seijoh boys won the match, their victorious roaring replacing the whistle.

.

.

.

You practically ran outside, hit by the freezing winter winds but forgoing all that to meet up with your brother after his match. Luckily, because of those white tracksuits, it make finding the Seijoh boys a lot easier in the dark evening.

"Haruto!" you shouted, taking extra long strides to reach your little brother. He and his team were waiting for the bus to arrive; waving his hands, your brother welcomed you kindly and of course standing next to him was Takeru.

He seemed smaller on the court, in fact both of the boys did, but now seeing him up close, you realized how much taller he was, almost towering over you and your brother.

"Hey! Long time no see!" Haruto remarked, "Did you escape from hell?"

"Oh shut up, it's already 8pm, isn't it past your bedtime?" you bantered back, earning a few chuckles from Takeru and the other teammates who overheard the interaction.

"Whatever, at least I'm not gonna be stuck in an office for the next 40 years like you!"

Rolling your eyes at your brother's comment, you noticed Takeru, awkwardly caught in self doubt: he looked like he wasn't sure whether to say hello or what but he seemed kinda tense. It's been over a decade, of course he wasn't going to know how he should approach his uncle's ex.

You turned and smiled warmly at Takeru, hoping that the warm gesture would make him relax around you.

"Takeru kun, do you remember me?" you chimed, also worried if he remembered you, internally praying that he did or otherwise this interaction would be getting more awkward real quick. 

The look on his face brightened up, relieved that it wasn't only him who was hit with nostalgia. While trying to maintain his composure, he chirped:

"Of course I do! I remember you came to my uncle's house once and sometimes he'd take me down the long way to my house just to drop off gifts for you."

"Oh you remember that? How funny!"

Your brother popped in, his eyes wide. "You guys met?" He seemed so perplexed by the situation, had Haruto really not remembered your ex?

Before you could respond, Takeru answered him: "My uncle and them dated when they were in high school but then he got dumped".

You had to hold back your laughter, even years later, Takeru was still as blunt as ever it seems. You wonder how often he'd get in trouble for being too honest.

"Haruto do you really not remember me talking to mom about his uncle? I could have sworn you two met once?" even you were puzzled by his shoddy memory. Oikawa had never entered your home but you do remember your younger brother teasing you about him, as per usual children's shenanigans.

He blinked twice, furrowing his brows, trying his best to remember how your ex looked but to no avail.

You sighed, "Forget it, I'll show you a picture of him at the house". You turned back to Takeru, genuinely curious as to what he's been up to all these years. Clearly he must have been inspired by his uncle to pursue volleyball all this time. Takeru probably kept in close contact with him once he went pro, you thought. "How have you been, Takeru? I'm surprised you remember me".

"I've been good! My uncle wasn't the only one who missed you Y/N san, I remember I really liked those checkerboard cookies you made for my uncle one time!" 

"Oh how sweet, you missed my cookies?" You almost wanted to crack up, of all people to run into tonight, you least expected to get along and catch up with your ex's nephew.

Your brother interjected, "I remember Y/N got mad at me once for eating a few of them and threw a wooden spoon at me" he grinned, too proud at his failed attempted robbery.

"Oh dude, my uncle got so pissed at me that I ate all the cookies" Takeru pipes up, his voice getting caught between the bouts of laughter.

Your eyes grew wide, catching that infectious and juvenile energy from Haruto and Takeru as your own voice raised in volume.

"Wait!" you interrupted, "Did Tohr-! Did Oikawa san never eat my cookies?"

The two paused, catching that slip up in your sentence. You stared at them intensely, warning that they shouldn't comment on it, like throwing daggers in their direction. 

"Ahh... Well... no." Takeru bursted out laughing along with Haruto. "He was really mad at me but honestly I thought he had some already! They were sitting there on his desk open and everything.

"Oikawa san told me the cookies were delicious? He really lied to me didn't he?" you half joked.

"Oh probably, he always tried to save face like that." He smirked.

"Takeru shut up already..." a low voice rumbled from the dark winter night, cutting the chit chat with an intense silence, despite the Seijoh team murmuring in the background.

A tall figure appeared from the crowd and stepped into the street light's range, making it clear who he was with every step forward.

Takeru, Haruto, and you stood extremely still, slowly taking in the man before you three: it was Tohru.

"Uncle!" Takeru shouted. Your face went white, wondering if it was really him and as if on cue, the one confirmation you needed presented itself...

"Yahoo Y/N san" he waved at you, seemingly unfazed by your presence. "What are you doing here?"

Turning your attention to the taller and broader Oikawa, you did your best to remain calm and collected.

"I came to see my little brother play in today's practice of course. The better question is why are you here?"

"I just landed in Japan about 4 hours ago... I had meant for this to be a surprise but it seems you caught me first before my friends. It can't be helped I guess." sheepishly grinning, like a criminal caught red handed.

"Uncle! You didn't say anything, why didn't you tell us?" Takeru looked annoyed but also gleeful, even if his tone and words sounded rough, the smile that plastered onto his face couldn't be more obvious. 

Oikawa whipped around to look at Takeru, "I just said I wanted my visit to be a surprise, were you not listening?" His brows furrowed but his smile remained as big as ever, happy to see his beloved nephew.

You noticed he had a slight stubble, likely from his long flight; his physique changed quite a bit, going from lean and fit to muscular and powerful looking. That much you could tell despite all the layers of clothing. You wondered what sort of diet he had to be on to maintain that athletic prowess. You took a deep inhale of the icy air, stopping yourself before your mind wandered... elsewhere.

Luckily, all it took was your little brother's pubescent voice crack to grab your attention to the present moment instead of ogling Oikawa. 

"Dude! Your uncle is Oikawa san? The one that plays for Argentina?" Haruto squeaked. "It's an honor to meet you sir!" his voice trembled, knowing he was a huge fan of your ex. Admittedly, you couldn't help but join your brother in watching Oikawa's games after hearing the rumors of him playing for a Latin American team from other alumni.

"Oh you don't have to be polite, I remember you Haruto" Oikawa sheepishly grinned, not expecting his ex's brother to be so formal. "I would have met up with you three sooner but I got caught up in a conversation with coach Irihata." he chuckled.

Your brother turned to you, whispering loudly:

"HE was your ex?? How do I not remember him??" his voice was shaking.

"I should be asking you about that airhead!" You teased him. "I knew you two met once".

"O-Oikawa san!" Haruto yelped, unable to bring down his excitement. "Could I ask-"

"Aoba Johsai!" Irihata's voice rang. "The bus is here! Let's go home". Oikawa looked back and smiled.

"Oh that brings me back"

Takeru and Haruto straightened out their backs and sighed. "I guess we gotta go now" Takeru said, "I want to stay and talk to you uncle!"

Oikawa raised his hand and placed it on Takeru's head, ruffling his short hair.

"You did good there, Takeru! Try working on your foot work some more so you can get a better timing for your approach. A setter is gonna do everything they can to accommodate but you gotta put in some work too. I'll see you later!"

"Sure unc! Bye!" He parted ways with you and Oikawa, your younger brother following suit, and ran along with their team to catch their bus. Their voices grew quieter the further they got.

"DUDE, you never said your uncle is Oikawa!?" 

"You never asked?? Besides he's still..." 

You were unable to catch what Takeru said but he was probably airing out Oikawa's dirty laundry once more. When you looked over at Oikawa, you swore you saw a vein pulse for a fraction of a second.

As the kids left, it was just you two standing there with the air growing a little awkward, unsure of how exactly to approach each other after so long. 

"So..." you started. His eyes grew noticeably big, awaiting your next phrase with much anticipation.

"You wanna tell me why you lied about those cookies?" you playfully glared at him, a smile erupting across your face. 

Oikawa's once tense shoulders dropped as soon as you uttered those words, laughing as he did, it seemed like he appreciated that playful nature you always had more than ever.

"Hmm I guess I gotta explain myself huh?" smirking, knowing that he was cornered. His 12 year secret was finally exposed to his ex and they demanded answers. "As expected of my ex~" he sighed defeatedly.  

Why did that... make your heart skip a beat?

You tried not to think much of it, it's been less than an hour that you meet in such a long time and already you want to be greedy, you want to know more about him.

Quickly, you thought on your feet. "Oikawa san, are you busy?" 

You couldn't tell from his face alone but something in his eyes dimmed a little when you addressed him by his family name. 

You panicked internally, it's not like you had meant to put distance between the two of you, you just weren't sure where you stood with Oikawa, it's been over a decade since you two broke up... would he misinterpret something?

Were you being the weird one here? Wanting to have dinner with your ex and catch up? Has he changed?

Maybe YOU gravely misread the situation? Has he become more foreign in the sense that he's used to more physical responses like hugs or ... kisses on the cheek?

Your face started to grow red at the thought of introducing yourself to Oikawa so... forwardly, it just felt too... romantic for you, even when you saw other international volleyball teams greet each other this way, cultures and mannerisms that seemed like a huge offense here in Japan must be so normal for him now.

