#a lot of people struggle with it lol
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Tomodachi Life:
"Hold my beer..."
Just reminding everyone that this was literally a minigame in WarioWare and most people probably thought nothing of it
#nintendo knew exactly what they were doing#who programmed this?#sneezing#snzfucker#sneezeblr#snz kink#snzblr#snz#like think about it#you could make ANY mii you wanted#and there's a chance that this minigame would pop up#and they could sneeze for you#the minigame is kinda janky tho#a lot of people struggle with it lol
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yeah so this was insane
#i feel like too many people reduce this interaction to jason being like ‘lol same’#but idk :/#this chapter is from jason’s pov#and leading up to it he’s like ‘people keep walking on eggshells around me bc of the the michael varus stab wound’#and he hates it so when he goes on deck to help out with the storm#everyone’s like wtf except for percy#and jason states how much he appreciated percy not treating him like a sick kid#and i feel like it’s echoed in this sentiment where jason could say so many things like#‘you should never feel that way’ ‘im here if you need anything’#but he doesn’t make percy feel alone in his desire to just…. end it all#which ik for some people that doesn’t work but you’re not a character in hoo and percy is dealing with so much guilt#and he can’t tell annabeth bc she’s a main aspect of that guilt#and he doesn’t wanna guilt her more and he feels ashamed and when he describes this he feels weird for feeling it#so having jason this tough guy be like ‘yo i understand it bc i felt the same way#that’s gotta mean a lot to percy#also insane how jason who also struggles to display vulnerability#allows it in one of few times in this moment just so percy this guy he’s supposed to be jealous about#feels comforted and not alone in his guilt and shame#and also it’s just insane how jason’s wanting to kay em ess does not get talked about AT ALL#and just seeing his mom and the pressure of new rome getting to him#like this scene is insane and i’ll never shut up about it#also ignore me i’m just finishing my reread of hoo that took all summer#jason grace#percy jackson#pjo#ashla.txt
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Recently I found a list I made several months ago of Big Mama words that she uses in canon, so I thought I'd share it. (Note: this is not complete and the notes on meaning/use are limited by what I guessed from context.)
Biddily-boo: auction, bidding
Bimbally bugs: no particularly new meaning, her way of saying bugs
Contrapulation: complex object, contraption
Crackadoo: mess, disturbance
Dimbally door: no particularly new meaning, her way of saying door
Fantumptuous: very good, fabulous, amazing
Fizzy-winkle: mess, chaos
Fuggy-doodles: thieves
Hollydoo: apparently a sort of limb
Malutacious monsters: positive apparently
Meddle-doos: meddlers, irritants
Oh, giggily-pin: exclamation
Scramulent: good, pleasing (occasionally used sarcastically)
Scrumbulent: good, pleasing
Silly-billy: silly
Skanktonious: stinky, repulsive
Tissle-tassle: problem, possibly a little issue that gets bigger
Thrashy-diddle: fight
And I organized them alphabetically because it was fun. If anyone has more, feel free to add!
#rottmnt#rottmnt au#rottmnt fanfiction#rottmnt fanfic#rottmnt big mama#rise big mama#rise of the tmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#bambi's rambling#i've noticed that a lot of people struggle to write big mama because of the weird words so here ya go it's the weird words lol#tmnt reference
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Wake up, BurningCheese/GoldenSpice babes, new poorly drawn blorbos just dropped
They look cooler in my head, I swear.
the images didn't show up the first time wtf lol
The kids are finally here, yay. I promised I'd show you them, and I finally stopped being an asshole and followed through. Almost got 200 followers and I'm very grateful for it - really, I'm nobody. I'm just some clown who says dumb stuff and makes dumb memes and writes cringey stories, and yet I convinced almost 200 people to tune in. Thank you all so much, users on here and anons in my inbox alike. As a token of appreciation, you can all endure my rambling about my OCs and witness a person in their early 20s draw like a 12 year old.
