#clownery ahead

[superstar49]

nothing like the rain when you’re in outer space…… like that’s so true

[attila-werther]

this is

a character statement of some kind

[toddandersonn]

I miss food discourse ngl

[ethereal-elegance]

sansa is the whitest white to ever white;ghost & bryden rivers are albino yet she's even more white than them but nonas have the fucking audacity to project the embodiment & epitome of whiteness;white victimhood & white feminism on Dany of all people whose narrative is poc-coded;whose skin tans so easily dark like some of her ancestors that she can blend in with the dothraki & look like them after assimilating to their culture;whose family members/race grrm regretted not making black; whose lifestyle is exotic & foreign (very essosi) in nature compared to westeros' (european/white) standards;NTM Dany can not sympathized but actually empathize w/ many of the common hardships & issues immigrants & refuges;mainly poc face:displacement;poverty;famine/hunger/forced starvation;homelessness;consistently being othered;being fetishized;racism;xenophobia;discrimination even in the context of the poorly adapted shitshow that is got + Dany can actually handle spicy food & loves it w/ high tolerance unlike being the whitest white to ever white in every damn way 100% ignorant sheltered narrow-minded uncultured spoiled brat privileged naive gullible classist bigot aloof two-faced fake narcissist sansa still only really truly caring about herself who wants & needs for nothing even as a "bAsTaRd";learned nothing really valuable or useful or morally upright;still easy to manipulate & offend;can't even tolerate spicy food;looks down on not only bastards & unconventionally;unattractive people but also the summer islanders (who are poc) still practices grandiosity;displays delusions of grandeur w/ her superiority complex w/ her pov chapters the only character who grrm explicitly mentioned is an unreliable narrator; but nonas keep coping ig🙃🤷🏾‍♀️🤡😭☠️🤣💀

Funny how there are people who see Daenerys as a woc when she's isn't but when people point out that the Martells and people from Dorne are canon poc, that's going too far. Ok cool. So where's the evidence where it's implied that Daenerys is a woc because all I see is alot of stuff connected to the white savior trope instead.

[jungkoode]

死 KKANGPAE | #11 死

† embers in the night †

"Camping trips are not your favorite thing in the world, but if Moon made it a thing, then you might as well swallow it up. Just like you swallow up Jeon's glances across the fire during the truth or dare game, or the way the flame of his cigarette glows amber in the distance and you somehow manage to know it's him.

next | index

⚔ chapter details ⚔

word count: 6.5k

rating: mature

content: camping trip stuff, grab the flag game, jessi and V bantering, jessi being a queen, friendship, truth or dare, sexual tension, hidden cig encounters, lowkey innuedo

☠ author's note ☠

You bitches. You unhinged little chaos goblins. DID YOU miss you trees, tension, and team-building trauma? Well, here's more of that.

Who would've thought? Not Moon. He just wanted to force the criminal girlies into the woods like it was a corporate retreat gone feral.

This chapter was so much fun to write. Like. The sheer range. One second we’re all sunburnt and pissed, and the next we’re watching Jessi roundhouse-kick a flagpole while V monologues like he’s in Phantom of the Opera (Violent Remix).

I really loved exploring the absolute clownery of this “team bonding” mission while sneaking in all these little character moments. Jessi and V’s rivalry? I LOVE THEM. SIBLING VIBES BUT MAKE IT DEADLY. ALSOOOO JM’s cardigan diplomacy? Flawless. Takama being a soft deadly kiwi?? I weep.

And then there’s Jeon.

Brooding. Smoking. Being allergic to feelings like it’s his job. (Which, to be fair, it kind of is.)

That last scene?? Baby girl. Baby DARLING. If you didn’t feel that in your knees, go reread.

Also. Also. Can we take a moment to appreciate the absolute tomfoolery of “Never Have I Ever” in a group full of criminals?? Like—everyone’s drinking. Everyone’s unwell. AD’s collecting blackmail. JM’s watching V with that “I’m not touching you but I’m thinking about it” gaze.

And Y/N?? Dropping that bomb about attraction like the menace she is. Girlie took a sip of that chaos juice and said “bet.” Queen behavior.

Anyway. All I’m saying is... get ready for next chapter. Hihihi.

⚔ socials ⚔

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tumblr/twitter: @jungkoode

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

The sun is being a real bitch today.

You wipe the sweat off your forehead for what feels like the millionth time, cursing whoever decided winter should feel like summer.

Moon, that conniving bastard.

His brilliant idea of "team bonding" in the mountains somehow got RM's stamp of approval, and now here you are, hiking up this godforsaken trail with the rest of Kkangpae's finest.

The gravel crunches under your boots as you trudge along. Something about seeing each other's "true colors" and "building trust," Moon had said. You snort. Leave it to him to turn a camping trip into some deep psychological experiment.

Up ahead, Jeon's leading the pack like the brooding commander he is. You watch him navigate the path with that focused intensity of his, all broad shoulders and purposeful strides. Everyone else keeps their distance—smart of them, really. His storm-cloud aura is doing that thing again, the one that makes the air feel electric and h̶o̶t̶ dangerous.

V bounces around near him like some deranged mountain sprite, which would be funny if it wasn't so unnerving. One second he's scaling rocks like some kind of professional climber, the next he's pelting people with pine cones, cackling like a kid on a sugar rush.

The contrast between him and Jeon is almost comical—darkness and chaos, wrapped up in two very different packages.

"Watch your step here," Flower calls out from behind you, her voice steady and sure.

You glance back to see her expertly maneuvering around a particularly treacherous patch of loose rocks. She makes everything look effortless, even hiking in this heat.

God, teach you her ways.

Jessi's voice cuts through suddenly: "Keep up the pace, we're not here for sightseeing!"

You can't help but grin as you watch her march ahead, red ponytail swinging like a battle flag. Even in hiking gear, she manages to look fierce as hell. Her division members trail behind her like ducklings, trying (and failing) to match her energy.

Something about seeing everyone out here, away from the castle's shadows and politics, feels weirdly raw. Real. You're all still the same dangerous people, just... dustier. Sweatier.

Maybe that was Moon's point all along.

Sneaky bastard.

The late afternoon sun bathes everything in gold, and you can't help but snort at the sight before you. It's absurdly funny seeing Kkangpae's finest trudging through nature like some twisted corporate retreat.

AD looks particularly out of place, blonde hair catching the light like a beacon as he leads his team of tech nerds through the wilderness. They're all following him like lost puppies, probably experiencing their first dose of vitamin D in months. You notice how his casual slouch doesn't quite mask the way his eyes keep scanning the treeline. Old habits die hard, huh?

"For fuck's sake, watch where you're stepping!" J-Hope's voice cuts through the air, his usual crankiness making a brief appearance as one of his medics nearly trips over a root.

Still, there's something different about him out here.

Less Dr. Jekyll, more... well, still Dr. Jekyll, but maybe after a cup of chamomile tea.

His team's got enough medical supplies to handle a small apocalypse, which is probably smart given this crowd.

And then there's JM, floating through it all like some ethereal woodland creature in his oversized cardigan. His financial team looks hilariously out of their element, but they're managing to keep up, probably because JM's presence is as calming as ever.

Though you'd bet good money those designer shoes aren't going to survive this trip.

The path finally opens up to a view that actually makes you pause.

Damn.

The valley stretches out below, all misty blues and greens, and for a moment, you forget you're part of a criminal organization of sorts. Everyone else seems to feel it too—this weird, peaceful vibe that has no business existing among a bunch of gang members.

"Alright, let's set up camp here." Moon's voice breaks the spell, all business as usual. But even his sunglasses can't hide the fact that he's actually enjoying this ridiculous situation.

You watch as everyone scrambles to follow his orders, divisions mixing like some bizarre summer camp activity—and it's kinda funny, seeing assassins and hackers arguing over how to pitch a tent.

Moon clears his voice like a professor about to announce a pop quiz. "Alright, everyone!"

You fight back an eye roll. Of course. The camping trip is not but some structured learning experience.

"Before we set up for the night, we have an activity." There's something almost gleeful in his tone that makes you nervous. "It's a team-building exercise, but with a Kkangpae twist."

