#a lot of the characters trying desperately to get the siblings out of the cycle

[gena-rowlands]

“can we get him out?” best line of the entire show.

[feuqueerfire]

DFF Characters That Compel Me

Hard for me to say I like these characters but there are a few who I'm fascinated by and think about them often and apparently wanted to write a long post about it.

I'd love to hear if you have any characters that gave you brain rot and want to write about, especially because idk if most people have a favourite character in here? Or if they love the character? I'm curious to know how people interact with the characters in this show.

I'll talk about 3: New-Tan, Tee, and Fluke.

New-Tan

Of my top 3, the most obvious and popular one is New-Tan. I will always love a sibling bond in stories and what's better than sibling revenge? Especially delicious because New was a shit Phi to Non while they were living in the same house, didn't care about anything Non said or showed him, and probably did nothing to comfort Non when their parents looked at New more favourably. And yet, he gives up his entire self for Non: He gives up his scholarship and his education, he lies to his parents, and he constantly smokes drugs to get to see Non. He gives up his entire identity when he assumes the new role of Tan and becomes someone whose existence and purpose is to avenge Non. I liked the twist that it was actually New who was the driver behind the revenge, it felt so much more desperate. The revenge and killing also take so much patience and intelligence, whether it be the drugs or the traps or making Top the faux killer for a bit. In the end, he follows his brother's script and makes sure that they all die and nobody leaves that house.

I think a lot of love and support for New came from people's love and pity for Non because they wanted New to avenge Non. Non wasn't really a character that I felt much for, to be honest; like obviously his situation was sad but I never really thought about him when he wasn't on-screen, so I think my view of New is more about what doing all this means to New himself rather than what it means for Non.

I loved the ending for him too. As I said, he gave everything up and had nothing waiting for him out there, so it feels narratively fitting that he dies in that house with them. Before, New used to see Non tell him to take revenge and accuse him of abondoning him but here, he sees Non thank him for avenging him in his hallucinations. Then, he immediately thinks about using Uncle Dang and White as collateral, the innocents that he had to use and discard (the same way Non was), to gain that gratitude. Doesn't have much time to duel on it though because he's helpless again when he sees Non hang himself. I'm glad that the last thing New sees is Non emerging from the light to thank him before returning to the light.

Love him <3 Also look at his cute, mass-murdering face here (when Fluke shoots Top I think)

Seems like I have a lot to say, so I'll put Tee and Fluke under Read More.

Tee

In the earlier episodes, Tee was irritating as he and Top kept trying to destroy the footage, fucking ran off with the motorcycle, and were just being overall selfish and hiding things. In the past, I was softening up to Tee when we discovered that he, as a teenager, works doing shady shit for his uncle to buy meds for his father but he was still a POS.

I can't believe he covered for Top and made Non not only take the blame for it but also dragged him into the stupid gang mafia horse account shit with him. He brought Non into this world that had no way of escape, like if Non couldn't get the money, interest would continue accruing and he'd be trapped in the cycle while after he did get the money, Non was beaten and kidnapped. Non literally died in the stupid room.

Yet Tee claimed he didn't think that his uncle would truly kill Non or whatever, how stupid, how can you think that after you've worked under him? His naiveté confused me and I still wonder if it wasn't purposeful ignorance. If Tee convinces himself that he truly never guessed what could happen to Non, maybe he'll feel less guilt about what ended up happening. Selfish, selfish.

Tee felt so alone, even if he was in the group it's not like he could tell them about his side hustle (except fuckass Top). When he was consumed by guilt after Non's death, he still couldn't tell anybody what truly happened. He didn't have family to rely on, either. His scene with his father was so sad as he cried that his father was supposed to be the one taking care of him but his dad was laughing about how Tee has gray hairs now. Ah, sad.

Then, of course, he meets the only good thing in his life, White. He's such a bastard to White too, like getting his high school bf who is 2-years younger into pot lol (White was probably 15 there?), fucking leaving White to get on that bike with Top, and also his apparently uncontrollable jealousy. It seemed like such an over-the-top reaction when he reacts badly to White and Jin's acting scene in ep 1 and the fact that White's hallucination fear at the end involved Tee breaking up with him with accusations of being unfaithful? Bro, Tee, while White was brining light into your life, what the hell were you doing for White? And then of course the end, where he stabbed White... I don't even have words.

I like Tee but I'm influenced by Tee/White, sue me. I've been watching edits and been in a state of disarray because I'm so sad about this. Fucking fuck fuck. I watch series and sometimes I love a pairing and that manifests into me thinking up scenarios of them post-canon or in a missing scene in the show. Can't do that here, can I? Fuck, I was prepared for Tee to die. I needed Tee to die, I wanted him dead dead dead. I was not prepared for what the fuck they gave me, I can't believe Tee stabbed White.

Love him <3 selfish, lonely fucker who was trapped but dragged Non and White into his hell with him.

Also have this TeeWhite edit to White Ferrari by Frank Ocean. "You say we're taller in another dimension" is truly ending me fuck

Fluke

Personally, I haven't heard much discussion about Fluke but he was the first character who I got really into because we started to get to know his personality in the earlier eps while he was alone in the house with White and taking care of Por.

I got into watching shows/series through Squid Game lol and the character that most compelled me there was Sangwoo, truly another dickhead and although they're not the same at all, I still found some similarities, such as their career-related status (Sangwoo being an SNU-graduate with a great job unlike most others there and Fluke's obsession with having a clean record to become a doctor), throwing their weight around (tricking Ali and being mean/scary to White), and just their selfish tendencies in general.

Fluke was overly concerned with his reputation and didn't want the new kids to know what happened 3 years ago with Non, which is what I first picked up on about his character before we got to the flashbacks. It was so selfish; people were worried about a life-and-death situation, but Fluke could only think about his future ambitions. I remember being extremely baffled at the end of episode 4 (I believe) when he points the gun at Tee, tells the walkie-talkie to not come, and then DESTROYS it, severing their connection to the outside world and leaving them trapped with a murderer/ghost/whatever. Just so that they don't become murder suspects for Por's death? girl, I don't understand your plan but you were clearly blinded by your greed for the future.

I love seeing selfish, cowardly characters, and Fluke certainly is one. He witnessed such crucial wrongs and misdoings against Non (Top breaking the camera which started the whole damn thing and Non recording the video which broke the camel's back) but never once spoke up. He said he didn't want to become "like [Non]" meaning he was protecting his own hide by making sure there was someone more bullyable present so that they didn't turn on him. A coward and a dick. In the end, I found it fitting that he had to gouge his eyes out.

Fluke didn't ever stand up to his friends or oppose them, but his cowardly ass was ordering White around while they were alone. Also, the bravado with which he wielded the gun in the later episodes, even taking White hostage and shooting Top, but once somebody else like Tee or Phee had the gun, he was cowering, rolled into a ball with his knees to his chest. Ah, the different ways he behaves when he thinks he has the upper hand vs when he's at somebody else's mercy!

Love him, what a useless character <3 Also, if you ever need to tell your secret but don't want it to get out, just tell Fluke to get it off your chest, that man is never saying a damn thing (even if it would save someone's life).

Anyway, that's that I guess. So many words here and none of it new but I needed to write all these words out, they were haunting me.

[anonymous-tals]

So, it’s obvious that leaving their parents is what the Bluth siblings(Gob, Michael, Lindsay and Buster) need to do to improve. And, you, imagined audience member, may look at them throughout the show and think, “Why don’t they just leave their family?” Well, imagined audience member, I’ll tell you.

It would’ve taken a lot of strength for any of the siblings to leave. They’d have to confront their parents and risking more abusive vitriol being spat their way is something they have learned to try and avoid. Over and over, “deserved” or undeserved, they are berated. They’ve experienced emotional and verbal abuse their whole lives and they all are no match for their parents’ manipulation. They’d have to stay strong in their position and not succumb to their comments. Making it through victorious wouldn’t be an easy feat. We see Michael, who seems(and probably technically is) to be the most functional and well adjusted of the siblings, succumbing to the need for approval that’s been programmed into them all over the years. He gets the closest out of all of them to escaping and is the most well equipped to try and take on this challenge and yet he still fails to ever leave his family for good, alway coming back(until the finale, I like to believe he fully leaves then). And, even if they just left without saying anything, where would they go? Whether they confronted their parents or just left without a word, sure, they’d be free but they also now have no family, no friends, no money, no place to live, no job, no life skills and a lifetime of trauma they have no clue how to properly deal with weighing down on them during every waking moment. That’s not something one could easily accomplish and survive.

And, to clarify, this isn’t to excuse the behavior of the Bluth siblings. Their parents’ abuse doesn’t absolve them of all the wrong things they’ve done. What I am saying is that this scenario isn’t an easy fix. The Bluth siblings are children of manipulative people who use the trauma they gave their kids against them for their own benefit. Leaving the family would mean going out on their own with no support system whatsoever and they all need much more than just a friend and a stable job. Like, they all need so, so, so, so, so much therapy. Without some kind of support, I don’t think it would be possible or, at the very least, it would be immensely challenging to rebuild on their own(Michael probably could but I think he would struggle a lot if he were to truly never come back).

Like, for example, Gob is incredibly desperate for his father’s approval. He goes to great lengths in the hope that maybe now his dad will love him. Even with how poorly he’s treated, he always prioritized his father over everyone else and would sabotage anything good he had if it meant possibly making his father proud(nothing ever did). Gob stays in that constant cycle until we get to season five. The only time we see Gob willing to finally, truly leave his family is when he has the hope of escaping with Tony. He tells Tony how he would want to hit the road and run off together. He’d be leaving with someone; and that someone being a person who loves and supports him. Once he has someone who can counteract that little voice telling him he can never be loved and that he’s a failure and that his parents will hate him forever if he does this so he better stop, he’s able to find the courage and strength to want to leave. A character so desperate to drop everything for even the smallest amount of positive acknowledgment from his parents and entirely firm in his unwillingness to give up the chance at being loved by people who would never give him anything even close, once with a person who would support him, was brave enough to fight to wriggle free from his parent’s oppressive reign in spite the trauma that still had him in it’s grasp; now, held a little less tightly.

All the Bluth siblings, to some extent, are aware that their parents treat them badly. As oblivious as some of them may seem, deep down, they know that they get treated poorly. Or, at the very least, they know that, in their current state, they’re perpetually unhappy. Over and over, we see them realize(Buster much less so)that they’ve fallen to their parents manipulation yet again, even when they attempt to go beyond it. There are a lot of times where we get to see how much they really are affected; seeing past the wall(or the sheer curtain) they all put up to try and protect themselves and repress and ignore the problems and matters that lay behind it(once again, with Buster, it’s much less, but he has his moments). As awful as their parents may be and as awful it feels to stay, this family is all they have. Even though it’s been nothing but terrible for them and their mental wellbeing, at least it’s something they know. It’s familiar as opposed to great unknown that would lay ahead of them if they were to leave. Escaping would be hard and possibly cause even more scarring AND now their parents will truly never love them(not that they would’ve if they stayed) or stop loving them(not that they ever truly did) so why risk putting themselves in even more pain than they’re already in? Why risk the chance that they might end up floundering even more than they are now? And, ya know, maybe their parents are right. You gotta stay in the family! You have to support the family! And, if they leave and realize that it was a mistake, they might never be welcomed back so maybe it’s worth it just to stay. It’s not that they’re taking the easy way out by not confronting their problems(which they obviously do need to do). They’re taking the safe way, doing all they can to survive under the expectations put upon them and avoid being subjected to even more abuse from their awful parents. When they try and stand up for themselves, it almost certainly sentences themselves to more abhorrent treatment, the confrontation not even guaranteed to lead them anywhere and, if it’s does, might not lead anywhere good. In the Bluth family, it seems a lot more worth it to suffer in silence than rock the boat.

[linkspooky]

Saw that post where you explained your different personal interpretations for Maki, and I enjoyed reading.

Which makes me wonder if you have any interpretations about Mai that differ from the fandom? Although there probably isn’t much since Mai had a very minimal role, but it would be nice to still hear about it.

Well yes, I think the fandom overall sleeps on Mai. She is actually a pretty well developed character despite having limited screentime, because her motivations, flaws and relationships with other people are all clear.

I guess the major interpretation of Mai that used to bug me a lot was that Mai was somehow abusing Maki. I mean number one she just doesn't, sibling abuse happens yes but abuse is a pattern of behavior where one victim has power over the other and regularly goes through an abusive cycle, Mai just sort of yells taunts at Maki they're not even living together at this point. This take is pretty much nonexistent now but it used to be around back in the good old days. Just to give perspective I have been reading Jujutsu Kaisen since chapter one, and involved with the fandom right around that time so I saw the takes actively as the Kyoto Battle Arc was coming out.

Mai is at the worst sort of cold and bitchy towards Maki, and taunts her by repeating some of the insults the clans hurl at her, which I imagine would be hurtful coming from your own sister who practically was the only family member who was ever loving towards you in childhood.

The whole point of the Zenin Twins relationship however is that neither of them are the good victim or the bad one, they are both coping badly with the abuse the Zenin Family hurled on both of them. That's another one a lot of people used to not even consider Mai much of a victim, because she at least had cursed technique, but from what canon gives us they were essentially in the same boat especially since Mai has such weak cursed energy. They used to both be treated as servants together, and Maki was the one who left leaving Mai behind in that environment.

There are times when Maki is a bad sister to Mai, it's just less blatant, like I've said a few times Maki's first priority seems to be herself and her pride and Mai is either an afterthought to that, or she only chooses to try to reform the Zenin for Mai's sake after changing her mind because she heard Mai's cries for help in the Zenin battle arc. either way, Maki actively distances herself from Mai all the time, she kind of has no idea why Miwa could be friends wtih Mai because she thinks Mai is mean, Mai says she basically never told Maki anything growing up and Maki doesn't' seem particularly interested in her sister's personal life. Between them Mai is clearly so aggrieved because she wants a relationship with her sister and wants to stay together, and Maki loves her sister back from she sort of loves her from a distance.

Mai's taunting of Maki is really just an attempt to get any reaction out of her whatsoever, which while it isn't good behavior and will only make things worse, she probably wouldn't be so desperate if Mai hadn't cut her off. Anyway,t here used to be this interpretation where they exaggerated Mai's treatment of Maki to make Maki even more sympathetic like even her sister didn't love her!!! Which like thankfully that went away with the Zenin Massacre Arc, because Mai's willingess to die for maki's sake, and the fact she walked straight into the Zenin compound at least proved to the fandom that Mai loves her sister even more than she loves herself probably.

I also don't like takes insisting that Mai is lazy, or Mai was doomed to die because she didn't want to be strong, honestly I still think that part where Gege had her say "You could never get stronger because of me" was bad writing and Gege nixing her because he didn't want to finish her character arc. Anyway, I hope that answers your question!