Suddenly, an idea popped into your mind, one that could hopefully bring back that shine in his eyes.

"Are you hungry? You wanna go eat at that ramen shop you used to love?" You smiled fondly. That ramen shop meant so much to him, it's where he and his team went after their games, win or lose.

The glimmer in his eyes returned, cocking his head and grinning at you, as if you read his mind.

"Oh I'd love that Y/N!" He chirped before putting his hand on his mouth, his eyes wide. "Ah could I call you that? Are we still on a first name basis?"

Your heart picked up, why is your face feeling hot again? Was he feeling the same? Or is he just more open now?

You mustered up and did the best to not let your excitement break through in your voice; you tried to assume this was purely platonic, there's no way you wanted your heart broken tonight or end up disappointed. You had to set your expectations low.

"Yes that's fine, as long as you're okay with that."

You two started to walk in the direction of the ramen shop, Oikawa suggesting first heading to the closest station and getting off a couple of stops closest, proud of himself for still remembering this city route and transportation.

"Y'know Y/N, you can call me Tohru. I really don't mind".

.. - .----. ... / ..-. --- --- .-.. .. ... .... / - --- / ... - .- .-. -

Dinner was delicious, maybe it was the 10 hour work day that seasoned your ramen and Oikawa's long flight that gave the food much more flavor, punching you both with its savory and salty goodness.

Maybe it was because you two chatted as if nothing happened, both of you lightly acknowledging the break up while slurping up noodles and maybe that's all it took, just a good meal to lighten the mood of the topic.

You admitted to Oikawa that your little brother was a fan of his, despite him not connecting the dots earlier and realizing who Oikawa was. 

You recounted a few plays of his where he set the ball in a few crucial moments that turned the tide of the game. How Oikawa's fierce serves still made you tremble, remembering the deafening sound of the ball as it slammed the gym floor. Before you knew it, you gained an understanding and appreciation for the sport, something Oikawa definitely noticed during the conversation.

Maybe it was how chatty he was now, recounting his stories and mishaps in Argentina, living abroad, the struggles of learning a foreign language and realizing that the language textbooks prepared him for nothing. 

Meeting a former rival/underclassmen of his during his trip to Brazil out of the blue was probably his most memorable story by far. He seemed proud of the guy, recounting how badly he used to play in the one year they interacted with each other during matches now kicking ass in beach volleyball.

Oikawa seemed much more... content... and less tied down by his failures and shortcomings. He focused only on the good that happened in his life since graduating. 

You felt that flame light up again, wondering if he was feeling the same. If he even had room in his heart for you to visit once again or if he was open to the idea. 

During the conversation, it took you aback to find out he was single, only mentioning it to the shop owner after a few prodding questions about Oikawa and his love life became overbearing, interrupting the flow of his and your dinner. It didn't help that he paid for your meal as well as his, making it more incriminating the more you two denied that it was a date.

.

.

It was well past 10pm at this point but the two of you strolled by the neighborhood, taking in all the nostalgic sights and smells of the night, retelling stories from your guy's school days and growing up in different parts of the city.

You felt like Oikawa was enjoying himself, not caring that he's fighting against jet lag. You couldn't help but wonder and interpret this as him wanting to spend more time with you, as if he didn't want to go home yet and stalled for time.

The way he patted you or would touch your shoulder set you ablaze. Again, maybe it's just a culture difference and him living abroad made him more open to this type of affection but even when you two had dated before, he was never this outwardly affectionate and attentive. Was it him flirting and subtly wanting to be around you more? Is he just being friendly? Is this a new normal for him and not realize it?

It was then his voice lulled you out of your thoughts, pointing at a familiar park with a swing set. "Y/N you remember this place? Let's go, come on." Excitedly, he gestured for you to follow him and like a moth attracted to light, you followed the brilliant warmth of those embers.

As you sat down on the swing set, you chuckled to yourself, raising your hand to try to stifle the noise but unfortunately for you, Oikawa didn't let this go unnoticed.

"What's up Y/N?"

"Nothing! It's just.." you paused, trying to catch your breath. "I think this is where we came to hang out after our first date, right?"

Oikawa froze, pondering his surroundings before speaking. "Hey yeah, no wonder this seemed familiar." His face flushed a little as he swiftly turned to you, raising his hands up. "Pure coincidence! I promise!"

"Tohru you're fine. I don't really mind at all!" you reassured him. Something about this hangout seemed juvenile to you but not in a negative way. It was nostalgic but it also felt like you two were back in 2012, reliving your high school prime, imagining that you two had snuck out of your homes to meet up by a local park. Things you do only when you're dating someone.

"Y/N" Oikawa spoke calmly, contrary to his excitement just a few moments ago. "Thank you."

"...."

".... What for?" You were genuinely confused. Did you do something just now? You were freezing from the winds blowing over you two but you still felt a rush of blood running through you. The way the sound of your name came out of his mouth just now melted you. 

He took a deep breath, leaning his head back like how he concentrates for his serves in between time outs. 

"Thank you for being you." 

Oh now he's done it. Your heartbeat had never pounded this loudly in your ears before until now.

"You weren't someone I was planning to see when I came back but I can't say I'm not happy that I did."

There was suddenly a twinge of guilt that struck you when he said that.

He continued, "I know we haven't spoken in years but I feel so happy that we're able to have a conversation like this, and even joke about it back at the ramen shop. I don't think I can say other people would be so willing to do the same. So thank you."

You bit your lip, feeling progressively worse and worse the more he voiced his appreciation for you. 

You knew what it was that kept eating at you, you knew exactly what made you feel so guilty. But how would you tell Oikawa? How are you going to tell him without upsetting him? Did that memory still haunt him just as much as it did for you? 

You felt so conflicted, you wanted to tell him how much you supported him on the sidelines, with each match he was in. You wanted to tell him so badly how much you missed him, almost giving in a few times to reach out to him and unblock him from social media.

But what message would that send to him? He was living in a different world, enjoying his time abroad and living his best life in a sport that greatly rewards him. Who were you to be a barrier to all that? These stupid selfish feelings kept reappearing from time to time, in between your other exes, wondering if Oikawa would ever take you back.

Just how-

"Y/N!" Oikawa raised his voice. You hadn't noticed it but he was no longer gently swinging himself on the swing next to you, he was crouched on one knee with his hand on your forearm. His other hand reached out into his coat and pulled out a handkerchief, handing it to you. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

He sounded concerned, and honestly, with good reason: from his perspective, one minute he was having a conversation with an old friend and the next thing he knew, his ex hung their head and heard sniffling, watching tears fall and stain their work pants.

You had been overthinking, a habit that had a double edge. A habit that he was keen on spotting.

Taking the handkerchief, you wiped away the tears from your face before muttering out your next set of words. 

"Tohru... I'm sorry" you whispered. "I feel like... everything you just said is undeserved."

He tilted his head to the side, curious about what you had meant.

"Undeserved in what way?"

"I just.. You've said so many good things about me and yet... I said nothing but horrible things to you years ago" Taking another deep breath, you continued. "I can't believe you don't resent me."

Oikawa's hand on your forearm grasped you firmly but gently enough to convey what he's feeling. He looked into your eyes and flashed you a bright smile.

"Y/N I don't resent you at all. I'm sorry that you've carried this burden all these years."

He shifted his weight, switching knees to lean on while the other one got the blood flowing again. His other hand hovered over your knee before finally resting it there, rubbing soft circles onto it.

"I'm sorry that I got upset whenever you told me to stop being so obsessed with volleyball. I'm really sorry that you had to date someone who couldn't love himself at the time. I assume that this is what you're talking about, yeah?" His voice was sincere, almost shaking as well.

You sniffled before you could respond, not wanting to risk some water running out of your nose in front of Oikawa.

"Yeah... I knew volleyball meant everything to you but maybe... maybe I could have said things more gently then"

"But you did Y/N, at least at first. I was the one who was too stubborn to realize how badly I was doing before realizing it was too late"

You thought back to the times Oikawa would rant to you about some Ushi guy or how he enjoyed seeing the fallen look on his underclassmen’s face after a tournament. It bothered you how often he would bring it up into conversations with you, constantly seeking validation and complaining to you when you two first dated, accumulating frustration until it wasn't bearable any longer.

Maybe your anger was justified.

But the physical cringe your body made when you thought back to that one day; the day you lashed out at him to quit volleyball.

You solemnly smiled, pushing yourself gently on the swing now. "I'm so happy you didn't listen to me then". You placed your hand on top of his, and to your surprise, he didn't retract or flinch.

You looked up at him, tears running down your face now. "Tohru, I'm so sorry I told you to quit all those years ago. I felt horrible knowing that had you listened to me, you would have lived a very different life."