Oh great. You watch as everyone exchanges looks, probably sharing your thought that nothing good ever comes from the words "team-building" and "twist" in the same sentence.

"We're going to split into mixed teams," Moon explains, pushing his round glasses up his nose. "Your task is to find and retrieve a flag hidden somewhere in this area. First team back wins."

You catch Jeon's subtle shift in posture—that slight straightening of his shoulders that means his competitive side just woke up. Meanwhile, V's grinning like someone told him there's cookies, which is honestly terrifying given his track record with "games."

"You'll need to use your skills cooperatively," Moon adds, like he's reading from some corporate manual. "This exercise is about strategy, teamwork, and understanding each other's strengths."

"Sounds like fun," Jessi cuts in, hands on her hips. "But what's the catch, Moon?"

Moon's lips curl into what might actually be a grin—holy shit, someone document this rare occurrence—before he drops the bomb: "You must stick together at all times, no one can be left behind. And remember, the forest can be deceptive. Stay alert." He pauses for dramatic effect. "Whoever wins gets to choose sleeping tent and partner."

Well, fuck.

The clearing erupts into motion as people start grouping up, and suddenly you're caught in the middle of what feels like the world's most dangerous game of musical chairs.

Your team's a weird mix, but maybe that's the point.

There's Jessi, JM, and Takama—the powerhouse trio you actually know—plus a handful of faces you usually just pass in the castle hallways.

There's Hyun from Medical, who looks like he'd rather be anywhere else but manages to radiate competence anyway. Seojoon from Cyber's got that twitchy energy all AD's people seem to share, like he's searching for a WiFi signal in this godforsaken forest. And then there's Minji from Stealth, who moves like she's made of smoke—seriously, how does she make hiking look graceful?

"Okay, team." Jessi's already taking charge, because of course she is. Her ponytail swings as she surveys your group like a general reviewing troops. "We've got a diverse set of skills here, and we're going to use them to win this."

JM hums in agreement, somehow making his oversized cardigan look appropriate for a hike. "Let's keep communication open and clear."

"The flag's probably hidden somewhere difficult," Takama cuts in. You've seen him around Jeon enough to recognize that tactical mind at work. "We should start in the denser areas."

The others chime in with their two cents—Hyun promising to play medic (thanks, but let's not need that), Seojoon muttering about search grids like this is some kind of programming problem, and Minji suggesting stealth like she's on an actual mission.

You nod along, trying not to roll your eyes at how seriously everyone's taking this glorified scavenger hunt. "Alright, we've got a plan. Let's just... not die in the process?"

Your ragtag team heads into the forest, and wow, Moon really picked the worst terrain possible. The ground's basically trying to trip you with every step, and these bushes are definitely winning the war against your clothes. But between Seojoon's weirdly effective grid system and Minji's silent-assassin routine, you're actually making decent progress.

Maybe this won't be a total disaster after all.

You can't help but grin as you listen to Jessi and JM's back-and-forth.

"You know," Jessi starts, that trademark smirk of hers making an appearance, "I'm not one for all this sneaking around. If it were up to me, I'd charge through these woods, make a beeline for that flag, and dare anyone to try and stop me."

JM chuckles, and you swear you can feel the calming effect it has on everyone. "That's exactly why we're here, Jessi. To learn different approaches. Besides, subtlety can be just as powerful as brute force, don't you think?"

"Maybe there's some strength in silence," Jessi admits, nodding at Minji. "But come on, it's hard to deny the rush of a good brawl."

"I get that," JM says, his eyes scanning the trees like he's trying to find a hidden Excel spreadsheet or something. "But we're a team. This is about more than just strength. It's about using our heads, too."

Jessi lets out a laugh that probably scares off half the wildlife in a five-mile radius. She claps JM on the back, and you wince, half-expecting him to topple over. But nope, he doesn't even flinch.

Guess that cardigan's hiding some muscle.

"That's why you're here, Jimin," Jessi grins. "You keep us grounded and thinking. But if we do come across another team, I'm not holding back!"

"You wouldn't be Jessi if you did," JM responds with a smile that's way too sweet for a guy who probably knows twenty-five ways to launder money through a lemonade stand. "Just make sure to keep that energy until we find the flag. We'll need it."

You watch as they fall into step together, and it's kind of... nice? In a weird, 'we're-all-criminals-but-hey-found-family' kind of way.

"You're the calm to my storm, Chimchim," Jessi says, and oh, this is the first time you're seeing her softer side. "But let's not forget, we've got Chaewon in another team and there's no way I'm letting her beat us."

JM grins, and you swear you can see the gears turning in that big brain of his. "Not a chance. We've got this." His eyes flick to Jessi's feet. "Just watch your step, though. Can't have you charging off and spraining an ankle. We need you in top form, Jessi."

You bite back a snort. Leave it to JM to be all caring while also low-key telling Jessi to chill the fuck out.

As you trudge along behind them, you can't help but wonder what the other teams are up to. E̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶J̶e̶o̶n̶'s.

Not that you care. Nope. Not at all.

Your throat feels like sandpaper, and you realize with growing irritation that your water bottle is probably sitting pretty back at camp, completely useless to you right now. Great going, genius.

You're in the middle of cursing your own stupidity when Takama falls into step beside you. For Jeon's second-in-command, he's surprisingly... not terrifying?

"You look like you could use this," he says, offering his canteen with a smile that actually reaches his eyes. It's weird seeing such a genuine expression on someone from the Assassination Division.

"Thanks, Takama." You accept the water, trying not to look as desperately thirsty as you feel. "I can't believe I left mine back at camp."

The water hits different when you're this thirsty. You try not to chug it like some dehydrated gremlin, but it's a close call.

"It happens to the best of us," he says, and there's something almost kind in his voice. "Just remember to stay hydrated. We've got a long day ahead of us."

You hand back his canteen, feeling weirdly touched by the gesture. "I owe you one."

"No worries. We're all here to look out for each other, right?"

He says it so easily, like it's the most natural thing in the world. Like we're not all part of a criminal organization where trust usually comes with a price tag.

It hits you then—Takama's actually nice. Not in that fake, calculated way some gang members are, but genuinely considerate. The kind of person who notices when someone's struggling and helps without making a big deal out of it.

You watch him scan the forest ahead, radiating both competence and awareness at the same time. You can't help but think it's almost funny how he ended up as Jeon's right hand—they're like night and day. Where Jeon's all storm clouds and sharp edges, Takama's more like... well, a really deadly teddy bear with a shaved head?

A soft kiwi, maybe?

What even is this gang anymore?

Hyun's voice interrupts your inner chatter. "Eyes peeled, everyone. We're approaching a likely area."

You resist the urge to roll your eyes. No shit, Sherlock.

And then the trees loom overhead, casting weird shadows that make every bush look like a potential hiding spot. You're starting to think Moon's got a sadistic streak, making you play hide and seek in this green maze.

Minji glides forward like some forest nymph, graceful and silent. It's almost annoying how effortlessly she moves. You, on the other hand, feel about as stealthy as a drunk elephant.

"We're making good progress," Seojoon mutters, probably to his imaginary friend.

The guy's been muttering to himself this whole time. You're half convinced he's got a spreadsheet running in his head.

The sun's starting to dip, painting everything in that Instagram-worthy golden hour light. It'd be pretty if it didn't also mean you're running out of time, because where the fuck is the goddamn flag?

You all keep moving together until Jessi throws up her hand like she's hailing a taxi in the middle of the woods.

"You hear that?" she whispers, and there's this glint in her eye that screams 'trouble'.

You strain your ears and—oh. Oh shit. That's definitely the sound of people nearby. Your heart does this weird little skip, part 'fuck yeah' and part 'oh fuck'.

"We move quiet, we move fast," Jessi hisses. "Remember, they're not expecting us. We've got the element of surprise. Let's use it."

You all nod like a bunch of bobbleheads and spread out. You try your best to channel your inner Minji, but you're pretty sure you look more like a constipated ninja.

Jessi peeks over some bushes, and bam—there it is.

The flag.

Your golden ticket to a decent night's sleep and maybe, just maybe, a chance to stick it to Jeon.

