#a shit friend to our other roommate
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coming to terms with the fact that i am not a forgiving person ❤️
#i didnt think i held grudges because i do preach about communication and not being afraid of confrontation and forgiveness#but fr i am so quick to cut a motherfucker off like it gives me joy. if you piss me off one too many times#i literally dont want to be friends anymore yknow like youre dead to me lololol and ive emotionally cut off my male roommate and its funny#bc im realizing i hold a major grudge and even when he does nice things for to or with me i still will never like him again bc hes messy and#a shit friend to our other roommate#im crazy#also im a taurus moon and ive always heard that taurus placements hold grudges and i was always like hm idk ig but now im like oh shit
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I’ve mostly been thinking about this in the context of an AU I created, but I’ve been thinking a lot about Toki’s transition out of his parents’ home and into the real world.
I imagine he left before he was 18 and had to support himself entirely from before that in order to get himself out. And like idk I’m just thinking about the moment when he finally moves out and he’s sitting on a bed that he bought that’s in a room he can call his own, and like he thinks he’s going to be instantly happy and that everything will be perfect, but then he has to reckon with the fact that it isn’t, and now he has to deal with grieving his old life and trying to fit in to a new life he doesn’t really understand and keep himself afloat.
#metalocalypse#toki wartooth#idk I’m just. projecting I guess.#thinking abt when I moved out and like once everyone left and I was just alone in my room I had this moment of like.#this is my life now and I have left everything I knew behind.#idk those first two years were a rough fucking transition#and like I feel it now#and it’s weird because it’s been nearly two years but like I got this sudden wave of grief for the first place I lived when I moved out#there were a lot of issues and my landlord/roommate did not treat me well#but also she took in a fucking 16 year old trans kid she barely knew#and like she dealt with my family harassing us and stalking and threatening her family#and put up with me through like all my really serious emotional and mental issues#and like idk I’m feeling a little nostalgic#bc that house was also like where I got to invite my friends over for the first time#it was where I hosted my first parties and made my first zines#and had my first trainwreck of a relationship#and like some shit went on that made our relationship unsalvageable#and I love my roommates now and we make a conscious effort to treat each other well and communicate and mitigate issues#but like idk I just wished we hadn’t ended on such bad terms
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Y'ALL WHAT THE FUCK.
MY ROOMMATE HAD SOMEONE OVER FOR THE NIGHT AND SHE LET THEM SLEEP IN MY BED WITHOUT ASKING ME FIRST??? EVEN THOUGH WE EXPLICITLY AGREED THAT WE WOULD ASK EACH OTHER FIRST BEFORE EVER HAVING SOMEONE OVER??? AND IN MY BED???? HELLO?????
this is such a massive boundary for me and i'm so upset. she knew i was gone this weekend because i have to work (when i work i'm out in the city so i just stay there for the night instead of dealing with the commute to/from college) or else i can't afford to yknow exist as a human being under capitalism but like. that's so fucked. she literally knew that i wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING about it bc i'm out of town for the weekend and she took advantage of that.
and she pretended that we never discussed having someone over she tried to play the "oh i'm sorry we just never talked about it before" card and i'm like. we literally DID talk about it. it was in the roommate contract that the college MADE US FILL OUT TOGETHER and we both agreed we would have to ASK each other and COMMUNICATE before anything like that happened.
the thing is i'm just a very personal type of person and this is a massive boundary she just crossed for me. and she was already really upsetting me bc she's been belittling me all the time and she's not respectful of my work and i woke up a couple times to her watching me sleep and she's been staring at me while i change and she doesn't listen when i tell her no, ever, and i'm very, very upset about this all. this is the last straw.
#vent#i texted my RA about it because i'm so done but there's also a housing shortage on campus#and bc my roommate never fucking leaves me alone - like she literally follows me around places and tracks me down if i try to avoid her -#our friend groups are kinda overlapping now which makes things very very complicated#and i was putting up with all the other random shit but when i found out she let a stranger sleep in my bed ON MY SHEETS WITH MY PILLOWS i#just needed to cry. i NEED to cry. this is a massive thing for me and i just can't forgive her for this.
