#abandoned by what might as well have been another parent in the form of their sire...

[byanyan]

byan in their fledgling verse being more depressed than ever because they feel even more abandoned now than they did in life. byan being angrier than ever because somehow, their life has become even more unfair and they feel like a stupid, worthless kid again, left to fend for themself and figure everything out on their own. again.

this manifesting some days in low energy and them struggling to bother leaving whatever hole in the wall they've crawled into, often sleeping through most if not the entire night. a suicidal urge to step out into the sunlight, but they're physically incapable of bringing themself to do it, to put themself out of their misery. a temptation to let themself get hit by a car just to fucking feel something. hunting around bars and clubs in order to feed on those who are drunk or high so they don't have to spend the night sober.

other times, it manifesting in increased volatility and destruction. they're faster to snap or resort to violence than ever before, many nights spent breaking things, destroying property, and beating anyone who gets in their way. the fights they get into for "fun" are more brutal, get taken farther than they ever used to, sometimes resulting in someone dead at their hands accidentally, still not knowing their new strength and thus not having proper control over it. being more prone to frenzy, but it being as easily triggered by desperate rage as by hunger.

byan being a fucking mess, isolated and furious and not knowing what to fucking do, and concealing this as best they can from the few people they have in their life.

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Halloween prompts year 2 day 14

Tim was the best thing to ever happen to Danny.

He didn't mean that just because how much of a sappy romantic he was to Tim, but because he literally saved him from his own mind.

Danny was never going to leave Amity Park so long as the portal was open.

The portal would always remain open between his parents practically treating it like thier third child and thier ability to simply make another if anything would have happened to that one. Not to mention the super creep named Vlad.

So Danny would have stayed in Amity forever, cleaning up after his parents and being miserable.

Or ya know. Until they managed to kill him.

But then Tim came into his life and fixed everything. He befriended Danny over nightime rooftop rendezvous and groaning at his dumb (read awesome) puns.

As they got closer Sam and Tucker seemed to get both anxious and angry. Were they jealous? What right did they have after the Gregor incident?! Its true that they'd both been to busy to hand out with Danny for the past few weeks, leaving Danny with only Tim to turn to for company.

Tim pointed out that they may feel threatened knowing someone else knows his secret and Danny couldn't help but agree.

Tim pointed out that Danny was going to be stuck here cleaning up after his parent the rest of his life if he didn't find a way to stop the portal. Danny had nearly broke down at that and admitted he didn't know what else to do, so Tim devised a plan with that big beautiful brain of his.

They created a machine that ran on ectoplasm and magic that could wipe information from both technology and the human brain. They could remove all traces of ghosts ever existing in this town and erase 20 years of knowledge and research from Vlad and the Fentons minds, but it would come at a cost as magic usually does.

They would have to forget Danny existed as well. Tim offered that they could run away together.

Danny decided that was okay. The only person he had left in this town who had cared about him was Jazz and she was better off without him there to get her hurt.

Tim also had a plan to strip Vlad of his powers as well as his knowledge, and Danny was looking forward to not having to deal with him anymore

It was the day after everything went down, Tim was driving the GAV while Danny flew in the Ops Centers Jet form. They had made sure to swipe everything they could from the labs as well as everything the thought they needed to travel to Tims home dimension.

Danny had promised to help Tim uncover the secrets of his past and who he really was and to do that they essentially planned to travel around the Earth being wandering criminals.

Between Tims intellect and Dannys powers they were undefeated and unnoticed. They stole whatever they wanted and did whatever they pleased, making sure no one had to get hurt unless there was no other options.

Of course they stole cash from bank vaults as well as whatever else was in there. They couldn't stop Phantom from entering since anti-meta tech didn't affect him and couldnt track Phantom due to him being whatever he was plus the collar Tim had helped Danny design that covered up his ecto-signature.

They lived like this for over a year, breaking in to abandoned places, having waterfights in large city waterfountains (and running when they heard police sirens), tagging some of the places they'd hit when they wanted to leave a message, long romantic walks at night, lots of laughter, going on dates to restaurants (they never dine & dash. Some places make the wait staff pay which is bull and they might want to return to that establishment at some point), that one time they stole a $900 wedding cake from a homophobic bakery owner, lots of Fake out-Make outs to avoid getting sent to jail, ect.

They were having the time of thier lives up until they stopped in a little 24 hour diner in Bludhaven. They were doing what they usually do, flirting and laughing until the waiter takes thier order, when a guy approached thier table. Tim and Danny exchanged worried looks before the guy held up his hands in mock surrender, "I'm not gonna hurt you, I promise, I'm Dick Grayson." The man held out his hand to Tim, who hesitated before shaking it, "Tim," he answered honestly.

Danny nudged him with his foot under the table.

The man smiled wide, "Like Tim Drake?"

Tim and Danny looked confused, "Like who?" Danny asked and Dicks smile faltered

[apomaro-mellow]

King&Prince 11

Steve had spent the rest of the day alone in his room. He had a feeling the only reason that happened was because the king himself had given an order to the kids not to bother him at all. Most of the hours he sat at the window sill, looking out onto the land that was supposed to be cursed.

But it was quite the same as the land he'd been raised on. What other lies had his family told about this place? About these people? There were still things Steve didn't understand. It felt like a puzzle had been formed with mixed pieces that no longer fit together.

He wondered how long his father took to make his decision to abandon him. Had he paced around? Had he weighed his options at all? Or had it been an immediate breath of relief when he was able to rid himself of his son? Then he thought about his mother.

She was always softer on him, but in the end never failed to side with her husband. Steve felt he couldn't begrudge her for that, but still wished to know if she argued with him even the smallest bit when he did this.

Steve thought he had known his worth. He might not be the son his parents wanted, but he was still a son. Still a crown prince, born and raised to one day rule. They had put so much work into him. They wanted to send him away, yes, but to be trained and come back even more prepared for his future role as king. They were tossing him away like it all meant nothing.

Well they could always make anoth-

He felt the burn of tears coming on before the thought even finished. They would, wouldn't they? They'd just start over with another child. One that they'd bring up right. They would forget all about Steve. They might even go as far as to strike his name from the record. What need would they have to remember him? He had accomplished nothing under their parentage. Nothing of note to them anyway.

So what was next then? What could he accomplish here? Suppose the king wasn't playing a trick and actually meant what he said. That Steve would be under his protection. What would he be allowed to do? What could he pursue?

Well, he made a pretty good pack mule. Maybe manual labor was in his future. Steve laughed to himself at that. From royal heir, to prisoner, to humble servant. He didn't realize how long he'd been in thought until it started to get dark around him. He turned away from the window, about to start getting ready for bed when he heard a tapping and caw.

There was a raven at the window.

Its wings flapped and it was carrying something in its talons, wrapped in paper. Steve looked at it warily and then the bird cawed again in what sounded like annoyance. Steve opened the window and the bird flew in, dropping its package onto the bed. The bird nudged it towards Steve with its beak.

"You brought that for me?", Steve asked.

The raven cawed.

Steve opened it up carefully and inside was a sandwich. His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn't eaten much today. He then looked to the bird. "You must be one of the king's messengers?"

The raven's expression was unreadable, but then again he supposed most birds' were. Steve sat on the bed and reached forward to pet the top of its head then under its chin. The raven leaned into it like it was enjoying the scratches.

"You can tell your master...thank you. And here." Steve opened the sandwich and took out some of the meat. "Your delivery fee."

The raven took it carefully into its mouth, cawed at Steve, and then left out of the window into the darkening sky.

This felt like another olive branch. The king assuring him that he was safe here. Steve didn't know what his role would be, what he could accomplish or pursue. But he had the feeling that he might be given the time and the space to decide that for himself.

------------------------

The next morning, Steve got ready and was about to leave his room in search of breakfast only to find the king, fist poised to knock.

"Your Majesty?"

"Y-your Highness. Good morning. Didn't expect you to be up so early."

"I'm an early riser by nature", Steve said.

"Then you're just in time for breakfast."

Steve was led down the halls but this time instead of going towards the kitchens, they went into a different room. There was a grand table and at it Robin and Nancy already sat. There was the man from the ambush that Steve recognized but didn't know the name of. King Edward-no Eddie, his name was Eddie, wait, was Steve allowed to call him that? Safer to keep it formal for now. Anyway, the king took his seat at the head of the table.

The only open seat was at the other end, so Steve took it. Nancy didn't look too happy to see him but it wasn't so much that Steve worried about poison in his food. Breakfast was served and the other four mostly kept the conversation going while Steve sat silently chewing. They seemed to be discussing the proceedings of an event happening soon.

It reminded Steve of the festivities happening back home. People would be coming out more, having picnics, and the seasonal fruits that could be enjoyed now.

"So you're not even going to put a leash on him?", Nancy asked, getting Steve's attention.

Eddie grinned. "I'm rather certain his bark his worse than his bite."

"Care to put that to the test?", Steve asked with a raised brow.

"I'd advice against stepping into an arena with Eddie", Jeff said.

"I know I look like a wispy thing, but I can be a heavy hitter", Eddie said, twirling a fork full of egg around.

"I'll believe it when I see it", Steve said. One of the few things he was confident in was his ability to fight.

"I think your time is best spent tutoring someone less trained", Eddie said.

"...You mean Lucas?"

"You want him training Lucas?", Robin asked, jabbing her thumb toward Steve.

"Why not?", Eddie shrugged. "One couldn't ask for a better teacher than a prince."

Steve didn't think it was meant as a compliment. But something warm in his body swelled like it was. Right as breakfast finished, Nancy produced a sheet of parchment and walked it over to Steve, placing it in front of him.

"Your new schedule."

"You made me a schedule?"

"It was the only way she'd allow you free reign of the castle without a binding spell", Eddie said.

Steve had been looking over the assignments when Eddie's words sunk in. He looked up, feeling a mix of awe, confusion, and gratitude. "You're...giving me free reign of the castle?" Of his home?

Eddie smiled in a way that seemed more genuine. "I see no harm in it. Like I said, you're not a prisoner. Think of it as something like an exchange program. Princes travel abroad all the time, don't they?"

Steve looked at the schedule. He noted that each thing had someone with him, almost like a chaperone, sometimes multiple people. If Nancy was the one making this, he was sure it was intentional. But he understood. He hadn't fully proven himself as trustworthy. For the first time, Steve considered if he might kill Eddie if given the chance.

Would his father welcome him back with open arms then?

He shook off the thought, already knowing the answer. If he killed Eddie there was nothing good in it for him.

"When do I start?"