[carnivalls]

👀👀👀 who is roua and what are they getting up to w angelino??

hi again to the loveliest of judes! also so so so. roua mizani is actually an older character from no good deed that you might remember as ramona addicott. her name and background's gone through some changes, but her core interests and values have stayed the same.

without giving too much about her at large away: juve, from good intentions, was raised by her nini (grandmother/primary caretaker) since her parents were off traveling for work. juve did not feel one way or another about this except for a small hope when she was informed by her nini at some point that her parents were expecting- and that juve might get a younger sibling in the future. juve was ! Very much interested in seeing someone's self come into being in real time, and play a role in crafting it. but then of course she committed to being safi full time and had to sort of put that dream away, to her vague regret and chagrin.

well! in no good deed we learn that younger sibling turned out to be a younger brother - who went on to have his own kids - who went on to have roua and her brother dima (we also learn a little about the brother and juve's actual eventual meeting but that's needless spoilers).

and roua is soooo interested by her great aunt.

more specifically, roua is so interested by juve's notes on shifting and the three branches of magic and even slightly sociopathic observations on people at large (that by the aftermath of good intentions juve is not even quite so loyal to anymore). and roua is both very interested in further researching juve's 'findings' (that there's fluidity between the branches, that one can actually learn and adopt the other, etc) and is already upholding her beliefs on other people (as subjects for personal gain). roua is not getting out of the dang cycle girl

this corresponds pretty wonderfully to angelino's own aims as well: to make a name for himself by breaking free of the three-branch system as well, and create a new form of magic. he's also found some of juve's notes by sheer chance: and paired with her descendant, they're very keen to build on them (and disregard the human parts where juve's like growing as a person and stuff).

it's actually pretty bad bc at least where juve's whole thing was oversimplifying and projecting onto other people, trying to understand them through becoming them and making them fit Her mold of them as a result, roua is much more detached from other people at large - she sees them more as flippant means for an end, potential experiments to help wider Humanity advance. roua doesn't care about humans, but rather the vague notion of humanity - the scientific field at large. the cycles have just gotten Worse.

paired with angelino's willingness to use other people to further personal gain, and cope to himself that he's doing this as an act of mercy towards them by taking people who weren't doing anything with their lives and letting them be a part of something ultimately greater - they're truly a dream team. especially when we factor in angelino's religious upbringing vs roua's Clear Cut Science, angelino's trying to get back at his community vs roua totally disinterested and disconnected from hers, angelino desperate to have control vs very much needing roua for practical matters, angelino maintaining this is a necessary sacrifice and also an act of mercy to the others vs roua operating under no such delusions but rather just wanting to see What Happens and the others happen to be part of the experiment...... fun fun fun! cue a lot of exciting debates.

also the two of them do like. canonically have a vibe. along with being straight & weird about it. maybe just the fact that they've each finally found someone to respect

[aquilamage]

got to Five Pebbles in Hunter!!!!!!!! (screams)

so he yoinks NSH's neuron and is like hm. interesting. I could use this. but it looks like it was made specifically for Looks to the Moon, who's doing a lot worse than me. She (first time this game has pronouned them, lol) is not too far from here, "much shorter than customary. A circumstance that has led to some difficulties between us"

"some difficulties" is a hell of a way to phrase it, you little shit, but yeah! Also, he's talking about Looks to the Moon!!!!!!! Something I have very much wanted from the game so!!!

"I am not without responsibility for her situation." Once again, you don't fucking say, but also! Freely admitting to what he's done in a situation where he absolutely could have left that out! (Also like, helps confirm this is pre-survivor Looks to the Moon died after the shit that went down in those Sky Islands pearls)

"It would only be suiting that I aided in this...rescue mission." And then some stuff about you're fucking dying. I was not equipped to help before shit went fucked but I can help a little, and then he adds some cycles!

"You do not have much time. It is admirable what you choose to do with it" <- this shit fucks with me because a) It immediately reminded me of Looks to the Moon's very similar comment to Hunter and aaaaaaaa tiny sibling parallel and also b) it says a lot about him that he would have that interpretation of the events when he could be thinking something else like that we're foolish or stupid or wasting what we have and AUGH

"Send my regards" FIVE PEBBLES I AM BITING YOU. Send my regards. How exactly?!? You little fuck you go write your sister a pearl letter right the fuck now I will sit my little slugcat butt on your floor and WAIT! agdj;bfdkgrrr

Anyway then he says "Thank you little creature" which I have to assume is about the fact that I'm trying to help Looks to the Moon and therefore I am screaming!!!

Fuck! He's such a good character!!!!!!!! If it weren't for the fact that I'm severely biased for Looks to the Moon and he hurt them I would be calling him the "they did nothing wrong (said fully knowing they did all that shit)" fandom term I forget what it is.

Like despite everything he did he still cares about his sibling and wsdklsfdlkasflkj LET THEM TALK! GAME! I'm that reaction image drawing of a person on all fours with red eyes and something clutched between their sharp teeth and then they violently shake their head back and forth holding the thing!!!!!!!

So yeah now I'm gonna circle back around to Looks to the Moon and resurrect her. I am soooo desperately hoping this is gonna trigger some kind of new dialogue because fuck! Even without direct communication if it turns out she does now know that Five Pebbles helped!?!?!? I will tear myself open about that.

Currently I am traveling with NSH's neuron and also a pearl I accidentally stole from Five Pebbles' room. (I dropped what else I was holding and grabbed it trying to get the other thing back. He said "Yes, help yourself. They are not edible." which I am interpreting as being said in the most hilariously dry voice possible). I had no idea you could actually take his pearls and am now both in general curious what it says and also wondering if having something of his will trigger a reaction from Looks to the Moon about seeing him that just showing up might not.

After that though I'm planning on going to a backup save from just before this and stealing one of Five Pebbles' neurons to see if a) that would also revive Looks to the Moon (current hypothesis is no especially after Pebbles saying the other neuron was specifically formatted to help her) and b) if it gives different regular neuron-giving dialogue than in Survivor and Monk.

Also I saw the Hunter Five Pebbles dialogue twice because the first time I accidentally stayed in too long and he killed me about it. The second time through I tried to see if he would react to NSH's pearl and had that out and the neuron in my stomach (when I had it the other way around before), but he just made me spit out the neuron and didn't react differently. So now I gotta also check and see what he has to say if I show up without the neuron at all.

[vyeoh]

this is your chance: wax poetic about an Empires or DSMP character of your choice to a fan who is new to both. Explain why I should love them. I need guidance in this new and meme-populated land.

okok this is a lot of pressure haha. Spoilers for EmpiresSMP and DreamSMP below, obviously. I wrote a lot so prepare yourself, anon

I watch a lot of empires POVs but the ones I most anticipate every week are Scott and Sausage.

c!Scott (I'll call him Smajor for the sake of simplicity) starts off the series chilling, not really getting involved with the rest of the server, and staying aggressively neutral. After all, he's an elf. He has lived far longer than most of the other rulers already, and will most likely outlive them for many years. So, the best thing is to stick to his mountains and not get invested in the dealings of mortal affairs, maybe sometimes causing problems on purpose and dipping because what's life without a little spice right.

But then, this demon comes to the server, Xornoth. He's going around causing havoc and wants to send the world into an eternal winter, but he doesn't bother the kingdom of Rivendell much so Smajor stays tentatively cautious but ultimately unbothered. But then, the puzzle pieces start falling together. The first thing that the audience noticed was was Xornoth sounded like Smajor, but we mostly thought that this was just due to cc!Scott voicing both of them and there was nothing more to it. However, then, the people the demon starts possessing start chanting in elvish. The demon hates mortals, and the elves are conveniently one of the two confirmed not fully mortal races in Empires.

This culminates when Smajor stumbles across a cave that contains the backstory of the patron god of Rivendell, Aeor. Basically, there's two opposing forces, Aeor and Exor, and both have a champion. In a previous life, those champions were two brothers, where Aeor eventually prevailed and banished Exor. In this life though, the champions are - you guessed it - Smajor, and the demon Xornoth.

So now Smajor is like. Well fuck. It's my literal god-given destiny to be responsible for defeating this demon who is technically my brother, and if I fail the server gets plunged into an eternal winter. And I have no fucking clue what is happening because I've just been here on this mountain actively trying to stay out of the issues outside my kingdom. We watch him panic and teeter on the verge of spiraling for an entire episode, and when the followers of Xornoth go to the End to kill the dragon, releasing Xornoth's full powers, he fails to stop him. Smajor is a character who was used to being the smart one, the prepared one, the one who has the least deaths on the server. But he's also a character who runs away from his problems and ignores them. Before and during the dragon fight, we hear the desperation in his voice, as he's thrown into a situation he is wholly unprepared for, and it's bigger than him going to the Cod Empire to kill their king, or assisting in other people's plans to kill the codfather. He can't run from this. cc!Scott plays this scene so well as well, as I've said before, one of the best parts of Scott's acting is how he's never super dramatic, but he's so effective in the little things like inflection to make you feel, viscerally, the panic and dread.

So after the dragon fight, Smajor realizes, I can't do this on my own. I've tried and failed. So he gets allies. We watch him, someone who has so strongly been an isolationist, learn the benefits of allies and watch him learn to trust others and watch him learn how to get that trust in return.

My favorite thing about Smajor's characterization is that he's an incompetent protagonist, but not in the way of the "plucky young adventurer". He's capable skill-wise, and fairly jaded and very pessimistic. However, his issue is that up until recently, he did not care about the rest of the server at all, and by the time he learned to, it was way too late.

Also, in 3rd Life, cc!Scott and cc!Jimmy were canonically married and they reference it sometimes in Empires. Like, Scott goes over to the Cod Empire every so often both in and out of character to kill and/or flirt with Jimmy, the ruler of the Cod Empire, which may develop as a secondary plot into the future who knows. So ty Scott for giving the gays what they want o7

Now onto Sausage: his is a story of Icarus, his hubris and ambition being his downfall. He's one of the two followers of Xornoth, who promised him endless power in exchange for his servitude. He started the series being eccentric, but not outright unhinged, but slowly gets more and more extreme as the series progresses, as he gets brought more and more to Xornoth's side.

One of the best parts of Sausage's character, in my opinion, is how his gradual corruption affects the people around him. Initially, he got into a conflict with the Cod Empire and was allied with two other people in the Witherrose alliance. They were allies, but also close friends. The fandom liked to joke that the three had sibling energy, and I'm pretty sure the ccs played to that even more lol.

It was painful to watch the other two members, Gem and fWhip, watch Sausage get corrupted right in front of them, and see them desperately clinging on to this old idea of Sausage in their head because if they faced the truth, it would mean that their friend was gone. Eventually, they do finally cut him out of the alliance, leading him to fully commit to the side of the demon. Sausage felt very clearly betrayed by this, and declared the remaining two Witherrose alliance members to be enemies.

He gets more and more possessed, and we even see the other Empires, his enemies even, slowly realize that something is very wrong with the ruler of Mythland. He starts doing more and more evil things, like killing people more, making sacrifices to the demon, and eventually helping to kill the dragon to free Xornoth. So things are good for Sausage, for a bit. He won, and is more powerful than ever. Then he finds out: he's going to die. Xornoth's possession is slowly killing his soul, and eventually, his body going to be fully taken over and he himself is going to be trapped in the spirit realm. So how do you react to this? Over the next few episodes, we watch Sausage struggle between "the demon is literally killing me" and "the demon has given me so much, and I love it", all while Xornoth takes over more and more of him. We hear him exclaim that "don't worry!! I'm still about 15% there!" while trying to downplay every time Xornoth completely takes over his body. We watch him willingly oppose anyone who is trying to end the thing that is killing him.

My favorite thing about Sausage is that he is undoubtedly evil and proud of it, but he's also undoubtedly human. If you like to watch evil characters go absolutely feral, he's the guy for you. He makes the deal with Xornoth in the beginning, knowing and fully embracing the evilness of the demon, but at the same time he knows what he's doing is detrimental to both himself and everyone around him, but he's gotten in way too deep at this point, and to be fair the demon has held up its end fo the bargain, right?

Also, I would be damned if I don't talk about cc!Sausage's editing. Every one of his videos is like a movie. The way he does camera angles and uses music is so skillful- every lore scene feels like something out of a high fantasy action saga (think: LotR). Every big lore event I always wait in anticipation for Sausage's ep because his editing truly takes lore to another level.

I'm just generally very excited to see where this series goes. Empires is such a good mix of talented builders and good lore. Part of the reason why the series is so immersive for me, beyond any other lore smp, is that they have the settings to back it up. There is a certain charm to the DreamSMP's objectively terrible builds (with a few exceptions) but in Empires, the settings help sell the plot so much.

Another part of why I love EmpiresSMP is how much the ccs are involved with the fan community. I'm sure you've seen the memes about Scott being on tumblr, and Sausage regularly goes through the EmpiresSMP fanart tag on Twitter and likes art, even ones not related to Mythland. Most of the ccs, in fact, have brought up tumblr content on stream at some point or another. Like, several ccs have said that they read tumblr lore theories and hcs and stuff and sometimes take inspiration from them. Fun fact: Rivendell's church was inspired by my pinned drawing; confirmed by Scott Smajor himself. It's just such a good cycle of ccs and fans being excited about each other.

As for DreamSMP, I'm gonna be honest here, the only person I really am invested in in Technoblade. I started watching when he joined the server, and he's the only person whose lore I keep up to date with.

Techno's fun to watch because he's like the Deadpool of DreamSMP. Virtually unkillable, very skilled and scary, but consistently cracks jokes and breaks the 4th wall during plot. His POV is just fun. Like, he does wild plans and gives speeches and some of the stuff that happens to him should be called deus ex machine if it wasn't for the fact that Technoblade is the one who's doing it, and all the stuff is grounded in the fact that cc!Techno is just that good at the game.

However, the fact that he rarely takes anything seriously makes the few times Techno is 100% serious so much more impactful. His whole character has a basis in being perceived as inhuman and being treated as such, and therefore in return trying to hide his humanity. So, when he shows that humanity, whether that's fear, anger, or genuine love for his friends, it really makes you go "oh shit."

Techno's often said not to have character development, but I'd argue that while he remains steadfast in his moral code, he develops leaps and bounds as a person. Like, at the beginning, he's brought onto the server to help Wilbur and Tommy overthrow a government; them knowing he's 1) an anarchist and 2) very very powerful. His character was more of a plot device at that point and was treated as such in the canon. Wilbur and Tommy straight-up lie to him about their plans to establish another government after they overthrow the current one, while he was led on to believe that they were abolishing all governments in the area. But he isn't a plot device. He's a person, as much as he only shows the terrifying, blood god side of himself.

After the establishment of New Lmanburg (the new government its a long story), his friend Phil joins. And for the first time, we see him be fully human with someone and we see someone treat him like a human. Like, we saw glimpses before, with Wilbur and Tommy in Pogtopia, but Phil is the first person we noticeably see he trusts 100%. Then Doomsday happens, and Techno essentially retires to the tundra. During this time, we see Techno learn to be more human, first with Ranboo, then Niki when he establishes the Syndicate. In fact, the two of them, along with Phil, canonically throw him a birthday party, which is a far cry from his treatment in Pogtopia.