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I’m always so fascinated by people’s bad roommate stories. I’m not sure I’ll ever live with someone I haven’t vetted extensively beforehand ever again
#every living situation where i’ve been assigned roommates randomly; i always seem to get one person who is an absolute angel#and 1-2 people who are honestly fucked up#i lived in halls 1 year of undergrad and everyone was kind of equally insane. honestly no one stood out as particularly bad#because everyone was just constantly screaming. i dealt with it by going home most weekends and getting noise cancelling headphones#3rd year of undergrad i lived in a suite which.. honestly was basically an apartment. had a living room/kitchenette; a toilet; a shower room#and 4 bedrooms#one of my roommates i’m still friends with to this day but honestly they were and are kind of a ridiculous person#like they were actively dealing drugs most of the year and their boyfriend was around most of the time and they would bone LOUDLY#and that’s the good roommate. so you can imagine the other two#one of the others.. honestly wasn’t a bad roommate; she was helpful and clean and civil#she was loud as hell though. she used to have attacks of insomnia and decide to rearrange her furniture at 3 in the morning#and we shared a wall. she also had an illegal pet rabbit.#our personalities just didn’t mesh well; like it became clear pretty fast that we were going to spend as little time together as possible#third roommate was loud; rude; annoying and gross. she’d be calling people at 7am just to yell down the phone to them about her problems#i was like who is picking up the phone to this bitch. she also picked up on my homosexual vibes in that way that homophobic straight girls#always seem to have; and was convinced i had a crush on her. and she bought a betta fish (allowed according to dorm rules) and then it died#because she didn’t want to take care of it properly. and she refused to do anything for herself#like she was always breaking shit and leaving it because she didn’t want to email or call maintenance. so then i’d have to do it#because it was always something we specifically shared. like a set of shelves she put a fucking 5lb shampoo bottle on. twice.#in grad school it was almost the same thing. one angel roommate who was kind of messy but otherwise fantastic#she rolled the best joints i have ever seen. and i still miss her cat cali#it was the men that were the problem. one was an international student who left after a month and bothered nobody#like to the point i didn’t notice when he moved out because he was so innocuous#the other two though….. so one of them started hooking up with my favourite roommate and immediately became SUPER annoying#the other one stole shit; left lights on all the time; left fridge and cupboard and freezer doors open; tried to guilt trip me#into giving him my weed; played mariah carey at 2am; never bought a single cleaning product or household item for the collective#unless you told him to…… he was even using my toothpaste at one point. like. sir.#oh and he was always dirtying other people’s dishes and cookware and leaving them in the sink for days. and leaving big chunks of food#in the sink. it was fucking gross#personal
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somehow these current roommates we have are the worst that ive known yet and last semester we literally had a girl who smoked cigs IN her bedroom. list of grievances below lol
#first of all they turn all the lights on all the time. the other day i was hanging out in the living room w one light on bc it was light#enough outside thru the windows and one of them walked in and flipped another light on automatically. then walked through#the living room right to her bedroom... girl youre not even using this room and i was clearly fine with the light level??#they always have all 3 kitchen lights on when they cook and dont turn them off plus none of them have lamps#they all use the Big LED Ceiling Light in their bedrooms which is baffling to us#they dont know how to organize the kitchen and they took up so many of the cabinets with bullshit. like 3 pans here a few plates there#we have like 4 cabinets worth of food and even more of pots and pans and shit bc this is everything we own#and we cant afford to use disposable everything like some of them do#theyre always leaving the fridge open while they cook too and i have to physically hold myself back from becoming my mom#and yelling at them to close the fridge when theyre not actively getting smth out of it!! like theyll stand there cooking