#abi doesn't know when to quit

[ghostradiodylan]

On Jacob

Someone on Quarry Reddit asked to be convinced that Jacob wasn't the absolute worst and it sent me on a real character analysis tear (which had been brewing already because there has been a bit of back and forth about him recently). Barely anyone reads a long character analysis on Reddit so I thought I might as well copy and paste it here where a few more folks like that sort of thing! Okay, so, the thing a lot of people seemingly don't get about the Quarry characters is that they're supposed to be based on stereotypical teen horror character archetypes, but they simultaneously embody and also subvert those archetypes. They are all masking, to some degree, and aren't what they seem at first glance. So Jacob, if you just gave a surface level list of his actions, would seem like a typical cocky, self-centered jock and, in his worst moments, a controlling (ex?)boyfriend who puts everyone in danger trying to manipulate a girl into staying with him.

And if Jacob was that guy, I'd hate him too! But the thing is, he really isn't. He IS a dumb jock and an impulsive, short-sighted teenager, but he's not being controlling, at least not intentionally--he genuinely thinks he and Emma could have a future together and that he can get her to properly fall for him if he has one more night to spend with her. It's naive to he point of being borderline delusional, but it's not malicious.

I've seen a lot of people argue that Jacob doesn't care what Emma wants, but that isn't the impression that I get. I would say that Jacob doesn't understand Emma, but that doesn't mean he doesn't care about her or what she wants. Emma seems conflicted about Jacob, because while she gives him a hard time, she defends him to Abi saying he's actually really sweet, and later tells him, I think truthfully, that she's had a great time with him all summer and she still has feelings for him. She is being practical and putting her immediate feelings aside in breaking things off because, as she is able to tell her phone during one of her vlogging segments, she believes he will meet other girls in college and forget about her, which would hurt her more than breaking up now. She's not doing it because she doesn't like him. So from Jacob's perspective, they had a real connection, they both really like each other, they probably had some really steamy hookups, and the practicalities of a long-distance relationship don't seem like a good enough reason to break things off.

Jacob isn't a misogynist, he's a deeply misguided romantic. And while in real life those two things sometimes go hand-in-hand, I don't think that is meant to be the case here. I think Jacob is genuinely soft-hearted. And yes, men sometimes use their tears to control and manipulate others, rather than them being a real expression of emotional vulnerability, but when we see Jacob cry, he's doing it all alone, not trying to be seen. He's embarrassed when Emma sees him crying. He's actually invested in this relationship, possibly way more than he realized until it was over, and he is really hurting.

Jacob also likely doesn't see his action as wholly selfish. He genuinely cares about his work friends and knows that they all are nursing crushes they haven't quite managed to act on all summer, given the way he ribs Kaitlyn and Dylan about not having had relationships and encourages Nick to get together with Abi (his 'attaboy' tap when he carries her bags, the conversation at the shooting range, as awkward as it can be, etc). Notice how he pairs everyone off (except for his childhood friend Kaitlyn, who maybe he is hesitant to give any commands to) by assigning them pre-party tasks that put them in proximity of their crushes. He clearly fancies himself a bit of a matchmaker. Jacob doesn't even particularly get along with Ryan (though it seems to mostly be that Ryan doesn't like him, as Jacob tends to push his buttons, possibly unknowingly, and then is surprised when Ryan strikes back at him), but he is visibly ecstatic if Dylan and Ryan kiss at the campfire, pure joy on his face. Yes, he wants to get what he wants, but he also loves seeing the people he cares about get what they want as well. His sabotaging of the van, while definitely not excusable, does allow those other relationships a little more time to blossom.

And while it comes packaged in machismo silliness, and he falls on his face (and sometimes into a bear trap) more often than not, Jacob is actually pretty brave and selfless when others are in danger. He takes off into the woods, unclothed and unarmed, when he hears Abi scream. He can't get to her, but he clearly intends to fight off whatever is attacking her with his bare hands because that's just who he is. He runs off and leaves Emma and then clearly feels like shit about it, which leads to him fighting with Ryan over the gun trying to get back to her to protect her. Emma can absolutely protect herself, and Jacob is being a total jerk trying to take the gun from Ryan when he and Kaitlyn need it too, but his actions are motivated by an impulse to help and protect.

He clearly has internalized some problematic messages about masculinity (his whole 'seal the deal before a real man swoops in' thing to Nick, his overconfidence with a gun, his self-flagellation for showing emotion when he tells himself 'stop crying you big baby') but on the whole Jacob does seem to be trying to perform nontoxic masculinity, to use his strength for good, to defend and protect those who need it, to be chivalrous, even if he's bumbling and bad at it.

Jacob is really the tragic clown of the game. He has a good heart, but he's reckless and doesn't think before acting. The game emphasizes this by associating him with The Fool tarot card, which bears his image and gives a premonition of him setting the van on fire. The card symbolizes freedom and naiveté leading into disaster and in it he's carrying a bucket of water to a wagon on fire, but the bucket is leaking and will clearly be empty by the time he gets there, thus rendering his attempt to help wholly ineffectual.

The fire imagery, including a wagon that clearly echoes Eliza's freak show as seen in the tarot readings and Hierophant flashback, also links Jacob to Kaylee and Caleb, whose well-meaning attempt to rescue Silas set this all in motion in the first place. You can also see it paralleled in Laura's actions in the prologue, wherein her breaking into the basement to 'help' what turns out to be werewolf Chris Hackett gets her and Max embroiled in all this horror.

Jacob, like Kaylee, Caleb, Laura, and Max, has good intentions and is trying his best, but he repeatedly fails to think his actions through. We aren't supposed to agree with Jacob's choices, but we are meant to see the tragedy in potentially getting people, perhaps including your crush and even yourself, killed with well-intentioned mistakes. Think, the game tells us, over and over, and don't get burned.

[scrubbinn]

Mimic Memoirs: Labor logs

HRT Month ???

Stuffed within the void

Some time after Mayday attempted her ritual

cw: depression

“My name is… unimportant. I doubt anyone is going to actually find this, I mean, if you're in the void, you probably have bigger problems. But I wanted to leave evidence of my time here, and in case I need it for later.”

“The bod- Mayday is still trying to gain consciousness in this place. I have a bit of a head start after all this time being a headmate. You can't have a body in this place. People always think of a void as this infinitely big place of nothing. The truth is that nothing is actually quite small. It's a zero dimensional zone that weaves itself in the cracks and spaces between worlds. The only things that can exist here are concepts and ideas. Right now, I'm merely a thought. Reciting information into the concept of a recording device that will float in here until I or universe forbid, someone else, finds it here. I won't remember this once I craft this memory. It's better that way.”

“Mimics. They're everywhere here. Not the kind that exists in fiction and other worlds. They're not chests, slimes, or hermit crabs. They're just concepts. The concept of consumption. The idea that to consume something is to know something. There probably used to be other concepts floating around here. But they've all been removed. Or maybe something else happened? I see them eating each other all the time, but they just reform out of nothing again. Sure, it's creepy. But it isn't what has me worried.”

“Erian, that idiot. Slime hrt combined with a mimic octopus would have made a decent enough Mimic on its own. But he was still in that phase of seeing us as experiments or walking billboards. Of course he decided to add some mysterious substance he had literally no idea what it was. I know what it is now. It's just one of these mimics. I guess it's like a deep sea fish. If you brought one of them into a space with physics, they would expand into a liquid or gas. And he decided to feed it to someone.”

“Would we have just died if Mayday continued her transition? No, I think we'd be fine, maybe just a puddle that can't form shapes, but we'd be alive. Still, it's concerning how close to death we've been. We nearly did until all of us helped Mayday form a cocoon. The first step in her mimic-hood

“Believe it or not, dying would have been the better alternative. Mimics here don't just eat each other. Sometimes, they poke through to another world and eat from it. But not things like stealing candy or eating people. Though sometimes they do that, too. But I've seen them eat the stab wounds off a human, munching 14 hours of time from a universe, even devouring fear itself from one place. Of course, most of them try to mimic what they ate and usually get crushed in zero dimensional space. It's a good thing there isn't one of them that can survive in three dimensions… You get what I'm saying now, right?”

“Do I let Mayday leave here? What happens if she has access to these sorts of abilities back in hyper city. Does she have access to them? Maybe if she doesn't cross that road, but what if they are a part of her. Just dorment. Forget eating a bit of stomach. What if she ended up eating all of Abi's memories. It's not like she has complete control of her mouths… Wait… No. She did it already. Once, at the zoo. Eating Kaylen's nightmares and turning into them. That's not normal. That's not a normal mimic thing.That's what these things do. So… I don't know. I don't know if I should hide away from her. Let her fade into nothing here.”

“That's why I'm leaving this recording here. So I'll forget it. So that she won't know. So that I don't have to make that choice. I'm sorry.”

Mayday stepped out of the portal she made. A recorder in her hands that wasn't there when she stepped in. She had become quite the expert with the book that made the portal after her first trip with it. There was potential within its eldritch grip to help the clinic and its patients. She didn't consider herself a witch, but this was something that had dug its way into her mind. She did always find comfort in that place, this book calling out to her when she first visited that library, she was meant for that place.

Oh, can't go having those sorts of thoughts. There's still plenty to enjoy in this world. There's… well, there's not a whole lot. Just work. Hang out with friends, girlfriend. Well, it's still plenty. Some people have less after all. Anyways, It's not about how much you have, it's about the time you spend with them! Like… No, can't go having those sorts of thoughts. Let's just focus on work. Jasmine scheduled an appointment today. It seemed pretty serious by the tone of garden voice. best to wrap up her personal explorations and get ready for work.

Today, Mayday’s coffee tasted bitter, and her food felt like ash. The winter skies were coated in nothing but dull clouds. A puddle of slush was thrown onto her skirt and boots as a car skidded by, traveling way too fast to be legal. There were probably good things. She didn't hit any red lights, no one around her was rude, Abi seemed happy texting about some new collector’s edition doll she found. lots of little joys. Joys that she was having trouble seeing each day. She tried not to think about what she heard on that recording.

The work day was horrendous. Nothing but Erian shouting at patients, and pharmacies suddenly having problems with handing out the prescriptions they're supposed to hand out. She did her best to put on a grin when anyone approached her. After all, it's easy to fake a smile when you don't have a face.

That thought just made her consider the fact that, as a mimic, she doesn't have a true form. There's the things in the void or the DnD style “purple goop,” but those weren't true forms. Mayday didn't have a true form, or a default form, or anything like that. She just felt comfortable being a slime. Because it was easier to stick with that, then to explain to your family that you're not a burglar, you're just trying on a new you today. Being a slime or a cat, or a dragon, or looking like someone she knew. They were all the same level of comfort. The only euphoria she felt was the act of changing her shape, and she found herself doing it less and less. Explaining it was a hassle.

The clock struck 5pm. Oh, her rambling ideas had passed the time to Jasmine's appointment when she wasn't looking. Oops. She clutched the recorder in her hands tighter. Maybe someone should listen to this. Maybe someone could help. Anything to not be alone with her thoughts. She grew a resolve then and there to ask Erian. Over the weeks, she had gotten to see a side of him that was, decent, at least. His expertise might be what she's looking for. Just have to get through the day.

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[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Apologies

IMO Carmy apologizes just fine and not just to Syd, has always done that actually.

Sometimes he just admits his wrongdoing though, and this tone was set very early in the relationship.

This is almost better than saying "I'm sorry" if you ask me BUT only if followed by an actual change in behavior. THAT'S THE PART HE FALLS SHORT AT, NOT THE APOLOGIES PER SE. (keep reading if you wanna know why because there’s a scientific explanation for that, it’s not his fault yet it is his responsibility to overcome it)

Brigade | 01x03

Braciole | 01x08

Braciole | 01x08

OK, OK! He didn't say "I'm sorry", true. He just admitted his behavior was not OK, which still counts. And then he tried to redeem himself by offering to share his lifelong dream with her. Whether that's even better than an apology or not, I'm not willing to debate, some may think it might be. I'm not one of them, I think a change in behavior is the best apology

BUT to be fair:

Syd didn't apologize either for leaving the take-out option ON, she just offered him a second chance, which means that at that point neither one of them were apologizing with words, they were BOTH using actions instead.

The reason being, the feelings that started brewing beneath the surface, they didn't wanna acknowledge them, they deliberately chose not to and intended to move on. The decision was made. They decided to "keep it profesh", thus they couldn't voice them out because if they did they were gonna upgrade them to "real/official" and they were nowhere ready for that nor were they willing to do it, for that matter. So, in fact, at that point, they probably even decided they were never gonna be and gave up before even giving it a second thought.

