#a waste of my time (the goth doctor~!)

[unboundwanderers]

2,000 YEAR OLD LOVERBOY.

USUALLY HE WEARS ALL BLACK BUT. I THINK @twiggenstein ACTUALLY IMPROVED HIS DESIGN WITH THE RED COAT.

[elliesmainhoe]

TLOU MASTERLIST

ELLIE WILLIAMS

TLOU2 / Older Ellie

HEADCANONS:

Feminine!Reader

Feminine!Reader Part2

Boxer!Ellie

Sugar Mommy!Ellie

Knight!Ellie X Princess!Reader

Knight!Ellie X Princess!Reader Part2

Period comfort

Streamer!Ellie

Bodyguard!Ellie X Singer!Reader

Housewife!Ellie

Housewife!Reader

Dealer!Ellie X GoodGirl!Reader

Tattooist!Ellie

Tattooist!Ellie Part2

Hockey!Ellie X Cheerleader!reader

Stubborn!Reader

Delinquent!Ellie

SingleMom!Reader

Vampire!Ellie

Vampire!Ellie Part2

Ballerina!Reader

Pregnant!reader

Singer!Reader

Hip-Hop Dancer!reader

Rockstar!Ellie

Masc!reader

Introvert!reader X Introvert!Ellie

Affectionate!reader

Actress!reader

She calls you mommy

Goth / grunge reader

Reader with ADHD

Bossy!reader

Ellie on her period

Streamer!Reader

Reader is Maria and Tommy's daughter

Taller!Reader

Reader with OCD

make-up artist!reader X streamer!Ellie

Older sister!Reader

Insecure!reader

Apologetic!reader

Deaf/ hard of hearing!reader

RichOlderWoman!Ellie

southern!reader

loser!ellie

having a baby with her (biologically)

ONESHOTS:

You deserve more

Summary: after you caught your boyfriend making out with another girl at a bar, you call Ellie for a ride home. (MODERN AU)

Reckless

Summary: While working, Joel comes in and tells you that your girlfriend, Ellie, was injured on patrol.

Protecter

Summary: After sneaking out, Ellie protects you from some unwanted attention. (KNIGHT!ELLIE X PRINCESS!READER)

New Year's Day

Summary: You and Ellie host your first ever New years Eve party, and as you both clean up the mess your friends had left in their wake.

Can I take a picture? (Out soon)

Summary: You, an architecture student, decide to spend yor three months off for summer break exploring and visiting classic Victorian houses, seeing beautiful structures and meeting eccentric people. (VAMPIRE!ELLIE)

MULTI-PART:

PROFESSOR - Pt 2 - Pt 3 ✓

Summary: After Dina forced you to go to her new physics teachers public lecture, you start developing feelings for the professor. (PROFESSOR!ELLIE X STUDENT!READER)

PLAYER TWO - Pt 2 - Pt 3

Summary: A series of imagine entailing the chaos you and streamer!Ellie cause together. (STREAMER!ELLIE)

MOTIVATION - Pt 2

Summary: You become your girlfriends physical therapist. (BOXER!ELLIE)

Why?! (PART 2 OUT SOON)

Summary: it was bound to happen sooner or later. I mean Joel slaughtering all the fireflies seven years ago was a pretty hard secret to be kept quiet- but you still wish it never reached Ellie's ears.

IMAGINES:

Phone S*x NSFW

Summary: You send Ellie a nude when she's abroad on a business trip. (SugarMommy!Ellie)

Play for me

Summary: After Ellie lost her fingers she longed to play the guitar again, so you played for her.

Jackson's Love Hotel NSFW

Summary:Your favourite customer needs to relax after a very stressful patrol and comes to you for some relief. (Brothel Worker!Reader)

Ask your daughter

Summary: Eventful late night escapades makes Ellie a no-show for patrol. (Maria+Tommy's daughter!Reader)

Miss me sugar?

Summary: After three months of deployment, Ellie finally returns home. (Military!Ellie)

Tattooed on my heart

Summary: Ellie's always loved when you doodle on her arm, leaving behind traces of you. She loves them so much she wants them to stay forever.

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl

Summary: wasting a Friday night on a first date with a boy you've never met in person was a dumb idea- and surprise! it all goes to shit- but Ellie's there to make sure you have a good time! DAY 2 OF SAPPHIC SUMMER

SAPPHO

Summary: Ellie pulls up outside of your house, ready to take you on a first date. DAY 3 OF SAPPHIC SUMMER

Rescue Remedy

summary: you call Ellie to come and rescue you from a bar after having a few too many drinks DAY 4 OF SAPPHIC SUMMER

SOCIAL MEDIA AU:

(strictly texts and insta posts)

Texts with Ellie

Part 1

Part 2

ABBY ANDERSON

TLOU2

HEADCANONS:

Doctor!reader

Anxious!Reader

Farmer!Abby

Werewolf!Abby

Masc!reader

ONESHOTS:

(Nothing here yet)

MULTI-PART:

HUNTED (PART 2 OUT SOON)

Summary: Although you stopped Abby from killing Joel, Ellie still wants to seek her revenge.

IMAGINES:

Sundress Season NSFW

Summary: A picnic date can really only end one way~ DAY 1 OF SAPPHIC SUMMER

Hayfever

Summary: you've fallen sick, and you don't want Abby to get sick too- she says it's just hay-fever. DAY 5 OF SAPPHIC SUMMER

HBO ELLIE WILLIAMS

HBO TLOU ADAPTATION

!!THIS CHARACTER IS UNDER 18! SO IT WILL BE PLATONIC!!

HEADCANONS:

(Nothing here yet)

ONESHOTS:

GOODNIGHT, MOM

Summary: After helping Ellie down from a panic attack, she calls you Mom for the first time. (MotherFigure!Reader)

MULTI-PART:

(Nothing here yet)

IMAGINES:

Happy Mothers Day

Summary: The first mothers day Ellie has ever celebrated and she's going to make sure that it's amazing. (MotherFigure!Reader)

I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

coming soon

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!!

I write for:

Ellie Williams (Romantic + Platonic)

Abby Anderson (Romantic + Platonic)

HBO Ellie Williams (PLATONIC)

[gallifreyanhotfive]

Do you have any recommendations on Dr. Who books/audio format things? I haven't watched the show in a bit because Moffat wasn't my thing and I can't seem to find the old stuff. (If you have any advice on where to find that too I would be very grateful) Following your blog has been a nice reminder of why I liked the show so much. Hope you have a good day!

Aw thank you! Depending on your location, you can find classic who episodes either on BBC iPlayer or Tubi (with ads).

As for books/audios, I'll try to keep this brief as I could write an essay on this.

For books, my favorite author is Kate Orman. Orman writes wonderfully, and my personal favorite is The Year of the Intelligent Tigers. I also really liked Goth Opera, Camera Obscure, History 101, Autumn Mist, Lungbarrow, Divided Loyalties, Somewhere Never etc etc etc etc (so many more but I'm forcing myself to stop here). You can often find free versions of basically every novel (at least all I've looked for) on the internet either as pdfs or epubs or whatever. The Internet Archive is particularly useful. Some examples:

And now for the audios! I personally have sold my soul to Big Finish. I have literally hundreds of recommendations. They do have some audios for free, such as those that came from the Paul Spragg Memorial Competition. You can also find a lot of them (up until Zagreus I think) for free on Spotify. There is also almost always a killer sale going on on the website on top of that too.

As for my recommendations, it's pretty dependent on what Doctor or companion you want to listen to. They even have series centered on UNIT, Romana's Gallifrey, Benny Summerfield, and a ton of other things (including a Masterful special that just had a bunch of Masters fucking around and finding out). I'll put in some of my favorites, one for each Doctor, from what I own (which is far from everything, but I do my best).

One: The Sontarans. It was the first time the Doctor had ever encountered the Sontarans, so he was unfamiliar with them. It takes place during Dalek Master Plan, so Steven and Sara are there.

Two: Lords of the Red Planet! It's a good Ice Warrior origin story and has Jamie and Zoe in it. :)

Three: Terror of the Master. I had pre-ordered it as soon as I heard about it. Three....Delgado Master....what more do you want from an audio? It's narrated by Jon Culshaw.

Four: The Wrath of the Iceni. It was a brilliant historical with Four and Leela and Boudica. Leela gets quite a lesson in this one, first being mad at Four for not helping Boudica and then at Boudica for being cruel.

Okay now we are getting into my favorite Doctors (5-8), so these decisions are going to get difficult.

Five: The Kingmaker! Shakespeare spikes Five's drink to get him absolutely wasted to sneak on the TARDIS, the TARDIS gets hiccups as a result, leading to Peri and Erimem being separated from the Doctor. Shenanigans ensue.

Six: Doctor Who and the Pirates. Six and Evelyn have a really meaningful discussion with one of her depressed students. The third part is a musical!

Seven: The Shadow of the Scourge. Benny Ace and Seven against 8th dimensional eldritch abominations. Seven gets turned into one of these insectoids, and body horror ensues.

Eight: Oh dear I can't choose. At the moment, probably the Great War from Dark Eyes 1. Eight meets Molly and is still grieving here. He is very much doomed by the narrative.

War: The Neverwhen. Lots of the War Doctor is good if you like Time War horror, but this one has a lot of time-as-a-weapon and is well written.

Nine: Battle Scars. A nice short story about that one family Nine saved from the Titanic mentioned in the episode Rose. Has a really fantastic girl in it and a Nine dripping in PTSD.

Ten: The Time Reaver. Ten and Donna! There's this gun that basically slows down time for a single person, so that a few minutes for everyone else is centuries for them. Ten is a self sacrificing dope.

Eleven: The Geronimo boxset is the best in my opinion, but I haven't been able to listen to many of these yet.

Twelve: Another one I haven't managed to buy a lot of yet, but Dead Media is amazing. It's written to sound like a podcast with adverts and everything and is set during his time at St. Luke's. And I cried at the end.

Anyway, I'll shut up now. This was so much fun! Thank you!

[cal-writes]

the other day i haunted @bumbleboa with ideas again and wrote her a little bit. figured i could share here too. zorolaw funeral home au

-

Law stares down at the buffet of finger food with an entirely warranted intensity. It feels vaguely inappropriate to dig in, considering none of the actual family has even started to consider the spread, too busy talking to each other. He barely knew the departed, save for wasting three donor organs on him. Someone laughs and someone else giggles. The sound is nearly swallowed by the carpet and the heavy drapes around the room but not enough to extinguish entirely.

Well, surely eating something can't be more disrespectful than that. Besides, Law kind of skipped breakfast because he slept through his first alarm. He takes one of the tiny plates and piles some of the skewered meatballs ontop of it, stuffing one between his teeth.

"My condolences." Someone next to him says. Law inhales as he startes and nearly swallows the toothpick. He tries to stifle his cough and thumps his chest. "Shit, sorry." Law glances out of the corner of his eye and sees the green haired man next to him.

He at least has the decency to look sheepish about sneaking up on him.

"It's fine." Law clears his throat. "Err, thanks. You too." He offers his hand and the man takes it.

His hands are warm and calloused, his grip firm and Law feels his palms sweat just a little. This close the scar over the man's eye looks gnarly but doesn't detract from his handsome face. The other eye is a cool steel gray. It's looking down at their clasped hands.

"Nice tattoos." He says, snorting and Law cringes (and curses his 20 year old self for thinking that getting 'death' tattooed on your hands as a doctor was a funny joke).

"I-" He tries but the words get stuck halfway up his throat.

The man releases his hand and smirks slightly. "Don't worry. I'm not with the family. I work here." He says and Law feels a weight drop off his shoulders.

"Oh, thank fuck."  He breathes, glancing around to make sure none of the family caught that exchange but they are still having a grand old time amongst themselves apparently.

"Given that, I'm guessing you're also not family?" The man asks, turning to the buffet and grabbing what looks to be a tiny sandwhich.

Law shakes his head and eats a meatball. "No, I was his doctor."

The man nods and chews thoughtfully. "I see, so the tattoes are a warning?" He asks with a twinkle in his eye and Law feels the heat rise to his cheeks.

"No." He shoots back, slightly too high pitched and the man laughs.

"I'm Zoro." He says.

Law sincerely hopes his face isn't as red as it feels. "Trafalgar Law." He responds.

"Doctor, I hope." Zoro asks with a smirk. and Law glares.

"Yes, obviouisly." He tells him, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Nika help him, this man is insufferable. (He kind of wants to pin him against a wall and bite that smug grin off his face).

He gets bumped with a sharp elbow and takes an instinctive step aside, glaring at Zoro who nods past him. Law follows his gaze to the woman in the frilly goth gown who was standing next to framed picture of the departed with a trembling lip. "You should show them to Perona, she'd get a kick out of that."