and have it open#for 2 minutes straight#theres only room for one water filter pitcher in the fridge and one of them brought a big one which is nice but theyre always forgetting to#refill it which defeats the purpose of even having it#and they always somehow start cooking right when we decide we need to eat#one of them sent this long sort of condescending post abt ants and how it stresses him out when the kitchen is messy so we all need to clean#more and try harder to keep ants away as if 1) ants care at all abt dishes in the sink or stains on the stove and 2) as if the ants will#stop coming around if theres no food out in this building where there are notoriously always ants even on the 4th floor#(we are ground floor this time) and 3) as if he isn't one of the people leaving food around and not taking the trash out#nobody responded to it in the groupchat lmao bc he sounds like a fucking cop!! and is dating an rotc guy??? and also is a streamer or just#likes to play games on vc with friends bc hes always very loudly doing that#but obviously we have sex all the time so we're at a sort of loud noise stalemate where neither of us can complain abt the other#to be clear this is in no way the absolute worst situation theyre nice enough people and havent reported us for anything (they both work for#student housing -_-) and generally things go okay in the apartment#but like. ive never been this annoyed this often with any other roommates#ALSO someone spilled soy sauce all over our designated level of the fridge door where we had all our little bottles of stuff#but also a carton a Paper Carton of milk and a pack of butter standing upright which soaked up the soy sauce and for several days#even after id cleaned the bottom of the carton the best i could i swore it tasted like soy sauce from it soaking into the bottom or smth#but it's still all over everything in there bc it was so much it like. pooled in there and splattered on everything#like. u see that happen u clean it up wtf.??#anyway i just felt like i needed to complain and see if im being silly or if these things really are so annoying
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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I’ve come to the conclusion no one should dorm with someone whose name ends in ‘ace’
#like okay#my roommate is named ace and they been absolutely Horrific for the past TWO YEARS#they’re getting ghosted the second I move out on Friday (unfortunately they’re staying here all week so I have to Actually deal with them)#but there’s. too much to unpack there for the tags#my bestie is rooming with a Grace and she’s also soft blocking her as soon as she moves out#cause apparently Grace comes back to the dorm at godawful hours of the night WITH OTHERS and ends up waking my friend up every time#additionally she talks shit about my friend like 24/7 for like. her fashion taste? and the fact she tells thing like she sees it?#like one of the things is Grace is pissed that my friend told her ‘hey getting blackout drunk every night ain’t good maybe. stop’#AND my little sister was rooming with a DIFFERENT Grace#and she was bad enough my little sister had to MOVE OUT HALFWAY THROUGH HER FIRST SEMESTER#Again a little too much to unpack there for tags but. use your imagination ig#and all three of them break almost Every dorm rule but none of us can report them for it#cause like. the rule for if alcohol is found in your dorm is EVERYONE goes down for it#and in my sister and I’d cases our roommates started smoking in the room (Ace was weed Grace was vape)#but my sister and I are both. super sensitive to that stuff?#like for me smoke and the smell of that is a migraine trigger that will end with me in the er#and ace knew this. and still smoked ON MY COUCH. AND THEN LIED TO MY FACE ABOUT IT. AND DID IT REPEATEDLY.#they didn’t even wash anything on the couch to get the smell out but considering they fucked on the blankets on it and then just. left them#for me to deal with I’m not suprised. at all#meanwhile my sister has really bad asthma and can’t have people vape around her or she starts having an asthma attack#but the rules in our dorms for that are the same as alcohol and neither of us wanna risk going down for it#my sister lucked out on having others she could move in with but all of my friends had roommates that weren’t going anywhere#so I’ve been stuck with ace the whole time#but still!!#anyways I’m sure most -ace names are lovely people but it’s an interesting trend I’ve noticed#Friday cannot come soon enough I stg
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hii how have you been?