Techno's development is one of a god learning to be human, and I just think he <3

[tinamaetales]

Break Free

A reflection on the k drama “My Liberation Notes”

“What’s harder than living is finding the reason to” – Freedom by iKON

Freedom. Liberation. Deliverance. Discharge. Get Loose. Release. Break Fee. These words all convey the same idea – to be free from something. But when does one feel like they want to get out of something? When does one feel like they are in a state of confinement? As someone who lives in a democratic country with privileges to enjoy, I have never really thought to myself as a captive or detainee of life until I lie alone on my bed one night and feel suffocated. As I looked at the plain ceiling of my bedroom, I realized how overwhelming my life has become. I realized that in my 26 years of existence I was never really satisfied with how I am living my life. And it’s crazy how while writing this paragraph I can already hear people around me saying “You’re just an ungrateful bitch. Others have it worse” But does others’ “worse” situation than me should be enough reason to invalidate what I am feeling? Now, more than ever, I crave for freedom. I want to be free. I want to be liberated from all these burdens I am carrying. Just like how Mi Jeong in the k drama My Liberation Notes wanted.

Browsing through the clips from the k drama My Liberation Notes has sparked my interest into watching it. Although I’ve read some comments that sometimes it can get boring, I already know that I will be watching it. My sister decided to watch it first though, and she told me that I might be able to relate to it but it can also somehow bore me. Then, I decided to watch it. I have never found a single episode boring or dragging and instead I find it painful. The k drama hurt me by how it mirrors my life. At first, I thought I could only relate to Mi Jeong’s character but then I slowly found pieces of myself in each of the characters.

I do not want to spoil any parts of this k drama as it is very raw and rich and it would be unfair for people who have yet to watch it to be spoiled by its beautiful yet painfully realistic story so, please bear with me if the way I discussed it seems to be vague.

The main characters in this k drama are the three Yeom siblings who are all working in Seoul but still live with their parents in the countryside which is why they spent a lot of their time traveling to and from work (basically like how most Filipinos who work in Manila are experiencing but the big difference is that at least South Korea has a better transportation system while the Philippines…. Oh well, pure fucking hell). One of the characters even said “If I die it will be because of commuting to Seoul for work” and all I can say is “Same, girl” lol. Anyway, with the way they live their everyday lives, I can definitely feel the exhaustion and the feeling of numbness. The Yeom siblings are a great representation of the kind of struggles young adults are facing – sometimes life is a cycle of trying to survive that will only leave one feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I guess one of the most relatable lines from this drama is when Gi Jeong said “I’ve been so impatient lately. I just want to die already. After 14 years, my job is the same, the meetings are the same, and the people are the same. I curse and get mad the same way. It’s all the same endless repetition” The way the siblings live their life makes me feel like crying because somehow, I live like that too. It mirrors my reality. Like I mentioned a while ago, in this k drama you will not just relate to one character as you will slowly find pieces of yourself in each of the main characters.

The eldest, Gi-Jeong is a hopeless romantic woman in her late 20s (or I guess early 30s? not really quite sure with the characters’ ages) who just wants to find a companion that will love and care for her and at the same time she can love and care for.  While at first as a viewer one will find her “desperation” to seek a relationship a bit pitiful, somehow you will learn to understand her. There are days when you feel like you need a different form of release. Like you want to vent to someone that is not a family or a friend… a someone whom you can call home because that someone can understand your soul. Maybe that was also the hopeless romantic in me speaking but yeah, I can totally understand what Gi Jeong is feeling. Although being in a relationship is not a priority for me, there are moments in my life when I feel like the thought of it can be good. Just like Gi Jeong said “Getting to know someone is an amazing thing. It’s not just that person. It’s like they bring several universes with them”

The middle child, Chang Hee, is a hardworking guy who just wanted to be financially secure but it seems like opportunity is elusive. Among the Yeom siblings, Chang Hee is the one who has the most growth by the end of the series and I am proud of him for that. At first, he might be a bit annoying as he is very vocal and is not shy in expressing what he feels. But maybe the feeling of annoyance by Chang Hee’s boldness is more of a feeling of jealousy because at least he can express what he truly feels. Even though he might appear to be ranting, at least he knows how to express himself. And I realized that he has every right to do so. The man has been working hard for years and yet the rewards of his labor seem to not go his way. I can truly relate to the frustrations he is feeling. If one is trying to live their best every single day even though it’s difficult and yet there seems to be no progress, then that person has every right to feel frustrated too. Chang Hee is hard working and yet he seems to not know what he really wants in life. At one moment he even said “I don’t have a specific goal in my life…..Can’t I just live my life without one?” which I find relatable because our society has groomed us to have a specific direction to go to in life which made most of us miserable when we couldn’t find our purpose. Why can’t we just live our life without the pressure to become somebody or something? Is it not enough to live life in a way that could make us feel satisfied? I just want to be financially stable and have the freedom to do things my way. Anyway, another line I like from Chang Hee is “I guess I have been putting up a façade with people. Now that I’m alone, I’ve become so calm and gentle”

Then the youngest one is Mi Jeong, the character I can relate to the most especially when she said the lines “I am not unhappy but I am not happy either” and “It feels like I’m stuck but I don’t know how to get out. That’s probably why I hope everything ends all at once” because it was such a perfect way to describe what I am feeling most of the time. She is an introvert girl who works as a contractual employee in a card design company that has a culture for extroverts. The company requires (but sometimes I feel like they force) their employees to join a club in order for them to have some hang out time outside of work. While I find this culture quite fun and interesting because it seems that the company wants their employees to have a life outside of work, I somehow find it a bit burdensome especially for employees who are just introverted in nature. I felt a bit sad for Mi Jeong as well as her three other co-workers every time they are being called to join a club. I do understand their sides though as I am a bit of an introvert myself. Not everyone has the time and energy to interact with people for a long period of time. Sometimes, people just want to have their peace and solitude through being alone and I hope people would respect that. I remember the times when I was still a newbie at our Department, I got so “culture shocked” by the culture of our division. The way it was required to participate in the dance performances for the Christmas party as a way of initiation for the newly hired scared me. It scared me because I do not like parties and socialization at all. Then there are moments when I feel like I have to join my colleagues at dinners even though all I want is to go home and be left alone. But in my defense, I just want to be alone most of the time and because I live 2 hours (sometimes 3 hours if the traffic is really heavy) away from work so I just want to go home right after work not because I dislike my coworkers. In those moments, I relate to Mi Jeong the most. She did not want to join any club as she lives far from her workplace. And also, what is so bad about not wanting to join dinners and parties after work? Maybe people like Mi Jeong and I just want to do things differently. Mi Jeong even said “Everyone is on their way to their graves so why is everyone so happy and excited?” But since this k drama has a very realistic approach, of course Mi Jeong and her three colleagues have no other choice but to give in to their company’s demand so instead of joining a club, they decided to form their own, The Liberation Club, which I guess is a blessing in disguise. This club brought together the three people who are all fighting their own silent battles and through this club they are able to work on expressing themselves so that eventually they can liberate themselves. Hence, the rule of The Liberation Club is simple: I will not pretend to be happy. I will not pretend to be unhappy. I will be honest.

And since Mi Jeong is the character I relate to the most, allow me to discuss her further. Yeom Mi Jeong might appear to be a sad soul who just wants to be left alone most of the time (like me) but there are moments in life that she questions life in general like when one of her narrations asks “There was only one thing I was curious about: What am I? Why am I here?” The moment she realizes she wants to seek liberation is the moment that touched my heart the most. People like Mi Jeong are often misunderstood by the society because of the sad outlook of life but maybe that happens because one’s feeling of emptiness may manifest itself in the form of self-isolation. Not everyone in this world gets the privilege to wake up one day and realize what they want to be. There are people like Mi Jeong and I who struggle to find meaning in life. And maybe Mi Jeong was right when she said that “Sometimes, I think that people who are damaged are much more honest than those who live their lives happily” because for damaged people like us, there really is no need to pretend that everything is fine that is why we can easily welcome our demons – but defeating them is a whole different story. Mi Jeong is definitely the character that means the most to me.

While the Yeom siblings are the main characters of this show, there are also some characters in here that I find relatable. First is their childhood friend, Du Hwan, who is a coach of a school’s football team and owns a café. Like the Yeom siblings, he seems to be stuck in his life and there are moments when I feel like he wants to be liberated too – he just does not have the courage to make a move. Hyun-ah, another childhood friend of theirs, who seems to be carefree among them all and yet she is also stuck. When she said “I only feel alive when I exhaust myself completely. If I have energy left, I feel heavy” it hurts me. Learning about her life made me feel bad for her as she is fighting her own demons yet putting up a façade that she’s fine. Then there comes the mysterious Mr. Gu. Nobody really knows who he is, even his real name and yet the Yeom family trusts him. Mr. Gu is a very dependable guy at the family business and farm. He is the Yeom patriarch’s right-hand man. He helps a lot in the family business as well as in the farm. He is a quiet person who just helps with the work every day, eats with the family every breakfast, lunch and dinner, and just goes back to his rented house to quietly drink alone. He seems to be living a dull life and drinking alcohol is his only way of finding peace. But like most people, there really is more than just meets the eye.

Mr. Gu, like I have predicted early as I was watching the k drama, is a person who is escaping the demons he has to face. He got lucky to have found a family in the Yeom’s residence. The work he does in the furniture business as well as in the farm of the Yeom’s family seems like a sweet escape from the life that felt like a torture to him. The detour he did ended up being one of the best things to happen in his life – if only he had the willingness to help himself get out of the damnation he is in, then maybe he would not have depended on alcohol so much. In a way, Mi Jeong and Mr. Gu are alike. Both are stuck in the kind of prison that they do not know how to get out of. I am happy that they have found each other and, in a way, have helped each other grow. But then, Mr. Gu was right when he said “That’s how life is. It seems to go well and then stabs you in the back. Did you think it was always going to be peachy?” Because in life, in order for things to truly change, one must take the initiative to do so. Even a small step can help. It all begins with a small step – acknowledge your demons first then work your way towards defeating them. And I hope that Mr. Gu will continue to take those small steps so that eventually he can get liberation too.

 This k drama makes me realize that life in general is fast paced and sometimes there are people like me who will be left behind and if I do not take the initiative to pick myself up and at least try to run along with life then I will always be stuck. But how can one be able to break free if she has no idea about what kind of prison she is in? There are times when I feel like this k drama, although I can relate to it a lot, has left me with more questions than answers and it is really up to me to make a move so I can be liberated. Let me end this blog post with a quote from Mi Jeong “I wish I was genuinely happy and be able to say things like ‘Yes, this is life’ ‘This is what life is all about’”.

 X,

TinaMae

PS, to anyone who reads this, I hope that whatever demons you are facing, you can defeat them. I hope that you can be free from the kind of prison you are in. Life is all about moving forward, so please hang on and keep on moving forward. Thrive on.

PPS, song recommendations: Freedom by iKON, Jet Black Heart and Permanent Vacation by 5 Seconds of Summer

[asgardiansofthegalaxyvol3]

So... Sam and Bucky were an unlabeled item in the past, it’s really the only thing that makes sense. Like just heat me out. Spending a lot of time together because of Steve. Then “Steve visits Bucky in wakanda” and just doesn’t bring Sam? Highly unlikely. And Sam, bless his heart, sees the best in everyone. So now he’s making small jokes to cheer up Steve’s sad one armed brainwashed puppy dog eyed friend. And Bucky really loves the ‘making fun of Steve’ jokes, so now it’s something just the two of them do together. And then they’re spending more time together, and the feelings begin.

But neither of them say anything, because why would they? Bucky’s from the 40s and probably not into dudes, and even if he was he’s Steve’s best friend so that would make things weird if Sam makes a move and gets rejected. And Sam is Steve’s best friend and actually one of the few people Bucky enjoys being around so he can’t make a move because getting rejected would mean he loses too much. So they just dance around it.

And somehow or another it just happens and WOW it’s amazing. But then Steve is going back in time, asking Bucky to come with and Bucky just can’t do it. Because Sam might not be serious about him right then and there, but maybe if he tries extra hard Sam will love him the same way someday. Besides, the past is a bad place full of bad people and bad food, and he actually likes having technology. And who would ever love him in the 40s with that vibranium arm? No he needs to stay and protect Sam.

But then Steve is gone and Bucky just needs a little time alone to cope. He can’t be so serious with Sam, even though he’s desperate to cry in his arms, because he can’t risk scaring him away. And then Sam gives away the shield, the last bit of family Bucky has left and it’s like Sam giving Bucky away. Throwing him out like he means nothing. And maybe that’s true, because now Bucky is questioning Sam and Steve and himself. And the cycle amplifies and repeats and he’s ignoring texts, because how can Sam just pretend like everything’s fine when he clearly doesn’t care for Bucky at all?

And then Walker comes on TV, spouting on about Steve and Bucky just snaps. He goes down to give Sam a piece of his mind, only to get sucked into those beautiful brown eyes again. And Sam is going on a mission, and how can Bucky let him go alone? He might get hurt, he might die. So Bucky goes with, despite the protests. And he begrudgingly accompanies Sam because he can’t bare to let him get hurt, and all the feelings start flooding back and he’s trying his hardest not to let it affect him.

Because the staring problem is probably what started it all. Bucky looking at Sam like he personally hung all the stars and moon in the sky, and Sam calling him out on it, but gently, because he can’t stomach seeing that look of adoration on the man’s face without kissing him. But then they do kiss, and it goes from there. And now it aches every time Sam throws it back in Bucky’s face.

And Bucky locking eyes to ask Sam to break the law for HIM again, making it seem like Sam did it for him last time not for Steve. And Sam just agrees, even though it is clearly a terrible plan. And the way they stood together at Tonys funeral, obviously seeking comfort in each other. And the “are you still having those nightmares?” “All the time.” When did they talk about that? How did it come up? I would like to imagine Bucky had a bad dream in bed with Sam, but even if it’s not that, it still means they TALKED about it at some point. Like they talked about Sam’s boat, since Bucky was like “so this is the boat” or whatever he said. When did they talk about all this? They are clearly comfortable with each other.

“I don’t want to make it weird for your family.” Your FAMILY, not for YOU. Why would this situation be weird for them, Bucky? They all clearly like you. Sarah’s being polite. The boys play in the room while he’s asleep. None of them are afraid of Bucky, so what exactly would make it weird? My siblings coworker/friend spending the night? Not weird. My siblings Ex that’s still in love with them spending the night? A little weird.

Plus the ‘why didn’t you use the metal arm?’ ‘I’m right handed’, no. Bucky just wanted the excuse of patting Sams hip and crowding close to take the wrench. And Bucky waiting for the perfect opportunity to lift that thing out of the truck means he was standing off to the side, watching Sam. Maybe he wanted to see if the Sam he loves is the same Sam everyone else gets to see. Or maybe he just wanted to spend a little extra time with Sam before he delivered the box because he was gunna have Sam ‘sign for it and I’ll leave’

But the early morning boat scene is absolutely a dead give away. Switch one character out for a woman and it reads as obvious sexual tension. The way Bucky goes for Sam’s hip again and stops, like he’s comfortable doing it but forgot he can’t. Their eye contact from across the motor? Sam staring, and Bucky looking up at him through his eyelashes and then away again because it’s just too intense. Because they could easily just... fall back into their routine. Because he’s finally realizing that Sam didn’t throw him away like he thought, but it was him that pushed the distance between them.