The boy is Pepper Jack (or Pepper Jack Cookie). He's the firstborn and older than his sister by a few years. He takes after his mother in a lot of ways, primarily in her appearance (save for nabbing his father's red eyes). He's incredibly bright (and a smartass lol), preferring to think his way out of conflict rather than fight his way out... not that he's above violence at all, if that glaive doesn't give it away lol. He harbors a deep sense of love and loyalty towards his family and his peoples, and carries the weight of his responsibilities and heritage with as much confidence and poise as he can muster. (There are/will be times where he stumbles, of course. He's not perfect. He struggles a lot more than he lets on, really. But he tries his best, for everyone's sake.)
The girl is Matar Paneer (or Matar Paneer Cookie). Again, she's the younger one by a few years. She was all but made in her father's image, save for inheriting her mother's eyes. She's a little firecracker: lively and fun-loving and stubborn as a mule. She doesn't ask "can I have/do this thing", she tells you "I'm going to have/do this thing". Golden is proud as anything to see her daughter be so greedy... until that greed comes into conflict with her and Spice's authority lol. But she's a good kid, despite being such a handful. She has an enormous heart and is not afraid to stand up for others/what's right, and she loves her parents and brother more than anything in the world. She might doubt her own capabilities, she might secretly fear that she's not strong enough to do what she needs to... but she keeps pushing anyway, because she'd honestly choose death over quitting.
Your eyes are not deceiving you, Pepper Jack's wings are blue lol. There's an actual reason for that. And that USO (Unidentified Sitting Object) in Matar Paneer's hair is a lotus (the cheese one in the GCK decor set lol). There's a reason for that, too. I thought it would be cool to give Jack a glaive and swap out the normal blade for that of a khopesh sword (glaives are not Egyptian, they only saw use in Asia and Europe, but I just HAD to give him a glaive), to add that Egyptian touch. Paneer's supposed to be wearing a pattu pavadai, it's a traditional Indian dress for young girls. It's a blouse plus a skirt. She's holding katar, Indian knives (Cilantro Cobra has them, too). And her hair's supposed to be in a low ponytail.
Merchant thinks that if they explain what their terrible drawings are supposed to convey, people will understand their intended vision and the pain will stop
I sat down and did research into both Egyptian and Hindu mythology for the sake of drawing inspiration for them both. I'll explain in detail in another post, but basically: both of them take after one Egyptian god and one Hindu god each. Golden takes after Ra and Spice takes after Shiva, so I figured I'd follow along that line.
Please flood my inbox with questions about them now. I've really been dying to talk about them for ages now. I've drafted extensive character sheets for them both, I even made up in-game descriptions for them lol. They're my little fankid blorbos and I love them :') I hope you all come to love them, too
(Also, I'm sorry they're on lined paper. I'm visiting family rn and that's the only paper my grandmother has in her house. I'd have to drive to a stationery to get printer paper and I'd really rather not drive in this particular country lol (shit roads, even shittier drivers). I'll doodle them on printer paper whenever somebody remembers to bring me some)
#haha spicy cheese and cheesy curry. Get it?#also... when you accidentally indirectly ship Ra x Shiva via making up kids technically born from them lol. Does this count as Old Man Yaoi#(jk I mean no disrespect whatsoever. These gods/faiths are and were important to people and I don't mean to offend)#(I genuinely love learning about other religions and I had fun being inspired by these ones)#(seriously I went ham with this shit. Pepper Jack's birth is based on an Egyptian creation myth lol)#These two have long roads ahead of them. They're going to struggle and get hurt. But they'll pull through and come back better than before#fr please ask me stuff about them. I need an excuse to ramble for 10k words#you can even ask stupid shit like what their favorite color is#I love these two. I feel like their crazy grandma lol#also I have lots of thoughts wrt Spice & Golden as parents and their thoughts/feelings about parenthood#plus their individual relationships with each child#so you can expect me to rant about that too lol#maybe someday Merchant will shut the fuck up#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#burningcheese#goldenspice#cookie run oc#cookie run fankid#pepper jack cookie#matar paneer cookie
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Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones
Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones
Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.