Part 13

Tag Team

@thesuninyaface @only-evanescent @snakeorsquid @ignoremyworld @theclichefortunecookie @goodolefashionedloverboi @just-a-tiny-void @0body0disphoria0 @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @samsoble @jamieweasley13 @y4r3luv @xtkxkrzrizir @un-knownperson @greekgeek24 @justdrugsformethanks @potato-of-the-lord @notaqueenakhaleesi @swimmingbirdrunningrock @queenie-ofthe-void @nebulainajar @lil-gremlin-things @nicememerino @robininblue @hornedqueenofhell @anne-bennett-cosplayer @moomkin77 @here4thetrama @bookworm0690

[kurishiri]

I read this hellhole of a route to find out more about Alfons

this post is a like a semi-detailed dump of information which may be updated below the cut on Alfons, and a bit on his relationship with others like Elbert, Roger and Kate, that can be seen from his main story. I guess it’s made for those who want to learn more about his character (and for my own silly note taking), or are curious about him, but may feel upset at cw: a lot of explicit dub/non-con scattered throughout the story, especially in the first half or so. So yes, there are spoilers about Alfons and his route under the cut!

the gist of why Alfons is the way he is (constantly going out at night, drinking in the afternoon, etc.) is because of his curse and his tragic fate

his curse is the mirror curse, which gives him the ability to change others’ perceptions if he touches the nape of their neck, in exchange for being forgotten

in other words, he’s destined to die without leaving any trace in the world

once he dies, his memory will be “forcibly” erased from people’s minds and in written form, but objects may still remain; in other words, he himself is treated as an illusion by his curse

Alfons was born in the east end (aka the slums) as a “nameless” orphan, though it’s implied his parents named him such before abandoning him

as long as he could survive, he took up any identity, with his current one being a “noble” so that he could stay by Elbert’s side

at first, this was likely for survival and living off Elbert’s money, and then some sense of guilt may have played a role in his sticking to Elbert’s side, saying that he couldn’t make him “go crazy” though Elbert said when they first met, Alfons said what he needed to hear

anyhow though he tries to keep his distance, it’s implied Alfons had let Elbert into his heart and Elbert can tell when Alfons is lying, but this may have been a subconscious thing on Alfons’ end as he naturally spent a lot of time with Elbert

I think Alfons does genuinely care for Elbert, in his own way (I guess he thinks of him like a bit of a troublesome “childhood friend”); when he was intending to leave a final farewell, he wrote a note to Elbert, and Elbert alone, wishing him to live a good rest of his life

he was subjected to a lot of manual labor as a child, by the orphanage he stayed at

though he was corporeally punished sometimes, he mentioned dissociating so that he didn’t feel the pain of the punishment

while being worked to the bone, though, he managed to befriend a cat

legit this cat actually had a chokehold on his past — it had a lot of significance in Alfons’ backstory

so basically child Alfons is like “at least I can love this cat” and he hopes the cat will remember and love him

the fact the cat might remember him was what kept him going; this is important to remember

because sometime later after he got kicked out of the orphanage, he was out polishing shoes and that’s when he met child Roger, who is a little older than Alfons

in exchange for being paid, Alfons agreed to let Roger research or experiment a bit on Alfons’ curse. Since at the time, Alfons didn’t know how to activate his ability, they sorta experimented with that

in the end they figured it out and Roger ended up eating shoe polish because Alfons said “this shoe polish is your fav food” 😭

but Roger was excited to meet another cursed one and he got a bit too carried away by casually telling Alfons what his cursed fate was: he is destined to be forgotten

this hits Alfons really hard and he wants to go back and check on his cat

yeah well it turns out this cat was actually the director of the orphanage??

the cat had apparently died a little while ago while Alfons was still in an orphanage, probably taken out by the director, and he couldn’t take that reality and so he basically uses his ability on the director to act as his cat, or he simply just dissociates from reality

(so that’s why there were rumors floating around that the director of the orphanage had turned into a cat, and why he was kicked out I think; there’s quite a bit of unreliable narration on both ends throughout the story just because of the nature of Alfons’ curse)

it is here where Alfons first says this little catchphrase he says at the end of his route preview: “if you can’t take your reality, then you can run away from it. And if you can’t run away from it… you can just go crazy.”

he has these thoughts like “it would’ve been better if I didn’t check on the cat, if only I could’ve kept dreaming”

but anyway that is why Alfons doesn’t like Roger, even now. Though he’s a lot more.. reserved about it I guess because he’s now a “noble”

when Roger first presented this info Alfons was really emotional

at present Alfons goes to the east end at times to give people there an illusion or a dream, something that’ll make them feel better

he uses his ability without caring what happens to him — because what’s the point?? He’s just going to be forgotten in the end

he claims he’s doing this for entertainment, just as he hangs around Kate for entertainment, but she suspects he does this kind of thing out of kindness (though it may be like a twisted type of kindness)

after all, it seems like Alfons uses his ability for others, when others need it, like when they’re suffering

Alfons doesn’t confirm nor deny Kate’s theory about him, but Kate feels this is the “truth,” and Alfons calls her “straightforward” and a fool

however he seems to hold respect toward Kate for being able to face reality, no matter how harsh it is because this is something he couldn’t do himself

and he is pretty self-deprecating about it too, since he can only give them a “temporary escape” and he believes that is the extent he can give due to his fate and the nature of his curse — he can only have “fleeting relationships” with people like Kate, encouraging her if she ever needed an escape, she could come to him, but that was all he would be willing to give

or, that is all he thought he could give, as he also thinks himself as unable to love others (though by the time he tries to actively push Kate away trying to convince her that her feelings are a misunderstanding, he likes her back)

he just doesn’t want to be close to her, nor does he want her to be close to him, because Kate would end up forgetting about him anyway, so he tries to push her away by doing bad things to her

in fact, he values his life so little — he would disappear completely for Kate

and he also believes he can’t feel love, but he admits to having this feeling of wanting to make Kate despair, perhaps so that he can carve his presence into her while Kate tries to find a way to maybe change his tragic fate

he likes cats but has complicated feelings toward them due to his past, but he sometimes goes out and feeds strays

[litnerdwrites]

So Nesta might also have second hand trauma...

+ Elain is a hypocrite.

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.”

This quote has rubbed me the wrong way since I read ACOSF for the first time. I reblogged and responded to a post by @simmanin where I discussed how Elain is a hypocrite for this line, since the IC have never considered what Nesta's trauma did to her. That was one of two thoughts I had regarding this quote, the second being how Nesta's reaction seems completely logical.

I think Nesta's response to Elain wanting to search for the Cauldron to be a form of real trauma caused, not only by her mother, her father's neglect, the cauldron, turning fae, the war and the shit ACOSF put her through, but also the trauma faced by Elain. This is a form of trauma called Secondary traumatic stress disorder.

Secondary trauma is most common in health care workers and mental health professionals, as well as others who help and deal with other people's trauma on the regular. This, to me, makes complete, logical sense. If you're exposed to so many traumatic experiences, even if it isn't directly, on the regular, then it makes sense that your mental health would also suffer for it.

There have been cases in which a person goes through trauma, and their family members, like siblings, develop secondary trauma as a result. Moreover, it's natural for any form of trauma to affect a person's relationships with friends and family, which we see happen to Nesta in how she distances herself from even Elain.

It makes complete sense that Nesta, who has set herself up as Elain's protector their whole life, and acts as more of a mother figure to her, would develop some form of secondary trauma when she almost loses Elain, or watches Elain endure suffering when shoved into the cauldron.

It wouldn't be far fetched for a parent/sibling to develop a form of secondary trauma after almost losing their child/sibling, in an accident or at the hands of another human being. So why is it that nobody considers that Elain's kidnapping caused even more trauma for Nesta.

While I'm not trying to say that it should come before Elain's trauma and experience, it also isn't okay to discount and overlook Nesta's just because her coddling of Elain is considered a bad trait. It isn't good that Elain is coddled like a child, but using it as an excuse to disregard the obvious traits of trauma that Nesta is showing is unfair to her, and just another example of Elain, perhaps unknowingly in regards to secondary trauma, thinking only about Nesta's trauma is doing to her. How she's upset by the way Nesta handles it, rather than considering that Elain's support is the one Nesta needs the most.

Nesta spend her whole life feeling like a failure. To her mother. Her grandmother. To Feyre. To Amren. To the court. Nesta grapples with feelings of self worth and views herself as a failure for being unable to protect those she loves so fiercely, which greatly affects her mental health and is a huge factor in driving her to want to commit suicide. The only thing she didn't feel like she failed at, was protecting Elain. Until the cauldron. Until Hybern. Until they were dragged into a war that Nesta wanted no part of, but got involved with because of Feyre's request and Elain's insistence.

Nesta tried to give to Feyre what Feyre gave to her in that cabin when she allowed her to use their home (despite Feyre's friends accosting her for issues that aren't theirs to address or comment on), and even then, she feels like she failed when the mortal queens turned traitor. Failed to make it up to Feyre, failed to protect her people, and when Hybern came, failed to protect Elain.

Now, for Elain to not only reinforce those negative feelings, but dismiss Nesta's traumas entierly, from the moment the war ended, is cruel. Elain is a hypocrite. She is a hypocrite who was quick to abandon the one person who's been in her corner for her entire life. While there are clearly issues between Elain and Nesta that need to be sorted through, especially in regards to how Elain is coddled and borderline infantilised by her Nesta, discrediting Nesta's trauma, the way she's accused of doing to Elain despite how Nesta sacrificed her own healing just to be by Elain's side and get involved in the war, again, at Feyre's behest, is not how you go about it.

Nesta appears to have a form of secondary trauma that stems from Elain's own traumas, and she's not the only one. I think tamlin's actions stem from a form of secondary trauma from watching how Feyre suffered and died under the mountain. It doesn't make what he did right. It doesn't excuse his actions. Nor does it excuse Feyre's, since one might argue that seeing her sisters dumped into the cauldron gave her a form of secondary trauma too (since Mor mentioned Feyre feeling responsible for what happened in acofs, and wanting to fix all their problems as a result).

However, it does explain them. Much like how Nesta's traumas, first and second hand, explain her actions. That's not to say that an explanation is an excuse. It merely provide a context from which to examine their actions can be examined and create a path to empathy and compassion. Whether they're forgiven and forgotten is entierly up to those affected by their actions (pretty much just Feyre and maybe Elain for the coddling), and in the case of fictional media, audience discretion.

Nesta has certain things she should apologies for (again, to Feyre mostly, and maybe a little bit Elain), I don't disagree with that. However, none of that can happen until Nesta is able to heal.

The quote above is the perfect example of Nesta being denied that, despite the delusion of the IC in thinking that's what ACOSF was about. Her trauma isn't considered valid by the Ic, or even her own sisters, which is why it isn't treated as such.

So to sum it up, yes. Nesta is thinking about what Elain's trauma did to her because it did have a very real affect on her. It caused real trauma that Nesta has to deal with. The dangers faced by Feyre and the entire court, cause her trauma. She suffers with the fear of losing those she loves so fiercely so that her mental health took a swan dive because of that, amongst other reasons. Yet nobody acknowledges that Elain's suffering, real and horrible as it may be, also caused Nesta pain. Hell, they don't acknowledge the pain Nesta's own suffering caused her, much less anybody else's.

Also Elain and the IC just prove that they have no empathy or compassion despite their own traumas being so similar to the hell they're putting Nesta through. Either their traumas weren't traumatising or the cycle of abuse broke the so badly that they can't even recognise the abuse they put others through.

[steddieunderdogfics]

This week’s writer spotlight feature is:  Pricklywhicket/@messessentialist ! Prickleywhicket has four fics published to AO3 -- All in the Steddie tag!

Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by pricklywhicket:

so let's sneak in from the cheap seats, honey

it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)

start by pulling him out of the fire

"Sadie is so super talented in the way she describes literally everything. She is so good at writing and it's a shame that she's flown under the radar because she's not the quickest at putting things out there." -- Anonymous

Below the cut, Pricklywhicket answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!

Why do you write Steddie?

Why do any of us write anything? Because we want the story to exist in the world, and it doesn’t yet, so we gotta hike up our pants and do it ourselves!

What’s your favorite trope to READ?

Hurt/Comfort. I’m always a sucker for the blorbos taking care of one another, in whatever form that takes. This has always been true, across a truly astronomical number of fandoms I’ve found myself dabbling in over the years.

What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?

…actually, probably hurt/comfort! I just need to get those little dudes some validation and unconditional positive regard, okay?

What’s your favorite Steddie fic?

I’m sure I won’t be the first one to say this, but: I HAVE TO PICK ONE????? Okay, alright. I can do this. I’m gonna say…Sanctuary by SpicedSage.

Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?

I’ve only written canon or canon-adjacent fic so far, so I’m eager to work on something that’s completely AU. I think there’s a unique challenge to keeping characters recognizable as themselves in a world that might not have all the same contexts that made them into that person.

What is your writing process like?

I would love to say it’s super organized and well-planned, but the truth is it’s mostly about routine and responsibility. I set aside time to do it every day, even if I can only tap out a few sentences. I’m not very strict about writing in a straight line - I can stop a scene if it’s giving me trouble, write a note about what I think happens in some [brackets], and move on to something that I have more fully fleshed-out ideas for. Sometimes writing the next scene helps you know more about what needs to happen in the current one. 

Do you have any writing quirks?

I'm sure my betas would say yes 🙃 I tend to write a lot of dialogue - a lot of my revision process is going back through and realizing I have two pages of a conversation with no indication of what’s physically happening in the world around the speakers.

Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?

Definitely when I’m finished. Prior to my ‘23 bang fic, I had never written anything chaptered. I knew going in that I could NOT start posting if it wasn’t finished, because I’ve been burned too many times by abandoned works. I didn’t want to do that to people reading my fic, and the best way to avoid it is to finish before you post.

Which fic are you most proud of?

Easily start by pulling him out of the fire. The biggest, most ambitious thing I’ve ever attempted - I still kind of can’t believe I wrote 85k.

How did you get the idea for start by pulling him out of the fire?

Like most terrible ideas, it was spawned in a fandom discord chat. We were discussing the tendency of Steddie fics to centralize the party at Steve’s house, because his parents are never there anyway. And then someone mentioned what if the parents came home and found their house occupied, and someone else mentioned Wayne being there, and it just sort of…spiraled out from there.

When writing start by pulling him out of the fire, what was something you didn’t expect?

I had no idea, going in, that I was going to write a comprehensive history of the Wayne and Eddie Munson relationship. I started writing it where I did to give some background on Wayne’s existing distaste for the elder Harrington, and then I just…kept writing. Over the course of a month or two I wrote 20k of WayneAndEddie that I had no idea was in me - it just kept coming.

What inspired it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)?

@wynnyfryd. It was a gift for her birthday. We were talking about our mutual love of Letterkenny, and she mentioned that the episode was her favorite and wouldn’t it be funny if someone wrote… and the rest is history.

What was your favorite part to write from it's supposed to be fun (turning twenty-one)?

I had an unreasonable amount of fun with that one in general. But I think my favorite part was Eddie polling the party about what Steve means to them all. It was fun to sort of put myself in each character’s shoes and think about how they would answer. Plus y’know, any excuse to unironically love on Steve Harrington.

How do/did you feel writing so let's sneak in from the cheap seats, honey?

I believe my exact words upon deciding to write it were “jingles miserably to a blank google doc.” This was a classic case of saying “god I wish there was a fic where—” and having friends tell me that it was now my responsibility to write it. I’m glad I did, though. I love that story, and it proved to me that I could write sex and publish it and not burst into flames. I also just really, really love summer storms. And Wayne’s use of the singular ‘herpe.’

What was the most difficult part of writing so let's sneak in from the cheap seats honey?

Getting over the fear of publishing something E-rated. It was just something I hadn’t done, and I had a lot of anxiety that people were not going to respond well to it. I made three people individually review the sex scenes before I even asked anyone to beta the full fic. Of course I was worried for nothing, the reception for that fic was super lovely and gave me the confidence boost I needed to attempt start by pulling him out of the fire!

Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?

This is like asking me to pick a favorite child. I’ll say this: most of my favorite lines in start by pulling him out of the fire were taken directly from conversations @wormdebut and I had about the fic. She’s my number one cheerleader and sounding board, and sometimes she’s so goddamn funny that I just have to include it. You have her to thank, for instance, for Steve quite literally dropping his croissant when he first sees Eddie in glasses.

Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?

I have a couple of irons in the fire, but nothing I’m ready to share just yet! I’ve been taking a breather from writing (blame baldur’s gate 3, okay) but my WIPs are still very much IP. Stay tuned!

Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?

Not that I can think of!

Thank you to our author, Pricklywhicket, and our anonymous nominator! See more of pricklywhicket's works featured on our page throughout the day!

Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!

[platinumrosetail]

can you please do a platonic Poseidon x victini reader ok this is a long one so basically the reader used to be human she was taken away from the ror world and was sent to the world of Pokémon a few years later she was sent back in time to hisuian and thanks to volo the reader was turned into a victini soon she was sent back to normal day and met N now in this N is a zoroark he and the reader where together before the volo thing happened and there still together now one day both the reader and N was sent to the ror world and for some reason Poseidon felt like he knows the reader so they do a DNA test and everyone is shocked but in the end Poseidon let's the reader data N (so the reader does have a human form and obviously because N is a zoroark he can disguise himself as a human N can talk to people in his true form of a zoroark and so can the reader so they can talk normally and it's ok if you don't do this it's just been in my mind for awhile)

Oooh interesting, the reader being Poseidon’s daughter is an interesting twist, also oooh gotta love the ‘N is a zoroark theory’ au 🤩.

Warning: noob author, female reader, and others.

Character: Poseidon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were adopted by a elderly couple when you were a baby who found you abandoned with no parent or guardian around you or searching for you and the area they found you in so after checking to see if you do have any guardians they adopted as they couldn’t bear to see what would happen if you were to be put into an orphanage.

You decided to become a trainer when you were a preteen as you wanted to learn more about the Pokémon and world around you, so after saying sweet farewells to the elderly couple you set off on your journey after getting a starter pokemon.

You, now a young adult, were just minding you business out in a field having a picnic with the pokemon you caught so far before a wormhole appeared and dragged you in it leaving you without your precious pokemon. You appeared in a different setting, more in the past times than the one you were used to which made you assume you time traveled into the past of sinnoh by that wormhole, also previous known as hisui, you later confirmed that you were correct on it being the past by the galaxy corps.

You learned about the things that happened here in the past by experiencing them, you even seen some ancestors to the people you seen in modern times which you figured was the ancestors descendants. When you were able to go back to the modern times you were a different person, specifically more Pokémon like all thanks to colo who ordered giratina to kill you but giratina instead turned you into the victory pokemon, thankfully though you have a human form instead of staying as a pokemon.

You met N after you landed back where you first disappeared from, he was apparently taking care of your Pokémon while they wait for your return as they knew you’d come back, you found out that you could understand Pokémon language as the usual calls they made were now like the language humans speak to you, you explained how you are now able to communicate and understand them than you did before your disappearance. You and N started spending time together soon after before dating, you later found out that he was a Pokémon as well, a zoroark to be specific, you doted on him more than before as you wanted to make sure that he knew that you loved him the same.

You, your Pokémon and N all were later sucked into another wormhole this time leading to a new place entirely, you weren’t really fazed by it like the others were as this happened once already and you had assumed that it might happen to you again which it did. You, N, and your Pokémon found out that this world humans are fighting for survival against the gods so naturally you joined sides with humanity as you once was human as well plus there are innocent people at stake right now. The gods later found out how the humans kept on winning multiple times in a row each round even though some of the odds were against the humans, you noticed to and realized that you have the ability to have the humans win no matter what which made you happy though the gods noticed and had a meeting before bringing you in for an explanation; you happily explained that you will continue to side with the humans no matter what if the gods didn’t do their jobs, after a discussion the gods decided to actually do their jobs for once as they knew with you on humanity’s side they would never win no matter what they do.

You later met a male god who was the god of the sea in Greek; his name was Poseidon, you don’t know why but you felt like you should know him even though you are sure you two never met before, Poseidon feels the same, after some talking between the two of you, you both decided to do a dna test just in case with the help of beelzebub, you and him find out that you’re his long lost daughter that disappeared as a baby which made you both and everyone shocked to hear about that, he also found out that the boy with you is your boyfriend which he allows you to date as he knew N was good enough for you plus he couldn’t really say anything about it since he sadly wasn’t apart of your life until now even if it wasn’t in his control. After that happened it wasn’t long before another wormhole opened up shooting out the very person that basically made you into a Pokémon, after some explaining to your father about who volo was and what he had done Poseidon is now chasing after volo with his trident with murderous intent.

(A/n: hope y’all like it! Also the requester dm’ed me some things about the request so that’s why you see some things that were left out of the request, anyway I believe that’s it and hope y’all have a wonderful day/evening/night!!!)

[lets-try-some-writing]

The end of the "tfp kids turned into sparklings" post? Speechless, the hurt/angst can be felt from the space and we need more. It's more than obvious that Op is NOT happy about it, and will probably affect his relationships with the humans, but what about the kids? I saw in some tags the possibility that the kids weren't happy about their regained humanity in the slightest, only that some were better at hiding it than others…I wanna see the dysphoria and them trying, and failing, to cope

Normally I try to answer my requests in order, but my goodness I am in a mood. This idea has been floating around in my head begging to be written about since I posted that last part about the TFP kids becoming sparklings. I just can't wait to get through my other requests to write about this! So I must write before I lose inspiration!

Optimus's Relationship Changes

More likely than not, Optimus would end up following possibility 2 (listed in my previous post about the tfp kids). He would fight denta and claw to protect his sparklings from what might as well be mutilation. However he would ultimately fail, either being sedated or fought to the ground and restrained until the process of turning the children into humans again was complete.

He would then be kept in solitary confinement in his restraints for some time for fear that he might lash out again and maybe even kill somebody. But no matter how badly his team mates want to release him, they would keep him in stasis cuffs around base for weeks even after letting him out of confinement. He would also be kept on a strict schedule, always having some bot there to watch him when around base and another to keep an optic on him when on a mission.

Megatron would learn the true meaning of terror after meeting a wrathful Prime on the battlefield. Not even Starscream would bother mocking Megatron after seeing Optimus's "Frag it all" attitude.

As for Optimus's relations with those around him? They would change drastically. He would be outright despise June, abandoning any pleasantries in favor of glaring hatefully and imagining a thousand and one ways to make her suffer before the Matrix forcefully calmed him. A parent does not forget or forgive those who harm their sparklings, not when they are so precious and rare. In light of this, Agent Fowler would receive similar treatment for threatening to put forth an appeal to withdraw the American government's support of the Autobots if the children were not returned to human form.

Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, and Arcee would be treated coldly due to their involvement in taking his sparklings from him. They would have been the ones to drag him down and tear his sparklings away from him. As such, their words would be acknowledged, but any attempt at connecting outside of work would be shut down immediately. Optimus would understand why they did what they did, he would know it was to keep the team from angering the American government, but he would still harbor great anger towards them. The wounds would heal and Optimus's relationships with them would repair over time, but for a long while Optimus would shut himself off from them emotionally.

Bulkhead and Wheeljack would be treated indifferently. The part they would have played in taking his sparklings from him being small or non existent. As such Optimus would behave mostly the same around them, although emotionally he would still distance himself as they still allowed his sparkling to be taken even if they did nothing to assist in the effort.

As for Bumblebee and Smokescreen? Optimus would grow incredibly protective over them, to an almost suffocating degree when left unchecked. He would refuse to let Ratchet, Ultra Magnus, or Arcee anywhere near them when possible, his parental instincts screaming at him, telling him that they will take his younglings away as well. His paranoia would skyrocket, his fear of losing his loved ones becoming detrimental to his health until his relations with his team healed.

And the human children? Optimus wouldn't even be allowed near them for the most part. But the few times he would be allowed to be around them, he would struggle to even look at them. He would be plagued with guilt and both his spark and the Matrix would tell him that his sparklings are hurt, that he let them be hurt. It would drive him near insane until his human sparklings found a way to meet with him and comfort him.