i miss my family 🧍♀️
#my mom sent me a video about once your child leaves the mom also needs them#to like be there for them when their mom is stressed when their mom misses them#and i cried for a bit bc i argued with my mom a lot#we didnt see eye to eye but i really do think my mom still thinks of me as her little girl#bc despite not being as close i am to my mom compared to my dad i felt like i had so much burdens for being the eldest and girl#so sometimes i would get upset that my brother would get some special treatment from my mom#idk now i just rlly miss her cuz i miss actly waking up to have brekkie w her#i rlly missed cooking w her b4 i didnt like it bc i thought it was bothersome but now i miss it a lot and her cooking !!!#one of my roommates are husband and wife and i helped cut up the onions and garlic for her bc she started crying from the onions#and then i just completely rmbrd how many times my mom would ask me to help her cook and it makes me miss jmy family !!#i dont rlly get homesick often but i have been in a few arguments w my husband but its like those small quarrels where we're both#tired stressed n feeling defeated like there was no wrong but mentally tapped out#i feel hella lonely tbh ion have many friends outside from me talking to my roommates or my coworkers#and i go once a month to my friends thats an hour and half away but i never mind the travel bc their family treats me well#im supposed to go today but our plans got cancelled and since the travel is far i usually sleepover we were gonna watch a movie !!#we were gonna go watch the mario movie but i might go by myself w my teddy bear#or i'll ask my coworker maybe#but yeah other than that im just trying to survive xoxo im so tired#im also getting so much free cosmetics skincare and fragrances at work that i cant even use all of it#tha shit is displayed on my shelves just cuz#but so excited for my smau heheheheh#༊*·˚ koca has heard your wish#༊*·˚ a kiss of blessing#༊*·˚ a wish upon a goddess#༊*·˚ freddie <3
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Ohh no.
#ignore#clownery ahead#i may be fucked. this concert and this whole trip has like solidified my feelings for my best friend.#like before they were like there and i knew and it was def growing bc of living together and stuff#but i was getting on top of it and being careful and smart about it. ive done it before and everything#but man this whole thing. the way we've interacted#its a level of comfortability we havent really done before.#idfk why maybe bc of like natural progression of friendship idk#i wrapped my arm around her shoulder more today than i probably have in my whole life#we were so touchy at the concert bc yknow we're having fun dancing and singing and stuff. sitting close to each other#but the way my insides go crazy at every touch. whether its her touching my arm with the back of her hand to get my attention and resting#it there for a moment. or the hug we had after the concert that was so fucking strong bc we were both emotional.#i go wild inside im like a fool. all butterflies and warmth and that shit#thats not good to feel about my best friend and roommate 😐 and i know and i gotta work on it and find some solution.#but bro if we keep being this touchy. like if this is just how our friendship is now.#it will be the best and worst thing to happen. because it feels amazing but it will never progress further and god do i want it to#and i gotta stop being jealous abt every dumb guy. its bc of insecurity and i know it. i instantly compare myself in the most painful way#every time she talks abt her crush it hurts so much and i gotta stop myself from thinking those thoughts or lamenting that she will never#talk that way about me or feel that way about me#fuck this is gonna be a rough one#but i am still choosing to not let that tarnish the amazing time i had seeing taylor swift. she was the first artist i ever wanted to see#in concert bc she was like the first artist i ever became a fan of as a lil 6 year old#and i finally got to see her and it was incredible and i wish it had never ended#(and it wouldnt have been as amazing as it was if she hadnt come with me)
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i am now realizing that living in the midwest has it's perks