The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire
And Echo as a soldier of the Republic
But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him
Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose
Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers
And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose
"A ship in port is a safer one"
"but it's not the reason it was made"
"So forgive me if I wander off"
"And forgive me more if I just stay"
Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies
(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)
#i have lots of thoughts and many draft posts in which i've been struggling to figure out how to word those thoughts#tbb had SO much potential#it was so close!#it really could have been on par with Andor if it has just tried#i feel like i'm projecting these themes that aren't really there#the pieces are there the show just didn't focus on them#i considered saying hunter 'hides from the empire to protect his family' but that never included crosshair just omega#so that felt like giving him too much credit#ignore the music video i just really love the acoustic version bc MMM that viol!#the rest of the lyrics totally fit for clones of this era too btw#like SO WELL ugh#if i had the time resources and attention span I'd make a music video#maybe someday...#(lol i have waay too many projects stuck in my brain and also the new semester started and i'm already so behind rip)#while we're on the subject of radical face and clones#“always gold” is THE perfect heartbreaking Kix song!#tbb#tbb analysis#sw tcw#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#arc trooper echo#the clones#radical face#bardic musings#sorry i didn't credit the gifs#this has been in my drafts since long before i knew people care about that and i can't find where i found them from#just know the shitty ones are the ones i made lol
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sometimes I think so much of "queer" discourse surrounds semantics and identity labels because people engaging in these spaces legitimately do not live life outside of the internet. I don't just mean they don't go outside or talk to real people, but the way they interact with real people is never truly free from the internet. I think this is just sort of how gen z are now unfortunately, so much of our lives are consumed by handheld devices and social media platforms, but I find it way more prevalent in artsy, liberal, tra-positive communities. (the amount of times I just hear people straight up quote popular tumblr posts or tiktok trends...)
and surrounding yourself in real life with people who frequent the same internet circles as you and thus hold the same beliefs is a great way to not end up experiencing anything actually real, and thus you never really learn anything from your life experiences or from other perspectives, much less experiences of relationships or sex or romance. leading to people caring way too much about words and perception with things like pronouns or microlabels or "validity." everything is about optics and holding the "correct" opinions because that's the state of the internet these days! of course they'd ignore the actual material aspects of oppression, what is the internet if not a breeding ground for consumerist distraction from dealing with the various staggering issues in society?
"touch grass" isn't even a good enough solution anymore. can you partake in any hobby without thinking of how other people would percieve it? can you have a conversation without parroting the words of a tiktok post? can you seek love and relationships without obscuring it in layers of branding? can you understand yourself, truly understand who you are, without obsessing over how it looks on a screen?
#we really went from a “the internet is a helpful tool that can enrich our lives” to “we should make real life more like the internet”#I struggle to write these in fear of coming off too much like “phone bad” since that's not what I believe but people could take it that way#but I think it's genuinely really damaging to young people to not acknowledge and criticize the way the internet changes us#also as always consider this a vague towards ace/aro discourse because that's sort of what made me think of this the most#but idk I think the general conceit of the internet as a corrupting force irl towards community can be seen in a lot of spaces#discourse#gender critical#myo is rambling.#kind of a personal reminder for myself too lol
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Happy summer, everybody!
This has been a big project to take and while there's stuff to improve I'm pretty happy with it. Be sure to zoom in the big picture for details and read the comic from left to right. (Needless to say, please don't try A.B.A's behaviour.. For your safety)
Bonus doodle:
#a.b.a#paracelsus#slayer#guilty gear#I almost forgot slayer's shirt pattern! I was also supposed to draw his cape floating over sharon to shield her from the sun but...#this whole drawing collection took roughly a month to complete and I forgot. I'm too tired right now#speaking of. it's my first time drawing sharon I hope she's okay!#yes slayer carries and wears in the nose his 200 spf sunscreen from xrds treasure hunt animation :)#as for the big main picture. it left me quite exhausted and I know the lighting leaves a lot to be desired but I'm proud! learnt a lot#first time drawing blue para too. I hope his metallic sheen is alright#more than aba's skin sheen for sure. I'll improve it in the future! btw tweaked a bit her attire's palette from last time and made her keep#the headband cause trying to figure out how her hair would properly fall was a hassle lmao#fun fact: the bird is an european herring gull#the crab is an edible crab and the palm trees are coconut palm trees with no fruit lol#I wanted to draw fan palms which are a kind of palm tree that deserves more love but the leaf shape was so difficult to draw#I did struggle a lot with these two.. they look more like feathers but again. that can be studied and improved in the future#despite all the lows summertime can have for me whenever it's a nice day and we can go to the beach I feel everything is worth it and will#be okay. hope I could translate that here. hi new people I tend to ramble a lot in my post tags#art tag2b named#sharon
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Jealuc skinny dipping shenanigans (that I drew 6 months ago)
#jealuc#jean gunnhildr#diluc#genshin impact#im seeing people reblogging my old SPN art#and while it's nice to see my blog still lives on#I also need to show my art improvement lol#welp it's mostly anatomy bc Ive been struggling a whole ass lot with rendering colors lately#anyways#enjoy#my art#my genshin art#diluc ragnvindr#also hello here I am posting at a random time during nighttime bc fuck it
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I'm struggling to word this but I'm finally ready to talk about it and I want people to listen.