In his case the progression of that was quite obvious:

<That's why C showed up shortly after, btw. It just fits the timeline they both tacitly started building since Braciole.>

AND BECAUSE LOVE FOR CARMY MEANS THIS↓

"It always gets fucked."

In her case, I can only guess because the sadist completely deprived us of her juicy background story pretty much, but I could bet an obscene amount of money on Syd having a similar idea of what love might entail, that's why no matter how loving and nurturing she is, she doesn't really let anyone in - refer to her tattoo for symbology pls -

She puts up walls:

More about that here:

Luckily in S3 they are getting flimsier by the minute, but still.

Back to his apologies

Pasta | 02x02

In Pasta he apologized and taught her the "Sorry" sign, even when he wasn't the one who did anything wrong because it was Syd who fucked up the lacto ferment.

Then he did apologize when appropriate a few days later:

Sundae | 02x03

Bolognese | 02x08

Omelette | 02x09

Omelette | 02x09

The Bear | 02x10

Tomorrow | 03x01

Apologies | 03x09

So as you can clearly see, he has no problem apologizing to anyone when he means it, his problem starts after the apology because even when he meant it, even when he's truly repentant, he fucks up, which IMPO is actually a trauma response → linked to his C-PTSD to be more precise. He self-boycotts because his brain is wired that way after years of enduring abuse. Meaning, Carmy has ABI (Abusive Brain Injury), which is a type of non-traumatic brain injury (although it could also be TBI if the abuse was also physical) that leads to damaged brain tissue resulting from years of consistent psychological and sometimes physical abuse, like the one he suffered when around Donna and Eleven Madison Dickhead. His 2 main abusers.

In other words, he's wired for failure till he overcomes his trauma, which as I keep saying, will happen in S4 because he has already started his healing process and had his breakthrought in 03x10.

You can read more about the correlation between ABI and abuse here.

Why he doesn't apologize to the C person?

Glad you asked, I already answered that question a while ago:

But it could also be because Syd didn't greenlight him in 03x01 or because C actually told him: "Never apologize". OR because:

I'm going to stick to the theory of it being a denial by-product, though, as I explained in the 1° meta above about GUILT being his main driver just because it's very IC of him. However, it wouldn't be a stretch if it were a combination of all these factors.

Bonus track: He doesn't have a problem with saying ILY either (if he really means it that is, he won't take it lightly), the problem is being on the receiving end of those words because they usually are the preface of a very painful story for him, a story where he usually ends up getting hurt and disappointed.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[lopposting]

Some more Lies of P translation notes!

Some cool translation details that I thought were fun that didn't fit anywhere else.

[long!]

[Spoilers]

In the Korean version, Geppetto is speaking an "old-fashioned"/archaic form of Korean to reflect the time period that the game is set in

Set around the turn of the century (late 1800s), mimicking the Belle Époque of France's industrial revolution, we can guess that the game's events take place during the late 1800s. Given Geppetto's status as "old geezer", we can guess that he's closer to 100 than not, so he would have been born around the early 1800s. I might not be completely accurate - basically, he's speaking as an elderly person might speak in current time to culturally reflect his age; other times I notice he's using some words that are now out of use.

From the game's initial trailer:

깨어나거라, 아들아. 이제 이 아비를 기쁘게 해다오. Wake up, son. Make this father happy/proud.

The word he uses for "father" is "Abi" (아비), which is an archaic word for "father". In current day, korean speakers would generally use "Abeoji" (아버지).

The -gura(거라)/-DaOh(다오) conjugation is also an additional syllable that has since fallen out of use, or is considered archaic, in current korean:

아들아, 네 심장을 다오. Son, give me your heart.

하지만 알아 다오, 나는 너도 사랑했단다. But know this, I loved you too. English VA version: In my own way, I grew to love you.

This is also apparent in Geppetto's final letter at the end:

우릴 방해할 자는 이제 없을 거란다. 너를 위한 크라트를 다시 만들어주마. (-juma, Supposedly, only a "superior" speaker can use -juma) 그때까지 호텔에 조심해서 머물러 다오. 너를 누구보다도 아끼는 아버지가.

He also uses the -Oh ending again. (although he does call himself "Abeoji" 아버지 here and not "abi" like the trailer. He uses "Abi" again in another instance when responding to a guesture)

It's a very cool detail to me. I think it's a bit missed opportunity that, as far as I know, the english version doesn't seem to reflect this! Although to be fair, I'm struggling to imagine how they would. 19th century english/french maybe isn't as different or isn't different in the same ways from "modern" english that 19th century Korean would be from "modern" Korean. [Well, my only education on this stuff is from watching episodes of Dae Jang Geum]. I haven't checked to see if any other character (like Antonia) speaks this way. [Pls message me if Geppetto also speaks like this in your or any other language version!!]

Lies of P, Blood, puns, and the P-Organ

The P-Organ, in Korean, is referred to as the P기관. 기관 (gi-gwan), however, doesn't necessarily correlate directly to the word "Organ": It's quite an interesting word to choose because it can refer to any system of moving parts, both organic or mechanical; and it can mean an organ, a machine, or even a governmental body or institute.

As you may have heard by now, the game's titular pun revolves around the fact that the english character for P sounds the word for "blood" in korean (피), making the title (P의 거짓 P-ie Geojit?) read like Lies of Blood, in a nutshell. The title Lies of Blood then fits into the becoming-real flesh-and-blood themes of the game, perhaps also suggests that the deception in Krat has cost the lives of many - and, of course, references the lying of the titular character, who is inferred to be none other than (P)inocchio! So, in Korean, the P-Organ (P기관) becomes something like the Blood Engine. Which rather sounds like a euphemism for a heart!

[Perhaps: It's also a bit of narrative that Geppetto refuses to refer to it as our heart, unless he refers to it as belonging to Carlo.]

In English, this wordplay no longer exists, and so it's rather awkwardly literally translated (as the P-Organ).

How do you say, "NEOWIZ"?

I've seen a few people ask about the pronunciation of NEOWIZ (Lies' publishing company). Hangul is phonetic, so you could (technically) say the official pronunciation of NEOWIZ (네오위즈) is Nae-Oh Wiz and not Neo (like the Matrix character) -wiz.

However [in my opinion], I don't think this matters, because when something is translated to another language, it often takes the pronunciation of the language it is read in. Kind of like how in english you would read the capital of France correctly as Paris (with an S sound at the end), and not "Pari" (french pronunciation).

Also, Krat is consistently pronounced by in-game characters as "Krot" (Long O, rhymes with "Cot" or "Not") in the english version. In the game korean releases, "Krat" is written as 크라트, which would be pronounced and read as "Krat" (short A, rhymes with "Rat" or "Cat").

[I think the devs also say "Krat" too. The rounder "O" pronunciation of "A" in words seem like more of a European pronunciation in general]

The "Youngest of the Black Rabbit Brotherhood" and Gender

In Korean culture, Age is particularly significant in both Korean social hierarchy and language, and the role/position of being the youngest in a group is a particular role known as being the "maknae" (I mean, I definitely think this also exists in the western world, people definitely would understand being the "youngest" one in your family, but it's slightly different from that).

Despite being a member of the brotherhood, she refers to her brothers as "Oppa", which is when the word "brother" is used by female speakers to an older male subject (Remember Gangnam style?) [A male speaker would use "Hyung". I debated putting this one in, because to me, it seemed kind of obvious, but I did see others asking about this.]

[Given that the developers are from a korean studio, I am choosing to believe that the subtitles provided by the game's "korean" version are the text/script as originally written intended by the developers!]

[hickoryblossom]

The Quarry fantasy AU

(Okay, so it's loosely D&D based, as in I'm using classes, races, and alignments from D&D as well as a few tidbits of lore. But it's more so using that as a base for general fantasy than specifically D&D)

With that out of the way, I'm going to go character by character with some overview stuff at the end

Dylan lenivy

Half-Orc Bard/Artificer Neutral/Good

His dad is an orc, and his mom is a human. He grew up with his mother in a predominantly human village. So he doesn't have a lot of connection to his orc side, in fact you never met his father. He was treated like an outsider for most of his life. He's got a lot of insecurities ✨ (especially surrounding his appearance). Dylan has put a lot of work into being charismatic. Because people tend to have strong usually negative opinions just upon seeing him, and he does his best to counter those assumptions with his charming personality. All this along with his usual fear of social rejection and general want for people to like him.

He did an internship at a local academy, which is how he learned his artificing skills (ldk if that's the actual term). His mother taught him music. She taught him all he knows; she wanted him to follow in her footsteps and become a minstrel like her. But he's always been more proficient with tech, hence why he did the internship. (also I haven't decided what instrument he plays yet, maybe viola idk)

So Dylan, struggling to find work after the internship, ran into Jacob and Kaitlyn, who were looking to become adventurers, but the local guild requires at least three people to start an adventuring party, so they asked him if you'd be interested in adventuring with them. And Dylan bored and broke decides fuck it why not? And agrees. And so they went on quests together for a bit. But then they hit a trouble spot, they needed better equipment that they could not afford, and so wound up working at 'Hackett's Quarry summer camp for gifted young mages' to make enough money to get what they needed.

Kaitlyn Ka

Tiefling Ranger Neutral/Good

Kaitlyn, being a tiefling born to elf parents, was ostracized from a young age. When she was around maybe  10 years old (or at least that maturity level because elf lifespans are different) she met Jacob, and they became friends. Jacob also didn't get along super well with the other elves, so the two made an unlikely pair of little outcasts. Which eventually becomes a trio when they start adventuring with Dylan. She is incredibly capable, an excellent shot with a crossbow, and knows a whole lot about nature. She is also definitely the only reason Jacob hasn't gotten himself killed.

Jacob Custos

Elf Barbarain Chaotic/Good

Jacob, being the lovable himbo that he is he's quite the opposite of your typical elf. As well as I imagine he wasn't really able to tap into magic, which further isolated him from his peers. He wasn't bullied or anything, people just didn't exactly understand him, no one really took the time to get to know him, until Kaitlyn.

It was primarily Jacob's idea to become adventurers. Like, Kaitlyn was absolutely down for it, but it was definitely Jacob's idea.

Ryan Ezrahler

Half-Elf Druid Lawful/Good

Ryan lives with the human side of his family, his paternal grandparents, and half sister Sarah. He is very magically gifted. However, he didn't know how to control it when he was younger. So, his grandparents sent him to 'Hackett's Quarry summer camp for gifted young mages' so he could learn how to use his magic. Ryan has always been very connected to nature, so Mr H, who it's also a druid, took Ryan under his wing. So, like in canon, Chris is a father figure to Ryan. So he's working as a counselor because he cares a lot about the Hacketts, and the camp is like a second home to him, and he wants to help any other kids who are in the same situation he was in, terrified of the magic within them because they can't control it.

Abigail Blyg

Human Cleric Lawful/Good

Abi is a very sweet church going girl who just wants to help where she can. She is training to become a cleric of the sun God. As part of the church's program, the clerics in training get paired up with the paladins in training. So, Abi was paired with Nick. The two have only known each other for about a year. They get along pretty well. An important part of their training requires them to serve their community. And what they chose to do for that was to work at ‘Hackett’s Quarry summer camp' to help the children learn to control their magic. (“It's rather important to help the youth”)

Also, everyone thinks Abi and Nick are together. They're not, Nick definitely likes Abi, but she's having a bit of a Bi crisis over Kaitlyn.

Nick Furcillo

Human Paladin Neutral/Good

Tbh, I don't have that much for Nick. (He's a character I really want to like more than I do, there's just so little for him and canon, and I'm not exactly sure what I want to do for the au) He, much like in canon, spends most of his time as a werewolf.

I think that might be more interesting and stuff because he's a holy knight (in training) of the sun god, and yet he's the first of them to fall to the moon curse. (idk I might add more later)

If you guys have any ideas, feel free to share.

Emma Mountebank

Siren Worlock Chaotic/Neutral

So Emma is a warlock, and I wanted to work in her being an influencer into part of this, that's where I got this idea. So her patron is essentially like her audience. It is a collective of multiple consciousnesses. She calls it chat; it manifests as this little floating wisp that follows her around. And she talks to it, but only she can understand it, only she can hear it. So she often gets weird looks when she's just having what appears to be a one-sided conversation with this little ball of light. So, because of their pact, a lot of Emma's decisions, including why she's here as a counselor in the first place, are driven by what would be most entertaining to her patron(s).