And Bucky apologizes, and he holds Sam’s hand, and he tries to do little things to let Sam know the door is still open if he can forgive him enough.

[kinncman]

A LIST OF PLOTLESS TOWN RP-FRIENDLY CHARACTER IDEAS & CONNECTIONS INSPIRED BY MOVIES! (PART 1)

click here for part two.

i collected a couple of plot ideas from some of the movies i thought had interesting stories or characters that i hope can help you with your applications / character connections. please note that a lot of these are, by no means, the actual plots of the films and are only inspired by them. i’ve taken the liberty of making a couple of edits for them to be ‘plotless town rp-friendly’. also, i would’ve separated them by category (platonic, romantic, familial, etc.) but tbh a lot of these can be taken in any way so feel free to put your own spin on them, too, or even make combinations!

trigger warnings: nothing too specific, but there are light mentions of death, road accident, infidelity, illness, injury, drug addiction.

now, without further ado:

BAY OF ANGELS  // muse a met muse b on a vacation several years ago, brought together because they were both from the same home country and realized that they were traveling to run away from something. muse a came to learn that this wasn’t muse b’s first rodeo, and where this was the first time that muse a had tried to run away from their problems, muse b had been running for most of their life. muse b initially wished to emulate the same free-spirited, high-risk-high-reward principles that muse a lived by. however, muse b started to display totally erratic behavior that prompted muse a to question whether they were making the right choices. eventually, they went home. jump to present day where they meet again in their home country— muse b has toned down somewhat due to a traumatic event (a hard lesson to learn for them) meanwhile, muse a’s life remains the same cycle of events they can’t seem to break free from.

CLEO FROM 5 TO 7 // muse a suspects they are sick but refuses to go to the doctor to have it checked. most of their days are plagued with this feeling of doom enshrouding them, causing them to have a general distaste for life. they meet muse b who has profoundly positive disposition towards life. their company helps muse a to come to terms with the fact that perhaps their illness is something they should deal with. with muse b’s help, muse a starts to find meaning in death.

HAPPY OLD YEAR // muse a left town / the country for college, leaving behind all their friends and family, cutting all ties in a heartbeat, only to come back several years later a completely changed person who subscribes to the idea of minimalism and wants to get rid of all the clutter in their life, material or otherwise. this brings them to reconnect with muse b (and a variety of other muses if the mun wishes) when they find their old belongings and return them in order to be ‘minimalist’ and get rid of all the garbage in their home, which means getting rid of memories, too. however, muse b, who has now moved on from muse a and is with someone else, isn’t too pleased with having muse a back in their life. muse a is desperate to find the closure that muse b isn’t giving them, primarily because muse b knows that muse a is after starting over on a clean slate only to clear their conscience and not to make amends.

YI-YI: A ONE AND A TWO // muse a and muse b were each other’s first and greatest loves but are currently married to other people. when they are reunited through a chance encounter, they decide that it’s better to have each other in their lives as friends than not at all. they realize they still do have feelings for each other but because of their spouses, know that they can never be anything else other than friends. thus begins a journey of trying to bring their old selves back into the light as new people.

MIKEY AND NICKY // muse a and muse b are best friends since childhood. muse a is neurotic, childish, and wildly impulsive, and often has to depend on muse b to get them out of trouble only to show very little gratitude for it, much to muse b’s chagrin. in fact, muse b often finds themself thrown under the bus in muse a’s favor, though it’s not entirely muse a’s fault: muse b is an enabler. however, muse b can’t quite seem to quit muse a (either because they love the feeling of being needed and there’s no one who needs them more than muse a or maybe they’ve been in love with muse a since childhood— or both) until a certain event causes muse b to question whether they are healthy for each other at all.

IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE // muse a and muse b are neighbors, both living with their significant others. both muse a and muse b often see each other in the hallways or share an elevator up to their apartment when they come home from work. maybe they even carpool sometimes. however, they spare very little in the way of words until one day, muse a breaks down while drunk and admits that they think their partner is cheating on them. in an attempt to comfort them, muse b reveals that they think the same thing of their own partner. desperate for answers, they conduct an investigation until they realize that their partners are cheating on them with each other. muse a and muse b become each other’s support system, as they try to coach each other through an impending breakup all the while realizing that they might be developing feelings for each other and must now choose between indulging their feelings or deny themselves the hypocrisy.

TAKE THIS WALTZ // muse a meets muse b on a trip out of town and they instantly connect. they share the same flight back home and even a cab ride from the airport. however, they soon realize that muse b is muse a’s new neighbor, which makes things plenty awkward considering how a) they’ve been borderline flirty the whole time and b) muse a is married to someone who they now consider to be far less interesting in comparison to muse b. regardless, once they’ve recognized a mutual attraction with each other, muse a demands for muse b to keep their distance, only to keep running into each other everywhere, much to muse a’s chagrin.

LAST LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE // muse a is witness to a terrible road accident involving a pedestrian. muse a takes the pedestrian and their sibling, muse b to the hospital where muse b’s sibling is declared dead on arrival. despite being total strangers, muse a stays with muse b through the entire process. eventually, muse a takes muse b home but muse a refuses to let muse b leave, claiming they don’t want to be left alone in the house that they previously shared with their now deceased sibling. having money troubles of their own and on the brink of an eviction, muse a ends up staying with muse b not just for the night but for the week until they get comfortable enough with each other that muse b invites muse a to officially live with them to help with their financial problems, but mostly because they don’t know how to handle their grief alone.

THE FALL // muse a is in an outpatient physical rehabilitation facility after suffering from a near-fatal injury when they meet muse b. the pair are polar opposites in terms of their attitudes towards recovery: where muse a is more hopeful, muse b only throws pity parties for themself considering that this injury might prevent them from fully getting back to doing what they love. despite this, the two form an unlikely bond where muse b is completely enthralled with muse a, who tells them stories about their travels and their career and all the amazing things they’ve done, without realizing until they’re in too deep that they are all fabricated versions of the truth and muse b falls for every single one of them. what started as little white lies becomes a source of anxiety for muse a when the lies just get bigger and bigger.

COLUMBUS // muse a is a young, aspiring [insert career here] but to pursue this passion, they must leave their hometown, which they have constantly been refusing to do despite the numerous opportunities having been presented to them on account of the fear that no one else is going to take care of their mother (who, in the movie, is a recovering drug addict but it can be for any reason or relative in this case). muse b’s father is a well-known [insert career that muse a wants here] and is in town to hold a lecture/exhibit/performance/etc etc depending on the career, but then he suffers from a stroke. muse b, despite being estranged from their father for having been scrutinized by the man for most of their life, is forced to come to town and take care of him being their closest living relative. they meet muse a by chance, only to learn shortly after that they are a huge fan of muse b’s parent’s work. having spent their whole life in this town, muse a becomes muse b’s tour guide of sorts, while inadvertently helping each other come to terms with their relationship with their parents and how they can be kinder to themselves.

SECRET SUNSHINE // after their spouse’s passing, muse a moves from the big city to their spouse’s much, much smaller hometown so they can raise their child there. they meet all of the important figures of their spouse’s childhood including muse b, a local shopkeeper and an old friend of their spouse’s, who, despite muse a’s reluctance, helps them adjust to small town life. the pair eventually closer to each other and muse a to their spouse as they find out more about who they were before they met.

THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU // (originally lgbtqia+ and written about older characters with grown children, but make of this plot what u will, tbh) muse a and muse b are best friends. both married, both with grown kids. muse a’s spouse died a long time ago so they’ve had plenty of time to help muse b take care of their spouse in the couple of months leading to that spouse’s death. in the process, the pair have grown intimate (with muse b’s spouse’s knowledge— in fact, they encouraged muse a to ‘take care’ of muse b in the event of their passing and wouldn’t trust anyone else to do so) but haven’t told their families yet in fear of what they might think of them given their age and how they’re basically uncles/aunts to each other’s children.

[soranis-sunshadow]

Hordak can’t catch a break even on his birthday...

Oh fandom, you really like this sort of drama don’t you? 

A few days ago, on Hordak’s birthday, there was this ‘interesting’ post in the tag – since, apparently it’s impossible to get any peace even on that day.

I was  too tired to answer it at the time after being on call the day before so, here’s my delayed answer to all of that:

First off: this post has this bit in it when asked what that person dislikes about SPOP.

 He doesn’t need to get a redemption and he doesn’t get one in the show. 

None of his actions constitute a redemption arc. The man merely acknowledged his personhood and freed himself from his master and God. That’s what his arc was about: the right to have a personal identity. 

He gave himself a name and wanted to be his own person. That’s it. That’s all he wanted.

The man was merely freed from Prime’s influence- an influence he was born into since he’s been specifically manufactured to serve as a disposable mass produced soldier and worshipper of Prime.

 If the argument that Catra was “forced” to commit crimes and thus she is not completely guilty of them since she was under duress – then the argument doubly holds for a person who has been directly programmed and conditioned to do so under the threat of death or mental rape (purification).\

Even while away from Prime, he was still conditioned to obey and brainwashed by Prime’s cult. He literally knew nothing else – he was not meant to. It’s how indoctrination works.  

Prime’s clones aren’t people to Prime, they are tools. Those clones, while cut off from Prime still want to serve and please him: That’s what Wrong Hordak’s purpose in the show is- to show us just that.

Hordak is not considered “OK”  because Entrapta likes him. Hordak is merely shown – by Entrapta that he could live apart from his cult and have worth outside what Prime tells him he has. 

Just like real life cult victims, he needs an outsider to help him see a way out of the cult. The nature of indoctrination and brainwashing makes it impossible for the brainwashed person to know they are brainwashed unless someone points it out.

Now for my favorite thing:

and

oh and

Oh boy… this makes me just so damn uncomfortable.

To offer a bit of context as to why. I have never been on social media before SPOP or in any fandom and as such, I have never encountered the ‘all men are evil’ discourse that seems to infest these places. It’s been quite a bit of culture shock for me. 

What is it that makes anyone think it is ok to judge a person because of an accident of birth? (being born male)

Why does hate for 50% of the human population get such a free pass on these platforms? Misandry is just as terrible as misogyny. You are being biased against another human because of their gender. I don’t care that males are perceived as ‘privileged’ – that doesn’t make it ok to be terrible to them unprovoked. 

How does hating all men help achieve equity?

Do you realize that this sort of discourse is exactly how you radicalize people against the very cause you are championing? You breed hate and adversity for the rest of us who actually want to to have a discussion on the topic. 

I’m a feminist myself (in a country where feminism is hard-work) and let me tell you, making all men hate us does nothing but push away potential allies and make it a lot harder for our voices to be heard.

Feminism is about equality, not women dominating.

Now onto the second post: the one comparing Catra and Hordak with the question of which of them is a better person. 

This whole war orphans that were personally abducted and tortured into serving the horde HC that some ppl have is really starting to get boorish. This has been going on for more than 6 months. 

I have no idea why everyone thinks he went down chimneys and stealing babies left and right while cackling villainously. The man had a busy schedule of brooding in his lab, wallowing at his inability to use insulated cables and having his device blowing up in his face with the occasional Skype call to Shadow Weaver to see what the Horde is doing. 

And yet, to a part of the fandom, this is what he looked like:

( @bat-burrito​ made this one and it’s glorious) 

And if you don’t believe me about the lab recluse thing, you don’t have to, the show pretty much states it for me. 

and 

+

Hordak is a recluse that stayed in his lab and let the running of the Horde and most operations to Shadow Weaver and later Catra. He did not personally abuse anyone and he is not the origin of the cycle of abuse.

Shadow Weaver was a child grooming manipulative woman before she even joined the Horde – she did this to Micah while she was not “evil” or presumably abused by Hordak.

Even if you want to HC that Hordak abused her somehow, he is still not the one who started the cycle: Horde Prime is. 

The whole fandom seems to forget about the eldritch monstrosity that created a whole army of brainwashed slaves to worship and die for him. Prime is the one that sent Hordak to die and gave him the motivation to try to prove himself worthy of life and love. If you want to point fingers, point them at the origin of all of this. This fandom has a strange Prime blindness. He is never talked about when it comes to being the start of all of this.

If Prime didn’t exist, Hordak wouldn’t exist. If Prime hadn’t sent Hordak off to die, then his clone wouldn’t have accidentally ended up on Etheria. None of the things in the show would have happened.

Adora would have died of exposure in a field, the monarchies on Etheria would have continued as they are and the planet would have continued to exist in despondos. 

He is a dictator, yes. So are the princesses. Monarchies are dictatorships where the ruler is born into power. Hordak gained his through military might while Glimmer was born with hers and enforced it with tradition. I don’t really care to play “who’s the better dictator”. The princesses have their power because of the runestones- magical rocks put there by the First Ones to channel the planet’s magic and use it as a weapon. How come no one talks about that?

Do you think a king/queen keeps their crown without effort or subjugation of their subjects? 

Also, Hordak had never interacted with Catra before SW dragged her before him to be judged. He was indifferent to etherians in general and didn’t seem to care which of them were his underlings so long as the operations were running smoothly. He was more focused on his portal and returning home than on anything else. He did not set out to “ruin lives” or quest for power. What he wanted was to return to his deity and become a mindless part of the whole again – that is as opposite to power hungry as you can get.

Catra was directly abused by Shadow Weaver throughout her childhood. That makes Shadow weaver responsible for 100% of that abuse.

Catra was found in a box by Adora and adopted by Shadow Weaver. Hordak didn’t know or care that she existed.

He is responsible for the war, he is responsible for the war casualties and the property damage. He is not responsible for Shadow Weaver being a terrible person and mother figure.

Again with the orphan thing. We have 5 cadets in the show. 

Adora was found in a field. 

Catra was found in a box. Lonnie, Kyle and Rogelio are unexplained. The only lizard ppl we see in the show are in the Horde or the Crimson Wastes. The other two could just as well be the children of some of the soldiers. 

I may harp on about what a bitch Shadow Weaver is – the reason I do so is because she is legitimately terrible to the two girls in her care.

I was the unfavorite growing up, I WAS the Catra in my family who could do no right while my sibling was the golden child. I don’t however hate Shadow Weaver. She is a cartoon character in a show and she does the things she was written to do. Hell, she is a very compelling and believable villain. Her motivations are clear and she is consistent. Her voice actress portrayed her splendidly and her character design is superb. I like her but that doesn’t mean that I don’t acknowledge her role in the story. I don’t however make up parts of the story to make her more evil than she was or treat my headcanons about her as absolute fact. 

Again, sigh: Prime is the worst villain in the show. He is quite literally Nyarlathotep and does this to planets: 

 This to people: 

and this to the people he created to serve, worship and love him: 

How is that not worse?

I love Catra and it genuinely annoys me when people erase her agency or try to paint her as one-dimensional victim. Catra was an antagonist for most of the show and she rocked it! She was 400% more efficient at it than cloneboy. Give the queen some damn respect and recognition! Catra had a lot of agency and her actions moved the plot of the show more than those of the protagonists. (they were mostly reactive).

Catra pulled the lever of the portal in a moment of distress after a breakdown, a Shadow-Weaver related breakdown because that’s how trauma works.