Your heart's pounding so hard you're surprised it hasn't alerted the other team.

This is it.

You watch as Jessi's eyes narrow, and you know that look. She's not just seeing what's there—she's looking for all the ways this could go wrong.

Then it happens. A rustle in the trees that's definitely not the wind, and before you can process it, you spot him. V, looking like some demented forest creature, perched in a tree like he's auditioning for a horror movie.

The moment Jessi and V lock eyes, the whole atmosphere shifts. Because fuck. You've seen enough of the chiefs' competitive bullshit to know this is about to get wild.

They both move at once, like someone fired a starting gun. V launches himself from the tree with that unnatural grace of his—so that's where Minji's gotten it from huh?—while Jessi... well, Jessi does what Jessi does best: something absolutely batshit crazy.

Instead of going for the flag like a normal person, she fucking roundhouse kicks the pole. The flag goes flying through the air like some patriotic frisbee, and you have to bite back a laugh because of course she'd pull something like this.

The look V and Jessi share is almost funny—like two cats who just realized they're both after the same mouse. Although it seems to be accompanied by this weird respect, probably buried under layers of competitive spite.

They both land, and V's got that smile on his face. You know the one—that 'I'm about to be an absolute shit' smile that you're really starting to associate with him.

"Well, well," he drawls, brushing off his hands like he didn't just parkour through the forest. "I must say, Jessi, you still know how to make a man's heart race."

Jessi straightens up, and you can practically feel the eye roll coming. "Please, V. The day you can outmaneuver me is the day the Council of Nine turns into a knitting circle."

V's chuckle is low and lazy, like he has all the time in the world. His grin stretches wide, equal parts mischief and provocation.

"But isn't that what makes it so fun?" He gestures between himself and Jessi with a flourish. "You, all brute force and chaos. Me, dripping with finesse. A perfect match, don't you think?"

Jessi crosses her arms, utterly unimpressed. Her gaze could cut steel, but V? He's eating it up.

"Finesse? Is that what we're calling your sneaky little stunts now? Sounds like bullshit with extra steps to me."

The air suddenly turns... weird. Like it's cracking with adrenaline and... whatever the hell their dynamic is. Though it's clear neither is willing to flinch, and the rest of you might as well not exist.

"Ah, but—" V bows theatrically, one arm sweeping out like he's on a stage instead of about to throw hands. "Subtlety is an art form. And me? I'm nothing short of a masterpiece. You know, not everyone gets the honor of sparring with the Stealth Chief."

Jessi barks out a laugh so sharp it echoes through the trees, momentarily silencing the usual rustle of leaves.

"Stealth Chief? Is that what you call scurrying around like some feral house cat? Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but sneaking isn't exactly fighting. It's just running away in slow motion."

Her stance shifts slightly, weight rolling to the balls of her feet. It's the kind of posture that makes you take a cautious step back, because you've heard of Jessi when she's motivated, and it's not pretty—for the idiot on the receiving end.

V doesn't even blink. Instead, his smirk deepens, resilient as ever.

"Coward, hmm? That's what sore losers say when they can't keep up." He tuts softly, shaking his head as if she's the one being unreasonable.

Oh, boy.

You can almost feel Jessi's hackles rise. Her eyes narrow into slits, a dangerous glint stealing across her face.

"The only finesse you're gonna have is figuring out how to pick your teeth out of the dirt, pretty boy."

It's like the temperature drops a few degrees—or maybe it's just the shadow of their looming chaos. Everyone else stays frozen, like one wrong move will get them caught in the crossfire, and honestly? You wouldn't blame them.

V circles her slowly, scornful expression still intact, obviously. But there's an edge to it now, playful but keen, like the blade of a knife.

"Oh, Jess," his voice turns mocking, "I'd consider you competition... if we were in the same league."

And that's it. That's the match to her gasoline fire.

Jessi lunges first—of course she does. She's all instinct, fast and explosive, and it's honestly terrifying how much energy she has left even after the trek through the forest. Her feint is quick, purposeful, a snap to the left designed to bait him.

But V's not a rookie. He doesn't take the bait. Instead, he stays planted, watching her with that maddening patience of his, tracking her every move like she's easy to figure out.

"Come on, V," Jessi taunts, her voice bright. "What's the matter? Scared I'll knock that smirk off your face?"

V leans back slightly, just enough to dodge her next swipe. He looks far too calm, that smirk of his like a permanent fixture.

"Oh, Jessi, Jessi, Jessi." His voice is mockingly soothing, like he's trying to calm a rabid dog. "I'd actually have to notice you to be scared."

You don't know whether to laugh or take cover. Probably both.

V springs into action like some unholy mixture of a cat and a ninja. This is the first time you've seen him fight, and honestly you're not entirely sure he's actually trying.

Maybe it's just the pure glee radiating off him as he dances around Jessi's attacks.

Jessi's not making it easy for him. She's fierce, determined—and girl's got stamina for days. But V? The bastard's treating this like his own personal performance art, ducking and weaving like he does this while eating a bagel for breakfast.

"Come on, Joo," V taunts, narrowly avoiding Jessi's grab. "Getting slow in your old age?"

"I'll show you slow, you little shit!"

Suddenly V feints left and Jessi takes the bait, lunging forward with enough force to probably knock out a bear. But V's already spinning away, cackling as he dives for the flag.

His fingers brush the fabric, and for a second, you think he's got it. But Jessi? She's not Logistics Chief for nothing. She hooks her foot around his ankle—dirty move, you love it—sending him slightly off balance. It's not much, but it's enough.

They both grab the flag at almost the same moment, and suddenly it's a weird game of tug-of-war mixed with what looks like interpretive dance. V's got the advantage of height, but Jessi's got pure stubborn determination on her side.

"Let go, you overgrown weed!" Jessi grunts, yanking hard.

"Ladies first," V purrs, and you see the exact moment Jessi's eye twitches.

She does something then—some crazy mix of a twist and a roll that makes you dizzy just watching—and suddenly V's grip slips. The flag comes free, and Jessi stumbles back, barely keeping her balance but clutching her prize like it's made of gold.

V's jaw falls, and it's like he's about to curse her out.

But then, he simply straightens up, brushing dirt from his clothes with exaggerated care. His hair's a mess and there's a leaf stuck to his shoulder, but he's still grinning.

"Well played, Jessi." The words come out warm, genuine. "You've still got the moves."

Jessi's victory dance consists mainly of waving the flag in V's face. "Not too shabby yourself, pretty boy. But let's not forget who the winner is here."

You watch them, these two ridiculous powerhouses of Kkangpae, playfully shoving each other like actual siblings.

Maybe this is exactly what Moon wanted you to see.

The walk back to camp feels like a victory parade.

If... victory parades involved a bunch of criminals trampling through the woods.

Jessi's leading the charge, waving that flag like she just conquered a small country.

The clearing comes into view, and suddenly you're all celebrities. The other teams are gathered around, some actually cheering, others looking like they just bit into a lemon. You catch a few eye rolls—sore losers much?

"And then—" Jessi's voice booms across as she launches into her dramatic retelling. She demonstrates her kick, nearly taking out a poor sapling in the process. "—the flag was mine!"

"Ours." JM corrects.

You bite back a laugh. Trust Jessi to turn a game of capture the flag into an epic saga.

"That's my girl!" Chaewon hollers from the sidelines, looking like a proud mom at a soccer game. She bounces over to Jessi, and they fall into their usual rhythm of playful jabs and inside jokes.

The attention shifts to JM, who's scanning the crowd intently—but before he can even open his mouth, V materializes next to him like some kind of demented jack-in-the-box.

"Come on, JM," V purrs, draping himself over JM's shoulders. "You know you want to bunk with me. I'll keep the monsters away."

JM sighs, but you catch that little smile he's trying to hide.

"I suppose someone needs to make sure you don't terrorize the entire camp." He shakes his head, fond exasperation written all over his face. "Fine, you win."

Now it's your turn. You glance around the clearing, weighing your options. Your eyes land on Yunjin, and something in your chest settles.

After all this chaos, her gentle presence feels like finding a quiet corner in a noisy room.

"I choose Yunjin," you say, and watch her face light up like a sunrise. "We'll take a two-person tent."