I've noticed a type of racism in leftist communities I don't see talked about a lot. I am Quarter Japanese and I am visibly mixed, but a lot of leftists see "quarter" and assume that I don't have the right to an opinion on issues that effect me. The sentiment I've gotten from mostly white leftists is that I'm not "POC enough" for a lot of discussions.
There's this weird thing in a lot of leftist spaces where your appearance and percentage, not your experiences based on your race, are considered above all.
Meanwhile, in reality, all aspects of my identity are affected by my race and my family's experience with Japanese internment. An event which stripped them of any wealth they had acquired since moving to Canada over 50 years before the war.
An event that cause the intermarriage rate of Japanese-canadians and white Canadians to be over 90 percent post internment because we viewed proximity to whiteness as safety. An event which left them in severe poverty until my dad and aunt worked their asses off to get a degree. The generational trauma goes so deep my dad didn't want me transitioning because he was worried about what the government would do to me.
Because of my race I experienced negligence from authority figures related to pretty severe racially based bullying at 12. That negligence could have killed me. I've had to deal with microaggressions and straight up racism related to my last name on multiple occasions.
One time I was out with a friend and he grabbed my arm tight and dragged me to walk faster. A man wearing a white lives matter T-shirt was standing in the middle of the path looking directly at me when I turned around.
I'm pretty sure this wasn't based on me being feminine and goth that day, I live in a city with a decent amount of people in alt subculture and my friend was way more gothed up and queer than me. I was barely passing as a guy at that point so it wasn't because I was a man in a dress. I know this is a weaker point, but it made me realize just how unsafe I am in my own community even though I'm a mixed person in a heavily multicultural city.
Obviously, this isn't on the scale of someone who is less white passing than me and/or has more compounding marginalizations. However I've found that the fact I'm mixed race has been used against me to devalue my experience and knowledge regarding what it's like to be a POC in Canada.
I can assure you I am aware of how bad it is, and I am aware of how good I have it. I also want you to be aware that it's not all sunshine rainbows and bunny farts to be more white, it doesn't make the racism go away. It often just makes it more covert and easy to explain away because I'm "not really Japanese"
#tw racism#please be aware i struggle to type because of dyspraxia pleade br kind about grammar and spellinv#i just want to share my experiences and also talk about that racism idk if im oversharing but i wannamake my point#i have a lot of insights i feel are valuable but i also feel unwelcome in white leftist spaces because of how ive been treated in the past#ei trying to say that im fully white passing and dont experience racism and then having to relive truama to explain no actually#ive experienced quite a bit#but i also feel scared to go to bipoc centred spaces because of that judgement from other spaces#what if i AM white passing?#im not lol#people on the east coast have just never met a mixed japanese person LOL#Like ive met one perosn outsode my family who is mixed Japanese and shes like 15 and my sisters friend so not exactly the sorta community#im looking for haha#if i were out west (where internment occured and also just. closer to japan.) i would have a different experience i think#idk#this is a ramble atp#edit when i say white leftist spaces i mean primarly white spaces#to vlarify#clarify
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I just wanna gush bc omg I love the 666 series so much. I think it made me realize I might be... furry-ish? adjacent? I just find it so satisfying how you go into detail about the unique body features of both of them, the way it feels to have deer ears or kiss a TV and just generally how much thought is put into the way their bodies work, and I've realized that my interest in that kind of idea is a pretty good reason to partake in more explicitly furry media lmao. Anyways