The winds of coming rain clouds felt sharp against the moist parts of your eyes and cheeks but the tears wouldn't stop running. You had such a range of emotions hitting you all at one: guilt, sadness, pride, joy, relief, it all overwhelmed you.

It was just as shocking that your ex still held compassion for you, for reasons that you can only guess but you couldn't be certain. 

Oikawa took a deep breath and stood up, taking your hand and gesturing for you to follow and as soon as you got up on your own two feet, he went in for the kill shot:

He wrapped his big arms around you, squeezing you until you squeaked, giggling at the sound. "Y/N you don't have to apologize for anything, it's alright."

"Tohru..." your arms slowly wrapped around him too, your hands grasping at the back of his coat as you let the tears fall some more as you hid your face in his shoulder. Partly because you were in such awe at what was happening and partly because of the cold.

"I never resented you Y/N", he continued. "When we broke up.. I never felt anger towards you. I was really mad at myself for losing you." His face gradually sunk into the crook of your neck, now hiding his own face.

"I had so many reasons to fly to Argentina and you were one of them.."

"Tohru..."

"I thought to myself, ' 'This worthless pride of mine has a price, I better make sure I do my damn best to come out on top'. I had nothing to lose after I lost you Y/N".

"I... Tohru" a sense of calm took over you, finally quelling that weight that was on your consciousness after 12 years. "That pride was never worthless you know" you reassured him. “It only made you resilient and stronger. You certainly proved me wrong.”

A gust of wind slashed through you two, almost knocking you over had it not been for Oikawa hugging you tighter. As much as you two knew a storm was coming, there was something... missing. There was something that you needed to tell him.

You felt something... wet ...

But it wasn't from the sky, no it was on your neck; a few drops of tears fell from his pretty face. From his sniffling, you knew that this man broke down; his breathing hitched and heaved in an irregular pattern and his nails began to dig into you.

You knew at that moment, the break up hurt him just as much as it did you. He cried as if he hadn’t opened up for years.

Actually, that was very likely the case.

"Tohru, it's alright" you patted him, doing your best to comfort him now. Similar to the times when he'd just cry to you after losing big matches. He would never admit it to most people but you knew Oikawa was an emotional mess, a huge crybaby for sure. It was something you found so endearing about him, something that you're weirdly glad hasn't changed after all these years. The way he opened up to you and a selected few made you feel so special. All these years later and he still had that trust in you? Your heart softened.

On reflex, you turned your head to plant a small kiss on his stubbly cheek and-

.

..

...

That's when you both froze; his breathing hitched and his grasp on your coat grew tighter; his squeezing making the synthetic material screech audibly.

Did that... That was muscle memory right?

Your heart picked up the pace, drumming loudly in your ears, your body temperature rising and those cold gusts of wind suddenly started to feel refreshing instead of prickly.

"Ah! Tohru!! That was.. It was a force of habit!" you panicked. It was like those years of dating charged head on, possessing your limbs and taking action, doing what felt right. What felt like second nature.

As you tried to push yourself away from Oikawa, to your surprise, he just held onto you tighter, bringing you closer towards him and offsetting your balance to where you practically had your weight in his arms and should he let go, you would be falling to the damp sand. You had no other choice but to surrender to your fate, your life was in his hands now, quite literally. 

"I really missed you Y/N chan~. I never once forgot about you" he whispered, almost too afraid to declare it, to have his heart broken again but he dared take the risk. He sniffled a bit more all the while holding you in a sturdy lock; you couldn't see his face but you knew the man you never stopped loving was bawling his eyes out for you.

Recollecting yourself after processing all the events that lead to this very moment, you lifted a hand and started rubbing his scalp, something that was also reminiscent of your time together, something you remembered about Oikawa always looking forward to after dates or even when you would pass by him in the hallways during lunch period.

At this point, it was obvious that those embers you held onto for years burned brightly tonight, reigniting themselves at that first spark from when he first appeared from the shadows back at the gymnasium entrance.

The hand that was rubbing his scalp dropped slowly, cupping the side of his face, prompting Oikawa to raise his head and look you in the eyes. Maybe it was the tears or maybe it was a genuine light in his eyes when you held him in the palm of your hand, you know something just... synced in that moment. 

You smiled softly, gliding your thumb over his icy cheek and wiping away a tear. Only that in doing so, it landed on your face, making you flinch.

"Pffft" Oikawa bursted into a fit of laughter, admiring your reaction. You followed suit; his laughter ringing in your ears and enveloping you. His breath escaped and dissipated into the cold night with each giggle he let out, mixing with yours.

As everything settled down, you brought his face closer to yours and without missing a beat, you spoke softly:

"Do you want to try again?"

..-. --- .-. / - .... .- - / --- .-.. -.. / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / .. ... / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / .. -. / -- -.-- / .... . .- .-. -

[llovelyclouds]

notes on cassiopeia the first

here's all my notes on cassiopeia (my beloved) that i thought seemed relevant during my tlt reread!

(you can find the rest of my posts from this project here!)

CASSIOPEIA THE FIRST

titles:

Fourth saint to ascend, (??) gen, founded the sixth

notes from harrow the ninth:

Name origins, from the pronunciation guide at the end of htn: "NOTE: Cassiopeia's most famous namesake is the vain queen of Greek mythology who chained Andromeda to a rock, but this does Cassiopeia the First a disservice, as she was honestly just a universally beloved and clever human being who made beautiful meals with the occasional finger error. The evolutionary pressure of Lyctorhood has, alas, selected for jerks."

Came up with the magma metaphor for the river that John later uses (htn. pg. 94)

The only lyctor to last seven minutes in full physical submersion in the river (htn. pg. 97)

Died trying to lure an RB through the current of the river. It followed her, but the spirits killed her, and the RB emerged unscathed 20 mins later (htn. pg. 97)

Had a ceramics collection (htn. pg. 105)

Was able to perform necromancy her first time in the river (htn. pg. 156)

For some reason, the fact that Harrow was also capable of this was part of what gave John the idea that something was up with her birth… interesting!! What does this say about Cassiopeia?

Specialised in studying the river (htn. pg. 171)

Coined the term "periscoping" in regards to the RB's (htn. pg. 173)

Was great at cooking, but once cut off a finger that fell into the food and didn’t mention it until everyone had eaten it (htn. pg. 231)

was a lightweight lol (htn. pg. 268)

Died fighting the seventh RB, Varun (htn. pg. 333)

Brought the RB into the river alongside its brain (htn. pg. 337)

was the person to tell Mercy that blood wards can be bypassed with the genetic material of a close relative (htn. pg. 474)

notes from nona the ninth:

was originally brought on Johns team by oversight execs to handle contracts as their lawyer, but was "on their side before the first year was over" (ntn. pg. 13)

"C- was panicking because with the project over she was getting recalled to England and didn't want to go, she'd got N- and didn't want to leave her, refused to admit they were dating even though we all knew." - John 5:20 (ntn. pg. 73)

specifically worked in contract law (ntn. pg. 99)

when she found out about the cow wall they had to lock her in the kitchen so she could throw up in private for a while (ntn. pg. 192)

"C- kept saying, Pick one. Are we more invested in proving this new plan is bullshit, or in saving you? I was like, It's both, how can it not be both. C- was like, It can't be both. Pick one and stick to it. Decide what you give a fuck about." (ntn. pg. 280)

"'Does God know why the Sixth House left?' 'I'm assuming some grisly moral reason that you're about to impart,' said Ianthe, 'and I want to warn you against sounding like a tract.' [...] 'Cassiopeia the First left us instructions years ago,' said Camilla. 'We left for a lyctor.'" - Ianthe & Cam (ntn. pg. 335)

"Cassy played long games." - Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 336)

"C- had been saying, Can't we gin up an act of good wizardry? Any way to stabilize the North America glacier? Any way to trap the atmosphere over the Northern Territory, show them we can fix things here?" (ntn. pg. 397)

“C- admitting out of nowhere she’s dating N-. All of us like, What? We've known for a year? Go ahead and get married already, we've got a nun. N- was all, That’s not legal. C- of all people said, Who cares. That’s how bad it was. [...] C- and N- got married right over there, you can’t see it now ‘cause of the rubbish. I made flowers grow for them out of the garden, but they came out… weird. Some of the roses had teeth. C- and N- thought that was hilarious. [...] The dome meant we hadn’t had full sunlight in a while. It was beautiful anyway. I cried the whole service. I couldn't remember the last time I’d eaten food.” (ntn. pg. 400)

“At this point my people were like, John, what the fuck? What the fuck is happening? We were all yelling at each other. First time I’d ever seen C- angry.” (ntn. Pg. 401) 

 “C- said, John, your problem is that you care less about being a saviour than you do about meting out punishment. I said, C-, I was just your best man! C- said, You still are. That doesn’t change the fact that you can be quite the most appallingly vindictive person I have ever met.” (ntn. pg. 401)

“They’d shot C- first… and right in front of my eyes they shot N-. Bubble wrap. I don’t know what happened to them..” (ntn. Pg. 406)

“Cass and Mercy and I worked on cell thanergy- we need thanergy, fresh thanergy, to activate…” - Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 471)

[sullustangin]

Inspired by that Edna Mode post you reblogged, I'm curious in the early days of Eva's creation of her Voidhound persona did the standard Voidhound costume have to go through any adjustments because some part of the costume was impractical or unsafe? And were there any suggestions on things to add to the costume "because that's what the pirates in holofilms wore" that were shot down without even trying them out it was clear it was a bad idea?