"I'd like that," she replies softly, and you know you made the right choice.

At least someone in this camp won't try to murder you in your sleep.

Hopefully.

The sun finally gives up its assault as evening rolls in.

Everyone's hustling around, pitching tents like they actually know what they're doing (spoiler: most don't), while someone gets a bonfire going. You find yourself plopped down next to Yunjin, watching the flames dance.

The clearing's alive with chatter and laughter—gang members discussing random stuff like normal citizens.

You notice from your periphery that Chaewon and Jessi are cackling about something, probably roasting someone (metaphorically, for once).

Their friendship hits different when you see them like this, all guard down and genuine.

Not far from them, V's got JM trapped in what looks like the world's most animated conversation. He's all dramatic hand gestures and shit-eating grins while JM just sits there, dropping these little zingers that have V practically bouncing.

The fire crackles, bottles clink, and for a moment it's like... you're at some normal camping trip.

If normal meant with your dysfunctional criminal found family thing.

"Alright, folks!" V slaps his thigh like some demented camp counselor, grinning like he just thought of the best worst idea ever. "How about we spice things up a bit? Never Have I Ever—you drink if you've done it."

The response is a mix of "hell yeah" and "oh god no," but you know everyone's going to play anyway. That's just how V's chaos works—it's like a black hole, sucking everyone into its orbit.

AD shifts against his log, looking way too comfortable for someone sitting on literal dirt.

"This should be good," he drawls, and you can practically see the blackmail material forming in his brain.

"Just remember," J-Hope cuts in, trying (and failing) to sound responsible, "I'm not drinking tonight."

You notice how AD's eyes flick to him for just a second, unspoken words being thrown into the space between them.

You don't have enough time to decipher it though, because soon enough everyone is grabbing their drink (or in J-Hope's case, what looks suspiciously like apple juice).

This is either going to be the best team-building exercise ever or the start of World War III.

"Never have I ever..." V drawls, and you just know he's about to say something stupid. "Gotten a tattoo I regretted the next day."

A few drinks go up, and AD mutters something about a phoenix that sounds suspiciously like a drunk decision gone wrong. You catch J-Hope trying not to laugh at that—probably because he's the one who had to deal with the infection afterward.

The game picks up speed, stories getting bolder with each round. Your brain's starting to feel fuzzy around the edges when it's your turn.

"Never have I ever..." You tap your bottle against your chin, grinning. "Bailed someone out of jail before sunrise."

The response is instant—bottles going up everywhere like some weird criminal toast. Jeon takes a particularly long drink, and you can't help but wonder how many times he's had to rescue his disaster squad from lockup.

"Never have I ever," AD announces, shooting J-Hope that shit-eating grin of his, "been caught in a ridiculous, bright yellow suit that could be seen from space.

J-Hope doesn't miss a beat. "Never have I ever walked into a glass door because I was too busy admiring my own reflection."

The clearing erupts with laughter, and AD shoves him like he wants to murder him. You swear these two are one bickering session away from either killing each other or adopting each other.

Then it's your leader's turn, and she confesses to some wild midnight adventure that has Jessi cackling, and then Jessi drops the bomb about her secret karaoke obsession—which weirdly, surprises nobody.

The alcohol's doing its job, making everything feel warm and loose, when V suddenly turns to you. His eyes are glinting with mischief in the firelight, and you know you're about to be targeted.

"Your turn," he purrs, and everyone's eyes swing your way. "Let's hear something juicy."

Oh, it's on.

Maybe it's the alcohol, or maybe it's the fire's dancing in your vision, making faces blur like some abstract painting—but suddenly you've got what might be either the best or worst idea ever.

You lean forward, propping your elbows on your knees, and oh—maybe sitting up so fast wasn't the smartest move. Still, you've committed now.

"Never have I ever," you drawl, feeling particularly bold (or stupid), "found someone in this circle attractive."

The silence that follows is delicious.

Then, the clearing erupts in laughter and the telling clink of bottles.

Your eyes scan the circle, catching all those little tells—the shifted gazes, the not-so-subtle glances. And then—

Oh.

Across the fire, Jeon moves. It's subtle—barely anything at all. But you see it. The way his dark eyes find yours, steady and unwavering, even as he lifts his bottle to his lips.

Slowly.

Deliberately.

Your breath catches, just for a moment, before you collect yourself. The fire crackles as if mocking the heat suddenly pooling in your chest. Goddamn him.

Yunjin's trying (and failing) to be subtle about her giggles, taking the tiniest sip from her bottle. Next to her, Eunchae's practically glowing, her laugh carrying across the fire as she drinks.

Kazuha makes drinking look like some fancy tea ceremony, all grace and poise, while Sakura's grinning like she's got secrets to spare. They share this look that makes you wonder if there's a story there.

And then; there's Takama. His face does this thing where it's completely blank before he drinks, but there's this little smirk playing at the corner of his mouth that says he's in on some joke the rest of you aren't.

V, though? He doesn't even hesitate. "Looks like we've got a crowd full of admirers," he says dramatically, raising his bottle like he's toasting to a room full of fans.

Your eyes catch how they flick toward JM for just a split second, and well—that's interesting.

Laughter ripples through the group again, and the tension eases, though your heart hasn't quite caught up yet.

It's still hammering in your chest, louder than it has any right to be, especially with Jeon sitting there, calm as a fucking statue.

You dare another glance at him, only to find his eyes still on you, half-lidded but watching.

Always watching.

The firelight dances across his face, catching on the silver of his lip ring, the sharp line of his jaw. You can't read him, and that pisses you off more than it probably should.

"Think you're clever, huh?" V says, pulling you back to the moment. His voice is teasing, but there's that signature chaos behind it, something wild and unapologetic. "Careful, sweetheart. Questions like that just set the wolves loose."

You smirk, forcing your gaze away from Jeon. "Good thing I don't mind wolves."

V laughs, throwing his head back dramatically as if you've just made his entire night. Meanwhile, Jeon hasn't moved, hasn't said a word. But you swear you can feel the weight of his presence pressing against you.

Like the goddamn hurricane he is.

You don't miss how JM takes a slow, deliberate sip from his bottle, and that little smirk playing on his lips. His eyes flick briefly toward V before darting away.

Huh.

"Guess we're all a bit fucked up, huh?" Jessi announces with 0 subtlety, taking a long drink and throwing a wink across the fire.

J-Hope leans back against his log, grinning despite his apple juice. "What can we say? We're a good-looking bunch."

Coming from anyone else, it might sound conceited. But J-Hope manages to make it sound like he's sharing some universal truth.

AD just sits there with that infuriating eyebrow raised, looking like he's cataloging every reaction for future reference—and the way his lips curve up at the corners... Yeah, he's probably acquiring blackmail material.

The game keeps going, and you all keep drinking. Everyone redoubles on the alcohol, guards slip a little bit and then the fire's dying down, but the energy around the circle is still very much present.

You blame the booze for the way your skin prickles every time you feel Jeon's gaze slide over to you.

Not that you're keeping track.

The crowd around the fire thins out as the night deepens.

A few stragglers remain—Yunjin and Eunchae huddled together like gossiping schoolgirls, while Kazuha and Sakura stare into the flames like they're trying to divine their futures or something.

You sit there, watching the fire die down, feeling that pleasant buzz from earlier starting to fade.

Then you spot it—a tiny orange glow in the darkness, like a misplaced star.

Cigarette.

And there's only one brooding asshole who'd be lurking in the shadows at this hour.

You get up, picking your way through what feels like a minefield of sleeping bags and empty bottles. You make it through some trees and bushes, and an owl hoots somewhere in the distance, probably judging your life choices.

Then he's there.

Jeon.

Standing there like some noir film character, all broad shoulders and moody silence.

The cigarette between his lips is the only thing giving him away in the darkness.

Dramatic bastard.

"Smoking again?" You try to keep your voice casual, but it comes out softer than intended. Maybe it's the lingering alcohol, or maybe it's just... him.

He doesn't even flinch—of course he doesn't. Mr. Perfect Assassin probably knew you were coming before you did.

He takes a long drag before answering, smoke curling from his lips.