Laura Kearney

Elf Rogue Lawful/Neutral

Laura is not that different from canon. She's just a little more vengeful. Because not only is Max afflicted with werewolf curse but also because of that has completely lost connection to his goddess. And Laura true to form is fully ready to go kill people to fix that.

I am thinking, though, how she and Max met was that she got pretty beat up and nearly died, and he was the one who saved her (cause like healing magic because cleric) and the rest is history kind of moment. I think it's cute. Also, like because she's a rogue, she's always clung to the shadows, and no one's really noticed her until Max. ( I adore these two so much and I need their love story to be so, so, cheesy.) Anyway, Laura would kill thousands just for Max, and he would rewrite the stars just for her.

Max Brinly

Elf Cleric Lawful/Good

Max is a cleric to the moon goddess. (I haven't decided yet exactly what the situation is but I want to do something like Selune and Shar from D&D basically there's a deity for the light side of the moon as well as a deity for the dark side of the moon) Max's goddesses is of the light side of the Moon. His relationship with this goddess is so important to him. As a matter of fact, the reason they were traveling a night early was specifically because it was a full moon. Max figured it would have been the best time for them to travel because his goddess would guide them and keep them safe. Which is why it's so awful that he got infected. Also, because, as mentioned previously, the curse cuts off his connection to his goddess even when it's not the full moon. And this is devastating for him. (I hate to do this to Max cuz I love him so much, but it's also so interesting story-wise)

✨Overview time ✨

OK, so two big important pieces of information, one, Eliza, Silas, and the rest of Harum Scarum, are Drow (dark elves) and they left the Underdark to find a cure for Silas. And they started doing their travelling shows so they could make money, so they could meet their basic needs while they searched the lands for a cure. Two, the Hacketts are all humans, and very distrusting of other beings and magic. Fear of the unknown and all that. They've loosened up a bit on their feelings surrounding magic because Chris was magically gifted from a young age, though nobody knows why. Chris has spent a lot of his time honing his skills, learning, and understanding how his magic works. He's always wanted to help and to teach people, hence why he started the summer camp. That's his project, and the rest of his family doesn't really get involved. With the exception of his kids, of course. The whole story of how the Hackett family fell under the curse is essentially the same. Kaylee and Caleb tried to “rescue” Silas and got infected in the process. The fire still happened, all of that is the same.

I haven't decided what happens that keeps the counselors stuck at camp during the night of the full moon. (But I will update once I’ve figured that out)

Also, there are definitely some gay shenanigans with Ryan and Dylan because, of course there are. I'm currently trying to figure out an equivalent to the radio hut scene.

Anyway, this is what I have so far. I will be posting art for this soon. Thanks for reading.

[colourful-void]

[truly off the charts levels of aitsf nirvana initiative spoilers]

some thoughts on mizuki date and mizuki kuranushi

the whole timeline switch thing is admittedly: cool as fuck. love it conceptually. its neat as hell. in practice i think it required some of the game to be a bit... strained in logic and perhaps if we were less committed to clone Mizuki and some other aspects it would feel a little less like we had to rob Mizuki (Date) as a character to make it work.

I can explain why i feel this way:

Don't get me wrong, its set up really really well in a lot of places. i see now which is awesome. the set up isn't so much the problem, there definitely could've been a bit more in the set up but overall it's solid.

my problem is that, in order to make this work, Mizuki and Bibi need to be functionally indistinguishable from each other not just in appearance but in personality. NOW there are key differences I noted which was very good!!! I did see this, i just think like, the fundamental concept means they have to be significantly more similar than they are dissimilar and that makes for....

Okay like:

Mizuki and Bibi having the same scooter? Fantastic, it's mentioned early on that's abis provided, of course they're the same. having the same gun, sure even, it might be a 'mizuki custom' but if we assume mizuki date didn't actually care that much about her gun's specifics I totally see boss replicating the first one. I'm sure bibi would've wanted that too. Having the same PIPE is bothering me. Because now we're verging into some nature over nurture territory.

Mizuki Date loved that pipe when she was 12, it's something she picked up afaik after coming to live with date even, bcs she didn't have it when she was getting bullied in school. Her having one makes sense. But bibi has a pipe, seemingly because... Mizuki has one.

So then, was it a unique choice Mizuki made when she was younger, or does 'being mizuki' mean predestined to wield a pipe? (i can also see Bibi like, watching over mizuki and deciding she also wants a pipe but that's only slightly better because it's still externally denying the characters individuality) [A minor way of adjusting this could be having Mizuki Date only ever use the pipe, and Bibi only ever use the Evolver.]

There are some good moments of them being different i can recall off hand, bibi talking about her younger sister (mizuki) for example, to shoma, etc. but like. 90% of the time you're not supposed to be able to tell them apart. So they think the same way, and act the same way, and when you're playing a game literally in the brain of a character its hard to even pass off as just, presentation or a front. and i wanna be clear i know there are minor differences.

Bibi doesn't react to Date's appearance in the warehouse (because she didn't know him like Mizuki Date, but also looking back since that was in the past like, Mizuki Date wouldn't have reacted either.), I think there's a little difference in how bibi and mizuki treat boss, maybe? But since mizuki is still playing around with boss and giving her puppy dog eyes in the first investigation scene when That's Mizuki Date and not Bibi, it doesn't quite land.

Because the small pool of people who actually know, Ryuki and Boss and all have to TREAT Mizuki Date and Bibi basically identical for this to work. And again, you can stretch it. Boss is trying to maintain professionalism, etc. But it's another layer of them being... basically the same.

Mainly, my biggest problem is less everyone else and how Mizuki Date and Bibi think and act.

Mizuki Date and Bibi are allegedly two different characters. They're given two different backstories, and lived two very different lives. Despite that, aside from a few minor hints and character quirks, they behave and interact indistinguishably from each other. And that kind of cheapens both of them as people.

Like, we just had this whole game that had everyone saying "if this hadn't happened, if my father hadn't been killed, if this child hadn't been kidnapped, if So Sejima had just kicked it at 20, maybe none of this would've happened, life could've been so different" and then also showed us 'Even if your life was extremely different you would still think and act exactly the same'.

TC-PERGE and alcoholism was a huge part of it, but the cited reason for a lot of Ryuki's behaviour is the trauma right?? Like it comes up multiple times, but the unique traumas that both Mizuki's faced? I guess impacted them exactly the same. or not at all, in Mizuki date's case because we never get proper resolution on the whole 'you were adopted and then your adopted parents couldn't or wouldn't raise you properly so gave you off to Date, who then disappeared." i'm still entirely unclear on who was the guardian of this 12 year old child after that.

TLDR

i think a lot of this twist is really cool conceptually, i'm on board with a lot of it. But in practice, Bibi and Mizuki are only different characters because of their wildly different backstories. They think and act identically, despite having such different circumstances which should lead to different thoughts and actions. In a game where the final Somnium ends in a long chain of "What ifs" where it's characters ask if they could've lived differently had just a few things been different, the central characters appear to demonstrate that no, they wouldn't.

and that kinda bums me out.

[inhurtandincomfort]

Hi!!! For today's STS: Today's Mother's Day in my country, so How would your OCs celebrate Mother's Day?

Thank you for ask, sorry I'm so late!

Ah, my ocs. Mothers day... :) Eldwin 🌓: It was a very important day. He and his older brother would run it like a military operation. Mum was not allowed out of bed until 10AM at the earliest. (Even if she wanted to) breakfast in bed was mandatory (which was a lot nicer when they were older; sometimes their Father helped and it was better, but he couldn't always...) and she was not allowed to lift a finger, even though there were lots of chores she needed to do, especially with the youngest. She'd try and sneak in work whenever her kids weren't looking, which became kind of a fun game for them all. But she really did have things to do, so sometimes she would make up that she really, desperately needed this rare flower that grows in the forest this time of her, it would really help her out if they could go and find one... Or oh no, she dropped her favourite hair pin outside... or some other nonsense task to get them out of her hair for awhile. They might be pretty dejected if they thought they'd failed, but they'd try and make it up by bringing some other flowers home instead. Of course, they were young enough that they got over it very quickly with some sweets or honey. When they were older they cottoned on, but still led their younger siblings into it.

Now, of course, he tries not to think about it. Luckily I don't think anyone he's with celebrates mothers day lmao

Ancassius 🚢: Less military, but fairly chaotic. He has a lot of siblings, two of whom are older than him, so he was happy to follow their lead. Everyone was instructed to handmake a card and make or buy a give, BEFORE the big day, or Eldest Sibling Wrath be upon ye. Another household where mum wasn't allowed to do anything - which suited her just fine, with enough kids old enough to take care of chores and themselves, she is quite happy to put her feet up and have people at her beck and call all day. Hey, it's only once a year. Or twice, with her birthday.

Now he doesn't live at home but he does his best to visit if he can. He ALWAYS sends a letter though - but then he sends lots of letters anyway. And he always brings gifts when he returns home. At least now he can afford to give her luxury... and yes, he does buy things, thank you very much. He is not going to give his mother stolen goods...

Kieran 📸: His mom doesn't like flowers so he always gets her chocolates, some perfume or makeup he knows she likes but would never buy for herself. Even when they weren't talking, he'd still have a card sent to her.

Abigail 🎮: Girly shopping day, of course. Her, her mom and sisters. Makeup store. Clothes store. Dragging them into the game store even though it's not your day, Abi. Maybe some spa treatments and at the end up, mom's favourite restaurant which isn't even fancy, some small family-owned place that serves a divine hot fudge cake.

[noyoucantpinmedown]

Silly headcanon time: how the counselors like their eggs cooked (assuming all of them eat eggs).

Ryan: doesn't like runny yolk, so any hard-cooked egg will do (hard-boiled, over-hard fried, hard scrambled). Scrambled eggs was one of the first things he learned how to cook and he made them for Sarah a lot growing up, so they're a beloved favorite.

Emma: was obsessed with eggs benedict for a while and learned to poach eggs specifically to make that dish. Now enjoys avocado toast with poached eggs on top whenever she can. Her breakfast TikToks put the rest of the fyp to shame.

Nick: knows how to cook eggs all kinds of ways and is usually the one making them for breakfast in group sleepovers; has everyone's preferences down pat. Enjoys egg in all its forms but prefers the classic sunnyside up egg; enjoys dipping bread and any other foods into the yolk. Usually has them when he feels like having a fancy breakfast.

Laura: also grossed out by runny yolk. I see her as likely to be vegan or vegetarian so they're probably not even part of her diet. Before she quit animal products she would have hard boiled eggs as mid-day snacks because they don't need much attention to make.

Jacob: American breakfast enthusiast, enjoys them soft scrambled or fried. Has been known to pour maple syrup over scrambled eggs and dip pancakes into the yolk on fried ones. Kaitlyn shames him for it every single time.

Abi: doesn't have a preference but the really cooked-through, dried yolk grosses her out a little. Usually has hers the same way the person she's eating with has them (feels like a fancy lady when she has brunch with Emma)

Dylan: wants to cook eggs the proper way but 1) he sucks at cooking in general and 2) gets distracted and then realizes his eggs are burning because of the smell. Bought himself the little container things to cook them in the microwave. Nick and Ryan were disgusted and apalled, damn bitch you live like this?

Kaitlyn: soft boil queen. Enjoys adding them into any random meal because it reminds of how her grandma included them in noodles and soup. Has them fried with breakfast and will go to town on them with Jacob.

Max: got used to not eating eggs because of Laura, but absolutely adores devilled eggs. His parents made them all the time growing up for birthdays and gatherings. He has his great aunt's recipe and makes a big batch for dinner parties with friends.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 13

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OCs: Ellie White along with her friends Allie, Abi, Malcolm, Reece, Anthony, Elijah, etc. I do not condone any copying of this

Ellie scrunched her face as she started to come around. Despite the sleep she was clearly waking up from, she felt a painful headache in her head. It felt like it was burning, but it felt like that everywhere. Like she was burning. . . burning. 

She opened her eyes, only to find that she was not laying down on a bed, but rather standing upright in some sort of metal contraption. Her thoughts jumped at first to Steve, wondering where he was and where she was, but then to her baby. Was she okay? Had she been hurt in the process? Granted, Ellie wasn't even certain that it was a girl, but she had a feeling. 