Hordak didn’t make her do it, he didn’t send Catra after Adora either. These were Catra’s choices. They came from a place of hurt but they were her choices still.

The portal was a means of transportation, not a weapon. Building it was not Catra’s mission, it was Hordak’s. He built it so he could contact Prime and either summon him here or go home –whichever course of action Prime wanted. Again, Hordak wanted to go back to this:

...

The only person who knew the device was dangerous was Entrapta and she tried to warn Hordak about it. Catra was the one who stopped her, violently so, then sent her to die on Beast Island- the fate Entrapta saved her from a season ago. Catra then tried to have Hordak open the portal before it was ready.

When he wouldn’t – she pulled the lever herself because that is how desperate she had gotten at that point, to show Shadow Weaver how wrong she was. That is how hurt Catra was by her mother figure’s betrayal and abuse.

Don’t take that away from her. Don’t call it curiosity or naivete or whatever. She knew the portal was dangerous but she wanted to prove Shadow Weaver wrong so badly that she didn’t care at that point. She had been pushed that far. 

Catra’s actions led to Angella’s death but she was not directly responsible for it. She didn’t activate the device to kill Angella, it merely happened accidentally. Catra was however glad it happened and wanted to profit from the aftermath of her death.  

Hordak didn’t care or plan to kill Angella personally. There is no in-show moment where any of that is portrayed. Since he doesn’t care about the specifics of running the horde seem to know what they are conquering at the moment, it seems that that was usually a task reserved for his second in command. 

^ - troop movement ordered by Catra

Hordak doesn’t even know what his own army is doing.

Again with the Hordak “drilling into orphan’s minds”… I seriously doubt that any of them had ever seen him out of his lab or that he came up with the propaganda himself.

Manipulation is more Shadow Weaver’s game not his. For all of Hordak’s faults, he is not deceptive or manipulative. If anything, he is woefully incapable of spotting lies. (it might have something to do with him being born in a society where lies were almost impossible because of the hive mind and Prime being able to browse his thoughts at a whim- as such, it wouldn’t be a skill he would have been able to develop).

Hordak canonically despises deception and lies.  I really don’t understand where this image of a manipulative and cunning Hordak comes from. He wouldn’t be able to plot himself out of a paper bag if his life depended on it.

First off.. S4 Catra was his equal, not his subordinate. Don’t take that away from her. She earned it.

He doesn’t look that threatening here... 

And again:  Prime created the system. He made clone slaves and programmed them to serve. His clones have hardware installed for the express reason to facilitate his control over them. He has a religion in place to make sure their thoughts do not stray from his purpose. I am legitimately boggled by this fandom’s tendency to completely forget about his existence.Does anyone really think that these people that are born “prechipped” and programmed to know nothing but Prime’s Light are really knowledgeable about human morality?

That they would know that conquest is bad when that is the express reason for their creation? 

If I were born in that situation, I’m not sure I would have known any better. Hell, if any of the clones even try to disobey Prime, they would get either mindraped (erased) or killed for the effort. They really have no choice, even if they knew that killing in Prime’s name is wrong (they don’t) they really can’t do anything about it. They have no choice but to be what they were made to be. I find it personally abhorrent when these designer slaves are held accountable for what Prime has made them do.

And to the people that say Hordak was free of Horde Prime once he was stranded on Etheria.. That is not how indoctrination works. The fact that I can’t go to church this Sunday because I’m locked in the house and can’t find the keys doesn’t make me an atheist.

Hordak was serving Prime even on Etheria. He keeps mentioning it to both Entrapta and Catra. He started the war because that’s what he thought Prime wanted of him and that’s what he’s been programmed to do. Personal and informed choice really doesn’t factor into his decision at all.

He is not sympathetic because Entrapta likes him. Notice how I haven’t brought up his relationship with her up to this point?

He is sympathetic because he literally had no choice but to do the things he was indoctrinated into doing. He was build and programmed for it, just like all the other clones. They are not able to deviate from that because of the way Prime functions and rules over them.

There is no point in the show where Hordak relishes over his status as a ruler or the “luxury” it affords him. He does not engage in the same behaviors his progenitor manifests.

There is no point in the show where Hordak relishes over his status as a ruler or the “luxury” it affords him. He does not engage in the same behaviors his progenitor manifests. He attempts to emulate Prime in order to project authority in the only way he knows how but since those are some really big shoes to fill, he is woefully inadequate. 

If Hordak had been power hungry, he would have stayed in despondos and ruled his own faction. Being away from Prime is the most powerful and autonomous he’s ever been and yet, he wants to throw all of that away in order to be a powerless, nameless part of the whole. What Hordak wanted was to be enslaved by Prime because that’s what he had been created for.

“vengeful” – and how did Hordak manifest this vengefulness? Who did he take revenge on in the series?  

“apologize” – when and where in his 3 minutes of screentime would he remember everything after 2 mindwipes, realize that the whole worldview he had since inception is wrong, realize that he had been mistaken into doing the horrible things he did and then go to all of the characters and apologize for it?

Would anyone be convinced of that had it happened in 3 minutes? I’d rather they don’t redeem him than do a shit job at it.

Very true. He’s not a better person. He’s just a person in an impossible situation. Both Hordak and Catra were handed a raw deal, I don’t understand why everyone insists on pitting them against one another. They both did bad things and they were both in horrible situations. The specifics don’t really matter since neither of them would have done the things they did had they been more fortunate.

This is the exact reason for which I don’t hold Cara’s actions against her. Catra’s only model of success was Shadow Weaver. She emulated her abusive mother figure because she had no other example and because she wanted to please that woman. It does not excuse the way Catra acted but it explains it.

I really don’t understand why some people want Catra punished. I’d rather she get love and help. That is what she needs. In time, she will want to do better and be better by herself. She doesn’t need to be forced, heavens know, she’s been forced enough as it is.

They are really different. Catra got an abusive, shitty and violent childhood. Hordak got this:

He was literally robbed of a childhood. 

She was taught by Shadow Weaver that weakness gets you killed. Hordak was not allowed to have emotions to begin with, or thoughts of his own, or a name...

Comparing to victims of abuse to see which one of them is more likable is such a strange concept to me.

Catra was robbed in s5 too. I don’t hold that against her. I  blame it on the writers. S5 could have been a lot better. 

[creacherkeeper]

im getting a little too in my family feels today and so INSTEAD of feeling those im just going to ramble for a second about why i fucking love paladin!aelwyn because. im. just like this i guess im coping leave me alone

cw for discussions of child abuse, maladaptive coping, drugs and alcohol, self harm, destructive tendencies, basically everything we see in canon and the implications

aelwyn is ... SO interesting to me because for as much of her interiority as we see, as much of her as we think we understand, as much as i could ramble about her character for hours, we know ALMOST NOTHING about her in actuality?? (besides ... one key thing)

(this is like 2k and probably incoherent someone please stop me)

okay. listen. almost everything we see aelwyn do in s1 is maladaptive rebellion against her parents and home life. the drinking, the drugs, the partying, perhaps some of kalvaxus (though i dont think we fully understand how much of that was forced on her as well, kalina WAS watching her when she was talking to adaine about it). you can say like, oh aelwyn is a party animal, she's impulsive, she makes risky decisions, she's bitchy and rude, and its like. okay but IS SHE ACTUALLY. because under her parents thumb she had an EXTREMELY limited amount of freedom, and usually when people are suffering from very little control over their life, they WILL act destructively over the tiny bit they can, either harming themselves or their environment or people lower than them in the pecking order, because in a way, that feels like a reclamation of autonomy. saying "you have so much power over me but can you stop me from hurting myself and destroying what you havent managed to claim yet?". its just like, kind of what human brains do and frequently has little to do with a persons actual personality or impulses, its just. desperate brains trying to control SOMETHING because autonomy is a fundamental human need and when thats taken away we get. very bad off. (this is one big reason eating disorders are SO common with abused kids.) so i think a lot of the s1 aelwyn we see is like. this is a very desperate, abused teenager "acting out" in the only way it is possibly somewhat safe for her to do so because, on a psychological level, the self destruction is weirdly the only emotional tether and its either this or just dissociate all the time (something we do see she has problems with in canon)

and yes, she did treat adaine horribly in s1. she fully did. obviously what we get in canon is what happens but a moment thats interesting to me is in episode 1 where adaine has attacked aelwyn several times, who either does nothing or just bounces it back, when she says "i never cast spells at you" and siobhan immediately retcons it and says "yes you do, all the time" (i havent gone back and watched this bit so i might be wording this wrong). obviously its an improv show and the canon is built between performers as they go, but that was interesting to me. that brennan hadnt intended for her to have fought back in that way. she definitely feeds into the emotional abuse from their parents and participates in all the toxicity there, but we know in canon that she did that because of overwhelming fear and self preservation. and that her self hatred because of it just fed back into the cycle and made her feel like she wasnt good enough to even try to break free from it. this is very common in golden child/scapegoat sibling relationships where the golden child SEES what the parents are capable of and becomes a participant in the abuse out of fear for their own standing. in any way siding with the scapegoat child not only directs abuse at themselves as well, but frequently makes things WORSE for the scapegoat because the parents will take out the challenge to their power on them even more. so, if aelwyn DID ever try to defend or help adaine when they were small, she would have VERY QUICKLY learned that made things worse for everyone. and just. sectioned that part of her brain off, as she's done with so many other things. (and i dont think im reading too much into the forest scene with the abernants to say their parents were VERY QUICK to turn abuse towards aelwyn if she stepped out of line even a little. like, you dont flinch when a hand moves unless. you know. dont need to say it just something to think about. as far as we saw in canon, she had done everything they asked of her leading up to the forest, and we DONT KNOW what happened in it but we do know brennan specifically called out how in broken spirits she was when adaine was summoned, even though they did the ritual to avoid all of the nightmare bullshit)

(the house party is literally a whole separate post but i think its fair to point out that 1) she was super under the influence when that was happening which DEFINITELY is in no way an excuse for her behavior but worth remembering when trying to analyze that 2) her losing that fight did canonically have DRASTIC consequences for her and even if she didnt know exactly how that was going to turn out, i think she knew how bad it might be. and she did not know adaine or any of the bad kids were going to be there in the first place)

all that said, it feels in some ways counterproductive to say that aelwyn is an extremely devoted and protective person (yes we're getting to the paladin shit i know i've been rambling a while) but i think that thats strangely ALL WE ACTUALLY KNOW ABOUT HER. because we've established that her self-destructive and abusive behavior in s1 is almost entirely psychologically scripted for her by her parents, we dont know how much of her villain shit in s1 was LITERALLY UNDER THREAT OF DEATH because we know at least killing the oracle was and we dont know how much of the rest of it was mandated by either her parents or kalina other than that she probably was under orders not to tell adaine the truth, and we know participating in all of this caused extreme self loathing in her that she refused to show to anybody and was too terrified to act on in any way

so, like. what does that actually leave us?

here's what we do know about aelwyn:

- of all the schools of magic, she went into abjuration

- the entire bbeg plan from season 1 hinged on aelwyn's complete faith that her level 1 sister was the most prodigious diviner in the world

- right after (?) the house party, she locked her memories where only adaine could find it with a note basically saying "theres so much bad blood between us but i know only you could find this"

- she desperately wanted to protect adaine and the fact that she was too afraid to do so made her hate herself (and her knowing that adaine now knows this is the turning point in their relationship)

- despite everything, even in the nmk forest, she still loved her parents

- the SECOND she is shown genuine love and affection and care from adaine, and adaine says whatever you do, i am here with you, all her actions from there forward are just about protecting adaine from their father, very nearly at the cost of her own life

- with what she probably thought were her last words (and would have been if adaine hadnt given her the tincture), all she wanted to communicate was how to help adaine and the bad kids, and how despite everything she had always believed in her

- at five levels of exhaustion, unconscious, she used her first spell slot after nine months of torture to build a shield around adaine

NOW we get to paladin!aelwyn. because, once everything is stripped away, the abuse and the control and the maladaption and the threats and the torture, EVERYTHING we ACTUALLY can glean about aelwyn's personality and inner core is that she's protective and devoted. and of course classes arent locked by personality, but that just screams paladin to me. its her WHOLE THING. adaine even says "wizards dont have heals, we dont care about other people" and of COURSE that isnt true for either of them, but? mechanically? aelwyn chose the wizard school that DID let her protect, and DID let her help, but i dont think, at this point, going forward, thats really going to be enough for her (and we could also talk about the parallels between them, how often adaine uses her portents to help other people)

i think a lot of the different reads on aelwyn come from this fundamental disconnect between her actions and displayed personality vs who she actually is and what she actually wants. and i think there are very different interpretations of what thats going to look like for her going forward. but i think, for a girl who's most hated characteristic about herself was her self preservation at the detriment of others, her perceived selfishness, and her fear ... isn't choosing to be braver and more selfless and more protective and shedding that self-preserving instinct for the betterment of others ... and MECHANICALLY being able to act on all those things ... the logical next step? i think its going to be a LONG TIME before aelwyn can love herself, but what other way is there to try? if adaine loves her, and adaine believes she can be better, isnt being better because she trusts adaine kind of a form of self love? saying, i dont believe in myself, but i believe in the person who believes in me, and maybe, in a roundabout way, thats the same thing. she was never able to TRY to be better before, because trying to improve even a little, even when people arent watching, when a harmful force has so much power over you and your actions ... like, the mental dissonance is honestly TOO much to even try, thats WAY more terrifying than letting yourself be bad, to the point where thats psychologically impossible for a lot of people. but now she actually has space and freedom and CHOICE and she CAN embrace the instincts she always had to shove down, she CAN be the person she knows her sister needed her to be

i dont know, i think theres an inherent love letter to yourself in wanting to be better and wanting to improve, even if you justify it by saying its for someone else. and now aelwyn actually CAN improve, and thats probably going to be extremely awkward and scary and there will be set backs and backslides for sure. but. i dont know. i think she wants to make up for lost time. because she never wanted the time to be lost in the first place. and if a protector is who she always wanted to be, whats stopping her from being that now?

[heavensenthearty]

I went into the Zuko tag and one of the first posts I saw was how Zuko’s not soft, he’s almost always an asshole. Tags: I love him with all my heart but he’s a piece of shit. Is it wrong that this upsets me? And I call BS on the “love” part. Constantly talking about an (redeemed) abuse victim like that isn’t a cute edgy look. In the beginning I was writing it off as once in a while jokes but now it doesn’t feel like that anymore and is just damaging. Piece of shit? Really??

I have to think about how do actually abuse victims feel when they see a character go through a similar situation as them and work so hard to break free of it, be talked about in such a way? Especially young boys. Because with a lot of these people Azula is their little darling so it just boils down to unrepentant girl victim = QUEEN <3 , cycle breaking abused boy = asshole

Well, in case you wonder, A, I am one of those actual abuse victims that feel identified with Zuko, so I can give you an accurate description of how it feels like to see posts tearing him down: It. Hurts. A. Friggin'. Lot!

Because it reminds me it doesn't even matter how hard I try, how strong I stand up for myself; 'cause if I do fight for myself, if I do am strong enough to keep myself together day after day without breaking down, nobody will want to come help me.