#im browsing apartments just outta curiosity rn because ive been thinking about my future and all that#ive got a friend and we're thinking about becoming roommates and getting an apartment together until we get our shit figured out as -#- Official Adults™ so im just figuring out what you should be looking for in an apartment#rent is surprisingly low compared to a lot of other capital cities so im happy about that#there's a nice loft apartment that's $1400 for a two bed apartment. which is still expensive but its a lot less than most places rn#plus its got plenty of amenities#utilities included. in-unit washer/dryer. lots of community areas. well maintained. bike storage and repair station. well maintained.#its on the outskirts of downtown too so its still super close to everything that has to offer but its not crazy loud#the only major downside on first glance is that it looks like sound carries REALLY well through the rooms which.... is an issue#i need privacy man :'))#it looks really cool though#they have a community spot where local musicians perform on friday nights and according to the reviews the building owners are really nice#idk if there will still be spots there when we decide to move in together but it looks like a solid option#we'd be splitting the rent 50/50 so it'll make things more manageable price-wise
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enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to
#The Ellie Badge#find them on bandcamp#he's the husband of my old roommate's best friend from college which is how I found the band#and it became one of my all time favorites#sort of garage band emo rock. very raw lyrics that I just love#I love the sound I love his style of writing I love everything about them they are Not well known. listen to the Ellie Badge#they have songs on youtube but the algorithm has to be shaken and yelled at extensively to get it to show them to you bc small band#that shares a name with disney song#excellent writing about grief. see: Only One (everywhere I go I feel my dead parent watching me from heaven and the guilt is killing me)#Hospital Song (your death made me a better person in the end but I'd rather be a total piece of shit and still have you alive)#Looking For You (our pets are waiting for you to come home and I can't explain to them that you're gone) (this was the first song I heard)#Heat Death (you're dead our hometown is dead everyone I know is moving away. the restaurants are shutting down. everything is ending)#This artist is the most lovely vibrant and wonderful and positive person to be around irl!! He puts all the angst in his music I guess!!!!#love him#other favorites: Godspeed Little Brothers#Bones (incredible breakup song for God)#Blood (goes with Bones. “I know that I've been everything from skin and bones to gasoline but nothing ever mattered like this did”)#811#The Shakes (has made me cry)#IS THIS THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN IS THERE NO PRAYER OR MEDICINE THAT CAN SPLIT THIS MOBIUS STRIP TEAR APART ALL OF THIS BULLSHIT#CAUSE EVERY DAY THE RICH GET RICHER WHILE WE KILL OURSELVES ON BLOOD AND LIQUOR#Everything I do I do it for you gonna leave you in a world where the oceans are blue#ok starting to cry I think that's enough song recs
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I forgot to update y'all on an important band shenanigans development. Theres a fucking mouse in my library
#read: MY band library. im the head librarian!!!!!!!!!!!#hes actually been in there for like a week#at first i was horrified. bc i was afraid he would like. eat through the music and shit#but at this point ive accepted him as my weird roommate. his name is ratthew. rattew my good friend ratthew#so. the most recent development on ratthew was yesterday. when he was spotted again#and a few of the guys stayed holed up in the library trying to catch him#yknow who also stayed holed up in a room? our band director. in his office. he is very afraid of the mouse (ratthew)#and it is very fun to make fun of him for that#apparently at one point this sophomore trumpet guy was holding a cup#up to the hole they found where ratthew lives. and ratthew fell into it#but the guy was on his phone so ratthew escaped once again.#very in character for this guy. he has gaslit (/lh) me multiple times#amongst other things that i should not get into here#cherry chortles#uhhhhh#cherrys band shenanigans#yeah there we go
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can someone please tell me why a large chunk of my loved ones are suicidal with substance abuse issues 🫠
#this is me being selfish#which is why I’m posting it here as a vent and not telling it to them#bc obviously it’s harder for them than it is for me#but my god#half my fuckinf family#including one of the most important members to me#my old roommate and close friend#my current best friend#friends in high school#i hate this shit#i hate second guessing our interactions and if they were high then#i hate when they keep secrets from me#i hate being blindsided by it#i hate not knowing what to do#i hate feeling powerless#i hate being scared that they’re gonna kill themselves and I’ll so alone#i hate staying up at night wondering if they’re gonna off themselves#i have enough of my own mental health issues i don’t know how to fuckinf help someone else#GOD and my other roommate who was such a danger to herself and others that we had to switch rooms and report her and she went home#and blocked me on everything after I told her mom that she was suicidal and i was scared for her#AKSKQOIWIWJWJSHWHHWHWGS HWGAHEHEHEHWHGSGSGSHAGAGSHHWHWHWHWI ISISUUJJ$/$2$2$2$2)2)2)2)3)717:737/7$$€.