"Well look whose awake." Ellie found that she couldn't move her head, as it was to painful, so her eyes strained to take in the man in front of her. She didn't recognize him at first, as he was wearing a simple white button up shirt and brown khakis. But as he lifted his handkerchief from his pocket, she recognized him. 

"You're the man from the restaurant." She gasped out. 

"Aldrich Killian." The man introduced himself. "It's a pleasure to meet you Ellie White." He sat down on a stool that was placed in front of her. Vague details started to stick out to her, like the fact that the walls were metal and she could swear she could hear ocean waves. Were they still in Japan? Perhaps on a boat? 

She couldn't remember how she had been taken. She remembered setting the ingredients out, figuring she wouldn't take long in the shower. Then nothing. 

"It was a pain you didn't come back to the states, would've made this whole thing easier." Killian said, wiping his hands with the handkerchief and Ellie noticed that there was red amongst the dirt. Was it blood? It had to be, right?

"Steve?" Ellie coughed out. 

"You know, if I could've trusted my crew could bring in a Super Soldier, he'd be right next to you." Killian said in an easygoing voice. "But I wasn't sure and I couldn't take any chances. Perhaps if he comes to rescue you. But you're not really bait for him in the first place. Really, you're not bait at all." He touched something in the air Ellie couldn't see and soon there was a red light upon her face, making her wince. "I just want to know how Stark reacts when he sees this." 

"What?" Ellie groaned, feeling like she was on fire. She closed her eyes, scrunching them tightly. "What did you do to me?" 

She felt a hand on the side of her face and she flinched away from it, opening her eyes. If she could've, she would've ran in horror, the man in front of her lighting up like a glowstick. She swore she could see everything under his skin and it made her nauseous. 

"It's quite fancy isn't it?" He asked. "Usually, it's used for those who need to regrow something, usually a limb. I used it to correct my legs, my back. I was a very different man many years ago, when your soulmate Tony Stark forgot a meeting with me on the rooftop of a hotel." 

Ellie stayed silent, her mind trying to turn everything over while at the same time, trying not to faint from the pain. Killian must've seen her through the glass windows of the restaurant as she had talked to Tony. She couldn't remember her exact words to him as she ran into him as she left, but she was pretty sure one of them mentioned something about soulmates. 

"Tony doesn't care about me." She finally replied, wishing she could look more directly at the man in front of her. "He rejected me." The words still hurt to say after all of these months. They were forbidden words between her and Steve, never spoken about. 

"Oh I figured." Killian said in that same, uncaring voice. "I don't think soulmates usually cry when they're accepted." He grinned, "No, I think this is more just a little teaser. We'll see. The same is happening to Pepper, his current girlfriend. He may not care about you, or he might. But he isn't going to save either of you. Not until the fire either takes over your entire body or it adapts to you." 

Ellie now understood about the burning. Whatever he had inside of him, he'd put inside of her. A burning fire that conjured up images of Edward and Bella from Twilight and she'd never liked either of those characters and felt quite put out she couldn't at least imagine Carlisle. And then her mind leapt to the more important matter. 

"I'm pregnant!" She gasped out, the words leaving her mouth before she could stop them. But it was a violent realization as she wrenched her neck, trying to look down at the baby bump, letting out a cry of pain when her neck attempted to respond and wouldn't move. 

"Yes, I know." Killian replied, standing from his stool, lifting his hand up to the grab the ball floating in midair. The red light stopped and she assumed that he had turned it off. "It will be fascinating to see if it can survive. I'll come check on you later." He left the room, the metal door slamming shut. 

Ellie wasn't sure if she was trembling from the pain or the hurting realization that she could do nothing now to protect her baby. Heat was never good for a baby. You weren't supposed to take hot baths or even showers. Women had miscarried by going into hot springs. It cooked the baby and she was pretty sure having literal fire flowing through her veins was even more powerful. 

Ellie's eyes pooled with fiery tears as she realized the truth. 

She had lost her and Steves' baby. 

And it was all her fault. 

｡ ★ • * ｡

Tony strained against the tight plastic zip ties that were keeping him to what seemed like a metal bed frame, looking at the spot where Mayas' body had fallen what seemed like only five minutes ago. He heard the door open and heard the footsteps of Killian was the man entered the room. Tony had nothing to say, watching the man prop up two balls, which Tony assumed contained recording devices. 

"I have to go." Killian said. "I'm sorry our time together was so short." 

Tony hoped his suit was almost rebooted so he could blow his face off. Save the world. Get back to Pepper and let her know he was alive. 

"But I thought I'd leave you with a little gift." Killian said, motioning to the balls, which immediately produced holograms. Tonys gut churned when he saw them. 

One was Pepper and the other was a young girl Tony had never seen before. Both of them were strapped to metal contraptions and liquid fire was running through their vines. 

"Do you recognize this girl?" Killian asked, motioning to the one Tony didn't know. She was a pretty thing, with long brown hair and one of those heart shaped faces that usually only existed in book characters and not real life girls. 

Tony wanted to say no, he'd never seen this girl before. He certainly couldn't coherently remember her. But he felt like he'd seen her before, not coherently, but as though she starred in a dream. Like a whisp of memory. 

"No." He answered, because he wasn't sure. But he was certain of one thing- he'd have remembered if he'd ever talked to this girl. 

His eyes switched to Pepper, who seemed to be in the same amount of pain, her teeth gritted, head tossed back. Her pretty strawberry blonde hair was sticky and staticky around her face. How was she in danger? Had it been Maya? 

"I find it quite amusing that I've had a conversation with your soulmate before you have then." Killian said, Pepper blinking out of existence as he shut off the recording device, diverting Tonys' attention back to the other woman. 

"What do you mean?" Tony snapped. How would this man know who his other soulmate was? He would have thought Steve would have kept his mouth shut. 

"You should have seen her face as she ran from whatever hurtful words you said to her." Killian didn't answer his question but Tony felt his heart start to pound like a child whose been caught stealing candy from a teacher. "The shock, the hurt, looking like she wanted to jump off a bridge. What was it Tony? What did you say to reject your soulmate?" 

"I don't know." Tony said, wishing his answer came out stronger than the whisper it did. But he could remember something of that night. He couldn't remember any of it before, just the arrival of the airport. Now, he dimly remembers sitting in a restaurant, a bar really. Rhodey is across from him, blurry even in the vision. There's a heat he can feel, something he dreads, but there are no words, no girl in his memory. 

"Your drunkenness is a problem Stark. In fact, I believe that's the exact reason we're here. Because of promises you made to a hopeful fool while you were drunk." Killian said. "You create your own enemies." 

Killian got up from where he'd been leaning on the desk, lifting a recording ball separate from the other. "I'd thought I'd show you this first. Contains a little surprise." 

"Tony doesn't care about me." the girl said to whatever Killian had asked her. "He rejected me." 

"Oh I figured." Killian answered, "I don't think soulmates usually cry when they're accepted." He grinned, "No, I think this is more just a little teaser. We'll see. The same is happening to Pepper, his current girlfriend. He may not care about you, or he might. But he isn't going to save either of you. Not until the fire either takes over your entire body or it adapts to you."

"I'm pregnant!" She gasped out, her eyes going wide with panic. Tony winced himself as he watched her wrench her neck to look at her own stomach. He could see now that she was, indeed, pregnant, though not very far along. 

"Yes, I know." Killian replied.

Tonys' heart dropped as the recording stopped, his eyes moving over to the live of the girl. He cursed himself now for not accepting Steve. Steve had been a man of principle that would melt Tonys heart, which was why he'd made himself ice cold. But this girl. . . she had been made for him. Her luscious brown curls that though they were sticking to her now would probably feel like silk between his fingers. He could only imagine the curves, the way her body would feel against his. Her short stature, meaning he'd envelop her in his arms. Her large brown eyes that would captivate him in everyway. She was his soulmate, he didn't have to feel anything to know that. She was made for him. She was perfect. 

He was an idiot. 

He couldn't take it back. Not now. 

And she was pregnant. With his child. 

Not literally of course, but the child of a soulmate was the child of all the soulmates, rejected, dead, or accepted. It didn't matter. Whatever baby boy or girl she produced was part of Tonys' family. Not that he thought he'd see him or her of course. 

His baby. If he hadn't rejected Steve he would be holding a baby in his arms in nine months. 

"What's wrong Stark?" Killian asked softly, turning the final ball off so that it was just the two of them in the room. "You look like someone stabbed you in the heart. . ." 

"I'm going to escape." Tony said firmly, glaring at the man in front of him, "And then I'm going to kill you." 

Killian chuckled, lurching up from where he'd been leaning against the desks. "Sure you will Stark, sure you will." He walked out of the room and Tony rolled his neck. Time to see if the suit was up and working. 

｡ ★ • * ｡

Steve crept around the oil rig that Fury had dropped him too, having located Ellies tracker. Steve was annoyed that Fury had put a tracker on his wife without telling him, but at the same time was glad for it in this case. He was going to have a talk with Fury about it later however. 

Steve listened to footsteps and voices as they moved around, his eyes darting around the space. He hunched down behind one of the metal shipping containers, pulling up the device Fury had called a 'beacon translator'. Ellies tracker was a turquoise colour on the screen, approximately 20 feet to his northeast. 

Steve looked up again, peering over the blue metal. There was a building of sorts built in that direction with stairs leading into a gray cubicle shaped structure. He assumed that had to be where she was, although it was at least five stories tall with a conveyer belt coming out of one of the floors. 

"Cap?" 

Steve had heard the footsteps but hadn't realized they were on the same floor as him. He spun around, shield lifted, his gun resting on the edge of the shield. He saw it was Colonel Rhodes from his wedding and. . . shit. 

"Colonel Rhodes." He greeted under his breath with a nod. "Stark." He deadpanned. Tony had a look of guilt on his face and couldn't meet his eyes. Colonel Rhodes looked behind him at Tony and then sighed, shaking his head a little. 

"What are you doing here Captain?" Colonel Rhodes asked. 

"I'm looking for my wife." Steve answered, refusing to look at Tony. "And to arrest the Mandarin." 

"We're ahead of you there." the colonel responded. 

"You got the Mandarin?" Steve asked with narrowed eyes. 

"Turned out he was just the face of the Mandarin. An actor so to speak." Colonel Rhodes said, checking his gun. "The real Mandarin is a guy by the name of Aldrich Killian." 

"What do you have to do with this?" Steve demanded. 

"For me?" Colonel Rhodes raised an eyebrow. "Well he's sort've got the President of the United States." 

"He what?" Steve asked sharply, his attention deviating for a moment. His whole purpose was to protect the nation and now the leader was in danger. He mentally slapped himself, his thoughts returning to Ellie. Presidents were replaceable. He slapped himself mentally again for the blasphemy of his thoughts, feeling guilty and torn. 

"Right." Steve said quickly. "Well you two got the President and this Killian guy, right?" 

"Sure." Rhodes said. "If you see Pepper in there, get her out too while you're at it." 

"Pepper?" Steve questioned. 

Rhodes looked behind him, frowning at Tony who hadn't said a single thing the entire conversation. Rhodes looked back at Steve. "Another woman captive." 

Steve understood then what that meant. Tonys' woman. Steve sighed, "Got it." 

He turned and ducked away from them, feeling better with every step he took from Tony. 

｡ ★ • * ｡

The pain had subsided as Ellie stayed contained in her metal container. She had been moved beside a woman that she recognized as Pepper Potts, aka the woman that Tony Stark had rejected Steve for. But she didn't feel any animosity towards the woman who was going through the same pain as her. It wasn't her fault. She was gorgeous. 

What had caused Ellie fear now was the shooting from outside and how things seemed to be collapsing around them. A large blast into the building they were in had knocked Pepper flat to the ground, trapped under debris. Ellie was still upright, but no longer placed against the wall. She held stood as best she could, afraid any movement would tip the container in the wrong direction. 

The door flew off the hinges, flying past her line of vision. A vague, large figure stood in the doorway, the blinding lights from outside making her wince. 

"Ellie!" She recognized Steve's voice immediately and gasped aloud. 

"Steve!" 

Steve lunged in front of her, his eyes traveling all across the metal container before he made a series of precise smashes with his shield. Ellie fell out of the container, her limbs not wanting to work. Steve caught her, dropping his shield, his hands trying to brace her. 

"Are you okay? What happened?" Steve demanded, cupping her face in his hands. "Ellie what did he do to you?" 

Ellies' bottom lip trembled, her hand drifting down to her stomach where her baby once had been. "I. . . he. . ." 

"Baby please talk to me." Steve begged. 