Day after day, I try so hard to be good. I try so hard to not let the beliefs of my homophobic, islamophobic, xenophobic family get to my head. I try so hard to cling to my last vestige of patience when I'm angry.

Huh, sound familiar?

"Why am I so bad at being good?"

"I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan."

"Don't patronize me! You know what it's supposed to look like!"

But nobody wants to hear about that, nobody thinks it is worthy of admiration. If I can do that, it means it mustn't be that difficult, right? Either if it is the me I put so much effort into being, or the me that is so angry at the people that wronged her that is toxic and confrontational with everyone, people won't feel sorry for me. They won't consider me deserving of their pity. Because I am proud like that, I don't cry; I struggle.

People prefers Azula because she embodies everybody's darkest thoughts: the desire to be that much powerful, that much impeccable, to crush your enemies to the core, for everybody to fear you. And of course those thoughts usually come from pain. Unbearable pain. And you can blame on it the awful, awful person into which you turn. I know many people who does that, and who think pity overpowers any fault they might have for their past actions.

Zuko is what happens when you push yourself away from those dark thoughts. He is what happens when you know you have that darkness inside your head, but you decide to be different. And it is difficult. And it keeps hurting because you don't only fight the outside world and the people that hurt you, you fight their voices inside your own head, the emotions they inflicted on you. That you should feel guilty for what they did to you, that you should had been better, that you should be better even now; and it's hard to tell which parts are the ones that you believe for yourself, and which are the ones you were taught for a long, long time.

I believe in the person I try to be, it is my decision to be this person. It is Zuko's decision to be the person who he is now. And it was Azula's decision to work as Ozai's pawn in a desperate attempt to earn her father's love.

It's not her fault, God knows it took me years to detach myself from my family's beliefs, but people should focus more on her other traits because she is not a very inspiring story of abuse.

I think the difference between the Fire Siblings is better explained with a quote that I like:

It doesn't take a lot of strength to hang on:

It takes a lot of strength to let go:

[shihalyfie]

“Dependable senior” Kido Jou

Continuing my thread of analyzing the Adventure characters in detail, today we’ll be talking about Jou, Adventure’s most famous disaster character whom most of us have probably started feeling may actually be the most relatable character in this cast. It’s hard not to love him, honestly, given how earnestly he works so hard at everything and yet has an unfortunate tendency to dig himself into a hole.

Let’s just cut to the chase and talk about Jou!

Jou’s family background

Adventure is of course known for its overall focus on family backgrounds, but Jou’s is fairly different from the others’ for a lot of different reasons. We never meet Jou’s parents in the series itself, only in a drama CD, but we do meet his brother, Kido Shin -- and in fact, Jou’s the only Adventure kid to have siblings outside of the group (two, in fact, although we don’t meet Shuu until 02).

Jou’s family is what’s often called an “elite” family -- one that pushes for its kids and family members to have a certain degree of “high status” through their career. Even those in non-Asian countries will probably recognize that academic achievement measurement pressure is endemic to the culture in general -- especially since Japan has standard entrance exams go all the way down to high school level -- but it is especially prominent in the case of the Kido family, and Jou’s father has been pushing all three of his sons to become doctors, largely because he wants one of them to inherit his clinic. (While it’s not as extreme as Sora’s problem with iemoto position inheritance, Jou’s position of being in inheritance pressure is not entirely dissimilar.) It also means that just being any kind of doctor isn’t enough for him -- it’s got to be one of the “dignified and prominent” kinds of doctors (heavily implied to involve surgery, given the mention of blood).

In addition, while it’s not strictly said within the series itself, it’s implied that Jou is feeling a lot of pressure in terms of being the youngest of three sons, when the older two have a huge age gap with him. Jou is only in elementary school, while his second oldest brother is in high school and his oldest brother already a medical student! (By the time Adventure is over, both brothers are in national university, which is a really tough achievement.) Within his family, Jou really is The Baby compared to two high-achieving brothers who are already “well on their way to great things”.

In order to be on the path of becoming a doctor, Jou starts off the series, only in elementary school, in the “prep school track” -- or, what’s basically a constant cycle of getting into a good school so that he can get into another good school so that he can get into another good school (et cetera). Again, Japanese schools have entrance exams as early as high school, so this is something he’ll be setting on very early. I also cannot emphasize enough that for anyone who has to go through this process, it is absolute hell. I have never met anyone who actually enjoys doing this; it’s a means to an end. It’s very hard to have your heart into this unless you want the final goal that badly -- vague promises of status alone don’t do it -- and even those who do want it often end up demotivated and going through the motions with their will broken partway into it.

And, unfortunately for Jou, he’d already had a good reason to not want to do this from day one.

Jou has severe blood phobia. (Formally called “hemophobia”, although I tend to avoid that term given that it’s one letter off from something else.) Shin even makes it clear in this scene from Adventure episode 38 that any doubts about Jou’s ability to become a doctor don’t have anything to do with his personality or abilities, but the fact is that this is, indeed, a very serious and concrete problem for someone who intends to become a doctor (or at least, again, the kind of doctor that his father wants him to be). It’s possible that Jou outright fainting at the sight of blood might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s definitely enough of a deterrent that he’s not feeling this whole thing at all, and convincing him to actually care about becoming a doctor is going to require a huge uphill battle. By default, the answer was already a huge, capital NO in giant letters before anything ever began. And yet, Jou continued to force himself to go through the motions.

It should also be made clear that while Jou’s father was pressuring him to become a doctor, he was also not trying to force Jou to become one. The drama CD where he appears had him actually outwardly encourage Jou to do whatever he wanted instead of forcing himself -- but it was also extremely clear that he was still personally very unhappy and dissatisfied with the idea of all three brothers not taking over his clinic. As much as the Kido brothers do seem to be concerned about their father’s disapproval, it’s less so out of fear of retribution and more that they just really worry about disappointing him. Hence, this is why Jou continues to follow the path even when he’s not really feeling it, and it’s important to understanding Jou as a character for the rest of this post: Jou has no personal interest in status or honor, but is motivated by his sense of duty towards other people. 

Even so, “because my father really wants me to” isn’t exactly very motivating in itself, and, all in all, Jou starts off Adventure very jaded about his future prospects, and rather demotivated and uninterested in them. But come the events of Adventure, Jou, the aforementioned “baby of the family”, gets recasted as the oldest in the group -- which becomes a huge factor in how he ends up changing his view of himself and his personal goals.

Jou in Adventure

Jou starts off the series assigned as Mimi’s camp group leader, but even Mimi senses an aura from him that he doesn’t seem very “reliable”. In this case, the word “reliable” doesn’t refer to his Crest name (which did get a dub name of “Reliability”) but rather various words that effectively mean “able to be counted on”. Which, at this early point of the story, Jou is decidedly not. Once the adventure gets off the ground, Jou easily succumbs to stress, and especially the stress and burden placed on him from being the oldest in the group.

If you’re wondering if that one-year difference between Jou and Taichi/Yamato/Sora really is that big of a deal, culturally speaking: yes, it is (especially when everyone’s at this young age), and Jou isn’t just being stickler about it. You can actually see an example of how this comes into play once they return to regular society in Adventure episode 29, when the kids are allowed to go to Hikarigaoka purely because “a sixth-grader” (Jou) is with them. This is the kind of responsibility that society normally imposes on him, and this is what he carries even into another world.

In fact, Jou’s aware even from the get-go that he’s not exactly cut out for that kind of role. From the Adventure novels:

Jou thought about it. He, too, felt sorry for the younger boy… but it would be over for his leadership if he went back on what he’d already decided. Give them an opening and they’ll soon be walking all over him. He just couldn’t have that. Jou was all too aware of his own often indecisive personality. ... When they heard what had transpired between her and Jou, Yamato and the others glared coldly in Jou’s direction. What was this, a dictatorship?

As a result, he initially rubs everyone the wrong way because, in their view, he’s trying to impose his will on everyone like some control freak, but as it turns out, being a control freak is actually part of Jou’s stress response.

Said control freakishness manifests in Jou constantly spending the early part of the series by leaning back on “the rules of society” -- including the early series running gag of him insisting that there must be “adults” there, when this is clearly not the case to everyone else present -- because, for someone like him who easily gives into stress and anxiety and has a nasty tendency to become incredibly irrational, leaning on those “rules” is some degree of comfort to him. Now that he’s been dragged into another world, he’s desperately clawing at anything that can bring his sense of “reality” back -- hence why he keeps relying on the concept of “adults”, because the truth is that he himself isn’t actually that capable of handling the situation on his own, and he’s trying to convince himself that there’s Some More Reliable Thing Out There that they can fall back on.

The infamous “egg scene” in Adventure episode 7 is certainly comedic when Jou overreacts to everyone harmlessly listing off things they like on their eggs, but things quickly take a turn for the dramatic when Jou practically has a mental breakdown over it. In the end, Jou so easily succumbs to anxiety that even little things like “being a little out of order” stress him out to no end. The world is easy to understand and explain when everything is in the right place, and chaos has a tendency to completely disorient him.

But on the other hand, it’s also in Adventure episode 7 where we learn that Jou’s control freak behavior isn’t because he actually cares about any kind of status or honor for being the oldest, but because he truly, truly feels responsible for everyone’s welfare.

“Because I’m the oldest” is a statement that Jou means in the context of him having a duty to protect everyone -- beyond everything, the one thing that does make Jou passionate is how much he truly, truly cares about other people’s welfare, to the point he impulsively throws himself onto the Black Gear-controlled Unimon and tries to yank the gear out with his bare hands. In fact, said episode demonstrates that Jou can be recklessly self-sacrificial when he wants to be, because his failed attempts at dispute resolution lead him to conclude that he should be the one to take one for the team. For all it’s worth, Jou has the right idea when it comes to trying to take leadership, because he’s very much doing this for the welfare of others more than he ever cares about himself or the glory of the position -- it’s just that, being rather reckless, rather paranoid, and not very good at actually thinking straight, his way of going about it doesn’t tend to always land right.

But it’s undeniable that he cares, and he’s trying, and this leads to a shift in how the rest of the team comes to perceive him for the rest of the series now that they understand that his intentions really are for their sake, not because he’s trying to be a jerk about it.

And that comes out to be the one most prominent trait about Jou for the rest of the series, especially in Adventure episodes 23 and 36 -- as much as an unpredictable loose cannon as he can be, he’s so loyal to his friends and determined to protect them that he would even recklessly throw himself into the line of fire for them. That’s the basis of his Crest, which is something that’s been translated half a dozen different ways, but all boil down to the same principle: he has a strong sense of duty and responsibility to other people, and will always make do on his promises to others or his desire to provide for them.

After a few of their initial bad starts, the Adventure kids never treat him badly -- in fact, both Sora and Mimi respectfully call him “Jou-senpai” as if to acknowledge his position over them in school, something that’s stuck very well with the actual fanbase (more on this later). Of course, everyone tends to get exasperated at him or worry about whether he’ll actually pull through on anything he attempts, but the majority of the humor revolving around Jou in Adventure has very little to do with anyone insulting or tormenting him, and more that he tends to be so dramatic and high-strung that he kind of digs himself into a hole. (Like how he tries to angrily chastise everyone for spending their money on food in Adventure episode 30, only for the revelation that he’s starving himself to kick in and for him to sink into the exact opposite extreme.) Ultimately, everyone comes to understand that Jou’s working really hard for their sake, so they cut him a bit of slack.

In fact, while Taichi initially complains about Jou sitting out of their trip to Shibaura to find the eighth child for the sake of entrance exam studies in Adventure episode 32, the kids strike a compromise by dumping all of their phone call work on him. Of course, this is a bit of “revenge” for him not accompanying them, but it is effectively the other kids respecting his right to sit out and not have to completely give up on his real life obligations even in the middle of the eighth child search, by allowing him to participate in the search in a way that’s more convenient for him.

But despite diligently sticking to the motions, Jou doesn’t actually emotionally care about all of this. We even get a hint of this in Adventure episode 35 -- Jou gets what he calls “the worst grade in his life,” presumably due to all of the stress he’d been going through lately, having just gotten back from the Digital World and all. He also bounces back incredibly quickly, saying that he’ll have to call and inform his parents he’ll be back late.

In the end, Jou doesn’t really care about his grades or performance when it comes to cram school, even despite insisting on sticking to it, because he’s just not feeling it. He doesn’t even want to be a doctor all that much; he has no true motivation and no reason to care. (The only time Jou is ever portrayed as actually liking doing any kind of studying at all rather than doing it as obligation is when everyone’s listing off what they miss doing in Adventure episode 6, but it’s in a context where everyone’s talking about missing home, so it’s more of him missing his daily routine and what’s “familiar” to him than anything else.) He went through the motions, and was slightly disappointed about the grade, but the “ultimate goal” of becoming a doctor had no personal meaning to him, and so he shrugs it all off.

Jumping in physical danger to save someone’s life? That’s a no-brainer -- Jou would easily throw himself into the line of fire to do so, because he’s so passionate about protecting other people and taking responsibility for them that he’ll gladly sacrifice himself for anyone else in a heartbeat. But this whole thing about becoming a doctor and his future career is such a vague thing that he doesn’t even want that it’s arguably more of his “required daily routine” than it’s actually something he cares about all that much.

And so, we finally meet Kido Shin, in Adventure episode 38 -- he’s the oldest of the Kido brothers, already a medical student, and, ostensibly, the one closest to their father’s goal of having doctor sons. Yet his first appearance indicates that even he doesn’t have it all together, either -- he sleeps in the closet (Jou didn’t even know about this!), and somehow just slept through all of his surroundings being kidnapped. So even one of Jou’s apparent models is a bit of a disaster himself -- and, more importantly, Shin leaves some advice with Jou that sticks with him for the rest of the series.

Shin does not intend to be a doctor in the way their father wants him to be (remember, he specifically wants them to take over his clinic). This is Jou’s first time hearing about this, which is important because it means it’s the first time Jou is having such a major shakeup to his likely perception of Shin as a “prior example” -- and Shin knows this, because he promptly uses himself as an example of why Jou should also be free to choose his own path. Jou being the Kido family’s “baby” especially comes out in the novel, because Shin implies that he thinks Shuu would feel independent enough to not need any advice about this, whereas Jou definitely needs it.

We don’t get follow-up on this until after they return to the Digital World, and Mimi witnessing a handful of deaths and eventually Taichi and Yamato falling out brings her to her emotional limit; Jou decides to take responsibility for her, and while part of it is presumably because he’s had charge of her as her camp group leader since the beginning, it’s also clear that the recent events in the Digital World are weighing on him in their own way, as are Shin’s words about finding his own path.

What he wanted to tell her was this: that he didn’t see any likelihood of co-existing with the Dark Masters, and that they had no other choice but to fight them. Even a neutral country like Switzerland had a military. They would be invaded by enemy countries without one. It would be nice and ideal if they used the nonviolent resistance approach as Ghandi did. But that didn’t mean it was okay to just be killed without lifting a finger… But not even he could find a good answer.

QUESTION: Under what circumstances is it okay to battle?