Law frowns at the woman and her big teary eyes. "I don't think that-"

"She's faking." Zoro tells him and Law looks back at him just in time to see him lick crumbs off his fingers. "Boss makes us come to the wakes if there aren't enough people." He says and Law blinks.

He looks back over at Perona, who grasps the shoulder of one of the old men and shakily nods at him as he tells her something. "Huh."

"You learn to make your own fun at these." Zoro mutters, too close to Law all of the sudden. He feels his breath on his ear and shivers.

His mouth is dry, suddenly. "I see." He manages to bring out. (Oh, he has a terrible idea). "Like what?" He asks, glancing over his shoulder and meeting Zoro's shark grin.

[fuckyeahfightlock]

It's 2004. Someone has sent me a link, or I have found a link, or whatever. Link.

The link is to a video. YouTube has not been invented yet so I waste time downloading this video via the link. This can take up to five minutes as we are past dial-up but still do not tout the number of G's our internet. . .makes? accommodates? (I don't understand G's, to this day). So it's probably broadband that does this.

The video is a panning shot of a black and white. . either a room or an outdoor scene, moody, not necessarily spooky. There is very small, cursive script appearing on the video, a line at a time, while gentle music plays in the background. The text tells me that this is [song title] by the horror/goth/metal/whatever-they-were band Cradle of Filth, then noted something or other about the band, or the song, like a very slow and boring wikipedia article.

I lean in to read the text better. The music is so-so; I've heard of Cradle of Filth, for some reason I know they recently had a baby girl they named Agony, which I admire for its commitment to the premise, but of which I ultimately disapprove--she's a baby, not a fashion accessory.

Suddenly there's a loud screech and a hideous, terrifying face, and I jump and scream. This is a thing that happens online; seemingly innocuous videos end in jump scares, called "screamers". Later, when YouTube is invented, a lot of videos will be filmed of people being jump-scared by screamers.

Fast forward to this morning, when I watched my scary movie of the day and this is exactly the kind of scare this movie has exactly one of (ninety long minutes ends with one scare, then five minutes later it ends on one gross-out. Period.). I do not jump or scream. I roll my eyes and sigh and say loudly, "Oh, come ON, are you fucking KIDDING me right now?" A sudden close-up of a scary black and white face with a shrieky sound. I mean really. What century are we in?

Butterfly Kisses is a 2018 faux-documentary about (wait for it!) some found footage and the man who has cut it together into a film, and how no one believes the footage is real.

I was angry three minutes into this movie, when the lore of "Peeping Tom" was explained. A railroad tunnel in Maryland. If you stare down it for AN HOUR without blinking (impossible, but OK, it does sound like a plausible urban legend), a shadowy figure called Peeping Tom appears at the opposite end of the tunnel. Each time you blink, he comes closer, until finally he is so close to you he can flutter his long eyelashes and they brush yr face and you have to blink and he kills you.

DOES THIS LORE SOUND FAMILIAR??? IS IT THE SAME LORE AS THE THIRD MOST FAMOUS DOCTOR WHO VILLAIN???

I was so annoyed.

My irritation grew incandescent when halfway through the movie the Guy Who Found the Footage (Gavin) takes off his dumb tweed jacket and just happens to have a tattoo on his forearm of a sonic screwdriver. I threw a sofa pillow. These fucking people who made this fucking movie what the fuck.

At one point in the faux doc, which is set in Maryland, actual Eduardo Sanchez!!!, one of the co-directors of actual The Blair Witch Project (also set in Maryland), does a talking head segment about The Guy Gavin, asserting that his found footage must be fake because it's all too convenient. There's another guy who is not actual John Waters but you just know the filmmakers wrote the part hoping John Waters would agree to do their little indie Maryland movie.

The dialogue was improvised, so there was a lot of awkwardly dumped-in exposition and too much swearing. There were only four women with speaking parts, only one with more than ten lines. There were a shit ton of 30something white guys, though!

Director Erik Kristopher Myers died young (40) after being struck by a van, leaving behind a wife and children, so I won't speak ill of him. But this movie just rubbed me every wrong way. It's not good.

Also, how I ended up watching four found footage films in under a week is really beyond me; I don't even LIKE found footage movies. I'd say on the whole I actively DISLIKE them. No more found footage this month. Except that I might rewatch Lake Mungo if I run out of movies near the end of the month (I have a list of To Rewatch films in case I can't find new-to-me movies I want to watch and/or I've watched so many stinkers I just don't want to risk it anymore). But no others!

Anyway, miss me with this one.

[unboundwanderers]

He never quite could wrap his head around THE WANDERER. There was something in his mind that simply couldn't connect his origin to any discernable logical reason aside from the glaringly obvious one. Raiden Ei is a complex woman, however. She has emotions & desires she herself doesn't even understand - and his time opposing the Vision Hunt Decree - however brief, gave The Timelord this insight. So there probably wasn't even really a reason for The Wanderer's creation aside from the desire to just... do it.

And he never really let this boy wander through his thoughts. Until he met him, that was. The way his facial structure seemed to be perpetually molded into a look of disatisfied boredom, the way his eyes were narrow and hostile. There were things The Timelord noticed that caused him to clam up a little bit. Perhaps there was a connection. Perhaps he was just desperate for any kind of hope that Gallifrey might be able to linger on through someone else besides himself. Whatever it was, The Timelord felt a certain kinship with this young man and through kinship- responsibility.

It REALLY isn't his business. It REALLY isn't his problem or his responsibility. Really, this boy probably isn't anything to him. If he was, it would be very tragic for The Wanderer. He'd have brothers, sisters, nieces, and nephews who had all burnt. So The Timelord looked to suppress any sort of unspoken truth that there might be a connection between himself and The Wanderer via his connection to the Boy's Mother. He had, of course, never told Tetsuya any of this. In fact, he was very vague about his interest. When asked, he simply told him the Wanderer that he was friends with The Dendro Archon or that he was friends with so and so, or this and that. Lots of vague things. They never really talked about it. He never really gave a straight answer.

When he saw Tetsuya, right now, he saw familiar sights and features. Not exclusively due to physical appearance, more due to recognizing things that were deeper than the surface. Timelords did not see physical appearance. They saw psychic signatures. They saw light, darkness, joy, hatred, sorrow, and love as energies emitted off an individual. The Face and The Body were just shells to be changed out whenever regeneration occurred. It was strange for him to see things he could relate to in another. When he wanted to run away from Gallifrey, when he'd felt the barb wire choking him, when he tried to swim up into a new world, into a new life.

And yet, he couldn't get the shackles of Gallifrey off of him, just as Tetsuya could not shake Inazuma off of him now. The Timelord moved to swallow a lump in his throat, and simply just... sit next to him. He didn't stare. He just watched the fire with him. He threw another log in, so the young man didn't have to do it himself. He simply sighed to himself, staring into the fire. He remembered hating his home all the way until... he's lost it. Until it'd burnt in a fire that not even the ancients of Gallifrey could escape from.

He never wanted Tetsuya to feel that pain. He never wanted anyone to feel that pain. He moved to sit with the Wanderer very quietly and spoke only one simple thing. "Tell me when you'd like me to leave." He said, giving him a side eyed glance before reaching into his coat and picking out a bag from within the coat, "Until then..."

He grabbed a nearby stick and stabbed a MARSHMALLOW through it before handing the bag of multicolored marshmallows to the younger man.

"Just staring at a fire causes the grossest lines on your face. It's all the sulking." He tried to make a joke about it. Until his gaze softens at the young man. He wouldn't leave the boy on his own, as that was just a bit too cruel for someone like him. He smiled softly and moved to look back toward the fire.

"Do you wanna talk about it..?" [From Space Dad]

@unboundtravels

The snapping of the wood under the fierce burn of the flames of the fire that had been set up for the night is the only sound within their space amidst the wilderness of Inazuma. Being here... it makes Tetsuya more quiet than usual, unsettling so. It made him more on edge, the blade that he is, the edge sharpens anew, the barbed wire that surrounds him becomes larger and its sharpness will cut with newfound vigor to which Tetsuya will not apologize for to whoever attempts to reach in. In his silence, his mind is loud and in quiet protest he throws another log of wood into the flames so it can be consumed for his ever watchful pleasure if only to prevent his mind from consuming him into its own personally made abyss.

With him a man, forged and dented by many a celestial and cosmic matters that Tetsuya is still to grasp, but those details aren't something he's paying any particular attention to at this time, not when his mother creator is but a few hours away from where he is. His change in character, in his behavior, is all too obvious even to those inept of emotion. Even if Tetsuya would prefer that attention not be aimed at him, he supposes with this individual that's going to be impossible. Tetsuya frowns looking over at Goth, the bluntness of the question something that he did not expect... but appreciates nevertheless. Individuals who peek from behind bushes are the ones that annoy him the most, after all.

He keeps his peace, not in consideration or contemplation, but only because he wants to keep his peace, he wants to be quiet. Being in Inazumen soil brings back many a things all at once at forefront of his mind that, to his credit, is never truly empty.

The wanderer's frown softens, not out of tenderness, but out of a weariness of the soul, perfectly shaded over by his kasa as he rests his chin on the hand of the arm that's propping on his knee, turning his gaze elsewhere. "No." What is there to talk about anyway? The past is the past, even if he's the only one who's carrying it in his memory.

[major2501]

Everyday I Write the Book

I woke with a bit of a start on Sunday morning, coughing slightly and feeling like I was smelling a bit like a bonfire. I looked over to where Victoria's bed was, she was standing in front of her wardrobe putting her clean clothes on hangars and rearranging everything around.

'Oh, morning Maddie.' Victoria said to me. 'I've just boiled the kettle if you want some tea?' She said as she finished hanging her clothes up, then made her way over to our small kettle.

'Morning, cheers that sounds great.' I spluttered and coughed as I up-righted myself, having a quick glance at my phone for the time; just gone twenty to nine. I watched as Victoria made me a mug of tea with milk and two sugars and sat it down beside me on my bedside table. I thanked her and graciously took a huge gulp of the sweet, hot tea. Victoria stared at me for a brief moment.

'Did you go out last night? Or go sleep walking or something?' She asked me.

'Wait what?'

Victoria reached over and rustled about in my hair. She pulled out a few twigs and leaves and showed me.

'Oh, I don't know.' I stared at the random leaves and twigs in Victoria's hand. She just shook her head and threw the loose shrubbery in the waste bin.

'Maddie you should really go see a doctor or something. You've not been yourself since we started the new term and you've been poorly too.'

I sighed and nodded at her.

'Yeah I probably should.'

'Anyway I was gonna head over to the dining hall shortly for some breakfast if you wanna come?'

'Yeah I think I might, Auntie M's coming for me soon.'

I dragged myself out of bed and quickly tried to make my duvet look a bit less dishevelled. I drank the rest of my tea and quickly threw on some moderately presentable clothes then hurried in to the communal shower rooms to wash my face and brush my teeth. Fifteen minutes later and I was making my way to the dining hall with Victoria. Weekend breakfasts at the school were pretty relaxed and we could pretty much do what we wanted but they always opened up the dining hall every morning regardless. Some students religiously went to the dining hall during the week but some of us couldn't be bothered and ended up having a morning brew and a slice of toast at our dorm instead. It depended on what day it was really, as the breakfast menu never really changed so we usually went on a Wednesday for Eggs Benedict.

But right now, Victoria and I were tucking in to scrambled eggs on toast with cups of tea and a small glass of orange juice each.

'Does Liam Blakeley fancy you or something?' Victoria asked me under her breath.

'Is he staring again?' I nonchalantly asked her back just as I was cramming some food in to my mouth.

'Yeah, pretty intently.'

'That's it.'

Now I really was in the mood to go over and give him a piece of my mind. I began to rise from my seat but Victoria tugged me back down.

'Hey, Mr Evans just walked in and sat next to Liam.' She whispered. I turned my head ever so slightly and caught sight of them in the corner of my eye. I watched for a few seconds but quickly turned back when I say Mr Evans look at me at the same time as Liam. It was weird and it kind of freaked me out a little. What the hell was wrong with them?

Victoria and I finished our breakfast and made our way outside, just when my Auntie M had come roaring up to our dorm building in her BMW. She turned off the engine and got out, leaning her arm on the roof of the car.

'Morning you two.' Auntie M beamed at us. She shut the door and came round the front of her car and sat on the bonnet. Today she was wearing all black, black boots, black leggings, a mid-length asymmetrical jumper and a black leather jacket. She had her black hair tied back in to a messy bun and her eyes were excessively lined in black also. She looked like she was going through a bit of a Goth moment.