"Yeah." His voice is rough, low. "Had to hide from J-Hope. He'd have my ass for this."

"And here I thought you quit." You lean against his tree, close enough to smell that addictive mix of tobacco and him.

Pine and wood and petrichor.

He finally turns to look at you, and fuck—the way the cigarette's glow catches his features should be illegal.

That smirk doesn't help either.

"Old habits die hard."

"Bad for your health, you know." You're not sure why you're still talking, but something about this moment feels... different. Significant.

His laugh is dark, barely there. "Ain't much about our lives that's good for health, is there?"

Silence falls between you, like tiny droplets of water during a sizzle.

You both know what this is—what it isn't.

You watch him take another drag, mesmerized by the way his lips wrap around the filter. The only sounds are some distant snoring and the occasional hoot of that judgmental owl from earlier.

"You ever think about quitting? For real, I mean?" The question slips out before you can stop it. Blame it on the lingering alcohol, or maybe just the way the moonlight catches on his lip ring.

Jeon rolls the cigarette between his fingers, and you try not to stare at the way they move.

Really try.

"Sometimes," he murmurs.

And god, his voice shouldn't sound like that—all gravely and burnt at the edges from the nicotine dragging down his throat.

"But it's like this—" He gestures vaguely at the darkness around you, at your whole fucked-up world. "It's a part of me. Even if it's not the best part."

Your eyes drift to his face, tracing the sharp line of his jaw, lingering maybe a second too long on his lips as they part to release another cloud of smoke. There's something dangerous about the way he looks right now, something that has you holding yourself back from doing something stupid.

Something really stupid.

Before you can talk yourself out of it, you reach out and snatch the cigarette right from between his lips. His expression shifts from surprise to something else, something you can't quite grasp. His mouth stays slightly parted, just for a moment, before he catches himself.

You bring the cigarette to your own lips, taking a slow drag. The filter's still warm from his mouth. You hold his gaze as you inhale, watching the way his eyes track the movement.

"Look at you," he finally says, voice rough and low, "preaching about bad habits."

You exhale, letting the smoke curl between you like a secret. "Consider it a public service. Just looking out for you."

You can't help the smirk that tugs at your lips.

He leans in—fuck—close enough that you can smell pine and rain and tobacco.

"By taking on the bad habits yourself?" His tone is teasing, but his eyes... his eyes are something else entirely.

Another drag, slower this time.

You're playing with fire and you know it.

"Someone's got to make sure you don't fall off the wagon." Your voice comes out lower than intended, smoke dancing around your words. "Might as well be me."

Your chest burns, and you wonder if it's really just the nicotine. 

Dangerous territory, babe.

You watch as Jeon's eyes track the cigarette between your fingers. He doesn't ask for it back, and somehow that feels more intimate than if he had.

"You're a hell of a contradiction, you know that?" His voice is soft, barely there, but it hits you like a punch to the gut.

You can't help the wry grin that tugs at your lips.

"Aren't we all, in this game?"

The question hovers between you like the smoke curling up from the cigarette still nestled between your lips.

Loaded.

With all the things you're not supposed to say, not supposed to want.

His laugh, when it comes, is low, obscure. Utterly dangerous. It does things to your chest that you refuse to examine too closely.

"We are," he admits, and fuck, the way he's looking at you makes your skin feel too tight. "But some of us are better at playing the part than others."

You pull the cig out of your mouth, roll it between your fingers, watching the smoke curl up toward the stars.

Anything to avoid drowning in those hurricane eyes of his.

"And which one of us isn't playing their part right now?"

You catch the way his jaw tenses, the slight shift as he leans back. It's subtle, but you think you're starting to learn to read these tiny tells of his. The way he holds himself, like he's physically stopping from moving closer.

"We're both walking a thin line here," he murmurs, and there's something in his voice—exhaustion maybe, or resignation. "You know the rules as well as I do."

"I do." The words taste bitter on your tongue. "Doesn't mean I have to like them."

Doesn't mean you have to like the way he makes you want to break them. Squash them. Fuck them.

F̶u̶c̶k̶ h̶i̶m̶.̶

He watches you like he's trying to memorize every detail, and you hate how it makes you feel exposed.

Like you're simply made of glass and he can see right through to the mess underneath.

"We don't get to pick and choose which rules to follow." His voice drops so low you almost miss it. "Not without consequences."

Consequences. It's a horrible word and you suddenly can't help hating it. Fucking stupid consequences.

You take one last drag from the cigarette, letting the burn ground you. It's almost funny how that tiny ember matches the heat that floods your system whenever he looks at you like that.

With a flick of your wrist, you send it spinning into the darkness, watching it burst into sparks before fading to nothing.

"Then I guess we're good at playing by the rules, aren't we?" Your voice stays steady, even if your pulse is doing gymnastics in your throat.

His eyes follow the dead cigarette's arc before landing back on you, and fuck—there's something in that look that makes your chest ache.

"Yeah," he says, and you catch that hint of... something in his voice. Like regret, maybe. Or defeat. "We're the best."

It's almost funny how these stolen moments have become your new normal—these little pockets of time where you both pretend you're not thinking about breaking every single atom of space between both of you.

But rules are rules, and Jeon... well, Jeon follows them like his life depends on it.

And maybe, it does.

Too bad his dedication to the rules doesn't make him any less fucking attractive.

goal: 160 notes. If we don’t hit it, I’m putting you all in Moon’s next trust fall workshop. With V as your partner. Good luck.

next | index

🔪 taglist 🔪

@cannotalwaysbenight @livingformintyoongi @itstoastsworld @redcherrykook @somehowukook @stutixmaru @chloepiccoliniii @kimnamjoonmiddletoe @rpwprpwprpwprw @jimineepaboya @annyeongbitch7 @mar-lo-pap @whothefuckisthishoe @mikrokookiex

© jungkoode 2025

no reposts, translations, or adaptations

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

ok some things i LIKED about tua 4 since we all have talked exclusively about what we hated (SPOILERS AHEAD):

idc what anyone says the baby shark bit was iconic every time it came on i jammed

klaus had a comic book storyline from hotel oblivion!! let’s go source material!!

diego and luther being himbos

allison and klaus friendship

the entire birthday party scene was hilarious and fun and so THEM ok

the road trip scene that was in the trailer such iconic sibling goofy clownery they’re fucking idiots

klaus. he was in it. any time i get to see my little freak is time well spent.

incredibly unpopular opinion but i liked the ending i think they need an end from the cycle of apocalypses and suffering like they deserve a rest they’ve earned it and it was sweet that they all went together and the “i love you guys………but you’re all such fucking assholes” and then “fuck you” and everyone laughing and crying and THEN AND THEN ALL THE CHARACTERS FROM THE VARIOUS SEASONS BEING AT THE END i was SOBBING

klaus having a podcast of himself giving himself affirmations like that’s so funny

they actually gave somewhat of a shit about each other like diego was so DAD my babies have grown up but not too much they’re still fucking toddlers

lila is so pretty and funny and hot and unhinged she means so much to me

lila and klaus friendship!! lila and allison!! bonding!!

gene and jean were SUCH classic umbrella academy characters. loved them.

viktor gets all the pussy

i cannot stress how much all of the group scenes were so fucking sibling i love them ok

NO LUTHER AND ALLISON INCEST THANK FUCK

THUNDERBOLT THE GHOST DOG <3<3<3

klaus and claire oh my god i love uncle klaus so much and he loves her so much

seeing sober klaus and how hard he tried and then the heartbreak when that went away because he’s KLAUS he’s gerard way’s trauma self insert. as much as i want klaus to be safe and content and free from all this bullshit it was just so consistent and i can appreciate that. and i cried like a little bitch it was truly devastating but it was just sooooo klaus. also getting to see him make it incredibly clear that he didn’t want his powers back—him being the ONLY ONE who didn’t want his powers back—was important to me idk. and he was LOVED like he has a family!! he is cared for!! ahhHHHHHH!! love it

claire was great and getting to see her and allison and their tumultuous relationship and their love for each other after all of these seasons of allison looking for her and just wanting to be with her daughter

klaus got dave’s dog tags <3

more flashbacks to brellie kids!!

getting answers to some series-long mysteries

the underground subway system between timelines was so fucking cool and mindfucky 100/10

klaus’s look being reminiscent of s1 sorry that was my favourite klaus look ok

their sort of evolved powers when they got them back

so many good one liners and comedic scenes

ben being a crypto bro is SO FUNNY

will add stuff as i think of it. this is incredibly out of character for me i am an eternal pessimist but i did enjoy s4 (mostly because, as an eternal pessimist, my expectations are always low) so here we are.