That sort of question would never appear on a school test, and he’d never once thought about it before…

But on their way, Jou and Mimi encounter Ogremon and Leomon, and for the first time, Jou’s peripheral knowledge of medicine from his father starts having a practical use -- up until then, “becoming a doctor” had only been something that he’d been following for a vague sense of status that he didn’t even want, but here, Jou starts to see the connection between that goal and what it would mean for what he wants: to be able to help people right in front of him. Shortly after, when Leomon’s death turns out to involve injuries beyond that a sixth-grader can take care of with his limited supplies (”toilet paper won’t fix this!”), Jou is suddenly hit with a certain sense of reality: if Jou wants to truly help others, there is much more of a skillset he’s going to need to gather in order to do so.

So by the time of Adventure episode 50, Shin’s words now weigh so much on Jou that he’s even dreaming about them, and he finally internalizes those words of “everyone taking their own path”. In short, this is Jou acknowledging that fighting isn’t the only way to meaningfully contribute -- after all, Mimi has a severe aversion to fighting or seeing more casualties and thus can better meaningfully contribute by gathering allies to work together, while Taichi and Koushirou are directly in the front lines.

Jou, ostensibly, decides to go off and find Yamato, but there’s another layer under this: Jou admits that he’s not very strong, so much to the point that he doesn’t think Gomamon will reach Ultimate, and feels like there should be “something only he can do”. The full answer to what Jou started touching on here, and what he ends up doing thereafter, is stated in explicit words in Two-and-a-Half Year Break:

When we were in the Digital World last summer, many of the Digimon got injured and died. I couldn’t do anything for them, even though I was a doctor’s son. I don’t want to ever feel useless again! Not when someone is hurt in front of me. The Digital World doesn’t have a doctor. They need someone who’ll be able to heal them. Even now, I carry around a simple first-aid kit just in case the Gate opens again. Because of it, my bag is always crammed. And my arms are becoming muscular. [laughs] Really! By the way, I have a problem. Of course, I’ll be doing regular doctor studies, but I’ll be treating Digimon, you know? Don’t you think I’ll need to study veterinary medicine too in order to heal them? 

And thus, Jou finds the all-important link that actually motivates him to want to become a doctor -- the one thing that had always been a constant about Kido Jou was that he could not leave people behind when they needed help right in front of him. Or in other words, he has a marvelous case of Good Samaritan syndrome (a whole eleven years before Kudou Taiki, at that!). “Feeling useless” is pretty much on the very, very top of the list of things he hates the most. And, by his own admission, “fighting” is not really his specialty, and he doesn’t even particularly like it himself.

But he wants to meaningfully contribute in some way, and now, here’s an option that isn’t fighting: he has the roots in a talent for treating the wounded and preventing casualties that way. All he has to do is hone it. And just like how Shin decided that he specifically wanted to be a doctor in a place where a doctor would be needed most, Jou also decides he specifically wants to be a doctor for the Digital World, because that is something he can meaningfully provide for instead of becoming a doctor for the status.

He’s still going to disappoint his father this way, but never mind that: he’s found something that he wants, and it’s his own path, like Shin told him to follow. And yes, that means even if he has to fight his own blood phobia to do so.

And this becomes very important to how he’s able to confidently help bring Sora out of her darkness-induced spiel in Adventure episode 51, where she -- who has a problem with a compulsive tendency to burn herself out in helping others -- starts falling into despair because she caves to the pressure of having to save everyone. Yamato and Jou, together, simply re-shift her frame of mindset: it’s not that being a Chosen Child is about trying and failing to fulfill a particular duty, it’s that there’s a situation happening and they are actively making the choice to do everything they can. Because, really, Jou himself understands it best -- he’s never been someone good at doing things because other people tell him to, he’s someone who’s gotten this far because of his own personal sense of responsibility and priorities being so strong, and that’s why he’s capable of pushing on with his own path and what he wants.

02 and beyond

Jou was, unfortunately, forced to sit out the events of Our War Game!, but as far as blaming him for it goes, it’s really hard to; he had no idea this was going on at all, and by the time the incident had hit climax, he was already in the test room and impossible to be contacted. (You can imagine he was probably quite upset about not having been able to help out afterwards.) As for why nobody tries to pull him out the way they do end up pulling him aside a few times in 02, it’s because this isn’t just a practice exam for prep school -- this is THE exam. Remember, this kind of lifestyle involves a chain of needing to get into a good school to get into a good school to get into a good school, and Jou is aiming for a national university like his brothers; this actually could impact the rest of his career, and given that the other kids respect how important this is to him, it’s also understandable that they’d be a bit hesitant to pull him aside from this.

We’re first properly reintroduced to Jou in 02 episode 5. Unlike Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Koushirou, Jou does not attend Odaiba Middle School, which means that, assuming that the Adventure universe Odaiba is like the real-life one in which Odaiba (Koyo) Elementary and Middle are the only schools on the island, Jou regularly spends his school and prep school days off the island and quite separated from the others. Instead, Jou attends a private middle school (hence why he had to take an exam to get in), presumably one that’s intended to help him on the medical school track.

But despite that, his first major scene in the series is to ditch prep school to go help Gomamon. For someone who doesn’t know Jou very well, this probably would seem appalling -- that someone so studious would be so willing to ditch at the drop of a hat -- but anyone who does know him well would probably not be surprised; after all, “being a doctor” is still a far-off dream, whereas Gomamon needs help now, and the number one thing Jou can’t stand is to leave people in need behind.

Unlike with Taichi, Yamato, Sora, and Koushirou, who all have some degree of connection to the 02 juniors in some way (Taichi and Yamato being Hikari and Takeru’s brothers, Taichi and Sora having known Daisuke from the soccer club, and Koushirou having known Miyako from the soccer club), Jou is a complete stranger when he’s introduced to Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori, with Digimon-related work being the only connection they have to him at all. Despite that, the new 02 kids, being well-behaved juniors who really look up to their elders, immediately endear themselves well to him -- in fact (you can thank @takerusfedora​ for this observation), Miyako squishing Poromon in delight upon seeing him, and the context she usually does this in, hints that she might even see him as attractive. (Considering that he’s a prospective medical student from an elite family, this probably shouldn’t be too surprising.)

While the fact he’s medical school bound isn’t explicitly brought up in the series itself, the fact he’s well on that path is already pretty evident by his actions, given that he comes stocked with heating pads and other medical supplies, just in case. Takeru comments on him always being prepared -- because he’s constantly thinking of other people and how he can be useful to them.

This episode also marks the beginning of a particular relationship between Jou and Iori, which is quite an interesting one considering that we’re talking about the oldest and the youngest of the group of eleven (not quite twelve yet) Tokyo Chosen Children at this point. As many point out even within this episode, Jou and Iori have a lot in common, and it’s likely Jou sees a bit of himself in Iori -- someone who has a firm insistence on principles (even beyond the point of practicality), but also is protective of others and hates to see them hurt. Not only that, Iori had even gotten a similar lesson from his grandfather earlier in the episode about the importance of “making one’s own decisions” -- and so, the two share common ground in Iori having ditched his “duty” to practice kendo with his grandfather that day in order to help Gomamon, and Jou having done likewise via ditching his prep school classes. Because Iori will always have more kendo lessons, and this certainly won’t be the last prep school class Jou has, but these are effectively two kindred spirits who care so much about friends in need that prioritizing them over all else is non-negotiable.

Jou compliments Iori by calling him “dependable”, which is a huge compliment coming from someone who, at this point of the story, regularly attracts comments like “dependable senior”. 02-era Jou gets this kind of reference a lot in press materials and fan descriptions of him, because now that he’s matured a bit and isn’t as prone to making ridiculous, reckless decisions or being as emotionally high-strung, his on-point aspects like being very on-task and always keeping his word are much more visible.

Well, that said, he still kind of starts screaming loudly as soon as he hears his dad is supposedly in trouble in the middle of his exam in 02 episode 16, so he’s still a little emotionally high-strung. But never mind that!

As usual (especially since this is most likely a practice exam, one of many Jou will be taking for the next year), Jou doesn’t mind being interrupted all that much; it’s not like exams are any fun anyway, so of course Jou doesn’t really care about being pulled from it, especially when Daisuke and the others are literally suffocating to death at that exact moment.

Unfortunately, for Iori, this entire incident is a convergence of things totally eating away at his psyche; he’s still blaming himself for everyone being trapped down there, he’s just placed a burden on Jou, and his grandfather had just said that lying is the worst thing that one could ever do, so now Iori thinks of himself a horrible, undeserving person. But Jou is someone who empathizes with being so stuck on “principles” that you forget the big picture, and reframes it in a way Iori can understand: lies are bad when they hurt people, but in this case, not lying would have led to much, much worse happening, and both Iori and Jou share that common ground of absolutely hating the feeling of standing by and doing nothing while others are in trouble.

We also finally meet the third (or, technically, second) Kido brother in 02 episode 33, Kido Shuu -- and while we don’t see him interact directly with Jou (at least, not until the drama CD), what we learn about him contextualizes Jou’s situation even further: Shuu not only decided to leave the path of inheriting his father’s clinic, he’d also decided to ditch the medical school path entirely, switching to humanities because he was so fascinated by Professor Takenouchi’s work. That’s a pretty drastic shift, but, as Shin had said in the novel, Shuu is the type to be independent enough to do whatever he wants without Shin even having to advise him of this, and given that he made this decision less than a year after the events of Adventure, it was likely a huge motivator in Jou deciding that their prior “example” of being medical students wasn’t necessarily something he needed to follow when both of his own brothers weren’t even following that standard anymore to begin with.

And, much like with Jou, Shuu’s new chosen profession also brings him closer to the Digimon, except in an “understanding more about them” sense rather than Jou’s medical sense. So, just like Shin wanted, all three brothers found their own paths.

In Diablomon Strikes Back, Jou is thankfully blessed with being much more available to deal with the conflict; he starts off stuck in a long line to register for high school in the midst of scrambled records, but comes to assist Daisuke and Ken with a bike as soon as he’s able. This movie being quite the comedic one, you get to see a bit of his disaster tendencies slip back in as he scrambles to help everyone -- but, as always, he’s doing his best.

A lot of people have also pointed out that the movie spends an awful amount of scenes depicting him in the company of the girl he borrowed the bike from, which has led to a few amusing extrapolations, but at the base level implies that he at the very least wanted to make absolute sure that her bike was safely returned to her once everything is over -- after all, Jou would hate to be responsible for someone losing a bike, or in debt to someone. He’s someone who fulfills his obligations, after all.

By the time Jou actually is in medical school in Kizuna, he truly has become among the crowd too busy to participate regularly in Digimon incident tackling (similar to Sora and Mimi), but To Sora indicates that he’s still keeping tabs on everyone through their group chat and emotionally supporting them, and it’s made clear in both the short and the overall movie that the rest of the group is sympathetic to and understanding of how difficult life is to juggle with all of this. Not only that, much like how Jou stated back in Adventure that he was looking for a way to meaningfully contribute and help out besides just fighting, Jou plays an important role in using his position to tend to all of the Eosmon kidnapping victims.

At least, until he ends up becoming a victim himself and is actually dragged into the fight -- and, now that he’s actually on the spot and the conflict is right in front of him, he approaches it with enthusiastic gusto, indicating that he’s still able to be as emotionally high-strung as ever.

We get more info on Jou in his Memorial Story short, “Kido Jou: Medical Student” (which takes place at some unspecified point before the movie), where we learn that Gomamon is still worried about how much that blood phobia thing might impact Jou’s career, and “tests” him by having himself and Agumon pose as mock victims. Jou, very tired and not in a mood to play, snaps at him (rather understandably, given that Gomamon is kind of being a bit insensitive here), but when Gomamon is injured, Jou immediately puts everything aside to help him, even through -- yep -- blood.

Again, it’s not entirely clear how severe Jou’s blood phobia was back when he was a kid, but it’s at least put on the table that Jou’s figured out a way to push past that in order to fulfill his dream, and especially when it involves a loved one being hurt in front of him. Jou tires himself out pretty badly with the work, but hey -- he used to jump recklessly into physical line of fire for his friends, so of course that kind of thing is nothing to him. (But he still apparently is a bit lacking in the confidence department.)

Because Jou was lucky enough to be able to concretely decide on what he wanted to do as early as elementary school, Jou’s epilogue career is naturally the single most straightforward, and really just amounts to “you know that thing he wanted to do? He did it.” And indeed, he becomes the Digital World’s first doctor -- presumably not inheriting his father’s clinic, nor following a high-status expected path, but choosing to become a pioneer in a place he has a deep emotional stake in, in a place where he’s needed because there are no alternatives. And, of course, he’s depicted treating Ogremon, who was effectively Jou’s first “patient” all the way in Adventure, the first step in him realizing that this was his path, and his alone.

Meta

Jou occupies an interesting position in the Digimon fanbase in terms of memes, considering that there’s a fanbase meme of over a decade where anything relevant to him gets people spamming “JOOOOOOOOOOOOO” (with varying levels of Os). Being a comedic but lovable character who tries his hardest but repeatedly runs himself into a corner, he also happens to resonate much harder with the adults in the audience rewatching the series, because all of us as disaster adults can just so easily look at him and go “oh, that’s me.” He also seems to be inexorably tied to the word “senpai”, given that so many characters call him that (including the 02 kids, who never went to school with him); after a certain point it’s hard to dispute that he (especially in 02) exudes this kind of “dependable senior” aura, and, like with “Ken-chan”, the Japanese fanbase has a tendency to constantly use “Jou-senpai” all of the time to refer to him affectionately.

His Japanese voice actor, Kikuchi Masami, also holds the distinction of having been in nearly every Digimon TV series to date (the only exception, as of this writing, being Appmon), with him having been Jou (and Jou’s entire family of two brothers, his mother, and his father) in Adventure and 02, Dolphin and Grani in Tamers, Neemon in Frontier and Adventure:, Kurata in Savers, and Damemon in Xros Wars. (Him being the absolutely despicable Kurata in contrast to the endearing and lovable Jou has been cited as quite a shock to many.) There’s been many a joke about Kikuchi’s constant presence, but Jou is undeniably his most iconic role for the franchise, and you can also imagine it’s conversely gotten a lot of people to fondly think of him every time Kikuchi reappears.

[jonathananubian]

Aliit Ori'shya eyn Eyayah be Ruyot [Star Wars/Mandalorian Fanfic]

Aliit Ori'shya eyn Eyayah be Ruyot:  Family is more than an echo of the past.

Summary: When a Jedi artifact sends Din somewhere else the poor man is disoriented and confused. He has no idea what’s going on or why the lights were suddenly so bright. He plans on keeping a low profile and scouting out this new place until he hears the sound of a young voice crying out in pain. Harsh words that should never be spoken to a child follow the sound of another blow and Din can’t help but to intervene.

Characters: Din Djarin, CC-2224 | Cody, CT-7567, Dred Priest, Jango Fett, Mij Gilamar, Kal Skirata.

Tags: Force Shenanigans, Protective Din, BAMF Din, Clone Cadets, Cuy’val Dar Dred Priest, Time travel, Not beta-read. (Now a chapter fic.)