Oh, golly! You've tapped the lore vein. I'm so sorry in advance. I also apologize for being SLOW on this because I had to remember/write down some of the headcanon explanations (because I sometimes forget that the Voidy costume isn't canon.....).

~~

I wrote about the appearance and the influences here in our universe, basically making the Voidhound costume an ode to the Shadow and other pulp mystery-solving heroes. There isn't a perfect Voidhound armor in game right now, but Columni Restored Smuggler/Targeter (pub side) is the current one in use for cut scenes. As for how Eva remembers it:

~~

The process of creating the costume was actually pretty fun. It came hand-in-hand with winning Nok Drayen's treasure.

Eva was a just-turned-20 moron, but she was streetwise enough to understand that everyone was going to want to be with her...or bump her off. She was already smart enough not to sign anything as 'Eva Corolastor.' EC sufficed at the gaming tables. But how did she keep her head now that she'd inherited the rep of best smuggler in the galaxy? Risha, as ever, was three steps ahead of her. "You can't walk around looking like that and demand a higher paycheck." She tossed Eva a fashion magazine. "You need an upgrade in general, but look at the expensive stuff first."

The costume came about as a collaboration between Eva and Risha. There was a spandex version, with a mask. "Not enough armor, not enough deflection capacity." "No matter how shiny it is." There was a Mando version, because it had a helmet, but that was veto'ed by Corso. "Letting people know you're a girl will make men like me think twice."

"Assume the lowest common denominator of the galaxy is Corso."

"Hey now!"

"You said it. Sorta."

Bowdaar stuck his head into the hallway from the galley.. "If I see a bounty hunter approaching me, I rip off arms first, ask questions later."

Eva pointed in his direction. "That's a better argument."

The form of the costume finally arrived while Eva and Risha were watching an old holofilm. The plot twist was surprise/secret twins, a comedy of errors for one hundred minutes.

"Wanna be my twin sister?" Eva asked Risha. "The costume. That bossy bad bitch thing we're making."

"...that would lend us some flexibility as to who actually does the negotiating. If one gets caught, the other shows up in the costume, reasonable doubt -- gotta let us go." Risha sucked the melty ice cream off her spoon as she rolled the idea around in her head. "She's going to have to make a hell of an impression if the same audience sees her twice, played by two people."

"Acting lessons for each other might help." Eva gestured at the holo screen. "Not like plotline acting, but compromising with each other and how we normally act to create that character that gets the big paycheck."

"The costume is also going to have to cover a lot of recognizable features, least of all what a pale freak you are," Risha quipped, holding out her arm next to Eva's.

"You might plan on peeling yourself back to 20 when you're 90, but I assume I'll live and die in the same skin. Plus I'm still on iodine for the cosmic radiation." Eva got to her feet. "Stand up."

Immediately: "Lifts," they said in unison; Eva was short.

"Padding."

"Binding or compressing."

"Can we leave that to the costume to make the illusion? We need to move in this thing."

"And let's not forget looking good."

~~

The button-down shirt. The vests. The neck scarf, to add a pop of color. The black blastweave greatcoat and trousers. The boots.

They had a fight over the rebreather mask (Eva no, Risha yes), but that was settled when Bowdaar pointedly hooked a claw into the mask and ripped it off -- and took half of Risha's foundation with it; the humidity in there had steamed the makeup off. No masks. Thick cake of makeup instead, in a foundation shade halfway between them, with complimenting colors for both.

There was another fight about the hat. "I hate hats," Eva said, eyeballing the atrocity Risha had on her head. "One more thing to get ripped up or ripped off. Helmet, if anything."

"I couldn't think of a more inelegant piece of gear," Risha sneered. "The hat can cast a shadow, obscuring the face in holos and in person without any risk to the makeup. It can be made of blastweave. Also." Risha drew out a long, thin hatpin. "You'll have at least five to ten of these in your hair at any time. Think of them as additional weapons."

To make her point. she stabbed Corso's sandwich on the table.

"Now, now, ain't nothing a that a toothpick couldn't handle," he drawled as he plucked it back out of his food. Corso had gotten used to the constant argument over Miss Dark and Broody and Paid Better.

~~

Then Akaavi Spar, Mandalorian of Clan Spar, came on staff and things really got fun.

She was surprisingly impressed by the costume. "Thought you'd hate it for the duplicitous nature," Eva barbed as she spun around in the greatcoat, as Risha finished removing her hat.

"I think it is a tool of cowards, but your people have a preference for live dogs as opposed to dead lions. For its function, it serves purpose," Akaavi stated, leaning back against the bulkhead in the lounge. "It also presents some interesting tactics, if you don't manage to kill yourself first."

"I like the sound of that," said Eva, as Risha said, at the same time, "That's her job. I'm just supposed to look the part."

First: after a mishap with a jetpack and, on a separate occasion, rocket boots, Akaavi applied a vigorous coating of flame retardant to all of the costumes.

Then came the delicate, almost gossamer-thin comm line that Akaavi threaded through each and every hat with such skill. No earpieces needed; Eva could be fed lines by Risha and vice versa. "Don't act surprised. Mandalorians are self-sufficient," Akaavi calmly said when Eva caught her one morning, early, sitting in the lounge and doing the dainty work.

That made the knitting thing much less of a shock later.

Customized smoke pellets and flash-bang grenades. Selectively activated hidden pockets. The final version of Eva's holdout knife set-up. The hand-held zipline launcher. Those were all Akaavi's contributions as well.

~~

Then came Corellia.

"The press is calling you the Voidhound," Akaavi reported as she flipped through pages on the Holonet.

"What a stupid, unoriginal name," huffed Risha. She eventually found the hat annoying, while Eva found that it grew on her.

"Hound caught the wolf. And the press gave it to me, so that's one thing I don't have to give to them. Anything we called this thing would be a tell on ourselves," Eva rationalized as she lined up a bunch of shots on the bar. "We were going to have to name this suit sooner or later."

"It's taken on a life of its own," agreed Akaavi. "It is not you. Yet it is."