I'm also really in love with how you maintain the balance of each of their personality traits. Vox is simultaneously so pathetic and cringefail (also your dialogue for him is perfect, I can hear it crystal clear in my head) but also he has vastly more emotional intelligence than Alastor, no doubt at least in part because he has to deal with Val, and he's able to marginally calm down with his obsession to deal with sticky situations, but even then he still retains his personality and bumbles things sometimes because of the flaws in said personality! It's great. I also really appreciate the balance you've struck with Alastor, I feel like often Alastor is either written to either soften up so immediately that it feels disconnected from his character or is written overly mean and heartless for my liking and the way you've written him is such a delicious balance between softer aspects such as the prey instincts or moments of vulnerability and his untouchable and manipulative self, and also the way this side of him is neither written as wholly a front or wholly his real nature and the complex ways this makes him struggle with his increasing vulnerability. TL;DR arghgr your characterization is so good it makes me go a little feral
Also while I'm here, I'm curious whether you can give an answer to the degree to which Alastor is touch-averse. There's obviously a lot of ways in which he fundamentally dislikes touch but it also seems like there's at least some kinds of touch where he doesn't dislike the touch itself so much as he's afraid of the way it brings about feelings of caring and/or enjoyment being cared for. I'm curious how much, in general, you would say his touch aversion comes from either cause and possibly what kinds of touch do/don't provoke those flavors of aversion
Omg, what a lovely ask to receive. Honestly, everything you said that you enjoy about how I characterize these two is very much what I've been actively gunning for, so it's an absolute delight to see it outlined back to me. Success!!! Thank you so much!
And ahaha - I'm not a furry but I fucking love inhuman characters. Being raised in the pits of Homestuck fantroll RP made me enjoy the whole "they're bug/fish aliens" thing and it definitely rears its head again any time I encounter characters with inhuman qualities. I love writing Vox's TV/computer-ness and Alastor's deer and radio bits, and integrating them into who they now are as people.
As for Alastor's touch-aversion: It's funny that you ask about this, because the next chapter of 666 is going to dive into it a bit. Specifically into the fact that it's not, like, a set of boundaries that is consistently defined, and I write him that way on purpose. The very first time he and Vox sleep together, Alastor bottoms. He becomes significantly less amenable to touch after he goes through an uncomfortable rut cycle that gets sexual. By the time Vox convinces Alastor to fuck him, Alastor would never let Vox do that again and frankly only agrees to topping because Vox gave him an option that didn't involve getting his dick out. Then in the next episode, they're having clothes-off sexual contact. So, what gives?
Things that play into Alastor's willingness to touch and be touched as far as Vox is concerned:
How does he see Vox at that point in time? Disgustingly entitled (ew)? Hilariously beneath him (haha who cares)?
Does he care about what Vox thinks of him? Does Vox touching him draw his attention to positive or negative assumptions he has about Vox's perspective on doing so?
What value has he attached to this particular touch in the power balance of their relationship? Is he humoring Vox? Does he assume Vox thinks he's owed this? Does he perceive it as something Vox is genuinely doing for him?
Has he tried this particular kind of touch before? He's pretty willing to experiment, but that doesn't mean he'll do something twice without a compelling reason if he didn't like it the first time.
Is he getting off on this situation sexually? If so, is it fully willing (read: not a byproduct of uncomfortable hormones) on his part? That only really happens when he's in a submissive role and Vox is hitting a few very specific kinks, a major one of which is basically CNC tilted 30 degrees to the left.
Is he enjoying the touch in platonic ways? How does he feel about that? Is it a vulnerability to want something? Is it feeding his ego to be catered to? Is he worried that what he enjoys platonically is being read into in ways he doesn't like?
Is he fucking drunk? Things that bother you when sober often seem like a non-issue when you're not, both on a physical and emotional level.
How much touching has been happening recently? Has he hit his limit? Did he deliberately put himself into a situation earlier to have his limit be hit and surpassed, and now he's in the aftermath?
He does have a certain fundamental purely physical dislike of touch, but it's something that is really affected by how he perceives each individual situation as well as his relationship with Vox at that time, and his previous experiences!
