#and they know i see it as a success but they like KNOW osmehting happened i basically explained it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mare-the-silly-scroingle · 5 months

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i think i'm falling apart entirely which is really stupid But i can't get myself to submit this stupid fucking form. and i cant look my best friend in the eyes. and i still am trying to plan this trip with the person i used to have a crush on but dont feel much of anything for anymore. and therapy is a week from now and i just want to do something fun but i havent done anything fun in a while. So i guess im losing my mind and fracturing. its so fucking cold in my room

#honestly i just need to see this ex crush in person Bc we saw each other for maybe 2 seconds yesterday #and then they texted me and i texted back and i sent them another text just now #and like they have said nice things to me but like. Its so. i dont know #and like i think most of all i just want to be able to interact normally w my best friend #before i got high and started calling him my best friend #bc now i cant tell what the fuck our dynamic is supposed to be like Like #ppl thought we were dating which is insane and also really funny but like clearly we're really close #and clearly he cares but is that not like so fucking scary #i didnt want to be the emotional mess i was but like i was and now i feel like i dont know what to say #people saw me as i am. and i have to live w that. and i still have so much to do #andim scared to tell ppl that im having this response Bc they know i had a bad high for part of it.#and they know i see it as a success but they like KNOW osmehting happened i basically explained it #like mentioned my psychosis and shit like bc i had to right #but i dont want to tell my roommates im feeling this way. Bc then they will want me to not do it again #and like maybe thats a good idea. i just dont want them to be upset w my friends though #neg

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