"I'd like to keep it as a business partner only."

~~~

As a sort of postscript, the deployable hanglider got one test flight on Ziost before Eva disappeared.

[rad10active-ketchup]

How did i dream up an entire fucking horror game/Movie help????

So basically i was with my mom at some amusement park i think? And there was a butcher shop?? But it only sold like pork, kept live pigs in an fenced in area and would also cook for you so idk and as i passed by the shop i thought to myself "Sure would be strange if a pig had human eyes here" and i look down and sure enough there is a pig with sunken in eyes and human eyes staring at the sky saying "They aren't always dead" which i think what it was meaning is that some animals are cooked alive which also i think that was also referencing the fact it was really hot outside where the pigs were and they were suffering from that. anyways i was horrified and the butcher came out (Nice dude, as far as i know, he never did anything wrong in the dream) and greeted us, and i looked back at the pig and it turned out to just be a pink like, outside electronics cover thing? (idk what is called) that was dirty and had some really dark black spots on the top, He just scrapped some of the spots off with is spatula and went back inside, and me and my mom went inside too, to order some food. So then all the lights flickered and went dim, and there as a small child, completely blacked out aside from the glowing eyes. And a 20 minute timer started i had like, no fear for some reason, irl i'd be terrified lol but i chased the figure around the building, with a knife, i was going to fucking stab a shadow. The figure never really moved, but as you got close it would teleport to the next room with an open door and heres the funny part I apparently figured how to kill the ghost thing because i remember a roblox game i beat once??? (In the dream lore, irl this game dont exist +i dont play roblox) Anyways I chased it to the basement stairwell, closed the door and turned off the lights, which in turn trapped it, and stabbed it. And the timer was at like 2 mins something so i was cutting it close (I think all the people in the building would die when it hit zero) any ways this is like the third dream i've had that is like a game/movie and made me scared of an animal. The first two were baboons and now its pigs also one of the baboon dreams had a fucking credits sequence lmao

[ratatatastic]

"Who's idea was it to put the cone on your head for the parade? Was that all you?" "Zach Eisenberg [Director, Executive Operations]—I think is his name—he takes care of us a lot at Amerant Bank Arena. I don't know his exact role with the team but he's just kind-of always around, and helps us out. He's friends with Brooks [Koepka.] I think he helps Brooks when he comes to the games. Anyways he found a pylon or I think I might have told him—I was pretty drunk at the time but I think I told him to go get a py—'if you could find a pylon, find one!' 'Cuz they sprung that speech on me, kind-of, last second, you know, five minutes before I was supposed to go up there. I'm like, 'What the fuck am I gonna say?' So I had him go grab the pylon and I grabbed it on the side of the stage right before I was gonna do my speech. And luckily all the clips are of that, you know, me telling him to go fuck himself... 'cuz the rest of my speech was terrible. There's really nothing to it! And I'm so happy that, you know, all the clips are only of that so!" "Yeah, we didn't know you said anything else! I thought that was the entire speech!" "That's all that matters!" "Exactly, exactly! I got away with it there!"

The Cam & Strick Podcast | 7.30.24 (x)

i love finding out they basically told ekky he was gonna have to do a whole speech 5 minutes before he was up while hes been drenched from rainwater and alcohol for like the past 6 hours absolutely pissed out of his mind like yeah no wonder his speech basically culminated to THANK YOU SOUTH FLORIDA AND ALSO GIVE IT UP FOR MY D PARTNER WOOOOO yeah that tracks

"But what golf tournament* were you at shortly after that? Somebody was dressed like a cone? Was that Lomberg who was dressed in like a costume? A cone costume?" "He came—Brooks came up to you—" "No, that was his buddy, that was his buddy. He was actually a Sunrise police officer. I actually saw him last night at the Zach Bryan concert! But yeah, no, that's one of his buddies. No, he was completely put to bed the day after. Right? Like he texted me—I personally didn't care, like, how many people at a hockey game are calling me a cone and telling Barkov he's got no hands like it's—you know, that's hockey. That's sports, right? So I didn't give a shit but—yeah, no, it was all in good fun. And then I got a way to get him back! It's perfect!" "But when you did see the first video of him in the box—and I remember watching that, I'm like, 'this motherfucker is rolling esctasy!' His eyes were fuckin' gigantic, he's like, 'Aaargghh.' Like, 'I can't take him, he's calling me a cone! I can't—' But that is kind-of odd that a professional athlete is gonna call you a cone and he's like a fan of yours...it's just—it was really bizarre!" "Goofy!" "Yeah..." "And his eyes were black which, you know..." "What does that mean?" "I just know what that means... and he was fucked up, you know..." "Yeah, yeah! He was definitely fucked up and he agreed that he was fucked up. And he apologised so I didn't care, obviously. And then when I was at that golf event I should've thrown a beer at his backswing or something—at the LIV event when he was actually competing? I should've fucked with him but I couldn't do it... I couldn't—I couldn't find the courage to throw something at him..." "So did he reach out to you like that night? And say, 'Hey, dude... I was just joking, you know...'" "'I took some pills and...'"

*2023 LIV Golf Team Championship (Miami) held from Oct. 20-22 in Doral

[and i suppose more context here lombo and koepka are friends and he even showed up to his cupday when he went golfing in parkland and not to mention that lombo facilitated koepka apologising to ekky so its why the whole cone costume came to be really]

theres a lot more context about this incident and the ensuing storm after it so for archival sakes here are articles about it (x)(x)(x)(x)(x) because its quite a saga but its water under the bridge and there's only so much tabloid-esque coverage thats been reignited after the ekky speech i can take about an athlete who's dumb enough to insult another guy while hes drunk off as his ass in a fucking public setting

but anyways i think its really funny that i said to myself wow thats an oddly petty thing to admit to you know the whole wanting to throw a beer at his backswing ekky... for such a good vibes sweet man who like the only thing youve particularly said about the cone novella is "we'll never be buddies" to which you quickly retracted and then went "holding ill will against somebody and pulling negativity in your body is never a good thing"

and then i remembered who he attended the liv event with and it all made sense

behind every aqua whos being a little mean there is a much worse much more evil looming presence who is encouraging them down this dark path (a gem but especially a june gem)

truly a tale as old as time

[veemo4]

2023 Media Thread (Re-do to add a Read More Link)

Spark The Electric Jester 3:

Man I was holding off on spoilers for MONTHS until the holidays when I could get this game, and I only beat it in the beginning of the year and well…HOLY SHIT I didn’t know I needed existentialism in my funny little platformer- Gameplay is INSANELY solid, like honestly some of my favorite platforming controls I have ever used! Music is top notch as well!

Nier Automata: The End of YoRHa Edition:

Holy fuck how did I manage to avoid spoilers for this game for YEARS??? That ending was beautiful~ (Yes I did do all the main endings)

Chrono Trigger: I should preface this by saying I did modify this game a tiiiiny bit to have PS4 button prompts and fixing the Classic filter. Other than that, I can see why it’s a lot of people’s favorite RPG! Short enough in case you wanna replay it, and the foundation of the NG+ system definitely helps incentivize replays! Can’t wait to play Chrono Cross!

Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII:

I binged both FFXIII and FFXIII-2 during October and November of last year, but took a short break to avoid burnout. And well, yeah this game was neat! I will admit though that since there’s no way to REWIND time like in Majora’s Mask that I got INSANELY stressed out but that didn’t take away from the sweet release of seeing these characters I love finally get their well-deserved happy ending :)

Mega Man Zero:

I put this one off and on throughout like 2 years because I just wasn’t good at it, but it taught me a VERY good lesson in perseverance! Really excited to play Zero 2!

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Reunion: ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK ;w; Story was pretty…alright for the most part, but I couldn’t feel attached to any of the original characters :/ Honestly my eyes were on Zack just…being real with what’s going on. I may not feel bad for when people he cares about dies, but I can EASILY emphasize with him because I know that HE knows them. Knows them more than we ever will know. Also the gameplay and music are fucking stellar.

Fire Emblem Warriors: Three Hopes:

I should preface all of this by saying I don’t remember what order I beat all of these in lmao. Anyways my route was Golden Wildfire and the story for it is such an improvement over its equivalent in Three Houses!!! I love Shez so much as a protagonist even if his outfit is a tiny bit dumb.

Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker

Man I really wanted to like this. And like, music and area wise I loved it! But the story feels…It just doesn’t feel like the finality for all we’ve done so far. I could not care at all for Meteion because they spend approximately like 20 or 30 minutes making us meet them and then throwing us IMMEDIATELY into the angst like, no. This isn’t even a case of “Well I don’t care but I can understand why others do” NO THE GAME MAKES YOUR WOL FEEL BAD AS WELL, MEANING YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO CARE! NO! I DON’T! I was able to at least pretend a little bit to roleplay as needed but man. At least Footfalls and the post-endwalker dungeon themes kick ass though. (Warrior of Light’s name for me is M’bahlon Tia)

Kirby’s Return to Dream Land Deluxe

SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE I love kirby games sm and this is no exception. REALLY loved how hard the Magolor Epilogue got at certain points though that was great.

Fire Emblem Awakening

I CAN SEE WHY THIS SAVED THE FRANCHISE WHEN IT CAME OUT!! It’s a REALLY good game! I went with the default male Robin settings since that’s what’s in Smash Bros. And man just, everything about this game is AMAZING!!! Sadly cannot see myself replaying it anytime. I could just load my endgame save and grind out support conversations with other characters or do that…new game plus thing I think it was?