"He injected me with some kind of fire." She whispered. "Our baby. . . Steve I'm so sorry-" Her voice cracked, tears spilling over her tired eyes. They made fresh tracks down her dirt stained face. 

Steves' heart broke at her words. He took a deep breath so he didn't start crying with her over the loss of their child. "Okay." He whispered. "It's going to be okay Ellie. We can mourn over them when we get out of here. I got to get you out of here alive okay?" 

Suddenly, another crash broke through the wall. Ellie flinched away and Steve stomped his foot down, his shield flying up to his hand, shielding the two of them. Tony didn't see them though as he bent over Pepper, trying to help her through the debris. 

"He's got her, come on." Steve mumbled, grabbing Ellies' hand, pulling her from the room. Ellie tripped over her feet in surprise, looking away from where Tony had been to Steve. 

"Wait what? We're not going to help him?" Ellie asked in surprise. 

Steve looked back at Ellie, "Tony can save his own girl." 

Ellie looked sadly at Steves' back, digging her heels into the metal the best she could. "Steven." 

Steve stopped completely, the two of them standing there as numerous iron man suits battled flaming people of fire. 

"Steve. . . you're Captain America." She whispered. "You help people, not just leave them to fend for themselves. I know Tony hurt both of us, but we can't just leave him to suffer. What if something happens to Pepper? I couldn't live with myself and I know you couldn't either." 

'Her selflessness is even greater than people claim mine is.' Steve thought. 'I suppose that is why Erskine chose me. . . she would've made an even better Super Soldier.' Steve sighed, letting go of Ellies' wrist. "You're right. I'll be right back." 

He hated leaving her side, feeling like it was the wrong move. He charged back up the stairs, bursting into the room to find Aldrich Killian (or so he assumed) on top of Tony, burning a hole through his armor. Steve threw his shield, taking the raised arm off the man, who howled in pain while Tony was able to escape. 

Killian looked up, meeting the eyes of Steve. "Oh Captain America. . . what a pleasure to meet you." 

Steve couldn't see any sign of Pepper, though there were several holes in the ground that certainly could've swallowed her up. 

"I'm surprised you left your girl out there alone." Killian said, standing up. "After all, Stark rigged all of his killer bots to eliminate anyone with a high heat signature." 

'He did what?' Steve thought dumbly. 

Killian was gone, leaping out the window after Tony. Steve, feeling frustrated with how things were going, retrieved his shield and hurried back to where he'd left Ellie. She was still there, hunkering down, watching with wide eyes at what was going on above her. 

"We need to go, now." Steve said, holding his hand out, which she took immediately. 

"Are they okay?" Ellie asked as they ran down the staircase, leaping over holes before they reached solid ground. 

"No idea, so far probably." Steve said. "But you're in dange-" He flung his shield at an iron man bot that was coming down towards Ellie. It didn't do as much as he'd hoped. He shoved Ellie out of the way, taking the brunt of the impact of the robot. He barely managed to grab the arm as it went for Ellie again, the laser beam shooting the building instead. Ellie scrabbled off the ground, throwing herself behind a metal container and the robot looked around in confusion. Steve punched its face in and then used his shield to go for the arc reactor in the middle before it was finally lights out for the animate technology. 

"Danger, right." Ellie said shakily, peering out from behind the shipping container. He could see how shaky and uncertain she looked as the two of them tried to find somewhere safe to go. Steve watched as the other fire people were taken down by multiple robots, but if it was one-on-one, they could usually melt the singular machine. 

"Steve!" Ellie grabbed his arm before he suggested that she try to heat up to defeat the robots that came near her. Steve looked over at her and then up towards where she was watching, just in time to see Pepper fall with Tony just barely missing her. She fell into the great blazing fire that they were to far away from to do anything. 

"Oh no. . ." Ellie whispered, the grip on his arm loosening. "Poor Tony. Steve we have to go help him!" She took off running, expecting him to follow. 

Steve watched her run towards their rejected soulmate, a pain in his heart. 

He wasn't enough for her. 

He couldn't really blame her. 

｡ ★ • * ｡

Ellie sat with her arms wrapped around her knees, which she had tucked up under her chin, watching everything unfold in front of her. Watching Tony embrace Pepper while Rhodey and the freaking President of the U.S. stood nearby. Steve was sitting next to her, quiet. She could tell she had upset him somehow, though he was saying nothing about himself, only being attentive over her. She still felt guilty. 

Steve stiffened next to her, but she didn't move as Tony walked hesitantly over to the two of them. 

"Stark." Steve said shortly. 

"Thanks for the rescue cap." Tony said in a strained voice. He didn't even look at Ellie, mostly looking at the empty space between the two of them. "It's going to take me some time but I can fix the fire problem. I almost did it before and I was drunk then. I have a place. . ." He hesitantly drifted off. "If you need somewhere to stay." He finished weakly. 

"Thanks Tony." Ellie said softly before Steve could interject coldly. "But I think we're okay." 

"Right." Tony said. "I'll, uh, let you know when we figure it out." 

Rhodey had his arms crossed over his chest as he observed the entire interaction, not to mention everything that had happened between them at this point. His suspicions were staring to become more clear cut. 

Steve suddenly perked up, looking over at Ellie. "I have an even better idea." 

Ellie looked over at Steve. "What?" 

Steve had already pulled out his phone, making the call. "We need to get to New York. Now." 

[mirror-imaged]

okay not to live blog nirvana initiative because i finished my gaming today right at tearer's somnium and have not done the alternate route branching off of the masked woman's yet because i do not remember what that password was but i kind of need to. yap. about it really quick. spoilers under readmore

okay so what the fuck. firstly i found out i'm close to the end of the game but it feels like there are a lot of loose threads open right now? uh? i don't feel like this is very climactic at the moment. i know date is back but we have a lot of unanswered questions , like:

- what's going on with so in this game and why has his diabolical parenting ruined everybody's lives ever all the time

- what is going on with gen and amame. i've seen a lot of people amameposting saying she's a really interesting character and implying she maybe murdered somebody or something so what. i feel like the plot threads about that kinda got dropped. in fairness that is all up to my interpretation of fanart so.

- same with ryuki's brother. it feels like that was a setup but it hasn't been addressed at all yet past his conversation with tama about it.

- why the fuck didn't shoma age

- who was the fifth corpse on the chopping block that komeji took as leverage

- who is tokiko and chikara's child ? i was guessing gen because he was in her somnium but.

- I smell whiffs of sci-fi cloning bullshit on the wind that I'm going to be frustrated by later.

- and MOST OF ALL, the thing that actually unironically pissed me off so bad I started saying FUCK OFF. PLOT POINT DECLINED. out loud to my computer, why would the fucking ABIS team reprogram the prototype psync machine to not require the removal of the left eye and leave it in a warehouse in the fucking chemical plant meltdown district and furthermore why is this clarified in the APPENDIX INSTEAD OF THE ACTUAL GAME'S STORY. BECAUSE WHEN DATE SAT MIZUKI AND TEARER DOWN AND NOBODY COMMENTED ON IT I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING INSANE. WAS THIS NOT WHAT THE ENTIRE SECOND CYCLOPS SERIAL KILLINGS' METHOD CENTERED AROUND?

furthermore, I kind of need to rant really quick? about stuff related to that? I understand why some of the character development was kinda walked back because they expect a lot of people to have not played the first game to the point of allowing you to avoid spoilers for it but. I don't like the foreboding air of mizuki-adoption-centric-family-insecurity it introduced. her whole story in the first game was about how family isn't your blood relatives it's who you choose it to be. I thought they really executed her feelings quite well and her arc ending on a note of seeing date and aiba as her family was really important to me. is this because the mizuki ending wasn't the canon timeline? I also kind of don't like how they're over explaining her sci-fi extremely strong child thing. like. it was just a funny haha it doesn't have to be a Thing. it's kind of doing the virtues last reward thing in terms of scope and scale. I liked the twist that iris's weird girl uchikoshi isms were actually a result of her brain tumor and I thought it was kind of weird that she returned to being on that even though her tumor is gone now.

I don't know. whatever. I'll come back to this post as soon as I finish the game and I'm sure the game will tie up all the loose ends I've listed here because yeah no I'm not done and I still haven't done the route where you do the password in the masked woman's somnium but. yeah. I dunno! Just chatting

[paramythas]

(𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃) 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐀𝐒𝐊

@apocryphis asked: aventurine of stratagems is many things. someone who forgets his friends' birthdays, he is not. someone who doesn't put a ridiculous amount of effort into his presents for them, he is not either. and his gifts for abi had been somewhat of a point of contention before - and since their last in-person discussion in his guest room under that dome of roses, well... let's say, aventurine had had a lot to think about. this dinner for her birthday is the first time they see one another since that night that she had caught him in a less than favourable moment; since that night she had tried to tell him something, and aventurine had not been quite prepared to hear it. to this day, he doesn't quite know what he makes of it - that quiet plea for him to... ah, he's not completely sure even now. stop rushing towards his own downfall. stop talking like all he's expecting is an end that stubbornly eludes him. stop acting like the future is something he will not get to be around for. they have not talked about it since, and aventurine doesn't think they will, or should, talk about it tonight. but he has heard her. and he has heard her comments about his gifts too - too lavish, unnecessarily so. now that - that he could more readily and easily act upon. and so he had. well. easily may not be the right word, but he had given it his best attempt. in the gift that she unwraps, abi will find a lovely, pale pink cashmere scarf, embroidered with golden roses. the cashmere is undeniably excellent quality, and at first glance, in line with aventurine's usual gifts, but... should she look closer, she might notice that the stitching of the embroideries are most definitely handmade; and a little less confident, a little less perfect than if it had been made by a professional. and along with the package, a handwritten note, unmistakeably by his hand: 'i pricked my fingers a few times, but i tried.' when she looks back at him, aventurine ventures a smile. a little softer, a little more apologetic, too. "i do listen, sometimes. promise." he mutters, his chin resting on the cusp of his palm - his other hand reaching across the table, resting with his palm upwards like a peace offering, for her to take or leave as she pleases. "happy birthday, dearest abigail. thank you for putting up with me so patiently. still friends?"

𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 '𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓' 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 their little talk would be doing a disservice to the carefully curated and calculated space she put between them.

A barrier to rival even Raine's Wall had gone up, and Abigail showed no signs of lowering it.

But much like Aventurine is someone who puts effort into his friends, Abigail is someone who is careful to appreciate their efforts in turn. Their meeting has been delayed due to her actual birthday events- something of a planet-wide event in Utgard- but she assures she'll attend, even while she laments his inability to make it to the celebration himself.

(An invitation had been sent to the Stoneheart, of course- but in the crisp white-and-gold of a government invitation, not the softer pinks of Abigail's personal stationary.

Aventurine of Stratagems as opposed to Aventurine, dear — something akin to a death knell. )

Alexa had told her not to go, point-blank, and Abigail had considered heeding her advice. They both knew, however, that to Abigail, turning down a friend when there was no real need was a grave dismissal. An action she wouldn't take now as easily as she might have in her twenties. So Abigail attends their dinner. Abigail smiles and hums and teases as is her wont, and plays her part to practiced perfection. To everyone watching, they're two dear friends having a nice dinner to make up for lost time. To Aventurine, Abigail's restrained motions and lack of contact are a glacial front- a stern reminder of her title of 'Rose of the Snowfields'.

Were it only anger that were causing this, it might perhaps be easier to deal with for both of them. It's obvious instead- a sentiment that passes between a pair of tricolor eyes and a single rose-colored one- that the real problem is that she's hurt.

Abigail isn't the one who set the distance. He is. She's simply maintaining it.

Presented with a gift, she has no choice but to accept gracefully, lifting the scarf (a sensible, reasonable gift, for a woman from such a cold planet) from its wrapping and pressing it to her cheek to marvel at its softness. Paper flutters from it as she does so, not quite hitting the table before it's in her hands, and she blinks at the words on the paper, just once. Pauses, then looks at the embroidered roses more closely.

There, the first crack.

It's clearer upon inspection- she knows hand-embroidery, a great many of her orders from Chloe use it- that the stitching has been done by a person. Not a machine, not some construct. That it's Aventurine's own hands has her fingers clenching tight in the fabric to keep them from shaking. Jolting her head up from where she'd dropped it to stare, she finds him watching. His expression is inscrutable. As carefully controlled as it ever is, but of course it is, because Aeons forbid he ever let himself be properly seen, the foolish thing.

"I do listen, sometimes. promise."