€€|€|€#the worst part is that i wanna talk about it WITH HIM but it’s ABOJT HIM#so I texted my sister but my sister has a literal infant to take care of#my mom won’t be understanding#i don’t know my current roommate that well#and all our other friends are mutual or I’m not that close with#i might reach out to old roommate bc they went through something similar to current bestie#cousin also#anyway I’m currently having the anger selfish reaction#which is good I need to have that
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i think i'm falling apart entirely which is really stupid But i can't get myself to submit this stupid fucking form. and i cant look my best friend in the eyes. and i still am trying to plan this trip with the person i used to have a crush on but dont feel much of anything for anymore. and therapy is a week from now and i just want to do something fun but i havent done anything fun in a while. So i guess im losing my mind and fracturing. its so fucking cold in my room
#honestly i just need to see this ex crush in person Bc we saw each other for maybe 2 seconds yesterday#and then they texted me and i texted back and i sent them another text just now#and like they have said nice things to me but like. Its so. i dont know#and like i think most of all i just want to be able to interact normally w my best friend#before i got high and started calling him my best friend#bc now i cant tell what the fuck our dynamic is supposed to be like Like#ppl thought we were dating which is insane and also really funny but like clearly we're really close#and clearly he cares but is that not like so fucking scary#i didnt want to be the emotional mess i was but like i was and now i feel like i dont know what to say#people saw me as i am. and i have to live w that. and i still have so much to do#andim scared to tell ppl that im having this response Bc they know i had a bad high for part of it.#and they know i see it as a success but they like KNOW osmehting happened i basically explained it#like mentioned my psychosis and shit like bc i had to right#but i dont want to tell my roommates im feeling this way. Bc then they will want me to not do it again#and like maybe thats a good idea. i just dont want them to be upset w my friends though#neg
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yesterday afternoon - after an unsuccessful coffee shop date - you’d decided that dating sucked. it was much too awkward and formal and not at all like it was in the movies, putting too much pressure on the people involved.
last night - after watching shoko flirt her way into free drinks - you’d been tipsy enough to take her advice.
casual sex! it doesn't have to be with a stranger, just pick someone you know. someone you’re sure you won't fall in love with.
this morning you’d woken up to find gojo laying in bed next to you.
you lay shoulder to shoulder with the one person you should not have picked, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for the other person to speak.
“did we really–”
“three times,” satoru confirms happily, rolling onto his side to grin down at you. “i'm surprised we didn't do this sooner, really. our sexual tension has always been off the charts.”
when he leans in to kiss you, his lips meet your palm as your expression wrinkles. “don’t get familiar.”
“we’re naked together in bed– we slept together in more than the literal sense. can’t get more familiar than that.”
“and this never happen again,” you promise, refusing to look at him.
“why? because you’re afraid you’ll fall in love with me? it’s okay to admit it. i'm extremely lovable.”
you’ve seen the way girls fawn over him. how they swoon over his pretty eyes and confident smile. he’s satoru gojo. a legend amongst jujutsu society. you’re no one in comparison, not a user of an otherworldly cursed technique, not from a major clan.
people like him don’t fall for people like you. you’re afraid of rejection, afraid of being hurt.
“we’re friends,” you tell him honestly. “i don’t want to risk ruining our friendship over something like this.”
he tilts his head as your look at him. “shoko told you to try casual sex, didn't she? why not with me?”
“she told you?” you groan, dragging a hand down your face and making a mental note to never ask your roommate for advice for anything ever again.
“hey, look at me,” he urges, grasping your hand. you do as he says, meeting his earnest gaze. “i can be casual and chill, it’s not like i have a huge crush on you or anything.”
it’s so hard to say no to him. you really wish you could.