Another Eden: The Cat Beyond Time and Space: Bound Wills and the Hollow Puppeteer

I did this event initially back when it came out (and in fact is the main reason why I played the game in the first place) But I got horrible units and died super often, and revived every chance I got. But losing my save data and getting a better unit HEAVILY boosted my chances of getting through the event and man, it was a lot of fun! I love seeing tiny mona :3 JUST LOOK AT HOW SMOL HE IS AAAAAAAAA

Mighty Gunvolt Burst:

I had a lot of fun with this one! I used one of the DLC characters (I think they’re the Zero character from Mighty Number 9 but) it’s a great romp!

EDIT: ALSO SHOULD MENTION IT FUCKING OWO’D ME

Final Fantasy XV

“Walk tall…my friends.” I got this game YEARS ago but haven’t truly delved into it recently. And well… That ending got to me. It really did. The gameplay took me so long to get used to (especially since I had been more used to the more refined gameplay of Final Fantasy 7 Remake 3 years prior) Music is amazing, love the characters! I just wish the other episodes were finished and weren’t just put in a novel :/

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

HOLY FUCK THIS GAME WAS SO COOL. I always heard like, right, about how good this game was but I figured it was just nostalgia talking for people. NOPE. As someone who’s first paper mario game was super (never beat it, I was a really stupid child) and then played Sticker Star (Again, very stupid child but also that game is bullshit because everything is so obtuse and it sucks) But this? This was a big breath of fresh air. I am so excited to go back and play 64 and Super!!!

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Honestly? Way better than I was expecting. You can FEEL nintendo had a strangle-hold on the movie’s production though from how Chris Pratt in the final movie actually fucking voice acts somewhat (it’s a start), there’s no bad Illumination tropes, Peach is a dragoon, Toad and Bowser easily steal the show, and just, ALL THE REFERENCES WOW. EVEN THE NEWER THINGS. I didn’t see any Paper Mario or Mario & Luigi references though which makes me sad. I hope that if there’s a sequel it’s actually better and doesn’t fall into any traps movie sequels usually do, maybe even say if the other kingdoms from Mario Odyssey are in this universe (and maybe Isle Defino) The movie definitely could have used an extra 20 minutes spread throughout to add more to the main group dynamic.

Mega Man Zero 2

OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO MUCH BETTER BALANCE-WISE HOLY SHIT Cyber-elves requirements to be leveled up were MASSIVELY lowered and the enemy AI isn’t as overly aggressive! Loved the music too, especially Departure and the ending theme which was adapted for the song Clover! Can’t wait to do Zero 3!

WARE WA MESSIAH NARI! HAHAHA!

Mega Man Zero 3 was really good, but either I am getting way too good at these games or they are getting easier haha. Loved the music and gameplay though, and how Cyber Elves were handled here is absolutely the best they have ever been! If there’s any game in this series I am gonna replay, it’s Zero 3 without a doubt! On to Mega Man Zero 4, the last of the GBA era.

Mega Man Zero 4

I finally did it. I beat the entire Mega Man Zero series. While I do not agree with how the parts and cyber elf system were handled, It was not a bad experience by any means! It felt nice following Zero’s character arc throughout these games. I’m maybe gonna take a break before I tackle Mega Man ZX, but hey, I feel like that game’s gonna be fun! It’s the only one I actually OWN on its original hardware after all! :D

Sonic and the Black Knight

This was a fun distraction for a few hours! I had a lot of fun with this! Granted the second King Arthur fight took me an hour but besides that it was a quick and good romp! Probably has one of the best final boss themes in a sonic game I’ve ever heard! :D

The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past

Pretty fun game all things considered, but I didn’t like how punishing some of the design philosophies were in the end parts of the game. Music’s great though! Maybe I’ll revisit it one day, but not anytime soon. Still, can’t say I disliked my experience.

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.

Where…do I even begin with this?…It was…genuinely amazing. I was waiting for a sequel to Breath of the Wild for years, and during my high school years I was wondering how they would even follow it up! Doing a sequel to an open-world game is harder than a lot of other genres.      But yet….they did it. They somehow did it. Those 6 years of development time more than paid off. It felt…amazing to run around a changed Hyrule from the last game. The mechanics were amazing, and the character development was really cool! The new rune abilities are dope!!!    BUT THE MUSIC MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THE MUSIC OH THE MUSIC IS SO GOOD THE ENDING MUSIC MADE ME ACTUALLY CRY AHHHHHHHH PLAY THIS GAME PLAY IT NOW

Kirby and the Forgotten Land

And here we are! Finally got around to this! It was a really dope game! Loved the combat and music! I even did most of the bonus content and the Ultimate Cup Z, but I kept dying at the final phase of the final boss of that so I just gave up lol, it’s purely bonus content anyways lol. But honestly I loved this game! Can’t wait for the next mainline kirby game!

The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess HD

FINALLY GOT AROUND TO PLAYING THIS ONE! I owned this on real hardware since its release date but never got far. I finally got around to it with the motivation of beating Tears of the Kingdom, and I gotta say, it’s pretty good! Not exactly like, absolutely top tier game that everyone MUST play but, it’s decent! Bosses are a big sour point though. Music was pretty decent, though the final dungeon theme is a bore. Only other current Zelda games I gotta beat are the 2D/Top-Down ones, so maybe I’ll do one of those next! Possibly either Phantom Hourglass or Spirit Tracks.

Pokémon Scarlet

HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING SEQUENCE WAS ACTUALLY COOL AS HELL!!! Like yeah, the game has its decent chunk of technical issues but, holy shit….those last two hours of the main story are phenomenal. TOBY FOX CONTINUES TO BE THE GOAT THE MUSIC HE COMPOSED IS AMAZING! I love how easier it is to capture pokemon compared to Sword and Shield as well. I do like Dynamax raids more as a multiplayer component, but I much prefer the Tera mechanic in terms of PVP. I stlll need to do the post game before the dlc comes out later this year, but all I really got is just the refights against the gym leaders and all that jazz. There’s also the Needle thingies I gotta pull out and the wall things I gotta investigate in order to get the other legendaries, but all I really care about is finishing the core of the main story, I got other games to get to lol. Probably thinking of either Paper Mario or Chrono Cross next haha.

Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Final: Build & Ex-Aid with Legend Riders

Okay so context: my friend @arcadiusdragoneyes​ is showing me and @darkspine576​ Kamen Rider Build since it’s one of his favorites and he wanted to indoctrinate introduce us into Kamen Rider AND IT’S FUCKING WORKING. I only know one part of this crossover, but I think it did a good job of giving across the feel of the other Kamen Rider series very well! Kamen Rider Build is so extra I love it. Can’t wait to finish Kamen Rider Build!

[sonicphobia0601]

Mom. If you are reading this, I'm not happy with you. In fact, it's time for me to publicly address this. I have let you control me for too long.

You constantly have the same conversation every time one thing gets forgotten (and guess what!? I sometimes forget shit and then remember afterwards and fucking fix it). I have been on top of my chores consistently. And it's always you blaming everything on the phone and gaming. You are the same person who gave me AN HOUR LONG LECTURE on pronouns when I came out as being pan last year.

Well, guess what? Gaming is therapy for me and serves as a way for me to bond with people. And I love posting stuff online. Gaming kept me SANE during COVID. And I haven't gamed much during my college days. Because I was too goddamn tired and busy with chores and schoolwork. And CHORES ALWAYS COME FUCKING FIRST.

Not like you fucking care. Because you don't because it doesn't fit your view. You just constantly shit on me and say that I prioritize gaming over chores when it's not true. You constantly threaten to shut down the Internet even when shit does get done. Then you talk about every damn instance where gaming is bad while ignoring the obvious.

I have a growing following and close friends because I game. I found myself in gaming.

When you shut down the Internet, you are cutting me off from shit I love. You cut me off from friends, whether IRL or online. You're alienating me from my friends, which is just as bad as forgetting a chore if not worse. I still have depression.

The fact that anything gets DONE period is a fuckin miracle for me. You say that it takes an hour to get chores done. That's true... If you are not autistic. But it takes me more than an hour to get shit done. Sometimes it takes 30 minutes to water your precious plants. It takes me an hour to sweep, while it takes YOU 15 minutes tops. That's an hour thirty on me already. It takes me 20 minutes to switch and fold laundry. It takes you 5 minutes max. It takes 30 minutes to do dishes including hand washing. There. Two hours of chores. And you said it takes an hour to just plow through. Well, I plow for two hours and I get exhausted. Why? Because I'm not listening to anything. The dogs walk takes 10 songs. So that's thirty minutes per walk. I walk them in the morning and evening. And when the dog talks. So there's at least another hour. So three hours and then some worth of chores.

I have a good work ethic and you have the audacity to call me lazy.

In fact, because you are putting me on a high and unrealistic pedestal, I don't want to live with you anymore. I am telling you to move me in a group home. I'm tired of you constantly threatening my mental health and my social health. I'm tired of being on deck for you. I have had enough. I want you to move me out in a group home before I'm 25.

I'm posting this on Facebook too.

To give you insight on how much of a positive impact my gaming stuff gives to me:

600+ people are subscribed to my YouTube channel.

Nearly 6,000 people saw my recent Barnaby edit on Twitter. The game I love reposted it on their Twitter.

I have made plenty of friends here on my Tumblr account.

Sounds like nothing to you but it means a lot to me. And my depression started depleting when I finally made the step to be myself online. So, you want to be controlling? Guess what? You're just trying to control me to the point where I could break. Your controlling nature is going to kill me.