Of course he does, but that's part of the problem, isn't it? He listens, but only that. While she knows it is, inevitably, his decision what he does with his life, she just wishes he understood- how unfair he can be, melting through the layers of frost others have put up, only to leave them to realize he'd never planned to let the warmth linger. It's as infuriating as it is painful, even if she never lets either show as she watches him, her eye flickering split-second from his face to his outstretched hand.

There, the second crack.

Closing her eye, she heaves a breath- not quite a laugh, but not irritated enough to be a sigh. Honestly, she doesn't know why she puts up with him sometimes.

(Yes, she does, and that too is its own source of frustration.)

Her hands, still trembling just a touch, bring the scarf up to her face, and she leans her cheek into it, lashes lowering. Soft, the color that comes to her face, the smile that lifts her mouth, gentle and affectionate. He's pleased with himself at the reaction, she can tell.

It's a pity he's still painfully unable to understand.

"happy birthday, dearest abigail. thank you for putting up with me so patiently. still friends?"

"Just because I gave you a taste of your own medicine doesn't mean I stopped being your friend," she grumbles, playfully (practiced).

There, the third (and final) crack, before it's all sealed carefully, dutifully back up. Much like Raine's Wall cannot afford to weaken, here and now is the final reason that neither can she. Not for him. His gift is lowered, her gaze upon it still inimitably fond, but the color is gone from her face, the glimmer in her eyes dimmed. As her eye closes briefly, the glitter on her skin catches the light, flakes and falls, shimmering slightly too-bright in the sparkling overhead lights.

Carefully, the fabric in her hands is folded, returned to the box, along with its accompanying note.

"Honestly," she continues, huffing a breath, "you're like a spoiled puppy that's just been scolded for the first time in his life. All big, sad eyes and apologetic whimpering when we both know you'll do it again." This is not a chastisement, or even an insult- nothing but a statement of a fact they're both well aware of. She cannot change it, and he will not be convinced to try to. This too is a fact they're both aware of, only now it's one she's decided she must simply accept.

"Still friends," she finally assures, and the flash of teeth in her smile is aimed right for the throat. "It'd be bad for business otherwise, right?"

Though his hand remains outstretched, hers never falls into it.

(They are formed from two types of a desolation — searing heat and biting cold; inherently incompatible.

This is simply a reminder.)

[aurorafables]

From the Grey, Chapter 5.

Hey! I hope you all have an amazing summer so far 😊 Enjoy this new chapter with the boys! ⭐️

Pairing: Noah Sebastian X Nicholas Ruffilo

Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Angst, Past character death, Suicidal thoughts

Tags: M/M, M/F, Slow burn, Childhood friends, Friends to lovers, Family drama, Band fic

Word Count: 3.5k

Cross-posted: AO3

5.

I was the last one to shower after swimming in the lake, and when I got down to the kitchen, the others were already preparing dinner. Aby listed the things to do and Noah followed the instructions, just a little lost. Music was playing from the radio and they were dancing and humming the tune in perfect unison. For us, the whole band crew was like a big family. Steven handled the merch, and his wife helped out many times when we went on tour and had to take inventory. They were both irreplaceable links in a big whole, and they were friends. Steven adored Noah, he was both his father and his friend, and Aby often acted like a mom to us, even though she was only in her late thirties. “Hello, green-eyed prince,” Aby greeted me when she saw me leaning on the kitchen counter and doing nothing. Noah also turned around and gave me a little smile. “Would you like to help me slice the cucumbers?”

“Of course,” I answered and walked over to them. Noah pushed a cutting board in front of me with a knife, and Aby gave me the cucumber she had just washed. "Noah, kitty, would you go find Steve and tell him dinner will be ready in ten minutes? I think he went to the speedboat.” Noah nodded, wiping his hands on the kitchen towel, his arm brushing mine as he walked past me. I looked after him, then I concentrated again on slicing, because my fingers are needed quite a lot on stage.

"By the way, kitten…" Aby began when Noah was out of earshot. “If you're already their expert, Nick, maybe you could chime in on what's going on with Noah and that girl… What's her name?” “Karin,” I helped her out. "Oh, yes, Karin," Aby made a funny face, which made me laugh. “Noah said that Karin and him are no longer together. “I can only confirm this. But he didn't tell me much else either,“ I shrugged. “And isn't it strange that he doesn't even seem to be a little bit sad?” I didn't know how to answer. I guessed why she was curious, but I didn't feel it was fair she was asking me questions about Noah and his affairs. “I asked him several times, but he doesn't want to talk about it.” "Hm," Aby muttered as she put the spicy fish into the heated pan. ���I'm just afraid he is drowning in negative emotions. I'm sure that wouldn't end well.”

I thought back to what happened four years ago and had to agree. Noah and Jolly moved to the west coast, I couldn't even be there with him to notice that something was wrong. When I found out that Noah was not well, they already did not dare to leave him alone for a moment, he was so unaccountable due to the constant panic attacks, anxiety and depression. It all came out of nowhere, without any sign. So much crap has happened to him that no one thought that he would end up like that in a period when everything was going well.

The house was eerily quiet when I arrived with a rolling suitcase. It was weird, because in theory all four boys should have been home, but I had a key, so I didn't even have to ring the doorbell. I left the suitcase downstairs, then went upstairs and headed for Noah's room. I didn't really know what to expect, but Jolly seriously scared me with his call the night before. I immediately booked myself a ticket for the morning flight and half a day later I was in California. Jolly had just stepped out the door of Noah's room and almost gasped when he saw me. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his hair was tangled in all directions. He looked like he could use a good night's sleep. He immediately came and hugged me. "I'm glad you're here," he said with relief in his voice. I also squeezed him thoroughly and only then let him go. I noticed that he hadn't closed the door to Noah's room completely, and some purple light was filtering through the gap.

“How is he?” I nodded my head towards the door. Jolly took a deep breath and smoothed his hair back. He began to speak softly. “He's finally sleeping. He got medicine yesterday and I think it's starting to work. But he woke up many times, and there were times when he started shouting. Maybe he had a nightmare or something,” Jolly shook his head, then clenched his fists, glaring at the ground. “Fan också!” “Sorry?” I blinked at him. “Sorry, I'm tired. Just swearing…” I put my hand on his shoulder to make him pay attention to me. When he was angry, he could easily get lost in his own world of his thoughts. “What if you lay down a little too? I'll be there with him, watching him. Okay?” “If he wakes up, he will need to take the medicine again. And it would be good if he had something to eat,” Jolly listed with furrowed brows like a worried mother. “Don't worry about those. And Jolly… we'll figure this out together, okay? Noah is in a dark, depressing place right now, but we're going to get him out of there.” Jolly just looked at me for a few seconds as if trying to figure out if I really thought this was going to work. He finally decided to believe me, nodded gratefully, and then headed for his room.

I opened the door softly and entered. The night light was enough for me to easily walk to the bed, where a huddled figure lay under the covers. “Nick?” a weak voice asked hopefully. Noah wasn't sleeping anymore, but I still paid attention so I wouldn't make a lot of noise and carefully sat down on the edge of his bed. "It's me, doe," I stroked my hand through his long hair. “How do you feel?” "These stupid drugs make me completely numb," he complained sullenly. “You should sleep. Sleep is good.” "I don't want to sleep," he protested immediately, smoothing back his messy, greasy hair. “It's daytime, I should work on the songs…” “They will wait. The creation will go much better if you rest.” Noah thought about my words, but I could tell he wasn't satisfied. “No… I can't wait until then…” “I have an offer.” I took his hands, with which he was about to pull off the blanket and leave. I spoke to him firmly, looking in the eye the whole time. “You take a shower, eat something, take your medicine, and then the two of us go down to the studio, okay?” I hated giving him orders, but I read somewhere that this is the only solution for a mentally unstable person. I had to treat him like a child because he was incapable of making realistic decisions. “I also have to wash my hair…” he muttered to himself. “Can you manage it alone? I know you can do it,” I squeezed his hand. “After that, I'll detangle your hair and dry it if you want. Now go, I'll bring clean clothes after you.” Noah nodded in agreement and then got up and headed for the bathroom while I opened his closet and looked for comfortable clothes. I took out our softest band hoodie, a cozy sweatshirt, a pair of socks, and a pair of underpants, then carried them into the bathroom while he soaked in the shower. After that I left him alone, but I left the bathroom door ajar. Maybe Jolly's paranoia affected me a little.

It took months for Noah to get better, and at some point we had to admit that we weren't enough, he needed a therapist. It was a scary realization because I had never seen it like this before, and it was strange that it didn't get better overnight than it always had before. When the date of the tour was fast approaching, Noah did not object to turning to a specialist, and then we all breathed a sigh of relief. “Maybe Karin didn't mean that much to him after all,” I shrugged again. “Maybe we're overreacting.” Aby's beautiful baby face became gloomy, but she didn't question the matter any further, instead she started asking about my siblings and Maya. While the fish was crisping up in the pan and the kitchen smelled divine, we made the salad, and then Steven and Noah arrived to help set the table. We opened a bottle of white wine, put the fish and salad on plates, and then sat around the table.

Aby used to work as a bartender, and after dinner, drinks that were more than delicious could not be left out. The very dangerous feature of cocktails is that if they are prepared well, the fruits and creams completely suppress the taste of alcohol. I totally loved his Strawberry Daiquiri and was already on my third glass. The taste of strawberries with crushed ice was just what everybody needs on a warm summer evening. Aby didn't mind the rum, and I didn't notice any of it until I suddenly jumped up from my chair to fetch a Coke from the basement for Noah's umpteenth Long Island, and became a little bit dizzy. It really only lasted a moment, so I didn't make a big deal out of it, but from then on I knew I needed to slow down a bit. I carefully climbed the stone steps back and forth, but it was still better that I went because Noah was ahead of me with at least one drink and by the time I got back he was laughing at everything. "There's a web in your hair," he said cheerfully when I sat down next to him, clumsily trying to remove it with his long fingers. “See? What I won't do to get you another cocktail..” I asked dramatically. I leaned closer to him because it was nice to have my hair fiddled by him. On the other side of the living room, I noticed Steven grab his wife's waist on the way to the kitchen and kiss her quickly but passionately. I smiled. Will Maya and I be like this in ten years? “So.. Do you want me to drink another one, green-eyed prince?” Noah asked when he was done, emphasizing my nickname from Aby. I turned around to look at him because I hadn't heard that from him before. He bit his lower lip with his teeth, and his piercing, dark gaze, in which the alcohol shone like a tiny starlight, completely confused me for a moment. Aby walked up to us with a smile, placed the drink in front of Noah, and stood between us, putting her arms around our necks.

“Nick, another Strawberry Daiquiri?” she recommended it. “Thank you, I think that was enough for today,” I answered. "Then if we're not needed anymore… the trip was tiring, so we'll go to rest," Aby said, and Steven nodded in agreement. “You guys stay. Enjoy yourself and relax while you can.” “Thanks Aby, that's how we'll do it” I nodded and before she straightened up, I gave her a kiss on the cheek. Soon we were alone with Noah, who looking at his phone with his chin in his palm, his eyebrows occasionally rising to the center of his forehead. “What is that?” I asked him curiously after he laughed at something. Noah shook his head, then pushed his phone in front of me. They exchanged messages with Matt and discussed what kind of merch we could sell on the European tour early next year. At the sign "Bad Almonds", four moth-eaten almonds surrounded by our photoshopped faces, I laughed out loud. I saw that his phone was showing a message from Karin: "Can I call you?" , but I pretend nothing happened.

“Okay, I like this,” I returned his phone, opening the almond picture, but Noah's thoughts were already elsewhere. He put his phone away, jumped up and held out his hand to me. “Where are we going?” I asked him, but of course I was already on my feet and let him lead me to the door. “Do you need to know where we are going?” he asked, turning to me as we walked out the door. “Or is it only important that we are together?” The answer was clear, I would have blindly followed him anywhere. I looked down at our intertwined fingers as we hung out on the patio, Noah still waiting for my answer. I had to remind myself that this was normal. The physical contact, the desire to be in his company, the fact that I trust him more than myself… he's never been different since I've known him. But why is my heart pounding so furiously under my ribs as if it wants to burst out? “Let's go,”I told him firmly. Noah's lips slowly pulled into a smile and his teeth bit into the soft flesh again. “We just have to get out from under the roof,” he looked up for a moment. ”You can see the stars better from there.” “Oh. I didn't know you liked cliche stuff like that,” I remarked as we left the parked cars and reached a relatively straight area. Noah unfolded his hoodie so we could put our heads on it, then we laid down in the grass. “You start to appreciate these things when you live in a fucked up concrete jungle where there is so much light pollution that you can't see the stars,” he answered.