[creatureprofessor]

RE: banning Pride in Hungary bc they did in fact ban it today: the govt. is scrambling so tremendously ahead of next year's elections that they passed the bill before passing the actual consitutional amendment (the 15th in 13 years btw) enabling it to be banned. fascism, clownery and blatant disregard for any democratic measure all the way down.

[lesbiannieism]

*reporter voice* mclaren have now officially pulled ahead of ferrari in the WCC (world clown championship), breaking the italian team’s multi-year run as leading clown constructor. red bull have managed to secure third position thanks to their laughable approach to driver management. will ferrari be able to take back the championship lead, or will mclaren take us to new heights in clownery? stay tuned to find out

[changbinsboobs]

Can you include how skz member reacts when other members also likes his crush or s/o thx!!!

I decided to make the reading in a broader spectrum as i think ill be getting more insight on their inner personality as well, instead of just gaining insight on this specific situation.

Skz' reaction when another guy likes their crush/s'o

Chan - The Hermit

For him i think he would be pretty unbothered. Something of the sort like "and what about it? Ik they'd choose me anyway".

Lee Know - King of Swords

He finds it weird how other people are not ashamed of showing interest towards an "occupied" person. Like "you really have that much dignity? That little self worth?" I think for him it applies more towards people that actively try to steal your partner cuz how otherwise would u know they have a crush on them if they don't show it in some way. He is pretty appalled to it and thinks little of people like that. Its just plain stupid and useless in his opinion and he thinks his partner wouldn't get tempted by such foolery/clownery and if they do then they're a clown/fool themselves and they did him a favor by leaving.

Changbin - The Moon, King of Pentacles, 5 of Wands

Lots of mixed feelings and im also getting a hint of toxicity but a sweet one? Idk how to explain it - like wine?😂 as i said in previous readings i think he enjoys emotional torment in some way. So first he would feel personally attacked - even if he's not close to that person or if they aren't actively trying to steal them but he just noticed how they look at his crush or partner. I think he has lots of trauma and insecurities from last relationships which explains his hypervigilance and over sensitivity. He would get doubtful of himself, feel disrespected and attacked by the other person even daring to look and desire his crush/partner cuz how dare they?!?!! His crush is HIS!!! He would start comparing himself, doubting himself even contemplating if he should just let this crush go cuz whats the use of it anyway - but this episode is just the initial feelings he gets, they pass pretty quickly tho and he gains his confidence very quickly after that first initial hit. He remembers his power, his status, his wealth, his qualities and feels like king/boss once again and i think he gets into a competing mode - if its a crush - and start obviously competing with the other guy and trying to make himself look better, maybe even picking fights, but not like full blown fist fights, nor verbal ones, rather something of the sort where he starts throwing certain comments to just show his competitive nature and show he's not there just to play but he means business. I don't think he's friendly towards his "rival". If its about his s/o tho i see it going in a different direction where his doubts, jealousy, insecurity etc might lead to fights. I think his insecurity might insult his partner and i also think his doubtful phase would get pretty annoying to his partner after a while. Im hearing "ugh just get over it and stop being a pu**y."

Hyunjin - King of Cups, Page of Cups, Knight of Cups

I think he's very confident and even enjoys it when others show interest in his crushes/so, cuz he gets rally cocky and feels superior - like "oh u like them? Go ahead try😏 lets see which one of us they choose" cuz he just knows he's elite, he knows his power and he knows those dusties ain't got anything on him😂 I'm also seeing that he has many options as in, if its about a crush, he can get another one pretty easily even if he gets rejected, and if its about and s/o he thinks there's a pool if women (people) drooling all over themselves for him and would fight each other to get even close to him so he feels great security in whatever happens he would get chosen, and if he doesn't theres plenty of other great choices he can just swing his finger at and they would swoon at his feet.

Han - Justice, 8 of Cups

He also feels disrespected and makes him feel kinda cold towards that person but also towards his crush too. I think he also goes into a bit of a dark space and might think if they're truly right for each other, if the other guys not a better fit for his person, if maybe he's holding them back from true happiness or their "the one" and i think he might retract a bit into his shell, get cold and dwell on his thoughts for a while.

Felix - 5 of Cups

I think he feels insulted by that person especially if its a closer one. He feels betrayed and it takes away from the sweetness and happiness he felt when he looked at and spent time with his crush/so. Now when he looks at them he gets reminded of the betrayal and the bitter feelings and he also is very empathetic about it like...omg like he's thinking about the other person too and how painful it is for them to have a crush on someone thats taken or for them both to have a crush on the same person and i think he might be contemplating if he shouldn't take a step back to give the other guy(person) a chance as well cuz i think he engages in more of casual relationships and he would be thinking "if that persons feelings are truthful and deep and they want something meaningful with my crush, should i not take step back? I don't want anything serious i just want to have fun. Surely i can find fun elsewhere but can they find love elsewhere too? Its not as easy i think" that kind of monologue im hearing from him.

Seungmin - The Empress

I think he doesn't care one bit about the ither guy, he just cares about his wife and their little happy family and thats it. "That bloke can like whoever he wants, won't change the fact that my wife's mine."

I.N - 4 of Cups, Ace of Wands, The Chariot

His energy is so cute. I think he would contemplate about it, which action and solution would be best. And i think he would come to the conclusion about taking the initiative to approach that other guy and talk with him about it. He doesn't want any problems, but he also wants to make clear that his girl is his and that he should keep off. If the other guy doesn't peacefully comply as jeongin intended, he will take a more stern approach and actively keep that guy away from his person and actively protect them and show his assertiveness and dominance (between the two guys i mean, not in the relationship)

[fafayayarhen]

How is Austria able to serve so much cunt?

He had to be the best at serving cunt and this began with the plot of the Fraudulent Charters by Rudolf the Founder of Habsburgs, circa 1300s - 1400s.

Imagine you, a neglected duchy after half a decade rule of the Habsburgs' who wrenched you from the fairly decent life under Bohemian rule, and they use you as a convenient financial backer to fund money into their Swiss territories they're slowly losing. And they finally did lose it when the Swiss confederacy expelled the Habsburgs' for good!

Your pride as the imperial fief of the Holy Roman Empire is becoming rather trivial, oh dear... You'd have thrown tantrums, you'd have screamed and gave those Habsburgs hell for their utter clownery only to be surprised with the next fuck up that they partitioned you into two parts, upper Austria and lower Austria because of their petty family squabbles.

Following the Golden Bull edict published by Emperor Louis that diminished every ounce of Habsburg prestige, it leaves you with this ruling house perpetually ruined and humiliated. What other choice is there but to back the conman Rudolf and girlboss this forged paperwork to present to the emperor to restore the Habsburgs' status?

Mansplain, manipulate and manslaughter, master it all and congratulations, the first emperor from the ruling family of your fief is finally produced when Frederick III was crowned in Rome! (1452)

Continue slaying, for you have bigger things ahead of you. There is still the matter of the Burgundian territories to be succeeded once emperor Maximilian I marries Mary of Burgundy, there is still the matter of expanding the Habsburgs' line by marrying into the Spanish royalty through Philip and Joana of Castile, there is still more work to be done until Charles is next emperor and expanded the region of the HRE from the German realm far to the new world!

"The Habsburgs' may not have known what to do with Austria, but Austria knew what to do with the Habsburgs," from the book I've been reading about the Habsburgs. And that, is how Roderich | Austria came to serve the cuntiest cunt™ throughout Europe.

[squad-724]

WATCH OUT! SPOILERS FOR THE FANFICTION „Project Failsafe” up ahead!