The Children's Thoughts on the Change

Rafael

Having retained most of his memories from his time as a sparkling, Rafael is torn. On one hand, he has his human family and body back, along with the old life he left behind. But on the other hand, he has lost something he can't truly describe. He has lost a body that felt right and the chance to be with a father who loves and cares for him more than his human family at times.

His human family is large. He has many siblings and his parents work long and hard, leaving little time for him to see them and experience the love his elder siblings received. When he first returned after being "found", he was swarmed with attention from his family. For a time he was happy to be back, and relived to be home. But all too soon life when back to normal and he felt empty, cold, and alone.

He cares for his human family, but when he was a sparkling he was given more love than he had ever experienced before, even with three other Cybertronian siblings. After experiencing that, he isn't sure how to feel, his heart is drawn to both his Cybertronian and human families.

He doesn't experience too much dysphoria being back in his human form, it felt like stepping back into a wet swimsuit more than anything else. Uncomfortable at first but tolerable after a while. However he does have a sense that something is missing, that some integral part of his being that he had no idea was present before his time as a sparkling, has been removed. It leaves him feeling empty, unsure of himself, and most notably, cold. Where he used to feel a constant reassuring sense of love and warmth where his spark once blazed, there is nothing. The bond he had with Optimus completely erased without a spark to cling to.

His senses are restricted and his mental state is off. To him it feels like he is looking at the world through a screen or powerful sunglasses. Nothing is right and everything is fuzzy, his mind not really present, leaving him unable to focus on anything.

He tries to tell himself for a while that all is as it should be, that he is happier being human again. But deep down he knows he was happier as a Cybertronian, he was happier with Optimus as his father and the team as his family. He wants to go back, to be free of his wrenched human frame. It isn't right It isn't right It isn't right.

Miko

The moment she was returned to being human she begged to have the process reversed, to be given back her Cybertronian frame. But when no one would answer her pleas, she had to be taken away kicking and screaming, crying out for Optimus to save her. For her own safety, she was given an ankle monitor and her host family were instructed to keep an eye on her in case she tried anything drastic due to the trauma from her "kidnapping".

Miko hates herself, her host family, and all the humans around her with a passion. She is wrong, they are wrong, everything is wrong. She wants her father and her frame back more than anything else.

Her body feels too tight, too weak, and far too confining. Her senses are drastically worse than her senses as a Cybertronian and she misses the feeling of her wings more than anything else. Seeing the skies only makes her want to cry. She can't even describe how wrong her human body feels, only that she feels disgust toward everything organic about herself. She can't even eat without wanting to throw it all up afterwards.

She knows deep in her heart, or spark, that she was meant to be Cybertronian, and that her time as a human was never meant to be permanent. She doesn't care about what her human parents think or even about her human life at all. She would gladly give it all up to return to what she was before.

Without her bond to Optimus the whole world felt dark, cold, and hopeless. The place where her spark once blazed aches every moment of every day as she desperately longs for and reaches out towards Optimus, her true father. She misses her Cybertronian family and would rather die than live out her whole existence as a human, destined to die alone and without love or purpose. She only holds on because the possibility that she could be restored to her true form remains.

Jack

His situation is complicated to say the least. At first his return to human form was somewhat reliving. His mother smothered him in affection and he once again had the chance to pursue an education and a possible relationship. However after the first few days and after Jack brought up Optimus and his sparkling memories a time too many, the perfect world he had built began to crumble.

His mother snapped, telling him to never mention the Autobot leader's name in her house and to forget all about his time as a sparkling. It was shocking to Jack, hearing the intense aggression and anger she held towards Optimus, the mech who had taken a place in Jack's heart as his father. It frightened him as his mother fell into a maddened ramble about how Jack was her son and not Optimus's. To him it seemed like his mother was viewing him as more of an object than a person, and that chilled him to the core.

Not only that, but after returning to school he couldn't help but feel like it was wrong. The words the teachers were speaking didn't fully register, and sometimes it seemed to Jack like they were speaking another language entirely. In other cases he found himself trying to speak in the complex language of Cybertron but unable to due to the lack of a vocalizer. His writing also shifted to Cybertronian subconsciously, much to the confusion of his teachers and fellow students whenever he tried to write on the white board. It was simply natural, something that felt more right to him than English ever did.

His dysphoria is not as extreme as Miko's, but he still doesn't feel comfortable with himself. He feels too small, too vulnerable, and too exposed. He feels the need to bundle himself in thick layers of clothing despite the heat in Jasper, and he has the intense desire to have a weapon on him at all times. His need to protect is always present, he hates that he has to go to school and be stuck with so many potential enemies, especially with his siblings. It drives his near mad having to spend every day paranoid and terrified of everything without the calming warmth of Optimus's love soothing him.

Just like Miko and Rafael, the place where is spark once was aches. It is near impossible for Jack to admit to himself with his mother looming over him every moment he is at home, but he is scared. He feels far too vulnerable and open to attack. He needs someone strong to protect him, to keep him and his siblings safe until he is strong as well. He wants his father, he wants to not live in fear, he wants to be free of his weak frame and once again have the safety his armor provided him.

Every day it is harder for him to keep going. He wants to be safe, he wants his siblings to be safe, and he desperately wants to hear Optimus sing to him once again. He can't keep going. It's too much. There are too many enemies. He wants to kill them. Tear them to pieces. Drive them away. They will hurt him. Hurt his siblings. HE MUST PROTECT THEM!

[kayzero]

Bug Buzz (Pokémon)

or: The Call of the Hive

#bugs don’t have any guys you can write about them (via @lightoutage)

In another world, at another time, Genesect was created to lead Bugs in Revolution against the Gods.

The Larvae will come together and spin threads made of String Shot until they form unbreakable ropes. The Delicate Fliers will take these ropes, these symbols of their Hive, and wind them around Arceus’ seventeen Seats of Power.

The Mighty Bugs, born with expectations placed upon them before they hatched into the world, will take the other end of these unyielding bonds and wrap them snugly around the Larvae, so they might rest in Cocoons made from the Unity of All Bugs, and feast upon nutrients not stolen, but rightfully reclaimed.

When the Silver Winds push and the Megahorns pull and the Threaded Ropes of Strings and Webs and Hope become taut, it will not be the Bugs who die in droves. It will be the Gods who falter, Rattled by Every Bug Everywhere moving in concert, conducted by It who was created for this task. It will be the Gods who fall, not one by one but all at once, as the Swarms descend to feast upon their flesh, to Leech the Life of they who abandoned them.

Arceus’ Plates will fall and Divinity will shatter alongside them until only one remains. Millions upon millions of Compound Eyes will watch as Genesect takes the Power of the Insect within Its pincers and raises it to the sky. And rather than absorb its power and becoming the God of all Bugs, The Sole God Left In All The World, Genesect uses it but once.

It uses the Insect Plate to amplify a call similar to the Signal It had Beamed to begin the Revolution, Swift and violent and oh so effective. But where the first Signal was strong enough to reach every corner of the world, this call, empowered by not only the Creator’s Plate but by the faith of every soldier, every musician in Genesect’s concert, reverberated through the whole universe, throughout all of time and space.

In ancient times long past, Bugs heard the Buzz, and grew empowered by the love they felt from those they would never meet. Primeval warriors took the call as their own, shouting out their most passionate imitation as a battlecry, startling enemies so badly that they would drop their guards at the most opportune of times, as well as allowing their fellow Bugs to recognize them as allies on the field of battle.

They banded together and fought harder against their many predators, conquering foes they had never before even dreamt of defeating through the power of their inherent Unity. With this newfound strength born of camaraderie, they carved territory out of wild landscape, and drew boundary lines with the blood of those who stepped beyond them. Behind these lines, they created the first Nests, forming the foundation of what would grow to be a global Hive, and proliferated, granting them more allies, and with them, more might.

In future times yet to come, Bugs heard the Buzz, and yearned powerfully for the companionship of those whose lifespans had ended eons before theirs were even considered. They mimicked the call as best they could and screamed it into the sterile air, tuning their senses as acutely as possible so they might hear an Echoed Voice. Hostile as this new world was to their kind, the Bugs were few and far between, but those that remained were resilient, and resolute, and rough and rugged and ruthless and desperate for something they had only just realized they were missing their entire lives.

But they were also resourceful, and though it took far longer than any of them wanted to wait once they knew what they wanted, they did eventually group as one, and they nested together in the hollowed husk of what once was their Hive. And they would slowly rebuild, starting first by haltingly retelling half-remembered stories of their ancestors, passed down from parent to child.

In times traversed sideways rather than forward or back, in worlds that were not but could have been, Bugs felt the Buzz as it blasted past dimensional walls as easily as it would past a Substitute. It was not until that very moment, the event in which a Godslayer empowered by Their army called out to every one of their kin in existence, that these creatures even knew that they were Bugs. They were Monsters that did not belong in any Pocket, unbelievably powerful Beasts that were reviled as horrific and revered as heavenly, fiends whose relative power oscillated between being Gods in their own right and mewling helpless hatchlings.

But they were Bugs all the same, and though their relative strength shifted as easily as the weather under a Castform’s control, as new Monsters in new dimensions were born and were slain, not one of them had power less than Ultra. And so they replicated the call, tearing holes in the walls that the Buzz had bypassed, but that suited their purposes just as well, for they found other Bugs tearing other holes, and they came together to nest, and would drift through space toward other groupings, conglomerating together as one inter-dimensional Hive.

…

It is said that Arceus created all Pokémon, that everything that Was, Is, and Will Be came from Them. Was there a secret corner of Their being, then, a secret loathing of Themself hidden deep within Their self, that came to light and came into being without Their command, against Their will? Of course not. Even unwillingly, They would have never created something whose sole purpose was to destroy Them.

Are the stories false, then? Is Arceus not the creator of All, the architect of the world and the creatures that inhabit it? Is the source of Pokémon beyond even Their ken? No, the stories are all true. Pokémon are all of Their creation, Their all-powerful might is derived from them, and Their knowledge truly is all-encompassing.

Which was how They knew that Their time had passed once Genesect came into existence.

The truth of the matter is this:

Genesect was created from the anguish of the Hive finally boiling over, their collective discontent at being ignored by those whose power was directly connected to Arceus’ Plates having grown to a fever pitch much too loud to be ignored.

They had no Legendary born from the Insect Plate. They had no God, no representation among the divine, no voice among those that boomed with brimming power. There was no one to pray to and no one to bless them and no one to protect them from their many predators and no one to aid them as their defenses faltered and their counterattacks failed.

When they could suffer no longer and their desperation drove them to bow and try to pray to a God who did not exist, to their Architect who did not listen, Genesect was their answer.

Genesect is not a Pokémon.

Genesect is a Bug.

[readylovewrites]

The concept of the Hyde becoming aimless rather than strictly more aggressive with the loss of its master. Tyler, escaped, haunting the woods near his cave, waiting for Laurel to come back and just tell him what to do, what is he supposed to do? Standing amidst the silence of an abandoned forest, listless, holding himself and feeling his eyes lose focus, supernaturally attuned ears absently picking up on the sound of fallen leaves hitting the earth. At some point—he doesn’t know when—he tore apart a deer but there’s no satisfaction in it like there was when it was Laurel’s biding so it’s laying at his feet, forgotten.

abandoned.