I took my cigarette out of my pocket and lit it. I took a deep breath and as I stared at the small, bright dots in the dark sky, I let the magic of the place wash over me. I felt the cool, tickling blades of grass under my bare calves and arms, the wind rustling the leaves of the trees. My hand found Noah's and I intertwined our fingers again. My eyes slowly got used to the low light and I could make out more and more things in the dark. For example, Noah's chest as it rose and fell under his t-shirt with each breath, or his profile with his perfect nose and mouth line. He started humming a song, and of course I could easily recognize it even before he started using the words. I could have listened to his voice for hours at any time, maybe he didn't know that I was his biggest fan.

"I can wait for you at the bottom I can stay away if you want me to I could wait for years if I had to Heaven knows I ain't getting over you"

I smiled and followed his index finger as he pointed the tune in the air. I put out the cigarette, and then I joined in too, with my messed-up, sandpapery voice, but so quietly that I wouldn't accidentally drown out his angelic voice.

"Weigh down on me Stay till morning Way down, would you say I'm worthy?”*

Noah finally closed his eyes and sighed. “Hey, you're not even looking at the stars!” I told him in a questioning way. He smiled but didn't open his eyes. I knew what would happen if I didn't intervene. “Noah, you're too heavy for me to carry up to the room.” “How about we sleep here… under the stars?” he asked with a yawn. “We're definitely not sleeping here,” I protested and sat up already. “In the morning, our body would be covered with frogs and dew.” Noah laughed, but he also sat up. “So you're more of a princess than a prince?” he chirped. “Let's just say that I know you, and I know that your back will hurt like hell if I let you sleep here, kitten,” I stuck out my tongue. “So no kisses with the frogs?” he asked with pursed lips. “You have strange fetishes,” I remarked jokingly as we headed inside. Noah giggled all the way upstairs, I was afraid he was going to wake Steve and Aby, until we got to their door. Clearly, they were awake. The unmistakable creaking of their bed also caught Noah's attention, and he stopped in front of me with his hand over his mouth to turn around, causing me to bump into his chest. We looked at each other, while he could hardly hold back his laughter, and I blushed hearing the moans that came out from the room.

"I understand now why they wanted us to stay down," Noah whispered in a muffled voice. ”Do you think they're making a little brother for Adam?” I rolled my eyes and started pushing Noah towards the other room. I wasn't drunk enough for such conversations. "I heard you with a girl once," he said, laughing, a little louder than necessary. Now I had my hand over his mouth and Noah lost his balance and fell back against the wall like a sack of potatoes. He found the situation ridiculous, and I only then understood what he said. We lived together for several years, there would have been little chance of something like this not happening, but I didn't know about it. “And?“ I asked, because this was the only word that suddenly came to my mind. My mind was completely foggy, probably from the alcohol, and heat was slowly creeping up my neck and face. Noah finally stopped giggling and I felt him gently bite my finger. We were close. If there had been more light, I'm sure I could have counted the faint freckles around his eyes and on his nose. He was half a head taller than me, my mouth just in line with his neck… and the tattoos on his neck. Another bite, a little stronger than the first, and I finally realized I should take my hand away. "And… and nothing," he whispered softly into the darkness when I let him go, and his mouth curled into a half smile.

I didn't question him, I stepped away, then we walked into the room in silence. I laid down on the mattress and watched the moonlight streaming through the window as Noah took off his shorts, then pulled the t-shirt over his head and threw it off. He walked over to the bed and sat on it. The tattoos on his skin glistened darkly. I wanted to watch them all one by one, including the ones I made, because it's been so long since I saw them that I started to forget. "You know, you don't have to sleep on the floor," he said unexpectedly. There was no trace of joking in his voice. He seemed more cautious, as if he were afraid that at any moment he might cross a line that he shouldn't. “I know,” I answered him in a raspy voice. “But now it's better this way. We both drank and…” “I can also sleep on the floor with you,” he offered, confusing to list my objections. I smiled. "Believe me, it would be uncomfortable," I told him. Noah finally laid down on the bed and pulled the covers over himself. I was sure it wouldn't last long, it was too hot for that, and I was right. Barely five minutes had passed when he kicked it off. I smiled again in the dark. I know him too well. Another squirm as he turned to me.

“Don't be angry if sometimes I do or say things that… damn… that a friend shouldn't. Please.” His voice sounded completely broken, and he was once again blaming himself for everything. I turned onto my stomach and rested my head on my forearm so that I was facing him. “Who cares what a friend can and can't do? When did we care about it?” I asked him. “As long as we both feel comfortable, I don't think we should worry about such things.” “But if Maya were here…” "Maya isn't here," I told him suddenly, but almost immediately I was overcome with guilt, because I didn't even want her to be there. “Maya understands that you are my best friend,” I refined my previous sentence. Noah didn't speak anymore, he turned onto his stomach and hung one of his long arms off the bed. I held his hand until he fell asleep and mine was completely numb because all the blood had drained out of it. After that, I listened to Noah's soft snoring for quite a while, and when I just focused on that, shutting out all the stupid thoughts in my head, I was finally able to fall asleep.

*Bad Omens - Just Pretend

[jackienautism]

I just saw that post about your thoughts on the counselors and I'm curious, have there been any major changes since then?

i just skimmed the post youre talking abt (i write a lot huh) but honestly? i haven't had TOO many major changes since. JUST REALIZED ITS COMING UP TO AYEAR SINCE I POSTED IT IN MAY? THATS SO CRAZY TO ME WTF but anyway

nvm ill read through exactly what i said. the post is here btw

dylan: still pretty much the same opinion as back then LMAO i did have a more recent convo abt dylan (which def changed some thoughts abt him. esp related to his potential adhd and lack of a filter) but i stilll don't like him, sorry

nick: same thoughts as before honestly. i still think he doesn't deserve abi in the slightest. and his involvement w/ emma's dare still makes me very upset, ESP when the fanbase refuses to acknowledge his involvement in it lol. i dont doubt that racism comes into play w/ nick and his whole lack of a story and such, but i jut. i cant stand him

jacob: i take back the flip flop thing btw. i lowkey cant stand him. but to be honest:? ive gotten WAAAY less tolerant of male characters in general lately. and jacob is not exempt from this lol. i have yet to play TQ again (it's been quite a bit) but! maybe after we play tonight things will change. ill prob rb again if things do

ryan: HOWEVER. DO YOU KNOW /IS/ EXEMPT FROM MY "I HATE ALL MALE CHARACTERS" MINDSET? RYAN ERZAHLER. 100%. i love him lots and ppl r very mean to him fo r no reason. i talked abt this briefly in my angourie!cady post but just. when characters show certain autistic traits that YOU ALL cant deal w/ or understand, suddenly theyre a shitty person? they don't care abt their friends? theyre boring? KILLS YOU

max: he also is a pretty respectable guy to me i love you max. but as i said originally. i dont rly think abt him much

emma: she def had the biggest shift for me while playing the game for the first time!!!!! but in terms of like. if anything changed from when i wrote the original note? i dont rly think so tbh. reread waht i wrot eback then it rly makes it seem like i hate her 😭😭😭😭😭 I PROMISE I DONT..... I ACTUALLY LOVE HER SO MUCH...... SHE MEANS A LOT TO ME....... i just cant stand how she acts towards abi sometimes. def my biggest criticism of her. but at the same time. i understand WHY she acts the way she does. she means sooo muchto me. and esp seeing all your talk abt autistic emma? i just think that makes sooo much sense fo rher.and i LOVE it so much

kaitlyn: i dont even feel lik e going throuhg it all but. i feel like she may have gotten a little lower since i wrote that post? just bc i tjhink toooo many ppl think shes better than she actually is bc of her association w/ dylan? it pisses me off sooooo bad. and ive made posts abt this before but like. her character in general still aggravates me 😭 and i DO still stand by what i said in that og post. theres jsut... shes not that complex sorry guys. esp compared to EMILY? lLIKE. i know its unfair to compare the 2 but its pretty damn obvious that thye were going for another emily in kaitlyn lmao and they FAILED. MISERABLY

abi: oh.. abi oh abi i love you. i still hold her so close to me. she is so me for real (beats anyone up who says tjhat she's Them) i mean who said that

laura: LOVE U LAURA!!!!!!!!! i still dont have like TOO many in depth thouhgts abt her but just. know ever since i began roleplaying as her shes become THAT much more beloved and :] i love you girl

THAJK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS IN!!!! AND SORRY FOR TAKING A BIT TO ANSWER

[downforthegas]

🍎 and 🐶 WH eprocto headcannons/scenarios (cause I'm gross lol)

-Ba//ar//aby probably does little gags with his farts. Like he does the whole "pull my finger" and "do you hear that" jokes. He thinks its so funny but every time he farts, he just turns whatever space/house he's in toxic. Bc of that, no one really falls for the "pull my finger" gag... except for Wa//lly. He's so gullible, falling for the gag each time -The little fart gags aren't the only thing Ba//rn//aby does. Sometimes when he's holding Wa//lly close, he holds him between his crisscross legs and farts. At first, Wa//lly doesn't know what that low, bassy noise was, but then the smell hits him. He tries to get up and leave, but Ba//rn just holds him tight, letting another fart out in the process as he forces Wa//lly to endure his stink -speaking of holding him tight, imagine Ba//rn picks up his little friend from behind, surprising Wa//lly which causes him to accidently let a small squeak out from his butt (Ba//rn almost mistakes it as a mouse). Ba//rn laughs, even calling his little toot cute. Wa//lly does his little monotone laugh, but blushes from embarrassment. But knowing that Ba//rn found joy in his little toot, he makes an effort to do it again -Sometimes Wa//lly really catches Ba//rn off guard. Sometimes he'll rip a minute long silent fart and makes Ba//rn's eyes water. Or, in very rare cases, he'll rip a loud, long bassy fart that'll get mistaken for Ba//rn's. He'll congratulate his little buddy for ripping something so huge, but also ask if he's ok (it's a big fart, it must've given Wa//lly quite the stomach ache) -They give each other tummy rubs when they get bellyaches. Sometimes when Ba//rn overeats, he'll go to Wa//lly for help (or How//dy cause he has all those arms, imagine getting two belly rubs at once). Wa//lly will crawl on top of Ba//rn's big belly to sooth the huge thing with his little hands, causing long gutteral belches and deep, bassy farts to leave him, farts that shake the ground and cause Wa//lly to say "oh you poor thing. feel better, big guy?" -alternatively, when Wa//lly get's a stomach ache, he can barely walk, especially if he's really bloated. Ba//rn just lies next to his poor friend and rubs gentle circles into his gut with one or two fingers. he'll mention that Wa//lly's flat stomach looks like a big yellow balloon that's about to pop, and Wa//lly will look away and blush, as little toots and light, airy burps puff out of him -Ba//rn has definitely ripped ass into a microphone, there's no doubting it (and probably blew out the speakers in the process)

-Ba//rn and Wa//lly have little fart contests with each other sometimes. Wa//lly always participates even though his farts don't hold a candle to Ba//rn's (bc that would just cause an explosion lol) -but sometimes, just sometimes, Wa//lly's blows Ba//rn out of the water and wins the contest instead... (only to realize there's now a wet spot in his pants) -Really I feel like they're so comfortable around each other, they don't mind farting around each other cause they're such good friends

-one last thing: Ba//rn has definitely dutch-ovened Wa//lly before. He so small and is willing to curl up with Ba//rn in bed so it's just too easy. Poor Wa//lly gets trapped in a thick blanked of stink. But Wa//lly picks up on these things quickly and gives Ba//rn a taste of his own medicine. which tastes like rotten apples lol

[abigailthedreamer]

ALRIGHT HERE SHE IS

Just dance s/I :3

If u wanna hear about her and her parents go to the link cuz this will be more focused on her actually in game. Also I settled on 2 songs for her. one for JD23 and 1 for JD24. Here we Go- O-OOOOOOO---

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The Daughter of That Psychotic bride? How amusing. And she Harbours feelings for my own Son no less? Well, you know what they say, Like Mother, Like Daughter.

Quite reserved and shy when Abi's not in her comfort zone. She currently resides in a part of the Dance-verse called Scrap-side. A place that used to be quite quiet and housed, u guessed it, scraps. It was quiet until a lot more residents began coming in because of Night swan's takeover.