A gift for @clownery-and-fuckery in exchange for Hybrid Batch snippet >:] a scene from their fic

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

“Rings of Power” 2x08 (Season Finale) - Speculation and Clues

As promised, and since I've correctly guessed so many plot twists in 2x07, I’ll try my luck in speculate what will go down in the finale. But I’m putting my clown make-up on this time around, because *that scene* left me baffled and wondering if the show producers will give us anymore of that random shock value bullsh*t "Game of Thrones" style.

What's confirmed for Episode 8/Season 2 Finale?

Númenor plot: The Faithful (to the Valar) are declared traitors; and Isildur kisses Estrid and asks her to go with him to Númenor 

The Dwarves of Khazad-dûm dig out the Balrog 

The Stranger meets the Dark Wizard of Rhûn 

Battle of Eregion

Sauron vs. Galadriel 

Númenor Plot

To me, this will be one of those “Season 3 prep-up" plots of the finale. Mostly because, in Season 3, Sauron will, likely, dwell in the kingdoms of Men to find the Nine ring-bearers for his masterplan.  

"The Stranger" Identity

In Season 2 finale we’ll get the reveal of “The Stranger” identity mystery box, when he’ll find his wizard staff and earn his name. Gandalf. Because, lets’ face it, everyone saw that coming from a mile away, and ever since Season 1 there have been clues that “The Stranger = Gandalf”.  

And as I’ve said before, I’m kind of disappointed, because I was hoping for him to turn out to be one of the Blue Wizards.  

Unsure if the “Dark Wizard" identity will be revealed. But since the clownery is lose, I’ll go ahead and say the Dark Wizard of Rhûn can turned out to be Saruman, after all, even if it doesn’t make any sense, and Saruman was a member of the White Council and only joined Sauron after "The Hobbit" timeline, because why not? Apparently, everything is possible and Elves just casually kiss each other on lips, now. 

Battle of Eregion: Celebrimbor’s Death 

Celebrimbor won't come out alive from Season 2. Sadly. The big question here is: will Sauron kill Celebrimbor, himself? I've already discussed this in my "Season 2 red herrings" post, but I'm inclined to believe that "Sauron killing Celebrimbor" might be a red herring in itself. Mostly because, and even though Sauron did tortured Celebrimbor, he still has respect and admiration for him, as a fellow craftsman. And besides, Sauron hates frivolous friction and wastefulness; he’s Lawful Evil, every action of his has a purpose. I can be completely wrong here, but this is my bet.  

In the books, it is said that Celebrimbor is killed by Sauron and the Orcs turn him into a banner. But the catch is: the Orcs aren’t led by Sauron in the show, so it is possible that it’s Adar (and not Sauron) who kills Celebrimbor?  

I think we have two possible scenarios here: 

Sauron kills Celebrimbor after him disclosing the location of the Nine rings of power, and he goes after Galadriel OR because he refuses to reveal where the Nine are;

Adar kills Celebrimbor in Elrond’s presence: making come full circle Elrond’s father prophecy that, one day, Celebrimbor’s life would be on his hands, which was mentioned in both Season 1 and 2x04. 

Battle of Eregion: “Durin will come”. Or won’t he? 

I already speculated that the Dwarves would only join the Battle of Eregion in 2x08, and with the showrunners “deus ex machina” them, and have them arriving when everything seems to be lost and that all Elves are going to die (pretty much like the Knights of Rohan in Battle of Helm's Deep in “The Two Towers”).

However. There have been some references to Peter Jackson’s LOTR trilogy in “Rings of Power”, and we have Elrond telling Aragorn something along the lines of Dwarves caring only about themselves and blind to the troubles of others (even though this Elrond’s opinion has no base in what Tolkien wrote). So, will Durin, actually, come? 

My guess is: yes. Because we know neither Elrond nor Gil-galad will die, but Eregion will fall, all the same.  

Balrog of Moria - "Durin's Bane"

By bet is: Durin III, guided by his ring of power (controlled by Sauron), will dig out the Balrog himself. And like in the books, the Balrog will kill him, and earn the nickname “Durin’s bane”.

And that’s pretty much it for the Balrog plotline: the Balrog just wants to chill on the mines and be left alone.

Sauron/Galadriel - "Last Temptation"

I've already speculated about this scene quite a bit: I did a megathread on it, after all: Part 1; Part 2 (after 2x07, many of it has been erased); and some wild crack theories Part 3 and Plot Twist Kiss - I'll just throw this last one in for fun and laughs, or if someone wants prompts for fanfiction).

I’ll start by saying, Sauron and Galadriel scenes at the finale will either be: (1) a major anticlimactic letdown, or (2) mind-blowing revelations. I don’t think there will be a middle ground, here. And I would advise every shipper to go into the finale with no expectations whatsoever, in order not to get disappointed. 

What's confirmed for this scene?

Galadriel and Sauron will fight; 

Sauron wants the Nine rings of power, and Celebrimbor gave them to Galadriel in 2x07, so he’ll want to retrieve them from her.

There'll, probably, be visions, too, since 2x04 already teased the "return of King Halbrand", and Charlie Vickers said that Sauron still believes he can get Galadriel to join him.

I’ve already presented all the foreshadowing from 2x01-2x06 leading up to this scene on my megathread, so I’ll talk about 2x07, alone. So, we had: (1) the shock value E+G kiss, (2) Galadriel witnessing Adar performing a funeral ritual to the Orcs and (3) her emotional exchange with Celebrimbor, where she admits that she did want to accept Sauron’s proposal in 1x08, and she desired what he offered her (to be his queen). Then Celebrimbor tells her: "It's not strength that overcomes darkness but light. For in its presence, all darkness must flee.” 

This can foreshadow three outcomes (aside from her “Lady of the Light” character arc): 

Galadriel has found resolve, and will outright resist Sauron;

Season 1 finale rehash: Galadriel temporally succumbs, but snaps out of it;

Galadriel might believe she can actually redeem or keep Sauron “in check” with her Light, and goes with him (this one is just wild to me, but it’s one of the interpretations I took from her scene with Brimby). 

Personally, I’m guessing the “last temptation” can go down: 

The anticlimactic let-down: they fight; Sauron bombards Galadriel with visions, retrieves the Nine when she’s either distracted by his illusions or by force, Galadriel resists him, and he probably leaves her for dead or something. There: all the foreshadowing throughout the season turns out to be red herrings, and the OST title ("last temptation") isn't a red herring, at all;

The “Major revelations” scenario: Sauron and Galadriel disclose the extent of their true feelings for each other (explicitly stated or highly implied), with Sauron revealing that the connection they shared when Galadriel believed him to be “just Halbrand” wasn’t a deception on his part (“Halbrand is Sauron” also appears to be a theme this season).

Most likely scenarios on how this scene might end:

Sauron takes the Nine and leaves Galadriel for dead or badly injured; 

Sauron walks away with the Nine, leaving Galadriel unarmed and saved; 

Galadriel’s sacrifice: Galadriel reluctantly joins Sauron, to “keep him in check” and save Middle-earth.

Honestly, my expectations are so low at the moment, I’m not even going to place any bets here.

Will Adar survive Season 2?

I already did a speculation post on Adar’s fate, where I theorize that Adar will die at Sauron’s hands but not before witnessing him becoming Lord of Mordor. Right now, and after that WTF moment in 2x07, I’m not sure of anything. 

If Adar and Sauron run into each other in 2x08, I believe Adar is toasted and won’t make it to Season 3, that’s my guess. 

[revel-inbluehues]

Guys, please, I need to know where you're reading TCF, I keep getting peeks at the future chapters and I need to know the clownery that is Alberu turning the VR world into his own COD lobby. Someone give me a website to read future ahead.

[captastrophe]

🤡

To celebrate April Fools Day, Send in 🤡 (Clownery if you can't see or copy the emoji) and two of my muses will talk about your muse! Multimuses send a name otherwise some poor muse of yours might get smoke at random.

Note: Convos may be said in front of their faces, or break the 4th wall, or something else silly.

“Alright, Alter, let’s get this over with. The two Cu's are overrated. You know what they say about Cu Chulainn, right? A 'legendary hero,' who couldn’t even protect his own master. Sounds like the world’s biggest failure, if you ask me.”