'Morning Auntie M.' We replied in unison.

'So let me be the first to tell you but...' She stalled for a moment. 'I'm your new Chemistry teacher as of Monday!'

Victoria and I squealed and both went to give her a hug. She squeezed us tightly.

'I didn't think they'd fill the position so quickly.' Victoria stated. 'Did they have many applicants?'

'I think they had another four as well as myself. Three guys and another woman from what I can gather.'

So my Aunt was now the schools new Chemistry teacher. I knew of this ages ago because of a daydream; before she had confirmed it and I was pretty sure she had known it would happen too. At least I had my favourite family member closer to me especially after the bombshell she dropped on me last night.

'Well I really don't know how to say it, so I'll just say it. You're a witch Maddie.'

Wow I nearly forgot about that. Auntie M said she would speak more about it today so I guess I could ask her some questions. I felt a bit sick now after I remembered what happened.

We all carried on chatting for a bit when I thought I felt a shift in the air, I could tell Auntie M felt it too as her eyes darted in my direction then straight over to the doors leading in to the dining hall. Mr Evans and Liam were walking out side by side. There was an indescribable heat that seemed to be coming towards us.

'Anyway, I have some studying to do. Congratulations Auntie M. See you later!'

'See ya.' Auntie M and I said to Victoria as she made her way back to our dorm.

'Do you feel that Auntie M or is that just me?' I whispered.

'I feel it. Give me a second.'

I looked at her, the wind was blowing her hair slightly but within a few seconds it had completely gone; almost as if it was turned off with the flick of a switch. The weird feeling in the air though coming from the direction of where Mr Evans was stood was warm, but felt odd like when you were too warm under a heavy blanket. That feeling had lingered for quite a while but much like the windy sensation, it dissipated after a short while.

'He's coming this way. Auntie M why's he coming this way?' I whispered again, slightly exasperated this time.

'Keep calm I've got this covered. Act natural.'

I didn't know what do do so I just grinned and nudged Auntie M in the arm like she had just told a dumb joke or something. She joined in on the feign we were improvising.

'E28 Beemer. Nice.' Mr Evans was commenting on my Aunts car.

'1988 518i.' She replied. Mr Evans just let out a low whistle then held out his right hand.

'Daniel Evans, I'm a history teacher here.'

My Auntie M rose up from leaning on her car bonnet to shake Mr Evans' hand.

'Morrigan Taylor, I'm Madelyn's Aunt. I'll be starting as the new Chemistry teacher here on Monday.'

The two shook hands. I watched as my Aunt and Mr Evans sort of stared at each other in a really bizarre way. It was almost like they had just taken twenty paces and were about to shoot each other. I noticed their hands had stayed connected for a just a few seconds longer than what was comfortable.

'Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Ms Taylor.'

'Morrigan please, we'll be working together Mr Evans.'

'You're right and please, call me Daniel.'

This was probably the most weirdest exchange of words I had seen in a long time. Both of them were quite stand-offish and almost hesitant. There was a moment of silence before Mr Evans shook himself out of his daze.

'Anyway I'd better go, um. I'd better go. Enjoy your Sunday.'

Auntie M and I just smiled and waved, then quickly got in to the car.

'What the hell was that all about?' I wheezed.

'Feel the change in the breeze and the change in the heat before he came over?' Auntie M asked me. I nodded. 'Well that was power suppression. I can do it quite fast so it's barely noticeable sometimes to other magic users but it can take a bit longer for some people.'

'Wait you think that Mr Evans...'

'Possibly another magic user. I couldn't get a good gauge on him, if he is a magic user then he's either really good at masking it, or he's a bit under powered. I'm thinking the latter, warlocks tend to be a bit weaker than us witches.' My Auntie M explained.

'So male magic users are warlocks and female are witches?' I asked.

'Technically yes and no. Witch is a gender neutral term so anyone can use it if they like. But females are more commonly associated with witch, and guys; warlock.'

Auntie M started the car and it rumbled to life. She shifted in to drive and made her way down out on to the main road.

'I'm sure you have loads of questions, so I'll do my best to answer them.'

I thought I had loads of questions but for the life in me I couldn't remember. I was still trying to figure everything out and convince myself I wasn't crazy and neither was my Aunt.

'I might even teach you some basic spells to get you started.' Auntie M chuckled at me.

We drove for a short while in to town. Auntie M said we could go round a few shops then stop by some cafe for a bit of lunch. It gave me a chance to actually think of some questions I wanted to ask. Auntie M took me in to a really expensive and posh stationary shop but I wasn't sure why.

'Are you getting new supplies for when you start on Monday?' I asked her.

'Nope, we need to find you your own spell book.'

Spell Book. My own, Spell Book.

'Every family has their own main grimoire but we all keep our own individual spell books, I've got quite a few of my own up to now.'

As we wandered around the shops anytime I had thought of a question; if the coast was clear then I would ask my Aunt.

'When was your awakening?'

'I had just turned five years old.'

'Five? How did that happen when you were that little?' I didn't know much about any of this but that seemed like a really young age, especially considering I just had my awakening aged seventeen.

'It's different for everyone, we would consider you a late bloomer but that's no surprise. Your mother never taught you anything or even let you know in the first place. You've not grown up around magic so you've not had as much practice as the rest of us.'

'How old was my mum when she had hers?'

Auntie M stopped looking through some really expensive fountain pens she had taken a shine to, to have a think.

'She was around thirteen I think. Monica had hers aged five like me, Miranda was about ten. Molly and Macy were just about to turn sixteen and Melody was twelve.'

'Melody?' I asked sounding confused.

'Melody is your other cousin, the big sister of Molly and Macy. Anthony is the eldest though but he has no powers. Wow Maddie, you really didn't know did you?'

'I knew I had some cousins but mum never told me anything and I've never been allowed to meet them. You're the only member of her family she let me see.'

I was beginning to resent my mother, well; a bit more than what was normal. She never had time for me any more not since my dad died. And now I was finding out things, major things about myself and my family that I suppose should have been coming from my own mother.

'I can't believe she never told me any of this. Was she even going to tell me?' I looked up at Auntie M and I felt like I was on the verge of tears. I looked down and tried to blink them away but I think one or two drops escaped. I blotted round my eyes with the back of my hand but blinked again when I saw something that just stood out at me on one of the shelves holding notebooks and diarys. I picked it up and admired the cover. It was a dark navy blue coloured A5 sized notebook' a hard cover that was in a strange flocked velour type fabric with an intricate pattern round the edges in silver that looked like it had been embroidered on. I held it out for my Auntie M to look at.

'Why do I feel like I absolutely have to buy this? Like, why am I feeling a sense of doom if I walk out of here without buying it?' That's exactly what I was feeling in my stomach, a sense of dread. I didn't want to put the notebook down.

'Because you do have to buy it Maddie.' Auntie M grinned. 'That's meant to be yours and it's telling you.'

Oh this was getting weird. I hugged the notebook close to my chest as if my life depended on it.

'Listen Madelyn.' Oh Auntie M rarely called me by my proper name with that tone of seriousness. 'I know your mother is not the best person to get on with, Jesus I know that she's my sister but she most likely had her reasons. Maybe not the right reasons but she probably thought she was doing what was best for you in her opinion.'

I guess I kind of had to agree with her on that, it was the motherly thing to do. I nodded in agreement.

'But you're a young woman, you're not a child any more and your awakening was always going to happen whether she wanted it to or not. My only issue is that she's left you totally unprepared, I'm just glad I knew it was happening especially as she made me promise not to tell you anything till your awakening had happened.' Auntie M put her arm around my shoulder and squeezed. 'You seem to be taking this well though I think?'

How else could I take it? I figured out quite quickly that this was happening and I needed to take it all on board and get on with it. I had to do exactly that when my mother sent me to boarding school, there was no way she was having me in a regular school any more and I pretty much lived there the whole time. I had to accept that.

'I'm still a bit pissed off at mum though, she's denied me a family and me knowing what I am.' I told Auntie M. I could totally believe she swore my Aunt to secrecy though.

'Oh don't worry about that girlie.' She squeezed my shoulders tightly again. 'She's never been one for our way of life she fought it for a long time, she just wanted a normal life and I guess she wanted that for you and now her power has dwindled. Your mum is an insufferable shit at times.'

I let out a bit of a laugh at that, mum really was impossible.

'She hasn't really got over dad either.' I added.

'Oh she'll figure it out. You've done well though.'

Another thing I had to accept. My father was gone and he wasn't coming back, a thing my mother couldn't really quite get her head around so she kept herself busy by working all the time. Auntie M was right though. I was getting older now and I should be making my own decisions and choices.

'Anyway you know you'll always have me on your side and you have your cousins now too. And the coven, we are like a big family. That's if you decide you want to take this further? Your choice.'

Did I want to take this further? I think I did at this moment in time. And Auntie M had just said it was my choice.

'So what else do I need to start?' I asked my Auntie M, holding up the notebook I was about to go pay for. She gave me an excited smile.

'Lets get some basic stuff for now. So you have your own spell book, we could maybe get you some crystals, candles maybe even some oils and herbs.'

'So will I be making potions and chanting in rhymes?' I grinned slightly. Auntie Morrigan tried to stop herself from rolling her eyes but I caught it.

'Forget everything you know about witchcraft that you've seen on telly or in films.' She told me. 'After time and lots of practice, we become a prime conduit for energy and intent and we can will things to happen. Here, watch this.'

I watched Auntie M as she shuffled over to a shelf nearby that had a range of individual loose pencils in different hardnesses. She picked a random one up and snapped it in half, holding the two halves in the palm of her hand. I looked at the broken pencil for a brief moment before the two broken edges shot together. Auntie M gave me the pencil to inspect, it looked like it had never been broken.

'Or you could be a bit of a dick.' Auntie M looked me straight in the eyes and stuck her tongue out. As soon as she did that, a row of the lights suspended from the shop ceiling popped; sending the complete aisle in to a strange kind of half darkness. I heard some of the shop staff shout each other asking what had just happened with the lights with replies of "I don't know! Where's the fuse box?" Auntie M chuckled slightly then with her index finger, pointed up to the ceiling and made a slight spinning motion. The lights instantly came back on. I heard one of the shop assistants yell "Never mind!"

'So you don't need to rhyme or make potions to do stuff?' I asked, a little bit stunned at what she had just done.

'For me most of the time no, because I've been doing this a long time and I'm a lot more powerful than other witches. It depends on the situation though, chanting rhymes and using potions serve their purpose; they're great when you're beginning as they help you concentrate but they can also amplify spells and direct the intent more accurately.'

I had just learnt more about my life, my family and my new craft in the fifteen minutes I had been stood in this stationary shop; none of which could be attributed to my mother. I really needed to talk to her at some point and she'd probably not be happy about it.

'Can we go get some lunch Auntie M? I wanna ask you more questions.'

'Sure thing, lets go pay for your notebook then we'll find somewhere nice to eat. Sound good?'

'Sounds good.'

[unboundwanderers]

WHEN THE TARDIS WAS PARKED OUTSIDE OF YELAN'S HOUSING AREA, That usually meant that the timelord had to wake her up for an adventure, but- that didn't seem to be what was happening today. Yes, he had Sonic'd his way into her apartment- but, was she really expecting anything less from him at this current moment? It didn't seem like he had anything planned today. Maybe the exhaustion had caught up with him...

Because when Yelan woke up, she'd find that on this particular morning- The Doctor had seemingly arrived at her apartment and snuggled up into her. His face pressed into her hip and his arms wrapped around her waist, his hair looking awfully ready for ruffling.

He hadn't even taken his shoes off- he'd just laid in there.

@lunaetis

[xoteajays]

I told you! I warned you.. That was actually the most intense episode besides the finale. I didn't lie to you about this. I know Dohwan mentioned that the cast had to rewrite the scripts multiple times before this is the script they settled on. I know that was for just the last two episodes, but what about this episode? Did the characters who died in this episode.. Would they have originally died. Because Ju was supposed to have more fight scenes with Gunwoo and Woojin in the finale episodes. I really don't know happened.

And I'm not sure if they died in the webtoon either...

Gun and Jin, my boys have literal battle scars now.

Everyone deserved better in this show.

~

I never understood why certain shows were popular to me. Like.. If you're going to watch popular shows though, make sure that show is worth watching.

But people who watch shows like Shameless, series and shows that are reality type shows bother me so much. I don't know why people like those shows.

And then the shows that deserve to be popular, just happen to be the most underrated shows in history.

But that's just my opinion.