The outfit on the left is what she'd call her 'Uniform' rather than her outfit. She thought if she dressed like her environment she'd be unassuming. That is until, during her dance of 22 By Taylor swift, Wanderlust, Sara, Brezziana and Mihaly dropped in to get her.

But they came in early during Abi's dance, causing her to, quite hilariously, get knocked out by the Little mirror ball. Causing her to have an interesting dream of running up a semi sinking wedding cake, and when she makes it to the top, a certain red suited man is there waiting for her. (Pretty much implying that she's always had a sorta celebrity crush on Jack Rose. She's never been able to attend a live performance of his due to her autism.)

Coming too, Abi agrees to join Wanderlust and Co since the Coaches coming to Scrap-side are her friends from JD 1-3 and she just wants to help get their homes back.

What She DIDN'T Realise is that the next coach they recruit is the very same Jack Abi has admired. So, quite bashful and nervous, she hides behind the girls and Mihaly while Wanderlust confronts Jack. If you know how Majesty begins, it doesn't go well.

As the gang splits off to save some of the coaches, Abi saves 3 herself. The dog DJ from who let the dogs out (JD1), The Big girls you are beautiful Coach (JD2) and the Crocodile teacher from land of 1000 dances (JD3).

Soon the crew take the fight to Night Swan and is able to send her away. Abi is satisfied for now, since she believes that Night Swan is the Culprit behind her parents disaster wedding.

Through IYWP and post JD23, Abi insisted on keeping in touch with the gang, Mainly Jack Rose, as you can imagine she doesn't want this chance encounter to end.

Scrap-side, thankfully is close to Dancity, So Abi and Jack would meet there on the off chances they're able to meet, Given now that Eternyx is very unstable without their leader.

Then one thing leads to another, Abi and Jack Rose do end up getting together, The roses on her headphones are ones that Jack has put on himself. So all is well.

Also since I know JD got like seasons, maybe I could have it that these two have a dance on the night they confessed. But again, all is well.

For Now.

(A minor story detail but keep it in mind for later, Jack Rose would always sing to Abi, a song he'd sing to her the most would be Treasure, again keep that in mind)

JD2024 Lore time.

Abigail, hanging out in Scrap-side, but get's a strange feeling that Something is very off. So her dance So Am I By Ava Max plays (A nice contrast to The Bride's Sweet But Psycho dance) as she as well as her 'Band of Misfits' all put together a plan to head up to Eternyx and Swan Tower to see Jack. Which includes a disguise of Night Swan's minions.

She puts it on over a surprise new outfit as the rest of the dance is her heading through Dancity and to Eternyx.

Near the end, she ends up sneaking into Swan Tower and meeting up with Jack. When the beat Drops near the end, she sheds her disguise, revealing her New outfit (One on the right) and her newfound confidence as she finishes her routine.

Jack Rose would dance with her but, he was also just awestruck at Abi's transformation. Afterwards, Jack and Abi hurry off together, Hoping to find where Wanderlust and the others have gone.

Then, Treasure happens. while the pair goes through the palace, Night swan silents Wanderlust, and presents Jack with the 'ideal' outcome, hence Treasure begins.

Where's Abi in this vision? Why, among the crowd of Jack Roses, trying to worm her way to the stage. But as the song goes along, the more she's lost and consumed by the crowd.

See why i brought up Treasure earlier? Jack would sing it to Abi when she felt insecure about herself. Night Swan took that song and twisted it to a song of utter self absorbance and narcissism.

After the song, and into Swan Lake, Jack and Abi get Mihaly's message, and Into tainted love, it's a race against the clock to get to Night Swan's ship.

But...Jack and Abi are too Late. They, Hopelessly, watch as the Ship Takes their friends away. It's now up to the pair to save them and the Danceverse at large.

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And that's all of my S/I's Lore! If u wanna do art for my S/I or the Ship between my S/i and Jack, then i'd be so damn honoured!

And yes, JDAbi is the only one to not have a dark self. (Her and Jack if u count the fact that Treasure was just a vision.) But hey, Maybe she does get her dark self in JD25 or it remains a what if.

That's it now. You're free to ask questions as well!

[poemsandpromises]

Published: 7 February 2020

Hannah is managing to split herself and compartmentalise her life between her family, her work and her affair quite successfully. In the beginning...

— Nicola Walker

At the end of series one we saw Hannah spend the night with Christie, how has that relationship developed when we re-join Hannah at the start of series two?

Yes, the relationship has developed, and that's the surprise because when we left them at the end of the last series you really weren't sure whether that was going to be a moment of sort of madness on Hannah's part. But when we re-join, they are in the full phase of an affair. No one knows it is a proper affair, it is a secret and it has all the problems that entails, so that's where we pick up.

Hannah was instrumental in the merger of both law firms, how is she settling into the new world order at Noble Hale Defoe?

She's settling in really well. Hannah always felt she had been overlooked by her own mother in their family firm, but now it’s her name over the door. So on the work side of things Hannah is where she always wanted to be. Personally however, there are problems - obviously, as she’s conducting a secret office affair! Initially I think she feels as if she is coping. She's managing to split herself and compartmentalise her life between her family, her work and her affair quite successfully. In the beginning...

How has losing Oscar for the second time affected her and her relationships with Rose, Nina and Ruth?

There's a scene where the family scatters his ashes illegally on Hampstead Heath and the characters don't have permission to do that! And I love the fact that this family of lawyers all convene to commit an illegal act with their father’s ashes. It's perfectly written and bittersweet, because for Hannah, it's the man who broke her heart as a little girl, and he managed to break it again when he came back into her life as an adult. His death is full of regret because there was a moment where she thought, he's back and maybe there is a way to have some sort of relationship with him - and now she's never going to get that chance.

What is it about Abi’s writing that draws you to her material?

Apart from the fact that the writing is brilliant, she's interested in really getting to know this family, these three daughters and this mother, and she doesn't give you easy answers in the way that she deals with their father. Abi deals very honestly with all of these women. She sees great joy in all their lives, but she doesn't shy away from the fact that there is a deep sadness in those daughters. Psychologically in the way she writes, she's really, really clever and that makes great drama.

Abi creates such beautifully authentic characters, what is about Hannah that audiences can relate to?

What Abi has created is this woman who, if you could imagine for example, seeing a profile of Hannah Stern in a legal magazine or something, her life would look brilliant. She would look totally in control, hugely successful, edging on perfection to someone leafing through a magazine. And then Abi just peels that back. She's a great leveller of her characters. We all know the truth is always far more complicated and we never know what goes on behind closed doors in real life, but in Abi's world you do get to find out what's really going on.

Having lived with this character for one series already, what were you excited to explore for a second series? Were you surprised where her story goes?

I was. Abi is the sort of writer that has already imagined these women's lives. From my first meeting, she talked to me about where this family's story goes emotionally. I knew a tiny bit of what she was looking to explore, but I didn't know the details. When I read the first episode and Hannah’s having the affair, I thought, yeah, I can see that. I think they had toyed with the idea for a little bit of Hannah leaving the family home and it not being a secret affair, so I was half expecting that, but it was really interesting when the first script came through, and I thought this sounds more true to what people do, which is she's lied. She's lying.

Not many people are brave enough to blow up their whole life up and of course, she’s trying to do the impossible, which is more interesting. She is just trying to get away with it and justifying it to herself and trying to buy herself time to make a decision. I think that is so real! A really common way that we try to deal with the emotional problems in our lives is just trying to buy a bit of time, hoping somehow the answer to what she should do is going to either be forced, or it's going to come to her.

In series one Hannah was happily married to Nathan with three children, but viewers empathised with Hannah’s pain as she learned of her husband’s affair. That’s now complicated with Hannah embarking on her own affair with Christie - how is Hannah coping with that decision?

It doesn't sit well with her! She's not naturally duplicitous. She's an equal opportunities writer is Abi Morgan! That disappointment you feel for the men and the women it's equally apportioned, that's why she's brilliant. Hannah prides herself on being a good person and I think that's really interesting when life offers you something that means you question your basic concept of yourself. She'd never do anything that might hurt her family, so she's not coping very well at all!

I think she thought she was a better person than that and it's interesting when Nathan talks about his affair very honestly at one point, and he says, he thought if you have an affair, you would feel really guilty. And you would be thinking about the children, but the truth is that he didn't, and that was what terrified him. And that is where Hannah is now and that frightens her - that she's doing these things without thinking about the damage it’s going to cause.

How do you think audiences might react?

I hope they'll find it as interesting to see a woman doing that, as they do when we see a man doing that. We see it far more from the male perspective, so I hope it will be interesting to see it from the female perspective. Abi is always pushing little things that make you see it from another angle, so it is just more complicated than simply coming down on sides.

As Hannah’s personal life goes into meltdown, her professional life ramps up taking charge of the newly merged firm Noble Hale Defoe - what kind of toll does that work responsibility take on her and her family?

To be honest, I think she seems to cope with that very well. She's very, very good at her job so work, she can handle. It becomes interesting with one of the cases, especially as she completely loses patience with a couple about the adoption of a child, and it's the first time you really see a little bit of the personal life coming into that office situation. Her patience runs out because of where she is personally at the moment.

Hannah’s role as a mother and a daughter herself appears to get more stressful this series - how has her relationship changed with her mother Ruth, and also with her teenage daughter?

The relationship with her teenage daughter continues to be some my favourite scenes to act, with lovely Lizzie. It gets complicated because Liv is old enough to see things and is asking direct questions, and her mother is having to tell her some truths that no teenage daughter wants to hear. I think it’s a testament to what good parents Nathan and Hannah are, but their younger children are quite protected and the eldest is given as much information as they think she can handle.

As for Hannah’s mother Ruth, she knows everything about them, and she sees everything. And this time there's this moment where we're all sat at event thinking Ruth is going to leave the company. She’s getting a Lifetime Achievement Award and of course she gives this brilliant speech where she says she’s not going to be put away in a cupboard, or put up on the shelf thanks very much, she’s not going anywhere. She wants to live more, her appetite for life and work is still great. And I think as difficult as their relationship sometimes is, Hannah really respects that.

The big case this series revolves around a popular celebrity couple living a very public divorce - can you tell us a bit about the case?

I've landed a huge case of the company and it's exactly what the company needs: it's high profile, there’s a lot of money involved and it will be very good for the company's reputation. But as the series goes on it becomes apparent that what that case is really about is a very abusive relationship, and the abusive nature of non-disclosure contracts.

What has it been like literally stepping back into Hannah’s shoes? Has her style evolved?

Hannah knows that she's capable of this new role in this company and that is reflected in the way she dresses. The clothes are important in that they are part of the job. It’s important for her to dress in a way that is equivalent to her status, but they have a purpose.

Your characterisations tend to get under the skin of viewers, who can relate to what they are seeing on screen. What have viewers most responded to about Hannah so far?

I've had some really brilliant and sometimes very funny feedback on The Split, which I know that Stephen has as well. I've had people saying when I’m out shopping, I can't believe Stephen Mangan did that to you! I really liked him, I can't believe he did that!. Like, people are really angry with him! And then quite a lot of women saying, oh, that Christie, I can't blame you! People seem very comfortable to be very vocal about the relationships in Hannah's life and I've never had that before, it’s very funny! I’ve had ‘I'm team Christie!’ shouted at me at the checkout.

Abi Morgan chooses words carefully - are there particular scenes that you’ve particularly relished this series?

I mean, that's an almost impossible question. There isn’t a wasted theme in Abi's work, they're all corkers. I did love this scene where Nathan and I have a row, and in the show, in the edit you don’t hear what we’re saying. You see sort of flashbacks and you get the impression it is the monumental row. It's the row of your nightmare, where you and your partner are not only raging, weeping, screaming, you're being really truthful. Me and Mangan know what those things are because we played the scene and I can't say it was fun, but it was such a brilliant scene to shoot because I don't think I've read a scene that's that truthful, where it felt like you were a fly on the wall of your best friends' kitchen when they are fighting.

Has working on The Split changed your view of marriage and divorce?

It's changed my view of Hannah Stern's marriage. I'm trying to keep it separate just for the sake of sanity! It certainly changed the way I thought I understood where Hannah and Nathan's marriage was. Turns out I didn’t understand it at all. It’s like Hannah was an observer in her own life; she was outside of her own life looking in and in the second series, she gets inside. She's actually inside looking out for the first time. Have I done that in my own life? No, not yet!