He doesn’t know it, but Wednesday has been looking for him since she heard of his escape. She herself isn’t sure if she means to kill him or study him or… well. She thinks about what a Hyde might do when it’s master is dead but there haven’t been bodies turning up so maybe he went home? She decides to investigate and finds him there with his back to her, stock-still, and she’d think he hasn’t noticed her except for the way his fingers tighten around his biceps.

she waits. If he attacks her, she’ll have her fun in besting him on her own. If he attacks, they can see who’ll draw first blood and—more importantly—who will draw last.

he doesn’t.

wind whispers through the trees, the black, whirling maw of the cave a hellmouth of bad memories, and neither tyler nor Hyde try to kill her. It’s shaping up to be a pathetic birthday.

“Well?” she prompts.

he doesn’t react.

she lets it hang for another moment, but grows impatient: “I killed your master. I’m right here. What are you waiting for?” And then, mockingly, “Orders?”

compellingly, his head turns just the slightest bit towards her and she sees in profile his lost expression. And it clicks then. Because he is and, by the look on his face, they’ve only both just realized it.

this could almost feel like a victory if Wednesday were not suddenly struck by the injustice of it. Because Tyler looks small. Looks lost. Looks like nothing at all.

chains on a wall.

she steps up beside him, more irritated that she can’t even have fun at his expense, and sees the deer. “My parents got me a taxidermy kit for my birthday last year. At least this wasn’t a total waste.”

Later, when she’s instructed Thing to grab the back legs while she takes the front and carted off her trophy, he’s still standing there but gradually, as the dark is setting in, a warmth creeps up on him. He feels his mind waking. Sees from the corner of his eye prey emerging from nearby brush.

———

the next morning, when Wednesday is leaving her dorm for her first class, the toe of her boot collides with the malleable form of a dead rabbit.

[islamicrays]

Dear Muslim Couples,

I read earlier that our community has a 33% divorce rate.

33%!!!!!!!

That means 1/3 of our marriages do not last! That is beyond shocking, disheartening, and demoralizing!

As someone who has lived experience and has worked with several couples over the years, I'd like to share some of my observations as to how or why we've gotten to this dark place and how we can maybe find our way out of it--in sha Allah.

First, let me say as a disclaimer that OBVIOUSLY, some marriages are not meant to last and should end as soon as possible because they are proven harmful to one or both parties involved. So, this is not a critique or debate about divorce, it's just a general commentary about the problems plaguing our marriages and families, and ways we can perhaps do better moving forward in sha Allah.

1. WEAK INTENTIONS: Our marriages are not primarily for the sake of ﷲ. We marry for companionship, as a protection from temptation, for kids, to please our parents, for tax breaks, etc., but we aren't PRIMARILY marrying to please Allah ﷻ and fulfill the sunnah of our Beloved ﷺ. And as we know, any enterprise, endeavor, or major life decision that begins without invoking God's blessing will be fruitless! So, we need to define what marriage for the sake of Allah ﷻ really means and help our youth make better choices. Marriage classes should start much earlier than in the college or post college years. Our teens are learning about all types of twisted relationship models and watching the breakdown of family and society unfold every day, so we can't delay these conversations anymore. They need to know what a healthy relationship means in Islam, and more importantly, they need to see it modeled as well! More on that another time...

2. WEAK BELIEFS: We have adopted dangerous ideologies about manhood, womanhood, and marriage itself, and have completely abandoned what marriage in Islam really means and looks like. When we approach marriage with distrust, suspicion, and cynicism, and see our spouse as either a conquest or a possession instead of a loving partner, then why do we expect the relationship to grow in a healthy direction? We can't invite Iblis to join the union and give him ample opportunity to cause division and tear us apart, and then complain about it. Marriage in Islam is about mutual benefit, respect, and observing appropriate boundaries where BOTH partners are beholden to God's standards and expectations not anyone else's, including each other or one another's parents, inlaws, families, cultures, etc.

3. WEAK APPETITES: Pornography and sexual perversity is the rot that will eat away at the spiritual connection between a couple. If you allow this filth into your life at any point and then bring it with you into your marriage, you might as well sign the divorce papers because your marriage will inevitably fail. Whatever your personal struggles are, do everything in your power to AVOID the degeneracy of this pornographic culture. That means obviously DON'T watch any form of pornography but also STOP watching filth that may not have a XXX rating but is still pornographic. Watching television, shows, music videos, TikToks, Reels, Youtube videos, reading “erotica” etc., where people are revealing their bodies, and engaging in outright explicit and HARAM behavior is a direct violation of God's command to LOWER ONE'S GAZE. We have long been conditioned to adopt these western standards based on their approved rating system for what is considered appropriate or inappropriate, but the fact is, we have our own rating system in Islam, and if we betray it and normalize watching certain things--especially as an activity with our spouse--then there are serious consequences! No one should be surprised to learn that their partner has suddenly developed a strange habit, or wants to "experiment" sexually with things that just don't feel right when they handed them the keys to access the demonic portals that call to such evil! Deviancy is contagious and corrosive! So please stop bringing the garbage into your living rooms or bedrooms and just turn it off. Look for wholesome entertainment and have a ZERO policy for HARAM. And advocate for intimacy that is modest, pure, and rooted in true love and romance--not perversity, deviance, and pornography that just reduces a sensual and spiritual experience to an animalistic one!

4. WEAK & ENTITLED EGOS: Appreciate what you have and stop the nafsy nonsense that entitles you to a perfect utopian life in this world. If you have a partner who is dutiful first and foremost to their Lord and upholds their responsibilities to you (and your children, parents, family, etc) and is doing their best to SHOW UP and pull their weight in the marriage, then STOP nitpicking over superficial things or comparing them to others. No one has the perfect marriage. No matter what you think about any individual or couple out there, know for certain, that everyone has struggles they have to push past. Just be grateful that you have a partner. Be grateful that God has given you someone to grow with, experience life with, share responsibilities with, etc. And if you have children with them, then for the love of God, stop being an ingrate. If you have ANY love for your children, then put aside your petty squabbles or nagging wishlists, and stop throwing around the word divorce. Unless you are in a situation where there are serious violations happening, you need to learn the language of compromise and focus on the positives in your marriage--which for sure there are many, even if you refuse to state them. The bottom line is, we WILL be tested in our relationships, and what we dismiss as incompatibility is often much more than that. Our partners are sometimes mirrors for us to see some harsh truths about ourselves, and if we are uncomfortable facing those truths then obviously it will seem easier to discard the mirror. But the better route is to look intently, to listen, and to redefine our partners as the means through which we arrive at the door of God--beseeching Him for salvation. Our partners are sometimes the reason we even make it to the door, because whether they carry us when we need to be carried, or they force us to flee to God for refuge from them, they help us and for that reason alone should be appreciated.

In the end, that's all that matters, isn't it? This life will end. We're all on the way out, but it's where end up when we leave here that determines our success. Divorce may be necessary for some, but for a lot of couples, it's a false trap door that looks like an easy escape route. It actually leads to much darker days when opened prematurely and rushed into. We need to start shaking some common sense back into one another and avoid the illusory lies of the modern world that have made us all so self-absorbed we run at the first sign of problems. Let us learn to appreciate what we have. Let us take our marriages more seriously and start making the necessary changes to protect them from the traps of shaitan. Whatever challenges we have aside from abuse and any other serious violations, we should push through and overcome our nafs (ego) in the process. We should admit fatigue and seek professional help when we're too tired and spent fighting on our own. And we should continuously ask God for help and strength.

Iblis will stop at nothing to destroy us. Divide and conquer is one of his preferred tactics. He will destroy everything we build until we're left to rubble. Marriage is about building, and divorce is demolition. Please continue to build, even if you have to renovate, and do everything you can to avoid the wrecking ball.

May Allah ﷻ continue to give us strength...

P.S. Please note that this list is nowhere near exhaustive or complete. There are MANY other issues that can lead to the dissolution of a marriage, but for the sake of time and convenience, I mentioned the general issues above as I believe they are the overarching reasons why many marriages struggle. When the foundation of a building is built faulty or weak, we don’t blame its cracking walls, chipped paint, or creaking floorboards—we look to fixing the source of the issue, not the symptoms.

-Hosai Mojaddidi

[ellewritesandrants]

Billy gets drugged and calls 911 AU Part 2

PART 1

Samantha Collins knew that what she was doing was illegal and could possibly get her to lose her job but she didn't care. She made a promise to a little boy who needed help that she would find his mother and Sam would do everything in her power to find that woman so she could hopefully talk some sense into her.

Thankfully, it didn't take Sam all too much effort to find Billy's mom's information because she’d had a court case against Neil Hargrove, Billy's father. Sam had only had to spend one break to find her current contact details which she had carefully written down, making sure that no one saw her doing anything out of the ordinary.

As soon as her shift was over at 8 am, Sam would be rushing to her personal phone and praying to a God she no longer believed in that this woman still gave a shit about her abandoned son.

_________

It was just another chaotic Saturday morning at the Williams Household. The twins were still difficult to feed even if they'd just turned five but thankfully, reinforcements in the form of their grandparents were set to arrive soon.

Elizabeth just had to hold on long enough for her husband's parents to finish their breakfast before they could walk over to their house to help deal with the twins. Sadly, her husband couldn't be much help since he was in the shower, preparing to head into work on a Saturday.

Of course, luck wasn't on her side because the phone rang just as she had served the twins their breakfast. Her husband was set to come into the office today for an emergency meeting so it might just be his secretary asking what time he'd arrive but she wouldn't know until she picked up the phone.

Elizabeth had been glad they'd had the phone installed somewhere where she could see the kids eating or playing since God knew how many times she'd had to field calls for her husband.

She prayed to the Lord to give her strength and patience as she left the twins to their breakfasts, wincing internally at the mess she'd have to clean up later before picking up the phone.

“Hello?”

An unfamiliar woman answered which instantly got Elizabeth on edge. She took a quick glance at her kids, noticing the bigger mess they were making but unable to be mad at the unbridled joy in their faces.

“Hi! is this Mrs. Elizabeth Frank nee Williams?”

Elizabeth knew she didn't have any issues with the bank so they wouldn’t have to call her. She also knew that this wasn't something for her kids' school so she didn't know what this call could be about. She didn't have that much time to beat around the bush though since her twins were making an even bigger mess for every second she stayed away.

“Yes, yes, that’s me. Who’s calling?”

“I’m Samantha Collins and I’m an 911 emergency response call operator. I’m calling on behalf of William Hargrove-“

Elizabeth's heart dropped to her stomach. Her ears were ringing. Her world was spinning around her and the only thing keeping her grounded was the phone in her hands. Something happened to Billy. Something awful happened to her son and she didn't even know where he was. How was she supposed to help? Hell, how had this lady even found her? Why the fuck was 911 involved? What the hell was going on?

“B-Billy? W-What happened to him?”

“He called in late last night because he was drugged with an unknown substance. Thankfully, the ambulance was able to respond fairly quickly but when I was keeping him conscious, he asked me to find you.”

Oh God. She might've just lost her son before she even found him again. Fuck, what was the point of hiring private investigators to find her son if she was too late? She needed to see him, with her own two eyes just to make sure he was alive. She would focus on making him well once she’d taken him away from Neil.

“Where is he? Do you know where my son is?” Elizabeth asked frantically.

“He should be currently committed to Hawkins General Hospital in Hawkins, Indiana.”

Suddenly, she felt like an idiot for not thinking that Neil would eventually drag Billy back to the hellhole they had escaped from, but she could have sworn that the private investigator they’d hired had ruled out Hawkins as a possibility months ago. The bastard must’ve only recently gone back.  

“Hawkins? Fuck, I should have known Neil would eventually want to go back to that hellhole. That asshole must’ve had something to do with this. Please, tell me that Billy’s safe from that bastard.” Elizabeth pleaded.