You mentioned before that you're an INFJ, right? I'd remember the feeler part. I'm an INTJ. If that would mean anything.. I am more of a thinker than a feeler in life. I have never been comfortable about sharing my feelings with people so I'm a very private person with everything. But I know everyone's different in a situation where you are in abusive or traumatic type of relationship with someone. Especially family.

Then again. I'm also the person who, if I actually did mention my situation to someone - not just doctors either, they never tend to listen to me. Because that makes me feel like I was just only talking to myself.

So I never waste my time.

~

Actually! I saw a picture on his instagram with dark black hair, wearing red clothes. The first thought I'd have was, "Daruma?!" He looked a part of Daruma.

There were even pictures of him with fake tattoos.

That was I thought.. He'd risk his life helping people but feels awkward accepting help from people in all the ways they could help. So he's trying to get used his new friendships with the other gangs, especially with Daruma since they've always had bad history.

~

For the most part, I do try using different people for face claims. But if I'm attached to the person's look; like their appearance, style, even concepts with this person.. Then I will probably just use them for other fandoms. But that would actually depend on what I have in mind for that specific person or character.

Like AleXa has so many different versions of her.. I'd probably even use her for more than one fandom if I can. Girls Gone Vogue style really does give me that rich girl vibe, doesn't matter if she may be the mean bitchy rich girl type or just a misunderstood rich girl type. Just rich girl vibes. So I might want to use this style of a fandom but not sure which fandom yet.

And there are so many styles of her I could use.

Actually! I've thought about using her for as one of the face claims for Alice In Borderland, but I might not be completely sure. That's only because of her song Wonderland is an Alice In Wonderland theme song. So if I never use her as a AIB face claim at all, then I'm using that song for the AIB soundtrack.

I'm just working on whichever characters I have any inspiration for at the moment. So that does help me a bit. Kinda. Depends on those characters though.

Possibly. Since AleXa's style is mainly punk styles in a lot of ways, which is part of the reason why I want to use her as a face claim for the whole aesthetics.

Her actual style is this cyberpunk, punk goth, even preppy punk. Just different versions of punk to her.

Since Bloodhounds is more casual with the clothes, maybe casual punk goth and preppy punk for her.

Like the Tattoo era.. That might be one way I would imagine this Bloodhounds character's whole style.

Obviously she naturally has brown hair but dyes her hair just about every color when she wants to.

And I'm possibly thinking of a different style for this timeskip too. But I'm not really completely sure yet.

I might have to send some pictures to you.

Honestly? I know nothing about boxing other than I see two pretty men fighting. That's it. So I know the terms like in boxer and out boxer.. Because there's a interview with Dohwan and Sangyi about how their diet was, their exercising and the boxing techniques for their characters. I'll have to send you that video. Maybe after this episode because of those spoilers.

But I know Ju knows kendo, which is how she really was able to help Gun and Jin in those fights when it was obvious they needed help. And she had a tazer.

For tattoos and piercings. I'm not sure about which tattoos yet, but most of her piercings are her ears - Alexa has seventeen ear piercings. So her ears have been completely covered in piercings if you've seen those pictures. Don't know about other piercings.

I'll wait for your opinion after this episode. Don't get me wrong! The actress did a fine job with her whole character. I'm just annoyed she made the decisions that ruined her character. So I'm not really sure yet.

But yeah.. She has just so many styles, versions, of her that could be used for different characters she's used for face claim. At least that's what I think.

She's only 4'11, 149 cm which is closer to 4'10 ¾ but I guess it would be easier to say 4'11 for her. But she wears a lot of platform shoes to give extra height.

~

I might rewatch the first season. But not until right before the new season though... Which would be in December. I'd rather rewatch the show than being a person stuck watching Christmas shows or movies.

But that's just me.

And besides, you will be preoccupied with watching a new season of Squid Games during that season.

Like.. Depending on which version of apocalypse is happening, I could possibly survive if I did make an attempt to. Maybe. But also no at the same time.

Like Alice In Borderland apocalypse might be some maybe. Depending on the games. But no physically active games though, I'm just not physically active.

For zombie apocalypses. Depends on what zombie exists. Are talking about the slow zombies from the Walking Dead that would be very easy to outsmart those zombies? Then maybe.. If I made an attempt. But if they're talking about more fast and intelligent zombies like in Dawn Of The Dead, Train To Busan, and All Of Us Are Dead? Then I would be dead. And the only possible why I might survive is if I just have thrown other people to the zombies to save myself. If I was fucked up enough to use people as bait and even food for the zombies. But I wouldn't survive.

But in reality.. I might not survive. I'm not physically active as a person so that is one way I won't survive.

I enjoy bathing whenever I want, especially with the hot showers. So I need hot water.. Or warm water.

I need a toilet and toilet paper. I won't use a bucket, or behind a bush, rags, none of that is happening to me. I'd rather die than not have any of that.

At least for bathing, you could save water - actually rainwater - for bathing in. Use that water to bathe.

But women who still mensturate.. I would rather be using pads (or tampons) than rags for whenever I'm bleeding. Medication for when you need medicine.

I feel like I'm forgetting some things.

i thought at least lee’s wife would be okay but then yang jung asked ‘did you kill them?’ and my heart just dropped. they killed a pregnant women! i’ll say it again, myeong gil i will kill you.

jin was doing his best but there was too many of them. now he’s got knife scars and surgery scars. my boy :( :( :(

it looks like their deaths were predetermined since only the last 2 episodes were rewritten. but it still sucks. i can’t find anything about what happened in the webcomic tho.

~

it just seems depressing. why would you want to watch a show that is so miserable? like every episode is miserable. there are so many good shows that get cancelled early, but sure, 11 seasons of shameless, fuck it.

infp actually, i think. might have to retake the test though because i might’ve changed since i originally took it. infp and infj are pretty close tho.

~

repping daruma style. like the strawberry girls dressing in all the different aesthetics in that music video. i would like to see all the guys in the other gangs’ styles, just to see what it would look like if they were in a different group.

i feel like all the leaders are a lil like that like feeling like that have to deal with things themselves and not ask for help. hell that’s what end of sky was about, right? then final mission was all the teams working together but after all that, cobra’s still like ‘i can’t ask for help’. cobra with daruma and the amamiyas are probably the ones that take him the longest to get along with.

~

she looks so cute in the wonderland style! like with the blue hair and the red outfits. she’d look cool in aib, kuina was the only one with some actual style in it, with her hair and accessories.

i figured your oc was leaned more towards the casual punk and athletic styles, hence why i leaned towards her more girly streetwear-esque looks. there was one vid she posted of her in this popular butterfly halter shirt and i couldn’t find any other pics of her wearing it, but she looked so good! i think her juliet look would be good for the time skip, but idk.

im not usually a fan if black lipstick but her more gothy styles with black lipstick look great on her. it just wouldn’t fit for the idea i had for my oc.

if she shares a boxing style with gun or jin, maybe they could train together for specific moves, or sparring against the opposite to figure out how to fight someone with a different style. more girls should have tasers. and knives. let women have weapons!

jeez i hadn’t noticed but she does have so many piercings! i dont know if i’d use all of those for my oc, maybe a few of the lobe ones and a helix or two.

i just kept going ‘she doesn’t seem that short’ then would scroll down and boom, platforms or stilettos. i wonder if it’s hard to dance in them.

~

if i have to choose between squid game and sweet home, i’m definitely picking squid game.

i just know i’m not surviving. im like one of those lil pampered lapdogs that couldn’t survive in the wild. i’m on too many medications and i’m not that physically active and i’ll bleed to death during my first period without any pads or meds. death for me.

[unboundwanderers]

"Yes, you did. Congratulations!" He seemed disinterested in the fact that he was talking directly to the owner of the Teahouse he was sitting at. 'CASINO INSPECTION SERVICES' was what he'd used to get in. Manage to produce some documentation on the spot, as well. He was on top of his game today. Now, he was sitting at a bar stool in the secret Casino inlaid within the Teahouse.

He was fiddling with something on the bartable while he was sipping lightly at his tea. It was a glass orb, small red light pulsing within. The Doctor was totally ignoring the casino owner's threatening gaze by hyperfocusing on this orb of his. "Question: If you were lost in a maze, what would you use to find your way back to where you started?"

      " found you . "

[lananiscorner]

The Sandman rewatch - episode 7

So I like to do this thing where, if I didn’t consider a show a complete waste of time and if it does have an actual arc spanning the season, I watch the season twice–once as a binge watch and then once more episode by episode, because it helps me notice things I didn’t notice at first, especially in cases like this where I’m almost entirely unfamiliar with the source material.

Anyway, any and all chronological thoughts and ramblings about episode 6 of The Sandman beneath the cut, because spoilers.

Well, we’re starting this episode off on a lovely note. Rose’s dad can get fucked for all I care.

You know you’re messed up when the anthropomorphic personification of Despair tells you that you’ve gone too far.

Oh, so the whole business with Nada was Desire’s fault too? I guess there’s one in every family…

Rose has guts going straight from “sure, I’ll pay you” to “you’re not hiring by any chance, right?”

It’s nice to see Lucienne actually being wrong about something for a change. Also, I wanna know what’s residing in Abel’s basement. lol

Wow, Dream’s castle is looking nice again. Took him barely any time to fix the place up, huh?

Aww, Matthew is volunteeering to help out Dream by watching over Rose in the waking world.

Lyta and Rose’s banter about the annoyance of getting asked for ID or not XDDD. Relatable.

I remember watching this episode for the first time and being very impressed by the way they had handled setup and payoff in this show, and honestly, I still am. Quick story writing lesson: setup and payoff refers to introducing a plot point/item/character etc. early in a way that doesn’t disturb the plot and immediately scream “hey this is is important—remember this!” in spite of it becoming important later. If done right, the audience will go “oh wait, it’s plot point/item/character X from that earlier scene/episode!” when they get to the important part. This show is excellent with setup and payoff. So many things that may seem like filler/fluff actually make sense later. Good job, writers!

I love how Unity was so worried Rose would just be like “you’re crazy, I’m leaving”, yet the first thing Rose does when finding out that she’s got a great-grandma is hug her. ;_;

Omg the serial killer get-together! I love how this starts out like a totally normal conversation, then they mention the Corinthian and you might think “okay, maybe they’re talking about a different Corinthian or maybe he is like… a super famous chess player or something whenever he’s not murdering people”… and then she pulls out the picture of an eyeless murder victim and calls it exquisite and your brain just screeches to a halt like “what the fuck did I just walk into?”

And I just realize where I remember Rose’s friend Carl from—he was the doppelgänger on The Witcher!

Jesus Christ, the Good Doctor. XDD She’s not crossing the line, she’s dancing back and forth over it.

Oh hey, the fates are back! This can only end in tears.

“Beware dreams and houses”--that’s gotta be the most useless advice ever lol.

Unity just casually dropping the “oh btw, our family is loaded” bomb XD.

Lmfao, Carl here just casually seducing a walking nightmare.

Oh, that’s a picture of the girl from two episodes ago! Judy, I think?

“Any unusual behavior.” - “Said the pumpkin to the talking bird.” Lmao, please don’t ever change, Matthew.

I swear to god, Hal looks exactly like one of my former co-workers. I had to look up his actor to make sure my ex-co-worker hadn’t gone to Hollywood.

Also, I adore Zelda and Chantal. Fun fact: there were exactly two sub culture groups for girls in my middle/high school (in Germany, we don’t separate those two)--you either went with the fake tan bitches, or the goth rock punks. The latter were infinitely more inclusive.

I genuinely do feel for both Rose and the foster care case worker in this scene. There’s only so much you’re allowed to do by law and it’s just an all around shitty situation for everyone.

That said, the moment she mentioned the money, I knew where this was going.

Gilbert is amazing. And so much of his demeanor makes sense once you know who he really is.

Oh great, the Corinthian has found his people. This cannot end badly for anyone, nope.

Rose just casually strolling into Dream’s throne room and you can tell from the look on his face that he’s going “aw damn, so much for her not being an active threat—I might actually really have to end up killing this girl”.

Yep, Jed’s foster father is a piece of shit. Now we know where those 800/month are going.

[babaleshy]

I'm Autistic

Because this will likely be a lengthy, wordy post about my self-diagnosis as Autistic as well as all of my experiences regarding Autistic traits, I'm going to leave a "read more" link so that you're not scrolling for ages just to catch up on your feed.

Ah, I see you've clicked "keep reading" or "read more" or whatever this site has it labeled as, now. You don't get to be mad at how long this is or how much of a waste of time reading this may be to you because you consciously clicked on the link. Therefore, I am exempt from taking responsibilities of eating up any bit of your time, including the time you've wasted reading this disclaimer.