Warnings: Child abuse, violence, cursing.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32481793

Spots danced across his vision as Din let out a low groan. His entire body felt as if it had fallen asleep, the pins and needles making him twitch and wince behind his helmet. Lifting his head he quickly glanced around for any signs of life before letting out a relieved sigh too low for the helmet speaker to pick up. Slowly sitting up he stared at the unfamiliar white walls around him and frowned in confusion.

This was not the damp old cave he’d found himself in earlier that cycle.

The last thing he remembered was stumbling and falling through a wall that should have been solid, but wasn’t. The walls changed from a damp old cave tunnel to a stagnant aired cavern with carved pillars. It looked exactly like the kind of thing Luke had asked him to look out for on his jobs so he’d cautiously made his way up the steps to the small altar at the top.

As he strode forward lights burst into life around him, startling him into reaching for his weapons. When nothing happened he relaxed his death grip on his spear and let out a small sigh of relief.

Resting in an indent in the elaborately carved stone was an orb that was smaller than his palm. It seemed opaque at first but the longer he stared at it, wondering if he should touch it or not, the clearer it became. Inside were dancing flecks of color that swirled together like an infinitesimal galaxy, almost hypnotic in the way they reflected the light.

Warily he reached for the orb, knowing that there was an inherent danger in anything touched or made by Jedi magic. Picking it up he tensed for something strange to happen, though Luke had told him most artifacts didn’t react to someone who was both force null and encased in beskar. When nothing happened he gripped the orb more firmly and carefully made his way back the way he’d come.

Of course it was just his luck that nothing ever went quite the way he expected.

There was a loud rumble as everything began to shake around him. He could hear the cracking of stone and looked up as sharp stalactites fell from the ceiling toward him. Diving out of the way he hissed in alarm as his grip on the orb proved weak.

The orb clattered to the ground and he sucked in a sharp breath as it rolled a few feet away from his outstretched hand. Scrambling to his feet he darted forward to grab it- but was too late.

Another chunk of rock detached from the ceiling and he watched it fall as if in slow motion.

The sound of the orb shattering was loud in the sudden silence that followed.

Then Din saw white.

Now here he was, stalking the white halls of the strange facility as he tried to figure out what in the Ka’ra had happened. Oh, he knew it was force osik. Din just didn’t know what kind of force osik. Luke had never been the best at explaining it in terms he understood and after the many long lectures he’d kind of started to tune it all out.

Checking around another bland corner into another junction that looked exactly like every other one he’d passed Din was about to dash across the open space when a sound was picked up by his helmet.

It froze him in his tracks, entire body stiff and ears straining just in case he’d misheard.

“Pathetic! Absolutely useless! Quit that bitching or I will twist off your head and shit down your neck!” The voice was rough, masculine, and yelling at a volume that was near impossible to miss.

But that wasn’t what Din was focused on.

The sound of a child trying and failing to muffle their cries of pain made his heart race in his chest and his blood boil in his veins.

Without a single thought to the consequences he pushed himself away from the wall and stalked down the hall the noise had come from, hands clenched at his sides.

“Did I say you could step out of line CC-2224? Get back in line before I put my boot so far up your ass you can spit shine it!” The more Din heard the faster he walked until he was practically belting down the long hallway.

“And you! You have the coordination of a one winged mynock tripping on spice! A defect like you wouldn’t know how to-" Slamming his hand down on the pad the door slid open to a large training room.

Din’s chest heaved as he took in the small forms standing around a circle in matching uniforms, not one of them taller than his waist. Near the center of the group was an armored man with one large hand around the neck of a blonde child, pinning them against the mats as they scrabbled to escape. There were recent bruises on the child’s face and blood running from their nose.

Din saw red.

“Demagolka!” He snarled, spear already in his hands as he stalked forward like the deadly hunter he was.

“Who the fu-” The man never got a chance to finish his sentence before Din was on him.

The guy put up a fight, Din would give him that, but he clearly hadn’t kept up with whatever training he’d been raised with.

Din on the other hand? He’d been training since his buir saved him during the Clone Wars. Had fought on the front lines during the Purge, and killed a Greater Krayt Dragon.

In the end the demagolka was dead with Din’s spear shoved up into his ribcage through a gap in his armor.

The children stared at him, looking too scared to move, as Din stood over their former tormentor. Pulling his spear out of the quickly cooling corpse he set it onto the ground and turned to regard the small blonde child.

Some time during the fight one of the older children had rushed forward and pulled the injured child away, cradling the blonde to their chest. As Din came closer the two of them flinched, holding fast to one another and trying desperately not to cry. Din stopped a few feet away and crouched so he wasn’t towering over them.

“Hey there. I’m not here to hurt you, I swear.” The children stiffened, their faces scrunching up slightly in confusion.

Din looked between them and frowned. The ade were very similar in appearance and he was fairly certain they were brothers. Not twins, one of them was at least a year or two younger, but definitely related.

But where had he seen a face like that before…

Din pushed the thought away. It was irrelevant to the situation at hand. Reaching into the pouches on his belt he slowly pulled out a small medical pack and showed it to the children. “It’s just some alcohol wipes and bacta spray. I want to make sure they’re okay. Will you let me?” He motioned toward the blonde who in turn looked up at their potentially elder sibling.

The child watched him for a moment, amber eyes intelligent and sharp, before they flicked over to the body of the fake Mandalorian. After a moment or two of silence the child turned back to him and nodded curtly.

Din’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled. “Thank you.” Getting closer he knelt in front of the children and opened the package in front of them. Taking out the alcohol wipe he gently ran it over the boy’s face, making a low noise of reassurance when the child flinched and let out a hiss of pain. “Hey, you’re doing good kid.” He soothed quietly as he checked the rest of their bruises. He had to hold back another flash of anger at the sight of a handprint that almost completely encircled the slender neck.

He should have inflicted a lot more pain on the demagolka.

“There you go, kid, feeling a bit better?” The child blinked dark brown eyes up at him and hesitantly nodded. Din reached over and ruffled their short cropped hair. “Mandokarla.” He said warmly.

The child let out a surprised squeak and ducked further into the arms of their ori’vod, who frowned up at him in confusion. Din got to his feet and looked around at the other children, looking for any further injuries, and paused as the strangeness of their appearance finally registered.

Every single one of them shared the same features.

It wasn’t exact, he was observant enough to notice small differences, but they were all so similar it was unsettling.

Then it clicked.

Clones.

Just like Boba.

The very thought made Din’s mind race. Had the last remnants of the Empire somehow gotten hold of Boba’s dna and re-started their clone army? Din thought they’d moved on to the damned droid troopers and attempting to use Grogu’s blood to give them access to Jedi magic. Did they bring back the clones because Moff Gideon had failed?

As the children continued to watch him warily one of them finally stepped forward. “Sir?” They said, voice shaking slightly.

Din snapped out of his thoughts and turned toward the child. “Yes?” He said softly. Clones or not they were just children. Injured, scared, children.

“What are your Orders, Sir? A-are you our new Sergeant now?” The child stood stiffly, arms at his sides even as his bottom lip trembled with nerves.

Din melted at the sight.

“No orders.” He said quietly, still worried he might spook the lot of them. “And I’m no one’s sergeant. I’m a Beroya.” He wasn’t sure if the kids knew what that was but he didn’t feel like explaining further. “But I don’t think we should stay here.” He glanced back at the corpse and swallowed the curses that tried to force themselves out of his mouth. “If they have friends then they’ll probably realize they’re dead soon.”

The kids stared up at him in confusion, looking so lost it hurt his soul. “Hey, I’m not going to let someone like that hurt you again. Okay?” He could feel their eyes on him and straightened further. “I swear. I will protect each and every one of you with my last breath.”

“Why?” The child holding onto the blonde asked, tone heated. “We’re just clones.”

Din thought carefully about what to say for a moment before he decided it was best to just tell the truth. “One of my ori’vode, my… elder brothers, is a clone. He’s known as one of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy.” Din stared right at the child as he spoke. “He is a person, just like you, and all of you have worth.”

There was a sense of something holding its breath, of tense anticipation, before the child’s eyes began to shine and he gave Din a watery smile. He opened his mouth to speak when the sound of a door opening behind them alerted Din to uninvited guests.

“What the fuck is going on in here!” An enraged voice that sounded oddly familiar barked behind him.

In an instant Din turned, dove for his spear, and sprang to his feet; placing his body between the unknown voice and the children.

“Stay behind me!” He ordered the children calmly through the speaker of his helmet.

Standing just inside the doorway were three sentients dressed in beskar’gam. Din growled, watching their every move.

Wearing beskar’gam used to mean that someone was an ally. But with all he’d seen in the last few months there was no guarantee that these three were not also demagolkase.

“Who the hell are you? What are you- is that fucking Priest?” The one in the sandy-yellow of vengeance asked in Mando’a, sounding shocked and incredulous.

“Cadets, get away from them! They’re an intruder!” The second one in gold beskar’gam barked at the children, although his voice was filled more with concern than anything else.

Behind him the children shifted anxiously on their feet but didn’t move.

“Leave the ade alone. Your quarrel is with me.” Din growled, gripping the spear tighter.

“Why are you protecting them?” The one in blue and unpainted beskar asked.

“Children are the future.” He stated firmly. “This is the Way.”

There was a long moment of silence before the one in silver and blue reached up to take off his helmet. “Then we are not your enemy.” Without the interference of the speaker Din stiffened as he finally placed the voice. “My name is Jango Fett, House Mereel.”

Dank ferrik, was that Boba’s buir? What the kark kind of Jedi magic was this?

"I think we need to sit down and have a little talk." Boba's buir said, intelligent eyes straying to the nearby corpse of the demagolka. "At the very least I have to thank you for taking out that trash."

Oh. Well... there really wasn't much else he could do, was there?

"Fine." He said lowering his spear. "But I want a medic to check on the ade. Some of them are injured."

Jango Fett's face split into a grin that set off all of Din's danger senses.

"That can be arranged."

[kali-writes-meta]

Old Habits Die Hard With a Vengeance: Faulty Behavior Patterns in "Fault"

Just as the first two episodes were all about setting plans in motion,

"Fault" was all about people's old behavior patterns failing them under the increasingly desperate circumstances. In just under 20 minutes most of the characters were shown needing to rethink their typical way of doing things and level up.

We start with Qrow, in jail as a result of a fiasco that ended with Tyrian murdering Clover with Qrow's weapon. He's processed what happened enough to realize that this failure had many fathers, including both Clover and himself.

Qrow confesses to exploiting Clover, using his Semblance to neutralize Qrow's Semblance. He's once again convinced that his Semblance makes him a social pariah. Robyn points out that her Semblance doesn't make other people comfortable around her either. (Can confirm. Being really good at spotting lies is not exactly a popular party trick.) Qrow starts to realize that something has to change.

(I hope he will work on truly mastering his Semblance. All he's ever done with it is try to suppress it or push it in a certain direction. If he can learn to flip the probability at will and direct it with pinpoint accuracy he would possess a formidable advantage.)

Harriet and Marrow deposit Watts back in the cellblock, and Harriet has a face-off with Robyn. Robyn points out that if Harriet wants the truth Robyn will provide it, but Harriet rejects the opportunity, in essence rejecting the truth. Both Harriet and Marrow seem shaken by Harriet's rejection of the truth, and with good reason. The Ace-Ops are a highly honored unit. Once Truth leaves the building, Honor follows not long after. If obeying Ironwood leads them to reject Truth, Honor won't be theirs for much longer. Like it or not, something is going to change.

Then we go to Yang, Jaune, and Ren trying to rescue Oscar from the Hound. Unfortunately for them the Hound keeps changing it's behavior. They can't keep up with the changes and lose. The Hound has changed the rules for what to expect from the Grimm. If they are ever going to beat the Hound, they must change their strategy.

Back on Atlas Ruby's team arrives at Schnee Manor with a severely injured Nora, who coincidentally in the last episode passed on the opportunity to try something new and instead doubled down on what she's done before, with disastrous effects to her health. (Not judging, just pointing out.) They are met by a decidedly out of sorts Whitley, who tells them the only other person there is Willow.

Of all the characters whose lives have been turned upside down in the last 24 hours, probably no one was less prepared for it than Whitley. Sure, having to deal with Jacques has made him used to instability, but as long as he could cling to and fawn over Jacques, he had a greater measure of safety than the others in the family. (Not judging, just pointing out.). Now that one stabilizer is gone and he is truly alone. Things have changed.

Whitley tries the supercilious behavior that Jacques approved of, but it cuts no ice with this crowd. He falls back on the passive-agressive behavior he's previously used with ice. It works just as badly.

"Fine. (dramatic sigh) What do you expect ME to do then?"

Some people thought that meant he was asking how he could help. Nope. That is passive-agressive sibling-speak for, "How are you going to inconvenience me THIS time?"

Weiss pulls out her inner Jacques. "Go to your room!"

Where did that come from? Well, Jacques. Weiss was under enormous stress and back where she had been abused for years. She reverted to acting like her abuser.

This is a GOOD thing in the long run. The myth is that simply getting away from a child abuser ends the abuse, when in real life the victim has to root out the tendency to act like their former abuser under stress. But victims also have a tendency to deny that they would ever do such a horrible thing -- until they do it. Weiss has done it in front of witnesses. That's the first step to rooting out the behavior in her psyche and truly ending the cycle of abuse.

Whitley acting like Jacques' flunky is probably not going to work for him anymore. Weiss acting like Jacques is probably not something she wants to repeat. Both of them are due for a change.

Meanwhile back on the tundra Ren is having the breakdown he's been repressing ever since learning Salem is immortal. I'll post more on Ren in a separate post, but right now it's enough to say that what he's been doing to cope isn't working. Jaune tries to tell him he needs to change his outlook, but Ren prefers to sulk. He knows something needs to change, but he is too depressed to see any change for the better happening.

Oscar is brought before Salem. Ozpin tries to reassure Oscar by repeating the line Salem told Ozma when he's reborn in the realm of Darkness, "It's going to be okay." Now I cut Ozpin a lot of slack, but not this time. It would be convenient for Salem to have Oscar alive and relatively sane, but that's an inexcusably low bar for "okay". Ozpin needs to change how he works with Oscar.

Salem interrogates Oscar. Oscar tries to act first like Ozpin, then like Ruby. Neither act cuts any ice with Salem, who leaves Hazel to beat a change of attitude into Oscar.

Upon leaving Salem runs into Cinder, who wants to chase after Penny. Salem, brings up Cinder's previous fiasco and orders her to stay her and do nothing without orders. Cinder acquiesces, repeating the line from the first episode, "Without you I am nothing."

Where did that line come from? None of the rest of Salem's Lot say it, so it probably comes from Cinder's earlier life. In all likelihood what Cinder does next probably comes from the same time and place -- sneak out behind the back of her boss to do what Cinder wants to do. That behavior may have worked in her last life, but I doubt it will work this time.

Neo clearly wants several changes, starting with a change of continent. Emerald is eager to regain Cinder's favor and go back to the way things used to be with Cinder. In her first appearance she was willing to break Cinder's rules and kill an informant to win Cinder's respect. Now she's willing to break Salem's rules for Cinder's regard. I doubt the second attempt is going to end any better than the first one did. The only question is, when will Emerald realize she needs to change her ways?