You made it clear that I am not trans (you made it clear that I can't be a boy even though I hate being a girl but will dress girly because I have body issues that I don't tell anyone because of the tumor you got). I hate being a girl because that might mean I'm weak. So guess what!? I will see myself as a person: not a man and definitely not a woman. If you are saying that I am a girl based on parts I was BORN with, can I just say "disgusting!"? And guess what!? I don't really feel any sexual attraction. I might decide to be gender fluid for the singular purpose of pissing you off.

Trans people (people who don't like their assigned gender at birth and have surgery to get in tune with their souls or their feelings) are NOT confused. And if you want to try to go off on me ON TUMBLR, be my guest. You now know my Tumblr account. I want your conservatorship to be DONE. You claim to be looking out for my best interests but I don't really feel that every time you threaten to cut me off from my friends. I think you are looking for control.

You tell me not to put my dirty laundry online but if it's threatening my livelihood and threatening my social life I am going to say something about it.

And I will change my profile to match my Tumblr out of spite on Facebook.

[eyesteeth]

just finished my third playthrough of tangle tower. have some fun details.

(spoilers for TT and SotS, long post)

Grimoire jokes about “what came first, the house or the tree” and the entire house has egg motifs

According to the family tree, Fitz’s mother is Emily Everstone. Echo Everstone was the person who killed Richard Remington in Secret Of The Swamp, doing so to protect Boggy, the mystid who lived in that swamp.

The family tree features several Mystids on it, including the Inkdip (right), the Amphobi/Boggy (bottom right), the Soulcrab (bottom left) and the Silversnake (bottom).

“Do you think she/he still lives here” is asked every time you click on a family member on the family tree, and the Ambassadors are later described as “a bunch of people who don’t live here anymore”.

The music on Poppy’s cassette to Freya is the music room theme with the piano isolated. It corrupts right where it loops.

Each of the four tunes for the harp puzzle are four musical motifs found in the Tangle Tower soundtrack.

The Opened Letter is Hawkshaw's shade of red.

133 hours is indeed 5 and a half days if you round down.

Penny’s room contains detective novels, romance novels, and romantic detective novels. This makes all of Sally and Hawkshaw’s interactions feel intentionally coded.

Freya spent most of Hawkshaw’s investigation of her room looking up at the sky. Likely didn’t want to look the physical manifestation of her worst nightmare in the eyes.

“More so than at any moment prior, I felt like quite an intruder in the house.” A line from Hawkshaw, later echoed by Penny.

“Three brightly colored birds in a heavy, ornate cage.” This incredibly loaded metaphor comes back several times.

In the aviary, there’s a writing desk with a page torn from the middle. This is the paper Penny used for the “NOW I’LL GET HER” note.

Penny is such a lonely character, and I think what really brings this home is when her own *goddamn uncle* doesn’t recognize her as the detective he hired. like, holy shit.

The way Penny refers to Hawkshaw (unsavory, said nasty things about her appearance) and how Hawkshaw refers to Penny (immature 27 year old) is very telling of her internal conflict.

Because this is an open point and click game, you need to be able to do things in any order, which means that you can have some bombshell revelations (like Percival hiring Hawkshaw or Hawkshaw looking for the golden beetle) less than 20 minutes in the game.

The Mysterious Girl’s theme ends up being used as Freya's theme in Tangle Tower.

The dusty violin in the music room sends the impression that a missing resident used to play it. My hunch is Primrose.

Penny remembers Poppy, Fitz, and Fifi standing next to each other in the crime scene, while Poppy remembers her and Fifi investigating Freya’s corpse when Penny shows up.

Poppy says who the killer is in her poems.

Poppy mentions Freya seeing “beneath our pond” in her poem to her. Freya did do that.

Sally’s comment about being a murder suspect “falling short” is an obvious reference to SotS.

Poppy can tell when someone’s touched the piano and Fitz can tell when someone’s touched the greenhouse.

Percival claims to be unconcerned with petty drama, as above it all as the stars - but he is not an astronomer, and is knees deep in family drama.

Flora specifically had a falling out with her brother and sister, who later ended up being Ambassadors. Flora’s attachment to the Inkdip likely caused the conflict with her siblings.

The sheet music is nearly accurate to what Poppy plays - however, she carries a few notes too long.

The eye on the floor of Poppy's room is the same eye can be seen on the ceiling of flora’s tower. 

Each of the library shelves are worth investigating. Birds, nature, space, insects, geography, and ancient history are all elements of Tangle Tower and the interests of its residents.

Felix leaves out a very crucial part of the DNA mutation cycle - “the animals eat the plants”, but then the humans eat the animals.

In the relationship chart in Fifi’s room, the only person with two arrows pointing to them is Percival. Those two arrows lead back to Penny and Hawkshaw.

Fifi’s room is one of the original rooms in Mystid Manor, hence the glass chandeliers - it wasn’t built specifically for her, so it doesn’t suit her tastes.

Primrose was a floriculturist, likely the source for Poppy's interest in flowers.

“What happened to all the non-ordinary [birds]?” “That… is a very good question.” Grimoire theorizes the Inkdip flew away instead of dying, perhaps some mass event caused the birds to leave?

When shown the painting, Penny describes it as “overbearing”, which lines up with her opinions on Hawkshaw when asked.

When examining Flora’s tower from Pointer’s telescope, it’s noted that her tower is above the rooftop garden. Given that the “NOW I’LL GET HER” letter is forged, it’s possible that it was used to obfuscate the yellow feather.

Penelope says in her confession that she planted the blood to give Poppy and Freya something to fixate on. This means she somehow acquired a pot’s worth of blood.

In Fifi’s notes about the suspects, Penny’s dislikes are noted to be insects. 

Felix says Tangle Tower was built by “Lord Remington and his… associates”, implying that he knows about the Ambassadors.

When shown the birds in the cage, Felix says “I’m sure they could leave if they wanted to.” This is indicative of how little he understands Fifi’s plight.

Felix mentions Boggy on the harp statue being “part of the Remington family history”. This leads me to believe that Richard and Primrose are the ones who thought up the Ambassadors.

Grimoire’s smirk when asked about the feet of the horn statue is a nod to Boggy’s feet being a key plot point in SotS.

Nearly every time Hawkshaw does something that contradicts her strict detective persona, it is a lie. 

One of the key points of Freya’s character is the supernatural - her ghost gives us the Soulbearer toy, and she has a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy with Hawkshaw and the painting in red. 

Any of the cracked items (paints, gramophone, or cassette tape) can be presented in the Machinations of Murder sequence when Grimoire asks for physical signs of breakage. Fun little game design thing.

Penny asking to have her hands tied is probably a result of her love for detective novels. The good guys always tie up the bad guys.

Penny describes Freya as “being possessed by a great energy to create something from nothing”. This is alchemy, and alchemy is referred to many times in the story.

Penny mentions her father, Buck Brackley, being one of the Ambassadors. Buck Brackley was also present in the original concept art of the Ambassadors. In her speech, the fifth ambassador is Buck and not Lord Fellow, but this contradicts the Ambassadors portrait. This is likely a development oversight.

Percival got the beetle in the post. Perhaps this mysterious sender will show up in the next game…

“Specifically… what you’d done to them - when they refused to help you.” This line implies that Penny killed the five Ambassadors. However, we know that Echo was responsible for Richard Remington’s death, so this may be a retcon or an uncorrected misconception.

Fifi's two chalkboards, the clipboard found in the greenhouse, the papers in the basement laboratory, and the menu screen all have the same set of mysterious symbols. This could be a greater unsolved puzzle, or just set dressing.

[samcatcher]

When in London.

Chapter 1 - Teaser masterpost

cw- drinking, puking.

Sam was pointing to the moon, but all I wanted to see was his hands. 

Amelia wanted to throw a gathering although it quickly got out of hand. It was supposed to be just me, her, and some other girls from our school. It wasn’t supposed to be a party at all but a party it was. We were 15. 

I watched people go from politely knocking at the door every 10 minutes, to just walking themselves in with large groups of people holding booze and other possible substances. Although it was scary, I was thrilled. I actually felt like some sort of accomplished adult.

Most of the people attending that night assumed it was Danny behind the party. He was older, by 5 minutes, although he was more outgoing and rebellious against his parents. He was the one in the band, which was rumored to be terrible, so I never investigated it further when I was a teenager.

There were people in their 20s with facial hair and bags under their eyes, smoking cigarettes and joints in her living room. Passing around drinks and as I said, other potential substances. These people, all recognisable, didn’t realize that the person behind this was the 15 year old girl who hides in her brother's shadow.

Looking back at it now, maybe she meant for it to get out of hand, so she could mean something to the town. Yet still Danny got the blame. 

Amelia didn't mind in the end because once her parents eventually found out, no matter what Danny said, they assumed he threw the party. 

I had never been to a party before. I came to the false conclusion in the first half an hour that I wanted to go to every single one I could find. I was running around telling everyone I’m a newfound party animal. Looking back at it now, I’m glad no one could remember what happened the next day. My town was small and quiet, north-west Michigan, Frankenmuth.

That’s probably why it got so out of hand. Everyone knew everyone.

For me, I was incredibly shy as a teenager. Therefore, most of the people I saw, I had never spoken to. Although I knew what family they were in, I knew what jobs they did. For example, standing by what used to be the clean, organized mantlepiece, now cluttered with cups, was Josh Kiszka. He worked at the local market, he had a booming voice. Looking over at him, I could hear him shouting

“Apples and pears! Melons and grapes! Fifty cents per pound!”

I knew he was in Danny’s deadbeat band. He was loud and didn’t stop talking about it. I could hear him shouting from the other side of the lunchroom. At the time, the only conclusion I made about Joshua was that he gave me a headache.