“i’ll think about it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes when he fist pumps. “but you need to go home before shoko sees you.”
but you’re dealing with satoru gojo, who almost never does what he’s told. “you’re not getting rid of me that easily. come here.”
he winds an arm around you, pulli my you in so you’re snug against his chest. explicit memories of last night flash through your mind, sending heat through your veins.
“i can’t.” you tell him (though you’re mostly reminding yourself.) this is insane— satoru, what are you—”
you’re cut off when he shushes you, whispering let’s sleep in for a little while longer.
he starts to drift off again as you struggle to escape his grasp, but your efforts are futile. even on the throes of sleep, satoru is stronger than you.
so you give up, resigning yourself to a few more minutes of…cuddling. shoko isn’t a morning person anyways.
after a minute, you find it's not entirely awful. it’s a purely physical reaction. gojo is good looking, even with his hair mussed with sleep and his mouth hanging open. because you know that under the softness of his skin lays defined muscle, and spending the morning in his nicely toned arms isn’t the worst thing in the world.
(it’s purely physical, is what your head tries to convince your heart, which is beating a little faster than usual.)
a very soft, content sigh slips past your lips.
then, shoko knocks on your door.
“hey! don’t tell me you’re too hungover for grocery shopping.”
“shit!” you whisper harshly, shoving him away from you. “she cannot see you in here.”
“afraid you’ll have to share?” he teases, narrowly avoiding being hit with a pillow. “okay, okay! where do you want me?”
“closet!” you instruct, scrambling my around the room to make sure none of his clothes are lying around. you thrust them into his hands, pushing him into your closet.
he catches the door before you can close it, smiling down at you. “aren’t you glad we’re doing this?”
you shove him inside, slamming the door shut just ask shoko bursts into the room.
“hey,” you greet, trying your best to appear casual as you lean against the door. your heart beats in your throat, as she squints at you, then lets her gaze sweep across the room.
“did you bring someone home last night?”
“no.”
she looks at you. really looks at you, you think.
“okay,” she finally says, though you can’t tell if she believes you. “i just– i thought i saw you leave with gojo. suguru said you two were flirting all night.”
“gojo and i?” you try to laugh, but it comes out a little strained. “never in a million years.”
shoko only shrugs, and you let yourself relax when she turns to leave…
…only for her to turn around once more, leaning the the doorframe. “well if you really don't like him, just let him down easy, alright? suguru told me he has a huge crush on you.”
wait–
“gojo?”
you hear a sharp inhale through the door.
“yeah,” she nods. “you really couldn't tell?”
gojo…has a crush on you. it takes a few seconds to truly sink in. “i had no idea.”
“of course you didn't. he’s definitely got a really weird way of showing it.”
she turns to leave for real this time, but you wait a couple extra seconds before opening your closet, finding a wide eyed, blushing satoru staring at you.
you can't help but laugh. at his expression, at shoko’s revelation, at this entire situation.
dating sucks, but maybe it won’t be that bad if it’s with him.
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praying for some peace and quiet in this gosh darn house
#my roommate setup at my last place was so good that i became complacent ://#like literally we became bffs and our third roommate was super chill just on a different social scene#and my current roommates r ...... :|#like one of them is pretty chill !! he invited me to his bday and we get along#but the other one has straight up yelled at me and cursed me out for leaving dishes in a sink that we were all leaving dishes in#girl .. the call is coming from inside the house#ive also heard her making fun of me on the phone to her friends which is ://#and she has a lot of internalised homophobia bc shes a practising catholic and bi which is totally understandable and i feel bad for her#but she keeps mentioning offhandedly that maybe something bad is happening to her/us bc god is smiting us for doing gay shit#like i am very obviously a practising transgender homosexual girl im not going to agree with you 😭😭#agh i want to move out but it seems like so much work .. but perhaps worth it
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