So... Yes. I am. And it's a self-diagnosis right now.

You're probably thinking that I saw a Tik Tok clip, checked out a page on WebMD, and decided that I'm Autistic (this is in reference to a Tik Tok I saw last night that nearly made me spit out my drink because of how painfully accurate the "what people think self-diagnosis is vs reality" clip was). That is, of course, not the case.

A few years ago (likely 2018), I don't recall what it was I read online, but it made me go, "Oh wow, that makes so much sense to me," in regards to a neurodivergent trait. However, this was then I thought I had ADHD. My husband has ADHD, was diagnosed with it as a child, and because his dad forced the doctor (this was like, in the late 90s, early 2000s I think) to put him on Adderall and Ritalin, my husband does not remember 3 years of his life because he was a drooling, zombified mess. Why did his dad do this? Because his grades were bad. Did this help with his grades? No. Did his dad take him off the meds because he didn't get the desired result? Also no. My husband wasn't even informed on what ADHD was. He was simply told he had it and to take these pills. It wasn't until he (my husband) read the label saying that it could increase the risk of heart issues that he cussed his dad out and flushed all the pills down the toilet. Up until very recently, he wasn't sure if he actually had ADHD until he saw a YouTuber who was actually diagnosed with it display the exact traits he had.

But he didn't see this YouTuber when I thought I had ADHD, so my husband couldn't exactly relate, plus I didn't want to trigger anything with him on the subject.

But the more I researched, the more I realized I could be on the spectrum. It wasn't until 2019 that I was printing out articles, trait lists, etc. to highlight and put into a folder (which is thick and nearly bursting with what I've printed out to have a hardcopy of records highlighting the traits that I have, including traits my husband and my mom see in me) that I realized "I could have Asperger's."

Of course, I no longer use that term after finding out it was named after a n*zi, and I began to embrace the term "Autistic" instead.

But the thing that triggered me into going, "Wait, so it's not ADHD that I think I have, it's Asperger's?" was, like my husband, seeing a YouTuber talk about their traits and experiences. I had identical struggles, myself. (Through this same YouTuber, I also found out I'm greysexual, too! There's a name to describe my experience with sexual attraction! Yay!)

There are a lot of VERY SPECIFIC TRAITS Autistic people experience that aren't mentioned by the YouTuber or in anything that I've printed out and highlighted that I have found through various Tik Toks that I have personally experienced that simply further solidifies the fact that I'm definitely on the spectrum. When I showed the Tik Tok I mentioned earlier (I don't remember their name) to my husband last night, he was wide-eyed because the description of how that individual self-diagnosed themselves WAS EXACTLY WHAT I DID WORD FOR WORD HOLY SHIT.

I was already convinced I am Autistic, but each time I read Twitter threads of people's experiences with their Autistic traits, each time I watch Tik Toks or certain YouTubers share their experiences, it further solidifies that yep, I'm Autistic.

What's amazing is that my husband is very supportive. I'm extremely lucky to have married him. I've been a terrible masker but he loves me anyways. He never gave me shit for my meltdowns and tried to help me out, thinking I was just horribly overly stressed. Now that he knows why I've had the few outwardly noticeable meltdowns that I've had throughout our years together, he knows how to help me more, now. And while he's figured out my traits and what issues I have, knowing that I'm on the spectrum helps him make sense of why I'm like this, and he can help me accordingly whether it's to prepare for something in advance, help me calm down, etc.

(I should also add here real quick that there's a high chance I have OCD as well, but less of the compulsive actions and more of the obsessive thoughts, but I'm not entirely sure just yet if this is the case. I'm actually hoping to see someone about this but with the pandemic, I don't know when that will be.)

Now... onto the traits and experiences.

My Traits (that stand out with neon lights)(Will copy word-for-word a trait my mom or husband see in me and it will be typed in a different color.)

Having a folder that has all of my research I've obsessively looked up, printed out, highlighted what I saw in myself with one color (yellow) while highlighting what my mom and my husband see with another color (pink). I'm also using this folder to make this list as a reference because I sometimes forget certain traits I do have are because I'm Autistic. (I'm 32 as I write this, so when so much of what you think, do, and experience that you see is normal for you turns out to be an Autistic trait, it takes a while to get used to it and thus remember that because you haven't had a label for it your whole life.)

Despite being goth/punk, I dress as comfortably as I can. Textures aren't a very big issue for me, but what feels like strangulation of my body tends to be a problem. I cannot handle having the cross seams of pants feeling like I have a chopstick slowly impaling my vulva, or I can't stand how tight some shorts are that they pinch my hip joints.

I've NEVER spent much time grooming my own hair. It's either tiring, I"m impatient and want it done NOW, or both. This is why I have a Tank Girl haircut (all buzzed except for bangs), where I can basically "wash and go." (Husband does my haircuts and dyes and he's kickass at it.)

Eccentric personality; may be reflected in appearance.

Is youthful for age, in looks, dress, behavior, and tastes.

Usually a little more expressive in the face and gesture than male counterparts.

"May not have strong sense of identity and can be very chameleon like before diagnosis." (This resonates with me in the form that I never saw myself in ANY fictional character other than Tank Girl. My husband agrees with this opinion, but he also says he also sees a lot of me in Caulifla from Dragonball Super.)

I enjoy reading and films as a retreat, often sci-fi, fantasy, children's (sometimes), can have favorites which are a refuge.

Uses control as a stress management (like routines, rules, rigid certain habits, etc.)

Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment.

I've been seen as "sensitive" by some, and mocked for crying a lot by others.

I struggled with social aspects of college and have 2 partial degrees.

Often have trouble holding a job and finds employment very daunting.

Slow at comprehending at times due to sensory and cognitive processing issues.

DOES NOT DO WELL WITH VERBAL INSTRUCTIONS; MUST BE WRITTEN DOWN

Special interests (I'll get into these later).

Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive.

Anxiety and fear are predominant emotions (some of which might be due to possible OCD).

I do have some sensory issues such as visual processing issues at times, certain sounds, certain smells, food I think, and issues with sunlight and my goddamn retinas.

Moody and prone to bouts of depression. Both of my parents as well as my husband have described my personality as reminding them of a cat.

Mild to severe gastro-intestinal difficulties (some of which could be due to endometriosis, btw).

I stim a little such as leg-bouncing, foot-waggling, some hand-flapping, some bouncing, the "spine-shimmy," joint-cracking, or playing with my ears.

Prone to temper or crying meltdowns, sometimes over seemingly small things due to sensory or emotional overload.

Hates injustice and hates being misunderstood, which incites anger and rage.

Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, especially after a meltdown, likely to stutter and may have a raspy voice.

Words and actions often misunderstood by others.

Perceived to be cold-natured and self-centered; unfriendly.

Very outspoken at times, may get very fired up when talking about passionate/obsessive interests.

Will shutdown in social situations once overloaded but generally better at socializing in small doses. May even give the appearance of skilled, but it is a "performance."

Doesn't go out much; will prefer to go out with partner only (aka my husband).

Will not do "girly" things like shopping.

Takes relationships seriously.

There's a bit on this chart (some of you probably already know by know what chart I'm using here) that says due to sensory issues, one would either really enjoy sex or strongly dislike it. I'm in the former camp complete with a pretty high libido.

Often prefers the company of animals.

So there are the traits that REALLY stick out like a sore thumb. These come from a site regarding female Asperger traits or however it's labeled as. I have plenty more from two other articles I printed out with lots of highlighting, but the chart actually sums a lot of the definitive shit quite nicely. At some point in this list, I could tell I went "fuck it" and copied many things word for word anyways since I'll be talking about experiences later in this post.

But it was this chart that I'd discovered that I started to realize that I really am on the spectrum, and to triple check, I asked my mom and my husband if they saw any of this in me. The traits typed in green are ones I wasn't sure of and had to ask them if they saw it. I'm not always aware of how I am, who I am at times, etc. I also didn't want to lie about it, so I had to get second and third opinions.

Despite all of this, only very few people that know me IRL know about me being Autistic. This is because I was heavily bullied growing up and since I haven't exactly left my hometown, I really don't want whoever stayed in the area as well to either have more fuel and re-enter my life that way, or try really hard to relieve their guilty conscience and demand that I forgive them or some shit. I also don't want "Autism Mommies" to come at my ass either asking that I help their kid (I'm not fond of children so that's not happening, plus ableism is what fucks a lot of Autistic people over regarding of age but they won't take that for an answer) or that because they---a neurotypical person---have a child who's Autistic, then that means they know all about it and because I'm not exactly like their child then I can't possibly be Autistic. It's just a whole mountain of shit I don't wanna get into.

This next bit will be split into 2 parts. One will be my special interests, and the other will be my experiences from my past that are prime examples of being Autistic long before anyone in the common public knew what Autism actually was.

My Special Interests (Both Forever & Temporary)

The following list will have my special interests but with indicators in parentheses as to whether they are forever-interests (as in, I never lost interest in the thing) or temporary (meaning, it was short-lived be it by weeks, months, or a few years). This will be in chronological order, meaning: the order of which these have appeared throughout my life.

Barney (temporary; helped me skip preschool and become honor roll student in kindergarten though)

Halloween (forever)

the color orange (forever)

dinosaurs (forever)

Donkey Kong Country esp. for SNES (forever)

animals (forever)

Godzilla movies (forever)

monster movies (forever)

Pokemon (temporary; I still like Pokemon, but it's not as hyperfocused as it used to be)

Digimon (temporary; same situation as with Pokemon)

Dragonball Z (forever)

Sailor Moon (on-and-off)

Ultimate Muscle (Kinnikuman Nisei) (forever)

Freddy vs Jason movie (still like, but the hyperfocus was temporary)

horror movies (forever)

Transformers (temporary)

Dark Knight movie (temporary)

Harley Quinn (temporary)

Lobo (temporary)

X-Men (forever, but only certain universes, mainly the 90s cartoon, and the character is always Hank McCoy)

neon-colored stuff (temporary; kind of some sort of semi-rave/techno phase)

books (forever; this was when I discovered it's "legal" to enjoy books if you "aren't smart"; I may explain this logic I had later in the post)

sex/sexuality/sexology (forever on the first two, temporary on the last one)

BDSM (on-and-off)

feminism (temporary in regards to doing research and educating myself; I still hold the views I've developed as a result, just not obsessively researching this topic anymore)

anarchism (forever)

ecology (forever)

Pleistocene epoch (forever)

goth and punk stuff (forever after discovering what these things are all about for real compared to when I was in high school and had no idea how to ask, who to ask, or where to look this stuff up at in rural Ohio)

Hellblazer (temporary)

Serbian heritage (on-and-off)

bats (temporary)

arachnids (forever)

teratophilia (forever; finally have a word to describe this damn kink)

gardening (current; unsure)

Russian language (current; unsure)

DIY things (forever)

Towards the end, it may not be in the proper order thanks to slowly losing my damn mind being cooped up mostly in my room on this farm since moving back here in 2014. The two that are "current;unsure" are ones I have a hyperfocus in right now, but I don't know if this will be temporary or not. I certainly hope not, especially considering how useful these things will be. And while I have gardening as one of them, I haven't properly begun yet because I get empty promises from my parents where they claim they'd help me, not to worry about it, then get irritated when I ask where the help is and they suddenly can't give me the help when I told them I needed it.

I should also note that I don't exactly have an encyclopedic knowledge in a whole lot of these interests that are forever-interests because I'm normally exhausted just trying to exist with minimal trouble from people. I'm hoping this will change. The things I know I have an almost encyclopedic knowledge in would be Dragonball Z, animals/ecology, and... a-and that's it. That's really it. That's all I've got because Dragonball Z was so profoundly different compared to other cartoons I've watched in the 90s that it was a wonderful escape, and I grew up around animals, taking care of animals, and watching nature documentaries. The stress I went through growing up has caused my memory of some of that wonderful animal knowledge to be lost and what could be re-gained may be easily forgotten again, hence why I need to narrow my focus for what I'd like to be an ecologist for. While I love paleontology, I want to help the living world's ecosystems and environments, too. I'd love to go back to school for this stuff now that I'm more informed of who I am and what I want in life (as opposed to being forced to pick a college major while still in high school while I'm just trying to survive the concept of existence).

In terms of collecting things pertaining to my interests, a common pattern you'll see me have is a very slowly growing Hank McCoy collection. This is largely because there isn't too much stuff made regarding this character. (There also isn't much stuff I can find that involves Piccolo, Cyndaquil, Donkey Kong, giant ground sloths, etc. that isn't already snatched up by other fans.)

Now, I'm going to get into the list of experiences. Some of which will talk about my special interests, but I also really want to talk about my struggles, too.