#ask#personal#Anonymous#t#hazbin hotel#my writing#666 live on air#I'm not a furry but the perils of being agender aromantic and asexual#aka the full complement of “none of the above” box checks LOL#means that a lot of the time I feel vaguely detached from the ways people tend to even subconsciously define humanity#I think that's where a lot of my appreciation for inhuman traits in very human characters comes from#(also my favorite SFF genre is “non-human entity struggles with very human emotions” as well a la murderbot and imperial radsch)#(ANYWAY. tangent.)#long post
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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year
#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent#like#I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house#things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks#but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence#I’ve flown across the country twice this year#driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway#gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods#eaten tons of new foods#I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things#but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad#it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational#likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me#bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol#but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do#I’ve come along way#and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people#but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet#I think I did pretty good lol#I’m starting to feel like a confident person again#I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again#and it’s pretty nice#just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all#maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways#to see that improvement is possible#lol anyways happy November#mae rambles
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from the bottom of my heart, thank you for everything. there will never be another like you. ever.
#yellow was his colour because it emphasised the light he gave off#this is so redundant given i haven’t used this blog for two years and then i came back for like a week only for this to happen LOL#anyways if you’re reading this: thank you. this blog meant more to me than anything & the friendships it gave me will last a lifetime.#i think he’d be happiest to know that over the years he gave people a sense of community & belonging.#especially people who maybe felt like they didn’t have that growing up (me)#sitting back and realising i grew up with him fills me with such a sense of privilege & happiness that i cannot even begin to describe#this is so personal but i struggled a lot in 2020 (as everyone did) and having him along with f1 & this blog was such a saving grace for me#and i don’t think i could ever begin to express my gratitude. to him & to anyone this blog gave to me.#he will always be formula one to me & the reality that he won’t be here again is just far too painful for me to accept.#i feel good about leaving this blog behind for good & everything it holds. every photo. every liveblog. snapshots of his career.#i hope people can continue to get the same joy from it that i had when posting. and i hope you can remember daniel’s career for what it was#he deserves it.#so again: thank you.
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i think if you have to go to 'never seen a transandrobro that wasn't a zionist' then you're showing your ass that you do not know anything about anything. you can make your point without resorting to saying 'all trans men who are concerned about their oppression are complicit in genocide' just by the way. that's a thing you can do. it's not our fault that you've run out of ways to convince yourself you're in the right either
this sort of thing doesn't make you a friend to palestinians. you don't need to use their oppression as a gotcha. using real, human lives, past and present, as a gotcha in internet discussions about whether transandrophobia exists?
but, like, regardless, a bunch of trans men being zionists does not suddenly mean that every trans man is a zionist nor that trans men are, by design, uniquely evil or undeserving of having their concerns taken seriously. we've been through this with TERFs and trans women - yeah there are trans women pedophiles and that does not mean all trans women are pedophiles. but you, so-called defenders of trans women, are so, so, so close to repeating that exact rhetoric but, nay, it's okay cos you're doing it to trans men, who aren't really oppressed anyway, so it doesn't count.
#transandrophobia#&& i've been pro-palestine since before 2013. just personally. lol#&& if you're struggling with 'some oppressed people have bad opinions' you're going to struggle with being leftist in general#you HAVE to come to terms with people being people NOW and therefore being fallible or you will never be the leftist you think you are#&& a lot of you talk about not doing gender/sex essentialism. but don't apply it when it comes to men specifically#which is reaaaaaaaaally weeeeeeeeird. you can't have both. either men AND women are inherently one way or neither are. choose#anyway i should stop. cos i could go on forever.
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the thought of not seeing them for 18 months hurts my heart fr
#sigh#like im so sad lmao#im so sad for them#it’s gotta be so tough#to just#completely change your life in an instant#for nearly two years#i hope they all do okay mentally and physically#i love them so much wow#and like#im so sad that this little community on the web of people who enjoy them will slowly fade#not that bts is going to lose popularity or what not just#it’s natural for people to move on to other things in the time being#bc the lack of content or interaction yk#oof im so attached to them#and im so attached to yall lol#i don’t want to lose this community#i don’t want them to struggle or be unhappy#this is a lot lmao#anywho#love you guys and if you need to talk im here#love them so much and will be longingly looking out a window until 2025 lol
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Is there a 300 page essay about Murderbot's armor (specifically the opaque helmet) as a not-so-subtle metaphor for masking in a clearly neurodivergent character already? Because I need it.