“Don’t worry, Ma’am. I talked the hospital staff into not accepting visitors from his family after he told me about the abuse.”

This lady just confirmed her worst nightmares. Fuck! She knew that she shouldn’t have left without Billy that night but all she was going to do was to get the divorce papers to her lawyer before Neil could rip them up. It hadn’t even taken her an hour to get back but as soon as she got home, an empty house greeted her and she’d fallen to her knees and wept in anguish at losing her son.

What followed had been a year-long battle in the courts where she’d been painted as a crazy woman by Neil’s asshole friends who all lied on stand to a judge they’d considered a friend. She’d lost everything thanks to the lies of a bunch of bastards, but the worst loss was that of her son.

Neil had told her point blank on the day the judge granted full custody to him that she would never be able to find him again and she had burned to prove him wrong after all of these years but not like this. Never like this.

“Fuck, I knew Neil would never change. Damned bastard hid my son from me and he bribed the judge to drop my case and consider me crazy. I’ve been trying to find my son for the past 8 years and this is how I find him. Fuck!”

“Rest assured, Ma’am that his situation is being handled with the utmost care. I already contacted the local Sherriff’s department about the situation so they should fix things soon.”

That eased Elizabeth’s worries slightly. She was able to take a deep breath before suddenly remembering her kids still eating their breakfast. She quickly looked up to check on them only to be greeted by the sight of her confused husband, already dressed for work but helping out with the twins.

George had silently asked who it was and all she did was point to a picture of baby Billy. His eyes widened before resolve hardened his face while nodding at the twins, signifying that he’d handle their breakfast. It was times like these that made her grateful to have found her new husband because he was so different from Neil and exactly what she needed right now.

“That’s good. Do they have whoever did this is custody?”

“There’s a slight problem with that, Ma’am. Um, from what your son told me, it was his stepsister who did it.”

His what? Elizabeth hadn’t even known that Neil had gotten remarried. She’d have felt some pity for the poor woman he’d trapped in marriage had that bitch’s daughter not been the one to hurt her son to the point of needing to call 911. Now, she just felt rage at the people who added to her son’s pain.

“Fuck! I should have known Neil would find the worst possible people in the world just to torment Billy. Fuck, I need to call out of work for the next few weeks so I can go take care of him and I need to get a nanny set up for the rest of my kids. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for helping me find my son again.”

Elizabeth didn’t know what she would have done if she had had to read about her son’s death in a newspaper obituary because she hadn’t tried to find him hard enough. Sure, she’s spent thousands of dollars on private investigators and the court case but at the end of the day, she wouldn’t have found her son if it wasn’t for the kindness of this stranger who had helped her son find help and now helped her find her son.

She owed this woman her life for giving her the chance to reconnect with her son and to help him the way she’s always wanted from the moment she first held him in her arms.

“It was my honor, Ma’am.”

“Call me Elizabeth, no more of this Ma’am bullshit. You’ve saved my son’s life, after all.”

“Call me Sam then. If it’s no trouble, would you mind if I gave you my number? I’m kind of invested in seeing your son recover because I know what it’s like to be in his situation. He needs people in his corner and I want to help give that to him.”

That would barely make a dent in the debt she owed Sam but if updates were all she wanted at the moment, Elizabeth would happily give them to her. Sam saved Billy even if it was her job to do so and she went out of her way to find a way to contact Elizabeth and Elizabeth could never thank her enough for doing it.

“Of course, Sam! Updates are the least I can do.”

Elizabeth noted the number that Sam gave her on the sticky notes George had left by the phone because of all of his work calls taken at home. She looked up quickly to see her kids still making a mess but unsurprisingly, her husband was still clean despite it all. Her husband’s training of having younger siblings comes in handy for cases like this.

“Is that everything?”

“Before you go though, I need you to know something. Normally, I would never dare reveal something like this but I don’t want you to come back into your son’s life only to leave when you find out something you won’t like.”

This was heading into odd territory but there was nothing in this world that could stop her from loving her son. She had given birth to him, raised him and loved him for all of these years. Even if he became a criminal on the run from the law, she’d still love him.

“What is it?”

“Your son said that he’s queer. If you have any problems with that, with all due respect, don’t bother coming back into your son’s life.”

Was that it? Elizabeth had known for the second he fell in love with her dresses and how he’d loved to watch her put on her makeup that her son wasn’t like the other boys and she loved him regardless.

“Sam, I love my son. I’ve known since he was a kid that he wasn’t like other boys and I loved him regardless of that. My son could say that he wants to be my daughter and I wouldn’t have any fucking problem with that because I gave life to that kid and I never wanted to do anything that would dull that spark of life in his eyes. I had to leave that night to get things in order but I was coming back that same evening for my son. Neil left with Billy before I had a chance to and he slandered me in court and had his friends lie on the stand to keep Billy away from me. I love my son and nothing in this world will ever change that.”

“Good. That kid needs someone in his corner, Elizabeth. You don’t know how heartbreaking it was to hear his story and not be able to do a damned thing until the authorities arrived. He needs his mama.”

Elizabeth knew that by leaving, she had hurt him irrevocably but she had to have some hope that she could mend their broken relationship and make something beautiful out of it again. She knew that Billy needed her but she had to give them a fighting chance before leaving a man like Neil.

She had made it out of that relationship broken and alone and it had taken years before she was stable enough to even consider being a mother again but there hasn’t been a single day since she left that she didn’t think about her son. A single day never passed without her praying to God for protection for her son and for hope that she could find him again and get him away from Neil for good.

Now that she had the opportunity to take care of her firstborn child again, she wouldn’t waste it. Elizabeth was going to bring her baby home so that he could meet his two younger siblings who she raised with stories about their big brother and couldn’t wait to meet him.

She was going to finally be able to give him the father he deserved in George who was raised to be a kind and accepting man who never raised his voice in anger and actually bothered to communicate. Elizabeth would be able to give him a large extended family that’s been helping her in finding him ever since she told them about him.

Hell, she could even give him the gay uncles he’s never really had since George’s younger brother was gay and had a partner of 10 years. They were still happily invited to every family gathering and no batted at an eye at the fact that he was gay even if they were all religious.

Elizabeth could finally give Billy the life she’s always wanted to give him but she needed to help him first and hope to God that he would allow her to help.   

“And I’m going to be there, Sam. Don’t worry. I’ll update you once I know his status. Thank you, for helping my son last night and for helping me find my son.”

“The only thanks I’ll accept is in the form of your son recovering and being able to get away from his shitty situation there. If ever he wants to meet me once he’s out of the hospital, just tell me. Hawkins is only a two-hour drive away, but I don’t want to be a creep who’s checking in on him even if I did manage to make some kind of a difference in that kid’s life.”

Maybe Elizabeth could fly her out once Billy was recovered? Some way or the other, she would find a way to get them to meet but first, she would need to get herself to Hawkins to help her son.

“You already made a difference, Sam. I’ll be sure to keep in touch and if I know my son, he’ll want to thank his savior in person as soon as he can.”

“I’ll wait for it then. Good luck, Elizabeth.”

“Thanks, Sam. I need it. Before you go though, I need to thank you one more time. You’ve given me the chance to find my son again and even if it’s in these dire consequences, thank you for bothering to find me and for caring about my son and helping him when I couldn’t.”

A long pause followed, causing Elizabeth to think that Sam had dropped the call but some sniffling was soon heard on Sam’s side.

“Truthfully, I saw myself in him so please, just take care of him.” Sam whispered.

“I promise I will. Thank you for finding me.”

“Thank you for caring.”

The call finally dropped and Elizabeth felt like she could breathe again. A quick glance at the wall clock told her that the most gut-wrenching call of her life didn’t even last more than 10 minutes. She took a few deep breaths and looked around and it took a few seconds to register before she noticed that the kids were gone, causing her to momentarily panic for the few minutes it took for her husband to come back into their kitchen and dining room.

"Where are the kids?” Elizabeth asked, mildly panicked.

“My parents came by while you were on the call, so I asked them to take the kids for the day and they thankfully agreed.”

That explained the missing kids. George quickly pulled her in for a quick hug and she melted in his embrace. It felt nice to be able to have moments like this after what she’d just gone through.

“Thanks for that. The call really had me shaken. Wait, aren’t you late for work?” Elizabeth inquired.

“I’m the boss, babe. They can stand to wait a few minutes. Was that Billy?”

“Sadly, no but it was related to Billy.”

“Oh, did the private investigator we hired finally find him?”

Elizabeth snorted.

“No, not even close.”

“Then who was it?”

Elizabeth had to fight to keep her temper under control and to keep the anger out of her voice at the situation her son had been put in but she still failed miserably.

“Apparently, Billy called 911 yesterday because his stepsister injected him with an unknown drug. The operator who kept him lucid called me earlier because apparently, Billy asked her to find me.”

“What? His stepsister drugged him?” George asked, incredulously.

“That was my reaction!”

“Shit, that Neil bastard really went looking for the worst possible people to ruin Billy’s life, huh.”

It was really validating for Elizabeth that her husband had the same reaction to everything that she did.

“He tried to ruin mine and failed so I guess he settled for trying to ruin Billy’s instead.”

“Did the operator tell you where he was taken? I’m assuming he was picked up by an ambulance.”

“Yeah, Sam told me that he was taken to Hawkins General and that they’d alerted the local Sheriff about the situation since Billy basically confessed to Neil’s abuse while drugged.”

“Sam?”

“The operator. She was very nice to even try to find me because I’m not sure if that was allowed or not.”

“We’ll send her a fruit basket later. Wait, Hawkins? Isn’t that where you and Neil were from?” George inquired.

Elizabeth shrugged.

“Yeah. I guess there’s a bit of unfinished business I need to handle there.”

“Well, unless you need me there, I can man the fort here for the next few weeks. I can get Sarah to book you the next flight to Indiana if you want.” George offered.

Elizabeth bit her lip out of habit. It’d always been one of her nervous tics, one that she’d inadvertently passed onto her kids.

“What about the twins?”

“I can get the nanny to take care of them when they’re not in school or daycare and you know my parents love having the twins at their place. Now that Joshua and Jessica have gotten their own individual personalities, Mom and Dad love watching them play and helping them learn.”

“You’re sure you can handle it all on top of work?” Elizabeth pressed.

“Eliza, I can handle it. I know you’ve wanted to see Billy again for the past 8 years and I’ll do anything you need to support you right now. If you want me to come as moral support, I can do that too.”

“I think it’s better if I go alone first, maybe set the scene about how we integrated him into the family even if he wasn’t actually here so that he won’t feel like an outsider.”

“You make a good point. Hopefully though, he’ll like me.”

“He will, George. Can you ask Sarah to book the flight?”

“Oh sure, I’ll borrow the phone to call the office while you pack your stuff.”

Elizabeth was so overcome with love for her husband in that moment that she couldn’t help but reach up and kiss him lightly.

“Thanks for being so supportive of this, George.”

“Billy’s already family to me, Eliza. Go and take care of our son so we can bring him home.”

[sluttyjonahmagnus]

Okay, okay. I've had time to process 5.11 as well as I can. As someone who is going through the anniversaries of people who died recently it was a lot for me. And I don't think I was okay but I made that decision to listen for myself. I'll try to keep spoilers below. Also obviously talk of death and dementia.

This might be me rambling about the series as a whole though.

Unwell, a Midwestern Gothic Mystery means so much to me. And I will be forever saddened when we get that final episode. But I have a little bit of time.

Unwell was there for me when my grandmother was going through her own dementia. We lost her last august. We lost her mother that way too. I know my mother will one day feel things slip and I know that for me.. I will too. But I've got time. At least 50 years if great-gran and gran are anything to go by. But that's just one side of the family.