Experiences That Screamed "I'm Autistic"

In gradeschool, I was friends with someone who probably wasn't actually a friend and her mom made her hang out with me since I didn't really have any friends. She has told me several times that she didn't want to be my friend anymore with some kind of hostile catty smile, but I just.. I wasn't getting it. Because there was a smile. Why say that with a smile? After all we've been through? Then she's back to being my friend the next week. She really wanted to hang out with the popular girls (yes, there were cliques in 90s American gradeschool) and has done countless things to sabotage our friendship such as telling me Barney is a fake, Donkey Kong was a real gorilla who hung himself, etc. And I believed all this shit, too, in an attempt to still be an acceptable friend. She even told me that I couldn't be a witch because I liked toads so much (toads were the only wildlife I excitedly interacted with in my back yard on a regular basis).

I love Halloween for many reasons, but one of them (aside from my favorite color being involved) was the fact that it was acceptable to wear a mask. I love (and still do) the idea of covering my face because I feel less "naked" to the world. So this pandemic had a small plus for me in the form of mask-wearing outside of Halloween has become somewhat more acceptable.

In 5th grade, another classmate who had more obvious Autistic traits and was diagnosed with Asperger's at the time was an asshole to me. They would constantly give me shit and bully me for whatever reason. When I finally took a stand, the teachers on duty at recess called me to the bottom of the hill, forcing me to look at them WITHOUT allowing me to have my hands up to block the sunlight that hurt my eyes, and were able to manipulate me into "admitting picking on so-and-so for no reason" because I chased them around the playground where a group of girls (the same cliquey assholes the former "friend" wanted to mingle with) had to group-carry me away. They're the ones who snitched and they gave me those same hostile smiles. That's when I learned that not all smiles meant good things. I was 10.

I sometimes "lose the ability" to ask for help long before the "help" I ever got in any circumstance was just me being met with frustration by whoever is trying to "help" me or I'm met with "sorry, can't help you there. (The former being with homework or school work, the latter being with going to authorities about bullies.)

Growing up, I was never girly (or girly enough) and I've tried to, but I failed miserably. My special interests would roar through and because it was too odd or different or annoying, it gave other girls fuel for bullying me with.

Regarding the lack of being girly enough, I was at a pool party with the former "friend" mentioned earlier and she started this "game" where she and the other girls would leap into the pool saying, "I love you, Leonardo!" This was in 4th grade and in reference to the Titanic movie, which at that point, I'd never heard of, because I was too pumped for the latest Land Before Time sequel. So when I leapt into the pool, I said, "I love you, Raphael." All the girls were confused, asked who that was. I then asked, "Aren't we playing Ninja Turtles?" Because the only Leonardo I knew of was a fucking Ninja Turtle, goddamnit. Who let you brats watch that shitty romance film anyways? Boring as fuck.

Aside from the occasional weekend visits or sleepovers at the former "friend's" house, I didn't get to socialize much, so I would spend most of my days (especially in the summer) watching what was on TV or watching from our very large VHS collection. During which I would make mental notes on how certain characters acted or what they said and try to remember that to mimic them in a social setting, which would be out of place because I'd be so focused on mainly the dialogue that once it prompts me to say the thing, they don't respond how I expect them to and then I'm at a loss.

I was very ignorant of music and didn't even know the concept of independent or underground bands existed. Plus, rural Ohio is a cultural wasteland. Otherwise, I would've gotten into metal, goth, and punk way earlier in life. So I thought that bands that existed were because television said so.

Speaking of an odd logic... If it was taboo or bad to talk about, I thought it was illegal. Thus, I thought any knowledge about sex was illegal and that it was supposed to happen "naturally."

I also thought that, because I wasn't considered as smart by my peers, some teachers, and even as such in the form of an insult from my parents from time to time (despite what they claim NOW), that also meant I wasn't allowed to enjoy books, because only smart people are allowed to enjoy reading. So therefore, it would be illegal for me, a not-smart person, to enjoy reading a book. So I had to focus on the pictures because if I enjoyed reading, somehow everyone would know and then I'd get into trouble.

I also thought it was illegal to talk about periods.

I socially struggled BADLY when I got to middle school because my brain was like... 4 years behind? How the fuck do people know all these bigger words? Or complex issues? This was also when I had to start suppressing ALL urges to cry because at that age, I'm not "supposed" to cry over everything. So I still, to this day, suppress it to the point of guaranteeing inducing a headache. Because I've always caught shit for crying.

Middle school was when I met an oppressive "friend" who was obsessed with me because she had a crush on me and was rather controlling of who I could and couldn't talk to and got pissy if I got close to making a new friend. Because I was desperate for a friend that wasn't like the former "friend," I allowed this abuse into my life.

High school was me just trying to survive. By the time I got home, I was too mentally exhausted to enjoy anything short of watching TV or whatever was rented from Blockbuster.

My brain was still feeling like it was years behind, and I struggled to keep up with whatever was supposed to be something I knew about, including the concept of masturbation.

Like I said earlier, anything sex-related might've been illegal to talk about, and because masturbation was still kinda taboo, I feared I'd get in trouble, but my teenage hormones compelled me to do it a LOT. It consumed my free time almost like an escape, a form of stimming, but I was shameful of it to the point of suicidal thoughts.

The former bullet was due to being raised in a christian household. My parents didn't have such views on sex like this, but I was afraid of being in trouble for asking, took to the internet, and caught some misinfo about how immoral it was. I mourned I'd be going to hell.

Speaking of religion, I thought it was illegal to change your religious beliefs, and there was only Judiasm, Muslim, and Buddhism outside of christianity (I'm Pagan, now).

While I was excited to get away from my parents presumably for good after high school, college was a new form of hell. The sudden, dramatic change in environment and lack of ANY preparation for living like an adult on my own caused me to mentally/socially/emotionally malfunction. I had outbursts I desperately tried to suppress, I felt stupid because everybody sounded smarter than me, I didn't actually want to go to art school but wasn't smart enough for anything else and never really bothered to better my artistic skills and thus felt like I shouldn't be there anyways, I struggled to fit in better, I had no idea how to function that certain habits such as neglect of my own dishes on my desk developed because I LITERALLY COULD NOT SEE MY OWN MESSES DUE TO THE STRESS I WAS EXPERIENCING. This was 3 or 4 long YEARS of this.

Attending art classes mostly run by very demanding (and demeaning) teachers while my art skills weren't up to par added to this stress on top of me not actually wanting to be THERE in the first place, just away from my parents.

I nearly ruined a friendship with a roommate because of my struggles. I'm not even sure if she is aware of my Autism because I'm afraid to approach her about it for some reason.

Plenty of times throughout my life where I'm loud and don't even realize it.

I've info-dumped on my parents, but right now they half or completely ignore me.

I've tried making eye contact, but it's like staring in the sun not in the sense of pain, but in the sense of by natural reaction looking away. When I force myself to make eye contact, I'm spending so much focus and effort into doing that to the point where I am unable to pay attention to what the person is saying. Instead, I stare at the mouth so I make sure I hear correctly the words they're telling me.

Each time someone is mad at me and gives me the silent treatment, and I inquire what I did to piss them off, they get madder because I'm somehow supposed to immediately know when I fucking don't. Then, half the time, they continue not telling me and I have to hear it from someone else. This further confuses me as to why they don't just simply fucking tell me.

I've annoyed people to listening to the same one or few songs over and over again. A lot (currently obsessed with the Sunset Overdrive and Tank Girl movie soundtracks).

I can "smell" the heat outside on a summer day.

I can smell other people's unique scents sometimes (especially when in someone's house; also experienced this in other people's dorms).

I can't remember what grade this was, but in high school, we went to some kind of space camp facility thing, and our class was split into two groups: one group was the group who was on Mars and ready to come home, the other was on Earth and can't wait to go to Mars. I was in the former group. My job in this little fun display interactive room thing was to examine the isotopes and report... uh.. I can't remember.. Report something that was off. Everyone else was dicking around with what they're supposed to do, and I was actually doing my job, and then said something, like I was supposed to, if I found something that was off (I don't remember the specifics). When the scientist who worked at the facility praised me on "saving the crew," I caught this look from the entire class a look I can't quite describe other than they didn't seem to like the fact that I did a good thing and was being praised for it instead of any of them (or they were shocked that a "dumb girl" like me could achieve this and get praise for it, I don't know.. hard to tell). This was a science class field trip, but despite this, I didn't have an interest in space, and still didn't feel I was smart. (Come to think of it, I think this was actually an 8th grade field trip, I can't remember.)

Just discovered this today: I'm actually very easily overwhelmed that could trigger a meltdown when I wake up. I don't know for how long until that point passes, either. But this could also be explained with how I've reacted to certain alarm clocks (the ones with the bells just induce pure rage in me). Either I will be on the verge of a meltdown or I'll have a fucking headache all day. Normally, I just wanna drink my coffee and either read or practice a little on Duolingo.

I don't always have enough room for a lot of info in my head for things that I like, so I have to carefully narrow shit down. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what to do about my urge to get my hands on some monster movies while making sure nothing else I've retained info for wanes. Not sure if this is due to stress or what. But apparently I have designated compartments for certain categories in my brain. If I get into monster movies, continue to work on my knwoledge on ecology and paleontology, and gain more knowledge about arachnids, that shouldn't impede on the "language" category, so whatever I learn in Russian will remain safe.

Interest "Webs."

I have what I'd like to call an "interest web." My special interests in one thing can lead me to having an interest in another. I care about nature, and I also care about paleontology. Paleoecology is something I'd like to dip my toes into. But because this all involves nature, I have an interest in botany (though it's still intimidating so I'm sticking with local native trees) and arachnids (after conquering my fears and learning more about them). So the web stops at arachnids there (no pun intended).

Back to ecology and paleoecology...

I have a major interest in the Pleistocene because it was just before we humans started writing shit down. Hints of that era echoes within our current environment, from the pronghorn being "unnecessarily" fast (due to miracynonyx, the "American cheetah," which is now an extinct cat) to avocados not seeding like they should without human assistance as well as the yucca trees (Joshua trees) going into retreat thanks to the absence of giant ground sloths.

But the planet is warming, and we could use all the help from plants that we get, especially when it comes to making sure that permafrost stays frozen. So there's this "Pleistocene Park" project taking place in Russia, and one day, if I get into the field of paleontology, I may want to chat with those involved in that project, but one can't expect every other country to know English.

There's also FROZEN PLEISTOCENE MEGAFAUNA CARCASSES BEING FOUND IN PERMAFROST, too.

On top of all of this, Russia's northern lands will become habitable for humans if shit hits the fan and the planet's mostly fucked, so it's still nice to know the language.

See how all of these interests intertwine? (It also helps that since I am of Serbian heritage but can't find accessible resources to learn the language and I wanna know a Slavic language that Russian is kind of accessible. It also seems to be the only Slavic language "commonly" found in colleges when it comes to foreign language courses.) This is why I call them "interest webs." Not sure if other Autistic people have them, but it's something that I have.

The second one could simply involve Halloween, punk, goth, monsters, and teratophilia with Halloween being the gateway because my favorite color is orange.

Just thought this would be a fun thing to touch on real quick.

My Sensory Traits

I do experience some sensory traits, but they're not intense like some people would assume (unless I'm simply not noticing how intense they can be).

I can "smell" the summer heat, which was something I thought everybody else experienced but I'm wrong.

My retinas hurt in bright sunlight despite not looking anywhere near the sun, which I also thought everybody else experienced.

Drinks taste different or off in some way if they're not in a particular mug, glass, etc. that the drink is supposed to be in. (I have certain mugs that I enjoy my coffee in, but the other mugs? They taste off. I can't explain why. I have ONLY TWO acceptable little tumbler glasses for orange juice.)

Breakfast food does not taste like breakfast food unless it's on this one specific plate from my childhood.

Dinner can be iffy on certain plates, but the safest go-to is the knock-off blue willow plates.

Lunch is acceptable on anything, but if I'm having simply a sandwich, it must be on a small plate.

I have specific forks I'd prefer to use because of how they feel in my hand, how the food-part feels in my mouth, and how the fork itself tastes.

Gotta have cinnamon in my coffee. I just do. It's not coffee without it.

I cannot fucking handle hair snippets of any size for any reason on my body. This is why there is a rigid procedure to where my husband must buzz my hair over a paper-towel-covered sink (to avoid clogging the drain) while wearing a particular tanktop Harley Quinn night shirt, and then I must shower immediately afterwards. During the haircut, my skin itches like mad like I'm being poked by the hairs directly even in places where hair snippets have never, ever gone.