The way Murderbot is unvoluntarily without its opaque armor in All System Red in front of the crew (i.e. unmasking) and appears surprised at its own strong facial expressions and other people's reaction to it? The vulnerability that comes with that and how Murderbot spends pretty much the rest of the book wearing or actively missing its armor which keeps it safe from the mortifying ordeal of being known (yet sometimes other characters suggest it might help for it to not opacify the helmet in order for others to see it as a person and to trust it (and in the end idk if it would have achieved the rewards of being loved by its humans and have had its needs met if it hadn't unmasked in this relatively safe environment sometimes)).
Also there's the whole avoiding-looking-directly-at-people-and-using-drones-instead thing which Murderbot usually hides using the opaque helmet, but whenever it doesn't have that people notice it and many react negatively/confused. I think that's a whole neurodivergent-applicable situation in and of itself? Like damn
And then Mensah encourages Murderbot not to wear armor on Preservation station since it would not need it there, Murderbot is hesitant but ends up not wearing any (like 4 books later when we finally get to that bridge) (going for the comfortable clothes it chose for itself instead, with very strong feelings about the whole being able to make choices thing that I cannot go into further at this point because I would absolutely end up BITING SOMETHING OR SOMEONE).
And I'm not going to advocate for unmasking all the time in any setting because hell no, sometimes it absolutely sucks and people are irritated by Murderbot's now visible quirks and are afraid of what they don't know, but many GET TO KNOW Murderbot better and because there are other people that make sure Murderbot is safe and respected and are willing to get people fired for it if they disrespect it (Pin-Lee my beloved) Murderbot can experiment with this situation without being exiled to some abonded part of a planet and other people are forced to spend enough time around ot to learn to respect it and even like it. I just....... It must be so scary and Murderbot is handling so much at once and in this essay I will
PS sorry this is a disorganized mess but so am I and I have so many Thoughts and even more Emotions and so little patience.
#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#all systems red#murderbot diaries#𓄿#i sincerely hope this post isn't insensitive because i feel like the autism vibes are strong with murderbot and i am not diagnosed with tha#but i have adhd and a fun mix of anxiety and depression#and i've been deepdiving into autism research to help get one of my closest friends diagnosed (not possible at the moment)#and i relate so strongly in many ways and i dont know if its just that adhd and autism can overlap heavily#or my personal cocktail of adhd anxiety depression etc#or if i am on the spectrum somewhere myself#in any case i feel very strong solidarity and i hope i am not overstepping#but the main point here is the masking and that is DEFINITELY something ive been struggling with a lot recently#hence the strong emotions lol#i dont like to unmask. it sucks. but it can be so worth it.#and i am practicing and learning and trying my best#i feel like this fun sideblog for my scifi hyperfixations is quickly turning into a mess of therapy ramblings for myself#maybe thats because i love these books particularly BECAUSE i relate so strongly to these characters#in ways that are not NormalTM. and surprising for me#and ways that really help me figure out who i am and why dealing sith other people is so difficult for me#welp nevermind#all hail murderbot i guess
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Btw I'm basically speedrunning now
#Rain world#game clips#I've gotten a lot better since I made this video but I still love it. This will be my tenth challenge and I've spent like 7 hours on it lol#I mean 7 hours of actual attempts before I realized I need to get better to stand a chance.#So I'm smacking my friends in the face with rocks while sliding or have to wait for everyone to catch up all the time#Because now I can't NOT use the cool movement tech I've learned. It's so fun and useful and ✨fast✨#It's actually saved our lives so many times. Nothing funnier than yelling ''BEND OVER'' to my buddy and absolutely booking it#Also since we've delved into the world of modded regions it's been extremely nice for the bs parkour people include for no reason 😭#If I'M struggling good god it must be tough for casual players#SPEAKING OF MODS! I've been hanging out and talking with modders and oh my god they're all crazy#One of my favs was the deserted wastelands dev who was just. So jaded. it was so funny#And we're playing thru Drought which is very interesting. It has like. Multiple endings and stuff#Finally know who that striped black cat is lmao#Gonna post some fanart in the future because I'm actually in love. Moon is such a mom in this campaign#It's also a horribly glitchy mess that destroys your game files but wwyd
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