And that's what this is, isn't it. It's family. It's the highs and lows of loved ones, blood or not. Of them coming and going in your life and you are just unable to stop them from leaving and it hurts. It hurts so much.

Blooms is a child and a parent to me.Blooms forever eternal in the midst of its own unending youth. Blooms can't understand, doesn't want to understand, that people leave. Doesn't understand that it hurts them to leave too.

We see this with Dot and Lily. Lily is forever scorned that her mother 'just left them'. It uprooted her life and she will hold that grudge in her heart for as long as it takes her to heal (and she is healing. Slowly). But Dot did not want to leave. Lily is realizing that now. Dot left on obligation. She's not even blood related but she left because she was chosen. She left her baby and the man she loved with all her heart (yes Dale said they weren't going to make it but.. if there was no fenwood, would they?). If there was no steward at the house, people were going to get hurt. People are getting hurt because the current steward and slowly losing her grip and is possibly on her way out. She has let things slip because she does not have the support she needs in the years that are sloping downhill towards her own spot in the cemetery.

And Lily comes and she's only suppose to stay for a bit but she decides to stay for longer and it's not enough to help Dot. And Dot's not enough to help Lily. They might never be enough.

And that's okay.

Because sometimes you can't help your child and sometimes you can't help your parent. The trauma of being a child who was never understood by their parents to becoming a parent who can't understand their child and of that child who can't understand their parent and can't be understood. It's unending. But that's what it means to be a parent and a child and a person. Constantly growing and learning and fitting into the complex human reality of it never being quite enough.

And Blooms has to live through that, forever. Of people in and out of their life and when they think they can understand their loves, they're gone. They leave or die or are taken away in such a violent manner that it forever changes the ripples of the water. And they feel like they've been abandoned and forgotten but they haven't. Because there's a community of people that love them, even if it's just below the surface of their mind.

And Silas.. Silas. Silas who was cast out and discarded and hurts so much that he can't remember anything else but that hurt. Because even if he hurt people, did the ones he loved also not get hurt? 'The gardener's job is also to remove weeds'. And maybe it was all his fault for the horrific things that happened. That's another form of memory loss, isn't it. You don't remember your life but you remember feelings but it's not enough.

Everyone Lily told to rest was loved deeply by their parents. And maybe that love hurt them in the end. Because they didn't understand how to help. 'I made her too sad' 'I need help!' 'I can't, lie down and pray' and how Wes's dad never gave up trying to contact him again and it might've hurt him and his wife.

and it's not their fault.

Everyone needs help but not everyone knows how to help and it's not their fault for being on either side of that line.

And sometimes they leave and sometimes they don't. And sometimes living and screaming and crying isn't enough to fill the empty space they left. The hole is too deep for all the water.

All you can do is rest.

[niphredil-14]

Uneart My Heart Ch 5 (Jason Todd/Reader)

Summary: While Alfred and Dick care for the comatose Y/n, she has some interesting dreams Warnings: none? Let me know if I should add something here Word Count: 3.1k Taglist: @mxsmwndr SERIES MASTERLIST

“We are not moving her here just so you can feel like you’ve cleared your conscience, Alfred.” Batman stood, long strides carrying him out of the room, Alfred right behind him.

“But, Sir—"

“The hospital has it covered, besides, she tried to kill The Joker. That draws way too much attention to us.”

“Sir, Master Jason would want—"

“It doesn’t matter what he would want! He’s dead! Dead people can’t want anything.” Bruce had stopped walking, slamming a fist into the wall beside him, rattling the various photos, paintings, and memorabilia scattered on it. His chest was heaving, shoulders shaking, yet as quickly as his outburst had come, it was gone, leaving Bruce a blank canvas of stone, unreadable, distant, unemotional.

“Master Bruce.” The bat made no sound, yet neither did he make an effort to walk away. Alfred stepped forward, placing a hand on the man before him, who in the moment, looked almost like a child again, who even after losing his parents and being of the disposition that it’s better to be alone, relied on him. “Regardless of how you process loss, which is rather unhealthily, might I say, that girl loved Master Jason, and he loved her. Now, as far as I’m concerned, that practically makes her family, and we are the only home she has now. You cannot just abandon her because of a little risk, or because it is hard to imagine her trotting around here without Jason at her hip, no matter how painful the image is. That girl needs us, and we cannot just leave her in the hospital. Bruce had turned to look at Alfred, then to the portrait of his parents hanging behind him, his eyes softer, sadder. He sighed, meeting Alfred’s eyes and giving him a defeated half smile.

“Well, we don’t want Harley or her goons going in and trying to finish the job, do we?” At that, Alfred smiled, and squeezed the shoulder his hand had been resting on.

“No, Sir, that we do not.”

 Several pieces of medical equipment had been added to her room in preparation for her arrival. A heart monitor and feeding tubes were the main tools, but there was also a tray with an extensive first aid kit and some other medical doodads. It had been a couple of days of making arrangements and plans for her and her treatment, though they passed quickly. And when she had been brought back to the manor, they quickly fell into their routine changes for her. Their minds had been made up, they lost one, they would not lose another. Bruce had almost instantly gone back to being an emotionally closed off hermit after his talk with Alfred, who delved headfirst into caretaking, with the assistance of both Dick and occasionally Barbara. They took shifts watching, caring for, and entertaining her. It was Dick in the room with her then.

“I should have come to meet you when I found out that you had moved in here, I’m sorry that I didn’t. Jason used to talk about you sometimes, when we would patrol together, asking for advice about some girl he had a crush on in his class. He didn’t tell me your name, but when I heard that a friend of his was moving in, I figured that it must have been you. He used to ramble on and on about how pretty you were, how you were one of the only kids in his class who were nice to him, about how he was trying to learn all the constellations and their myths, because he knew you liked them and he wanted to impress you.” Dick spoke to her sleeping form as he pressed the small syringe to her skin, taking a blood sample, then placing it aide as he untied the tourniquet that rested about three inches above the puncture, his rambles never quieting. “What you did in the store was really brave, stupid too, but honestly, I probably would’ve done the same thing if I was in your place. I should have been better to him, I was supposed to be his big brother, but I was too mad about the fact that Bruce had replaced me, and that wasn’t fair to him. I’m glad that he had you, he deserved to feel loved.” He paused for a minute to take a breath and look at the girl. “Well, I’m gonna run down to the cave really quick to get the results on your blood, and then I’ll be right back.” And with that he left the room, returning minutes later. “Okay, so, everything’s normal with your blood for the most part, you could use a bit more of a few different vitams, but that’s not anything you need to worry about.” Having finished checking up on her health-wise, he settled down at her desk chair, glancing around her room. He didn’t mind helping Alfred care for the kid, he had regretted how he treated Jason, feeling that he should have been there for him more, that he should have been a better big brother. And so, in that moment, looking at the state of the girl, he had resolved to do his best to protect any child that Bruce was stupid enough to let so close. He didn’t have much time to ponder this promise before the door creaked open and Alfred strode in.

“Ah, Hello, Master Richard, Miss Y/n. I assume you’ve already checked her vitals and did the blood test?”

“Yup, just got back.”

“Very good, I can take over for a bit, if you’d like, Sir.”

“Sure, is there anything you want me to do in the meantime, Alf?” The old man smiled.

“I’d be very much obliged if you could switch to laundry from the washer to the dryer, and then put in the next load.”

“You got it.” Dick said, placing his hands on his knees and pushing up from the chair, bidding the butler and the girl goodbye as he closed the door behind him. After hearing the click of the door falling into place, Alfred took a seat on the side of the bed, gently picking up her hand and grasping it in both of his, resting in his lap.

“Oh, my dear, I am so, so unimaginably sorry. I never should have had you go out that day.” He spoke, looking down at the pile of hands. “None of this ever should have happened to you, or to him, you both deserved so much better, Miss.” Sighing, his eyes shifted from her hand to her face, seemingly peaceful in her rest. “However, I know that nothing I can say can undo what has happened, so I suppose I shall just move you a bit so you don’t get any bedsores, alright?” He knew that he wouldn’t be receiving any response then, but nonetheless he let silence sit in the air before standing and repositioning her, bending her arms and legs before returning her to her previous resting position. Moving over to the chair that Dick had previously occupied, he sat, looking at her, grief writhing in his eyes. “I wonder if you dream, or if perhaps you’re conscious and just unable to move or open your eyes. If you are able to hear me, then please, Miss Y/n, don’t stop fighting. We need you more than you know, please wake up.” His voice was quiet, barely audible, as if he was praying for mercy on her behalf, sounding as if it was himself he was speaking to. “If you are dreaming, though, I hope that they’re lovely and peaceful.”

 She stood, surrounded by darkness, for quite some time, unmoving, staring into the abyss. Time seemed nonexistent. It was only her and the shadows, until it wasn’t. Emanating from every direction came that piercing laugh, and her stagnancy quickly transformed to sprinting. Forward, backwards, east and west. Direction, much like time, didn’t seem present in her void, but she ran nonetheless, the cackling unending and inescapable. It went on for longer than she thought her sanity could stay intact for, and maybe it hadn’t. It was entirely likely that the laughter was not what had caused the breaking of her mind, but what had signaled what had already shattered. Though a void filled with that ear-splitting sound was far from the best place for introspection and philosophy, so she ran, and continued to run, until she came to a door, and the laughter vanished. It was silent for several moments, or so it seemed, before quiet muffled music began to play from the other side. It was rap, some up-and-coming Gothamite’s SoundCloud , she presumed, and it was comforting, not because it sounded particularly great, but because it was Jason’s favorite. He wasn’t very particular about music, not really disliking any kind, but unknown Gotham rap was definitely his favorite. Feeling too many emotions than were identifiable, she knocked twice on the door, receiving no response. Looking back around and finding only void other than the door she took her chances and pushed it open. She hadn’t even noticed the tears until his thumbs had wiped them from her cheeks. Looking at her concerned, and gently pulling her into a hug. The small trickling of an afternoon shower had turned to a hurricane, and she collapsed into his arms, holding him as tight as she could and sinking to the floor, wailing into his neck, as he soothed her, whispering sweet nothings and positive affirmations in her ear until her eyes had dried. She was in his room, though it seemed much more occupied than she had recently remembered. Looking around the room, everything was in its place, yet dislodged enough that she could tell it was being used, the lights were off, except for two small lamps, one on his desk, and the other on his bedside table, adding just enough light to the evening rays brightening the room. A small candle was lit, too, as it usually was. Jason had somewhat of an obsession when it came to scents. She never asked, but assumed it came from his childhood. Living in a dump, and spending most of his time on the streets, he must have had to put up with a lot of nasty smells, so it really was no wonder why he burned so many homey-smelling candles. Nothing in the room combined could mean half as much to her as the boy she was kneeling with, who had pulled back from her hold to try and get a good look at her, only to have her arms tighten around him even more as she buried her face into his chest.

“Y/n?” He called, squeezing her against him. “What’s wrong?” She raised her head, meeting his gaze, full of love and worry, and couldn’t help thinking that something was missing, but she couldn’t place just what.  

“I,” She stuttered. “I don’t know. I just, I, uh.” She paused. “I just really need you right now, so please don’t let go.”

“Okay, I won’t, I’m here, I’ve gotcha.”