I'm overly sensitive to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes.

Also cannot brush teeth with cold water because it's so painful (this was LONG before I had dental issues and persists to this day). Even my tongue hurts from it.

I'm picky as fuck with candy. Trick-or-treating was sometimes difficult because all I cared about was either orange-flavored stuff, or chocolate. Only specific chocolates, too (Krackle, Mr. Goodbar, Crunch, Butterfinger, Reese's, that was it.) Skittles were okay, but a lot of the baggies I got had a LOT the red ones and the red ones suck. Can't stand the other candies. (But my tastes have changed since then, and I opt for European chocolate from Aldi's as they are far superior, especially Moser Roth's 70% dark chocolate and Choceur's coffee and cream chocolate.)

Speaking of candy, the Whopper's Robin's Eggs tasted better than regular Whoppers and I will never be able to explain why.

Despite loving orange flavored stuff, I have trust issues when I see an unlabeled orange candy because there's the dangerous chance it could be fucking peach flavored. *gag* (I like real peaches, but the artificial flavored ones suck balls.) Due to my dental situation, I cannot enjoy very much in a way of candy, and the only artificial orange flavoring I CAN enjoy is through Vitamin D gummies... And even then, EVEN THEN I have to worry about the fucking peach flavors if I have to go with a different brand because we can't get our hands on a bottle from Simple Truth.

Artificial cherry flavoring is death.

The ONLY flavored medicine that was acceptable to me was orange (of course) and those dissolving strips that were grape-flavored that they don't fucking make anymore because fuck me that's why. Everything else was peer-pressured to do shots kiddie edition.

The different colored coatings on M&M's taste different from one another and I cannot explain why. It's very subtle, hardly noticeable, BUT I CAN TELL.

Peanutbutter is fucking amazing.

The smell of peanutbutter is fucking not.

There are these frozen meals my husband gets for days he doesn't have energy to cook and one of them (all from the same brand) smells like fucking hell.

My husband's Nissan Cup Noodle ramen overpowers my incense despite what other household members say.

I love incense, especially dragonsblood, "coffee time," pumpkin spice, raven, and rain.

All of the autumn scents or scents associated with autumn are orgasmic to me.

The smell of artificial cherry is death.

I would love to have perfume or body spray of Play-Doh.

I can compare smells of some places to others, such as the library branch I frequent smells like my gradeschool, as do SOME of their books' pages, and when my husband and I walked through this hall-like tunnel-like storefront in downtown Pittsburgh, I said it smelled like my grandma's basement, and he thought the same, so we're in aggreeance that all grandma's basements smell the same. Except for my Baba and Deda's. Their basement smelled like they actually still enjoy life and had their shit together.

Speaking of gradeschool smells, my gradeschool had two directions of classrooms, one led towards the gym, but the hall off to the side was carpeted, had some nice colors, and held 2 kindergarten classes and 2 first grade classes. That section of the building had its distinctive smells. The other direction led to the office, the cafeteria, and the hall with the 2 classes of grades 2 through 5 plus the preschool and the art/music class was. The smell was different in all classes EXCEPT for the music/art class, and I never went to preschool so I wouldn't know what that smells like.

ALL PRINCIPLE OFFICES SMELL THE SAME. HOW.

I could smell when my husband accidentally put in cinnamon when he thought he grabbed paprika in a dish that I liked. He was terrified of telling me. That was a happy accident and it became a permanent ingredient. He was mortified and shocked that I could smell his whoopsie in my dinner he made me.

I can also smell the cinnamon they use in Little Caeser's pizza crust. Yes. They use cinnamon. But I was the only one to notice.

Honey is like peanutbutter: it tastes amazing. But holy shit fuck that smell.

Gas stations smell like death, sadness, and questioning life's choices.

No two people's car interiors smell alike.

I can smell when it will rain soon, especially if it's about to storm.

I'm the one who noticed that hairy white oldfield asters smell like cake batter.

Dominant yellow filling my entire vision can be sometimes painful.

I used to be able to "hear" the color yellow in my head so much I thought yellow actually made a noise. It was a particular shade of yellow, and it made this Playskool toy-like clicking bell ringing noise, but really obnoxiously, almost painfully. I don't know how to describe the shade other than "cloudy pastel lemon?" It looked like the fucking lemon-flavored medicine I had to take as a kid.

My parents tried mixing in this cherry flavored death medicine in with my orange soda thinking I wouldn't know the difference but I did, so I dumped it down the drain and opened a new can because that can of Big K orange was fucking ruined.

Orange is wonderful to my eyes. But it's a hard color for me to find when it comes to getting things in a particular color. My back-up colors are red, green, and purple.

The sunlight hurts my retinas, even when I'm not looking at the sky at all, but the pain intensity increases the further I look up on a sunny summer day. This has been like this since childhood. Prescriptive sunglasses shouldn't be fucking expensive and should be covered by healthcare insurance.

I have to try really FUCKING hard not to stare at someone's muscles in person because ugh... Good thing I rarely see anybody who's well-built. (No really, this isn't even really a sexual thing, I'm so fucking fascinated and once I realize "oh, so that particular muscle looks like that from that angle", I get a glimmer of hope that I MIGHT be able to draw something humanoid since I suck at drawing people.)

Orange trees as so pleasing to the eye, and these are much more socially acceptable to stare at, lest I'm in person and the property owner might think I'm plotting to steal some (luckily I've never been anywhere near a place that grows orange trees).

Neon lights are amazing and I want them to come the fuck back. I swear, stores were so much more enjoyable of an environment when they were common. Such lights improve my mood in a way I cannot describe. I'm no longer in a hurry to get home if I am in the presence of neon lights.

Sunny days during winter are painful because the sunlight reflects off the snow. I'm painfully blinded if I look outside or go anywhere.

I cannot handle the sight of someone having boogers/snot hanging from their nose, not the sight of someone vomiting, nor the sight of an syringe needle piercing flesh.

I cannot handle the sound of alarm clock bells. I have woken up in a rage and been in a bad mood I try so hard to suppress for a good portion of the day. If I hear an alarm clock bell now these days, I wanna take it and chuck it across the room regardless the time of day or if I'm already awake. It's not so bad if I hear it from a video. In person? That's starting a war with me.

Children crying or screaming (especially babies) are almost painful to me and triggers my fight-or-flight response.

The reason why I was the loudest mellophone player in marching band was to drown out hearing the fucking trumpets. And I did; I was louder than the trumpets. (I quit marching band my sophomore year but for different reasons.)

Much of the music from the 80s that gave it that sound that definitely said it's from the 80s is very pleasing to my ears.

I love punk music for its messages, lyrics, and energy, but goth always puts me into a headspace where I feel like I'm at home; I'm at peace and want to cuddle the monster under my bed.

However, some punk songs can hit deep or strong and live rent-free in my head, such as Anti-Flag's "Racist," Bikini Kill's "Rebel Girl," and Skarpretter's "Nazi Scum."

One particular artist's voice I cannot get over because his is the first voice of any kind that makes me wanna fan myself is Peter Steele of Type O Negative. My favorite song, however, is "All Hallow's Eve" because his voice, the subject, and the lyrical content.

I'm able to hear something off in the oscillating fan my husband likes to use before he notices it.

I'm the one who can hear coyotes at night (doesn't help my mom wants to blast westerns to drown out the world and I'm back here in my room away from that shit though).

I can hear the branches scraping against the house, gently making creepy noises before I realize what the fuck it is, BUT NOBODY ELSE HEARS IT.

I can recognize the call of a robin because we had so many at the house I grew up in, and nobody else in this family fucking noticed.

I tend to notice the sound of the rain over all the house noise first.

I don't like tight clothing, which is why I prefer bralettes because my tits hurt.

If I could, I'd go without the bra because the band can sometimes suddenly feel tighter than it actually is, but because I have large nipples, I kinda need that bra for a bit of protection.

Shorts can be tight around the crotch, hip joins, and lower belly region, and that's a big no-no for me.

I'd prefer baggy pants, honestly.

Can't have tight footwear. No.

The seam at the top of socks or tights hurt my pinky toes if the whole sock/tights shift that way.

I already covered the hair snippet thing so since this is the sense of touch, another body hair thing is I kinda don't wanna shave my pits anymore because they are extremely itchy when they grow back. HAVE to shave my crotch because if I don't it gets horribly itchy, and my thick, fast-growing hair weaves into underwear, gets caught in pads, etc.

Ah yes. Pads. I hate them, but they're far more acceptable than a tampon or a cup because I have vaginismus.

Certain fabric textures are itchy as hell. There's a black shirt I have whose collar and cuffs are gorgeous but I have to wear something underneath to avoid feeling itchy.

Winter is hell for me here in the midwest, as I am very susceptible to the cold to the point of pain, especially in my fingers and toes. I become very slow, too. I feel like I can't get warm enough most of the time.

Air conditioned places in the summer feel almost similar, so I don't always wear shorts if I'm expected to go into, say, a Walmart with my husband to pick up everything. I'll shiver.

(We're gonna get into TMI territory here.) Can't masturbate by hand unless I've got a nitrile glove on because my brain only focuses on what my fingers are touching more than what my cunt feels.

Can't have any sex with my husband without anything brighter than low-light because things can be visually distracting in the room, or lights can suddenly feel way too bright to me. (Halloween string lights or those LED rope lights with adjustable brightness features and colors are excellent for this situation.)

In Conclusion

This is all that I've figured out so far. None of this hit me at once as a realization when I figured out that I'm Autistic. This took a while to realize it, and the realizations were mostly at random times through examples of other people experiencing it on the internet or through me going, "Huh, is that an Autistic trait?"

There may be even more that I'm currently unaware of or have forgotten to type here.

I apologize for how extremely lengthy this was. This took all day to type because of having to get up and do other things that needed to be done. One of the reasons why I really wanted to type this is because it's much easier to organize this on a computer, and I am absolutely shit at organizing files on my computer.

Unfortunately, while my husband is wonderful in supporting me, my parents aren't exactly all that great at it. Especially my dad, who is either vaguely dismissive or outright "forgets" that I'm Autistic (he honestly just... doesn't care, and tries to make things convenient for him at the expense of others most of the time). My mom... I'm not real sure. There are times where she seems to remember and others where she doesn't. I'm honestly wondering if they don't like knowing that I'm Autistic because that means my brother would have been as his traits were far more obvious than mine.

I hope that whoever is questioning whether or not they're Autistic has found this helpful at least in the sense that it would point you in the right direction on where to go next, but I would highly recommend checking out online Autistic communities, as that's where I've discovered that I'm on the spectrum.

[neuromedical]

Week 18 of 39

Alright, so I’ve mentioned that paediatrics is very hard. But it’s also the best placement so far.

We were expecting more theory, as per usual, instead we got some actual work at the ward. Children freak  me out - at least the really young ones do so I tend to avoid working with them, but the diagnoses were really interesting. Well, there was also this one doctor who seemed to know dick diddly, but tried to look super smart in front of us. Three hours of our lives, wasted. When the consultant asked him anything, he couldn’t give her an answer so I guess he had to boost his ego on us somehow.

Other than that, I think I got into yet another existential crisis. I found a site about cardiac ICU medicine - which is half of what seems pretty attractive to me (cardiac anaesthesia + intensive care) and... everything there.... looked so................... difficult.................................................. God, I wish I chose a different specialty - and I don’t even know whether they accept graduates at the cardiac centre, yet. I need to ask. And if they say yes... then I’ll panic. Maybe. I love cardiology, there is just something... so logical and beautiful about the heart and the vessels. It’s also very, very complicated. And I’m still not sure if it’s suitable for a fresh graduate. I feel so clumsy all the time, I feel awkward and insecure and just... a lot of “I am graduating in 6 months” feelings 😅

And to be completely fair to myself, I think a small part of me wants to go there for the “prestige”. My med school journey has been tough and long and I think deep down I just want to prove to people that I can handle working at a place like that. And maybe I‘m just imagining incredibly bad, horror scenarios that are wildly improbable, who knows! (It’s very possible.)

On a non-medical note, I finally started reading a book! I finally got to Kith & Kin by Marieke Nijkamp, because of course I’m still desperately in love with the tragic goth twin duo. (This is my Storygraph in case anybody's on there. I don't use goodreads anymore, in this household we limit our Amazon exposure 😁) Hope you had a great week and will have an even better weekend! :)

[unboundwanderers]

                "That's because you proposed, Darling." He argued, crossing his arms as she examined the crudely filled out document. He backed up slightly and rested his hands on the back of his head. He laughed though, "I didn't think you had beyonce on your world, Yelan. Not a surprise." He slid his hands in his pockets and let out a long huff. He did have something wasting away in his pocket that he fiddled with softly- but he kept those thoughts hidden. They were in the middle of something, right now- some boring thing Ningguang was asking of Yelan. The Doctor just happened to be in the vicinity, so he got roped into it- often happened.