I laughed as I looked around the room. The only time I would see so many people together, from all different families, was at town hall meetings and school basketball games. I had never seen them so entertained. 

I turned the corner from the living room to the kitchen, lost in thought about town meetings and basketball games, when I was met with the eyes of the quiet boy who I had never caught a glimpse of in such low lighting, in such a done up way.

“Someone” Kizka was Josh’s brother. The difference between them was a visual example of pathetic fallacy. “Someone” was always thinking, Josh was always speaking. I say someone for comedic effect, at this time, I didn’t know Sam’s name at all. I blame this on our similarities. I was quiet too, therefore Sam probably didn’t know much about me either.

That night, I don’t know what changed in me, but I really saw him. I really looked at him.

As I took it all in, my expression shifted from lost in thought to slight shock. I tried to hide the visual scan I was doing of him but I was staring for so long I think he caught on. 

I was fixated on his slender frame, slightly tanned skin. Warm looking Auburn hair, slightly greasy. Sleepy brown eyes which matched his whole physique and uneven lips. His nose was slightly feminine and his neck was tall. His face was narrow and oval.

He was looking right at me.

He was so different that night, that’s the only way I could put it. It was as if the universe was telling me he was essential, or he would be at one point. He felt safe and comfortable. Like those people who you meet on the first day of school which draw you in with open arms and bond with you over the shared anxiety of being new.

Lost in my trance,  my brain suddenly registered all of the underage drinking I had done. A wave of nausea traveled up and down my body as someone walked by and I caught a whiff of either what was in their cup, or on their breath.

My only mission then was to escape outside, for fresh air followed by vomit.

I ran into Amelia’s garden and the summer night air hit me. There were a few people out there, respectfully smoking outside as opposed to inside. Although due to a broken porch light, the only light shone from the windows inside. Covering ninety percent of the garden with a blanket of darkness.

I was familiar with the garden, so the darkness didn’t intimidate me. Plus, I had to move quickly to avoid spewing in front of the adults standing by the door. I traveled down to what I knew was a large apple tree. I felt the stump with my hands and leaned my bare head against it, the bark was sharp on my forehead.

Concealed under the roof of the tree, I puked my guts out.

I was far from the house. The only music I could hear was the bass still somehow shaking the ground beneath me, curdling my stomach more. The sound of far-away bass was something I hated at the time. Eventually I learned to love it.

After being sick, my body regained its senses and I could feel drops of water on my shoulders from the leaves. I was caught in the middle of a summer rain.

I looked over at what once was the group of adults. Now, there stood only one person.

I left the comfort of the tree and felt the full natural spit of the rain. It wasn’t overwhelming. It felt almost like a heavy mist. It was humid but relieving, because there was a gentle wind which would cool my wet skin.

Eventually, after a few minutes of breathing and trying to soothe the now pounding headache, I started to shiver. So I made my way back inside.

I ran my fingers through my damp hair and slightly massaged my temples. I could feel him looking at me as I walked up to the only lit part of the garden.

The way the moonlight reflected on his defined face on the left, as opposed to the brightness on the right of his face was like a painting. I just wanted the world to stop so I could take a picture.

“You want a picture or something?” He asked, not shyly like I expected. More forced.

He stepped further into the light from the house. He shifted his eyes from mine and turned his head to the party inside. I could see the rain forming drips on his forehead. Both of us felt the vibrations of the music at our feet. 

“I just saw you inside, you recognise me from the band or something?” He asked.

That damn band. My expression turned from neutral to quizzed.

“Hey, you looked at me for ages. Then you basically ran into the darkness. I figured, I don't remember upsetting this girl, she must be a fan!” He explained himself, genuinely trying to sound the least cocky he could.

I laughed and shook my head.

“I just needed some fresh air, nothing personal to you. Do you always have to recall whether or not you’ve upset a girl? Do you upset a lot of them?” I moved closer to him and crossed my arms.

“The jealousy is supposed to start after you’re in love with me, or wait, are you, secretly?” He added in response to my teasing.

I shook my head and scoffed.

“I don’t even know your name.” I replied.

“It’s Sam.” He was shy now. Regretful of his initial words.

“I didn’t expect you to have such a big mouth, Sam.” I stated, a wide smile on my face as I squinted my eyes at him and pursed my lips.

He laughed off my comment and shifted his focus onto the night sky. He was silent as he scanned it, he smiled to himself. Then, he raised his arm up and pointed at the moon. 

“It’s so full tonight. Like tonight is important.” He whispered.

His arm stayed raised as he began pointing and rambling on about constellations and moon phases. When he spoke he moved his hand expressively. The lights from inside were dancing on them.

They were large, and lanky, like the rest of him. He had string bracelets on and a thumb ring. His fingernails were perfectly kept and ultra short. But the one thing that I liked the most, his fingers were calloused and rough. Red and irritated. From his instrument I guessed. I followed the way his hands were moving with my eyes, I was mesmerized. They were gracious and robotic. Not a shake nor a wobble. I could tell he was passionate.

Eventually he noticed that I hadn’t paid too much attention to his rambles and he stopped. He lowered his hand and turned to face me.

“What’s your name?” He asked me

I had forgotten.

“It’s Lyla?” I embarrassingly said in a questioning tone. Sam laughed.

“That’s a beautiful name.”

He stared at me for what felt like forever. Taking in every part of me. Remembering me.

“I hope I see you around.” He added.

Before I could say another word, he was back inside of the house. I stared into the darkness and felt the rain again. Softer than before.

I unexpectedly moved a week later. I drifted from Amelia too. Her parents grounded her and Danny when they found out about the party. To the point where I couldn’t even say goodbye to her. 

I was forced to go to France to care for my later great-grandmother as she was reaching old age. Amelia and I texted until there was no point. Sam and I never exchanged numbers and eventually, I forgot about the entire interaction. Soon to find out, seven years later, it was at the back of his mind for almost a decade.

chapter 2

[pedripics]

I remember seeing everyone complain here "why doesn't he rest why doesn't he rest" for the game against Barbastro. I think I wrote something similar, pretty much asking why would you ever want him to rest after 2 weeks Christmas break with no football? How would that be beneficial to him?

The best thing for Pedri, and for most players in general, is to get to a consistent match rhythm. Once you enter that cycle of playing a little and getting injured, playing a little and getting injured, you start getting injured because you play little and you can't play a lot because you'll get injured too. It's vicious and Pedri was there.

Messi said something similar, about even as he got older he always felt less tired playing every game than if he rested.

Obviously you can't and shouldn't play 90 minutes every 3 days but they are handling him very well. Let's not forget that even after that 72 match Season, he only got that first injury the moment he came back from the "break" Koeman gave him.

hmm yes kind of but i have more to add lmao let me elaborate

I think people are ‘scared’ of pedri playing too much because of that first season/ how his minutes were handled afterwards. And they aren’t necessarily wrong but also not completely right. I didn’t mind him playing the game against barbastro because 1. they just had 2 weeks of rest, 2. not playing at all right before playing the supercopa wouldn’t have been beneficial, and 3. he only played 45 mins (i think playing 90 mins e.g. would’ve been unnecessary). For most part, I like how Flick and his team have been handling Pedri’s minutes so far this season, he’s played every game but has been subbed off in most games. Precisely what Flick (and the journalists) mentioned yesterday, they can always adapt his minutes by subbing him off and they have done so multiple times. The problem, for me has never been the amount of games in general but the amount of minutes. Many people probably don’t know this but he’s played the most games and minutes at Las Palmas in the 19/20 season despite being by far the youngest AND missing games due to the sub-17 world cup. For some reason there has always been this narrative that his body simply can’t handle playing that many games (probably because he doesn’t have a naturally very muscular build, but being muscly ≠ having a strong physique) but that’s far from the truth. In his first season he played a lot of games and especially towards the end of the season games with a lot of minutes (with a lot of extra-times as well). I remember when he got injured mid season and was supposed to be out for 2-3 weeks and came back to play 90 mins 2 days later. I think that was/ is the bigger issue. Or when he played every single minute of the Euros and a lot at the Olympics. I think it was noticeable that he was tired (which is not surprising considering how much he played at such an young age with a lot of responsibility as well). He played 90 mins in games where there wasn’t any need to. I also don’t think it was necessary to straight up come back after the Olympics to play the first two league games. The bigger problem however was that when he felt discomfort after returning from the break (injuries happen, it’s football) he was brought back way too quickly because we played bayern and benfica (and i still think he wasn’t diagnosed fully right). And that seemed to be the issue for the seasons after that as well. Once returned from injury, he was back to playing 90 mins or more pretty much immediately (and i also still think that he was brought back too early more than once). I think that fundamentally changed after his injury against athletic last season because for the rest of the season his minutes were managed pretty well (even from dlf’s side). If he started one game, he wouldn’t start the next etc. etc. When fully fit, that’s not an issue. I think from the answers Pedri as well as Flick have given, the issue was that he wasn’t 100% fit for a while and just simply didn’t reach that level to build up continuity again. What they are doing now works because they allowed his body to fully heal first and because they figured out what his body specifically needs.