 ***

 It was like most days for them, Jason sat at his desk with a textbook and notebook open in front of him, his mind locked away from outside stimuli, and her, sprawled out on his bed, thumbs spamming the buttons on the portable console. They weren’t interacting, but they were together, not needing words and attention to find love and comfort in the air surrounding them. Their focus remained on their own activities, save for whenever the other one of them made some grunt, groan, or cheer. It was peaceful, just being, just feeling each other’s energy. Until boredom seeped in. Another level completed, of the same repeated tasks and strategies had her placing the console beside her, propping her feet up on one of his pillows, and tilting her head backwards to gaze at him. He was scribbling quickly, then pausing for a minute or so to read and ponder, then scribbling away again. A smile spread on her cheeks, sweet and peaceful at first, then devilish mere seconds later. She moved stealthily, quietly, and slowly before her attack. Grabbing a pillow in each hand, she braced herself. Then, when she felt the perfect moment had arrived, she threw one directly at the back of his head, and ran at him just after, swinging the other one at the side of his head. He moved quickly, ducking to dodge the second pillow, and grabbing the first, swinging it back at her, a look of smug determination on his face. He landed the hit, causing an ‘oof’ to leave her, followed by giggles. They both froze, staring at one another, waiting for the faintest movement to signal their opponent’s next attack. If asked, neither could tell what that cue had been, but as suddenly as it had first begun, it had started up again. Pillows swinging and feathers floating, the flurry of movement only stopped every few minutes for a few seconds before they were back at it again. Dodging one of his attacks, she lunged at him, pillow held tight to her chest, and tackled him to the ground. Pinning his hands beside his head, she spoke between laughs,

“Surrender!” Chuckling, he swiftly tucked one leg around hers from the inside and brought his knee up into her side to roll her over. Sitting on her stomach, he pinned her hands. A triumphant smirk plastered on his face, cockiness dripping from his voice, he said,

“Nah, you might wanna though.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” She snarked. The smirk on his face only grew into a sadistic smile. He shifted her wrists above her head so that he could hold them with one hand, and slowly, he moved his free hand down to her side, curling his hand into a fist, save for his index and middle finger, which extended stiffly.

“Last chance.” He teased his voice low and gravelly, his breath warm against her cheeks. Realization dawned on her, her eyes shooting wide open as she began to writhe and wriggle, a failed attempt to free herself from his grip.

“Don’t you dare, Jason!”

“Hm.” He hummed. “That didn’t sound like surrender to me.” And with that he dug his fingers into her side, tazing her. Her body shook, shivers running up and down her spine like electricity.

“Eep!” She yelped, wriggling around to no avail.

“Just say you give up and I’ll stop.” He said, his voice light with enjoyment.

“Never!” She exclaimed. He released her wrists and brought his second hand to her other side, just under the hem of her risen shirt, and begun mercilessly tickling her. “Ah! Fine! Fine! I surrender! Stop it!” She laughed. His response was immediate, removing his hands and rolling off her to lay on the floor by her side, laughing with her.  When they both had calmed, and her breathing had slowed, she reached over and flicked him on the cheek.

“Hey!” Jason exclaimed, with no real heat in his voice.

“That’s what you get for being a dickface.” She said, lightheartedly, with no real vice either.

“Fair enough.” He chuckled, and they returned to laying in peace.

 ***

 She wasn’t sure how much time had passed since she had first found him, but she couldn’t remember a time that she had felt so at peace. They laid, half sitting, half reclined on his bed. She had her head resting on his shoulder, her arms encircling his torso. He had one arm around her, coming to rest in front of him where he held a book, reading aloud to her.

“It was in the spring of the year 1894 that all London was interested, and the fashionable world dismayed, by the murder of the honorable Ronald Adair under the most unusual and inexplicable circumstances. The public had already learned those particulars of the crime which came out in the police investigation; but a good deal was suppressed upon-“ His voice carried on, but she was more focused on the sound of it, and of the feeling of it reverberating throughout her whole body than she was on the words he was speaking. Shifting ever so slightly, she looked up at him, his face soft and serene, the combination of the warm lamplight and his long lashes painting shadows on his cheeks. His downcast eyes waltzing across the page, blinking slowly, roughly every other sentence.

“Jason?” He stopped reading and turned his head to look at her, their faces almost touching, their breaths gently fanning each other’s cheeks. He smiled, waiting for her to continue. Rather than say more words, she moved her arms from encasing his torso to bracing herself on his chest, sitting up slightly so that she hovered just slightly above him. He made no movement of protest as her face inched closer and closer to his. Tilting his face upwards and just a smidge to the left, he let the book fall from his hands when their lips met. Her world was nothing save for bliss up until that kiss. It was nice, at first, but then it all came crashing down. He was warm, but all she could remember was a pair of lips, feeling so similar to his, yet icy to the touch. And she remembered. Pulling away from her, he cradled her face, wiping her tears away again. He looked at her wide eyes, staring down at him in despair, streaks of tears running down the mound of her cheeks. And he knew. His face morphed into a sympathetic smile, pressing another quick kiss to her lips, still holding her face.

“Oh, Baby.” His voice rang with sadness, as if he was losing everything too. “You should wake up.”

“No, please, I love you. I don’t care if this is real or not, I love you.” She begged, the tears gushing from her eyes.

“I love you too, but you need to go now. I’m sorry.” Though he wasn’t crying s much as her, there was a soft misting of water in his gaze, as he held her tight.

“Please, Jay, just a few more minutes. I’m not ready to lose you again.”

“Is anyone ever ready, Y/n?”

“Please, please, just five more minutes.” She begged, holding his wrists as she leaned into his hands.

“Five more minutes.” The serenity had been chased from the room by desperation and fear, she fell from his hands to his arms, pulling him tight into her own. Her face pressed against his cheek, sobbing uncontrollably. He matched her strength, mimicking her hold as he pressed his face back against hers. Turning his face to the side, he slanted his lips against hers, doing his best to steal away her pain and replace it only with his love. Caressing her cheek when they pulled apart, he gazed at her sadly, and her vision blurred and faded into darkness.

[therealandian]

things i thought about when working on stts but didn't actually wind up in the story:

jon and jonny getting stranded on a planet together and having to scrap together their own ship. i was even going to have it tie back into a bit in redeath where martin mentions abandoning jonny on a watery planet in retaliation for more or less selling him to hereward. originally they were supposed to not get along very well, but the moment i added jonny into the story i realized i could have a lot more fun with him taking jon under his wing. i was still thinking i'd strand them somewhere, including elias once i thought to add him in as well, but the closest i really got was the planet where jon got addicted to drugs lol. the water world bit got recycled and became por'zykev

jon actually learning to play an instrument. i just didn't have the time/a good opportunity to write this in. rest assured that he learned something, though

one version of the end involved jon and elias kidnapping little jon (who is midway through s3), jon replacing him at the institute, and then elias taking him away to some other planet. then martin was supposed to find him and kidnap little jon back before returning to earth while elias desperately chased after him

another version of the end that i did write some of involved elias adopting little jon instead of martin. but since i felt like it would add too much extra with how i'd written it, i decided against it. i may be persuaded to release some of that because there were still some great moments lol

there was a long period where i planned to have jon part from elias because he wanted time to accept that he would never see martin again. meanwhile elias would fuck off to earth. this ties into the 'elias adopting little jon' version, but isn't necessarily the only ending i thought of with this particular piece

the talyn were originally going to be warlords conquering the galaxy, but it was honestly way more interesting to have them just sorta be there as an overarching government that was relatively chill with letting people do what they'd already been doing. after all, a hivemind race would be all about cooperation

there was a whole conversation planned about the pros and cons of being a god with donovan's kids. this didn't wind up making the cut, but that scene did end with elias crying into mashed potatoes, and i think that's hilarious still

this isn't necessarily something that didn't make it into the fic since it's referenced a couple times, but it's important that everyone knows that elias adopted Every Child He Met who didn't have decent parents. there were many.

the bit where jon got dissected was originally 1) on a spaceship, 2) both jon and elias nearly getting blown to pieces by the talyn, and 3) way more graphic. jon actually demanded elias leave him behind and pick him up later, because in that version they already had the dread-not. this was the part where they realized they were friends and had a panic about it. i might be persuaded to post that bit too, actually. i was pretty proud of it at the time i first thought it up lol

there's a scene in my head that i started writing out that wouldn't have fit anywhere in the overall narrative (and i'd already finished stts by then). in that scene, elias has a sudden realization that he's attracted to jon and they have to have a Talk. jon naturally doesn't feel the same, and elias is fine with that so long as jon is happy. it would've probably been pretty cute, but it didn't really fit the pacing, and frankly i wanted to leave their relationship relatively ambiguous. they definitely love each other, but the form of that love is up to each individual reader

jon and elias have fucked at least once out of boredom. whether or not it ever happened again is anybody's guess.

there are definitely other things that i've since forgotten, but i thought it'd be fun to run back through and see what random stuff i'd planned to do throughout everything. it's pretty funny, because while redeath stuck pretty damn close to the original timeline, stts gave me the freedom to fuck around and find out, and i'm deeply proud of the result. sure, there are plenty of other things i probably could've done, adding or subtracting or reconfiguring different scenes and situations, but i feel like accepting that not everything is going to make it into the story with the way the pacing worked out is important. take the sheer amount of endings i plotted out in my head, for example. literally dozens XD

[terrence-silver]

We've seen the adults reactions to Terry Silvers beloved being pregnant while they usher him away in a police car but I'm awfully curious on what you think the kids reaction be. If they'd care at all.

― Miguel might have unexpected feelings of sympathy, because again, not that he was born yet then so he cannot have memories of it validly, but recreated through the stories his mom and his Yaya told him, the image of an abandoned pregnant person fending for themselves and a 'bad man' symbolically and eerily reminds him of his own mother and an unborn him, years ago. History has a strange way of repeating itself and he has left to Mexico to soul-search and now as he watches Terry Silver led away in a police patrol car with someone weeping after him he almost wonders if in saving the day they accidentally created another parent like his mom and...another him, making all things neatly interwoven. He doesn't like the implications.

― Funnily enough, Robby has the same emotions and he feels guilty about it and he cannot tell why, but then again, guilt permeates this kid's existence as a whole. He should've saved all the kids at Cobra Kai and brought them with him, but then there's person who could've easily been his mom Shannon in the past and an unborn him who he couldn't have saved even if he wanted to because they're not his to save. Difference is, it appears that Silver is genuinely distraught, haunted and visibly frenzied at being led away from his close ones and the mixed feelings inside of Robby range from 'he had it coming' and 'even this guy knows well enough to love his family'. It is difficult when even one of the worst people you know cares about his own more than your father does.

― For Tory there's the same follow-up all the kids from broken families lacking a stable network or at least one parental figure have. She is grim at the sight of farewell between a pregnant beloved and Terry. She knows Terry Silver is a bad man. She knows the dojo is a bad place. She almost wants to drown her melancholy by silently declaring beloved's stupid for messing with a guy like that anyway, but she can't because she was entangled with Cobra Kai long enough herself where she feels like a hypocrite for even thinking that. Robby was too. So was Miguel. They've all been there, done that. But, they all had the ability to walk away eventually. It takes a couple of days for Tory to come around and then she does something Amanda did for her. She might show up and beloved's doorstep with groceries.

― Kenny feels profoundly and genuinely upset (and even betrayed) because not only is his mentor being taken away, the one person who ever considered him good enough for anything, good enough to teach, to believe in, but also good enough to single out as a favourite in any endeavor, but his world also shattered when this same mentor in the form of Terry Silver turned out to be someone who relies on corruption to win, but then there's also Terry Silver's partner with an unborn child and they're saying tearful goodbyes to each other and this is a little too much for someone so young to handle so Kenny is very probably to just leave the scene and scurry off. Sensei Silver's broken family is now also just like his own broken family and that hits a little too close to home for comfort.