                He leaned inside the doorway to a balcony overlooking Liyue. It was fascinating how the Jade Palace worked. Even if it was a very basic form of geo-telemetric gravity manipulation. Make the rock light enough to float, but strong enough to support a structure. Not unlike The TARDIS and it's ability to control it's weight. He could feel the TARDIS, in his mind- parked out in the Jade Palace courtyard. What were they waiting for? More paperwork? He let out a huff, the item's weight in his pocket became heavier.

                "Let's go somewhere." He said after she "accepted" the document, "I'm bored. Let's go catch a midnight double feature, over-" He pointed up at the star, in some random direction. "On that starbase- in the fifty first century." He looked back at her, "Or go watch robotic duplicates of the universe's greatest artists live paint in the sixty-seventh century." He leamed his head back- looking at the ceiling while trying to look at her from the direction he was facing.

@unboundtravels asked :

your name: The Doctor your age: N/A your perfect date: Surely she knows how perfect my dates are. I've never had an imperfect date. Ask her. make out in private or in public?: We've already done this. Several times. do you like to cuddle?: No Complex feelings. tell me something about you: I'm the only one you'd want on a date. why do you want to be my valentine?: I'm your husband.

A VALENTINE’S APPLICATION. || accepting

─「夜兰」─  there was something rather amusing about reading this so-called APPLICATION for the upcoming valentine's, as one would call it. the informant herself usually didn't pay much attention to something so trivial, nor had she ever indulged in the occasion saved for a few dates here and there. a smile donned her lips, even etching deeper at the make out part. he wasn't wrong, they had done so several times, even more than simple kisses, but those weren't needed to be said.

                " since when are you my husband, doctor ? i don't recall you ever proposing. " a clear hint of mirth in her voice where she tilted her head to the side, though the fact that she wasn't opposing anything else he had written spoke enough of their relationship despite no verbal admittance was made. " have you ever heard of a phrase if you like it, put a ring on it ? " that statement was going to come bite back at her later, she was sure. after all, the liyuan spy was not the type to settle down. arms crossed over her chest, and a sweeter grin was flashed in his direction.

                " accepted. "

[yanderepuck]

I want to tell you guys a story about my ED.

I was fairly small all through school and college. I have an hourglass figure, which don't get me wrong I love it. Wide hips, small waist, large chest. And I mean large. At 14 I was a D cup, and by 18 when I graduated I was a DDD. But the rest of my body stayed the same. My measurements were roughly 44-32-44 (bust-waist-hip; inches).

Amazing hourglass figure honestly. But I still wasn't considered attractive. I wasn't the "cute by crazy" girl. Just crazy (because I like anime and sorta dressed goth). It didn't necessarily bother me. But I think in the long run it's affected me. I've never been. Considered attractive. I was 5'2" and about 135 lbs with those measurements, maybe slightly smaller.

And because all my friends are around me getting into relationships or have guys interested in them I sorta thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was fat. Doctors told me to lose weight at 14.

Now I had no clue what anorexia was or eating disorders. It's 2012 mind you. But due to my daily schedule I was able to get away with eating maybe once a day. I didn't eat breakfast, never did. I'd eat lunch at school bc I packed a lunch, and a good amount of time I didn't eat dinner unless if my mom made something I loved. So for 4-5 years all I was eating was my lunch around 11am every day.

I never thought much of it until summers would come and I would go 3 days without eating. The 4th day I ate a sandwich, and then the cycle continued. I still barely thought of it.

Went to college in 2016 and that's when I sorta started to realize what I was doing. It's not that I didn't eat to feel skinny or anything, I just never felt hungry. But I slowly started to eat more. I went to an art school. We're all weirdos, but still no one ever had an interest in me, and I'm still trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I started being more feminine. Wearing more fitted clothing. Got into make up.

Slowly started to eat more too. No issues. Then I started to realize that I thought food was a waste. I ate it because I had to, and now I'm actually starting to enjoy it. But in 2017 I'm finally convinced to start taking medication for my anxiety and depression. Try different combinations of medications until something works. End up in the hospital in 2019. Get put on new medications and I take them. That's that.

It's now summer of 2021. I'm trying to go out with friends and none of my summer clothes fit. Nothing about my daily life has changed. I work a desk job now so I'm not moving around as much, but I'm still moving and lifting stuff in the warehouse a lot. But what happened? In not even 2 years my medication caused me to go from 135 lbs to 205lbs. My measurements are now 48-46-48 roughly. I have such a gut that so much of what I have doesn't fit. I'm a 38H in my bra size.

Before I realized it was my medication doing this I went to the gym everyday for two months. I damn well know there's no improvement after a week or two, not for someone like me who is still fairly small. Two months of working out, lifting weights running for an hour everyday? 0 improvement. The only thing that happened was that I maintained the same weight rather than increasing it.

After that I lost motivation. How tf am I going to lose enough weight to feel comfortable with myself if even after 2 months nothing happened. So I stopped the dedication of going that often.

Then I got the idea that it was my medication and I went off of it. I went off of it, I started making sure I ate less, I was making myself throw up. By that time though I didn't really go to the gym. I lost hope that even though i took out the factor that was making me gain weight.

February 2022. I'm in Europe. I'm walking everyday but still only eating one meal a day. One meal around 3 pm and I'm good until the next day. A month and a half of that and I lost 10 lbs. Yes all that walking helped but the quality of food does too.

It's now May 2022 and after losing those 10 lbs I feel a little more hopeful that I actually can lose weight and be comfortable with myself finally. My issue now? Finding the time to work out. Finding the motivation to tell myself to do it.

I work 9-7 doing alterations. I'm sitting most of the day. But it's a consistent schedule I can work with that. Oh but I don't pass any cheap gyms on my way to work.

Getting up early to do it at home? I don't have the self discipline anymore to do that, but I'm going to try.

I'm okay with my thighs being as big as they are, I'm okay if I don't lose all the weight in my arms, or even getting my waist back down to 32(tho 34, would be nice) I'm mainly worried about this goddamn belly pouch.

I KNOW. It'll never be flat. That's not what I'm wanting. I have realistic expectations. Half the size it is now would be great. Losing weight in my face would be great.

Rather than going into exercising full and doing the most, I'm starting out small. Do one thing consistently before adding something else to it.

I don't eat while I'm at work. Maybe I have a waffle before I leave, but in reality I only eat between the hours of 7:30pm and whenever the hell I fall asleep. I drink a lot of water and tea.

I just want to feel good about myself for once in my damn life

[unboundwanderers]

THE TARDIS HEADCANONS. STORED UNDER THE READ MORE.

The TARDIS as she appeared throughout each incarnation. This Post acts as a reference point to show off every design used by the respective DOCTOR, including Police Box and Console Room design. Stored under the read more to not clutter dash.

All TARDIS MODELS and CONSOLE ROOM MODELS belong to their owners and were sourced and displayed using Garry's Mod addons.

To the mutuals, I tag in this post. I may reference some of what we've plotted on Discord. Please let me know if you want me to remove the headcanons that reference your muse.

THE SCARF DOCTOR'S TARDIS

The Scarf Doctor's tardis is based on the model used and debuted in the Season 10 episode "The Three Doctors". In this timeline, The Scarf Doctor has an expansive labyrinth connected to the console room. He will maintain this Console room for a long time. Its most notable rooms belong to its Companions, who visited frequently and who The Doctor had to entertain for long periods of time.

@primewitch-- During her stay in The TARDIS, she requested a recreation of her home in Mondstadt. Lisa's abode was very complex to a spell she used that allowed her to make her room two stories high, and virtually- it was bigger on the inside. However, this was not difficult to replicate- as The TARDIS is an infinitely generating space- meaning The TARDIS was able to accurately recreate the room precisely as she left it.

@lunaetis' Dehya, on the other hand- was given a custom room based on randomly generated keywords, while THE TARDIS also scanned Dehya's culture and memories of home. Her room is entirely unique, but unlike Lisa's- it wasn't a whole house. It was a singular bedroom. A large one, but a bedroom nonetheless.

@kemikorosu's Lumine had the smallest room out of all of them. Not for any particular reason, but mainly because she only spent a month or two with Scarf before The Time War started. By the time it broke out, she would barely be able to sleep aboard The TARDIS, so its size was only as small as it was for the sake of conserving power.

THE WAR DOCTOR'S TARDIS.

The War Doctor's TARDIS reorganized itself into a battleship. Characteristics that were present in this TARDIS would carry over to The Looney Doctor's tardis, but it was mainly a transitional unit. The Console used is the most organic and easily modifiable version- meaning The WAR Doctor could more easily make adjustments to it at any time needed.

The WAR DOCTOR had no additional rooms during his tenure as The Doctor. He needed all the additional power for shields and speed, as well as temporal transistor units used to breach Dalek Shields. Communication systems and anti-hook devices were boosted due to a lack of architecture or generated rooms, and the boosted power stopped The TARDIS from being.

@kemikorosu's Lumine shared the same room as @lunaetis's Lumine, and when the two were briefly brought together during The Middle of The Time War and were allowed to travel with The War Doctor simultaneously, they simply slept in the same room.

THE GOTH DOCTOR'S TARDIS

The Goth Doctor's TARDIS is arguably the biggest console room. Littered with blackboards, bookshelves, and desks with different unfinished inventions- This TARDIS actually stands on a platform. Underneath the main console floor, descending the staircase- allowed for Companions and Passengers to deposit items in storage bays, as well as allowed The Doctor to directly access the Tardis Console Internals- the guts of the ship.

With the LAST GREAT TIME WAR over and done with, the TARDIS could finally start generating rooms again. Expansive corridors lead to libraries, a swimming pool, expansive Victorian-style bedrooms, and closets. This TARDIS also had a ship's galley, which was an expansive area with an alcohol bar, a stocked fridge, and radio players and TVs.

The Exterior of The TARDIS was the only thing carried over from The WAR DOCTOR and presented itself as a polished and cleaned-up version of it. The lettering, the door sign, and the windows are all illuminated, glowing a snow-white bright. The Lantern, when dematerializing, flashed a pale gold.

THE LOONEY DOCTOR'S TARDIS.

THE LOONEY DOCTOR'S TARDIS WOULD HAVE SIGNIFICANT LIGHTING CHANGES THROUGHOUT ITS COURSE OF USE. @lunaetis's Eula's first few months aboard The TARDIS would be represented in a faded, cooler color- and a darker interior. Sooner, The Console room would change into a brighter, evened-out tone. It would remain this way until Eula died but would become as bright as The gif pictured above when @gunnhildred's Jean started traveling with The Doctor. It would become the brightest it ever had while The Doctor traveled with the Acting Grandmaster. It would remain as bright as the final linked gif, the lighting used while @vonerde's Gaia traveled aboard. The look the Console room had when Gaia traveled with Looney would be the last it'd look prior to The Doctor's regeneration.

By no means did the TARDIS hate @vonerde. If anything, she ADORED Gaia, but she was always frustrated at Gaia's tracks she'd leave in. So much so that The TARDIS would PURPOSELY and sometimes SUBTLY reorganize Gaia's Garden, throwing off its placement and causing the Goddess minor confusion. The TARDIS made it abundantly clear that this was because of the mud tracks and leaves she left aboard when she dropped garbage bags full of Gaia's leaves on her, however. The TARDIS would usually lighten up her teasing of Gaia when the Passenger painted her exterior.

THE PINK DOCTOR'S TARDIS.

There's not much to say about Pink's TARDIS other than that it is meticulously organized. The most intriguing room it had was the one The TARDIS made for @maquiscursed's Kazuha when the Ronin joined the crew. For Kazuha, The TARDIS actually produced a room that was exclusively a simulated version of The Crux, with the sounds of the waves and the smell of the wind as authentically recreated as possible. It also had zero room energy to help with meditation.

THE TARDIS did not dislike @lunaetis's Hu Tao, but it found her off-putting, and as such- did not IMMEDIATELY generate Hu Tao a bedroom when she began traveling with The Doctor. It only generated her one when Hu Tao began complimenting The TARDIS and giving the console head pats at the behest of Pink, who advised that maybe the TARDIS needed physical reassurance once in a while.

The TARDIS would give @kemikorosu's Lumine a proper bedroom when she began traveling with The Pink Doctor once again. Her room was an authentic recreation of the home she lived in when she returned to Teyvat after the war, scattered with mementos of her travels and of her experiences across the universe.