“Don’t forget Cu Alter. What a joke. He thinks he’s all big and bad because he gets a little extra power by embracing his rage. But in the end, he’s just a broken dog who’s too stubborn to admit he’s not a ‘hero’ anymore. His ‘rage’ is just a tantrum, and it’s pathetic.”

“Exactly. Cu's whole ‘honor’ thing? Please. It’s just a fancy way of pretending he’s a knight. Let’s be real—he’s a glorified street brawler who only gets by because of his spear. He couldn’t protect a single thing if his life depended on it.”

“And Cu Alter's even worse. That angry, ‘cursed’ version of him is all bark, no bite. Every time he thinks he’s got an advantage, he makes things worse by letting his emotions run wild. You can’t be a real hero if you can’t even control your own rage.”

“Don’t even get me started on how he tries to act all ‘noble’ while his whole existence is built on chaos and pain. That’s not honor, that’s a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. He’s not a hero—he’s just another disaster waiting to happen.”

“Exactly. And Cu? He’d rather throw himself at his enemies in some kind of ‘honorable’ suicide mission than think strategically. If anything, Cu’s entire approach is proof that honor alone won’t win you wars—it just gets you killed. Which is exactly what happened to him, time and time again.”

“I mean, Cu really thinks he’s all that because he’s got a spear? Sure, a good weapon, but it’s not going to save you from someone who can think ahead. And what’s his answer? Run in headfirst like a wild dog. No plan, no finesse—just a big, dumb brute with a shiny spear.”

“And don’t even pretend like his ‘noble sacrifices’ mean anything. They don’t make him any less of a failure. He’s just a tragic hero who can’t let go of the past. Meanwhile, Cu Alter just embraces his flaws like they’re some kind of strength. You can’t keep being a broken tool and call it ‘strength,’ Cu.”

“Pathetic. And you know what’s even worse? Cu Chulainn’s whole ‘unbeaten in battle’ thing? He’s just another 'noble' idiot who gets a glorified reputation for being a punching bag. The whole ‘mystic’ thing doesn’t even make sense—he’s just another man who fell for the illusion of being ‘chosen.’”

“Both of them are clowns, really. Cu is just stuck in his delusions of grandeur, and Cu Alter can’t even see how much he’s lost himself. At least we understand the real cost of our actions. Cu? He doesn’t even realize he’s nothing more than a failed legend.”

@houndofcu (RIP Cu and Zerker Cu)

[ivebeencursedbygays]

Kai: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! 

Kai, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

Zane: Kai, you can do anything! 

Kai: Anything? 

Zane: Anything! 

Kai, holding a torch: ANYTHING?!?! 

Zane: Wait, not that!

Cole: Guess who just found out the difference between wax paper and parchment paper the hard way? 

Nya: Wait, what’s the difference? 

Cole: One you can use in the oven safely, and the other you can also use in the oven... if the thing you are trying to make happens to be fire.

Kai: Time sensitive question how flirt boy. 

Pixal: Throw rocks at he. 

Cole: Hot Dogs. 

Morro: Kill him. 

Kai: Thanks guys.

Nya: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges.

Pixal: You use emojis like a straight person. 

Kai: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Kai: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? 

Jay: Peonies, why? 

Kai: 

Jay: Were you going to get me flowers? 

Kai: 

Jay: 

Kai: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Jay: Wow, that was quick thinking on that phony sacrifice stuff. 

Nya: Oh, that was all real. 

Jay: Wait, you were trying to help them kill us?! 

Nya: If I’m gonna be sacrificed, I’m gonna do it right.

*The gang is about to do something dangerous* 

Cole: Shouldn’t someone give a pep talk? 

Kai: Go ahead. 

Cole: Be careful. 

Cole: Don’t die. 

Pixal: *Holds back a laugh* 

Kai: Great. We’re all bloody inspired.

Jay: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! 

Cole: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. 

Jay: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? 

Cole: Somehow that's worse.

Kai: I can’t believe my birth certificate says F... 

Kai: ...How did I fail being born?

Cole: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Zane! 

Zane: You can’t expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Pixal: You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon. 

Pixal: It's me.

Cole, in a room with Jay, Kai, and Nya: It’s calm in here. 

Cole: It scares me…

Nya: Fight me! 

Kai, standing behind them and holding a knife: *mouths* Do not.

Zane: Nya got into a fight. 

Kai: That’s bad. 

Kai: 

Kai: Did she win?

Cole: Jay, I don’t think I can handle any more of your tomfuckery. 

Jay: Oh yeah? Well I can keep going until you’re all tomfuckered out!

Kai: Is that a gun?! 

Jay: It's not what it looks like! 

Kai: It looks like a gun! 

Jay: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore. 

Kai: ...ANYMORE?!

Kai, to the Squad: I’d die for you. 

Jay: Then perish. 

Pixal: You will. 

Nya: Please don’t. 

Cole: Cool. 

Zane: I’d die for you first.

Nya: If you got arrested what would be the charges? 

Jay: Theft. 

Zane: Disturbing the peace. 

Cole: Aggravated assault. 

Kai: Arson. 

Pixal: All of the above. In that order, probably.

Nya: You know what I asked Santa for Christmas this year? 

Jay: If you say me, I swear I’ll— 

Nya: You? What? No, I asked him for that cool Ninjago Lego set we saw in Target!

Cole, texting Zane: Zane there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? 

Cole: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry 

Cole: Zane 

Cole: Zane 

Zane: Zane is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.

Pixal: A sprite is anything not static. 

Jay: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. 

Cole: A sprite is a fucking soda. 

Cole: You god damn geekass bastards.

Kai: *sighs* I have no friends... 

Jay: 

Jay: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

Zane: *tapping fingers on table* 

Cole: *taps fingers back furiously* 

Jay: …What’s going on? 

Pixal: Morse code. They’re talking. 

Zane: -.-- ..- .-. / - …. . / -.-. ..- - . … - 

Cole: *slams hands on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Jay: *finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods* 

Jay, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

Kai: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. 

Nya: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Kai, singing: I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need— 

Zane: A family. 

Cole: A better love life. 

Nya: Mental stability. 

Pixal: *clueless* Bagels?

Zane: Don't joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Jay: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. 

Kai: 

Jay: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? 

Kai: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

Nya: You think that’s cringe? Moms around the world wait 9 months just to end up naming their kid Jay. 

Jay: Hey, fuck you.

Jay: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!

Pixal: Why is Kai crying? 

Zane: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- 

Kai: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! 

Pixal: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- 

Kai: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! 

Pixal: NO, NOT THAT!

Zane: Hey, what have you two been up to? 

Nya: We were helping Kai write his vows, but he kicked us out because Cole was making inappropriate suggestions. 

Cole: How is “Jay, I love your sweet ass” inappropriate?

[astrronomemes]

TEXT POST STARTERS V

a collection of quotes and quips from popular internet posts. change & alter as needed.

"Chips are basically like, do you want to eat a potato one page at a time?"

"Your twenties are for seeing how many mistakes you can make in the shortest amount of time possible. And getting a cool haircut."

"Women love me for my eyebags and dead-eyed stare."

"I'm permanently emotionally damaged, but it's chill. I'm chill."

"I'm trying to be positive in general, but man..."

"Fuck, yeah, I'm an influencer! My content is clownery, I promote stupidity, and I'm sponsored by the circus."

"I have decided with a peaceful spirit, a loving heart, and a clear mind that some people still, in fact, need their asses beat."

"How many followers do I need before I'm considered a religion?"

"Love when emails start off with 'DO NOT REPLY'. Like, oh, yeah, way ahead of you, brother."

"Power move: Saying 'that's treason' every time someone does something that mildly inconveniences you."

"Topic jumping is an Olympic sport, and baby, I take home the gold every time."

"They don't card me at the liquor store anymore because they see all the light has left my eyes."

"How is traffic real? Like, just fucking go."

"When doctors deliver a particularly big baby, they should take a picture with it. Like it's a fish."

"If we're going on a date, don't bring your purse. I'm not going to let you pay. Just run when I run."

"Horses are a great pet for anyone who's ever wished their bicycle could make bad choices."

"One time, I served so much cunt that they put me in the psych ward."